Take the Money and Run (1969) Movie Script

On December 1, 1935,
Mrs. Williams Starkwell,
a wife of a New Jersey handyman
gives birth to her first
and only child.
It is a boy,
and they name it Virgil.
He is an exceptionally cute baby,
with a sweet disposition.
Before he is 25 years old,
he will be wanted
by police in six states,
for assault, armed robbery,
and illegal possession of a wart.
Growing up
in a slum neighborhood...
where the crime rate is amongst
the highest in the nation is not easy.
Particularly for Virgil, who is a small
and frail compared to the other children.
Virgil Starkwell attends this school,
where he scores well on an IQ test,
although his behavior
disturbs the teachers.
We interviewed Mrs. Dorthy Lowry,
a school teacher who remembers Virgil.
I remember one time,
he stole a fountain pen.
I didn't want to embarrass him.
So, you know teachers
have a way of doing things.
And so I said to the class.
We will all close our eyes,
and will the one who took the pen,
please return it.
Well, while our eyes were closed,
he returned the pen.
But he took the opportunity
of feeling all the girls!
Can I say feel?
Spending most of his time
on the streets,
Virgil takes to crime at an early age.
He is an immediate failure.
Barely manages to escape with
a gumball machine stuck on his hand.
With both parents working
to make ends meet,
Virgil becomes closest
to his grandfather.
A 60-year-old German immigrant
who takes the boy to movies
and baseball games.
Then tragedy strikes.
At a Washington Senator's game,
Virgil's grandfather is struck
in the head by a foul ball.
The blow causes permanent injury
to his mind.
And he becomes convinced
he is Kyzer Willhelm.
Here are rare photos of him with other
patients on the sanitarium grounds.
When he is 15 years old, amidst
the violence and poverty of the slums,
Virgil receives a cello as a gift.
He is fascinated by the instrument.
And for the first time in the
Starkwell house, music is heard.
We spoke to Mr. Torgman,
his first and only cello teacher.
Well, there isn't really much tell,
uh... because his cello playing
is just terrible.
He would a... He had no idea
about tone production.
He would just saw it
back and forth.
Just scratch the instrument,
to such a point
that it would drive everyone who
listening to it an absolutely insane.
He had no conception
of the instrument.
He was blowing into it.
He loved his cello.
And I think he stole to pay
for his lessons.
But he would not apply
himself one iota.
Virgil steals to pay for
cello lessons.
And although he does not achieve
greatness on the instrument,
he is soon good enough
to play in a local band.
A jungle however is no place
for a cellist.
And Virgil soon learns
the facts of life.
At 18, Virgil is lonely and confused.
Unable to concentrate in school,
he has long since dropped out.
He wants nothing more than to belong,
if only to a street gang.
It is here he thinks
he will prove his manhood.
Under constant economic pressure,
Virgil turns to the local pool hall
as a means of making a living.
I'm going to be a pool hustler,
he tells his friends.
Ball please.
Virgil tries to join the navy,
but is psychologically unfit.
That looks to me like two elephants
making love to a man's glee club.
Mr. T. S. Foster, Virgil's first probation
officer remembers him vividly.
He was a trustworthy kind of person.
I mean, you had to remember
certain idiosyncrasies that he had.
Like what?
Well, uh... like not always
telling the truth.
He didn't always tell the truth.
Sometimes, uh,
he'd exaggerate at the truth.
Sometimes, he, uh... you know,
just plain lies.
He does have a criminal record.
Yes, but that doesn't mean
the boy was all bad.
Unable to fit in with any aspect
of his environment,
Virgil strikes out on his own.
In an effort to shed some light
on this period of his life,
we spoke with his father and mother.
They are ashamed of their son's
criminal record and so wear disguises.
He was a good boy.
Oh, come on.
If he was a good boy,
why are we wearing these?
He's rotten!
He's a gangster, that's what he is.
Oh! How can you say that!
He was so bright.
- And he loved music.
- And he was an atheist.
I tried to beat God into him.
But he was too tough.
He was trying to get away
from us and be independent
and make his own life
and be a human being on his own.
You are a very dominating person.
- What?!
- You are!
And he was trying to find himself.
Ok, look, I'll talk to you later
about the whole thing.
Vowing he will never serve
his full term.
Virgil plans an elaborate escape using
a bar of soap and some shoe polish.
Guard, guard!
You've got to take me
to the infirmary!
- What's the matter?
- Don't ask!
Virgil's attempt to escape
is dealt with harshly.
His sentence is extended
in an additional two years.
1956 is a happy, go-lucky year
for most people.
Virgil sees none of it
from his tiny cell.
He marks time by reading.
Until one day,
a new opportunity arises.
We need volunteers
for an experiment.
The doctors want someone
to be inoculated with a new vaccine.
It has never been tried on
humans before,
so we do not know what
the side effects may be.
To be honest,
you'll be taking a chance.
As a reward, there's a parole.
I'm sure there are some among you
brave enough to take the risk.
With parole as inducement,
Virgil submits to the vaccine test.
It is a success,
except for one temporary side effect.
For several hours,
he is turned into a rabbi.
And so the reason we celebrate the
Passover holidays is by eating Matzo,
is to commemorate
the time that Moses
led the children of Israel from Egypt.
He has so many good points.
Yeah, yeah... name.
He had all sorts of
mechanical abilities.
He was artistic.
You remember the painting
he did for you on your birthday?
He's a no good atheist,
that's what he is.
I tried to teach him about God.
Would he listen? No!
Virgil leaves prison apprehensive.
But with some hope that
he can began a new life.
Instead he finds the world
difficult to cope with.
Ashamed to go home, he rents
a cheap room in a strange city.
Desperate and broke, Virgil tries
to support himself with small crimes.
Here he attempts to rob
a local pet shop.
I hope you haven't been watching me,
I'm not very good.
Uh, I was strolling down here
just now and noticed that
you were drawing something
and I'd a...
- You can look at it, if you want.
- Can I?
Though it's not very good.
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
I think that's... that's wonderful.
- I uh... uh...
- It's not very good.
Well, I think that's very good, actually.
I think you can probably make cash.
- Are you an artist?
- No, of course not. I'm not an artist.
No? Well, what do you do?
- I'm a laundress.
- Laundress?
- Laundry?
- Yeah. I wash clothes, in Maryland.
That's great!
No it isn't. I like it,
but it's not particularly interesting.
- What's your name?
- Louise. What's yours?
Virgil. Starkwell, Virgil Starkwell.
- What do you do?
- What I do? What I do?
Um... I play the cello.
- Oh! That's fantastic.
- I'm a cellist.
- It's a wonderful job.
- Are you with the Philharmonic?
- Yes I am actually.
- Oh, that's fantastic!
Yes, I'm looking for my group.
Quite a good group, yeah.
I dress like this 'cuz I'm just walking.
- Do you kind of want to go for a walk?
- O.K.
I, uh... I knew I was in love,
but... first of all I was nauseous.
You know, I've never met
such a pretty girl.
I guess I'm sensitive.
Because, you know real beauty
makes me want to gag.
Plus, I don't know how to act with girls.
I'm nervous, shy with woman.
I have a tendency to dribble.
Uh, you know the only girl I've ever
known was a girl in my neighborhood.
But she wasn't an attractive girl.
I used to make obscene
phone calls to her collect.
She'd accept charges all the time,
but nothing ever happened.
But here I'm lying through my teeth
and I can't tell Louise
that I was in jail and I rob and steal
and never did an honest day's work
in my life.
You know a lot of people hold
those things against you.
But she was so sweet.
We just walked in the park.
I was so touched by her. I don't know,
after 15 minutes I wanted to marry her.
After half an hour, I completely gave up
the idea of snatching her purse.
I wanted to actually tell her
I wasn't with the Philharmonic,
but she was so impressed by it.
When she asked me
some questions about Mozart,
she got suspicious because
for a minute I couldn't place the name.
I, uh, I don't know...
when it comes to woman.
In prison I remember this psychologist
asked by if I had a girl, I said no.
Then he asked me,
do I think sex is dirty.
And he said it is,
if you were doing it right.
All I know is my heart
was really pounding
and I felt a funny tingling all over.
I don't know, I was either in love
or I had small pox.
- Hey, you want to have dinner tonight?
- Sure!
You're very beautiful.
I really mean that.
- Is it embarrassing, when I say that?
- Uh huh, it does.
That's a pretty hat.
Thank you.
- Yeah, I see it all over town.
- Really?
I haven't seen it around town.
Yeah, they have it on sale.
I passed them, while I was walking
around the streets.
I passed a million of them
in one of those bins.
That's alright.
I can watch to eat for nice.
After dinner, we went for a walk.
I uh, asked her for a lock of
her hair you know.
And we didn't have any scissors so
I tried pulling it out.
And she was a good sport
I tell you know.
I'm telling you when she gets
excited she stuttered.
She was so cute that way.
I like a girl who stutters.
They turn red, always gasping
for breathe you know it's sweet.
And she, um,
she was an expert on laundry.
She was fantastic.
I offered her to let her do my shorts
and she was very moved
by that I think.
She just knows everything
about underwear.
I never saw anyone who knew
so much about socks and T-shirts.
She was some kind of
genius that way.
G... g... good night Virgil.
Continuing his deception,
Virgil sees Louise more frequently.
When she questions him about his
cello playing, he avoids the subject.
In order to better understand Louise,
let us examine her background briefly.
Adopted at age two, from a cruel
and impoverished orphanage
by a cruel military man and his wife,
she was subjected to an upbringing
of extreme discipline.
Which left her shy and withdrawn.
Never having a real home,
she lived on army bases
while her father pursued
a brilliant military career.
But after 30 years the cadet
his rank to corporal.
Her mother, an alcoholic turns
to religion for comfort
and quickly becomes a fanatic.
She responds to Louise's need for love
by beating the child
and claims to have
conversations with God
in which they discuss salvation
and interior decorating.
Destitute and in love Virgil attempts
to change his life with one bold stroke.
And if you just take this to
window number 9.
Thank you.
What does this say?
Uh, can't you read that?
I can't read this. What is this?
"Abt natural"?
No it just reads, "Please put $50
thousand into this bag. Act natural."
Does it say, "Act natural"?
I, uh, am pointing a gut at you.
That looks like "gub",
it doesn't look like "gun".
No, it's "gub". That's a B.
No you see, it's an N... G-U-N.
George, would you step over here
a moment please.
What does this say?
"Please put $50 thousand
into this bag and... abt"
- What's "abt"?
- "Act"
Does this look like "gub" or "gun"?
"Gun". You see.
But what's "abt", mean?
It's "act"...A- C-T, act.
Please put $50 thousand
into this bag. Act natural.
- Oh, I see, this is a hold up.
- Yes.
May I see your gun?
Well, you'll have to have this note
initialized by one of our vice-presidents
before I can give you any money.
I'm in a rush.
- What?!
- You see I'm in a rush.
I'm sorry, but that's our policy.
The gentleman in the gray suit.
That's gun... l'm pointing...
That's "gub"...
I'm pointing a gun at you.
That's B.
- No, it's N.
- Miss Frank!
"I'm pointing a gun at you.
Abt natural".
- What is "abt"?
- No, it's "act".
No, it couldn't be. It's a plain B.
No, no, I'm afraid not.
That's "act naturally.
I'm pointing a gun at you."
Mr. Miller!
"I'm pointing a gub"
No, that's gun, G-U-N.
It's "I'm pointing a gun at you."
It looks like a B, but it's a N.
Hello, Louise?
Listen, I can't make our date today.
I've got to go to Boston
and give a concert.
Well, look, why don't I give you
a call in about a...
In about 10 years.
Virgil Starkwell is apprehended
in the act of bank robbery.
He is given 10 years in the State's
strictest maximum-security prison.
It is here that he mingles with
harden criminals for the first time.
The prison has not been built that
can hold me, Virgil tells another inmate.
I'll get out of this one,
if it means spending my entire life here.
After all, what a child becomes...
Let's face it, it's our fault.
Would you let a man say
a word or two...
I knew there would be a day
when I said this kid is rotten.
You know the expression, a rotten kid?
That's what this kid is.
- It has to do with the genes.
- What?!? Genes??
Don't talk fancy in front of the man.
Because you know, you might
make an impression and you know...
The time passes slowly for Virgil.
He works hard and tries
to adjust to prison life.
He becomes a model prisoner
and is put to work in the laundry.
Visitor Starkwell.
For me?
I'm not with the Philharmonic.
I know.
I'm sorry.
It's O.K. Virgil. You don't mind
I came to see you, do you?
No, I'm more than happy to see you.
But how did you find out I was here?
I called your landlady.
She told me where you were.
She said that...
Virgil, did you rob a bank?
I did not rob a bank. If I robbed a bank,
everything would be great.
Well, what did you do?
I tried to rob a bank,
I think is what happened.
And uh, they got me.
I misspelled a note.
Can you bake?
I need a cake, a big cake.
A chocolate cake.
Virgil, you're allergic to chocolate.
I need a cake with a gun in it.
I'll bake you a cake
and put a gun in it.
I need a dozen chocolate chip cookies
with bullets in each of them.
How long are you going to be here?
Oh, well, uh,
I estimate a neighborhood of...
What's today, Monday?
Tuesday... Wednesday... 10 years.
Is it possible you can wait for me?
Yes, if you want me to.
With Louise to inspire him,
Virgil works hard
and becomes more optimistic.
She comes frequently
for the next few months.
He complains about the food,
and she brings home-cooked meals.
Louise's impact on Virgil is discussed
here by Dr. Julius Epstein,
a one time prisoner psychiatrist,
who recalls Virgil.
Louise meant a great deal to Virgil
from a psychiatric point of view.
His love for her was
the healthiest thing in his life.
It was genuine and clean.
Not like some patients I know.
She ain't gonna wait Virgil.
They think they can,
but they never do.
You know I become eligible
for parole in a year and a half.
Yeah, well that's nice.
With any luck, maybe two or three
years you'll get out of here, yeah.
Could be a lot shorter.
What do you mean?
Means we got this proposition
we want to talk over with you.
What kind of proposition?
Like next week five of us are
going to make it out of here.
Now we need another man.
It's all set. By next week,
we can be miles away from this zoo.
You guys gotta be kidding.
We'll never get out of here.
They'd kill us.
We've got out of rougher places
than this.
Why don't you just think
about it, alright?
Ain't no broad gonna wait around
for years for you.
No matter what she tells you
in prison and all.
Well, I think the conflict
in this personality,
uh, sorta started from
his formative years.
I think it gives evidence
in his choice of the cello.
For instance, studying the cello
at the age of six.
Is just coming out of
the formative years,
but the conflict is there in his choice.
Because it is generally assumed
the cello is a phallic symbol,
I mean with the grasp
and the lowest structural forms
certainly a feminine,
if anything motherly.
In fact, the utilization of the bow,
I would imagine is the sublimation
of the stroking the torso.
So between the grasping, the phallic
and the stroking of the torso,
would create,
I would imagine great conflict.
Even at the age of six.
Virgil Starkwell becomes part
of an escape plot.
His every move becomes
tense and strained.
Think our guard on our floor is with us.
So be ready just in case there's trouble.
I still don't understand how we are
going to get past the main tower.
We are going to dress as guards.
That's why Friday at noon
because you work in the laundry,
you're going to steal
the guards underwear.
We've already got some uniforms
stashed in the dark room.
I don't understand
If you got the guard's uniforms,
why do you need their underwear?
We want to do this
as realistically as possible.
I'm known for my detail work.
- Sir, we can't find our underwear!
- I think something's up.
Um, we'd better keep our eyes open.
The warden knows something.
We'd better call off the break.
I said, the warden knows
something is up. Call off the break.
- Everything is up for tonight.
- We can't take a chance.
Tell Charles.
Hey Charles, the warden knows
something is up.
We'll try again next week.
The warden wants to see you.
- What for?
- Come on!
Michael Sullivan, an ex-convict
and one of the leaders
of the ground break describes
the faithful day.
I told all the other guys,
that the break was off.
But I forgot to tell Virgil.
I don't know why I forgot.
Nobody ever told him.
There's a break in the north cell block.
Notify the warden immediately.
Hey where is everybody?
They called the break off!
- They called the break off?
- Yeah!
- Why didn't somebody tell me?
- Virgil tried to escape by himself!
Could somebody possible sneak
downstairs and let be back in?
Look I got your daughter!
Hold you fire men!
Let me go or she gets it!
What is she doing down there?
She was kissing Kowalsky.
- Is Kowalsky a midget?
- No!
He is not a midget.
- Can I have a taxi, please.
- Try someone lines next.
On July 11, Virgil and Louise marry.
It is a simple ceremony
following what he later describes
as a deeply moving blood test.
This was the happiest
moment of my life.
I just wish my parents
could have been there.
We weren't aware...
Am I right!! Be honest!! Say it!!
He turned out to be a punk.
They took up residence
in another State.
And living on
Louise's small savings,
they moved into
a cheaply furnished flat.
They are poor, but for the moment
at least they were save from the law.
When these innocent pictures
were taken,
they were both unaware of the series
of events that were to come.
What's the matter Virgil?
- I got a cramp in the arch of my...
- What?
I got another hardball
in the arch of my foot.
How come that always happens
when we try to make love?
Oh Jesus!
As a wanted criminal, Virgil finds
it harder than ever to find employment.
He secures a little work selling
encyclopedias door to door.
But the job proves too much for him.
He is forced to take into the streets
and for a while he earns
a meager living selling meagres.
We're going to have a baby!
Get out of here!
No, no, we're going to have a baby.
I went to the doctor and
we are going to have a baby.
That's my present for Christmas.
All I needed was a tie.
- Aren't you happy?
- I don't believe it.
- No, Virgil, really.
- But how did it happen?
What do you mean,
how did it happen?
You mean because we, at night,
when the two of us...
and that's what happened?
Then that spring Virgil and Louise
are blessed with a son.
They name the baby Jonathan Ralph
Starkwell, after Virgil's mother.
Virgil and Louise move to a new State
and try to start over.
Virgil has the usual trouble
finding work.
Finally he hears of an opening
in an insurance office
and is back against the wall.
He attempts to lie his way into the job.
Please sit down.
Name please.
John Q. Public. P-U-B-L-l-C.
Mr. Public, have you any experience
working in an office before?
Yes, I have.
What kind of office was it?
Have you any experience
in running a high-speed
digital electronic computer?
Yes, I have.
My aunt has one.
And what does your aunt do?
I can't recall.
You said before you
worked in an office.
Did you deal in products or services?
Is this something found in the home?
No, it's not. One down and nine to go.
Is this product edible?
No, it wasn't.
I think our time is running out
and I'm sorry you haven't guessed
my occupation.
So I'm going to flip all the cards
and tell you what I have used to do.
I used to manufacture
escalator shoes,
for people who were nauseous.
I'm sorry, you didn't actually
get my occupation,
but you did win $10
and I want to thank you very much.
Better luck next time.
You are good sport.
Hiding his past from
his fellow employees,
Virgil does well on his first decent job,
in the mailroom.
His past catches up with him however,
as a fellow employee learns
of his criminal record.
What are you doing for dinner,
Mr. Public?
Oh, Miss Blair, I'm having dinner
with my wife. Why?
Where are you having dinner,
Mr. Public?
No, I said I'm having dinner
with my wife.
I found this picture in a magazine.
A word from me and you're
back in prison, O.K.?
What do you feel like eating?
Virgil Starkwell becomes the victim
of a blackmail plot.
Miss Blair confident of her power
makes small demands for money.
These increase as time goes on.
Everything that he owns dear
to him is in jeopardy.
His life and family hang on the whim
of an unstable woman.
He is driven to desperation.
With the responsibility of a wife
and child to protect,
Virgil Starkwell contemplates murder.
What would u like to drink?
Oh, what do you have?
How about some Sherry,
I have some very fine Sherry?
What's the matter?
Did you hurt your hand?
I'll be right here.
Disguising two sticks
of dynamite as candles,
he sends Miss Blair
an anonymous gift.
The plot fails however,
as he manages to make the dynamite
too think to fit into the candlesticks.
Determined to rid himself
of the blackmailer,
he rents a car and attempts
to run her over.
You know, I think somebody's
trying to kill me.
Oh! Don't be silly.
When I came home
from work last night,
there was a car in my living room
trying to run me over.
- A car? It must be your imagination.
- No.
- Who would try to kill you?
- I don't know. I have no enemy.
- You didn't tell anybody did you?
- No.
You can do the carving.
Can't you wait?
I mean you eat like an animal.
It's delicious, really.
I'll get the salad dressing,
we'll make a toast,
then you start on the turkey leg.
What are you doing in there?
Oh, just creating the proper
atmosphere dear.
I'm a sucker for atmosphere.
- Why don't you carve the turkey.
- Yes, of course my darling.
Someone sent these as a gift.
They were too big to use,
so I shaved them off at the bottom.
With law enforcement
agencies on his trail,
Virgil takes his family
and heads south.
Here they manage to secure
cheap lodging temporarily.
This is really a desperate time
of my life, you know.
I... we had no money.
I tried mugging old ladies but
I get hit in the groin with crutches.
I didn't know what to do.
I tried counterfeiting for a while.
You know, I just got the plates
fouled up and everything.
Once Lincoln came out
smoking a cigarette.
I robbed a butcher shop.
That was the best I could do.
I got away with 116 veal cutlets.
Then I had to go out and rob
a tremendous about of breading.
Their money gone and
with food scarce,
the Starkwells live
like hunted animals.
We weren't very happy then.
Oh no, this was the low point
of my existence.
I was thinking about
getting out of crime
altogether and maybe
becoming a singer or something.
Must have been a very tough
decision for you to make.
Oh, yeah. It was really tough,
but my family was starving
and I'd already filed
for bankruptcy, you know.
I see. What prompted you to go on?
Well, I came up with an idea
for robbery that was so fantastic.
It was so brilliant that when it was over
it was considered the real work of art,
by all the guys in my cellblock.
- They must of looked up to you.
- Well, you know those guys are mugs.
- I, uh, I'm gonna rob a bank.
- Oh no, Virgil, not again!
I think that's our only way out of this mess,
is for me to... There's a dinky bank
in Ross County.
And I think if I can get two
or three good men,
I can get in there and get it.
We can go down to Mexico
or up to Canada and...
- Virgil, what if you got killed?
- No, don't worry.
Nothing to worry about.
I know how to use a gub.
- No, it's gun, Virgil.
- Gun, I'm sorry.
Don't turn around.
I want to speak to you about
a business proposition.
It's a bank job.
Couple of guys and myself
are going to
get together and
four weeks from now...
quart of a million dollars.
We walk in and take it like that!
It's an easy job.
Think we just pull up and take it.
How long have you, uh... because
I said part about the bank... the bank.
You guys are dressing alike again.
See, I just broke it myself.
All the boys in the neighborhood
Wasn't his fault,
we just didn't have time for him.
We were working so hard.
Would you like to see
my stamp collection.
What do you mean stamp collection?
I have a stamp collection...
First, he selects an appropriate bank.
Next he cases the bank
by cleverly concealing a camera
in an unsuspected place.
That night, a meeting takes place.
Among the one's chosen
are some of the sinister names
in the underworld.
William Amerz, wanted by the police
for bank robbery,
assault with a deadly weapon,
murder, and getting naked
in front of his in-laws.
Frankie Wolf, wanted by Federal
authorities for dancing with a mailman,
A.D. Armstrong, wanted all over
the country for arson, robbery,
assault with an attempt to kill,
and marrying a horse.
Alright boys. Had to talk about
the Union Fidelity Bank.
June 16th, 10 a.m.
What you are about to see is a film
of the Union Fidelity Bank.
We are going to see it just once.
And to destroy the evidence
we are going to eat the film.
It will be buffet style,
you can just help yourselves.
Take plates of potato salad over there
and my wife made coffee.
This film might just save your lives.
The film was a boring short.
He'd have the gang over for a meeting
and I'd put out a little tray of
pretzels and bullets...
I had to, he's my husband.
We got this film camera,
we have lights, and a truck.
The idea is we pull up
in front of the bank
and we look like
we are making a movie.
We play the actors.
We need somebody to be the director.
Gertch! I got the perfect guy!
An ex-con I did some time with,
by the name of a Fritz.
I will be the director.
I once was a film director,
a many years ago,
before movies had sound.
I worked with Johnny Gilbert and
Antonio Valentino, Lois Garret.
Lois Garret was a baseball player.
I was also that ball...
For the Yankees...
The fools in Hollywood
didn't look up nice geniuses.
But now, I shall wear a new uniform,
like I did, once again.
And you will be my actor.
You shall enter in the back and say,
"Up with your hands, this is a stickup."
Thereby announcing our theme.
- Now say it. Let me hear the lines.
- Up with your hands, this is a stick up.
No! More feeling.
Begin now.
Uh, Fritz, this is a bank robbery
not a movie.
Oh, yes, of course.
Oh, forgive me.
I will be fine, when the time comes.
Thank you all.
Everybody, take five.
Ohhh, don't tell me you are going
to use the shower now.
Virgil, why do you do this to me
every morning?
I just got in here.
Well, I'm going to be late
for the robbery.
So you'll be five minutes late.
They can start without you.
They can't start without me,
I'm the leader.
- I made you some coffee.
- Oh! Jesus!
Oh, Jesus! Every day I have trouble
getting into the bathroom.
For crying out loud!
Honey, what shirt
do you wanna wear?
What did you say?
- I said, what shirt do you wanna wear?
- I'm gonna wear my light blue.
No you're not.
It was dirty, I washed it last night.
Why did you wash it?
I was gonna wear it today.
I washed it because it was dirty.
- So what, I'm just gonna rob a bank.
- I have happened to
have ironed your beige shirt.
Do you wanna wear that?
No, I can't wear a beige shirt
- to a bank robbery.
- Why not?
Because it's light.
I'll be an easy target.
I think it is a perfectly
good shirt to wear.
No, it isn't a good shirt, it's beige.
Who wears beige to a bank robbery?
What are the other guys wearing?
I don't know... For crying out loud.
Why don't you call them up
and ask them?
Oh, no body is going to be wearing
beige to a bank robbery.
It's in poor taste.
June 16, 9 a.m.
The days of planning are over.
Virgil and his accomplices depart
from his hideout and proceed
toward their destination.
Everybody put your hands up,
this is a stickup!
Hey, what are you doing here?
- We're holding up the bank.
- We are holding up the bank.
Oh no, I'm sorry,
we are holding up the bank.
We're holding up the bank.
Oh no, we were here first.
Look could you come back tomorrow,
we'll be finished by then.
We've been planning this for months.
We're not going to have
it ruined by a jackass.
Alright, we'll take a vote.
How many people here would
like to be held up by this group?
Now how many people would
like to be held up by our group?
Now, beat it!
You call this a bank robbery?
I yelled action, five minutes ago.
Is that the way to pick up all it?
What's going on in here?
There's a million cops outside.
Let's get out of here!
Each member of the gang gets
five years for his part in the crime.
Virgil gets ten.
He is not taken to prison
this time but to a road gang
where his criminal behavior
will cost him dearly.
You men come here
because you committed crimes
rendering you unfit
to live in decent society.
That's too bad.
I think you gonna find you made
a mistake you're gonna regret.
Our job of mine and the boys
is to see that you get some civilization
so that when you leave here
you're gonna think twice
before you perform anti-social acts.
And my advice to you is
obey the rules and do your job.
If you have complaints,
you come to me.
Don't think anybody outside
is gonna help you.
Now we don't like complainers
and we don't like troublemakers.
If things get a little too rough
for you in here,
you just feel free to take off for Florida.
Show 'em in which direction
Florida is, boys.
Any questions?
Do you think a girl should pet
on the first date?
I... I mean if both parties involved
are mature and liberal.
Gonna see Ms Eliza...
gonna go to Mississippi...
Hey, do you think you gotta
good enough aim for that hammer
to knock these bracelets off me?
Look man, I don't want to
get into any trouble.
Nothing is going to happen.
You think you can do it?
I've never missed yet.
Alright, go ahead.
Sorry man, first time.
Food on a chain gang is scarce
and not very nourishing.
The men get one hot meal a day.
A bowl of steam.
Alright boys, who didn't give me
a good days of work?
Come with us Wilson.
What's the matter Starkwell,
can't you take it?
Come on, I want you to see this, so
you can know what to look forward to.
Just what in the hell
do you think your doing?
What do you mean?
Don't beat the shit out
of your damn fool, beat him.
Oh, him!
The time drags by an endless
grind of backbreaking labor.
Brutal discipline is common
under the hot sun.
The men aren't even permitted
to faint without written permission.
Virgil complains and
he is severely tortured.
For several days he is locked
inside a sweatbox
with an insurance salesman.
Hi, I'm Joe Green, I represent Ajax
and Widget Insurance Company.
I'd like to talk to you about a little
insurance... You're about 30, right?
I think the best thing to do is get
straight life then a little term... and...
How about dental and medical?
We got a great deal on dental
and medical deal.
At the end of each work day,
the men are chained to each other
by the ankle, by a group of six.
Making movement slow and painful.
And escape almost impossible.
Then one day, the impossible
is attempted.
See that field?
If we make it across that field,
we'd be out of here.
We can take him by surprise
and we all make a sudden break for it.
You're crazy.
That's right, I'm a paranoid
schizophrenic but I say we try it.
Ain't that right boys?
I'm not with them, I wanted to stay.
Alright, everyone split up!
My car broke down,
can I use your telephone?
Of course, come in.
O.K. Now, we're going to
get out of here.
I know a guy in town, he's got enough
tools to get us out of these chains.
Alright, now you act natural and
answer it or you're finished.
Who is it?
Patrol man Lynch, can I come in?
Well, not now.
It's an emergency. I'm afraid I have to.
We'd better untie her.
Tell him we're your cousins.
We are visiting you from out of town.
Alright, one false move
and you're finished.
What is it?
I hear there's been some trouble,
up at the prison.
I'm checking area for
anything suspicious.
These are my cousins.
They're visiting me for the holiday.
What holiday?
Have you ever heard of
St. Dabbernappy's Day?
That's what we're here for.
Come here you.
Come here!
Do you think your cousin is
safe here living all alone?
Look how close we are to the prison.
Look out here, just a few miles
off down the road.
Come here!
I don't know... you sure can't be
secure if you live so close to a prison.
Hey, wait a minute!
Did I see something move out there
Couldn't have!
I'm sure I saw something move.
Quick! Everyone take one window
and check it.
If there's somebody out there,
we gotta have a chance to see him.
Guess it must have been
my imagination.
Excuse us.
- They're escaped convicts.
- Really?
They've broken in...
didn't you notice how they
all moved together closely?
They're chained together at the ankles.
I thought they were just a close family.
O.k. Boys, the games up.
The old lady must of told him.
You're going back to that prison.
And this time, you're
going to stay there.
If we're gonna go, we need tools.
Let's get my wife
she'll help us out of this.
Oh Virgil. If you'd only listen to me
you'd of gone straight.
Honey, we needed the money
and I robbed a bank.
Virgil, when are you going to
stop doing that?
Don't you realize you're a father?
You have responsibilities.
Well, if she's my wife,
I'd build her one.
Do you mind keeping
out of this please?!
I don't want to discuss
it unless we're alone.
Well, I want to discuss it now!
Alright, you don't want to
discuss it alone...
O.k. I'm going to the next room
and if you want to talk about it
right now!
I can't come in alone I'm chained.
We can't be alone unless
we go some place
where they have tools or something.
These guys are with me for good now.
How do you think I feel?
I'm a young woman sleeping
alone here every night.
Don't you think that mean
something to me?
How do you think I feel?
I look back to the days when
you were in the Philharmonic.
I was never in the Philharmonic.
- You used to lie in bed...
- Shut up!
You used to make love to me...
you used to recite poetry and...
- Poetry?
- And play with that doll you got me...
Darling look... you guys look away
for a minute...
Sweet heart, don't you know,
no matter what happens
you're going to mean the same to me.
You... would you stop giggling?
You'd always mean the sun
and the earth and the moon to me.
Oh Christ!
With Louise's help, the chains
are removed from Virgil's ankle.
Once more the family takes flight.
Feeling guilty about their son's
education, Louise tries tutoring him.
He's been very depressed.
I think... I think if he'd been
a successful criminal
he would of felt better.
You know he never made
the "Ten Most Wanted" list.
It's very unfair voting.
It's who you know.
Virgil Starkwell embarks
on a series of crimes
that make him a wanted desperado.
Here he attempts to rob
the vault of a bank.
But, finds a family of gypsies
are living there.
By the end of six months the FBI
regard Virgil as a menace.
Although he doesn't make
the "Ten Most Wanted" list,
he does win
"gangster of the year" award
and is asked to speak
at many luncheons and universities.
While the end of the story,
We spoke to Mr. Daniel Miller
an FBI agent and the author
of the book "Mother was a Red".
The FBI actually wanted
Virgil very badly.
Mr. Hoover was quite upset by
Mr. Starkwell and his activities.
In fact, he confided to me
on several occasions... uh...
I can remember one very well.
After a bowling match,
on a Thursday night,
he said he couldn't sleep nights
and was smoking a little too much.
And um, he thought that this,
uh... this criminal as he put it,
might very well be part of
a subversive plot.
Obviously, uh, an atheist
and uh, a pinto,
and a time general to
disturb our society.
We finally traced him to a cheap
neighborhood down
in the lower east side of New York.
Where he was living at the time
at a sleazy run down tenement house.
Virg, I remember him. I used to live
with him a matter of fact,
in the same rooming house that is.
One day he told me
he was a gynecologist.
He couldn't speak no foreign
languages... who is he kidding?
I thought I saw his picture
on the post office.
I don't remember if it was
on a wall or on a stamp.
- Do you remember Virgil?
- Oh, yeah.
What was he like?
Well, now I think he's brilliant.
I mean absolutely brilliant.
When I just found out that
he was a criminal,
I just couldn't believe it...
I just thought I was gonna die.
Because he's a he just did
the best cover up job
I have ever seen in my life.
I mean unbelievable acting job.
I actually believed he was an idiot.
I mean I really believed... and
I wasn't the only one... like
everybody thought so... everyone
just thought he was a shemeal
and it turns out that he's a criminal.
Just to think that... that idiot was
a criminal I just can't believe it.
I mean you never met anyone like this
...you'd never meet such a nothing.
I can't believe it, there was a mind
working in there.
That could rob banks.
It's phenomenal.
You know, once... once
I said to him what do you do
he said, uh, I rob banks.
Go no, right!
But we finally caught up to him.
Oh I think it was April 11
when we finally captured Virgil.
It sorta was a very odd circumstances,
uh, an amateur photography
happened to be there at the time.
And, um, took the only known films
of his capture.
I was coming down here. This is
the spot where it actually happened.
You see, as a matter of fact,
I just brought my pants
into the cleaners and
I was sorta angry with him.
Because last time I brought 'em
in I asked him to sew a button
on it and they hadn't.
Could you get to the point?
Oh yes, well... I'll tell you exactly
what happened this morning,
uh, with me... and about the camera.
Well, back to this thing with
which I became known,
mainly because of what had happened
and I happened to have the camera.
I was having breakfast in the morning.
I think it was two fried eggs, a toas
I don't know if it was orange juice
or grape fruit...
but I remember I had a juice...
I don't remember what it was.
But at that time...
- it was orange juice... that's right!
- Can you get to the point!
In fact, I got 'em right here.
I'd like to show them to you.
The very last films of Virgil Starkwell
being captured by the FBI.
Now get your hands up, it's a stickup!
Hey, I know you... Virgil Starkwell...
Oh, Eddie... Haynes?
That's right! We were
in the marching band together.
You played the cello...
you were always...
I was the trombone... first trombone.
That's funny, my God!
- What are you doing?
- I'm with the Philharmonic.
No kidding, that's grand! I was just
talking to someone... Oscar Sunken
about the great visory
we had together.
That was hilarious!
You remember when we got caught
taking a shower together?
I do... I never saw anything
so embarrassed.
I'll never forget your face.
- My face? You dropped the towel.
- You dropped the towel too!
- Can I have your watch?
- Sure, sure, sure.
Remember we painted the car,
uh, yellow?
Yeah, it was Halloween.
Yeah that's right, it was Halloween.
It was really funny.
- It was yellow stripes.
- That's right, like a popcorn.
Keep your hands up or
I'd have to shoot you.
You remember the football game?
- You fumbled the last play.
- And you picked up the ball.
And then I ran the wrong way,
and everyone was yelling
go back, go back.
And I thought they were cheering.
You can't beat the good old days.
There were good old nights...
Shirley Shivrotze.
Oh I didn't hear you.
Look it's been great speaking
to you, really.
It's been nice to see you too Virgil.
Yeah, take it easy.
Maybe we'll see each other someday.
Good luck to you!
Oh Virgil I just realized I'm a cop.
- Oh Virgil I just realized I'm a cop.
- No kidding, how's it going?
It's a great job.
I gotta pension and I...
Do you remember when...?
Virgil Starkwell is tried on 52
accounts of robbery
and is sentenced to 800 years
in federal prison.
At the trial, he tells
his lawyer confidently,
that with good behavior he can cut
the sentence in half.
Virgil, now that you are caught and
you are facing a very long prison,
sentence, do you have any regrets
choosing a life of crime?
I think that crime definitely
pays that uh,
it's a great job, the hours are good
and you're your own boss
and you travel a lot and you get
to meet interesting people.
I just think it's a good job in general.
What about your co-hosts,
what has ever happened to them?
All of the men, many of the guys
you associated with in various gangs.
A great many of them have
become a homosexuals
and some of them have entered
in politics and sports.
How do you manage to spend
your time in prison...
do you have any hobbies?
I do, I've been working on...
I've been doing a lot of stuff
in shop lately.
I'm very skilled with my hands.
Do you know if it's raining out?