Tad Jones and the Secret of King Midas (2017) Movie Script
1
(THUNDER CRASHING)
We're gonna get dragged!
We've gotta get out of here!
Just five minutes more!
(WHISPERING VOICES)
(VOICES STOP)
(BEEPING)
Over there!
I found it. I finally found it.
Okay, let's get out of here!
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
ANTIQUE DEALER: See?
Told you she'd be here, sir.
I kept my part of the agreement.
RACKHAM: Well, a deal is a deal.
Oh, wow! You are really generous,
Mister Rackham, sir. (CHUCKLES)
Enjoy it.
What... What are you...
Hey, what are you doing, fellows?
Let go of me!
No, no, no!
(YAWNING)
Back to business.
Herodotus was considered
the father of History. Cool.
Super cookie.
Wow, this guy was the bomb.
Hey, you're really
hitting those books hard.
Tell me about it. First year
of archaeology is super demanding.
I don't get what you find
so interesting about this old stuff.
Oh, now I get it.
- Now that is something worth studying.
- She's hot.
Hey, don't talk like that about Sara.
Don't start again.
Nobody buys that you know her.
Actually, we even kissed.
Okay, just once.
Oh, here we go.
Then we barely saw each other
after that.
You know, she's been going away
on long expeditions,
and I've been studying and working.
We kind of left things in the air.
Oh, sure. You kissed this girl?
But even long distance,
I feel her here, close to my heart.
- I can sense the trembling.
- (MOBILE VIBRATING)
I can really sense the trembling.
(GASPS) It's Sara!
Yeah. And I just got a call
from Scarlett Johansson.
- Hey, watch it!
- TAD: Sorry.
Tad, you should try
living in reality for a change.
(STAMMERING) Sara?
Tad. I hope I'm not interrupting.
Not at all.
(ALL IMITATE KISSING)
Hey, I saw you on the cover
of National Petrographic.
(CHUCKLES) I know, right?
Did you get the invitation
to the exhibition?
Yeah! I can't wait to be there!
Wonderful. I can't wait to see you.
Me, too.
SARA: The exhibition opens
at the Luxorious Hotel, in Las Vegas.
- Need directions?
- Let me find a pen.
Whoa!
(GASPS)
- Where are you going?
- What? Nowhere, I'm still here.
No, no, I didn't mean you.
- (GRUNTS)
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- My bad!
- Tad, do you want me to hang up?
Stop right there!
Okay, so I won't hang up.
No, wait!
SARA: Are you okay?
Yeah. So, Luxorious Hotel?
Yes. First, take the I-290 west
for 30 miles...
I-290 west for 30 miles!
- And turn the second left.
- Right, keep left.
And then go straight.
You'll get to a pyramid shaped hotel.
You can't miss it.
Big pyramid-shaped hotel.
I got it.
No, I didn't.
What? Did you get it or not?
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
(SCREAMING)
- Bye, Sara!
- Whoa!
- (CLANGS)
- Tad?
(WAILS)
(SCREAMING)
(SIGHS IN RELIEF) That was close.
Oops! Sorry.
Is everything okay in there, boss?
Stones!
You're...
TAD: Oh, my lucky cologne.
Smell that.
My Indy hat,
my fancy tuxedo, and my bow tie.
Two shirts, suspenders,
new underwear...
I think that's all.
Do you think she'll like it, Jeff?
(BARKING)
Jeff!
Ready, Jeff? Let's go see Sara.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Sir, are you all...
- Water!
- (SCREAMS)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(SCREAMS)
Water! Water!
You?
Need water!
It's you!
I haven't had a drink in 20 days.
No, no, no, stop! Oh! That's... Oh!
- (MUMMY BELCHES)
- (TAD RETCHING)
Oh, you can't imagine
the trip I had to find you.
Oh, it's so good to see you!
It's not possible!
What are you doing here?
Oh, it's a long story,
I'd better not tell you.
(LAUGHS) But I will. You see,
when you left my lost city,
I was judged for letting you go.
The Mummy Court exiled me!
TAD: They kicked you out?
MUMMY: Yeah, all because of you!
Well, and a bad deal with my lawyer.
But that's another story.
The thing is,
I had to say goodbye to my home tomb
and then travel further
than I ever had before.
I got lost in the desert
following these strange lines.
I didn't know what to do.
And then, I remembered you.
My one and only human friend!
Friend?
Oh, you're right.
- We're more like brothers.
- (JEFF BITING)
Uh, can you please control
this little monster?
Jeff, down, boy!
Uh, well, sorry, but I was just leaving.
(GASPS) But I just got here!
I'm going to Vegas to see Sara.
Sara? Oh, my Sara?
Oh, I miss her so much.
What are we waiting for?
Oh, no, no, no. You are not coming.
- Yes.
- No.
- Yes.
- No.
MUMMY: Yes!
Whoo-hoo! I'm the king of the world!
Hey! Get back here, you deserter!
Could you please sit down
and stop drawing attention to yourself?
What is with you?
Listen, you're a mummy.
You scare people.
In my world, you're a zombie.
Zombie.
Sounds good! I like that name.
Excellent. Now please be quiet.
Okay, okay, I'm sorry. You got it.
I won't move a muscle. Look!
(GROANS)
Oh, what's this?
(GASPS) Oh, my... It's a necklace!
- It's for me, right?
- Hey! That is not for you!
MUMMY: I think it looks great
with my eyes.
(TYRES SCREECHING)
It's not for you!
Oh! It's for Sara.
Yes, it's for Sara.
(GASPS) I knew it.
Come on, tell me everything.
I'm a relationship expert.
Five hundred years of experience.
I know everything about women.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREO)
Hey!
(SCREAMING)
See? Total heartbreaker.
(CAR CRASHING)
Okay.
I'm going to ask her
to be my girlfriend.
Huh.
I'm not sure how to tell you this, Tad,
but, uh, she seems a little
out of your league.
You know, like you're punching
above your weight.
Like she's a 10 and you're a two.
She's hot, you're not. (LAUGHS)
She's too good for you.
TAD: Thank you for being so encouraging.
What are friends for?
MUMMY: Friends? Brothers!
Awesome!
What is "awesome"?
Uh, well, people say it
when they really like something...
Something super impressive.
Oh, I get it.
Like the Machu Picchu,
like the Pyramids of Lima Culture,
like Lake Titicaca.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all that.
So, now you stay in the car.
Don't move a muscle, you hear me?
(TAD GROANS)
(JEFF BARKS)
Wow, look at that, Jeff.
WOMAN: Mr. Stones?
Hi, I'm Tiffany Maze,
Professor Lavrof's assistant.
- Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
- (JEFF BARKS)
Oh, what a cute little dog.
Who's a good boy?
Wanna shake?
Uh, sorry, he's just not
very connected to this world.
Mrs. Lavrof told me to take care of you.
I'm gonna do my thesis
on her latest discoveries.
Oh, wow! You're majoring
in archaeology, too?
Boston University. I'm a sophomore.
Chicago. But I'm just a freshman.
(TAD SIGHS)
But compared to Sara...
She is amazing.
I'm learning so much from her.
It's incredible where she is now.
The most important
archaeologist nowadays.
I'd give anything to be like her.
Come on. Sara's waiting for you.
(JEFF BARKING)
The bust there,
and the suits of armour there.
Oh, careful.
Hey! Belzoni! How are you doing,
my little bird man?
(JEFF BARKING)
(SQUAWKING)
(LAUGHS) They're good friends.
Tad. You're here.
Sara.
(IN SLOW MOTION) Sara!
I'm so happy to see you.
Come on, let me show you the exhibit.
You're gonna love it.
Awesome!
- (HORN HONKS)
- (GASPS)
Oh, awesome!
Awesome! Awesome! Awesome!
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) A little less conversation,
a little more action...
Awesome!
All this aggravation
ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite
and a little less bark
A little less fight
and a little more spark.
Close your mouth
and open up your heart...
Eh?
Hello!
(SCREAMS)
Ooh, ooh!
Awesome!
Oh, man!
King Midas' papyrus!
Can you read the inscription?
"Made in China"?
(GIGGLES) The papyrus, not the stand.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, the... Sorry, my bad.
Um...
Looks like hieroglyphic writing.
Exactly.
This is what I've been working on
all this time,
Midas' magic collar.
It's made up of three pieces.
One of them seems to be in what
is called the Red Temple of Baal.
I found these hieroglyphics that point
to the exact location of the temple.
If the collar really exists...
So does Midas' golden touch!
The power to turn
everything you touch into gold.
Tad, I've been so busy that... (SIGHS)
Sara... Um...
I have something to ask you.
Go on.
Would you be my... (STAMMERING)
Be my...
Mummy?
Be your mummy?
- Sara!
- You?
Get over here. Give me a hug.
I told you to wait in the car!
What are you doing here?
Oh, I better not tell you. (CHUCKLES)
But I will.
You see, when you left my lost city...
Oh, yeah, that's great.
I will tell her later.
TIFFANY: Miss Lavrof?
The script for tonight.
Hey, what's with Elvis?
He's an old friend.
- Right, Mummy?
- Hi!
You call him Mummy?
- Yeah, he doesn't preserve very well.
- Hey!
Please, excuse me.
I still have so much to do.
Oh, right. Don't worry.
Come on!
Bye! Bye, Sara!
What's with the getup?
I see why you love her so much.
You're definitely
punching above your weight.
Let's go.
(GRUNTS)
(WHOOPING)
(SINGING) A little less constipation...
Okay, King, see you later.
Yeah! Let's go to the party!
No, no, no, no. You'll stay here.
What?
You're gonna leave me alone again?
Just until Sara's presentation ends.
I don't want any trouble, right?
Okay, fine, I'll stay here
if you promise me something.
And that is?
That you take
your vicious canine with you.
Come here, Jeff. Come here!
(JEFF GROWLS)
And don't leave the room, okay?
(DOOR CLOSES)
- (STRUMS GUITAR)
- (BONES CRACKING)
Not awesome.
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
Hi, there. Uh, nice to meet...
Hey, how are you?
Nice to meet you...
Hello! My name is Tad.
Am I speaking the wrong language?
Hey, Belzoni, good to see you!
Waiter? What do you mean?
Not a chance. This is my best suit.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, whoa...
Oh! Oh...
Oh!
I'll take care of that, sir.
Keep an eye on that one.
(GUESTS APPLAUDING)
(CHUCKLES)
An ancient relic has revealed
the real story of King Midas.
It's a papyrus called
"A Sacrifice for Love."
It shows him as an all-powerful king
who defeated all his enemies for Apollo.
Grateful, Apollo bestowed
upon King Midas
a collar with three golden pieces.
The collar would bring the wearer
the power to turn
anything he touched into gold.
Midas amassed piles and piles of gold.
Everything he laid his hands on
would turn into the precious metal.
But this golden touch
soon became a curse.
His daughter reached out to hug him
and she too was turned into gold.
Devastated, Midas returned to Apollo
and begged for mercy.
Apollo told Midas
to get rid of his collar,
offering each of its three pieces
to a god
in different temples around the world.
Midas followed Apollo's orders,
and by giving up an immense power,
brought his daughter back to life.
Or in other words,
he made a sacrifice for love.
- (GUESTS APPLAUDING)
- Wow! (WHISTLES)
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm delighted to present to you
my most important discovery,
the definitive proof
that thousands of years ago
King Midas and his collar
- actually existed.
- Huh?
A gift?
The Midas Papyrus.
(BEEPING)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Now, this is a party.
- (GRUNTS)
- (GROANS)
We've got it, boss.
- Go, Belzoni!
- Get him!
- (GUESTS SCREAMING)
- Uh-oh!
(GRUNTS)
(BARKING)
(MEN PANTING)
(JEFF CONTINUES BARKING)
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- You?
- Hey, thanks.
- (MEN SHOUTING)
- (BOTH SCREAMING)
- (MEN GRUNTING)
- I got it!
No, I got it! Ahh!
Huh?
Tad!
(GASPS)
BOTH: Whoa!
(CHUCKLES)
You come with me.
SARA: Get your hands off me!
Sara!
- Huh?
- (GRUNTING)
- Tad!
- Sara!
(YELPS)
Find me!
(SCREAMING)
Sara...
SARA: Wake up, Tad.
Find me.
Tad, come back to me.
Tad.
Wake up, Tad.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
Wait. Where's Sara? They took her!
It's a kidnapping!
Like Pizarro and Atahualpa!
Like Corts and Montezuma!
Actually like Corts...
Tad, are you all right?
Yeah. This is built to last.
Oh, wait a minute...
Sara's notebook.
She wanted me to have it.
I bet those goons took Sara so
she could lead them to Midas' collar.
Then we're gonna have to find it first.
With this, we can be one step
ahead of them and rescue Sara.
Look at this.
The Red Temple of Baal.
Sara believed this was Midas'
first stop on his pilgrimage.
The key to its location
is in these hieroglyphics,
but I can't decipher them.
Mmm. Let me see. I'll see if I can find
something about Tartessus' language.
Great. We should also look
for its dialects.
Good thinking.
Wow!
There's no reference
of those ancient languages any more.
- Total dead end.
- (SIGHS) There has to be a way.
(READING IN ANCIENT LANGUAGE)
"There you should find Baal."
What did you just say?
(SPEAKING ANCIENT LANGUAGE)
No, no, no, the other stuff.
Oh! (SPEAKS ANCIENT LANGUAGE)
How can you read that?
Well, dead tongues are my specialty.
Check it out.
See? Totally dead. (LAUGHS)
Your friend is a bit weird.
(SIGHS) You have no idea.
Here it says,
"Four suns toward the dawn,
"by horse from Setefilla,
"there you should find Baal."
Ta-da!
"Setefilla..."
(CHIRPING SADLY)
Sorry, buddy.
Setefilla is what the Tartessians
called the city of Seville.
"Four suns toward the dawn."
A sun was a day in ancient times.
By horse...
120 miles.
120 miles towards the dawn.
To the east!
The Red Temple of Baal is in Granada!
That's it, Tad.
There's the Alhambra.
The Moorish palace also known
as "The Red One."
That's where they're taking Sara!
(CHIRPS EXCITEDLY)
Get ready, guys.
We're going to Spain.
- Spain!
- Yes.
- (MUMMY WHOOPING)
- Wait for us, Midas.
Hold on, Sara.
Tad Stones, on the case.
RACKHAM: For the last time,
how do I use this
to find Midas' collar?
I won't tell you a thing.
(GROANS)
Leave her. There are other ways
to make her cooperate.
Will it work, sir?
That truth serum might be out of date.
Well, there's only one way to find out.
What do you think of me?
(STAMMERING) Sir...
Come on, don't be shy.
- Well?
- No, I can't...
You... (GULPS)
You are an arrogant bully,
uncool and very cheap!
I'm sorry.
- (SNICKERING)
- Shut it!
And you're also a daddy's boy. Ah!
(GROWLS)
And your feet stink! (SCREAMING)
(TRAPDOOR CLOSES)
Your turn.
Where are the pieces of the collar?
(WEAKLY) I won't say a thing.
Don't hold back. You want to say it.
No...
My head... Midas...
That's it! Where are the pieces?
Everything is in my notebook.
Tad...
- Tad...
- (THUDS)
What just happened?
I believe you overdosed her, sir.
Idiots! Who's that Tad
she was mumbling about?
Sir, I think he is that guy
with the very big nose.
I want that notebook!
Find me that fool of a Tad!
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
ON HEADPHONES)
(SINGING) A little less conversation,
a little more action
Please
(SHOUTS) What?
Could you lower your voice
and stop drawing attention?
Someone's jealous of my manly voice.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
We need to find you a better disguise.
What are you talking about?
I look fabulous.
So this is the place we're going to?
(GASPS) Awesome, awesome...
Listen, this thing says
food is great in Spain.
- You're a real face-stuffer, right?
- Mmm.
MUMMY: Awesome, awesome...
Uh, Tad, what's an Antonio Banderas?
TIFFANY: I can't believe we're about
to find such a big discovery.
We can make history.
Yeah. It's not gonna be easy.
We have to decipher these notes
to find the Temple of Baal.
Taxi!
To the Alhambra, please.
Of course, mi amigo. Come on in.
Thanks.
Hang on. Where's Mummy?
He said he was going to find something
to make him fit in.
Fit in? How is he supposed to fit...
I don't believe it.
I don't believe it.
I can't believe everyone dresses
like this here. It's so strange!
- (BARKING)
- (SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
- (JEFF YELPS)
- (PANTING)
Ol, ol, ol!
That is the most beautiful
elegance I have ever seen.
Oh, such a nice guy!
Are you happy now?
I hope you don't keep on saying
that I draw attention. Hmm.
(CAMERA CLICKING)
(GROANS)
I'll take you to the end
of the world if you ask for it.
For now, just take us to the Alhambra.
Well, we can go there, too.
- (HORN BLARES)
- Oh!
(HORN PLAYING
LA CUCARACHA)
- (ENGINE STARTS)
- Oh! Here we go.
They have the notebook, sir.
What are the orders?
- Take it off the hands of that clown.
- Roger that.
Please, don't hurt Tad.
Oh, don't worry,
we won't cause him a lot of pain,
I guess.
Wealth? All this is for wealth?
(LAUGHING)
That's so cute.
No.
The power of Midas
goes way beyond wealth, my dear.
What is that?
Something I bought
from an antiques dealer.
Midas' power is the power of the gods.
The power to rule the world.
(EXHALES)
And it will be mine.
Ay, mi palomita.
It's hard to believe
you're from this world.
Technically, I'm not really
from this world. Long story.
- You'll see, when I was a...
- TAD: Stop it!
Uh, do you know those guys behind us?
TAD: Oh, no. We're in trouble, guys.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Are we in danger?
Don't worry, my palomita.
I swear nothing will happen to you
while I'm here.
(SCREAMING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
They're getting closer!
They want the notebook.
Ooh! What a nice souvenir!
It's not for you!
- Hey, what did you throw it away for?
- Come on, help me!
I get it, I get it, I get it!
There you go!
(LAUGHS) Yes!
- Hello.
- Oh, hi.
- Oh! Watch out!
- Whoa! Whoa!
Quick! Release the hood!
(GASPS)
(DINGS)
Oh!
- (WHINES)
- Jeff!
Oh, God! Oh, God!
We're not gonna get out of this!
(BOTH GROAN)
- (GASPS)
- Siesta time.
- Driver down! Driver down!
- (YELPS) Tad!
It's okay Tiff, I got this!
ALL: Whoa!
- Get out of the way!
- (HORN HONKING)
Incoming!
(BOTH SCREAM)
- What is this thing?
- (CAMERA CLICKS)
(TYRES SCREECHING)
(GROANING)
(GRUNTING)
(CONTINUES GROANING)
(GASPS)
- TAD: Watch out!
- What?
TAD: The bridge!
(YELPING)
TAD: Whoa!
(SCREAMING)
(TAD SCREAMING)
(YELPING)
MUMMY: Awesome!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(YELPS)
(TYRES SCREECHING)
Come on. Let's move
before they come back.
So this is the siesta thing
- he guidebook was talking about.
- (DRIVER SNORING)
So, somewhere around here Midas offered
the first piece of the collar.
Ah, look at this colour.
Look at this sun. Look at this light.
Oh, how I miss my muddy tombs.
(GROANING)
(YELPS)
(LAUGHING)
According to the legend,
Apollo taught Midas a great lesson.
What's that?
That your wealth is not as important as
the people you have close to you.
And what's more,
it's worth making a sacrifice for love.
Yeah, that's it.
I'm afraid we did not get
the notebook, sir.
You let that idiot escape?
He is a genius, sir.
High-level training. Total pro!
A genius? Really?
Total pro.
I don't care!
I want that notebook. Got it?
Yes, sir. The notebook, or my life.
Hang on a second. This looks familiar.
Tiff, look at this.
The drawing looks like that fountain!
Oh, there's an inscription here.
"Centuries after Midas entered
the temple of Baal,
"the sultans protected it
with 12 beasts."
Nine, 10, 11, 12.
Twelve lions. It has to be here.
There should be a lever of some sort.
(GRUNTING)
Oh. Uh...
(PANTING)
It would take a bulldozer
to move these things. Whoa!
Tad, it moved!
Hey, Tiff, look.
There's a mark on this lion.
This one has a mark too.
And it turns!
Great. Let's try to turn
all the heads with a mark.
(FLY BUZZING)
(TAD GRUNTING)
MUMMY: Oh, come on, Tad.
You're doing it wrong. It'd be better
to push it from the other side.
It would be better
if you gave me a hand.
Oh, that's funny. That's really funny.
Help me with this one, Tiff.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Come on, Tiff!
Nailed it! (LAUGHING)
(SINGING)
Oh. Sorry. That's something I do
when I, uh... (SINGS)
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
You really have
no self-respect, do you? (SCOFFS)
Maybe I can find my cousins there!
Belzoni, wait for us here.
And take care of Jeff.
(JEFF PANTING)
Careful, guys. It's slippery.
(GASPS) Mmm. Mmm. Tasty.
What's that noise?
(RATS SQUEAKING)
- (SCREAMS) Rats! I hate them! Rats!
- Tiff, Tiff. Relax.
Will you just stop screaming?
You'll scare them.
What's wrong with them anyway?
They're so cute.
Oh, I feel like I'm back home.
Yuck! Gross!
Guys, this is a labyrinth. It'll take
forever to find the way to the temple.
Hold on a second. I'll ask.
Ask? Who?
Who do you think? Him.
(SQUEAKS)
- (SQUEAKING IN MORSE CODE)
- Do you know where is
Baal's temple?
Sorry. I think I didn't say it right.
My rat-morse isn't the best.
Are you nuts?
Do you really expect that a rat...
- (SQUEAKING IN MORSE CODE)
- Do you know where is Baal's temple?
Where is Baal's temple?
The temple.
T-E-M-P-L-E. Temple!
(SQUEAKS)
Got it. Let's go.
Oh, heels...
We're going to follow a rat. Seriously?
(SNORING)
(LAUGHING)
HENCHMAN: Hi, birdie.
You!
Lead us to your owner,
or we will kill your feathered friend!
(JEFF SNORING)
- (RAT SQUEAKING)
- (MUMMY PANTING)
This way!
(LAUGHING) That's a good one.
This guy is hilarious.
(SQUEAKING)
Okay, okay, I got it.
Thanks, my little friend. See you!
Great. Now what?
He says we have to enter there.
- Are you kidding?
- The rat has spoken.
Come on, guys.
We didn't get to this point for nothing.
You and your rat!
(MOCKS)
Mmm.
The guidebook was right.
Spanish food is awesome.
The coast is clear. Come on.
(TIFFANY GRUNTING)
Whoever said
archaeology isn't glamorous?
Oh, that wasn't so bad.
- (RUMBLING)
- Uh-oh.
(ALL SCREAMING)
Huh?
Baal!
We made it.
I told you! The rat was right!
The rat was right! (LAUGHS)
Hey, look.
TIFFANY: A golden trail.
TAD: Midas was here.
(TIFFANY GASPS)
Midas' collar piece.
Uh, guys,
let's get out of here, okay?
This place is creepy even for
my standards.
- (RUMBLES)
- (GASPS)
No, no, no, no, no!
Oh, let's pray to the Pachamama.
Oh, Goddess of Earth, please,
help us at this time of...
Oh, I guess she isn't listening.
Maybe she was listening.
(ALL SCREAMING)
The room is a trap!
(PANTING)
- We've got to get out of here!
- Hold on!
The water has to drain out somewhere.
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(MUMBLING)
(MUMBLING)
- (GASPING)
- Tad! I can't hold on much longer!
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(MUMBLING)
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
I found a way out. Help me!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(BOTH GROAN)
I'm fine, by the way.
- Not that anyone asked.
- (RAT SQUEAKING)
Oh, I'm sorry, little guy.
We'll find you another sewer.
(EXHALES)
(GASPS)
We did it.
(LAUGHS) Tad, we did it!
- We did it! My gosh!
- We did it! Yeah!
RACKHAM: Congratulations
to the happy couple.
Tiffany?
- Tad?
- Sara!
Stop right there!
- You release her!
- (GUNS COCKING)
You know, as soon as possible.
Give me the piece or I'll end her.
Tad, don't do it.
I'm sorry. I have no choice.
Please.
And the notebook, please.
Give me the notebook,
or you won't see her again.
You're despicable.
Yes. It's all here.
Let's go!
TIFFANY: You have no right!
We didn't do all that work
just to have you steal the piece.
That's what happens
when you play against Jack Rackham.
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
(GRUNTS)
Useless mutt!
Sara!
I thought I lost you.
Oh, I wish I had bodily fluids
so I could cry at reunions.
- Belzoni.
- (CHIRPS)
- (JEFF BARKS)
- Hey, buddy. Glad to see you.
Jeff, what happened to you?
We need to move fast before Rackham
finds the other pieces of the collar.
I wouldn't worry about that.
Tad, what are you talking about?
He wanted the notebook,
but never said anything of
it being complete.
Oh, well done, Tad!
Yeah? Well, no, I think...
So, where do we go?
To Cappadocia, in Turkey.
There are hundreds of temples there.
Rackham won't be able to find
the right one without these pages.
That would give us a head start.
So let's go, guys!
Let's go to Turkey.
- (HORNS HONKING)
- (TYRES SCREECHING)
Here we are.
Thanks. How much is it?
This fare, I do it for free,
my palomita.
Oh, thank you.
What is this "palomita"
he keeps talking about?
(GIGGLES)
My gift to you.
It embodies the heart, soul
and the belly of our people.
I'll be waiting for you
under the lights of the Alhambra.
And you know it.
(HORN PLAYING LA CUCARACHA)
Spaniards are crazy.
- Okay.
- (SHIP HORN BLARING)
That Captain will try to find us
a spot on his ship.
Great.
Check this, Tad.
This is the area
where we should find the next piece.
Temple of Ariniddu.
Baal's wife. Goddess of the light.
Cool! So what about the third temple?
I don't know much about it.
The only clue
is this symbol that appears
in everything related to Midas.
It seems to be
some sort of personal mark.
Wow, you rock, Sara.
Uh...
Tad...
- Yes, Sara?
- Uh...
I wanted you to know that
after all this time
we've been apart, I...
(CAPTAIN WHISTLES)
Come on, are we leaving or what?
I'm dying here.
Again.
Oh, sorry, I, uh...
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Okay. Thank you. Thanks a lot.
Hey, guys, I got us a trip.
(SHIP HORN BLARES)
Tad, you're the best.
By the mummy Juanita's teeth,
that is a floating metropolis.
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
Not that one.
That one.
Forget metropolis.
That's not even a tiny little village.
- Hey, Tiff.
- Hi.
Can I ask you something?
Go for it.
Oh! That's so sweet.
So do you think Sara will like it?
Oh. Sara.
TAD: Yeah. I don't know
if it's good enough for her.
(RETCHING)
(VOMITING)
- (BREATHING HEAVILY)
- Is everything okay?
(GROANS) Perfect.
It's just that I'm a feet-on-the-ground
type of guy, you know.
A feet-under-the-ground type, actually.
Oh, my... Ooh.
You don't look much better than I do.
All that's happened got me thinking.
Yeah. Come on, cheer up,
everything'll be fine.
I've been so focused on my work,
I feel I've left people out of my life.
(SIGHS) One thing's for sure.
Talking won't solve anything, darling.
You've got to take the initiative.
Less conversation, more action.
That's actually good advice.
Oh, well, I got to confess
it isn't mine.
That's what the guy in Vegas
was singing about.
It took me a while to learn the lyrics.
Well, can you try it on me?
Just to see how it looks.
Oh. Yeah, good idea.
I think you're right. I should
stop talking and start taking action.
There you go. That's my Sara.
Thanks. You've been very helpful.
Enjoy the advice. It's for free.
I'll keep on evacuating the paella.
Oh, here it comes.
(VOMITING)
Okay. More action.
Get right to the point.
(CHIRPING)
It looks great on you.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Thank you.
Unbelievable.
They haggle over everything here.
Oh, this is amazing!
We're about to find the
second piece of the collar.
Water?
Don't be so excited.
Rackham could be around.
Take your stuff.
We can't lose any time.
Okay, let's go.
MUMMY: "Okay, let's go."
This can't be happening.
Let me see...
"This can't be happening."
Are you serious?
What are you doing?
Well, you're always complaining
about my human disguises
so, from now on,
I'm going to be exactly like you,
Mr. Perfect Human.
Check this out.
(SINGING)
I'm Tad Jones, I can't dance...
It's official.
Your friend is a total freak.
Come on. Mummy Bones on the case.
That is...
I am not at all like that!
And what are you doing
with a paella dish?
It's my present. I love it.
I'm taking it everywhere.
I would never wear
that thing on my back.
Okay, fine. Let's see
what the little monster thinks.
Hi, critter. I'm Tad. Super Cookie!
No, Jeff. I'm Tad. Come here.
MUMMY: Don't pay attention
to that impostor.
- Take this one. Here.
- I'm the real Tad.
- Look what I got!
- TIFFANY: Shh!
I want three teams.
Spread out and keep your eyes open.
- There are dozens of temples around.
- Yes, sir.
(PANTING)
(JEFF BITES)
- (JEFF SNARLING)
- (SCREAMING)
(SCREAM ECHOES)
(MUFFLED GROANING)
Report back here in three hours.
Okay, this is the place.
Whoa. What a view.
- Isn't it beautiful, Sara?
- Huh?
Sure.
Yeah, well...
SARA: It's getting dark.
We should all split up
to locate the temple.
- Great. I'll go with...
- Oh, oh!
With me. Me and Tad. Brothers for life.
Let's see who finds the temple first.
Boys versus girls.
Let's go, Tiffany.
Oh, thank goodness I stepped in.
What's going on here?
I was trying
to spend some time with Sara.
Haven't you noticed
something different about her?
Well, she has been acting
kind of distant.
Of course! How would she not?
You're not being the knight
in shining armour she needs.
The what?
But fear not.
We'll make Sara melt for your bones.
They don't call me the Great
Conquistador of Peru for nothing.
You just need some practice.
I can't believe it.
If we find the second piece,
we'll be just one step away from Midas.
Tiffany, there are
too many signs telling
Midas' power is not something
to mess with.
Are you saying we shouldn't
search for the collar?
I'm just saying that maybe
the collar shouldn't see the daylight.
(IN FEMALE VOICE) Hi, gorgeous.
Mummy, this isn't going to work.
Mummy? Who's Mummy? I'm Sara Lavrof.
No, no, no, no. I can't do this.
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Come on.
Do you love Sara or not?
With all my heart.
But then aren't you willing
to do whatever it takes?
(SIGHS)
Sara, I...
(IN FEMALE VOICE) Yes?
- I know you have a lot on your mind.
- Yes?
And you almost have no time
to think about the present,
which is where I am.
Mmm.
(SIGHS)
But what I truly want is to live
in the same age as you,
no matter which one, you know,
past, present or future.
I want to be your partner
in the big adventure of life.
Hey! Whoa! What are you doing?
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Oh, sorry.
But that was just so beautiful.
You have to tell Sara all that stuff.
She's gonna love it. Any woman
will fall in love with you now.
- (TAD GRUNTS)
- MUMMY: Tad!
HENCHWOMAN: There are no symbols
from the notebook here either.
It's impossible.
We've looked at over 20 temples.
We'd better find the right one
before total pro Tad does.
You? A total pro?
If it doesn't work out with Sara,
you've got Crazy Eyes down there.
Shh! Look at that. This is the temple.
Let's get back to Rackham.
Maybe the others had more luck.
Stay here with Jeff.
Holler if you see
those guys coming back.
(JEFF SNARLING)
Great.
(GASPS)
Whew! That was scary.
(GASPS)
(YELPING)
(PANTING)
(YELPS)
Tad. We've been looking for you.
The second piece!
I got it, Sara. I got it.
And not just that.
Look.
SARA: That mountain.
Midas' symbol!
Midas didn't make the last offering
in an existing temple.
He built one for Apollo.
The third piece has got to be there!
Yes. We have to hurry
and get it before Rackham.
Or we can destroy this one.
Destroy it?
The biggest discovery in history?
You can't be serious.
Tiffany, we can't let Rackham
get the power of Midas.
But, Sara, we're so close.
Tad, let's end this now.
No, Tad. Don't give it to her.
It's crazy.
Sara, isn't it better
that we get all the pieces?
The power of the gods does not belong
in the hands of mortals.
If Rackham gets the necklace,
he'll be invincible.
- Wait. Where's Tiffany?
- (CAR ENGINE STARTS)
I can't believe it!
Sara, I'm sorry...
I have to find the third piece
and destroy it before Rackham gets it.
Sara, wait for me!
No, Tad, I just need to be alone.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
RACKHAM: You fools! You mean to tell me
that between all of you
and after all these days of searching
you've found nothing?
This is useless!
That meathead in the hat has played me!
I wanna be on the winning team.
Hmm.
(SNARLING)
Oh, finally, you're here!
Where have you been?
Hey, are we going back with Sara?
She's gone.
And Tiffany?
She's gone too.
It's official.
You're a total disaster with women.
- How could I be such an idiot?
- Well, do you want my opinion?
All I had to do was give her the piece.
We'd have destroyed it
and that's it, end of story.
(TAD SIGHS)
You know, in 500 years
I have seen all kinds of love disasters,
and yours is one of the worst.
Please, don't start again.
Seriously, I never saw anyone
fail so many times.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay, I get it. I get it.
But I also never saw anyone
cross the whole world for love.
Now, you must complete your training.
- I'm not sure if I'm ready.
- Of course you are.
You have worked so hard
to get the woman you love.
Now, she needs you more than ever.
You're right.
I've never thought I'd say this,
but you're right.
I have to help her.
That's my brother.
Come on, tiger. Tiger.
Here I come, Sara.
Tad Stones, on the case.
(SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING)
(GRUNTING)
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)
(GASPS)
TAD: Come on, one more step.
I can't go any further, Tad.
I can't feel my legs!
(GASPS) My legs!
(GASPS) Oh, no!
(PANTING)
Sara.
Over there!
Rackham. We have to hurry.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Now you want me to climb down?
This is a violation of human rights.
First, you're not human.
And second,
there's no time to climb down.
Hey, that's my present.
What are you doing?
Using it.
You don't know
what you're doing, Tiffany.
All right. Jeff, come here.
Come on. Get over here.
This thing can have so many functions!
Carefully, we don't want to...
- (MUMMY WHOOPING)
- (TAD SCREAMING)
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
- MUMMY: Hey!
- Huh?
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(SARA GASPS)
What the heck is that?
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
You again?
Total pro.
Tiffany?
Tad?
Sara.
What are you doing here?
I couldn't leave you on your own.
Sara, I'm...
RACKHAM: Stop it!
Let's move on. We're almost there.
- (SQUAWKS)
- (BARKS)
(GASPS)
Apollo.
What about the altar?
Where's the piece?
Midas built this temple
to do the last offering to Apollo.
There is only one place
to find the piece.
You. Bring me the piece.
- Absolutely not.
- (GRUNTS)
Okay, okay. I'm going.
Hey, you. Don't be so rude.
Whoa.
(TAD GROANING)
Tad?
(IN DEEP VOICE) I'm not Tad!
I'm Midas!
I possessed Tad's body,
and I'm not going to give you
the collar!
(SHOUTS)
(COUGHING)
Oh, that hurts.
What the heck are you saying?
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
I honestly had no idea,
I had to try something.
(SPOOKY YELL)
Oh, he really has no shame.
Now put it on me.
Thank you, loser.
Okay, you have what you wanted.
Now, let them go.
There's a problem, darling.
I never let the losing team win.
What? We had a deal!
You get the power and I get the fame.
And you don't hurt them.
Can you believe these kids?
They are so naive!
(LAUGHING) You know?
That odd ball is right.
- (GUN COCKS)
- Okay, nobody move.
Oh!
Just give me the collar
and let us all go, and...
- (GRUNTS)
- No!
RACKHAM: You don't get it.
Now, I have the power of Midas!
Uh-oh!
(RACKHAM GRUNTS)
- Run!
- (GASPS)
- (HENCHMAN GASPS)
- Oh, hello.
- (GRUNTING)
- (GUN CLICKING)
(KISSES) I love this thing.
- (GASPS)
- (GROWLS)
Gosh. I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die.
You are already dead! Run!
(ALL PANTING)
Whoa!
- (TAD BREATHES HEAVILY)
- We have to stop him.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah... I'm on it.
Are you all right?
Yeah, I just need a minute.
Hello! This guy's on fire!
Let me borrow this.
Let's all split up and surround him.
There you are.
Go!
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
(GASPS)
- (MUMMY SCREAMING)
- Where are you going?
(GASPS)
(SCREAMING)
Thank you.
(GRUNTS)
(GROANING)
I'm sorry, I didn't...
Total pro.
(GRUNTS)
Don't forget me!
I'm getting tired of you!
- (GRUNTS)
- Sara! No.
(GRUNTS)
What did you accomplish?
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GROANS)
Say goodbye to her.
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
We did it, Sara. It's over.
Tad. (GROANS)
Sara?
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
This can't be happening.
Not to you. No!
Oh, no. This is not good.
- There has to be a way to stop it.
- Tad.
The sacrifice.
Midas got his daughter back.
The collar, I have to destroy it!
(GRUNTING)
No!
This is all my fault.
I should have destroyed that piece.
- Tad...
- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Don't be, Tad.
It's been the most amazing adventure.
- All these days with you.
- Sara, no.
- I wouldn't trade that for the world.
- Please, don't go.
- Tad.
- Sara.
I... (BREATHES HEAVILY)
I love...
No. No.
(RUMBLING)
No. No.
Tad! Tad!
We got to leave now!
Tad, come on!
Just go. I'm gonna stay.
All I ever wanted was to be with you.
I love you.
(RUMBLING CONTINUES)
Oh...
What...
Huh?
- Hi.
- Sara?
Oh, Tad was willing to die for her.
A sacrifice for love.
Sara.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(HUMMING)
- Hey, guys. Burger?
- Thank you.
Hey, fellas. Thanks for coming.
Oh, great party, Tad.
Where's your girlfriend, huh?
Don't you know? She's out there
- making big discoveries.
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
No, seriously, she's about to come.
Oh, sure, sure...
No, come on.
She'll be here right now.
Hey, how are you doing.
How is my tiger? (GROWLS)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
SARA: Tad?
CO-WORKERS: Huh?
- Hi, Sara.
- Hi, sweetie.
Hey, check this out.
(BOTH GROAN)
No more party for them.
So, what are you going to do now?
I'll go back to Paititi.
This will pay my way back in.
Oh, they're going to go crazy for it.
They love gold there.
I'm gonna miss you so much.
I don't wanna cry, I don't wanna cry...
Oh, I still have no fluids, I can't cry.
DRIVER: I don't want to see you cry.
I waited for you at the Alhambra,
and you didn't show up.
You? How did you...
Your little friend has guided me to you.
- (SQUEAKING)
- Ratty!
Oh, I'm happier
than a cockroach in a latrine!
How I like to see you smile,
my palomita.
Uh, I'm starting to be worried
about the meaning of "palomita."
Ah, who cares?
Let's start a real party! Whoo!
Oh! She drives me crazy. Ah!
You're going to miss him, too.
He's probably the most
annoying, irritating,
badly-dressed sidekick ever.
But you're right, I am gonna miss him.
I know this isn't the same,
but maybe this will cheer you up.
- (STAMMERING) Are you serious?
- Hmm.
Yeah!
(SINGING)
Uh, sorry. You know, it's something I do
when I get, uh...
You still want to be my girlfriend?
Come on! Let's dance, everybody!
- (UPBEAT SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING)
- One, two, three!
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
(THUNDER CRASHING)
We're gonna get dragged!
We've gotta get out of here!
Just five minutes more!
(WHISPERING VOICES)
(VOICES STOP)
(BEEPING)
Over there!
I found it. I finally found it.
Okay, let's get out of here!
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
ANTIQUE DEALER: See?
Told you she'd be here, sir.
I kept my part of the agreement.
RACKHAM: Well, a deal is a deal.
Oh, wow! You are really generous,
Mister Rackham, sir. (CHUCKLES)
Enjoy it.
What... What are you...
Hey, what are you doing, fellows?
Let go of me!
No, no, no!
(YAWNING)
Back to business.
Herodotus was considered
the father of History. Cool.
Super cookie.
Wow, this guy was the bomb.
Hey, you're really
hitting those books hard.
Tell me about it. First year
of archaeology is super demanding.
I don't get what you find
so interesting about this old stuff.
Oh, now I get it.
- Now that is something worth studying.
- She's hot.
Hey, don't talk like that about Sara.
Don't start again.
Nobody buys that you know her.
Actually, we even kissed.
Okay, just once.
Oh, here we go.
Then we barely saw each other
after that.
You know, she's been going away
on long expeditions,
and I've been studying and working.
We kind of left things in the air.
Oh, sure. You kissed this girl?
But even long distance,
I feel her here, close to my heart.
- I can sense the trembling.
- (MOBILE VIBRATING)
I can really sense the trembling.
(GASPS) It's Sara!
Yeah. And I just got a call
from Scarlett Johansson.
- Hey, watch it!
- TAD: Sorry.
Tad, you should try
living in reality for a change.
(STAMMERING) Sara?
Tad. I hope I'm not interrupting.
Not at all.
(ALL IMITATE KISSING)
Hey, I saw you on the cover
of National Petrographic.
(CHUCKLES) I know, right?
Did you get the invitation
to the exhibition?
Yeah! I can't wait to be there!
Wonderful. I can't wait to see you.
Me, too.
SARA: The exhibition opens
at the Luxorious Hotel, in Las Vegas.
- Need directions?
- Let me find a pen.
Whoa!
(GASPS)
- Where are you going?
- What? Nowhere, I'm still here.
No, no, I didn't mean you.
- (GRUNTS)
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- My bad!
- Tad, do you want me to hang up?
Stop right there!
Okay, so I won't hang up.
No, wait!
SARA: Are you okay?
Yeah. So, Luxorious Hotel?
Yes. First, take the I-290 west
for 30 miles...
I-290 west for 30 miles!
- And turn the second left.
- Right, keep left.
And then go straight.
You'll get to a pyramid shaped hotel.
You can't miss it.
Big pyramid-shaped hotel.
I got it.
No, I didn't.
What? Did you get it or not?
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
(SCREAMING)
- Bye, Sara!
- Whoa!
- (CLANGS)
- Tad?
(WAILS)
(SCREAMING)
(SIGHS IN RELIEF) That was close.
Oops! Sorry.
Is everything okay in there, boss?
Stones!
You're...
TAD: Oh, my lucky cologne.
Smell that.
My Indy hat,
my fancy tuxedo, and my bow tie.
Two shirts, suspenders,
new underwear...
I think that's all.
Do you think she'll like it, Jeff?
(BARKING)
Jeff!
Ready, Jeff? Let's go see Sara.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Sir, are you all...
- Water!
- (SCREAMS)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(SCREAMS)
Water! Water!
You?
Need water!
It's you!
I haven't had a drink in 20 days.
No, no, no, stop! Oh! That's... Oh!
- (MUMMY BELCHES)
- (TAD RETCHING)
Oh, you can't imagine
the trip I had to find you.
Oh, it's so good to see you!
It's not possible!
What are you doing here?
Oh, it's a long story,
I'd better not tell you.
(LAUGHS) But I will. You see,
when you left my lost city,
I was judged for letting you go.
The Mummy Court exiled me!
TAD: They kicked you out?
MUMMY: Yeah, all because of you!
Well, and a bad deal with my lawyer.
But that's another story.
The thing is,
I had to say goodbye to my home tomb
and then travel further
than I ever had before.
I got lost in the desert
following these strange lines.
I didn't know what to do.
And then, I remembered you.
My one and only human friend!
Friend?
Oh, you're right.
- We're more like brothers.
- (JEFF BITING)
Uh, can you please control
this little monster?
Jeff, down, boy!
Uh, well, sorry, but I was just leaving.
(GASPS) But I just got here!
I'm going to Vegas to see Sara.
Sara? Oh, my Sara?
Oh, I miss her so much.
What are we waiting for?
Oh, no, no, no. You are not coming.
- Yes.
- No.
- Yes.
- No.
MUMMY: Yes!
Whoo-hoo! I'm the king of the world!
Hey! Get back here, you deserter!
Could you please sit down
and stop drawing attention to yourself?
What is with you?
Listen, you're a mummy.
You scare people.
In my world, you're a zombie.
Zombie.
Sounds good! I like that name.
Excellent. Now please be quiet.
Okay, okay, I'm sorry. You got it.
I won't move a muscle. Look!
(GROANS)
Oh, what's this?
(GASPS) Oh, my... It's a necklace!
- It's for me, right?
- Hey! That is not for you!
MUMMY: I think it looks great
with my eyes.
(TYRES SCREECHING)
It's not for you!
Oh! It's for Sara.
Yes, it's for Sara.
(GASPS) I knew it.
Come on, tell me everything.
I'm a relationship expert.
Five hundred years of experience.
I know everything about women.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREO)
Hey!
(SCREAMING)
See? Total heartbreaker.
(CAR CRASHING)
Okay.
I'm going to ask her
to be my girlfriend.
Huh.
I'm not sure how to tell you this, Tad,
but, uh, she seems a little
out of your league.
You know, like you're punching
above your weight.
Like she's a 10 and you're a two.
She's hot, you're not. (LAUGHS)
She's too good for you.
TAD: Thank you for being so encouraging.
What are friends for?
MUMMY: Friends? Brothers!
Awesome!
What is "awesome"?
Uh, well, people say it
when they really like something...
Something super impressive.
Oh, I get it.
Like the Machu Picchu,
like the Pyramids of Lima Culture,
like Lake Titicaca.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all that.
So, now you stay in the car.
Don't move a muscle, you hear me?
(TAD GROANS)
(JEFF BARKS)
Wow, look at that, Jeff.
WOMAN: Mr. Stones?
Hi, I'm Tiffany Maze,
Professor Lavrof's assistant.
- Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
- (JEFF BARKS)
Oh, what a cute little dog.
Who's a good boy?
Wanna shake?
Uh, sorry, he's just not
very connected to this world.
Mrs. Lavrof told me to take care of you.
I'm gonna do my thesis
on her latest discoveries.
Oh, wow! You're majoring
in archaeology, too?
Boston University. I'm a sophomore.
Chicago. But I'm just a freshman.
(TAD SIGHS)
But compared to Sara...
She is amazing.
I'm learning so much from her.
It's incredible where she is now.
The most important
archaeologist nowadays.
I'd give anything to be like her.
Come on. Sara's waiting for you.
(JEFF BARKING)
The bust there,
and the suits of armour there.
Oh, careful.
Hey! Belzoni! How are you doing,
my little bird man?
(JEFF BARKING)
(SQUAWKING)
(LAUGHS) They're good friends.
Tad. You're here.
Sara.
(IN SLOW MOTION) Sara!
I'm so happy to see you.
Come on, let me show you the exhibit.
You're gonna love it.
Awesome!
- (HORN HONKS)
- (GASPS)
Oh, awesome!
Awesome! Awesome! Awesome!
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) A little less conversation,
a little more action...
Awesome!
All this aggravation
ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite
and a little less bark
A little less fight
and a little more spark.
Close your mouth
and open up your heart...
Eh?
Hello!
(SCREAMS)
Ooh, ooh!
Awesome!
Oh, man!
King Midas' papyrus!
Can you read the inscription?
"Made in China"?
(GIGGLES) The papyrus, not the stand.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, the... Sorry, my bad.
Um...
Looks like hieroglyphic writing.
Exactly.
This is what I've been working on
all this time,
Midas' magic collar.
It's made up of three pieces.
One of them seems to be in what
is called the Red Temple of Baal.
I found these hieroglyphics that point
to the exact location of the temple.
If the collar really exists...
So does Midas' golden touch!
The power to turn
everything you touch into gold.
Tad, I've been so busy that... (SIGHS)
Sara... Um...
I have something to ask you.
Go on.
Would you be my... (STAMMERING)
Be my...
Mummy?
Be your mummy?
- Sara!
- You?
Get over here. Give me a hug.
I told you to wait in the car!
What are you doing here?
Oh, I better not tell you. (CHUCKLES)
But I will.
You see, when you left my lost city...
Oh, yeah, that's great.
I will tell her later.
TIFFANY: Miss Lavrof?
The script for tonight.
Hey, what's with Elvis?
He's an old friend.
- Right, Mummy?
- Hi!
You call him Mummy?
- Yeah, he doesn't preserve very well.
- Hey!
Please, excuse me.
I still have so much to do.
Oh, right. Don't worry.
Come on!
Bye! Bye, Sara!
What's with the getup?
I see why you love her so much.
You're definitely
punching above your weight.
Let's go.
(GRUNTS)
(WHOOPING)
(SINGING) A little less constipation...
Okay, King, see you later.
Yeah! Let's go to the party!
No, no, no, no. You'll stay here.
What?
You're gonna leave me alone again?
Just until Sara's presentation ends.
I don't want any trouble, right?
Okay, fine, I'll stay here
if you promise me something.
And that is?
That you take
your vicious canine with you.
Come here, Jeff. Come here!
(JEFF GROWLS)
And don't leave the room, okay?
(DOOR CLOSES)
- (STRUMS GUITAR)
- (BONES CRACKING)
Not awesome.
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
Hi, there. Uh, nice to meet...
Hey, how are you?
Nice to meet you...
Hello! My name is Tad.
Am I speaking the wrong language?
Hey, Belzoni, good to see you!
Waiter? What do you mean?
Not a chance. This is my best suit.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, whoa...
Oh! Oh...
Oh!
I'll take care of that, sir.
Keep an eye on that one.
(GUESTS APPLAUDING)
(CHUCKLES)
An ancient relic has revealed
the real story of King Midas.
It's a papyrus called
"A Sacrifice for Love."
It shows him as an all-powerful king
who defeated all his enemies for Apollo.
Grateful, Apollo bestowed
upon King Midas
a collar with three golden pieces.
The collar would bring the wearer
the power to turn
anything he touched into gold.
Midas amassed piles and piles of gold.
Everything he laid his hands on
would turn into the precious metal.
But this golden touch
soon became a curse.
His daughter reached out to hug him
and she too was turned into gold.
Devastated, Midas returned to Apollo
and begged for mercy.
Apollo told Midas
to get rid of his collar,
offering each of its three pieces
to a god
in different temples around the world.
Midas followed Apollo's orders,
and by giving up an immense power,
brought his daughter back to life.
Or in other words,
he made a sacrifice for love.
- (GUESTS APPLAUDING)
- Wow! (WHISTLES)
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm delighted to present to you
my most important discovery,
the definitive proof
that thousands of years ago
King Midas and his collar
- actually existed.
- Huh?
A gift?
The Midas Papyrus.
(BEEPING)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Now, this is a party.
- (GRUNTS)
- (GROANS)
We've got it, boss.
- Go, Belzoni!
- Get him!
- (GUESTS SCREAMING)
- Uh-oh!
(GRUNTS)
(BARKING)
(MEN PANTING)
(JEFF CONTINUES BARKING)
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- You?
- Hey, thanks.
- (MEN SHOUTING)
- (BOTH SCREAMING)
- (MEN GRUNTING)
- I got it!
No, I got it! Ahh!
Huh?
Tad!
(GASPS)
BOTH: Whoa!
(CHUCKLES)
You come with me.
SARA: Get your hands off me!
Sara!
- Huh?
- (GRUNTING)
- Tad!
- Sara!
(YELPS)
Find me!
(SCREAMING)
Sara...
SARA: Wake up, Tad.
Find me.
Tad, come back to me.
Tad.
Wake up, Tad.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
Wait. Where's Sara? They took her!
It's a kidnapping!
Like Pizarro and Atahualpa!
Like Corts and Montezuma!
Actually like Corts...
Tad, are you all right?
Yeah. This is built to last.
Oh, wait a minute...
Sara's notebook.
She wanted me to have it.
I bet those goons took Sara so
she could lead them to Midas' collar.
Then we're gonna have to find it first.
With this, we can be one step
ahead of them and rescue Sara.
Look at this.
The Red Temple of Baal.
Sara believed this was Midas'
first stop on his pilgrimage.
The key to its location
is in these hieroglyphics,
but I can't decipher them.
Mmm. Let me see. I'll see if I can find
something about Tartessus' language.
Great. We should also look
for its dialects.
Good thinking.
Wow!
There's no reference
of those ancient languages any more.
- Total dead end.
- (SIGHS) There has to be a way.
(READING IN ANCIENT LANGUAGE)
"There you should find Baal."
What did you just say?
(SPEAKING ANCIENT LANGUAGE)
No, no, no, the other stuff.
Oh! (SPEAKS ANCIENT LANGUAGE)
How can you read that?
Well, dead tongues are my specialty.
Check it out.
See? Totally dead. (LAUGHS)
Your friend is a bit weird.
(SIGHS) You have no idea.
Here it says,
"Four suns toward the dawn,
"by horse from Setefilla,
"there you should find Baal."
Ta-da!
"Setefilla..."
(CHIRPING SADLY)
Sorry, buddy.
Setefilla is what the Tartessians
called the city of Seville.
"Four suns toward the dawn."
A sun was a day in ancient times.
By horse...
120 miles.
120 miles towards the dawn.
To the east!
The Red Temple of Baal is in Granada!
That's it, Tad.
There's the Alhambra.
The Moorish palace also known
as "The Red One."
That's where they're taking Sara!
(CHIRPS EXCITEDLY)
Get ready, guys.
We're going to Spain.
- Spain!
- Yes.
- (MUMMY WHOOPING)
- Wait for us, Midas.
Hold on, Sara.
Tad Stones, on the case.
RACKHAM: For the last time,
how do I use this
to find Midas' collar?
I won't tell you a thing.
(GROANS)
Leave her. There are other ways
to make her cooperate.
Will it work, sir?
That truth serum might be out of date.
Well, there's only one way to find out.
What do you think of me?
(STAMMERING) Sir...
Come on, don't be shy.
- Well?
- No, I can't...
You... (GULPS)
You are an arrogant bully,
uncool and very cheap!
I'm sorry.
- (SNICKERING)
- Shut it!
And you're also a daddy's boy. Ah!
(GROWLS)
And your feet stink! (SCREAMING)
(TRAPDOOR CLOSES)
Your turn.
Where are the pieces of the collar?
(WEAKLY) I won't say a thing.
Don't hold back. You want to say it.
No...
My head... Midas...
That's it! Where are the pieces?
Everything is in my notebook.
Tad...
- Tad...
- (THUDS)
What just happened?
I believe you overdosed her, sir.
Idiots! Who's that Tad
she was mumbling about?
Sir, I think he is that guy
with the very big nose.
I want that notebook!
Find me that fool of a Tad!
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
ON HEADPHONES)
(SINGING) A little less conversation,
a little more action
Please
(SHOUTS) What?
Could you lower your voice
and stop drawing attention?
Someone's jealous of my manly voice.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
We need to find you a better disguise.
What are you talking about?
I look fabulous.
So this is the place we're going to?
(GASPS) Awesome, awesome...
Listen, this thing says
food is great in Spain.
- You're a real face-stuffer, right?
- Mmm.
MUMMY: Awesome, awesome...
Uh, Tad, what's an Antonio Banderas?
TIFFANY: I can't believe we're about
to find such a big discovery.
We can make history.
Yeah. It's not gonna be easy.
We have to decipher these notes
to find the Temple of Baal.
Taxi!
To the Alhambra, please.
Of course, mi amigo. Come on in.
Thanks.
Hang on. Where's Mummy?
He said he was going to find something
to make him fit in.
Fit in? How is he supposed to fit...
I don't believe it.
I don't believe it.
I can't believe everyone dresses
like this here. It's so strange!
- (BARKING)
- (SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
- (JEFF YELPS)
- (PANTING)
Ol, ol, ol!
That is the most beautiful
elegance I have ever seen.
Oh, such a nice guy!
Are you happy now?
I hope you don't keep on saying
that I draw attention. Hmm.
(CAMERA CLICKING)
(GROANS)
I'll take you to the end
of the world if you ask for it.
For now, just take us to the Alhambra.
Well, we can go there, too.
- (HORN BLARES)
- Oh!
(HORN PLAYING
LA CUCARACHA)
- (ENGINE STARTS)
- Oh! Here we go.
They have the notebook, sir.
What are the orders?
- Take it off the hands of that clown.
- Roger that.
Please, don't hurt Tad.
Oh, don't worry,
we won't cause him a lot of pain,
I guess.
Wealth? All this is for wealth?
(LAUGHING)
That's so cute.
No.
The power of Midas
goes way beyond wealth, my dear.
What is that?
Something I bought
from an antiques dealer.
Midas' power is the power of the gods.
The power to rule the world.
(EXHALES)
And it will be mine.
Ay, mi palomita.
It's hard to believe
you're from this world.
Technically, I'm not really
from this world. Long story.
- You'll see, when I was a...
- TAD: Stop it!
Uh, do you know those guys behind us?
TAD: Oh, no. We're in trouble, guys.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Are we in danger?
Don't worry, my palomita.
I swear nothing will happen to you
while I'm here.
(SCREAMING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
They're getting closer!
They want the notebook.
Ooh! What a nice souvenir!
It's not for you!
- Hey, what did you throw it away for?
- Come on, help me!
I get it, I get it, I get it!
There you go!
(LAUGHS) Yes!
- Hello.
- Oh, hi.
- Oh! Watch out!
- Whoa! Whoa!
Quick! Release the hood!
(GASPS)
(DINGS)
Oh!
- (WHINES)
- Jeff!
Oh, God! Oh, God!
We're not gonna get out of this!
(BOTH GROAN)
- (GASPS)
- Siesta time.
- Driver down! Driver down!
- (YELPS) Tad!
It's okay Tiff, I got this!
ALL: Whoa!
- Get out of the way!
- (HORN HONKING)
Incoming!
(BOTH SCREAM)
- What is this thing?
- (CAMERA CLICKS)
(TYRES SCREECHING)
(GROANING)
(GRUNTING)
(CONTINUES GROANING)
(GASPS)
- TAD: Watch out!
- What?
TAD: The bridge!
(YELPING)
TAD: Whoa!
(SCREAMING)
(TAD SCREAMING)
(YELPING)
MUMMY: Awesome!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(YELPS)
(TYRES SCREECHING)
Come on. Let's move
before they come back.
So this is the siesta thing
- he guidebook was talking about.
- (DRIVER SNORING)
So, somewhere around here Midas offered
the first piece of the collar.
Ah, look at this colour.
Look at this sun. Look at this light.
Oh, how I miss my muddy tombs.
(GROANING)
(YELPS)
(LAUGHING)
According to the legend,
Apollo taught Midas a great lesson.
What's that?
That your wealth is not as important as
the people you have close to you.
And what's more,
it's worth making a sacrifice for love.
Yeah, that's it.
I'm afraid we did not get
the notebook, sir.
You let that idiot escape?
He is a genius, sir.
High-level training. Total pro!
A genius? Really?
Total pro.
I don't care!
I want that notebook. Got it?
Yes, sir. The notebook, or my life.
Hang on a second. This looks familiar.
Tiff, look at this.
The drawing looks like that fountain!
Oh, there's an inscription here.
"Centuries after Midas entered
the temple of Baal,
"the sultans protected it
with 12 beasts."
Nine, 10, 11, 12.
Twelve lions. It has to be here.
There should be a lever of some sort.
(GRUNTING)
Oh. Uh...
(PANTING)
It would take a bulldozer
to move these things. Whoa!
Tad, it moved!
Hey, Tiff, look.
There's a mark on this lion.
This one has a mark too.
And it turns!
Great. Let's try to turn
all the heads with a mark.
(FLY BUZZING)
(TAD GRUNTING)
MUMMY: Oh, come on, Tad.
You're doing it wrong. It'd be better
to push it from the other side.
It would be better
if you gave me a hand.
Oh, that's funny. That's really funny.
Help me with this one, Tiff.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Come on, Tiff!
Nailed it! (LAUGHING)
(SINGING)
Oh. Sorry. That's something I do
when I, uh... (SINGS)
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
You really have
no self-respect, do you? (SCOFFS)
Maybe I can find my cousins there!
Belzoni, wait for us here.
And take care of Jeff.
(JEFF PANTING)
Careful, guys. It's slippery.
(GASPS) Mmm. Mmm. Tasty.
What's that noise?
(RATS SQUEAKING)
- (SCREAMS) Rats! I hate them! Rats!
- Tiff, Tiff. Relax.
Will you just stop screaming?
You'll scare them.
What's wrong with them anyway?
They're so cute.
Oh, I feel like I'm back home.
Yuck! Gross!
Guys, this is a labyrinth. It'll take
forever to find the way to the temple.
Hold on a second. I'll ask.
Ask? Who?
Who do you think? Him.
(SQUEAKS)
- (SQUEAKING IN MORSE CODE)
- Do you know where is
Baal's temple?
Sorry. I think I didn't say it right.
My rat-morse isn't the best.
Are you nuts?
Do you really expect that a rat...
- (SQUEAKING IN MORSE CODE)
- Do you know where is Baal's temple?
Where is Baal's temple?
The temple.
T-E-M-P-L-E. Temple!
(SQUEAKS)
Got it. Let's go.
Oh, heels...
We're going to follow a rat. Seriously?
(SNORING)
(LAUGHING)
HENCHMAN: Hi, birdie.
You!
Lead us to your owner,
or we will kill your feathered friend!
(JEFF SNORING)
- (RAT SQUEAKING)
- (MUMMY PANTING)
This way!
(LAUGHING) That's a good one.
This guy is hilarious.
(SQUEAKING)
Okay, okay, I got it.
Thanks, my little friend. See you!
Great. Now what?
He says we have to enter there.
- Are you kidding?
- The rat has spoken.
Come on, guys.
We didn't get to this point for nothing.
You and your rat!
(MOCKS)
Mmm.
The guidebook was right.
Spanish food is awesome.
The coast is clear. Come on.
(TIFFANY GRUNTING)
Whoever said
archaeology isn't glamorous?
Oh, that wasn't so bad.
- (RUMBLING)
- Uh-oh.
(ALL SCREAMING)
Huh?
Baal!
We made it.
I told you! The rat was right!
The rat was right! (LAUGHS)
Hey, look.
TIFFANY: A golden trail.
TAD: Midas was here.
(TIFFANY GASPS)
Midas' collar piece.
Uh, guys,
let's get out of here, okay?
This place is creepy even for
my standards.
- (RUMBLES)
- (GASPS)
No, no, no, no, no!
Oh, let's pray to the Pachamama.
Oh, Goddess of Earth, please,
help us at this time of...
Oh, I guess she isn't listening.
Maybe she was listening.
(ALL SCREAMING)
The room is a trap!
(PANTING)
- We've got to get out of here!
- Hold on!
The water has to drain out somewhere.
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(MUMBLING)
(MUMBLING)
- (GASPING)
- Tad! I can't hold on much longer!
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(MUMBLING)
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
I found a way out. Help me!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(BOTH GROAN)
I'm fine, by the way.
- Not that anyone asked.
- (RAT SQUEAKING)
Oh, I'm sorry, little guy.
We'll find you another sewer.
(EXHALES)
(GASPS)
We did it.
(LAUGHS) Tad, we did it!
- We did it! My gosh!
- We did it! Yeah!
RACKHAM: Congratulations
to the happy couple.
Tiffany?
- Tad?
- Sara!
Stop right there!
- You release her!
- (GUNS COCKING)
You know, as soon as possible.
Give me the piece or I'll end her.
Tad, don't do it.
I'm sorry. I have no choice.
Please.
And the notebook, please.
Give me the notebook,
or you won't see her again.
You're despicable.
Yes. It's all here.
Let's go!
TIFFANY: You have no right!
We didn't do all that work
just to have you steal the piece.
That's what happens
when you play against Jack Rackham.
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
(GRUNTS)
Useless mutt!
Sara!
I thought I lost you.
Oh, I wish I had bodily fluids
so I could cry at reunions.
- Belzoni.
- (CHIRPS)
- (JEFF BARKS)
- Hey, buddy. Glad to see you.
Jeff, what happened to you?
We need to move fast before Rackham
finds the other pieces of the collar.
I wouldn't worry about that.
Tad, what are you talking about?
He wanted the notebook,
but never said anything of
it being complete.
Oh, well done, Tad!
Yeah? Well, no, I think...
So, where do we go?
To Cappadocia, in Turkey.
There are hundreds of temples there.
Rackham won't be able to find
the right one without these pages.
That would give us a head start.
So let's go, guys!
Let's go to Turkey.
- (HORNS HONKING)
- (TYRES SCREECHING)
Here we are.
Thanks. How much is it?
This fare, I do it for free,
my palomita.
Oh, thank you.
What is this "palomita"
he keeps talking about?
(GIGGLES)
My gift to you.
It embodies the heart, soul
and the belly of our people.
I'll be waiting for you
under the lights of the Alhambra.
And you know it.
(HORN PLAYING LA CUCARACHA)
Spaniards are crazy.
- Okay.
- (SHIP HORN BLARING)
That Captain will try to find us
a spot on his ship.
Great.
Check this, Tad.
This is the area
where we should find the next piece.
Temple of Ariniddu.
Baal's wife. Goddess of the light.
Cool! So what about the third temple?
I don't know much about it.
The only clue
is this symbol that appears
in everything related to Midas.
It seems to be
some sort of personal mark.
Wow, you rock, Sara.
Uh...
Tad...
- Yes, Sara?
- Uh...
I wanted you to know that
after all this time
we've been apart, I...
(CAPTAIN WHISTLES)
Come on, are we leaving or what?
I'm dying here.
Again.
Oh, sorry, I, uh...
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Okay. Thank you. Thanks a lot.
Hey, guys, I got us a trip.
(SHIP HORN BLARES)
Tad, you're the best.
By the mummy Juanita's teeth,
that is a floating metropolis.
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
Not that one.
That one.
Forget metropolis.
That's not even a tiny little village.
- Hey, Tiff.
- Hi.
Can I ask you something?
Go for it.
Oh! That's so sweet.
So do you think Sara will like it?
Oh. Sara.
TAD: Yeah. I don't know
if it's good enough for her.
(RETCHING)
(VOMITING)
- (BREATHING HEAVILY)
- Is everything okay?
(GROANS) Perfect.
It's just that I'm a feet-on-the-ground
type of guy, you know.
A feet-under-the-ground type, actually.
Oh, my... Ooh.
You don't look much better than I do.
All that's happened got me thinking.
Yeah. Come on, cheer up,
everything'll be fine.
I've been so focused on my work,
I feel I've left people out of my life.
(SIGHS) One thing's for sure.
Talking won't solve anything, darling.
You've got to take the initiative.
Less conversation, more action.
That's actually good advice.
Oh, well, I got to confess
it isn't mine.
That's what the guy in Vegas
was singing about.
It took me a while to learn the lyrics.
Well, can you try it on me?
Just to see how it looks.
Oh. Yeah, good idea.
I think you're right. I should
stop talking and start taking action.
There you go. That's my Sara.
Thanks. You've been very helpful.
Enjoy the advice. It's for free.
I'll keep on evacuating the paella.
Oh, here it comes.
(VOMITING)
Okay. More action.
Get right to the point.
(CHIRPING)
It looks great on you.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Thank you.
Unbelievable.
They haggle over everything here.
Oh, this is amazing!
We're about to find the
second piece of the collar.
Water?
Don't be so excited.
Rackham could be around.
Take your stuff.
We can't lose any time.
Okay, let's go.
MUMMY: "Okay, let's go."
This can't be happening.
Let me see...
"This can't be happening."
Are you serious?
What are you doing?
Well, you're always complaining
about my human disguises
so, from now on,
I'm going to be exactly like you,
Mr. Perfect Human.
Check this out.
(SINGING)
I'm Tad Jones, I can't dance...
It's official.
Your friend is a total freak.
Come on. Mummy Bones on the case.
That is...
I am not at all like that!
And what are you doing
with a paella dish?
It's my present. I love it.
I'm taking it everywhere.
I would never wear
that thing on my back.
Okay, fine. Let's see
what the little monster thinks.
Hi, critter. I'm Tad. Super Cookie!
No, Jeff. I'm Tad. Come here.
MUMMY: Don't pay attention
to that impostor.
- Take this one. Here.
- I'm the real Tad.
- Look what I got!
- TIFFANY: Shh!
I want three teams.
Spread out and keep your eyes open.
- There are dozens of temples around.
- Yes, sir.
(PANTING)
(JEFF BITES)
- (JEFF SNARLING)
- (SCREAMING)
(SCREAM ECHOES)
(MUFFLED GROANING)
Report back here in three hours.
Okay, this is the place.
Whoa. What a view.
- Isn't it beautiful, Sara?
- Huh?
Sure.
Yeah, well...
SARA: It's getting dark.
We should all split up
to locate the temple.
- Great. I'll go with...
- Oh, oh!
With me. Me and Tad. Brothers for life.
Let's see who finds the temple first.
Boys versus girls.
Let's go, Tiffany.
Oh, thank goodness I stepped in.
What's going on here?
I was trying
to spend some time with Sara.
Haven't you noticed
something different about her?
Well, she has been acting
kind of distant.
Of course! How would she not?
You're not being the knight
in shining armour she needs.
The what?
But fear not.
We'll make Sara melt for your bones.
They don't call me the Great
Conquistador of Peru for nothing.
You just need some practice.
I can't believe it.
If we find the second piece,
we'll be just one step away from Midas.
Tiffany, there are
too many signs telling
Midas' power is not something
to mess with.
Are you saying we shouldn't
search for the collar?
I'm just saying that maybe
the collar shouldn't see the daylight.
(IN FEMALE VOICE) Hi, gorgeous.
Mummy, this isn't going to work.
Mummy? Who's Mummy? I'm Sara Lavrof.
No, no, no, no. I can't do this.
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Come on.
Do you love Sara or not?
With all my heart.
But then aren't you willing
to do whatever it takes?
(SIGHS)
Sara, I...
(IN FEMALE VOICE) Yes?
- I know you have a lot on your mind.
- Yes?
And you almost have no time
to think about the present,
which is where I am.
Mmm.
(SIGHS)
But what I truly want is to live
in the same age as you,
no matter which one, you know,
past, present or future.
I want to be your partner
in the big adventure of life.
Hey! Whoa! What are you doing?
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Oh, sorry.
But that was just so beautiful.
You have to tell Sara all that stuff.
She's gonna love it. Any woman
will fall in love with you now.
- (TAD GRUNTS)
- MUMMY: Tad!
HENCHWOMAN: There are no symbols
from the notebook here either.
It's impossible.
We've looked at over 20 temples.
We'd better find the right one
before total pro Tad does.
You? A total pro?
If it doesn't work out with Sara,
you've got Crazy Eyes down there.
Shh! Look at that. This is the temple.
Let's get back to Rackham.
Maybe the others had more luck.
Stay here with Jeff.
Holler if you see
those guys coming back.
(JEFF SNARLING)
Great.
(GASPS)
Whew! That was scary.
(GASPS)
(YELPING)
(PANTING)
(YELPS)
Tad. We've been looking for you.
The second piece!
I got it, Sara. I got it.
And not just that.
Look.
SARA: That mountain.
Midas' symbol!
Midas didn't make the last offering
in an existing temple.
He built one for Apollo.
The third piece has got to be there!
Yes. We have to hurry
and get it before Rackham.
Or we can destroy this one.
Destroy it?
The biggest discovery in history?
You can't be serious.
Tiffany, we can't let Rackham
get the power of Midas.
But, Sara, we're so close.
Tad, let's end this now.
No, Tad. Don't give it to her.
It's crazy.
Sara, isn't it better
that we get all the pieces?
The power of the gods does not belong
in the hands of mortals.
If Rackham gets the necklace,
he'll be invincible.
- Wait. Where's Tiffany?
- (CAR ENGINE STARTS)
I can't believe it!
Sara, I'm sorry...
I have to find the third piece
and destroy it before Rackham gets it.
Sara, wait for me!
No, Tad, I just need to be alone.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
RACKHAM: You fools! You mean to tell me
that between all of you
and after all these days of searching
you've found nothing?
This is useless!
That meathead in the hat has played me!
I wanna be on the winning team.
Hmm.
(SNARLING)
Oh, finally, you're here!
Where have you been?
Hey, are we going back with Sara?
She's gone.
And Tiffany?
She's gone too.
It's official.
You're a total disaster with women.
- How could I be such an idiot?
- Well, do you want my opinion?
All I had to do was give her the piece.
We'd have destroyed it
and that's it, end of story.
(TAD SIGHS)
You know, in 500 years
I have seen all kinds of love disasters,
and yours is one of the worst.
Please, don't start again.
Seriously, I never saw anyone
fail so many times.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay, I get it. I get it.
But I also never saw anyone
cross the whole world for love.
Now, you must complete your training.
- I'm not sure if I'm ready.
- Of course you are.
You have worked so hard
to get the woman you love.
Now, she needs you more than ever.
You're right.
I've never thought I'd say this,
but you're right.
I have to help her.
That's my brother.
Come on, tiger. Tiger.
Here I come, Sara.
Tad Stones, on the case.
(SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING)
(GRUNTING)
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)
(GASPS)
TAD: Come on, one more step.
I can't go any further, Tad.
I can't feel my legs!
(GASPS) My legs!
(GASPS) Oh, no!
(PANTING)
Sara.
Over there!
Rackham. We have to hurry.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Now you want me to climb down?
This is a violation of human rights.
First, you're not human.
And second,
there's no time to climb down.
Hey, that's my present.
What are you doing?
Using it.
You don't know
what you're doing, Tiffany.
All right. Jeff, come here.
Come on. Get over here.
This thing can have so many functions!
Carefully, we don't want to...
- (MUMMY WHOOPING)
- (TAD SCREAMING)
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
- MUMMY: Hey!
- Huh?
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(SARA GASPS)
What the heck is that?
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
You again?
Total pro.
Tiffany?
Tad?
Sara.
What are you doing here?
I couldn't leave you on your own.
Sara, I'm...
RACKHAM: Stop it!
Let's move on. We're almost there.
- (SQUAWKS)
- (BARKS)
(GASPS)
Apollo.
What about the altar?
Where's the piece?
Midas built this temple
to do the last offering to Apollo.
There is only one place
to find the piece.
You. Bring me the piece.
- Absolutely not.
- (GRUNTS)
Okay, okay. I'm going.
Hey, you. Don't be so rude.
Whoa.
(TAD GROANING)
Tad?
(IN DEEP VOICE) I'm not Tad!
I'm Midas!
I possessed Tad's body,
and I'm not going to give you
the collar!
(SHOUTS)
(COUGHING)
Oh, that hurts.
What the heck are you saying?
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
I honestly had no idea,
I had to try something.
(SPOOKY YELL)
Oh, he really has no shame.
Now put it on me.
Thank you, loser.
Okay, you have what you wanted.
Now, let them go.
There's a problem, darling.
I never let the losing team win.
What? We had a deal!
You get the power and I get the fame.
And you don't hurt them.
Can you believe these kids?
They are so naive!
(LAUGHING) You know?
That odd ball is right.
- (GUN COCKS)
- Okay, nobody move.
Oh!
Just give me the collar
and let us all go, and...
- (GRUNTS)
- No!
RACKHAM: You don't get it.
Now, I have the power of Midas!
Uh-oh!
(RACKHAM GRUNTS)
- Run!
- (GASPS)
- (HENCHMAN GASPS)
- Oh, hello.
- (GRUNTING)
- (GUN CLICKING)
(KISSES) I love this thing.
- (GASPS)
- (GROWLS)
Gosh. I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die.
You are already dead! Run!
(ALL PANTING)
Whoa!
- (TAD BREATHES HEAVILY)
- We have to stop him.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah... I'm on it.
Are you all right?
Yeah, I just need a minute.
Hello! This guy's on fire!
Let me borrow this.
Let's all split up and surround him.
There you are.
Go!
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
(GASPS)
- (MUMMY SCREAMING)
- Where are you going?
(GASPS)
(SCREAMING)
Thank you.
(GRUNTS)
(GROANING)
I'm sorry, I didn't...
Total pro.
(GRUNTS)
Don't forget me!
I'm getting tired of you!
- (GRUNTS)
- Sara! No.
(GRUNTS)
What did you accomplish?
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GROANS)
Say goodbye to her.
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
We did it, Sara. It's over.
Tad. (GROANS)
Sara?
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
This can't be happening.
Not to you. No!
Oh, no. This is not good.
- There has to be a way to stop it.
- Tad.
The sacrifice.
Midas got his daughter back.
The collar, I have to destroy it!
(GRUNTING)
No!
This is all my fault.
I should have destroyed that piece.
- Tad...
- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Don't be, Tad.
It's been the most amazing adventure.
- All these days with you.
- Sara, no.
- I wouldn't trade that for the world.
- Please, don't go.
- Tad.
- Sara.
I... (BREATHES HEAVILY)
I love...
No. No.
(RUMBLING)
No. No.
Tad! Tad!
We got to leave now!
Tad, come on!
Just go. I'm gonna stay.
All I ever wanted was to be with you.
I love you.
(RUMBLING CONTINUES)
Oh...
What...
Huh?
- Hi.
- Sara?
Oh, Tad was willing to die for her.
A sacrifice for love.
Sara.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(HUMMING)
- Hey, guys. Burger?
- Thank you.
Hey, fellas. Thanks for coming.
Oh, great party, Tad.
Where's your girlfriend, huh?
Don't you know? She's out there
- making big discoveries.
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
No, seriously, she's about to come.
Oh, sure, sure...
No, come on.
She'll be here right now.
Hey, how are you doing.
How is my tiger? (GROWLS)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
SARA: Tad?
CO-WORKERS: Huh?
- Hi, Sara.
- Hi, sweetie.
Hey, check this out.
(BOTH GROAN)
No more party for them.
So, what are you going to do now?
I'll go back to Paititi.
This will pay my way back in.
Oh, they're going to go crazy for it.
They love gold there.
I'm gonna miss you so much.
I don't wanna cry, I don't wanna cry...
Oh, I still have no fluids, I can't cry.
DRIVER: I don't want to see you cry.
I waited for you at the Alhambra,
and you didn't show up.
You? How did you...
Your little friend has guided me to you.
- (SQUEAKING)
- Ratty!
Oh, I'm happier
than a cockroach in a latrine!
How I like to see you smile,
my palomita.
Uh, I'm starting to be worried
about the meaning of "palomita."
Ah, who cares?
Let's start a real party! Whoo!
Oh! She drives me crazy. Ah!
You're going to miss him, too.
He's probably the most
annoying, irritating,
badly-dressed sidekick ever.
But you're right, I am gonna miss him.
I know this isn't the same,
but maybe this will cheer you up.
- (STAMMERING) Are you serious?
- Hmm.
Yeah!
(SINGING)
Uh, sorry. You know, it's something I do
when I get, uh...
You still want to be my girlfriend?
Come on! Let's dance, everybody!
- (UPBEAT SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING)
- One, two, three!
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)