The 10 Year Plan (2015) Movie Script

I wanted to go
someplace special tonight.
Romantic.
If you've met someone wonderful,
then you should spoil them.
It's important to find that
special person
you can be yourself around.
Someone you could spend the rest
of your life with.
This calls for a toast.
Here's to relationships.
To first dates
Would you excuse me
for a minute?
Of course.
I'm close
(PHONE RINGING)
Hang on.
(GRUNTING)
What's up, Myles?
He's so cute and smart.
I really like him.
I think he may be the one.
What kind of puppy
did you pick out?
Puppy?
The one you're imagining in
your
dream house.
I have no idea what you're
talking about.
Boston Terrier
Where are you?
No, don't tell me.
Let me guess.
You're only gonna need one
guess.
God I wish you could see this.
This guy's ass is so tight you
could bounce a quarter off of
it.
Or something bigger.
Nice visual while I enjoy my
romantic dinner.
Well, my date and I are
sharing a connection,
deep meaningful conversation.
I took him
to this amazing restaurant.
Just gave him the red rose.
He's leaving, isn't he?
He just slipped
out the door.
Oh Myles.
Time to initiate
our suicide pact.
I fear the time is upon us.
Death by chocolate?
I'm afraid so.
Text me where you are.
You owe me an orgasm.
I'll make it a double
next time.
Is there gonna be
a next time?
Probably not.
Do you wanna shower at least
before you go?
I didn't break a sweat.
(PIANO BAR MUSIC)
Geez.
Nice place.
It was before my date left me.
Here,
this will cheer you up.
What's this?
It's your birthday present.
My birthday
isn't for two months yet.
I know, i figured you could use
a little "happy" now.
Hello.
You got my favorite!
Of course.
Don't get too excited,
it's not much.
Don't get all emotional on me.
You do have a sentimental side.
That's the day we met.
I made two of them.
One for you and one for me.
I just wanted to do something
that you would like.
Don't make me regret being nice,
alright.
Enough of this sappy crap.
Here is to Men.
Fuck them.
To finding the perfect man.
To friends.
To relationships.
Being single.
Do me a favor.
Don't let me die alone.
You're not gonna be alone.
I'm gonna be there holding a
pillow over your face.
This is to the hangovers we're
gonna have tomorrow.
So we agree?
To being hungover?
No.
That we won't grow old alone.
I'm never gonna be alone.
In fact, I'm already drafting a
list in my head of all the
things
I'm gonna do to our waiter.
Most of them are still illegal
in
forty-two states.
Hey.
Hey, I'm serious.
Come on, you know that I'm
always
gonna be here for you.
Alright, I can tell you're
obsessing over this already.
I'll make you a deal.
If in ten years we're both still
single and neither of us have
found anybody,
we'll be boyfriends.
A couple.
Together, forever.
A backup plan
You're serious?
Sure.
Here, you're the one who's going
to school to be a fancy
attorney.
Write something up,
I will sign it.
Make it legally binding.
So I have ten years then?
To find love before you're,
thirty-five.
Here's to being in love.
Here is to ten years of
freedom.
You happy now?
Unbelievable.

Here they are.
Made you those appetizers you
like
with the imported goat cheese.
Please sit down.
I will.
But, trust me, you don't want
dinner to burn.
It does smell great.
What is it?
It's Eggplant Sorrento.
Are you kidding me?
That's my favorite.
I know.
I called your mother.
You're making my mom's
Eggplant Sorrento?
Well you've been working a lot
recently,
so I thought it would be nice
to do something extra special
for you.
I can't believe you called my
mother.
That's a tad scary.
Sit.
Relax.
That's an eighty-six cabernet.
I'll be back in a few.
What's up?
Want to watch a movie tonight?
Can't, man.
Got plans already.
They start with a cold beer and
end with a sticky towel.
All the best nights do.
Looks like it's just you and me
again tonight buddy.
Hey, you're the one that
insists
on being straight.
Why don't you just come out
with me tonight.
You give me ten minutes
I will get you an ass so hot
you can eat breakfast,
lunch and dinner off of it.
I prefer my partners not to
have
the same equipment as me.
Not me.
I prefer the same, or bigger.
Hey, your loss.
(PHONE BEEPS)
Hello David.
Say hello to David.
Is it really that easy for you?
That's the beauty of being a
man.
Look, there's no wining and
dining.
Five minutes we'll have had a
beer,
fifteen minutes we'll be in the
sack,
sixteen minutes I'll be home
watching pay-per-view.
It's amazing,
you should try it.
Well, if you put it that way.
Seriously?
Hell no.

Someone was hungry.
And thirsty.
Here, taste.
Are you ever gonna sit down?
I'd really like to talk.
Wow.
That is good.
It's exactly how my mom makes
it.
Good, now I want to hear all
about your day.
Come to the table.
We'll talk over dinner.
I don't even know what to say.
How about, let's eat!
Fine.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Hi, I'm David.
Hi, I'm Brody.
Nice to meet you.
What is it with you guys
introducing yourselves like you
don't already know who I am.
I mean, you have sent me so many
pictures of yourself that I
probably know you better than
your
own doctor does.
I don't know.
Do you have a better way of
greeting someone at the door?
How about, "Hey Brody,
come on in, you want a beer?"
Hi Brody, come on in.
Do you want a beer?
No, I'm good.
You look terrified.
First time on Grindr?
No.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Ok, well, relax, we're gonna
have fun.
How about you,
do you want a beer?
Actually I'd love one.
Ok.
(BELCH)
Well, that's a nice compliment.
That was amazing.
I'm glad.
How did the client meeting go
today?
I hope you got all the,
"I'm thinking of you" texts I
sent.
Yep.
All ten.
You seem a little, tired
tonight.
Why don't you just
take your shoes off, relax.
I'm just, I'm trying to figure
out the best way to talk to you
about something.
As long as it's not,
"let's see other people".
Uh.
You want to see other people.
I'm just thinking that
we're moving too fast.
We've been dating for a month.
I see you
once a week for dinner and sex,
and I do all the work for both.
How is that possibly
moving too fast?
I just want to
pump the brakes a bit.
Well, do you think you could
have
pumped them down on a day I
didn't
spend cooking an elaborate
dinner
and planning erotic massages?
Wow.
Myles, one day,
you are going to make someone
the most amazing husband.
Just not you.
No.
I'm gonna leave.
Yeah.
(GRUNTING)
Oh Yeah.
Can I get you that beer now?
You're a quick study.
I like you.
Enough to see me again?
Enough to introduce you
to my friend.
Threesome?
I don't think I'm ready for
that,
yet.
Sure you are.
Myles, say hello to David.
Say Hi David.
Hi.
Hello David.
It's always a pleasure meeting
one
of Brody's "hookups", especially
after I've just been dumped.
What happened?
Like you have to ask?
You want me to come over?
That depends.
Do you like
strawberries infused with cognac
hand dipped in dark chocolate?
Strawberries and cognac?
Can I come?
You already did.
Twice.
I'll be right there.
Since when did you start
fucking
Martha Stuart?
One does what one has to,
to get a man.
I've had a lot of men,
I have never injected a
strawberry
with cognac before.
Well, not in the literal sense.
It doesn't matter anyway.
I'm done.
I'm in my mid-thirties.
Time to acknowledge the fact
that
I'm destined to be a gay
spinster.
If the thought of dog hair
everywhere didn't disgust me,
I'd be a gay cliche.
Trust me.
You don't need a small dog
to be a gay cliche.
Thanks.
Either way, I'm tired and done.
I'm sick of chasing men only to
have my heart broken every time.
Ok, enough.
I'm taking you shopping.
If you're going to be single,
you need the proper tools.
I'm afraid of you right now.
You're smarter than you look.
Come on.

If I know you, a kinky evening
of sex means using your left
hand
and your toy arsenal is nothing
more
than a two year old jar of lube.
Being single requires the proper
equipment and there's no better
place to get it than here!
Fleshjack.
Better than a real mouth.
Why?
Because it doesn't speak.
Dildo - No more gambling
with what's on the other side
of the zipper.
Nothing is worse than unwrapping
the whopper only to find they
skimped on the pickle.
Now you can come home to
Jeff Stryker every night.
Mini projector.
Now, you can watch your favorite
pornos in HD above your head!
I can see you've done extensive
research on the subject.
Hey.
I may not be good at many
things,
but the things I'm good at,
I'm an expert in.
Minty Fresh.
Here.
Richard.
Thank you very much,
enjoy sir.
I can't believe
you make me eat here.
Are you kidding?
Everyone knows the best food in
LA
comes from food trucks.
Yeah, so does E. Coli.
Hey, I got you something.
Its a sex toy.
If this goes where I think it
goes,
you and I are gonna have
a big problem, buddy.
It doesn't.
Trust me,
you're going to like this.
I went shopping with Myles last
night.
I was trying to cheer him up,
he just broke up
with his newest boyfriend.
Another one?
I feel so bad for that guy.
Yeah, me too.
Myles is a bit much.
No, I meant Myles.
You feel bad for Myles.
Don't.
If you want to pity someone,
try me.
Myles and I made a deal ten
years
ago that if we were still single
by the time we're thirty-five,
we'd be a couple.
That's ridiculous.
Myles is a successful, smart
lawyer.
He can do so much better than
you.
I know, right.
Wait, what?
I don't even know why you're
complaining.
I think it's a great idea.
You'd be lucky to have a guy
like Myles.
No.
That is the last thing
in the world I need.
You're crazy,
but we both know that.
Seems like if you don't want to
be Myles next boyfriend,
you're going to have to
do something about it - quick.
Myles turns thirty-five in one
month,
we have thirty days to find
Myles a boyfriend.
No, not "we," you!
(KNOCK)
It's open.
Hey!
You ready for boys night out?
Yeah, can I get you a drink?
I trained you well.
Nope, I got it.
Hey, can we stop by my place,
I didn't have time to go back
to the station.
Sure, whatever you need to do.
Ah.
I waited all day for that.
What are you looking at?
I rarely see you in uniform.
You like a man in uniform?
Who doesn't?
What do you think?
I think you look less like a
real cop
and more like a male stripper.
No wonder you're so easily able
to catch the bad guys.
Oh really?
Male stripper.
(MUSIC PLAYS ON PHONE)
Have you been a bad boy, Myles?
I may have broken a few laws
Someone needs to do a little
"hard time."
We should get going.
Yeah, we should go.
I'll get my keys.
I'll get my...I'll be in the
car.
(MUSIC STOPS)

A gogo bar?
Hey, every once in a while a
guy
has to get his gay on.
If you're worried about not
being
gay enough, I'd say you're good
for the next...year, maybe ten.
Two martini's so dirty the
health
department will shut you down
for
serving them.
What is is with you and gogo
bars?
Hey, now I have four of my
favorite things.
Booze, music, hot,
almost naked men.
That's three.
You shouldn't snub your nose
at gogo bars.
They are an important tool in
the
gay mans sexual arsenal.
Like candles
and chocolate dipped
strawberries?
Yes and No.
Look,
you need less romance and more
sex.
Ok, bear with me.
Define gogo boy.
A young.
Fit, attractive male.
Wearing next to nothing -
thrusting his engorged...
Let's just say he's a sexy male
dancer.
Yes, exactly, SEXY!
Men are visual animals.
We see a hot guy,
we get turned on.
Gogo boys are just eye candy
here
to stimulate our adrenaline and
boost our testosterone.
Ok.
So, they're here to tease.
You can't have them,
you can just look and gently
touch.
This is all fine,
but has nothing to do with me.
That is where you are wrong.
It has everything to do with
you.
Guys want them,
but they go home with me?
Finally, yes!
You want a man,
these boys will help you get
one.
I want someone
who cares about me.
Not someone who has sex with me
while thinking of some greased
up
muscle twink in a g-string.
Sex is sex.
For you.
You need to relax, ok?
Look, see that cutie over there?
He's serving up mouth shots,
go get him.
Along with possible meningitis.
I think I'll stick with my
cocktail,
out of my partially clean glass.
I'd rather not.
I know, but do it anyway.
Here you go.
Wow.
If I'm going to do it,
I might as well do it right.
(OFFICE SOUNDS. PHONES RINGING)
Got a minute?
No.
I'm up to my nose in briefs.
And not the good kind.
What is wrong with men?
At least its not a complicated
question.
Let me clear my calendar
for the next decade
and we can figure it out.
Do you have any idea what its
like to have an ovary full of
eggs
screaming "fertilize me?"
It adds a whole new dimension
to the misery of being single.
No, and I don't want to either.
In fact, I'd rather not discuss
it.
Being gay does not excuse you
from having to deal with this.
I'm pretty sure it does.
Besides,
I'm newly single now too.
Aw.
Soon it will be time for you and
Brody to be a couple, how sweet.
No!
And when did I tell you about
that?
If I know Brody,
he's probably forgotten all
about it.
Remind him.
And videotape his expression
when you do.
It'll be a good one.
I'm counting on Brody not
remembering our little plan.
Why?
He's a great catch, and so hot.
But he's not relationship
material.
What about the two of you
just fooling around?
I cannot understand how your
best
friend is a sexy cop and you
have
not hooked up yet.
Contrary to what you may think,
gay people don't all just sleep
with each other.
Really?
I didn't get that memo and
neither
did the rest of West Hollywood.
Brody is my friend.
You don't sleep with your
friends.
How is it that I've never heard
of any of these rules.
I swear you make them up
as you go along.
Well, Brody and I
don't see each other that way.
Don't tell me
that you're not his type.
Brody only has one type.
Facing down.
Ok, thanks.
Good chat.

Aw.
Great.
(FACETIME RINGING)
Hey Brody.
Someone's getting busy.
Huh?
Oh, wow, no.
Talk about incriminating
evidence.
I'm just cleaning up.
Everything is covered in lube.
That a boy!
It's not what it looks like.
What do you want Brody?
I just called to tell you
I went south of the border
and I'm not talking about
a little road trip to Tijuana.
I just made it with a
smoking hot Latino "Papi."
Dude, I don't know
what's gotten into me lately.
Probably about nine inches.
Quick.
Nice.
Well,
I was having a nice night by
myself.
I could tell.
Not that.
I cooked a terrific dinner,
read a good book, played cards.
I was about to get into this
big,
soft bed without some strange
guy
next to me, snoring and farting
his way through the night.
You sound miserable.
I am.
I'm going to find you
the perfect guy.
No, no.
I'm your best friend.
Who is more qualified than me to
find a guy for you?
Your argument is compelling,
and as always, disconcerting.
Trust me.
I've met a lot of great guys
over the years.
If I wasn't a confirmed
bachelor,
I would have scooped one up
myself.
But hey, my loss is your gain.
I'm going to find you a husband,
buddy.
You better get buckle up,
cause we're going on a manhunt.
I'll brace for impact.
Bye.
Hi, I'm Myles.
It's really nice to meet you.
Brody told me a lot about you.
I'm Stu.
It's so funny you picked this
place.
It's my favorite coffee shop...
and you bought me an eclair,
I love these.
Here's a double decaf soy latte,
too.
I like to do my research
before I meet someone.
When you say "you like to do
your
research before you meet
someone,"
What exactly do you mean by
that
I like to know who I'm meeting.
I just do a standard Google,
Facebook, LinkedIn search before
I
meet them.
You know, see if we're
compatible.
Find out what you're into.
So, you do this kind of
investigation
with every guy you go out
with
It helps me to come up with
some
things to talk about.
There's nothing worse than
meeting
a guy for the first time and
having nothing to talk about.
My research also helps me do
things like this...
It's your favorite flower.
I also know you played lacrosse
in high school.
You love to go camping and you
have a French Bulldog named
Doug.
Could you excuse me for one
moment?
I need to use the restroom.
Do you want me to order for
you?
Vanilla latte with extra foam,
extra hot.
Right?
Oh wow.
My sister just texted.
She swallowed a rusty nail.
I'm sorry, I'm going to have to
take her to the hospital.
Call me.
(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS. PHONE RINGS)
What's up?
Ok, I officially give up.
No more men.
Ok, let's start with the mildly
over-dramatic and work our way
back to the partially sane.
I'm like kryptonite to my
Superman.
I'll never find someone to love
me.
You're probably just
coming on too strong, buddy.
You just need to relax, get to
know someone, have a little fun.
So it is me?
It's not you.
Look, I'm just setting you up
with the wrong guys,
give me one more chance.
No.
I'm heading straight to the
kennel.
I'm going to pick out
a little white dog
and spend the rest of my days
alone.
Come on, one more chance.
One more date, I promise.
Ok.
I'll consider one more date,
under one condition.
It's non-negotiable.
What are your terms, counselor?
Will you come with?
Oh God.
I won't do this alone.
You pick out a date for me,
and I'll pick out someone for
you.
If you're there then you'll get
to
witness the disaster first hand.
It's like having box seats at a
NASCAR event where you know
there's going to be a multi-car
pile up before it's all over.
Well as long as you're going
into
it with such a positive
attitude.
Positive that I'm going to
end up alone again
at the end of the evening.
Bye.
I hope you like this place.
They have the best stuffed
mushrooms.
I love stuffed mushrooms.
I had them the last time I was
here,
when my date decided to ditch
me.
Oh, sorry.
Well,
Hopefully, tonight will be
better for you.
Here's to not being dumped
tonight.
Wow, sorry.
Myles can be a bit depressing.
Hence having the waiter remove
all
the sharp objects from the
table.
You're an asshole.
You don't recognize me, do you?
Grindr.
I tried to message you a couple
times,
but you never responded.
I'm sorry, I'm not really good
with technology.
I'm just a simple farm boy.
Oh yeah?
Where are you from?
New York.
How was the harvest in
Manhattan
this season?
I'm originally from Colombia.
My parents are farmers.
Organic coffee trade.
There's no such thing
as organic coffee.
I hear it's just a marketing
ploy
to drive up the cost of beans.
My family's in the coffee
business, too.
We sell espresso machines and
roasted beans...mostly organic.
What's your family name?
Fiori.
I've heard that name before.
I think my family supplies your
coffee beans.
Get out of here.
I'm serious.
I'm a total coffee whore.
A double decaf latte, extra
soy,
extra foam, extra hot.
You don't want to know what I'd
do for one of those before work
in the morning.
And you said it was just a
little
vanilla froth on the corner of
your mouth the other day.
Hey, what goes on between my
barista and I is my business.
Do you know Vincent?
Vincent Fiori.
He's only my brother!
Are you serious?
Yes.
What an awesome guy.
Yeah, Vincent's been trying to
get
me to travel with him for
years...
I think he's even told me
about your farm.
No way.
Yes.
We have one thousand acres of
the
lushest farmland you've ever
seen.
So how about them Dodgers?
I don't follow sports.
Sports are what straight guys
talk about when they have
nothing
better to say, come on!
Yeah, right.
I'm starting to regret having
the
waiter remove those sharp
objects
from the table.
Yeah, I know.
Give me a minute and I'll forge
a
shiv out of a breadstick.
Do you think they'll notice if
we left?
I've always wanted to be the guy
that leaves.
Myles.
That is a horrible thing to do
to your date.
I know, you're right.
I'm sorry.
I didn't say we shouldn't do
it.
I just said it was a horrible
thing to do.
Which makes it so much fun!
Excuse me.
I'm going to go too.
"Fiori."
Well that went predictably bad.
I'll give you that much.
Tonight needs to end
with a stiff drink.
Scotch?
No, I got a big meeting
tomorrow.
Come on, hang out, chill.
You don't have to rush home
to Jeff Stryker.
Jeff Stryker?
Oh, the dildo?
Here.
You know I can send my cleaning
lady over if you want.
She's only seventy-five bucks a
visit.
She'll bring her own napalm.
Hey, I made a path to the
couch.
That counts for something,
right?
You need someone
to take care of you.
No, I need to hire a maid.
Everyone needs someone.
Even you.
What are you afraid of?
Of being nagged to death about
being single.
We need to get you a man.
Give me your phone.
Alright, take your shirt off.
What?
Take your shirt off.
No.
You're not putting half naked
pictures of me up on the
internet.
No way
It's not the internet.
It's an app and everyone does
it.
Look, you need to try something
different for a change.
No.
How do you do it?
Very well and often on all
fours.
Trust me,
it is better than being alone.
I'm really not comfortable with
this.
It's all about advertising.
If you want to catch a fish,
you've got to show him your
worm.
No one is seeing my "worm",
and the shirt stays on.
It's non-negotiable.
Fine.
Leave the shirt on.
Now smile and say,
"I'm a bad little boy
who's looking for a sexy daddy."
"Cheese"
"Cheese" will do.
Look at that!
Oh my god.
It's beautiful.
No its not.
It's awful, delete it.
No way.
I've got to delete this.
(BEEP)
Wow, ok.
(BEEP)
Wow.
(BEEP)
Now?

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Cute.
I like the "Abercrombie meets
Log-Cabin-Republican" thing
you've got going on.
I have to tell you I've never
done this kind of thing before.
And what kind of thing is that?
Meet up with a guy I don't know
in the middle of the night.
And what do you think so far?
I'm nervous.
How adorable.
You want to come in?
You're not going to kill me,
are you?
Do you really think that
someone
who is planning on killing you,
is going to answer that question
with a yes?
Feel like taking your chances?
I wasn't planning on revealing
I was this neurotic until much
later.
The cat's out of the bag now.
Offer still stands.
Can I get you a drink?
I've got whiskey, beer, vodka.
I'm fine.
Hit?
No, I'm good.
You mind?
No.
Are you sure?
No, I'm fine.
So what happens now?
Whatever you want.
I don't bite...very hard a
first.
Sure I can't change your mind
about that drink?
Make it a double.
(FACETIME RINGING)
What's up, buddy?
Hey, I took your advice.
Where are you
I'm at this
seriously hot guy's house.
Don't even say you did it,
I will not believe you.
This is, so hot.
Where are you
His name is Hunter.
Yeah, I'm sure it is.
Shh.
Here he comes.
I gotta go; I'll call you later.
Hey, wait...
Was that your backup plan?
Oh, no it's just my buddy.
He always calls me
when he meets a hot guy so...
I just called him.
(PHONE RINGING)
I'm flattered.
I'm sorry.
You can get it if you want.
One second.
What do you want?
What are you doing?
I'm taking your advice.
My advice?
Yeah, meet people and have fun.
Look, I gotta go.
I don't want to be rude.
I'll call you later.
Hey wait.
No, I'll call you later.
That was ridiculous I know.
Now I'm embarrassed.
No.
Don't worry, it was sweet.
Well if there's no one else
you'd like to ring up at
midnight,
are you ready
to get to know each other?
Do you mind
if we just hang out tonight?
Oh.
Okay - no worries.
I'm down with whatever.
You sure?
Yeah, that's fine.
I just assumed
that was what you wanted.
I'm not really like that.
Me neither.
I'm really just a simple,
romantic homebody.
I'm good with just
hanging out tonight.
That's very cool of you.
You just seem like
a really great guy.
I do.
You know...if you want to put
your hand on my leg again,
I won't freak out, I promise.

(OFFICE SOUNDS. PHONES RINGING)
(MORNING SOUNDS. BIRDS CHIRPING)
Aww.
How Sweet.
Well that was certainly hot.
I needed that.
Apparently several times.
Listen, I need to go,
I have class.
Oh.
What are you studying?
It's an aerobics class.
Oh.
Is it tough?
It's actually quite fun.
No.
I mean getting back to the
1980's
when they actually taught
aerobics.
It's coming back, I'll have you
know.
I'll have to remember to tell
my
leg warmers that.
What are leg warmers?
You're kidding, right?
No, and unfortunately I don't
have time to find out.
I need to leave,
I have to be there at eleven.
Oh my god!
It's eleven?!
(PHONE RINGING)
Hey, what happened to you?
You never called me back last
night.
It's Diane.
Brody, do you know where Myles
is?
Well did you try him at home?
It's a wonder
you're not a detective yet.
Uh.
I don't know.
I haven't seen him since last
night.
Well, he had a client meeting
on the books at 9:30
and he missed it.
Ok.
Let me go check in on him.
I'll get back to you in ten
minutes.
Thank you.
Myles.
Are you in there?
Don't you have a key?
Why would I need a key?
Is there a problem officers?
No sir.
We're just responding to a call.
Do you know Myles?
I do.
Quiet gentleman, but nice.
Always a hello in the hallway.
Raised right.
Smells good too.
What did he do?
He didn't do anything.
We're just checking in on him.
Did you happen to see him last
night?
Nope.
Don't think he came home
or I would have heard him.
I hear everything.
Even with this bad ear,
I catch it all.
Let me know if you need my help.
I'm a vigilante you know.
I think we've got it covered.
But, thank you for your help.
Anything for officers of the
law.
Keep up the good work boys.
Myles.
Myles you here
Myles?
Myles?
Wow.
Who is his roommate, Mr. Clean?
A carafe?
Silver shaker?
Who does he entertain here?
James Bond?
When blockbuster runs out of
DVD's to rent, do they come here
and borrow a few from Myles?
Ok.
Enough with the running
commentary, can you just see if
you can find something please.
Like what, dust?
Good luck with that.
Come on.
He never came home last night.
I'm sure he's fine.
Yeah.
Famous last words before they
find
his body in a dumpster.
Look, we need to put an APB out
and get more eyes out there
looking for him now.
Before we sound the alarm,
let's stop by his office
and see what we can find.
Relax.
It'll be fine.
Just one quick stop, okay?
Ok.
There you are!
Thanks for covering...
Wait a second.
Why do you look like this?
Is this a walk of shame?
I'm not ashamed of anything.
Well, you obviously didn't do it
right.
I wouldn't be so sure about
that.
Ok.
I want to hear everything,
and it better be filthy.
Phone numbers, names,
descriptions.
Is video asking too much?
A gentleman never kisses and
tells.
A gentleman who doesn't tell is
asking for a beating.
Ok.
But only because I'm afraid of
you
right now.
Wait, hold that thought.
Before you start, I have to call
Brody
and have him call off the SWAteam he's going to send after
you.
(PHONE RINGING)
I was just calling you.
See?
I told you he was fine.
Has he been here the whole time?
He just got here.
Hence me trying to call you.
Hey, I'm standing right here.
Diane called, said you didn't
come into work.
She made us all nervous.
I just came in a little late.
You really didn't have to call
Brody.
Don't blame me, it's my
maternal
instincts - I'm a slave to them.
Suddenly this day has just
taken
a turn for the better.
Hello, my name is Diane.
I hope you enjoy the softer
of the two sexes.
Hi.
I'm officer Garcia...and I do.
Where were you?
I thought something happened.
Something did.
He was just about to tell me
all
the sordid details.
I'm dying to hear them.
I have a feeling that most of
them
are filthy.
Well, I can't right now.
I've got a ton of work
to catch up on.
So if you'd excuse me.
Are you serious?
Is he serious?
Look, could you give us a
minute?
You take all the time you need.
You.
Come with me.
Ok.
What were you doing?
What were you thinking, going to
some strangers house in the
middle
of the night for a hook up?
It was your idea.
I'm trying new things.
Plus, you do it all the time.
I'm different than you.
How?
I'm a cop.
I can defend myself, unlike
you...
Oh please.
Myles.
I know guys,
some of them are real creeps.
I see what people are capable
of.
I appreciate your concern.
Really, I do.
But I can take care of myself,
thank you.
Really?
Like the time those girls scouts
talked you into buying a dozen
boxes of cookies?
That wasn't my fault.
There were four of them and only
one of me.
So do you have a first name,
Officer Garcia?
It's Richard.
As in...?
Yes, Richard.
Uh huh.
I can see that you're
packing a lot of equipment.
Well, we're outfitted with the
proper gear to handle any
situation.
I can see that.
Look, I've got to get to work.
Can we fight about this later?
Maybe, if I'm not too
busy...dad
So what does a girl have to do
to
get her hands on your
nightstick
Well, it's actually bigger than
it looks.
If you...
Let's go.
It's nice meeting you.
You too.
(mouthing) Oh My God!
So, what's the deal with
Diane?
I know.
I'm sorry you got stuck with
her.
She is a psycho.
I felt like a piece of meat for
her to chew on and spit out.
How awesome is that?
Wait.
What
"Muy Caliente"
Diane?
As in, you and Diane?
No, No, No.
That is a bad idea.
The two of you could not be
more...
different.
Friction is what makes the
heat,
my friend.
Besides, I'm packing...
and I carry a gun.
Let's leave the bad sexual puns
to me.
So, what happened with Myles?
He went home
with some guy last night.
That's great.
Your plan worked.
Yeah.
I guess it did, right?
You should be happy;
you're off the hook.
Beers on me.
You pick the place.
Deal.

He clearly doesn't know
I carry a gun.
Great.
Now he's going to like me
that much more!
I have gone to plenty of titty
bars with you.
You can get your gogo on with
me.
In that case,
I need another drink.
Here, oh...
Hey! What the hell?
I'm sorry.
You just caught me off guard.
I was going to warn you about
that.
No you weren't.
They're called mouth shots
for a reason.
What the hell other kind of
shots
are there?
Don't answer that.
Alright, I gotta run.
Where are you going?
I told Diane I'd meet up with
her
after she got off work.
Don't forget your handcuffs.

(PHONE BUZZING)
Someone's having WWF Smackdown,
screaming until your neighbors
bang on the wall-style sex.
It shows?
I'm talking about myself and my
spicy Latino lover.
You and Richard?
It's kind of like a spin class
-
hot and sweaty, but with
handcuffs, a nightstick and...
pepper spray.
Ok, pepper spray is too much.
How are you and Hunter doing?
Judging by the recent playlist
of
eighties love songs,
I'd say it's going pretty well.
You really are an Easy Bake Oven
away
from being a twelve year old
girl,
aren't you?
Bye love.
You ok partner?
I took the new recruits out last
night,
to O'Malley's.
I don't know which is worse.
The gay bars or the Irish ones.
I guess it depends
on what you're looking for
at the end of the rainbow.
At this point I would settle
for
a well hung Leprechaun.
That's why I'm glad
I'm dating again.
I'm in bed by 10 pm.
If I'm ever in bed by ten,
put a bullet in me.
I'm telling you, these past two
weeks have been great
and the sex with Diane is
amazing.
Which reminds me,
I need some more pepper spray.
I'm not going to ask, besides,
the image of Diane having sex is
not something I want
stuck in my head all day.
Really?
Because I do.
Speaking of which, it's been
two
weeks for Myles and his
boyfriend.
I know because I'm patiently
waiting
for him to get dumped again.
That's the kind of postive,
healthy
support a best friend deserves.
Hey, I'm just waiting in the
wings
like I always do for when he
gets
his heart broken again.
Face it.
You miss him.
You don't know what you're
talking about.
If you say so, but I do know
this:
if he were my friend and I
missed him,
I'd grab a couple of beers,
some Chinese food
and go over to his place after
work.
Well, you're not me
and I don't need your advice.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Come in.
Oh hey.
Brody.
I thought it would be nice
if I surprised you with dinner.
That's actually a really nice
surprise,
but I already have plans.
I can see you have plans.
Are you having Liberace over
for dinner?
What is this?
It's Hunter's first time
coming over tonight.
I wanted to do something
special.
Well, we can do something
another night.
You know you don't have to go.
You could join us if you want.
Don't be ridiculous.
You know I don't do threesomes.
Since when?
It's too much, isn't it.
What?
No it's ridiculous and
over-the-top,
but it's you and that's what I
think is so nice about it.
Other guys may find it
terrifying,
but I think it's wonderful.
You like that about me?
What that you're a psycho?
Yes, it makes me feel more
normal.
Look finish getting ready and
we'll do something tomorrow.
Happy hour?
See you tomorrow.
Later!
(PHONE BEEPS)
Hello Stone.
I'll see you in five minutes.
Hey Brody.
Stone.
Come on in, have a drink.
I can see you've done this
before.
Maybe once or twice.
So, how do you want to do this?
Quickly.
I have dinner in an hour.
I'm fine with being an
appetizer.
Just so you know,
you're going to be late for
dessert.
Fine by me.
(PHONE BUZZING)
Ignore it.
It's probably my date tonight.
He's obsessive compulsive.
How annoying.
I know, right?
I'm sorry, I can't.
Just get it.
I'll send it to voicemail.
Oh!! Please tell me
your name is not Hunter.
No, of course it's not.
Thank god.
Hunter's my hook-up name,
like "Stone".
Oh, Fuck me!
Sure, if you want me to be on
top.
No.
As in God-damn it.
What's the problem?
Oh Man, I really wanted you to
turn out to be a good guy.
I am a good guy.
Well,
maybe not marriage material,
but...
I gotta go.
Dude, chill out!
This is not a big deal.
Actually it is.
Myles is my best friend
and he's going to freak out
when he finds out
that I hooked up with his
boyfriend.
Boyfriend?
We're not boyfriends.
Myles is a nice guy
and a decent lay,
but that's about where it ends.
Don't make me knock you out.
Hey, you're in my house,
remember?
Ok, look.
This is how this is going to go.
You go have dinner with Myles
and
you don't say anything about
this.
This never happened.
You know what,
I really think you should leave.
I'm serious, now!
I'm not done here.
Yeah you are,
and if you don't leave I'll call
the cops.
I'm a cop.
Yeah.
Well if that's the case,
then I'll just call Myles
and tell him I hooked up
with his best friend...the cop.
Ok, calm down.
I'll go, but I need you to
promise
that you're not going to be an
asshole to Myles, ok?
Just go have dinner with him,
don't say anything about this.
I am asking you nicely.
See?
Now you're being a good boy.
Just so you know,
I'll do what I want.
And I'll start with throwing you
out.
Got it?
I got it.
Good.
I'm glad we're on the same page
again.
Now leave!
Asshole.
Asshole.
(PHONE BEEPS)
(PHONE RINGING)
Hey Myles.
Hunter broke up with me.
Awe.
I'm so sorry, Myles.
Could you come over?
Death by chocolate?
Death by homemade tiramisu.
I'll be right there.
One day, you are going to find a
guy
who see's what a great catch you
are.
You are going to make someone
the best husband.
What about you?
I am not a catch.
Well that's not true.
Yes, it is.
Look, I'm not like you.
Anybody who would pass up an
amazing evening like this,
with you, is a fool.
Well, I'm obviously doing
something wrong.
You have lousy taste in men.
Take Hunter...
Let's not talk about him.
I think we should...
I really don't want to.
Let me finish.
Anybody who would break up with
you in a text is a creep
and not worth your time.
You think I don't know that?
I didn't even text him back.
I'm sick of being mistreated
by asshole guys
who don't appreciate me.
Good for you Myles.
Now, can we just move on?
Let's just enjoy the fact that
we're hanging out together.
Yes.
Let's make tonight about this
amazing tiramisu that you made.
- And us.
- And us.
So, run this by me one more
time.
Why didn't you tell him what
happened the other night?
I just couldn't.
If you knew Myles and how upset
it
would make him, trust me,
you wouldn't have told him
either.
Actually, yes, I would have.
Myles can't handle these
things.
He's a grown man.
Yeah, on the outside maybe but
on
the inside he's all...Hello
Kitty.
He's never going to find out.
That's not how it works.
Trust me, they always find out.
And even if they don't, you'll
always think in the back of your
head that they know something,
but just aren't saying anything.
Does someone have a little
baggage from a past relationship
they want to talk about?
Let's just say, I had to learn
the hard way.
Fine.
I'll talk to him tonight.
Ok?
Alright.

How you doing?
I liked him.
He was a great guy.
He wasn't that great.
Hi Brody... Martini?
No thanks.
I'm probably just going to get
it
thrown in my face.
What did you do?
Can I just start off by saying
that it was not my fault.
That is the worst way
to start a conversation.
That's like saying,
"I know this looks bad", or,
"This is just going to hurt a
little bit."
I can tell already,
this is not going to end well.
I've known you for over ten
years.
Nothing you say is going to
bother me or surprise me
anymore.
So just tell me.
I ran Hunter's ID down at the
station.
His real name is Steven Adams.
He's from Nebraska.
Well, I know where he's from.
I didn't know his name wasn't
Hunter.
Yeah and it's not Stone either.
That's my point.
What's the point?
And who is Stone?
Exactly!
Neither of us knew his real
name.
Just tell me what happened.
After I left your place the
other night,
I went on Grindr to meet
someone.
You hooked up with Hunter?
I didn't know it was him!
He said his name was Stone.
I mean, who uses that name
anyway.
He texted me on Grindr,
I went over there.
I did not know what I was doing
was wrong.
I would never do that to you.
You suck.
How was I supposed to know?
It's not like you introduced me
to the guy.
You're the one that ruined this
for me.
I met a great guy and you just
couldn't stand it, could you?
He is not a great guy, believe
me.
Certainly not the Prince
Charming
you think he is.
Trust me, Hunter is a creep.
Trust you?
Think about it Myles.
It's always the same with with
you.
You bring this on yourself.
You keep thinking that one guy
is
going to be exactly what you
need
to be happy.
It is not the case, never will
be.
Well, sadly that's true isn't
it?
You're right, things have got to
change.
I gotta to go,
sorry I can't do this anymore.
Wait, what?
One martini. Dirty.
Myles.
Myles.
Look at this guy.
He didn't even attempt to slow
down when he saw us.
So light him up!
He was only going forty.
He's speeding right in front of
us.
People need to learn to respect
authority.
Light him up!
It's not a big deal.
I said, let's get them!
So now you're that asshole cop
who
chases down an '87 Corolla for
going
fifteen miles over the speed
limit?
Yes.
You really need to straighten
this thing out with Myles.
I've tried calling, texting,
emailing him.
He obviously doesn't want
to talk to me.
I may not be the smartest guy in
the
world but I can take a hint when
someone doesn't want to see me.
You have to go over there
and work this out.
Knock his door down if you have
to.
He doesn't want to talk to me.
You're a cop for Christ's sake.
Pull your balls out of your ass
and man up.
You miss him.
Make it right.
Fine.
Myles, open up.
Myles, come on, open up.
I need you to open up,
just talk to me.
Knock one more time and I'm
calling the cops.
Officer.
Under-cover, huh?
A sting operation.
I get it.
Still after Myles?
Have you seen him?
Nope.
What did he do?
He didn't do anything.
It's always the quiet ones.
I knew he was a bad seed.
That isn't the case, sir.
Of course you can't say
anything.
I know what's going on.
I just hope you get the
son-of-a bitch!
Myles.
Come on.
Myles.

Pizza, wings and beer.
Who needs men?
We'll have more fun without
them.
No we won't.
You're right.
I'll try not to bitch about
how much men suck tonight.
Why?
It's my favorite subject.
Luckily for you I have the
perfect
evening planned.
Comfort food, ice cream and...
a romantic movie.
I love that we are doing this.
I do it every day.
What about RIchard?
Are you kidding?
It's his favorite thing.
Two bowls of pistachio froyo,
twin snuggies and a romantic
movie.
We cry all night long.
Lucky bitch.
I know.
Diane, I need to tell you
something.
Please don't be upset.
Any conversation that begins
with,
"please don't be upset", upsets
me.
I need to start fresh.
Get somewhere far away from
here.
You're moving to the Valley?
No, I'm thinking of
transferring
to the New York office.
There's a job opening there
for a senior litigator
that starts next week.
I know you're not going
to agree with this...
You want to leave
and move to New York?
We both know I should go.
Actually, we don't.
I think you're running away
from your problems.
Please don't make this any
harder
for me than it already is.
I really need to do this.
No you don't!
It's an irrational, impetuous
and
totally emotionally clouded
decision.
I need to break this cycle and
I
can't do it from Los Angeles.
Fine.
I'll concede.
But only under one condition.
Let the negotiations begin.
You have to let me have a going
away party for you this weekend.
Absolutely not.
No party.
Just a few friends over for
drinks at my place?
No more than six.
Deal.
So how are you going to tell
Brody that you're moving to the
other side of the country?
I don't know yet.
I could have Richard do it.
Brody.
And to think he's a cop.
(TELEVISION SOUNDS)
If you were a horse.
I'd be obliged to put you down.
What time is it?
Am I late?
Let's just say you're early for
lunch.
Why don't you get in the shower?
So, how long is this going to go
on?
Just give me five minutes
to take a shower, ok?
Not the shower.
The self-pity and depression.
It's been every night this week.
Hey, I've finally found
something
I'm good at.
Why quit when I've almost
mastered it?
Well, since you're already
down,
I've got something else for you.
It's an invitation.
From who?
Diane.
She's having a few people over.
Is Myles going to be there?
Yep.
This is the perfect opportunity
for
me to smooth things out with
Myles.
In theory.
Was this Diane's idea?
Absolutely.
So you'll come?
Hell yeah.
Now I got something to look
forward to.
Me too.

I kept it small like you
wanted.
I asked you not to do anything.
This was my compromise.
I'll miss you.
I'm well aware.
I still can't believe you're
doing this.
Five days on the open road will
do me good.
Wait until you hit Nevada.
You're going to regret that
decision
all the way to the Statue of
Liberty.
Brody's here.
I'll be in the bomb shelter
if anyone's needs me.
Oh no, you're not going
anywhere.
We need someone
who can operate a handgun.
Hey!
Thank you so much for inviting
me.
It's good to see you.
So, what's the occasion?
You got a promotion, right?
Richard, will you help me dear?
Oh, and bring a shovel.
Would you excuse us?
He's going to be very busy
digging
a six by three foot hole out
back.
What was that about?
It's just that this isn't
exactly
a party for my promotion.
So, you didn't get a promotion?
I technically did, I guess you
could say that.
Well, congrats!
It's also a going away party.
For who?
Oh, you're leaving.
Where? When?
I head out on Saturday morning.
Drive across country to New
York.
Saturday to New York and this
is
how you tell me?
Well Richard was going to tell
you.
You asked Richard to tell me?
Diane did.
How could you leave and not say
anything to me?
I haven't left yet.
Yeah, but you're planning on it
Myles.
Why?
Because I don't have a reason
to stay anymore.
I'm not a good enough reason?
You tell me, Brody.
If this is about the Hunter
thing,
I told you I did not mean
to mess it up for you.
I was just trying to protect
you.
I know that
and I'm not mad about it
anymore.
I'm the reason I need to leave.
I need to grow up and stop
looking for
my Prince Charming to come and
save me.
That is what I've been telling
you the whole time.
Well then, I agree with you.
So you think that going to New
York
is what's going to make you
happy.
It's a start.
Well then, I guess that's that.
I guess so.

(PHONE BEEPS)
Can I get you another?
No.
I'm good, thanks.
I'm mad at you.
I know,
but being that I'm your only
friend now
and your partner at work,
I think you're going to have to
get over it pretty quickly.
You knew that was a going away
party.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you,
but I figured you deserved
to hear it directly from Myles.
Plus, if I had told you, you
wouldn't have come to say
goodbye.
You don't know me.
It's like we never even met.
You know, he's right?
It is better for both of us
if he just leaves.
Well, you certainly know what's
best.
I'm not like Myles,
I don't need anyone.
It's true.
You're not miserable at all
when he's gone.
Myles is a hopeless romantic.
All he wants is someone to love
him.
Yeah, so unreasonable.
Plus, he's a people pleaser.
All he cares about is the guy
he's with.
That's horrible.
I can see why guys would hate
that.
Myles is like a penguin.
He will bond to you,
he's dependable and trustworthy.
I'm really starting to hate that
guy.
I mean, could you imagine if
Myles and I were together.
Not at all.
It's crazy to think that two
people who care about each other
as much as you two do would
ever,
ever want to be in a
relationship.
I know, right? I mean,
if Myles were the perfect guy
for me,
I would have realized that years
ago.
Absolutely.
I mean there is no way you'd
overlook
something so obvious for so
long.
Exactly.
Myles just wants to be married.
And all I want is for him to be
happy.
Then I guess the only way
for that to happen
is to remove you from his life.
Yeah, I guess.

To Brody.
I hope you find someone to love
you.
I hope you find someone to
love.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered
here today to bear witness to
the
matrimony of these two men.
This is a relationship that
stands
for love and loyalty.
This is a relationship that
stands for honesty and trust.
But most importantly,
this is a relationship
that stands for friendship.
Because before they were
lovers,
they were friends,
and it is this seed of
friendship
that love was their destiny.
One cannot dictate or determine
the course of love.
For if love finds you worthy,
then love directs you.
It is this sacred and holy
estate
which you enter into as one.
And if there is anyone who has
just cause why these two should
not
join as one, let him speak now
or forever hold his peace.
Do you take this man to love,
honor and comfort,
and keep in sickness and in
health,
in sadness and in joy,
and cherish and bestow upon him
your deepest devotion,
for as long as you both shall
live?
I do.
Then, by the power vested in
me,
I now pronounce you
husband and husband.
You may now kiss your groom.

Come on! Are you kidding me?
Oh... I can't.
Come on, Come on, Come on!
Myles, are you in there?
Myles, are you in there?
Myles!
Myles!
What are you god-damned kids
up to now?
I'm sorry to disturb you, sir.
I'm sorry officer,
I didn't realize it was you.
Still haven't caught him yet?
Have you seen him today?
Saw him this morning.
He woke me up making a ruckus.
I went back to sleep.
Which I never do by the way.
Damn Sciatica kept me up all
night.
I got one of these dial
mattresses.
I changed it from a four to a
six,
I thought that might help.
I slept better on my old Sealy.
You think they'd let me
take this one back?
It's only been six weeks.
I really have to get to Myles,
so if you know where he is.
Gone now.
I guess you missed him.
Yeah. I guess I did.
You're gonna go after him,
aren't you?
He's not a criminal.
I know that.
I'm not blind and stupid.
You obviously love him.
I do.
Then go after him!
Don't make the same mistake I
did
and end up like me.
Trust me.
Don't just stand there,
go get him!
He's going to New York.
I don't know where he is.
I'm not going to catch up to
him.
You've got a cop car don't you?
Light up that son-of-a bitch.
I've seen them go
two-hundred miles an hour.
Tear ass down that freeway!
Don't let him get away.
Ok. Ok.
Crazy kids.
(POLICE SIREN)
I'm sorry for getting you
out of bed so early for this.
Who needs sleep on a Saturday
morning?
Besides, this is fun.
It's just like those movies
Diane
makes me watch.
I have to catch up to Myles
before it's too late.
Do me a favor,
call him and see where he is.
No way!
That is not how's its done.
Myles is a romantic.
We have to catch up with him.
It's the element of surprise
that
will win him back.
Yeah, and what if we don't make
it
there in time?
Trust me on this one.
I know how it's done.
You always get the guy in the
end.
Calling doesn't seem like such
a
bad idea now, does it?
It always works in the movies.
So what now?
I don't know.
It usually doesn't turn out this
way.
I'm too late, aren't I?
Might as well head back.
I know you have plans with
Diane.
Let me call her and let her
know
I'll be a little late.
I'll be in the car.
(PHONE BUZZING)
This better not be an,
"I can't make it today" call.
No, no, I'll be there.
Small emergency.
I'll just be a little late.
Well hurry, so you can start
making it up to me.
And don't forget your uniform -
especially the night stick.
Bye.
Richard's going to be a little
bit late.
Keep me company for just a bit
more?
I've got three thousand miles
ahead of me
and now all I'm going to be able
to think about is you and
Richard
playing "cops and robbers".
You should see me trying to
resist arrest.
I really need to go.
I just wanted to help you clean
up
and say goodbye.
Let's have a mimosa for the
road.
No one should drive into the
middle of this country without
at least one drink in them.
You're awful.
I know.
Are you sure you don't want to
join us for brunch?
You know a gay guy is tired
when
he turns down brunch.
I had a bad night and a crappy
morning.
Bottomless drinks.
I have a feeling you'll get your
money's worth today.
I really don't feel like being
around people.
Especially those in love.
Where the hell have you two
been?
And you brought the squad car.
Nice touch.
We drove to Nevada this
morning.
We're trying to catch up with
Myles.
Nevada?
Why are you trying to catch up
with Myles?
Brody wants to talk to him.
He doesn't want him to leave.
Well, you just missed him.
Obviously.
You and your detective skills.
I mean he was just here,
he left a minute ago.
Hey, we can still catch him!
You can't call him.
That's not the way it works.
I know.
I've been trying to tell him
that.
(PHONE BUZZING)

I just can't.
Straight to voicemail.

He's right there.
Go! Go!
Are you crazy?!
Move!
Are you kidding me?!
Stop!
Get out of my way.
I need to leave.
Myles.
No, let me go.
Move!
Why are you all doing this to
me?
There's nothing you can do
to make me stay.
Was that supposed to change my
mind?
That was the idea.
It didn't.
I can't do this with you
anymore.
I've got to do what's right for
me now,
and that's getting away from
you.
You may not need someone,
but you deserve someone.
And I want to be that person.
You're not capable of having a
relationship.
What have we been doing
the last ten years?
I may not be the Prince Charming
that you imagine, but
you know I would slay a dragon
for you.
It's not enough, Brody.
What else is there?
Trust, love,
companionship, respect.
We don't have all those things
Well then, I'll guess I'll have
to
make this easy for you.
Cause you don't have a choice.
I'm sorry, what?
I'm glad you're here because I
need a lawyer.
Would you please tell me
if this is still legally
binding?
I charge seven-hundred dollars
an hour.
Fine, I'll do it pro-bono.
Let me see it.
I'm sorry, it's not legally
binding.
It states that this becomes
effective on Myles' birthday.
Unfortunately, that's not until
tomorrow.
I guess we'll just have to wait
twelve hours.
We can put him under house
arrest
until the contract is due.
I can leave this perp in your
custody.
The law is the law.
I'm so glad that everybody's
made
the decision about what I should
do.
Does anybody want to know what I
think?
Yes, of course.
I think after waiting ten
years,
I deserve a proper kiss.

(FACETIME RINGING)
You're calling me why?
Well, I always call you
after I hook up with a hot guy.
How was it?
Let me put it like this:
I'm gonna have to call you back.
Cause I'm about to do it again.
It was that good?
Oh yeah.
And by the way,
Happy Birthday Myles.
It certainly is.