TFW NO GF (2020) Movie Script
1
[typing]
[ominous music]
[Sean]
Everyone my age kind of
just grows up on the internet.
when I think back,
I think about,
like, what bullshit
I was doing on 4chan,
because that's the only...
place that, kind of,
seemed real.
Well, this was
after I dropped out.
I was so depressed and...
just felt so hopeless, that...
I didn't have
the energy to do anything.
I didn't have the energy
to talk to anyone.
Uh...
So in a day I'd get up,
I'd get something to eat.
It really was just,
kind of, sitting in bed
and sometimes watching TV,
but other times,
it was more like...
[somber music]
...I don't know, just kind of,
looking out the window,
just the normal,
really weird depressed shit,
that you find yourself doing
and don't really know why.
And when I...
found myself on, like, 4chan and Twitter and
stuff like that.
I realized that there was,you know, other people
who are,
kind of,
going through the same shit...
and not really knowing what
to do with their lives, or...
if there actually even is
anything to really do
with your life,
if you're... kind of,
disassociated and indifferent
to a lot of things.
I came to realize that I might
be stumbling into something
I find really important.
And it did turn out that way.
[low musical sting]
[fast percussive music]
[newsreader 1]
Something ominous is
happening to men in America.
Everyone who pays
attention knows that.
[newsreader 2]
Many millennialsare still struggling financially
especially when compared
to past generations.
For the first time
in the modern era,
young adults are more likely
to live with their parents,
than with a romantic partner.
[newsreader 3]
In the 18-to 22-year-old category,
those people scored the highest
in terms of loneliness.
[newsreader 4]
Is there indication as to why?
[newsreader 5]
They seem to be alone,
but they are radicalizing
each other in their isolation.
[Trump] Well, I say that
it's a very scary time
for young men in America.
It's a very difficult time.
Our response is, "Sucks
to be you, loser. Unfollow."
You want a friend? Get a gun.
[woman]
This is a part
of a larger movement,
which is about policing,
punishing and persecuting women.
[man]
They call themselves
The Darkest Reaches
of the Internet,
and they're not wrong.
[reporter]
Do we even know
who is this 4chan?
[with distorted voice] 4chan.
4chan.
4chan.
[upbeat music]
[weights thud]
[weights thud]
[weights thud]
[typing]
[newsreader]
Destroy! Die! Attack!
Threats from a gang
of computer hackers calling
themselves Anonymous.
I believe they're
domestic terrorists.
[car explodes]
[newsreader]
Their name comes from
their secret website.
It requires anyone posting on the site to remain
anonymous.
[with distorted voice] They get
laughs. They enjoy doing this.
They get what they call, "LULZ."
[newsreader]
LULZ is a corruption of LOL,
which stands for Laugh Out Loud.
[light dramatic music]
[Sean]
Bored all the time
here in Thornton.
For context, I'm 5'6
and I live in a one-bedroom
apartment with my Mom.
[Sean]
I wouldn't necessarily say
that I prefer the internet
over anything else, it's just...
that's where I felt
most was offered to me,
just in every sense.
In a social sense,
in an educational sense.
It's like a river,
it just does what
it wants with you.
[music continues]
[breathes deeply]
[Sean]
I did all right in school,
like, up until
eighth grade and then I just,
kind of,
stopped caring about it.
I skipped classes pretty
much every single day,
and I got in trouble a lot,
and then I failed ninth grade.
[laughs]
I kind of just
dropped off the map.
I dropped out,
was going through my own shit.
And since then I've just been
a fucking NEET. [chuckles]
[choral music]
[Sean]
I mean, back when
I was using 4chan,
the people my age were like,
dealing with their parents, who were dealing with
the economic crash and stuff like that,
and I was like, "Oh,
my parents are divorced
and the future that was sold
to me is a complete lie."
So it's like, I'm just going
to do nothing instead.
[Sean]
rok is where the most
hopeless and autistic and...
miserable people congregate
to flirt with their despair.
You have a shitty day and then you make
a green text about it
and you can make it as funny
or not funny as you want
and then people will call
you a faggot or whatever, and then they'll join in.
And it sounds bad when you don't
actually take part in it,
but it's actually--
it's some fun when you're
on board, I guess.
You don't feel
like it's a habit.
It just, kind of,
becomes something you do
and you kind of wonder
what you did before.
I mean, this is a very common thing on rok,
where people are saying,
"Alright, today I'm going to kill myself. Do you
guys want to tell me anything?"
And then people will say,
"Uh, yeah, dude, see you later,"
and stuff like that and just
egging them on to do it.
And, I mean, it's funny when it,
kind of, starts out,
but you got to think that,
"Holy shit.
Maybe some of these guys
are actually doing it."
[upbeat music]
[Charels]
It's like a love-hate kind of thing, just--
there's just, like,
nothing else like it.
It's pretty much like
any addiction or anything.
My phone tells me, like, every week that I spent,
like, seven hours a day on it,
so, I've been with--
online so long.
It's just a part of me.
I just tweet my thoughts
as it's happening,
which often are
really bad and negative,
or the reactions kind of give
you a small dopamine rush and--
Yeah, there's not
really much to lose.
Like, I don't
really care in a way.
Any publicity is good publicity.
I'd always, kind of, just got those like,
suicidal thoughts.
A lot of, like,
things risking your life,
like driving really fast or suddenly, like,
closing your eyes,
like, while just
on the accelerator.
Once it starts happening it--
I just don't even think about it.
My head just kind of,
like, clears up,
and my thoughts go away for
a minute, which is relaxing
because you can just mess up in
a second and it'd all be over.
[music continues]
[train horn]
[train rumbling]
[intense rock music]
[people chattering]
Man, it's kind
of messed up around here.
But, you know, it is what it is.
This is our roommate,
it's, uh, Mason.
We go way back, right?
See, alcoholic, NEET,
spergy, awkward, aggressive,
defensive or distant
in conversation.
Torrent most
of your downloads and games.
Have passed the point in your life when having
potential mattered.
Attempted suicide or have
had a mental breakdown.
Sleep over ten hours
a night or less than six.
Overcrowded
or filthy living conditions.
Diagnosed autism,
anxiety or depression.
Masturbate at least once a day.
Less than ten happy memories
in the past year.
Virgin.
Fired from a job or a drop out.
Have been arrested.
Let's see. How many bingos?
That's a bingo.
Oh, that one's close.
[light dramatic music]
Specifically the rule is,
you can't make a post
if anyone's made a post with
the same exact, like, content.
Like, it has to be completely
unique every single time
and an easy way
to have a unique post
was people talking really
frankly about, like,
personal stories
or personal problems,
and that sort of,
set the tone for the community.
Stuff like this.
Really just, like,
an infinite supply of this shit.
It's funny how it worked out,
that, um, Wojak kind of,
remained like an insular
part of the communities.
What's more popular nowadays
is kind of, like,
the permutations of them.
But those always come and go.
He still has
that same lasting power.
[funky techno music]
I usually wake up around noon.
Take a shower,
get dressed and then, um,
just browse Twitter
until Charlie gets home.
And then...
whatever he wants
to do after that.
We both grew up, not just
in the same physical conditions,
but the same digital
conditions. So we--
I think we really understand
each other really well.
[Charels]
And I lived out, like,
in the woods and everything.
There wasn't really
anyone our age around.
Nowhere to go.
Nothing to do, really.
Our parents were alcoholics,
SO...
-They didn't exactly
have it together, I guess.
-[laughs] No.
[Charels]
We kind of just spent
a lot of time online.
[Viddy]
You know, when you're kind
of trapped like that,
I guess, the internet
definitely opens up
avenues that wouldn't
otherwise be present.
You don't really have friends
in real life and there's people
you can talk to online.
[melancholic music]
[Viddy]
I have a lot of problems just,
like, speaking in general,
like, it's really hard for me
to say much of anything.
I'm pretty quiet, but...
being able to be online
and communicate,
like, my thoughts and feelings
in, sort of,
a more eloquent way, it--
it's sort of liberating.
-[vendor] Thank you.
-[Viddy] Thank you.
[Viddy]
It almost seems
like nobody's here.
[melancholic music]
It's the kind of place where...
it's all just, like--
like, strip malls and industrial places
and empty lots,
burned down buildings and...
None of them seem like
actual places you can go to.
They're--
they're like set pieces.
It's like my background,
but at the same time it's,
like, really beautiful in a way.
[melancholic country music]
A lot of people will
compare and say, like,
"Stuff online versus
stuff in real life."
It-- it is real life.
You can't really
decouple the two anymore.
They're--
they're so intertwined,
especially in
the formative experiences
of people growing up nowadays.
And I feel like...
for kids that are
going to be younger than us.
They won't even understand
the difference between the two.
[Viddy]
Maybe at like
11 or 12 years old,
I somehow stumbled upon 4chan.
That was like a defining moment.
4chan is almost like a zone
completely devoid of rules.
Say whatever you want,
be whatever you want,
do whatever you want.
Just kill every sacred cow.
Just destroy taboos
for the sake of being taboos.
[child]
...shall not be destroyed.
[Viddy]
And I think we just
kind of latched onto that.
But then you also really
get into some of the,
like, more dark sides
of just, sort of,
human behavior.
[chuckles] A 12 year old should
not probably be exposed
to a constant onslaught of,
like, gore and extreme pornography.
It does kind
of harden you in a way.
[cocks gun]
Just an A-K. It's very classic.
A Mac 11 and 9 millimeter,
which is--
Actually got this
off of a person who was
selling it on Twitter.
It's just a cheap AR-15 Lower,
but it's got a, uh,
M16A2, like, parts kit on it
and a Cobray 37-millimeter
flare launcher.
Well, it just looks cool.
[chuckles]
If any e-girls are looking
to be emotionally manipulated
and/or sexually abused,
my DMs are, in fact, open right now.
More, like, depressing or,
like misogynistic,
or something there,
they do better.
[Viddy]
I think for a while,
he was, like,
the incel mascot on Twitter,
pretty much.
I think his account got
locked for a couple of these.
I don't think I would consider
myself actually a misogynist.
It's just kind of, like,
trolling and everything, just--
A lot of chicks are actually
into it, which is funny.
There had always been
the long history of...
using online to, sort of,
get one over on, like,
the real world is a joke, like.
-[Charels] I think--
-Where the irony ends and the sincerity begins,
it's almost obscured on purpose,
like, as part of the joke.
-[laughing]
-[Viddy] Let's see Kyle.
He's got really funny stuff.
[Charels]
His cowboy boots or hat
Is always pictured.
-So... let's see.
-[both laugh]
[Viddy]
People like to over blow the--
like, the really edgy stuff,
but then you get, like-- like,
the hilariously heartfelt posts like this.
"All of the treasure in
the world has already been taken.
There's no adventure left."
And the reply to it is, um,
"There's a treasure inside
each and every one of us."
Nobody chose to be in this
culture with this technology,
with--
in their family situation.
They didn't choose to grow up
rich or poor or whatever.
You play the cards you're dealt,
and sometimes
they're not good enough.
Still living
in fucking La La Land.
Little fantasy world
where everything's going
to be A-okay.
Everything's going
to get all better.
Let me tell you
something, buddy.
It's not going to happen, okay?
All right, let's check this out.
I was reading some
threads last night
More Redditors, more underage
kids, more Tumblr...
white knights and shit.
You already know how it is.
They don't know, okay?
They don't get it. [chuckles]
I gotta tell 'em. I gotta--
I gotta school 'em,
right now, I'm afraid.
We're in this dual reality.
So, you know, we're trying
to keep up this facade.
You know, as society's
crumbling around us,
as civilization is collapsing,
we're trying
to keep up this facade,
that this is what--
you know, all the ha--
happy family
and the white picket fence,
but that's not... [chuckles]
that's on its way out,
I'm afraid.
And I don't know what's coming.
It's going to be probably
not very good,
whatever is coming up next.
But women, they-- you know,
they're out there and they're
taking the good stuff, okay?
They're getting the 20s,
"Hot guy, hot guy, hot guy, hot guy, oh, this is great,
hot guy, date a hot guy,
fuck a hot guy," over and over again,
you know, they love it,
because they can just--
they're on Tinder. Hot--
you know, they're
finding the hot guys,
they're fucking em.
And you're sitting here
to yourself,
"Oh, if I'd just hit
a new PR on my bench.
If I'd just buy that new suit,
if I'd just," you know,
you're playing catch-up,
you're trying to catch up and
you're trying to be something,
but you... [chuckles]
you've already lost.
You've already failed,
you know what I mean?
[somber music]
[engine starts]
[muffled gentle music]
[music plays]
Oh, I've got heartaches
by the number
Troubles by the score
Every day you love me less
[blues music]
[beeping]
[Kyle]
I don't know what the average
person is looking forward to.
Maybe they got plans,
[-- I don't know.
I was a real fucking bastard
when I was a little kid, man.
I remember, uh,
I'd go to school and,
like, some classes were taught,
like, half in Spanish,
which, it was fucking insane.
I didn't speak Spanish,
but, you know, it-- I mean,
it was fucking El Paso,
pretty much everyone there does.
I-- I used to hide
in the garage, like...
you know, I'd just fucking
sit in there with my--
whatever the goddamn
video game was back then.
I mean,
I remember being pulled out,
I remember the day,
but after that...
I just remember she said
we were going to homeschool. It didn't work.
We pretty much everyone
just gave up on it.
I just talk to people
on there, really.
Make dumb posts.
Just whatever comes to mind.
Just good to...
[sighs] It's good
to talk to people.
and it's not ideal, but...
it's better
than nothing I guess.
Like a lot of--
a lot of the guys
on-- on that side
of Twitter, like,
they talk about being lonely.
But they also talk about, like,
you know,
hating being around people.
One, two, three!
[all]
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday...
[Kyle]
What's making these people
the way they are?
These young men.
You can't just--
Like, I can't just put it
into a sentence, you know?
I don't even know what it is.
It's just...
everything that's happening.
I can see a police car
all the way from out here.
You see those
red and blue lights...
flashing?
[somber music]
I mean, I don't know not--
not the people I know,
but anyone that's lonely
and angry like that.
It's completely possible that
they'll-- they'll do something,
something they shouldn't,
in the end.
I-- I knew four people
that I was really close with.
I had one friend,
two years ago now, I think,
and he OD'd.
And then I had another one.
Yeah, this was just
a couple months ago.
He just fucking
gunned it into a wall,
In his car and he died, he--
he split his head open.
He was dead.
And...
there was another one
that just happened.
I don't want to talk about that.
I mean... that was like
my last... friend.
I mean, I've always felt lonely,
but now I'm really...
really alone, you know?
[mariachi music]
[singing in Spanish]
I'm tired of just wallowing
with a bunch
of other miserable fucking guys.
What's the point?
There's no point.
You...
you can either try
and get your shit together or you'll-- you'll
fucking die. You'll waste away.
The day
[Kyle]
It seems like,
even before, I had it better,
you know?
Had more to work for.
Noone...
[Kyle]
I mean, my parents
are well into their 50s
and they don't own a house
or a car or anything
and that's just kind of fucked
up to me. It's like--
You can't-- it's hard--you just can't do anything
NOW.
[music continues]
It's harder to build a life.
Promise to sail with me
to Mexico
If to your open window I...
[Kyle]
I think, "Shit, where am
I going to be in 20 years?"
Tell me she'll wait
for my deepest love
This dream
[Kyle]
I don't know I gotta get
my shit together, I gotta--
I gotta work on my education.
I need to...
Yeah, I need t--
I need to, you know,
set myself up for my future.
[song continues]
Oh, my darling, I pray
That you love me forever
And go with me
Oh, my beloved
Down to Mexico
-I didn't vote.
I don't believe in democracy.
-Okay.
You know, I believe in Thule,
the ancient city,
and raising Thule.
And I think that Trump
Is the candidate who's
going to raise Thule
and Atlantis.
I believe in global cooling.
Cooling the Earth. The sea low--
the sea level is lowering,
and I believe in land raising
from the bottom of the ocean
with ancient ruins on it,
like the ruins of Thule,
and I believe that Trump's going
to accomplish all of that.
-How?
-He's going to prove
that UFOs exist.
The government has known
about it for a long time.
They've known
that the UFOs are out there
and that they're trying
to communicate with us
and that they have
secrets about the origins
of human consciousness.
Are you familiar with the
philosopher Friedrich Schelling?
He predicted it a long time ago.
Trump is going to make
German idealism real.
-He's going to
complete the system.
-Can someone do that?
-[people chattering]
-He's a German idealist!
-Are you, um,
are you from New York?
-No, I'm not from New York.
Are you-- uh, how old are you?
-l can't say. I can't say.
-You look really young.
Are you--
-I'm eternal.
-Have you been to--
have you been to college?
-You should go.
-I'm not in college.
I just want everyone to know.
Everyone needs to be aware.
Go off the fucking PERC
learning, fine.
-He's a fascist,
that's the most important thing.
-[unintelligible shouting]
-We don't need books!
-The eye convinces the eye!
-Burn the books! Burn the books!
-[laughing]
-We don't need democracy!
-[unintelligible shouting]
[guy]
We are the alt-right, we got--
we got Trump elected.
We got Trump Elected.
Follow me on Twitter.
-Have a great night.
-[woman laughing]
[upbeat music]
[Kant]
I think people are,
like, uncomfortable
not really knowing,
like, what I believe.
And that they want me to be,
like, more sincere
and they're like--
they don't, like, like irony,
they don't like trying to,
like, cloak or, like,
conceal, like,
what you believe or like,
you know, fold into
different layers of meaning.
Some people just aren't clear,
like, interpreting stuff like that,
or, like, can't just like,
appreciate it for what it is.
So, it just, like, bothers them.
Well...
You know, TFW no girlfriend
is just like, it's--That's all it is
it's just a meme.
So, you can't make a movie
about, like, just a meme.
It's that you have
to look below the surface.
Well, there's a, you know,
a dichotomy. You can't talk
about Wojak without
talking about, like, Pepe,
because they-- they go together.
That's the duality of man.
Is that you have the Pepe
and you have the Wojak
and the Pepe is sort of like,
you know, it's your troll self.
It's your, you know,
public persona and it's, like,
you being cocky and he's
saying all this crazy shit,
and being smug and
being ironic and, you know,
getting under people's skins
and, sort of,
being cool about things.
But then on the other half,
we all have the Wojak,
which is like
our private selves,
who, you know,
isn't like that at all.
Who's like, very depressed.
Who feels, like, inadequate.
Who, you know,
can't fulfill his own goals.
Who, you know, has all these
feelings that he can't manage.
This is like what social media
is helping... to create.
It's like the fragmentation
of our-- our personalities.
So, when you go online
and you're trolling you--
you're the Pepe,
but really, inside you're
the Wojak that nobody--
nobody really knows about.
So, we can all become Wojak
in like--
in our moments of desperation.
You know, he represents when
we feel like we're nothing.
[funky music]
[Kant] I didn't know that
anyone would, like, care about,
like, what I have to say.
I-- like, I didn't presume to
think that, like, anyone would.
So, as I went along.
You know, I found out
more and more that like,
what I was saying, like,
resonated with-- with people,
and, like, I mean,
that was surprising to me,
but it wasn't like I was
driven by, like, an anger, at like, what was going
on, it was just more of like, apathy.
It's like tiredness.
-Do they still read
Friedrich Schlegel?
-[shop assistant] I think so!
There's this guy,
Friedrich Schlegel,
and his main,
you know,
the literary form that
he worked in was the aphorism.
So he worked in the fragment.
You know, he only wrote I--
like, a single paragraph at a time.
He just published books of just,
like, one paragraph, or like,
one sentence, like,
observations about things,
like, reviews of books
or something,
and he, you know, founded like,
all modern, like,
literary theory by doing--
and like, that's what like
a tweet is. Just because,
like, a tweet is, like, small...
and seems, like, incidental,
I mean, that's--
doesn't mean that doesn't have
a literary potential in there.
I'm not saying that every tweet
recognizes that potential,
but...
if you're going to be doing
them, like, you should try to,like, elevate it
somehow,
just something like, more interesting, funny, you
know, observant, insightful.
And there is a lot
of potential there.
If you went back to, like,
I don't know, like,
2011 or 2012,
it's like, you know,
I wanted to be a writer.
But you have all these questions
about what are you going to do?
It's like,
you have to go through,
like, the publishing industry
and you have to get, like,
an agent, there's like,
all these...
you know, stipulations where,
you know, I have to kowtow to
other people's opinions or
I have to, like, put on a face
and pretend that like,
I agree, it's like,
you know, I just want to be,
like, controversial and like,
do whatever the fuck
I want to do and like...
I have to find, like,
something else.
I have to find, like,
a different way.
I mean, I don't even think
I like found it.
I think, like, I made it
and like other people made it.
Good evening everyone.
Welcome to the Tekwar podcast.
This is the official podcast
of The Tekwars Fan Network.
Tonight we have
a very special guest.
His name is Egg White.
[Egg White]
I'm glad to be speaking
to such a prestigious
man as yourself, myself.
You have to make the space
that you want in the world,
it's like-- it's not
going to be given to you.
[gentle music]
In a lot of ways I'm not
that close to, like, my family.
So the idea of, like,
belonging to this, like,
little community
and you all work
together and can create,
like, this historical moment,
which can, like,
transcend the limitations
of like, your era.
And then create,
like, a whole new way
of thinking about things.
You can create a whole
new form of consciousness.
And that's what I've, like,
always, you know,
wanted to feel with,
like, other people.
[irl]
You're surrounded
by this negative energy, dude.
[rock music continues]
Yeah, I would identify
as part of a subculture,
but it's very vague,
I guess, where it's just...
a bunch of young guys
who have been raised
with complete...
anonymity, like,
their whole lives,
and they've made some use of it.
A lot of people have
made a lot of use of it,
myself included, uh...
but it's just kind of...
People who are existing
between the cracks.
[gentle techno music]
So, yeah,
it's definitely mostly dudes.
It's like 95% dudes.
Most people on 4chan
are dudes, because it's completely anonymous,
and because you can say
anything you want.
A lot of guys feel pressured to
not say things they think about.
Practically anything
that you could say about
your position as a man is,
kind of, alm-- it's almost
like taboo.
People like,
get angry at you for saying
you have your own trials
and tribulations, as a guy.
It's an outlet, but it's also...
it's also constructive
in a few ways, I think.
People think they want
to see just complete turmoil
at every given opportunity.
They're right to think that it's like,
super toxic and not inviting,
but I think the biggest
misconception is that,
they're doing it
for reasons other than fun.
[Viddy]
What the punks would do,
Is they'd have--
they'd have concerts
and they'd drink
and they'd break shit
and they'd get into fights.
People of this demographic,
they have--
they have the digital world,
SO...
because maybe they can't do
those things in the
physical world.
Sean and me go pretty far back.
He was one of, like,
the first couple of friends I made on-- on Twitter.
Just like regular stuff, like,
both our physical home lives are kind of...
kind of messed up,
I guess, but...
we're both able to see
the way that, like,
this world doesn't
quite understand,
uh, people in our specific
demographic yet.
I mean, that sounds
so corny to say, but...
you know, the rest
of the world doesn't really
care that much about you.
[train rumbling]
[drums music]
[gentle rock music]
[Kant]
I mean, I do feel lonely a lot.
I mean, even though I have,
like,
a lot of people
that I'm friends with,
I have tons of people
I talk to online,
you know, I still wonder,
like, does anyone, like, actually like me?
Like, I have no idea.
You know, are they just saying stuff?
Are they just being nice to me?
Like, you know, does anyone
know who I really am?
You know,
you're surrounded by people,
not to sort of, like,
Increase your sense
of wealthiness,
because, you know,
there's people all around us,
but we're not interacting
with them and I was like,
"Who are they?
Who fucking knows?"
[music continues]
Picture me gone
Picture me gone
picture me gone
Picture me gone
picture me gone
Picture me gone
Picture me gone
[Charels]
Life kind of sucks.
You're just working,
like, kind of bad jobs.
Just, just lonely.
Picture me gone
Picture me gone
Picture me gone
[Kant]
When you're a man it's like,
you just sort of blend in.
Some days, like, the only
people who will talk to you,
is like a cashier or something,
That's what makes you
interaction deaf.
A lot of these incels,
I think kind of feel like,
they could just go along
forever with their lives
and, like,
no one will notice them.
Like, they feel, like,
just completely abandoned.
People used to, like,
graduate from high school
and like, go get a job
or whatever and it's--
you know, things worked out
pretty well for them.
But now that's, like,
impossible,
you know, you have no
experience in anything
and you're from like,
a small town background
and you don't have
any connections.
So, you just end up, like,
back at home and your parents
are like, you know, telling you to go
like, apply at McDonald's
or something because it's better
than you staying at home.
Picture me gone
Picture me gone
And you're trying to, like,
desperately, like, reach out,
to like different people
maybe like online or whatever,
to like try to form connections
that you're just, like,
not being able to form
in the real world,
because like, by all possible measures,
like, you're a failure,
and you're a loser,
and you're like embarrassed
about yourself and what you'redoing. You don't
want to be seen
in public and when you go
out in public, like, people
won't even
fucking talk to you.
You know, it's not like,
a totally crazy experience.
I mean, it's just like,
now, that's like,
part of growing up.
[Charels]
No, I've never had
a girlfriend before.
I'm definitely not good
at talking to them,
or really dealing
with them at all.
[Viddy]
I don't know.
I'm in a predominantly,
sort of,
male sphere on the internet.
So there's not quite
as much of that.
[Charels]
If it happens, it happens.
If it doesn't, it doesn't.
You know, it's--
I don't want to just be in,
like...
a relationship just to be
in a relationship or anything.
I'd want there to be something.
Um, like, it's less that...
like, not having a girlfriend
that's bad and it's more of...
like, just being alienated
from everyone else in general.
Not being close to anybody.
[light somber music]
[Viddy]
I'm not implying that, like,
girls can't be disaffected,
obviously.
But it's so much more prevalent
in, like, nerdy young boys,
I guess, to just be
cast to the wayside.
Like their feelings
aren't really that concerned.
They only really have each
other to rely on, pretty much.
[indistinct chattering]
[Charels]
I think since I was a kid,
I was always, like,
really shy and I guess
my social skills too.
It's like, hard to word it,
exactly what it is.
There's just some, like,
disconnect from, like,
being normal people.
I always had, like, a fantasy of, like,
kind of wanting to live, like,
out in the woods,
build my own house or something,
and kind of just, like,
live off the land,
but that's becoming
less and less realistic
as society advances
and just where my life is going now, but...
-It's good to be
trigger-disciplined and--
-Yeah, yeah.
A lot of people just like,
think their, like,
future is like predefined, like,
at a super early age,
even when it's not,
so they make, like,
terrible decisions, like,
oh, just failing
all your classes,
never going to school
and everything and--
and you just kind of
have to live with those
the rest of your life.
[chuckles] I'm gonna blow up
some slugs, man!
Oh, these dangerous
online people.
Not every person who's posting,
like, an Elliot Rodger meme
online is actually going
to go shoot somebody.
Like, that's not true.
There's the troll aspect
and then there's the people
taking it seriously aspect.
They think, "Okay,
what do people hate most?"
And then they just become that,
because it gets
a reaction every time.
And then some of them forget
that they're playing the character.
The next thing you know,
they end up in like a place like Charlottesville.
Obviously, there are people
that are so disenfranchised,
so alienated,
so demonized in whatever way,
that they feel like
their only choice is
to lash out in whatever
way they can and--
I'm not like,
excusing that or anything,
but do-- what,
that happens for no reason?
Do people, like,
really think that?
[Charels]
They won't even, like...
think about why these people
are doing what they're doing.
They're just so
disconnected from it.
They refuse to even, like,
acknowledge it.
[Viddy]
A lot of these people
that are in these communities,
they feel like they're not
good enough, you know?
They don't have like a--
some kind of
talent or skill,
or something that's,
like, widely respected,
but they're able to go online
and do these things and be
appreciated for what they're doing.
[chuckles]
[Viddy]
There's the--
the mischievous aspects,
but it's definitely
majorly about community.
I mean, it does feel good
to make someone with, like,
100,000 followers look
like a fucking idiot.
That-- that will never change,
but it's not about doing that.
It's about showing your friends
that you did it, right?
The next one will be great.
I promise you.
[rock music]
[gunshots]
[cocks gun]
[gunshots]
[gunshots continue]
[cocks gun]
[gunshots]
[cocks gun]
[gunshots]
[gunshots continue]
[rock music continues]
-[Charels] I think I got
the computer a little.
-[Viddy] Oh, yeah?
[soft music]
[Kyle]
Sure, people just
come here to get drunk.
I respect that.
It's lit.
I mean, the whole
incel thing it's not--
You know, the news
stories about, you know,
"Incels,
they're killing people.
It's just dumb shit like that.
You know, they act like it's
this fucking group that's
conspiring to, I don't know,
hate on women.
And, you know, it's just a bunch
of fucking dudes killing time.
This place is fucked.
You know,
look at misogyny on Twitter.
It's like anything else
on Twitter, fucking,
saying the N-word
or anything else.
It's just funny because it is.
It makes people mad,
and the people that get mad
about fucking tweets
are fucking retards,
so it's funny to make them mad.
It's the same thing with like--
like, people on Twitter.
They're like,
"Oh, fucking SJWs...their PC culture," that--
I feel like that's
just not really real.
I mean, I've never met
anyone like that at all.
It might be different for you
living in fucking Los Angeles,
but I have lived in Texas
pretty much my whole life.
Check that out.
I mean when you came to El Paso,
that was a weird fucking
time for me.
I was-- I mean, you know,
I was going through...
I don't know, I just was
feeling really fucking bad.
I mean...
yeah, I just felt pretty
fucking miserable at the time.
I look back at that and say,
"What the fuck was I doing?"
Like, there's a whole
fucking part of my life
that's just this--
Like, I don't remember being...
[sighs]
... you know, fucking 18,
for instance.
It's just fucking gone.
I mean,
I'm mostly over that now.
I've just started going out more
and doing shit with myself.
I mean, nothing that
really matters, you know,
going out and drinking whatever.
Shit like that.
That just makes it
feel better in general.
Like I said, you know,
makes you feel like you're
an actual fucking person.
Oh, yeah, sure, man.
As long as you're out
of your house you feel
like you're doing something.
I like getting into shit.
Not real trouble,
but yeah, sort of.
[light piano music]
Nightlife offers
a way to forget
But it's only for a while
So when the partners
are all holding
I'll make my way
to this world
I'd like to go some place
and start all over
But I know it can't be done
Run away some place
and start all over
But without you I can't run
Can'trunJ
With laughing people
you will find me
[Kyle]
I still have the fucking scar.
Kind of faded, but...
People like to fuck with me
because I'm big,
and like I said,
I don't just fucking walk away.
I don't-- I don't fucking
take it. I tell 'em
to go fuck themselves
and that pisses 'em off,
because I don't think
people really expect that.
I grew up in El Paso.
That's a Mexican Town.
That's Texas times ten.
They're all about
the fucking machismo, man.
[gentle rock music]
[Kyle]
I don't know. My Twitter
account, it might come across
that I'm, you know,
real fucking miserable.
I'm not.
I mean, sometimes I'll feel like
I'm not going anywhere
in my life and...
that's not really true honestly,
but sometimes
you just feel that way.
Someone, someone's awake
In the city tonight
You gotta do what's right
In the city tonight
Someone's alone
[Kyle]
I think a lot of people
feel fucking isolated
and like there's
nowhere to go in life.
Reach out your hands
to the one below
And, you know,
so they just say, "Fuck it."
and live really poorly,
you know, fucking,
take drugs,
drink all the fucking time,
and just fucking overdose,
or drink themselves to death.
Or just, you know, fucking
kill themselves outright.
[light rock music]
When there's, uh, less going
on for you in the first place,
it's easier to just say,
"Fuck it," you know?
[train rattling]
I mean, people just
want to tell, like,
their stories
about different things.
So I get a lot of messages
there of like
really crazy stuff.
Of like, people telling me these really--
their long stories,
about what's happened
to them in their life
and I get people, like...
messaging me about, like,
their abuse that they've had,
or, you know,
they're in a bad relationship,
or, you know, they don't have
any friends to talk to.
I mean, I don't feel very
qualified to give people advice.
I mostly just tell them to,
you know, I just try and do--
listen to people.
[train rumbles]
But a lot of the time,
I don't know what to say.
So, I think it's important
just to like--
just so people
can talk to somebody.
[light rock music]
[Kant]
So, like I'm not like a--
a player or anything,
or like a ladies man,
like I'm far from it,
but I found like I have
more success with women
as time has gone on,
just because, like, I have more interests in things.
Um, so I can talk about, like,
the books that I like and,
you know...
I find that just women
just like t-- you know,
people who have
their own interests,
and you know,
or their own people.
So...
I can't say that, like, I'm
like the bigger, like, incel, like, anymore.
[dramatic orchestral music]
[Kant]
So, I mean, I do worry
about like, all these--
all these guys because I see
so much potential in them.
And, you know, I know what
they're, like, going through
and what path they're taking
and I want to help them however,
you know, I can to
get beyond all of this
and sort of realize that,
you know, they have the power
to create their own minds.
Someone like Sean, he could be
something, like, really great.
Like, something like incredible.
He could be like
a great novelist,
a great philosopher.
He could be somebody who really,
like, makes a huge
impact on society.
[upbeat music]
[Sean]
So, when I joined Twitter, the guy
that got me really
into reading was KantBot,
and I've pretty much read
everything that he suggested.
People settle for being, like,
the complete nerd who just
reads a bunch of books,
or the bodybuilder who's, like,
ripped where it's just like,
he doesn't care
about anything else.
It's like, like,
"No, motherfucker.
You have to be both." [chuckles]
[music continues]
[Sean]
I work two jobs,
and my mom has cancer,
and it's cold as shit.
I wake up at six a.m.
every morning.
And first thing I do is just
have a small cup of fruit,
drink some water. Then like,
30 minutes later, I'm...
uh, starting squats.
So, I do everything
before I head off to work.
That usually takes about...
[sighs]
...an hour fifteen,
an hour and a half.
Like, a lot of people
are just starting lifting.
They're asking me for advice.
It's physically a good thing,
but it's also mentally a good thing...
because a lot of people
just do nothing, you know?
But obviously a lot of guys
just do it for chicks, but...
I don't know, the whole
chicks thing is just like,
people do a lot of things
for girls, you know?
Yeah, since I've started,
I've definitely gotten
more attention from girls.
Like, considerably, but...
you know, that's not...
like, the driving force
at this point, or anything.
With this whole
incel phenomenon it's--
ironically there's never
been an easier time to get laid ever,
but it's like, that's not
what it's about, it's like,
I've had people ask if I was gay
cause I didn't want to hook up,
and it's like...
it's so far removed from
reality and it's like,
that's the joke, but... the joke is also that
there kind of is no joke
at this point.
It's kind of pathetic.
It's like, how can you make me
better in the ways
that I actually care about,
it's like...
caring about me now and caring
about me a year from now
is like,
a completely different thing,
and it's like
I'm looking for someone
who's going to care
about me a year from now.
I don't want to settle
for something because it's like
I'm not even
settling for myself.
I feel like I'm always
pushing myself.
It's like a full-time job to
fight the effects of modernity
and all the atrophy
and stuff like that, so.
We live in the most wealthy
country in the world.
It's like, we are the-- the most
powerful country in the world.
It's like, you would know it...
[scoffs] right?
Everything's about, like,
some grind culture.
It's like, grind in your 20s
and grind in your 30s
and grind in your 40s
and grind yourself to the bone.
It's like, there's no character
building happening anywhere,
but now I'm looking more
to compete in powerlifting.
So, I'm taking my training
a bit more seriously now.
It's precisely because life
isn't a meritocracy that it--
it just-- it doesn't faze me
when someone has something
that's better than me.
It doesn't matter. It's like,
you can't-- you can't change it.
[melancholic music]
I think my tolerance
for most things has increased.
I think my...
proclivity for confrontation
has also increased. I'm a pretty quiet person,
but I generally...
uh, I'm generally pretty mean to
people when they deserve it now.
[dog barks]
Okay.
[sniffs and breathes heavily]
That was pretty difficult.
[sighs]
Upon further thought,
yeah, it's been
a very long two years.
[man growling]
[man yells
and continues growling]
Runnin' through these hoes
like I'm Alek Minassian
Hoppin' in the whip and I'm
motherfuckin' crashin' it
Up over the curb like
I'm Alek Minassian
Hoes suck my dick while
I run over pedestrians
Runnin' through these hoes
like I'm Alek Minassian
Hoppin' in the whip and I'm
motherfuckin' crashing it
Up over the curb
like I'm Alek Minassian
Hoes suck my dick while
I run over pedestrians
[rhythmic music]
[Charels]
On May 1st, I, uh,
tweeted a, uh, joke about, uh,
drifting my Miata into the
mayday protesters in Seattle,
while blasting, uh,
"Super Eurobeat."
Then I guess
somebody reported it
and they banned
my Twitter and...
It's gone. [chuckles]
[Viddy]
"Do you have white,
teenage sons? Listen up. I've been watching my
boys' online behavior and noticed
that social media and vloggers
are actively laying groundwork
in white teens to turn
them into alt-right or white supremacists."
And there's like,
this long thread.
One of the suggestions is,
"You can also watch political
comedy shows with him,
like Trevor Noah, John Oliver,
Hasan Minha.
Talk about what makes
their jokes funny.
Who are the butt of the jokes?
Do they punch up or down?"
And I can't think
of anything that would be
less interesting to, like, a teenager,
than to be sitting
with your mom watching, like, a comedy show
and having to write
an essay on why it's funny
and why it's acceptable.
If you try to do something like
that, they're going to be...
so turned off
by that entire spectrum,
that you're doing way more harm
than good if that's your goal.
[somber piano music]
[Viddy]
I don't want to
blame our parents too bad.
I get it's--
it's hard being a parent
especially when you
don't have a lot of money,
but it's really hard for--
for kids
to have, like, interests and not
have anybody like...
a caretaker sort of figure
that will express interest
in what you're into.
It's the elephant
in the room, right?
The failings of the broader
education system
and just general authority
figures in people's lives,
specifically children's lives.
[Viddy]
A lot of them are bored.
I think more than anything.
People who are bored have the
most potential to cause trouble.
[newsreader]
The Joker movie had
law enforcement on high alert
long before it hit
the big screen.
So much so, Seattle Police
spotted this tweet
of a man holding two
AK-47-like guns,
with the words,"One ticket for
Joker, please.
[dark dramatic music]
[newsreader]
Redmond Police say the man
in the photo is 23 year old,
Charels... [beeps]
Can you introduce me as Joker?
Besides the threat
about The Joker,
they say he made threats
of violence against women.
"lI really want to punch a woman
so hard her entire body just
buckles and collapses.
[officer]
We contacted the individual
safely outside their residence.
He was very cooperative,
compliant, uh,
and spoke to us and turned
over all of his firearms.
I think absolutely it's
the right thing to do. Yeah,
we don-- we don't need
people like that threatening,
um, our families
and people like that
that are going to the theater
and enjoying family time.
[newsreader]
He told police he never
planned to hurt anyone.
[upbeat techno music]
[Kant]
The reason that
Trump won is that,
you had like, the media hegemony
of interpreting,
like, reality, right?
And people just, like,
rejected that
and realized that they could do
whatever they want.
And that, like,
there's no Monopoly on truth
that's held by, like,
CNN and MSNBC and like,
there's like--
the establishment in terms of,
like, creating a narrative,
has lost all of its power.
It's not really about taking
anything over, so to speak.
It's just about, like,
defining reality for yourself.
I mean, this is like,
the nature, like,
of consciousness is like
each tweet is a moment
of consciousness
and they're all connected
by your brand.
[music continues]
[train rumbles]
[light music]
[Kant]
The "feeling when no girlfriend" boys,
you can like, scorn them for,
like, not following the like...
the set path, but really,
they're the ones
who are paving the way for
everyone in the future, because
they're the ones who are,
you know, preparing for
the demise of these
institutions which, you know,
are no longer supporting,
you know, the-- the synthesis,
or the unity of our--
our society as a whole.
Personally, I don't think that
anything is more, like, hopeful.
There's no sense that...
you know, because...
people are posting
on Twitter or doing a podcast
or whatever, that like,
the modern condition
Is any more...
you know, bearable,
but as long as that
process continues,
I still think it's hopeful
in a sense that it's,
like, continuing.
Rough day, huh?
Life seems meaningless, huh?
Well, you're correct. Its
purpose must be chosen by you.
Understand that sadness and
pain is a natural part of life,
but it isn't
what life revolves around.
Learn to enjoy the ride
and seek out beauty in your surroundings.
Free your mind. Wake up.
[drums music]
[gentle rock music]
[Kyle] I used to feel
that way, like, just hating
everything in the modern world.
Shit like this, you know?
Fucking highways
and factories and shit.
I just think it's fucking ugly,
awful and just inhuman,
but...
we fucking grow to, uh,
you know, appreciate it and think it's like...
You know, it's like fucking,
dystopian movies,
fucking Blade Runner or...
I can't think of any others off
the top of my head but, like...
I remember I was on that
Greyhound bus to get here.
And it was late at night
and everyone was just fucking tired and miserable,
and I'm sitting with
this dude I've never--
you know, I never met the guy,
just on the fucking bus,
and, you know,
we just start talking.
He's like, "Fuck, man.
This fucking sucks, huh?"
It's like, "Yeah, man, but shit,
we're in it together,"
you know, it's like that.
It's like, "Fuck it.
We're-- we're all living it.
Try and enjoy it."
[music continues]
[Sean]
It's like, is it about Kyle?
Is about KantBot?
Is it about Viddy and Charels?
There are striking similarities
between all of them.
So, it's like,
this archetype story, I guess.
So, it's not just mine.
It's-- it's other people's story as well.
I think that, the "TFW no GF"
thing's an idea that's
not confined
to this period of time,
it's like, you go look
at the graffiti in Pompeii.
There's people
"TFW no GF" posting.
It's like, the whole point is
just, if you know someone who's
having a hard time,
give them a call.
It's like, okay,
no one else is going to...
you know, pamper you
through life, but it's like,
you have three other dudes in,
like, some group chat and it's like...
it's like these are your closest
friends in the whole world.
[waves crashing]
My hopes would be that I just
don't stagnate, I guess.
I want to keep, you know,
moving forward with myself
and, you know,
get some shit done.
It's not really
all that elaborate.
Like, you know,
starting a career and...
meeting new people,
seeing new things.
Just normal, everyday stuff.
[uplifting choral music]
[Viddy]
Every day, I don't even know
if I'm going to make it.
Like, you don't know
what's going to happen.
Maybe things will get better.
Maybe they'll get worse.
"There was a post about, or shooting
women"
Yeah.
"Was there ever, uh
was that ever, like, some sort of
desire that you had, or urge that you had?"
No.
[music continues]
"Do you consider, do you assoicate yourself,
with the incel community?
No, I have a girlfriend
and everything.
I'll say we're all
going to make it.
I'll say that.
I'll give that sound bite.
We're all going to make it.
[Kant]
The experiences of some
of these people are not, like,
totally outside of the realm
of things that happen
in history.
It's not like, you know,
they're going to the, uh,
you know,
concentration camps or whatever.
[music continues]
At the end of the day, you're
making a movie about life.
You're making a movie
about people's lives, right?
It's like,
what's the end of life?
What's the point of life?
You want to have something
at the end of the movie,
where you say what
the point of life is?
It's like, that's ridiculous.
[choral music continues]
So like, Faust's quest,
he's like searching for Helena
and he's like, searching
for the other part of himself,
in like, Helena,
which is why he goes
to the underworld
and he's like riding
on a centaur and shit.
And like, trying to like,
rescue her from Hades,
but the whole point
of the book is that, like,
that's not like-- that isn't
the end of the book,
like, that's not what
happens in the end.
That's not what,
like, breaks the curse
like Mephistopheles
has placed on him,
because the whole premise
of the book is, like,
Mephistopheles is saying that,
when you reach a point,
where you wish that, like,
this mome-- like a moment
can last for infinity,
is that then you will, like,
have your soul redeemed,
and like, the bargain
that you made with the devil,
be like, undone and you'll
be able to, like, go to heaven.
So like, that ultimately
has nothing to do with, like, Helena,
and then he goes on to,
like, raise the city of Atlantis and shit, so...
[choral music continues]
[upbeat rock music]
Alone again, no friends
No helping hand
Nobody who cares
Nobody that understands
Oh, no, I'm alone again
That feel when no girlfriend
That feel when no girlfriend
That feel when no girlfriend
That feel when no girlfriend
Oh, when will it end?
All I want is a girl
who understands
And holds my hand
and likes to dance
'Cause I'm her man
She makes wedding plans
I have so much love
I want to share
Why is life so unfair?
That feel when no girlfriend
Oh, why is life so bad?
That feel when no girlfriend
[song abruptly ends]
[drum beat]
[typing]
[ominous music]
[Sean]
Everyone my age kind of
just grows up on the internet.
when I think back,
I think about,
like, what bullshit
I was doing on 4chan,
because that's the only...
place that, kind of,
seemed real.
Well, this was
after I dropped out.
I was so depressed and...
just felt so hopeless, that...
I didn't have
the energy to do anything.
I didn't have the energy
to talk to anyone.
Uh...
So in a day I'd get up,
I'd get something to eat.
It really was just,
kind of, sitting in bed
and sometimes watching TV,
but other times,
it was more like...
[somber music]
...I don't know, just kind of,
looking out the window,
just the normal,
really weird depressed shit,
that you find yourself doing
and don't really know why.
And when I...
found myself on, like, 4chan and Twitter and
stuff like that.
I realized that there was,you know, other people
who are,
kind of,
going through the same shit...
and not really knowing what
to do with their lives, or...
if there actually even is
anything to really do
with your life,
if you're... kind of,
disassociated and indifferent
to a lot of things.
I came to realize that I might
be stumbling into something
I find really important.
And it did turn out that way.
[low musical sting]
[fast percussive music]
[newsreader 1]
Something ominous is
happening to men in America.
Everyone who pays
attention knows that.
[newsreader 2]
Many millennialsare still struggling financially
especially when compared
to past generations.
For the first time
in the modern era,
young adults are more likely
to live with their parents,
than with a romantic partner.
[newsreader 3]
In the 18-to 22-year-old category,
those people scored the highest
in terms of loneliness.
[newsreader 4]
Is there indication as to why?
[newsreader 5]
They seem to be alone,
but they are radicalizing
each other in their isolation.
[Trump] Well, I say that
it's a very scary time
for young men in America.
It's a very difficult time.
Our response is, "Sucks
to be you, loser. Unfollow."
You want a friend? Get a gun.
[woman]
This is a part
of a larger movement,
which is about policing,
punishing and persecuting women.
[man]
They call themselves
The Darkest Reaches
of the Internet,
and they're not wrong.
[reporter]
Do we even know
who is this 4chan?
[with distorted voice] 4chan.
4chan.
4chan.
[upbeat music]
[weights thud]
[weights thud]
[weights thud]
[typing]
[newsreader]
Destroy! Die! Attack!
Threats from a gang
of computer hackers calling
themselves Anonymous.
I believe they're
domestic terrorists.
[car explodes]
[newsreader]
Their name comes from
their secret website.
It requires anyone posting on the site to remain
anonymous.
[with distorted voice] They get
laughs. They enjoy doing this.
They get what they call, "LULZ."
[newsreader]
LULZ is a corruption of LOL,
which stands for Laugh Out Loud.
[light dramatic music]
[Sean]
Bored all the time
here in Thornton.
For context, I'm 5'6
and I live in a one-bedroom
apartment with my Mom.
[Sean]
I wouldn't necessarily say
that I prefer the internet
over anything else, it's just...
that's where I felt
most was offered to me,
just in every sense.
In a social sense,
in an educational sense.
It's like a river,
it just does what
it wants with you.
[music continues]
[breathes deeply]
[Sean]
I did all right in school,
like, up until
eighth grade and then I just,
kind of,
stopped caring about it.
I skipped classes pretty
much every single day,
and I got in trouble a lot,
and then I failed ninth grade.
[laughs]
I kind of just
dropped off the map.
I dropped out,
was going through my own shit.
And since then I've just been
a fucking NEET. [chuckles]
[choral music]
[Sean]
I mean, back when
I was using 4chan,
the people my age were like,
dealing with their parents, who were dealing with
the economic crash and stuff like that,
and I was like, "Oh,
my parents are divorced
and the future that was sold
to me is a complete lie."
So it's like, I'm just going
to do nothing instead.
[Sean]
rok is where the most
hopeless and autistic and...
miserable people congregate
to flirt with their despair.
You have a shitty day and then you make
a green text about it
and you can make it as funny
or not funny as you want
and then people will call
you a faggot or whatever, and then they'll join in.
And it sounds bad when you don't
actually take part in it,
but it's actually--
it's some fun when you're
on board, I guess.
You don't feel
like it's a habit.
It just, kind of,
becomes something you do
and you kind of wonder
what you did before.
I mean, this is a very common thing on rok,
where people are saying,
"Alright, today I'm going to kill myself. Do you
guys want to tell me anything?"
And then people will say,
"Uh, yeah, dude, see you later,"
and stuff like that and just
egging them on to do it.
And, I mean, it's funny when it,
kind of, starts out,
but you got to think that,
"Holy shit.
Maybe some of these guys
are actually doing it."
[upbeat music]
[Charels]
It's like a love-hate kind of thing, just--
there's just, like,
nothing else like it.
It's pretty much like
any addiction or anything.
My phone tells me, like, every week that I spent,
like, seven hours a day on it,
so, I've been with--
online so long.
It's just a part of me.
I just tweet my thoughts
as it's happening,
which often are
really bad and negative,
or the reactions kind of give
you a small dopamine rush and--
Yeah, there's not
really much to lose.
Like, I don't
really care in a way.
Any publicity is good publicity.
I'd always, kind of, just got those like,
suicidal thoughts.
A lot of, like,
things risking your life,
like driving really fast or suddenly, like,
closing your eyes,
like, while just
on the accelerator.
Once it starts happening it--
I just don't even think about it.
My head just kind of,
like, clears up,
and my thoughts go away for
a minute, which is relaxing
because you can just mess up in
a second and it'd all be over.
[music continues]
[train horn]
[train rumbling]
[intense rock music]
[people chattering]
Man, it's kind
of messed up around here.
But, you know, it is what it is.
This is our roommate,
it's, uh, Mason.
We go way back, right?
See, alcoholic, NEET,
spergy, awkward, aggressive,
defensive or distant
in conversation.
Torrent most
of your downloads and games.
Have passed the point in your life when having
potential mattered.
Attempted suicide or have
had a mental breakdown.
Sleep over ten hours
a night or less than six.
Overcrowded
or filthy living conditions.
Diagnosed autism,
anxiety or depression.
Masturbate at least once a day.
Less than ten happy memories
in the past year.
Virgin.
Fired from a job or a drop out.
Have been arrested.
Let's see. How many bingos?
That's a bingo.
Oh, that one's close.
[light dramatic music]
Specifically the rule is,
you can't make a post
if anyone's made a post with
the same exact, like, content.
Like, it has to be completely
unique every single time
and an easy way
to have a unique post
was people talking really
frankly about, like,
personal stories
or personal problems,
and that sort of,
set the tone for the community.
Stuff like this.
Really just, like,
an infinite supply of this shit.
It's funny how it worked out,
that, um, Wojak kind of,
remained like an insular
part of the communities.
What's more popular nowadays
is kind of, like,
the permutations of them.
But those always come and go.
He still has
that same lasting power.
[funky techno music]
I usually wake up around noon.
Take a shower,
get dressed and then, um,
just browse Twitter
until Charlie gets home.
And then...
whatever he wants
to do after that.
We both grew up, not just
in the same physical conditions,
but the same digital
conditions. So we--
I think we really understand
each other really well.
[Charels]
And I lived out, like,
in the woods and everything.
There wasn't really
anyone our age around.
Nowhere to go.
Nothing to do, really.
Our parents were alcoholics,
SO...
-They didn't exactly
have it together, I guess.
-[laughs] No.
[Charels]
We kind of just spent
a lot of time online.
[Viddy]
You know, when you're kind
of trapped like that,
I guess, the internet
definitely opens up
avenues that wouldn't
otherwise be present.
You don't really have friends
in real life and there's people
you can talk to online.
[melancholic music]
[Viddy]
I have a lot of problems just,
like, speaking in general,
like, it's really hard for me
to say much of anything.
I'm pretty quiet, but...
being able to be online
and communicate,
like, my thoughts and feelings
in, sort of,
a more eloquent way, it--
it's sort of liberating.
-[vendor] Thank you.
-[Viddy] Thank you.
[Viddy]
It almost seems
like nobody's here.
[melancholic music]
It's the kind of place where...
it's all just, like--
like, strip malls and industrial places
and empty lots,
burned down buildings and...
None of them seem like
actual places you can go to.
They're--
they're like set pieces.
It's like my background,
but at the same time it's,
like, really beautiful in a way.
[melancholic country music]
A lot of people will
compare and say, like,
"Stuff online versus
stuff in real life."
It-- it is real life.
You can't really
decouple the two anymore.
They're--
they're so intertwined,
especially in
the formative experiences
of people growing up nowadays.
And I feel like...
for kids that are
going to be younger than us.
They won't even understand
the difference between the two.
[Viddy]
Maybe at like
11 or 12 years old,
I somehow stumbled upon 4chan.
That was like a defining moment.
4chan is almost like a zone
completely devoid of rules.
Say whatever you want,
be whatever you want,
do whatever you want.
Just kill every sacred cow.
Just destroy taboos
for the sake of being taboos.
[child]
...shall not be destroyed.
[Viddy]
And I think we just
kind of latched onto that.
But then you also really
get into some of the,
like, more dark sides
of just, sort of,
human behavior.
[chuckles] A 12 year old should
not probably be exposed
to a constant onslaught of,
like, gore and extreme pornography.
It does kind
of harden you in a way.
[cocks gun]
Just an A-K. It's very classic.
A Mac 11 and 9 millimeter,
which is--
Actually got this
off of a person who was
selling it on Twitter.
It's just a cheap AR-15 Lower,
but it's got a, uh,
M16A2, like, parts kit on it
and a Cobray 37-millimeter
flare launcher.
Well, it just looks cool.
[chuckles]
If any e-girls are looking
to be emotionally manipulated
and/or sexually abused,
my DMs are, in fact, open right now.
More, like, depressing or,
like misogynistic,
or something there,
they do better.
[Viddy]
I think for a while,
he was, like,
the incel mascot on Twitter,
pretty much.
I think his account got
locked for a couple of these.
I don't think I would consider
myself actually a misogynist.
It's just kind of, like,
trolling and everything, just--
A lot of chicks are actually
into it, which is funny.
There had always been
the long history of...
using online to, sort of,
get one over on, like,
the real world is a joke, like.
-[Charels] I think--
-Where the irony ends and the sincerity begins,
it's almost obscured on purpose,
like, as part of the joke.
-[laughing]
-[Viddy] Let's see Kyle.
He's got really funny stuff.
[Charels]
His cowboy boots or hat
Is always pictured.
-So... let's see.
-[both laugh]
[Viddy]
People like to over blow the--
like, the really edgy stuff,
but then you get, like-- like,
the hilariously heartfelt posts like this.
"All of the treasure in
the world has already been taken.
There's no adventure left."
And the reply to it is, um,
"There's a treasure inside
each and every one of us."
Nobody chose to be in this
culture with this technology,
with--
in their family situation.
They didn't choose to grow up
rich or poor or whatever.
You play the cards you're dealt,
and sometimes
they're not good enough.
Still living
in fucking La La Land.
Little fantasy world
where everything's going
to be A-okay.
Everything's going
to get all better.
Let me tell you
something, buddy.
It's not going to happen, okay?
All right, let's check this out.
I was reading some
threads last night
More Redditors, more underage
kids, more Tumblr...
white knights and shit.
You already know how it is.
They don't know, okay?
They don't get it. [chuckles]
I gotta tell 'em. I gotta--
I gotta school 'em,
right now, I'm afraid.
We're in this dual reality.
So, you know, we're trying
to keep up this facade.
You know, as society's
crumbling around us,
as civilization is collapsing,
we're trying
to keep up this facade,
that this is what--
you know, all the ha--
happy family
and the white picket fence,
but that's not... [chuckles]
that's on its way out,
I'm afraid.
And I don't know what's coming.
It's going to be probably
not very good,
whatever is coming up next.
But women, they-- you know,
they're out there and they're
taking the good stuff, okay?
They're getting the 20s,
"Hot guy, hot guy, hot guy, hot guy, oh, this is great,
hot guy, date a hot guy,
fuck a hot guy," over and over again,
you know, they love it,
because they can just--
they're on Tinder. Hot--
you know, they're
finding the hot guys,
they're fucking em.
And you're sitting here
to yourself,
"Oh, if I'd just hit
a new PR on my bench.
If I'd just buy that new suit,
if I'd just," you know,
you're playing catch-up,
you're trying to catch up and
you're trying to be something,
but you... [chuckles]
you've already lost.
You've already failed,
you know what I mean?
[somber music]
[engine starts]
[muffled gentle music]
[music plays]
Oh, I've got heartaches
by the number
Troubles by the score
Every day you love me less
[blues music]
[beeping]
[Kyle]
I don't know what the average
person is looking forward to.
Maybe they got plans,
[-- I don't know.
I was a real fucking bastard
when I was a little kid, man.
I remember, uh,
I'd go to school and,
like, some classes were taught,
like, half in Spanish,
which, it was fucking insane.
I didn't speak Spanish,
but, you know, it-- I mean,
it was fucking El Paso,
pretty much everyone there does.
I-- I used to hide
in the garage, like...
you know, I'd just fucking
sit in there with my--
whatever the goddamn
video game was back then.
I mean,
I remember being pulled out,
I remember the day,
but after that...
I just remember she said
we were going to homeschool. It didn't work.
We pretty much everyone
just gave up on it.
I just talk to people
on there, really.
Make dumb posts.
Just whatever comes to mind.
Just good to...
[sighs] It's good
to talk to people.
and it's not ideal, but...
it's better
than nothing I guess.
Like a lot of--
a lot of the guys
on-- on that side
of Twitter, like,
they talk about being lonely.
But they also talk about, like,
you know,
hating being around people.
One, two, three!
[all]
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday...
[Kyle]
What's making these people
the way they are?
These young men.
You can't just--
Like, I can't just put it
into a sentence, you know?
I don't even know what it is.
It's just...
everything that's happening.
I can see a police car
all the way from out here.
You see those
red and blue lights...
flashing?
[somber music]
I mean, I don't know not--
not the people I know,
but anyone that's lonely
and angry like that.
It's completely possible that
they'll-- they'll do something,
something they shouldn't,
in the end.
I-- I knew four people
that I was really close with.
I had one friend,
two years ago now, I think,
and he OD'd.
And then I had another one.
Yeah, this was just
a couple months ago.
He just fucking
gunned it into a wall,
In his car and he died, he--
he split his head open.
He was dead.
And...
there was another one
that just happened.
I don't want to talk about that.
I mean... that was like
my last... friend.
I mean, I've always felt lonely,
but now I'm really...
really alone, you know?
[mariachi music]
[singing in Spanish]
I'm tired of just wallowing
with a bunch
of other miserable fucking guys.
What's the point?
There's no point.
You...
you can either try
and get your shit together or you'll-- you'll
fucking die. You'll waste away.
The day
[Kyle]
It seems like,
even before, I had it better,
you know?
Had more to work for.
Noone...
[Kyle]
I mean, my parents
are well into their 50s
and they don't own a house
or a car or anything
and that's just kind of fucked
up to me. It's like--
You can't-- it's hard--you just can't do anything
NOW.
[music continues]
It's harder to build a life.
Promise to sail with me
to Mexico
If to your open window I...
[Kyle]
I think, "Shit, where am
I going to be in 20 years?"
Tell me she'll wait
for my deepest love
This dream
[Kyle]
I don't know I gotta get
my shit together, I gotta--
I gotta work on my education.
I need to...
Yeah, I need t--
I need to, you know,
set myself up for my future.
[song continues]
Oh, my darling, I pray
That you love me forever
And go with me
Oh, my beloved
Down to Mexico
-I didn't vote.
I don't believe in democracy.
-Okay.
You know, I believe in Thule,
the ancient city,
and raising Thule.
And I think that Trump
Is the candidate who's
going to raise Thule
and Atlantis.
I believe in global cooling.
Cooling the Earth. The sea low--
the sea level is lowering,
and I believe in land raising
from the bottom of the ocean
with ancient ruins on it,
like the ruins of Thule,
and I believe that Trump's going
to accomplish all of that.
-How?
-He's going to prove
that UFOs exist.
The government has known
about it for a long time.
They've known
that the UFOs are out there
and that they're trying
to communicate with us
and that they have
secrets about the origins
of human consciousness.
Are you familiar with the
philosopher Friedrich Schelling?
He predicted it a long time ago.
Trump is going to make
German idealism real.
-He's going to
complete the system.
-Can someone do that?
-[people chattering]
-He's a German idealist!
-Are you, um,
are you from New York?
-No, I'm not from New York.
Are you-- uh, how old are you?
-l can't say. I can't say.
-You look really young.
Are you--
-I'm eternal.
-Have you been to--
have you been to college?
-You should go.
-I'm not in college.
I just want everyone to know.
Everyone needs to be aware.
Go off the fucking PERC
learning, fine.
-He's a fascist,
that's the most important thing.
-[unintelligible shouting]
-We don't need books!
-The eye convinces the eye!
-Burn the books! Burn the books!
-[laughing]
-We don't need democracy!
-[unintelligible shouting]
[guy]
We are the alt-right, we got--
we got Trump elected.
We got Trump Elected.
Follow me on Twitter.
-Have a great night.
-[woman laughing]
[upbeat music]
[Kant]
I think people are,
like, uncomfortable
not really knowing,
like, what I believe.
And that they want me to be,
like, more sincere
and they're like--
they don't, like, like irony,
they don't like trying to,
like, cloak or, like,
conceal, like,
what you believe or like,
you know, fold into
different layers of meaning.
Some people just aren't clear,
like, interpreting stuff like that,
or, like, can't just like,
appreciate it for what it is.
So, it just, like, bothers them.
Well...
You know, TFW no girlfriend
is just like, it's--That's all it is
it's just a meme.
So, you can't make a movie
about, like, just a meme.
It's that you have
to look below the surface.
Well, there's a, you know,
a dichotomy. You can't talk
about Wojak without
talking about, like, Pepe,
because they-- they go together.
That's the duality of man.
Is that you have the Pepe
and you have the Wojak
and the Pepe is sort of like,
you know, it's your troll self.
It's your, you know,
public persona and it's, like,
you being cocky and he's
saying all this crazy shit,
and being smug and
being ironic and, you know,
getting under people's skins
and, sort of,
being cool about things.
But then on the other half,
we all have the Wojak,
which is like
our private selves,
who, you know,
isn't like that at all.
Who's like, very depressed.
Who feels, like, inadequate.
Who, you know,
can't fulfill his own goals.
Who, you know, has all these
feelings that he can't manage.
This is like what social media
is helping... to create.
It's like the fragmentation
of our-- our personalities.
So, when you go online
and you're trolling you--
you're the Pepe,
but really, inside you're
the Wojak that nobody--
nobody really knows about.
So, we can all become Wojak
in like--
in our moments of desperation.
You know, he represents when
we feel like we're nothing.
[funky music]
[Kant] I didn't know that
anyone would, like, care about,
like, what I have to say.
I-- like, I didn't presume to
think that, like, anyone would.
So, as I went along.
You know, I found out
more and more that like,
what I was saying, like,
resonated with-- with people,
and, like, I mean,
that was surprising to me,
but it wasn't like I was
driven by, like, an anger, at like, what was going
on, it was just more of like, apathy.
It's like tiredness.
-Do they still read
Friedrich Schlegel?
-[shop assistant] I think so!
There's this guy,
Friedrich Schlegel,
and his main,
you know,
the literary form that
he worked in was the aphorism.
So he worked in the fragment.
You know, he only wrote I--
like, a single paragraph at a time.
He just published books of just,
like, one paragraph, or like,
one sentence, like,
observations about things,
like, reviews of books
or something,
and he, you know, founded like,
all modern, like,
literary theory by doing--
and like, that's what like
a tweet is. Just because,
like, a tweet is, like, small...
and seems, like, incidental,
I mean, that's--
doesn't mean that doesn't have
a literary potential in there.
I'm not saying that every tweet
recognizes that potential,
but...
if you're going to be doing
them, like, you should try to,like, elevate it
somehow,
just something like, more interesting, funny, you
know, observant, insightful.
And there is a lot
of potential there.
If you went back to, like,
I don't know, like,
2011 or 2012,
it's like, you know,
I wanted to be a writer.
But you have all these questions
about what are you going to do?
It's like,
you have to go through,
like, the publishing industry
and you have to get, like,
an agent, there's like,
all these...
you know, stipulations where,
you know, I have to kowtow to
other people's opinions or
I have to, like, put on a face
and pretend that like,
I agree, it's like,
you know, I just want to be,
like, controversial and like,
do whatever the fuck
I want to do and like...
I have to find, like,
something else.
I have to find, like,
a different way.
I mean, I don't even think
I like found it.
I think, like, I made it
and like other people made it.
Good evening everyone.
Welcome to the Tekwar podcast.
This is the official podcast
of The Tekwars Fan Network.
Tonight we have
a very special guest.
His name is Egg White.
[Egg White]
I'm glad to be speaking
to such a prestigious
man as yourself, myself.
You have to make the space
that you want in the world,
it's like-- it's not
going to be given to you.
[gentle music]
In a lot of ways I'm not
that close to, like, my family.
So the idea of, like,
belonging to this, like,
little community
and you all work
together and can create,
like, this historical moment,
which can, like,
transcend the limitations
of like, your era.
And then create,
like, a whole new way
of thinking about things.
You can create a whole
new form of consciousness.
And that's what I've, like,
always, you know,
wanted to feel with,
like, other people.
[irl]
You're surrounded
by this negative energy, dude.
[rock music continues]
Yeah, I would identify
as part of a subculture,
but it's very vague,
I guess, where it's just...
a bunch of young guys
who have been raised
with complete...
anonymity, like,
their whole lives,
and they've made some use of it.
A lot of people have
made a lot of use of it,
myself included, uh...
but it's just kind of...
People who are existing
between the cracks.
[gentle techno music]
So, yeah,
it's definitely mostly dudes.
It's like 95% dudes.
Most people on 4chan
are dudes, because it's completely anonymous,
and because you can say
anything you want.
A lot of guys feel pressured to
not say things they think about.
Practically anything
that you could say about
your position as a man is,
kind of, alm-- it's almost
like taboo.
People like,
get angry at you for saying
you have your own trials
and tribulations, as a guy.
It's an outlet, but it's also...
it's also constructive
in a few ways, I think.
People think they want
to see just complete turmoil
at every given opportunity.
They're right to think that it's like,
super toxic and not inviting,
but I think the biggest
misconception is that,
they're doing it
for reasons other than fun.
[Viddy]
What the punks would do,
Is they'd have--
they'd have concerts
and they'd drink
and they'd break shit
and they'd get into fights.
People of this demographic,
they have--
they have the digital world,
SO...
because maybe they can't do
those things in the
physical world.
Sean and me go pretty far back.
He was one of, like,
the first couple of friends I made on-- on Twitter.
Just like regular stuff, like,
both our physical home lives are kind of...
kind of messed up,
I guess, but...
we're both able to see
the way that, like,
this world doesn't
quite understand,
uh, people in our specific
demographic yet.
I mean, that sounds
so corny to say, but...
you know, the rest
of the world doesn't really
care that much about you.
[train rumbling]
[drums music]
[gentle rock music]
[Kant]
I mean, I do feel lonely a lot.
I mean, even though I have,
like,
a lot of people
that I'm friends with,
I have tons of people
I talk to online,
you know, I still wonder,
like, does anyone, like, actually like me?
Like, I have no idea.
You know, are they just saying stuff?
Are they just being nice to me?
Like, you know, does anyone
know who I really am?
You know,
you're surrounded by people,
not to sort of, like,
Increase your sense
of wealthiness,
because, you know,
there's people all around us,
but we're not interacting
with them and I was like,
"Who are they?
Who fucking knows?"
[music continues]
Picture me gone
Picture me gone
picture me gone
Picture me gone
picture me gone
Picture me gone
Picture me gone
[Charels]
Life kind of sucks.
You're just working,
like, kind of bad jobs.
Just, just lonely.
Picture me gone
Picture me gone
Picture me gone
[Kant]
When you're a man it's like,
you just sort of blend in.
Some days, like, the only
people who will talk to you,
is like a cashier or something,
That's what makes you
interaction deaf.
A lot of these incels,
I think kind of feel like,
they could just go along
forever with their lives
and, like,
no one will notice them.
Like, they feel, like,
just completely abandoned.
People used to, like,
graduate from high school
and like, go get a job
or whatever and it's--
you know, things worked out
pretty well for them.
But now that's, like,
impossible,
you know, you have no
experience in anything
and you're from like,
a small town background
and you don't have
any connections.
So, you just end up, like,
back at home and your parents
are like, you know, telling you to go
like, apply at McDonald's
or something because it's better
than you staying at home.
Picture me gone
Picture me gone
And you're trying to, like,
desperately, like, reach out,
to like different people
maybe like online or whatever,
to like try to form connections
that you're just, like,
not being able to form
in the real world,
because like, by all possible measures,
like, you're a failure,
and you're a loser,
and you're like embarrassed
about yourself and what you'redoing. You don't
want to be seen
in public and when you go
out in public, like, people
won't even
fucking talk to you.
You know, it's not like,
a totally crazy experience.
I mean, it's just like,
now, that's like,
part of growing up.
[Charels]
No, I've never had
a girlfriend before.
I'm definitely not good
at talking to them,
or really dealing
with them at all.
[Viddy]
I don't know.
I'm in a predominantly,
sort of,
male sphere on the internet.
So there's not quite
as much of that.
[Charels]
If it happens, it happens.
If it doesn't, it doesn't.
You know, it's--
I don't want to just be in,
like...
a relationship just to be
in a relationship or anything.
I'd want there to be something.
Um, like, it's less that...
like, not having a girlfriend
that's bad and it's more of...
like, just being alienated
from everyone else in general.
Not being close to anybody.
[light somber music]
[Viddy]
I'm not implying that, like,
girls can't be disaffected,
obviously.
But it's so much more prevalent
in, like, nerdy young boys,
I guess, to just be
cast to the wayside.
Like their feelings
aren't really that concerned.
They only really have each
other to rely on, pretty much.
[indistinct chattering]
[Charels]
I think since I was a kid,
I was always, like,
really shy and I guess
my social skills too.
It's like, hard to word it,
exactly what it is.
There's just some, like,
disconnect from, like,
being normal people.
I always had, like, a fantasy of, like,
kind of wanting to live, like,
out in the woods,
build my own house or something,
and kind of just, like,
live off the land,
but that's becoming
less and less realistic
as society advances
and just where my life is going now, but...
-It's good to be
trigger-disciplined and--
-Yeah, yeah.
A lot of people just like,
think their, like,
future is like predefined, like,
at a super early age,
even when it's not,
so they make, like,
terrible decisions, like,
oh, just failing
all your classes,
never going to school
and everything and--
and you just kind of
have to live with those
the rest of your life.
[chuckles] I'm gonna blow up
some slugs, man!
Oh, these dangerous
online people.
Not every person who's posting,
like, an Elliot Rodger meme
online is actually going
to go shoot somebody.
Like, that's not true.
There's the troll aspect
and then there's the people
taking it seriously aspect.
They think, "Okay,
what do people hate most?"
And then they just become that,
because it gets
a reaction every time.
And then some of them forget
that they're playing the character.
The next thing you know,
they end up in like a place like Charlottesville.
Obviously, there are people
that are so disenfranchised,
so alienated,
so demonized in whatever way,
that they feel like
their only choice is
to lash out in whatever
way they can and--
I'm not like,
excusing that or anything,
but do-- what,
that happens for no reason?
Do people, like,
really think that?
[Charels]
They won't even, like...
think about why these people
are doing what they're doing.
They're just so
disconnected from it.
They refuse to even, like,
acknowledge it.
[Viddy]
A lot of these people
that are in these communities,
they feel like they're not
good enough, you know?
They don't have like a--
some kind of
talent or skill,
or something that's,
like, widely respected,
but they're able to go online
and do these things and be
appreciated for what they're doing.
[chuckles]
[Viddy]
There's the--
the mischievous aspects,
but it's definitely
majorly about community.
I mean, it does feel good
to make someone with, like,
100,000 followers look
like a fucking idiot.
That-- that will never change,
but it's not about doing that.
It's about showing your friends
that you did it, right?
The next one will be great.
I promise you.
[rock music]
[gunshots]
[cocks gun]
[gunshots]
[gunshots continue]
[cocks gun]
[gunshots]
[cocks gun]
[gunshots]
[gunshots continue]
[rock music continues]
-[Charels] I think I got
the computer a little.
-[Viddy] Oh, yeah?
[soft music]
[Kyle]
Sure, people just
come here to get drunk.
I respect that.
It's lit.
I mean, the whole
incel thing it's not--
You know, the news
stories about, you know,
"Incels,
they're killing people.
It's just dumb shit like that.
You know, they act like it's
this fucking group that's
conspiring to, I don't know,
hate on women.
And, you know, it's just a bunch
of fucking dudes killing time.
This place is fucked.
You know,
look at misogyny on Twitter.
It's like anything else
on Twitter, fucking,
saying the N-word
or anything else.
It's just funny because it is.
It makes people mad,
and the people that get mad
about fucking tweets
are fucking retards,
so it's funny to make them mad.
It's the same thing with like--
like, people on Twitter.
They're like,
"Oh, fucking SJWs...their PC culture," that--
I feel like that's
just not really real.
I mean, I've never met
anyone like that at all.
It might be different for you
living in fucking Los Angeles,
but I have lived in Texas
pretty much my whole life.
Check that out.
I mean when you came to El Paso,
that was a weird fucking
time for me.
I was-- I mean, you know,
I was going through...
I don't know, I just was
feeling really fucking bad.
I mean...
yeah, I just felt pretty
fucking miserable at the time.
I look back at that and say,
"What the fuck was I doing?"
Like, there's a whole
fucking part of my life
that's just this--
Like, I don't remember being...
[sighs]
... you know, fucking 18,
for instance.
It's just fucking gone.
I mean,
I'm mostly over that now.
I've just started going out more
and doing shit with myself.
I mean, nothing that
really matters, you know,
going out and drinking whatever.
Shit like that.
That just makes it
feel better in general.
Like I said, you know,
makes you feel like you're
an actual fucking person.
Oh, yeah, sure, man.
As long as you're out
of your house you feel
like you're doing something.
I like getting into shit.
Not real trouble,
but yeah, sort of.
[light piano music]
Nightlife offers
a way to forget
But it's only for a while
So when the partners
are all holding
I'll make my way
to this world
I'd like to go some place
and start all over
But I know it can't be done
Run away some place
and start all over
But without you I can't run
Can'trunJ
With laughing people
you will find me
[Kyle]
I still have the fucking scar.
Kind of faded, but...
People like to fuck with me
because I'm big,
and like I said,
I don't just fucking walk away.
I don't-- I don't fucking
take it. I tell 'em
to go fuck themselves
and that pisses 'em off,
because I don't think
people really expect that.
I grew up in El Paso.
That's a Mexican Town.
That's Texas times ten.
They're all about
the fucking machismo, man.
[gentle rock music]
[Kyle]
I don't know. My Twitter
account, it might come across
that I'm, you know,
real fucking miserable.
I'm not.
I mean, sometimes I'll feel like
I'm not going anywhere
in my life and...
that's not really true honestly,
but sometimes
you just feel that way.
Someone, someone's awake
In the city tonight
You gotta do what's right
In the city tonight
Someone's alone
[Kyle]
I think a lot of people
feel fucking isolated
and like there's
nowhere to go in life.
Reach out your hands
to the one below
And, you know,
so they just say, "Fuck it."
and live really poorly,
you know, fucking,
take drugs,
drink all the fucking time,
and just fucking overdose,
or drink themselves to death.
Or just, you know, fucking
kill themselves outright.
[light rock music]
When there's, uh, less going
on for you in the first place,
it's easier to just say,
"Fuck it," you know?
[train rattling]
I mean, people just
want to tell, like,
their stories
about different things.
So I get a lot of messages
there of like
really crazy stuff.
Of like, people telling me these really--
their long stories,
about what's happened
to them in their life
and I get people, like...
messaging me about, like,
their abuse that they've had,
or, you know,
they're in a bad relationship,
or, you know, they don't have
any friends to talk to.
I mean, I don't feel very
qualified to give people advice.
I mostly just tell them to,
you know, I just try and do--
listen to people.
[train rumbles]
But a lot of the time,
I don't know what to say.
So, I think it's important
just to like--
just so people
can talk to somebody.
[light rock music]
[Kant]
So, like I'm not like a--
a player or anything,
or like a ladies man,
like I'm far from it,
but I found like I have
more success with women
as time has gone on,
just because, like, I have more interests in things.
Um, so I can talk about, like,
the books that I like and,
you know...
I find that just women
just like t-- you know,
people who have
their own interests,
and you know,
or their own people.
So...
I can't say that, like, I'm
like the bigger, like, incel, like, anymore.
[dramatic orchestral music]
[Kant]
So, I mean, I do worry
about like, all these--
all these guys because I see
so much potential in them.
And, you know, I know what
they're, like, going through
and what path they're taking
and I want to help them however,
you know, I can to
get beyond all of this
and sort of realize that,
you know, they have the power
to create their own minds.
Someone like Sean, he could be
something, like, really great.
Like, something like incredible.
He could be like
a great novelist,
a great philosopher.
He could be somebody who really,
like, makes a huge
impact on society.
[upbeat music]
[Sean]
So, when I joined Twitter, the guy
that got me really
into reading was KantBot,
and I've pretty much read
everything that he suggested.
People settle for being, like,
the complete nerd who just
reads a bunch of books,
or the bodybuilder who's, like,
ripped where it's just like,
he doesn't care
about anything else.
It's like, like,
"No, motherfucker.
You have to be both." [chuckles]
[music continues]
[Sean]
I work two jobs,
and my mom has cancer,
and it's cold as shit.
I wake up at six a.m.
every morning.
And first thing I do is just
have a small cup of fruit,
drink some water. Then like,
30 minutes later, I'm...
uh, starting squats.
So, I do everything
before I head off to work.
That usually takes about...
[sighs]
...an hour fifteen,
an hour and a half.
Like, a lot of people
are just starting lifting.
They're asking me for advice.
It's physically a good thing,
but it's also mentally a good thing...
because a lot of people
just do nothing, you know?
But obviously a lot of guys
just do it for chicks, but...
I don't know, the whole
chicks thing is just like,
people do a lot of things
for girls, you know?
Yeah, since I've started,
I've definitely gotten
more attention from girls.
Like, considerably, but...
you know, that's not...
like, the driving force
at this point, or anything.
With this whole
incel phenomenon it's--
ironically there's never
been an easier time to get laid ever,
but it's like, that's not
what it's about, it's like,
I've had people ask if I was gay
cause I didn't want to hook up,
and it's like...
it's so far removed from
reality and it's like,
that's the joke, but... the joke is also that
there kind of is no joke
at this point.
It's kind of pathetic.
It's like, how can you make me
better in the ways
that I actually care about,
it's like...
caring about me now and caring
about me a year from now
is like,
a completely different thing,
and it's like
I'm looking for someone
who's going to care
about me a year from now.
I don't want to settle
for something because it's like
I'm not even
settling for myself.
I feel like I'm always
pushing myself.
It's like a full-time job to
fight the effects of modernity
and all the atrophy
and stuff like that, so.
We live in the most wealthy
country in the world.
It's like, we are the-- the most
powerful country in the world.
It's like, you would know it...
[scoffs] right?
Everything's about, like,
some grind culture.
It's like, grind in your 20s
and grind in your 30s
and grind in your 40s
and grind yourself to the bone.
It's like, there's no character
building happening anywhere,
but now I'm looking more
to compete in powerlifting.
So, I'm taking my training
a bit more seriously now.
It's precisely because life
isn't a meritocracy that it--
it just-- it doesn't faze me
when someone has something
that's better than me.
It doesn't matter. It's like,
you can't-- you can't change it.
[melancholic music]
I think my tolerance
for most things has increased.
I think my...
proclivity for confrontation
has also increased. I'm a pretty quiet person,
but I generally...
uh, I'm generally pretty mean to
people when they deserve it now.
[dog barks]
Okay.
[sniffs and breathes heavily]
That was pretty difficult.
[sighs]
Upon further thought,
yeah, it's been
a very long two years.
[man growling]
[man yells
and continues growling]
Runnin' through these hoes
like I'm Alek Minassian
Hoppin' in the whip and I'm
motherfuckin' crashin' it
Up over the curb like
I'm Alek Minassian
Hoes suck my dick while
I run over pedestrians
Runnin' through these hoes
like I'm Alek Minassian
Hoppin' in the whip and I'm
motherfuckin' crashing it
Up over the curb
like I'm Alek Minassian
Hoes suck my dick while
I run over pedestrians
[rhythmic music]
[Charels]
On May 1st, I, uh,
tweeted a, uh, joke about, uh,
drifting my Miata into the
mayday protesters in Seattle,
while blasting, uh,
"Super Eurobeat."
Then I guess
somebody reported it
and they banned
my Twitter and...
It's gone. [chuckles]
[Viddy]
"Do you have white,
teenage sons? Listen up. I've been watching my
boys' online behavior and noticed
that social media and vloggers
are actively laying groundwork
in white teens to turn
them into alt-right or white supremacists."
And there's like,
this long thread.
One of the suggestions is,
"You can also watch political
comedy shows with him,
like Trevor Noah, John Oliver,
Hasan Minha.
Talk about what makes
their jokes funny.
Who are the butt of the jokes?
Do they punch up or down?"
And I can't think
of anything that would be
less interesting to, like, a teenager,
than to be sitting
with your mom watching, like, a comedy show
and having to write
an essay on why it's funny
and why it's acceptable.
If you try to do something like
that, they're going to be...
so turned off
by that entire spectrum,
that you're doing way more harm
than good if that's your goal.
[somber piano music]
[Viddy]
I don't want to
blame our parents too bad.
I get it's--
it's hard being a parent
especially when you
don't have a lot of money,
but it's really hard for--
for kids
to have, like, interests and not
have anybody like...
a caretaker sort of figure
that will express interest
in what you're into.
It's the elephant
in the room, right?
The failings of the broader
education system
and just general authority
figures in people's lives,
specifically children's lives.
[Viddy]
A lot of them are bored.
I think more than anything.
People who are bored have the
most potential to cause trouble.
[newsreader]
The Joker movie had
law enforcement on high alert
long before it hit
the big screen.
So much so, Seattle Police
spotted this tweet
of a man holding two
AK-47-like guns,
with the words,"One ticket for
Joker, please.
[dark dramatic music]
[newsreader]
Redmond Police say the man
in the photo is 23 year old,
Charels... [beeps]
Can you introduce me as Joker?
Besides the threat
about The Joker,
they say he made threats
of violence against women.
"lI really want to punch a woman
so hard her entire body just
buckles and collapses.
[officer]
We contacted the individual
safely outside their residence.
He was very cooperative,
compliant, uh,
and spoke to us and turned
over all of his firearms.
I think absolutely it's
the right thing to do. Yeah,
we don-- we don't need
people like that threatening,
um, our families
and people like that
that are going to the theater
and enjoying family time.
[newsreader]
He told police he never
planned to hurt anyone.
[upbeat techno music]
[Kant]
The reason that
Trump won is that,
you had like, the media hegemony
of interpreting,
like, reality, right?
And people just, like,
rejected that
and realized that they could do
whatever they want.
And that, like,
there's no Monopoly on truth
that's held by, like,
CNN and MSNBC and like,
there's like--
the establishment in terms of,
like, creating a narrative,
has lost all of its power.
It's not really about taking
anything over, so to speak.
It's just about, like,
defining reality for yourself.
I mean, this is like,
the nature, like,
of consciousness is like
each tweet is a moment
of consciousness
and they're all connected
by your brand.
[music continues]
[train rumbles]
[light music]
[Kant]
The "feeling when no girlfriend" boys,
you can like, scorn them for,
like, not following the like...
the set path, but really,
they're the ones
who are paving the way for
everyone in the future, because
they're the ones who are,
you know, preparing for
the demise of these
institutions which, you know,
are no longer supporting,
you know, the-- the synthesis,
or the unity of our--
our society as a whole.
Personally, I don't think that
anything is more, like, hopeful.
There's no sense that...
you know, because...
people are posting
on Twitter or doing a podcast
or whatever, that like,
the modern condition
Is any more...
you know, bearable,
but as long as that
process continues,
I still think it's hopeful
in a sense that it's,
like, continuing.
Rough day, huh?
Life seems meaningless, huh?
Well, you're correct. Its
purpose must be chosen by you.
Understand that sadness and
pain is a natural part of life,
but it isn't
what life revolves around.
Learn to enjoy the ride
and seek out beauty in your surroundings.
Free your mind. Wake up.
[drums music]
[gentle rock music]
[Kyle] I used to feel
that way, like, just hating
everything in the modern world.
Shit like this, you know?
Fucking highways
and factories and shit.
I just think it's fucking ugly,
awful and just inhuman,
but...
we fucking grow to, uh,
you know, appreciate it and think it's like...
You know, it's like fucking,
dystopian movies,
fucking Blade Runner or...
I can't think of any others off
the top of my head but, like...
I remember I was on that
Greyhound bus to get here.
And it was late at night
and everyone was just fucking tired and miserable,
and I'm sitting with
this dude I've never--
you know, I never met the guy,
just on the fucking bus,
and, you know,
we just start talking.
He's like, "Fuck, man.
This fucking sucks, huh?"
It's like, "Yeah, man, but shit,
we're in it together,"
you know, it's like that.
It's like, "Fuck it.
We're-- we're all living it.
Try and enjoy it."
[music continues]
[Sean]
It's like, is it about Kyle?
Is about KantBot?
Is it about Viddy and Charels?
There are striking similarities
between all of them.
So, it's like,
this archetype story, I guess.
So, it's not just mine.
It's-- it's other people's story as well.
I think that, the "TFW no GF"
thing's an idea that's
not confined
to this period of time,
it's like, you go look
at the graffiti in Pompeii.
There's people
"TFW no GF" posting.
It's like, the whole point is
just, if you know someone who's
having a hard time,
give them a call.
It's like, okay,
no one else is going to...
you know, pamper you
through life, but it's like,
you have three other dudes in,
like, some group chat and it's like...
it's like these are your closest
friends in the whole world.
[waves crashing]
My hopes would be that I just
don't stagnate, I guess.
I want to keep, you know,
moving forward with myself
and, you know,
get some shit done.
It's not really
all that elaborate.
Like, you know,
starting a career and...
meeting new people,
seeing new things.
Just normal, everyday stuff.
[uplifting choral music]
[Viddy]
Every day, I don't even know
if I'm going to make it.
Like, you don't know
what's going to happen.
Maybe things will get better.
Maybe they'll get worse.
"There was a post about, or shooting
women"
Yeah.
"Was there ever, uh
was that ever, like, some sort of
desire that you had, or urge that you had?"
No.
[music continues]
"Do you consider, do you assoicate yourself,
with the incel community?
No, I have a girlfriend
and everything.
I'll say we're all
going to make it.
I'll say that.
I'll give that sound bite.
We're all going to make it.
[Kant]
The experiences of some
of these people are not, like,
totally outside of the realm
of things that happen
in history.
It's not like, you know,
they're going to the, uh,
you know,
concentration camps or whatever.
[music continues]
At the end of the day, you're
making a movie about life.
You're making a movie
about people's lives, right?
It's like,
what's the end of life?
What's the point of life?
You want to have something
at the end of the movie,
where you say what
the point of life is?
It's like, that's ridiculous.
[choral music continues]
So like, Faust's quest,
he's like searching for Helena
and he's like, searching
for the other part of himself,
in like, Helena,
which is why he goes
to the underworld
and he's like riding
on a centaur and shit.
And like, trying to like,
rescue her from Hades,
but the whole point
of the book is that, like,
that's not like-- that isn't
the end of the book,
like, that's not what
happens in the end.
That's not what,
like, breaks the curse
like Mephistopheles
has placed on him,
because the whole premise
of the book is, like,
Mephistopheles is saying that,
when you reach a point,
where you wish that, like,
this mome-- like a moment
can last for infinity,
is that then you will, like,
have your soul redeemed,
and like, the bargain
that you made with the devil,
be like, undone and you'll
be able to, like, go to heaven.
So like, that ultimately
has nothing to do with, like, Helena,
and then he goes on to,
like, raise the city of Atlantis and shit, so...
[choral music continues]
[upbeat rock music]
Alone again, no friends
No helping hand
Nobody who cares
Nobody that understands
Oh, no, I'm alone again
That feel when no girlfriend
That feel when no girlfriend
That feel when no girlfriend
That feel when no girlfriend
Oh, when will it end?
All I want is a girl
who understands
And holds my hand
and likes to dance
'Cause I'm her man
She makes wedding plans
I have so much love
I want to share
Why is life so unfair?
That feel when no girlfriend
Oh, why is life so bad?
That feel when no girlfriend
[song abruptly ends]
[drum beat]