T Bird (2025) Movie Script
1
[grunts, then coos]
[grunts]
[dog barking in distance]
[child screams]
[dramatic music playing]
[exhales sharply]
[imitates blade slicing]
[imitating sword slicing]
[exhales sharply]
[exclaiming]
[exhaling sharply]
[metal rattling]
[babbling manically]
-[man 1] Whoo, bum fights!
-[man 2] Right here.
[man 1] Bum fights!
Whoo! What's up, beardo?
How you doing?
Come on, come on,
get in the van.
-Come on, it's Bumfights!
-Come on.
Hey, hey,
three bucks right now
if you get in the van.
Three bucks right now
if you get in the van.
Right here, right here,
right here. Spotlight.
You're in-- You're in
the fucking spotlight.
-[T Bird] What are we doing?
-Come on, man.
-[T Bird] The fuck is this?
-Get in here, bro.
[man] Oh, yeah, it's beautiful.
-Oh, yeah. Get the belt.
-Let's get the belt right here.
Yeah. Frame that up. Get
the belt. The face in there.
-The fucking money, you know?
-Oh, yeah.
Make that rain shit right there.
-Yeah.
-Let's go, let's go.
-All right. Now, pan back.
-You ready?
Pan back. Get the whole frame.
-Now drink this piss.
-Yeah, yeah.
-You ever drank piss before?
-[men laugh]
Drink this piss.
-Three more bucks, baby.
-Three more bucks.
-Come on, T Bird.
-Drink it!
Go ahead and drink it, man.
-Make that money.
-Three bucks, T Bird.
-Give me a show right now.
-Three bucks to drink the piss?
-Three bucks, T Bird.
-[T Bird] Whose piss is it?
We don't know.
That's not important.
-Yeah.
-Give me 20.
-Twenty bucks?
-We-- We could do that.
-You'd do 20?
-Yeah. Yeah!
-He's drinking the piss!
-[all cheering]
You got 20 now, bro!
You got 20 bucks, T Bird!
-You got 20 bucks, T Bird.
-Let's go!
-[grunts]
-You got 20 bucks, T Bird.
You got 20 bucks, T Bird.
-Fuck you! Fuck it!
-Let's go!
-Fuck it! Fuck it!
-Yeah! [laughs, applauds]
[man whoops]
Hey, you got anything to smoke?
-[man 1] Let's smoke.
-[man 2] Who's got the smokes?
We have a different type
of smoke right here, bro.
Here you go, T Bird. Smoke up.
[man] Hold my bowl.
-Give me that 20 bucks.
-[man] We're going cruising.
Got a lighter?
Give me a lighter.
Got a lighter right here, bro.
-Give him the lighter.
-You got the lighter.
What are you guys
doing out here?
[man] Cruising.
Snatching up fucking
white men around here?
Looking for bums
like you, T Bird.
-Yeah.
-[T Bird] Why?
-You can fight, right?
-For fighting.
Fuck yeah, you can fight.
Look at that.
-[men exclaiming]
-"Fuck you"?
-Fuck you!
-Oh, shit.
-T Bird! T Bird!
-Fuck everybody, yeah!
-Yeah.
-Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Fuck! He's gonna fucking
kill him! Kill him!
Fucking kill, man.
He's the guy right here, man.
How old are you, T Bird?
How long you been
on the streets for?
Not sure. I've been on
the street my whole life.
[wailing]
[T Bird's mom sighs] Okay.
T Bird, stop crying.
[sighs]
Holy shit. You're so...
So... ugh, gross.
[T Bird crying]
Stop that crying.
[soft country music playing]
Oh, you're gonna be just fine.
Let's get this stinky
shit sack off you, huh?
[T Bird continues crying]
[T Bird's mom sighs]
Once upon a time, there
was a little birdie.
Yeah.
And he lost his wings.
He couldn't fly.
And he was stuck
in a place like this.
[crying]
And then the bird...
could never fly again.
[clears throat]
-And that's me and you.
-[crying]
I just fucking can't
stand the sound!
Oh...
[mystical music playing]
[mystical music
turns suspenseful]
[exhaling sharply]
[horn honks]
Yeah!
You feel the need...
to buy some speed.
The least motherfucker.
Look at this guy.
Fuckface.
What a jackass.
I might stop and beat his ass.
That asshole.
Gotta see his fucking
dumb ass every fucking day.
[metal clanging]
Well, fuck you, then!
Fuck you, then. Fuck you!
Hey! Hey!
Hey! I need $5.
I need $5.
I need $5. Don't make
me do it. I need $5.
Put the money in the bag.
Put the money in the bag!
The $5.
Put the $5 in
the motherfucking bag.
The $5 in the
motherfucking bag right now!
I'll fucking kill you!
I'll fucking kill you
with this lightning bolt.
I'll stick this
fucking lightning bolt
right through your
goddamn skull, okay?
Five dollars!
Put it in the bag.
Put it in the bag right now!
Put it in the bag!
Put the $5 in the
fucking bag, all right?
I'll fucking slit
your goddamn throat
with this rusty piece of iron.
-I need $5.
-Five dollars?
No, you can't have $5.
[stammers]
Put the fucking money
in the bag!
-No. No, I--
-Put the fucking money
in the bag!
Hey, Jason, what are you doing?
[dramatic music playing]
[child]
To make more money...
Look in your eye.
Look in your eye.
Oh... makeup, makeup.
[child speaks indistinctly]
-Kevin. Kevin.
-What's up, my boy?
Yeah, what's up, man?
You got it.
All right. Give me
the money. We're okay.
I got this money.
Here you go. It's all yours.
It's all right there.
All right there.
[T Bird whispers indistinctly]
[exclaims]
Thank you, Kevin.
[whoops, laughs]
[exclaiming]
Yeah, baby. We're going down!
Whoa-ho!
Yeah!
[glass shatters, tires
screech, cars crashing]
[tires screech,
car crashes]
[dramatic music playing]
[T Bird yells]
This is my waters!
[imitating machine-gun fire]
[dramatic music
continues playing]
[T Bird exclaims]
[Hercules] Wow. Check this out.
These motherfuckers multiply
every day like mosquitoes.
So nice.
It's really not. These people
on the side last year.
Fuck.
Like mosquitoes, man,
I swear to God. Mosquitoes.
[coughs softly]
Bloodsuckers.
[chuckles]
[electronic music playing]
Hey! That's my blanket!
Come on, you moth--
[grunting]
[T Bird imitating
Bruce Lee yelling]
[groaning]
[wheezes, coughing]
[weakly] Motherfucker!
[yells]
-Help! Motherfucker! Help!
-[T Bird yelling]
[yells]
[groans, coughing weakly]
-Fuck you!
-[T Bird] My blanket.
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
-[woman 1] Wow. Nice car.
-[woman 2] Shut the fuck up!
Don't look at him.
Just look at me.
Get in.
[ominous music playing]
[car drives by]
-Hey, you got a cigarette?
-[woman] Nope.
-You got something to eat?
-Nope.
Smoke some weed?
[ominous music playing]
[knocking on window]
Are you gonna
get us a cigarette?
You got a cigarette? I could
have a cigarette for you?
[engine starts]
Just give me a little cigarette.
Oh, come on, bro.
Oh, come on, bro.
I like that car, man.
Hey, I'll tell you one thing.
I've always wanted a Bentley.
Ever since I can remember...
I've always wanted a Bentley.
[dramatic music playing]
[door squeaks]
[child wailing]
[child] Let me go, let me go!
[woman] Why is it
so hot in here?
I don't know.
-[air conditioner blowing]
-You want me to dance for you?
[girl giggles]
[dog barking]
[dramatic music
continues playing]
[exhaling]
[music fades out]
[ominous music playing]
[door clattering]
[door squeaks]
[voices arguing indistinctly]
[heels clacking]
[Markus] Hey.
-[Hercules] Hey. How are you?
-[Markus] Fine, fine.
[Hercules] So, what are you
looking for today?
[Markus] Oh, the usual. Just
something fresh. I, uh... Uh...
[Hercules] Something new?
Something new?
[suspenseful music playing]
[gulls cawing]
[indistinct chattering]
[suspenseful music
continues playing]
[crying]
[exhales deeply]
[traffic passing by]
[air brakes hiss]
Put them back!
Put them back! Hey!
Hey! I will kill you,
motherfucker! Put them back!
Ever since
the day you were born,
you've been making my life
-a living hell.
-[young T Bird cries]
So I'm going to show you
what it's like, okay?
You're going to sit here and
you're going to think about it.
[Seth Fleming's
"Methamphetamine" playing]
[exhales deeply]
[T Bird's mom] Come on,
stop that crying.
Crying is for pussies.
You're not a pussy, are you?
[sniffles]
You already ruined my life,
you little shit.
Now you're gonna
sit here and cry?
You want to cry? I make you sad?
Yeah. Yeah, you don't like that?
That's why you gotta listen.
You listen to me.
I'm your mom.
You listen to me, okay?
I don't wanna see
any more of those tears.
You wipe those tears,
okay? Wipe them.
And you aren't going to get
anywhere in life. Okay, kid?
[Boss] Fine, fine, fine,
fine, fine, fine, fine.
Something needs to be done
with the dead bodies.
Something needs to be done.
-With the dead bodies?
-With the dead bodies.
What do you want to do with 'em?
They're just there. They're just
dead. They don't do anything.
-[siren approaching]
-Oh, maybe it's them.
-Maybe it's them going to it.
-[siren moves farther away]
Very possible. [inhales deeply]
Oh, shit. A drone on TV. Look
at that, it's a drone flying.
Look at these peop--
A lot of people coming, Frank.
That's a lot of people coming.
-[horns honking]
-Yeah.
-Hey, you want some fun?
-[yells]
[TV reporter]
--where the actual protest
-that has broken out...
-[horns honking]
-[indistinct chatter over PA]
-[helicopter whirring overhead]
-[sirens wailing]
-[helicopter whirring]
[discordant music playing]
[mumbling]
-[breathes sharply]
-[man whoops]
What? What do you want
from me? What do you want?
You? You're just a tree.
[siren wailing]
[man yells indistinctly]
[car alarm blaring,
people yelling indistinctly]
[man] Let's go. Whoo!
That's what I'm
talking about, y'all.
That's what
I'm talking about, y'all.
[reporter speaking
indistinctly on broadcast]
[T Bird yells indistinctly]
[sirens wailing]
[speaking indistinctly]
Mean motherfucker!
[Boss] No way. No way!
Frank. That's T Bird.
-[gunshot]
-[laughing]
I tear gas for breakfast.
I tear gas for breakfast!
I eat tear gas for breakfast!
[Hercules] I never had my dick
sucked going across the bridge.
There you go.
Oh, fuck. Suck my cock. Come on.
Oh... Okay, wait, wait, wait.
I'm gonna come.
[moans]
[exhales sharply]
Okay.
Oh, I just lost a couple
pounds. Thank you.
Feel like my pants are looser.
[laughs]
Something's wrong with me.
I don't know what it is.
[chuckles]
[both chuckle]
I'm gonna feel
like Chinese later.
I ain't got no choice, huh?
-No choice.
-Why?
-It's all business, though.
-It's all business.
-This is--
-That's what you taught me.
Well, this isn't business.
This is kind of like...
This is kind of like, uh,
the fruits of business.
[both chuckle]
It's the banana split of
business. But it's not a fruit.
That's a-- That's a banana.
That's ice cream.
[both laugh]
[Giselle] I don't know, so...
[Hercules chuckles]
[woman speaks indistinctly]
[Hercules] Oh, shit.
Someone should bring a fucking
goddamn bulldozer out here
and kill all these
homeless people.
[clear throat] You know, if
I were-- If I were in charge,
I'd make people explain
to me what their, um...
Why they need to exist.
Like, what--
Why do you...? What--
Why are you here on Earth?
Yeah. You gotta...
explain to me.
[clears throat] You know, people
can't answer that question.
I mean, why am I here?
-To look after you. No?
-[chuckles] No.
-[chuckles]
-I don't know.
What am I here for?
What are you here for?
To help you.
-To help me?
-Mm-hmm.
So do you think that you were
sent to me by divine, um, grace?
-Yeah.
-Really?
-I mean, I'm here--
-I'm a bad man.
If you're bad, then I'm bad.
I'm, um...
I mean, just the word.
"Sex-trafficking...
mm, homophobic, racist pig."
[both laughing]
That's how I'd be characterized
in the media, you know?
That's why I think we may
need to do some good deeds,
like kill some homeless people,
you know what I mean?
[both laugh]
Or teach little girls
how to come.
I think that's what I'll do.
What do you think?
-Did I teach you?
-Yeah.
Come here.
[Hercules sighs]
[Hercules] Where's
this Chink at?
Chink-Chonk, huh!
[imitating Chinese accent]
How are you? How are you, sir?
Hey, I brought you
these, uh, North Korean...
[normal voice]
Oh, you're here. Here. Okay.
[indistinct conversation]
[Hercules clears throat]
[speaks in foreign language]
[ominous music playing]
[Hercules] What the fuck?
-Wha--? This one's African.
-Oh, this is Chinese.
Half-- Half African,
half Chinese.
In southern China, there's
a lot of them around, you know.
-Good market.
-Me Chinese. Me play joke.
I just wasn't to see expecting
any niggers in here. Except her.
-[laughs]
-[girl giggles]
[dealer] Nigger and his nigger.
Money is money.
That's right. Um...
So look...
[clears throat] Deal.
There's 10.
[Hercules sighs]
All right. Uh, buddy,
this is Uncle John.
[speaks in foreign language]
[Hercules] Come on. Come on.
[alarm blaring]
[motorcycle racing outside]
[electronic music playing]
-[alarm continues blaring]
-[car alarm wailing outside]
We gonna take over the world!
We gonna take over the world!
[yelling]
[alarms blaring]
[man] Go, go!
[looters yelling indistinctly]
-[woman] T Bird.
-Oh, yeah. [chuckles] Yeah!
[man] I ain't fucking with cash.
[man] T Bird.
[T Bird laughs, mumbling]
-[laughing]
-[T Bird] You got a cigarette?
I do. Here you go, bro.
-You got a lighter?
-I don't got a lighter.
-Who's got a lighter?
-Right here.
-Dude, you got the lighter, dog?
-Got it.
Fuck the police! Fuck the
government! Fuck your teachers!
I swear to God, I see a homeless
motherfucker around here,
I'm gonna cut his throat.
Bitch.
[chuckles]
-Whoa!
-[tires screech]
[Hercules] Son of a bitch.
What the fuck?
Motherfucker!
Hit my goddamn car!
-[Hercules groaning]
-[helicopter whirring overhead]
You mother-- Look what you
did to my car, motherfucker!
-[T Bird groans]
-What you gonna do about it?
-[yelling]
-What you doing--?
Are you bullshitting me?
You want me to beat your ass?
Huh? Is that it? You--
You-- [mock yells]
[Hercules laughs]
Like dogs, huh,
motherfucker? You like dogs?
[T Bird yelling in pain]
Are you fucking piece of shit!
How do you like that?
[T Bird yells]
[both yell]
[T Bird yelling]
-Over here.
-[yells in pain]
[imitating martial-arts yelling]
Motherfucker. Motherfucker!
-[yelling in pain]
-This is America, motherfucker!
How do you like that?
[grunts] What the--
Strangle you, mother--!
I'm gonna kill you,
you motherfucker!
Hey! Welcome to America,
you piece of shit! [grunts]
[spits]
Be back to get my money.
I get my money...
for my car!
All right?
Mr. Style. Suck my
big American dick.
-[car door slams]
-[groaning]
[breathing heavily]
[dramatic music playing]
Uh, you know that these two
children are being neglected.
[knocks on door]
Hello? Let me in.
Let me in, please.
We have a warrant.
Hi. I'm sorry. Is it
okay if I come in? Hi!
-[child speaks indistinctly]
-[Andy] Look, I got a Muppet.
-Hi, I'm Fozzie. Breakfast?
-[boy giggles]
-Where's your mom?
-Um, in there.
[Andy] Is she in there?
Is she okay?
[officer] She's in here.
Ma'am?
What...? Who are you?
[officer] Come to
the living room, please.
[mumbling]
[woman] Is there
a room back here?
-Is it okay if we go back here?
-Yeah.
[woman] Do you take
sleeping medication?
Do you know what
drugs are? Drugs?
Like green-- Like
green flower thingy?
-[Andy] Yeah. That's just...
-Yeah.
Why don't I take you kids
outside real quick?
I want to talk to you.
Look, it's such a beautiful
sunset, isn't it?
-[Sunny] Whoa!
-[Andy] Yeah.
Let's go look at that.
Oh! Wow.
It looks like a painter
painted it, doesn't it?
Okay, you guys need to
get in the car. Thank you.
-Ma'am--
-No, you're not taking my kids.
-Get off of me! Get off of me!
-[child crying]
-You're under arrest.
-Drive away!
-[officer] Let's go, right now.
Tell it to the judge, lady.
-Tell it to the judge.
-[mother] No!
[Hercules] Brother
and sister, yeah?
Age?
Attractive?
Um...
Hey, look, I don't want to talk
about anything else
on the phone, so I'll...
I'll, uh-- I'll call you later.
We'll set up a meeting.
Bye. Bye.
Sounds good. Let's see.
Maybe I just met
a couple million bucks
or my future wife, I'm not sure.
I'd have a hard time explaining.
She's 6 years old.
[chuckles]
[singing indistinctly]
[Seth Fleming's
"Methamphetamine" playing]
Yeah.
I'm gonna have to have you wait
in the car for a little bit,
ahem, 'cause I gotta get
some stuff for myself
before I go to work,
and I want you to be
a good boy, okay?
I want you to sit here and wait.
Don't talk to no strangers.
And, um...
sit your little butt right
down, okay? [clears throat]
[train horn blows in distance]
[engine shuts off]
All right, you wait here, okay,
T Bird? I'll be right back.
Hey, how does Mama look?
Do I look good?
Are you gonna look?
All right. Fine.
Just wait here, then, okay?
It's really hot.
[panting]
Mom!
Mom!
Mom!
[panting]
[T Bird groans weakly]
Come here. You all right?
You all right? Let's go.
Put the Bentley in the bag!
The Bentley in the bag!
[motorcycle engine revving]
Put the Bentley in the bag now!
Put the Bentley in the bag!
[sobs]
Put the fucking Bentley
in the bag!
She left me in the car.
My mom left me in
the car. It got hot.
They gave her the gas chamber.
They saved me.
They busted the window out.
And that's my family.
[laughing manically]
Bunch of pedophiles.
[mumbles angrily]
[gentle country music playing]
[panting]
-[grunts] Wha--?!
-[T Bird] Fuck you!
-Come on, T Bird.
-Goddamn it, man!
-What are you doing?
-What the fuck?
You the fuck-- My goddamn mouth.
Oh, Uncle T Bird stupid, right?
-Yeah.
-Oh, what the fuck, boss?
-[laughing]
-Look at that shit!
Motherfucker!
I fucking came here to fucking
ask for your help, man.
You fucking punched me
in the fucking face!
Don't sneak up on me, buddy,
you know that.
Come on, let's do it. Relax.
Oh, fuck, man.
You got any of those pills...
that I got you? I need
some of those pills, man.
I'm fucking eating
out of the trash
and some hot wings had
some poop or something on 'em.
Stomach hurts so goddamn bad,
man. You got those pills?
-Nope, I don't.
-None of those?
-I need some more.
-Oh, fuck.
-Can you get me some more?
-No, I can't.
I ain't seen that fucking guy.
-What guy?
-The guy I got the pills from.
The guy, I fucking took
him to the goddamn store.
Need to get the strongest pills.
-Strongest pills they got.
-Okay.
-For pain, okay?
-Uh-huh.
[Boss] Dude, I saw you
on the news,
like, a couple of months ago.
-Was that a cop car on fire?
-Yeah.
-Did you light it?
-No.
I'm gonna kill this fucker
in that Bentley, man!
Guy hit me in
the fucking street.
Hit me in the fucking
street, all right?
Maced me, fucking beat me down.
Beat my ass.
Couldn't fucking see.
They found another dead body
in the wetlands down there.
-Whose was it?
-We don't know.
It was right out in front.
What guy you talking about?
This fucking guy in a Bentley.
Some fucking white pedophile.
-Fucking child molester.
-Okay, so we need
to beat the shit out
of the guy, then, okay?
-Gonna fucking kill him!
-Beat the shit out of the guy.
I'll show you something. Come
on. Let's go. Let's go outside.
Okay. Let me tell you first,
never take your eyes
off your opponent.
All right? And always look
at their hands, because--
"Oh, no. Sorry. I don't want to
have anything to do with--" Gah!
And if you didn't see this one,
your throat is slit, and it's
over and out. That's right.
-[grunts, exclaims]
-You're done.
Yeah. Yeah, you can do
that as well. All right.
Boh! That's the first thing
to do, a kick to the groin.
Everybody underestimates
the kick to the--
-[yells]
-That's the first thing to do.
And then follow it up,
bang, bang, bang!
And a little bit of donk, donk,
donk! And there you go.
You're going down. See?
Very simple.
-Pow!
-Oh! There we go, brother.
-That's it, that's it.
-Dangly-dangly dang!
That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But a little bit of compact.
A little bit more compact. Kick.
Dangly-dangly--
-Oh!
-Dangly-dangly dang!
-Oh!
-Dang, dang, dang, dang.
-Okay, okay! [laughs]
-Dang!
You're loving it.
All right, now,
after the kick
to the balls, poof,
most of the time they come down
and now you can
knee him in the face.
Knee him in the face.
Maybe a sneaky left elbow.
Watch this. Pow! That's
a left elbow right there.
And lookie, look
what we got here.
What is that? Right?
Smack his face,
-smack his face, smack his face.
-[laughing]
If it's sharp and pointy,
that's the way you want to go.
[T Bird chuckling]
Oh, you like that, right?
Okay. Okay, so--
We can also deliver, right?
Also deliver.
Stand still and then, pop,
head-butt out of nothing.
Right in the fucking face.
-All right?
-Pop!
That's right, brother.
You don't want to load up.
You want to start, go pop!
You see? Don't load up,
because--
-Pop!
-Oh, that's a good one.
That's a good one.
All right, now see
if you can do this thing.
Hold him. See? You can't
see shit right now, right?
Now what I can do is a full
load of boom, an elbow.
And of course,
I can follow it up
with any freaking punch I like.
What about this?
Well, you can't see like--
-Hang on. This way, like this?
-Yeah. And then that elbow...
-Boom!
-Ooh! Yeah, that's it.
-Then you throw the left, aah!
-That's it. That's it.
That's what you want to do.
I like that neck crank.
The neck crank? You want to
know how to kill somebody?
-I want to kill that fucker.
-Okay, so put somebody forward,
-Across face, look.
-[grunts]
You feel that already?
Pop it. Right.
-And now I'm gonna lift you...
-No, no!
...and you're gonna
freaking break your neck.
You understand that?
That's a badass move
right there, brother.
That's a badass move
right there.
Try it out on me.
Be careful, though.
-The bang!
-Oh! That's right.
Grab your bicep like this...
-Ahh!
-Very good.
-And then just snap it.
-[yells]
-[laughing]
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Like water! Like water!
-[Boss] Yeah!
-[imitating Bruce Lee]
Good.
Oh-ho, you're ready, brother!
You're ready. Hut!
-[yelling]
-[grunting]
-Come on. Oh!
-[panting]
-[Andy] Get in there.
-[Hercules] Oh, look who's here.
[Mikaylah] Sunny! Sunny!
[Andy] Children, children.
These ones are Mikaylah...
Mikaylah.
-She's pretty. Hi, Mikaylah.
-[Andy] Two...
children that need to
be fostered for $33,000.
-[Hercules] Giselle!
-[Andy] Mika--
[Hercules] Ice cream, please.
Oh, yeah. You guys
like ice cream? Yeah.
-Do you?
-You know how you spell it?
-[Andy] Oh. Where'd you go?
-[Sunny] I can do it.
-[Hercules] Get me a Coke.
-How do--?
-[Sunny] I can do it.
-How do you spell?
Just tell me. I'm gonna
write it, though.
-Uh...
-All right, fine. You do it.
Why don't you do it?
And by the way...
[Sunny] Okay, okay.
I know how to do it.
Mikaylah, let me get a look--
Let me look at her.
Come here.
Wanna look at you closer.
[Andy mumbles]
-[Hercules] Come here.
-[Andy] Don't...
you creep out on me.
[Hercules] Oh, look at
that skin. She's so pretty.
-I'm gonna keep you, okay?
-[Andy] Get my money.
[kisses]
[Hercules] Yeah.
-[Andy] This is Diet Coke.
-Yeah.
Hey. Uh, get my money.
It's in the fag bag.
Thanks, babe.
Real Gucci with real money
for a real fag.
[Hercules laughs]
-[Andy] Here you go.
-[Hercules] Here you go.
-Bye!
-[laughs]
And listen, I'm all for LGBT--
LGB-- Whatever the fucking
faggots-- You guys are doing.
You know, it's--
It's all good. It's all good.
You want to suck some dick in
the day? I don't give a fuck.
-I'm out. I am out.
-[Hercules] Creep.
You're the creep.
[Hercules] Be the person
I really am.
Beat your fucking ass.
Come here, Mikaylah.
You're with daddy now.
Your big daddy.
Mikaylah, what are you doing,
taking off your clothes?
Not yet, baby. [laughs]
Not yet. Not yet. [laughing]
Hercules is here.
You don't wanna watch
this yet. Come here, baby.
[sighs]
Go on. Play with your brother.
Go play with your brother.
Play with your brother.
I'll get rid of that little
motherfucker in a minute.
Hey, call-- Yeah.
Get rid of the kid. The boy.
Get rid of the boy.
The boy, get rid of him.
Go make the call.
You forgot? Yeah, fairly.
[ominous music playing]
[Markus] Hey.
[Hercules] Hey, how are you?
[Markus] Fine, fine.
[Hercules] Something new?
Something new?
-[Markus] Uh...
-Hang on.
-[Markus] What? What's this?
-What?
I thought you said
he was white?
-[Hercules] He is white.
-[Markus] He's not white.
Why you questioning--
He's not Mexican. He's white.
-Ask him a question.
-[Markus] No. No.
-He speaks-- He speaks English.
-No.
He looks like any
other kid on the border.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Then go to
the fucking border, you faggot.
Buy one at the border.
This kid speaks English.
-Ask him a question.
-[Markus] What's your name?
-Sunny.
-[Markus] He is cute though.
-[Hercules] He's cute, yeah.
-He's really cute. Oh.
-Hey, Sunny.
-[Hercules] Hey, Sunny.
-I'm Markus.
-He's Markus.
[Markus] Do you like
to play games?
Do you want to go to my house?
-Hey, what are you playing?
-This.
Yeah?
What are your favorite games?
"Zombies" and "Roblox."
And... And...
-And Spider-Man games and...
-[Markus] Wow.
Oh, we're gonna have
so much fun together.
That sounds really great.
Hey. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here we go.
-[Hercules speaks indistinctly]
-Yeah.
[Hercules] It's Trade
and Child Services,
-adoption papers.
-Oh, it's adoption?
All right.
-The money.
-[Hercules] The money.
-[Markus] Okay.
-[Hercules speaks indistinctly]
[Markus] Yeah-- Oh, yes.
I see, I see that.
We're gonna get you
all cleaned up.
Oh, we're gonna
have so much fun.
[ominous music intensifies]
[music stops]
-[man 1] Whoo, bum fights!
-[man 2] Right here.
[man 1] Bum fights!
-Whoo! You wanna make 5 bucks?
-Yeah.
Give you 3 bucks right now
if you get in the van.
-Okay.
-Come on, come on, come on.
[man 3] Let's go, bro.
-Give me 3 bucks.
-I'll pay you right now.
-Oh, shit.
-[T Bird] Yeah. Nice.
[man 1] What you gonna do
with that money?
-[man 2] Find a shower.
-Save it.
You smell like piss. Why
don't you drink some piss?
[man 3] Pull out. Yeah. Perfect.
[man 4] Five bucks, you
drink the piss right now.
-[man 1] Oh, no. Oh, shit!
-[all exclaiming]
-Yeah!
-Let's go!
-[T Bird yelling]
-[men cheering, laughing]
-[man 1] Get ready to fight.
-[man 2] Are you ready?
[man 1] Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Look, by the trash can.
-[men chanting] T Bird, T Bird!
-You getting this?
What the fuck? Get the fuck--
Get out of here!
-What the fuck?
-Wait, hold on, stinky!
This is bum fights!
You want to make 20 bucks?
Twenty bucks? Get
the fuck out of here.
[man] All you gotta do is
fight T Bird.
Who's T Bird?
Fucking T Bird.
Who's fucking T Bird?
-[man] Get out here, T Bird.
-[Hillbilly] You wanna fight?
-Hey, what's your name?
-Hillbilly, man.
This is Hillbilly.
Hillbilly, this is T Bird.
-T Bird, this is Hillbilly.
-Oh, shit, 20 bucks?
-Let's go for it!
-We need you two to square up.
All right. Square up.
-Oh, shit! Only in bum fights.
-[overlapping comments]
Come on. Yeah.
[man laughs]
[Hillbilly] Come on, man.
What the--?
[indistinct comments, laughter]
-Oh, shit!
-[all exclaim]
[overlapping comments]
Oh, oh? Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
[all laughing]
[man] Oh, head lock!
Let's go! Oh, shit!
Let's go, bro. Let's go,
let's go, let's go.
[Hillbilly groaning]
[man] Hey, use the elbow.
Use the elbow!
[aggressive music playing]
[man] The champion.
T Bird, new bum fight champion.
[Hillbilly] Who's got my $20?
[T Bird grunting]
Fucking hide behind a car?
Oh, you gonna hide
behind the car?
[gasping]
[hissing]
[glass shatters]
[T Bird whispers indistinctly]
How much money I got?
I'm not the world's
Most passionate guy
But I know what I am
And I'm glad I'm a man
So is Lola, L-O-L-A, Lola
La-la-la-la, Lola
That was bomb.
That's a badass tune.
That must be the coolest
man in the whole world, huh?
I dig that song. Hey,
what's this, huh? This is cool.
I like this too.
[Jefferson Airplane's "Go
Ask Alice" playing on radio]
[blinker clicking]
[dramatic music playing]
[upbeat electronic
music playing]
-[T Bird yells]
-[tires screech]
-[driver] What the fuck?
-Get out of the car!
Get the fuck out of the car!
[driver] Fuck you!
Come on. Come on, asshole.
You just come on.
I wanna fuck with you.
[engine revs]
White people's days
are numbered.
They don't even know it.
[Hercules] Fucking
minority now, man.
So now you gotta become
like the mayor or the governor
so you can order
the executions. [chuckles]
Of the skeeters. White folks
are becoming the skeeters.
[chuckles]
"What do you do for a living?"
"Oh, I'm just a skeeter.
I suck blood."
[upbeat electronic
music playing]
[birds caw]
[Hercules] Hey. Um...
teach her how to give
me a massage. All right?
[Hercules sighs]
So I'm going to show you
how to give daddy
the massage he likes, okay?
So you start at the shoulders,
and you want to go
as hard as you can.
-[Hercules] No, not too hard.
-Not too hard, though.
[fire escape creaks]
[suspenseful music playing]
[indistinct conversation]
[Markus laughs] Well,
that was fast.
-Okay. So, what's this?
-Papers. Adoption papers.
[hums softly]
[driver] Got a hat for you, huh?
-He's cute, isn't he?
-There you go.
He's a good kid.
His name is T Bird.
-[driver] T Bird.
-[Jack] T Bird.
[driver] T Bird?
What's his real name?
I started calling him T Bird
'cause his mom
locked him in the back
of a frickin' Thunderbird...
and it was boiling in there.
I don't know how long he was in,
but it kind of fucked
him up a little bit.
-So...
-These are $350 each.
-You want two more?
-All right.
It's not a big deal.
Don't worry about it.
Just give me two more.
It's all right.
-I'll give you one more.
-No, uh, that's okay.
You don't have to give me
one more, two more.
-I'll just stick to getting--
-No, no, no. All right.
Two, two, two more,
two more, two more.
Fuck it. You got it, you got it.
It's yours. Take it, take it.
All right, buddy, come on.
You come up here, sweetheart.
That's my kid. That's my boy.
That's a boy. There you go.
[Hercules] You don't
want to do it?
-[Mikaylah] Where's my brother?
-[Hercules mumbles]
-[Giselle] Mm, I don't know.
-[Hercules] Give her some time.
-Give her some time.
-Um...
-Take her to find her brother.
-...here.
-[Hercules] He's over there.
-Come on.
[Mikaylah] Sunny?
Where's Sunny?
He went to go get
some ice cream.
He'll be back soon.
No, I want him back now.
Um, well...
How about we go
get some ice cream
and we'll go--
We'll go find him?
No, I want my brother.
-Let's-- let's not yell, okay?
-No, I want my brother.
-Why are you yelling?
-'Cause I want my brother.
[Hercules] Tell her
to stop yelling.
-Stop yelling.
-No! I want my brother!
You're gonna make daddy mad
if you keep yelling.
No, I want my brother!
Where's my brother?
[Hercules] All right, listen.
Hey, he went to the toy store.
He went to the toy store.
You wanna go?
We'll go to the toy store.
-No, I want my brother.
-[Hercules] We'll go meet him.
I want my brother!
Where's my brother?
-[Hercules] Okay, okay.
-I want my brother!
-[Hercules] Okay.
-Where is he?
[Hercules] He's at the
toy store. Come with me.
Where's-- No! Where is he?
[Hercules] He's at the toy
store, honey. Let's go.
We'll go get him together. Okay?
-Okay? Come on.
-I want my brother!
-Stop yelling.
-No. I want my brother!
-Stop yelling.
-I want my brother!
You're gonna piss me the
fuck off and you're gonna--
I don't care.
I want my brother!
He's at the toy store,
you little bitch.
-You want to meet him?
-Yes.
Come with me.
Come on. Go. Come on,
go on. You go.
-[T Bird] Hey, remember me?
-[Hercules groans]
Aah! There you go.
Now you got it.
[choir singing over
indistinct dialogue]
-[neck snapping]
-[T Bird grunting]
[T Bird yelling]
Where's your mace now, bitch?
Fuck you. Got some money?
You got some money, asshole?
You got some fucking money?
Shit. This is mine now.
You neck-broke motherfucker.
-[Mikaylah] Where's my brother?
-[Giselle] Who the fuck are you?
-Where's my brother?
-Your brother's on the paper.
[Giselle] Where
the fuck is John?
How the fuck did you
get in here?
-[T Bird] Fucking dead.
-Where's my brother?
Fucking paper right here.
You guys are fucking bad people.
-Come here.
-[Mikaylah yelps]
I want my brother!
Where's my brother?
[T Bird] He's on this paper!
Where's my brother?
[T Bird] Fucking bad people.
-I want my brother back!
-I got your brother.
He's on this paper right here.
He fucking sold him.
He fucking sold your brother.
I saw it, all right?
[Giselle] Mikaylah, come on.
-You sold my brother?
-Come with me.
Don't make me knock you
the fuck out.
You sold my brother?
-[Mikaylah] No!
-Come on. What are you doing?
-No!
-What are you doing?
Why should I trust you,
you weirdo?
[screams] No!
Let me down!
Look, why don't you
trust me? Huh?
Stop biting. Ow, ow, ow!
What? What do you want?
What do you want?
Your brother's on this paper.
Look at all this money.
Look at all this money, huh?
This ain't for you.
It's for your brother.
Why do you think
I got this money?
I don't know.
How should I know that?
Because I told you.
It's for your brother.
-Come on. Let's go.
-No--
I'm not a bad guy.
Living in a car
fucked me up in the head.
[Mikaylah] My mom left me
in an RV for the whole time.
Well, they'll put
me on TV as a hero
if I save you and
I save your brother.
Be on the nightly news,
KTLA, again.
I was on the news last week.
Gonna be a hero, save the kids.
Come on. Where's my car? Whoo!
-[tires screech]
-[T Bird exclaims]
[imitates machine-gun fire]
Machine gun, motherfucker!
[tires screech]
Oh, fuck you. All right.
I think we got away with it.
None of the fucks coming.
Yeah, it's fucking
my Bentley now.
Okay, I gotta make
a couple stops first.
This paper, that's where
your brother's at.
I'll get a cell phone.
We gotta take this bitch.
I gotta paint it
so they know it's mine.
You hungry? You hungry at all?
Sorry, I didn't mean
to cuss and scare you.
I told you I was
a good guy. [sniffs]
This is the happiest
day of my life.
-[can rattling]
-Hey.
[laughs]
Want to do the roof?
Come on.
Do the roof.
Do whatever you want.
The roof is yours.
That shit right there! [laughs]
What's that say?
"I'm."
"I'm God"?
[laughs]
"I'm God."
[dramatic music playing]
Okay. Let's go.
Come on. We gotta go.
We gotta get your brother.
Get on in.
God. I like it. "I'm God."
-Here, come on, let's go.
-[yelps]
[T Bird] Get in there.
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
[engine starts]
-[horn honks]
-[exclaims]
I like what you
wrote back there.
"I am God." "I'm God."
-What made you write that?
-I don't know.
Please.
Please...
[Markus] Okay. You can play,
right? You can play.
Don't worry. Come on.
It's okay. Come on.
You're doing okay.
We're gonna have
so much fun. We are.
Do you wanna play
some more games?
Look. See? Nothing to cry about.
There it is.
-Whoa, that's a big house.
Your brother's inside.
Don't think you're gonna
be able to get in there.
You don't think? What are
you talking about?
I'll get in there right now.
I'll climb that wall.
Climb that pole. Climb
the back of that horse.
There's too many cameras.
[T Bird] Be cool.
-I got an idea.
-What?
I can make you
a famous TikToker.
-What's a TikToker?
-TikTok.
I don't know, it's an app.
I've never been on it,
but it's an app where people
make videos and get famous.
You can trim your hair, can
shave your beard and mustache.
I can give you a new
tattoo, a cool tattoo,
and then... get new clothes.
-[T Bird] Yeah.
-[Mikaylah] And then--
I've always wanted
to be a rapper.
So I say I'm a rapper
and say we want to shoot
a music video.
-For TikTok. Yeah.
-For TikTok.
And I'll show him the money.
Like I'm going to pay him
the money to get in.
Okay. What about your teeth?
I just gotta scrape
them off with, like, a...
A hammer... or a screwdriver.
No, that's gonna
make it worse.
Golden teeth. We get
you golden teeth.
[T Bird laughs]
Get a cool grill.
Get a cool grill.
-[dramatic music playing]
-[trimmer buzzing]
-Whoa.
-[Mikaylah giggles]
[chuckles]
Sometimes I taste
my food on my mustache.
Don't leave yourself
unblocked. Here we go.
You-- You have to go here. Good.
Well, let's see now. Okay.
Okay. So I'm gonna
protect that with that.
[doorbell rings]
Did you hear that?
Who's here?
Did you invite anyone?
-[Sunny] No.
-Hey. Hey. Hey, little one.
Did you invite anybody?
-Are you sure he's here?
-[T Bird] We're gonna find out.
[Markus sighs]
Oh, my God.
What is going on? Hi.
-Can I help you?
-[T Bird] Um...
We want to-- Okay, so
we're looking for a mansion.
And we were looking for
a mansion for a rap video.
See, I'm a rapper,
and so I was wondering
if maybe we could, uh,
take a look at your mansion,
see if it's the right
mansion for us.
Well, uh, God, I don't
know, but how much--
Well, how much are you
paying, first of all?
How much money is it?
-Uh, a million.
-[Markus] Oh, yeah--
[T Bird] I'll give you
a deposit right now.
-Well--
-[T Bird] Just, just--
Just for your time and just
letting us see the mansion.
-[Markus] Well...
-[T Bird] And letting us in.
-Oh, God. Fine, fine.
-[T Bird] It's her dream.
-I'm sure. I'm-- Who isn't?
-It's her dream.
I know, everyone thinks
they're a star.
-She's got cancer.
-[Markus] Oh.
Sir, I hope you are not lying,
because that would
be really fucked up.
Like, wow. Jesus.
-I ain't lying.
-[Markus] Life sucks, man.
At least I still
have some of my hair.
She could beat it. Especially
if we made a video.
[Markus] Oh, my God.
Okay, our housekeeper's off
and my boyfriend's not home.
And it's just me
and my little boy. So...
Just have to make it quick.
All right.
[T Bird] Oh, you got
a little boy?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're just
playing in the house right now,
so... But I can
show you really fast.
How long have you had
him? How old is he?
Oh, he's 6. He's so good.
He's a really nice boy.
And, uh, yeah, we
adopted him recently,
so we're really happy and proud,
and it's been amazing.
Uh, you can just shoot
outside. It's just us.
It's me, the dog, the cars.
Whatever you do,
don't touch the cars.
Speaking of, how old
are you? You're so cute.
-I'm 9.
-Oh, that's sweet. My boy's 6.
Let's take-- Let's
check out the house.
Well, I'd rather not
really do the house,
because I'm a little, you
know, nervous about it, but--
[T Bird] Well, we're-- We run
a small crew. Don't worry.
She actually is
the cameraman. Woman.
-Camera-- Camera. Camera kid.
-Got it. You're the camera kid.
Wow. Is that on your phone?
-Um, no, it's on camera.
-Oh, you're so cute.
You're such a cute girl.
All right, so here's the house.
As you can see.
So here's the hall.
And then this room
over here you can use.
[suspenseful music playing]
All this.
The ceiling's amazing.
Fun, right?
So, uh...
where are the cameras?
Uh, what do you mean,
the cameras?
We got the kitchen here if you
need some water, bathrooms here.
So, easy, you know? That's good.
-Is that him?
-[Markus] We're going back--
Wait, what's
what's happening now?
-Mika!
-Sunny!
[Markus] What? How do
you know each other?
What's-- What's--?
-[choir singing]
-[Markus screaming]
[T Bird] Can't get away from
me, fucker! Come here, get up!
I'm gonna break your
fucking neck, you hear me?
-Motherfucker!
-[screaming]
[neck cracking]
-[T Bird] You good?
-It's okay.
[upbeat music playing]
[Sunny and Mikaylah
humming tune]
[T Bird] We just got here.
The fun's just starting.
-What? Want a punch?
-This is all ours.
-[Mikaylah yells joyfully]
-[imitating Bruce Lee]
[T Bird] Stuff on
the ceiling and shit.
-[Mikaylah] Sunny, come on.
-[Sunny exclaiming]
-[T Bird] Come on, red!
-[ball rattling]
Come on, baby, red!
Daddy needs a new Bentley!
[T Bird whoops]
-[Mikaylah yelps]
-[Sunny exclaiming]
-[Mikaylah] Get over now.
-[playing haltingly]
[laughs dramatically]
[playing chords]
[Sunny giggles]
[Sunny] Yah!
Yah!
Yeah, stupid!
[footsteps approaching]
[Sunny] Maybe...
Are you trying to get
the rainbow eye?
I know. I did that too.
[spray can rattles,
then hissing]
[Mikaylah grunts]
[whispers] Rainbow eye.
[Mikaylah] I'm okay. Okay.
Go, go, go, go.
Sit down, sit down.
Go, go, go, go! Go!
-[dramatic music playing]
-[kids chattering]
-[Mikaylah] Get a hotel.
-[T Bird] Circus Circus.
[Sunny speaks indistinctly]
[Mikaylah] Yeah.
That sounds fun.
[laughs]
[Sunny] What?
-[T Bird] That's great.
-Yeah.
[T Bird] Am I going...
-to Circus Circus?
-[Sunny] Yeah.
-Yeah.
-[T Bird chuckles]
[Sunny] What's Circus Circus?
[T Bird] It's a hotel
with a circus.
I think they got monkeys
in there too.
[Mikaylah] Yeah.
[all chattering indistinctly]
[dramatic music
continues playing]
You're a funny kid.
Was that really funny?
Is that funny?
-Is that a funny face?
-[giggles]
Is Mom's face funny?
-[giggling] Yeah.
-Mmm!
-[laughs]
-Aah!
[T Bird speaks indistinctly]
[T Bird's mom] Okay.
I'm following you, kid.
T Bird, that's not a very
efficient way to travel.
You want that? That's a
paintbrush. You can use it.
You can take that. That's
treasure. All right.
Now you got a new paintbrush.
Let's see, what
else can we find?
What else do you
want to take...
A bottle? No. That's heavy.
All right. I spy
with my little eye...
something...
red.
-Um, that thing over there.
-Yeah. You got it.
-Let's go.
[Sunny speaks indistinctly]
-You ready to get some toys?
-[both] Yeah.
[T Bird] All right.
-Let's go.
-[Sunny] Yeah.
-[music plays over speaker]
-[Mikaylah speaks indistinctly]
[T Bird] Marshmello, kids?
-[T Bird] Okay. Let's go.
-[both] Thank you, T Bird.
You're welcome.
[Sunny] Yeah, boy.
Oh, I dropped something.
[Mikaylah speaks indistinctly]
-[T Bird] Welcome...
-[Sunny] Let's go!
-...to my humble abode.
-[kids whooping]
[Mikaylah] Oh, my God!
-[T Bird] We live here now.
-Let's open this one.
Hey, guys.
This is for college.
[kids chattering indistinctly]
And this...
This is for my funeral.
And this...
is for your first car.
And this...
for cheeseburgers
for the rest of your life.
Yeah!
You want to give to the poor?
You want to give to the poor?
Hey, I know how you all poor
like I used to be.
Here you go. This one's for you.
[tattoo gun buzzing]
[T Bird] Did you ever get
to meet your dad?
No.
[T Bird] Me either.
I always used to
wonder about my dad.
Like, I used to think
he was, like, really good
or, like, really successful.
Like, he was like a...
Like a really good businessman.
Like, he was really rich.
And he, like, conquered
other people's countries.
And he used to ride in
on horseback.
And he would murder all the...
The bad guys and
liberate the women.
Or he was, like, really
good at the stock market
and he had a lot of money.
-What do you--?
-Can I do two?
-Another one?
-Yeah.
What do you think
about your dad?
[whispers] I don't know.
You know, when I was a kid, uh,
somebody sold me too.
I got sold, and they took me to
a farm with a bunch of horses.
And there was this gay--
Gay cowboy.
This gay cowboy used to...
[voice breaks] This gay cowboy
used to always
come in my room...
[clears throat]
...when I didn't want him to.
I fucking hate
that gay cowboy.
Like, if I could just kill
that motherfucking gay cowboy,
I would. I would kill him.
Can you kill the guy
that stole Sunny?
I already killed him.
No.
Yeah, I broke his neck,
remember?
No, the guy who
brought us there.
-[T Bird] Who's that guy?
-[Mikaylah] I don't know.
[Sunny speaking indistinctly]
-[T Bird] Did you see him?
-Yeah.
-Do you know his name?
-No.
He was somebody from
Child Protective Services.
Child Protective Services?
And he took mine
and Sunny's mom.
-He took you from your mom?
-Yeah.
That's exactly
what they did to me.
Then they sent me to
that gay cowboy farm.
[Mikaylah] I-- I'm done.
[Sunny humming]
Why would someone ever
do that to someone's kid?
[whispering indistinctly]
Andy Dick. Andy Dick.
Andy Dick.
[upbeat music playing]
Hey, you seen Andy Dick?
-You know Andy Dick?
-No.
Hey, man, you seen Andy Dick?
Come here, you fuck!
Where's Andy Dick?
Who's seen Andy Dick?
Andy Dick, where are you at?
I wanted to go to
the Bahamas with Joseph,
and I don't know what's going
on, to be honest with you.
Sick of it. I don't even want
to do this, you know? I--
And we're like, "You ate it."
And then we'd just chop them up
and eat them and make bacon.
-Yeah, like--
-And that's how we survived.
It's good enough. They're
a little tit hanging out,
a little nip.
I'm not a woman, hm?
[soft jazz music playing]
-I got a new wig.
-[woman] Really?
What are you doing?
T Bird! No.
Yeah, my dad never
taught me how to shave.
Can you stop moving?
[Mikaylah] Don't move.
[Mikaylah] T Bird,
I want to go to school.
Hey, there, boy.
[Mikaylah] I want
to go to school.
I'm here for a good time.
Let's do your profile picture.
So do like a kissy, pouty face.
Mm, put your glasses
down a little bit.
Now, like, make like
a pouty face or something.
-Yeah.
-[shutter clicks]
Nice. Mm, let's do...
Do, like-- Yeah, now
do pouty face. Yeah.
[shutter clicks]
-[shutter clicks]
-Okay.
[shutter clicks]
[T Bird] Super gay
and ready to go.
No, just gay and
single. Casual.
[T Bird] Looking for
an old man named Andy Dick.
Now... gay, single.
And then profile picture.
Let's do...
Then pop the kissy-face
one on your message.
Let's go. Heart. Heart.
Heart.
And...
make.
-All done.
-[knocks on door]
Mom, can you get the door?
I'm having a couple
friends come over.
Tell them to just,
like, sit down and...
Can you make them those
cocktails you made for...
Uncle Jim?
What was that, a rock island?
What was that drink?
Whatever we have.
Give 'em something, Mom.
[Andy's mom] Hello.
Good evening.
Hello.
[Andy] Can you make
a round of drinks?
Have a seat. Hope this
is who I think it is.
-Hi.
-Oh, baby!
-Oh, look at you.
-Look at you.
-I love your outfit.
-Oh, please. Do come in.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God,
look at this one. Mm!
Brothers. Cousins. Neighbor.
[moans]
Don't touch a proper lady.
[electronic dance music playing]
[Andy's mom] Oh, this
ought to be good.
Something's on with this one.
-[Andy] Oh!
-[T Bird] What's up?
[Andy] Who's this stud?
-I like! [laughs]
-Welcome home, brother.
-[Andy] Thirsty boy!
-[glass shatters]
[overlapping chatter, laughing]
[Andy] Oh! Be careful.
That's some China. Oh, my God.
-Be careful of that.
-[man 1] Is this the party?
[man 2] I didn't know you had
such a crazy friend.
[Andy] I love you.
I don't know you.
[overlapping chattering]
[Andy] Do you know him?
-Who bought me--?
-[T Bird] Hands up in the air!
[T Bird yelling indistinctly]
Are you Andy Dick, motherfucker?
Huh? Is that your name,
motherfucker? Huh? Yeah?
[grunts] Fucking dead now, huh?
Nah, you ain't dead.
[Andy groaning]
[Andy mumbles]
[Andy screams]
What if they-- I'm not--
[T Bird grunts]
Shut the fuck up!
-[Andy's mom gasps]
-Stay on the ground!
Get on the fucking ground!
You're fucking coming with me.
[Andy] Mom, call the cops!
[Sunny] He's coming.
[Andy] Get off of me!
-[Andy] Put down!
-Put him in! Put him in!
-Put him in, put him in!
-[Sunny] He's coming.
Okay, hurry, hurry!
Hurry. Hurry!
-[Andy groans]
-[Mikaylah] Come on, come on.
-[T Bird grunts]
-[Andy] Ow! My leg!
[Sunny] Come on!
That's him, right?
That was the guy?
Is it? That was
the Dick guy, right?
-[Mikaylah] Yeah.
-[Andy] Let me out of here!
-[laughs]
-[Mikaylah] I hate you!
-Got you, bitch! Ha-ha!
-[Mikaylah yells]
[T Bird] I'm gonna
take his fingers.
Cut one finger off at a time
so he'll never be able
to touch a kid again.
[Andy] I'm not a child molester!
-Yes, you did!
-[Andy] I was molested
as a child.
Let me out of
this fucking trunk...
-[siren whooping]
-...or someone's gonna get
-fucking help.
-Oh, shit.
[Mikaylah] What do we do?
[T Bird] I ain't pulling over.
What do you want from me?
-Get out of the car!
-Get the fuck out of the car!
[Mikaylah] No, no, no.
[T Bird] I ain't
stopping for nobody!
-[sirens wailing]
-[Sunny] Oh, God.
[T Bird] All right, we
gotta plug in your house.
-What did you say, 29 Palms?
-[Mikaylah] Yeah.
[T Bird] Shit, here's another
one. You want some too?
Come on, now. I'm a good guy.
[Sunny] Yeah,
I wish everybody knew...
I ain't stopping for nobody.
I'm a good guy. I'm a hero.
I saved these kids.
-[Sunny] Go away!
-We got a stop sign there.
-You're gonna cause us to wreck!
-[Sunny] Go away!
[T Bird] One of these days, I'm
gonna get my own house out here.
And if somebody bothers me,
I'm gonna call the cops.
You can't do that
if you're in jail.
[sirens wailing]
Give this to your mom.
No, maybe not.
Keep it for yourself.
-[kids] Go away! Go away!
-Pull over! Stop the vehicle!
-Pull the vehicle over!
-[Mikaylah] Go!
-Pull it over!
-Gonna have to shoot me, boys!
-Shoot me!
-Pull it over!
Shoot me in the face
now, won't you?
-Pull it over!
-Shoot me then! Shoot me then!
I don't care if I die.
I've been dead before.
[officer yells indistinctly]
No! Go away!
[officer] Get out of the car!
I'm taking 'em home
to their mom.
Where are you gonna take 'em?
I'm taking 'em home
to their mom's house.
Where are you gonna
take 'em, huh,
you black-and-white
piece of shit?
You gonna take 'em
to the black market?
You wanna take 'em
to the black market, huh?
You wanna take 'em
to the black market?
-[Sunny yelling]
-[Mikaylah] Go away!
[Sunny] Go away!
Pull it over now!
Pull it over now!
-Pull it fucking over!
-[kids] Go away! Go!
[sound fades away]
[Seth Fleming's
"Methamphetamine" playing]
It all started somewhere
It filled an empty hole
It helped the hurt
To vanish
And then it took control...
[grunting]
[chuckles softly]
Come here, boy.
[screams]
Till it choked my lungs
Lost in the desert
A mother's misplaced son
Whoa!
Narco contentment
Chemical dreams
Her poison tears
Are tainted
[sirens wailing]
-Is this it?
-[Mikaylah] Yeah, yeah.
[kids chattering indistinctly]
[T Bird] All right, guys.
It's the end of the line here.
[inhales deeply]
[Sunny speaks indistinctly]
[officer 1] On the ground,
motherfucker!
[officer 2] Move it, move it!
[officer 3]
Get out of the car!
-Get out of the car. Right now!
-[officers yelling]
Did you take that money?
You guys go to your mom's, okay?
And you guys be good.
Here. You take this.
-Want that mask?
-[Sunny] Yeah.
You take it with you.
[officers yelling]
Give me a hug.
Give me a hug back.
[Mikaylah] Bye, T Bird.
[voice breaks] You go
to your mom, all right?
-[officers yelling]
-[Mikaylah sniffles]
-Go to your mom.
-[officer] Watch the kids.
[T Bird] Go to your mom's.
Go to your mom's.
-[officer] Hands up!
-[officers yelling]
-Your mom's up there, right?
-[officers] Hands up!
-Get down on the ground!
-On the ground!
-Face down!
-Get down on the ground!
-Get down!
-Get on the ground.
-[dog barking]
-[officers continue yelling]
-Face down!
-Put your fucking hands up!
Get down on the ground now!
-Get on the fucking ground!
-Hands in the air!
-Put your fucking hands up!
-Hands, hands!
[gunshots]
[choir singing]
[dog barking]
-[Mikaylah screaming]
-[gunshots]
-[kids] Mom!
-[mother gasping]
[all sobbing]
-[Sunny] Mom!
-[gasping]
-It's you, it's you!
-[all sobbing]
[dog barking]
[mother] I thought
I lost you! Oh!
[all continue sobbing]
What is this? What is this?!
Money. A lot.
Is it real? Oh, my...
[T Bird] What do you want
to be when you grow up?
Maybe... Maybe be a...
Maybe be a normal person.
Be a normal person.
[T Bird] Me too.
[upbeat music playing]
[grunts, then coos]
[grunts]
[dog barking in distance]
[child screams]
[dramatic music playing]
[exhales sharply]
[imitates blade slicing]
[imitating sword slicing]
[exhales sharply]
[exclaiming]
[exhaling sharply]
[metal rattling]
[babbling manically]
-[man 1] Whoo, bum fights!
-[man 2] Right here.
[man 1] Bum fights!
Whoo! What's up, beardo?
How you doing?
Come on, come on,
get in the van.
-Come on, it's Bumfights!
-Come on.
Hey, hey,
three bucks right now
if you get in the van.
Three bucks right now
if you get in the van.
Right here, right here,
right here. Spotlight.
You're in-- You're in
the fucking spotlight.
-[T Bird] What are we doing?
-Come on, man.
-[T Bird] The fuck is this?
-Get in here, bro.
[man] Oh, yeah, it's beautiful.
-Oh, yeah. Get the belt.
-Let's get the belt right here.
Yeah. Frame that up. Get
the belt. The face in there.
-The fucking money, you know?
-Oh, yeah.
Make that rain shit right there.
-Yeah.
-Let's go, let's go.
-All right. Now, pan back.
-You ready?
Pan back. Get the whole frame.
-Now drink this piss.
-Yeah, yeah.
-You ever drank piss before?
-[men laugh]
Drink this piss.
-Three more bucks, baby.
-Three more bucks.
-Come on, T Bird.
-Drink it!
Go ahead and drink it, man.
-Make that money.
-Three bucks, T Bird.
-Give me a show right now.
-Three bucks to drink the piss?
-Three bucks, T Bird.
-[T Bird] Whose piss is it?
We don't know.
That's not important.
-Yeah.
-Give me 20.
-Twenty bucks?
-We-- We could do that.
-You'd do 20?
-Yeah. Yeah!
-He's drinking the piss!
-[all cheering]
You got 20 now, bro!
You got 20 bucks, T Bird!
-You got 20 bucks, T Bird.
-Let's go!
-[grunts]
-You got 20 bucks, T Bird.
You got 20 bucks, T Bird.
-Fuck you! Fuck it!
-Let's go!
-Fuck it! Fuck it!
-Yeah! [laughs, applauds]
[man whoops]
Hey, you got anything to smoke?
-[man 1] Let's smoke.
-[man 2] Who's got the smokes?
We have a different type
of smoke right here, bro.
Here you go, T Bird. Smoke up.
[man] Hold my bowl.
-Give me that 20 bucks.
-[man] We're going cruising.
Got a lighter?
Give me a lighter.
Got a lighter right here, bro.
-Give him the lighter.
-You got the lighter.
What are you guys
doing out here?
[man] Cruising.
Snatching up fucking
white men around here?
Looking for bums
like you, T Bird.
-Yeah.
-[T Bird] Why?
-You can fight, right?
-For fighting.
Fuck yeah, you can fight.
Look at that.
-[men exclaiming]
-"Fuck you"?
-Fuck you!
-Oh, shit.
-T Bird! T Bird!
-Fuck everybody, yeah!
-Yeah.
-Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Fuck! He's gonna fucking
kill him! Kill him!
Fucking kill, man.
He's the guy right here, man.
How old are you, T Bird?
How long you been
on the streets for?
Not sure. I've been on
the street my whole life.
[wailing]
[T Bird's mom sighs] Okay.
T Bird, stop crying.
[sighs]
Holy shit. You're so...
So... ugh, gross.
[T Bird crying]
Stop that crying.
[soft country music playing]
Oh, you're gonna be just fine.
Let's get this stinky
shit sack off you, huh?
[T Bird continues crying]
[T Bird's mom sighs]
Once upon a time, there
was a little birdie.
Yeah.
And he lost his wings.
He couldn't fly.
And he was stuck
in a place like this.
[crying]
And then the bird...
could never fly again.
[clears throat]
-And that's me and you.
-[crying]
I just fucking can't
stand the sound!
Oh...
[mystical music playing]
[mystical music
turns suspenseful]
[exhaling sharply]
[horn honks]
Yeah!
You feel the need...
to buy some speed.
The least motherfucker.
Look at this guy.
Fuckface.
What a jackass.
I might stop and beat his ass.
That asshole.
Gotta see his fucking
dumb ass every fucking day.
[metal clanging]
Well, fuck you, then!
Fuck you, then. Fuck you!
Hey! Hey!
Hey! I need $5.
I need $5.
I need $5. Don't make
me do it. I need $5.
Put the money in the bag.
Put the money in the bag!
The $5.
Put the $5 in
the motherfucking bag.
The $5 in the
motherfucking bag right now!
I'll fucking kill you!
I'll fucking kill you
with this lightning bolt.
I'll stick this
fucking lightning bolt
right through your
goddamn skull, okay?
Five dollars!
Put it in the bag.
Put it in the bag right now!
Put it in the bag!
Put the $5 in the
fucking bag, all right?
I'll fucking slit
your goddamn throat
with this rusty piece of iron.
-I need $5.
-Five dollars?
No, you can't have $5.
[stammers]
Put the fucking money
in the bag!
-No. No, I--
-Put the fucking money
in the bag!
Hey, Jason, what are you doing?
[dramatic music playing]
[child]
To make more money...
Look in your eye.
Look in your eye.
Oh... makeup, makeup.
[child speaks indistinctly]
-Kevin. Kevin.
-What's up, my boy?
Yeah, what's up, man?
You got it.
All right. Give me
the money. We're okay.
I got this money.
Here you go. It's all yours.
It's all right there.
All right there.
[T Bird whispers indistinctly]
[exclaims]
Thank you, Kevin.
[whoops, laughs]
[exclaiming]
Yeah, baby. We're going down!
Whoa-ho!
Yeah!
[glass shatters, tires
screech, cars crashing]
[tires screech,
car crashes]
[dramatic music playing]
[T Bird yells]
This is my waters!
[imitating machine-gun fire]
[dramatic music
continues playing]
[T Bird exclaims]
[Hercules] Wow. Check this out.
These motherfuckers multiply
every day like mosquitoes.
So nice.
It's really not. These people
on the side last year.
Fuck.
Like mosquitoes, man,
I swear to God. Mosquitoes.
[coughs softly]
Bloodsuckers.
[chuckles]
[electronic music playing]
Hey! That's my blanket!
Come on, you moth--
[grunting]
[T Bird imitating
Bruce Lee yelling]
[groaning]
[wheezes, coughing]
[weakly] Motherfucker!
[yells]
-Help! Motherfucker! Help!
-[T Bird yelling]
[yells]
[groans, coughing weakly]
-Fuck you!
-[T Bird] My blanket.
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
-[woman 1] Wow. Nice car.
-[woman 2] Shut the fuck up!
Don't look at him.
Just look at me.
Get in.
[ominous music playing]
[car drives by]
-Hey, you got a cigarette?
-[woman] Nope.
-You got something to eat?
-Nope.
Smoke some weed?
[ominous music playing]
[knocking on window]
Are you gonna
get us a cigarette?
You got a cigarette? I could
have a cigarette for you?
[engine starts]
Just give me a little cigarette.
Oh, come on, bro.
Oh, come on, bro.
I like that car, man.
Hey, I'll tell you one thing.
I've always wanted a Bentley.
Ever since I can remember...
I've always wanted a Bentley.
[dramatic music playing]
[door squeaks]
[child wailing]
[child] Let me go, let me go!
[woman] Why is it
so hot in here?
I don't know.
-[air conditioner blowing]
-You want me to dance for you?
[girl giggles]
[dog barking]
[dramatic music
continues playing]
[exhaling]
[music fades out]
[ominous music playing]
[door clattering]
[door squeaks]
[voices arguing indistinctly]
[heels clacking]
[Markus] Hey.
-[Hercules] Hey. How are you?
-[Markus] Fine, fine.
[Hercules] So, what are you
looking for today?
[Markus] Oh, the usual. Just
something fresh. I, uh... Uh...
[Hercules] Something new?
Something new?
[suspenseful music playing]
[gulls cawing]
[indistinct chattering]
[suspenseful music
continues playing]
[crying]
[exhales deeply]
[traffic passing by]
[air brakes hiss]
Put them back!
Put them back! Hey!
Hey! I will kill you,
motherfucker! Put them back!
Ever since
the day you were born,
you've been making my life
-a living hell.
-[young T Bird cries]
So I'm going to show you
what it's like, okay?
You're going to sit here and
you're going to think about it.
[Seth Fleming's
"Methamphetamine" playing]
[exhales deeply]
[T Bird's mom] Come on,
stop that crying.
Crying is for pussies.
You're not a pussy, are you?
[sniffles]
You already ruined my life,
you little shit.
Now you're gonna
sit here and cry?
You want to cry? I make you sad?
Yeah. Yeah, you don't like that?
That's why you gotta listen.
You listen to me.
I'm your mom.
You listen to me, okay?
I don't wanna see
any more of those tears.
You wipe those tears,
okay? Wipe them.
And you aren't going to get
anywhere in life. Okay, kid?
[Boss] Fine, fine, fine,
fine, fine, fine, fine.
Something needs to be done
with the dead bodies.
Something needs to be done.
-With the dead bodies?
-With the dead bodies.
What do you want to do with 'em?
They're just there. They're just
dead. They don't do anything.
-[siren approaching]
-Oh, maybe it's them.
-Maybe it's them going to it.
-[siren moves farther away]
Very possible. [inhales deeply]
Oh, shit. A drone on TV. Look
at that, it's a drone flying.
Look at these peop--
A lot of people coming, Frank.
That's a lot of people coming.
-[horns honking]
-Yeah.
-Hey, you want some fun?
-[yells]
[TV reporter]
--where the actual protest
-that has broken out...
-[horns honking]
-[indistinct chatter over PA]
-[helicopter whirring overhead]
-[sirens wailing]
-[helicopter whirring]
[discordant music playing]
[mumbling]
-[breathes sharply]
-[man whoops]
What? What do you want
from me? What do you want?
You? You're just a tree.
[siren wailing]
[man yells indistinctly]
[car alarm blaring,
people yelling indistinctly]
[man] Let's go. Whoo!
That's what I'm
talking about, y'all.
That's what
I'm talking about, y'all.
[reporter speaking
indistinctly on broadcast]
[T Bird yells indistinctly]
[sirens wailing]
[speaking indistinctly]
Mean motherfucker!
[Boss] No way. No way!
Frank. That's T Bird.
-[gunshot]
-[laughing]
I tear gas for breakfast.
I tear gas for breakfast!
I eat tear gas for breakfast!
[Hercules] I never had my dick
sucked going across the bridge.
There you go.
Oh, fuck. Suck my cock. Come on.
Oh... Okay, wait, wait, wait.
I'm gonna come.
[moans]
[exhales sharply]
Okay.
Oh, I just lost a couple
pounds. Thank you.
Feel like my pants are looser.
[laughs]
Something's wrong with me.
I don't know what it is.
[chuckles]
[both chuckle]
I'm gonna feel
like Chinese later.
I ain't got no choice, huh?
-No choice.
-Why?
-It's all business, though.
-It's all business.
-This is--
-That's what you taught me.
Well, this isn't business.
This is kind of like...
This is kind of like, uh,
the fruits of business.
[both chuckle]
It's the banana split of
business. But it's not a fruit.
That's a-- That's a banana.
That's ice cream.
[both laugh]
[Giselle] I don't know, so...
[Hercules chuckles]
[woman speaks indistinctly]
[Hercules] Oh, shit.
Someone should bring a fucking
goddamn bulldozer out here
and kill all these
homeless people.
[clear throat] You know, if
I were-- If I were in charge,
I'd make people explain
to me what their, um...
Why they need to exist.
Like, what--
Why do you...? What--
Why are you here on Earth?
Yeah. You gotta...
explain to me.
[clears throat] You know, people
can't answer that question.
I mean, why am I here?
-To look after you. No?
-[chuckles] No.
-[chuckles]
-I don't know.
What am I here for?
What are you here for?
To help you.
-To help me?
-Mm-hmm.
So do you think that you were
sent to me by divine, um, grace?
-Yeah.
-Really?
-I mean, I'm here--
-I'm a bad man.
If you're bad, then I'm bad.
I'm, um...
I mean, just the word.
"Sex-trafficking...
mm, homophobic, racist pig."
[both laughing]
That's how I'd be characterized
in the media, you know?
That's why I think we may
need to do some good deeds,
like kill some homeless people,
you know what I mean?
[both laugh]
Or teach little girls
how to come.
I think that's what I'll do.
What do you think?
-Did I teach you?
-Yeah.
Come here.
[Hercules sighs]
[Hercules] Where's
this Chink at?
Chink-Chonk, huh!
[imitating Chinese accent]
How are you? How are you, sir?
Hey, I brought you
these, uh, North Korean...
[normal voice]
Oh, you're here. Here. Okay.
[indistinct conversation]
[Hercules clears throat]
[speaks in foreign language]
[ominous music playing]
[Hercules] What the fuck?
-Wha--? This one's African.
-Oh, this is Chinese.
Half-- Half African,
half Chinese.
In southern China, there's
a lot of them around, you know.
-Good market.
-Me Chinese. Me play joke.
I just wasn't to see expecting
any niggers in here. Except her.
-[laughs]
-[girl giggles]
[dealer] Nigger and his nigger.
Money is money.
That's right. Um...
So look...
[clears throat] Deal.
There's 10.
[Hercules sighs]
All right. Uh, buddy,
this is Uncle John.
[speaks in foreign language]
[Hercules] Come on. Come on.
[alarm blaring]
[motorcycle racing outside]
[electronic music playing]
-[alarm continues blaring]
-[car alarm wailing outside]
We gonna take over the world!
We gonna take over the world!
[yelling]
[alarms blaring]
[man] Go, go!
[looters yelling indistinctly]
-[woman] T Bird.
-Oh, yeah. [chuckles] Yeah!
[man] I ain't fucking with cash.
[man] T Bird.
[T Bird laughs, mumbling]
-[laughing]
-[T Bird] You got a cigarette?
I do. Here you go, bro.
-You got a lighter?
-I don't got a lighter.
-Who's got a lighter?
-Right here.
-Dude, you got the lighter, dog?
-Got it.
Fuck the police! Fuck the
government! Fuck your teachers!
I swear to God, I see a homeless
motherfucker around here,
I'm gonna cut his throat.
Bitch.
[chuckles]
-Whoa!
-[tires screech]
[Hercules] Son of a bitch.
What the fuck?
Motherfucker!
Hit my goddamn car!
-[Hercules groaning]
-[helicopter whirring overhead]
You mother-- Look what you
did to my car, motherfucker!
-[T Bird groans]
-What you gonna do about it?
-[yelling]
-What you doing--?
Are you bullshitting me?
You want me to beat your ass?
Huh? Is that it? You--
You-- [mock yells]
[Hercules laughs]
Like dogs, huh,
motherfucker? You like dogs?
[T Bird yelling in pain]
Are you fucking piece of shit!
How do you like that?
[T Bird yells]
[both yell]
[T Bird yelling]
-Over here.
-[yells in pain]
[imitating martial-arts yelling]
Motherfucker. Motherfucker!
-[yelling in pain]
-This is America, motherfucker!
How do you like that?
[grunts] What the--
Strangle you, mother--!
I'm gonna kill you,
you motherfucker!
Hey! Welcome to America,
you piece of shit! [grunts]
[spits]
Be back to get my money.
I get my money...
for my car!
All right?
Mr. Style. Suck my
big American dick.
-[car door slams]
-[groaning]
[breathing heavily]
[dramatic music playing]
Uh, you know that these two
children are being neglected.
[knocks on door]
Hello? Let me in.
Let me in, please.
We have a warrant.
Hi. I'm sorry. Is it
okay if I come in? Hi!
-[child speaks indistinctly]
-[Andy] Look, I got a Muppet.
-Hi, I'm Fozzie. Breakfast?
-[boy giggles]
-Where's your mom?
-Um, in there.
[Andy] Is she in there?
Is she okay?
[officer] She's in here.
Ma'am?
What...? Who are you?
[officer] Come to
the living room, please.
[mumbling]
[woman] Is there
a room back here?
-Is it okay if we go back here?
-Yeah.
[woman] Do you take
sleeping medication?
Do you know what
drugs are? Drugs?
Like green-- Like
green flower thingy?
-[Andy] Yeah. That's just...
-Yeah.
Why don't I take you kids
outside real quick?
I want to talk to you.
Look, it's such a beautiful
sunset, isn't it?
-[Sunny] Whoa!
-[Andy] Yeah.
Let's go look at that.
Oh! Wow.
It looks like a painter
painted it, doesn't it?
Okay, you guys need to
get in the car. Thank you.
-Ma'am--
-No, you're not taking my kids.
-Get off of me! Get off of me!
-[child crying]
-You're under arrest.
-Drive away!
-[officer] Let's go, right now.
Tell it to the judge, lady.
-Tell it to the judge.
-[mother] No!
[Hercules] Brother
and sister, yeah?
Age?
Attractive?
Um...
Hey, look, I don't want to talk
about anything else
on the phone, so I'll...
I'll, uh-- I'll call you later.
We'll set up a meeting.
Bye. Bye.
Sounds good. Let's see.
Maybe I just met
a couple million bucks
or my future wife, I'm not sure.
I'd have a hard time explaining.
She's 6 years old.
[chuckles]
[singing indistinctly]
[Seth Fleming's
"Methamphetamine" playing]
Yeah.
I'm gonna have to have you wait
in the car for a little bit,
ahem, 'cause I gotta get
some stuff for myself
before I go to work,
and I want you to be
a good boy, okay?
I want you to sit here and wait.
Don't talk to no strangers.
And, um...
sit your little butt right
down, okay? [clears throat]
[train horn blows in distance]
[engine shuts off]
All right, you wait here, okay,
T Bird? I'll be right back.
Hey, how does Mama look?
Do I look good?
Are you gonna look?
All right. Fine.
Just wait here, then, okay?
It's really hot.
[panting]
Mom!
Mom!
Mom!
[panting]
[T Bird groans weakly]
Come here. You all right?
You all right? Let's go.
Put the Bentley in the bag!
The Bentley in the bag!
[motorcycle engine revving]
Put the Bentley in the bag now!
Put the Bentley in the bag!
[sobs]
Put the fucking Bentley
in the bag!
She left me in the car.
My mom left me in
the car. It got hot.
They gave her the gas chamber.
They saved me.
They busted the window out.
And that's my family.
[laughing manically]
Bunch of pedophiles.
[mumbles angrily]
[gentle country music playing]
[panting]
-[grunts] Wha--?!
-[T Bird] Fuck you!
-Come on, T Bird.
-Goddamn it, man!
-What are you doing?
-What the fuck?
You the fuck-- My goddamn mouth.
Oh, Uncle T Bird stupid, right?
-Yeah.
-Oh, what the fuck, boss?
-[laughing]
-Look at that shit!
Motherfucker!
I fucking came here to fucking
ask for your help, man.
You fucking punched me
in the fucking face!
Don't sneak up on me, buddy,
you know that.
Come on, let's do it. Relax.
Oh, fuck, man.
You got any of those pills...
that I got you? I need
some of those pills, man.
I'm fucking eating
out of the trash
and some hot wings had
some poop or something on 'em.
Stomach hurts so goddamn bad,
man. You got those pills?
-Nope, I don't.
-None of those?
-I need some more.
-Oh, fuck.
-Can you get me some more?
-No, I can't.
I ain't seen that fucking guy.
-What guy?
-The guy I got the pills from.
The guy, I fucking took
him to the goddamn store.
Need to get the strongest pills.
-Strongest pills they got.
-Okay.
-For pain, okay?
-Uh-huh.
[Boss] Dude, I saw you
on the news,
like, a couple of months ago.
-Was that a cop car on fire?
-Yeah.
-Did you light it?
-No.
I'm gonna kill this fucker
in that Bentley, man!
Guy hit me in
the fucking street.
Hit me in the fucking
street, all right?
Maced me, fucking beat me down.
Beat my ass.
Couldn't fucking see.
They found another dead body
in the wetlands down there.
-Whose was it?
-We don't know.
It was right out in front.
What guy you talking about?
This fucking guy in a Bentley.
Some fucking white pedophile.
-Fucking child molester.
-Okay, so we need
to beat the shit out
of the guy, then, okay?
-Gonna fucking kill him!
-Beat the shit out of the guy.
I'll show you something. Come
on. Let's go. Let's go outside.
Okay. Let me tell you first,
never take your eyes
off your opponent.
All right? And always look
at their hands, because--
"Oh, no. Sorry. I don't want to
have anything to do with--" Gah!
And if you didn't see this one,
your throat is slit, and it's
over and out. That's right.
-[grunts, exclaims]
-You're done.
Yeah. Yeah, you can do
that as well. All right.
Boh! That's the first thing
to do, a kick to the groin.
Everybody underestimates
the kick to the--
-[yells]
-That's the first thing to do.
And then follow it up,
bang, bang, bang!
And a little bit of donk, donk,
donk! And there you go.
You're going down. See?
Very simple.
-Pow!
-Oh! There we go, brother.
-That's it, that's it.
-Dangly-dangly dang!
That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But a little bit of compact.
A little bit more compact. Kick.
Dangly-dangly--
-Oh!
-Dangly-dangly dang!
-Oh!
-Dang, dang, dang, dang.
-Okay, okay! [laughs]
-Dang!
You're loving it.
All right, now,
after the kick
to the balls, poof,
most of the time they come down
and now you can
knee him in the face.
Knee him in the face.
Maybe a sneaky left elbow.
Watch this. Pow! That's
a left elbow right there.
And lookie, look
what we got here.
What is that? Right?
Smack his face,
-smack his face, smack his face.
-[laughing]
If it's sharp and pointy,
that's the way you want to go.
[T Bird chuckling]
Oh, you like that, right?
Okay. Okay, so--
We can also deliver, right?
Also deliver.
Stand still and then, pop,
head-butt out of nothing.
Right in the fucking face.
-All right?
-Pop!
That's right, brother.
You don't want to load up.
You want to start, go pop!
You see? Don't load up,
because--
-Pop!
-Oh, that's a good one.
That's a good one.
All right, now see
if you can do this thing.
Hold him. See? You can't
see shit right now, right?
Now what I can do is a full
load of boom, an elbow.
And of course,
I can follow it up
with any freaking punch I like.
What about this?
Well, you can't see like--
-Hang on. This way, like this?
-Yeah. And then that elbow...
-Boom!
-Ooh! Yeah, that's it.
-Then you throw the left, aah!
-That's it. That's it.
That's what you want to do.
I like that neck crank.
The neck crank? You want to
know how to kill somebody?
-I want to kill that fucker.
-Okay, so put somebody forward,
-Across face, look.
-[grunts]
You feel that already?
Pop it. Right.
-And now I'm gonna lift you...
-No, no!
...and you're gonna
freaking break your neck.
You understand that?
That's a badass move
right there, brother.
That's a badass move
right there.
Try it out on me.
Be careful, though.
-The bang!
-Oh! That's right.
Grab your bicep like this...
-Ahh!
-Very good.
-And then just snap it.
-[yells]
-[laughing]
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Like water! Like water!
-[Boss] Yeah!
-[imitating Bruce Lee]
Good.
Oh-ho, you're ready, brother!
You're ready. Hut!
-[yelling]
-[grunting]
-Come on. Oh!
-[panting]
-[Andy] Get in there.
-[Hercules] Oh, look who's here.
[Mikaylah] Sunny! Sunny!
[Andy] Children, children.
These ones are Mikaylah...
Mikaylah.
-She's pretty. Hi, Mikaylah.
-[Andy] Two...
children that need to
be fostered for $33,000.
-[Hercules] Giselle!
-[Andy] Mika--
[Hercules] Ice cream, please.
Oh, yeah. You guys
like ice cream? Yeah.
-Do you?
-You know how you spell it?
-[Andy] Oh. Where'd you go?
-[Sunny] I can do it.
-[Hercules] Get me a Coke.
-How do--?
-[Sunny] I can do it.
-How do you spell?
Just tell me. I'm gonna
write it, though.
-Uh...
-All right, fine. You do it.
Why don't you do it?
And by the way...
[Sunny] Okay, okay.
I know how to do it.
Mikaylah, let me get a look--
Let me look at her.
Come here.
Wanna look at you closer.
[Andy mumbles]
-[Hercules] Come here.
-[Andy] Don't...
you creep out on me.
[Hercules] Oh, look at
that skin. She's so pretty.
-I'm gonna keep you, okay?
-[Andy] Get my money.
[kisses]
[Hercules] Yeah.
-[Andy] This is Diet Coke.
-Yeah.
Hey. Uh, get my money.
It's in the fag bag.
Thanks, babe.
Real Gucci with real money
for a real fag.
[Hercules laughs]
-[Andy] Here you go.
-[Hercules] Here you go.
-Bye!
-[laughs]
And listen, I'm all for LGBT--
LGB-- Whatever the fucking
faggots-- You guys are doing.
You know, it's--
It's all good. It's all good.
You want to suck some dick in
the day? I don't give a fuck.
-I'm out. I am out.
-[Hercules] Creep.
You're the creep.
[Hercules] Be the person
I really am.
Beat your fucking ass.
Come here, Mikaylah.
You're with daddy now.
Your big daddy.
Mikaylah, what are you doing,
taking off your clothes?
Not yet, baby. [laughs]
Not yet. Not yet. [laughing]
Hercules is here.
You don't wanna watch
this yet. Come here, baby.
[sighs]
Go on. Play with your brother.
Go play with your brother.
Play with your brother.
I'll get rid of that little
motherfucker in a minute.
Hey, call-- Yeah.
Get rid of the kid. The boy.
Get rid of the boy.
The boy, get rid of him.
Go make the call.
You forgot? Yeah, fairly.
[ominous music playing]
[Markus] Hey.
[Hercules] Hey, how are you?
[Markus] Fine, fine.
[Hercules] Something new?
Something new?
-[Markus] Uh...
-Hang on.
-[Markus] What? What's this?
-What?
I thought you said
he was white?
-[Hercules] He is white.
-[Markus] He's not white.
Why you questioning--
He's not Mexican. He's white.
-Ask him a question.
-[Markus] No. No.
-He speaks-- He speaks English.
-No.
He looks like any
other kid on the border.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Then go to
the fucking border, you faggot.
Buy one at the border.
This kid speaks English.
-Ask him a question.
-[Markus] What's your name?
-Sunny.
-[Markus] He is cute though.
-[Hercules] He's cute, yeah.
-He's really cute. Oh.
-Hey, Sunny.
-[Hercules] Hey, Sunny.
-I'm Markus.
-He's Markus.
[Markus] Do you like
to play games?
Do you want to go to my house?
-Hey, what are you playing?
-This.
Yeah?
What are your favorite games?
"Zombies" and "Roblox."
And... And...
-And Spider-Man games and...
-[Markus] Wow.
Oh, we're gonna have
so much fun together.
That sounds really great.
Hey. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here we go.
-[Hercules speaks indistinctly]
-Yeah.
[Hercules] It's Trade
and Child Services,
-adoption papers.
-Oh, it's adoption?
All right.
-The money.
-[Hercules] The money.
-[Markus] Okay.
-[Hercules speaks indistinctly]
[Markus] Yeah-- Oh, yes.
I see, I see that.
We're gonna get you
all cleaned up.
Oh, we're gonna
have so much fun.
[ominous music intensifies]
[music stops]
-[man 1] Whoo, bum fights!
-[man 2] Right here.
[man 1] Bum fights!
-Whoo! You wanna make 5 bucks?
-Yeah.
Give you 3 bucks right now
if you get in the van.
-Okay.
-Come on, come on, come on.
[man 3] Let's go, bro.
-Give me 3 bucks.
-I'll pay you right now.
-Oh, shit.
-[T Bird] Yeah. Nice.
[man 1] What you gonna do
with that money?
-[man 2] Find a shower.
-Save it.
You smell like piss. Why
don't you drink some piss?
[man 3] Pull out. Yeah. Perfect.
[man 4] Five bucks, you
drink the piss right now.
-[man 1] Oh, no. Oh, shit!
-[all exclaiming]
-Yeah!
-Let's go!
-[T Bird yelling]
-[men cheering, laughing]
-[man 1] Get ready to fight.
-[man 2] Are you ready?
[man 1] Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Look, by the trash can.
-[men chanting] T Bird, T Bird!
-You getting this?
What the fuck? Get the fuck--
Get out of here!
-What the fuck?
-Wait, hold on, stinky!
This is bum fights!
You want to make 20 bucks?
Twenty bucks? Get
the fuck out of here.
[man] All you gotta do is
fight T Bird.
Who's T Bird?
Fucking T Bird.
Who's fucking T Bird?
-[man] Get out here, T Bird.
-[Hillbilly] You wanna fight?
-Hey, what's your name?
-Hillbilly, man.
This is Hillbilly.
Hillbilly, this is T Bird.
-T Bird, this is Hillbilly.
-Oh, shit, 20 bucks?
-Let's go for it!
-We need you two to square up.
All right. Square up.
-Oh, shit! Only in bum fights.
-[overlapping comments]
Come on. Yeah.
[man laughs]
[Hillbilly] Come on, man.
What the--?
[indistinct comments, laughter]
-Oh, shit!
-[all exclaim]
[overlapping comments]
Oh, oh? Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
[all laughing]
[man] Oh, head lock!
Let's go! Oh, shit!
Let's go, bro. Let's go,
let's go, let's go.
[Hillbilly groaning]
[man] Hey, use the elbow.
Use the elbow!
[aggressive music playing]
[man] The champion.
T Bird, new bum fight champion.
[Hillbilly] Who's got my $20?
[T Bird grunting]
Fucking hide behind a car?
Oh, you gonna hide
behind the car?
[gasping]
[hissing]
[glass shatters]
[T Bird whispers indistinctly]
How much money I got?
I'm not the world's
Most passionate guy
But I know what I am
And I'm glad I'm a man
So is Lola, L-O-L-A, Lola
La-la-la-la, Lola
That was bomb.
That's a badass tune.
That must be the coolest
man in the whole world, huh?
I dig that song. Hey,
what's this, huh? This is cool.
I like this too.
[Jefferson Airplane's "Go
Ask Alice" playing on radio]
[blinker clicking]
[dramatic music playing]
[upbeat electronic
music playing]
-[T Bird yells]
-[tires screech]
-[driver] What the fuck?
-Get out of the car!
Get the fuck out of the car!
[driver] Fuck you!
Come on. Come on, asshole.
You just come on.
I wanna fuck with you.
[engine revs]
White people's days
are numbered.
They don't even know it.
[Hercules] Fucking
minority now, man.
So now you gotta become
like the mayor or the governor
so you can order
the executions. [chuckles]
Of the skeeters. White folks
are becoming the skeeters.
[chuckles]
"What do you do for a living?"
"Oh, I'm just a skeeter.
I suck blood."
[upbeat electronic
music playing]
[birds caw]
[Hercules] Hey. Um...
teach her how to give
me a massage. All right?
[Hercules sighs]
So I'm going to show you
how to give daddy
the massage he likes, okay?
So you start at the shoulders,
and you want to go
as hard as you can.
-[Hercules] No, not too hard.
-Not too hard, though.
[fire escape creaks]
[suspenseful music playing]
[indistinct conversation]
[Markus laughs] Well,
that was fast.
-Okay. So, what's this?
-Papers. Adoption papers.
[hums softly]
[driver] Got a hat for you, huh?
-He's cute, isn't he?
-There you go.
He's a good kid.
His name is T Bird.
-[driver] T Bird.
-[Jack] T Bird.
[driver] T Bird?
What's his real name?
I started calling him T Bird
'cause his mom
locked him in the back
of a frickin' Thunderbird...
and it was boiling in there.
I don't know how long he was in,
but it kind of fucked
him up a little bit.
-So...
-These are $350 each.
-You want two more?
-All right.
It's not a big deal.
Don't worry about it.
Just give me two more.
It's all right.
-I'll give you one more.
-No, uh, that's okay.
You don't have to give me
one more, two more.
-I'll just stick to getting--
-No, no, no. All right.
Two, two, two more,
two more, two more.
Fuck it. You got it, you got it.
It's yours. Take it, take it.
All right, buddy, come on.
You come up here, sweetheart.
That's my kid. That's my boy.
That's a boy. There you go.
[Hercules] You don't
want to do it?
-[Mikaylah] Where's my brother?
-[Hercules mumbles]
-[Giselle] Mm, I don't know.
-[Hercules] Give her some time.
-Give her some time.
-Um...
-Take her to find her brother.
-...here.
-[Hercules] He's over there.
-Come on.
[Mikaylah] Sunny?
Where's Sunny?
He went to go get
some ice cream.
He'll be back soon.
No, I want him back now.
Um, well...
How about we go
get some ice cream
and we'll go--
We'll go find him?
No, I want my brother.
-Let's-- let's not yell, okay?
-No, I want my brother.
-Why are you yelling?
-'Cause I want my brother.
[Hercules] Tell her
to stop yelling.
-Stop yelling.
-No! I want my brother!
You're gonna make daddy mad
if you keep yelling.
No, I want my brother!
Where's my brother?
[Hercules] All right, listen.
Hey, he went to the toy store.
He went to the toy store.
You wanna go?
We'll go to the toy store.
-No, I want my brother.
-[Hercules] We'll go meet him.
I want my brother!
Where's my brother?
-[Hercules] Okay, okay.
-I want my brother!
-[Hercules] Okay.
-Where is he?
[Hercules] He's at the
toy store. Come with me.
Where's-- No! Where is he?
[Hercules] He's at the toy
store, honey. Let's go.
We'll go get him together. Okay?
-Okay? Come on.
-I want my brother!
-Stop yelling.
-No. I want my brother!
-Stop yelling.
-I want my brother!
You're gonna piss me the
fuck off and you're gonna--
I don't care.
I want my brother!
He's at the toy store,
you little bitch.
-You want to meet him?
-Yes.
Come with me.
Come on. Go. Come on,
go on. You go.
-[T Bird] Hey, remember me?
-[Hercules groans]
Aah! There you go.
Now you got it.
[choir singing over
indistinct dialogue]
-[neck snapping]
-[T Bird grunting]
[T Bird yelling]
Where's your mace now, bitch?
Fuck you. Got some money?
You got some money, asshole?
You got some fucking money?
Shit. This is mine now.
You neck-broke motherfucker.
-[Mikaylah] Where's my brother?
-[Giselle] Who the fuck are you?
-Where's my brother?
-Your brother's on the paper.
[Giselle] Where
the fuck is John?
How the fuck did you
get in here?
-[T Bird] Fucking dead.
-Where's my brother?
Fucking paper right here.
You guys are fucking bad people.
-Come here.
-[Mikaylah yelps]
I want my brother!
Where's my brother?
[T Bird] He's on this paper!
Where's my brother?
[T Bird] Fucking bad people.
-I want my brother back!
-I got your brother.
He's on this paper right here.
He fucking sold him.
He fucking sold your brother.
I saw it, all right?
[Giselle] Mikaylah, come on.
-You sold my brother?
-Come with me.
Don't make me knock you
the fuck out.
You sold my brother?
-[Mikaylah] No!
-Come on. What are you doing?
-No!
-What are you doing?
Why should I trust you,
you weirdo?
[screams] No!
Let me down!
Look, why don't you
trust me? Huh?
Stop biting. Ow, ow, ow!
What? What do you want?
What do you want?
Your brother's on this paper.
Look at all this money.
Look at all this money, huh?
This ain't for you.
It's for your brother.
Why do you think
I got this money?
I don't know.
How should I know that?
Because I told you.
It's for your brother.
-Come on. Let's go.
-No--
I'm not a bad guy.
Living in a car
fucked me up in the head.
[Mikaylah] My mom left me
in an RV for the whole time.
Well, they'll put
me on TV as a hero
if I save you and
I save your brother.
Be on the nightly news,
KTLA, again.
I was on the news last week.
Gonna be a hero, save the kids.
Come on. Where's my car? Whoo!
-[tires screech]
-[T Bird exclaims]
[imitates machine-gun fire]
Machine gun, motherfucker!
[tires screech]
Oh, fuck you. All right.
I think we got away with it.
None of the fucks coming.
Yeah, it's fucking
my Bentley now.
Okay, I gotta make
a couple stops first.
This paper, that's where
your brother's at.
I'll get a cell phone.
We gotta take this bitch.
I gotta paint it
so they know it's mine.
You hungry? You hungry at all?
Sorry, I didn't mean
to cuss and scare you.
I told you I was
a good guy. [sniffs]
This is the happiest
day of my life.
-[can rattling]
-Hey.
[laughs]
Want to do the roof?
Come on.
Do the roof.
Do whatever you want.
The roof is yours.
That shit right there! [laughs]
What's that say?
"I'm."
"I'm God"?
[laughs]
"I'm God."
[dramatic music playing]
Okay. Let's go.
Come on. We gotta go.
We gotta get your brother.
Get on in.
God. I like it. "I'm God."
-Here, come on, let's go.
-[yelps]
[T Bird] Get in there.
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
[engine starts]
-[horn honks]
-[exclaims]
I like what you
wrote back there.
"I am God." "I'm God."
-What made you write that?
-I don't know.
Please.
Please...
[Markus] Okay. You can play,
right? You can play.
Don't worry. Come on.
It's okay. Come on.
You're doing okay.
We're gonna have
so much fun. We are.
Do you wanna play
some more games?
Look. See? Nothing to cry about.
There it is.
-Whoa, that's a big house.
Your brother's inside.
Don't think you're gonna
be able to get in there.
You don't think? What are
you talking about?
I'll get in there right now.
I'll climb that wall.
Climb that pole. Climb
the back of that horse.
There's too many cameras.
[T Bird] Be cool.
-I got an idea.
-What?
I can make you
a famous TikToker.
-What's a TikToker?
-TikTok.
I don't know, it's an app.
I've never been on it,
but it's an app where people
make videos and get famous.
You can trim your hair, can
shave your beard and mustache.
I can give you a new
tattoo, a cool tattoo,
and then... get new clothes.
-[T Bird] Yeah.
-[Mikaylah] And then--
I've always wanted
to be a rapper.
So I say I'm a rapper
and say we want to shoot
a music video.
-For TikTok. Yeah.
-For TikTok.
And I'll show him the money.
Like I'm going to pay him
the money to get in.
Okay. What about your teeth?
I just gotta scrape
them off with, like, a...
A hammer... or a screwdriver.
No, that's gonna
make it worse.
Golden teeth. We get
you golden teeth.
[T Bird laughs]
Get a cool grill.
Get a cool grill.
-[dramatic music playing]
-[trimmer buzzing]
-Whoa.
-[Mikaylah giggles]
[chuckles]
Sometimes I taste
my food on my mustache.
Don't leave yourself
unblocked. Here we go.
You-- You have to go here. Good.
Well, let's see now. Okay.
Okay. So I'm gonna
protect that with that.
[doorbell rings]
Did you hear that?
Who's here?
Did you invite anyone?
-[Sunny] No.
-Hey. Hey. Hey, little one.
Did you invite anybody?
-Are you sure he's here?
-[T Bird] We're gonna find out.
[Markus sighs]
Oh, my God.
What is going on? Hi.
-Can I help you?
-[T Bird] Um...
We want to-- Okay, so
we're looking for a mansion.
And we were looking for
a mansion for a rap video.
See, I'm a rapper,
and so I was wondering
if maybe we could, uh,
take a look at your mansion,
see if it's the right
mansion for us.
Well, uh, God, I don't
know, but how much--
Well, how much are you
paying, first of all?
How much money is it?
-Uh, a million.
-[Markus] Oh, yeah--
[T Bird] I'll give you
a deposit right now.
-Well--
-[T Bird] Just, just--
Just for your time and just
letting us see the mansion.
-[Markus] Well...
-[T Bird] And letting us in.
-Oh, God. Fine, fine.
-[T Bird] It's her dream.
-I'm sure. I'm-- Who isn't?
-It's her dream.
I know, everyone thinks
they're a star.
-She's got cancer.
-[Markus] Oh.
Sir, I hope you are not lying,
because that would
be really fucked up.
Like, wow. Jesus.
-I ain't lying.
-[Markus] Life sucks, man.
At least I still
have some of my hair.
She could beat it. Especially
if we made a video.
[Markus] Oh, my God.
Okay, our housekeeper's off
and my boyfriend's not home.
And it's just me
and my little boy. So...
Just have to make it quick.
All right.
[T Bird] Oh, you got
a little boy?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're just
playing in the house right now,
so... But I can
show you really fast.
How long have you had
him? How old is he?
Oh, he's 6. He's so good.
He's a really nice boy.
And, uh, yeah, we
adopted him recently,
so we're really happy and proud,
and it's been amazing.
Uh, you can just shoot
outside. It's just us.
It's me, the dog, the cars.
Whatever you do,
don't touch the cars.
Speaking of, how old
are you? You're so cute.
-I'm 9.
-Oh, that's sweet. My boy's 6.
Let's take-- Let's
check out the house.
Well, I'd rather not
really do the house,
because I'm a little, you
know, nervous about it, but--
[T Bird] Well, we're-- We run
a small crew. Don't worry.
She actually is
the cameraman. Woman.
-Camera-- Camera. Camera kid.
-Got it. You're the camera kid.
Wow. Is that on your phone?
-Um, no, it's on camera.
-Oh, you're so cute.
You're such a cute girl.
All right, so here's the house.
As you can see.
So here's the hall.
And then this room
over here you can use.
[suspenseful music playing]
All this.
The ceiling's amazing.
Fun, right?
So, uh...
where are the cameras?
Uh, what do you mean,
the cameras?
We got the kitchen here if you
need some water, bathrooms here.
So, easy, you know? That's good.
-Is that him?
-[Markus] We're going back--
Wait, what's
what's happening now?
-Mika!
-Sunny!
[Markus] What? How do
you know each other?
What's-- What's--?
-[choir singing]
-[Markus screaming]
[T Bird] Can't get away from
me, fucker! Come here, get up!
I'm gonna break your
fucking neck, you hear me?
-Motherfucker!
-[screaming]
[neck cracking]
-[T Bird] You good?
-It's okay.
[upbeat music playing]
[Sunny and Mikaylah
humming tune]
[T Bird] We just got here.
The fun's just starting.
-What? Want a punch?
-This is all ours.
-[Mikaylah yells joyfully]
-[imitating Bruce Lee]
[T Bird] Stuff on
the ceiling and shit.
-[Mikaylah] Sunny, come on.
-[Sunny exclaiming]
-[T Bird] Come on, red!
-[ball rattling]
Come on, baby, red!
Daddy needs a new Bentley!
[T Bird whoops]
-[Mikaylah yelps]
-[Sunny exclaiming]
-[Mikaylah] Get over now.
-[playing haltingly]
[laughs dramatically]
[playing chords]
[Sunny giggles]
[Sunny] Yah!
Yah!
Yeah, stupid!
[footsteps approaching]
[Sunny] Maybe...
Are you trying to get
the rainbow eye?
I know. I did that too.
[spray can rattles,
then hissing]
[Mikaylah grunts]
[whispers] Rainbow eye.
[Mikaylah] I'm okay. Okay.
Go, go, go, go.
Sit down, sit down.
Go, go, go, go! Go!
-[dramatic music playing]
-[kids chattering]
-[Mikaylah] Get a hotel.
-[T Bird] Circus Circus.
[Sunny speaks indistinctly]
[Mikaylah] Yeah.
That sounds fun.
[laughs]
[Sunny] What?
-[T Bird] That's great.
-Yeah.
[T Bird] Am I going...
-to Circus Circus?
-[Sunny] Yeah.
-Yeah.
-[T Bird chuckles]
[Sunny] What's Circus Circus?
[T Bird] It's a hotel
with a circus.
I think they got monkeys
in there too.
[Mikaylah] Yeah.
[all chattering indistinctly]
[dramatic music
continues playing]
You're a funny kid.
Was that really funny?
Is that funny?
-Is that a funny face?
-[giggles]
Is Mom's face funny?
-[giggling] Yeah.
-Mmm!
-[laughs]
-Aah!
[T Bird speaks indistinctly]
[T Bird's mom] Okay.
I'm following you, kid.
T Bird, that's not a very
efficient way to travel.
You want that? That's a
paintbrush. You can use it.
You can take that. That's
treasure. All right.
Now you got a new paintbrush.
Let's see, what
else can we find?
What else do you
want to take...
A bottle? No. That's heavy.
All right. I spy
with my little eye...
something...
red.
-Um, that thing over there.
-Yeah. You got it.
-Let's go.
[Sunny speaks indistinctly]
-You ready to get some toys?
-[both] Yeah.
[T Bird] All right.
-Let's go.
-[Sunny] Yeah.
-[music plays over speaker]
-[Mikaylah speaks indistinctly]
[T Bird] Marshmello, kids?
-[T Bird] Okay. Let's go.
-[both] Thank you, T Bird.
You're welcome.
[Sunny] Yeah, boy.
Oh, I dropped something.
[Mikaylah speaks indistinctly]
-[T Bird] Welcome...
-[Sunny] Let's go!
-...to my humble abode.
-[kids whooping]
[Mikaylah] Oh, my God!
-[T Bird] We live here now.
-Let's open this one.
Hey, guys.
This is for college.
[kids chattering indistinctly]
And this...
This is for my funeral.
And this...
is for your first car.
And this...
for cheeseburgers
for the rest of your life.
Yeah!
You want to give to the poor?
You want to give to the poor?
Hey, I know how you all poor
like I used to be.
Here you go. This one's for you.
[tattoo gun buzzing]
[T Bird] Did you ever get
to meet your dad?
No.
[T Bird] Me either.
I always used to
wonder about my dad.
Like, I used to think
he was, like, really good
or, like, really successful.
Like, he was like a...
Like a really good businessman.
Like, he was really rich.
And he, like, conquered
other people's countries.
And he used to ride in
on horseback.
And he would murder all the...
The bad guys and
liberate the women.
Or he was, like, really
good at the stock market
and he had a lot of money.
-What do you--?
-Can I do two?
-Another one?
-Yeah.
What do you think
about your dad?
[whispers] I don't know.
You know, when I was a kid, uh,
somebody sold me too.
I got sold, and they took me to
a farm with a bunch of horses.
And there was this gay--
Gay cowboy.
This gay cowboy used to...
[voice breaks] This gay cowboy
used to always
come in my room...
[clears throat]
...when I didn't want him to.
I fucking hate
that gay cowboy.
Like, if I could just kill
that motherfucking gay cowboy,
I would. I would kill him.
Can you kill the guy
that stole Sunny?
I already killed him.
No.
Yeah, I broke his neck,
remember?
No, the guy who
brought us there.
-[T Bird] Who's that guy?
-[Mikaylah] I don't know.
[Sunny speaking indistinctly]
-[T Bird] Did you see him?
-Yeah.
-Do you know his name?
-No.
He was somebody from
Child Protective Services.
Child Protective Services?
And he took mine
and Sunny's mom.
-He took you from your mom?
-Yeah.
That's exactly
what they did to me.
Then they sent me to
that gay cowboy farm.
[Mikaylah] I-- I'm done.
[Sunny humming]
Why would someone ever
do that to someone's kid?
[whispering indistinctly]
Andy Dick. Andy Dick.
Andy Dick.
[upbeat music playing]
Hey, you seen Andy Dick?
-You know Andy Dick?
-No.
Hey, man, you seen Andy Dick?
Come here, you fuck!
Where's Andy Dick?
Who's seen Andy Dick?
Andy Dick, where are you at?
I wanted to go to
the Bahamas with Joseph,
and I don't know what's going
on, to be honest with you.
Sick of it. I don't even want
to do this, you know? I--
And we're like, "You ate it."
And then we'd just chop them up
and eat them and make bacon.
-Yeah, like--
-And that's how we survived.
It's good enough. They're
a little tit hanging out,
a little nip.
I'm not a woman, hm?
[soft jazz music playing]
-I got a new wig.
-[woman] Really?
What are you doing?
T Bird! No.
Yeah, my dad never
taught me how to shave.
Can you stop moving?
[Mikaylah] Don't move.
[Mikaylah] T Bird,
I want to go to school.
Hey, there, boy.
[Mikaylah] I want
to go to school.
I'm here for a good time.
Let's do your profile picture.
So do like a kissy, pouty face.
Mm, put your glasses
down a little bit.
Now, like, make like
a pouty face or something.
-Yeah.
-[shutter clicks]
Nice. Mm, let's do...
Do, like-- Yeah, now
do pouty face. Yeah.
[shutter clicks]
-[shutter clicks]
-Okay.
[shutter clicks]
[T Bird] Super gay
and ready to go.
No, just gay and
single. Casual.
[T Bird] Looking for
an old man named Andy Dick.
Now... gay, single.
And then profile picture.
Let's do...
Then pop the kissy-face
one on your message.
Let's go. Heart. Heart.
Heart.
And...
make.
-All done.
-[knocks on door]
Mom, can you get the door?
I'm having a couple
friends come over.
Tell them to just,
like, sit down and...
Can you make them those
cocktails you made for...
Uncle Jim?
What was that, a rock island?
What was that drink?
Whatever we have.
Give 'em something, Mom.
[Andy's mom] Hello.
Good evening.
Hello.
[Andy] Can you make
a round of drinks?
Have a seat. Hope this
is who I think it is.
-Hi.
-Oh, baby!
-Oh, look at you.
-Look at you.
-I love your outfit.
-Oh, please. Do come in.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God,
look at this one. Mm!
Brothers. Cousins. Neighbor.
[moans]
Don't touch a proper lady.
[electronic dance music playing]
[Andy's mom] Oh, this
ought to be good.
Something's on with this one.
-[Andy] Oh!
-[T Bird] What's up?
[Andy] Who's this stud?
-I like! [laughs]
-Welcome home, brother.
-[Andy] Thirsty boy!
-[glass shatters]
[overlapping chatter, laughing]
[Andy] Oh! Be careful.
That's some China. Oh, my God.
-Be careful of that.
-[man 1] Is this the party?
[man 2] I didn't know you had
such a crazy friend.
[Andy] I love you.
I don't know you.
[overlapping chattering]
[Andy] Do you know him?
-Who bought me--?
-[T Bird] Hands up in the air!
[T Bird yelling indistinctly]
Are you Andy Dick, motherfucker?
Huh? Is that your name,
motherfucker? Huh? Yeah?
[grunts] Fucking dead now, huh?
Nah, you ain't dead.
[Andy groaning]
[Andy mumbles]
[Andy screams]
What if they-- I'm not--
[T Bird grunts]
Shut the fuck up!
-[Andy's mom gasps]
-Stay on the ground!
Get on the fucking ground!
You're fucking coming with me.
[Andy] Mom, call the cops!
[Sunny] He's coming.
[Andy] Get off of me!
-[Andy] Put down!
-Put him in! Put him in!
-Put him in, put him in!
-[Sunny] He's coming.
Okay, hurry, hurry!
Hurry. Hurry!
-[Andy groans]
-[Mikaylah] Come on, come on.
-[T Bird grunts]
-[Andy] Ow! My leg!
[Sunny] Come on!
That's him, right?
That was the guy?
Is it? That was
the Dick guy, right?
-[Mikaylah] Yeah.
-[Andy] Let me out of here!
-[laughs]
-[Mikaylah] I hate you!
-Got you, bitch! Ha-ha!
-[Mikaylah yells]
[T Bird] I'm gonna
take his fingers.
Cut one finger off at a time
so he'll never be able
to touch a kid again.
[Andy] I'm not a child molester!
-Yes, you did!
-[Andy] I was molested
as a child.
Let me out of
this fucking trunk...
-[siren whooping]
-...or someone's gonna get
-fucking help.
-Oh, shit.
[Mikaylah] What do we do?
[T Bird] I ain't pulling over.
What do you want from me?
-Get out of the car!
-Get the fuck out of the car!
[Mikaylah] No, no, no.
[T Bird] I ain't
stopping for nobody!
-[sirens wailing]
-[Sunny] Oh, God.
[T Bird] All right, we
gotta plug in your house.
-What did you say, 29 Palms?
-[Mikaylah] Yeah.
[T Bird] Shit, here's another
one. You want some too?
Come on, now. I'm a good guy.
[Sunny] Yeah,
I wish everybody knew...
I ain't stopping for nobody.
I'm a good guy. I'm a hero.
I saved these kids.
-[Sunny] Go away!
-We got a stop sign there.
-You're gonna cause us to wreck!
-[Sunny] Go away!
[T Bird] One of these days, I'm
gonna get my own house out here.
And if somebody bothers me,
I'm gonna call the cops.
You can't do that
if you're in jail.
[sirens wailing]
Give this to your mom.
No, maybe not.
Keep it for yourself.
-[kids] Go away! Go away!
-Pull over! Stop the vehicle!
-Pull the vehicle over!
-[Mikaylah] Go!
-Pull it over!
-Gonna have to shoot me, boys!
-Shoot me!
-Pull it over!
Shoot me in the face
now, won't you?
-Pull it over!
-Shoot me then! Shoot me then!
I don't care if I die.
I've been dead before.
[officer yells indistinctly]
No! Go away!
[officer] Get out of the car!
I'm taking 'em home
to their mom.
Where are you gonna take 'em?
I'm taking 'em home
to their mom's house.
Where are you gonna
take 'em, huh,
you black-and-white
piece of shit?
You gonna take 'em
to the black market?
You wanna take 'em
to the black market, huh?
You wanna take 'em
to the black market?
-[Sunny yelling]
-[Mikaylah] Go away!
[Sunny] Go away!
Pull it over now!
Pull it over now!
-Pull it fucking over!
-[kids] Go away! Go!
[sound fades away]
[Seth Fleming's
"Methamphetamine" playing]
It all started somewhere
It filled an empty hole
It helped the hurt
To vanish
And then it took control...
[grunting]
[chuckles softly]
Come here, boy.
[screams]
Till it choked my lungs
Lost in the desert
A mother's misplaced son
Whoa!
Narco contentment
Chemical dreams
Her poison tears
Are tainted
[sirens wailing]
-Is this it?
-[Mikaylah] Yeah, yeah.
[kids chattering indistinctly]
[T Bird] All right, guys.
It's the end of the line here.
[inhales deeply]
[Sunny speaks indistinctly]
[officer 1] On the ground,
motherfucker!
[officer 2] Move it, move it!
[officer 3]
Get out of the car!
-Get out of the car. Right now!
-[officers yelling]
Did you take that money?
You guys go to your mom's, okay?
And you guys be good.
Here. You take this.
-Want that mask?
-[Sunny] Yeah.
You take it with you.
[officers yelling]
Give me a hug.
Give me a hug back.
[Mikaylah] Bye, T Bird.
[voice breaks] You go
to your mom, all right?
-[officers yelling]
-[Mikaylah sniffles]
-Go to your mom.
-[officer] Watch the kids.
[T Bird] Go to your mom's.
Go to your mom's.
-[officer] Hands up!
-[officers yelling]
-Your mom's up there, right?
-[officers] Hands up!
-Get down on the ground!
-On the ground!
-Face down!
-Get down on the ground!
-Get down!
-Get on the ground.
-[dog barking]
-[officers continue yelling]
-Face down!
-Put your fucking hands up!
Get down on the ground now!
-Get on the fucking ground!
-Hands in the air!
-Put your fucking hands up!
-Hands, hands!
[gunshots]
[choir singing]
[dog barking]
-[Mikaylah screaming]
-[gunshots]
-[kids] Mom!
-[mother gasping]
[all sobbing]
-[Sunny] Mom!
-[gasping]
-It's you, it's you!
-[all sobbing]
[dog barking]
[mother] I thought
I lost you! Oh!
[all continue sobbing]
What is this? What is this?!
Money. A lot.
Is it real? Oh, my...
[T Bird] What do you want
to be when you grow up?
Maybe... Maybe be a...
Maybe be a normal person.
Be a normal person.
[T Bird] Me too.
[upbeat music playing]