Thank You Very Much (2023) Movie Script

Okay, my movie, it begins,
it begins with the climax.
And you zoom out,
and then it says,
"The End," and then the credits.
And then you have
some blank space,
like about a minute of black.
Shh.
And you know what then happens?
You got the climax again.
And then it says,
"The End" again.
And then the climax again.
But each time there's
a little something different,
and it tells a story.
So it's a whole,
you know, it's like
you thought you saw
the climax already,
but then when
you finally see it, you see
there's more to it than that.
- No.
- No?
I know very little about you,
but I'd like to find out
a little bit if I may.
I always believe in
being honest.
I always believe in
telling the truth.
Is there any
controversy about his death?
I didn't believe it.
I thought it was
another of his pranks.
This messing with reality,
is everything
that Andy's about.
Release the energy.
Bum!
If you're
a struggling comedian
or comic actor
trying to break into
movies or television,
this is the place to start.
A fellow who owned a club
in Great Neck, Long Island,
called and said he had
a comedian he'd like me to see.
We chatted for five minutes,
and introduces himself
as Andy Kaufman.
"I am here to perform
for you tonight."
And I said,
"Great, where you from?"
And he says, "I am from
an island in the Caspian Sea."
You know, okay.
I...
There was two penguins
on a piece of ice,
and they loved each other
very much.
So, uh...
So one day the ice is broken,
and so the two penguins
are crying.
They are crying
because they're never
to see each other again.
So they go away, you know,
away from each other,
and one day they,
to see each other.
So they get closer and closer,
and one of them say...
You know, because
they never see each other again.
Thank you very much.
You know, the first time
I saw Andy Kaufman,
I went to the Improv.
Right now I would like
to do some imitations for you.
And I don't know,
and I think it's real.
"Thank you very much"
with this guy.
He's got his hair
plastered down,
and he looks like some foreign
guy that's just got off the bus.
I would like to imitate
my Aunt Esther.
"You come into the house
right now, put on your coat,
and eat everything
that's on your plate."
Thank you very much.
And Budd's sitting
in the back
and people are coming up
and saying,
"Get this guy off.
This is terrible."
I'm convinced
this is how the kid talks,
and he's doing he's act,
and getting laughs.
I said, "That's a little silly."
Not exactly my cup of tea.
Last but not to be the least,
I would like to imitate
the Elvis Presley.
Yeah!
He looks just like
Elvis Presley,
and you're waiting for that
"thank you very much" voice.
But instead...
Thank you very much.
Well it's one for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready now
Go, cat, go
But don't you step on
My blue suede shoes
Well you can do anything
But lay off
Of my blue suede shoes
Let's go cat!
We the audience now
are hit with a baseball bat.
Like, what?
Thank you very much.
Could I please have
my thing back?
I wait around after.
I'm very confused about this.
And I see him
getting into this car.
And he was crying, he was,
this man who was in tears.
I felt very bad.
I went over and I said,
uh, "Can I help you?"
And he says, he said...
I knew it was Andy.
He says, he says, "Yeah."
He says, you know,
"My arm hurts
and I can't pick up
that luggage."
And he's going on like this,
so I take it.
He has the congas
and I'm lifting all this stuff.
I'm lifting
all this crap for him.
I no sooner get everything in
and he closes the trunk,
and he turns to me, he says,
"Thank you very much, sucker."
Just like that,
he gets in the car,
and he drives off.
This is my friend, Bob.
Say hi, Bob. Bob's my writer.
Bob's my writer.
He writes all my stuff.
I gave him a job.
Ah, get out of here
you disgusting...
Crawl!
Bob Zmuda was a kindred soul,
you know?
They're hard to find
when you're Andy Kaufman
and you're weird.
Besides being
Andy's writer, you know,
Andy and I were best friends.
- I can't take it!
- Get out of here!
- No, I can't take it!
- No, no, no, no!
- I was only fooling.
- Put the knife away.
But let me kind of
reel it back in here a little.
The question always comes up,
"Who was the real Andy Kaufman?"
Oh, yeah, it's always good
to be yourself and go out there
and show the people
who you really are.
Andy Kaufman.
And now here is
the real Andy Kaufman.
So that was really
you out there,
and what are you doing now?
- Right now this is really me.
- Oh.
So now are you are speaking
as you really speak.
Because this show is interested
in the truth.
Really, I'm only fooling.
This is really me,
and everything else...
What I was just doing before
was just a character.
So he's an artist,
and his art form was his act.
That's who he is.
I would like to imitate eh...
And what the act
is all about...
... was embarrassment.
That premise of a guy
that really shouldn't be there.
I don't understand one thing.
No, seriously.
Why everyone is...
going "Boo!" on, like, the jokes
when I tell some of the jokes.
And then when I don't want you
to laugh, you're laughing.
Like right now.
I don't understand.
It's not working, so...
I think...
so I think, um,
thank you very much.
And I'm sorry,
and there's other acts, and so,
I really
shouldn't have done this.
You know, I'm not trying
to show any talent.
I'm not trying... All I'm trying
to do is have some fun.
This is like when I get together
with friends and we go home
and have some fun,
and I wanted to believe
we were friends having fun.
It doesn't work.
I have no business being here
and I wanna thank you all
for showing me where I'm at.
You really showed me
where I'm at tonight.
I was just trying
to do my best...
but you ruin
everything.
Every time I've
tried, it goes wrong.
I'm trying to do my best.
Working for Andy was almost
like working for Harry Houdini.
These were illusions.
We wanted the audience
to leave the room and say,
"Was that for real?" That's it.
That's all we want.
I followed him
a couple of times.
It was always interesting
to walk into the vortex
left after him,
'cause people are like this.
The audience would all
look like deer
in front of a Peterbilt, like...
They had that stunned look
like you right now.
That very special kind of...
He sings, he dances,
I don't know
what he'll do tonight.
Here's Andy Kaufman.
All comedians
had to think,
"What's new?"
And I think that's what
Andy Kaufman did.
He might've thought,
"This is not even weird."
Comedy became less jokey
right around then.
That was the new generation.
He was right in on that,
and his stuff was even stranger.
It wasn't something
Johnny Carson would understand.
Where are you from originally?
From Caspian.
- It's an island. Yeah.
- Caspian?
Caspian Island.
He wasn't really
a stand-up comic.
It was something
that he kind of invented.
When I was starting,
comedians would go up
and do 20 minutes
of joke-telling, usually.
I never did that. I've never
told a joke in my life really.
Actually,
he was more excited
if he could
get them upset and leave.
That's what The Great Gatsby
was about.
Chapter one.
"In my younger
and more vulnerable years,
my father gave me some advice
that I've been turning over
in my mind ever since."
Andy readThe Great Gatsby ,
and that was it.
It wasn't that he read
The Great Gatsby
and then he fell into a hole.
That was it. And so it
was conceptual and it was pure.
I wish I could say
it was popular.
Wait. Now hold on.
If I hear any more...
I want it quiet.
Literally, four
or five hours later,
he's reading that damn book.
If I hear one more sound
I'll close this book
and forget the whole thing.
It's torture.
Just as much torture
if you tied somebody
to a chair and you were cutting
them, with a razor blade.
That's it. Good night.
I'm closing it,
forgetting about
the whole thing.
I... No, I'm only fooling.
I wouldn't do that to you.
He's say,
"I don't care if it's positive
or negative.
I just want it to be real."
And that's okay.
A what-the-fuck-is-he-doing
reaction is okay.
Everybody thinks
you're nuts,
but, Andy would always say
to people like...
"They laugh at us.
We laugh at them.
Everybody laugh."
That's like,
it's like
a fortune cookie thing.
It's like, you know,
a Zen koan.
Isn't this fun?
See how much fun? See how--
From Hollywood,
the dating capital
of the world,
it'sThe Dating Game .
We grabbed the first man
we saw hanging out
on Hollywood Boulevard
and threw him
into chair number three.
We know virtually nothing
about this man,
only that he calls himself
Baji Kimran. Baji,
welcome to The Dating Game.
It's amazing.
"The Dating Game" is,
'cause nobody knows who he is.
Bachelor number three,
it's the holiday season
and I'm Santa.
You're on my lap.
Little boy, take it away.
What?
Wait a minute.
Wait. I don't know
what, what she looks like.
- Could I see?
- No, you can't.
- You can't, number three. No.
- Oh, all right.
That's the game.
You just have to sit
- and answer as best--
- What's he doing now?
Oh, he's playing
with the medium.
Patrice
didn't choose you, Baj.
But I answered
all the questions the right way.
Come on.
Come on over, Baji.
- No!
- She'll give you a kiss.
No! I did not lose.
- I won this fair and square.
- He doesn't want
to meet you.
Let me tell you something
about the bachelor.
Oh, here he comes. Come on, Baj.
Aww, give him a hand.
Did a great job.
I answered all the questions
the right way.
There is no right.
Okay, Andy,
we're recording,
and if you'd like to say
a few things, we're ready.
And you're on.
Faster than a speeding bullet.
more powerful than a locomotive.
able to leap tall buildings
in a single bound.
Look. Up in the sky.
It's a bird.
It's a plane. No. It's Superman.
Yep. Superman.
Strange visitor from
another planet who came to Earth
with powers and abilities
far beyond a mortal man.
Super...
I saw Andy, and from
the beginning I was amazed.
I mean, he'd been working
certain parts of his act
for quite some time,
and they were really polished.
Fights
a never-ending battle for truth,
justice and the American way.
I didn't even know
what the show was
but I told Andy
he'd be on the first show.
NBC's Saturday Night!
Here's Andy Kaufman!
Mr. trouble never
Hangs around
When he hears
This Mighty sound
Here I come to save the day
That means
That Mighty Mouse
Is on the way
Everything would shift.
It's like when you look
at one of those things
for a while,
and all of a sudden
it goes like...
It's art. It's performance art.
I was like, "Whoa!"
There's two things
that are really funny about it,
that are very hard to do
in a comedy routine.
One,
"Here I come to save the day!"
But he's also funny
while he's waiting.
The audacity he had
to burn up stage time
drinking a glass of water,
listening to a Victrola.
He didn't care about boring
or making the audience
uncomfortable.
In fact, I think he really
relished taking us prisoner.
There was
a sense of suspension in time.
What is he doing?
Why is he doing it?
And in that moment of silence,
you go to a deeper part
of yourself.
You're not so caught up
in the thinking mind,
and he lets things percolate.
Everyone tries
to project this thing on him
of what a...
and he was a genius,
but he was just having fun.
Hi, Little Red Riding Hood!
Hi, Andy!
Oh, really?
I don't know
if it was conscious
that he was trying
to retain his childhood,
or if it was just
a natural thing
that happened to him.
- Ah!
- Escaping into
these happy characters
was his way of staying a child.
My next guest
was one of the first
television personalities
ever on television.
His show was on from 1947
to 1960, and for me,
he was the first star
that I was ever aware of
in my whole life.
Ladies and gentlemen,
it is my honor and privilege
to present
the original, yes, the original,
Howdy Doody.
Ever since he was a little kid,
he was living
in this kind of fantasy world.
- Hi, Howdy.
- Ho, ho! Well, hi, Andy!
He never let it go.
So like,
you're the first friend
I ever had,
and probably the closest,
I think.
I always wanted to meet you,
and now I finally am.
Well, Andy, I...
I'm glad to meet you, too.
I was once
in your peanut gallery
when I was five years old.
I was kind of depressed
seeing what everyone was like
when they weren't on camera.
And I could see the man
who was working your strings.
And I must say,
even though I could, you know,
even though I could see
your strings and everything,
to me you're just as real as
anyone else who's on this show.
I feel like I'm really talking
to a real person.
He was part magician.
He was part comedian.
He was part actor.
And then when he could
allow other people
into that fantasy,
it was a world
that he controlled.
Is there anything
you'd like to say
to all the boys and girls?
Well, I just want them
to know that
even though
they're all grown up now,
they'll always be a place
for them in my heart.
He never really
felt safe in the world.
He had the ability to evoke
emotion in other people,
but he didn't really
quite understand
the complexity
of his own emotional life.
I think we all wanted
to analyze Andy.
Like, what kind of parental
damage was done to this boy?
That is
the million-dollar question.
What kicks this off in Kaufman?
Where does it come from?
You know,
it's like if you're looking
at the universe
and it's all exploded.
and then you go,
"Let's go backwards."
And it shrinks down
to the sort of
' Big Bang focal point'.
I see that
as his bedroom.
And he's a normal kid
at first,
'till he's about four,
five years old.
I started standing
in the living room,
and I would stare
out the window,
just stare,
and I would be very sad.
Do you remember
what you were sad about?
His best friend
is his grandfather
they called Papu.
And he loved this little boy
to death,
and the little boy loved him
to death.
They were always joking around,
singing songs, this and that.
And one day,
the grandfather
doesn't show up anymore.
And Andy started asking
the parents,
"Where's Papu? Papu?"
The grandfather had died,
and they thought a little boy
could not deal with
the concept of death.
So they lied, and they made
the greatest mistake.
They said, "Well, he went
traveling out of the country."
So I'd say,
"Why didn't he take me
with him?"
If he was my friend, you know?
- Then I pictured--
- "If he loved me...
- Yeah.
- ...he'd have taken me."
But it turned out that
that might've been
the wrong thing
to tell someone like Andy,
because Andy kept looking
for Papu Sy to come back.
And I suspect maybe that's why
he was looking out the window,
and maybe that's why he was sad.
And this is where it all starts.
There'd be no Andy Kaufman
if it wasn't for this.
And think of the pain of that, okay?
The pain of rejection.
Embarrassment.
- Rejection.
- Oh.
This is
the magic ingredient
that happened as a youth.
And at that point,
that little boy then,
just gets closeted in his room.
"Uncle Andy's Funhouse!"
Oh come along with me
To my little corner
Of the world
I'd lock myself
in my room,
and I'd imagine that
there was a camera in the wall.
And I used to really believe
I was putting on
a television show and it was
going out to somewhere
in the country or in the world.
I had about four hours
of programming every day.
I called my station Channel 5
because the street address
was five.
When I got older,
my mother
really began worrying,
and she said,
"You cannot do this anymore
unless you have an audience."
What are we gonna do this week?
Well, today, I'm gonna teach you
- the hula dance!
- Oh.
Unknownst to us,
Andy put in his own ad
in the local PennySaver
telling people
that he would entertain
at children's parties.
He's doing
magic acts, puppets,
and he's singing songs.
And he said,
"I would only be happy
when I would start
doing my act,
because then it was fun,
and I was happy,
and I wasn't sad anymore."
So welcome
To my little corner
Of the world
- Andy!
- What?
- Come upstairs!
- No!
Andy, you hear
your mother call you?
- You get up here right now!
- Okay!
What do you want?
I'm in the middle of a show
for 22 million people.
I want to eat dinner.
I'm hungry.
Everything's getting cold.
Dinner's getting so cold.
In high school,
there was one afternoon
where there was kind of
a group gathered around him,
and he was doing
an Elvis impersonation.
And I was like, "Oh, Andy,
please, no. Don't do it."
I just felt so...
I felt like
everyone was just
finding him strange and weird.
When you grew up in Great Neck,
it was very hard
to be different.
There was
a pressure to conform.
Well, you know,
you can't please all the people
all the time.
Andy and I
had difficulty
in talking to each other.
I would make a point
about a factual situation,
indisputable in my mind,
and I'd say,
"For crying out loud,
one and one is two!"
And he'd look at me
and he'd say,
"Not necessarily."
When Andy was about 16
or 17 years old,
Andy ran away from home.
And this is for,
like, a year.
He's living in the city park
for a year,
underneath a park bench.
I used to drink very,
very heavily,
smoking marijuana every day,
taking DET, LSD, DMT,
Dexedrine, all kinds of things.
We were scared stiff.
Jack, uh, I got a couple
of square questions,
but the answer
may be interesting.
How long did "On the Road"
take to write?
- Three weeks.
- How many?
- Three weeks.
- Three weeks?
That's amazing. How long
were you on the road itself?
- Seven years.
- Seven years.
This was Andy's bible.
And Andy, he asked me,
"Dad, please, I'd like you
to read this book."
And I remember
very vividly
in the middle of the afternoon,
the sun streaming
in the bedroom window,
I came across a passage
that was very, very moving.
It was a story
that related to a father
and son relationship,
and I started to cry.
And the tears are streaming
down my face,
and at that moment
Andy came into the bedroom
and he saw me.
And he knelt down beside me,
and we started reading together,
and we both started to cry.
I had a tremendously
increased understanding
of what Andy was trying to say.
He was right. One and one
isn't necessarily two.
It depends on what
you're talking about.
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
is a simple man
with a simple message.
He is a guru, a teacher
of a technique of meditation
based on traditions originated
thousands of years ago.
Much has been written and said
about the involvement of people
like The Beatles and Mia Farrow
with this Eastern philosophy.
His teachings
are totally opposed
to the so-called
mind-expanding drugs.
The prospective meditator
is given a mantra,
one of a number
of key words or sounds
to aid in achieving
a transcendental state.
I didn't know you were into
transcendental meditation.
Oh, yeah,
I started a few years ago
and I found it to be
a very helpful to me.
The last time I took
any drugs of any type
was November 20th, 1968.
That was 15 days
before I started meditating.
If not for TM,
Andy would be on drugs,
he'd be an alcoholic,
he'd be in jail,
he'd be in a loony bin,
or he would be dead.
The surface
of the ocean,
is very rough with the waves,
but as you get
deeper and deeper,
there's a kind of silence
at the bottom of the ocean.
And he liked that experience.
That's why
he continued doing it.
It wasn't like he was
meditating for a goal.
The goal was the process itself.
Andy's a little unusual
in that he's actually a teacher of TM.
That's where I first met him,
on my teacher training course
when he and I both were studying
with Maharishi directly.
The way
that course was structured
is there were
several thousand people
hearing Maharishi lecture
every night.
And to ask a question, you'd
often have to stand in line
sometimes for days.
It was rare that anybody
would ask a frivolous question.
So when Andy got up to the mic,
he began to ask Maharishi about,
he was concerned about, uh...
Mm.
Andy's angle, obviously,
was one that not many people
had mined.
Huh?
At that point then
Andy began asking about
what the nature of comedy is.
And the way
he posed the question,
he said, "Well, what if--"
The primary source
of life is in the gaps
between one creative event
and another.
This is basically what
Maharishi's whole teaching was.
The origin of thought.
I think it's something
he thought about deeply
for a lot of his career.
He became very sensitive to
creating that great contrast.
But where does the contrast
come from?
Silence.
Meditation doesn't make you
all the same.
Meditation makes you
more of who you are.
To transcend means to go beyond
ordinary human limitations.
I think Andy was a vehicle
for the transcending.
He didn't take you out.
He took you in...
to sort of go
for the Andy ride.
Did that answer your question?
I went to college,
and I said to myself,
"What do I want to do
with my life?"
Do I wanna keep
getting stoned?
Which I don't really
enjoy all that much.
Or really do something
with my life?
You know?
I wanna be on television.
I wanna be successful
at what I do.
I went to Grahm Junior
College in Boston.
Andy Kaufman was studying
television performance,
and I was studying
television production.
I was probably the only friend,
you know, he had at that time.
You would not believe that
I came from Goodwell stock,
that I was purer-blooded
than the white trash here,
and of more direct lineage
than the New Englanders
and Virginians of Spoon River.
Living in America
at that age,
coming from Iran, not knowing
so much, you know, English,
it was very difficult.
I had difficulty
talking with people,
and it was difficult
for them to wait,
to learn, what I'm saying.
But he always helped me.
He always listened to me.
This is the most important part
of my relationship with Andy.
- Why?
- Well,
because I asked him,
"You know, Andy,
what are you gonna do
after you know,
you finish Grahm?"
He said, "Well, I'm going
to be a comedian."
I said, "Andy, if you want
to be a comedian,
a comedian has to have
a unique character."
I said, "Imitate me."
He calls himself
Baji Kimran.
And what do I do?
And that's what he did.
But after that,
he never mentioned
what he wanted to do
with my accent.
- Welcome, Andy.
- Thank you very much.
He would say,
"Thank you very much."
But I wouldn't say that.
I would probably say,
"Thank you... verymuch."
Where did you find
that original voice?
I don't know.
I grew up in New York,
and you hear a lot of different
voices there. And--
You don't hear
that one.
Andy Kaufman's character
is me.
I am the real Latka Gravas.
So are you saying
he stole your identity?
No, it was a gift
from me to him.
In the TV series
Taxi ,
Kaufman drew
widespread attention
as an immigrant mechanic
who fractured English
and logic all at the same time.
Hello. I am Latka Gravas.
I went to the Comedy Store,
and Andy was doing Foreign Man,
which was the sweetest comedy
you ever saw in your life.
He had the part immediately.
He had it before he had a read.
He was so sweet and kind of,
he had those huge eyes.
Oh!
And that delivery
that he had...
Oh. That's the sweetest thing
anybody ever said to me.
I think.
Even though he was always
a little oddball
and his rhythms
were really different...
I, I've been
looking forward
to seeing you all day.
I mean, he was just,
he was adorable.
First day ofTaxi.
First day, okay?
Down at the end of the table
was Andy sitting all alone,
sitting there like this.
Got a tape recorder
in front of him.
Got a headset on.
Going like this.
So I'm looking at the guy.
15, 20 minutes,
he's sitting there all alone.
And to break the ice,
I say, "Hey, Andy, what kind
of music are you listening to?"
Right? He gives it to me,
the headset.
This is what I hear.
"Thanks, Andy."
I give it back to him.
- Now, you go two ways.
- Right.
You say he's a consummate actor,
sitting down there, studying
the lines that he's created
for this character of Latka,
the Foreign Man.
Or he's sitting down there
for 20 minutes
waiting for some sucker
to ask him
what kind of music
he's listening to.
When you gave him
a note, it'd be Latka startled
there was a guy in show business
giving a note for what?
You know?
Just...
It was like
the real person existed.
You know Latka's language?
What was
the country song?
Something like that.
I don't know.
Andy was
the breakout star
that first year.
Everybody loved Latka.
Come on. You know?
All the shit that he was doing.
Now remember that
Andy is the strangest thing
onSaturday Night Live
in that first year,
and the following year,
he's in a sitcom.
No!
Now, remember
what a leap that is.
You can't get him
on television,
and then they want him
in prime time.
In the height of this,
he decides
to take on a busboy job
over at Jerry's Deli.
Latka? Latka?
The way I can describe
Andy Kaufman, basically,
is excellent, hard-working,
very serious in his work.
Sometimes in show
business there's a separation
between the performer
and the public.
They don't get to walk around
among people,
and being a busboy keeps me
in touch with people.
- Why do it?
- People contact.
See how they react.
See what they do.
And also look for
people like myself saying,
"Is he for real?
What is he doing?
Why is he doing that?"
Finished?
Okay, um, um...
I would still like to know
who the real Andy is.
Do you mind if I get to
the head of the line?
I only have one piece of cheese.
- Go to the back.
- Excuse me, lady.
I'd like to pay for this cheese
right now, okay?
- No.
- I'd like to pay
for this cheese!
I would like to pay...
Get your hands off me!
You're not getting
in front of me.
I got the feeling that Andy
was almost always performing.
He did all these bits
with Bob Zmuda,
pretending to be
different characters
even in his leisure time.
I'm sorry about,
I'm sorry about all that.
I apologize
for all those people.
Okay. Swiss cheese.
- $1.72.
- Okay, thank you.
Thank you.
I don't have any money.
He would say to Lynne Margulies:
"Let's make-believe
we're fighting."
We'd pull up in a car
next to someone
and he'd reach over
and start choking me.
And I would reach over
and I'd go, "Help me, help me!"
And the car would speed off.
Are you finished
- with your salad?
- No, I'm not.
Are you finished
with your salad?
He used to have some really
crazy ideas we'd talk about.
One time, we were talking
and he asked me,
"Do you think you could rent
the Atlantic Ocean?"
Did he really think
anybody could possibly...?
But he talked about
what he wanted to do
if he could.
What drove people
crazy, the one thing was,
was the Baskin and Robbins.
The 30 flavors.
They would give you
the taste test.
Andy would stand there forever.
He would get a taste
of every ice cream
and infuriate everyone
who was behind him in line.
Our very first Thanksgiving,
Judd and I were doing publicity
in New York,
and we were walking
down the street in the Bowery.
And all of a sudden he said,
"Is that Andy panhandling?"
And he was on the street corner
panhandling, you know.
And it was like, "Andy? Andy?"
And he was like,
"Oh, hi. Marilu and Judd.
Oh, hi, yeah."
"What are you doing?"
"Oh, I'm getting money."
You know, he was just...
He always said,
"I'm not a comedian.
I'm a song and dance man."
So he always dreamed
of doing Carnegie Hall.
Ladies
and gentlemen,
Andy Kaufman!
That's why he did Taxi.
Because he said,
"Hey, man, with fame and money,
I can do
all this other stuff now."
He was really having fun
doing what he was doing.
Whether they got it or not
was up to them.
Oh.
Oooooo-klahoma where the...
Oooooo-klahoma
Where the wind comes...
For a non-rehearsed show,
it came off without a hitch.
I'm sure it's the craziest show
that was ever at Carnegie Hall.
And there was
a homeless guy
that Andy met in Times Square.
On the corner of 45th Street
and Broadway,
I saw a crowd of people
in a circle,
and they were all
watching this one man,
and he's with us tonight.
And the guy was singing
- this song...
- Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year!
Later on,
he brought a lady
that was a dancer in the '30s
and she had a heart attack
on stage.
Am I supposed to laugh at that?
'Cause
that's real shit.
Is there a doctor
in the house? Seriously.
Is there a doctor in the house?
Please.
Will you shut these lights off?
Teddy, will you shut the side
lights off here, please?
And I guess she died.
And the next day the headlines
were all overThe Times.
Forgot about that. That's a. ...
How do you know
this isn't part of their show?
Maybe this is part of the show.
A few years ago,
when I was starting
in show business,
I said "Grandma,
one day I'm gonna
be playing at Carnegie Hall."
She said, "Oh, come on."
I said, "Yup. Grandma,
I promise you.
And when that day comes,
I'm going to give you
the best seat in the house."
So anyway, there's my grandma.
I played his grandma
once on stage,
in full makeup.
And I got to sit there
for an hour and a half
as his grandmother
while he abused people.
I mean, he played with people.
You could think of us as objects
in a sandbox and Andy was
sort of getting people
to do things.
After the show was over,
he comes out on the stage.
He says, "Now,
there's something special.
We're gonna go out.
When you walk outside..."
I'd like to take you all
out for milk and cookies.
So, if you'll all, please,
in an orderly manner,
there's 20 buses
waiting for you outside.
Seriously? You walk outside,
and sure as shit,
there's, like, ten buses
lined up on 57th Street.
Come on, everybody.
And they got
in the buses.
Andy led everyone in
like the Pied Piper.
He was like a magician.
He wanted you
to not see it coming,
and then all of a sudden, wow.
He told me
he lost 40 grand on that.
For milk and cookies.
He said,
"I don't care.
It's what I wanted to do."
It's no restraint, just like
a kid has when they're playing.
"Today, I'm a cowboy."
It's about that.
It's being in the moment
and really feeling
what you feel.
Tomorrow,
the show will be continuing,
one o'clock
at the Staten Island Ferry.
All right!
The relaxation
of the mind
is total commitment.
The reality of the beauty
of the rose is the sap.
And how do we find
this reality of rose?
By going deeper into the petal.
When we arrive
at the level of the sap,
there we find
the reality of this rose.
Latka! Latka! Latka!
So anyway, um,
I was doing all these far-out
things on television shows but
when Taxicame along,
it was just one character,
Latka,
and I kind of felt
inhibited by it, that,
you know, I was just able
to do the one character.
I wanted to have
more freedom creatively
to do these other things
like I used to do
on Saturday Night Live
and stuff,
- and um...
- Taxi.
He didn't want to doTaxi ,
'cause it was a sitcom.
They say, "Don't look at me"
with the cannon.
"Don't look at me."
They think I talk like that,
you know?
Little do they know, huh?
Little do they know.
They think I'm this lovable,
wonderful guy.
He didn't want
to be a slave
to the TV grind.
So he fashioned his own deal.
Andy had it
in his contract, that,
if he agreed to play Latka,
the character of Tony Clifton
would have to be in one episode.
Now you are probably
asking yourself right now,
who is Tony Clifton, right?
Hey, you look like a good crowd.
But the people
here at Harrah's swear
that Tony Clifton
is a big name.
I mean, after all, they put
his name up on the billboard.
Jambalaya, catfish pie
Chicken gumbo
'Cause tonight
I'm gonna see my maraschino
How can
an act this bad
get into the lounge
of Harrah's?
Well, there are some people who
will tell you that this man,
Tony Clifton,
is actually Andy Kaufman.
If you're happy
And you know it
Clap your hands
He also
sometimes makes carrot juice.
Honestly.
No talking, no singing,
just making carrot juice.
Says it's good
for his aging body.
I really wasn't that impressed.
I was expecting to see
something with a little class.
I can't see mass appeal,
if that's what
you're looking for.
I understand,
you have a beef
with a gentleman
by the name of Andy Kaufman.
Okay, that's it.
Shut off the camera.
There's a lawsuit?
Will you shut it off?
Just shut off the camera.
- Okay.
- Shut it off.
Then we'll discuss this
with the camera off.
- The camera off?
- Shut it off.
No cameras.
Go ahead. Cut it off.
- Is it off?
- Okay.
I was under the understanding
you were not to mention
his name.
Well, it almost came out
in the news today
about how you're filing suit--
I'm suing him. Yes.
- I'm suing him.
- Why?
Because he's using my name
to get places.
- You're kidding.
- You may want to film this.
Oh, turn the camera
back on then.
I'd rather not talk about Tony.
Wait, can you turn the...
All the news media
gather around me.
- Yeah.
- All the presses
gather around me.
All the girls,
all the chickaroonies
gather around me.
So he goes round
and he starts saying he's me.
He thinks, 'cause he can't get
a girl on his own.
Andy was a good,
nice Jewish boy.
But when he started
to embody these characters,
he would get stuff out of it.
Foreign Man allowed him
to be a child.
Elvis allowed him to be sexy.
- But Clifton...
- Get your own act together
and mess it up!
- allowed him
to be an asshole...
- Bozo!
...which was great power.
Everybody has anger
inside of them
- to some extent.
- Yeah.
And everyone has peace of mind,
inside of them to some extent.
I have both.
There is that serial killer
to him.
He's been injured deeply
as a child,
so that's always underneath it.
You think
you're gonna come and watch
a nice little show.
Nuh-uh.
Yeah, I just came back
from the east.
Let me tell you something,
it was so cold there--
How cold was it?
I don't ask you.
I didn't ask you.
Can we start this again?
Hey, I didn't ask you.
I didn't ask you.
Come on up here.
Why don't you come up here?
Tony Clifton is just,
is just, you know,
just a complete piece of shit,
horrible person.
It's very liberating,
you know what I mean,
to go out there and portray
someone who doesn't give a shit
what anybody thinks
about what he says.
Most people
have that constraint.
They can't tell their boss off.
This guy steps out
and goes,
"You're all fucking idiots,
you assholes."
It's psychotic.
But it's, wow,
you know what I mean?
Where else do you get
to do that?
You wanna see humor?
Yeah, I'll show you humor.
That's humor.
That's humor, pal! That's humor!
Aww, everybody say, "Aww."
Come on. Aww!
Well, I guess I'm what you call
maybe a passionate man
because I don't hold back.
When I'm talking about anger,
- I become angry.
- Yeah.
And I won't try and disguise it.
I won't try
and hold myself back,
or I'll get ulcers.
Then I'll die young.
His genius was
he was both people,
that he was the provocateur
and the sweet boy.
Nobody talks about
that incredible yin and yang
that was constantly
the two forces going on
all the time.
There's nowhere else on earth
That I would rather be
But here's what
really got strange.
When he got stressed out,
like onTaxi and anything,
I'd get the phone call.
"Hey, Bob,
I'm leaving town for a few days
and Tony Clifton's going
to be staying at my place."
I'd go over and Andy
wasn't at that house.
It was Tony Clifton.
Dance to the music
Dance to the music
Dance to the music
Andy never drank,
never smoked.
Vegetarian, holistic medicine.
Clifton was the opposite.
Steaks rare.
Chain-smoker. Booze,
Jack Daniels. Wow.
You know, heavy stuff.
And Andy never got kinky,
whereas Clifton. ...
Sing the song!
The episode came
where Tony Clifton appeared.
It was an episode
where Tony was going to play
Louie De Palma's brother.
Your brother's coming into town?
Due in today.
I'm expecting him any minute.
- I told you about him.
- Andy
is Tony Clifton,
but it's not Andy.
It's Tony Clifton.
Okay. What?
And suddenly
the fucking door opens
and in comes. ...
this fucking makeup,
like, pounds of makeup on.
Like...
He's got two hookers.
Dressed to the nines, their ...
Two prostitutes who were
the most on-the-nose casting
casting ever to take place
on that stage.
And he smells!
It's like when you're
in an elevator with, like,
"What the fuck is this?"
Holy shit.
That room suddenly became
like...
And we're all, like...
...looking at this thing.
And I go out there
and start rehearsing.
And, it's not gonna work.
"Yeah,
you're big stars, are you?
You got a great show.
Oh, wow, wow, wow.
Ooh, you're a big hit.
You're a big, you're the best!
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I got some notes.
And it, this shit..."
This is what kind of actor
Tony Clifton was.
I remember the line,
especially. It was like,
"You know Ma.
Sometimes she's sad,
sometimes she's glad."
I mean,
everything...
was talking... like that.
The cast will say,
"We're getting our lawyers.
Forget what's
in the contract.
I'm not gonna look
like an idiot
when we shoot this on Friday,
'cause Andy Kaufman's
playing this character
and fucking everything up."
And they were gonna kill him.
And now everybody's going,
"Wait a fucking minute.
Are we gonna what?"
So we got Andy on the phone
and explained to him
that it's just not working out.
He can't act. He's just terrible
Andy says, "I'll tell
you what, you could fire Tony,
if you do it in front
of everybody."
To fire him live.
I knew that a bunch of it
was a setup.
Some of it had to be. You know,
I was called
and told to be there.
"Bring your camera."
Something was gonna happen.
Ed came in and said
to Andy as Tony,
- "You're fired."
- But he calls him Andy.
And Clifton goes berserk
because he's not Andy Kaufman.
"I don't like Andy Kaufman
at all!"
And Tony refused to go.
"I'm not leaving."
Security is called.
They haul him off the set.
So we were
a huge success.
This was a huge opportunity
to us,
and then all of a sudden,
we have this insane situation,
totally giving
into somebody
that we love and adore.
And it's like,
"Why is..."
Why?
I think it's to fuck me up,
maybe. I don't know why.
And by now, all the press
is like, "Andy Kaufman
has lost his mind."
I couldn't really
penetrate whether it was
what Tony wanted,
what Andy wanted,
but the pictures were good,
and I thought
his sense of humor
about it was great.
- Thanks.
- Remember those photos?
- Absolutely. Yeah.
- It was like,
yeah, I know,
and I'm going,
so you wanna show me
these pictures,
but Tony got into trouble
and he got thrown off the lot.
But are the hookers real?
- Yeah, they were.
- I'm sure.
But I'm saying,
"But, Andy, did you,
did you know you were in Tony's
body when this happened?"
Around 1978...
I met the comedian
Andy Kaufman.
We became friends,
and I acted
as Andy's straight man
in clubs, and field trips.
We would go to Coney Island
to try out some
of Andy's theories
on cutting-edge comedy.
We'd stand around
the test your strength games,
the one with the big
sledgehammer and the bell,
and Andy would make fun
of all the guys
who were swinging away.
Finally, Andy would step up
to the big thermometer
and take a swing.
Pong! And it just goes up
like this. This far. Like,
"Try again, weakling."
And he's like,
"This is rigged.
I wanna see the manager."
And I was like,
"Oh, God. This is so great."
And I'm just like,
"I know. The manager.
Get the manager." It was,
he was like
the angel of opportunity.
Andy always chose the perfect
moment to make people
squirm.
A cyst, in case you don't know,
is a sort of collection of,
it's a collection of pus.
But for those in the audience
who are just curious
or who doubt,
I'm gonna give you all a chance,
those who would like to,
to come up here
and you can touch the cyst.
He wasn't looking for,
"Oh, wonderful.
So smart."
He was looking for...
Not too hard now.
- Just gently.
- Squeeze it!
No, no, no.
Just gently, seriously.
He wanted a reaction,
to make them feel something.
Getting the opportunity
to just go, uh, ah.
You know, "Let's see
who you are and what you think,
and let me see
if I can mess with it."
Are you for real?
I mean, really.
- I mean, Is that real?
- Okay.
Is that, I said--
No!
He's full of crap!
You're all full of crap, okay?
- I--
- Lady, you're full of crap.
Are you for real?
Lady, are you for real?
The hardest part of
working with Andy was in clubs
when I was the one who was
supposed to be the heckler.
What are you,
women's lib? Look at that lady.
I should call her Women's Lip.
Always a lot of lip service.
I'm sitting there in the club
just drinking whiskey
after whiskey, kind of
working up my nerve
and hoping I would still
hear the cue.
Want my respect? Earn it.
The day you can come up here
and knock me down,
you'll get my respect.
Till then,
stay in the kitchen.
That was my cue to get up...
I'd like to, okay.
...and, you know,
wrestle with him.
Get off the stage!
Get off the stage.
- I'm not getting--
- Get off the stage.
Get off the...
Oh
I've always been attracted
to bad boys,
and I also was
attracted to the violence
in Andy's work.
Just,
why you, get...
Get out of here! Get your hands
off me. Get your hands...
Get your hands off me.
We live in the most violent
country in the world.
So I really loved
anybody
who would subvert this idea
of this perfect American place.
He was a mirror.
And people didn't like what
they saw a lot of the time.
One day this happened. A woman,
postal service, walks in
with a package for somebody.
And Andy all of a sudden
said, "Why are you taking
that job from a man?"
"What, Andy? What, what, what?"
"Why are you, why?
That's a man's job.
A man should be
delivering packages.
You're putting some guy
out of work."
He provoked her
until he challenged her
to a wrestling match
because she was,
should've been in the kitchen
doing dishes.
What the fuck?
$10,000 to any woman
that can beat me
in a wrestling match!
I'll take you right
out of the audience.
Get lost, baby. I'd beat you.
You ever hear the screeching
of tires on the car
and you listen to whether
there's gonna be a crash?
That's how it felt with Andy.
Before television,
wrestlers used to go
from town to town
and offer $500 to any man
that could last in the ring
with him for three minutes,
but I couldn't challenge men
in the audience
because I'd get beaten
right away.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I am here to wrestle tonight.
This is not a comedy routine.
This is real. I am here
to wrestle a woman.
So I figured
if I challenge women,
there are enough women
who are almost as big
or as big as me
who they would have
a good chance to beat me.
Even if a woman was
to train hard for a long time,
I don't think she'd be
physically capable,
and also, a woman
isn't mentally capable to--
No, no, no, wait!
Because you really need
a certain,
you really need a certain kind
of way of thinking.
I'm not saying
women are mentally inferior
to men because
when it comes to things
like cooking and cleaning,
washing the potatoes,
scrubbing the carrots, raising
the babies, mopping the floors,
they have it all over men.
Let's get some competition here!
I have the brains.
The man has the brains.
Blatant kick in the stomach.
He spoke of his mother before.
I wonder where she is now.
I'll send you back
to the kitchen where you belong.
I'll have you scrubbing
the potatoes and washing,
washing carrots...
raising the little baby, because
that's where you belong, ladies.
It's sick. You gotta wonder
what kind of misogynist lurks
inside this guy's mind.
- Wanna see us dance?
- Yeah.
- I wanna see that.
- Okay.
A little display
of affection from a man
who really and truly adores
his grandmother.
So now I'm gonna
go back a little
to Kaufman's childhood again,
when he's a little boy.
His grandma Pearl,
for some reason,
this little,
this woman was into
professional wrestling,
and she would take to him
to Madison Square Garden.
Back then,
when Andy was a little boy,
they made the audience believe
that that was real.
Pin him, pin him!
So Andy's first sense
of theatrics,
is not a Broadway show
where there's that fourth wall,
you know? You believed it.
In this corner, Buddy Rogers!
You know,
Andy, he idolized
this wrestler named
"Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers.
Buddy Rogers was
the bad guy wrestler
who would taunt the audience.
He was just horrible.
I remember the frenzy
that he brought to the crowd.
He was the most magnetic,
energetic, exciting,
I've never seen a crowd
- get that worked up over a man.
- Oh, they did.
He wanted to be
that bad guy wrestler,
and the more anger he got
from the audience,
the funnier it was to him.
He was being
a classic wrestling heel.
They get to go,
and for a few hours,
they see a guy who's a monster.
He represents
everything they hate
in the world.
I am from Hollywood.
I'll sue you, baby!
And they get to boo
the shit out of him.
Andy tells me,
"It's the most
perfect thing I'll ever do."
You've got a crowd
hanging on your every word.
Shut up! I'm talking right now!
What started out
as a joke a few years ago
as part of my concert act
now has become
such a serious thing.
I'm now the World Intergender
Wrestling Champion.
This is no joke.
This is really true.
- He's not kidding.
This is molded plastic.
- And I...
No, it's real. It's real.
You fans who started
booing and hissing me tonight,
don't try that again!
I am a star,
and the next time I come here,
I want you all to get down
on your knees and bow down to me
and if I pass you by,
- kiss my feet.
- Come on.
And this was the time
when women's lib was exploding.
A new
movement for women's liberation
is launched,
and once again protesters
take to the street to support
their demands
for total freedom.
God, man, woman, dog.
Were you
a fan of the wrestling?
No.
The fact that he'd always been
such, to me,
a nice Jewish boy,
that he would be
so violent with women
really shocked me. He was kind
of breaking all the rules.
Was it feminist?
Was it misogynistic?
- Was it humorous?
- Hooray!
I think
it's all of those things,
but I still didn't like it.
I think he's a stupid,
little wimp weasel.
This guy's name is Andy Kaufman.
You may have seen him
on Saturday Night Live
or in Taxi. He says
he can beat
any woman at wrestling.
More than 900 females
from all over the country
disagree
with the funny man,
and are ready
to take him on.
This is from
a current issue
of Rolling Stone
about Andy's career.
Andy is a serious threat
to the moral climate
of the United States of America.
They bought it hook, line,
and sinker. They never thought,
"Oh, is this an act?"
This type of smut
being on the airwaves.
This should never be shown
on public network television.
That was wrestling match.
Giving women an equal chance
to compete with a man.
If they thought
it was an act,
they thought
it was a terrible act.
I just thought he was misguided.
He's a real nerd. A real jerk.
They wanted sweet Latka.
And so they'd see
this other stuff,
and they'd say, "Oh, my God.
That's so awful."
I will pay $1,000 to any woman
that will beat me in this ring!
And as an extra prize,
she will get to marry me!
I think a lot of people got it,
but a lot of people
didn't get it at all,
and they hated his guts.
And now it's time
for "The Going-Too-Far Corner."
- Oh!
- How are you?
- Nice to see you, Andy.
- Nice to see you, too.
I've got a little thing
I'm gonna show you here.
- Okay, you wanna do it for us?
- Yes, it's just like...
- What is it?
- It's eating eggs,
- you know?
- Oh, it's a raw egg?
- Yeah, two of them.
- Okay, let's see.
Oh...
That's disgusting.
He's gone too far.
- You could say that again.
- Oh, no. I can't take this.
Hi, I am Robin Kelly,
AKA, the Red Snapper.
I was undefeated
as a female mud wrestler.
So I kind of had
a following
when I walked in there
to wrestle Andy.
Everybody knew that I was gonna
be able to take him down.
Andy was a great wrestler.
He was a fun wrestler.
He had the basics down.
If there's any doubt
as to if pinned him or not,
just watch the clip.
The referee, Bob Zmuda,
came under
considerable criticism
because it took him ten seconds
to count to three.
She had her three minutes.
Come on.
Fight,
you goddamn asshole!
At the time,
I was a little upset
that Andy did not give me
credit for pinning him.
But two days later,
he called me
and we did
some private wrestling.
So I got my payment
out of him.
Wrestling
is very sexual,
whether people
wanna admit it or not.
You know, they got ass
in their face.
They got balls
in their face.
Needless to say,
a super turn-on. ...
because it was
all about control.
His poor shoulder.
Look at the agonized look
on his face.
The reason that Andy
only wrestled women was
because he knew for a fact
it would get him laid.
I think that was genius, actually.
You know, were we a couple?
Were we dating?
I mean, I never,
Andy was with a lot of women.
He was kind of a sex addict
in a way.
He didn't have the
ability to really be intimate.
I used to jokingly say to him,
"Andy, isn't there gonna be
any intimacy after sex?"
And so Andy would look
at his watch, and he'd say,
"Okay. I'm gonna give you
a minute of intimacy."
And then he would say,
"My little creampuff,
my little lampshade,"
and he would just kind
of mimic this character
who was giving intimacy.
And then he'd say,
"Oh, minute's up.
Let's go to breakfast."
Andy had a way
of getting his needs met.
He was playing out
his psychological issues
and letting the chips
fall where they may.
For the last year and
a half, 50 matches undefeated
against women
from all over the country.
Kaufman says if he loses,
he will give the girls $1,000,
quit wrestling,
and shave his head.
- Pat.
- Oh, I just love
a guy like that.
In Israel, a rabbinical court
has ordered a 32-year-old man
to have sexual relations
with his wife or pay
36 grains of silver a week
until he does.
Should the husband disobey
the three rabbi panel,
the woman would become eligible
for a divorce.
Asked why he refuses
to have relations with his wife,
the man told the rabbis,
"I'm fed up with her."
He was beginning
to lose the power
to please us a little bit
with his perverse tricks.
He was kind of desperately
reaching for a new idea
or a new thought that would
take him up to the top again.
He'd gone onto a whole other
realm of alienating comedy.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you very much.
I am very happy to be here,
but one thing I don't like
about New York...
- Is the traffic.
- is too much traffic.
And it was so much traffic
it took me an hour
and a half to get here.
- Go ahead.
- What?
If you did new material,
I wouldn't know what
you're gonna do next.
I have a lot of new stuff
that I could do.
Okay, fine,
I'll shut up then.
Do something new.
What do you...
I have nothing new.
You know,
I was trying--
See, now this is the old
crying routine, bombing.
I thought
I would do my best today.
- I just...
- ...from my room.
- You've seen me do that?
- Yes!
People were losing
their patience.
Look, I don't consider
wrestling women
to be funny, to be creative.
Okay. Let me just ask you--
If Taxigoes off the air,
what are you possibly gonna do?
- Many things.
- You can't do movies.
- Why not?
- Come on.
What was your last movie?
- Heartbeeps?
- Yeah.
A piece of shit.
That was a bomb.
Charm computes
as an irrelevant exchange
of random data.
Therefore
it cannot increase efficiency,
correct?
- It's about as thrilling
as a cold potato pancake.
- I think it's a terrible film.
I was considered
a very original comic.
And "was" is the key word
right there.
You said it yourself.
He did wanna be a success,
but he wanted to do it
on his terms.
I can't imagine
he didn't care about the fact
that it was coming apart
at the seams.
Live from
the Las Angeles Basin...
This was Fridays.
A late-night comedy show.
And Andy Kaufman
was our guest star for the week.
You know, ladies and gentlemen,
this is live, you know,
and I've never hosted
a show live before, but,
but I just realized I can do
anything I want up here
and they can't do
anything to me.
At a certain point,
maybe out of desperation
or contempt,
he began to kind of
shit where he slept.
For example,
the last sketch,
which took place
in a restaurant,
we're sitting at the table.
He had a line, and he wasn't
delivering the line,
and we sat there for a while.
Just say it.
I feel really stupid.
- You feel stupid?
- Yeah.
We were Andy's
prisoners,
and whatever he wanted to do
with us
we would have to do.
I began to feel sorry
for him.
I wasn't sure anymore
who his audience was.
Bobby, go to commercial, man!
What? Why do you
have to be such a...
- What? What? What?
- What? What?
Come on, man!
I'd like to take on
his lady right here.
Come on. Okay, come on.
We'll move the cameras out.
What now? How else
are you gonna wreck your career?
Yeah!
It was all...
You're making it
difficult, Andy.
- Difficult.
- But
could she have been a plant?
So which character
is the real Andy Kaufman?
It was all real,
but it was not in a. ...
Everything he pulled off
was real,
but it was just not
a socially conventional reality
that we had all agreed to.
It was wild.
Because back in 1981,
this was something that
no one had ever done,
broken the fourth wall.
Can I help you?
Oh, um...
- How much is this one?
- It's about $900.
Wow, that's, uh...
All right, I'll think about it.
Have you ever
got stuck
in one of your characters?
No.
And if I do get stuck
in a character,
it's a wonderful thing.
You see?
The winner, Andy!
At the start,
if you look closely,
you can see
she was even taking advice
from the great Jerry Lawler.
Even with Jerry Lawler's advice,
she still couldn't do it.
Wow, ha.
Like a jazz musician,
he had a plan,
but improvised
and changed like that.
So Andy did,
he took it one step further.
You know what, Mr. Lawler?
I've heard what
you've been saying
on television.
You wanna wrestle me?
You wanna wrestle me
Memphis style?
Well, Andy, I got news for you.
I'm gonna show you
what it's like to be
a real professional wrestler.
Because it's very different from
climbing in the ring with women
when you're in the ring with me.
I'm gonna wipe the floor
with you, Mr. Lawler!
I'll give you a little sample.
This is what's gonna happen
when you and I wrestle
each other in Memphis.
Come here. What's your name?
Susan.
How tall are you, Susan?
Six foot.
And how much do you weigh?
327 pounds.
That's a lot more
than you weigh, Lawler, okay?
Watch this. Let's go.
Come on, baby!
That's what's gonna happen
to you, Lawler!
- See? Come on, baby!
- You're hitting her head.
- Come on.
- You're hitting her head.
Andy, I think
you really hurt her.
It doesn't matter.
She has no money.
- Are you okay?
- She's poor. She can't sue me.
Until I hear silence
I do not get in the ring!
I want complete silence
right now! Complete silence!
And here he comes.
He's going at it. He says
he does this hours at a time.
Whoa, there.
He's gonna take it on a suplex.
And there goes Kaufman.
Only the second move by Lawler,
and bang goes Kaufman.
Kaufman is talking
but he is not moving.
No wonder
you wrestle women!
You can't handle it
when it's a man!
Kaufman is
in the intensive care unit
at St. Francis Hospital.
He has had a battery of tests.
I always thought wrestling
wasn't real. But apparently,
I guess, at this least one was.
He started
to suck you in,
and even if you knew,
if something in your mind
you're going,
"Nah, this is an act"
he'd hold it long enough
that you're going, like,
"Wow. Maybe, is he...?"
I didn't realize
that some people
don't have a sense of humor.
I'm not really sure
what I wanna do.
I just know
not to wrestle anymore.
I don't know if I even want
to do anything. I don't know.
We're going to pause here
for station identification.
Get the hoses out here. No, no.
Be not so nervous
Be not so frail
Someone watches you
You will not fail
Be not so nervous
Be not so frail
Be not so nervous
Be not so frail
I was living
in this area called
Hat Creek up in the mountains.
But I moved back to LA,
and the day I got to LA
in my little Volkswagen Bug
with all my belongings
in the back,
my brother Johnny Legend
was shooting this video
calledMy Breakfast
with Blassie.
Have you read
the latest article on herpes?
Uh, no, but I heard about it.
Christ. It's terrible,
I tell you.
- Butter?
- Yeah.
And I said, "Well,
I'll come help." You know,
what the heck?
They put us at a table
behind them as extras.
They said,
"Don't talk to them.
Just don't say anything.
Just eat."
Have a seat.
- Sit down, honey.
- Sit down.
But in the middle
of filming,
Andy and Fred pulled me in
and had me sit
at their table.
So I actually met Andy on tape
in My Breakfast with Blassie.
That was
our first meeting.
Be not so fearful
Be not so pale
I had no idea
who Andy Kaufman even was.
I didn't watch TV.
But it turns out
that our sense of humor
was identical.
A lot of the time,
I will mention to someone
that Andy Kaufman
was my boyfriend
and a lot of women would go,
"Oh, my God!
I hated him. That wrestling
was so horrible."
I thought it was funny.
We were kind of inseparable
after that.
Tonight,
you people at home
are going to have
the opportunity to participate
in a unique television event.
For tonight, you will decide
whether one man
will ever appear
on this show again.
That man is Andy Kaufman.
Andy and Dick Ebersol,
who was producing the show,
agreed to have a vote
to determine
whether theSaturday Night
Live audience
would ban him from the show.
Should Andy Kaufman be allowed
onSaturday Night Live ?
My answer would be no.
Well, I think he's funny,
but I think he's obnoxious.
- I don't understand him.
- He's sick.
He's great. He's wonderful.
He's a jerk.
I think he's really hot.
Andy assumed
he would get voted off,
so the whole thing
was this put-on...
I never want to see his face
on TV again.
... between him
and Dick Ebersol.
Hi, I'm Dick Ebersol,
Saturday Night Live's
executive producer
They'd agreed.
They were gonna have a vote,
and they were going to say:
"Oh, we're never having Andy
back on the show again."
And then later on,
he was gonna come back in
like as Tony Clifton,
as a washerwoman or something.
And then pull his wig off and go
"Ha, ha, ha, ha!" You know?
But then in fact
when that happened,
Ebersol really didn't like
Andy anymore.
And in my opinion, Andy Kaufman
is not funny anymore.
- Yeah!
- And I believe you,
- the audience here,
agree with me.
- Yeah!
Of all the people
in the world
that I have
an intense dislike for,
Dick Ebersol
would be number one.
And I hope this sets
the record straight.
Ebersol is the guy
who discovered Kaufman.
It wasn't Lorne Michaels.
It was Ebersol
who went into the Improv.
So in a way, it's
Frankenstein and his monster.
So Ebersol went,
"You son of a bitch.
I created you.
I'm gonna destroy you."
I trusted you, I trusted you
I trusted you, I trusted you
I trusted you, I trusted you
I trusted you, I trusted you
I trusted you, I trusted you
I trusted you, I trusted you
Also, the meditation people,
had a problem
with Andy's wrestling
and all of those other stunts.
They were saying
his wrestling was not becoming
of someone in the movement
and they didn't want to be
associated with him anymore.
That was his anchor, you know?
Kicked him out basically.
"Really? What does that mean?
I mediate.
How did they kick me
out of that?"
Whoa oh
I trusted you, I trusted you
I trusted you, I trusted you
You don't have
anything new to do.
He can't even do Elvis.
He needs a wig now
'cause he's losing his hair,
to do Elvis.
I trusted you, I trusted you
I trusted you, I trusted you
Ladies and gentlemen,
the moment of truth has arrived.
I trusted you, I trusted you
I trusted you, I trusted you
To keep Andy,
ladies and gentlemen,
169,186 votes.
To dump Andy,
One...
I trusted you, ah
I trusted you, ah
It was nothing
but a double-cross.
Period. Exclamation point.
Sorry, Andy, you'll never be
on Saturday Night Liveagain.
- Goodbye.
- Yeah!
Hi, I'm Andy Kaufman,
and as you probably know
I've been banned
from Saturday Night Live
because of a poll
that was taken on the show.
The only way I can get back
on the air during the showtime
is to buy commercial time
at my own expense.
Well, I can't afford to do that
on the network,
so I'm going around
to individual cities
until I reach everyone, hopefully.
I can only hope that in
the near future there'll be...
another show
that might allow me on the air.
If and when that happens,
I don't know.
But until we meet again.
And then
Taxi is taken off the air.
Everything starts
falling apart.
Destroyed.
His career's being destroyed.
And he's loving
every minute of it.
You're so stupid, you people!
You're so stupid.
The happiest moments
of his life
were when he did that stuff.
People would be angry at me.
"Why don't you talk to him?
Why do you let him do that?,"
"Oh, you think
I have any control?
You do realize it's an act?"
They'd say, "No, I saw him
and..."
You know, they would,
like, oh, God.
I know
it sounds insane,
but everything
in America is wrestling.
You're performing
for an audience
that doesn't know
it's watching a show.
Matter of fact, that is why
he hired me tonight
to come here and criticize him.
Am I a plant?
Is this another Kaufman put-on?
You can't trust
anything in our society.
People will stand there
and tell you,
"I am the most devout Christian
in the world."
And you go,
"You fucked a pornstar."
But I am here as a favor
to get the ratings to go up.
If not for me, there'd be
no ratings on this show.
Everything is an act.
They laugh at us,
we laugh at them.
Boo!
Everybody laughs.
You will never be able
to get rid of me!
You can't get, you see my face?
You don't like it?
You don't like it?
Try and turn it off.
Try and turn it off.
You can't do it.
Because I'm gonna be
on every show.
And even you old ladies out
there that voted against me,
I'm gonna be
on your soap operas.
on your quiz shows,
your variety shows, your com--
Kaufman,
this'll teach you a lesson.
Keep your warped sense of humor
here
for a few years, you bum.
Then we started talking
and I said,
"Andy, who knows?
Your career's over.
You should have something
that you could fall back on."
Oh, no.
Yes, it was hard.
You know, he was pissed.
But then slowly
he realizes,
if you can destroy
your own life,
you're in control.
Think of that, faking his death.
Where did Andy get
that premise from?
His parents!
They faked Papu's death!
They faked it!
They said he didn't die.
Row row row your boat
Gently down the stream
The lie, the cherished lie,
can change reality.
- Merrily merrily merrily
- Life...
Reality can always
be maneuvered
and controlled.
This is very important.
Merrily merrily merrily
Oh, my God.
- Shortly--
- Quickly.
- Shortly after...
- Yeah.
...Andy began to,
- what? What are you gonna say?
- Became ill.
Andy became ill.
And we really didn't realize
how serious it was at the time,
but it turned out
to be very serious.
Then we're
out of there.
I think, I think, you know...
So...
And uh...
Okay, who else wants
to come up here?
He just had this cough
that wouldn't go away.
We went over
to Cedars-Sinai Hospital,
and they told him
he had lung cancer.
He had large-cell carcinoma,
which is
an aggressive lung cancer.
They told him,
"We can't do anything about it.
You're gonna die.
You're gonna die.
You have maybe
six months left to live."
He calls me and tells me,
"I have cancer."
My first reaction was,
"Bullshit.
You don't have cancer.
Don't do this to me.
I don't need this."
This guy didn't smoke
or drink,
ate health food, did yoga,
was a TM guy.
It's a knock-out.
Talking about the guy
who's pulling the rug out
from under everybody
getting rug pulled out
from under him.
It never occurred to him
that he couldn't beat it.
He almost lived in this magical
thinking kind of universe,
like, "I've got cancer. Okay,
I've just gotta get rid of it."
And so
some friend of his
had called him
and told him about
these faith healers
in the Philippines.
You know, and he just said,
"That sounds good."
It was the spiritual
manifestation of disease
is what he was pulling out
of your body.
I mean, it was chicken guts.
He palms them, and then
does this and says
it's the spiritual manifestation
of disease.
And I just kept
an open mind, you know?
If Andy believes it, then...
The doctors can't do anything
so what the hell, you know?
We stayed in touch,
and then he came back,
they said they healed him, but,
you know, they didn't.
Good evening,
wrestling fans,
and welcome to the world-famous
Nuart Theatre.
The last time I saw Andy was
they were having
a screening of his movie
My Breakfast with Blassie.
Leave it to Andy,
his hair was falling out
from the chemotherapy,
so he had a Mohawk
down the middle.
My wife and I then,
we just said,
"Why don't you bring all your
friends over to the Improv?
We'll have a little party."
Now, what were you gonna say?
Just to say
thank you very much
to everybody who came.
I'm glad that
people like the movie.
George Shapiro,
his manager, told me
that it was the best night
he had had
since he had gotten sick.
We plied him with chocolate
cake and chocolate ice cream
which he loved,
and it was a wonderful night
the last time we saw him.
He was just so frail
and vulnerable,
and you never felt that
about Andy.
You don't wanna lose
your friend that way.
It's sad when someone dies,
you know?
He loved me.
We'll wrestle our hearts out
tonight, right?
He succumbed
to a very virulent cancer,
and the sad thing was
that a lot of people
didn't believe it.
They thought
it was just another trick
he was playing,
that he would be back again.
I got calls
fromThe Washington Post
andThe New York Times ,
these type
of prestige publications,
asking me if this was a put-on.
Andy had the world
so confused by his actions.
Carol Kane,
she went to the funeral.
She said she went up
to the casket and poked him.
Poked him.
Because even at the moment,
she didn't think
that Andy had gone.
That's how he had us.
That's how he had us.
Yeah.
So this is why I have to
watch what I say,
guard myself here, because. ...
did Andy Kaufman fake
his death or not?
A few years ago,
there were rumors
he was living in Taos,
and in 2005,
a claim that Andy Kaufman
was seen panhandling
at an Albuquerque Walmart.
One thing I do know,
had Andy Kaufman not died,
what would he be doing?
He'd be faking his death.
We used to talk about it,
like how many years
he would have to stay away,
you know,
to really, and the years kept
getting longer and longer
because one year wasn't enough.
Then it would be ten years.
"Oh, maybe ten years.
Maybe, like, 20 years? What
about 30 years?" Then it's like,
Will people still remember me
in 30 years
if I come back?"
And I would say,
"They will if you come back."
It's almost 40 now,
you know what I mean?
But on the other hand,
God damn,
would I admire his commitment
to the bit.
You know what I mean?
I'd go,
"Well, holy shit, dude,
you hung in."
You know, I mean?
"You sold that.
Jesus Christ, you sold that,"
you know?
To you folks at home,
please, I'm sorry you gotta go.
But we'll be here
again next week.
And remember,
here's the words of wisdom
for this week. And they are...
"Whatever is unknown
is magnified."
So don't be afraid
of what you don't know,
because remember
it always seems
a lot worse than it really is.
After we had
the premiere
ofMy Breakfast with Blassie ,
he looked at me,
and he was very serious,
and he said, "Lynne,
I want you to promise me
to keep my work alive.
I want my entire life
to be seen
as one long, confusing,
beautiful performance.
Like if it was a pebble
dropped into water,
it would ripple out
and just keep rippling
and rippling
and rippling and...
it never stops.
It just never stops."
I see him,
I hear him, I hear about him.
I read about him.
It's like he's here.
So we are all
still wondering
whether it was real or not,
and that's the act.
Isn't it more fun to not know?
What have you been doing
since?
They just stored me in a box.
Well, that's terrible.
Oh. No, Andy, it's okay.
- You see, it's a regular box.
- Yeah.
And I'm folded a certain way,
and I just stay in the box.
The only thing, you see,
when I'm in the box,
well, I, I look like this.
But, yeah, but, Howdy,
- isn't it boring?
- Oh, yeah, sure,
it's kind of boring, 'cause,
well, there was nothing
for me to do
for all those years, and,
that's why I really enjoyed
being on your show tonight.
- Well we--
- In front of the lights
and seeing all the boys
and girls again,
it's, oh, boy,
it's really wonderful.
Well, it's really wonderful
to see you again, too.
You know, I just always wanted
to do this, you know?
I always wanted to meet you,
and I have so much
that I'd like to tell you,
and I wish you could talk more.
But, you know,
I want you to know
that I love you,
and this is really something
for me.
What'd I'd like to do
for you right now,
it's called eating ice cream.
So I'd like to do it
for you now.
Oh Rose, my Rose Marie
Oh Rose Marie, I love you
I'm always dreaming of you
No matter what I do
I can't forget you
Sometimes I wish
That I never met you
Of all the queens
That ever lived I choose you
Yes I choose you
To rule me, my Rose Marie