Swamp Dogg Gets His Pool Painted (2024) Movie Script
1
Bear in mind,
this is just a dream.
But again, it could be reality.
Reality...
That's a slippery subject.
"The only difference
between reality and fiction
is that fiction
needs to be credible."
-Mark Twain.
But a dream...
no one can take that
away from you
no matter how incredible
it might be.
Dream your ass
to Los Angeles...
land of four million dreamers.
What are those dreams?
Fame? Glory? Success?
A fleet
of unnecessary automobiles?
For a lucky few,
the dream is something
they can hold,
and shape
with little resistance.
For everyone else,
well, dream all you want.
Reality's a motherfucker.
And to survive it,
you might need to become
something else entirely.
An unruly, ill-mannered mutt
that just crawled up
out the swamp.
Only one way to find out.
Lately, I can't breathe
These walls are closing in
On me
This lump in my throat...
I'm choking to death...
Jesse!
How many gallons of paint, man,
do you think it's going to take
to do this?
Uh, I have no idea.
- No idea?
- Nope.
Is that good news
or bad news?
That's got to be right,
Lord
If I die tomorrow
I've lived tonight
Hey, Dogg!
Yeah?
Uh, you want something to drink?
- Yeah, man.
- What you want?
Uh, bring me some
acidophilus milk.
Shit...
Uh...
Cheers.
You don't even know what's in it
Well...
...I'll see.
Why's it so fucking quiet
out here?
I still like it
It's still good
I still like it
I return to find you waiting
After I've been gone so long
Is that Shorty over there?
Whoo!
I was born blue
Another day has come and gone
In a world
Where I don't belong
Another day has passed me by
And it's not because
I didn't try
Why wasn't I born
With orange skin
And green hair
Like the rest of the people
In the world?
I was born blue
Ladies and Gentlemen,
without any further ado,
I'm proud to present to you,
none other than Swamp Dogg!
Um...
I started putting out
records in uh...
1960...
...1954!
Yeah, I put out one record.
Hey baby...
I got it on the radio.
I was popular in school.
But I was only opening up
at one place.
A place called
Sunset Lake Park,
which was
the Black beach.
We weren't allowed to go
in your water.
I was touring around
when I was 14, 15.
For some reason at that time
I know you can't look at me
and tell it now,
but I was cute.
So I was opening up
for a lot of people
from Norfolk and Portsmouth,
Newport News, Virginia.
There was an old boy down there
named Leroy Little.
You know, he'd fool people.
He would put a show together...
on the placard,
instead of saying "B.B. King,"
it would say "B. King."
People would be demanding
their money back.
Leroy'd say,
"I'm gonna give
you your money,"
and start beating the shit
out of ya.
You know?
Leroy booked us on a show.
He had this nigga dressed
in a gorilla costume.
Oh, lord.
This gorilla comes out, right?
Man, one nigga jumped up
and stabbed that gorilla.
He didn't kill him though.
In 1964,
Little Jerry Williams
had his first taste of success
with "I'm the Lover Man."
Black people didn't like it
and I could understand it,
'cause I wrote it
for Frankie Valli.
But, in the meantime...
...the record just takes off.
Let me introduce myself
I'm the Loverman...
That was my first hit record.
It was only played
on White stations.
I was like,
number one in
Vermont or some...
I mean,
somewhere it was cold as hell,
and wasn't no Blacks.
Some guy booked me
up there, right?
I was supposed to do two shows.
When I finished singing,
the promoter called me over,
he said, "Look here man,
I thought you was White?"
You know,
I took the money and left.
I mean, wasn't...
wasn't nothing to say.
I mean, how do you argue that?
He thought I was White.
I thought I was Black.
Here's where
we have all our parties
and so forth.
Getting rid of all this shit.
I don't know who did this.
Guitar Shorty did this.
Put a bumper up there.
I don't know
what the hell he think.
My buddy,
Norman Whitfield,
he put that up for me,
bless his heart.
Now, the motherfucker
look like it's going fall down
and decapitate everybody.
This is basically
our work room, our laboratory,
our... our everything.
This is where we do it all.
My partner, Moogstar,
I can say, "Man,
I wanna do such and such...
uh, but I can't do it
unless the piano's
on top of the house."
He'll put the piano
on top of the house,
you know, if it's necessary.
When I had my
kitchen remodeled,
a lot of this stuff fell off
the truck.
They're more economical
that way.
I love TV,
so I got three televisions
here in the kitchen.
Up in the corners,
up in the corners.
All of 'em tuned
to the same station.
Swamp's not joking,
he loves television.
Look at that, look at that.
You might have seen
him on Politically Incorrect...
Mike Judge's
Tales from the Tour Bus...
Excuse me.
The TV version
of High Fidelity...
I will now sell five copies
of Love, Loss, and Auto-Tune
by Swamp Dogg.
Maybe you saw him
on The People's Court.
This is
the defendant, Jerry Williams.
He's accused of going silent.
He was guilty.
So I find
that he is owed the money.
And I am gonna order you
to pay him
what I think
is a very reasonable amount.
Good luck, folks.
So Swamp's well known.
Even Doug Llewellyn
was familiar.
You're Swamp Dogg?
Is that your professional name?
- Yes. Yes.
- Is that right?
I'm not... If you'll turn
around a little bit, there.
I'm... I'm not familiar...
What... what do you do...
on the... on... on the tracks?
I just hafta
Always stay plastered
On Sal-A-Faster
From Al-A-Massa
They grow it under
A yum-yum tree
When I'm plastered
On Sal-A-Faster
I watch the people
All around me
You know I mix it
With my tea
Chamomile, Swamp Dogg style
I just have to
always be plastered
On Sal-A-Faster
From Al-A-Massa...
In 1970, I became Swamp Dogg.
I needed an alter ego.
A dog could get away
with almost anything.
You know, he can try to jump
in your lap
while you're eating,
and chew up your shoes,
and hump your leg.
I mean I was just doing
what they considered
"wild shit."
- So, Swamp?
- Yeah?
So, you're the real Dogg, right?
Yep!
Nobody wanted
to be named "Dogg."
- Come on?
- Nobody.
Matter of fact they wanna fight
if you call them a dog.
Yeah!
"Jerry Williams"
just seemed too soft.
Ladies and gentlemen,
here he is...
" ...Jerry Williams."
And it's... It's a soft name.
I needed a protector.
You know how the little guy
hang out with the big guy
and the big guy kicks ass
for him?
Well, that's what
Swamp Dogg was.
He was my ass kicker.
What Swamp Dogg truly was about
being somebody else
while I look for Jerry Williams.
While you looked
for Jerry Williams?
Uh-huh, 'cause I had lost him
somewhere along the line.
Oops, am I getting
the microphone messed up here?
The mic? Does it sound okay
in the control room?
'Cause I hear mostly
keyboards out here.
Fine.
- That's all I hear too.
- Thank you.
Hi, I'm Art Fein.
This is Lil Art's Poker Party
coming to you from Santa Monica,
with, uh...
stars bigger than Hollywood has.
Because this is my favorite guy
in the world.
Uh, this is Swamp Dogg.
Swamp, welcome to the show.
Thank you, Art!
Glad to see you, man.
Oh, I'm glad to see you.
It's good to be here
on the show.
This is the brand new
Swamp Dogg album.
Yeah.
Of course, you changed your name
to Swamp Dogg
- somewhere along the way.
- Yeah, 1970.
- You were Little Jerry.
- This is the story of my life.
Let me go through
these albums for a sec.
They all seem to have stickers
that say things
like 38 cents on them.
- Yeah.
- But it don't matter
'cause the best music
is often the least expensive.
Oh, most definitely.
These are just gold
and platinum...
accomplishments.
You want this light on?
- Yeah, that's fine.
- Okay.
In here...
...is my manager's bedroom.
I got five daughters, but...
this is the main one.
Do a little dance, Jeri.
- Do a little dance?
- Yeah.
That's Jeri.
She's going to be a doctor
She's 17.
I'm very fortunate today
to have the actual brain
of Swamp Dogg,
aka my father.
Jeri, Jeri
Aside from the small
vessel ischemic changes
like here and so forth,
uh, it's actually a pretty good
looking brain for his age.
My father had me
when he was in his thirties.
Growing up with him as a father
has always been amazing.
Super hardworking, dedicated,
he may have gigs or whatever,
but they were there for me
when I played my sports,
there for me
when I won my awards.
He was never an absentee dad.
He was able to, sort of,
consolidate all
of those things.
And I still think to this day,
you know,
I know he took off time
to raise me.
Sometimes I feel bad,
'cause I think, well,
he was just,
you know, in his heyday
and doing so well in the '70s,
like he could have just kept on
going,
and touring, and touring.
And he just put that...
sort of, to the side.
Remain seated please.
Boy, oh, boy.
You got a lot of people
in this house with you, man.
Yeah, I know it.
I thought you was a bachelor.
I thought you just...
I did too!
- What happened, man?
- Guitar Shorty...
He, uh... he...
he was in Texas,
and him and his old lady
broke up.
He called me and said,
"Look here man,
you got a lot of room there,
can I stay at your place
for a few weeks?"
I said, "Yeah, man, shit, yeah."
'Cause I mean,
I know how it feel
not to have a place to live
and all that.
He's been here over 18 years.
Merry Christmas
to Guitar Shorty.
Merry Christmas, Swamp Dogg!
And I don't charge no rent.
- What?
- I don't charge no rent.
Oh, so you got any free rooms?
Yeah, I got one.
You need another roommate?
Hell, no.
All right.
Well, how about... All right.
How about you kick Shorty out
and I'll get Shorty's room?
I couldn't do it
'cause he's got a heart
as big as that pool.
So now, I got the trailer
hooked up and now I'm...
I'm happy.
He's kind of a secret guy.
It's like living with someone
who works for the CIA.
They've got secrets
they can't tell you.
Shorty also is the resident,
uh, mechanic.
The man can do, you know,
fix a Mercedes, a Cadillac,
a Nissan, whatever.
It's... it's amazing.
Just gets right under the car,
goes from there,
then goes to his gigs.
We understand
the circumstances.
One get in a jam and need help,
we all get in there together.
That's the only way
you gonna do it.
We all work together.
- Guitar Shorty.
- Yeah.
- How you doing?
- Man...
We're very close.
Yeah.
Roommates
Roommates, ooh
Roommates, ooh
Roommates, ooh, ooh
Roommates...
Well, the house is...
it's kind of interesting.
I like to call it "the bachelor
pad for musicians."
Um, aging musicians.
Ha ha ha ha.
I like it because it keeps
my father company.
He's still doing his music.
He, you know, many times,
they'll go in the studio
and jam together,
they're producing
all sorts of folks,
and, uh, it's just
a great vibe.
Go, Shorty!
Uh-oh! Look out now!
So you've just got a bunch
of creative people together,
just living together,
and keeping each other going.
So it's... it's quite nice.
Roommates
Oh shit.
Paint the pool
Paint the pool
One hour
Two hours
Gon' paint the pool
Paint the pool
So, what part of the industry
you haven't done?
You've been...
you've been a writer,
man, you... you're an artist,
you publishing.
I just like it.
It's like a nigga
who likes to cook...
You know, you go in there
and cook a pie.
You can make a cake.
You cook a ham, you know.
But he's enjoying it all.
- Yeah.
- You know?
Plus it... it gives you
more angles to work from.
And I like to work!
I'm tired of working...
Swamp has written,
arranged, produced,
and performed
an estimated 2000 songs.
He's worked
with hundreds of artists
on nearly 500 albums.
He's released 26 as Swamp Dogg.
I've done everything
Now there's nothing else
You are the dog
But I got to do the barking
All by myself...
His career
really took off in 1967.
When he wrote his first
top 20 hit.
You wrote and produced
a Gene Pitney song.
- Right!
- Can you do that?
I got another heartbreaker
I think so.
I got another heartbreaker
On my hands
Girl, I can't stand up to you
And be a normal man
I had no money.
Any money I made
went towards my wife,
my kids, my aunt,
once every two weeks
or something.
I could send
like 50 dollars home.
I was staying
at the Henry Hudson Hotel,
which was nothing
but entertainers.
It was like 20-something
dollars a week.
- And I got behind on that.
- You know. God damn!
Just count the days
I'm gone
1-2-3-4-5-6-7...
I had the star
musicians in
New York loving me.
Chuck Rainey on bass,
Herbie Lovelle on drums.
Eric Gale...
Hello?
Yeah?
I'm in the middle
of an interview.
Call me later.
Bye.
...Eric Gale on guitar,
me on piano.
And that was my rhythm section.
And we was badder
than anything out there.
Count the days
1-2-3-4-5-6-7...
I went over
to Atlantic Records.
They were
the only company around
that didn't have a Black
A&R man.
We had a lot of Black producers,
but no one on staff.
And the NAACP and everybody
was coming down on them
for this.
And I didn't know I was part of
a political thing
that they were doing.
So they just gave me a lot
of acts, they gave me a list,
and so I said, "Yeah, okay.
I'll cut Patti LaBelle.
"I'd love to cut Patti LaBelle.
I'll cut the Commodores."
I didn't think nothing
of the Commodores.
They said, hey,
here's a bunch of acts
we're getting ready
to kick out into the street,
if you wanna cut some of 'em.
Have a ball!
They gave me 500 dollars
a week.
Shit.
Gary U.S. Bonds
and I went to Miami.
First thing we did,
we moved in the Four Seasons,
was a two bedroom suite.
I had a convertible
Lincoln Continental.
And Gary had a convertible
Cadillac, right?
We didn't cut no music yet.
We were smoking grass
and drinking liquor.
All the bills going back
to Atlantic.
So I eventually got fired
from Atlantic.
Deliberately.
By this time people
are coming to
me for production.
A lot of them wanted me
to play piano.
I was who automatically
could give you that groove.
Whatever I played,
that was the groove!
No need in crying
'Cause you see me talking
No need denying no, no
You know the great thing
about Swamp Dogg,
he is great at writing
from a woman's point of view.
How do you even...
how can you get
into the woman's psyche?
How is that possible?
I can think more like a woman
than I can like a man.
I really can.
My mother and my father
were musicians.
And they were always
on the road.
So my aunts basically raised me
in a house
that had a bunch
of strong women,
and they loved me,
but they'd kick a man's ass.
All that Doris Duke stuff
"To the Other Woman,
I'm the Other Woman."
Everybody calls
me stupid...
A record like Doris Duke
sold well over a million.
Oh, I was just
a terrific motherfucker,
you know.
But a whole lot of shit I did,
I didn't know
I was supposed to get paid,
so I didn't.
That's funny.
I went to college.
The whole nine yards.
But...
I said,
"This don't mean nothing."
My mind was on making records.
And I had promised myself
and God,
I wasn't going to do
nothing else in life.
But make records.
Records.
I just have to...
- Hello!
- Hi!
Aw, shit.
We gotta rent a hotel room.
I went into the studio
down in Macon, Georgia.
Capricorn, Otis Redding,
The Allman Brothers,
Lynyrd Skynyrd,
I knew all these guys.
Oh, he'd do an album
in just a few days.
I mean, he was... he was in,
and he was out.
He could get a lot of music
for a small amount of bucks.
They were the fastest
recorded records
we ever did here.
That was that Macon,
Georgia scene.
Swamp Dogg style
At the same time,
Swamp found even
greater success in the
musical hotbed
of Muscle Shoals, Alabama.
I'd never heard
of Muscle Shoals.
But Muscle Shoals was bringing
something that I liked,
which was like Country
and Blues together.
That's the shit.
Whoa...
I became
a millionaire down there.
Everything was wide open
for me.
I had a houseboat.
Had a plane.
Everything was first class.
But I didn't play it right.
I started doing things
without analyzing them.
I was taking Zoloft
like you eat M&Ms.
I thought motherfuckers
were trying to trick me
and kill me, you know.
Lord, Lord, Lord
I didn't know
what success
was supposed to feel like.
I just thought
the world would become mine.
I just went all the way.
I bought a Rolls-Royce.
Man, I had nine fucking cars.
Now, who needs nine cars?
I wanted to be grand, but...
that's not what it's about.
Very profound.
This is, uh,
Lil Art's Poker Party
coming to you from Hollywood
with some pretty groovy guests.
Third or fourth time in,
Jerry Williams.
I already introduced you though.
I'm doing this all
out of order.
Well, it's good
to see you, Jerry.
It's great to see you, Art.
Yeah, man.
And, uh, let me introduce
your beautiful wife, Yvonne.
- Hi.
- Yvonne, welcome to the show.
It's nice to see you here, too.
I met Yvonne,
we got married in '63.
She learned, um,
the music business
along with me.
We both learned together.
Most of all
the amazing things I did.
She mapped them out,
made phone calls,
sent out telexes, and shit.
Basically,
he did all of the creative,
wonderful things that he does.
And she was behind the scenes
making sure it happened,
and making sure
it was lucrative,
sifting through the best deals,
looking out for the shysters.
She was the muscle, okay?
She was a gangster.
She didn't play, okay?
She'd kick ass, talk shit,
and back it up.
Would you stop seeing someone
if they had a pet
that you couldn't stand?
Stand up.
They're saying that the pet
is more important than I am.
- Has that ever happened to you?
- No, it hasn't.
But if it did,
he could just hit the road.
Okay.
She's a little taller than him.
There was that Barney Rubble,
Betty Rubble thing, okay?
She was the big one.
When she barked,
everybody shut up.
Including him.
Her role
in my father's career
was beyond instrumental.
She basically was his manager,
his financial guru,
you name it. She was brilliant.
She definitely broadened
his horizons
and came up
with a lot of great ideas
as far as making the company
bigger and better.
I consider myself
one of the luckiest
motherfuckers in the world.
Sitting on a cornflake
Riding on a roller skate
Too late to hesitate
Or even meditate
Always looking up what's down
They come to get me
From the lost and found
But believe me I'm doing fine
And to the world
I'll toast some wine
And then I'll do...
Total destruction...
To your mind
Trials, and tribulations...
Misuse, and...
Aggravation
It was me
Who you stepped upon
Me who you look down on
I was there to watch you
Playing game
Now, I've learned
To do the same
Now, I'm on your case
Looking you square
In the face
And just as sure
As the sun is going shine
Shine, shine, shine, shine
I'm going to do
Total destruction...
Total destruction...
Total destruction to your mind
Don't get too close
to the edge, Shorty.
Don't get too close
to the edge.
You can swim, can't you?
Not in them shoes.
He can swim a little bit.
With them shoes
gonna drag him down
to the bottom of the water.
This is Northridge,
the porn capital
of the fuckin' world.
Damn, near every house out here,
they shooting porn.
- Yeah!
- Ain't no furniture
in these houses.
I used
to wanna be, uh, a... a grip
until I found out
how much they had to lift.
I thought that would be cool.
"What do you do?" "I'm a grip."
It's better to be a gripper
than a fluffer.
- What's a fluffer?
- What is a fluffer?
Porn man!
When you in porn,
the person that come
to get you ready...
- Oh!
- ...before you do the thing.
- They jack your dick?
- Yeah.
Uh...
How long y'all been
in show business?
I haven't been
in that show business.
You know,
you gotta be prepped
before you go in.
You get it?
I didn't understand
a goddamn thing.
Shorty had his eyes closed
a second ago,
but I didn't want to interrupt
what you was saying.
Oh, he's meditating.
You got on some socks
says "Suck my dick?"
I like that!
Where'd you get those, man?
- Why, you want a pair?
- Yeah, I want a pair!
All right, I'll get you a pair.
Oh, man!
You don't see no messages
on socks!
We gonna open that...
That's my friend.
Make sure you get his feet.
See? He got White folks feet.
This is Guitar Shorty's room.
You go in there,
uh, at your own risk.
Uh,
this is my living room.
Used to be bigger...
until Moogstar...
took it over
with his green screen...
but we get good use
out of it, so...
I'm not complaining.
That's my man.
Well, Moogstar
has so much talent.
He's the only person I know
who can play
any instrument well!
Not just can play it,
but play it well.
It's just crazy.
Like, anything he sets
his mind to do,
he can do it.
Hangin out with the owls
All night
Ooh...
Moogstar...
M-O-O-G S-T-A-R.
I am like a satellite.
Not from this planet...
but I am here...
...amongst you all.
I'm gonna
have to funk you all down!
Are we recording?
Yeah, it's recording.
Let you in on a lil' of this.
Let me do that over again.
Okay.
Don't copyright that.
Okay, you want me...
First door and to the left...
Star Village.
Welcome to my "lablomatory."
This is where I hang out.
Sleep right there.
Me, and my animals,
and my mask, and, uh...
all the animals are my friends.
You know, we get to go
way back in time.
See, look at all that.
This was the baby, man,
I... I'll never forget.
I played it
all over the place, man.
And I took it to church,
and I never s...
seeing how the people
was acting crazy,
and they was doin'
the funky worm,
and they started doing
all kinds of shit.
And I was doing all...
I was just getting the feel
of it then.
But I feel the spirit
and I just go into these runs.
'Cause, you know, the church
got Christ, they rolling.
And they be dancing like in a...
in a... in a club,
and, you know, in a house club,
you know, I mean they be gone!
Fast! You know...
The funky worm!
And now I start doing this
crazy funky shit and all that.
And they were like, "Whoa!"
I was able to listen
to secular music by sneaking,
by listening to it on the side,
and, oh,
with a little transistor radio,
you know, and go outside,
or go somewhere
where I feel I'm protected
without my dad being around.
'Cause, boy,
he believed in whooping you. Oh!
He'd whoop our ass.
I wasn't able to really,
like, get into it,
like go to a concert
or... or anything, like,
you know, have my own CDs,
and records,
and, you know, all of that.
So I could study it and...
and really get into it.
I didn't get that.
But I felt the music. I felt it.
I knew the music...
I can relate to any music.
Don't matter what it is.
I love music. It's in me.
My grandfather taught me
how to stand on my head,
but I was always scared
after I did it.
Hey, Swamp! How are you doing?
I don't know who it is.
Good to see you, neighbor.
What's happening? Man!
That's some crazy stuff
up there.
It's always strange
things happening here,
you know that.
You keep up with the news?
The FBI?
Suddenly, they're the good guys.
They were looking at you
at one point.
Uh-huh.
- Oh yeah. But that was...
That was around the time
that Lennon
and people like Groucho Marx,
you know, they were on a...
- List.
- ...list.
Yeah, they're all on the list.
They were just, uh, subversives,
- you know.
- Yeah.
I want to hear about that.
- Yeah.
- That was 1970... 71.
Seemed like I did
all my crazy shit
right around then.
Uh,
I was,
you know, singing songs about...
the president that weren't...
complimentary.
I joined up with Jane Fonda.
- Hmm.
- And they hated her.
Right.
The FBI came, and asked me
a whole bunch of questions,
and the only thing
they could get
was something
about me stealing a car.
At that time,
I had nine automobiles.
The hell
I'm gonna steal a car for?
And I'm forgetting
what I'm saying.
Mr. Wiggles was,
uh, a little gangster.
He was a real gangster, I guess,
'cause he shot
a couple of people.
Mr. Wiggles?
Tom was hoping
that Swamp
would have kept telling him
the story about touring around
with Jane Fonda.
Here's what we
would've learned.
In 1971, the Vietnam War
was still ongoing.
What is it that... that...
Jane Fonda
and other anti-war activists
decided to form
an entertainment group
that would fly in the face
of Bob Hope and his revues.
The traveling show
was called FTA,
or Free The Army.
The soldiers know
what FTA means,
um, it means one
particular thing to them,
we say it means
Free The Army,
and, um...
It meant Fuck The Army.
They visited military bases
around the United States
and the Pacific Rim.
Other members of the group
included Donald Sutherland,
Dick Gregory,
and for a while, Swamp Dogg.
We put on our show, there was
a group called Swamp Dogg,
a marvelous rock group.
They sang songs like
"God Bless America for What."
His radical political views
got him placed
on the FBI's watch list,
and dropped
from Elektra Records.
God bless America
Since Martin died
Nothing has changed
In a country like this
People living in the street
A damn shame
There's not a paragraph
Supposed to help them
In the constitution
We need a revolution
These are the type of songs
that kept me
from being too popular.
Yeah.
You wanna know what happened
to my career?
Songs like "Eat the Goose."
"I've Never Been To Africa."
"Call Me Nigger."
"Mighty Mighty Dollar Bill."
Yeah! I keep singing them.
Yeah!
Could you turn up
the applause meter right there?
God, that's great, Jerry.
That's great, Swamp.
Your career has kind of been,
uh... up and down.
Yes, it has.
Lots of down.
- Lots of down?
- Lots of downs.
But yet you're loved
throughout the world.
Yes, it's... it's, well...
It's a very interesting
phenomenon.
I've noticed you're never
on the same label twice.
No, no.
Uh, they... they get their fill
of me after one time around.
I was signed
to Virgin Records in '96?
Yeah.
This is the new album.
It's going to live up
to all that we were expecting.
- I certainly hope so.
- It fucking better!
I had lunch made
for everybody at Virgin,
and we had like, you know,
ribs, sausage, potato salad,
that type of thing.
That was...
the same week
that I had circumcision.
Boy, you talk about some hurt!
You got circumcised? In '96?
Yeah.
Why so late?
I didn't feel
that I needed it, my wife did.
And she wasn't never wrong.
This is my...
garage, but...
I turned it into...
my SDEG Records warehouse.
Swamp Dog Entertainment Group.
That's SDEG.
That's how we're listed
with the IRS
on their list of people
that they getting ready
to put in jail.
Call 800-777-DOGG.
That's 800-777-D-O-G-G.
I put out all kinds of records.
Soul compilations, um, Country,
Jackson 5 and Johnny.
And everybody always asks
uh, "Who the hell is Johnny?"
One of the most exciting ones
was a thing
called Beatle Barkers,
and it was Beatles songs
being sung by dogs,
cats, and cattle.
"Beatle Barkers"!
Enjoy again
all your Beatles favorites,
sung... did I say sung?...
as only they could be.
By chickens, cattle,
dogs, and sheep!
Record did good.
I sold 30,000 cassettes
to a pet supplier in Spain.
You know,
Yvonne's your collaborator,
- your wife.
- Yeah.
She helps
write songs, produces,
- I mean everything, right?
- Right.
You got a rap record out too?
Sure, we have two out.
Oh yeah, Daddy D!
We got a guy named Daddy D.
Then I got another album on,
uh... What is it?
- Hustle, Z & M.C. Cool P.
- Hustle, Z & M.C. Cool P!
Oh yeah. We signed this
rap group out of South Carolina.
I didn't know
it was finalized yet,
so I didn't wanna say anything.
Well, we don't quite
have it on paper yet.
Don't stop now
Don't stop now...
Yvonne brought the rappers in.
She's the one who started
a rap section of our company.
Well now the music is pumping
So get out your seat...
And she started managing
some DJs and rappers.
And I thought she was wasting
her time,
but we had a little money,
so go with it.
To the beat, y'all
In 1991,
Swamp and Yvonne released
a hip hop classic,
M.C. Breed's
"Ain't No Future
in Yo Frontin."
Check it out!
We took him
from nothin' to somebody.
We sold a million on him.
Sound good to me
This sound hard...
I had artists
that sell 100,
200 thousand 12-inches,
and never appear on the charts.
They'd just skip over
rap artists.
In the '80s,
I started managing
the World Class Wreckin' Cru,
which at that time had Dr. Dre,
Yella, Lonzo Williams.
Swamp was my professor,
my mentor.
Now, Dre, and Yella,
and all these guys
are right next to me,
and none of us knew anything
about anything
when it came
to the record business.
He taught me how to sustain
in bad times.
He was an artist
that owned his own label.
They told me,
I couldn't do that.
Swamp Dogg told me, I could.
Swamp's been known
around the West Coast.
Even Calvin was familiar.
Yeah, I know who Swamp Dogg is.
OG.
Oh, no, he didn't.
Look at the swamper.
He pulled up with a rat
on a chain, man!
He's a fool, man.
He's a fool killer.
I've been affiliated with rats
ever since I did an album
called Rat On!
I've had more
publicity to this album
than I have...
any other album I've had.
And the reason
is because instead
of just being a...
ratty rat...
he's smiling.
Swamp Dogg ridin' the rat?
Well, you know what?
That picture how dumb I was.
I say, "Swamp Dogg,
where you find a rat
that big to get on?"
He told me, "Oh, man,
they got... they get 'em
down there at the zoo."
"Gotta go to the special spot,
they got the big rats."
I'm... I'm thinking
it was real shit, okay?
I didn't know
it was photo magic!
Then he had another one.
Him in a hot dog.
I just want to be inside...
of a hot dog.
That's my favorite food.
This was done in '82.
They put this cover on,
with this dog eating my butt.
And I was going to sue 'em
and my wife said,
"You know, you're going
to look like a fool in court."
I said, "Why?"
She said, "All them crazy albums
that you have done yourself..."
Salt salty dog
C'mon now! Salt salty dog
Salty dog
C'mon, everybody
Sing with me
One more time
"...You can't win with this,"
she said,
"It ain't really that bad."
Hanging around Swamp Dogg,
I see
what being original is like.
He don't give a fuck
about none of that shit, okay?
He do Swamp Dogg all the time.
Don't be afraid
to step outside the box.
- Try something different, man!
- Right.
You know,
try something different.
Put a...
put a banjo on your shit.
That's right.
Okay, try a banjo
on some hip-hop.
That's that creativity
that they don't teach you.
- You have to just do it.
- Yeah, you got to do it.
"If You
Can Kill It I Can Cook It."
Featuring Moogstar
and The Ingredients.
Swamp Dogg, Dizzy Fae.
"If You Can Kill It
I Can Cook It,"
the new cookbook
written for you by Swamp Dogg,
legendary musician,
entertainer, and now, chef!
Hey, y'all!
It's your girl, Dizzy Fae.
Welcome to If You Can Kill It...
- ...I Can Cook It!
- Absolutely.
Let me introduce you
to our chef, Swamp Dogg.
Thank you.
Makes me feel so good.
So, Swamp,
what are we making today?
- We're makin' cheesecake.
- Ooh!
Moogstar does not eat cheese.
- Swamp, this looks amazing.
- It looks great.
Give it up
for our lucky audience member.
Jesse! Where did he come from?
Is he gonna eat the whole cake?
- "If You Can Kill It
- I Can Cook It,"
the cookbook
50 years in the making!
Swamp Dogg turned
to writing this cookbook
for family and friends
to get him through
the turbulent times of life,
and you can too.
Call 1-866-DOGG-FUD.
That's 1-866-D-O-G-G-F-U-D.
Call now.
That video grabbed my attention
right from the beginning.
I not only felt that this video
had the most original concept
I have ever seen.
I give it five Jeris!
You got a lot of hair.
That... that's...
That's really my hair.
Wow.
That's really something, man.
This show has taken
another dimension.
So, uh, where do...
where do you base yourself now?
You're based in Los Angeles?
No, I'm out in The Valley,
Woodland Hills.
L.A., I mean,
you're out here in California.
You were working
with Ray Charles, right?
You were playing guitar
with his band?
Yeah. I didn't get a chance
to record with him.
I think if I stayed
with him I would have.
Mm-hmm.
I didn't stay. I left Ray
after we got to New Orleans,
and I got cold feet
and I missed my grandmother,
and I wanted to go back home,
so I just got nervous.
This is a hard life, baby
You can't live it
By yourself
You're working
300 days a year
or something like that,
traveling all over the world.
Was it always that way for you?
Been on the road
most of your life?
Music has played
a big part in my life.
That's... that's what
I always wanted to be.
And there's been
some tough times for me.
I did mechanic work,
and do music at night.
So I finally took a look
at myself and I said,
"Boy, I might as well just go
all the way with the music."
Let's welcome
now a singing truck driver
from Houston, Texas
truckin' his way
into our hearts.
It's Guitar Shorty! Yeah!
The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
Oh, you know
You done me wrong, baby
But you'll be sorry someday
Our winner is with 30 points,
Guitar Shorty! Yahoo!
Guitar Shorty!
Moogstar begs
for someone to slap him
so he can find out
if it's a dream or reality.
Sorry, Moog!
It could have been
just another case of the...
Snooze Blues
Snooze Blues
We go to Montana to do a gig.
Right after it was over,
I was approached
by these people.
This lady walked up to me
and said,
"We're going to the, uh,
Evel Knievel's graveyard."
"Could you go with us?"
I asked the other band members,
nobody wanted to go.
"We ain't going."
"We don't want to go.
We don't want to go."
I just said,
"Fuck it, let's go."
Then we got into these cars
and we going down,
ridin' like Scooby Doo,
you know what I mean?
Going to the cemetery,
you know, with the lights on,
they shinin' on the graves.
We pulled up to it, you know,
and there was this
beautiful grave there.
Started taking pictures.
We was all taking pictures.
"Moogstar,
why don't you put the suit on?"
I was like, "What?
Put the suit on?"
So I put it on!
And I was like, "Man,
what if I was like that guy?"
Because I had a fear...
Fear.
As an artist, always been there.
I mean, this cat
he'd get on a lawnmower, man,
and ride and go jump 50 cars.
You know, ain't scared
to jump a canyon,
break all his bones
and do all kinds of shit.
Now, I don't want
to break no bones. Get me right.
But I want that
"not to be afraid" shit.
So, anyway we had
a professional opera singer,
she was there
and she starts singing
and she was like, "Whoa!"
"I want the spirits
to come through
and give Moogstar the mantle
to keep going."
Will be channeled
Through Moogstar!
I can feel it
I was like,
"What the fuck is they doing?"
Anyway, I'm just going with it.
I'm rolling, just having fun.
And I went by the grave
to bend down.
I just wanted
to thank the spirits
because I want
this man's spirit,
I want his guts.
And, when I did that...
...they said,
"Did you see that?"
And then here come this owl,
this big white owl.
That was really strange.
So, I tried to tell people
about what happened
when we left, you know,
because it went on,
they were filming,
doing some other stuff
that night, some crazy stuff.
I mean, naked lady at
McDonald's in a waterfall.
I mean, we were just doing
all kinds of crazy stuff
that night.
So... so...
...I come back home.
When we got here...
that night...
that owl showed up.
That same white...
We don't have no owls
in this neighborhood, okay?
That sucker showed up.
Everybody ran out the room
cause they heard this owl
goin'...
And I looked up there
and there's this big
white owl again
sitting in the tree up there.
I was like, "What the hell
is going on here?"
We didn't understand
what was happening,
but I feel it!
I believe,
and I don't know who it is,
but that owl is here
to protect us
and it's also here to guide us.
It's the light that we need.
You put on Evel Knievel's suit
and a naked woman
come out of it,
and... and... and...
an owl followed you home?
I ain't the only one
seen the owl.
When Mike Judge came here,
that same owl appeared.
Yeah, it was up...
It was like up, uh...
- Yeah.
- ...in one of these palm trees.
- Yeah, yeah. There.
I couldn't see very well,
but it was...
- You could hear it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- He's big.
You getting
into Nashville,
songwriting stuff,
was that in the '70s or...
Yeah, I would have
a lot of songs with me,
and lotta producers
would want to know,
"Hey, man,
what'd you bring down?"
"What you got?"
At that time,
we weren't looking at my stuff
as country stuff.
- Right.
- It was just...
Swamp's doing some stuff.
"Don't Take Her,
She's All I Got."
That was such a huge hit
for Paycheck.
Well, I said, friend
Don't take her
She's all I've got
Please don't take
Her love away from me
A bunch of different versions
- made it into...
- Oh, man.
Conway Twitty.
Friend
Don't take her
She's all I've got
- Tanya Tucker? Yeah.
- Tanya Tucker.
She did the shit out of it.
Don't take him
He's all I got
The United States Navy Band.
Friend, don't...
It was a hit in the '90s.
It enabled me
to go somewhere...
that I'd always wanted to go.
Even though I was only
allowed to visit.
I wasn't allowed to live there.
And I got the number one
country record.
At that time,
it was still kind of
weird down there, in 1972.
And when I went down,
and they found out I was Black.
And first of all,
when I got to the awards,
I was ushered
through the kitchen because...
they thought I was a waiter,
although I had ju...
I stepped out
of a fucking limousine.
Then again, maybe the waiters
ride in limousines down there.
I don't know.
One, two, three, four...
Good morning, gentlemen.
- Good morning, Swamp.
- That was horrible.
Well,
that's 'cause you weren't here
- to help us out.
- That's why I rushed over.
We need your presence.
If you don't
Believe I'm leavin'
Just count the
days I'm gone
You gotta have a little
argument thing
goin' on in your voice.
There'll be
a blue Monday...
Just kind of...
kind of blues it up.
And if you don't
Believe I'm leavin'
Just count the
days I'm gone
Yeah
Yeah, that's nice.
It's got heart.
A woman needs care
- Love and protection
- Love and protection
I could never find you
When I needed affection
Needed affection
- If you don't
- Count the days
- Believe I'm leavin'
- Count the days
Just count the
days I'm gone
One, two, three, four
Five, six, seven
Oh, you won't
Have the chance
Again to treat me wrong
It's been a
long time coming
And it'll be a long
Long time gone
Bluegrass to me
is like the blues.
Everybody owns it.
It's not one
set of people that own it.
And every time you say
"bluegrass,"
some son of a bitch say,
"Yahoo!" Ya know?
And uh, you know, fuck that.
If I'm lucky...
I got 20 more years here.
But who gets lucky?
You know?
So, I've got some stuff...
I want to leave...
for people to hear
and know what I was...
about.
Yeah, I'd like to see ya.
I ain't seen ya in so long.
Oh, boy.
What is Swamp Dogg's
philosophy on life?
Overall...
just be cool.
You know?
And it's all so fun...
being yourself.
That's fun like a motherfucker.
But you got to find yourself.
- Oh, Jesse?
- Yeah?
That was that.
Wow.
That looks great, Swamp Dogg!
- You like that?
- That's amazing.
How long you been
working on that?
Um...
Swamp Dogg wants to know
when the fuck
you're gonna have it wrapped up?
So, did any
of your record companies
you were with, or the labels
you were with over the years,
when you came up with a concept,
did anyone fight you back on it?
Or they just let you do what...
Hell yeah!
Did you usually win out?
Well,
gettin' kicked off Elektra,
would that be a win?
I did a small portion of LSD
for a while.
And the first time I had LSD
it was slipped on me.
I wake up...
at night...
screaming.
And I'd wrap myself
around my wife.
She said I was squeezing,
squeezing, squeezing.
And my anxiety
became worse and worse.
And doctors and psychiatrists,
they hadn't gotten
into depression
and anxiety attacks and shit.
That's how you lived
for a while, right?
For a few years. It got bad.
Mine got real bad.
I guess you'd had
episodes before that,
that you would
get really worked up
and start spinning a little?
I used to have like...
at least five im...
- imaginary heart attacks a day.
- Oh, wow.
What I did is built
a little world around me.
I had this big,
8,000 square foot home
in Long Island.
Nine automobiles.
Everything I bought was supposed
to make me feel better.
Right.
I did not feel any better.
Was music, uh,
a safe place for you?
Could you... If you ever got
in that situation,
could you listen to music
and you would calm down or...
No.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Swamp Dogg!
A man named
Swamp Dogg is here.
Welcome to the show,
first of all.
Good to see you.
It's nice to have
you here and, uh...
It's nice to be had.
Darlin'
There's nothin' sweeter
You make me scream
You make me bawl
You make me feel
Like I'm ten foot tall
Sugar bum, sugar bum bum
I had really become antiquated
when it came to the music.
What's happenin'?
My body's startin' to shake
That building
Looks like it's
falling on me!
Earthquake!
It happens all the time
We ignore it
In less than a minute
It's gone
You come to L.A.
We're chatting with Swamp Dogg.
I don't know why
I'm having so much difficulty
pronouncing that properly.
For many years,
for some reason,
my father made me believe
that you were dead.
So when I opened my eyes
and I saw you...
...I can't believe
that you are here!
I thank you so much.
And I'm glad that the rumors
of my death are false.
My god.
I'm always hearing
that I'm dead.
Yeah, well,
that would be
very inconvenient for us.
Yes, me too! Especially me!
Oh, we going to get sun today?
Oh yeah!
Oh, I like... I like the sun.
I come out here every day.
I sit for hours. It's healing.
Well, you know,
I was married
seven and a half, eight years.
I had kids.
You know...
My wife left.
I was devastated.
It was a bad situation,
sad situation.
And a friend called me up,
said, uh, he wanted
to go downtown.
Next thing you know, I'm...
gonna be
on this television show.
I didn't realize...
From Oakland, California!
Doing his second HBO Special,
Hanging with Mr. Cooper himself,
Mr. Mark Curry!
They gave us tickets
to go way in the front.
And we sat there
and the show started.
Mark Curry, he came in,
he went on the stage.
And then, all of a sudden...
he said, "Look at this..."
This motherfucker right here!
Oh, shit!
Then motherfucking cameras
came from everywhere.
You can feel the lights
and everything just hit me.
I didn't know
what was happening.
So, he went
to touch my hair, right?
He went to touch it
and I threw my hand up
like one of them
Michael Jackson's fans.
You know what I mean?
This nigga!
What the fuck is this?
Nigga,
we got an alien in here!
This...
...this motherfucker like...
Look at him, he be like
MC Hammer on crack!
So, I didn't know
what was happening.
So I got up.
Mookie? What you do, Mookie?
- I sing and dance.
- You sing... you sing?
I know you must dance!
What kind of dance you do?
Let me see a quick move.
We don't need no music, nigga!
That's you. Use your hands.
I said fuck this shit!
My kids are going to see me
on national TV.
All this shit
going through my mind.
You know what? Fuck this!
I ain't gonna be humiliated!
I'm gonna do something...
I said fuck it.
I just went to the hills, man.
You go up this hill
where the nuclear reactor is...
then go way up the hill.
So I went far!
So nobody can find me.
I had a weapon.
Yeah, I got a gun.
I had the barrel to my head.
I'll never forget that shit.
I said I got all this talent.
Fuckin' do everything,
for... for what?
For what?
So I just didn't want
to be here no more, man.
Said, "Fuck it, man."
I had the adrenaline
and everything was happening
and just a voice came in,
"Who are you to kill yourself
when you don't even own it?"
"Uh, uh!"
"I got something else
for you to do."
It's like I was called
to do something,
you know what I mean?
It's so weird. I can't...
You know, when I'm looking
at it this close, Swamp,
I can't...
I can't see a form at all.
It just looks like
abstract shapes.
- No shit?
- Yeah.
And it just doesn't feel like
it's ever going
to make any sense.
That would drive me
fucking crazy.
There we go.
Hi, this is Jeri,
and I'm kicking back
with my friends,
and it's spring break
at my house.
Welcome to Jeri Williams's
New Music Revue!
The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
Tell 'em, Shorty!
The thrill is gone away
See I told ya,
I like little toy animals.
I got James Brown.
I got all kinds of shit.
Can I play you a cut?
Do a little dance
for me, Yvonne.
"Do a little dance."
Damn!
Spielberg,
eat your fuckin' heart out.
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love...
I love you, yes I do...
Why am I doing this?
I used to do it
to see her smile.
Give me a... give me a smile.
She was the most
magnificent woman in the world.
And I will never get over her.
This is the love of my life.
Yvonne.
Motherfucker.
Well, when we lost Mommy,
a lotta changes...
- Yeah.
- A lot of changes.
Yeah.
I'll pretend
That you're gone
On vacation
And you'll be back
Yvonne was my wife, my life,
my everything,
and I could never get over her.
She was somebody
you believed in.
I... I believed in her.
I believed in her.
To tell me you miss me
And you're coming home soon
And I'll pretend
Your perfume fills the air
She was a good woman.
Very good woman.
She said, um...
"The doctor told me
I ain't gonna have long
to be here."
I said, "I...
I don't want you to go."
She said, "Well...
The doctor said that's it."
"Ain't nothing you
or nobody else can do."
I'll pretend
When I visit
our old friends
The last thing
that we talked about,
she wanted me to stay here
and look over him.
If he want anything,
make sure you take care of him.
I've been here ever since.
In fact, her name's
on that concrete over there.
I can't live like this
Please come back
I can't live like this
People had counted me out
because they hadn't
seen or heard anything.
This generation
is more hip to my stuff
than my generation were.
It was almost like coming back
from the dead.
We're going to bring out
our good friend Swamp Dogg.
- Come on out here, Swamp.
- Here he comes.
Back in 1972,
Swamp scored
one of his biggest hits
with a cover
of John Prine's "Sam Stone."
Sam Stone, welcome home
Didn't last too long
He went to work
After he spent his last dime
Forty years later,
they decided it's finally time
to hit the studio together.
What the fuck was that?
Memories...
Don't leave like people do
And that's why anytime
Anywhere
I want to thank you
for that "Sam Stone," man.
You got it around
to a lot of people, Swamp.
You know, I... I never paid
any attention to the "mmm's."
- I know you didn't.
- Yeah.
I don't do it on my record.
Right.
This is your chance now
to make up for it.
- Damn. Okay.
- Okay.
Sam Stone came home
To his wife and family
After serving
In the conflict overseas
And the time that he served
Had shattered
all his nerves
And left a little shrapnel
In his knee
But the morphine
Eased the pain
The grass grew
Round his brain
And gave him
All the confidence he lacked
- There's a hole
- In daddy's arm
Where all the money goes
And Jesus Christ
Died for nothin' I suppose
Little pitchers
Have big ears
Don't stop
To count the years
Sweet songs
Never last too long
On broken radios
Mmmm...
You did it again, John!
- Just keep doing it.
- Yeah.
Sam Stone's welcome home
Didn't last too long
- You want your hat?
- Huh?
- Want your hat?
- The cap?
- Yep.
- No, I got a hat on.
I got one in the van.
Oh, okay, so want me
to put this in your room?
- Yeah.
- All right, all right.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
I'd sure like
Like to come back
That's a date
I don't wanna miss
Next time
Can't be better than this
Next time
Well, you know,
as you know, Guitar Shorty...
He passed away, um... 4/20.
Time was five o'clock p.m.
Exactly in this bed right here.
He's gone, he's in Heaven
and rejoicing...
with the angels
and the universe.
We grew up in this house
for like 15 years.
Three people, we're like
Three Stooges up in this house.
For years and years and years
of going through the same thing,
same thing,
not knowing who or what,
but learning and hoping
and praying
and just keep creating
and making greatness for people
so you can help people
all the time
'cause that's what we do.
You know, through music,
you know, 'cause we're healers,
you know, manifestors.
We make things happen
out of nothing.
We just... Musically.
Because we're being guided
by the spirits.
Which is a wonderful thing.
Because his spirit is still here
and it's never going to leave.
And it's making visitations
all over the place.
It's going to continue
to do that and grow.
And everything gon' be great.
Are you enjoying
being a legend?
What else can I do?
No, man, I just can't figure
how to get out of this thing.
It's my birthday.
"Dad,
sometimes kids don't get it."
"We don't notice
the little things
that come straight
from a dad's heart."
"I may not be a kid
anymore, Dad...
but I still love the things
you do."
"And I realize
how important it is
I tell you how much...
I love you."
"Happy birthday."
Then she writes, "I love you
and hope we will be able to...
spend many more birthdays...
together."
"Love, Jeri."
She's so sincere.
She's so sweet, so good.
Telling me how much
she loves me, and...
so forth.
Sometimes you need
that kind of stuff.
Yeah.
Lately
I can't breathe
These walls are closing
In on me
This lump in my throat
Gettin' bigger all the time
I'm choking to death
From the ties that bind
Yes I am now...
- Hey, Jeri!
- Yes?
Come here a minute.
Want me help you
with your shoes?
- Yes.
- Sure, no problem.
- You're a doctor.
- Yeah.
Watch a neurologist
put some shoes on.
These are cool!
When did you get these?
Dun dun dun!
Whoa!
Look at the glass slippers!
Tha slippa da dippa! Oh...
Oh, wait...
But wait, where does it stick?
It don't stick.
Yeah it does, there's Velcro.
Yeah, the Velcro.
So what am I doing wrong?
No, no,
it goes around like that.
So we just need
to give him his shirt, right?
- Yeah.
- Well, I've got the shirt.
I don't need y'all no more.
Excuse me!
Looked like you needed us.
Big Party
Big Party
Big Party
She invited me...
Is that Art Fein?
'Cause she knew
You would bring me
Eighty fucking years old.
You don't look...
you don't look a day over 57.
Oh, shit.
Thank you.
Alonzo! My man!
Over here
holdin' court?
I told you I'm coming out
with a bluegrass album?
No.
Yeah,
it's full of banjos and shit.
That's what my problem is.
Whatever it is I wanna do,
I'm gonna do it,
whether you like it or not.
- How ya doing, Moogie?
- Awesome.
- How's your monkey doing?
- He's happy now!
- Happy birthday!
- Thank you!
God damn!
Vernon!
How long we gonna be doing this?
I don't know.
How long you wanna do it?
If this was me,
I would have been excited
to do it for about 3 hours,
and then I woulda
just wanted to hide.
No.
- I don't wanna die.
- Oh.
- Wait, not die! I said "hide."
- I know.
Hide.
You're going crazy
on your 80th, man.
People not doing it like this,
with the shoes, too.
Eightieth birthday.
It kinda sticks
in your throat a little bit.
Swamp Dogg is the official
Great Grandfather
of West Coast hip-hop.
I'm gonna show you
the man's pool right quick.
I don't wanna drop my phone
in the goddamn pool.
Okay, where's the owl?
He's got to be flying
around here.
All right, everybody!
Let's get together and sing.
Happy birthday to Swamp Dogg!
All right?
Happy birthday dear
Swamp Dogg
Happy birthday to you!
Oh yeah, right. Uh...
I forgot
what I was supposed to do.
Speech!
No, um, I appreciate
everybody who's out here.
And I love you.
I'm here for you.
And thank you
for being here for me.
Enjoy!
Buildings blaze in a mist
Draw them each day
Crying sky
All bathed in dust
I'm seeing
your skeleton right now.
Is that what should
be happening?
It just gleamed
Saturn's face sparkling
Silver shadow velvet blue
All of this reminding
Me of you
All of this
Reminding me of you
What do you think, Swamp?
You like it?
I'm crazy about it!
I'm crazy anyway now.
- Say what?
- Huh?
Wow! I love it!
Is, uh, anybody going
to be able to see this
- from the sky?
- I believe so.
Uh...
Well, we've had
a lot of those, uh...
Robot planes.
What do you call them?
- Those drones?
- Yeah, those drones.
Cannonball.
Oh!
Damn!
Jesse made a messy! Ah!
Jesse!
Can't you read that sign?
I didn't get to eat
none of the cheesecake.
Weren't supposed
to eat no cheesecake.
I could at least tasted it.
Well, how come
you didn't go to the table
and cut you a piece?
'Cause you told 'em
on the loud...
everybody,
that I couldn't have any...
Hey, you
I'm up from the bayou
Where wildlife runs free
You might say that I'm country
But let me tell you what I see
Your world is plastic
And I can see through
To the other side
Your cities are made of wood
Antiques are what
You've got inside
Houses are paper
But folks don't hear
A word you say
Friendship's like acid
It just burns...
As it slides away
So, you see
My patience is growin' thin
With this synthetic world
We're livin' in
Strange drugs to keep me blind
Heavy metal music...
To blow my mind
Now I find I'm out of place
If I only have one face
All my friends has
more than two
And no longer must you be you
They found out
how to transplant
"Maybe" has replaced "can't"
So, you see
My patience is growin' thin
With this synthetic world
That we're living in
Think about that.
Um... I mean...
I ain't trying
to be Mark Twain...
but I think I'm just as good
as Mark Twain.
Doing my shit
when he doin' his shit.
I'll leave Mark Twain alone.
Good night, Mark.
Sittin' on a cornflake
Ridin' on a roller skate
Too late to hesitate
Or even meditate
Always lookin' up
What's down
They've come to get me
From the lost and found
But believe me
I'm feelin' fine
To the world
I'll throw some wine
And then I'll do
Total destruction
To your mind, mind
Mind, mind
Total destruction
To your mind
Yeah
Total destruction
To your mind, mind
Mind, mind
Total destruction
To your mind
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Trials and tribulations
Misuse and aggravation
It was me
Who you stepped upon
Me who you looked down on
Stand and watched you
Playin' games
But now
I've learned to do the same
Now, I am on your case
Lookin' you square
In the face
And as sure as the sun
Will shine, shine
Shine, shine, shine
I'm gonna do total
destruction To your mind,
mind, mind, mind
Total destruction
To your mind
Yeah
Total destruction
To your mind
Mind, mind, mind
Total destruction
To your mind
Yeah, mind, yeah, mind
Roommates
Roommates
Oh, roommates
Oh, roommates
Oh, oh, roommates
Oh, oh, roommates
Yeah
Understanding
Is what it takes
To live in the world
Without faith
Poverty that's what it be
In today's society
From day in to day out
Respect is
what it's all about
Caring, sharing, forgiving,
Healing, hurting
Pain, happiness, all together
Under the same roof
Yeah
Could be me,
it could be you
Helping save humanity
From insanity
That's what real
Roommates do
- That's what roommates do
- Roommate
Hi. This is Swamp Dogg.
I wanna thank you
for reaching out
to get my cookbook
called If You Can Kill It
I Can Cook It.
I've tried all
of the recipes myself,
and I love 'em all,
and my friends love 'em all.
They're so good, mmm!
Gourmet food.
It is really good.
And it's for real.
If you can kill it,
I will cook it.
I got a cookbook out.
You know I'm always up
to somethin'.
Call 1-866-DOGG-FUD
That's, 1-866-DOGG-FUD.
Call now!
Bear in mind,
this is just a dream.
But again, it could be reality.
Reality...
That's a slippery subject.
"The only difference
between reality and fiction
is that fiction
needs to be credible."
-Mark Twain.
But a dream...
no one can take that
away from you
no matter how incredible
it might be.
Dream your ass
to Los Angeles...
land of four million dreamers.
What are those dreams?
Fame? Glory? Success?
A fleet
of unnecessary automobiles?
For a lucky few,
the dream is something
they can hold,
and shape
with little resistance.
For everyone else,
well, dream all you want.
Reality's a motherfucker.
And to survive it,
you might need to become
something else entirely.
An unruly, ill-mannered mutt
that just crawled up
out the swamp.
Only one way to find out.
Lately, I can't breathe
These walls are closing in
On me
This lump in my throat...
I'm choking to death...
Jesse!
How many gallons of paint, man,
do you think it's going to take
to do this?
Uh, I have no idea.
- No idea?
- Nope.
Is that good news
or bad news?
That's got to be right,
Lord
If I die tomorrow
I've lived tonight
Hey, Dogg!
Yeah?
Uh, you want something to drink?
- Yeah, man.
- What you want?
Uh, bring me some
acidophilus milk.
Shit...
Uh...
Cheers.
You don't even know what's in it
Well...
...I'll see.
Why's it so fucking quiet
out here?
I still like it
It's still good
I still like it
I return to find you waiting
After I've been gone so long
Is that Shorty over there?
Whoo!
I was born blue
Another day has come and gone
In a world
Where I don't belong
Another day has passed me by
And it's not because
I didn't try
Why wasn't I born
With orange skin
And green hair
Like the rest of the people
In the world?
I was born blue
Ladies and Gentlemen,
without any further ado,
I'm proud to present to you,
none other than Swamp Dogg!
Um...
I started putting out
records in uh...
1960...
...1954!
Yeah, I put out one record.
Hey baby...
I got it on the radio.
I was popular in school.
But I was only opening up
at one place.
A place called
Sunset Lake Park,
which was
the Black beach.
We weren't allowed to go
in your water.
I was touring around
when I was 14, 15.
For some reason at that time
I know you can't look at me
and tell it now,
but I was cute.
So I was opening up
for a lot of people
from Norfolk and Portsmouth,
Newport News, Virginia.
There was an old boy down there
named Leroy Little.
You know, he'd fool people.
He would put a show together...
on the placard,
instead of saying "B.B. King,"
it would say "B. King."
People would be demanding
their money back.
Leroy'd say,
"I'm gonna give
you your money,"
and start beating the shit
out of ya.
You know?
Leroy booked us on a show.
He had this nigga dressed
in a gorilla costume.
Oh, lord.
This gorilla comes out, right?
Man, one nigga jumped up
and stabbed that gorilla.
He didn't kill him though.
In 1964,
Little Jerry Williams
had his first taste of success
with "I'm the Lover Man."
Black people didn't like it
and I could understand it,
'cause I wrote it
for Frankie Valli.
But, in the meantime...
...the record just takes off.
Let me introduce myself
I'm the Loverman...
That was my first hit record.
It was only played
on White stations.
I was like,
number one in
Vermont or some...
I mean,
somewhere it was cold as hell,
and wasn't no Blacks.
Some guy booked me
up there, right?
I was supposed to do two shows.
When I finished singing,
the promoter called me over,
he said, "Look here man,
I thought you was White?"
You know,
I took the money and left.
I mean, wasn't...
wasn't nothing to say.
I mean, how do you argue that?
He thought I was White.
I thought I was Black.
Here's where
we have all our parties
and so forth.
Getting rid of all this shit.
I don't know who did this.
Guitar Shorty did this.
Put a bumper up there.
I don't know
what the hell he think.
My buddy,
Norman Whitfield,
he put that up for me,
bless his heart.
Now, the motherfucker
look like it's going fall down
and decapitate everybody.
This is basically
our work room, our laboratory,
our... our everything.
This is where we do it all.
My partner, Moogstar,
I can say, "Man,
I wanna do such and such...
uh, but I can't do it
unless the piano's
on top of the house."
He'll put the piano
on top of the house,
you know, if it's necessary.
When I had my
kitchen remodeled,
a lot of this stuff fell off
the truck.
They're more economical
that way.
I love TV,
so I got three televisions
here in the kitchen.
Up in the corners,
up in the corners.
All of 'em tuned
to the same station.
Swamp's not joking,
he loves television.
Look at that, look at that.
You might have seen
him on Politically Incorrect...
Mike Judge's
Tales from the Tour Bus...
Excuse me.
The TV version
of High Fidelity...
I will now sell five copies
of Love, Loss, and Auto-Tune
by Swamp Dogg.
Maybe you saw him
on The People's Court.
This is
the defendant, Jerry Williams.
He's accused of going silent.
He was guilty.
So I find
that he is owed the money.
And I am gonna order you
to pay him
what I think
is a very reasonable amount.
Good luck, folks.
So Swamp's well known.
Even Doug Llewellyn
was familiar.
You're Swamp Dogg?
Is that your professional name?
- Yes. Yes.
- Is that right?
I'm not... If you'll turn
around a little bit, there.
I'm... I'm not familiar...
What... what do you do...
on the... on... on the tracks?
I just hafta
Always stay plastered
On Sal-A-Faster
From Al-A-Massa
They grow it under
A yum-yum tree
When I'm plastered
On Sal-A-Faster
I watch the people
All around me
You know I mix it
With my tea
Chamomile, Swamp Dogg style
I just have to
always be plastered
On Sal-A-Faster
From Al-A-Massa...
In 1970, I became Swamp Dogg.
I needed an alter ego.
A dog could get away
with almost anything.
You know, he can try to jump
in your lap
while you're eating,
and chew up your shoes,
and hump your leg.
I mean I was just doing
what they considered
"wild shit."
- So, Swamp?
- Yeah?
So, you're the real Dogg, right?
Yep!
Nobody wanted
to be named "Dogg."
- Come on?
- Nobody.
Matter of fact they wanna fight
if you call them a dog.
Yeah!
"Jerry Williams"
just seemed too soft.
Ladies and gentlemen,
here he is...
" ...Jerry Williams."
And it's... It's a soft name.
I needed a protector.
You know how the little guy
hang out with the big guy
and the big guy kicks ass
for him?
Well, that's what
Swamp Dogg was.
He was my ass kicker.
What Swamp Dogg truly was about
being somebody else
while I look for Jerry Williams.
While you looked
for Jerry Williams?
Uh-huh, 'cause I had lost him
somewhere along the line.
Oops, am I getting
the microphone messed up here?
The mic? Does it sound okay
in the control room?
'Cause I hear mostly
keyboards out here.
Fine.
- That's all I hear too.
- Thank you.
Hi, I'm Art Fein.
This is Lil Art's Poker Party
coming to you from Santa Monica,
with, uh...
stars bigger than Hollywood has.
Because this is my favorite guy
in the world.
Uh, this is Swamp Dogg.
Swamp, welcome to the show.
Thank you, Art!
Glad to see you, man.
Oh, I'm glad to see you.
It's good to be here
on the show.
This is the brand new
Swamp Dogg album.
Yeah.
Of course, you changed your name
to Swamp Dogg
- somewhere along the way.
- Yeah, 1970.
- You were Little Jerry.
- This is the story of my life.
Let me go through
these albums for a sec.
They all seem to have stickers
that say things
like 38 cents on them.
- Yeah.
- But it don't matter
'cause the best music
is often the least expensive.
Oh, most definitely.
These are just gold
and platinum...
accomplishments.
You want this light on?
- Yeah, that's fine.
- Okay.
In here...
...is my manager's bedroom.
I got five daughters, but...
this is the main one.
Do a little dance, Jeri.
- Do a little dance?
- Yeah.
That's Jeri.
She's going to be a doctor
She's 17.
I'm very fortunate today
to have the actual brain
of Swamp Dogg,
aka my father.
Jeri, Jeri
Aside from the small
vessel ischemic changes
like here and so forth,
uh, it's actually a pretty good
looking brain for his age.
My father had me
when he was in his thirties.
Growing up with him as a father
has always been amazing.
Super hardworking, dedicated,
he may have gigs or whatever,
but they were there for me
when I played my sports,
there for me
when I won my awards.
He was never an absentee dad.
He was able to, sort of,
consolidate all
of those things.
And I still think to this day,
you know,
I know he took off time
to raise me.
Sometimes I feel bad,
'cause I think, well,
he was just,
you know, in his heyday
and doing so well in the '70s,
like he could have just kept on
going,
and touring, and touring.
And he just put that...
sort of, to the side.
Remain seated please.
Boy, oh, boy.
You got a lot of people
in this house with you, man.
Yeah, I know it.
I thought you was a bachelor.
I thought you just...
I did too!
- What happened, man?
- Guitar Shorty...
He, uh... he...
he was in Texas,
and him and his old lady
broke up.
He called me and said,
"Look here man,
you got a lot of room there,
can I stay at your place
for a few weeks?"
I said, "Yeah, man, shit, yeah."
'Cause I mean,
I know how it feel
not to have a place to live
and all that.
He's been here over 18 years.
Merry Christmas
to Guitar Shorty.
Merry Christmas, Swamp Dogg!
And I don't charge no rent.
- What?
- I don't charge no rent.
Oh, so you got any free rooms?
Yeah, I got one.
You need another roommate?
Hell, no.
All right.
Well, how about... All right.
How about you kick Shorty out
and I'll get Shorty's room?
I couldn't do it
'cause he's got a heart
as big as that pool.
So now, I got the trailer
hooked up and now I'm...
I'm happy.
He's kind of a secret guy.
It's like living with someone
who works for the CIA.
They've got secrets
they can't tell you.
Shorty also is the resident,
uh, mechanic.
The man can do, you know,
fix a Mercedes, a Cadillac,
a Nissan, whatever.
It's... it's amazing.
Just gets right under the car,
goes from there,
then goes to his gigs.
We understand
the circumstances.
One get in a jam and need help,
we all get in there together.
That's the only way
you gonna do it.
We all work together.
- Guitar Shorty.
- Yeah.
- How you doing?
- Man...
We're very close.
Yeah.
Roommates
Roommates, ooh
Roommates, ooh
Roommates, ooh, ooh
Roommates...
Well, the house is...
it's kind of interesting.
I like to call it "the bachelor
pad for musicians."
Um, aging musicians.
Ha ha ha ha.
I like it because it keeps
my father company.
He's still doing his music.
He, you know, many times,
they'll go in the studio
and jam together,
they're producing
all sorts of folks,
and, uh, it's just
a great vibe.
Go, Shorty!
Uh-oh! Look out now!
So you've just got a bunch
of creative people together,
just living together,
and keeping each other going.
So it's... it's quite nice.
Roommates
Oh shit.
Paint the pool
Paint the pool
One hour
Two hours
Gon' paint the pool
Paint the pool
So, what part of the industry
you haven't done?
You've been...
you've been a writer,
man, you... you're an artist,
you publishing.
I just like it.
It's like a nigga
who likes to cook...
You know, you go in there
and cook a pie.
You can make a cake.
You cook a ham, you know.
But he's enjoying it all.
- Yeah.
- You know?
Plus it... it gives you
more angles to work from.
And I like to work!
I'm tired of working...
Swamp has written,
arranged, produced,
and performed
an estimated 2000 songs.
He's worked
with hundreds of artists
on nearly 500 albums.
He's released 26 as Swamp Dogg.
I've done everything
Now there's nothing else
You are the dog
But I got to do the barking
All by myself...
His career
really took off in 1967.
When he wrote his first
top 20 hit.
You wrote and produced
a Gene Pitney song.
- Right!
- Can you do that?
I got another heartbreaker
I think so.
I got another heartbreaker
On my hands
Girl, I can't stand up to you
And be a normal man
I had no money.
Any money I made
went towards my wife,
my kids, my aunt,
once every two weeks
or something.
I could send
like 50 dollars home.
I was staying
at the Henry Hudson Hotel,
which was nothing
but entertainers.
It was like 20-something
dollars a week.
- And I got behind on that.
- You know. God damn!
Just count the days
I'm gone
1-2-3-4-5-6-7...
I had the star
musicians in
New York loving me.
Chuck Rainey on bass,
Herbie Lovelle on drums.
Eric Gale...
Hello?
Yeah?
I'm in the middle
of an interview.
Call me later.
Bye.
...Eric Gale on guitar,
me on piano.
And that was my rhythm section.
And we was badder
than anything out there.
Count the days
1-2-3-4-5-6-7...
I went over
to Atlantic Records.
They were
the only company around
that didn't have a Black
A&R man.
We had a lot of Black producers,
but no one on staff.
And the NAACP and everybody
was coming down on them
for this.
And I didn't know I was part of
a political thing
that they were doing.
So they just gave me a lot
of acts, they gave me a list,
and so I said, "Yeah, okay.
I'll cut Patti LaBelle.
"I'd love to cut Patti LaBelle.
I'll cut the Commodores."
I didn't think nothing
of the Commodores.
They said, hey,
here's a bunch of acts
we're getting ready
to kick out into the street,
if you wanna cut some of 'em.
Have a ball!
They gave me 500 dollars
a week.
Shit.
Gary U.S. Bonds
and I went to Miami.
First thing we did,
we moved in the Four Seasons,
was a two bedroom suite.
I had a convertible
Lincoln Continental.
And Gary had a convertible
Cadillac, right?
We didn't cut no music yet.
We were smoking grass
and drinking liquor.
All the bills going back
to Atlantic.
So I eventually got fired
from Atlantic.
Deliberately.
By this time people
are coming to
me for production.
A lot of them wanted me
to play piano.
I was who automatically
could give you that groove.
Whatever I played,
that was the groove!
No need in crying
'Cause you see me talking
No need denying no, no
You know the great thing
about Swamp Dogg,
he is great at writing
from a woman's point of view.
How do you even...
how can you get
into the woman's psyche?
How is that possible?
I can think more like a woman
than I can like a man.
I really can.
My mother and my father
were musicians.
And they were always
on the road.
So my aunts basically raised me
in a house
that had a bunch
of strong women,
and they loved me,
but they'd kick a man's ass.
All that Doris Duke stuff
"To the Other Woman,
I'm the Other Woman."
Everybody calls
me stupid...
A record like Doris Duke
sold well over a million.
Oh, I was just
a terrific motherfucker,
you know.
But a whole lot of shit I did,
I didn't know
I was supposed to get paid,
so I didn't.
That's funny.
I went to college.
The whole nine yards.
But...
I said,
"This don't mean nothing."
My mind was on making records.
And I had promised myself
and God,
I wasn't going to do
nothing else in life.
But make records.
Records.
I just have to...
- Hello!
- Hi!
Aw, shit.
We gotta rent a hotel room.
I went into the studio
down in Macon, Georgia.
Capricorn, Otis Redding,
The Allman Brothers,
Lynyrd Skynyrd,
I knew all these guys.
Oh, he'd do an album
in just a few days.
I mean, he was... he was in,
and he was out.
He could get a lot of music
for a small amount of bucks.
They were the fastest
recorded records
we ever did here.
That was that Macon,
Georgia scene.
Swamp Dogg style
At the same time,
Swamp found even
greater success in the
musical hotbed
of Muscle Shoals, Alabama.
I'd never heard
of Muscle Shoals.
But Muscle Shoals was bringing
something that I liked,
which was like Country
and Blues together.
That's the shit.
Whoa...
I became
a millionaire down there.
Everything was wide open
for me.
I had a houseboat.
Had a plane.
Everything was first class.
But I didn't play it right.
I started doing things
without analyzing them.
I was taking Zoloft
like you eat M&Ms.
I thought motherfuckers
were trying to trick me
and kill me, you know.
Lord, Lord, Lord
I didn't know
what success
was supposed to feel like.
I just thought
the world would become mine.
I just went all the way.
I bought a Rolls-Royce.
Man, I had nine fucking cars.
Now, who needs nine cars?
I wanted to be grand, but...
that's not what it's about.
Very profound.
This is, uh,
Lil Art's Poker Party
coming to you from Hollywood
with some pretty groovy guests.
Third or fourth time in,
Jerry Williams.
I already introduced you though.
I'm doing this all
out of order.
Well, it's good
to see you, Jerry.
It's great to see you, Art.
Yeah, man.
And, uh, let me introduce
your beautiful wife, Yvonne.
- Hi.
- Yvonne, welcome to the show.
It's nice to see you here, too.
I met Yvonne,
we got married in '63.
She learned, um,
the music business
along with me.
We both learned together.
Most of all
the amazing things I did.
She mapped them out,
made phone calls,
sent out telexes, and shit.
Basically,
he did all of the creative,
wonderful things that he does.
And she was behind the scenes
making sure it happened,
and making sure
it was lucrative,
sifting through the best deals,
looking out for the shysters.
She was the muscle, okay?
She was a gangster.
She didn't play, okay?
She'd kick ass, talk shit,
and back it up.
Would you stop seeing someone
if they had a pet
that you couldn't stand?
Stand up.
They're saying that the pet
is more important than I am.
- Has that ever happened to you?
- No, it hasn't.
But if it did,
he could just hit the road.
Okay.
She's a little taller than him.
There was that Barney Rubble,
Betty Rubble thing, okay?
She was the big one.
When she barked,
everybody shut up.
Including him.
Her role
in my father's career
was beyond instrumental.
She basically was his manager,
his financial guru,
you name it. She was brilliant.
She definitely broadened
his horizons
and came up
with a lot of great ideas
as far as making the company
bigger and better.
I consider myself
one of the luckiest
motherfuckers in the world.
Sitting on a cornflake
Riding on a roller skate
Too late to hesitate
Or even meditate
Always looking up what's down
They come to get me
From the lost and found
But believe me I'm doing fine
And to the world
I'll toast some wine
And then I'll do...
Total destruction...
To your mind
Trials, and tribulations...
Misuse, and...
Aggravation
It was me
Who you stepped upon
Me who you look down on
I was there to watch you
Playing game
Now, I've learned
To do the same
Now, I'm on your case
Looking you square
In the face
And just as sure
As the sun is going shine
Shine, shine, shine, shine
I'm going to do
Total destruction...
Total destruction...
Total destruction to your mind
Don't get too close
to the edge, Shorty.
Don't get too close
to the edge.
You can swim, can't you?
Not in them shoes.
He can swim a little bit.
With them shoes
gonna drag him down
to the bottom of the water.
This is Northridge,
the porn capital
of the fuckin' world.
Damn, near every house out here,
they shooting porn.
- Yeah!
- Ain't no furniture
in these houses.
I used
to wanna be, uh, a... a grip
until I found out
how much they had to lift.
I thought that would be cool.
"What do you do?" "I'm a grip."
It's better to be a gripper
than a fluffer.
- What's a fluffer?
- What is a fluffer?
Porn man!
When you in porn,
the person that come
to get you ready...
- Oh!
- ...before you do the thing.
- They jack your dick?
- Yeah.
Uh...
How long y'all been
in show business?
I haven't been
in that show business.
You know,
you gotta be prepped
before you go in.
You get it?
I didn't understand
a goddamn thing.
Shorty had his eyes closed
a second ago,
but I didn't want to interrupt
what you was saying.
Oh, he's meditating.
You got on some socks
says "Suck my dick?"
I like that!
Where'd you get those, man?
- Why, you want a pair?
- Yeah, I want a pair!
All right, I'll get you a pair.
Oh, man!
You don't see no messages
on socks!
We gonna open that...
That's my friend.
Make sure you get his feet.
See? He got White folks feet.
This is Guitar Shorty's room.
You go in there,
uh, at your own risk.
Uh,
this is my living room.
Used to be bigger...
until Moogstar...
took it over
with his green screen...
but we get good use
out of it, so...
I'm not complaining.
That's my man.
Well, Moogstar
has so much talent.
He's the only person I know
who can play
any instrument well!
Not just can play it,
but play it well.
It's just crazy.
Like, anything he sets
his mind to do,
he can do it.
Hangin out with the owls
All night
Ooh...
Moogstar...
M-O-O-G S-T-A-R.
I am like a satellite.
Not from this planet...
but I am here...
...amongst you all.
I'm gonna
have to funk you all down!
Are we recording?
Yeah, it's recording.
Let you in on a lil' of this.
Let me do that over again.
Okay.
Don't copyright that.
Okay, you want me...
First door and to the left...
Star Village.
Welcome to my "lablomatory."
This is where I hang out.
Sleep right there.
Me, and my animals,
and my mask, and, uh...
all the animals are my friends.
You know, we get to go
way back in time.
See, look at all that.
This was the baby, man,
I... I'll never forget.
I played it
all over the place, man.
And I took it to church,
and I never s...
seeing how the people
was acting crazy,
and they was doin'
the funky worm,
and they started doing
all kinds of shit.
And I was doing all...
I was just getting the feel
of it then.
But I feel the spirit
and I just go into these runs.
'Cause, you know, the church
got Christ, they rolling.
And they be dancing like in a...
in a... in a club,
and, you know, in a house club,
you know, I mean they be gone!
Fast! You know...
The funky worm!
And now I start doing this
crazy funky shit and all that.
And they were like, "Whoa!"
I was able to listen
to secular music by sneaking,
by listening to it on the side,
and, oh,
with a little transistor radio,
you know, and go outside,
or go somewhere
where I feel I'm protected
without my dad being around.
'Cause, boy,
he believed in whooping you. Oh!
He'd whoop our ass.
I wasn't able to really,
like, get into it,
like go to a concert
or... or anything, like,
you know, have my own CDs,
and records,
and, you know, all of that.
So I could study it and...
and really get into it.
I didn't get that.
But I felt the music. I felt it.
I knew the music...
I can relate to any music.
Don't matter what it is.
I love music. It's in me.
My grandfather taught me
how to stand on my head,
but I was always scared
after I did it.
Hey, Swamp! How are you doing?
I don't know who it is.
Good to see you, neighbor.
What's happening? Man!
That's some crazy stuff
up there.
It's always strange
things happening here,
you know that.
You keep up with the news?
The FBI?
Suddenly, they're the good guys.
They were looking at you
at one point.
Uh-huh.
- Oh yeah. But that was...
That was around the time
that Lennon
and people like Groucho Marx,
you know, they were on a...
- List.
- ...list.
Yeah, they're all on the list.
They were just, uh, subversives,
- you know.
- Yeah.
I want to hear about that.
- Yeah.
- That was 1970... 71.
Seemed like I did
all my crazy shit
right around then.
Uh,
I was,
you know, singing songs about...
the president that weren't...
complimentary.
I joined up with Jane Fonda.
- Hmm.
- And they hated her.
Right.
The FBI came, and asked me
a whole bunch of questions,
and the only thing
they could get
was something
about me stealing a car.
At that time,
I had nine automobiles.
The hell
I'm gonna steal a car for?
And I'm forgetting
what I'm saying.
Mr. Wiggles was,
uh, a little gangster.
He was a real gangster, I guess,
'cause he shot
a couple of people.
Mr. Wiggles?
Tom was hoping
that Swamp
would have kept telling him
the story about touring around
with Jane Fonda.
Here's what we
would've learned.
In 1971, the Vietnam War
was still ongoing.
What is it that... that...
Jane Fonda
and other anti-war activists
decided to form
an entertainment group
that would fly in the face
of Bob Hope and his revues.
The traveling show
was called FTA,
or Free The Army.
The soldiers know
what FTA means,
um, it means one
particular thing to them,
we say it means
Free The Army,
and, um...
It meant Fuck The Army.
They visited military bases
around the United States
and the Pacific Rim.
Other members of the group
included Donald Sutherland,
Dick Gregory,
and for a while, Swamp Dogg.
We put on our show, there was
a group called Swamp Dogg,
a marvelous rock group.
They sang songs like
"God Bless America for What."
His radical political views
got him placed
on the FBI's watch list,
and dropped
from Elektra Records.
God bless America
Since Martin died
Nothing has changed
In a country like this
People living in the street
A damn shame
There's not a paragraph
Supposed to help them
In the constitution
We need a revolution
These are the type of songs
that kept me
from being too popular.
Yeah.
You wanna know what happened
to my career?
Songs like "Eat the Goose."
"I've Never Been To Africa."
"Call Me Nigger."
"Mighty Mighty Dollar Bill."
Yeah! I keep singing them.
Yeah!
Could you turn up
the applause meter right there?
God, that's great, Jerry.
That's great, Swamp.
Your career has kind of been,
uh... up and down.
Yes, it has.
Lots of down.
- Lots of down?
- Lots of downs.
But yet you're loved
throughout the world.
Yes, it's... it's, well...
It's a very interesting
phenomenon.
I've noticed you're never
on the same label twice.
No, no.
Uh, they... they get their fill
of me after one time around.
I was signed
to Virgin Records in '96?
Yeah.
This is the new album.
It's going to live up
to all that we were expecting.
- I certainly hope so.
- It fucking better!
I had lunch made
for everybody at Virgin,
and we had like, you know,
ribs, sausage, potato salad,
that type of thing.
That was...
the same week
that I had circumcision.
Boy, you talk about some hurt!
You got circumcised? In '96?
Yeah.
Why so late?
I didn't feel
that I needed it, my wife did.
And she wasn't never wrong.
This is my...
garage, but...
I turned it into...
my SDEG Records warehouse.
Swamp Dog Entertainment Group.
That's SDEG.
That's how we're listed
with the IRS
on their list of people
that they getting ready
to put in jail.
Call 800-777-DOGG.
That's 800-777-D-O-G-G.
I put out all kinds of records.
Soul compilations, um, Country,
Jackson 5 and Johnny.
And everybody always asks
uh, "Who the hell is Johnny?"
One of the most exciting ones
was a thing
called Beatle Barkers,
and it was Beatles songs
being sung by dogs,
cats, and cattle.
"Beatle Barkers"!
Enjoy again
all your Beatles favorites,
sung... did I say sung?...
as only they could be.
By chickens, cattle,
dogs, and sheep!
Record did good.
I sold 30,000 cassettes
to a pet supplier in Spain.
You know,
Yvonne's your collaborator,
- your wife.
- Yeah.
She helps
write songs, produces,
- I mean everything, right?
- Right.
You got a rap record out too?
Sure, we have two out.
Oh yeah, Daddy D!
We got a guy named Daddy D.
Then I got another album on,
uh... What is it?
- Hustle, Z & M.C. Cool P.
- Hustle, Z & M.C. Cool P!
Oh yeah. We signed this
rap group out of South Carolina.
I didn't know
it was finalized yet,
so I didn't wanna say anything.
Well, we don't quite
have it on paper yet.
Don't stop now
Don't stop now...
Yvonne brought the rappers in.
She's the one who started
a rap section of our company.
Well now the music is pumping
So get out your seat...
And she started managing
some DJs and rappers.
And I thought she was wasting
her time,
but we had a little money,
so go with it.
To the beat, y'all
In 1991,
Swamp and Yvonne released
a hip hop classic,
M.C. Breed's
"Ain't No Future
in Yo Frontin."
Check it out!
We took him
from nothin' to somebody.
We sold a million on him.
Sound good to me
This sound hard...
I had artists
that sell 100,
200 thousand 12-inches,
and never appear on the charts.
They'd just skip over
rap artists.
In the '80s,
I started managing
the World Class Wreckin' Cru,
which at that time had Dr. Dre,
Yella, Lonzo Williams.
Swamp was my professor,
my mentor.
Now, Dre, and Yella,
and all these guys
are right next to me,
and none of us knew anything
about anything
when it came
to the record business.
He taught me how to sustain
in bad times.
He was an artist
that owned his own label.
They told me,
I couldn't do that.
Swamp Dogg told me, I could.
Swamp's been known
around the West Coast.
Even Calvin was familiar.
Yeah, I know who Swamp Dogg is.
OG.
Oh, no, he didn't.
Look at the swamper.
He pulled up with a rat
on a chain, man!
He's a fool, man.
He's a fool killer.
I've been affiliated with rats
ever since I did an album
called Rat On!
I've had more
publicity to this album
than I have...
any other album I've had.
And the reason
is because instead
of just being a...
ratty rat...
he's smiling.
Swamp Dogg ridin' the rat?
Well, you know what?
That picture how dumb I was.
I say, "Swamp Dogg,
where you find a rat
that big to get on?"
He told me, "Oh, man,
they got... they get 'em
down there at the zoo."
"Gotta go to the special spot,
they got the big rats."
I'm... I'm thinking
it was real shit, okay?
I didn't know
it was photo magic!
Then he had another one.
Him in a hot dog.
I just want to be inside...
of a hot dog.
That's my favorite food.
This was done in '82.
They put this cover on,
with this dog eating my butt.
And I was going to sue 'em
and my wife said,
"You know, you're going
to look like a fool in court."
I said, "Why?"
She said, "All them crazy albums
that you have done yourself..."
Salt salty dog
C'mon now! Salt salty dog
Salty dog
C'mon, everybody
Sing with me
One more time
"...You can't win with this,"
she said,
"It ain't really that bad."
Hanging around Swamp Dogg,
I see
what being original is like.
He don't give a fuck
about none of that shit, okay?
He do Swamp Dogg all the time.
Don't be afraid
to step outside the box.
- Try something different, man!
- Right.
You know,
try something different.
Put a...
put a banjo on your shit.
That's right.
Okay, try a banjo
on some hip-hop.
That's that creativity
that they don't teach you.
- You have to just do it.
- Yeah, you got to do it.
"If You
Can Kill It I Can Cook It."
Featuring Moogstar
and The Ingredients.
Swamp Dogg, Dizzy Fae.
"If You Can Kill It
I Can Cook It,"
the new cookbook
written for you by Swamp Dogg,
legendary musician,
entertainer, and now, chef!
Hey, y'all!
It's your girl, Dizzy Fae.
Welcome to If You Can Kill It...
- ...I Can Cook It!
- Absolutely.
Let me introduce you
to our chef, Swamp Dogg.
Thank you.
Makes me feel so good.
So, Swamp,
what are we making today?
- We're makin' cheesecake.
- Ooh!
Moogstar does not eat cheese.
- Swamp, this looks amazing.
- It looks great.
Give it up
for our lucky audience member.
Jesse! Where did he come from?
Is he gonna eat the whole cake?
- "If You Can Kill It
- I Can Cook It,"
the cookbook
50 years in the making!
Swamp Dogg turned
to writing this cookbook
for family and friends
to get him through
the turbulent times of life,
and you can too.
Call 1-866-DOGG-FUD.
That's 1-866-D-O-G-G-F-U-D.
Call now.
That video grabbed my attention
right from the beginning.
I not only felt that this video
had the most original concept
I have ever seen.
I give it five Jeris!
You got a lot of hair.
That... that's...
That's really my hair.
Wow.
That's really something, man.
This show has taken
another dimension.
So, uh, where do...
where do you base yourself now?
You're based in Los Angeles?
No, I'm out in The Valley,
Woodland Hills.
L.A., I mean,
you're out here in California.
You were working
with Ray Charles, right?
You were playing guitar
with his band?
Yeah. I didn't get a chance
to record with him.
I think if I stayed
with him I would have.
Mm-hmm.
I didn't stay. I left Ray
after we got to New Orleans,
and I got cold feet
and I missed my grandmother,
and I wanted to go back home,
so I just got nervous.
This is a hard life, baby
You can't live it
By yourself
You're working
300 days a year
or something like that,
traveling all over the world.
Was it always that way for you?
Been on the road
most of your life?
Music has played
a big part in my life.
That's... that's what
I always wanted to be.
And there's been
some tough times for me.
I did mechanic work,
and do music at night.
So I finally took a look
at myself and I said,
"Boy, I might as well just go
all the way with the music."
Let's welcome
now a singing truck driver
from Houston, Texas
truckin' his way
into our hearts.
It's Guitar Shorty! Yeah!
The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
Oh, you know
You done me wrong, baby
But you'll be sorry someday
Our winner is with 30 points,
Guitar Shorty! Yahoo!
Guitar Shorty!
Moogstar begs
for someone to slap him
so he can find out
if it's a dream or reality.
Sorry, Moog!
It could have been
just another case of the...
Snooze Blues
Snooze Blues
We go to Montana to do a gig.
Right after it was over,
I was approached
by these people.
This lady walked up to me
and said,
"We're going to the, uh,
Evel Knievel's graveyard."
"Could you go with us?"
I asked the other band members,
nobody wanted to go.
"We ain't going."
"We don't want to go.
We don't want to go."
I just said,
"Fuck it, let's go."
Then we got into these cars
and we going down,
ridin' like Scooby Doo,
you know what I mean?
Going to the cemetery,
you know, with the lights on,
they shinin' on the graves.
We pulled up to it, you know,
and there was this
beautiful grave there.
Started taking pictures.
We was all taking pictures.
"Moogstar,
why don't you put the suit on?"
I was like, "What?
Put the suit on?"
So I put it on!
And I was like, "Man,
what if I was like that guy?"
Because I had a fear...
Fear.
As an artist, always been there.
I mean, this cat
he'd get on a lawnmower, man,
and ride and go jump 50 cars.
You know, ain't scared
to jump a canyon,
break all his bones
and do all kinds of shit.
Now, I don't want
to break no bones. Get me right.
But I want that
"not to be afraid" shit.
So, anyway we had
a professional opera singer,
she was there
and she starts singing
and she was like, "Whoa!"
"I want the spirits
to come through
and give Moogstar the mantle
to keep going."
Will be channeled
Through Moogstar!
I can feel it
I was like,
"What the fuck is they doing?"
Anyway, I'm just going with it.
I'm rolling, just having fun.
And I went by the grave
to bend down.
I just wanted
to thank the spirits
because I want
this man's spirit,
I want his guts.
And, when I did that...
...they said,
"Did you see that?"
And then here come this owl,
this big white owl.
That was really strange.
So, I tried to tell people
about what happened
when we left, you know,
because it went on,
they were filming,
doing some other stuff
that night, some crazy stuff.
I mean, naked lady at
McDonald's in a waterfall.
I mean, we were just doing
all kinds of crazy stuff
that night.
So... so...
...I come back home.
When we got here...
that night...
that owl showed up.
That same white...
We don't have no owls
in this neighborhood, okay?
That sucker showed up.
Everybody ran out the room
cause they heard this owl
goin'...
And I looked up there
and there's this big
white owl again
sitting in the tree up there.
I was like, "What the hell
is going on here?"
We didn't understand
what was happening,
but I feel it!
I believe,
and I don't know who it is,
but that owl is here
to protect us
and it's also here to guide us.
It's the light that we need.
You put on Evel Knievel's suit
and a naked woman
come out of it,
and... and... and...
an owl followed you home?
I ain't the only one
seen the owl.
When Mike Judge came here,
that same owl appeared.
Yeah, it was up...
It was like up, uh...
- Yeah.
- ...in one of these palm trees.
- Yeah, yeah. There.
I couldn't see very well,
but it was...
- You could hear it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- He's big.
You getting
into Nashville,
songwriting stuff,
was that in the '70s or...
Yeah, I would have
a lot of songs with me,
and lotta producers
would want to know,
"Hey, man,
what'd you bring down?"
"What you got?"
At that time,
we weren't looking at my stuff
as country stuff.
- Right.
- It was just...
Swamp's doing some stuff.
"Don't Take Her,
She's All I Got."
That was such a huge hit
for Paycheck.
Well, I said, friend
Don't take her
She's all I've got
Please don't take
Her love away from me
A bunch of different versions
- made it into...
- Oh, man.
Conway Twitty.
Friend
Don't take her
She's all I've got
- Tanya Tucker? Yeah.
- Tanya Tucker.
She did the shit out of it.
Don't take him
He's all I got
The United States Navy Band.
Friend, don't...
It was a hit in the '90s.
It enabled me
to go somewhere...
that I'd always wanted to go.
Even though I was only
allowed to visit.
I wasn't allowed to live there.
And I got the number one
country record.
At that time,
it was still kind of
weird down there, in 1972.
And when I went down,
and they found out I was Black.
And first of all,
when I got to the awards,
I was ushered
through the kitchen because...
they thought I was a waiter,
although I had ju...
I stepped out
of a fucking limousine.
Then again, maybe the waiters
ride in limousines down there.
I don't know.
One, two, three, four...
Good morning, gentlemen.
- Good morning, Swamp.
- That was horrible.
Well,
that's 'cause you weren't here
- to help us out.
- That's why I rushed over.
We need your presence.
If you don't
Believe I'm leavin'
Just count the
days I'm gone
You gotta have a little
argument thing
goin' on in your voice.
There'll be
a blue Monday...
Just kind of...
kind of blues it up.
And if you don't
Believe I'm leavin'
Just count the
days I'm gone
Yeah
Yeah, that's nice.
It's got heart.
A woman needs care
- Love and protection
- Love and protection
I could never find you
When I needed affection
Needed affection
- If you don't
- Count the days
- Believe I'm leavin'
- Count the days
Just count the
days I'm gone
One, two, three, four
Five, six, seven
Oh, you won't
Have the chance
Again to treat me wrong
It's been a
long time coming
And it'll be a long
Long time gone
Bluegrass to me
is like the blues.
Everybody owns it.
It's not one
set of people that own it.
And every time you say
"bluegrass,"
some son of a bitch say,
"Yahoo!" Ya know?
And uh, you know, fuck that.
If I'm lucky...
I got 20 more years here.
But who gets lucky?
You know?
So, I've got some stuff...
I want to leave...
for people to hear
and know what I was...
about.
Yeah, I'd like to see ya.
I ain't seen ya in so long.
Oh, boy.
What is Swamp Dogg's
philosophy on life?
Overall...
just be cool.
You know?
And it's all so fun...
being yourself.
That's fun like a motherfucker.
But you got to find yourself.
- Oh, Jesse?
- Yeah?
That was that.
Wow.
That looks great, Swamp Dogg!
- You like that?
- That's amazing.
How long you been
working on that?
Um...
Swamp Dogg wants to know
when the fuck
you're gonna have it wrapped up?
So, did any
of your record companies
you were with, or the labels
you were with over the years,
when you came up with a concept,
did anyone fight you back on it?
Or they just let you do what...
Hell yeah!
Did you usually win out?
Well,
gettin' kicked off Elektra,
would that be a win?
I did a small portion of LSD
for a while.
And the first time I had LSD
it was slipped on me.
I wake up...
at night...
screaming.
And I'd wrap myself
around my wife.
She said I was squeezing,
squeezing, squeezing.
And my anxiety
became worse and worse.
And doctors and psychiatrists,
they hadn't gotten
into depression
and anxiety attacks and shit.
That's how you lived
for a while, right?
For a few years. It got bad.
Mine got real bad.
I guess you'd had
episodes before that,
that you would
get really worked up
and start spinning a little?
I used to have like...
at least five im...
- imaginary heart attacks a day.
- Oh, wow.
What I did is built
a little world around me.
I had this big,
8,000 square foot home
in Long Island.
Nine automobiles.
Everything I bought was supposed
to make me feel better.
Right.
I did not feel any better.
Was music, uh,
a safe place for you?
Could you... If you ever got
in that situation,
could you listen to music
and you would calm down or...
No.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Swamp Dogg!
A man named
Swamp Dogg is here.
Welcome to the show,
first of all.
Good to see you.
It's nice to have
you here and, uh...
It's nice to be had.
Darlin'
There's nothin' sweeter
You make me scream
You make me bawl
You make me feel
Like I'm ten foot tall
Sugar bum, sugar bum bum
I had really become antiquated
when it came to the music.
What's happenin'?
My body's startin' to shake
That building
Looks like it's
falling on me!
Earthquake!
It happens all the time
We ignore it
In less than a minute
It's gone
You come to L.A.
We're chatting with Swamp Dogg.
I don't know why
I'm having so much difficulty
pronouncing that properly.
For many years,
for some reason,
my father made me believe
that you were dead.
So when I opened my eyes
and I saw you...
...I can't believe
that you are here!
I thank you so much.
And I'm glad that the rumors
of my death are false.
My god.
I'm always hearing
that I'm dead.
Yeah, well,
that would be
very inconvenient for us.
Yes, me too! Especially me!
Oh, we going to get sun today?
Oh yeah!
Oh, I like... I like the sun.
I come out here every day.
I sit for hours. It's healing.
Well, you know,
I was married
seven and a half, eight years.
I had kids.
You know...
My wife left.
I was devastated.
It was a bad situation,
sad situation.
And a friend called me up,
said, uh, he wanted
to go downtown.
Next thing you know, I'm...
gonna be
on this television show.
I didn't realize...
From Oakland, California!
Doing his second HBO Special,
Hanging with Mr. Cooper himself,
Mr. Mark Curry!
They gave us tickets
to go way in the front.
And we sat there
and the show started.
Mark Curry, he came in,
he went on the stage.
And then, all of a sudden...
he said, "Look at this..."
This motherfucker right here!
Oh, shit!
Then motherfucking cameras
came from everywhere.
You can feel the lights
and everything just hit me.
I didn't know
what was happening.
So, he went
to touch my hair, right?
He went to touch it
and I threw my hand up
like one of them
Michael Jackson's fans.
You know what I mean?
This nigga!
What the fuck is this?
Nigga,
we got an alien in here!
This...
...this motherfucker like...
Look at him, he be like
MC Hammer on crack!
So, I didn't know
what was happening.
So I got up.
Mookie? What you do, Mookie?
- I sing and dance.
- You sing... you sing?
I know you must dance!
What kind of dance you do?
Let me see a quick move.
We don't need no music, nigga!
That's you. Use your hands.
I said fuck this shit!
My kids are going to see me
on national TV.
All this shit
going through my mind.
You know what? Fuck this!
I ain't gonna be humiliated!
I'm gonna do something...
I said fuck it.
I just went to the hills, man.
You go up this hill
where the nuclear reactor is...
then go way up the hill.
So I went far!
So nobody can find me.
I had a weapon.
Yeah, I got a gun.
I had the barrel to my head.
I'll never forget that shit.
I said I got all this talent.
Fuckin' do everything,
for... for what?
For what?
So I just didn't want
to be here no more, man.
Said, "Fuck it, man."
I had the adrenaline
and everything was happening
and just a voice came in,
"Who are you to kill yourself
when you don't even own it?"
"Uh, uh!"
"I got something else
for you to do."
It's like I was called
to do something,
you know what I mean?
It's so weird. I can't...
You know, when I'm looking
at it this close, Swamp,
I can't...
I can't see a form at all.
It just looks like
abstract shapes.
- No shit?
- Yeah.
And it just doesn't feel like
it's ever going
to make any sense.
That would drive me
fucking crazy.
There we go.
Hi, this is Jeri,
and I'm kicking back
with my friends,
and it's spring break
at my house.
Welcome to Jeri Williams's
New Music Revue!
The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
Tell 'em, Shorty!
The thrill is gone away
See I told ya,
I like little toy animals.
I got James Brown.
I got all kinds of shit.
Can I play you a cut?
Do a little dance
for me, Yvonne.
"Do a little dance."
Damn!
Spielberg,
eat your fuckin' heart out.
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love...
I love you, yes I do...
Why am I doing this?
I used to do it
to see her smile.
Give me a... give me a smile.
She was the most
magnificent woman in the world.
And I will never get over her.
This is the love of my life.
Yvonne.
Motherfucker.
Well, when we lost Mommy,
a lotta changes...
- Yeah.
- A lot of changes.
Yeah.
I'll pretend
That you're gone
On vacation
And you'll be back
Yvonne was my wife, my life,
my everything,
and I could never get over her.
She was somebody
you believed in.
I... I believed in her.
I believed in her.
To tell me you miss me
And you're coming home soon
And I'll pretend
Your perfume fills the air
She was a good woman.
Very good woman.
She said, um...
"The doctor told me
I ain't gonna have long
to be here."
I said, "I...
I don't want you to go."
She said, "Well...
The doctor said that's it."
"Ain't nothing you
or nobody else can do."
I'll pretend
When I visit
our old friends
The last thing
that we talked about,
she wanted me to stay here
and look over him.
If he want anything,
make sure you take care of him.
I've been here ever since.
In fact, her name's
on that concrete over there.
I can't live like this
Please come back
I can't live like this
People had counted me out
because they hadn't
seen or heard anything.
This generation
is more hip to my stuff
than my generation were.
It was almost like coming back
from the dead.
We're going to bring out
our good friend Swamp Dogg.
- Come on out here, Swamp.
- Here he comes.
Back in 1972,
Swamp scored
one of his biggest hits
with a cover
of John Prine's "Sam Stone."
Sam Stone, welcome home
Didn't last too long
He went to work
After he spent his last dime
Forty years later,
they decided it's finally time
to hit the studio together.
What the fuck was that?
Memories...
Don't leave like people do
And that's why anytime
Anywhere
I want to thank you
for that "Sam Stone," man.
You got it around
to a lot of people, Swamp.
You know, I... I never paid
any attention to the "mmm's."
- I know you didn't.
- Yeah.
I don't do it on my record.
Right.
This is your chance now
to make up for it.
- Damn. Okay.
- Okay.
Sam Stone came home
To his wife and family
After serving
In the conflict overseas
And the time that he served
Had shattered
all his nerves
And left a little shrapnel
In his knee
But the morphine
Eased the pain
The grass grew
Round his brain
And gave him
All the confidence he lacked
- There's a hole
- In daddy's arm
Where all the money goes
And Jesus Christ
Died for nothin' I suppose
Little pitchers
Have big ears
Don't stop
To count the years
Sweet songs
Never last too long
On broken radios
Mmmm...
You did it again, John!
- Just keep doing it.
- Yeah.
Sam Stone's welcome home
Didn't last too long
- You want your hat?
- Huh?
- Want your hat?
- The cap?
- Yep.
- No, I got a hat on.
I got one in the van.
Oh, okay, so want me
to put this in your room?
- Yeah.
- All right, all right.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
I'd sure like
Like to come back
That's a date
I don't wanna miss
Next time
Can't be better than this
Next time
Well, you know,
as you know, Guitar Shorty...
He passed away, um... 4/20.
Time was five o'clock p.m.
Exactly in this bed right here.
He's gone, he's in Heaven
and rejoicing...
with the angels
and the universe.
We grew up in this house
for like 15 years.
Three people, we're like
Three Stooges up in this house.
For years and years and years
of going through the same thing,
same thing,
not knowing who or what,
but learning and hoping
and praying
and just keep creating
and making greatness for people
so you can help people
all the time
'cause that's what we do.
You know, through music,
you know, 'cause we're healers,
you know, manifestors.
We make things happen
out of nothing.
We just... Musically.
Because we're being guided
by the spirits.
Which is a wonderful thing.
Because his spirit is still here
and it's never going to leave.
And it's making visitations
all over the place.
It's going to continue
to do that and grow.
And everything gon' be great.
Are you enjoying
being a legend?
What else can I do?
No, man, I just can't figure
how to get out of this thing.
It's my birthday.
"Dad,
sometimes kids don't get it."
"We don't notice
the little things
that come straight
from a dad's heart."
"I may not be a kid
anymore, Dad...
but I still love the things
you do."
"And I realize
how important it is
I tell you how much...
I love you."
"Happy birthday."
Then she writes, "I love you
and hope we will be able to...
spend many more birthdays...
together."
"Love, Jeri."
She's so sincere.
She's so sweet, so good.
Telling me how much
she loves me, and...
so forth.
Sometimes you need
that kind of stuff.
Yeah.
Lately
I can't breathe
These walls are closing
In on me
This lump in my throat
Gettin' bigger all the time
I'm choking to death
From the ties that bind
Yes I am now...
- Hey, Jeri!
- Yes?
Come here a minute.
Want me help you
with your shoes?
- Yes.
- Sure, no problem.
- You're a doctor.
- Yeah.
Watch a neurologist
put some shoes on.
These are cool!
When did you get these?
Dun dun dun!
Whoa!
Look at the glass slippers!
Tha slippa da dippa! Oh...
Oh, wait...
But wait, where does it stick?
It don't stick.
Yeah it does, there's Velcro.
Yeah, the Velcro.
So what am I doing wrong?
No, no,
it goes around like that.
So we just need
to give him his shirt, right?
- Yeah.
- Well, I've got the shirt.
I don't need y'all no more.
Excuse me!
Looked like you needed us.
Big Party
Big Party
Big Party
She invited me...
Is that Art Fein?
'Cause she knew
You would bring me
Eighty fucking years old.
You don't look...
you don't look a day over 57.
Oh, shit.
Thank you.
Alonzo! My man!
Over here
holdin' court?
I told you I'm coming out
with a bluegrass album?
No.
Yeah,
it's full of banjos and shit.
That's what my problem is.
Whatever it is I wanna do,
I'm gonna do it,
whether you like it or not.
- How ya doing, Moogie?
- Awesome.
- How's your monkey doing?
- He's happy now!
- Happy birthday!
- Thank you!
God damn!
Vernon!
How long we gonna be doing this?
I don't know.
How long you wanna do it?
If this was me,
I would have been excited
to do it for about 3 hours,
and then I woulda
just wanted to hide.
No.
- I don't wanna die.
- Oh.
- Wait, not die! I said "hide."
- I know.
Hide.
You're going crazy
on your 80th, man.
People not doing it like this,
with the shoes, too.
Eightieth birthday.
It kinda sticks
in your throat a little bit.
Swamp Dogg is the official
Great Grandfather
of West Coast hip-hop.
I'm gonna show you
the man's pool right quick.
I don't wanna drop my phone
in the goddamn pool.
Okay, where's the owl?
He's got to be flying
around here.
All right, everybody!
Let's get together and sing.
Happy birthday to Swamp Dogg!
All right?
Happy birthday dear
Swamp Dogg
Happy birthday to you!
Oh yeah, right. Uh...
I forgot
what I was supposed to do.
Speech!
No, um, I appreciate
everybody who's out here.
And I love you.
I'm here for you.
And thank you
for being here for me.
Enjoy!
Buildings blaze in a mist
Draw them each day
Crying sky
All bathed in dust
I'm seeing
your skeleton right now.
Is that what should
be happening?
It just gleamed
Saturn's face sparkling
Silver shadow velvet blue
All of this reminding
Me of you
All of this
Reminding me of you
What do you think, Swamp?
You like it?
I'm crazy about it!
I'm crazy anyway now.
- Say what?
- Huh?
Wow! I love it!
Is, uh, anybody going
to be able to see this
- from the sky?
- I believe so.
Uh...
Well, we've had
a lot of those, uh...
Robot planes.
What do you call them?
- Those drones?
- Yeah, those drones.
Cannonball.
Oh!
Damn!
Jesse made a messy! Ah!
Jesse!
Can't you read that sign?
I didn't get to eat
none of the cheesecake.
Weren't supposed
to eat no cheesecake.
I could at least tasted it.
Well, how come
you didn't go to the table
and cut you a piece?
'Cause you told 'em
on the loud...
everybody,
that I couldn't have any...
Hey, you
I'm up from the bayou
Where wildlife runs free
You might say that I'm country
But let me tell you what I see
Your world is plastic
And I can see through
To the other side
Your cities are made of wood
Antiques are what
You've got inside
Houses are paper
But folks don't hear
A word you say
Friendship's like acid
It just burns...
As it slides away
So, you see
My patience is growin' thin
With this synthetic world
We're livin' in
Strange drugs to keep me blind
Heavy metal music...
To blow my mind
Now I find I'm out of place
If I only have one face
All my friends has
more than two
And no longer must you be you
They found out
how to transplant
"Maybe" has replaced "can't"
So, you see
My patience is growin' thin
With this synthetic world
That we're living in
Think about that.
Um... I mean...
I ain't trying
to be Mark Twain...
but I think I'm just as good
as Mark Twain.
Doing my shit
when he doin' his shit.
I'll leave Mark Twain alone.
Good night, Mark.
Sittin' on a cornflake
Ridin' on a roller skate
Too late to hesitate
Or even meditate
Always lookin' up
What's down
They've come to get me
From the lost and found
But believe me
I'm feelin' fine
To the world
I'll throw some wine
And then I'll do
Total destruction
To your mind, mind
Mind, mind
Total destruction
To your mind
Yeah
Total destruction
To your mind, mind
Mind, mind
Total destruction
To your mind
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Trials and tribulations
Misuse and aggravation
It was me
Who you stepped upon
Me who you looked down on
Stand and watched you
Playin' games
But now
I've learned to do the same
Now, I am on your case
Lookin' you square
In the face
And as sure as the sun
Will shine, shine
Shine, shine, shine
I'm gonna do total
destruction To your mind,
mind, mind, mind
Total destruction
To your mind
Yeah
Total destruction
To your mind
Mind, mind, mind
Total destruction
To your mind
Yeah, mind, yeah, mind
Roommates
Roommates
Oh, roommates
Oh, roommates
Oh, oh, roommates
Oh, oh, roommates
Yeah
Understanding
Is what it takes
To live in the world
Without faith
Poverty that's what it be
In today's society
From day in to day out
Respect is
what it's all about
Caring, sharing, forgiving,
Healing, hurting
Pain, happiness, all together
Under the same roof
Yeah
Could be me,
it could be you
Helping save humanity
From insanity
That's what real
Roommates do
- That's what roommates do
- Roommate
Hi. This is Swamp Dogg.
I wanna thank you
for reaching out
to get my cookbook
called If You Can Kill It
I Can Cook It.
I've tried all
of the recipes myself,
and I love 'em all,
and my friends love 'em all.
They're so good, mmm!
Gourmet food.
It is really good.
And it's for real.
If you can kill it,
I will cook it.
I got a cookbook out.
You know I'm always up
to somethin'.
Call 1-866-DOGG-FUD
That's, 1-866-DOGG-FUD.
Call now!