Thank You for Coming (2023) Movie Script
1
Around the world,
girls are brought up with fairy tales.
Every fairy tale
has the same old story.
The princess kisses a frog,
who turns into a prince,
and then they both live
happily ever after.
I also believed it, sister!
But my story starts...
My story begins with "The End."
And my fairy tale got screwed up.
THIS STORY STARTED IN 1996, IN DELHI
Chapter one.
Delhi...
1996.
What a wonderful creature!
Holy Priest,
please perform a sacred ritual,
so that this royal court
is blessed with a child we can call ours.
Offer this enchanted mango
to the princess.
Once consumed,
she will surely conceive.
Hold on. Wait a minute!
That is not how babies are made.
First, boys and girls need to have sex.
Come, let me tell you
a not-so-perfect fairy tale.
I'm the hero. Kanika Kapoor.
- That's Dr. Kapoor, right?
- Yes.
Which mother raises a child like this?
Child out of wedlock!
- Why does a child know this?
- Mother's a gynec, after all.
What else will the daughter learn?
Style icon?
Really? Didn't you hear what she said?
Who did you learn these dirty things from?
From Mamma.
Shameless!
I don't want to confuse my child,
Mrs. Kukreja.
- I run a home clinic and patients come...
- Mrs. Kapoor.
Miss.
Miss Kapoor.
I'm sorry.
Miss Kapoor.
But if Kanika wants to stay
in this school,
she will have to apologize
in front of the whole school.
You see, it's very important
- for her moral growth.
- Right.
How will a lie help
in my child's moral growth?
Kanika will not say sorry.
- Kanika has to say sorry.
- No, she won't.
- She will!
- My daughter will not say sorry!
Kishori, Kanika won't say sorry.
Bina, shut up!
I am sorry, I said the wrong thing...
- so, I'm very...
- Loser Kanika!
Stop it! Silence.
Loser Kanika!
From a sworn princess to Loser Kanika!
Nothing was normal in my life. Ever.
- But could I change that?
- Are you sure?
Hey, what's wrong with us?
Miss Kapoor!
We clearly told you
we don't rent flats to single ladies.
But you have a little daughter,
so we allowed you.
But bringing boyfriends over
won't be allowed.
And that night,
Grandma made me realize
that a spinster princess can never find
their "happily ever after."
That's why, very early on in life,
I began...
the R and D for my charming frog prince.
Hit him.
Maybe there was still hope
for my fairy tale.
And the next chapter of life...
"The seduction of youth!"
Youthful lover and a sultry sweetheart
When two young hearts meet
They are bound to surrender
Youthful lover and a sultry sweetheart
Finally, I meet my charming frog prince.
The real confusion starts now.
Will you give me some, Virgin Kanika?
I meant the Virgin Mojito!
The princess in a fairy tale
is fed with all sorts of lousy notions.
They say, "Just sit and smile coyly."
Bullshit!
If you don't go for it,
they call you a bore.
If you go for it,
they call you a whore!
So, what exactly
is a princess supposed to do?
Once more!
But Grandma says that if you
really want to be a princess,
don't do it before marriage.
Please?
Or do you do it for true love?
Sometimes?
And then, my sweet 16
turned out to be sweet and spicy.
I saw the garden of roses.
Is this my happily ever after?
Wonder when it happened
Neither I know, nor does he
And then all of a sudden, at 18,
a twist in my dreamy fairy tale.
Came, right?
It's not necessary
that every love story reaches its climax.
Learned this the hard way
from Frog Number One,
Bunny Bhatia!
Moving onto the rebellious 25.
Introducing frog number two,
Shekhar Sinha.
And still, no happy ending!
But what is life
without a little salt and spice
that makes everything nice?
Will you marry me?
- Marry you?
- Yes.
Think about it.
I'm 55.
I'm a widower, I have a son...
who is almost your age.
I'm on vitamins.
I'll live for another 10-12 years.
Maybe, with your love...
another 15 years.
After which, everything is yours.
But until I am alive,
every morning...
I'll sing songs by Gulzar for you.
He is a friend.
My buddy.
Okay.
Professor.
My heart longs for those moments
When I just sit thinking of my beloved
Shall I serve lunch?
And will the young girl also eat?
Yes, she will also eat.
Listen,
this is about our neighbor Mr. Gupta.
He just passed away.
His gardener came
to tell me to inform you.
Gupta passed away.
- Oh, no.
- Why are there clothes
strewn around on the floor?
You never listen!
Got an attack again?
This back pain starts here
and goes up to the neck!
Could you help me with the shawl, please?
Of course, I'll help you.
Shall I fix an appointment for tomorrow?
Yes, nanny. Please!
Oh, my glasses.
Another misfire!
Me? I am a fighter.
Keep calm and carry on.
And then my almost perfect
frog number three,
Rahul Kasturia.
I'm so lucky I found you.
Youthful lover and a sultry sweetheart
When two young hearts meet
Not today.
Are you cheating on me?
No, I'm tired.
Give me her name!
Fuck.
You need help.
I really think you need help.
You are the one who keeps saying
sex is not everything.
So?
The only way to console the poor
is to tell them
that money is not everything, Rahul!
The fuck is wrong with you, man!
And after years of dejection,
several blows to the self-esteem
in the relentless pursuit
of finding my prince charming,
the woeful realization
dawned upon me at 30!
I hope I am not the problem.
I am the problem!
Got dumped again!
I don't want to die alone.
Kanika, why are you lying on the floor?
Laid on every bed possible, guys!
So much trial and error,
but still no luck!
Where is my prince charming?
You'll find him.
It'll happen when it has to happen!
Right now, just have fun!
Yeah, it's your 30th birthday!
You're a mess! Let's go in.
I've...
I've never had an orgasm.
Never?
Tried everything?
Yes, everything.
This is because of the porn industry.
They've hyped orgasms to another level!
- Yeah!
- The man just touches the woman...
and she cums.
In real life, a lot of effort has to be
put in to get a woman to cum!
Don't lecture me after your honeymoon!
Such a show-off now that you're married!
- You married my best friend!
- What are you saying?
Hey!
- How drunk are you all?! Come.
- And you...
Fuck off.
You've also married my best friend!
Well, she's my wife now!
- Come.
- I want to speak to Rahul.
Look, when the timing is right...
you'll find love up here and
the "happily ever after" down there.
So, relax!
Where is the right man, Tina?
I am tired of searching for the right man.
I think an arranged marriage
is best for me.
I should say yes to Jeevan's proposal!
Then you'll have to subscribe
to a porn channel for life!
And today, on the eve of
my inglorious 32nd birthday.
No more!
I am done.
The pain of waxing
reduces with frequency.
But the pain of a heartbreak
stabs you in the fucking gut,
every time.
Youth
Get a bikini wax, Kanika.
Or else wildlife will colonize this bush!
No point, Auntie.
No one visits these barren lands!
But this hope...
is a bitch!
No matter how many times you fail,
it keeps coming back and says,
"Come on, give it one more shot!"
Actually, Auntie.
Why can't we have it all?
The eternal love along
with the raunchy sex!
Today is the day!
Arjun Malhotra.
Today the floodgates will open
and how...
Happy Birthday, ma'am.
Thank you.
- Hi!
- Hi!
Happy Birthday, bitch!
Thank you, guys!
- This is so nice!
- Hi.
By the way, I heard
you're back in the market!
Thank God, dude.
I was almost getting nightmares
of Virgin Kanika from school.
- Seriously.
- So funny!
- Two years...
- What's up with her?
Why is your daughter sulking?
Did she come second in class?
She's going through a breakup.
- No!
- That first high school romance...
Yeah, that.
Guys, love is always true when you
fall for someone.
Dude, it's exhausting, Kanika!
Seriously.
She would know best.
She falls in love every year!
Hello!
Sorry.
Happy birthday.
You wanna talk about it?
Not today. I'll call you.
Is this juice or...
So we aren't going to
cut the cake in parking, Karan!
Get it here!
Just come fast. Yeah.
Arjun isn't picking up my call.
Don't worry, I'm in touch with him.
He's coming for sure, right?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Are you sure he was in touch with you?
What are you both mumbling about?
Is he not showing up?
No! Obviously, he is coming!
Is he going to stand me up on my birthday?
Are you mad?!
Listen, tell me the truth.
Not at all, dude...
- Oh, look...
- Here.
- He's here.
- There he is!
He's handsome.
Youthful lover and a sultry sweetheart
Kanika.
When two young hearts meet
They are bound to surrender
Youthful lover and a sultry sweetheart
When two young hearts meet
They are bound to surrender
Hey, swagger!
I find you sexy
That's Kanika.
Swagger!
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
That's Tina. That's Pallavi.
And that's Rushi.
Who's she?
Oh, my God, Kanika Didi!
I am a big fan of yours!
I see all your videos.
You know,
you are my favorite food blogger.
Wherever you go, I go.
Check out my profile.
Oh, I am so sorry.
Rushi Kalra.
- Hi!
- I am a trainee chef.
- Nice to meet you.
- One selfie?
Smile?
What the fuck, Arjun!
Who the hell is this?
This was a date.
- With?
- With Kanika, you fool! Who else?
Dude, she's 30-plus.
I respect her. Okay?
So?
Dude, please!
Me and Loser Kanika?
Where did you get this jacket?
Ma'am, you need a chair?
Of course, the more the merrier!
Put it down!
Looks nice, right?
Getting so many candles was a task, bro!
That's why it took time.
But I told them clearly.
My friend is turning 32.
I need 32 candles.
Couldn't you bring the candle
with the number on it?
- I said...
- You both are made for each other! Fools.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Wait a minute. Stop!
What happened?
One candle is extra!
I counted 33!
Your math is weak.
You ain't that old, babe!
Happy birthday to you
I get your missed call every night
Actually, a hundred times a night
Don't deny it!
What's on your mind?
Your tantrums make you
Who you are
They're soft on the inside
And a little cold on the outside
But that's a facade you put on
I can't help but think of you
I don't know what's happening to me
Now that I dialed your number
I am hooked
You pick up my call
But you say nothing but a yes
No matter what I say
You either say "hmm" or a "yes"
It's my spell on you
No matter what I say
But you say nothing but a yes
But who's ravishing?
You are ravishing!
What do I do?
You've captivated me!
Faces
Such pretty ones!
But don't doubt me
You're hotter than all else
You're my heartbeat
I hold you close to me
You're like a drug
I'm getting addicted to you
But you played me
I thought you were sweet like sugar
When you called me your sweetheart
But you turned out to be spicy!
I can't help but think of you
I don't know what's happening to me
Now that I dialed your number
I am hooked
You pick me my call
And say nothing but a yes
No matter what I say
You either say "hmm" or a "yes"
It's my spell on you
But you say nothing but a yes
No matter what I say
You either say "hmm" or a "yes"
But who's ravishing?
You are ravishing!
What do I do?
You've captivated me!
Bartender,
could you give me
a screaming orgasm, please?
You know, I've never had one!
What?
No.
Never?
I'm a defective piece!
I get turned on by just looking
at myself in the mirror.
These days I am seeing
only doom in the mirror!
This is the very problem.
You've become negative.
It's not a medal.
You don't have to win it.
Sex is a blast.
Talking from experience.
You hooked up with Arjun?
Arjun?
Arjun, dear.
Oh, Arjun.
No, dear.
I mean, he is sweet and all,
but I only do first base
with these uncle types.
Are you sure you're just 23?
You're too cute, babe!
- Fuck, babe!
- Sister!
I'm just an old prude.
Shall I give you some advice?
Do with the one who loves you.
Not the one whom you love.
What?
Okay, English?
"Do it with the person
who loves you.
Don't do it with
whom you love."
What happened?
Mom and Jeevika are sleeping here.
- There's no power in their room.
- Sorry.
Kanika... Oh, my God!
- Quiet...
- Sorry.
Kanika, you should have called me
from the party.
I would have picked you...
How do I look?
You always look superlative!
No. How do I look today, right now?
Something new?
Something extra?
Something different?
Just think of it like this, dear...
that if mom wasn't home tonight, then...
Then?
Would you have taken advantage of me?
What are you saying, Kanika?
Never.
Why?
Take advantage of me.
You have my permission. Take it.
Please take advantage of me.
I have only one fantasy, Kanika.
What is it?
To see you wearing
just a T-shirt.
Mine.
And you are cuddled up to me.
Not bad.
Right here on this bed.
We are...
Yeah?
- I can feel the heat between us.
- Yeah. And then?
Then you...
No, I am stroking your hair.
- You delicately take off my glasses.
- Yes.
Outside, it's drizzling.
Snacks are served with tea.
We both enjoy the snacks.
And what about sex?
Kanika.
Oh, my mom!
- Oh, God!
- Mom!
Sorry!
Sorry, Auntie.
It's me, Kanika.
Kanika, at this hour?
It's my birthday.
Bless me.
God, I'll die!
Sorry.
Yo, Jeevika!
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
By the way, sis,
brother's room is that way.
Nothing's gonna happen there.
Make him also sleep
between Mom and you!
Go for it!
What happened?
Oh, Mom, are you hurt?
What are you doing here?
Gifting Kanika the bracelet
you got for her on her birthday.
Now, let's go. Let's go.
I'll drop her.
- Switch off the light.
- Bye!
Massage Mom's hands.
Oh, this hurts!
I don't need your help.
Yes, Kanika.
I'm telling you I can take care of myself.
I want to do it.
I want to take care of you.
Oh, my...
Hey.
Jeevan, I'll take it from here.
No, let me drop you in.
Why? Because I'm a woman?
No.
And I have had too much to drink.
I am drunk,
I won't have control of my steps.
I might fall down.
I might create a ruckus.
Not this time, dear.
On this birthday...
Loser Kanika won't cause any chaos.
Loser Kanika?
You are a legend for me, Kanika.
You live the way you want to.
I'll be right behind you.
I won't let things get chaotic.
Take care.
Guard!
Where will I find a cab from?
- Yeah!
- I won!
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday, girl!
Where are you going? Come, join us.
No need for formality, Uncle.
It's 2:30 a.m.
No cheating, Malhotra.
I'll be right back.
Come, Kanu!
Dr. Malhotra just gets nervous sometimes.
But how are you home so early?
Why? Did I interrupt your play date?
Don't be silly. But didn't you
go out with that guy...
What's his name?
He's also Malhotra.
- What's his name?
- Arjun.
Arjun!
How was it with him?
Not as romantic as your night.
So sorry.
For tonight, or for life?
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, my baby doll!
Thank you, Grandma.
- Come with me.
- Not now, Grandma.
Come, I have a surprise for you.
For my doll.
Sit here.
No. No, no, no.
Your liver will rot.
Say yes to Jeevan's marriage proposal.
- What?
- Yes.
He is such a lovely boy.
- Shit.
- Dropped you here in your car,
and poor fellow took a cab back home.
Grandma, I forgot to file my taxes!
You were supposed to remind me.
Instead, you are stalking me
through the window!
I need to look out for you!
This house is doomed.
You are my responsibility, after all.
Break it.
Why is the Wi-Fi not working?
Hear me out.
If you get married this year,
then maybe in two years
you'll get pregnant.
Thirty-three, thirty-four...
She can get pregnant at 40
if she freezes her eggs.
So will she push babies out of the fridge?
When God has given her
a first-class apparatus to make babies,
why waste that blessing recklessly?
What recklessness, Grandma?
I'm just filing my tax certificate!
What will you achieve
by filing your tax certificate?
File for a marriage certificate!
Mom is single, Tina is divorced.
Tina's husband cheated on her, Grandma!
He had sex with someone else.
Enough!
Tell me something new.
He is a man. He will be a man.
We as women have to hold
a marriage together.
What soap opera is brainwashing you?
Okay.
Remember the time...
when you carried a baby like an armor
saying you were a revolutionary?
Kept telling me that
the world was changing.
All bogus!
The world will never change!
Then "Femi-sanam..."
Feminism.
Whatever it is,
that is what has brainwashed women!
Any problem, Bina?
You problem!
- The Kapoor family's fate is the problem!
- Kishori.
- Kishori, please.
- Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
- What's going on?
- Your son is older than Kanika.
You talk to me.
Right?
- Then why do you shamelessly come here?
- You...
- What the hell is going on?
- Relax.
- Every day is the same nuisance!
- You...
- Your boyfriend stinks of alcohol!
- You do this every day!
- Please! This can't be a daily drama!
- Have a drink.
Can I live my life?
- This is not a pub, it's my house!
- I did nothing wrong.
- Stop it!
- I'll do what I want.
- I have a life!
- What life?
Hey, Kanu!
Oh, Lord!
There she screws up again.
Kanika Kapoor is no more.
Yes. Everyone is saying she was drunk
and slipped off the staircase.
So sad!
But what was her problem?
Kanika's problem was that
she always played way outside her league.
For instance,
he would have said yes to her.
Right?
Or even these men.
But to dream of me?
Cute.
Her problem was
that she didn't know what she wanted.
Local beer,
or vintage wine.
One night stand or lifelong comfort.
Her problem was
that she didn't want a boyfriend,
she wanted a superhero.
If she gets hurt,
he should become her daddy.
And if she cries,
he should become her counselor.
It's best for her that she died.
She was alone anyway.
Otherwise, she would
have turned out like me.
- Bimla!
- Single till the end.
Coming!
Kanika's only problem was...
that she didn't say yes to my proposal.
Otherwise, her casket
wouldn't be decorated with flowers...
but with wedding jewelry.
No, Son, don't cry.
There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Everyone here is giving
her too much credit.
I'll tell you
what Kanika Kapoor's real problem was.
She didn't know how to pleasure men.
You know, she was vanilla in bed.
These days women wear colorful ones.
- Really?
- Yeah, all lacy and frilly ones.
But what color?
Red.
And blue.
But for whom?
And yellow for Mrs. Sharma.
Grandma, am I losing my mind?
It's not your fault.
It's in our genes.
Are the Kapoor women cursed?
That we all will die single?
There are no curses or miracles.
We are given a choice
every step of the way.
Life shapes up based
on the choices we make.
Your mother also had a choice.
But she trashed it.
Now, it's your turn.
I am a traveler on the road of love
Yes, dear?
Last night you were on a roll.
Jeevan, it's a yes.
When do we get engaged?
You want to get married, right?
Jeevan, are you crying?
I would marry you right now.
Like now.
Now...
Hell...
Hello?
Kanika?
My doll!
Thank you, God.
Have you completely lost your mind?
Wedding? That too with Jeevan?
Why?
What's the problem?
He loves me. He respects me.
I know he isn't as cool as us, so what?
I'm a catch for him, so what?
He's self-made and successful.
He owns four shops.
He'll keep me happy.
Shops of hand showers!
But at least a hand shower
is better than a hand job.
Virgin Kanika!
Mean girls!
We can never be equals!
Mean girls!
We can never be equals!
Just kidding, babe.
Saw your snaps last night on Instapix.
Arjun Malhotra.
Isn't he a little too young for you?
Babe, you know Kanika's taste.
Either a wheelchair
or a pram.
She's engaged.
Yes. Kanu is sorted for life.
- Sorted?
- What?
He's in retail.
Hand... Hardware.
Very rich. Old money and all.
Old money?
Yeah.
I'm engaged.
You guys must come for the engagement.
It's a special invitation.
So happy for you, babe.
Really?
Genuinely.
After all, can't sit alone at home forever
and be happy watching porn.
Right.
It's Rabeya's turn!
Rabeya!
Let's go. Come on.
- I have a sprain!
- Wait a sec.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Rabeya!
Rabeya!
Hi!
Your mom is too cute, yo!
She's single. You wanna be my dad?
- No.
- Okay, Miss Wedding Planner,
let's start planning for the D-day.
I'll faint out of excitement!
Fuck this shit, guys!
Do I not have the right
to celebrate something in life?
On my birthday,
I'm dreaming of my funeral.
That's a fucking sad life!
What do you want to celebrate?
Death of your desires?
Or a lifetime of vanilla in bed?
- Excuse me?
- What do you mean?
Does marriage mean vanilla in bed?
No and, one second.
What are you trying to say?
That Jeevan is impotent?
Exactly. For all we know,
he could be the don of sex.
I think he is.
Yeah, right.
His name is Jeevan Anand.
That's the name of an insurance policy!
You both know that, right?
And have you seen his face?
He looks like a virgin!
Can he even get it up?
Well, if he can't, we'll get it up!
Our actions will speak louder than words!
Look, guys.
Whatever it is,
I don't want to die alone.
Okay?
Go, Rabeya!
It's not that deep, bro!
Women love to complicate their lives
by over-analyzing.
Oh!
You all want a hot guy,
but you also want depth
in that relationship.
Why suffer so much?
It's just marriage.
Don't overthink.
Just do it.
Watch TV together every day.
Dinner dates on the weekends.
Hopefully, you have sex every 10-15 days.
And then every two or three months,
off to a hill station.
There's your happiness!
If you want extra happiness,
pop a beer during the day.
Order a fancy meal.
And there you go, happy, happy!
These savings were for her food business.
Now she wants to buy a bridal trousseau!
So?
Can't the plans change?
This is a hasty decision.
Maybe I should have gotten
pregnant like you, too. Right?
Be right back.
Why would I have married your father?
He didn't love me.
He pitied me.
Because I was pregnant with you.
That marriage would have been
a tick mark, that's it.
And this seems no different.
What's your problem, Mom?
I am getting married out of my own will.
You should be bloody happy for me, Mom.
- Kanu...
- No, you are the greatest.
You are a revolutionary.
You've scaled peaks. But I have not.
This marriage will be a tick mark, right?
I'm okay with a tick mark. Okay?
Kanu!
Save some money for yourself.
You'll need it soon!
Not everyone has this privilege, Kanu!
Your beloved is here to wed you
Come, Jeevan.
- Say yes, and come along!
- Mummy, my button...
Oh!
My heart sings
Even if you cannot hear it
Oh!
I've stolen your heart
And fled even if you're still to choose me
Why am I inadequate, my love?
I'm here to wed you
I dream about you night and day
Listen to me
I cannot stop loving you
I cannot stop listening to my heart
I want to bequeath you
my sweetest memories...
It's a lonely road
- The road of love. Will we unite?
- Kanika?
-It will be dawn once the night is gone
-Smoke?
What's it?
Toys for the after-party!
What is all this?
It's the time to disco, baby!
Well done.
This rose is to misuse,
seduce, and let out the juice!
You guys are crazy.
Oh!
My heart sings
Even if you cannot hear it
Got a small instead of a medium, right?
You're looking nice.
Screw nice! I want to look like a catch!
Steaming! Hot!
People need to go crazy.
Why are all women in denial, bro?
Don't compare your waistline with anyone!
But it is natural.
That's not natural.
Baby, your cholesterol
level is not natural.
Have some apples for once, man.
Who eats healthy on a picnic?
Okay then, I'm fasting for your long life,
and you want to make me a widow.
What do you mean widow?
Why are you scolding me
like our school principal?
Do I ever say anything to you
when you drink like a fish?
Have I ever called you a drunkard?
Do I ever call you out? I don't, right?
Actually, you do you.
No doctor can tell you better.
I'm fed up of being told what to do!
"Karan, do this. Karan, do that.
Karan, sit there. Karan, sleep there.
- Karan, don't wear this T-shirt."
- Guys!
I've been listening to you
ever since we got married.
I'm not a child!
Your beloved is here to wed you
Say yes, and come along!
Oh!
My heart sings
Even if you cannot hear it
Oh!
I've stolen your heart
And fled even if you're still to choose me
I'll die.
We were almost going to do it.
Like, we made out and everything.
Everything was going smoothly.
And then,
by mistake, I touched his crotch.
I flipped out.
The first time should be special.
In the confusion of to-do or not-to-do,
I made a funeral out of it!
By the way, your boy Rohan,
is he even a good kisser?
It starts off well,
and then it gets really sloppy.
You also did it in high school, right?
So what?
No big deal.
First love, true love,
it's all bullshit, Rabeya!
It was pointless of me
to put pressure on my virginity.
I think you're right.
I am also putting a lot of pressure
on my virginity!
Excuse me! That's not what I'm saying.
Boys are assholes, Rabeya.
They fuck you up emotionally,
and then you'll constantly
doubt yourself...
Look,
what I am trying to say...
is that don't pressurize yourself.
Do it when you're ready.
Let's go home now.
Jeevan and his friends
are coming home for dinner!
Come on.
Don't look there.
- What are you looking at?
- Don't look there.
Dearest Brother-in-law!
Your turn now.
Come on. Come.
- Go on.
- Let's dance.
KANIKA'S JEEVAN
WELCOME TO THE ENGAGEMEN- Hello. How are you?
- Welcome.
Congratulations!
My to-be son-in-law!
Come here.
- You look pretty.
- Namaste.
- Hello.
- Who is he?
You are still working on the decor!
Yesterday was the deadline!
What the...
Kanika ma'am said
she doesn't need this anymore!
She has downed two painkillers
and a vodka shot.
She is ready!
Tell me something
Haven't you walked in alone?
Glad you are at the club tonight
What excuse did you make at home?
Why are you looking so lonely?
We are in the club
So you might as well show me
Pour that drink up slowly
'Cause I don't wanna go home
I wanna see you back it up
Back it up, one time now
Back it up, back it up two times
Back it up, back it up, and rewind now
I wanna see you pull up, pull up, yeah
When you mix magic
In the wine, my desi girl
I get high
Don't mind me tonight, desi girl
You got me grinding up on you
When you mix magic
In the wine, my desi girl
I get high
Don't mind me tonight, desi girl
You got me grinding up on you
- Kanika Kapoor.
- Yes.
You've inspired me!
Me?
How?
I am also thinking of settling down.
No!
With Rushi?
- Are you gonna propose?
- No.
We broke up.
I'm so sorry, Arjun.
I had no idea.
Not at all.
Okay.
What is this?
Is that a serpent?
Yeah, it's a serpent.
I find serpents very sexy.
Let this moment not break
-Bring me closer to you
-Excuse me.
Hold me tight
DJ, let me hear you pull up
Pull up, yeah!
When you mix magic
In the wine, my desi girl
I get high
Don't mind me tonight, desi girl
You got me grinding' up on you
When you mix magic
In the wine, my desi girl
I get high
Don't mind me tonight, desi girl
You got me grinding' up on you
Rahul!
Thank you for coming.
I feel this should be the title
of my autobiography.
Waiter!
- I feel we are going to fight again.
- Why?
You really bullshitted me, right?
A big fat Indian wedding!
The decor, the glam!
"I don't want commitment.
I'm too cool!"
Yeah, that thing people say,
"Me and my solitude."
That might be very
tempting to other people.
But solitude for me, really sucks!
You don't need to explain anything to me.
I get you, Kanika Kapoor.
I get you.
First, hear me out
And hold your glass up
I haven't come alone
I've come with my girls
But I am a little high right now
And I slip when I hear you talk
You've got a swagger in your walk
You are conquering hearts along the way
Toast to that
Your bravado is attractive
Let this moment not break
Bring me closer to you
Hold me tight
DJ, let me hear you pull up
Pull up, yeah!
When you mix magic
In the wine, my desi girl
I get high
Don't mind me tonight, desi girl
You got me grinding' up on you
When you mix magic
In the wine, my desi girl
I get high
Don't mind me tonight, desi girl
You got me grinding' up on you
Oh, my!
Is this the Professor
or his younger brother?
Someone broke my heart
and left me a few years back.
Just burning calories
to mend that broken heart.
After our breakup,
you've become sexy and hot!
But be careful,
don't slip a disc again.
Who will have your back now?
If fate has it,
someone will come by.
Like you found someone.
"Jee-won!"
I wasn't looking for "someone".
I was looking for "the one".
This is for you.
It's written by me.
For you.
Read it when you're alone.
Hello.
I am Kanika's plus one.
You?
I am her minus one.
Professor.
Oh!
Guru.
- What are you doing, Jeevan?
- What...
How do you manage to look this young?
I am young!
Oh, yes, the chiseled jawline!
- Excuse me.
- Yes.
Come, kids, it's time.
That's my mom.
- Hello, Mom.
- Hello.
Don't mind me tonight, desi girl
You got me grinding' up on you
DJ, hold it!
Wait, Pinky!
- Come.
- Come on.
Here's the mic.
Ladies and gentlemen.
This is our darling.
Like our Jeevan calls her...
superlative.
And now...
that my brother is unlocking his dreams,
so why shouldn't we be the ones
to gift him the key?
Come, come, uncle.
Wow! Not bad!
- What's this?
- They'll explain.
So from today,
- Jeevan and Kanika's new address is...
- Uncle.
B-141, Punjabi Bagh.
Dream house for the dream team!
Come on, play!
Come, come. Look. One second.
Love birds have finally set foot
In their adobe
We welcome the daughter-in-law
As our own
Your mother-in-law and sister
Will be the guiding light
Amazing.
To dispel all loneliness from our hearts
Can't wait for you to add
Your magic touch
Shut the fuck up!
Welcome to the family!
Yes! Wonderful!
Congratulations!
Come on.
Stand here.
Yeah, it's alright!
- Don't forget the key!
- Move.
Oh, you move there!
Yeah, be with him.
Awesome.
- Oh!
- Will you marry me?
My sweet son!
Wow, she said yes.
Congratulations!
Live long and prosper, my child.
Punjabis rule the world!
Are you freaking out?
Obviously.
Didn't you say it's just marriage?
Don't overthink it. Just do it.
Me? When?
Forget it.
Just drink your fears away!
Rock it.
Kanika looks like she's on cloud nine!
Marriage is suiting her.
When she was dating me,
you must be worried, right?
What's there to worry about?
Everyone makes mistakes.
Haven't we made enough?
Thank you.
You're right.
Move past the old mistakes.
Make new ones.
Fresh ones.
Hey!
Still single?
Always.
And you?
Always.
By the way, what are you doing tomorrow?
I want you to meet
the ageless poet Gulzar.
He's my buddy.
Really?
I love his poetry!
I'll give you a call. Cheers!
Why does everything feel so right today?
So perfect.
Maybe the drinks are kicking in.
Or maybe I was never the problem.
Maybe the problem was my idea of love.
Maybe Prince Charming doesn't exist.
I think Grandma is right.
"We are given a choice
every step of the way.
Life shapes up
based on the choices we make."
Okay then,
I've made my choice today.
Screw these fairy tales.
Burn the frog prince.
From today,
no more Loser Kanika.
Only Mrs. Kanika Jeevan Anand.
"Happily ever after" is a myth.
Happy is good enough.
Kanu, I can't handle it!
We've become old!
My head is exploding.
Can't party like 16 anymore!
I got it, Tina.
My head is pounding.
Tina, it happened.
By the way, that babe Rushi,
what a firecracker!
She's so funny!
I've never seen anyone
burn the dance floor
with such heavenly moves. I was like...
I was in heaven, Tina!
I finally had an orgasm!
What!
Sorry.
I told you.
I told you Jeevan is the don of sex.
What position did you surrender in?
The nation wants to know!
I am not sure!
Bro, did it happen once or multiple?
And how long did he last?
Did he cuddle you?
Were my DVDs helpful?
Cool.
Did you use the condom or not?
Or did you keep going
in the spur of the moment?
And hats off to Jeevan.
Jeevan!
- Who's the one?
- Jeevan!
- Who's the one?
- Jeevan!
I'm not sure, guys!
I am not sure.
Was it Jeevan, or...
I am not sure.
It has to be Jeevan.
You were stuck to him like glue.
I saw it.
She was also glued to the Professor!
And also with Arjun.
Well, don't forget Rahul.
And also with that sweet vendor. So what?
With who?
Well...
Gopal!
I wanna have some sugar!
Gopal!
Looks like Gopal got
some sugar last night.
Shut up! Idiot.
She is a sucker for drama,
and you are fueling the fire.
Kanu, it has to be Jeevan!
He took the room key from me last night.
He indulged in pre-marital sex.
Right?
Jeevan has done
what no one in your life could do.
And instead of revering him,
you are dismissing him.
Heartless!
You're right, I'm heartless.
Yes.
- I'm heartless.
- Yeah.
- It has to be Jeevan.
- Yes.
- Right?
- Of course.
Okay, let's go.
Go where?
- Come on.
- But where?
- Hurry!
- Yeah, okay.
- Yo, Jeevika.
- Hey!
Sister-in-law?
So early in the morning?
Where's my Jeevan?
You aren't tired, I see.
No, thanks.
- I told you...
- Hello, Auntie.
Bless you and always be happy!
You set the dance floor
on fire last night.
Auntie, where's Jeevan?
- He's sleeping upstairs.
- Okay.
- Wait up.
- Yes?
Didn't you guys
pull an all-nighter last night?
Mom, it wasn't just a late-nighter,
our prince came home early morning today!
Good morning, dear.
Good morning, dear.
Jeevan...
wake up.
Okay.
Good morning.
- Kanika?
- Jeevan.
Now just concentrate on this, okay?
I didn't register anything last night.
Seems like you are still tipsy.
Call me tipsy if you like,
but I want to reach heaven again.
So, let loose now.
And let's loosen these clothes.
Hold on, dear.
Mom!
Don't hold it in, Jeevan.
You made me reach the closest to heaven.
- Can't hold on now.
- What happened?
Oh, my God! Kanika!
Kanika. Oh, my God!
Kanika, yes!
Thanks.
It's the...
first time we got this far,
so...
I couldn't control it.
But what about last night?
No...
you were dropping hints all night.
But then suddenly,
you took the room key from me...
and disappeared into the night.
Are you upset with me?
No, Jeevan.
I have gotten so used to
being naughty with you in my dreams.
This was finally happening for real...
and I couldn't hold back.
Jeevan, can I give you a hug?
Didn't ask for permission
while being naughty.
You are a cheater!
I love you.
What the hell is happening here?
You've slept with someone else
on your engagement night.
So you're definitely not attracted
to your fiance.
- Then, why the drama?
- Hold on a second.
Men do it all the time.
At their bachelor parties,
they leave no stone unturned,
and then they show up at their own wedding
like nothing ever happened.
It's a tradition.
Our girl has lived up to it, that's it.
Kanu, you've gotten engaged now,
in your stubbornness.
But why get married?
You just want a tick mark, that's it.
Isn't that the end goal?
Yes, I want a tick mark.
I want to get married, okay?
I don't want to end up like Dr. Kapoor.
I am not going to find
a man better than Jeevan.
Let's just accept it.
I'm not letting go of him.
Pass me that.
But we have to solve this mystery.
With Delhi aunties around,
gossip will spread like wildfire.
Trust me.
Yeah, fine, I'm in.
Make it or break it.
Thanks.
Find the hotel manager's number.
Let's check the CCTV.
And what will you say to him?
"Groom and whom?"
Guys,
the man who has given the orgasm
must have given a special gift, too.
Let's open the gifts.
Guys, Rahul.
He's given a check. He's the best.
Amount?
Guys, one lakh.
Bro,
Arjun gave you a mixer grinder.
But the most boring
of all is the Professor.
He's palmed off a book.
Cheapskate!
- This one's empty. Look at it.
- So cheap!
- Who gave this?
- Some people just come to eat!
Don't you remember my wedding?
My heart longs for those moments
When I just sit thinking of my beloved
My heart longs for those moments
When I just sit thinking of my beloved
I get lost in her thoughts
For hours together
"It's enough for me.
You wouldn't accept it,
but you know that
somewhere,
something is still unresolved."
Wow, Professor, so romantic.
Read it till the end, my beloved.
Had Gupta not popped up that day,
then that engagement ring...
would have been mine.
Things can still change, Professor.
Right?
- Professor has rewritten history!
- Now?
But how did these feelings sprout back
after so many years?
When we were together, absolutely zilch!
And now they're back?
Guys, even Veer found Zara again
after 14 years! Right?
But Professor has a 30-year-old son!
A hot son.
Exactly!
What will he call me?
Mommy Junior?
He's considered the king of songs.
He's the ageless poet Gulzar.
Now some classics written by him,
and some songs in his own voice.
My heart longs for those moments
What if this is destiny?
What if Professor Shekhar
is your prince charming?
Increase the volume for Mommy Junior!
When I just sit thinking of my beloved
I get lost in her thoughts
For hours together
My heart longs for those moments
When I just sit thinking of my beloved
My heart longs for those moments
What should I say now?
Exemplar, beautiful.
I wish I could kiss you.
Professor!
Kanika Didi?
Rushi?
Oh, my darling! What a surprise!
Didi!
But...
Same?
Oh!
I'm...
- Well...
- Oh! I'm...
Fuck! I'm just so...
I'm...
- I'll be back.
- Sorry!
Kanika, give me a chance to explain.
I thought at least you'd understand
the pain of loneliness.
What happened?
Nothing. This is for you.
- She forgot her book.
- You keep both.
Shall I serve lunch?
And will the young girl also eat?
Yes, she will also eat.
Guys, it wasn't the Professor.
- We know.
- We know.
How?
Take a look.
Come on, let's go to Gurgaon.
- No.
- Yes.
- No.
- Yes.
I am unbelievable!
What's this secret den
where he asked us to meet?
He's a total party animal, dude!
I have come from
An unknown land of secrets
I bring stories of spring from there
Don't touch me, stay away
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
Don't touch me, stay away
I wish someone would come in my arms
And take these secrets from me
I wish someone could see through my eyes
And understand these signs
Don't touch me, stay away
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
Don't touch me, stay away
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
Yo, I came out to you last night.
You were the one who said,
"I accept you for who you are!
No matter what."
And then we were dancing on the table.
"Ghungroo toot gaye."
Kanika,
you don't remember anything?
Even today,
memory loss after two drinks?
Rahul.
Anjali.
All that I see happening with you...
did it happen before me or after me?
I think...
I think during.
- During!
- Hey!
Listen,
we need to talk.
- Sorry, I'm getting ready.
- Yeah.
I thought you'd figure it out.
You'd leave me.
But your self-doubt surpassed
even my self-doubt.
That means it wasn't you as well.
Wasn't?
But where?
Last night...
I did it with someone else.
Did what?
Sex.
Shit, and you won't remember who.
I think you need a shot, girl.
Cheers!
I love this track.
Bro, how much time will you take?
Can't you make one drink quickly?
Kanika Didi?
What are the chances?
You are here as well.
I'm happiness.
I'm everywhere.
Yes, babe!
Isn't she a sweetheart?
I just had to invite her.
All the sexiest ladies in the house!
- Look at her, not at me!
- Yes.
Cheers.
What happened? Tell me.
I ain't no sexy girl!
Listen, I think you're one of the most
gorgeous and sexiest women in the world!
That's why you swung
the other way completely?
Listen, if you were not you,
I wouldn't be me!
Mumma!
So grumpy!
Last night, you were on a roll.
You were glowing!
- I was really off my rocker last night.
- Yesterday...
- Last night she slept with someone else.
- Really?
Come on. Why are you stressing?
It's just sex.
Nothing to kill yourself over!
I know the timing is a bit off.
No, bro!
First time in my life,
my timing was bang on.
Not off at all!
First time in my life...
For the very first time,
I got the timing right.
What? Does that mean you...
She won the gold medal.
Finally, some idiot cracked it.
Why didn't you ever say this before?
How was I to know that
you're also a sister?
Hello, bitches!
Let's go!
Listen,
why didn't you ever tell
any of your boyfriends this?
Who tells the boyfriend?
And you know how boys are.
They make everything about themselves.
And it is, honey.
These guys don't have a clue what to do.
We sisters have to beg to be pleased.
Just like this.
Give me some fun, for heaven's sake!
Let's go, bitches!
So you're sure that Jeevan
wasn't the one who "won"?
Don't be sick!
And that Professor!
He fled leaving you alone
on the hotel trolley
to go and see Rushi!
"Kanika Didi.
I am happiness.
I'm everywhere!"
But who was the one
who gave me this happiness?
Arjun!
- It wasn't Arjun!
- How the fuck do you know?
Trust me,
I know.
- No!
- Yes.
- No!
- Yes.
- No!
- Yes! Yes.
Arjun?!
Fuck!
What have you dumped in this?
Anjali.
I have one for you.
I'm not gonna "drag" this.
My sense of humor is too good.
I should be a stand-up comedian.
I want to see you at the wedding.
You have to come.
If I don't come, will you cancel it?
Now that you have decided to live the lie,
then live it happily.
You aren't living your truth either!
Correct.
And I'm not proud of it.
If I had the slightest option,
I'd choose to be me...
24/7.
You have a choice.
That's why I want
to slap some sense into you.
Hey!
Thank you for coming!
Your turn to come now.
Loser Kanika!
We meet again.
Listen, Neha...
I'm begging you,
please don't trouble me today.
Why not today, bitch?
Where was the after-party?
Your friend Pallavi said room 602.
Devyani and I came up.
We kept knocking, kept knocking.
Then we called Pallavi.
She didn't answer.
- Then?
- We said, "Let's bounce, then."
And then all of a sudden
the room door opened.
We said, "Fine, enjoy without us."
You were really out there today!
I just saw the professor
running down the corridor.
Today I can have fun. It's the last day.
And that Weirdo Karan of yours,
he was puking around the lift.
And what exactly were
you two doing inside?
Fucking answer!
Fucking answer!
Pick up the goddamn phone, Pallavi.
Fuck it! I can't do this.
I just can't.
I can't do this.
No, no, no.
Pallavi, listen.
At last night's after-party,
Tina and you were also there
with Karan and me?
Wasn't last night's after-party canceled?
Fuck!
Yes, Jeevan.
The whole night was like a party,
so I got confused.
Did you call by mistake?
No, I made a mistake.
After this morning's episode,
I tried calling you so many times.
But didn't hear from you. No message,
no forward.
When have I ever sent you a forward?
That's also true.
I'm a little out of it right now.
Please, can I call you later?
Dear, listen,
just check my display picture at least.
Why?
Karan sent it to me.
You look so cute in this.
And look at you digging
your favorite pizza,
I was the one who sent it.
But...
when did you both click this?
And...
whose shoes are you wearing, dear?
Yeah, there we go!
- Show me.
- Wait.
- Show me.
- Wait...
Such a good photo.
It's crap, Karan.
You're unbelievable!
By the way,
you know what they say about big feet!
Pallavi must be milking it!
But should I tell you something?
Yeah?
Pallavi and you,
at the garden picnic, fought really badly.
Like cats and dogs.
Losers!
What's going on?
Your friend Pallavi has turned
me into a project, for God's sake!
"If you change this,
you can do better."
Is she my wife or a rehab?
Even if I were thinner,
it wouldn't matter to her.
She's a psycho!
But listen,
please don't do all this after marriage.
Don't try to fix Jeevan like a project.
You must be crazy.
How can I make Jeevan a project?
I hope he makes me his project.
What did they call me in school?
First, virgin.
Then,
slut.
Then,
vanilla.
To hell with that!
First time in my life,
I'm getting respect.
First time.
That's why we get along.
I know we lost touch for a few years.
But who are we?
- Who?
- Mediocre!
Broken confidence.
Yes.
Yet both of us aim for the stars.
Hoping that a superhero, a superheroine
will come to rescue us.
Correct! Losers.
Correct.
Now, ask me,
who is Kanika Kapoor?
Who is Kanika Kapoor?
You are a strong woman.
- I'm a strong woman?
- Of course.
- Hearty!
- You must be joking.
Funny!
You are a little sexy as well.
Are you hitting on me?
You said it's your last day today,
so just trying...
Humpty Dumpty!
Don't eat that.
- But where are you off to?
- Shit!
Had a great fall?
Look at her eyes!
She must be drunk!
Call the cops!
I'll file a drink-and-drive case
against this woman!
Just calm down.
- Isn't it a cruel joke?
- Spare her. Let's settle this.
Try to understand.
-For years, I walked alone, safely
-Is this her bag?
-I want to be yours
-You're a smart man. Please leave.
Till I keep breathing
Just yours
This is not me
Believe me
Look
I'm laughing at myself as well!
You laugh too
At me
I want to keep tripping
Lose myself, forget myself
This is not for me, Jeevan.
Isn't it a cruel joke?
Jeevan, tea?
You have done nothing wrong.
You are a good man.
A very good soul, but...
I am not good for you.
Do whatever you feel like.
You can curse me as much as you like.
But I promise that after two years,
you'll be thanking me.
You won't find happiness with me.
I am happy even now!
What's the problem with me?
I own a first-class business,
I own a house,
I have a loving family.
I may not have those chiseled features,
but I have a strong personality.
I'll find someone.
Because of you,
I said no to six other marriage proposals.
The question is... what will you do?
Isn't it a cruel joke?
For years, I walked alone, safely
Isn't it a cruel joke?
Are you mimicking me?
Or genuinely tripping too?
I can't believe this is happening
Next station, Subhash Nagar.
Yeah, Rabeya?
Auntie...
Rabeya, are you crying?
Hello?
Rabeya? Hello...
Rabeya, what's up?
Check your phone.
Rabeya?
That asshole...
he leaked it.
I'm getting broadcasted.
Baby...
Rabeya, don't worry about it.
He made a foolproof plan.
He chose the fucking timing.
I have to give a graduation speech today.
I'm getting
the Board topper certificate today.
Mamma's saying
she doesn't want to see my face.
I'm on fucking memes.
I've gone viral.
Rabeya, don't lose hope.
We will fix everything.
Just don't cry.
Rabeya, you're a strong girl.
You have to be strong.
You're a strong girl. Okay, Rabeya?
Everyone is calling me "Slutty Rabeya".
Tell us, how was Kanika in bed?
She ain't no fireworks for sure.
- She's a loser.
- Why?
She is bland.
Touch her anywhere,
she just lies there like a corpse.
"I won't do that, I won't do this."
She is a defective piece.
I swear, she's a bore.
- Is she that type of girl?
- A lesbian?
Don't mind,
but how did you not figure it out?
I mean she had a mustache
since kindergarten. So...
My heart screams in pain
But is there anyone who can hear it?
No matter how much I try
I only get tears in return
There's only one face
I see in front of my eyes
Of my shattered self
There's only one face
I see in front of my eyes
I wonder why life is so painful
Why can't passing time be frozen
Just for a moment?
It's inevitable
What's lost will never come back
You slept with my husband!
I have just seen you ruin it all!
- From the Hotel CCTV.
- Pallavi!
- What is this behavior?
- You fucking bitch!
- How dare you!
- Leave her.
What is this rowdy behavior, Pallavi?
I learned it from your daughter.
What's the matter?
That's why you didn't want us
to check the CCTV footage, Loser Kanika!
No, Pallavi.
There must be some
misunderstanding, Pallavi.
I have been misunderstanding it
all this while.
Twenty-five years of friendship
was my misunderstanding.
Pallavi, please!
- Listen...
- What did they say in school?
Don't say that, please.
That Kanika ain't built for relationships.
It's not in her!
They were right!
I had one wholesome relationship,
my marriage.
I was holding it tight,
I wasn't letting it break!
No, Pallavi. I am sorry.
Just stop touching me! You disgust me!
Pallavi, try and understand.
How dare you...
give my daughter, Rabeya, advice!
You've done nothing good
with your own life.
Why are you messing up my daughter's life?
Rabeya has done no wrong.
Wrong has happened to her. She needs us!
Auntie, shut up!
You should be the last one to lecture...
on morality.
It feels like a joke!
No matter how hard one tries...
to be both, a father and a mother,
to raise a child,
give them a normal life.
To keep them away from one's own mistakes.
But some asshole always comes around
to take a piss on the efforts, right?
Don't say that, Tina.
You've raised a solid girl!
I've fucked her up, Dr. Kapoor.
Just like you!
Today is her graduation speech.
Instead, she's going to give
an apology speech!
- And it's all because of you!
- Stop it!
How dare you touch her?
Get out of here.
Get out of my house!
Out right away!
Rabeya needs us.
Why don't you all
just mind your own business?
- Are you okay?
- Kanu!
Shameless mother!
Shameless daughter!
That's also my fault, right?
You don't want to take any responsibility!
"Kanu, is your mother unmarried?
You are a bastard child.
Filthy!"
No...
"Vanilla in bed.
Touch her anywhere.
She just lies there like a corpse.
Kanu, you've never had an orgasm?
Shit.
What a feeling."
I should have given up a long time ago.
In this abnormal family,
how can anyone be normal?
What is normal?
Seventy percent of women in the world have
never had an orgasm in their whole lives.
Because 90% of the men
don't know how to do it.
That's why I tell my patients,
"Do it yourself", it is the key
to happiness.
If this were a man's problem,
then it would be breaking news.
There would be protests on the streets.
So many movies would have been
made on the issue.
But we are women!
Women can't make demands.
They are the epitome of sacrifice!
Their sole purpose
is to make others happy.
And, honestly,
our wiring isn't simple either.
When there is no pleasure here and here,
then how will we find pleasure there?
The three are connected.
Yes, but you can't find this pleasure with
your best friend's husband, Dr. Kapoor!
I am a defective piece!
Your daughter is cursed.
Careful.
Cursed?
I thought so, too.
Everyone was so disappointed with me...
when I decided that
you would be in my life.
Not your biological father!
Kanu, I was terrified.
I thought maybe society was right,
and I was wrong.
I started to doubt myself.
But,
like how you don't want to be
like your mother,
I didn't want to be like my mother.
I wanted to live my life on my own terms.
Even if the whole world was cursing me.
They must be cursing me too, now.
Maybe.
But everyone's happiness
is not our problem.
Only our happiness is. It's our right!
We won't make do
with this "tick mark life".
Neither for me nor for my daughter.
There's no reason to be sorry.
Because where there is shame and guilt,
happiness can never find its way.
Are you happy now?
I am.
Look at yourself.
You're intelligent.
You're independent.
You are a little funny, too.
And until sometime back,
you had the best of friends
who would die for you.
You've fought for 30 years
for your fairy tale.
So I guess,
I must have done something right.
But this time, I've messed up big time.
And only you can fix it.
Every action has its consequences.
Easy! It's hurting.
Kanu.
You remember in sixth grade,
you got an anonymous Valentine's card
in your room?
Obviously, Mom.
It was the only one I got in life.
Karan gave it.
What?
He came home to leave it in your room.
He told me not to tell you.
And then you found Bunny.
And he got close to Pallavi.
And life just happened.
But you know,
it used to happen a lot
in those melodramas,
"My journey has led me to you."
Sounds cheap...
but it's true.
When there is something unresolved
between two people,
the feelings can resurface.
If this was a melodrama,
then you would be pregnant tomorrow.
What an after-party!
With you,
my whole life feels like a party!
Thrilling, electrifying,
amazing party.
And we all are...
side dancers.
And you,
center stage.
Center stage?
Center stage?
I'm center stage.
You're a champion!
Diva.
Seductive.
Steaming!
Foxy.
I'm the star!
I'm the heroine!
Center stage.
Main lead.
Heroine.
I have come from
An unknown land of secrets
I bring stories of spring from there
Don't touch me, stay away
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
Don't touch me
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
Mom!
What were you two...
You said,
"Do it yourself" is the key to happiness.
- I did it!
- What?
- I did it! Grandma, I did it!
- What...
What happened?
My journey has led me to my own self!
Thank you!
It wasn't Karan.
What is she babbling?
Thank you for coming, Kanika.
Where are you running like a lunatic?
- Yes!
- Have you gone mad?
Stop!
At least call Jeevan!
- Grandma!
- Hey!
We've paid the wedding caterer
for 250 people already!
Everyone has received
the wedding invite as well!
For once, do the right thing!
That's what I'm going to do, Grandma!
First time in my life,
I am going to do the right thing.
Hold on!
She left.
Kishori.
What did you mother-daughter talk about?
Say something.
What bullshit is it this time?
You both have gone crazy!
I am going back to Punjab.
Get my tickets done!
- Wait, hear me out.
- I'm leaving.
Kanika!
I've been trying to reach you for so long!
My wife has gone Tarzan on me.
And don't believe her, nothing happened.
Obviously, nothing happened.
How can anything happen?
Why not?
We had a real vibe.
After I left, who went into the room?
And we are extremely ashamed.
And don't want to point fingers
or blame anyone.
But both parties have to take
equal responsibility.
From our end,
Rohan Khurana stands suspended.
By her choice,
our head girl and school topper
would like to say a few words.
Rabeya Das.
Respected teachers,
dear friends,
dearest mother,
- I'm so...
- Rabeya!
Auntie.
No, no, no!
- Just shut up!
- Auntie!
Isn't that Kanika Kapoor?
What is she doing here?
Respected teachers,
students, parents,
I am Kanika Kapoor from class...
No, I'm not from any class obviously.
I'm an alumna of this school and...
and today after 17 years,
I have set foot in this auditorium
to say what Rabeya Das isn't able to say.
To hell with you all.
Kanu, stop it!
Why should she say sorry?
Will you all forget if she says sorry?
You didn't forget my episode!
Asked a question, say sorry.
Gave an answer, say sorry.
Caught with a boyfriend, say sorry.
Broke up with a boyfriend, say sorry.
Hooked up, be sorry.
Didn't enjoy the hookup, be more sorry.
Kick her out!
A woman has to apologize more
than a man in prison.
Why does a strong woman threaten you?
If she lives on her terms,
what's your problem?
We deserve happiness.
I deserve happiness.
I'll be shameless and
I'll grab my happiness.
Boys and girls have sex.
Hi, Neha Oberoi.
My mother and I are single,
and I am not ashamed of it!
I'm fine with it, babe.
And you three,
uncles of the first order!
I had this feeling about the three of you.
That soon you'll match
each other's receding hairline.
Amaan Singh, Nikhil Mittal,
and your Mr. Universe... Bunny Bhatia.
You are God's gift to mankind!
You are an asshole.
And I am Loser Kanika,
and I am not ashamed of it.
I am not ashamed!
That's why you slept with my husband!
Pallavi, just sit down!
Don't be silly! He is a friend.
He was there only for ten minutes!
- Ten minutes is more than enough for him!
- Shut up!
Pallavi, just stop it! Sit!
Please stop it.
They will cancel her college scholarship.
How can they do that, Tina?
Look at your daughter.
She's an honors student, the head girl.
Cambridge has offered her a scholarship.
One day, she'll be giving out jobs
to these losers!
You're a champion, Rabeya Das.
You're sensitive, loving,
respectful, non-judgmental.
This is who you are, Rabeya.
Not the silly mistake you made.
You know what?
We all make silly mistakes.
You're right, Auntie.
I am not ashamed of this video.
- Rabeya!
- I did nothing wrong in it.
Come back down!
- Please!
- Rabeya!
But all those who
helped spread this video,
you all should be ashamed.
Rabeya, don't.
It was an honest moment of love.
- Rabeya...
- No, Rabeya!
- Rabeya Das!
- Rabeya!
- Kanu, please!
- Security!
I don't want to say sorry!
I don't want to become thin!
I don't want to wear a bra!
I don't want to believe
in traditional values!
I don't want to get my eyebrows done!
I don't want to study math!
Smash patriarchy!
Smash patriarchy!
Smash patriarchy!
Smash patriarchy!
Smash patriarchy!
Rabeya, stop. Rabeya, come down!
- Come.
- Stay away!
Back off.
This journey continues beyond the sky
The threads of the world cannot stop it
The ones that had stopped
Are now running as dreams
Where will they halt now?
Life, the one that we've touched
Even our nature has a new color
Neither do we know ourselves
Nor anyone else
So live for today
Is there any more of it?
You both are super brave, Tina!
Grandma, the most!
What happened?
There are new moments...
New conversations, new days!
Everything has changed
Kanu, if I had married
your biological father,
then our surname
would have been Singhal.
That means our status
would be in our name!
No way.
Yes, that's a fact.
Kanika Kapoor Singhal.
Grandma, it's funny!
- You can laugh!
- Laugh.
Grandma!
What is happiness?
It is not some secret that you unlock.
It's a choice.
Every second of every day.
And if you haven't followed
the story up until now,
just know that...
"Happily ever after"
is for you when you're with you.
So the forward of my story will be,
"Once upon a time,
Kanika Kapoor met Kanika Kapoor.
And they lived happily ever after."
Around the world,
girls are brought up with fairy tales.
Every fairy tale
has the same old story.
The princess kisses a frog,
who turns into a prince,
and then they both live
happily ever after.
I also believed it, sister!
But my story starts...
My story begins with "The End."
And my fairy tale got screwed up.
THIS STORY STARTED IN 1996, IN DELHI
Chapter one.
Delhi...
1996.
What a wonderful creature!
Holy Priest,
please perform a sacred ritual,
so that this royal court
is blessed with a child we can call ours.
Offer this enchanted mango
to the princess.
Once consumed,
she will surely conceive.
Hold on. Wait a minute!
That is not how babies are made.
First, boys and girls need to have sex.
Come, let me tell you
a not-so-perfect fairy tale.
I'm the hero. Kanika Kapoor.
- That's Dr. Kapoor, right?
- Yes.
Which mother raises a child like this?
Child out of wedlock!
- Why does a child know this?
- Mother's a gynec, after all.
What else will the daughter learn?
Style icon?
Really? Didn't you hear what she said?
Who did you learn these dirty things from?
From Mamma.
Shameless!
I don't want to confuse my child,
Mrs. Kukreja.
- I run a home clinic and patients come...
- Mrs. Kapoor.
Miss.
Miss Kapoor.
I'm sorry.
Miss Kapoor.
But if Kanika wants to stay
in this school,
she will have to apologize
in front of the whole school.
You see, it's very important
- for her moral growth.
- Right.
How will a lie help
in my child's moral growth?
Kanika will not say sorry.
- Kanika has to say sorry.
- No, she won't.
- She will!
- My daughter will not say sorry!
Kishori, Kanika won't say sorry.
Bina, shut up!
I am sorry, I said the wrong thing...
- so, I'm very...
- Loser Kanika!
Stop it! Silence.
Loser Kanika!
From a sworn princess to Loser Kanika!
Nothing was normal in my life. Ever.
- But could I change that?
- Are you sure?
Hey, what's wrong with us?
Miss Kapoor!
We clearly told you
we don't rent flats to single ladies.
But you have a little daughter,
so we allowed you.
But bringing boyfriends over
won't be allowed.
And that night,
Grandma made me realize
that a spinster princess can never find
their "happily ever after."
That's why, very early on in life,
I began...
the R and D for my charming frog prince.
Hit him.
Maybe there was still hope
for my fairy tale.
And the next chapter of life...
"The seduction of youth!"
Youthful lover and a sultry sweetheart
When two young hearts meet
They are bound to surrender
Youthful lover and a sultry sweetheart
Finally, I meet my charming frog prince.
The real confusion starts now.
Will you give me some, Virgin Kanika?
I meant the Virgin Mojito!
The princess in a fairy tale
is fed with all sorts of lousy notions.
They say, "Just sit and smile coyly."
Bullshit!
If you don't go for it,
they call you a bore.
If you go for it,
they call you a whore!
So, what exactly
is a princess supposed to do?
Once more!
But Grandma says that if you
really want to be a princess,
don't do it before marriage.
Please?
Or do you do it for true love?
Sometimes?
And then, my sweet 16
turned out to be sweet and spicy.
I saw the garden of roses.
Is this my happily ever after?
Wonder when it happened
Neither I know, nor does he
And then all of a sudden, at 18,
a twist in my dreamy fairy tale.
Came, right?
It's not necessary
that every love story reaches its climax.
Learned this the hard way
from Frog Number One,
Bunny Bhatia!
Moving onto the rebellious 25.
Introducing frog number two,
Shekhar Sinha.
And still, no happy ending!
But what is life
without a little salt and spice
that makes everything nice?
Will you marry me?
- Marry you?
- Yes.
Think about it.
I'm 55.
I'm a widower, I have a son...
who is almost your age.
I'm on vitamins.
I'll live for another 10-12 years.
Maybe, with your love...
another 15 years.
After which, everything is yours.
But until I am alive,
every morning...
I'll sing songs by Gulzar for you.
He is a friend.
My buddy.
Okay.
Professor.
My heart longs for those moments
When I just sit thinking of my beloved
Shall I serve lunch?
And will the young girl also eat?
Yes, she will also eat.
Listen,
this is about our neighbor Mr. Gupta.
He just passed away.
His gardener came
to tell me to inform you.
Gupta passed away.
- Oh, no.
- Why are there clothes
strewn around on the floor?
You never listen!
Got an attack again?
This back pain starts here
and goes up to the neck!
Could you help me with the shawl, please?
Of course, I'll help you.
Shall I fix an appointment for tomorrow?
Yes, nanny. Please!
Oh, my glasses.
Another misfire!
Me? I am a fighter.
Keep calm and carry on.
And then my almost perfect
frog number three,
Rahul Kasturia.
I'm so lucky I found you.
Youthful lover and a sultry sweetheart
When two young hearts meet
Not today.
Are you cheating on me?
No, I'm tired.
Give me her name!
Fuck.
You need help.
I really think you need help.
You are the one who keeps saying
sex is not everything.
So?
The only way to console the poor
is to tell them
that money is not everything, Rahul!
The fuck is wrong with you, man!
And after years of dejection,
several blows to the self-esteem
in the relentless pursuit
of finding my prince charming,
the woeful realization
dawned upon me at 30!
I hope I am not the problem.
I am the problem!
Got dumped again!
I don't want to die alone.
Kanika, why are you lying on the floor?
Laid on every bed possible, guys!
So much trial and error,
but still no luck!
Where is my prince charming?
You'll find him.
It'll happen when it has to happen!
Right now, just have fun!
Yeah, it's your 30th birthday!
You're a mess! Let's go in.
I've...
I've never had an orgasm.
Never?
Tried everything?
Yes, everything.
This is because of the porn industry.
They've hyped orgasms to another level!
- Yeah!
- The man just touches the woman...
and she cums.
In real life, a lot of effort has to be
put in to get a woman to cum!
Don't lecture me after your honeymoon!
Such a show-off now that you're married!
- You married my best friend!
- What are you saying?
Hey!
- How drunk are you all?! Come.
- And you...
Fuck off.
You've also married my best friend!
Well, she's my wife now!
- Come.
- I want to speak to Rahul.
Look, when the timing is right...
you'll find love up here and
the "happily ever after" down there.
So, relax!
Where is the right man, Tina?
I am tired of searching for the right man.
I think an arranged marriage
is best for me.
I should say yes to Jeevan's proposal!
Then you'll have to subscribe
to a porn channel for life!
And today, on the eve of
my inglorious 32nd birthday.
No more!
I am done.
The pain of waxing
reduces with frequency.
But the pain of a heartbreak
stabs you in the fucking gut,
every time.
Youth
Get a bikini wax, Kanika.
Or else wildlife will colonize this bush!
No point, Auntie.
No one visits these barren lands!
But this hope...
is a bitch!
No matter how many times you fail,
it keeps coming back and says,
"Come on, give it one more shot!"
Actually, Auntie.
Why can't we have it all?
The eternal love along
with the raunchy sex!
Today is the day!
Arjun Malhotra.
Today the floodgates will open
and how...
Happy Birthday, ma'am.
Thank you.
- Hi!
- Hi!
Happy Birthday, bitch!
Thank you, guys!
- This is so nice!
- Hi.
By the way, I heard
you're back in the market!
Thank God, dude.
I was almost getting nightmares
of Virgin Kanika from school.
- Seriously.
- So funny!
- Two years...
- What's up with her?
Why is your daughter sulking?
Did she come second in class?
She's going through a breakup.
- No!
- That first high school romance...
Yeah, that.
Guys, love is always true when you
fall for someone.
Dude, it's exhausting, Kanika!
Seriously.
She would know best.
She falls in love every year!
Hello!
Sorry.
Happy birthday.
You wanna talk about it?
Not today. I'll call you.
Is this juice or...
So we aren't going to
cut the cake in parking, Karan!
Get it here!
Just come fast. Yeah.
Arjun isn't picking up my call.
Don't worry, I'm in touch with him.
He's coming for sure, right?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Are you sure he was in touch with you?
What are you both mumbling about?
Is he not showing up?
No! Obviously, he is coming!
Is he going to stand me up on my birthday?
Are you mad?!
Listen, tell me the truth.
Not at all, dude...
- Oh, look...
- Here.
- He's here.
- There he is!
He's handsome.
Youthful lover and a sultry sweetheart
Kanika.
When two young hearts meet
They are bound to surrender
Youthful lover and a sultry sweetheart
When two young hearts meet
They are bound to surrender
Hey, swagger!
I find you sexy
That's Kanika.
Swagger!
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
That's Tina. That's Pallavi.
And that's Rushi.
Who's she?
Oh, my God, Kanika Didi!
I am a big fan of yours!
I see all your videos.
You know,
you are my favorite food blogger.
Wherever you go, I go.
Check out my profile.
Oh, I am so sorry.
Rushi Kalra.
- Hi!
- I am a trainee chef.
- Nice to meet you.
- One selfie?
Smile?
What the fuck, Arjun!
Who the hell is this?
This was a date.
- With?
- With Kanika, you fool! Who else?
Dude, she's 30-plus.
I respect her. Okay?
So?
Dude, please!
Me and Loser Kanika?
Where did you get this jacket?
Ma'am, you need a chair?
Of course, the more the merrier!
Put it down!
Looks nice, right?
Getting so many candles was a task, bro!
That's why it took time.
But I told them clearly.
My friend is turning 32.
I need 32 candles.
Couldn't you bring the candle
with the number on it?
- I said...
- You both are made for each other! Fools.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Wait a minute. Stop!
What happened?
One candle is extra!
I counted 33!
Your math is weak.
You ain't that old, babe!
Happy birthday to you
I get your missed call every night
Actually, a hundred times a night
Don't deny it!
What's on your mind?
Your tantrums make you
Who you are
They're soft on the inside
And a little cold on the outside
But that's a facade you put on
I can't help but think of you
I don't know what's happening to me
Now that I dialed your number
I am hooked
You pick up my call
But you say nothing but a yes
No matter what I say
You either say "hmm" or a "yes"
It's my spell on you
No matter what I say
But you say nothing but a yes
But who's ravishing?
You are ravishing!
What do I do?
You've captivated me!
Faces
Such pretty ones!
But don't doubt me
You're hotter than all else
You're my heartbeat
I hold you close to me
You're like a drug
I'm getting addicted to you
But you played me
I thought you were sweet like sugar
When you called me your sweetheart
But you turned out to be spicy!
I can't help but think of you
I don't know what's happening to me
Now that I dialed your number
I am hooked
You pick me my call
And say nothing but a yes
No matter what I say
You either say "hmm" or a "yes"
It's my spell on you
But you say nothing but a yes
No matter what I say
You either say "hmm" or a "yes"
But who's ravishing?
You are ravishing!
What do I do?
You've captivated me!
Bartender,
could you give me
a screaming orgasm, please?
You know, I've never had one!
What?
No.
Never?
I'm a defective piece!
I get turned on by just looking
at myself in the mirror.
These days I am seeing
only doom in the mirror!
This is the very problem.
You've become negative.
It's not a medal.
You don't have to win it.
Sex is a blast.
Talking from experience.
You hooked up with Arjun?
Arjun?
Arjun, dear.
Oh, Arjun.
No, dear.
I mean, he is sweet and all,
but I only do first base
with these uncle types.
Are you sure you're just 23?
You're too cute, babe!
- Fuck, babe!
- Sister!
I'm just an old prude.
Shall I give you some advice?
Do with the one who loves you.
Not the one whom you love.
What?
Okay, English?
"Do it with the person
who loves you.
Don't do it with
whom you love."
What happened?
Mom and Jeevika are sleeping here.
- There's no power in their room.
- Sorry.
Kanika... Oh, my God!
- Quiet...
- Sorry.
Kanika, you should have called me
from the party.
I would have picked you...
How do I look?
You always look superlative!
No. How do I look today, right now?
Something new?
Something extra?
Something different?
Just think of it like this, dear...
that if mom wasn't home tonight, then...
Then?
Would you have taken advantage of me?
What are you saying, Kanika?
Never.
Why?
Take advantage of me.
You have my permission. Take it.
Please take advantage of me.
I have only one fantasy, Kanika.
What is it?
To see you wearing
just a T-shirt.
Mine.
And you are cuddled up to me.
Not bad.
Right here on this bed.
We are...
Yeah?
- I can feel the heat between us.
- Yeah. And then?
Then you...
No, I am stroking your hair.
- You delicately take off my glasses.
- Yes.
Outside, it's drizzling.
Snacks are served with tea.
We both enjoy the snacks.
And what about sex?
Kanika.
Oh, my mom!
- Oh, God!
- Mom!
Sorry!
Sorry, Auntie.
It's me, Kanika.
Kanika, at this hour?
It's my birthday.
Bless me.
God, I'll die!
Sorry.
Yo, Jeevika!
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
By the way, sis,
brother's room is that way.
Nothing's gonna happen there.
Make him also sleep
between Mom and you!
Go for it!
What happened?
Oh, Mom, are you hurt?
What are you doing here?
Gifting Kanika the bracelet
you got for her on her birthday.
Now, let's go. Let's go.
I'll drop her.
- Switch off the light.
- Bye!
Massage Mom's hands.
Oh, this hurts!
I don't need your help.
Yes, Kanika.
I'm telling you I can take care of myself.
I want to do it.
I want to take care of you.
Oh, my...
Hey.
Jeevan, I'll take it from here.
No, let me drop you in.
Why? Because I'm a woman?
No.
And I have had too much to drink.
I am drunk,
I won't have control of my steps.
I might fall down.
I might create a ruckus.
Not this time, dear.
On this birthday...
Loser Kanika won't cause any chaos.
Loser Kanika?
You are a legend for me, Kanika.
You live the way you want to.
I'll be right behind you.
I won't let things get chaotic.
Take care.
Guard!
Where will I find a cab from?
- Yeah!
- I won!
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday, girl!
Where are you going? Come, join us.
No need for formality, Uncle.
It's 2:30 a.m.
No cheating, Malhotra.
I'll be right back.
Come, Kanu!
Dr. Malhotra just gets nervous sometimes.
But how are you home so early?
Why? Did I interrupt your play date?
Don't be silly. But didn't you
go out with that guy...
What's his name?
He's also Malhotra.
- What's his name?
- Arjun.
Arjun!
How was it with him?
Not as romantic as your night.
So sorry.
For tonight, or for life?
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, my baby doll!
Thank you, Grandma.
- Come with me.
- Not now, Grandma.
Come, I have a surprise for you.
For my doll.
Sit here.
No. No, no, no.
Your liver will rot.
Say yes to Jeevan's marriage proposal.
- What?
- Yes.
He is such a lovely boy.
- Shit.
- Dropped you here in your car,
and poor fellow took a cab back home.
Grandma, I forgot to file my taxes!
You were supposed to remind me.
Instead, you are stalking me
through the window!
I need to look out for you!
This house is doomed.
You are my responsibility, after all.
Break it.
Why is the Wi-Fi not working?
Hear me out.
If you get married this year,
then maybe in two years
you'll get pregnant.
Thirty-three, thirty-four...
She can get pregnant at 40
if she freezes her eggs.
So will she push babies out of the fridge?
When God has given her
a first-class apparatus to make babies,
why waste that blessing recklessly?
What recklessness, Grandma?
I'm just filing my tax certificate!
What will you achieve
by filing your tax certificate?
File for a marriage certificate!
Mom is single, Tina is divorced.
Tina's husband cheated on her, Grandma!
He had sex with someone else.
Enough!
Tell me something new.
He is a man. He will be a man.
We as women have to hold
a marriage together.
What soap opera is brainwashing you?
Okay.
Remember the time...
when you carried a baby like an armor
saying you were a revolutionary?
Kept telling me that
the world was changing.
All bogus!
The world will never change!
Then "Femi-sanam..."
Feminism.
Whatever it is,
that is what has brainwashed women!
Any problem, Bina?
You problem!
- The Kapoor family's fate is the problem!
- Kishori.
- Kishori, please.
- Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
- What's going on?
- Your son is older than Kanika.
You talk to me.
Right?
- Then why do you shamelessly come here?
- You...
- What the hell is going on?
- Relax.
- Every day is the same nuisance!
- You...
- Your boyfriend stinks of alcohol!
- You do this every day!
- Please! This can't be a daily drama!
- Have a drink.
Can I live my life?
- This is not a pub, it's my house!
- I did nothing wrong.
- Stop it!
- I'll do what I want.
- I have a life!
- What life?
Hey, Kanu!
Oh, Lord!
There she screws up again.
Kanika Kapoor is no more.
Yes. Everyone is saying she was drunk
and slipped off the staircase.
So sad!
But what was her problem?
Kanika's problem was that
she always played way outside her league.
For instance,
he would have said yes to her.
Right?
Or even these men.
But to dream of me?
Cute.
Her problem was
that she didn't know what she wanted.
Local beer,
or vintage wine.
One night stand or lifelong comfort.
Her problem was
that she didn't want a boyfriend,
she wanted a superhero.
If she gets hurt,
he should become her daddy.
And if she cries,
he should become her counselor.
It's best for her that she died.
She was alone anyway.
Otherwise, she would
have turned out like me.
- Bimla!
- Single till the end.
Coming!
Kanika's only problem was...
that she didn't say yes to my proposal.
Otherwise, her casket
wouldn't be decorated with flowers...
but with wedding jewelry.
No, Son, don't cry.
There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Everyone here is giving
her too much credit.
I'll tell you
what Kanika Kapoor's real problem was.
She didn't know how to pleasure men.
You know, she was vanilla in bed.
These days women wear colorful ones.
- Really?
- Yeah, all lacy and frilly ones.
But what color?
Red.
And blue.
But for whom?
And yellow for Mrs. Sharma.
Grandma, am I losing my mind?
It's not your fault.
It's in our genes.
Are the Kapoor women cursed?
That we all will die single?
There are no curses or miracles.
We are given a choice
every step of the way.
Life shapes up based
on the choices we make.
Your mother also had a choice.
But she trashed it.
Now, it's your turn.
I am a traveler on the road of love
Yes, dear?
Last night you were on a roll.
Jeevan, it's a yes.
When do we get engaged?
You want to get married, right?
Jeevan, are you crying?
I would marry you right now.
Like now.
Now...
Hell...
Hello?
Kanika?
My doll!
Thank you, God.
Have you completely lost your mind?
Wedding? That too with Jeevan?
Why?
What's the problem?
He loves me. He respects me.
I know he isn't as cool as us, so what?
I'm a catch for him, so what?
He's self-made and successful.
He owns four shops.
He'll keep me happy.
Shops of hand showers!
But at least a hand shower
is better than a hand job.
Virgin Kanika!
Mean girls!
We can never be equals!
Mean girls!
We can never be equals!
Just kidding, babe.
Saw your snaps last night on Instapix.
Arjun Malhotra.
Isn't he a little too young for you?
Babe, you know Kanika's taste.
Either a wheelchair
or a pram.
She's engaged.
Yes. Kanu is sorted for life.
- Sorted?
- What?
He's in retail.
Hand... Hardware.
Very rich. Old money and all.
Old money?
Yeah.
I'm engaged.
You guys must come for the engagement.
It's a special invitation.
So happy for you, babe.
Really?
Genuinely.
After all, can't sit alone at home forever
and be happy watching porn.
Right.
It's Rabeya's turn!
Rabeya!
Let's go. Come on.
- I have a sprain!
- Wait a sec.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Rabeya!
Rabeya!
Hi!
Your mom is too cute, yo!
She's single. You wanna be my dad?
- No.
- Okay, Miss Wedding Planner,
let's start planning for the D-day.
I'll faint out of excitement!
Fuck this shit, guys!
Do I not have the right
to celebrate something in life?
On my birthday,
I'm dreaming of my funeral.
That's a fucking sad life!
What do you want to celebrate?
Death of your desires?
Or a lifetime of vanilla in bed?
- Excuse me?
- What do you mean?
Does marriage mean vanilla in bed?
No and, one second.
What are you trying to say?
That Jeevan is impotent?
Exactly. For all we know,
he could be the don of sex.
I think he is.
Yeah, right.
His name is Jeevan Anand.
That's the name of an insurance policy!
You both know that, right?
And have you seen his face?
He looks like a virgin!
Can he even get it up?
Well, if he can't, we'll get it up!
Our actions will speak louder than words!
Look, guys.
Whatever it is,
I don't want to die alone.
Okay?
Go, Rabeya!
It's not that deep, bro!
Women love to complicate their lives
by over-analyzing.
Oh!
You all want a hot guy,
but you also want depth
in that relationship.
Why suffer so much?
It's just marriage.
Don't overthink.
Just do it.
Watch TV together every day.
Dinner dates on the weekends.
Hopefully, you have sex every 10-15 days.
And then every two or three months,
off to a hill station.
There's your happiness!
If you want extra happiness,
pop a beer during the day.
Order a fancy meal.
And there you go, happy, happy!
These savings were for her food business.
Now she wants to buy a bridal trousseau!
So?
Can't the plans change?
This is a hasty decision.
Maybe I should have gotten
pregnant like you, too. Right?
Be right back.
Why would I have married your father?
He didn't love me.
He pitied me.
Because I was pregnant with you.
That marriage would have been
a tick mark, that's it.
And this seems no different.
What's your problem, Mom?
I am getting married out of my own will.
You should be bloody happy for me, Mom.
- Kanu...
- No, you are the greatest.
You are a revolutionary.
You've scaled peaks. But I have not.
This marriage will be a tick mark, right?
I'm okay with a tick mark. Okay?
Kanu!
Save some money for yourself.
You'll need it soon!
Not everyone has this privilege, Kanu!
Your beloved is here to wed you
Come, Jeevan.
- Say yes, and come along!
- Mummy, my button...
Oh!
My heart sings
Even if you cannot hear it
Oh!
I've stolen your heart
And fled even if you're still to choose me
Why am I inadequate, my love?
I'm here to wed you
I dream about you night and day
Listen to me
I cannot stop loving you
I cannot stop listening to my heart
I want to bequeath you
my sweetest memories...
It's a lonely road
- The road of love. Will we unite?
- Kanika?
-It will be dawn once the night is gone
-Smoke?
What's it?
Toys for the after-party!
What is all this?
It's the time to disco, baby!
Well done.
This rose is to misuse,
seduce, and let out the juice!
You guys are crazy.
Oh!
My heart sings
Even if you cannot hear it
Got a small instead of a medium, right?
You're looking nice.
Screw nice! I want to look like a catch!
Steaming! Hot!
People need to go crazy.
Why are all women in denial, bro?
Don't compare your waistline with anyone!
But it is natural.
That's not natural.
Baby, your cholesterol
level is not natural.
Have some apples for once, man.
Who eats healthy on a picnic?
Okay then, I'm fasting for your long life,
and you want to make me a widow.
What do you mean widow?
Why are you scolding me
like our school principal?
Do I ever say anything to you
when you drink like a fish?
Have I ever called you a drunkard?
Do I ever call you out? I don't, right?
Actually, you do you.
No doctor can tell you better.
I'm fed up of being told what to do!
"Karan, do this. Karan, do that.
Karan, sit there. Karan, sleep there.
- Karan, don't wear this T-shirt."
- Guys!
I've been listening to you
ever since we got married.
I'm not a child!
Your beloved is here to wed you
Say yes, and come along!
Oh!
My heart sings
Even if you cannot hear it
Oh!
I've stolen your heart
And fled even if you're still to choose me
I'll die.
We were almost going to do it.
Like, we made out and everything.
Everything was going smoothly.
And then,
by mistake, I touched his crotch.
I flipped out.
The first time should be special.
In the confusion of to-do or not-to-do,
I made a funeral out of it!
By the way, your boy Rohan,
is he even a good kisser?
It starts off well,
and then it gets really sloppy.
You also did it in high school, right?
So what?
No big deal.
First love, true love,
it's all bullshit, Rabeya!
It was pointless of me
to put pressure on my virginity.
I think you're right.
I am also putting a lot of pressure
on my virginity!
Excuse me! That's not what I'm saying.
Boys are assholes, Rabeya.
They fuck you up emotionally,
and then you'll constantly
doubt yourself...
Look,
what I am trying to say...
is that don't pressurize yourself.
Do it when you're ready.
Let's go home now.
Jeevan and his friends
are coming home for dinner!
Come on.
Don't look there.
- What are you looking at?
- Don't look there.
Dearest Brother-in-law!
Your turn now.
Come on. Come.
- Go on.
- Let's dance.
KANIKA'S JEEVAN
WELCOME TO THE ENGAGEMEN- Hello. How are you?
- Welcome.
Congratulations!
My to-be son-in-law!
Come here.
- You look pretty.
- Namaste.
- Hello.
- Who is he?
You are still working on the decor!
Yesterday was the deadline!
What the...
Kanika ma'am said
she doesn't need this anymore!
She has downed two painkillers
and a vodka shot.
She is ready!
Tell me something
Haven't you walked in alone?
Glad you are at the club tonight
What excuse did you make at home?
Why are you looking so lonely?
We are in the club
So you might as well show me
Pour that drink up slowly
'Cause I don't wanna go home
I wanna see you back it up
Back it up, one time now
Back it up, back it up two times
Back it up, back it up, and rewind now
I wanna see you pull up, pull up, yeah
When you mix magic
In the wine, my desi girl
I get high
Don't mind me tonight, desi girl
You got me grinding up on you
When you mix magic
In the wine, my desi girl
I get high
Don't mind me tonight, desi girl
You got me grinding up on you
- Kanika Kapoor.
- Yes.
You've inspired me!
Me?
How?
I am also thinking of settling down.
No!
With Rushi?
- Are you gonna propose?
- No.
We broke up.
I'm so sorry, Arjun.
I had no idea.
Not at all.
Okay.
What is this?
Is that a serpent?
Yeah, it's a serpent.
I find serpents very sexy.
Let this moment not break
-Bring me closer to you
-Excuse me.
Hold me tight
DJ, let me hear you pull up
Pull up, yeah!
When you mix magic
In the wine, my desi girl
I get high
Don't mind me tonight, desi girl
You got me grinding' up on you
When you mix magic
In the wine, my desi girl
I get high
Don't mind me tonight, desi girl
You got me grinding' up on you
Rahul!
Thank you for coming.
I feel this should be the title
of my autobiography.
Waiter!
- I feel we are going to fight again.
- Why?
You really bullshitted me, right?
A big fat Indian wedding!
The decor, the glam!
"I don't want commitment.
I'm too cool!"
Yeah, that thing people say,
"Me and my solitude."
That might be very
tempting to other people.
But solitude for me, really sucks!
You don't need to explain anything to me.
I get you, Kanika Kapoor.
I get you.
First, hear me out
And hold your glass up
I haven't come alone
I've come with my girls
But I am a little high right now
And I slip when I hear you talk
You've got a swagger in your walk
You are conquering hearts along the way
Toast to that
Your bravado is attractive
Let this moment not break
Bring me closer to you
Hold me tight
DJ, let me hear you pull up
Pull up, yeah!
When you mix magic
In the wine, my desi girl
I get high
Don't mind me tonight, desi girl
You got me grinding' up on you
When you mix magic
In the wine, my desi girl
I get high
Don't mind me tonight, desi girl
You got me grinding' up on you
Oh, my!
Is this the Professor
or his younger brother?
Someone broke my heart
and left me a few years back.
Just burning calories
to mend that broken heart.
After our breakup,
you've become sexy and hot!
But be careful,
don't slip a disc again.
Who will have your back now?
If fate has it,
someone will come by.
Like you found someone.
"Jee-won!"
I wasn't looking for "someone".
I was looking for "the one".
This is for you.
It's written by me.
For you.
Read it when you're alone.
Hello.
I am Kanika's plus one.
You?
I am her minus one.
Professor.
Oh!
Guru.
- What are you doing, Jeevan?
- What...
How do you manage to look this young?
I am young!
Oh, yes, the chiseled jawline!
- Excuse me.
- Yes.
Come, kids, it's time.
That's my mom.
- Hello, Mom.
- Hello.
Don't mind me tonight, desi girl
You got me grinding' up on you
DJ, hold it!
Wait, Pinky!
- Come.
- Come on.
Here's the mic.
Ladies and gentlemen.
This is our darling.
Like our Jeevan calls her...
superlative.
And now...
that my brother is unlocking his dreams,
so why shouldn't we be the ones
to gift him the key?
Come, come, uncle.
Wow! Not bad!
- What's this?
- They'll explain.
So from today,
- Jeevan and Kanika's new address is...
- Uncle.
B-141, Punjabi Bagh.
Dream house for the dream team!
Come on, play!
Come, come. Look. One second.
Love birds have finally set foot
In their adobe
We welcome the daughter-in-law
As our own
Your mother-in-law and sister
Will be the guiding light
Amazing.
To dispel all loneliness from our hearts
Can't wait for you to add
Your magic touch
Shut the fuck up!
Welcome to the family!
Yes! Wonderful!
Congratulations!
Come on.
Stand here.
Yeah, it's alright!
- Don't forget the key!
- Move.
Oh, you move there!
Yeah, be with him.
Awesome.
- Oh!
- Will you marry me?
My sweet son!
Wow, she said yes.
Congratulations!
Live long and prosper, my child.
Punjabis rule the world!
Are you freaking out?
Obviously.
Didn't you say it's just marriage?
Don't overthink it. Just do it.
Me? When?
Forget it.
Just drink your fears away!
Rock it.
Kanika looks like she's on cloud nine!
Marriage is suiting her.
When she was dating me,
you must be worried, right?
What's there to worry about?
Everyone makes mistakes.
Haven't we made enough?
Thank you.
You're right.
Move past the old mistakes.
Make new ones.
Fresh ones.
Hey!
Still single?
Always.
And you?
Always.
By the way, what are you doing tomorrow?
I want you to meet
the ageless poet Gulzar.
He's my buddy.
Really?
I love his poetry!
I'll give you a call. Cheers!
Why does everything feel so right today?
So perfect.
Maybe the drinks are kicking in.
Or maybe I was never the problem.
Maybe the problem was my idea of love.
Maybe Prince Charming doesn't exist.
I think Grandma is right.
"We are given a choice
every step of the way.
Life shapes up
based on the choices we make."
Okay then,
I've made my choice today.
Screw these fairy tales.
Burn the frog prince.
From today,
no more Loser Kanika.
Only Mrs. Kanika Jeevan Anand.
"Happily ever after" is a myth.
Happy is good enough.
Kanu, I can't handle it!
We've become old!
My head is exploding.
Can't party like 16 anymore!
I got it, Tina.
My head is pounding.
Tina, it happened.
By the way, that babe Rushi,
what a firecracker!
She's so funny!
I've never seen anyone
burn the dance floor
with such heavenly moves. I was like...
I was in heaven, Tina!
I finally had an orgasm!
What!
Sorry.
I told you.
I told you Jeevan is the don of sex.
What position did you surrender in?
The nation wants to know!
I am not sure!
Bro, did it happen once or multiple?
And how long did he last?
Did he cuddle you?
Were my DVDs helpful?
Cool.
Did you use the condom or not?
Or did you keep going
in the spur of the moment?
And hats off to Jeevan.
Jeevan!
- Who's the one?
- Jeevan!
- Who's the one?
- Jeevan!
I'm not sure, guys!
I am not sure.
Was it Jeevan, or...
I am not sure.
It has to be Jeevan.
You were stuck to him like glue.
I saw it.
She was also glued to the Professor!
And also with Arjun.
Well, don't forget Rahul.
And also with that sweet vendor. So what?
With who?
Well...
Gopal!
I wanna have some sugar!
Gopal!
Looks like Gopal got
some sugar last night.
Shut up! Idiot.
She is a sucker for drama,
and you are fueling the fire.
Kanu, it has to be Jeevan!
He took the room key from me last night.
He indulged in pre-marital sex.
Right?
Jeevan has done
what no one in your life could do.
And instead of revering him,
you are dismissing him.
Heartless!
You're right, I'm heartless.
Yes.
- I'm heartless.
- Yeah.
- It has to be Jeevan.
- Yes.
- Right?
- Of course.
Okay, let's go.
Go where?
- Come on.
- But where?
- Hurry!
- Yeah, okay.
- Yo, Jeevika.
- Hey!
Sister-in-law?
So early in the morning?
Where's my Jeevan?
You aren't tired, I see.
No, thanks.
- I told you...
- Hello, Auntie.
Bless you and always be happy!
You set the dance floor
on fire last night.
Auntie, where's Jeevan?
- He's sleeping upstairs.
- Okay.
- Wait up.
- Yes?
Didn't you guys
pull an all-nighter last night?
Mom, it wasn't just a late-nighter,
our prince came home early morning today!
Good morning, dear.
Good morning, dear.
Jeevan...
wake up.
Okay.
Good morning.
- Kanika?
- Jeevan.
Now just concentrate on this, okay?
I didn't register anything last night.
Seems like you are still tipsy.
Call me tipsy if you like,
but I want to reach heaven again.
So, let loose now.
And let's loosen these clothes.
Hold on, dear.
Mom!
Don't hold it in, Jeevan.
You made me reach the closest to heaven.
- Can't hold on now.
- What happened?
Oh, my God! Kanika!
Kanika. Oh, my God!
Kanika, yes!
Thanks.
It's the...
first time we got this far,
so...
I couldn't control it.
But what about last night?
No...
you were dropping hints all night.
But then suddenly,
you took the room key from me...
and disappeared into the night.
Are you upset with me?
No, Jeevan.
I have gotten so used to
being naughty with you in my dreams.
This was finally happening for real...
and I couldn't hold back.
Jeevan, can I give you a hug?
Didn't ask for permission
while being naughty.
You are a cheater!
I love you.
What the hell is happening here?
You've slept with someone else
on your engagement night.
So you're definitely not attracted
to your fiance.
- Then, why the drama?
- Hold on a second.
Men do it all the time.
At their bachelor parties,
they leave no stone unturned,
and then they show up at their own wedding
like nothing ever happened.
It's a tradition.
Our girl has lived up to it, that's it.
Kanu, you've gotten engaged now,
in your stubbornness.
But why get married?
You just want a tick mark, that's it.
Isn't that the end goal?
Yes, I want a tick mark.
I want to get married, okay?
I don't want to end up like Dr. Kapoor.
I am not going to find
a man better than Jeevan.
Let's just accept it.
I'm not letting go of him.
Pass me that.
But we have to solve this mystery.
With Delhi aunties around,
gossip will spread like wildfire.
Trust me.
Yeah, fine, I'm in.
Make it or break it.
Thanks.
Find the hotel manager's number.
Let's check the CCTV.
And what will you say to him?
"Groom and whom?"
Guys,
the man who has given the orgasm
must have given a special gift, too.
Let's open the gifts.
Guys, Rahul.
He's given a check. He's the best.
Amount?
Guys, one lakh.
Bro,
Arjun gave you a mixer grinder.
But the most boring
of all is the Professor.
He's palmed off a book.
Cheapskate!
- This one's empty. Look at it.
- So cheap!
- Who gave this?
- Some people just come to eat!
Don't you remember my wedding?
My heart longs for those moments
When I just sit thinking of my beloved
My heart longs for those moments
When I just sit thinking of my beloved
I get lost in her thoughts
For hours together
"It's enough for me.
You wouldn't accept it,
but you know that
somewhere,
something is still unresolved."
Wow, Professor, so romantic.
Read it till the end, my beloved.
Had Gupta not popped up that day,
then that engagement ring...
would have been mine.
Things can still change, Professor.
Right?
- Professor has rewritten history!
- Now?
But how did these feelings sprout back
after so many years?
When we were together, absolutely zilch!
And now they're back?
Guys, even Veer found Zara again
after 14 years! Right?
But Professor has a 30-year-old son!
A hot son.
Exactly!
What will he call me?
Mommy Junior?
He's considered the king of songs.
He's the ageless poet Gulzar.
Now some classics written by him,
and some songs in his own voice.
My heart longs for those moments
What if this is destiny?
What if Professor Shekhar
is your prince charming?
Increase the volume for Mommy Junior!
When I just sit thinking of my beloved
I get lost in her thoughts
For hours together
My heart longs for those moments
When I just sit thinking of my beloved
My heart longs for those moments
What should I say now?
Exemplar, beautiful.
I wish I could kiss you.
Professor!
Kanika Didi?
Rushi?
Oh, my darling! What a surprise!
Didi!
But...
Same?
Oh!
I'm...
- Well...
- Oh! I'm...
Fuck! I'm just so...
I'm...
- I'll be back.
- Sorry!
Kanika, give me a chance to explain.
I thought at least you'd understand
the pain of loneliness.
What happened?
Nothing. This is for you.
- She forgot her book.
- You keep both.
Shall I serve lunch?
And will the young girl also eat?
Yes, she will also eat.
Guys, it wasn't the Professor.
- We know.
- We know.
How?
Take a look.
Come on, let's go to Gurgaon.
- No.
- Yes.
- No.
- Yes.
I am unbelievable!
What's this secret den
where he asked us to meet?
He's a total party animal, dude!
I have come from
An unknown land of secrets
I bring stories of spring from there
Don't touch me, stay away
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
Don't touch me, stay away
I wish someone would come in my arms
And take these secrets from me
I wish someone could see through my eyes
And understand these signs
Don't touch me, stay away
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
Don't touch me, stay away
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
Yo, I came out to you last night.
You were the one who said,
"I accept you for who you are!
No matter what."
And then we were dancing on the table.
"Ghungroo toot gaye."
Kanika,
you don't remember anything?
Even today,
memory loss after two drinks?
Rahul.
Anjali.
All that I see happening with you...
did it happen before me or after me?
I think...
I think during.
- During!
- Hey!
Listen,
we need to talk.
- Sorry, I'm getting ready.
- Yeah.
I thought you'd figure it out.
You'd leave me.
But your self-doubt surpassed
even my self-doubt.
That means it wasn't you as well.
Wasn't?
But where?
Last night...
I did it with someone else.
Did what?
Sex.
Shit, and you won't remember who.
I think you need a shot, girl.
Cheers!
I love this track.
Bro, how much time will you take?
Can't you make one drink quickly?
Kanika Didi?
What are the chances?
You are here as well.
I'm happiness.
I'm everywhere.
Yes, babe!
Isn't she a sweetheart?
I just had to invite her.
All the sexiest ladies in the house!
- Look at her, not at me!
- Yes.
Cheers.
What happened? Tell me.
I ain't no sexy girl!
Listen, I think you're one of the most
gorgeous and sexiest women in the world!
That's why you swung
the other way completely?
Listen, if you were not you,
I wouldn't be me!
Mumma!
So grumpy!
Last night, you were on a roll.
You were glowing!
- I was really off my rocker last night.
- Yesterday...
- Last night she slept with someone else.
- Really?
Come on. Why are you stressing?
It's just sex.
Nothing to kill yourself over!
I know the timing is a bit off.
No, bro!
First time in my life,
my timing was bang on.
Not off at all!
First time in my life...
For the very first time,
I got the timing right.
What? Does that mean you...
She won the gold medal.
Finally, some idiot cracked it.
Why didn't you ever say this before?
How was I to know that
you're also a sister?
Hello, bitches!
Let's go!
Listen,
why didn't you ever tell
any of your boyfriends this?
Who tells the boyfriend?
And you know how boys are.
They make everything about themselves.
And it is, honey.
These guys don't have a clue what to do.
We sisters have to beg to be pleased.
Just like this.
Give me some fun, for heaven's sake!
Let's go, bitches!
So you're sure that Jeevan
wasn't the one who "won"?
Don't be sick!
And that Professor!
He fled leaving you alone
on the hotel trolley
to go and see Rushi!
"Kanika Didi.
I am happiness.
I'm everywhere!"
But who was the one
who gave me this happiness?
Arjun!
- It wasn't Arjun!
- How the fuck do you know?
Trust me,
I know.
- No!
- Yes.
- No!
- Yes.
- No!
- Yes! Yes.
Arjun?!
Fuck!
What have you dumped in this?
Anjali.
I have one for you.
I'm not gonna "drag" this.
My sense of humor is too good.
I should be a stand-up comedian.
I want to see you at the wedding.
You have to come.
If I don't come, will you cancel it?
Now that you have decided to live the lie,
then live it happily.
You aren't living your truth either!
Correct.
And I'm not proud of it.
If I had the slightest option,
I'd choose to be me...
24/7.
You have a choice.
That's why I want
to slap some sense into you.
Hey!
Thank you for coming!
Your turn to come now.
Loser Kanika!
We meet again.
Listen, Neha...
I'm begging you,
please don't trouble me today.
Why not today, bitch?
Where was the after-party?
Your friend Pallavi said room 602.
Devyani and I came up.
We kept knocking, kept knocking.
Then we called Pallavi.
She didn't answer.
- Then?
- We said, "Let's bounce, then."
And then all of a sudden
the room door opened.
We said, "Fine, enjoy without us."
You were really out there today!
I just saw the professor
running down the corridor.
Today I can have fun. It's the last day.
And that Weirdo Karan of yours,
he was puking around the lift.
And what exactly were
you two doing inside?
Fucking answer!
Fucking answer!
Pick up the goddamn phone, Pallavi.
Fuck it! I can't do this.
I just can't.
I can't do this.
No, no, no.
Pallavi, listen.
At last night's after-party,
Tina and you were also there
with Karan and me?
Wasn't last night's after-party canceled?
Fuck!
Yes, Jeevan.
The whole night was like a party,
so I got confused.
Did you call by mistake?
No, I made a mistake.
After this morning's episode,
I tried calling you so many times.
But didn't hear from you. No message,
no forward.
When have I ever sent you a forward?
That's also true.
I'm a little out of it right now.
Please, can I call you later?
Dear, listen,
just check my display picture at least.
Why?
Karan sent it to me.
You look so cute in this.
And look at you digging
your favorite pizza,
I was the one who sent it.
But...
when did you both click this?
And...
whose shoes are you wearing, dear?
Yeah, there we go!
- Show me.
- Wait.
- Show me.
- Wait...
Such a good photo.
It's crap, Karan.
You're unbelievable!
By the way,
you know what they say about big feet!
Pallavi must be milking it!
But should I tell you something?
Yeah?
Pallavi and you,
at the garden picnic, fought really badly.
Like cats and dogs.
Losers!
What's going on?
Your friend Pallavi has turned
me into a project, for God's sake!
"If you change this,
you can do better."
Is she my wife or a rehab?
Even if I were thinner,
it wouldn't matter to her.
She's a psycho!
But listen,
please don't do all this after marriage.
Don't try to fix Jeevan like a project.
You must be crazy.
How can I make Jeevan a project?
I hope he makes me his project.
What did they call me in school?
First, virgin.
Then,
slut.
Then,
vanilla.
To hell with that!
First time in my life,
I'm getting respect.
First time.
That's why we get along.
I know we lost touch for a few years.
But who are we?
- Who?
- Mediocre!
Broken confidence.
Yes.
Yet both of us aim for the stars.
Hoping that a superhero, a superheroine
will come to rescue us.
Correct! Losers.
Correct.
Now, ask me,
who is Kanika Kapoor?
Who is Kanika Kapoor?
You are a strong woman.
- I'm a strong woman?
- Of course.
- Hearty!
- You must be joking.
Funny!
You are a little sexy as well.
Are you hitting on me?
You said it's your last day today,
so just trying...
Humpty Dumpty!
Don't eat that.
- But where are you off to?
- Shit!
Had a great fall?
Look at her eyes!
She must be drunk!
Call the cops!
I'll file a drink-and-drive case
against this woman!
Just calm down.
- Isn't it a cruel joke?
- Spare her. Let's settle this.
Try to understand.
-For years, I walked alone, safely
-Is this her bag?
-I want to be yours
-You're a smart man. Please leave.
Till I keep breathing
Just yours
This is not me
Believe me
Look
I'm laughing at myself as well!
You laugh too
At me
I want to keep tripping
Lose myself, forget myself
This is not for me, Jeevan.
Isn't it a cruel joke?
Jeevan, tea?
You have done nothing wrong.
You are a good man.
A very good soul, but...
I am not good for you.
Do whatever you feel like.
You can curse me as much as you like.
But I promise that after two years,
you'll be thanking me.
You won't find happiness with me.
I am happy even now!
What's the problem with me?
I own a first-class business,
I own a house,
I have a loving family.
I may not have those chiseled features,
but I have a strong personality.
I'll find someone.
Because of you,
I said no to six other marriage proposals.
The question is... what will you do?
Isn't it a cruel joke?
For years, I walked alone, safely
Isn't it a cruel joke?
Are you mimicking me?
Or genuinely tripping too?
I can't believe this is happening
Next station, Subhash Nagar.
Yeah, Rabeya?
Auntie...
Rabeya, are you crying?
Hello?
Rabeya? Hello...
Rabeya, what's up?
Check your phone.
Rabeya?
That asshole...
he leaked it.
I'm getting broadcasted.
Baby...
Rabeya, don't worry about it.
He made a foolproof plan.
He chose the fucking timing.
I have to give a graduation speech today.
I'm getting
the Board topper certificate today.
Mamma's saying
she doesn't want to see my face.
I'm on fucking memes.
I've gone viral.
Rabeya, don't lose hope.
We will fix everything.
Just don't cry.
Rabeya, you're a strong girl.
You have to be strong.
You're a strong girl. Okay, Rabeya?
Everyone is calling me "Slutty Rabeya".
Tell us, how was Kanika in bed?
She ain't no fireworks for sure.
- She's a loser.
- Why?
She is bland.
Touch her anywhere,
she just lies there like a corpse.
"I won't do that, I won't do this."
She is a defective piece.
I swear, she's a bore.
- Is she that type of girl?
- A lesbian?
Don't mind,
but how did you not figure it out?
I mean she had a mustache
since kindergarten. So...
My heart screams in pain
But is there anyone who can hear it?
No matter how much I try
I only get tears in return
There's only one face
I see in front of my eyes
Of my shattered self
There's only one face
I see in front of my eyes
I wonder why life is so painful
Why can't passing time be frozen
Just for a moment?
It's inevitable
What's lost will never come back
You slept with my husband!
I have just seen you ruin it all!
- From the Hotel CCTV.
- Pallavi!
- What is this behavior?
- You fucking bitch!
- How dare you!
- Leave her.
What is this rowdy behavior, Pallavi?
I learned it from your daughter.
What's the matter?
That's why you didn't want us
to check the CCTV footage, Loser Kanika!
No, Pallavi.
There must be some
misunderstanding, Pallavi.
I have been misunderstanding it
all this while.
Twenty-five years of friendship
was my misunderstanding.
Pallavi, please!
- Listen...
- What did they say in school?
Don't say that, please.
That Kanika ain't built for relationships.
It's not in her!
They were right!
I had one wholesome relationship,
my marriage.
I was holding it tight,
I wasn't letting it break!
No, Pallavi. I am sorry.
Just stop touching me! You disgust me!
Pallavi, try and understand.
How dare you...
give my daughter, Rabeya, advice!
You've done nothing good
with your own life.
Why are you messing up my daughter's life?
Rabeya has done no wrong.
Wrong has happened to her. She needs us!
Auntie, shut up!
You should be the last one to lecture...
on morality.
It feels like a joke!
No matter how hard one tries...
to be both, a father and a mother,
to raise a child,
give them a normal life.
To keep them away from one's own mistakes.
But some asshole always comes around
to take a piss on the efforts, right?
Don't say that, Tina.
You've raised a solid girl!
I've fucked her up, Dr. Kapoor.
Just like you!
Today is her graduation speech.
Instead, she's going to give
an apology speech!
- And it's all because of you!
- Stop it!
How dare you touch her?
Get out of here.
Get out of my house!
Out right away!
Rabeya needs us.
Why don't you all
just mind your own business?
- Are you okay?
- Kanu!
Shameless mother!
Shameless daughter!
That's also my fault, right?
You don't want to take any responsibility!
"Kanu, is your mother unmarried?
You are a bastard child.
Filthy!"
No...
"Vanilla in bed.
Touch her anywhere.
She just lies there like a corpse.
Kanu, you've never had an orgasm?
Shit.
What a feeling."
I should have given up a long time ago.
In this abnormal family,
how can anyone be normal?
What is normal?
Seventy percent of women in the world have
never had an orgasm in their whole lives.
Because 90% of the men
don't know how to do it.
That's why I tell my patients,
"Do it yourself", it is the key
to happiness.
If this were a man's problem,
then it would be breaking news.
There would be protests on the streets.
So many movies would have been
made on the issue.
But we are women!
Women can't make demands.
They are the epitome of sacrifice!
Their sole purpose
is to make others happy.
And, honestly,
our wiring isn't simple either.
When there is no pleasure here and here,
then how will we find pleasure there?
The three are connected.
Yes, but you can't find this pleasure with
your best friend's husband, Dr. Kapoor!
I am a defective piece!
Your daughter is cursed.
Careful.
Cursed?
I thought so, too.
Everyone was so disappointed with me...
when I decided that
you would be in my life.
Not your biological father!
Kanu, I was terrified.
I thought maybe society was right,
and I was wrong.
I started to doubt myself.
But,
like how you don't want to be
like your mother,
I didn't want to be like my mother.
I wanted to live my life on my own terms.
Even if the whole world was cursing me.
They must be cursing me too, now.
Maybe.
But everyone's happiness
is not our problem.
Only our happiness is. It's our right!
We won't make do
with this "tick mark life".
Neither for me nor for my daughter.
There's no reason to be sorry.
Because where there is shame and guilt,
happiness can never find its way.
Are you happy now?
I am.
Look at yourself.
You're intelligent.
You're independent.
You are a little funny, too.
And until sometime back,
you had the best of friends
who would die for you.
You've fought for 30 years
for your fairy tale.
So I guess,
I must have done something right.
But this time, I've messed up big time.
And only you can fix it.
Every action has its consequences.
Easy! It's hurting.
Kanu.
You remember in sixth grade,
you got an anonymous Valentine's card
in your room?
Obviously, Mom.
It was the only one I got in life.
Karan gave it.
What?
He came home to leave it in your room.
He told me not to tell you.
And then you found Bunny.
And he got close to Pallavi.
And life just happened.
But you know,
it used to happen a lot
in those melodramas,
"My journey has led me to you."
Sounds cheap...
but it's true.
When there is something unresolved
between two people,
the feelings can resurface.
If this was a melodrama,
then you would be pregnant tomorrow.
What an after-party!
With you,
my whole life feels like a party!
Thrilling, electrifying,
amazing party.
And we all are...
side dancers.
And you,
center stage.
Center stage?
Center stage?
I'm center stage.
You're a champion!
Diva.
Seductive.
Steaming!
Foxy.
I'm the star!
I'm the heroine!
Center stage.
Main lead.
Heroine.
I have come from
An unknown land of secrets
I bring stories of spring from there
Don't touch me, stay away
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
Don't touch me
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
I'm a fairy!
Mom!
What were you two...
You said,
"Do it yourself" is the key to happiness.
- I did it!
- What?
- I did it! Grandma, I did it!
- What...
What happened?
My journey has led me to my own self!
Thank you!
It wasn't Karan.
What is she babbling?
Thank you for coming, Kanika.
Where are you running like a lunatic?
- Yes!
- Have you gone mad?
Stop!
At least call Jeevan!
- Grandma!
- Hey!
We've paid the wedding caterer
for 250 people already!
Everyone has received
the wedding invite as well!
For once, do the right thing!
That's what I'm going to do, Grandma!
First time in my life,
I am going to do the right thing.
Hold on!
She left.
Kishori.
What did you mother-daughter talk about?
Say something.
What bullshit is it this time?
You both have gone crazy!
I am going back to Punjab.
Get my tickets done!
- Wait, hear me out.
- I'm leaving.
Kanika!
I've been trying to reach you for so long!
My wife has gone Tarzan on me.
And don't believe her, nothing happened.
Obviously, nothing happened.
How can anything happen?
Why not?
We had a real vibe.
After I left, who went into the room?
And we are extremely ashamed.
And don't want to point fingers
or blame anyone.
But both parties have to take
equal responsibility.
From our end,
Rohan Khurana stands suspended.
By her choice,
our head girl and school topper
would like to say a few words.
Rabeya Das.
Respected teachers,
dear friends,
dearest mother,
- I'm so...
- Rabeya!
Auntie.
No, no, no!
- Just shut up!
- Auntie!
Isn't that Kanika Kapoor?
What is she doing here?
Respected teachers,
students, parents,
I am Kanika Kapoor from class...
No, I'm not from any class obviously.
I'm an alumna of this school and...
and today after 17 years,
I have set foot in this auditorium
to say what Rabeya Das isn't able to say.
To hell with you all.
Kanu, stop it!
Why should she say sorry?
Will you all forget if she says sorry?
You didn't forget my episode!
Asked a question, say sorry.
Gave an answer, say sorry.
Caught with a boyfriend, say sorry.
Broke up with a boyfriend, say sorry.
Hooked up, be sorry.
Didn't enjoy the hookup, be more sorry.
Kick her out!
A woman has to apologize more
than a man in prison.
Why does a strong woman threaten you?
If she lives on her terms,
what's your problem?
We deserve happiness.
I deserve happiness.
I'll be shameless and
I'll grab my happiness.
Boys and girls have sex.
Hi, Neha Oberoi.
My mother and I are single,
and I am not ashamed of it!
I'm fine with it, babe.
And you three,
uncles of the first order!
I had this feeling about the three of you.
That soon you'll match
each other's receding hairline.
Amaan Singh, Nikhil Mittal,
and your Mr. Universe... Bunny Bhatia.
You are God's gift to mankind!
You are an asshole.
And I am Loser Kanika,
and I am not ashamed of it.
I am not ashamed!
That's why you slept with my husband!
Pallavi, just sit down!
Don't be silly! He is a friend.
He was there only for ten minutes!
- Ten minutes is more than enough for him!
- Shut up!
Pallavi, just stop it! Sit!
Please stop it.
They will cancel her college scholarship.
How can they do that, Tina?
Look at your daughter.
She's an honors student, the head girl.
Cambridge has offered her a scholarship.
One day, she'll be giving out jobs
to these losers!
You're a champion, Rabeya Das.
You're sensitive, loving,
respectful, non-judgmental.
This is who you are, Rabeya.
Not the silly mistake you made.
You know what?
We all make silly mistakes.
You're right, Auntie.
I am not ashamed of this video.
- Rabeya!
- I did nothing wrong in it.
Come back down!
- Please!
- Rabeya!
But all those who
helped spread this video,
you all should be ashamed.
Rabeya, don't.
It was an honest moment of love.
- Rabeya...
- No, Rabeya!
- Rabeya Das!
- Rabeya!
- Kanu, please!
- Security!
I don't want to say sorry!
I don't want to become thin!
I don't want to wear a bra!
I don't want to believe
in traditional values!
I don't want to get my eyebrows done!
I don't want to study math!
Smash patriarchy!
Smash patriarchy!
Smash patriarchy!
Smash patriarchy!
Smash patriarchy!
Rabeya, stop. Rabeya, come down!
- Come.
- Stay away!
Back off.
This journey continues beyond the sky
The threads of the world cannot stop it
The ones that had stopped
Are now running as dreams
Where will they halt now?
Life, the one that we've touched
Even our nature has a new color
Neither do we know ourselves
Nor anyone else
So live for today
Is there any more of it?
You both are super brave, Tina!
Grandma, the most!
What happened?
There are new moments...
New conversations, new days!
Everything has changed
Kanu, if I had married
your biological father,
then our surname
would have been Singhal.
That means our status
would be in our name!
No way.
Yes, that's a fact.
Kanika Kapoor Singhal.
Grandma, it's funny!
- You can laugh!
- Laugh.
Grandma!
What is happiness?
It is not some secret that you unlock.
It's a choice.
Every second of every day.
And if you haven't followed
the story up until now,
just know that...
"Happily ever after"
is for you when you're with you.
So the forward of my story will be,
"Once upon a time,
Kanika Kapoor met Kanika Kapoor.
And they lived happily ever after."