The 12 Dates of Christmas (2026) Movie Script

Merry Christmas.
Have the bestest Christmas ever.
Okay, it's all clear.
You can come out now.
Coming.
Thanks, Moll.
Oh, wow. That's gorge.
Yeah. I never would
have finished in time
and dealt
with last minute shoppers.
- Thank you.
- What happened to you?
You look like you had a fight
with Aisle 5 at Home Depot.
Well, restoring furniture
is a messy job,
but someone's gotta do it.
Go take a hot shower.
You look like
you really need it.
Yeah, I do. God.
Christmas Eve with my family
used to be my favorite night
of the year,
and now it just gives me hives.
That's the best part
of family dinners.
It's a great mixture
of love and stress.
- Mm.
- It's exhilarating.
- And it begins.
- What now?
My mother reminding me
to be on time to get a gift
for my sister's boyfriend
and we've got a link.
- Oh.
- Shall we?
- We shall.
- Oh, it's an article.
It says, What's Wrong With
Single Women In Their 30s?
There's nothing wrong with you.
- I know.
- Good.
- Right?
- Right.
Don't take what she sends you
so seriously.
You're right. Absolutely right.
Okay. Go home.
I'm gonna shower.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
I love you.
- Okay. Get out of here.
- Yeah. Okay.
- Bye.
- Thank you.
Of course.
I can do this.
Yeah, I can do this.
Uh...
Hello?
Whoa!
- No!
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Uh, um... are you okay?
Yeah. I don't have any money.
No. No,
I don't want your money.
Uh, um... I'm gonna let you go...
- Okay.
- Right now. Sorry.
I didn't mean to scare you,
but you realize your parking lot
is behind the building.
- That's why I came in here.
- Yeah.
Makes sense.
I'm just here to meet somebody.
I know you.
- Yeah. Yeah, you do.
- Yeah.
Peter Grant?
Christina Walker.
- Yeah, wow. This is a
- Wow.
Blast from the past.
Okay, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
Just wait a second.
Okay. Look, there they are.
- I think we need to get that.
- Do I have to?
I have an appointment.
- God. I tried to stop her.
- Said...
You didnt try hard enough.
- I know.
- Hi.
You can save me.
That's a cute look.
Thanks. Ive just been working
downstairs all day.
Yeah, I can tell.
- Peter?
- Yes.
- Oh, you're here already.
- I made it.
I love it.
Christina,
you remember Peter Grant?
- Peter Grant.
- Yes.
Right. Yes, we were
just getting reacquainted.
Yes, very reacquainted.
Love a reunion.
Sure. Um, okay.
So what do you have
that is fun, trendy,
and would make
the perfect Christmas present?
Yes, you should check out
the Bodycology display.
You can't really go wrong.
Molly, would you?
- Must I?
- Yes, you must.
Oh, okay.
Well, come on, lady.
Calculus. That was it.
- It was calculus, right?
- Calculus.
- We were, yes.
- Uh, yeah, I think...
I think you're right.
Wow, that's been so long ago.
Yeah. And also... oh, wait, no.
You dated my friend Noah, right?
Noah. Oh, yeah.
- Don't remind me.
- Sorry.
If I remember correctly,
which I usually do, you dated...
Melinda
for a week
and then she dumped me.
Yeah. I remember that.
I also remember you being
surprisingly good at calculus.
Surprisingly.
I mean, it's not like it's ever
really helped me in anything,
- not even in finance.
- That's not true.
I've heard you've done
very well for yourself.
Okay. Well, it also looks like
you've done pretty well
yourself.
- Yeah. Oh.
- Well, I love this.
- Okay.
- Peter, you must smell it.
- It smells divine.
- Oh, okay.
Christina, can you wrap
that up for us, please?
I would love to. Yes.
- Thank you.
- Can I eat that?
That smells amazing.
Oh, I'm sorry. This is work.
I gotta take it.
Hi.
So, what do you think?
Think about what?
About him. Peter.
I don't know.
I wasn't really
thinking anything.
Was I supposed
to be thinking something?
Ugh. An investment banker
and loves animals
and smells great
and most importantly is single.
Amazeballs.
Amazeballs?
Yeah, it's what the kids say.
What kids?
You know, the kids.
It's what they say.
Hm. Yeah, I'd rethink that one
before using that word again.
Okay, well, the word you should
be focusing on is single.
I just ran into him
on the street and I had no idea,
and now he's coming
to my Christmas Eve dinner.
Single no more.
Wow, that was fast.
Was it? I don't think it was.
- Um...
- All right, I get it.
Yes, it will be
. Bye.
I am so sorry about that.
Some people are not aware
- that it is Christmas Eve.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Oh, don't worry about that.
Christina, you can put that
on my account.
I mean, it is for my family
after all.
Sure, no problem.
You are better
than all the little elves.
That's why they call me
Santa's little helper.
Who does?
The kids?
Oh.
Well, I love Christmas and you.
Let's just...
- Okay.
- Oh, you know what?
Maybe we'll hug later, okay?
Okay. Toodles.
- Bye.
- Okay.
- Oh, Peter, come on.
- Yes.
It was great running
into you again.
Yeah, you too. Literally.
- Yeah. Literally.
- Sorry about that.
- Peter.
- Dont worry.
- Okay, but maybe...
- Bye.
Ill... have fun.
- You too. Bye.
- Okay.
Bye.
Mm. Me likey him,
and me thinks he likey you.
Okay, Doctor Seuss, slow down.
Okay, Grinch. Whatever.
Well, he's with Bridget.
Doesn't seem like it.
Okay, we gotta go.
- We're late. You're late.
- I cant think why.
Merry, merry, merry Christmas.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Lock the door this time, please.
Oh, extra work.
Right.
Let the festivities begin.
All right. Oh, God
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
I can do this. Its just dinner.
Hello? Sorry I'm late.
Frank, you're
not slicing fast enough.
- Its fast as I can.
- A little help here, please.
Its fast as I can.
Im not a machine.
- Thank you.
- Okay, yes.
Hi, Dad.
Is that my Christina?
Oh, were you expecting
someone else, Mom?
No. Oh, I can't tell
if you're skin and bones
under this coat
- or if you gained some weight.
- Oh.
It's good to see you too, Mom.
- So sweet.
- Okay.
Dont look so distressed.
She does it to all of us.
Oh, you're such a gentleman.
As always.
One question for you.
Do you have a twin?
- Not that I know of.
- Excuse me?
I'm kidding.
He is one of a kind.
You're very lucky to have him.
Does everyone have a drink?
Who needs a drink?
Oh, me. I need one.
- Great.
- The whole bottle.
Have I ever told you
you were my favorite person?
Every time we're here.
So how are you?
- How's business?
- Yeah, I'm good.
Yeah, keeping up
the grind, you know?
Working with specific clients
and really leaning into
the restoration side of things,
and you're not listening
to me anymore.
Okay. Dinner is served.
- Hey.
- Let's eat.
Come on everybody.
- Let's get it.
- Lets go. All right.
Yes, yes, yes. Let's go.
Frank. All right Frank,
you're at the head of the table.
Tyler, you're over here
to his right
and Emily to the left.
And well look, you're where
you're supposed to be.
- And Christina, honey,
- Yup.
- Can you come over to my right?
- Sure.
Mom, I wrote the name tags down.
Oh, you wrote name tags.
Good job. Well, we all know
where we're supposed to be.
I think we have
an empty seat here.
Oh, did you miscount, darling?
Sweetheart?
I don't believe this.
I just thought that...
Really? Again?
Well, yes, because
at Thanksgiving,
you told me
that you met someone.
Someone at Thanksgiving? What?
- Yeah. Yes.
- No.
No, you told me
there was someone
- that you were interested in.
- Oh. Thats...
Right, honey?
You remember that?
Yes, she talked about it
at Thanksgiving.
- How you doing?
- No, I did not.
It's Christmas.
- Well, just thought...
- Mom, it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas,
which is why I thought
Christina would invite him.
Did everybody get their ham?
Him who? There is no him.
It's awkward. Ow.
I mean, this is the third time
you have set a space
for some imaginary man
that doesn't exist.
Did everyone get ham?
It's like you expect
Mister Smith to just show up
at the door and whisk me away
on a train or something.
Was that his name, Mr. Smith?
Harry Smith?
He's a good man.
Harry is 65 years old, Dad.
No, it was a joke, all right?
Or it was supposed to be.
Still a good man.
Well, a mother can dream,
can't she?
No, Mom. No.
You can't dream about
a boyfriend that doesn't exist,
especially mine.
Let's say grace, please.
- Yes. Good idea.
- Good idea.
Dear Lord,
thank you for this food
that we're about to receive
and for this ever-blossoming
family of men
and please one more
for Christina.
- Mom.
- Please.
May he walk through this door
right about now.
Yeah. Wanna pass me
some green beans, please?
This is unbelievable.
Eh. It's just Mom being Mom.
Anyway, I have a little bit
of an announcement to make.
- Oh.
- Oh, boy.
It's a doozy.
I need a drink.
- Yeah. There you go.
- Okay.
You know, don't wanna steal
all the focus
or all the spotlight
or anything.
Hold on.
But...
Mm. I'm ready.
Well, Tyler decided
to give me my Christmas gift
a little bit early.
Oh, is it that little puppy
that you were eyeballing?
- No, no.
- Did you get the puppy?
No, not that.
It's better than a puppy.
Oh, lord.
What's better than a puppy?
Oh, I don't know. Maybe this?
Oh.
- Oh my god.
- Oh.
Yes.
Oh, thats so exciting.
Wow.
And I said yes.
- Congrats.
- Thank you.
My man. Hey, how about that?
Nice. Nice.
All right.
You have picked
the most wonderful woman.
Thank you, Mom.
I mean, you are all... all
my girls are wonderful.
But congratulations.
Have you picked a date?
No. No. Not yet.
But I'm definitely thinking
of a winter wedding.
A winter wedding.
She's also thinking
of a summer wedding.
And spring. And fall.
Oh, well, gotta cover
your bases.
That's what I was thinking.
Yeah? Were you?
Yeah, is anybody asking Mr. ATM
his opinion on this matter?
All right, we have
three daughters, sweetheart,
so you knew this was coming.
Financing a trilogy.
We weren't thinking
anything too big, Mr. Walker.
Oh. Mr. Walker?
Listen, I think the days of you
calling me Mr. Walker
are over for you, son.
- Okay.
- Just do me a favor.
Make her happy.
That's all I'm asking.
- Of course.
- Happy.
And no... nothing else?
- Nothing else. Not grumpy,
- No.
- Not gloomy, not cranky.
- Okay.
- Happy.
- Happy, happy, happy..
My guy. We're gonna be besties.
I was also wondering
if maybe you two
would be my maids of honor.
- Mm.
- Mm.
- Yes.
- Of course.
- Wow.
- I'm so excited.
Of course. Of course.
- We would be honored.
- Yeah. What she said.
And also, Sophie, I'd love
to use your wedding planner.
- Oh, no. Yeah. She's the best.
- Yeah.
- Yes. You have to.
- Yeah. She's... she's...
- All right. Awesome.
- Shes good.
I mean, she had
to take some tips from me.
She was really expensive,
but she's great.
- Well...
- Oh.
I hate to steal the spotlight
away from Emily.
Please, steal away.
But Brady and I have something
we want to say to you all.
- Mm-hm.
- Oh.
Gosh. I'm so nervous
I think I might
actually pass out.
Stay strong.
All right.
Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.
Brady and I are trying
to get pregnant. Ah.
Oh.
Congratulations.
I'm gonna be a grandma.
I'm gonna be an aunt.
And Grandpa Frankie.
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
Guys. Guys.
This isn't a thing.
What do you mean?
Everyone's congratulating you
like, you're pregnant.
- Yeah.
- But you're not.
You're... you're trying
to get pregnant.
- Honey, come on.
- Mom, no. That's ridiculous.
That's like me making
an announcement
that I'm trying
to get a boyfriend.
Are you trying
to get a boyfriend?
Mom, no. I'm making a point.
It's like me making
an announcement
that I'm trying
to win the lottery
or that I'm trying to grow
a couple of inches.
And I'm proud of you.
You know what? I'm sorry.
Okay. I'm sorry.
I'm so happy for you,
and I'm very happy for you.
- Thank you.
- And I can't wait to be an aunt.
- Yes.
- One day.
Soon. One day, apparently.
Well, this is a magical evening.
Okay. Let's cheers. Cheers.
- Cheers.
- All right.
- All right.
- Cheers.
- We are so blessed.
- Cheers.
- Merry Christmas, everyone.
- Merry Christmas.
Cheers. This has just been
a wonderful Christmas
with wonderful gifts.
- So blessed. Magical.
- You'll get yours.
- I know it.
- Yeah.
You'll get your gifts.
I just need to go check
on the Bundt cake.
And, Christina,
would you like to come help me?
- Mm-hm.
- I can't wait for.
Right behind you.
Is it a Bun cake or Bundt?
Yes, Bundt.
Okay. All right.
Would you be a dear and take
the cake out of the box for me.
Yep. Got it. Got it. Got it.
- Ooo.
- Yeah. All right.
Slice up a few.
- Yep.
- But plate it first.
And then can you
slice up a few, hon?
- Mm-hm.
- Right.
I cannot believe
that Dad still thinks
you actually make this
from scratch.
Dad believes whatever he wants
to believe.
Plus my cakes
never look this nice.
Yeah, that is true.
Ooo. Mm.
Must you?
What, Mom?
You know I love this.
- What?
- Are you okay?
I'm always okay.
You always say that.
Yeah. It's always true.
I... I just want you to be happy.
I am happy, Mom.
I don't want you to be alone.
I just... we worry
that you're gonna be alone
for the rest of your life.
Why do you have to say things
like that?
You always make me feel like
I'm the Jan Brady of the family.
Just... I'm good.
Well, I don't wanna lie to you.
Well, you don't always have
to tell the truth, do you?
Well, that's what mothers do,
and you'll come to learn this,
God willing.
Wait, that's for the coffee.
Mom? Look at me.
I'm making a pledge, all right?
I am never, ever going to be
single on Christmas Eve again.
- Really?
- Really.
Mm, Bailey's.
You love Bailey's, don't you?
- I do love it.
- Okay, who wants cake?
All right, sister.
It's twelve weeks
until Christmas
and the little calendar
on my phone moves down.
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
Will you get me the chisel?
It's dating time.
I've known you my entire life
and I'm a little lost.
That's a hammer.
You don't remember
what you said last Christmas?
To your mom? Your pledge?
You said you would never show up
to Christmas single again.
That's still a hammer.
Wait, you put that
in your calendar?
Yeah, I put it in my
calendar with an emergency alert
in case you hadn't found
someone, which you haven't.
So now we have to be laser
focused on the dating pool.
Well, I've been busy.
Yeah, I know.
With hammers and chisels.
Also, I dated.
- What about Brad?
- My cousin?
- Yeah.
- At bowling?
That wasn't a date.
Hm. Well, there was the guy
at the museum, remember?
Girl, that was our tour guide.
Okay, I know you, Christina.
I know you very well.
- And you know what I think?
- Hm.
I think you're scared
to date again
because you had
a terrible breakup.
So now you've put up
so many walls
and youre stuck in
whatever place you retreated to.
- I didnt... Okay.
- No, no, no, don't. Don't.
I'm not finished.
Also, I know this isn't
about your mother,
even though it would be nice
if she could stop harping on you
about getting married.
I also know that you don't need
a man to feel complete.
You're a strong,
independent woman
in the twenty first century
who won't be defined
by having or not having
a lifelong relationship.
I get it.
But, you know, it wouldn't be
so bad to fall in love again.
And I know you don't want
to get hurt,
but sometimes that's what it
takes to find the right person.
So stop making excuses
to not be in a relationship
and let yourself be open
to having a new one.
Okay. Now I'm finished.
Is this where I'm supposed
to slow clap?
Also, every time you open
your mouth,
it doesn't need to be
another question
that you find witty or funny.
Sometimes your constant need
for sarcasm becomes intolerable.
I'm sorry if I hurt
your feelings.
No, it's fine.
It's just a lot to take in.
- Can you help me move this?
- Yeah. Ow.
It's a little heavy.
Oh. All right.
So how do we move forward then?
Well, I'm glad you asked.
I just downloaded Smate.
Downloaded what?
Smate. That's how I met Jason.
Well, you said you met Jason
on a blind date.
I did. I set it up on Smate.
Everyone has it.
It's short for soulmate.
Cause soulmate's too long?
Losing letters is cool now.
Also, instead of an S
for plural, we use a Z.
No, I'm not doing that.
Okay, so this is
what's gonna happen.
You, my friend, are gonna go
on 12 dates in twelve weeks.
So by Christmas Eve,
you'll be storming
into your parents' house
with a man on your arm.
That is quite
the ambitious endeavor.
I know, and I'm ready for it.
You're ready?
Okay, so first things first.
Profile.
- Age 29.
- I'm not 29.
Yeah. I know that
and you know that,
but they, they don't need
to know that.
Height?
Five-two.
Five-six. Got it.
Sexual preference.
Men. It is men, right?
That was one time.
Oh, I would love that for you.
Okay, tagline. Oh, I got it.
"I'm wild and free
and ready to tango."
- No.
- "Will you be my dance partner?"
No, that's terrible.
We're not using that.
Also, I do not tango.
And it's set.
- What?
- Also, don't worry.
I already picked out
your profile pic.
Well, let me...
Oh my god.
A bikini picture?
Where did you even find this?
- Last year in Cabo.
- Uh-uh.
And trust me,
it gets them every time.
- Nope.
- That's how I got Jason
to ask me out.
- It's not happening.
Forget it.
We're... we're not using this.
Also, I think you're... you're
doing this a little too quickly.
And you got pinged.
Pinged? Pinged?
What does that mean?
- Means you made a match.
- Oh, I'm gonna be sick.
Oh, my God. He is so hot.
Let me see. Whoa. Oh, my God.
What are those lines
on his stomach?
Are those abs?
It's been so long
since I've seen an ab.
See, I told you.
Are you sure that this isn't
a Calvin Klein ad?
This can't be real.
I've seen a lot of Catfish.
This is a horrible idea. No.
Hello? Girls?
Coming, Bridget.
Come on.
Hello? Girls?
Hi. How are you?
What can we help you with today?
I have big news. Big news.
Oh, I think I have bigger news.
Not now, Molly.
Well, I just landed
a total refurnishing
on the Collins house,
which means I am
putting you two to work.
Wait, the Collins house?
That's huge.
That house has been
on the market forever.
Yes, well,
someone just bought it,
and not only someone,
but Peter Grant.
You remember him?
I brought him in last year.
- Um...
- Mm-hm.
He's like yay high, steely eyes,
and, ugh, a smile
that could melt hearts.
I knew he'd come back for me.
Wait. That hot guy
came back for you?
You sound so shocked.
It's just I don't see the two
of you two together, but...
- Try harder.
- Eeh.
- Molly.
- Yes.
He, uh, he came back for me.
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
- He did?
- Yes.
Well, I just wanted
to tell you guys
so that you all know
that we are going to be doing
a lot of work together
the next few months,
all courtesy of me.
Well, that's great news, Bridge.
Thank you for thinking of us.
We... we make a great team
and we could use
the extra business.
Yes, of course.
Well, I just couldn't wait
to tell you in person,
- but...
- Yeah.
- Hah. Yeah.
- Oh.
I'll be in touch
and just make sure
to keep your price reasonable.
Yes, we always do.
Well, don't wanna scare him off.
- Oh, you think that will do it.
- Okay.
I... I... we will definitely come up
with a fair price.
Perfect. Well, we will be
in touch in the next few days
to discuss and compare notes.
And, yeah,
I have to run for a lunch,
but it was so good to see you.
Toodles!
Toodles!
- So excited.
- Bye, Bridge.
Bye... bye.
I hate her.
I can't believe
he would be with her.
And I can't with her. Okay.
We have to move on.
Okay.
You, my bestie bestalicious,
are gonna go on date number one.
Okay.
- Hi.
- Hello.
Hi, honey. It's your mother.
Mom, you video called me.
I can see you.
Oh? A video call?
Yeah.
- What do I do?
- No, Mom.
Youre gonna... you need
to pull the phone back
so I can see your face.
Oh, I'm too close.
- How's that?
- No, now it's just up your nose.
Oh, okay.
Oh, oh, I oh, got it.
- Yeah, that's better.
- Okay.
Tell me where I'm good.
Okay. There you are. Hi.
So have you met anyone?
Since you asked me that
last night, no, Mom.
Well youre not getting
any younger.
Okay.
Well, I will have you know
I'm actually on my way
to meet someone right now, so.
You are? Oh, honey.
You have made your mother
so very happy.
Oh, I can't wait
to hear all about.
Will you call me tomorrow
and give me all the details?
Okay. Yes. I will. All right.
Bye. I gotta go. Mom.
Bye. I... I just don't know
how to hang up.
Red button.
Bottom of the screen.
Oh, this one?
The button that is red.
- Frank.
- Yeah.
- Please help me.
- Oh, God.
Really?
- I can't turn the phone off.
I'm on with Christina.
Oh, hey, sweetheart.
- Hi, Dad. How are you?
- What are you doing?
Shes got a date.
- Oh. Thats so...
- Yeah.
- Dad. Dad.
- Who is it?
Im on my way to a date.
I... Ill call you later, okay?
- I love you both.
- Who are you talking to?
- Mom. Mom.
- No, no, no.
The button...
- Good night. This is ridiculous.
- Its time to turn it off.
Alexis.
Talk to the lady.
- Alexis, off.
- Hello.
Mom, Im hanging up. Bye.
- Alexis.
- Good Lord.
Hang up.
- End call.
- I thought her name is Siri.
- Siri or Alexis?
- Siri. Siri. Whatever.
Okay.
Okay gang,
Im in the bar looking.
Who do we think Christina is?
- Oh no.
- Let's have a look.
Okay, couple of options,
couple of candidates.
First one.
Uh, excuse me,
are you Christina?
Do we think this is Christina?
Oh, no.
Whew.
Oh, no.
No, no, this can't be my life.
Wait a minute.
Wait just one short minute here.
A lovely lady alone at the table
who looks just like her picture.
I'm going in.
Christina?
Oh, hi.
We found her, everyone.
Okay, guys. First thoughts.
Sorry, who are you talking to?
My fans.
I'm live streaming this date.
Say hi.
Okay. Uh, okay.
So, I'm Chadwick, but everyone
calls me Chad. Or Chadwick.
Actually, I should post a poll
on what I should be called.
Am I right, guys?
All right. Well, um, okay.
It's... its nice to meet you.
We have first contact.
Well, technically, it's second
contact, but who's counting?
Am I right?
Right.
Are you gonna put that down?
I don't understand.
Okay.
I mean, are you just gonna,
you know, hold
that the entire dinner, or...?
Well, yeah.
That's... that's what I do.
I'm an influencer.
Really?
That's a thing around here?
- Wow.
- Oh, yeah.
I make great money at it
between YouTube and TikTok
and my Snapchat premium
where I usually just take
my shirt off and stuff.
Actually, I rarely wear a shirt.
I'm sorry. What?
Yeah.
This is a special occasion,
so I put on some clothes.
I live stream all my dates.
They love it.
You guys love it, right?
- Wow.
- Told you.
- They love it.
- Yeah, okay.
That's... I... I can see
that they love it.
You know what? Maybe, um,
if it could
just be the two of us.
You know, just you, me.
I don't understand.
You don't understand. Okay.
I'm gonna be
a little more direct.
I don't want strangers
watching us or listening to us
before I even know
anything about you.
Wait. You don't follow me?
No. I don't follow you.
I actually don't do the whole
social media thing.
Oh.
Oh, they're not liking
these answers.
- What do you mean? Who isn't?
- My followers.
Okay, everyone.
Just, let's relax.
- Okay.
- Lets give her a chance.
- What are they saying?
- Oh, uh, you don't wanna know.
Yes, I do. Let me see.
I want to see
what they're saying.
Oh. Oh.
Well, that's just... Okay.
I mean, oh, what do you know
about fashion sense,
- Melly624...
- Okay, okay.
- Mellys...
- You're a bully.
Melly's Top 10 fans.
We gotta be nice to Melly.
Tell me about you.
- What makes Christina tick?
- Yeah.
Well, I can tell you
what ticks me off.
- What?
- This.
So have fun with that.
Bye, Chadwick. Chad.
We're a loser.
What should I do?
Christina, Melly624
says she's sorry.
I know you didn't say that.
Oh, hey girlfriend.
Oh, okay.
Oh, that's not the look
of someone
who had a wild night
with a hottie.
You, my very, very dear friend,
are very, very perceptive.
- That bad?
- Worse.
Oh, what happened?
He was live streaming the date.
Oh, one of those.
There's more of them?
Yeah. Maybe we set
the age too young.
Don't worry, next one
will be more age appropriate.
Oh, Molly, I don't know.
Trust me.
I won't be so quick
to set up a date next time.
You know, I'll just filter out
all the bad stuff.
Think of this one
as a trial run.
How many trial runs
are you expecting?
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Sorry about the store.
It's a mess.
We're just redecorating
for Christmas.
Oh, no, I get it.
That's all right.
- How are you doing?
- How are you?
I'm good. Yeah,
I'm really great. I'm good.
- Good. How are you?
- Great.
I'm great.
How... how are you?
- Oh, very good.
- Great.
Wow. Okay.
I'm gonna go drink this
in the corner.
Okay.
So what brings you back here?
I think I had had enough
of New York.
It was just kind of a lot
after a while,
and I'm grateful
for my time there at first,
but then I needed
something different.
I came back here,
fell in love with the house,
and I realize
you were not asking
about me coming back here.
You meant...
No. I... I meant my store,
but that is interesting story.
Good. Now I feel very dumb.
Yeah. You... you should.
Nice. So... sorry, the reason
I'm in this building right now
is because I have a problem
that I'm hoping you can fix.
- Oh, I love a challenge.
- You're gonna get one.
I have what remains
of this loveseat
that's sort of
a family heirloom.
Bridget hates it, but I think
I would like to restore it
to its former glory and
I would hate to get rid of it.
Yeah, great.
Let's just bring it down
to my workshop.
- Which you should remember
- Okay.
From last year
when you tried to break in.
This is right before you tried
to cut off my head with...
Yeah. I'll bring my candy cane.
- There it is. Yeah.
- So watch out.
Okay. I'll be right back.
Okay.
It is gorgeous.
It just needs a little TLC.
Really? So you can fix this?
Oh, I can.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
This is gonna take
a little time, but, yes, I can.
I... I can definitely fix this.
Okay. Yeah.
That would mean the world to me.
Uh... wow. So remind me again,
how did you get into furniture
or... or was it restoration?
- Restoration.
- Yeah.
Yeah. It's actually the side
of my business
that I love the most.
I just learned that furniture
doesn't solely have
to be functional.
So many pieces just hold
a lot of memories.
So you know the story
with this thing.
- Hm.
- Um...
we didn't have a lot
of money growing up,
and my parents
were walking downtown one day
and happened to see this thing
in a shop window.
And my mom fell in love with it.
Obviously, we couldn't
afford it.
So my dad secretly saved up
for almost a year...
Wow.
And then surprised her
on her birthday.
And the only reason
I remember this
is because it was the first time
that I ever saw
somebody cry for joy.
So they're still together,
so must be something
to this thing.
Mm. That's really special.
Well, anyway, I will...
- let you get to it.
- Okay.
I know it's
in very capable hands.
- The best hands.
- The best hands.
Yes.
Before I forget,
- I would like to...
- Oh. What do you...
I would like to pay.
- Im gonna pay you.
- No, no. Mm-mm. No.
- Yes.
- No. Please.
Pay me when I'm done.
You might hate it.
I don't think I'm gonna hate it.
No. You're definitely
not gonna hate it.
- Okay.
- All right.
- All right.
- Okay.
Well, thank you very much,
and I'll... Ill check back
in a little later.
- Sounds good.
- All right.
Be here.
- Okay. Bye.
- Bye.
Whoo.
Were you just listening
to all of that?
Oh, intensely.
Don't read too much into it.
But I want to.
I mean, he's kind of perfect,
but he's taken.
I'm not gonna wait around.
And Bridget has her hooks sunk
into him and he's okay with it,
which means there's something
definitely wrong with him,
so let's just move on from it.
Oh. Well, good point.
I mean, I don't buy it, but...
I mean, it's not like
I had a crush on him
- in high school or anything.
- Of course not.
Or that he looks
even better now.
- I know.
- Good.
- Good.
- Great.
What's next?
Okay. Let's see.
We don't want a model,
but we do want somebody cute.
Definitely.
Oh. How about somebody foreign?
Oh. I do love a foreign accent.
You really do.
Hi.
- Hello.
Oh.
Hello.
I'm assuming you are Emron.
I am Emron. Em-ron.
Em-ron.
- R-r-r...
- R-r-ron.
- R-r-r...
- Em-ron.
- Emron.
- Well, answers that.
Very... oh. Thank you.
That's very nice to meet you.
So where are you
originally from?
Oh, please, not you too
with the phone.
This is just...
Hello. My English
is very poor,
so I must use this device
to communicate.
Yeah. That's fine. Sorry.
The... the last guy
was like... never mind.
So how are you?
Fine. You?
- Good. Good. Yeah. Good.
- Good.
Yeah. See?
You speak some English.
English. That's very good.
Yeah. Very cute.
Hairy tooth? Huh?
- What? No.
- You are hairy tooth?
- No. Of course not. I...
- Hairy snoot?
Oh. No. No. No.
No hair anywhere.
I mean, there's hair on my head.
You know what?
Let's start over.
You want to come over?
- What? Oh, no.
- High five.
No, no, no. Absolutely not.
Not. Snot.
- Ah! Tissue.
- Okay.
Actually, I have an idea.
Let's... thanks.
That's very funny.
Let's, um... How long
have you been in America?
Oh, oh. I was born here.
- I see.
- You ski?
Yes, I do ski.
You know what, I'm actually
pretty late for the slopes.
But it was really nice
to meet you, Emron.
Or I'm sorry, Emr-r-ron.
- Emron. Yes.
- Yes. Okay.
Well, best of luck to you.
This was fun.
We should, you know,
not do this again.
- You know, have...
- Again.
- A good time. Okay.
- Okay. Call?
Yeah.
No, probably not.
Peace offering.
You're not at war. Thank you.
It's not my fault.
I didn't say it was.
Even though it kind of is.
It's a learning process.
Now we know to filter out models
and people
who don't speak English.
Wait, there's a filter for that?
Oh, girl. There's a filter
for everything these days.
- Wow.
- Hello, my girls.
Hi, Bridget.
How's Peter's loveseat
coming along?
Yeah, it's coming.
Good, because I plan
on spending a lot of time on it.
Oh, my dear.
Things that good?
I think he's the one.
Wow, the one.
That's so soon.
Well, when you know you know.
Yeah. I guess you do.
Well, I'm really truly happy
for you, Bridget.
Ah. Thank you so much,
Christina.
- That's so nice.
- You're welcome.
And you too, Molly.
I didn't say anything.
Well, anyway, enough about me.
What about you?
- Yeah, Ive just...
- You know what?
- I have to go.
- Okay.
Bye, Bridget.
You're not really happy
for her, are you?
I don't know.
I mean, in a way I am.
I mean, she's clearly
insufferable,
but everyone deserves happiness,
and you saw that.
She clearly looks happy.
Agreed.
Which is why I'm so excited
about your next date.
Well, at least one of us is.
Okay.
All right.
Its gonna be great.
Okay.
Hi. Are you Michael?
- Christina?
- Yeah.
Hey, baby.
Come, sit.
- Join me, please.
- Oh. Oh.
Now, I took the liberty
of ordering us each
some chakra nutrient granola
with hemp, chia,
and cactus thistle pits
over some moonbeam ice cream.
- Oh, like the song.
- What song?
Oh, you know,
the Benson Boone song. It...
Never mind. You know what?
I'm just gonna let that one go.
So you're the successful
investment banker
that just moved here
from Wall Street?
Total life change, man.
I went to Burning Man in August,
and it.
It literally changed my life.
Yeah. I can... I can see that.
Like, life is too short, man.
You know what I mean?
Hm... No. No. Not really.
I was just a spoke
in the wheel of life,
just serving the man,
but I wanted more, you know?
Yeah, so you moved to Clinton.
Well, my parents live here.
Oh, I... I didn't realize
that you were from here.
So you... you moved back to be
with your family and friends.
That is just...
that's really sweet.
Well, actually,
most of my friends and family,
they live in New York.
But after the Burn, you know,
I really felt like I had to
just get rid of all these
material possessions
and these responsibilities,
so I just cashed out everything,
and I moved
into my parents' house.
You live with your parents?
Yeah. It's cool, right?
And you're how old?
Just turned 40.
Forty. Right.
May I ask you a question?
Shoot.
If you want,
I think I could ask my camp
if you could join us
at the next Burn.
Mm. Please don't.
Well, there's only 30 of us
in our camp.
Yeah, I don't want to impose.
You would have to bring
your own bicycle.
I don't have one.
Well, we have very strict rules
about taking turns
changing the septic tank
in the RV.
- Noted.
- Wait.
Have you ever experienced
a flow in a sandstorm?
I don't even know
what that means.
Oh, my God.
It is so intense.
But it is nothing
that some glow sticks
and some fire poi can't fix.
I'm sure.
Hey.
See, what I'm really looking
for, Christina,
is that special connection
that two people have
when they can't move,
and they're trapped
in the middle of a mud pile
with thousands of other Burners.
Yeah, I can't really think
of anything worse
than being stuck in the desert
with no way out
and stuck in your mud pile
from hell.
It is so much fun.
- Is it, though?
- Yes.
Hey, are you gonna pay for this?
What? Wait,
you didn't pay for this?
Well, at the Burn,
we call it gifting.
So, you see, they're gonna
gift us this ice cream.
Right. Well,
we're not at the Burn,
and here in the real world,
we gotta pay our bills.
Capitalism.
Oh my God.
- Christina?
- Yeah?
Would you like an edible?
- Jesus.
- Stop it.
I can honestly say I do not
understand those people.
Like, what if you wanted
the music to stop?
It doesn't stop.
Oh, and he wanted me
to clean the toilets?
- Okay. I cant.
- Yeah.
- No more of those.
- No. No more of any of them.
I am done. Okay? I'm done.
Oh.
- Hello, my lovelies.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Peter took me to the most
amazing restaurant
the other night.
What was it called again?
It's called the 303,
but you were the one...
Yes, right. The 303.
All those numbers,
like an area code, but not.
OMG, the white truffles, delicious.
- Mm, yeah. No, I've heard that.
- Yeah.
Have any of your dates
taken you there?
- Well...
- Oh, you're dating?
Uh, I wouldn't call it that,
but...
- Okay. Uh...
- Yeah.
Well, we just wanted
to stop in to see
if you could show us
some of your cute
- little knickknacks...
- Sure.
In the store so we can put it
for his coffee table.
But I just realized that
we actually have to get going
to the carpet store.
They just got
in the most stunning rugs,
so I think we'll just
come back later,
you know, um,
and we'll pick out what we like.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Well, good to see...
- All right. Okay.
- Okay.
- Yes.
- Good. Bye. Come on.
- Yeah.
Let's go.
- Wow.
- Bye.
- I'll see you.
- What?
Is it bad to hope
that she gets abducted by aliens
and then returns home
like 20% uglier?
Mm... yeah.
I mean, she's shoving her
new boyfriend down your throat
- and I hate it.
- It's fine.
She's living her best life
while trying to disparage mine.
Wait. No. That's not fine.
Well, let's make you happy.
- Yeah.
- Time for another date.
- Why not?
- Ow.
You know?
What do I have to lose?
- Nothing.
- Except my dignity.
Mm.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- The next one is from David.
- Okay.
He looks like
a genuinely good guy.
- Yeah. He does look nice.
- Yeah.
What could go wrong?
Don't answer that.
Wait.
What happened?
And I was like,
they're called fish sticks.
There's no D in it.
What the Henry did you think
you were eating?
I cannot believe
that you had the identical
dating experience as me.
Oh, at the end of the day,
right,
it's just basic communication.
Exactly. And that becomes
really difficult
when you're using
a translation app
for every other sentence.
Yes. Especially when the app
gets it completely wrong.
Totally.
I mean, this app
was having one conversation.
The guy was having another.
And then there was me
sitting there
trying to understand
the both of them.
- It's too much.
- No. I agree.
- Way too much.
- Too much.
No, Australian is a lot easier
to understand.
Well, it's because it's English.
Mm.
It's also a lot sexier.
Well, to a sexy conversation.
Yeah. I will so drink to that.
I gotta say, this is, um...
this is a breath
of fresh air for me.
For me too.
Yeah. I was about to give up
on the whole Smate dating,
but here you are, and, um, yeah,
I'm just happy right now.
Relieved.
I'm glad you feel that way
because I'm... I'm totally getting
the same vibe here.
Oh, really happy
you feel that way,
and I would totally love
to do this again if you want to.
Oh, are you kidding?
I would... I would love that.
I... I just need the final okay
to just take it
to the next level, that's all.
The final okay?
- Mummy.
- What?
Come join.
Ah, you must be Christina.
Hi. Yeah. Um, what?
I'm sorry.
I'm a little confused right now.
Irene. I'm David's mum.
- Mom.
- Oh, hi. I...
Oh, no. Please don't get up.
Okay.
So I've been observing you,
- as we mothers do.
- Yeah...
I have a few questions.
- You do?
- Mm-hm. First one.
What are your intentions
towards my baby?
Oh. Okay, you're serious.
Um, my intentions with your...
baby are to go on another date
and... and just see
how things go from there.
Any sexually
transmitted diseases.
What? Oh my God.
No, I'm not really...
- Oh, just a few more.
- Comfortable with this.
Just a few more.
Any children out there?
No, absolutely not.
Oooh. Methinks the lady
doth protest too much.
Excuse me?
Last one.
Are you on any drugs?
- What?
- Oxy, Xanax, maybe you
hit the pipe at night.
Okay, you know what? No.
David, are you gonna
say something?
It's a little weird.
No. It's just, it's the
last question. We're done.
No, I think we're done,
like, right now.
So thank you for the drink,
and have a great date night
with your mummy.
She wasn't for you.
Mummy, you always know best.
I heard that.
- Is it bad?
- No.
Good?
Okay, let me get this for you.
I'm pregnant.
I'm not an invalid.
Oh, I know. You're just so big.
Thanks.
It's impressive, seriously.
So I guess the whole trying
to get pregnant thing
was real, hm?
I told you.
You know, I've walked
by this store so many times,
I've never actually been in.
What do you need?
Everything.
But I'm doing it in batches,
otherwise it gets
a bit overwhelming.
These clothes are so tiny.
And yet they cost the same
as the larger ones.
Oh, yikes.
I know, and they grow out
of them in like two weeks.
Really? I had no idea.
Hence the baby shower.
I need me some freebies.
So, I heard you were out there
on the dating scene.
How'd you know that?
I hear things.
I have people.
You have people. Okay.
Are you about to have a baby?
Why, yes, I am.
I'm due any day now.
Like today?
Maybe, who knows?
My mommy's about to have
a baby too.
That's so lovely.
Where's your baby?
Oh, I don't have a baby.
Why not?
Because I just don't.
Isn't your
biological clock ticking?
- Lily.
- Oh.
I'm so sorry.
It's... its fine.
She reminds me of my mother.
Lily, apologize
to the nice lady.
I'm sorry you're old
and you don't have a baby.
Old. I'll show you old, Lily.
Ugh. Not that my real age
is old or anything.
Why am I talking to myself?
Well, talking to myself
isn't bad.
It's just the answering myself
that's a little bit scary.
Anyway.
Okay.
Good enough.
Welcome to Los Parrilleros.
If you want it, we can grill it.
How can I help you?
Uh, yes. I'm actually here
to meet someone.
- Ohhh.
- Oh?
You must be Christina.
Uh, yes. I am.
How did you know that?
- We know all about you.
- Oh.
He's over there. I'll take you.
Okay. Great.
- There.
- There?
Yes.
Okay. Thank you.
Oh. Christina?
You're Hal?
Hal, yes, that's me.
Wow. Um, sure.
Why not? Hi, Hal.
It's really nice to meet you.
I'm sorry that I'm late.
Late? No. No.
I've been here
since they opened this morning.
- Since ten?
- Yeah.
Okay.
Is this for me?
A rose for a rose.
Aw, I'm a rose?
- Huh?
- I'm a rose?
Huh?
I'm a rose?
Isn't that your name?
No. I... I'm Christina.
Remember? We just met.
Oh. Oh.
- Okay.
- I am so embarrassed.
I date so often sometimes
the names get confused.
You do?
Huh?
Hal, I just think
there's been a little bit
of a misunderstanding here.
You seem really great.
You... you have another date?
No. You seem great.
Yeah. I just...
I think I'm gonna go.
Oh. Where... where are we going?
No, no, no. No, no. Hal, sorry.
You're gonna stay here.
I'm gonna go.
But you know what?
I do have a grandmother.
She's recently single.
She's amazing.
I think that she would love
a great meal.
You had the veal?
Yes. Yes. I had the veal.
Bye.
Oh. Women.
Tell me everything.
How long do you have?
Tell me.
You remember you thought
it was artistic and cool
that his photo
was in black and white?
Uh, yeah, I do.
He's a total looker.
Yeah, that is not why the photo
- was in black and white.
- No?
No, the photo was
in black and white
because color film
was not invented
when the picture was taken.
Oh, so not a match?
If dating someone the age
of your deceased grandfather
is a match, then yeah.
Yeah. Not so much.
Molly, I thought that you were
screening these guys better.
I am. But some people lie
about their age.
By 40 years? Come on.
Yeah.
That's a bit of a stretch.
But don't worry.
Next guy is a total catch.
How old?
- Don't be an agist.
- Molly.
Okay. Let's see.
Uh, it says 37,
so I'm thinking 45 tops.
Okay. Yeah.
I guess I can deal with that.
He loves to travel.
No kids yet.
Oh, and his eyes
are super dreamy.
I guess that checks
a few things off.
Look, I told you,
you need to kiss a lot of frogs
- to find your prince.
- Sshh. No, no.
I can't deal
with your cliches anymore.
- I'm sorry.
- Just trying to be supportive.
Well, I know, but your support
is wearing thin.
Yeah, I'm sensing that.
So, what do you say?
I say, oh. Hello, Jarod.
Let's see what you got.
Great. I mean, how much worse
can it be from last night?
Christina.
Jarod. Hi.
- Wow.
- Whoa.
You are stunning.
- Oh. Thank you.
- Yeah.
Your pictures
do not do you justice.
And your pictures are gorgeous.
Just glad you look like yours.
- Why wouldn't I?
- No, no, no.
No, I just had this experience
with a guy who... let's just say
that his picture
wasn't that current.
- Anyway, not important.
- Uh-oh, yeah. Here.
Thank you.
My mom taught me well.
I like this woman.
She's not hiding here
anywhere, is she?
Why would she be?
Great question.
So, have you been
to this place before?
No, I've always wanted to.
I just haven't had
any free time.
- Hm.
- I'm so locked in with work.
Okay.
I took the liberty
of getting you a strawberry.
Oh, I'm actually allergic
to strawberry.
Oh, no.
I'm kidding.
I love strawberry.
Thank you. Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
So what'd you get?
Banana pudding.
- I think we should swap.
- Cheers...
You want to take that?
All right.
I'm just kidding.
I had this profound epiphany
that life is about freedom,
inner freedom.
This is true.
And the choice to stay in town.
That's why I decided to stick
around town for a while.
Are you planning
on not staying or...?
No, I am. I just tend to move
around a lot.
Hm. Maybe it's time
to settle down?
Maybe it is.
I like talking to you.
I like looking at you.
Okay.
And talking to you.
You're so smart and funny.
You should have a podcast.
So what part of town
do you live in?
Oh, you know.
Mm, no. Actually, I don't.
That's why I asked.
Well, I told you I move
around a lot.
Yeah, I know, but you're not
moving around right now.
- Not yet.
- All right. Okay.
Let's just try this
a different way.
Where did you sleep last night?
Uh, just east of here.
Oh, in the Lower Falls?
Sure.
- That's nice.
- Yeah.
Wait, why did you say "sure"
like that?
Well, I'm sort of
in between places.
Right. You're moving around.
Always, always on the move.
Yeah, you're moving.
You've said that a few times.
Well, I work
in home furnishings,
so next time we hang out,
I'd love to bring you something
for your place.
That is so thoughtful.
But no, I can't accept.
No possessions for me.
I'm a minimalist.
Okay, mystery man.
Um, this was fun.
When can I see you again?
Soon. And I am gonna
bring you that gift.
- Don't do that.
- No, no, please.
I want to.
Where can I send it?
Are you feeling
what I'm feeling?
- Like,
- Okay, that's...
Oh.
What?
What is that on...?
- Oh... Crap.
- Jarod, what's happening?
What is this?
Oh my god.
Jarod.
Stop whatever romantic
advances you have
and put your hands in the air.
Mm. Christina, I haven't
been completely honest with you.
You don't say.
My name isn't Jarod.
Okay, well, what is it?
Harrison Jones.
- It's actually Harry.
- Stand up.
Walk slowly back
to the sound of my voice.
Um, am I...?
What is happening?
I'm kinda a fugitive.
Kinda? What does that mean?
Down on
your knees and place your hands
behind your head.
Christina, can I call you?
Collect?
All right, let's go.
Oh, my God.
Is this a deal breaker?
Yeah, fugitive is definitely
a deal breaker, okay?
Okay, I did not see that coming.
I mean honestly,
I thought you were filtering out
all the crazies.
I need to filter better.
Molly, I'm so over this.
There's no I in quit.
Okay, well, he did call you
beautiful, and as they say,
that's the most important thing
in the world.
No, that is not what they say.
Oh! I got another ping.
Oh, if I never hear
the word ping again,
it'll be too soon.
Girl, it's clutch time.
Six dates down and six more
to go until Christmas.
So roll up them sleeves
and let's get to it.
My sleeves
are already rolled up.
Yes, I see that now.
Hi.
- Christina.
- Yes.
Wow, you are beautiful.
That's very nice.
Thank you.
Oh, God.
That just came right out.
I should not...
I should not talk.
No, no. That's okay.
- Uh... thank you.
- Yeah.
Yeah, you look great.
Oh, well, thanks.
- Yeah, hey, please.
- Yeah.
I hope it's okay
I got the table for us.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Such a gentleman, thank you.
Yeah, I try.
All right. So, Jimmy.
Um, tell me about you.
It's kind of the same old story.
I left town,
I started this little AI company
and did pretty well,
like, you know, five, ten,
- fifteen million dollars,
- Really?
- Something like that.
- Whoa.
Yeah, I got my parents a house,
got my brother a house,
my sister a house,
a bunch of SUVs.
- Oh.
- And I'm boring you.
It's the same old story, whatever.
Oh, no. Not really
the same old story, but...
Dear God, your eyes
are striking.
Thank you.
- Daisy.
- Daisy?
Yeah. I'm sorry. All right.
Daddy is bad who left you
down there too long.
Oh my god. You have a dog.
- Where were you...?
- I do.
I'm sorry. I didn't look...
Where was he hiding?
He's so cute.
Its a she. She.
- She? Sorry. She.
- Yeah.
- She uses the she/her pronouns.
- She's cute.
She's a little sensitive
to that.
Oh, yeah. I mean, apologies.
Yeah. You know,
they say I rescued her.
You know, it was a rescue,
but um...
she rescued me.
Thats...
I just... shes the love
of my life.
Wow. That... that...
that's adorable.
No, I'm serious.
She's the love of my life.
- Oh.
- You are the love of my life.
I tell that to you every day.
But I don't say it enough you.
Oh.
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
So much kisses. So much love.
Love you. I want more kisses.
Give me tongue.
- Give me a little more tongue.
- I have to go.
- Little more tongue.
- Im uncomfortable
so Im gonna just...
get out of here.
Christina?
We don't need her.
Hi.
Hey, toots. How's it hangin?
Nope.
Hello, Christina.
Your date is here.
Hi.
Hey.
Oh. Ah.
- Hey. Crystal.
- Hey.
- Crystal, that's me. Bye. Bye.
- Yeah.
- Bye, Daisy.
- All right. Good to see you.
Oh, hey, Chris.
Hey.
Whats up, man? Love the dress.
I'm just waiting on someone.
Should be here soon.
Unbelievable.
Yeah, I don't know
what's more offensive.
That dummy calling you toots
or the bearded guy wearing
sandals with socks.
Ugh.
The dress sounded nice though.
Yeah, now that you mention it,
it was actually pretty
flattering.
So not a total loss.
- Oh.
- Hi.
Sorry. I hope
I'm not interrupting anything.
Oh, no, no.
It's perfect timing.
I was about to leave.
Don't do anything I wouldnt do.
Sorry.
Um, not to be annoying,
but I just wanted to stop by
and check on the progress.
- No, you're never annoying.
- Wow.
Yeah, it's getting there, right?
Yeah, it's definitely
getting there.
Look at that.
So how's Clinton's newest
resident doing?
Also getting there.
Uh, Bridget has a new
design idea every five minutes,
so that's taking up most
of my waking life.
Kind of wondering whether
hiring her was a good idea?
Yeah, she can be a lot,
I know, but she is so good
at what she does.
She is, she is.
And you two seem to be having
a good time with each other?
Yeah, I guess.
Oh! Come here, come here.
Look at this.
Do you see this right there?
Yeah, what... what is that?
- Touch it.
- Here?
Its very smooth.
It's ivory.
Like ivory, ivory?
- Mm-hm.
- Isn't that illegal?
Well, is now, thankfully so.
But this piece is probably
a hundred years old.
So it's okay though,
like I'm not gonna get arrested?
Oh, you might.
- What?
- I'm kidding.
- Sorry.
- Yeah, it's okay.
Come on. Oh, okay.
It's coming.
Sorry. What's coming?
He, she, I don't know.
- They're... they coming here?
- I don't know. Do I...
No. They're not... hospital.
I gotta...
Yes. Hospital.
Okay. Let's do it.
We got this.
Let's go to the hospital.
- Okay. Yes.
- Jacket.
- You've got your jacket.
- Yeah. I got it.
Why don't we take my car?
Okay. Hah!
Okay.
Here.
- What did I miss?
- Lot of waiting.
Oh. Hi. Okay. Good.
Good, I thought
I was gonna miss it.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Oh, hello.
Oh, guys, everyone,
this is Peter.
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi.
Peter. Yeah, Peter.
Nice to meet you.
- He's a client, Mom.
- Well, I didn't say anything.
I know,
I can read your thoughts.
Can you hear me say this?
- Stop it, Mom.
- Yeah, I'm...
sorry to intrude
on your family time.
No, you're not intruding at all.
- I'm so glad you're here.
- Oh, you are?
- You are?
- Yeah.
So, I have been asking,
and no one
- is telling me anything.
- Okay.
So would you be a doll
and go in there
and find out what's going on?
- Oh, okay.
- Wed be so very grateful.
- Yeah.
- Mom, Mom, Mom.
He can't actually go back there
because he doesn't work here.
Right, I don't work here,
but I think I know somebody
who works here, hopefully still.
- Maybe.
- Oh.
- Give me a second.
- Oh, okay.
- I'll be...
- That's great. Okay.
Right back. Give me a second.
- You sure?
- Yep. Yep.
I got it.
I like him.
- Me too.
- He's very cute.
Okay.
How long have you been together?
Okay. All of you, please stop.
All right? We're not together.
He's just a client.
Even better.
Even better than what, Dad?
Better than not being a client.
- He has a point.
- How is that a point?
- Its totally a point.
- It's a point.
Sure. Why not?
What she said.
Okay, so how long does it take
to, you know, give birth?
Well, she's been in labor
for a few hours.
Yeah. My experience, anytime
from now until another day.
- A day?
- Could be.
Yeah, I was in labor with you
for over 30 hours.
Thirty hours?
That sounds like
a really long time.
How long were you
in labor with Emily?
Oh, she was easy.
Piece of cake.
What was it, what, an hour tops?
Barely an inconvenience.
You, on the other hand,
you did not wanna come out.
- Oh.
- Oof. You had a very big head.
- Okay.
- Oh, it was enormous.
Large cranium. It was...
Like a... like a cantaloupe.
Like...
like a watermelon.
And they tried to suck you out.
They had one of them
vacuum suckers.
So what's going on in there?
Another big head?
Maybe it runs in the family.
Okay. Enough with my big head.
Thank you.
Well, that's easy
for you to say.
Try pushing that out of your...
Mom, Mom. We get it. We get it.
Oh, my God.
- Oh!
- I broke her out.
I figured
you all would wanna meet
your grandson and nephew
sooner rather than later.
- It's a boy.
- Oh my gosh, oh.
It's a baby.
Now I want one.
You did so good, Sophie.
- It hurt.
- Thank you.
Big head.
So you all have
about five minutes.
Thank you so much.
Anything for Peter.
We go way back.
Thank you again.
You're a saint.
You're a saint.
Well, I'm happy
that I could help.
- Now enjoy your...
- Mm.
Ever expanding family.
- He's gorgeous.
- Oh, thank you so much.
- Look at that beautiful face.
- Does he have a name?
Brady passed out
in the delivery room,
- so we have to wait
- Oh!
- Until he regains consciousness.
- Is he okay?
I hope so.
Gonna need the help.
Well, you've got me, honey.
Im gonna need the father.
Well, of course you are.
And the uncle.
Doc, five fingers, five toes?
- Ten of each.
- Oh, 10.
Better. That's good.
That's good. You got 10 of each.
Good job, baby.
- So you are gonna escort me out?
- Well, yeah.
You broke into
the maternity ward, so.
Broke into the...
should we yell that
as we're walking out of here?
No. I just I wanted
to thank you for all that.
- I... I didn't do anything.
- You did. Yes.
You did. You handled my
insane family like a champ,
- and you...
- Okay.
Helped my sister on the
most important day of her life,
- and me, so.
- Mm-hm.
And there's also
literally no other place
that I would rather be.
Oh.
Um... um...
I'm so sorry.
- No, that's okay.
- Didnt know the ringer was on.
- All good.
- So it's Bridget.
- I'm just gonna tell her...
- Oh, its Bridget.
Im going to call
her back really quick.
Hey, hey.
Yes, so now is not actually...
Yeah, okay. All right.
I will be right there.
Just... just don't freak out.
Sorry. Okay, yes,
I'll be there. Great.
- Just wait there please.
- Is everything okay?
No, there's water main break
- apparently in the basement.
- Oh. Okay.
- So I gotta...
- Yeah.
- I should go deal with that.
- Go... go deal with that.
I'm gonna call you though.
Okay.
Okay.
Wait, so he kissed you?
No, he almost kissed me...
I think.
Well, did he or didn't he?
I don't know.
The whole thing was a blur.
Well, how was it leading up
to it?
It was amazing.
I mean, he is... he's amazing.
And everything with him
just feels... really good.
Effortless.
Are you seeing him again?
I don't know.
He said he'd call.
That's it?
Yes, of course that's it,
because he's with Bridget, remember?
I mean, all of this just feels
like high school again.
I just... I have this clear memory
in my head
where I think that he likes me
only to find out
that he's with another girl.
And you know what? No.
I'm not going
through this again.
Who's next on this app?
- Christina.
- Oh.
- I'm so glad you could join me.
- Hi. You already got started.
- Okay.
- Yeah. Damn.
Even better in person.
- Oh. Thank you. Thats...
- Indeed.
You look great.
You look very strong, very fit.
Thank you. I try.
Go ahead and get your mat out.
Okay. You know,
I have to be honest.
I've never actually been
on a yoga date before.
I've never not been.
Yeah.
Where is all of your stuff?
My stuff? Oh, well,
I have my mat.
I have my good attitude,
and... anyway, um...
You... you know yoga is not
just a fly by night exercise.
- Uh-huh.
- It's a way of life.
Yeah, of course.
Of course it is.
You know, I've... I've actually
heard that before, so...
We're gonna go down to the mat.
- Okay.
- All right, join me.
- Um...
- Here we are. Yes.
- Oh.
- Yes.
That's a pretty plant.
- It's tiny...
- A pretty plant?
That's bonsai.
- Bonsai.
- Bonsai.
It's a symbol of power,
balance...
- Mm.
- Precision.
- Right. No, of course.
- Yeah.
Yeah. It's also pretty.
Very cute. Okay.
So we're gonna get right
into our stretch.
All right, and we're stretching.
Okay. Great.
So, why don't you tell me
about your...
I actually prefer silence
while we stretch.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- Let the mind relax.
Okay. Well, I actually kinda
prefer talking on a first date,
but appears we might be at a
little bit of an impasse here.
Is something going on
with your chi?
- My chi?
- I sense something in your chi.
No, there's nothing wrong
with my chi.
I don't even know what a chi is,
but it feels like my chi's okay.
It's very strong.
Let's try warrior two.
Oh. Were getting up. Hang on.
- Okay. Thank you.
- Were up. Warrior two.
- There we go.
- Okay. So...
Into warrior two.
Just looking at your feet.
- All right.
- Yes.
Um... so...
Are you okay?
I'm fine. I'm so fine.
- No. You... you don't...
- I am so... so fine.
Yeah. You look fine.
It's just the sound...
Whoa.
Now say it with me,
Najee Ramba.
I'm not gonna say that.
- Najee, come on...
- Do I even need to be here?
Id, uh... I just feel
a little uncomfortable.
- All right. Um...
- Mm!
I'm just gonna get on
out of here,
but you know what?
Just enjoy
your yoga session and...
- Youre leaving mid pose.
- Continue your breathing and...
Back to warrior two.
All right. Bye.
Why you running off, Christina?
I gotta go see a guy
about a thing.
- Christina.
- Hi.
Please tell me
you speak English,
you aren't an influencer,
you don't like Burning Man,
and your mother
isn't hiding here anywhere.
Whoa. That's quite a list.
Well, I have my reasons.
Okay. Well,
I can safely tell you
that I am none of those things.
Good. Okay, then.
That's a relief.
- Okay.
- All right. Gregg.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Very nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Yeah, let's have a lovely,
wonderful, very normal evening.
That sounds great.
Yes, normal.
And actually, it's Gregug.
- Sorry, what?
- It's Gregug.
I have two Gs
at the end of my name.
And you pronounce both of them?
I do.
Okay, I can work with that.
Thank you
for meeting me tonight.
Yeah. So, I read
on your profile
that you recently moved here.
Yeah, I've been here,
gosh, almost a year now.
I love it.
This town is so charming.
People are amazing.
Yeah. Well,
how's dating going for you?
You just haven't found
the right one yet?
Well, I might just have.
How we doing over here, folks?
Hi.
Get you started
with something to drink?
- Yes.
- Yeah. Christina?
Yes, I will just have
the margarita. Rocks, no salt.
Excellent.
And for you, sir?
That is exactly
what I'd like to order.
Oh, what a coincidence.
- When in Rome.
- Or Mexico, right?
Yeah, so in that case,
dos margaritas por favor.
- Oh.
- Okay.
So what are you
in the mood for tonight?
You know, I think...
I hear their burritos
are fantastico.
Yeah. I'm sure.
I'm just gonna get the fajitas.
Uh, I love fajitas.
The carnitas. Muy delicioso.
- Oh-kay.
- Here we go.
Perfect.
Have you decided on some food?
Si. I'm going to have
the carnitas burritos platter,
and she's going to have
the fajitas especial, por favor.
- Right.
- Thank you.
Great.
Sorry. Um, I just, I can't tell
if you're kidding or not.
You go into this accent
when you speak Spanish.
- Really?
- Yeah.
I didn't... I haven't noticed it.
No, it's not a big deal.
It's... you're great.
- It's...
- Okay.
Just thought I'd mention it.
Okay, because I do travel a lot.
I've been to Mexico many times,
and I did just return
- from Barcelona.
- Oh.
So, you know, maybe my mind
is in Medellin somewhere.
I don't know.
- Um... super interesting.
- Oh, cheers.
- Ah, cheers to... to you.
- Mexico?
Yeah.
So, needless to say,
that is the last time I put
live jellyfish in my mouth.
Oh my god.
- Wow, these are really strong.
- Yeah.
I feel a little tipsy right now.
Well, let me get you
an Uber home.
We can come get your car
in the morning.
Well, between you and an Uber,
I would definitely
pick you every time.
Well, thank you.
I'd like to see you again.
I'm pretty sure
we can arrange that.
My wives are gonna love you.
Wives?
Did I not mention that?
Uh, no. No, you didn't.
I'm pretty sure
I'd remember that.
Well, is that a problem?
Uh, yeah. It's a problem.
You're married to two women.
- To three women, actually.
- Three?!
Oh, is that supposed
to make it better?
- It's not?
- No, it's not.
This is wow.
This is next level.
- Enough, enough.
- Hey, hey. Tranquilo.
No, nope. I'm done.
- Tranquilo.
- Nope. I'm done here.
- Enough.
- Mi amor, stay.
Adios, Gregugug.
It's just two Gs, not three.
Well, I gave you one
for each wife.
Well, different people
speak differently.
I think you're just
giving up too easily.
Easily? He was a polygamist.
Okay. Well, he has
a lot of love to give.
How in the world
are you defending this?
He speaks Spanish.
No.
That was definitely not Spanish.
Okay. Well, maybe you're
just being a little too picky.
Why? Because I don't want
to date a polygamist?
Come on.
So what's the Peter situation?
He hasn't called.
I mean it's not like I'm just
waiting around by the phone
waiting for him to text
or call me.
Right. Let's not sit around
and wait for him to call you.
Go out on that ranch and get
back on that horse, girl.
You gotta listen to me.
Your analogies are cringeworthy.
And this is it, Molly.
I'm serious.
Two dates. Two.
And if I havent found someone
who is not completely insane
by then,
I am done dating for good,
and I'm just gonna get a cat.
- You hate cats.
- Well, then I'll get a dog.
- Oh.
- Oh, sorry.
- Oh, hey.
- Oh.
- Oh, I am so sorry.
- No, it's okay.
You are Christina, right?
- Nate.
- Yes.
Yeah.
Your beard, it's a lot longer.
- Yes. Yeah.
- Yeah. It's more full.
- Yeah.
- Hi.
Oh. Nope. Hi.
- Hi. Hi.
- Nice to meet you.
I feel so lucky. Just...
- Aw.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sorry about that.
No. It's okay. No damage.
No chemistry.
No. Zero chemistry.
- Unreal.
- I know.
I mean, I didn't really
understand it at all,
but what do we know?
Yeah. Well, it only won
the best picture.
No. I know.
- It doesn't make any sense.
- It doesn't make any sense.
Well, at least we're not
gonna get a sequel.
True. Or an American reboot.
I wouldn't count on that.
- Really?
- They do it for everything.
- I hope not.
- Hey.
I just have to say, it's so nice
that we were able
to sync up our schedules
because I don't really get
to go out very much.
- I agree.
- Yeah.
It has been nice.
Most of the time
when I'm getting home from work,
I'm so tired that all I do
is climb in bed
and just binge a series.
You know that is
my favorite thing to do?
- No way?
- Seriously. Yeah.
Wow.
So, I mean, how is it running
a HR department?
Oh, soulless.
But it pays the bills,
- so I do it.
- Yeah.
And you've never been married?
No. Close. Twice.
- Once in Vegas.
- Oh.
It was just one night.
And then the other
just didn't work out.
- Okay.
- How about you?
Oh, no. No. I'm, uh,
still haven't found Mr. Right,
but you never know.
You never know.
Yeah.
I... I gotta say,
normally, these dates,
I feel like I'm trying
to crawl out of my skin.
But when I'm with you,
I don't have to put on airs.
I can just be myself.
It's really nice.
Yeah. I agree.
Yeah.
Okay. I am stuffed.
- Yeah. Me too.
- Wow.
- This food is delicious.
- Yeah.
I mean, I think about
coming here all the time.
I don't know why I don't.
Well, I'm glad you
came this time.
Me too. And, I mean,
the company wasn't so bad.
- I agree.
- Mm-hm.
I actually know the owner.
We went to high school together,
so we're all paid up.
- Oh, thank you.
- Of course.
You know, I... I kept feeling
like I was waiting
for the sky to fall,
and it never did, so...
- Chicken Little.
- Chicken Little.
Have a great night.
Oh, when... when do you
wanna do this again?
I'm sorry?
No. I mean, we...
we had so much fun.
I was hoping that
we could do this again.
Oh. Nah, I'm good.
Wait. You're... you're good?
Uh, listen.
You are very nice
and great company, genuinely.
I had a great time with you,
but I just... I'm just
not feeling it, you know?
Wait. Wait, just so I'm clear.
You don't wanna go out
with me again?
Yeah. But, Christina, your...
you've got a great aura...
- Oh.
- About you.
Have a great night.
- Nate?
- Yeah.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
Okay.
Really nice?
Excuse me.
Am I being punked or...?
No?
You can't ignore me all morning.
Whatever you're bottling in,
it's not healthy.
Okay, I'm gonna ask.
I'm about to ask. Asking.
So how was the date last night?
That bad?
Molly, this might come
as a huge shock to you,
but it was actually
the best date I've ever been on.
- What?
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah. He was funny.
He was smart.
He asked me a lot of questions.
He was... he was really great.
Wait. Are you punking me?
Because you're not
the punking type.
No. I think actually
I was the one that got punked.
What went wrong?
He said that he didn't wanna
go out with me again.
- I don't understand.
- Yeah. That makes two of us.
But you said it went well.
- It did.
- So what did he say?
Oh, you're gonna love this.
He said, "Nah, I'm good."
Oh, and then he said
that he wasn't feeling it.
- Feeling what?
- Feeling the date, feeling me.
I don't know. All I know
is that he doesn't feel
like going on
another date again.
Wow.
Even I didn't see that coming.
Oh, that might be the one.
No, I'm not even looking.
What if it's Peter?
All right, fine.
Oh, good.
It's my new favorite thing.
Ooh, TikTok?
Baby pictures. Come here.
Aw, he's so cute.
Yeah, he really is.
- What's his name?
- Baby.
Ew, they named him Baby?
No, they're waiting.
For what?
They wanna get to know him more
and give him a name
that fits his personality.
It's a baby.
Don't even get me started.
Yeah, so we just call him baby.
Hopefully it doesn't
scar him later in life.
Aw. He really does have
Sophie's eyes and Brady's nose.
No. His face is smushed
and his eyes are blue now,
but they are totally
gonna change.
And I think it's crazy
that people think babies
actually look like
their parents.
That's ridiculous.
Christina, are you okay?
No. No. Molly, I'm not okay.
I'm confused,
and I'm frustrated,
and I'm under a lot of pressure,
and I'm kinda
running out of reasons
to get up in the morning.
I mean, I'm going on date
after date,
and each one
is worse than the other.
I mean, and for what? Why?
Why am I doing this?
For my mom?
Because of societal pressure,
I mean, this is not
a reason to do it.
And do not give me you have
to kiss a lot of frogs
because that
is such a crap clich.
And my life has actually
become a crap clich.
I mean, I know what I want.
Okay?
And I'm not gonna find it
on this stupid app, so I'm done.
I mean it, I'm done.
Feeling better?
Yeah. I actually am.
Good. Because you have
another date tonight.
Molly, did you not just hear
anything I said?
I know. It's been rough.
But just one more, for me.
And if it goes terribly,
I promise
I'll never mention it again.
I mean, it's not fun
for me either, you know.
One more?
One more. Twelfth date.
Fine. This is the last one.
- Okay?
- Totally.
- I'm serious.
- Oh, I am too.
Great. Well, let's
just get this over with then.
Oh, see? That's the spirit.
Hi. Ketel One soda
with a lot of limes.
- Thanks.
- Can you make that two?
Thank you, sir.
Is this... is this seat taken?
- Hi.
- Hi.
What are you doing here?
Um, I decided
that I need a drink
to escape the disaster
that is my house at the moment.
So what happened to you?
Last I heard, you were gonna
call me and then you didn't, so.
Right, I didn't,
and I am so sorry.
But to make a very long
and not so hilarious
story short,
my house nearly fell apart,
and I had to deal with the city,
and my dad had a bit of
a health scare down in Florida.
Oh, Peter, I'm so sorry.
I wish you would have told me.
I know. No, I didn't wanna...
Thank you.
I didn't wanna bother you
with all the family stuff
and then just had to deal
with the pipes in the basement,
which are just,
you know, they're old,
so I was kind of expecting...
Um... you looking for someone?
Yep.
Another date?
Mm-hm.
It's probably my last one ever.
Right. Lucky for you,
I saw a very handsome gentleman
right over there.
Really? Where? There?
Yeah, sat at like
the center table.
- Okay.
- Over there.
Or he was there.
Maybe he went to the bathroom.
Oh. Okay.
Well, at least
he washes his hands, right?
Always a plus.
It's good to see you.
Yeah, you too.
I hope this one
works out for you.
Yeah, thanks.
So, these are for you.
I'm... so...
I'm assuming that my date
is not in the bathroom?
Walter?
No, I... I don't think he is.
Call an ambulance at this point.
So you're Walter, hm?
I am Walter.
Which Molly picked that name.
She said that you hated
the name Walter?
Molly. Molly.
She's a sneaky little... and yes,
I really do hate that name.
All right, because
it is my middle name.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
But we can work
past that, right?
- I'm sorry.
- I'm kidding.
Nice.
Sorry, I've just been, um...
been waiting for this
for a very long time.
I... I don't know what to say.
Wow.
I've never said that before.
You don't have to say anything.
We can just sit here in silence
if you want.
Peter, I can't handle
another disappointment.
I know. And you won't.
Cause Im... I'm just crazy
about you, Christina.
You are?
Yeah.
Um, I'll be right back.
Just... right back.
Okay.
Hey, I just...
want you to know
I'm not going anywhere, okay?
Okay.
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Bridget?
Uh, what are you...
what are doing here?
I was about to ask you
the same thing.
I was... I was having dinner.
Yeah, I can see that.
Are you mad at me right now?
No, why would I be mad at you?
I just spent the last year
catering to your every need.
Well, that's because
I hired you to do that,
and this was a business,
truly business transaction.
No, Peter, you were supposed
to be with me.
We were supposed to be together.
Okay, Bridget, Bridget. Okay.
All right, I think there's
been a little bit of confu...
Uh...
Nice.
Christina? Hang on, hang on.
Let her go.
Let me go.
You've done enough.
Well, it's Christmas Eve
and I failed you.
No, Molly.
You did not fail me, okay?
I really thought
we could do this.
I know.
You even had me convinced.
I still think this
is all a mistake.
I know, and that
is what makes you you.
And I love you for it.
- I love you.
- Mm. Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas. Okay.
- Bye.
Bye.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Hey.
Merry Christmas.
Hi.
Oh.
It's not a funeral, you guys.
It's Christmas. Here.
Where's baby?
Aunt Chrissy needs
some cuddle time.
Hi.
And you don't have
to call him baby anymore.
We finally decided on a name.
Okay.
The winner is...
Brady Junior.
Brady Junior?
What about, like a name?
A man's name. Butch. Chuck.
They got a name.
What about Frank Junior? Frank.
- Okay.
- There's a name for you.
So, congratulations.
- Im so excited.
- Thank you.
Okay.
- Brady Junior.
- Yes.
Sweetheart,
why don't you take a seat?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bye, Brady.
- Okay.
- Allow me.
All right. Well,
you guys don't need to treat me
like I survived a crash,
all right?
I just had a rough week.
Can't a father show
a little love
and affection
to his little princess, huh?
Yeah. Okay. Well, you guys
are acting way too weird for me.
All right.
Well, I've decided I am not
gonna push that anymore.
You're gonna find love
on your own schedule, not mine.
Thank you, Mom.
- Well, let's eat then.
- Yes.
- Mom?
- Yes?
- Grace, honey.
- Uh-huh.
Lord, thank you for this food
on the table
and the love in this room.
And we want to welcome our
newest family members,
baby Brady Junior and Tyler
who is going
to make a great husband.
And Lord, I know I promised,
but please send a man
for Christina.
- Mom.
- I know.
I mean, just please, God,
show us a sign.
Maybe he'll walk in the door
right about now.
Holy crap, it worked.
Did you plan that?
No. I...
Okay. Well, is anyone
gonna answer the door?
- I'm not.
- Brady.
No. I'm afraid to.
- What?
- Hey, Tyler.
- What do you mean you can't?
- Do I have to do this?
Just go, Tyler.
Get it. Get the door.
Hurry up.
I... I swear this
was not planned.
- Who is it?
- Hi. Peter.
Peter Grant.
Tyler, do not answer that door.
If possible, I'd love to speak
with Christina.
Uh, I have something for her,
but if I could speak
with her inside.
Oh, for heaven's sakes,
open the door.
Mom.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Sorry to interrupt
your dinner. Hi.
Yeah. What are you doing here?
Uh, well, it's Christmas, obviously.
Um, and I was hoping
to maybe give you a gift,
if that would be okay.
- Yes.
- Of course.
Yes.
Okay. Let me uh...
I'm gonna get something, uh...
All right, boys.
Let's bring it in.
There you go. So you
can set it right over there.
That's your loveseat.
Yes, that is my loveseat.
Okay, you're giving it
to me why?
Because what is the point
of having a loveseat
if you don't have
anybody to love?
Look, I... I gotta come clean
about something.
I... I kind of... I... I
kind of lied to you.
So last year when I came
into your shop
and you nearly decapitated me
with a candy cane...
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
So I pretended
that I didn't know you,
but that's actually not true.
I knew you immediately,
and I just felt silly
because I felt the same way
that I did in high school,
which was that I'm...
that Im crazy about you.
Okay. So why did it take you
so long to tell me.
I was afraid.
So I was happy.
I thought I had
a really great life.
I've done the things
that I wanna do.
I've moved to this town
that I love.
I found this beautiful house
and I thought that that would
all be enough, right?
But it's not.
Because you literally fell
into my arms
and showed me how much better
my life could be.
What about Bridget?
Did you actually think
like me and Bridget were...?
- Yeah.
- You think, wow. Okay.
So she was clearly
crushing on me.
- You think?
- And then... yeah.
And when she saw
that you were watching,
she attacked my face.
So I don't think
it's gonna pan out between us.
And worst of all,
she hated this thing,
and she didn't see what you see.
She didn't see stories,
or memories.
I think what I'm trying to say
is if you'll have me,
I would like to create
some new memories with you.
This is where you kiss, hon.
Go ahead. Slow.
Got it. Okay.
Ooh.
Buddy. Buddy.
Your parents are right there.
I know. I know. Okay.
Okay.
There is one more surprise.
If you wanna come outside.
Okay.
Okay, I'll get your jacket.
Sure, yeah.
You guys are... okay, I guess.
What happened?
Where are we going?
I think it's gonna be good.
So exciting.
No. Way.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Your chariot awaits.
What do you think? Like it?
No.
I love it.
Bye.
Bye.
Look at the snow.
Youre the best date ever. Mwah.
What are you guys
still doing here?
The movie's over. Go home.
Go to your families.
Leave us alone.