Thai Massage (2022) Movie Script
1
What are you doing? Slow down.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Make a note of it.
That's the key to happiness.
Okay.
- Sir, would you like some more snacks?
- No, Chhaya. I'm full.
- Thank you.
- Okay, sir.
- So, Chintan...
- Yes, sir.
that's all for today, okay?
You will never get lucky here
in Ujjain, got it?
- Mr. Dubey, wait a minute.
- Yes?
Vijay, this is Mr. Atmaram.
We used to work in the same bank.
He's an excellent artist.
He uses a typewriter to make sketches.
- Typewriter?
- Yeah.
What's your blog called?
Typewriter... sketch...
Right.
Why are you staring at his face?
Look at his art.
- Did you make that with a typewriter?
- Yes.
Wow! That's amazing!
By the way, have we met before?
Ujjain is a small city, sir.
We must've bumped into each other
in some alley or neighborhood.
No, not in Ujjain.
Somewhere outside.
Where have I seen you?
Ratlam or Devas?
My daughters relocated there after
marriage. I often go there to visit them.
No, not Devas.
Airplane.
We met on the airplane.
- Haven't we?
- Doctor...
Atmaram never even boarded a train,
and you're talking about an airplane?!
He has never been beyond Ratlam,
that too, by road.
I see.
Then there must be
some kind of confusion. Sorry.
Not at all, no need to be sorry.
Maybe you saw someone else
who looked like me.
There is no dearth of ordinary-looking
people in this country, after all.
- Okay, see you.
- Okay.
Come on.
Glory to Mother Goddess.
Bless us with compassion and virtue.
Glory to Mother Goddess.
Bless us with benevolence...
Yes, son.
- I just spoke with Iqbal.
- Here.
- Mukesh, let me...
- Yeah.
Quickly select a cloth
for your jacket and give it to him.
Will he stitch it in a day?
Yes. And listen, come home soon.
- Both the sisters have arrived.
- Yes, I am coming.
Dear Grandpa, you've turned 70 today.
- Not today, two days later.
- Yes, but we have to prepare now, right?
Grandpa, you've turned 70 today.
But everyone says
you don't look a day over 60,
and that's because you cycle every day.
- Bravo. Amazing.
- Grandpa is Superman. He's Superman.
Continue, Honey.
Noble thoughts.
Grandpa, your noble thoughts,
virtuous lifestyle,
and inclination toward spirituality
inspire all of us.
- I see.
- You really are a great personality.
- Bravo. Very nice.
- Amazing.
- Very nice.
- Guys, I am a simple man.
Why are you all hellbent
on making me great?
No, Dad.
Whether you believe it or not...
- you're nothing short of God for us.
- Hey!
Why are you crying all the time? Dad...
is obviously great.
That's why he is
a role model for all of us.
- All right.
- No, Dad, you are great.
Okay.
Your emotions dictate the way you see God.
- Right?
- Right.
Son-in-law, I'll take your leave now.
It's time for bed.
I have to wake up early tomorrow.
- Okay. Good night, Dad.
- Good night.
Hey!
Okay.
The drums are pounding
It's celebration time
Here comes the magician
Witness the magic show
Colorful moments
Shining moments
Millions of stars twinkling in the sky
Unique bodies, flexible bodies
How can one not lose his heart?
I lost my mind, lost my soul
I lost my life, lost my world
Lost my senses, lost my passion
Now, I've lost everything
O crazy one
Yes, Rafiq. It's not his wedding,
it's his birthday.
Don't go overboard.
- No.
- I found you!
Kids, calm down. I am on the phone.
What were you saying?
Listen to me, we don't need a DJ.
All you need to do
is decorate the house nicely today.
Okay? I want the whole house lit up well.
Got it? See you.
Atmaram, jalebi!
Trying to act smart, Devdas?
If you want a jalebi, then say, "Father."
Is he your age to call him by his name?
If you want sweets,
then call him "Father."
- Come on, say it.
- Father, jalebi.
- Father, jalebi.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Now, he's learned his lesson.
Mukesh, give him one.
- Yes.
- Come on.
Only Golu is left now.
What have you done?
I've been telling you
to go play outside...
but you just don't listen!
Is this a place to hide? Idiot!
What's the matter? It's okay.
Thank God he didn't hurt himself.
Call it the grace of God.
Even God is helpless in front of him!
Idiot!
Oh, God. I knew these kids
were up to some mischief.
Dad really adored this picture of Mom.
He would gaze at it for hours.
We'll have to get it reframed
before Dad comes back.
What happened?
There's something taped at the back.
Look, there's something at the back.
Passport?!
Yeah, it's a passport.
Hold this.
- What happened?
- What is it?
What happened?
Hey!
What...
What happened? Tell me.
Did Dad go to Thailand
three years ago?
- Thailand?!
- No.
Thailand?!
Why?
What a great man!
- What a nobleman!
- Listen, brother.
Being discreet is a virtue, right?
I suggest we just let it slide.
We have nothing to do with it.
This is Dad's personal matter.
- What can we do about it? Nothing...
- What can we do?
Accuse him of treason!
Charge him with IPC 420!
Mom's painting got damaged,
the one Dad made himself.
- Yes.
- The frame is shattered.
This is a family matter!
Brother...
Here you go. Put it back.
Make a bigger frame and put it up.
- Brother...
- Brother, listen!
Make a massive frame!
- Dad...
- Brother...
-"Your emotions dictate
-What happened?
the way you see God!" Yeah, right!
I'm telling you,
he's going to raise a ruckus about it.
Brother... breakfast was ready.
Yes. Brother-in-law, at least
eat something before you leave.
I won't even have a drop of water here.
I didn't expect this from Dad.
- Our deceased mother...
- No, please don't cry.
Yeah, I'm coming!
Sister, even your husband
goes to Bangkok for work.
Keep an eye on him.
Dad...
Look, brother, even dealers from
our company go to Bangkok every year.
Not everyone goes there driven by lust.
Maybe Dad...
Does this look like a spiritual
trip to you? I've lost my mind!
How could he do this at this age?
Age... what do you mean by how?
Doesn't he have any
consideration for his old age?
- I'll talk to him.
- Listen, calm down.
The boy has to be from the Navy.
Where did that dry fruit guy go?
Such a big lie!
Listen, Mukesh.
Dad is right here. Why don't we...
This is Ujjain, Dad!
Here, news spreads faster than fire.
People will gossip all over town.
Your anger is justified, son.
But even I have some desires.
Such perverted desires at this age?!
Desires should be according
to one's age, don't you think?
How old will you turn tomorrow, Dad?
You'll be turning 70...
not 17.
Your grandson Ritvik is turning 17.
Have some shame.
What is the difference
between Ritvik and me?
Except for life experiences.
I led a prosperous life
with your mother...
and she showered me with abundance.
And one day, she was gone.
I was all alone.
And eventually, I realized
that I had grown old.
Here you go, Devdas.
- Doctor...
- It's not too hot now.
- tell us what erectile dysfunction is.
- Okay?
-Well, erection,
-He has too many tantrums.
meaning, the hardening of the penis,
also known as the stiffness of your penis.
Due to some reason,
if your penis is unable to get hard,
then it's called erectile dysfunction.
Okay.
- And it's a very common problem.
- Mr. Dubey!
Studies claim
that one-third of the population
- Mr. Dubey, are you asleep?
- has faced erectile dysfunction.
Mr. Dubey!
There are three types
of erectile dysfunction.
The first one...
Mr. Dubey, I've been shouting
out loud for so long,
but not a sound from you!
Hasn't Anu returned from school yet?
...meaning absence of sensation
or the lack of hardening of the penis.
What happens here is
the uneven flow of blood to the penis...
It's...
It's nothing.
Anu must be on her way.
What do you need?
Nothing. The milk curdled.
- Okay.
- So, I wanted some milk.
That's all right. I'll give you some.
I'll get it. Sit.
Wait. I'll get it.
TYPES OF ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION
LACK OF ERECTION IN PENIS
Here. Careful, it's hot.
Our TV hasn't been working for a few days.
I wonder why.
By the way, where's Gonu?
He's sleeping inside.
Okay. See you.
You can continue watching... your program.
Where have you been?
No calls, no messages?
And why aren't you picking up my calls?
Why aren't you showing up
for religious programs?
Is everything all right, Dubey?
Did something happen at home?
It has sugar.
Are you going to tell me or not?
What can I say?
I'm facing a serious issue.
I'm struggling with erectile dysfunction.
This is why I wasn't telling you.
Is it completely gone,
or is there some current still left in it?
No, it comes and goes.
Then, mister...
be ready for a complete
power failure any time now.
Will you ever say anything
positive about me?
I am being positive.
It's not a problem, it's a solution.
- This is a solution?!
- Of course.
Anyway,
what's the use of virility at this age?
It'll only make your mind
digress from important things.
No...
You're right, but...
you know I spent half my life...
without any pleasure.
Now, before I kick the bucket,
I want to do it one more time.
Do what?
Intercourse.
What? Have you lost your mind?
The future is unpredictable.
My body might give up on me.
It isn't helping you now either.
Your condition is like this bulb.
Off-on.
It's better that you keep
this sacred rosary.
- No...
- Come on, take it.
- What good will this do?
- What good?
It will calm your digressing mind.
And chant morning and night.
And next time, you have to accompany me
for the religious sermon, understood?
I had one friend...
but even he didn't understand my feelings.
MASCULINE WEAKNESS
MEET DR. KUMAR. SEXOLOGIST.
I didn't know what to do.
As time flew by...
my problem...
my problem got worse.
It seemed like everyone
in the world was happy...
but my share of happiness was over.
ATMARAM DUBEY
UJJAIN
Hey, mister!
Over here!
What are you looking for?
Careful! The water's too deep!
I am talking to you!
Once you jump down,
there's no way to come back up.
Careful! Look, there's no need
to give up your life!
There's no issue in the world that
I don't have a solution for. Careful.
Okay? I am coming! Yes! Stay there!
Statue!
Did your children throw you
out of the house?
Fight with the missus?
Financial issues?
Just let your feelings out, Uncle.
You'll feel very light. Believe me.
Open up.
You'll not make fun of me, will you?
Why will I make fun of you?
You're my father's age!
I have erectile dysfunction.
What's that, Uncle?
Loss of stiffness in the penis.
I see.
I see.
Got it.
Like a cricket ball that gets old...
and swings uncontrollably.
What problem is this?
How sharp are your ears!
Mind your own business.
So, Uncle, what else?
I've lived 22 years
without the slightest of pleasure.
My wife was bedridden for 21 years.
Paralysis.
She was my best friend.
She died last year.
If that grief wasn't enough...
I was faced with this problem.
A glass of milk
with genuine Shilajit... daily!
- Then just watch...
- It turning into steel.
- Hard steel!
- Priest!
By the way, guys, what advice
are you two giving these days?
We can't even find poison nowadays,
and you're talking about magic potions!
Uncle...
I understand your problem.
I totally understand.
Just forget about this issue.
Meet me tomorrow at 10:30 a.m.
under the clock tower.
Santulan Kumar will find a solution...
that will permanently solve your problem.
Are you making fun of me?
Call me a dog
if you think I'm making fun of you.
Sharp at 10:30, okay?
Uncle!
Over here!
Come on!
Come here!
Straight to the mansion now, brother?
Yes, straight there.
Be comfortable, Uncle. Relax.
Treat this as your own ride.
Meet my friend!
The Pappi Lahiri of Ujjain!
Bandmaster Salim!
- By the way, Mr. Santulan.
- Yes?
Where are we going?
You stole the words off my mouth, Uncle!
You know Khan Baba...
the bodybuilder with a record?
You don't know him, Uncle?!
He's world-famous in all of Ujjain!
He became a father at the age of 80.
Eighty-five to be precise.
See! I discounted five years!
I mean he's still a player at this age.
He is as virile as a young boy.
People come from far and wide
for his secret formula.
I'll get it for you.
- Right, Salim?
- Absolutely right.
Does he come home now?
No.
He doesn't even answer my calls now.
Why should this innocent child suffer
because of your quarrel?
Forget about it.
Santulan, take it.
Maybe it's someone like me seeking help.
Yes.
Well...
Where the hell are you?
Whenever I have customers at the shop,
you've got to pee?!
The shaving cream is drying up,
and you're busy watering the hole!
Yeah, hello! Yeah!
You always make trouble
during business hours!
Are you calling from abroad?
I can't hear you!
I see!
I want you back at the shop
in two minutes. Got it?
How much longer?
He's on his way.
Come on, Uncle.
I know this family very well.
So, there will be no trouble at all.
I know all of them.
See, there he is.
Bodybuilder sir! Hello!
Sir.
We wanted to meet Khan Baba.
What for?
Nothing special.
This is my friend Mr. Atmaram Dubey.
He was the senior typist
at the district bank. He's retired now.
Well...
he's keen on batting on the pitch again,
but his body isn't allowing him.
If we could get him that secret formula,
it would do the trick.
The formula!
- Only Dad can give you that.
- Where can I find him?
- He's inside.
- All right.
But be careful.
He is short-tempered.
Wife...
Don't cry.
No, sir!
First things first,
a huge congratulations to you.
I mean, big time.
What a performance even at this age!
You're incredible, sir!
I am impressed.
The thing is...
one can't cover the sun with sand.
Tell me your problem.
The problem...
Sir...
Sir...
the problem is severe.
Well, one wants to perform
just like you...
but is unable to.
The player is eager
to play another innings
but has to sit out like the 12th man.
He hasn't got the power anymore, sir.
- Am I getting through to you...
- You mean the problem is down here!
It's not here, the problem is with
the old model sitting over there.
It's all good here.
When was the last time
you got on the pitch?
I... I mean...
When was the last time?
Sir, 20 years, give or take.
The sword remains sharp
only when it's put to use.
You didn't use it for so long...
and now it's become rusty.
The nerves are jammed.
They need to be unlocked.
With a sword?!
With raw onions.
Eat lots of onions.
It gives you masculine power.
The heat from the onions
will open up the nerves that are jammed.
And exercise.
Do as many sit-ups as you can.
And watch the effect in ten days.
You will feel like jumping on rooftops.
But you must eat at least
10-12 onions every day.
Like this.
Dad...
Grandpa is calling.
Now leave.
My father is calling me.
And don't forget onions.
Onions in, weakness out.
His father's still alive?!
Amazing.
What's wrong, Dad?
If you don't like this one, shall I
get a different dish made for you?
No, that's not it.
Is there a problem?
Prob...
Problem?
There is a problem.
I've had a tingling sensation
in my right leg for a few days.
Someone advised me to eat
raw onions as a cure. That's it.
I was worrying without any reason.
Look, Atma,
stop eating freaking onions...
and try the sacred ash instead.
Leave it.
This is beyond your comprehension.
Fine. Go ahead and fulfill your desire.
I'll also see how many beds you break!
Brother, at this age, the body
and mind don't work in tandem.
- Mine do.
- They do?
Then, why are you
eating so many onions?
Mine do, he says!
We live in a society,
not in some other world.
There are some rules here.
Why...
Do I see these shadows?
Why does
This loneliness keep growing?
A part of me
Still has hopes
A part of me
Is dreaming
The earth under me quivers
The abode that dwells in my heart
I am going astray on this lonely path
What path is this?
Fill your wet eyes
With the memories of the past
Don't let this distance prevail
It's lonely
This path is lonely
Eighty-one.
Eighty-two.
MR. SANTULAN
Oh!
Yes, Santu.
To what do I owe this call?
What's the matter, Uncle?
You're panting so much.
I guess you're making out
in full swing!
No, I've been doing sit-ups
for the last ten days.
And I've eaten so many onions
that even my sweat smells
like onions now.
You see, Uncle, to gain some,
you have to lose some.
No, you're right.
I am trying my best.
And I get confidence
when I talk to you.
No, Uncle, don't say such things.
Just give us the good news soon, Uncle.
- I'll be waiting, okay?
- Okay.
- Okay, Uncle. Good night.
- Hello?
You're great!
I could smell the onions over the phone.
Why are you screwing with the old man?
Leave him alone.
He's a simple, honest man.
Even I am a simple man.
Look, Guddu,
you have a television for entertainment,
and I have guys like him.
It's like watching a live show.
This pain that flows through my eyes
Is momentary
This deluge won't stay forever
The sun will shine again
This cloud is light
I know what's going to happen tomorrow
Someday, it will appear before me
With a smile on its face
It's back!
It's back! All hail Santulan!
Glory to Santu! I got it back!
Wow!
- Dad...
- I got it back!
- What's wrong with Dad?
- Let me check.
- A girl as delicate as a flower...
- Dad, what happened?
- Open the door, Dad!
- Open the door!
What...
What's wrong, Mukesh?
That's what I am asking you.
- Why are you screaming at this hour?
- Onions!
- Current.
- Did you get an electric shock?
No... it's back.
Where?
Remember, I told you
- about the tingling in my right leg?
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- Yes. What about that?
It's completely gone.
- Gone?
- Anu!
- Anu!
- Yes, Auntie!
Why is Mr. Dubey screaming
in the middle of the night?
It's nothing, Auntie.
- He got his current back.
- Current?!
Not the electric current.
His leg which had gone numb
got its sensation back.
Oh, God! I was scared out of my wits!
Now that he's all right,
tell him to stop wandering
about on his cycle.
Now, go back to sleep,
and let us sleep as well!
ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION
Hello, Uncle.
You'll live a hundred years.
I was just thinking about you.
- Yeah, just a minute.
- I've been thinking about you
since last night.
I don't know how to thank you.
No need to thank me, Uncle.
Just make the mission a success,
and that will be my thank you.
The mission's been accomplished.
What do you mean? You mean...
- You mean an explosion happened?!
- Not just...
It was a double explosion!
I just wanted to thank you.
To hell with thank you,
we're going to celebrate, Uncle!
You'll have to throw
a party this evening!
Yeah, sure. I'll throw a party.
I'll tell everyone at home
that I'm going for a religious sermon.
Okay. See you in the evening, then.
In the sermon.
There'll be other rituals as well.
The other day, when we went
to see that bodybuilder together...
I knew we had a strong
bond with each other.
Uncle...
what is it called...
desolation... annihilation...
- Solution.
- Yes, solution.
Now that your problem is solved,
have you thought about what you will do?
What's there to think?
I'll explain what he's trying to say.
He means to say...
- do you feel like doing it now?
- Yes.
Yeah?
I mean...
I do...
but there are rules and regulations.
We live in a society.
It doesn't suit me at this age.
Uncle, I won't comment on that,
but Phulwanti is Rakesh's good friend.
Right, Rakesh?
I can call her right now if you want.
Absolutely, Uncle.
Should I call her, or will you?
Here, in Ujjain?
I understand what you're trying to say.
Look, Uncle, your right hand
shouldn't know what the left's up to.
That's Santulan aka a balancing act.
Just say yes.
And we are there to look after him, right?
Shall I fix it?
Uncle.
APNA LODGE
Where were you?
Even the cops in Hindi films
would've arrived before you.
My grandson had diarrhea,
so I got caught up.
Stop wasting time, Uncle.
Go straight to room no. 108.
She is waiting for you.
You see, overthinking
weakens the intention.
- Yeah.
- So, don't think too much.
- Room no. 108.
- 108.
- Uncle!
- 108.
Uncle, you?! Here?!
Didn't you recognize me?
Gullu. Girish.
- Mr. Agarwal's son.
- Santulan!
Hey!
Where the hell are those dogs?
I'll break their legs if I catch them.
That scoundrel made me wait
for two hours.
Tell me, Uncle.
- Is there no value of my time?
- Yes.
If you had booked me for hanky-panky...
would you be late?
Are you out of your mind?
Spewing vulgar nonsense
in front of a decent man!
Dad, what are you doing here?
- Manohar's son has opened a lodge.
- Hey, old man, where are you going? Wait!
- But I didn't know...
- Where are you going?
I don't know.
Hey, Uncle! Stop, you...
How are you, Uncle?
Hello, little one. How are you?
By the way, did you give it a thought?
Phulwanti. Rakesh was asking.
No, Santu.
I thought about her all night...
- Okay.
- but it's not possible here.
If anyone sees me,
I'll be as good as dead.
It's nothing like that, Uncle.
Just tell me, do you want it or not?
- What?
- Do you want it or not?
Great. I'll handle everything else.
If not here, then someplace else.
Hey, Atma!
Carry on, Uncle. We'll catch up later.
Okay. Okay, Uncle.
Let's go. Bye, little one.
How are you?
Santu, who was that uncle?
He's my latest plaything.
He's a very entertaining man.
Let's go, madam. Please make way.
It's been a while, brother.
Where had you been?
- I wasn't around.
- I see.
I took a trip abroad.
- Bangkok, Thailand.
- Thailand? Bangkok?
Isn't it next to America?
Don't be a fool.
America's on the left,
and Bangkok's on the right.
This side.
It's a ticket to paradise.
What women!
You continue.
And the sandwich massage
is just out of this world!
Sandwich...
You mean doing it while you eat?!
No.
They become the bread...
and you lie flat like a patty.
And then, both of them... full...
What? You mean not even underwear?!
What do you even know?
Girls abroad are very scantily dressed.
Right, sir?
You seem to know better, you tell him.
No... I mean I have seen it.
Santu, will you keep quiet for a minute?
Mr. Jugnu, please continue.
They squashed me like a cream biscuit.
Oh, my! It was heaven!
They cream you out... totally!
Brother, I'll be right back.
I've got to rush to the bathroom.
- Get lost.
- Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
If just hearing this has this impact...
he'll definitely die if he goes there.
Russian, American, Englandian.
- Englandian?!
- Yes, they have every type available.
I'm telling you, one should definitely
go to Thailand at least once.
How can we go to Thailand?
Can anyone go?
Yes, anyone can go.
All you need is a passport and money.
Off you go.
Look, neither will anyone recognize you
nor will they remember you there.
Imagine you're soaring
like a free bird in the sky.
No, Santu, it's out of the question.
I've never been beyond Ratlam.
How can I go to Thailand? No.
How can you give up now, Uncle?
See, life has given
you a second chance.
Put it to good use,
or it will go to waste.
I can't do it. No.
- You can, Uncle. I'll help you do it.
- No.
At least, keep the card.
You see, Uncle, I am just
speaking as your well-wisher.
Because I've seen it myself.
Your efforts, your struggle...
the blood and sweat you put in
to get to this point.
That's why, Uncle,
your efforts shouldn't go to waste.
I know... you only want what's best for me.
Then give it a thought for my sake.
A trip to Thailand.
That's all I had to say, Uncle.
I'll hang up now. Good night.
Looks like you need a haircut.
Tell me something, son.
Can we watch anything in the world
on your computer?
Yes, Grandpa.
Just type whatever you want to see,
and press enter.
- Simple.
- You mean any place?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Bye, Grandpa. Bye, Gonu.
Now, watch. Mr. Dubey will quickly
go inside and bolt the door.
- Really?
- Yes.
Panchal Auntie.
Can you look after Gonu
for a couple of hours?
You have to do nothing.
I've fed him.
If he starts crying,
just give him this lollipop.
Yes. Okay.
Namaste.
Someone definitely comes
in from the backdoor.
Really?
B-A-N...
G-I-R...
Here's Grandpa's little child.
Knock harder.
Oh, no.
Oh, no!
Yes. Coming.
Who is it? What do you...
He's wet his pants.
I've been pounding
on the door for so long!
I was in the bathroom.
Bathroom?
Oh, yeah! Come, baby! Come!
Come on, baby.
I guess someone's calling
you from the bathroom.
No, believe me,
I am alone in the house...
Oh, yeah!
No, I...
What is this?
Is this why I got you a computer, so
you could watch these vulgar things?
What?
The father couldn't even aim,
but the son is a shooter.
I've never gone beyond Indore, and
prince charming wants to go to Bangkok.
You want to go to Bangkok?!
- Dad, I'm telling the truth...
- Shut up!
Is this browser history lying?
Do you think I am stupid?
I'll slap you if you don't tell me
who's filling your mind with this filth!
I've been telling you
to get the internet disconnected.
Few kids have been caught
in school as well, Dad.
What's wrong, Mukesh?
Why are you screaming?
Even the neighbors can hear you.
Kids these days, Auntie, what can I say?
I got him this computer
for his studies...
and he's using it
to watch obscene things.
There's a power cut again.
Good God.
Close all the doors and windows.
I read in the newspaper this morning.
There's a new gang in Ujjain.
First, they cut off the power supply
and then rob the entire house.
Take care of your jewelry.
Good God,
all the doors of my house are open.
I am going.
Dad, calm down.
Just do me a favor.
Get his hair cut this short tomorrow,
military style.
And you... act your age.
Grandpa...
did you watch anything
on the computer?
Did you, Grandpa?
Get some sleep, dear.
Who tells us what to do
at what age, Grandpa?
You see, dear...
every generation tells
the next generation.
My father told me.
And did you tell my father?
Yes.
Why?
Exactly.
I made a mistake.
WHEREVER LIFE TAKES YOU, GO FEARLESSLY
LIFE WILL GIVE YOU PRECIOUS EXPERIENCES
Santu, I thought about your suggestion.
But... I'm in a dilemma.
What will I tell my family?
Of course, I can't tell them,
and only the crooks lie.
Look, Uncle.
There's no problem in the world
that cannot be solved.
We'll find a solution
to this issue as well... together.
I'm just happy
that you've made up your mind.
I mean you made me proud, Uncle.
I salute your courage.
It's the best decision you've made.
Honestly,
I want to come along with you,
and both of us should
just have a blast together.
What are you saying, Santu?
Aren't you married?
Trust is crucial in a marriage.
It's the bond of love.
How can you break that?
No... I was just saying
it for the heck of it.
I didn't mean it.
I'll be here. You go. I'll be here.
You give me courage,
otherwise, I've not even seen
an airplane in my life.
What are you saying, Uncle? I'll get
you a seat right next to the pilot.
No need for all that.
Shall I call the travel agent, then?
Let's get your passport made.
You'll find her there, Uncle.
Brother, just say yes
without any hesitation.
It's the best offer one can get.
We're all so attached to Uncle now.
Everyone said the trip
won't be the same without him.
And this is
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
You're right.
Is Uncle Tiwari joining you guys?
- Hey, check the list.
- Yeah, okay.
Tiwari's son and daughter-in-law
are not willing to pay.
Oh, yes. Uncle had told me about it.
I don't have any problem.
Ask Dad. His feet were acting up.
Yes, Uncle had mentioned.
So, Uncle, do you feel better now?
Yes, my leg's absolutely fine now.
- I see.
- But Mukesh...
- Yes?
- I don't feel like going.
Why, Dad? What's wrong?
They're such nice people,
it's such a nice offer. You should go.
No, they are nice people.
Very nice people.
- So?
- But who will drop Chikki off at school...
and look after Gonu all day?
Where will the poor boy stay?
Stop worrying
about these little things, Dad.
Anu.
Anu will take a week off.
It's all decided now.
- I said the same thing, brother.
- Okay.
Uncle, there's no problem
without a solution.
You see... as long as body and soul are
together, collect all the virtues you can.
The future is unpredictable.
Yes, you're absolutely right. Right.
- Just add his name to the list.
- Yeah, sure.
Dad, you should go.
You'll feel good. Right?
- Yeah, we'll make sure he has a good time.
- Yeah.
Slowly, gradually
The fire is slowing down
But thousands of doubts
Are still on my mind
I won't give up
I keep telling my mind
I walk strong on staggering paths
Agreed, my heart has no fun left
Life is a prison
I have to rise at the end of the day
I have to keep moving forward, O traveler
Slowly, gradually
The fire is slowing down
Although several doubts
My mind's like a bird
I left my fears behind
I have changed
I firmly graced the hand of my will
I go wherever my heart takes me
Let your life be controlled by your will
So said the saints
- Mr. Dubey.
- Yes.
Agreed, my heart has no fun left
Life is a prison
Tell Mukesh not to hit him.
Mr. Dubey, don't forget to bring back
holy offerings from your pilgrimage.
Auntie, for that, he has to go first.
Yes.
Let's go.
- Bye.
- Bye, Dad.
Bye, Kanu.
I hope Anu's onion trick
cures my arm as well.
It will.
Remember, Uncle, as soon as you land,
go straight to the address we gave you
- and complete the mission.
- Yes.
Okay, Uncle.
Give me your old phone.
And switch on the new one
as soon as you get there.
He looks so proud.
Ready for your air travel, Uncle?
Santu...
Uncle...
Uncle...
Take care.
I have a...
- For me?
- Yes.
Looks like a degree.
Uncle has made me a doctor.
No...
- And this as well.
- What's all this, Uncle?
Take care, everyone.
- Oh, yes.
- Give me my bag.
Careful.
Open it at leisure.
Take care of yourself, Uncle.
Hey!
Listen to me, guys, stop him.
We still have time.
Someone, please talk to Santu.
Santu!
You've landed the biggest joke ever!
That's the magic of Santulan.
This is mine, and this is yours.
Are you feeling cold?
No. Why?
You've wrapped that
muffler around your face.
- Do you have any relatives in Bangkok?
- No.
Then you should also cover your face.
This flight is to Bangkok.
If someone clicks a selfie
and posts it on the internet,
you'll become popular.
"Dear Santulan, I must have
done some good deeds in my past life
to earn a good friend like you.
I know you must have lost
precious time trying to help me.
I know you have no shortage of money,
and what you did for me
cannot be compensated with money.
Still, here are 5000 rupees as a gift
from one friend to another.
Santulan, your friends are also
- very nice and honest people.
- Oh, wow.
There is only one problem.
You don't look after your health.
I suggest you take up cycling like me.
After all, health is wealth.
Blah-blah, all good, blah-blah.
Forgive me, lots of love.
Yours truly, Atmaram Dubey."
Excellent! Wow!
And this is Uncle's sixer. Look here.
Amazing!
Santu, that looks exactly like you.
- It's my portrait, so it'll look like me.
- Right.
All said and done,
Uncle trusts Santu like family.
Yes.
Little does he know that even
Santu's family cannot trust him.
True.
- Mister!
- Yes?
- Are you from India?
- No, Pakistan.
- Yes?
- No, it's all right.
Even from Pakistan?!
Amazing.
Hey!
- Mister...
- Yes, darling, I am coming.
I am coming. Boom-Boom.
Wait for just one hour. I will be there.
- What are you wearing?
- Mister.
Why have you covered your face?
Baby, hold on. One minute.
You told me to on the plane.
That was on the plane.
Here, no one has the time.
- Okay. I had to go to this place...
- Where?
Pathumwan.
- Pathumwan?
- Yes.
- You go straight.
- Okay.
One-two, one-two.
- Gate.
- Gate.
- Then, take a left.
- Left.
There, you'll find the metro.
Metro?
Metro! Train!
- Okay. Train. Got it.
- Climb down the metro stairs.
- Down.
- Main road.
- Main road.
- Taxi.
- Taxi.
- Pathumwan.
Goodbye. Okay, bye.
Sorry, sweetie. I am coming.
Santu!
I think someone is calling
on Mr. Atmaram's cell phone.
Pick it up.
Hello.
Hello, brother. Santulan speaking.
Greetings. How are you?
Did you all reach? How was the journey?
With the grace of God,
we arrived safe and sound.
Great. That's amazing.
Let me speak to Dad.
Dad? Uncle is freshening up.
I'll ask him to call you once he's back.
That's all right. Not a problem.
And don't worry.
We're taking good care of him.
Yes, you guys are there
to take care of him, so I'm at peace.
You guys carry on with your schedule.
Don't forget to tell
my dad that I had called.
Tell him to call me back.
Shall I hang up?
- Okay.
- Goodbye, brother.
Goodbye.
Taxi.
Taxi.
A real man sways
Without getting high
Driving a taxi to make a living
Is an excuse
Wanna bump into new people
Under the blue sky day and night
Hello, brother.
India? Where do you want to go?
Are you also from India?
I am from everywhere.
I want to go to Pathumwan...
where people go to do that... program!
Artists from all over the world come here
With their art and beat
But one that never tires lasts longer
And he's committed to winning
Are you sure you'll get me there?
First time in Bangkok?
I have a friend Santulan Kumar.
He said that I should visit Bangkok once.
So, I thought...
- I should do a program here as well.
- Careful, bro.
Coming here is easy,
but going back is hard.
- Really?
- Yes.
Like my great-grandfather.
He never went back.
- Are you serious?
- Yes.
Amazing. Did your father
also come here for a program?
No, bro.
Not for any program.
I am the only one
in my family who's interested in music.
By the way,
I have a pretty colorful family.
Listen to this.
Five, four, three, two, one, go!
I have a pretty crooked family photo frame
Great-grandpa was
In the British Army posted in Burma
Married a Thai girl
And settled down in Thailand
Grandpa got stuck marrying a Bangladeshi
My father wedded my mom
Who was a Pakistani
This is my story
And this is Pathumwan 939.
Myself, Zandu Singh the Great,
the voice of Thailand.
If you need to go anywhere
or go sightseeing in Bangkok,
just give me a call.
An artist will be
here for another artist.
All the best for your program.
Perform well.
- Greetings!
- Greetings!
That taxi guy dropped me off here.
He said this is the place. I was...
Greetings!
What?
Do you want to go inside?
Do you mean I'm at the right place?
Please head inside.
It's 200 baht.
- Two hundred.
- Yeah.
You guys are pretty professional.
I just...
The madam on the card, where...
You're welcome.
No, even you are very beautiful.
I didn't mean it like that.
- Please come this way.
- Shall we?
Come this way, please.
God bless you, Uncle.
How was the trip?
Did you visit the address on the card?
I did, but...
Santu, there's some classical
dance program happening here.
Classical dance?
How is that possible, Uncle?
Did you meet the girl on the card or not?
No, I didn't.
And these people charged me
200 baht for the classical program,
- and they're not giving me a refund.
- Uncle's on the line.
And the new cell phone
isn't working either.
I tried switching it
on and off several times,
but there's no network.
How will you get a signal
if you don't insert a SIM card?
We'll have to put in a SIM card.
Yes, I'll get a SIM card.
But please confirm with your friend
where he went for the program.
I'll call him, Uncle.
And call me back on this number.
I am waiting.
Fine, I'll call you back.
I'll call him right now.
Two minutes.
Five minutes. Call coming.
The address on the card is wrong.
It's some classical program
instead of boom-boom.
What?!
- But... who gave you the card?
- Yeah.
My Sai is so innocent
My Sai is so innocent
So saintly and innocent
Mom, Papa's phone is ringing.
My Sai is so innocent
So saintly and innocent
He's the image of God
Sai is so sweet
He's the image of God
Sai is so sweet
He's the image of God...
Mr. Jugnu, there's a slight emergency.
I have a friend who's gone to Bangkok.
He is not able to find your girl there.
Hello?
Hello!
Can you hear me?
Yes. So, brother, I was saying...
that the card that you gave me
for the sandwich massage girl,
I think the address
on that card is wrong.
- Can you reconfirm it again?
- My Sai is so innocent
Brother, give me the address.
- That Englandian.
- My Sai is so innocent
Do you remember or not? Hello.
Hello...
What is it?
My Sai is so innocent
What happened?
You need a sandwich massage?!
- What are you doing?
- Bloody scoundrel!
Stop! Hey!
You need a sandwich massage?!
- You will break my jaw.
- I don't care!
Hey...
- I'll give you a sandwich massage.
- Have you lost your mind?
- Sandwich massage!
- What are you doing? Hey!
- I'll give you a sandwich massage.
- Hey, stop!
- Mom!
- I'll give you a sandwich massage.
- Wait.
- Mom, don't do it!
- Please don't!
- I'll give you a sandwich massage.
Uncle's all alone out there, and...
Wait a minute! Listen!
Speak up!
There's so much pressure at work
that I hardly get time to drink water.
Do you think I'll go
to Bangkok to eat sandwiches?
- Have you lost your mind?
- I have lost my mind?!
Oh, God! You shattered
the photo frame completely...
Oh, God!
What?! I am not a prostitute, okay?
What is this? Would you ask such
a question to someone of your own?
Learn to respect the other person, got it?
Don't ever call me again!
I cannot do this. Sorry. I just can't.
- Mister! Listen!
- I'm sorry.
Did you dial the wrong number?
Did you dial the number on the card?
Mister!
How is this possible?
Mister, can you dial
this number on the card?
Dial... the number... on the card.
Please, brother.
You broke my shop.
Rascal, I'll slit you in two pieces,
or my name isn't Jugnu!
Stop, you rascal!
Run!
Run as fast as you can!
Hey!
What has he done this time?
I will make you run
all the way to Bangkok now!
You can run as much as you want.
- You...
- Catch him! Stop!
Hey, stop!
Stop! Catch him!
I will not spare you today.
Hey, rickshaw, catch that guy.
There! He went that way!
The day I lay my hands on you,
I'll chop your limbs off!
What did he do this time?
Had I been to Bangkok for real,
it would still make sense.
- What do you mean?
- I mean...
-that day, these tour company guys,
-Yeah?
those who send people to Bangkok,
gave me a card.
For the Thai massage parlor.
And I gave that card to this idiot
at your shop as a joke.
But he called my wife
and spewed bullshit about me.
- Where is that scoundrel?
- I don't know.
Find him!
Santulan!
Hello.
Uncle, I guess your new number's working.
I thought so.
Well, Santu,
that's what I called to tell you.
I met a gentleman
who knows the address.
He's taking me with him in his car.
Who does that in this day and age?
Santu, I have high hopes that, this time,
the mission will be accomplished.
Okay, I think I have reached the location.
I'm hanging up now.
Hey, who is this new catch?
Mistake.
Police!
Police coming!
Police coming!
What are you doing, madam? Let go of me!
I don't even know anyone, mister.
Save me! No!
Oldie bro.
If you had said boom-boom
instead of program...
there wouldn't have been any confusion.
Sit.
- Sit.
- No.
Sit.
The entire world comes here for this.
No need to feel embarrassed.
Now, you take rest in the room.
Tomorrow, I will take you for boom-boom.
And yes...
you won't need this anymore.
Goodbye.
ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION NEW
What's the matter, Uncle?
You sound tired.
Seems like you're sweating
it out in Bangkok.
Hello?
Hello! Uncle, are you crying?
I can't do it.
Hello?
I'm getting punished...
for having such desires at this age.
I'm so lonely here.
I made a huge mistake by coming here.
What... what mistake, Uncle?
You're making me anxious now.
Tell me what happened, Uncle.
The guy who I thought was a gentleman...
turned out to be a crook!
He had an entire gang.
He wasn't alone.
No, okay, fine. What's done is done.
Are you all right?
Are you hurt?
That woman tried to snatch my bag,
but I didn't let go.
I didn't let go. I fell to the ground.
Thank God, the police siren scared
those scoundrels, and they fled.
No, Uncle, nothing will happen to you.
Baba Pehelwan is with us.
Santu... it was terrible.
Terrible, I tell you.
What happened with you
is in the past now, but...
let me give you small good news.
I found out about this terrific place.
Baba Plaza.
I can't do it.
I want to come back.
- I want to come back, Santu.
- Okay, listen.
You cycled 80 kilometers
every day, didn't you?
- Yes.
- You did, right?
You even made a solo trip
to Bangkok on a plane.
Listen to me, Uncle.
You have to be strong, okay?
And just finish this chapter,
- and then return.
- Okay.
No need to be afraid.
Our prayers are with you.
If you need anything, just call me.
I will land up in Bangkok, I mean it.
Take care.
That was terrible, Dad.
But hopefully,
nothing worse happened later?
Hello, mister!
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Boom-boom
Hello, mister new-new!
Got something for eew-eew
Come and see the view-view
Hello, mister new-new!
Get into the queue-queue
You will get your due-due
Innocent, sad fool and smart, hot girl
I am ready, come have a blast
Why wag your tail in all directions?
Sway and have fun
Strike now
This is true love
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Boom
Kaboom-boom
Wrong number!
You'll have to play with a hockey stick.
Ladyboy.
The treasure chest is open
Take whatever you please
Do what you like
You don't have to say sorry
Baby, what's your story?
Let me take your worry
Boy, you won't be sorry
When you're with me
I am the party
Let's get lost in a corner, you and me
I am ready, come have a blast
Why wag your tail in all directions?
Sway and have fun
Strike now
This is true love
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Boom
Kaboom-boom
Do you wanna boom-boom?
-Boom-Boom
-Kaboom-boom
-Boom-Boom
-Kaboom-boom
-Boom-Boom
-Kaboom-boom
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Nobody, yeah, nobody
Wanna leave my company
Come to me
Yeah, come to me
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Is one hour enough?
Can it be arranged for the whole night?
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Boom
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Come to me
Yeah, come to me
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Come on, let's take a shower together.
First, you take a shower. I'll go later.
Okay.
You go.
Wake up. Come on, wake up. Wake up.
Hello, Uncle!
What took you so long to answer the call?
Mukesh is on the line.
I am putting it on speakerphone.
Hello, Dad. Greetings.
God bless you.
All good at home?
Yes. We haven't talked
since you left, Dad.
All good? Hello?
I can't hear you, Dad!
I can hear you properly.
All good at home?
- Anu...
- Yes, thanks to your blessings.
The kids miss you.
Dad, hope your pilgrimage is going well.
Yes.
Great. I'm glad your trip is fruitful.
And Dad, is your leg okay?
That's not a problem at all now.
It's all good. I am having fun.
Well, that's a good thing.
I think you're busy
with the religious program.
So, you carry on. We'll talk later.
Goodbye.
- Hello, Uncle.
- Yes?
So, tell me...
any luck at Baba Plaza?
I did meet a very beautiful girl.
But...
unfortunately,
I couldn't do it at the last minute.
Why? Was she asking for more money?
No, my mind digressed.
I started thinking
about the poor girl's life.
What must be her reason
to do such a thing?
That too, with an old man like me.
She does it with older
and uglier-looking men than you.
Yes. That's why they are called
sex workers. That's their job.
Don't try to be a social worker.
But they are also human beings.
I mean, how can anyone do
it without emotions or feelings?
What feelings, Uncle? You're not
trying to find a bride, are you?
Don't waste all our efforts now.
And think about us, Uncle.
I'll be heartbroken.
Do you want me to cry?
Fine, Santu, I'll try again.
Enough trying, Uncle.
You have to get the job done now.
Yeah. I mean, at least give
sandwich massage a try. You might like it.
I'll try.
That's the spirit, Uncle.
I have a meeting.
See you later.
You take care,
and take this job seriously.
Okay? Keep eating onions.
Okay, goodbye. All the best.
It was a call from abroad.
- Really?
- Thailand, Bangkok.
What is your age?
- Fifty-six.
- Fifty-six!
You might need to go
there in a few years.
You can ask me.
I'll help you get there.
I want to go. Will you send me?
- Mr. Jugnu, I... Bless me.
- Don't insult me!
I'll make you experience
Bangkok in Ujjain.
Let me give you a Thai Massage for free.
What did you tell my wife?
Sandwich massage?
Sandwich, right?
- No, I mean...
- I'll make a sandwich out of you!
- Brother!
- Don't!
- Let go of him.
- Listen to me.
Brother, let's take this elsewhere.
People are watching.
Elsewhere?
Brother, let go of him.
Hey!
Get away!
- What is he doing?
- Move!
- Jugnu!
- Let go of him!
- Mr. Jugnu!
- You just wait...
- I'll show you.
- Brother, that's enough.
You ruined my life!
Why did you tell my wife?
Why did you tell my wife? Answer me!
Rita was a Russian girl.
She used to call herself a bag packer.
She had old ties with India.
I am a wanderer
I am a wanderer
Or just a star in the sky
Amazing!
You sing so well.
Do you know the entire song?
This is Mr. Raj Kapoor's song.
Raj Kapoor.
Yes. He was pretty famous in Russia.
You know the entire song.
Oh my God!
I am a wanderer
-Or just a star in the sky
-Or just a star in the sky
- I am a wanderer.
- I am a wanderer.
Rita's grandma named Rita
after Nargis' character in Awara.
And Rita became such a wanderer that
by the time I met her,
she had been to 28 countries.
Now, she wanted to go to Khao Sok lake.
- Very beautiful.
- You don't know?!
I'll show you.
Look at this.
Khao Sok.
It's awesome.
You see before?
This mountain?
Forget about the mountains,
I saw the sea for the first time today.
- Are you alone?
- What?
- Alone?
- Alone?
Completely alone.
First time traveling out of India.
First time plane journey... yes.
That...
What?
I say wrong?
No... you not wrong.
Okay, what side is your hotel?
Hotel?
Walking. One-two, one-two.
And where is your hotel?
- Hotel?
- Yes.
Searching hostel.
Room-sharing.
Room-sharing?
But why?
You share me.
My room. You share.
You want me...
to share your room?!
- Really?
- I mean it, really.
You are so cute, Atma.
What happened?
No...
You...
I wanted to ask...
You...
travel all over the world.
Why?
Experience.
How do you manage the expenses?
Income?
Okay... I am a travel blogger.
Travel...
write...
internet.
Yeah, the internet! Yeah!
Experience... is my income.
Experience is your income?!
Brother... what are you doing?
- Hang up.
- Let go of me, Guddu.
I want to talk to Uncle.
I want to apologize to him.
If you're so hellbent on it, then you
can apologize to him when he comes back.
Have you lost your mind?
Venting your frustration on someone else!
Just because Jugnu beat you
black and blue!
It's not about Jugnu.
When one tries to make fun of others...
- their own life turns into a cruel joke.
- Oh, man!
I have a yoga mat.
- It's okay.
- But...
Hello, Santu.
Uncle...
Hello.
- Uncle, I want to...
- Yes.
Uncle, I just want to...
Wait a minute.
I am going tomorrow early morning.
Not wake you up.
Good night.
It was nice meeting you.
Yes, Santu?
I was saying,
are you with a woman, Uncle?
Yes... it's a Russian girl.
She's just like us. Simple.
She... needed a room for the night.
And I said my room's available.
Come over.
Uncle...
I have something to tell you.
Go ahead.
You are a very naive man...
and this world's a dirty place.
You trust people easily.
But not everyone has
a pure heart like you, Uncle.
What I mean to say is...
be careful of that Russian, Uncle.
I've heard dozens of stories...
where girls like her
befriend men like you
and rob them of everything.
Even their passport.
She might not be one of them,
but I am just warning you.
Hello... it's Atmaram speaking.
Hi, Atma.
Your passport is under the pillow.
Check under the pillow.
Hello?
Thank God.
Can I make a suggestion?
If you don't want to do boom-boom...
then go back to India.
That's the right thing to do.
I was telling you, Mukesh,
Dad can never do such a thing.
If someone else were in his place...
maybe one of us, would we have
the courage to tell the truth?
Brother, I would have cooked up
some imaginary story.
Well, I can't vouch for you.
Neither have I done nor will I do
something wrong in my life
- that forces me to lie.
- Yeah, but...
What wrong did he do?
Dad, tell him. Did you do anything wrong?
Atma?
What are you doing here?
You say...
experience.
Khao Sok lake.
I also...
What's this new experience?
Feels like
Flutes are playing in my heart
Like a clever hunter
There was a heavy burden on my chest
This cruel one
My heart was never like this
It was barren
It feels alive again
My heart's beating again
My heart's beating again
Says everywhere I go
My heart's beating again
Says my heart
It's like
I've grown wings
I can feel my heartbeat again
What has happened?
Something new
Now, I see the beauty of the world
The fun along the way
I keep walking forward
And stretch myself
My heart's beating again
Says everywhere I go
My heart's beating again
Says my heart
I've written in my blog
that India is the only country in
the world where sex is considered sacred.
There, since ancient times,
love and all its expressions are believed
to be a medium to achieve salvation.
But now... it's not like this.
If sex was actually a medium
to attain salvation,
then I wouldn't have come to Thailand
secretly lying to my family.
Rita, do you know why I am here?
Why?
Why?
For boom-boom.
Really? For boom-boom?
You, Atma?!
Twenty-two years...
my wife was in bed.
Die.
Slowly die.
Paralysis.
She was a great human being.
Best.
And beautiful.
Very beautiful.
She had big eyes.
Such big eyes.
And my whole world
used to reside in her eyes.
This January, she...
she...
Twenty-two years!
Long time.
But...
you never cheated on your wife?!
What?
- No cheating?
- No!
No cheating.
So...
was your mission in Thailand successful?
Boom-boom.
No emotion, no action.
I know.
Okay.
Hey! Have you lost your mind?
- I'll get drenched.
- Khao Sok Lake.
- Are you crazy?
- Come on.
Go!
Khao Sok Lake.
Khao Sok Lake!
It's amazing!
Wow!
Praise the Lord!
Hello. Who is it?
Yeah.
Tiwari...
Atma speaking from heaven.
Atma from heaven?!
Yes, Atma. Whose number is this?
Tiwari, my friend.
Get out of there.
See the world from your heart.
You'll also find paradise.
Hello! What? Hello!
He's always talking in riddles.
Yes, Santu.
Your daughter is on the line.
Here, talk.
Hello, Dad.
Yes, dear.
My daughter.
- Where are you?
- I am in Haridwar right now.
Tomorrow, I'll go to Rishikesh
and head toward Uttar Kashi.
Dad, I don't know why,
but I'm missing Mom a lot today.
If she were alive, she would've been
there with you today.
Together, you could have visited
Rishikesh and Haridwar.
Dad, can you hear me?
I am listening.
Mom had the desire
to go see the world with you.
She always used to say that to me.
What happened?
Rita...
I feel horrible.
I have...
never ever lied to my children.
You know...
I do not lie to my children.
If they ever find out...
how will they feel?
That their father is a...
- See, Atma.
- Then she asked me a question.
You are a good husband!
Was I a good husband?
I never thought about it.
For the first time, I realized...
Yes or no?
Yes.
Yes.
Then she asked me...
"Are you a good father?
Did you do everything
you could for your children?"
Yes or no?
Yes.
Then... no bad will happen to you.
She said that I've always
been good to others,
then why will anything
bad happen to me?
Only good things will happen to me.
- Yes, Anu.
- Where are you guys?
Rafiq is here for the decorations.
- He's asking where to set up the lights.
- Tell him the program's canceled.
- But he's...
- Don't you get it?
I said it's canceled, and that's final.
Muku...
your anger is justified.
I lied about going to Bangkok
and hid my passport.
That's the issue.
You're telling us
after the bedlam has broken.
It didn't occur to you to let us know?!
If only you had told us,
this would've stayed within the family.
We wouldn't have suffered
such humiliation.
I was scared of you.
When you were small,
you were scared of me.
And now I am scared of you.
But I feel lighter
after telling you everything.
Mukesh, in this journey,
I realized...
that life is too short,
and we get only one life.
We've got to...
You might not remember.
You were this small.
Whenever Sarla yelled at you,
you'd hide behind me.
You used to hug me tight.
The future is unpredictable.
Just hug me once like old times.
We turn humans into God
with love and respect...
but we deprive them of their right
to be human beings.
It's all right.
God bless you all.
I'll just...
Dad seems lost nowadays.
Why don't you try talking to him?
Nothing is wrong with him.
These things are common at his age.
Don't think too much.
Since childhood, I've always believed
that my father can never get hurt.
He can neither get tired
nor have any desires.
Because he's a father, right?
He's my father.
- Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD
If I can be empathetic
toward the suffering
of every human being in the world...
then why couldn't
I see the pain of the man
whom I love the most in the world?
How can I deprive my father
of the desires
that every human being has a right to?
Maybe I still have to
grow up a little more...
and be a little more compassionate.
But all this needs to happen soon.
Because life is too short.
And we get only one life.
So, whatever we need to do,
we have to do it in this lifetime.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD
Hey, wait for me!
What are you doing? Slow down.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Make a note of it.
That's the key to happiness.
Okay.
- Sir, would you like some more snacks?
- No, Chhaya. I'm full.
- Thank you.
- Okay, sir.
- So, Chintan...
- Yes, sir.
that's all for today, okay?
You will never get lucky here
in Ujjain, got it?
- Mr. Dubey, wait a minute.
- Yes?
Vijay, this is Mr. Atmaram.
We used to work in the same bank.
He's an excellent artist.
He uses a typewriter to make sketches.
- Typewriter?
- Yeah.
What's your blog called?
Typewriter... sketch...
Right.
Why are you staring at his face?
Look at his art.
- Did you make that with a typewriter?
- Yes.
Wow! That's amazing!
By the way, have we met before?
Ujjain is a small city, sir.
We must've bumped into each other
in some alley or neighborhood.
No, not in Ujjain.
Somewhere outside.
Where have I seen you?
Ratlam or Devas?
My daughters relocated there after
marriage. I often go there to visit them.
No, not Devas.
Airplane.
We met on the airplane.
- Haven't we?
- Doctor...
Atmaram never even boarded a train,
and you're talking about an airplane?!
He has never been beyond Ratlam,
that too, by road.
I see.
Then there must be
some kind of confusion. Sorry.
Not at all, no need to be sorry.
Maybe you saw someone else
who looked like me.
There is no dearth of ordinary-looking
people in this country, after all.
- Okay, see you.
- Okay.
Come on.
Glory to Mother Goddess.
Bless us with compassion and virtue.
Glory to Mother Goddess.
Bless us with benevolence...
Yes, son.
- I just spoke with Iqbal.
- Here.
- Mukesh, let me...
- Yeah.
Quickly select a cloth
for your jacket and give it to him.
Will he stitch it in a day?
Yes. And listen, come home soon.
- Both the sisters have arrived.
- Yes, I am coming.
Dear Grandpa, you've turned 70 today.
- Not today, two days later.
- Yes, but we have to prepare now, right?
Grandpa, you've turned 70 today.
But everyone says
you don't look a day over 60,
and that's because you cycle every day.
- Bravo. Amazing.
- Grandpa is Superman. He's Superman.
Continue, Honey.
Noble thoughts.
Grandpa, your noble thoughts,
virtuous lifestyle,
and inclination toward spirituality
inspire all of us.
- I see.
- You really are a great personality.
- Bravo. Very nice.
- Amazing.
- Very nice.
- Guys, I am a simple man.
Why are you all hellbent
on making me great?
No, Dad.
Whether you believe it or not...
- you're nothing short of God for us.
- Hey!
Why are you crying all the time? Dad...
is obviously great.
That's why he is
a role model for all of us.
- All right.
- No, Dad, you are great.
Okay.
Your emotions dictate the way you see God.
- Right?
- Right.
Son-in-law, I'll take your leave now.
It's time for bed.
I have to wake up early tomorrow.
- Okay. Good night, Dad.
- Good night.
Hey!
Okay.
The drums are pounding
It's celebration time
Here comes the magician
Witness the magic show
Colorful moments
Shining moments
Millions of stars twinkling in the sky
Unique bodies, flexible bodies
How can one not lose his heart?
I lost my mind, lost my soul
I lost my life, lost my world
Lost my senses, lost my passion
Now, I've lost everything
O crazy one
Yes, Rafiq. It's not his wedding,
it's his birthday.
Don't go overboard.
- No.
- I found you!
Kids, calm down. I am on the phone.
What were you saying?
Listen to me, we don't need a DJ.
All you need to do
is decorate the house nicely today.
Okay? I want the whole house lit up well.
Got it? See you.
Atmaram, jalebi!
Trying to act smart, Devdas?
If you want a jalebi, then say, "Father."
Is he your age to call him by his name?
If you want sweets,
then call him "Father."
- Come on, say it.
- Father, jalebi.
- Father, jalebi.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Now, he's learned his lesson.
Mukesh, give him one.
- Yes.
- Come on.
Only Golu is left now.
What have you done?
I've been telling you
to go play outside...
but you just don't listen!
Is this a place to hide? Idiot!
What's the matter? It's okay.
Thank God he didn't hurt himself.
Call it the grace of God.
Even God is helpless in front of him!
Idiot!
Oh, God. I knew these kids
were up to some mischief.
Dad really adored this picture of Mom.
He would gaze at it for hours.
We'll have to get it reframed
before Dad comes back.
What happened?
There's something taped at the back.
Look, there's something at the back.
Passport?!
Yeah, it's a passport.
Hold this.
- What happened?
- What is it?
What happened?
Hey!
What...
What happened? Tell me.
Did Dad go to Thailand
three years ago?
- Thailand?!
- No.
Thailand?!
Why?
What a great man!
- What a nobleman!
- Listen, brother.
Being discreet is a virtue, right?
I suggest we just let it slide.
We have nothing to do with it.
This is Dad's personal matter.
- What can we do about it? Nothing...
- What can we do?
Accuse him of treason!
Charge him with IPC 420!
Mom's painting got damaged,
the one Dad made himself.
- Yes.
- The frame is shattered.
This is a family matter!
Brother...
Here you go. Put it back.
Make a bigger frame and put it up.
- Brother...
- Brother, listen!
Make a massive frame!
- Dad...
- Brother...
-"Your emotions dictate
-What happened?
the way you see God!" Yeah, right!
I'm telling you,
he's going to raise a ruckus about it.
Brother... breakfast was ready.
Yes. Brother-in-law, at least
eat something before you leave.
I won't even have a drop of water here.
I didn't expect this from Dad.
- Our deceased mother...
- No, please don't cry.
Yeah, I'm coming!
Sister, even your husband
goes to Bangkok for work.
Keep an eye on him.
Dad...
Look, brother, even dealers from
our company go to Bangkok every year.
Not everyone goes there driven by lust.
Maybe Dad...
Does this look like a spiritual
trip to you? I've lost my mind!
How could he do this at this age?
Age... what do you mean by how?
Doesn't he have any
consideration for his old age?
- I'll talk to him.
- Listen, calm down.
The boy has to be from the Navy.
Where did that dry fruit guy go?
Such a big lie!
Listen, Mukesh.
Dad is right here. Why don't we...
This is Ujjain, Dad!
Here, news spreads faster than fire.
People will gossip all over town.
Your anger is justified, son.
But even I have some desires.
Such perverted desires at this age?!
Desires should be according
to one's age, don't you think?
How old will you turn tomorrow, Dad?
You'll be turning 70...
not 17.
Your grandson Ritvik is turning 17.
Have some shame.
What is the difference
between Ritvik and me?
Except for life experiences.
I led a prosperous life
with your mother...
and she showered me with abundance.
And one day, she was gone.
I was all alone.
And eventually, I realized
that I had grown old.
Here you go, Devdas.
- Doctor...
- It's not too hot now.
- tell us what erectile dysfunction is.
- Okay?
-Well, erection,
-He has too many tantrums.
meaning, the hardening of the penis,
also known as the stiffness of your penis.
Due to some reason,
if your penis is unable to get hard,
then it's called erectile dysfunction.
Okay.
- And it's a very common problem.
- Mr. Dubey!
Studies claim
that one-third of the population
- Mr. Dubey, are you asleep?
- has faced erectile dysfunction.
Mr. Dubey!
There are three types
of erectile dysfunction.
The first one...
Mr. Dubey, I've been shouting
out loud for so long,
but not a sound from you!
Hasn't Anu returned from school yet?
...meaning absence of sensation
or the lack of hardening of the penis.
What happens here is
the uneven flow of blood to the penis...
It's...
It's nothing.
Anu must be on her way.
What do you need?
Nothing. The milk curdled.
- Okay.
- So, I wanted some milk.
That's all right. I'll give you some.
I'll get it. Sit.
Wait. I'll get it.
TYPES OF ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION
LACK OF ERECTION IN PENIS
Here. Careful, it's hot.
Our TV hasn't been working for a few days.
I wonder why.
By the way, where's Gonu?
He's sleeping inside.
Okay. See you.
You can continue watching... your program.
Where have you been?
No calls, no messages?
And why aren't you picking up my calls?
Why aren't you showing up
for religious programs?
Is everything all right, Dubey?
Did something happen at home?
It has sugar.
Are you going to tell me or not?
What can I say?
I'm facing a serious issue.
I'm struggling with erectile dysfunction.
This is why I wasn't telling you.
Is it completely gone,
or is there some current still left in it?
No, it comes and goes.
Then, mister...
be ready for a complete
power failure any time now.
Will you ever say anything
positive about me?
I am being positive.
It's not a problem, it's a solution.
- This is a solution?!
- Of course.
Anyway,
what's the use of virility at this age?
It'll only make your mind
digress from important things.
No...
You're right, but...
you know I spent half my life...
without any pleasure.
Now, before I kick the bucket,
I want to do it one more time.
Do what?
Intercourse.
What? Have you lost your mind?
The future is unpredictable.
My body might give up on me.
It isn't helping you now either.
Your condition is like this bulb.
Off-on.
It's better that you keep
this sacred rosary.
- No...
- Come on, take it.
- What good will this do?
- What good?
It will calm your digressing mind.
And chant morning and night.
And next time, you have to accompany me
for the religious sermon, understood?
I had one friend...
but even he didn't understand my feelings.
MASCULINE WEAKNESS
MEET DR. KUMAR. SEXOLOGIST.
I didn't know what to do.
As time flew by...
my problem...
my problem got worse.
It seemed like everyone
in the world was happy...
but my share of happiness was over.
ATMARAM DUBEY
UJJAIN
Hey, mister!
Over here!
What are you looking for?
Careful! The water's too deep!
I am talking to you!
Once you jump down,
there's no way to come back up.
Careful! Look, there's no need
to give up your life!
There's no issue in the world that
I don't have a solution for. Careful.
Okay? I am coming! Yes! Stay there!
Statue!
Did your children throw you
out of the house?
Fight with the missus?
Financial issues?
Just let your feelings out, Uncle.
You'll feel very light. Believe me.
Open up.
You'll not make fun of me, will you?
Why will I make fun of you?
You're my father's age!
I have erectile dysfunction.
What's that, Uncle?
Loss of stiffness in the penis.
I see.
I see.
Got it.
Like a cricket ball that gets old...
and swings uncontrollably.
What problem is this?
How sharp are your ears!
Mind your own business.
So, Uncle, what else?
I've lived 22 years
without the slightest of pleasure.
My wife was bedridden for 21 years.
Paralysis.
She was my best friend.
She died last year.
If that grief wasn't enough...
I was faced with this problem.
A glass of milk
with genuine Shilajit... daily!
- Then just watch...
- It turning into steel.
- Hard steel!
- Priest!
By the way, guys, what advice
are you two giving these days?
We can't even find poison nowadays,
and you're talking about magic potions!
Uncle...
I understand your problem.
I totally understand.
Just forget about this issue.
Meet me tomorrow at 10:30 a.m.
under the clock tower.
Santulan Kumar will find a solution...
that will permanently solve your problem.
Are you making fun of me?
Call me a dog
if you think I'm making fun of you.
Sharp at 10:30, okay?
Uncle!
Over here!
Come on!
Come here!
Straight to the mansion now, brother?
Yes, straight there.
Be comfortable, Uncle. Relax.
Treat this as your own ride.
Meet my friend!
The Pappi Lahiri of Ujjain!
Bandmaster Salim!
- By the way, Mr. Santulan.
- Yes?
Where are we going?
You stole the words off my mouth, Uncle!
You know Khan Baba...
the bodybuilder with a record?
You don't know him, Uncle?!
He's world-famous in all of Ujjain!
He became a father at the age of 80.
Eighty-five to be precise.
See! I discounted five years!
I mean he's still a player at this age.
He is as virile as a young boy.
People come from far and wide
for his secret formula.
I'll get it for you.
- Right, Salim?
- Absolutely right.
Does he come home now?
No.
He doesn't even answer my calls now.
Why should this innocent child suffer
because of your quarrel?
Forget about it.
Santulan, take it.
Maybe it's someone like me seeking help.
Yes.
Well...
Where the hell are you?
Whenever I have customers at the shop,
you've got to pee?!
The shaving cream is drying up,
and you're busy watering the hole!
Yeah, hello! Yeah!
You always make trouble
during business hours!
Are you calling from abroad?
I can't hear you!
I see!
I want you back at the shop
in two minutes. Got it?
How much longer?
He's on his way.
Come on, Uncle.
I know this family very well.
So, there will be no trouble at all.
I know all of them.
See, there he is.
Bodybuilder sir! Hello!
Sir.
We wanted to meet Khan Baba.
What for?
Nothing special.
This is my friend Mr. Atmaram Dubey.
He was the senior typist
at the district bank. He's retired now.
Well...
he's keen on batting on the pitch again,
but his body isn't allowing him.
If we could get him that secret formula,
it would do the trick.
The formula!
- Only Dad can give you that.
- Where can I find him?
- He's inside.
- All right.
But be careful.
He is short-tempered.
Wife...
Don't cry.
No, sir!
First things first,
a huge congratulations to you.
I mean, big time.
What a performance even at this age!
You're incredible, sir!
I am impressed.
The thing is...
one can't cover the sun with sand.
Tell me your problem.
The problem...
Sir...
Sir...
the problem is severe.
Well, one wants to perform
just like you...
but is unable to.
The player is eager
to play another innings
but has to sit out like the 12th man.
He hasn't got the power anymore, sir.
- Am I getting through to you...
- You mean the problem is down here!
It's not here, the problem is with
the old model sitting over there.
It's all good here.
When was the last time
you got on the pitch?
I... I mean...
When was the last time?
Sir, 20 years, give or take.
The sword remains sharp
only when it's put to use.
You didn't use it for so long...
and now it's become rusty.
The nerves are jammed.
They need to be unlocked.
With a sword?!
With raw onions.
Eat lots of onions.
It gives you masculine power.
The heat from the onions
will open up the nerves that are jammed.
And exercise.
Do as many sit-ups as you can.
And watch the effect in ten days.
You will feel like jumping on rooftops.
But you must eat at least
10-12 onions every day.
Like this.
Dad...
Grandpa is calling.
Now leave.
My father is calling me.
And don't forget onions.
Onions in, weakness out.
His father's still alive?!
Amazing.
What's wrong, Dad?
If you don't like this one, shall I
get a different dish made for you?
No, that's not it.
Is there a problem?
Prob...
Problem?
There is a problem.
I've had a tingling sensation
in my right leg for a few days.
Someone advised me to eat
raw onions as a cure. That's it.
I was worrying without any reason.
Look, Atma,
stop eating freaking onions...
and try the sacred ash instead.
Leave it.
This is beyond your comprehension.
Fine. Go ahead and fulfill your desire.
I'll also see how many beds you break!
Brother, at this age, the body
and mind don't work in tandem.
- Mine do.
- They do?
Then, why are you
eating so many onions?
Mine do, he says!
We live in a society,
not in some other world.
There are some rules here.
Why...
Do I see these shadows?
Why does
This loneliness keep growing?
A part of me
Still has hopes
A part of me
Is dreaming
The earth under me quivers
The abode that dwells in my heart
I am going astray on this lonely path
What path is this?
Fill your wet eyes
With the memories of the past
Don't let this distance prevail
It's lonely
This path is lonely
Eighty-one.
Eighty-two.
MR. SANTULAN
Oh!
Yes, Santu.
To what do I owe this call?
What's the matter, Uncle?
You're panting so much.
I guess you're making out
in full swing!
No, I've been doing sit-ups
for the last ten days.
And I've eaten so many onions
that even my sweat smells
like onions now.
You see, Uncle, to gain some,
you have to lose some.
No, you're right.
I am trying my best.
And I get confidence
when I talk to you.
No, Uncle, don't say such things.
Just give us the good news soon, Uncle.
- I'll be waiting, okay?
- Okay.
- Okay, Uncle. Good night.
- Hello?
You're great!
I could smell the onions over the phone.
Why are you screwing with the old man?
Leave him alone.
He's a simple, honest man.
Even I am a simple man.
Look, Guddu,
you have a television for entertainment,
and I have guys like him.
It's like watching a live show.
This pain that flows through my eyes
Is momentary
This deluge won't stay forever
The sun will shine again
This cloud is light
I know what's going to happen tomorrow
Someday, it will appear before me
With a smile on its face
It's back!
It's back! All hail Santulan!
Glory to Santu! I got it back!
Wow!
- Dad...
- I got it back!
- What's wrong with Dad?
- Let me check.
- A girl as delicate as a flower...
- Dad, what happened?
- Open the door, Dad!
- Open the door!
What...
What's wrong, Mukesh?
That's what I am asking you.
- Why are you screaming at this hour?
- Onions!
- Current.
- Did you get an electric shock?
No... it's back.
Where?
Remember, I told you
- about the tingling in my right leg?
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- Yes. What about that?
It's completely gone.
- Gone?
- Anu!
- Anu!
- Yes, Auntie!
Why is Mr. Dubey screaming
in the middle of the night?
It's nothing, Auntie.
- He got his current back.
- Current?!
Not the electric current.
His leg which had gone numb
got its sensation back.
Oh, God! I was scared out of my wits!
Now that he's all right,
tell him to stop wandering
about on his cycle.
Now, go back to sleep,
and let us sleep as well!
ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION
Hello, Uncle.
You'll live a hundred years.
I was just thinking about you.
- Yeah, just a minute.
- I've been thinking about you
since last night.
I don't know how to thank you.
No need to thank me, Uncle.
Just make the mission a success,
and that will be my thank you.
The mission's been accomplished.
What do you mean? You mean...
- You mean an explosion happened?!
- Not just...
It was a double explosion!
I just wanted to thank you.
To hell with thank you,
we're going to celebrate, Uncle!
You'll have to throw
a party this evening!
Yeah, sure. I'll throw a party.
I'll tell everyone at home
that I'm going for a religious sermon.
Okay. See you in the evening, then.
In the sermon.
There'll be other rituals as well.
The other day, when we went
to see that bodybuilder together...
I knew we had a strong
bond with each other.
Uncle...
what is it called...
desolation... annihilation...
- Solution.
- Yes, solution.
Now that your problem is solved,
have you thought about what you will do?
What's there to think?
I'll explain what he's trying to say.
He means to say...
- do you feel like doing it now?
- Yes.
Yeah?
I mean...
I do...
but there are rules and regulations.
We live in a society.
It doesn't suit me at this age.
Uncle, I won't comment on that,
but Phulwanti is Rakesh's good friend.
Right, Rakesh?
I can call her right now if you want.
Absolutely, Uncle.
Should I call her, or will you?
Here, in Ujjain?
I understand what you're trying to say.
Look, Uncle, your right hand
shouldn't know what the left's up to.
That's Santulan aka a balancing act.
Just say yes.
And we are there to look after him, right?
Shall I fix it?
Uncle.
APNA LODGE
Where were you?
Even the cops in Hindi films
would've arrived before you.
My grandson had diarrhea,
so I got caught up.
Stop wasting time, Uncle.
Go straight to room no. 108.
She is waiting for you.
You see, overthinking
weakens the intention.
- Yeah.
- So, don't think too much.
- Room no. 108.
- 108.
- Uncle!
- 108.
Uncle, you?! Here?!
Didn't you recognize me?
Gullu. Girish.
- Mr. Agarwal's son.
- Santulan!
Hey!
Where the hell are those dogs?
I'll break their legs if I catch them.
That scoundrel made me wait
for two hours.
Tell me, Uncle.
- Is there no value of my time?
- Yes.
If you had booked me for hanky-panky...
would you be late?
Are you out of your mind?
Spewing vulgar nonsense
in front of a decent man!
Dad, what are you doing here?
- Manohar's son has opened a lodge.
- Hey, old man, where are you going? Wait!
- But I didn't know...
- Where are you going?
I don't know.
Hey, Uncle! Stop, you...
How are you, Uncle?
Hello, little one. How are you?
By the way, did you give it a thought?
Phulwanti. Rakesh was asking.
No, Santu.
I thought about her all night...
- Okay.
- but it's not possible here.
If anyone sees me,
I'll be as good as dead.
It's nothing like that, Uncle.
Just tell me, do you want it or not?
- What?
- Do you want it or not?
Great. I'll handle everything else.
If not here, then someplace else.
Hey, Atma!
Carry on, Uncle. We'll catch up later.
Okay. Okay, Uncle.
Let's go. Bye, little one.
How are you?
Santu, who was that uncle?
He's my latest plaything.
He's a very entertaining man.
Let's go, madam. Please make way.
It's been a while, brother.
Where had you been?
- I wasn't around.
- I see.
I took a trip abroad.
- Bangkok, Thailand.
- Thailand? Bangkok?
Isn't it next to America?
Don't be a fool.
America's on the left,
and Bangkok's on the right.
This side.
It's a ticket to paradise.
What women!
You continue.
And the sandwich massage
is just out of this world!
Sandwich...
You mean doing it while you eat?!
No.
They become the bread...
and you lie flat like a patty.
And then, both of them... full...
What? You mean not even underwear?!
What do you even know?
Girls abroad are very scantily dressed.
Right, sir?
You seem to know better, you tell him.
No... I mean I have seen it.
Santu, will you keep quiet for a minute?
Mr. Jugnu, please continue.
They squashed me like a cream biscuit.
Oh, my! It was heaven!
They cream you out... totally!
Brother, I'll be right back.
I've got to rush to the bathroom.
- Get lost.
- Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
If just hearing this has this impact...
he'll definitely die if he goes there.
Russian, American, Englandian.
- Englandian?!
- Yes, they have every type available.
I'm telling you, one should definitely
go to Thailand at least once.
How can we go to Thailand?
Can anyone go?
Yes, anyone can go.
All you need is a passport and money.
Off you go.
Look, neither will anyone recognize you
nor will they remember you there.
Imagine you're soaring
like a free bird in the sky.
No, Santu, it's out of the question.
I've never been beyond Ratlam.
How can I go to Thailand? No.
How can you give up now, Uncle?
See, life has given
you a second chance.
Put it to good use,
or it will go to waste.
I can't do it. No.
- You can, Uncle. I'll help you do it.
- No.
At least, keep the card.
You see, Uncle, I am just
speaking as your well-wisher.
Because I've seen it myself.
Your efforts, your struggle...
the blood and sweat you put in
to get to this point.
That's why, Uncle,
your efforts shouldn't go to waste.
I know... you only want what's best for me.
Then give it a thought for my sake.
A trip to Thailand.
That's all I had to say, Uncle.
I'll hang up now. Good night.
Looks like you need a haircut.
Tell me something, son.
Can we watch anything in the world
on your computer?
Yes, Grandpa.
Just type whatever you want to see,
and press enter.
- Simple.
- You mean any place?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Bye, Grandpa. Bye, Gonu.
Now, watch. Mr. Dubey will quickly
go inside and bolt the door.
- Really?
- Yes.
Panchal Auntie.
Can you look after Gonu
for a couple of hours?
You have to do nothing.
I've fed him.
If he starts crying,
just give him this lollipop.
Yes. Okay.
Namaste.
Someone definitely comes
in from the backdoor.
Really?
B-A-N...
G-I-R...
Here's Grandpa's little child.
Knock harder.
Oh, no.
Oh, no!
Yes. Coming.
Who is it? What do you...
He's wet his pants.
I've been pounding
on the door for so long!
I was in the bathroom.
Bathroom?
Oh, yeah! Come, baby! Come!
Come on, baby.
I guess someone's calling
you from the bathroom.
No, believe me,
I am alone in the house...
Oh, yeah!
No, I...
What is this?
Is this why I got you a computer, so
you could watch these vulgar things?
What?
The father couldn't even aim,
but the son is a shooter.
I've never gone beyond Indore, and
prince charming wants to go to Bangkok.
You want to go to Bangkok?!
- Dad, I'm telling the truth...
- Shut up!
Is this browser history lying?
Do you think I am stupid?
I'll slap you if you don't tell me
who's filling your mind with this filth!
I've been telling you
to get the internet disconnected.
Few kids have been caught
in school as well, Dad.
What's wrong, Mukesh?
Why are you screaming?
Even the neighbors can hear you.
Kids these days, Auntie, what can I say?
I got him this computer
for his studies...
and he's using it
to watch obscene things.
There's a power cut again.
Good God.
Close all the doors and windows.
I read in the newspaper this morning.
There's a new gang in Ujjain.
First, they cut off the power supply
and then rob the entire house.
Take care of your jewelry.
Good God,
all the doors of my house are open.
I am going.
Dad, calm down.
Just do me a favor.
Get his hair cut this short tomorrow,
military style.
And you... act your age.
Grandpa...
did you watch anything
on the computer?
Did you, Grandpa?
Get some sleep, dear.
Who tells us what to do
at what age, Grandpa?
You see, dear...
every generation tells
the next generation.
My father told me.
And did you tell my father?
Yes.
Why?
Exactly.
I made a mistake.
WHEREVER LIFE TAKES YOU, GO FEARLESSLY
LIFE WILL GIVE YOU PRECIOUS EXPERIENCES
Santu, I thought about your suggestion.
But... I'm in a dilemma.
What will I tell my family?
Of course, I can't tell them,
and only the crooks lie.
Look, Uncle.
There's no problem in the world
that cannot be solved.
We'll find a solution
to this issue as well... together.
I'm just happy
that you've made up your mind.
I mean you made me proud, Uncle.
I salute your courage.
It's the best decision you've made.
Honestly,
I want to come along with you,
and both of us should
just have a blast together.
What are you saying, Santu?
Aren't you married?
Trust is crucial in a marriage.
It's the bond of love.
How can you break that?
No... I was just saying
it for the heck of it.
I didn't mean it.
I'll be here. You go. I'll be here.
You give me courage,
otherwise, I've not even seen
an airplane in my life.
What are you saying, Uncle? I'll get
you a seat right next to the pilot.
No need for all that.
Shall I call the travel agent, then?
Let's get your passport made.
You'll find her there, Uncle.
Brother, just say yes
without any hesitation.
It's the best offer one can get.
We're all so attached to Uncle now.
Everyone said the trip
won't be the same without him.
And this is
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
You're right.
Is Uncle Tiwari joining you guys?
- Hey, check the list.
- Yeah, okay.
Tiwari's son and daughter-in-law
are not willing to pay.
Oh, yes. Uncle had told me about it.
I don't have any problem.
Ask Dad. His feet were acting up.
Yes, Uncle had mentioned.
So, Uncle, do you feel better now?
Yes, my leg's absolutely fine now.
- I see.
- But Mukesh...
- Yes?
- I don't feel like going.
Why, Dad? What's wrong?
They're such nice people,
it's such a nice offer. You should go.
No, they are nice people.
Very nice people.
- So?
- But who will drop Chikki off at school...
and look after Gonu all day?
Where will the poor boy stay?
Stop worrying
about these little things, Dad.
Anu.
Anu will take a week off.
It's all decided now.
- I said the same thing, brother.
- Okay.
Uncle, there's no problem
without a solution.
You see... as long as body and soul are
together, collect all the virtues you can.
The future is unpredictable.
Yes, you're absolutely right. Right.
- Just add his name to the list.
- Yeah, sure.
Dad, you should go.
You'll feel good. Right?
- Yeah, we'll make sure he has a good time.
- Yeah.
Slowly, gradually
The fire is slowing down
But thousands of doubts
Are still on my mind
I won't give up
I keep telling my mind
I walk strong on staggering paths
Agreed, my heart has no fun left
Life is a prison
I have to rise at the end of the day
I have to keep moving forward, O traveler
Slowly, gradually
The fire is slowing down
Although several doubts
My mind's like a bird
I left my fears behind
I have changed
I firmly graced the hand of my will
I go wherever my heart takes me
Let your life be controlled by your will
So said the saints
- Mr. Dubey.
- Yes.
Agreed, my heart has no fun left
Life is a prison
Tell Mukesh not to hit him.
Mr. Dubey, don't forget to bring back
holy offerings from your pilgrimage.
Auntie, for that, he has to go first.
Yes.
Let's go.
- Bye.
- Bye, Dad.
Bye, Kanu.
I hope Anu's onion trick
cures my arm as well.
It will.
Remember, Uncle, as soon as you land,
go straight to the address we gave you
- and complete the mission.
- Yes.
Okay, Uncle.
Give me your old phone.
And switch on the new one
as soon as you get there.
He looks so proud.
Ready for your air travel, Uncle?
Santu...
Uncle...
Uncle...
Take care.
I have a...
- For me?
- Yes.
Looks like a degree.
Uncle has made me a doctor.
No...
- And this as well.
- What's all this, Uncle?
Take care, everyone.
- Oh, yes.
- Give me my bag.
Careful.
Open it at leisure.
Take care of yourself, Uncle.
Hey!
Listen to me, guys, stop him.
We still have time.
Someone, please talk to Santu.
Santu!
You've landed the biggest joke ever!
That's the magic of Santulan.
This is mine, and this is yours.
Are you feeling cold?
No. Why?
You've wrapped that
muffler around your face.
- Do you have any relatives in Bangkok?
- No.
Then you should also cover your face.
This flight is to Bangkok.
If someone clicks a selfie
and posts it on the internet,
you'll become popular.
"Dear Santulan, I must have
done some good deeds in my past life
to earn a good friend like you.
I know you must have lost
precious time trying to help me.
I know you have no shortage of money,
and what you did for me
cannot be compensated with money.
Still, here are 5000 rupees as a gift
from one friend to another.
Santulan, your friends are also
- very nice and honest people.
- Oh, wow.
There is only one problem.
You don't look after your health.
I suggest you take up cycling like me.
After all, health is wealth.
Blah-blah, all good, blah-blah.
Forgive me, lots of love.
Yours truly, Atmaram Dubey."
Excellent! Wow!
And this is Uncle's sixer. Look here.
Amazing!
Santu, that looks exactly like you.
- It's my portrait, so it'll look like me.
- Right.
All said and done,
Uncle trusts Santu like family.
Yes.
Little does he know that even
Santu's family cannot trust him.
True.
- Mister!
- Yes?
- Are you from India?
- No, Pakistan.
- Yes?
- No, it's all right.
Even from Pakistan?!
Amazing.
Hey!
- Mister...
- Yes, darling, I am coming.
I am coming. Boom-Boom.
Wait for just one hour. I will be there.
- What are you wearing?
- Mister.
Why have you covered your face?
Baby, hold on. One minute.
You told me to on the plane.
That was on the plane.
Here, no one has the time.
- Okay. I had to go to this place...
- Where?
Pathumwan.
- Pathumwan?
- Yes.
- You go straight.
- Okay.
One-two, one-two.
- Gate.
- Gate.
- Then, take a left.
- Left.
There, you'll find the metro.
Metro?
Metro! Train!
- Okay. Train. Got it.
- Climb down the metro stairs.
- Down.
- Main road.
- Main road.
- Taxi.
- Taxi.
- Pathumwan.
Goodbye. Okay, bye.
Sorry, sweetie. I am coming.
Santu!
I think someone is calling
on Mr. Atmaram's cell phone.
Pick it up.
Hello.
Hello, brother. Santulan speaking.
Greetings. How are you?
Did you all reach? How was the journey?
With the grace of God,
we arrived safe and sound.
Great. That's amazing.
Let me speak to Dad.
Dad? Uncle is freshening up.
I'll ask him to call you once he's back.
That's all right. Not a problem.
And don't worry.
We're taking good care of him.
Yes, you guys are there
to take care of him, so I'm at peace.
You guys carry on with your schedule.
Don't forget to tell
my dad that I had called.
Tell him to call me back.
Shall I hang up?
- Okay.
- Goodbye, brother.
Goodbye.
Taxi.
Taxi.
A real man sways
Without getting high
Driving a taxi to make a living
Is an excuse
Wanna bump into new people
Under the blue sky day and night
Hello, brother.
India? Where do you want to go?
Are you also from India?
I am from everywhere.
I want to go to Pathumwan...
where people go to do that... program!
Artists from all over the world come here
With their art and beat
But one that never tires lasts longer
And he's committed to winning
Are you sure you'll get me there?
First time in Bangkok?
I have a friend Santulan Kumar.
He said that I should visit Bangkok once.
So, I thought...
- I should do a program here as well.
- Careful, bro.
Coming here is easy,
but going back is hard.
- Really?
- Yes.
Like my great-grandfather.
He never went back.
- Are you serious?
- Yes.
Amazing. Did your father
also come here for a program?
No, bro.
Not for any program.
I am the only one
in my family who's interested in music.
By the way,
I have a pretty colorful family.
Listen to this.
Five, four, three, two, one, go!
I have a pretty crooked family photo frame
Great-grandpa was
In the British Army posted in Burma
Married a Thai girl
And settled down in Thailand
Grandpa got stuck marrying a Bangladeshi
My father wedded my mom
Who was a Pakistani
This is my story
And this is Pathumwan 939.
Myself, Zandu Singh the Great,
the voice of Thailand.
If you need to go anywhere
or go sightseeing in Bangkok,
just give me a call.
An artist will be
here for another artist.
All the best for your program.
Perform well.
- Greetings!
- Greetings!
That taxi guy dropped me off here.
He said this is the place. I was...
Greetings!
What?
Do you want to go inside?
Do you mean I'm at the right place?
Please head inside.
It's 200 baht.
- Two hundred.
- Yeah.
You guys are pretty professional.
I just...
The madam on the card, where...
You're welcome.
No, even you are very beautiful.
I didn't mean it like that.
- Please come this way.
- Shall we?
Come this way, please.
God bless you, Uncle.
How was the trip?
Did you visit the address on the card?
I did, but...
Santu, there's some classical
dance program happening here.
Classical dance?
How is that possible, Uncle?
Did you meet the girl on the card or not?
No, I didn't.
And these people charged me
200 baht for the classical program,
- and they're not giving me a refund.
- Uncle's on the line.
And the new cell phone
isn't working either.
I tried switching it
on and off several times,
but there's no network.
How will you get a signal
if you don't insert a SIM card?
We'll have to put in a SIM card.
Yes, I'll get a SIM card.
But please confirm with your friend
where he went for the program.
I'll call him, Uncle.
And call me back on this number.
I am waiting.
Fine, I'll call you back.
I'll call him right now.
Two minutes.
Five minutes. Call coming.
The address on the card is wrong.
It's some classical program
instead of boom-boom.
What?!
- But... who gave you the card?
- Yeah.
My Sai is so innocent
My Sai is so innocent
So saintly and innocent
Mom, Papa's phone is ringing.
My Sai is so innocent
So saintly and innocent
He's the image of God
Sai is so sweet
He's the image of God
Sai is so sweet
He's the image of God...
Mr. Jugnu, there's a slight emergency.
I have a friend who's gone to Bangkok.
He is not able to find your girl there.
Hello?
Hello!
Can you hear me?
Yes. So, brother, I was saying...
that the card that you gave me
for the sandwich massage girl,
I think the address
on that card is wrong.
- Can you reconfirm it again?
- My Sai is so innocent
Brother, give me the address.
- That Englandian.
- My Sai is so innocent
Do you remember or not? Hello.
Hello...
What is it?
My Sai is so innocent
What happened?
You need a sandwich massage?!
- What are you doing?
- Bloody scoundrel!
Stop! Hey!
You need a sandwich massage?!
- You will break my jaw.
- I don't care!
Hey...
- I'll give you a sandwich massage.
- Have you lost your mind?
- Sandwich massage!
- What are you doing? Hey!
- I'll give you a sandwich massage.
- Hey, stop!
- Mom!
- I'll give you a sandwich massage.
- Wait.
- Mom, don't do it!
- Please don't!
- I'll give you a sandwich massage.
Uncle's all alone out there, and...
Wait a minute! Listen!
Speak up!
There's so much pressure at work
that I hardly get time to drink water.
Do you think I'll go
to Bangkok to eat sandwiches?
- Have you lost your mind?
- I have lost my mind?!
Oh, God! You shattered
the photo frame completely...
Oh, God!
What?! I am not a prostitute, okay?
What is this? Would you ask such
a question to someone of your own?
Learn to respect the other person, got it?
Don't ever call me again!
I cannot do this. Sorry. I just can't.
- Mister! Listen!
- I'm sorry.
Did you dial the wrong number?
Did you dial the number on the card?
Mister!
How is this possible?
Mister, can you dial
this number on the card?
Dial... the number... on the card.
Please, brother.
You broke my shop.
Rascal, I'll slit you in two pieces,
or my name isn't Jugnu!
Stop, you rascal!
Run!
Run as fast as you can!
Hey!
What has he done this time?
I will make you run
all the way to Bangkok now!
You can run as much as you want.
- You...
- Catch him! Stop!
Hey, stop!
Stop! Catch him!
I will not spare you today.
Hey, rickshaw, catch that guy.
There! He went that way!
The day I lay my hands on you,
I'll chop your limbs off!
What did he do this time?
Had I been to Bangkok for real,
it would still make sense.
- What do you mean?
- I mean...
-that day, these tour company guys,
-Yeah?
those who send people to Bangkok,
gave me a card.
For the Thai massage parlor.
And I gave that card to this idiot
at your shop as a joke.
But he called my wife
and spewed bullshit about me.
- Where is that scoundrel?
- I don't know.
Find him!
Santulan!
Hello.
Uncle, I guess your new number's working.
I thought so.
Well, Santu,
that's what I called to tell you.
I met a gentleman
who knows the address.
He's taking me with him in his car.
Who does that in this day and age?
Santu, I have high hopes that, this time,
the mission will be accomplished.
Okay, I think I have reached the location.
I'm hanging up now.
Hey, who is this new catch?
Mistake.
Police!
Police coming!
Police coming!
What are you doing, madam? Let go of me!
I don't even know anyone, mister.
Save me! No!
Oldie bro.
If you had said boom-boom
instead of program...
there wouldn't have been any confusion.
Sit.
- Sit.
- No.
Sit.
The entire world comes here for this.
No need to feel embarrassed.
Now, you take rest in the room.
Tomorrow, I will take you for boom-boom.
And yes...
you won't need this anymore.
Goodbye.
ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION NEW
What's the matter, Uncle?
You sound tired.
Seems like you're sweating
it out in Bangkok.
Hello?
Hello! Uncle, are you crying?
I can't do it.
Hello?
I'm getting punished...
for having such desires at this age.
I'm so lonely here.
I made a huge mistake by coming here.
What... what mistake, Uncle?
You're making me anxious now.
Tell me what happened, Uncle.
The guy who I thought was a gentleman...
turned out to be a crook!
He had an entire gang.
He wasn't alone.
No, okay, fine. What's done is done.
Are you all right?
Are you hurt?
That woman tried to snatch my bag,
but I didn't let go.
I didn't let go. I fell to the ground.
Thank God, the police siren scared
those scoundrels, and they fled.
No, Uncle, nothing will happen to you.
Baba Pehelwan is with us.
Santu... it was terrible.
Terrible, I tell you.
What happened with you
is in the past now, but...
let me give you small good news.
I found out about this terrific place.
Baba Plaza.
I can't do it.
I want to come back.
- I want to come back, Santu.
- Okay, listen.
You cycled 80 kilometers
every day, didn't you?
- Yes.
- You did, right?
You even made a solo trip
to Bangkok on a plane.
Listen to me, Uncle.
You have to be strong, okay?
And just finish this chapter,
- and then return.
- Okay.
No need to be afraid.
Our prayers are with you.
If you need anything, just call me.
I will land up in Bangkok, I mean it.
Take care.
That was terrible, Dad.
But hopefully,
nothing worse happened later?
Hello, mister!
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Boom-boom
Hello, mister new-new!
Got something for eew-eew
Come and see the view-view
Hello, mister new-new!
Get into the queue-queue
You will get your due-due
Innocent, sad fool and smart, hot girl
I am ready, come have a blast
Why wag your tail in all directions?
Sway and have fun
Strike now
This is true love
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Boom
Kaboom-boom
Wrong number!
You'll have to play with a hockey stick.
Ladyboy.
The treasure chest is open
Take whatever you please
Do what you like
You don't have to say sorry
Baby, what's your story?
Let me take your worry
Boy, you won't be sorry
When you're with me
I am the party
Let's get lost in a corner, you and me
I am ready, come have a blast
Why wag your tail in all directions?
Sway and have fun
Strike now
This is true love
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Boom
Kaboom-boom
Do you wanna boom-boom?
-Boom-Boom
-Kaboom-boom
-Boom-Boom
-Kaboom-boom
-Boom-Boom
-Kaboom-boom
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Nobody, yeah, nobody
Wanna leave my company
Come to me
Yeah, come to me
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Is one hour enough?
Can it be arranged for the whole night?
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Boom
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Come to me
Yeah, come to me
Do you wanna boom-boom?
Come on, let's take a shower together.
First, you take a shower. I'll go later.
Okay.
You go.
Wake up. Come on, wake up. Wake up.
Hello, Uncle!
What took you so long to answer the call?
Mukesh is on the line.
I am putting it on speakerphone.
Hello, Dad. Greetings.
God bless you.
All good at home?
Yes. We haven't talked
since you left, Dad.
All good? Hello?
I can't hear you, Dad!
I can hear you properly.
All good at home?
- Anu...
- Yes, thanks to your blessings.
The kids miss you.
Dad, hope your pilgrimage is going well.
Yes.
Great. I'm glad your trip is fruitful.
And Dad, is your leg okay?
That's not a problem at all now.
It's all good. I am having fun.
Well, that's a good thing.
I think you're busy
with the religious program.
So, you carry on. We'll talk later.
Goodbye.
- Hello, Uncle.
- Yes?
So, tell me...
any luck at Baba Plaza?
I did meet a very beautiful girl.
But...
unfortunately,
I couldn't do it at the last minute.
Why? Was she asking for more money?
No, my mind digressed.
I started thinking
about the poor girl's life.
What must be her reason
to do such a thing?
That too, with an old man like me.
She does it with older
and uglier-looking men than you.
Yes. That's why they are called
sex workers. That's their job.
Don't try to be a social worker.
But they are also human beings.
I mean, how can anyone do
it without emotions or feelings?
What feelings, Uncle? You're not
trying to find a bride, are you?
Don't waste all our efforts now.
And think about us, Uncle.
I'll be heartbroken.
Do you want me to cry?
Fine, Santu, I'll try again.
Enough trying, Uncle.
You have to get the job done now.
Yeah. I mean, at least give
sandwich massage a try. You might like it.
I'll try.
That's the spirit, Uncle.
I have a meeting.
See you later.
You take care,
and take this job seriously.
Okay? Keep eating onions.
Okay, goodbye. All the best.
It was a call from abroad.
- Really?
- Thailand, Bangkok.
What is your age?
- Fifty-six.
- Fifty-six!
You might need to go
there in a few years.
You can ask me.
I'll help you get there.
I want to go. Will you send me?
- Mr. Jugnu, I... Bless me.
- Don't insult me!
I'll make you experience
Bangkok in Ujjain.
Let me give you a Thai Massage for free.
What did you tell my wife?
Sandwich massage?
Sandwich, right?
- No, I mean...
- I'll make a sandwich out of you!
- Brother!
- Don't!
- Let go of him.
- Listen to me.
Brother, let's take this elsewhere.
People are watching.
Elsewhere?
Brother, let go of him.
Hey!
Get away!
- What is he doing?
- Move!
- Jugnu!
- Let go of him!
- Mr. Jugnu!
- You just wait...
- I'll show you.
- Brother, that's enough.
You ruined my life!
Why did you tell my wife?
Why did you tell my wife? Answer me!
Rita was a Russian girl.
She used to call herself a bag packer.
She had old ties with India.
I am a wanderer
I am a wanderer
Or just a star in the sky
Amazing!
You sing so well.
Do you know the entire song?
This is Mr. Raj Kapoor's song.
Raj Kapoor.
Yes. He was pretty famous in Russia.
You know the entire song.
Oh my God!
I am a wanderer
-Or just a star in the sky
-Or just a star in the sky
- I am a wanderer.
- I am a wanderer.
Rita's grandma named Rita
after Nargis' character in Awara.
And Rita became such a wanderer that
by the time I met her,
she had been to 28 countries.
Now, she wanted to go to Khao Sok lake.
- Very beautiful.
- You don't know?!
I'll show you.
Look at this.
Khao Sok.
It's awesome.
You see before?
This mountain?
Forget about the mountains,
I saw the sea for the first time today.
- Are you alone?
- What?
- Alone?
- Alone?
Completely alone.
First time traveling out of India.
First time plane journey... yes.
That...
What?
I say wrong?
No... you not wrong.
Okay, what side is your hotel?
Hotel?
Walking. One-two, one-two.
And where is your hotel?
- Hotel?
- Yes.
Searching hostel.
Room-sharing.
Room-sharing?
But why?
You share me.
My room. You share.
You want me...
to share your room?!
- Really?
- I mean it, really.
You are so cute, Atma.
What happened?
No...
You...
I wanted to ask...
You...
travel all over the world.
Why?
Experience.
How do you manage the expenses?
Income?
Okay... I am a travel blogger.
Travel...
write...
internet.
Yeah, the internet! Yeah!
Experience... is my income.
Experience is your income?!
Brother... what are you doing?
- Hang up.
- Let go of me, Guddu.
I want to talk to Uncle.
I want to apologize to him.
If you're so hellbent on it, then you
can apologize to him when he comes back.
Have you lost your mind?
Venting your frustration on someone else!
Just because Jugnu beat you
black and blue!
It's not about Jugnu.
When one tries to make fun of others...
- their own life turns into a cruel joke.
- Oh, man!
I have a yoga mat.
- It's okay.
- But...
Hello, Santu.
Uncle...
Hello.
- Uncle, I want to...
- Yes.
Uncle, I just want to...
Wait a minute.
I am going tomorrow early morning.
Not wake you up.
Good night.
It was nice meeting you.
Yes, Santu?
I was saying,
are you with a woman, Uncle?
Yes... it's a Russian girl.
She's just like us. Simple.
She... needed a room for the night.
And I said my room's available.
Come over.
Uncle...
I have something to tell you.
Go ahead.
You are a very naive man...
and this world's a dirty place.
You trust people easily.
But not everyone has
a pure heart like you, Uncle.
What I mean to say is...
be careful of that Russian, Uncle.
I've heard dozens of stories...
where girls like her
befriend men like you
and rob them of everything.
Even their passport.
She might not be one of them,
but I am just warning you.
Hello... it's Atmaram speaking.
Hi, Atma.
Your passport is under the pillow.
Check under the pillow.
Hello?
Thank God.
Can I make a suggestion?
If you don't want to do boom-boom...
then go back to India.
That's the right thing to do.
I was telling you, Mukesh,
Dad can never do such a thing.
If someone else were in his place...
maybe one of us, would we have
the courage to tell the truth?
Brother, I would have cooked up
some imaginary story.
Well, I can't vouch for you.
Neither have I done nor will I do
something wrong in my life
- that forces me to lie.
- Yeah, but...
What wrong did he do?
Dad, tell him. Did you do anything wrong?
Atma?
What are you doing here?
You say...
experience.
Khao Sok lake.
I also...
What's this new experience?
Feels like
Flutes are playing in my heart
Like a clever hunter
There was a heavy burden on my chest
This cruel one
My heart was never like this
It was barren
It feels alive again
My heart's beating again
My heart's beating again
Says everywhere I go
My heart's beating again
Says my heart
It's like
I've grown wings
I can feel my heartbeat again
What has happened?
Something new
Now, I see the beauty of the world
The fun along the way
I keep walking forward
And stretch myself
My heart's beating again
Says everywhere I go
My heart's beating again
Says my heart
I've written in my blog
that India is the only country in
the world where sex is considered sacred.
There, since ancient times,
love and all its expressions are believed
to be a medium to achieve salvation.
But now... it's not like this.
If sex was actually a medium
to attain salvation,
then I wouldn't have come to Thailand
secretly lying to my family.
Rita, do you know why I am here?
Why?
Why?
For boom-boom.
Really? For boom-boom?
You, Atma?!
Twenty-two years...
my wife was in bed.
Die.
Slowly die.
Paralysis.
She was a great human being.
Best.
And beautiful.
Very beautiful.
She had big eyes.
Such big eyes.
And my whole world
used to reside in her eyes.
This January, she...
she...
Twenty-two years!
Long time.
But...
you never cheated on your wife?!
What?
- No cheating?
- No!
No cheating.
So...
was your mission in Thailand successful?
Boom-boom.
No emotion, no action.
I know.
Okay.
Hey! Have you lost your mind?
- I'll get drenched.
- Khao Sok Lake.
- Are you crazy?
- Come on.
Go!
Khao Sok Lake.
Khao Sok Lake!
It's amazing!
Wow!
Praise the Lord!
Hello. Who is it?
Yeah.
Tiwari...
Atma speaking from heaven.
Atma from heaven?!
Yes, Atma. Whose number is this?
Tiwari, my friend.
Get out of there.
See the world from your heart.
You'll also find paradise.
Hello! What? Hello!
He's always talking in riddles.
Yes, Santu.
Your daughter is on the line.
Here, talk.
Hello, Dad.
Yes, dear.
My daughter.
- Where are you?
- I am in Haridwar right now.
Tomorrow, I'll go to Rishikesh
and head toward Uttar Kashi.
Dad, I don't know why,
but I'm missing Mom a lot today.
If she were alive, she would've been
there with you today.
Together, you could have visited
Rishikesh and Haridwar.
Dad, can you hear me?
I am listening.
Mom had the desire
to go see the world with you.
She always used to say that to me.
What happened?
Rita...
I feel horrible.
I have...
never ever lied to my children.
You know...
I do not lie to my children.
If they ever find out...
how will they feel?
That their father is a...
- See, Atma.
- Then she asked me a question.
You are a good husband!
Was I a good husband?
I never thought about it.
For the first time, I realized...
Yes or no?
Yes.
Yes.
Then she asked me...
"Are you a good father?
Did you do everything
you could for your children?"
Yes or no?
Yes.
Then... no bad will happen to you.
She said that I've always
been good to others,
then why will anything
bad happen to me?
Only good things will happen to me.
- Yes, Anu.
- Where are you guys?
Rafiq is here for the decorations.
- He's asking where to set up the lights.
- Tell him the program's canceled.
- But he's...
- Don't you get it?
I said it's canceled, and that's final.
Muku...
your anger is justified.
I lied about going to Bangkok
and hid my passport.
That's the issue.
You're telling us
after the bedlam has broken.
It didn't occur to you to let us know?!
If only you had told us,
this would've stayed within the family.
We wouldn't have suffered
such humiliation.
I was scared of you.
When you were small,
you were scared of me.
And now I am scared of you.
But I feel lighter
after telling you everything.
Mukesh, in this journey,
I realized...
that life is too short,
and we get only one life.
We've got to...
You might not remember.
You were this small.
Whenever Sarla yelled at you,
you'd hide behind me.
You used to hug me tight.
The future is unpredictable.
Just hug me once like old times.
We turn humans into God
with love and respect...
but we deprive them of their right
to be human beings.
It's all right.
God bless you all.
I'll just...
Dad seems lost nowadays.
Why don't you try talking to him?
Nothing is wrong with him.
These things are common at his age.
Don't think too much.
Since childhood, I've always believed
that my father can never get hurt.
He can neither get tired
nor have any desires.
Because he's a father, right?
He's my father.
- Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD
If I can be empathetic
toward the suffering
of every human being in the world...
then why couldn't
I see the pain of the man
whom I love the most in the world?
How can I deprive my father
of the desires
that every human being has a right to?
Maybe I still have to
grow up a little more...
and be a little more compassionate.
But all this needs to happen soon.
Because life is too short.
And we get only one life.
So, whatever we need to do,
we have to do it in this lifetime.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD
Hey, wait for me!