Taslim Ahali (2022) Movie Script

1
IN LOVING MEMORY OF
COMEDY LEGEND SAMIR GHANIM
ACTRESS AND MOTHER DALAL ABDULAZIZ
ELECTRICITY AUTHORITY
TASLIM AHALI
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
- Where's Mr. Sedqy's office?
- That's his office.
- That one?
- Yes.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Mr. Sedqy?
- Yes?
- Mr. Al-Bizawi sent me to you.
- He's a dear friend.
We need to transfer the ownership
of an electricity meter.
Your lovely signature.
The blue contract,
and the yellow form.
What? Where is the pink receipt?
Where do I get it, sir?
After exiting this building,
go to the third one on the right.
Find Mrs. Bosaina on the third floor.
Give her file as-is.
She'll then give you the pink receipt.
So, to infinity and beyond!
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
I'll be right back.
Are you Mrs. Bosaina?
- That's her.
- Her?
- Mrs. Bosaina?
- Yes?
Mr. Sedqy sent me.
Kindly consider the request
of the citizen before you with compassion.
His heart melted
from the excessive wandering
and searching.
His desire grew stronger
to accomplish the task.
He waited for years
for the ownership transfer to go through.
Would you please have mercy?
His fate now hangs
on a signature from your gentle hands.
It seems like your request
is very important to Mr. Sedqy.
Please take this form back to him.
He'll sign it and stamp it.
Is this the last step?
- That's depends on him.
- On him?
Thanks, Mrs. Bosaina.
Can you tell me
where was the citizen this whole time,
and what stopped him
from filing his request?
Back in the days,
he filed them early in the morning.
But it seems like the citizen
is no longer passionate.
And passion is given, not requested.
He said, meet him
in the archives in half an hour.
How dare you open the dossier,
flip through, and read the contents?
You're an uncouth and disloyal person,
and you have no principles.
Principles? What principles Mrs. Archives?
What did you just call me?
The day you get that signature
is the day hell freezes over.
I don't want it,
nor do I want the electricity.
I'd rather light a candle
than be a "facilitator"!
A facilitator of what you're trying to do!
The you-know-what, Bosaina! Mrs. Archives!
Damn you.
Get out! Damn it!
I'm not leaving, you you indecent people!
- Get out!
- I'll wait for you downstairs.
- You have no manners!
- What is this?
Unbelievable!
As that pig just told you, dear.
Meet me in the archives.
Dear lord.
Sedqy.
Sedqy.
Shame on you, Sedqy.
I told you countless times
I'm easily scared.
Sedqy.
I swear I'm going to hate you
if you startle me like every time.
I'm easily startled.
Surprise!
Unbelievable.
Did you think I'd ever forget
when my love's birthday is?
One moment, guys.
One moment, please.
One moment.
Bosbos.
Will you marry me?
Wow!
It's 10:11 a.m.
I'm waiting for my interview.
The place looks peaceful,
and I'm optimistic.
I wonder if I can settle here.
Will I be lucky enough
to stay here until death do us part?
- Ms. Zahya?
- Yes, sir.
- This way.
- Okay.
- Zahya Abu Al--
- Abu El-Zawahef.
I know. It's an odd name.
Not at all, Mrs. Zahya.
Hopefully.
I'm still a miss.
Can you brief me
about your work, Ms. Zahya?
How did you interact with your team?
How was your manager?
He was drop-dead gorgeous.
His wife passed away. How unfortunate.
I'm asking about your work.
I handled relations, sir.
- Public relations?
- Private.
Whoever had a personal
or a romantic problem,
came to me for a one-on-one.
Isn't smoking prohibited in interviews?
Interview? Keep going.
I got three people
in my department engaged.
- Why do you want to leave then?
- Because they're engaged.
I mean, everyone went their own way,
so I should find my own journey
with new people.
Ms. Zahya, I usually hate asking
this conventional question,
but I feel an urge to ask it now.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
In a kitchen,
in a beautiful duplex.
The doorbell rings.
It's my kids, Mariam and Youssef
coming back from school.
How precious!
They're not born yet.
Just wishful thinking.
The doorbell rings again. It's Youssef.
- Again?
- No, Youssef my husband.
I named my son after his dad.
My husband Youssef
is a bearded soft-haired Adonis.
He hugs me from behind, and says,
"What's for dinner, beautiful?"
I say, "it's a surprise.
What do you love most?"
He says, "you."
And I say, "No. I meant pastitsio."
Really?
Hopes and dreams.
Ms. Zahya.
Why are you here?
Look, sir.
You seem like a nice guy.
Dr. Khalil.
Dr. Khalil!
Dr. Khalil!
Doctor!
What, Atiyat? Can't I take a nap
in this hospital?
Get up, Doctor. There are no vacant beds,
and a patient is coming.
Is it a car accident with lots of blood?
Not at all. How could he be ill
when you need a nap, sir?
No, doctor. It's just a stroke.
Strokes are nice. Let him in.
- Help us, doctor.
- What happened?
I don't know. He was fine all day.
Suddenly, he had a seizure
and kept reciting Shahadah on the way.
I'm glad he recited it.
Some people die drunk.
- How old is he?
- 69.
A prime age for strokes.
People rarely survive that age.
Dr. Khalil, I want to consult you.
Sure, Dr. Romaisaa. I'm free.
- Could you wait outside?
- Yes.
Dr. Khalil,
after analyzing our relationship,
to take a sample of our recent situation,
to evaluate our relationship,
this is the result.
What? You want to leave me
when I need you the most?
And the embassy interview on the 15th?
You know the points I'll lose
if we're not together?
I knew you'd forget every good deed I did.
Good deed? Give me one example.
Your accident on your way back
from the North Coast.
- Who gave you the tow truck number?
- Shouldn't you have come?
Drive from Cairo to the North Coast
to do what? Tow it myself?
What about my father's funeral?
You should've come.
You wouldn't have seen me.
It wasn't a mixed-gender funeral.
Dr. Khalil,
have you run blood tests before?
- Many times.
- Found any?
- Lots of it.
- Impossible.
Anyway, this is a notification,
not a discussion.
Here's your ring.
- I'll send you the betrothal gift.
- When?
- Bye!
- Bye.
So, old man
This is Sameh.
A project manager in our company.
You're basically matchmaking
for a daughter.
What now?
- Handsome, huh?
- Yeah.
But he's a player.
Sameh is weak.
He'll do your bidding.
Check again. Maybe you have someone
tucked away in a folder.
Maybe saving him for a relative.
Would I keep him from you?
We're interview mates after all.
Anyway, I'll send you their photos
and salaries.
But that's confidential.
For your eyes only.
Yes, Mom?
I'm at a caf. Still at the interview.
The interview has
I'll explain later. What's happened?
Swear?
Thank God!
Of course, I'm free.
I'd free myself if I wasn't.
Okay, Mom. Bye.
You're my good luck charm.
Someone wants to marry me.
- Who?
- Khalil. Uncle Sedqy's son.
Didn't he kiss your cheek
that summer when you were kids?
I guess you could say
he's the love of my life.
What life, Zahya?
You were about to marry anyone
a second ago.
Let me enjoy the moment, Mr. Shaker.
Is Khalil suitable?
Or not! Doesn't matter. Congratulations.
Thank you.
- There he is.
- What's going on, Dad?
- What's going on, Grandpa?
- We need to talk.
- At the hospital?
- You're never home.
Come on.
You want to get married, Dad? Why?
I need the company, son.
I want someone to talk to.
I talk to you. Wait, no, I don't.
Grandpa does.
You're too young for that,
and I can't marry him.
I'll need someone with me when I'm old.
What about me, Dad?
Did you know I get a 50% discount
at this hospital?
- Just get old, and I'll handle it.
- Listen, son.
- I have needs.
- What?
- I have needs.
- Speak up. I can't--
- I have needs!
- Okay, Dad. I heard you.
I want to get married,
just like everyone else.
If you know what I mean.
Aha!
- In your age? Can you?
- Even your grandpa can.
Okay, you're free to do whatever.
Why do you need me?
The bride needs to know
she won't be just a stepmother.
Besides, don't be co-dependent, Dad.
I got engaged without wasting your time.
- You're engaged?
- We've just called it off.
- Didn't I tell you?
- No.
Listen, kid. We'll be swift. Do it for me!
Fine. I'll do it for you.
Who's the unlucky girl
I mean, the lucky girl?
Mom, look what I found.
Who's this?
- Isn't that Khalil, Sedqy's son?
- Yes!
- Remember when he kissed me?
- What?
When?
During that summer when we were kids.
Aha.
Forgive me, Zahya.
I feel like I sprung this on you.
I feel like I gave you no choice.
Actually, Mom. The faster, the better.
Why are you overdressed?
I'm overdressed? That's you.
No, you're incredibly overdressed.
What?
Open open the door.
No, that should be you.
Traditionally, you should be opening it!
You taught me the exact opposite, Mom!
You'll ruin my entrance, Mom.
Please, let this work out.
- How are you, Grandpa?
- Hello, dear Zahya.
I haven't seen you in ages.
You've become such a beautiful woman.
Thanks, Grandpa.
How are you, Uncle?
Or shall I call you Dad?
Oh, sweetie. Is mommy around?
Of course, she's here.
- Where is--
- Dad!
What's for dinner, beautiful?
What do you love most?
- You.
- I meant pastitsio.
You're going to be as naughty
as your father.
She has your eyes.
He has your eyebrows.
Did he even grow any?
You're something else!
Zahya!
Malak, Khalil, go to your rooms.
Zahya, I don't know what I was thinking.
Believe me, Zahya.
Shantil was a meaningless hookup.
Zahya, I'm
Don't say it.
I forgive you.
Because I love you.
I love you beyond measure.
Get married.
Get married, Zahya,
and enjoy the rest of your life after me.
- Donate a water fountain in my name.
- Don't say that!
No, Zahya.
- It's over.
- No.
- I'm ready to meet my maker.
- No.
- I love you, sweetie pie.
- No!
Khalil!
- Khalil!
- What the hell?
- Allahu Akbar.
- Allahu Akbar.
- I told you, you look vexing.
- Are you okay?
I'm fine.
- We can cancel.
- No!
- It's not a game.
- Cancel.
- Enough.
- Come in.
Thanks, sweetie.
Come in.
I'll get the sharbat.
I want black coffee, no sugar.
That's after the funeral.
What a breathtaking sight!
Such grace!
- Welcome.
- Hello, Bosaina.
- How are you, Uncle?
- I'm fine.
- For me?
- They're not for me.
Have a seat.
Thanks. You're such a gentleman.
Look, they're acting shy.
- As if!
- Dad!
Before we begin,
I have a few questions for you.
- I'd like you to answer them.
- Sure.
Are you still biologically capable
of giving birth?
What?
That's not what I meant.
I'm already sure my dad isn't.
Dad, I have an interview
at the embassy on the 15th.
I stated that I have no siblings.
I can't tell them on the day that I have
- Wait, you don't have time to do that.
- We don't.
Scratch that question.
- What embassy?
- I'm immigrating to Canada.
- Didn't I tell you?
- No.
What's wrong with your son, Sedqy?
Didn't you insist that I bring him along?
We can always cancel.
- Why?
- No!
Thank you, sweetie. Welcome back, Zahya.
Have a seat, Zahya,
so we can chat for a bit.
- Listen, Zahya--
- Let's read Al-Fatiha.
- Listen, Zahya--
- One moment, Grandpa.
Khalil, I feel like you've read
Al-Fatiha too quickly.
- No, I read all of it.
- Go ahead.
Listen, Zahya--
Before you say anything.
- We're people of principles, we'll--
- Let me finish!
Listen, Zahya.
We came to ask for my niece Bosaina's
hand in marriage for my son Sedqy!
- Does Uncle Sedqy want to marry you?
- Yes, sweetie.
But you're our mother and father.
Is that allowed?
Why wouldn't it be?
I mean, can Khalil marry me
if you marry Uncle Sedqy?
- Does Khalil want to marry you?
- Did you say that?
That's not what I said.
I said, Sedqy is coming to propose to me.
My sweet girl.
Did you think Khalil came
to propose to you?
Yes, Mom. That's what I thought.
Which one is more likely
to be proposed to?
The mother, of course.
Whispering is impolite.
- We'll cancel if you want.
- Enough.
- No!
- Cancel?
It's fine. All my friends
got married before me.
Mai got married before me,
and so did Yasmin and An'on.
Even Siso got married before me.
Congrats, Uncle Sedqy.
May you live happily ever after, Mom.
As for me,
- I hope I die.
- Don't say that, honey.
- This coffee isn't without sugar.
- Zip it.
We'll finally live together, Bosbos.
I can hardly believe it.
- Where's the bathroom? I feel sick.
- Over there.
Don't worry about a thing.
The family and I
have planned for everything.
It's 10:30 p.m.
Praise be to Allah, at all times.
I'm back to being single.
I face society's pressures
and its harsh criticism.
What can I do?
I've learned to make peace
with my loneliness.
Wait a minute.
Didn't I read Al-Fatiha
with the intention of marriage?
Welcome to Dar al-Ifta al-Misriyyah.
To speak to one of our representatives,
press one.
I can't talk here.
- How are you, Darling?
- I'm fine. Thank you.
- You're handsome.
- You don't say?
I swear. You look nothing
like your dad and grandpa.
- Forget about them. Are you free?
- Definitely.
I need the patient's reports
as soon as possible Dr. Darling.
I didn't report you
because we're colleagues.
I'll call you later, Dr. Darling.
Some idiot thinks I'm talking to her.
- Didn't I ask you for coffee?
- Sorry, I had a phone call.
Your coffee is ready.
What's this?
Where to? Drink your coffee first.
Okay.
You're missing a lot of cringes out there.
Are you okay with this?
What?
Were you surprised
that your dad proposed to my mom?
Who else would? My Grandpa?
You weren't then.
- How's my coffee?
- It sucks.
Enjoy.
- I'm a little disappointed though.
- Why?
You never call
even though we're relatives.
- As if we're complete strangers.
- Aren't we?
- I've never met you.
- What do you mean?
- We spent the summer together as kids.
- We did?
Have you forgotten our summer vacation?
Never mind that. What about the?
What? The filling?
What filling? The kiss.
Oh, no.
- What kiss?
- The one we had as kids.
- What are you talking about?
- In that summer vacation.
- Why did you shut it?
- The cooker hood might overheat.
Why are you so afraid? I won't bite.
Come on.
What cooker hood?
Drink your coffee.
Here are some snacks.
By the way, we keep the biscuits
above the cupboard.
Why should I care?
You're going to move in with us.
Or are we moving in?
I don't care who moves in with whom.
I have an interview on the 15th
to immigrate to Canada anyway.
Canada is a world away.
Mom would lose her mind.
Lose her mind?
What does this have to do with her?
Finally, Bosbos.
- I want two boys and a girl.
- Stop it, Sedqy.
I'm a bit self-conscious.
Everyone is looking at us.
Besides, I'm nervous and worried.
Really?
- Are you still worried?
- Oh, you!
You've blossomed into a stunning woman.
Remember when you wet
your Uncle Gaber's cloth?
- And you Khalil.
- What?
So, are you in a relationship?
- Khalil?
- Uncle!
- Khalil?
- Get off me, goof!
Are you going to stay single
and wither among us?
Among whom? I'm not among you.
- Behave, Khalil.
- That's why I hate this family.
- He's a pest.
- You're the pest. Get lost.
The buffet is ready.
- Would you like to take a look?
- Okay.
Marriage suits Bosaina.
She's absurd. A wedding at her age?
And the man-child is wearing a corset
to hide his belly.
- Khalil?
- Khalil!
Who are you?
- Your Aunt Ebtisam.
- I'm your Aunt Golfidan.
Say hello to Kazem.
He's your cousin six times removed.
Hey, Kazem! How are you?
I haven't seen you in ages.
My, how you've grown!
Khalil, listen.
- Let's rehearse.
- Rehearse what?
The song I sent you, and you said, "Okay."
- What song? You're not in my contacts.
- How? Show me.
You have me as "Zahya Ignore."
- That figures. I'm blocked.
- You sent me a 45-minute voice note.
I wanted to avoid the second half.
Why'd send me the okay emoji then?
- That's an okay?
- Yes.
No. I meant that I feel suffocated.
- Zahya, did you send this?
- Yes.
You'll never hear from me again.
And never come back.
Don't stray too far
before the couple's dance.
- Is he looking?
- Whom?
- Khalil.
- Who's that?
That guy I was standing with a second ago.
That guy.
He's looking at us.
He's so in love with me. I got him!
Listen, whisper something to me.
- Whisper what, Aunt?
- Aunt? Say anything.
You're so funny, Mado.
Didn't I say no sugar?
- Didn't I say that?
- I'm sorry, sir.
Make me another one.
He wasn't coming here.
Khalil.
Are you still mad?
Don't make a scene. We're just friends.
Exactly. That's what I've been
trying to tell you.
I meant Mado and I.
There's nothing between us.
I'm not thinking about you
or Mado or anyone at the wedding.
You're right.
You must be under a lot of stress
after what happened with Romaisaa.
How did you know that?
Your dad told my mom.
Mom told me, so I searched Facebook.
I found out her little sister
was Aunt Fadya's daughter's schoolmate.
As you know, girls talk.
That funeral thing wasn't in your favor.
I finally figured out who you are.
You're always in People You May Know.
Your profile picture
is a photo of Mai Ezz El-din.
I ignored you yesterday.
So you've noticed me.
Tell me the story.
I want to know who's at fault.
- Tell me--
- Shh.
- Trust me--
- Shh!
Why is this any of your business?
Are we even family?
Yes, we are.
We're Khalil and Zahya Abu El-Zawahef.
And the Zawahef's are getting married.
- Get out of my way.
- No. Please, stay.
Can you please listen to the song,
and tell me what you think?
I love your unkempt yet soft hair.
- What?
- Can you hear it well?
Yes, I can.
Your eyes are both hazel and green.
- What are you saying?
- Should I turn it up?
Yes, turn it up.
Upstairs lives a seeker of me
He asks about me
then you go, "It has been."
After sleepless nights
To solve the role I involve
Did you get it, Khalil?
- Me?
- Of course.
- Who else is going to sing your part?
- I don't like this song.
Trust me. It's so good,
everyone will lose their minds.
Bosbos.
- I love you.
- I adore you.
Gifts and subtle cues,
A fancy rendezvous
To reciprocate, or
The music is too loud.
There's too much bass.
That's how you get people to dance.
I'm out of bullets.
I got you, sis. Don't worry.
Thanks, sweetheart.
Upstairs lives a seeker of me
He asks about me
- It has been
- Many sleepless nights
To solve the role I
involve
Gifts and subtle cues,
A fancy rendezvous
- To reciprocate, or
- Not
He's waiting for a sign,
Do I give him one
- or do I leave him
- standing in line.
In this tale of fate,
I'll fly away,
And find someone else
Maybe he will too
- Your father killed him.
- Dad!
There's no time for that. Get over here.
- What's going on?
- Move!
- Where's Mom?
- Don't worry. Take cover.
- What is it? The thing is
- No!
What?
You bastard!
- Are you kids okay?
- Yes, but we got hungry.
We must escape fast.
Reinforcements are coming.
- Grandpa!
- Get him out. We'll cover you.
Come on. Help him.
This way.
What's happening?
Where are we? Where have you taken us?
It's our secret lair.
Take a look at your grandpa.
I can see him well from here.
Help him, bastard. My father is dying.
- Move it.
- Let me go!
Okay. Wait, no! Cover him.
I can't stand the sight of blood.
Can't stand blood?
Is your son a banker?
I'll explain, Ma'am.
He's in internal medicine,
not surgical ER.
- Do you know, Ma'am, when--
- What's with the titles?
That's the least I can do
after you raised me all those years,
without pointing a gun or a grenade at me.
What gun? You're my daughter.
Are you getting acquainted?
I said, my father is dying!
Take him to a hospital!
A hospital? No!
That'll get the police involved.
I'll get you everything.
No, I can't stand looking at blood!
I don't mind it.
Do something, please.
- My father is dying.
- Your father will die once, sir.
I die countless times a day.
My father is dying, drama queen!
Okay, I got this.
- Get me gloves and surgical tools.
- Here.
Here are the gloves,
and threads of all colors.
Holy hell. He's doomed.
A towel and hot water. Quick.
Why? Is he giving birth?
To sterilize the needle
and clean the wound!
Get the whiskey from under the bed.
You want to die drunk?
Here you go.
Here's the disinfectant.
And here's the anesthetic.
Here.
Search for the bullet carefully.
Mind the femoral artery.
Would you like a cola or ice?
There it is. I found the bullet.
What bullet?
That's his intramedullary nail.
I'm sorry, dear.
If you place your nail under your pillow
What are you saying, Dad? Put it back.
Screw it well.
They'll pin it on us if he's paralyzed.
Stop spray talking into the wound!
- Here's the bullet.
- Suture the wound.
Get up. I'll sew it and baste it.
Use a skin-colored thread.
That's for our pool days.
I have a question, Khalil.
There was a hose.
Hose? It better not be the femoral artery.
- Did something happen to it?
- No, it's fine.
I'm just curious.
Is it okay if it leaks a bit?
I can't leak, or we'll have to amputate.
Wouldn't it heal on its own?
- What did you do, Zahya? Answer me!
- Nothing.
Mom. Give me that gum.
Use it to plug the wound.
- Thank God you're safe, Grandpa.
- Well done.
You should've been an accountant.
Aunt Golfidan?
What brought them here?
- How are you, Uncle Gaber?
- Welcome. Come in.
How's my uncle?
Thanks, Kazem. Wait in the car.
- What are they both doing here?
- Should I have left them?
You'll spare them
despite them knowing the HQ's whereabouts?
- Are you thinking about it?
- They know everything already.
- It doesn't matter anymore.
- They do know everything.
Allow me to introduce the family, kids.
Your Aunt Golfidan.
A housewife and a serial killer.
Your Aunt Ebtisam.
The leader of the biggest drug ring
in western Cairo.
Aunt Ebtisam?
You used to help me study grammar.
I'm your Uncle Gaber. A sniper.
That's no longer the case.
I'm glad that the old man
and the zucchini are safe and sound.
Thank God. The old man is safe and sound.
But the Zucchini isn't.
What?
You could say, the Zucchini was stolen.
- Oh my God!
- That's a disaster!
- Is the zucchini your only concern?
- It was stuffed, Zahya.
In that case, it's fine, Zahya.
- Who gives a damn?
- It was stuffed with diamonds.
You should've opened with that, Mom!
That's why I thought
he was proposing to me!
Okay, sweetheart. Calm down.
You're right.
I'll tell you everything.
Our wedding wasn't just a wedding.
It was both a wedding and a deal.
The biggest deal
in the history of our family.
The big break we've been cooking
for six months.
The family invested everything
in this one.
It was the last operation
for me and your mom.
It was our farewell match.
It was all for the diamonds.
And the diamonds were in the zucchini.
So, the zucchini was stolen.
Do you think we're idiots?
Gaber!
Put down your gun, Gaber,
or you'll regret it.
Put it down, Golfidan,
or Gaber will regret it.
Put it down, Ebtisam,
or Golfidan will regret it.
Say something else,
because it's egging them on.
Come on, guys. We're family.
Do you think we're idiots?
As if you're not their accomplice.
- Shut up!
- Zahya!
Sorry, Uncle. Really, though.
Shut up, sir.
Can you hang tight for a second
while I debrief Zanaty?
Hello? Yes, Zanaty?
Got it. Okay.
Zanaty cleaned up the weeding.
But one of the goons escaped
with injuries.
He's under guard at Ein El-Gamal hospital.
What? Ein El-Amal!
That's the hospital my son works at.
Khalil?
Khalil.
The kids escaped.
Wait, Khalil. Are we turning in our folks?
They're a mafia.
Haven't you seen the wedding?
I can't turn Mom in.
I'm not that ungrateful.
Tell you what?
You turn my dad in,
and I'll turn your mom in.
- Who's the commanding officer?
- Major Salah.
- I want to report her mother.
- And his father.
That they're criminals and killers
disguised as public servants?
Not only that, sir. They also--
- smuggle diamonds in zucchini.
- How'd you know, sir?
Come on, Zahya.
- How did you know her name, sir?
- We'll get to you, Khilo.
Wow, sir. You're--
You stole your mother's jewelry.
And you, Doctor! You assaulted your father
and put him in a retirement home?
- Me?
- If it wasn't for your honorable parents
"Never say to them 'ugh,'
nor yell at them."
"Rather, address them respectfully."
- But--
- Shut up!
You're despicable!
What are you?
- What?
- Despicable?
- I can't hear you!
- We're despicable.
Fine, you're a good-for-nothing.
- But why would you drag your sister--
- I'm not his sister.
- My sister or not. Who cares?
- In five minutes!
I want you to make peace
with your parents,
and kiss their heads, hands, and feet.
Five minutes. They're honorable people.
- Sir. Ma'am.
- Go ahead, son.
- Would you like a drink?
- I'm fasting, son.
- Excuse me.
- Go ahead, son.
- Are you turning me in, bastard?
- No, please!
- No, don't!
- You're trash.
This isn't how parenting works, and--
- With your flip-flop, Mom?
- You're a wayward daughter.
Repent, Mom. Crime doesn't pay.
Crime paid for your life and education.
Do you really think you got into
med school on your own?
I abducted the head
of the examination committee.
You got into med school
through the humanities track!
Listen. I have a solution.
We can pretend that we saw nothing
at the wedding. It's a win-win.
We'll just keep pretending, Mom.
- We'll start over in Canada with Khalil.
- What? No.
- I'll go to New Zealand if you do.
- What are you talking about?
Before your Canada and New Zealand plans,
can I show you something from the window?
- What?
- Move it!
Move it, sweethearts.
Open it.
See?
Do you think those lowlifes down there
will allow us to live our lives
and travel to Canada and New Zealand?
And if the police believe
that you're not accomplices,
the family won't,
and they'll keep thinking
you stole the diamond zucchini.
- But we didn't steal it.
- Nor the bchamel zucchini?
Then let's prove that we didn't.
The last goon is in your hospital.
- We'll need you.
- I'll make sure he's treated well.
Interrogate him.
Find out who stole the zucchini
from the wedding.
Why should I do?
Why don't you do it instead?
You're a doctor in that hospital,
and you're supposed to be there.
- I can go with you.
- Shut up! Go where?
Seriously? I'm sending my son.
Are you already acting like a stepmom?
What will you do to him later?
Are you going to torture him?
What's gotten Come over here.
What's gotten into you, Sedqy?
Watch your mouth.
Khalil is like a son to me.
No, Mom. He's not your son.
Keep it simple, please.
What the hell is our plan?
Enough!
You'll go together.
Psst! Come over here, Zahya.
You look good. It suits you
more than the dress at the wedding.
Listen. Fox's room
is at the end of the corridor.
I'll stall everyone here,
while you take the food tray to him.
- We'll meet later. Don't worry.
- Khalil, wait.
You do know
that we might die today, right?
We may never see each other again.
- That's why I want you to keep this.
- What is this?
It's a pendant I bought when I was a kid.
I have the other half. I want you to--
It's the truck drivers' flip-flop
which returns to its other half at home.
A flip-flop?
It's half a heart.
Do you know what a heart is, Doctor?
Zahya, show me your hand.
Let's put an end to this.
Zahya, we're like siblings,
or based on this outfit, a sister.
Besides, I'm not staying.
I have an immigration interview
on the 15th.
As long as we survive this, you can--
Atiyat!
Look at me, Atiyat.
I need to tell you something.
- Did you know I resigned?
- Really?
I'll start tomorrow
at the Kuwaiti-Icelandic hospital.
- Kuwaiti-Icelandic?
- Yeah.
So you're getting paid by both.
Salary is in dinars,
and bonuses are in euros.
- I need you with me.
- Do you get meals too?
Come with me?
What are you even doing here?
- Good day, soldier.
- Good day.
Good morning. How are you today?
What's today? Where am I?
- At a hospital.
- Who brought me here?
A do-gooder. Come on, get up.
- It was only two bullets.
- Two bullets?
Tell me.
Isn't anyone worried about you?
- Your mother.
- May she rest in peace.
- Your father.
- May he rest in peace.
- Your girlfriend?
- Don't remind me.
That only leaves your co-workers.
- What's this?
- What?
I'll tell you everything.
This rice is too salty.
That's a relief.
I thought you recognized me.
You look familiar!
- Khalil!
- Get in!
And close the door.
Welcome. Didn't you have enough
at the wedding?
- You think your brother will help?
- He's not my brother!
Do you think I care about her?
Kill her if you want to, but then what?
Will you jump down to the warehouse?
Then what?
Will you hide in the vents,
and escape in the night?
Then what?
Will you go to Libya by boat,
and start over? Then what?
Shut up! Even I like that plan!
Mr. Fox, just tell who you're working for,
and no harm will come to you.
Harm? You're in for a world of hurt.
I'm Fox, bro.
Do you know what foxes are famous for?
Cunning. You're screwed.
I'm ranked 6th in taekwondo.
Really, Khalil?
A man wouldn't lay a hand on a woman.
Fox!
- Or a leg.
- Come to Fox, Mr. Taekwondo.
- Ranked 6th in Taekwondo?
- Actually, 7th!
I'm sorry.
I heard my knee pop
when he tackled me, doctor.
Not sure if it's ACL or a meniscus tear.
You shouldn't have dribbled.
Khalil!
I keep getting
this weird headache sometimes, doctor.
I told you. I'm Fox.
My face!
Bravo, Zahya!
- What did you spray him with?
- This.
- Anesthetic? Damn you!
- I'm sorry. Don't--
Shut up! We're doomed!
Come over here, Mr. Taekwondo.
Finally?
Why haven't you done this earlier?
I told you. 7th Taekwondo.
- That's Judo.
- Still 7th.
What's this? The new hamburger?
Fantastic!
Give me two with extra mustard.
- That's
- Samir Ghanem.
Don't change the subject.
Give me one.
- Pull it, Zahya.
- I'm pulling.
Didn't I tell you that I'm cunning?
Oops.
Colonel Mahyob El-Tala.
- I'll tell you everything, sir.
- Shh!
As you ordered, sir.
Sit down, son.
Good morning, sir.
- Who was in there, soldier?
- Colonel Mahyob El-Tala.
- Mahyob who?
- El-Tala.
We've received a tip
about a drug deal for diamonds
at this wedding.
Therefore, we planted our forces here,
and here
Please move the saltshaker.
and here.
Until they attacked.
- Did you know about the zucchini?
- Great.
- What zucchini?
- With diamonds.
The wedding exchange.
I know every little thing.
Besides, I'm asking the questions here!
- You'll cooperate with us.
- What will you do to our parents?
If you cooperate,
according to Article 512
of the Penal Code,
which distinguishes
between the Law of Civil Status
and the Law of Personal Status.
We'll cut them a deal.
What deal, sir? They're drug dealers.
They'll be executed.
That's probable.
But it'll be a suspended sentence.
What if we don't cooperate with you?
Then you'll be trialed.
Have you forgotten that
you impersonated a doctor and a nurse?
She's not a nurse, but I'm a doctor.
I can't go to prison.
No one wants to marry a convict.
Unless he's in the same boat,
and his father is a criminal.
Huh?
- What do we have to do?
- Great, doctor.
I like smart people.
Your task is simple.
Monitor your parents like so.
Tell me everything they do.
What? Don't you have
anything better to do?
I have an embassy interview on the 15th.
Great. That's my specialty.
One moment.
Good morning, Mr. Mohammed.
I'm sorry if I woke you up.
Log into the Canadian embassy server.
He's a friend called
- Khalil Sedqy.
- Khalil Sedqy.
Change it from the 15th to the 20th.
- Add me, please. Zahya Abu El-Zawahef.
- Settle down.
Thanks, man. Have a good day. Bye.
Done.
I used my influence
to get a hold of Fox's phone.
Now I know everything,
and who he works for.
Who's the man behind Fox?
You mean the woman.
Kabayer.
What reminded her of us?
Why would she attack us?
Fine.
We're travelling tomorrow.
We'll handle this ourselves.
You'll get back to your lives.
Your Mom and I will handle it.
No, you can't
I can't leave you alone, Dad.
- Not in these circumstances.
- Seriously?
You played ping pong with your friends
after my appendectomy.
We need to learn the ropes too.
It's decided.
Forget this line of work.
How are we supposed to live
knowing that our whole lives
were built on crimes?
Every penny was from crime?
- Settle down.
- No, mother.
- No, Uncle.
- That's enough.
We're past redemption.
There's no going back now.
- Crime doesn't--
- Enough, Zahya.
Well done.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Listen, Sedqy.
- Yes, honey?
We'd better take them with us,
so we can monitor them.
I don't trust the family with them.
Besides, aren't we doing this
for them anyway?
I get it.
Two birds with one stone.
We'll teach Kabayer a lesson,
and have a honeymoon.
Honey.
- What?
- Nothing.
- Your beard, Sedqy.
- I'm sorry.
Mom, do this.
How's this, Khalil?
We're not filming a romance here.
- We're on a stake-out.
- Leave them be.
Can't anyone be happy?
That's enough out of you.
Your Mom's pink is visible from space.
We got to get into Kabayer's palace.
Back in the day,
she was the ashiest person I knew.
Now, she lives in a palace.
May you rest in peace, Samson.
- Samson who?
- The bravest strongman.
She married him and took his money.
No one knows where he is now.
She's been remarrying ever since.
Ever since?
Lucky her.
How will we get in?
It's as guarded as Hacienda Bay.
I'll make some calls.
- Let's roll.
- Great.
- Hold this.
- How? I'll hold on to you.
Do you want me to fall?
This way, kids. Welcome.
I understand. I'll do something.
Get in, honey.
Listen, Khilo.
Take Zahya for a walk along the Nile.
- I'd love to!
- Why?
Between you and me,
we haven't had a private moment
since the wedding.
What?
We haven't had a private moment
since the wedding.
Talk normally, Dad. I can't--
I said we haven't had a private moment
since the wedding
for one damn minute!
- If you know what I mean!
- Okay, Dad. I heard.
- Okay, but be quick.
- Three to four hours--
Four hours?
For the love of God!
Are you even capable of that?
Okay.
You. Let's sit along the Nile.
In this weather?
- She doesn't want to!
- Get back here!
Let's go.
Listen, do as I told you.
Be hard to get.
Mom, could you stick to "planning"?
They kids are going to "plan"!
Oh, la la!
It's 4:00 p.m.
The waves are chasing one another,
and hugging each other as lovers
or as one madly in love.
- And as the sun--
- What's all this nonsense?
What are you doing?
I'm sorry, Khalil.
I like recording my feelings.
You know, Khalil?
Our kids will enjoy our story.
Whose kids?
- Each of us from separate marriages.
- Yeah, be clearer.
You're such a narcissist.
The world doesn't revolve around you.
Let's stick to the mission, Zahya.
What mission?
Our parents are "planning" in there.
Keep it down, Zahya.
Don't say that about Dad.
Tell me, Khalil.
- Do you love Romaisaa?
- No.
- Weren't you getting married?
- Because I like her points.
Her points?
Is that a euphemism for something?
No, liking her points means
I applied for immigration to Canada.
They have a point system.
I'll earn points if I'm married.
If my spouse is highly educated,
I earn points.
She had perfect points.
How many points do I get?
Zero. No, that's unfair. Two zeros.
Two zeros are fair.
Thanks, Khalil. Thanks a lot.
I feel cold.
I wish I had brought a bigger jacket.
- How inconsiderate can you be?
- What the hell?
- Don't you see how cold I am?
- Can't you say so?
- Do I have to ask?
- Am I supposed to read your mind?
Yes! Be considerate!
Haven't you seen Ahmed Dawood
and Ola Rushdi's relationship?
Dear Lord!
Based on the information from Dodo,
my man on the scene,
I learned that Kabayer needs a maid.
It's called a housekeeper, by the way.
If we send a girl to act as a maid--
It's called a housekeeper.
All we need is a young woman we trust.
Someone unknown.
We'll send her as a servant--
It's called a damned housekeeper.
Why don't you go to her
as the damned housekeeper, Zahya?
Me? Why not Khalil?
They need a woman.
Disguise yourself then.
I didn't want to ask you to do that,
but it's the only solution.
You're our only hope.
- But I'm--
- Don't worry, Zahya.
- I won't let go alone.
- Really, Khalil?
We'll communicate through earbuds.
Call me whenever. I'll stay up late.
Listen carefully, Zahya.
This is a wireless earbud.
Hide it under your headscarf.
They'll kill you if they see it.
- Take care, Zahya.
- Don't worry, Khalil.
Take care of the earbud.
It's my personal pair.
If you lose one,
they won't give me a replacement.
Yeah, I understand.
This is an anesthetic syringe,
in case you need it.
This box contains a pill
- How can you be this beautiful?
- What?
I mean you have a beautiful mind,
and hair, and all.
Focus. This is a cyanide pill.
If you get caught, swallow it.
- Will it help me withstand torture?
- You won't get to that.
You'll die instantly.
Dodo is here.
Take care of yourself, sweetheart.
- Until we meet again.
- Until we meet again.
- Bye, Khalil.
- Bye.
Khalil, I made you these sandwiches.
Pastrami with eggs. You'll get hungry,
and they'll be busy "planning."
- Thanks, Zahya.
- You're welcome.
Bye.
Get back here.
Are you tipping me? What is this?
Zahya, I told you I'm not taking this.
Give it to your mother.
Goodbye, sweetheart.
Let's continue our "planning," Sedqy.
Enough! Are you even capable
of all this "planning"?
- We didn't get to "plan" well yesterday.
- What?
- We didn't get to "plan" well yesterday.
- Speak clearly.
We didn't get to "plan" well yesterday!
If you know what I mean. Is that better?
Yes, Dad. I heard you.
I wish I wasn't born a man.
Let's go, Sedqy.
I don't know if I can "plan"
after he ruined the mood.
This guy
The hell is wrong with him?
- What's happening?
- Shh!
A moment of silence
to honor her late husband.
May Allah rest his soul.
May Allah rest his soul.
Ma'am.
My condolences.
This is the maid you asked for.
He means I'm the housekeeper, ma'am.
- She'd better not be like Hanan.
- Not at all.
She just wants to make a living.
- What's your name, girl?
- Semha.
- What?
- Semha.
Have you done this before, girl?
Of course, ma'am.
I worked in houses of ambassadors,
ministers, and influencers.
And in Somaya El-Khashab's home,
and many others.
You can leave.
Come over here, girl.
Have you seen your room?
- It's beautiful.
- Have you seen my rooms?
Studded with diamonds and gold
and everything else.
I don't hide those things.
Listen, girl. You'd better not
touch any of those.
I'll cut your whole arm.
I'm honest, ma'am.
Mrs. Somaya's jewelry
wouldn't even phase me.
Okay then. Clean this handrail.
And this whole corridor runner--
- Get back here, girl!
- Who was cleaning this house? It's--
Oh my God!
Oh, come on. Damn you.
We barely got it to close.
- Who's he?
- My late husband.
The moment of silence guy?
No, this is the previous one.
The other one is in the attic.
What did he do to you?
He flirted with Hanan the maid.
After I married him
and made a man out of him.
He married Kabayer, the boss.
- Do you see this glass?
- Yes.
- I want it to shine.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Can you see it?
- Yes.
Dust and mop under those sofas.
Then I'll head to the kitchen,
then to the basement
to search to clean it.
Did I say the basement?
Did I mention the basement? Girl!
Don't you ever set foot in there.
I'll cut your whole leg.
What basement?
Basements wouldn't even phase me.
Stop wasting time!
That's Hanan for sure.
She wasn't a professional.
Her cleaning speaks for itself.
I'll be gone for two hours.
I want the whole house
to shine like diamonds.
- Do you know what diamonds are, girl?
- Of course.
What about
Don't worry. They'll take care of them.
I'm not worried at all.
Corpses wouldn't even phase me.
Cut it out, girl!
What's wrong with you?
O fisherman
Where have you cast your net?
This bait isn't doing the trick.
Do your job.
Zahya. Shoo!
- Yes, Zahya?
- Help me Mr. Khalil.
She killed the previous maid
for flirting with her husband.
What's this?
Who's this? Let me talk to Zahya.
What, Khalil? I'm acting like a maid.
Zahya? No, this is awful.
Is this what you've been doing?
How haven't they caught you?
- She's convinced.
- It's a matter of time.
Before she kills you.
I'm worried about you.
Have you eaten the sandwiches?
- I did.
- Which type did you like best?
They're both fine. Where's Kabayer now?
Sambo said She's compensating the families
of her last operation's fallen.
- Who's that?
- The thug who buys groceries.
He's fun.
He said they lost lots of men
in a wedding attack.
It must be our wedding. Anything else?
He said she's been depressed
since she killed her husband.
- That proves what Metemed said.
- Who's that?
The sniper. We're close friends now.
He said that Kabayer yearns
for a tough husband.
She keeps killing her loving husbands.
Khalil, I'll tell you something,
but don't be mad.
- Shoot.
- I feel like Metemed likes me.
And what do you think?
If I wasn't here, he's not my type,
but if this is my life now,
he's my only option.
Type, Zahya? I'm asking
about our predicament!
You haven't discovered anything yet.
Figure out where she hides her stuff.
For God's sake!
We need information, not a date!
You're just hangry.
I'm not hangry. You're just stupid.
Have you eaten the pastrami?
I ate it!
- Was it delicious?
- I swear it was!
Why are you yelling?
I've been cleaning all day.
I searched everywhere but the basement,
- but I can't go there.
- Why not?
Because she told me not to.
You imbecile.
That means she hid the diamonds there.
- Go before she comes back.
- Okay.
Stay with me.
Network coverage is weak here.
Hurry up before that happens.
Will you mourn me if I die?
Is this really a good time?
I'll mourn. Happy?
Okay, please don't yell at me.
I'm terrified.
There's a sleeping guard,
and a strange door,
but there are keys.
I don't understand. Take a picture.
Oh my God! The camera flash woke him up.
Why did you even use the flash?
Hide somewhere.
- Get the syringe.
- Is it for me or him?
I meant prepare it, Zahya.
Khalil, he's gone.
- Should follow him and I inject it?
- Why? He's already gone.
Just get in. She's so stupid.
Khalil, can you hear me?
Hello? I can't hear you.
I walked into what looks like a prison.
- I'm scared. I'm leaving.
- Kabayer!
Zahya.
Oh, no.
What fresh hell is this?
What?
A bride and her groom.
Your son is horrible.
You're partying while your daughter
is dying at Kabayer's?
Is that a good enough reason
to turn off the music?
Don't say that.
What happened to my daughter?
My daughter!
I'll plead with Kabayer
and give her all the diamonds,
as long as she spares my daughter!
Calm down, Bosaina.
Kabayer knows how we both look like.
Fine. Let's send Khalil.
She's into young men.
He's a good-looking guy
who can seduce her.
No way. She'll destroy him.
Oh, yeah? I sent my daughter.
- Yes, but this is different.
- Indeed.
It is different. I want a divorce.
- This isn't a good time for--
- Enough!
I'll go.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Stay back!
Don't
I'm warning you. Don't come closer.
What's your crime? Homicide or theft?
Homicide? Who are you?
- I'm Samson.
- Kabayer's husband?
My Kabayer?
Is she here? Is she with us in Tora?
Wait a minute.
Do you think that this is Tora Prison?
Come. I want to show you something.
Come on. Have a seat.
See?
I've been digging this tunnel for years,
with this fork, so that I can escape.
You're very close. Well done.
Thank God! Take this.
There are two of us now. Dig with me.
I can finally get back to my love. Kabora.
Poor guy. You're too far gone.
Mr. Samson.
Brace yourself
for what I'm about to tell you.
Where's Kabayer?
Easy.
This is an 11,000 pounds jacket, losers.
Who's he supposed to be?
Joe Ahmady.
AUC's ex-strongman.
You must've heard of me.
I'm currently handling
Palm Hills and New Giza.
Everything to the left of Juhayna Square.
You're a strongman, boy?
Your security detail is terrible.
You have to change them.
They let me through with weapons.
I get kickbacks for any wedding
from El-Gouna to Sahl Hasheesh
before the bride even throws the bouquet.
- IQOS?
- I don't smoke cigarette butts.
What do you want, Mr. Weddings' Strongman?
Nothing, but you do.
Kabayer,
I launched the first thug-hailing app
in Egypt.
Baltagny.
- What?
- Baltagny.
You download it. Add your Visa card.
Request a thug.
They'll do the deed.
Then you give them a rating
out of five. It's a win-win.
All of Egypt's thugs signed up but you.
Ashmony, Singary, Sameh Zinga,
and everyone.
- Did Barqoqy sign up?
- Yes.
- Did Barshomy sign up?
- It wasn't easy, but he did.
Are you gaslighting me?
Do you think Kabayer, the boss,
the one who men live and die by her word,
would work with a mama's boy like you?
Get over here.
Come up here.
You're doomed.
You walked into the bear's cage.
I'll handle him.
He's exclusively mine.
Kabayer yearns for a tough husband.
She keeps killing her loving husbands.
Did that not work?
Damn you, Zahya.
Leave us.
Is that the best you can do, boy?
Is that the best you can do?
Is that the best you can do?
Is that the best you can do?
Is that the best you can do?
What?
Where were you all these years?
Sadly, this is my last voice note.
If anyone ever finds this phone
after I'm gone,
please transcribe my voice notes.
And produce a movie about my life.
Call it, "The Spinster"
I want Yasmine Sabri to play me.
If my life's story ever becomes a movie,
it'll be called,
Kabayer's and the Smitten Man.
Will you ever rescue me, Khalil?
Or am I never going to find the one?
You said you yearned for my release,
while I'm in your basement?
Be glad. Corpses fall out
of cupboards over here.
No, that can't be me.
We must escape.
How? The keys are on the outside.
Where's the syringe?
Where are the keys?
There it is.
What? Let me go, lunatic!
Let me Let
You know something?
All the men I met in my life
are in one league,
and you're in a league of your own.
I haven't seen real men in ages.
Neither have I.
What's this?
Is this onion mint flavor?
I'm sorry if I was a little
too rough with you.
Between you and me,
I've been in a bad mood lately.
I lost most of my trusted men
in a useless operation.
The Dokki wedding.
How did you know?
- What does my man want for dinner?
- Go make me a cappuccino!
Right away.
- Skimmed milk.
- Who?
- Decaf, Kabayer!
- Where do I get that?
This is fun.
Oh, no! Zahya!
Get the keys in here. Use your hands.
Someone is coming.
Zahya.
Did you kill him?
You killed the reason for my being.
Why?
- I was finally a--
- Shadya, don't be dramatic. I'm fine.
Thank God.
- Fine?
- Yes, the earbud is fine.
- It's a little scratched.
- I'm asking about you, Zahya.
Me?
- Yes.
- Swear.
Isn't he the one who kissed you
during that summer vacation?
Already? Let's go.
What on earth?
Didn't I forbid you to go down
to the basement?
The basement?
I thought you said the bedroom.
I thought it was about privacy.
I'll bury you alive.
- Help me, Khalil.
- Who?
You didn't have to blow my cover too!
- A maid and a mama's boy.
- She's not a maid, but I'm a mama's boy.
You're from the wedding, right?
Such a shame.
I was going to spend
the rest of my life with you.
The rest of what?
The fork I dug a tunnel out of prison
for you with.
I should've dug my way
out of your love, Kabayer.
Mama's boy, help me.
Why did you kill her?
Wait, Kabayer. Don't die yet.
Khalil, we need to talk.
Even though you lied to me,
I forgive you.
You gave me the happiest hour of my life.
Khalil, we need to talk!
Thanks, but if you truly love me,
tell me where diamonds are.
- Khalil, we need to talk right now.
- What?
- What do you want?
- We need to talk.
Right now?
- She's dying.
- Are you yelling at me too?
I'll slap if you don't shut up!
Kabayer, just give me a name
to lead me to the zucchini.
Damn that dastard.
He put me up to stealing the zucchini.
Just tell me a name, Kabayer!
Any name!
Is that the best you can do?
Let's get out of here quick.
- You first.
- You first. Let's go.
I'm not leaving
before you tell me what happened.
- Tell me about the watch.
- It's
It's midnight already,
and you haven't cleaned the cars.
- Get outside.
- Okay, Mr. Khalil.
- Who's Khalil?
- What do they know you by?
- Joe.
- Okay, Mr. John.
Who's John? Move it.
Get a move on!
The cars are covered in dust!
That's Metemed,
the one who's crushing on me.
- Do you need anything from the market?
- Move.
The boss has been killed!
Run!
Help me, Khalil.
We have no time for this.
They'll slaughter us.
I'm injured, Khalil. Go on without me.
Zahya, I'll never forget you.
Are you actually leaving me? Carry me!
Run!
Run! Close it!
Get that thing.
- Stop right there.
- Where are you going, bro?
You could've just carried me.
Give me a break.
What's happening?
- Mom!
- What's going on?
Thank God they're back.
- Did you find the diamonds?
- Shouldn't you make sure we're okay?
Who gives a damn!
Can't you see we're tied up at gunpoint?
Help me, dear. Where's the zucchini?
Not with Kabayer.
It wasn't her idea.
She died before saying whom.
- You killed her?
- Kill her?
It was the happiest hour of her life.
You'll never get this half necklace.
I'll knock you out.
See what happens?
- They're gaslighting us after killing her.
- We're not lying.
Shut up. You've always been a liar.
Remember saying your mom
wasn't next to you when I called.
I told her to say that.
Your calls were never social calls.
- You always wanted something.
- Calm down.
- You're never there when I need you.
- Enough!
Girls, engage!
- No!
- Please, don't kill them!
Kabayer didn't say a word!
She said a dastard put her up to it.
- Dastard?
- Open with that.
You should've said that before!
We almost died!
Is that a name?
I thought she was calling him names.
Didn't he quit our line of work
and call himself Wafaa El-Nil?
Dr. Wafaa El-Nil?
He's always a guest on Radwa El-Sherbiny.
The cute man with a Hani Shakir vibe?
That's an alter ego.
He's an incredibly dangerous man.
He's merciless.
That man enjoys killing
his enemies in the most creative--
Spare us, Mr. Documentary.
What are we supposed to do now?
Untie us, so we can think of a plan.
- Are you going to plan again?
- No, not that kind of planning.
It's a win-win, Gaber.
If they succeed, we'll get our goods back.
And if they lose, they'll get killed.
Untie them then.
Why untie them now
while we have two already untied?
Jeez!
Don't blow my cover.
- Thank God you got my message officer.
- What message?
I sent you a voice note
with all the details.
Who sends a 45-minute voice note?
- See?
- Yes.
A voice note of the plan,
and begging you to free our parents.
I don't take parents freeing requests.
I don't work for you.
I'm fed up with this case.
I beg you. That man is a murderer.
If he suspects us, were doomed.
What are you afraid of?
We're going as a married couple,
fingers crossed,
who are there for a couples-counseling.
Married or divorced, I don't care.
I want the diamonds.
- I just want to go home.
- Freeze!
There are two faces
to the coin of justice.
Don't make me show you the bad one.
Have you forgotten your crimes?
You'd easily get a life sentence.
Right, Doctor? Right, Sister?
- He's coming.
- What?
- Give me money. As if I'm cleaning.
- I have none.
- Figure it out!
- Here.
- I want a 100.
- Move it!
Hey, boss!
The biggest of bosses. Have a seat, boss.
A fancy car fit for a man like you.
Wait, Khalil.
- This might be the last time--
- I won't take half the damned thing.
- So, cut it out.
- This isn't about that.
- I'll give you something else.
- And get stuck it like you?
Khalil, can you not ruin the moment
for once, please?
I'll try.
What's this?
To convince them we're married.
I know there's ill-will,
but fine, I'll take it.
Let me help you.
Go ahead. Put a ring on it.
- Are you paralyzed?
- Let me enjoy the moment for once!
Would it be the end of the world
if you put a ring on my finger?
Give it to me.
You're so cold-hearted.
Zahya, I have a question.
Why did you get my name engraved?
I have many good qualities,
but you never notice them.
- You haven't even seen the tattoo.
- Fine.
No, this hand.
How do you feel?
- That I was unfair to Romaisaa.
- What?
Come on, Zahya. We might die in there,
and your mind is elsewhere.
What am I even doing here?
I'm supposed to be on my way to Canada.
My life has been ruined
since I met you and your mom.
Me, Khalil?
- I ruined your life?
- Yes, you did.
Listen, Zahya.
You're a decent girl.
But I met you at the worst time.
I see you making a huge effort.
I genuinely feel for you.
I want you to direct your efforts
in the right direction.
Because I have
a completely different life planned.
I have a different life planned too.
I don't want you,
even if you were the last man on Earth.
What plans, prick?
You don't deserve me!
Good morning.
Hi. I'm Sarah. How may I help you?
We have marital problems,
and want to book at Dr. Wafaa's
couples-counseling camp.
- Is this your first time here?
- Yes, it is.
Sorry, but all our rooms are--
Move. You must be new here,
and don't know who we are.
Get us a room no matter
if there's a vacancy or not.
I don't give a damn about the rules.
If you get the manager,
I'll humiliate him, you, and my husband.
- Zahya--
- Zip it!
I wasn't going to say that, Ma'am.
We have vacancies,
but without sea or pool views.
What have I done to deserve this?
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.
He ticked me off outside.
See what you made me do?
That's what you all say.
Here are the nails,
and the flower, and the name tag!
- I'm sorry, I'm--
- Didn't she tell you to zip it?
To avoid wrecking your marriage,
your appointment with the doctor
is at 7:00 in his office.
- Why, Zahya? What did she--
- Be quiet!
- The office is right ahead.
- Thanks.
Do you think the diamonds
are in his office?
I don't know.
Let's keep our conversations
about the mission.
Can't be gentle with men. Mom was right.
- What?
- Mind your business.
Why are you here?
- It's the
- We're
Is love's spark fading in your hearts?
Or an accountability
for your relationship?
The fading of the spark
of accountability in the relationship.
- Names?
- Omar and Salma.
Wow. Beautiful names.
What's the issue?
We've been married for five years.
Every year's worse than the one before.
I can't stand it anymore.
She's a failure, doc.
She just wants to get married.
- What?
- Remarry.
She wants to remarry me
every time we get divorced.
I get it now.
You're not Omar.
And you're not Salma.
You're Salma's remnants.
And you're Omar's wreckage.
- Right?
- That's exactly it.
He does that often.
Doctor, he wants to go to Canada
without me or the kids.
I have a future in Canada.
I'm not a loser like you.
You think Canada needs you?
- You're a nobody!
- I'm a nobody, spinster?
- I'm a spinster? You Kab--
- Shut up!
- Are you yelling--
- Shut up!
- But--
- Shut up!
- What this, Mr. Omar?
- See?
Shut up!
- See how you made everyone tense?
- I'm sorry, doctor.
She ticked me off.
Okay, I understand now.
Take a breather and relax.
Now, go to your room.
Please, don't talk to each other
until tomorrow.
- Deal?
- I'll try.
But first, Omar
- Apologize.
- With a kiss.
- Kiss her head.
- I didn't say my head.
Don't push your luck. Move it.
- Excuse us, doctor.
- Please.
- Move it. You'll expose us.
- Easy.
Because of your blabbermouth,
we couldn't search the office,
and we didn't find the diamonds.
You almost called me Kabayer's guy.
First of all, I wasn't.
I was going to say you're a cabaret guy.
Besides, you couldn't search
for the diamonds because you're a failure.
I thoroughly searched the office
with my eyes.
And what did you find, smartypants?
The letter opener.
Did you even think of approaching it?
- Did you feel it?
- I might stab you with it to shut you up.
You know what?
You wouldn't see the diamonds
if it was in front of you.
- Oh, yeah?
- Have a taste.
- That's gross. Not after you.
- You wish.
Smell it then.
Can you smell the herbs?
And taste the zucchini?
Why would an envelope smell
and taste of zucchini?
Unless the letter opener was too.
Well done.
When you shut up and think,
you do really well.
Didn't I tell you
you wouldn't see the diamonds?
You keep saying that.
You don't mean yourself, do you?
- Of course, no one does that but you.
- I thought so.
Get some sleep, and we'll get
in that office tomorrow.
I'm tired anyway.
If you're tired, I'll sleep on the floor.
Did you think I put that there
to sleep on it? It's for you.
- You're crass.
- Thank you.
- No, thank you.
- Any time.
- Good night.
- Right back at you.
It's 11:00 p.m.
Life takes us through strange paths.
- We were strangers--
- Turn it off and sleep.
- Okay, fine!
- Turn it off and sleep.
Lord, have mercy.
I would've loved to welcome you,
and say, "good day,"
or "a bright sunny day,"
I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Why is that?
Because I realized
that among us
are two traitors.
Traitors of love.
Traitors of devotion.
Traitors of companionship
and happy memories.
Traitors of true love!
Thanks, Omar.
But that's okay.
It doesn't matter.
I want you to know
that there's still hope.
That's why you're here.
To start life anew.
A life of love and devotion.
The first step
is to discard our old selves
along with our past
in life's trash bin.
I want to see personalities.
I can see among you a Romeo and a Juliet.
You're Qays and Layla.
Meteb and Shadia.
You're still Omar and Salma. As you were.
Thank you.
Our first segment is,
"Hearts remote control needs a battery."
What does it need? A battery.
For instance,
Mrs. Salma.
If you had Omar's remote control,
what would its buttons be?
Rewind for the sweet moments.
Slow motion for our feelings.
Stop for coldheartedness
and criticism and logic.
- Mr. Omar--
- Mute. That's it.
That's what they're good at.
- They just want to silence us.
- It wouldn't even work on you.
- You need to be nuked.
- Right back at you!
This isn't appropriate.
Let's keep it civil.
Please stay calm.
The key! Go get it.
- Or shall I?
- Yes, go.
- I can't just reach into his pocket.
- I can't either.
Just go. Go, please.
Let's not call each other names.
Please, for my sake.
It's inappropriate.
Please, guys. Let's be civil. We're
Why are you here?
- I swear I'm--
- Your heart brought you here, Omar.
To help me save these people
from falling into hatred.
Come on.
- No, don't hit each other, please.
- No hatred.
Gaber!
I'll tell him. One moment, please.
- Please.
- He's coming.
- What, Sedqy?
- Listen, Gaber.
The kids are at Dastard,
and Ebtisam and Golfidan are in HQ.
I haven't been alone with my wife
since the wedding.
- I swear--
- Have you lost your mind?
- What do you want?
- Why are yelling?
You owe me.
- Remember the lupine girl that you--
- Okay, Sedqy. Fine.
Remember the one I killed
because she ignored--
I beg you. Please, stop.
- Remember the guys in the ruins that--
- Enough, Sedqy!
This is different! I swear!
It's different, huh?
You know when you eat a tasty meal?
There are always some crumbs left.
Some throw it away.
Those aren't the real foodies.
Because the crumbs
are the best part of the meal.
That's why I'll make sure
you lick your plates.
Today's segment is, "eat the feast,
leave no crumbs in the least."
Each of you has a paper.
Write all the sweet crumbs in each of you.
You have ten minutes
before I collect the papers.
List all your crumbs, guys.
Zahya.
- Stop, or I'll call the doctor.
- What doctor, stupid?
Someone just left with Wafaa.
Something is going on. I'll follow them.
- Perhaps this is about the diamonds.
- Okay.
This is the unidentified object
we've found roaming, boss.
Dear lord! What's all this?
Keep him here for a bit.
Doctor, I followed you all this way
because I have a question.
- Shoot.
- The paper has no space for a name.
How will you know it's mine?
Are there no stickers or seat numbers?
Do you think I'm a fool
to believe your nonsense?
I know what you're running from.
I swear I'm--
You're running away
from your problems, Salma.
We don't do that here.
We face our problems
and solve them. Got it?
Go ahead, ma'am. Let's go.
- Are you okay?
- Yes, thank God!
- Thank you.
- For which favor?
Put down your pens.
Time's up.
Drop your pen, buddy. I can see you.
Let's begin with
My man, Omar.
Tell us about Mrs. Salma's crumbs.
That's inappropriate.
What are you talking about?
We've just talked about that.
- Oh, you mean what I wrote.
- Yes.
- I didn't have time to--
- No, Omar. Your crumbs are done.
Yeah, right.
- What I love about Salma--
- No.
Be a good boy and read out loud. Come on.
What I love about Salma.
By, Omar Hosny.
I love her elegance and brace--
- Her grace.
- And her grace.
I love her colors, style,
and her accessories.
The scent
of the Victoria's Secret body lotion
that she rubs before beds.
I love that she rocks
any outfit she wears,
just like Poussy Chalabi.
- Thanks, Mr. Omar. We--
- And I love
I love her simplicity.
That she always believes
everything is fine,
even though it never is.
I love it when she's mad at me,
and walks away,
then comes back
as if nothing ever happened.
I love her cheese sandwiches.
But the pastrami is horrible.
I love her incredible persistence
to make our relationship work.
And that she feels safe with me.
Even though it's the other way around.
I love that I'm better in her eyes.
I don't know why she puts up with me
despite my actions.
Did something happen?
I brought it on myself by helping you.
You sure did.
- I owe you one.
- Stay away.
Sorry, Gaber. We had to
so we can save the kids.
- Untie me then.
- Zip it.
I want you to take off your rings.
Forget you're married.
Today, you are lovers on a date.
Each of you is taking his date for dinner.
Take them off. Why are you distracted?
Listen. Your wives are coming.
Treat them as if they're not your wives.
They're women you're meeting
for the first time.
- What's this dress?
- Is it ugly?
- It's stunning.
- Say it then!
- Is that too much?
- I said it's stunning.
- Not with a poker face.
- Don't push me, Zahya.
I don't know what
got into me this morning.
No, don't take it back.
So, I'm not two zeros?
No, I exaggerated, honestly.
A zero is fair.
So, Salma. Have you seen the diamond?
No, I swear I haven't
that you nearly lost?
And you.
Have you seen the peridot you nearly lost?
- What's a peridot?
- A gemstone like diamonds.
- What do you mean it's revealing?
- Excuse me. I'll see to this.
I don't care about others.
I'm a traditional man.
- He forgot the key.
- Once in a lifetime chance.
Wait!
Mrs. Wafaa, please.
Let's not resort to name-calling.
She's the kids' grandmother.
Open it. We'll do that later.
Put it back.
Dr. Wafaa. You forgot your phone and keys.
Thanks, Omar.
I wanted to ask about something.
How's the remote control?
Yes.
Is the battery charged?
Or does it need biting?
- What are you saying, doc?
- Listen.
I cleared the beach for you.
It's dark and perfect.
Take your wife there and have fun, okay?
- You know she's my wife, right?
- I'm just trying to help. Go no.
- Yay!
- Shh! Quiet.
Let's go.
Check every nook and cranny
for the diamonds.
What are you doing?
I wanted this chair
since the first time I saw it.
We should buy one.
Don't get mad, please.
You liked the lovey-dovey Khalil
from this morning, huh?
- I'm sorry.
- Look for the diamonds!
Okay.
It's not the end of the world.
It's just a picture.
Zahya?
Zahya.
This isn't funny.
- Where's she?
- Khalil.
- Khalil, I'm here!
- What's this?
Zahya! What are you doing down there?
Do you think I meant to? Come get me.
Come on.
Thanks.
- Seems like this is his vault, right?
- A cave.
Khalil, our diamonds.
Help me lift it.
It is our diamonds.
- Not zucchini-flavored.
- It's not ours then.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
Wait. Beggars can't be choosers.
Let's take it.
You fell for it. You're now revealed.
You mean we fell in the sea of longing
and revealed our feelings, right?
No, you fell into my trap,
and your true identities are revealed.
When housekeeping reported
that you don't share the bed,
it seemed strange,
but I didn't dwell on it.
Just like any married couple
facing hurdles.
And when Omar said he loves the smell
of your Victoria's Secret body lotion,
that no man would remember its name,
but I ignored that too.
Maybe he does love you.
But when you took off
your rings at dinner,
and it left no marks,
I knew you're not married.
So I baited you with the keys,
and you took the bait.
But we really aren't married.
She's my mistress.
We're here for a place
that doesn't require
a marriage certificate.
Yes, he tricked me into thinking
he'll marry me.
- That's what I did.
- I have a place for you.
- But give me that first, darling.
- Give it to him.
Thank you so much.
Now, who sent you to rob me?
We sent them.
- The newlyweds?
- Help us, Mom!
Mom? Is she your daughter, Bastilia?
- Bastilia?
- Haven't you told him?
Tell him about what?
Are you trying to get me in trouble?
Shame on you. Have you forgotten
our operations and planning?
- Who else did you plan with, Bastilia?
- Come on, Sedqy.
Freeze.
How did they get past you, fools?
- We were busy with him, boss.
- Officer!
- Our savior is here.
- Don't his cover too!
He might've not been exposed.
You keep doing that.
No, listen,
let's not get the police into this.
I beg you, sir!
I'm an Uber captain, not an officer.
An African guy rode with me
and spoke Swahili with his mate.
He didn't expect that
I'd be half Egyptian, half Congolese.
I speak Swahili fluently.
I heard them talking about diamonds
at the wedding.
I found those two at the hospital
and conned them.
I just wanted a diamond
because I need a fridge to get married.
If my marriage upset all of you,
then screw it.
Wait a minute.
What about my embassy interview
that you postponed to the 20th?
You missed it. I called Sayed,
at the laundromat.
- Would you excuse me for a moment?
- Have at it.
You bastard!
The other face of justice, huh?
You ruined my life!
- Chill.
- Relax, Khalil!
Please, Doctor. Don't hurt us.
We're just getting started.
Khalil and I have nothing to do with this.
I just wanted to get married.
I'll never forget what you did.
I can't thank you enough.
You finally got him to say something.
Let us go, please.
Yeah, I'll let you all go.
To the afterlife.
- You're first.
- No, Dastard!
Zahya is your daughter.
I'm just stalling, Sedqy.
What?
Blood. I'm dying, Zahya.
My life is flashing before my eyes.
Really? Did you see the kiss?
Damn the kiss and the day we met.
Khalil, at first, I liked you
because I just wanted to get married,
but I can't live without you now.
- Khalil, I love you.
- Me too, Zahya.
You too what?
I beg you, I want to hear it
before you die.
I lo--
I lo--
- No!
- You're surrounded. Don't resist.
How could you? He was about to say it!
Did you have to come right now?
We've been under fire for ages!
I was going to cherish it forever!
- Freeze!
- I'm sorry.
I swear, Mom and Dad
Where are they?
I swear I'm an innocent Uber captain, sir.
I just wanted to get married. I'm a moron!
Do you see any blood, Zahya?
Believe it not,
turns out you're hot-blooded.
He'll be fine, hopefully. We confirmed
that you weren't involved.
- But we'll need a statement.
- Okay.
I have a question.
How did you know
although Mahyob wasn't police?
Your cousin called us.
Kazem Abu El-Zawahef.
Kazooma? How naughty!
What?
I'm coming with you, sir.
I'll just tell him something.
Go ahead, Ma'am.
Khalil, take care of yourself.
Take good care of yourself.
Get it?
Bye.
- This way.
- Okay.
I like her points.
Excuse me, sir.
What's all this commotion inside?
Two gangs at war,
but we managed to arrest them.
Oh my god. That's terrible for tourism.
Sedqy, shouldn't we check on the kids?
Don't worry, babe.
We'll be reunited in 15 years.
Why? 15 years?
Barely enough time to plan.
NOT LONG AFTER
It's 11:00 a.m.
The second day of our honeymoon.
I feel strange.
A sense of suffocation overwhelms me.
What's this thing called marriage?
What's this creature called a woman?
It's honey, I was just saying
how much I appreciate you.
Here. Take your phone
because I can't do that thing you do.
Khilo.
I just met a palm-reading lifeguard.
- He's insane!
- What's that?
- He's talented.
- No, he's hitting on you.
- That's nonsense.
- I'm telling you, Zahya.
Never mind then. Tell me, Khilo.
When did you realize you loved me?
- When we first came to your house.
- When?
When my dad proposed to your mom.
What? You've been in love
with me ever since?
- Wasn't it clear?
- What do you mean?
- What?
- You want to give me a stroke?
- What's wrong?
- I'll smack you.
No, don't.
I'm in disbelief.
How insensitive can you be?
- I'll tell you.
- What am I to do?
Stop it, Zahya. I was joking.
- No, you weren't.
- I swear I was joking.
- I'll tell you when.
- Go ahead.
- It was--
- Don't lie!
Okay, it was when we kissed as kids.
- Are you kidding me?
- Wait!
Subtitle translation by: Ibraheem Mohammed