Targets (1968) Movie Script

( screeching )
( thunder crashing )
Baron, you mustn't--
( gasps )
( bird screeching )
( bird screeching )
( intercom buzzing )
( indistinct talking )
Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.
Who the hell is he?
He doesn't mean five cents
at the box office.
Besides, I got
Byron Orlok.
Yeah, yep.
Anyone for a swim?
So he won an Oscar.
Who the hell
remembers it
besides him?
For that money
I could get Sandra Dee.
Huh? I discussed
it with Sam.
Well, he feels that Pat Boone's
wrong for the part.
You want to see those
dailies now, Mr. Smith?
In a minute.
Have him stand by, Ralph.
You were late.
Somebody kept me up
till 4:00 in the morning.
Oh? Anyone I know?
How did you like it?
I liked it.
You did?
I didn't.
But thanks.
Okay, okay, good-bye.
You smoke too much.
Tell them to send
that pic right out.
Byron, you see our ad
in the trades?
Ralph, send that print
back to the exchange, would you?
This picture's
going to open up
In a hundred
theaters tomorrow.
Great film, eh, Jenny?
It's all right.
Gonna clean up.
Is this the new script?
Has everybody read this?
This is a work of art.
Thank you
very much.
I'm serious.
This is a very
important film.
This is
the kind of property
I'm going to be proud
to put my name on.
You writing
this down, ed?
It's a good script, Sam.
Don't you think so, Byron?
I'm not making any more films,
What, Byron?
I'm retiring.
Since when?
What is this, a gag, Sam?
Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
I put up front money
on this script.
Monday I sign a deal with AIP.
It's all based
on the understanding
That I got Byron Orlok.
I never signed any agreement
to that effect.
You never
signed anything
On the last
three pictures we made.
We shook hands.
Now, come on, what is it?
Is something troubling you?
I understand you didn't like
this last film we made.
Not at all.
I think Sammy directed it
very well.
That's why I let him write
this new script.
Haven't you read it?
This is a real new change
of pace for you.
Okay, everybody out.
Let me talk to Byron alone.
Please, Marshall, no scenes.
You owe me a minute, eh?
Come on, Sam.
Let me
fix this up.
Byron, old pal,
what's wrong?
This isn't like you.
What the hell
was that all about?
I Don't know.
He didn't like my script,
that's what it was all about.
Oh, stop being
such a paranoid.
What do you mean,
I sent him
my script yesterday
And today he retires
from pictures.
What am I supposed
to think?
I'm sure he hasn't
even read it.
I'm just afraid
it's much more serious.
What about your job?
He hasn't said a thing.
What if he goes
back to England?
He's always talking
about that.
Would you
go with him?
Would you like me
to stay?
That's up to you.
Don't feed me that!
I kept you alive
for the last three years!
He can fix anything.
You think you're bankable
with any of the majors?!
You think they'd know
how to put together
A package for you?
If it weren't for me,
The only place
you'd be playing
is in the wax museum!
Call me.
( crash )
There's goes
another ash tray.
Herr Michaels!
Your turn.
Okay, run those dailies now.
You want me to fix up
the mess you just made?
Get him back, boy director.
Go and talk to him, like you're
supposed to be so good,
'cause your next picture
just walked out the door!
That's why I will.
14, take five.
All right, and action.
You didn't
say good-bye.
Stop it, Sammy.
Don't be his errand boy.
It nauseates me.
I didn't come out
here because...
I know you came
out to save your
own little opus.
Well, that's true.
Because without you,
there's no picture.
Rubbish. Anybody can
walk through the special
effects for you.
It's not that kind
of picture.
And there's nobody
else for it.
The part is you.
Sammy, you're
a sweet boy.
I'm not trying to be.
But you can't
possibly understand
What it feels
like to be me.
I'm an antique,
out of date.
All right, what are you
going to do?
Plant roses?
Actors Don't retire.
Six months and you'll
blow your brains out, Byron.
I'm an anachronism.
What does that mean?
Sammy, look around you.
The world belongs
to the young.
Make way for them.
Let them have it.
( hammer clicks )
I'll take it.
I've always wanted
a gun like this.
It's a beauty.
Yeah, it sure is.
Hey, you see?
That's Byron Orlok
over there.
Oh, yeah,
yeah, that's him.
You see a lot of movie
stars on the strip.
I thought
he looked familiar.
Okay, now, you want
the case, too?
Oh, yeah,
might as well.
Sure, why not?
It's only money.
Will you take a check?
Yeah, sure.
You've been in
before, Haven't you?
Sure. So's my dad,
lot of times.
Besides, you have
an honest face.
You want me to toss
in some ammunition?
Yeah, a couple extra
clips, if you could.
Okay, I can stamp
that for you.
That's okay.
How much altogether?
Comes to $249.60.
Thanks a lot.
Here, Don't forget
your receipt.
Oh, thanks.
See you.
And then I'll tell
the hotel what time
we're checking out.
What a nice boy Sammy is.
He's the only one I feel
sorry about in all this.
He thought maybe you
didn't like his script.
Doesn't he know
I Haven't read it?
I told him that.
I couldn't tell
him why, though.
Oh, come now, Jenny.
I'm too old
for playacting.
It's no fun anymore.
How about a drink?
All right.
I think we should
celebrate my freedom.
( rockabilly playing )
( radio tuning static )
Hey, baby, it's the real
Don Steele show.
I got to get the devil
out of here.
I'm going to be out there
Elbow-to-elbow, with the rest
of you thrill seekers.
Here I come ready or not.
And who's going
to sock it to us?
We're going to hock it and lock
it out there, right?
On 93 KAJ Boss radio.
And you know what happens
when delicious Don goes hog wild
On your receiver, right?
Thrill seekers of mine,
are you ready?
Thanks very much for saying what
have you, hey,
Dave Garroway, Johnny Ray,
Anita O'Day, Curtis Lemay
Sirhan may, x-Ray, el Rey
and a one-horse open sleigh.
Dennis Day, Marvin Gaye,
George day, Sammy Kaye,
Swinging with the car
in the next Lane,
If you love me,
you have to love my suit.
Can you dig it?
Here he comes.
Get ready to take
a trip along the strip with him.
I'm hip, can you dig it?
You better believe it! Bye!
( deejay chattering )
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go!
little Johnny probably
wants to shoot...
( dog barking )
...Just a moment
when we continue our news.
This week on
the Saturday night movie,
James Stewart, Lee Remick
and Ben Gazzara star
In Otto Preminger's
compelling production
Of anatomy of a murder.
You're guilty of murder--
premeditated and with vengeance.
That's first-degree murder
in any court of law.
Here, I'll do that, dear.
The unwritten law's
a myth, lieutenant.
There is no such thing
as the unwritten law.
Anyone who commits a murder on
the theory that it does exist...
Goodness, I feel so tired.
That bazaar's going to be
the death of me.
Younger woman:
Oh, why Don't you sit down--
I'll take care of this.
Suspenseful viewing.
Saturday night at 11:15
on channel 7.
I'd like to know where
that husband of yours is.
He's been late
every night recently.
That job is...
( crash )
Younger woman:
Oh, darn!
It's all right.
No harm done.
Younger woman:
Oh, here, let me get it.
She has not spoken, and she
carried no identification.
Her head is covered
with bandages,
But doctors
at county general say
Her hair is light brown,
cut short.
She was treated for severe
scalp lacerations.
Doctors think she
might be suffering
From some mental disorder
that would account
For this apparent stupor
and muscular rigidity.
Her clothing has been taken to
the sheriff's lab in the hopes
That it could help
establish her identity.
Turn the TV down, Will you?
I thought I heard the car.
Hello, girls.
I thought I heard you.
Mmmm! Smells good.
Did you remember
to call the Irwins, dear?
Of course I did.
Dinner ready?
I'm starving.
But Don't you want
to wait for Bobby?
What do you mean?
Isn't he home?
His car's here.
Younger woman:
It is? Bobby, you out there?
Go wash your hands, daddy.
We can eat right away.
That's the best news
I've heard all day.
Hello, sir.
Hi, son.
How's it going?
Okay. Hi, mom.
Hello, dear.
Come on, sit right down.
Hi, Bobby.
Hi, honey.
Where have
you been?
Just washing my hands.
Oh, well, we were
worried about you.
You certainly
came in quietly.
We didn't hear
the car or anything.
Have you been
home long?
Just got in.
Ah, that looks good.
I didn't have time
for lunch today.
Where were you?
Oh, Robert.
Well, before...
( TV plays quietly )
We thank you for the food
we're about to receive,
In the lord's name, amen.
Working you hard,
Bobby, boy?
Not too bad, sir.
They certainly are
working him hard.
Pass Bobby the
rolls, Ilene.
Oh, did you order
those tables
For the bazaar,
Didn't I say I would,
What took
you so long?
Give me your plate, Ilene.
What do you mean?
That bazaar is
all I hear about.
Well, you
were so late.
I'm sorry.
Oh, the boss made me stay late.
Give me your
plate, Bobby.
Got to give you
some potatoes.
Had to file some things.
Hey, guess who I saw
coming home?
Byron Orlok.
Did he scare you?
Yeah. No.
I was driving
toward the freeway,
And I saw him standing
on the sidewalk talking.
Well, to the future.
I'll drink to that.
Just get me a drink.
Oh, my God,
I forgot all about you.
How could you forget
about me?
Have a seat, ed.
We had a date, 6:00.
I forgot to tell you.
What's the
problem, ed?
No problem at all.
I just wanted
to go over the arrangements
For tomorrow night.
What's tomorrow
That personal appearance.
At the drive-in.
Yup, now everything's
been taken care of.
We got one of the big l.A.
Disc jockeys
To introduce you, Kip Larkin,
And I think you should meet
with him
Tomorrow afternoon at 3:00,
if it's all right with you.
I'm not making that appearance,
I'm not making
That appearance.
What do you mean, Byron?
It's all set.
It's all been taken care of,
the ads, everything.
Now what am I going to do?
Would you please
bring me a phone?
Yes, sir.
I Don't want
to get upset.
I'm not going to get upset.
Thank you very much.
What are you trying to do,
get me fired?
Byron, you know, you do
Have an obligation here.
I have no more obligations,
and it's quite relaxing.
Uh, we got a little problem
I'm with Byron,
and, uh, he says
He's not going
to do that pa tomorrow night.
He wants to talk to you.
He just went to the John.
( whispers ):
He knows you're here.
( whispers ):
I am here.
He says to tell you,
this has nothing to do
With any difference
between you two.
There's a lot of innocent people
affected here.
Tell him I can't quite see him
in the role of public defender.
He's not buying it, Marshall.
If he's so
In the welfare of the people,
Tell him to stop
making pictures.
He doesn't care
about the people.
My interpreter.
Why Don't you talk
to him, Byron?
I'm in the middle here.
Don't call him back, ed.
Why torture yourself?
That's my job.
I get paid to be a masochist.
He's going to sue you, you know.
And he'll win.
I've got a little money.
Did you know
I graduated from Princeton?
Summa cum laude.
I majored
in English literature.
I think that I'll go
and get drunk.
So long, folks.
Good-bye, Eddie.
( gunshots )
Hey, deer season opens
next week.
Huh, what do you say?
Think you can get your wife
to let you go?
Don't worry
about that.
( chuckles )
Yeah, it'd be good for us.
Get away from the girls
for a couple of days.
Getting flabby.
Hey, maybe we'll ask
Pete and Tim along.
Just four guys.
Sounds great, sir.
Okay, we'll do it.
You ready?
First one misses sets them up.
( gunshots )
Damn it.
( gun cocks )
What are you doing?!
You know better than that!
I was just checking
the elevation.
That's just
how accidents happen.
Never point a gun at anyone.
I wasn't thinking.
All done?
Good. What about
my Chinese lesson?
I didn't think
you felt like it anymore.
Well, how about
another drink
before dinner?
No, thanks.
Ah, still sulking, huh?
Oh, yes, you are.
You've been sulking around
all evening
Ever since my little scene
with ed.
I have been upset.
I didn't know
it showed that much.
You Don't have to go on
being my secretary, you know.
I know.
I Don't want to
Break up a romance.
I Don't want that added
to my list of sins.
That's not why I'm upset,
and you know it.
No? Well, I feel no remorse,
I can tell you that.
The thought of never laying eyes
On Smith and Loughlin again
fills me with Joy.
So you can just stop
Being my little
oriental conscience.
You really are
in a foul mood.
Not at all.
I'm just tired
of your baleful looks.
Is that why you're trying
to pick a fight with me?
Look, my dear,
I know
you have an oxford degree,
And perhaps all this is
quite unworthy
Of your many talents,
But you are only my employee.
( sighs )
There's an old Chinese saying.
With the rich and powerful,
always a little Patience.
Very clever of the Chinese.
I have an idea.
Why Don't you ask smith
for a job?
Then you can be
with Sammy all the time.
It would be easier
If my concern were
purely selfish, wouldn't it?
I really couldn't
be less interested.
You'd love it
If somehow
you could convince yourself
You'd been betrayed by everyone.
Then you'd really be happy.
No guilt,
And full of
Quite a speech.
You ought to hear it
in Chinese.
( door opening )
There are one
or two of us
Who care what happens to you,
Though I can't imagine why.
Jenny, I'm...
( sighs )
( knock at door )
Good evening, Mr. Orlok.
Where would you like this?
Oh, anywhere.
It doesn't matter.
Uh, the dinners are
in the warmers, sir,
Under the table.
Thank you, sir.
Good night.
Enjoy your dinner.
( door closes )
They've got another one now.
Are you ready?
Joanie man.
( laughter and applause )
Joanie man.
Joanie man?
Wait till you hear this.
What does she do?
She takes off everything
but her earphones.
( laughter )
Well, I have to go
to work now.
Well, I think
it's just awful.
Can't you get switched
to the day shift?
Oh, it's only for
a few more weeks.
In the fourth row?
Do you really?
Yeah, from Lenny's.
Oh, no, no, no,
Joe, fourth row.
Fourth row,
behind him.
One, two, three, four...
I'm giving you
a memory test now.
I'm taking you back
to south Philadelphia.
Do I remember? I remember
the lady in green.
Do you?
that must be her daughter...
That's right.
Because I know the lady...
the lady in green...
( both humming )
Pardon me?
Lily from Philly.
Lily from Philly.
Lily from Philly!
Last week, it was Millie
from Philly and...
( television fades
into the background )
Don't go.
Bobby, Don't be silly.
What? You could
call them up,
Say you were sick.
One night, what's
the difference?
Oh, it's not right.
What should I wear?
Come on,
just tonight.
Oh, and besides,
it's too late now.
They couldn't get a substitute
For me that fast.
Oh, what do you mean?
The phone company's used
to emergencies.
Well, what if
it was an emergency.
Well, it's not
an emergency.
Should I wear
this sweater?
( television plays
in the background )
( applause on television )
Oh, it's got a run.
Oh, well.
I want to talk to you, Ilene.
Hmm. What about?
I Don't know
what's happening to me.
( applause on TV )
Oh, I get funny ideas.
Like what?
Oh, you mean, like
That I shouldn't go
to work tonight.
Does this run
look too bad?
( laughter on TV )
You Don't think I can
do anything, do you?
I think you can do
anything you want to
If you put
your mind to it.
That's what
your mother says, anyway.
How do I look?
( laughter on TV )
Ooh, ooh.
Bye-bye, dear.
Oh, Don't take my car.
Take my mother's.
Oh, why?
Well, I've got
to change the oil.
Oh, okay. Bye.
Uh, Bobby wants me
to use your car tonight.
Is it okay?
Why certainly, dear.
The keys are in the ignition.
Okay, well, bye now.
Good night, dear.
Good night.
Drive carefully.
Uh-huh. Bye.
( footsteps moving away )
As a matter of fact,
She and you are my first
undiscovered talents.
That's right.
I am probably
the first one.
( car door closes )
( laughter on TV )
I'm still waiting.
No, you're not.
You are right now
a very big personality
In the home
of every television owner.
( laughter and light applause on
TV )
My press agent...
( laughter on TV )
That Busby sure looks good
for 72...
( laughter on TV )
The band feels
good tonight.
Isn't it... Isn't it
great to do this
Without boo-boo jumping in?
That's right.
Uh, have we something there
you want to, uh...
We're having
A little bit new
I think tonight.
We ought to keep talking,
and we won't have to do it.
( laughter on TV )
I just like to get
in the mood with you.
I like to feel, like
the Corsican brothers.
( laughter on TV )
It's more
like a dolly sisters.
( laughter on TV )
hooray for Hollywood!
Now here's a message.
Oh, yes!
Isn't he silly?
I'm bushed.
So am I.
What did you
need your car for?
I'll be happy
when that bazaar is over.
So will we all, huh?
Oh, I, uh...
Got to check
some of the hoses.
Okay. Well,
good night, son.
Come on, Charlotte.
I'll be right in.
Good night, sir.
Commercial announcer:
...And at very little expense.
You look tired, dear.
Don't tinker with that
car all night now.
I won't.
You really like that
insurance job, Bobby?
They keep you so late.
Well, sure,
it's a good job.
I spoke to your
brother today.
Oh, yeah?
Everyone's fine.
The baby has a cold.
Oh, that's too bad.
Well, good night, dear.
Not too late now. Promise?
I promise.
That's a good boy.
These worries need not be yours
With the kind of protection
offered you
By Grant of Richmond,
The old line company
that cares about you.
Pick up your phone.
The number's in the white pages.
Give us a call,
and let us do the worrying.
That's Grant of Richmond.
There's a branch near you.
Here now, ladies and gentlemen,
is the young lady
That we feel very happy
and proud
To have discovered
on our show.
We know you will enjoy her,
And we know
you'll make her feel welcome,
'cause this is her first
return visit to our show.
You know what happens?
They get so good,
we can't get them back.
Can't afford them.
Will you welcome now,
miss paid March?
( applause on TV )
( dog barking )
( crickets chirping )
( dog barking )
( clock ticking )
Uh, bob, mayor get
off all right?
Yes, sir.
He told me
He wanted me
to come back
here, sir.
That's right. Sit down.
I want to talk to you
about a parole
I've been trying to get.
You know, it isn't
as easy as it sounds.
There are over 2500 men in here,
And they all want me
to do something for them.
The fight's at 2:15.
( clock ticking )
Tea, madame?
Oh! I wish you wouldn't
sneak up on me like that.
I never see you coming,
I never hear you coming.
I just look up,
and there you are.
( knocking )
( sighs )
Who is that tapping
at my chamber door?
( knocking )
Sammy, I was just
thinking about you.
Where is my script?
Come on in.
I was just watching
a relic I had a hand in.
Just-just give
me my script.
I'll give you a drink.
Well, that's different.
The criminal code.
( all yelling at once )
Take it easy.
I've had too much already.
( growling )
I saw this at the
museum of modern art.
( chuckles )
Smith's right--
I am a museum piece.
Howard hawks
directed this.
I know.
Thanks to him, it was my first
really important part.
( crowd yelling in distance )
( crowd continues yelling )
Have you seen Jenny?
I was supposed
to call her.
Why didn't you?
( crowd yelling in distance )
( crowd yelling in distance )
( yelling crescendos )
( whimpers )
( crowd roaring in distance )
TV announcer:
Yes, folks,
You're looking at the world's
largest used car dealership
On balboa boulevard,
in the City of Encino...
( sighs )
He really knows
how to tell a story.
Now look at this...
Indeed, he does.
All the good movies
have been made.
What'd you do with my script?
Oh, I Don't know.
It's over there someplace.
I wrote a hell
of a picture for you.
For you as you really are.
A tired old man.
No, no.
This was last week
when you still had some guts.
It took days
to convince Marshall.
"a work of art."
Should have heard him when he
first... When he first read it.
I Don't know.
I Don't understand it...
You sit still for three lousy,
terrible, lousy scripts we did,
And finally, you know,
I come up with something good,
And you quit.
I Haven't even read
the damn thing.
Well, why not?
God, geez, it's hot in here.
I guess I feel the cold
a little more than I did.
Open a window.
No, it's all right,
it's all right.
( sighs )
What's it all about?
Everybody's dead--
I feel like a dinosaur.
( chuckles )
Well, I know how people
think of me these days--
Uh, old-fashioned, outmoded.
Well, not after this picture,
they wouldn't.
You can't change your whole
lifetime with one picture.
And what have you got
if you quit?
Oh, Sammy, what's the use?
"Mr. Bogeyman, king of blood,"
they used to call me.
"Marx Brothers makes you laugh,
Garbo makes you weep,
Orlok makes you scream."
( chuckles )
And once I thought
I'd be an actor.
Oh, it's not that the films
are bad...
I've gotten bad.
I couldn't even play a straight
part decently anymore.
I've been doing
the other thing too long.
Of course you could.
And even that isn't the point.
You know what they
call my films today?
"camp. High camp."
Wait a minute.
I want to show
you something.
My kind of horror
isn't horror anymore.
There they are.
Look at that.
No one's afraid of
a painted monster.
The only thing you've said
that's right...
Is about this.
Which is why you ought
to do my movie.
( chuckles )
Oh, a-a-and you
Don't play
Some phony
victorian heavy.
You play a human being,
And you could play
the hell out of it.
If I were your age,
I'd play it myself.
I'm going to go offer it
to Vincent price.
I think I'd better go home now.
I think you'd
better stay here.
I think I'd better stay here.
Come on, come on, you'll be more
comfortable on the couch.
Get up. Here.
Hey, hey!
I'm very drunk.
Hey, that's my bed!
( groans ):
Good lord.
I'm as drunk as he is.
( sighs )
( match being struck )
( car pulls up outside )
( engine shuts off )
( car door closing )
( door opening )
( door closes )
( exhaling )
Leave the light off.
Why are you
still up?
Please leave the light off.
Why aren't you
asleep yet?
I have a headache.
Do you know what time it is?
Don't forget the hall light.
( light switch clicks )
( door closes )
( Ilene yawning )
I can't see
a thing.
( clatter )
( groans )
Honestly, why can't we
Turn on the light?
It hurts my eyes.
( yawns )
Well, it certainly was
a busy night tonight.
God, I'm exhausted.
Seems like everyone
was calling long
( water running )
( brushing teeth )
( water splashing )
( water running )
( exhales )
Good night.
Good night.
You want to talk now?
No, you're tired.
Oh, I sure am.
Well, aren't you
going to go to sleep?
( exhales )
I just want to finish
the cigarette.
Well... Good night.
Good night, Ilene.
( crickets chirping )
Mmm, good morning.
Good morning, dear.
( bell rings )
Oh, that's the
grocery boy. Coming!
What are you typing?
Aren't you going
To go to work?
( gunshot )
( gunshot )
( gunshot )
( lock turning )
( loading bullets )
( lock turning )
( birds chirping )
( children playing outside )
( dog barking )
( water running )
( water running )
( water turned off )
( paper towels tearing )
( clattering )
( door shuts )
( engine starting )
I like to hear you say
that you love me
but you Don't have to tell me
all the time
'cause I can tell
you're thinking of me
I can hear you in my mind...
( engine roaring
as car pulls away )
( clock ticking )
( man moaning )
( groaning softly )
H-have you
gone mad?
I was having
a nightmare.
I opened my eyes,
the first thing I see
Is Byron Orlok.
Very funny,
very funny.
( groaning )
Oh, what time is it?
( clattering )
( groaning )
( knock at door )
I'll get it.
No, no, no, no.
( knocking )
Oh-oh, oh.
( pounding at door )
Good morning,
my dear.
Good morning.
Oh, not so loud.
Here you are.
Suite on the super chief
to Chicago,
Suite on the 20th century
to New York,
First class on the queen
Elizabeth to Southampton.
You have to leave
tonight at 8:00
If you want to catch the ship.
Suite to Chicago,
suite to New York,
First class on the
Queen Elizabeth--
Cancel them.
I might as well make that
personal appearance tonight.
No, Don't
say anything.
I'm still retiring.
But I told you I wanted
to go home on the queen Mary.
What happened here
last night?
He had a guest.
Boy, you just made
my headache worse.
You can do that lousy pea.
Instead of my movie.
Buy off your
So, I go back to television,
and you take my girl to London.
You look worse than he does.
I feel worse.
Go wash up.
No, I got to go home.
Oh, no, you're going
to stay and help me
With that
thing tonight.
Go on.
Order some breakfast,
would you, Jenny?
Oh, I couldn't eat
on an empty stomach.
Hello, Eddie?
This is Jenny.
I have good news for you.
Byron's going
to do the drive-in.
( car radio playing loud music )
( lowers music volume )
( music continues )
Hiya, Roy.
Could I have, uh,
( coughing )
Oh, and a box of the 12 gauge.
What size?
Four buck.
Good bit
of shooting.
Anything else?
How's your dad?
He's okay.
( coughing )
Damn flu
going around.
Spent the day in bed yesterday.
The whole day.
Oh, yeah?
Could you charge that to my dad?
I'll check.
( coughing )
( coughing )
( dialing phone )
( coughing )
Sign here, bob.
Going out with your dad again?
Here you go.
Thanks a lot.
What you hunting
this time?
Going to shoot some pigs.
Good luck.
( coughing )
( bell jingling )
Hey, groovy, groovy.
Now, uh, somebody
announces me on the P.A.
"uh, Laddies and James,
papas and mamas,
"here's your boss
disc daddy,
"the winner spinner
with the sounds around,
Kip the hip Larkin.
Let's harken Larkin."
All right, then after you finish
plugging your show,
You introduce Mr. Orlok,
and we can get on with...
No plugs-- not kip the hip.
I am just going to tell them
What a big thrill
this is for me,
And that's no put-on.
When I was a kid, Mr. O,
I must have dug your flicks
four zillion times.
You blew my mind.
Is that beautiful?
All right,
come on,
Let's, uh,
let's go on.
Hey, man--
Direct me, C.B.
I'll try.
All right, after
Mr. Orlok comes out
And says a few words...
That's when I hit him
with the questions
From the kids in the audience.
Got them right here.
All right, let's, uh,
let's hear them.
Yeah, groovy;
uh, Mr. Orlok--
'scuse me, uh, do
I call you Byron
Or Mr. Orlok?
It doesn't matter.
Mr. Orlok.
Mr. Orlok-- groovy.
Got some questions here
from the fans out there.
Mr. O, how do you like
being in motion pictures?
What's the next one?
( phone ringing )
"what's the next one?"
( chuckles )
"is Byron Orlok
your real name?"
Sammy, this isn't
very interesting.
( phone ringing )
Jenny, can't we hold up
those calls?
Dick, dick, um...
( clears throat )
"what is your next
flick going to be?"
Sammy, this is dull--
Deadly dull.
It's going to be
my last appearance,
And I'd like
to do something that...
Hey, what are you
cats talking about?
Why Don't you
tell them a story?
You know a few
scary stories.
Yes, I might perhaps
do that, yes.
Well, what's taking
you so long?
Hey, you know what
they're doing, man?
Well, now,
let me think. I...
I think I know
a short one
That might do.
Let's hear it.
Hey, what about
these questions?
Ladies and gentlemen,
Boys and girls,
I'd like to leave you
with a little story
To think about
as you drive home...
Through the darkness.
Once upon a time,
many years ago...
There should be a pin spot
while they see my face
As I'm talking.
Once upon a time,
Many, many years ago,
A rich merchant in Baghdad
sent his servant
To the marketplace
to buy provisions.
And after a while,
The servant came back
white-faced and trembling
And said, "master, when I was
in the marketplace,
"I was jostled by a woman
in the crowd,
"and I turned to look,
"and I saw that it was death
that had jostled me.
"and she looked at me
and made a threatening gesture!
"oh, master, please,
lend me your horse,
"that I may ride away
from this city
"and escape my fate.
"I will ride to Sumara,
And death
Will not find me there."
So, the merchant
loaned him the horse,
And the servant mounted it
And dug his spurs
into its flank,
And as fast as the horse
could gallop,
He rode towards Sumara.
Then the merchant
went to the marketplace,
And he saw death
standing in the crowd.
And he said to her,
"why did you make
a threatening gesture
To my servant when you saw him
this morning?"
And death said, "I made
no threatening gesture.
"that was... That was only
a start of surprise.
"I was astonished to see him
here in Baghdad,
"for I have an appointment
with him tonight...
In Sumara."
( music playing loudly
on radio )
( tires screeching )
( music stops )
( soft, high-pitched whining
in distance )
( whining louder )
( mechanical whirring )
( whining very loud )
( gunshot )
( tires screeching )
( four gunshots )
( gunshot )
( gunshot )
( tires screeching,
second gunshot )
( clicks )
( groans, hisses )
( gunshot )
( high-pitched whining )
( gunshot )
( gunshot, tires screeching )
( gunshot, tires screeching )
( tires screeching )
( crashing )
( footsteps on stairs )
Hey, what are you doing?
( screams )
( siren wailing )
( siren wailing )
( sirens approaching )
( siren wailing )
( sirens approaching )
( radio playing rock music )
( tires screeching )
( horn honking )
( siren wailing )
Radio DJ:
Now we're going to go-go
with this sound!
( upbeat song playing )
( siren wailing )
he was on his...
...Leaving town
he just stopped by to tell me
that she's gone
( siren wailing )
( tires screeching )
how she laid 'em down
they all heard my baby humming
the California...
( tires screeching )
they all stopped by to tell me
that she's gone
oh, how she used to love
to dance that ol' grizzly bear
( siren wailing )
I guess she's gone to Frisco
to dance it there
because when I woke up
this morning
she was gone
she was gone
oh, she was gone
yeah, she was gone
she was gone
she was gone
she was gone
yeah, she was gone.
Good evening, sir.
One, please.
All right.
Squares, go home.
We only want the winners here
'cause this is
The winner spinner
with sounds around.
Hit to hit now.
We're gonna play a record
for you, and we're...
That's one-fifty
and two.
Thank you.
( gentle rock and roll playing )
when I go by Baltimore
need no carpet on my floor
come along, follow me
we'll go down to Galilee
and it's a green, green
Rocky road
( fading ):
promenade in green
tell me who y'all love,
tell me y'all...
( engine starting )
I really did mean one thing
I said last night, Jenny.
I Don't want you to return
to London with me
If it's going to...
Upset any plans.
I never make plans,
you know that.
If you mean about
Sammy and me,
It'll probably make things
go one way or the another.
Do the Chinese have a saying
for that, too?
( easy listening music playing )
( children talking )
( boy shouting happily )
( easy listening music playing )
how can you care about me
when you can't even see me
standing alone by your side
you tell me that you won't
let your pride

without you, I can't...

to love and understand you
like I do
always knowing what
to call you

I sometimes wonder why...
( children talking and laughing
happily )
promenade in green
tell me who you'll love
tell me who you'll love
who you'll love
who you'll love.
( wheels squeaking )
( slow rock music playing )
( children laughing )
( easy listening music playing )
( radio static )
Is Byron Arock here yet?
Byron Orlok.
I Don't know, butch.
He's probably here.
( clamoring )
Good evening,
Mr. Loughlin.
How are you?
Are the folks here yet?
No, no, you're
the first one.
It's starting!
It's starting!
( machine humming )
( dramatic music playing )
( dramatic music playing
on speaker )
( thunder rumbling )
( bird screeching )
( knocking )
( knocking continues )
In the name
of the government of France,
I order you to open this door!
( hinges squeaking )
Your pardon, young sir.
I was at my devotions,
and I did not hear you.
I'm sorry, sir,
But surely I
made enough noise
To wake the dead.
The government of France.
I've seen the uniforms
of many governments in my time.
What do soldiers of France
want here?
Shelter, for one thing.
Permit me to
introduce myself.
Andr Duvalier.
Baron Hector Verig von Leppe.
I suggest you will find
better shelter in the village.
Thank you, baron,
But I've had my
fill of village inns.
Surely you wouldn't
want to inconvenience
a French officer?
Come in.
What do you see,
Of a plain
but noble house?
Relics, ghosts...
A noble heritage
is something to be
proud of, baron.
I'm afraid
we've forgotten
that in France.
Ah, yes.
Your name--
Your family?
My father was
the count Duvalier.
Was, till they came
one morning...
Forgive me for reviving
painful memories.
You must be cold and tired,
Some cognac?
I would like that,
baron, thank you.
Yes, sir?
Cognac for our guest.
( thunder crashing onscreen )
God, what an ugly town
this has become.
Well, we certainly have
a lot of police out here.
( siren wailing in distance )
Baron, I wonder
if I might ask,
Who was the young woman
I saw in the window
Before you came
to the door?
Young woman?
Oh, I fear
you're mistaken.
No, I'm not mistaken;
I saw her.
Dark hair and
eyes, about 20.
Oh, I'm quite sure
you think you saw someone.
I am in full possession
of my faculties.
Please, allow me
to show you something.
You should
never believe
Everything your eyes
tell you, young man.
Is that the girl
you think you saw?
Of course...
Before you say
anything else,
Examine the portrait
The signature,
and above all, the date.
But that's
20 years ago.
The same girl, and she
hasn't changed a bit.
She has been dead
for 20 years.
( thunder rolling on movie )
( ominous music playing
on soundtrack )
( dialogue continues )
...For a ghost,
she's a very active
Young woman.
You're speaking
of the Baroness
von Leppe, my wife.
( sharp intake of breath )
( gunshot and glass shattering )
...Not quite as much
as I had thought.
The girl in
the window...
Lieutenant Duvalier,
The only occupants
of this castle
Are Stefan
and myself.
You are the first visitor
since the turn of the cen...
( people clamoring )
Good evening.
Hey, Mr. Orlok,
it certainly is a great honor
To have you with us.
That's very kind of you.
Where do you want us?
Uh, well,
we have a little stage
Right up in front
of the screen.
Come on in and
let's have a drink.
It's on Marshall.
Oh, thank you very much,
But I think we'll just wait
here in the car.
( clamoring )
When do you want us
to interrupt the film?
Do you have to interrupt
the film at all?
Yeah, we're just waiting
for Mr. Larkin.
Oh. Sam hasn't come yet,
has he, ed?
Well, then,
We'll just go up front
and watch.
All right.
Uh, when you go in,
just turn around
And go all the way
up to the front,
up by the screen.
You won't be bothered there,
Mr. Orlok.
Thank you very much.
All right, Ludlum.
( clamoring continues )
( movie dialogue continues )
And her lover?
took care of him.
Later, I made up the story
that she had died.
No one ever knew
of her betrayal of me.
( sharp intake of breath )
( gunshot )
Turn out the light!
The light!
( gunshot )
Hey, look, I-I'll
take a look.
( gunshot )
Stay in there!
Keep down!
( movie dialogue continues )
( gunshot )
There's somebody shooting
out here!
( gunshot )
Open the window!
Has anyone else
except yourself...?
( dialogue continues )
You think I'm mad, Don't you?
Right now, baron, I'm not
sure just what I think.
Ah, but Don't forget,
you saw her, too.
Strange not to hear
any reactions, isn't it?
( movie soundtrack playing )
( bell ringing )
Take this gun.
Escort the lieutenant
to the castle.
( bell ringing )
If he resists, kill him.
Look, baron...
( thunder rumbling in movie )
( sharp intake of breath )
( gunshot )
Somebody's drunk.
Roll your window
There's a sniper in here!
( gunshot and glass shattering )
( sobbing )
( movie soundtrack playing )
( thunder crashing onscreen )
( film fluttering )
Shooting! Somebody's shooting!
A sniper!
What? I can't hear you.
Will you turn that
thing down, Eva?
There's a sniper here.
( engine starting )
( sharp intake of breath
and gunshot )
Turn those lights off!
( gunshots and screaming )
( child sobbing )
( gunshot and glass shattering )
( engines starting )
( horn honking
and glass shattering )
( horn honking )
Those damn kids again.
Baron von Leppe:
You're not alone.
( engine starting )
( horn honking )
Somebody's shooting
at people in there!
( tires screeching )
Let's get out of here!
( horns honking
and engines running )
Von Leppe:
...With our love.
They seem to be loving it,
Don't they?
What's going on?
I Don't know.
We can't find the manager.
( car honking )
Hey, C.B.
What's happening?
I Don't know.
Is Mr. Orlok
here yet?
Yes, yes, he's right down
by the screen.
Which side?
On the right.
Okay, thanks.
( horns honking )
( horns honking )
( phones buzzing )
Baron von Leppe:
God knows I have enough
upon my conscience
Without the senseless murder
of a young man
Who never harmed me.
How do you know
what harm he plans?
Want him wandering
around the castle...?
( horns honking )
( engines revving )
( trigger clicks )
( metallic clanging )
( honking and shouting )
( engines revving )
A man went crazy!
What's going on?
What's going on?
I Don't know--
people said
There's a sniper
out there someplace.
Go to the booth
and tell Bill to stop the film.
( horns honking )
Baron von Leppe:
You happen to return to...
Let me see
who you really are!
What kind of a woman are you?
Where are you?
Turn out those lights!
Turn those lights off!
Why doesn't Bill...?
Bill's been shot!
He's not moving!
My God, it's true then.
Turn the lights off.
I'm calling the police.
Get Orlok out of there!
My God.
It's me!
Open up!
( horns honking )
Here, I got one.
( footsteps )
That man has a rifle.
( gunshot )
Hold there.
( gunshots )
( sirens wailing in distance )
My, God, Jenny!
( tires screeching )
( sirens blaring )
( trigger clicks )
( horns honking )
Turn this on!
There he is!
Take care of her.
Mr. Orlok!
( horns honking )
Oh, I'm all right,
Sam, but...
Watch it!
There's someone
going up there.
( gunshots )
( trigger clicking )
You okay,
Mr. Orlok?
You all right?
Is he clean?
Yeah, he's clean.
Is that what I was afraid of?
( sirens blaring )
All right, boy,
let's go.
Hardly ever missed,
did I?
( crowd clamoring )
It's all over now.
Clear back.
Stand back.
Let's go.
Clear out.
It's over now.
Let's go.
( siren blaring )
Byron, wait a minute!
( horns honking,
sirens blaring )