The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024) Movie Script
1
Sorry. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Sorry about that.
-Oh. Sorry.
-Yeah.
No. That's my...
Hey, guys, I'm just gonna
squeeze past you here. Sorry.
Hi.
Hmm.
Hi.
Is that yarn?
Yes. Yeah.
Huh.
-Is it... is it yarn?
-It's y-- Yeah.
It's-it's yarn.
Thank you so much for coming.
-Slow night.
-Yeah.
You know, I-I don't really need
anyone to buy my art.
It would just be nice
if someone understood it.
May I offer you
another perspective?
Sure.
I do need people
to buy your art.
-I'm sorry.
-There's one collector left.
Go talk to him.
You know,
maybe my work is stronger
if I let it speak for itself...
-Go!
-Sure thing.
Uh, excuse me.
-Oh, thank you.
-Hi.
Actually, no.
S-Sorry, I'm not the...
Aren.
Does the last collector here
think you're a waiter?
Okay.
I'm canceling
your solo show next month.
No, no.
I already bought the materials.
I...
I spent $3,000 on yarn.
That may be, but if you
can't stick up for your work,
I can't do it for you.
Can you, can you help me?
The machine's being a dick.
Um...
Yeah, okay. Sure.
-What do you need?
-Can you get cash for me?
-My PIN is 310... -No, no,
you shouldn't tell me your PIN.
...555-0164.
Actually, I think
that might be a phone number.
Hold on.
Uh...
Where... Where's my card?
It's in the machine.
Oh, my God. Where's my...
Brad?
Someone stole my debit card.
It's-it's still in the AT...
-Help!
-No, no, no, no!
-Dude, dude! No, no, no.
-Whoa.
-No. -Dude, dude! You have
headshots in the morning.
He just stole her purse, man!
Look, she's got her purse.
But it was right there.
I'm sorry to bother y'all,
but...
did one of y'all
lose an earring?
Oh, my God, yes!
I saw it on my way over
to meet my friend here.
And let me just say,
I know it ain't his.
Oh, my God, thank you.
I would've been wearing one
earring like a freakin' pirate.
By any chance, are you all
going to get some food?
Yeah.
There's a barbecue spot
that just opened on La Brea.
My cousin runs it.
They got a killer review
in the LA Weekly.
I don't know anything
about that.
All I know is they pull pork
just like my grandma used to.
I love pork.
You tell them Roger sent you,
-and they'll bring out
the good stuff. -Thanks, man.
Hey, uh...
no hard feelings, man.
Yeah, no. Yeah.
You good?
Yeah, I c-- I could've sworn
that I had her bag.
Let's get off the street.
You know, these white
folks looking at you crazy,
-that doesn't bother you?
-It's no big deal.
-It's a goddamn menace.
-It's-it's annoying.
People looking at me
like I'm...
whatever exactly
they think that I am.
But, you know, it-it's not like
it happens every day.
So you saying
people don't look at you
like that every day?
Well, that happens every day,
you know,
if I go outside or whatever,
but it doesn't escalate
every day
is what I-- is what I'm saying.
Is that so?
I'm not living in fear.
I mean, is there fear?
Yeah.
Am I living in it?
-No?
-What?
You were just explaining
how none of this affects you.
I just, uh...
try not to think about it,
I guess.
Look, I don't want
to waste your time, Aren,
but I saw you at the gallery.
Right, yeah.
You were at the bar.
And I followed you because
I think you're very talented.
-My work?
-Uh, you mean the yarn thing?
No, that didn't make
no kind of sense.
But you?
You I get, and I want
to take you to a job interview.
Oh, no, I don't know anything
about bartending.
Second job.
You need money, right?
I need the yarn store to change
its return policy.
-Can it do that?
-Yeah.
-What?
-I mean, it pays good.
What is it exactly?
Officially,
it's a client services firm,
but unofficially,
we saving the damn world.
I don't really understand.
It's easier to show you.
-Here.
-Now?
Yeah.
-Okay. -You got
any medical conditions?
-Heart disease? Eczema?
-What?
N-No. Why would that...
What? Hmm?
-This way.
-Where are we?
D-Did I just black out?
I moved us a little.
You moved-- What?
Hey, yo, wait, wait.
Hey, Roger.
How y'all doing?
The hell is going on?!
Now, I'm probably supposed to
start slower with all of this,
but there's a recruiting class
starting right now,
and we got to get you in it.
Recruiting for what?
Welcome...
to the American Society
of Magical Negroes.
Over the next few days,
we'll introduce you to our work
and determine if any of you
are fit for membership.
Now, since every education
starts with the classics,
let's take a look at
some of our most accomplished
predecessors.
James Crampton, Savannah, 1923.
Watch his approach to the work.
Well, that's
a peculiar shot, suh.
Where'd you come from?
Oh, I was just
passing through, suh.
Or should I say Mr. Avery?
Hey.
How'd you know my name?
Well...
everybody in the state
of Georgia who like billiards
knows Beauregard Avery.
Is it true that you once
snapped your cue on the break
then ran the table
with one of the splinters?
I haven't played
since... the war.
You done lost your stroke.
-Excuse me?
-Uh, billiard stroke, suh.
You know, they say
a man's grip on his cue...
is like his grip on life.
Let me see how you holding it.
Now, see, you thinking 'bout
whether you gon' miss.
Maybe you missed a little bit
in your life.
But you can't
think on that now.
Now you gots to just
close your eyes
and get your stroke back.
Not bad, Mr. Avery.
Not bad.
Now, obviously, you'll be using
a more contemporary dialect
and a lot of other innovations
we've made since Jim's time.
But he was a master
of the fundamentals.
So, what did you notice about
Jim's approach to the work?
He doesn't make it
about himself.
It's always about the client.
Client service first.
What else?
He's really friendly.
That's crucial.
-Anything else?
-He's wearing suspenders.
Okay. Let's take a look
at another one.
Marcus Dunham, 1955.
Dead man walking!
This isn't right, Marcus.
Well, boss, it ain't about
the life leaving this world.
It's about the life
coming into it.
What do you mean?
I know that you and the missus
been having trouble
making life.
I'm just barely scraping by
in this job,
so it's hard to go home
and feel like a man.
Now, you listen here, boss.
Who snuck me that harmonica
so I could speak my soul
fore I go?
-I did, but...
-That took courage.
That was done by a man.
So when Mrs. Bossman
look at you tonight,
know that she looking at
the greatest man
in Kennebec County.
What about this one?
Anybody else?
The spiritual was a nice touch.
Perceived authenticity.
Your interests and hobbies
have to be authentically Black
as understood by the culture.
We're showing the client
the parts of ourselves
that make them feel good.
And nothing more.
Nope! Nope!
Mm-mm.
No, I'm sorry.
You can't conjure yourself
a steak dinner.
Magic only works
in the service of clients.
So if he's dieting,
you're dieting.
Mm-hmm. Uh, right.
If she knows that much, you'll
have to do a memory spell.
Mind if I take control
of your powers remotely?
Anything medical
requires physical touch.
Even if he's sweaty, yes.
No, that's me
controlling your powers.
-This is nice. Yeah.
-I like it.
-Not too tight?
-Not too tight, no.
Cause it's got to be nostalgic,
but it can't be
too sharecropper.
Oh, no, of course not.
We're not doing Roots.
Like a vice grip
on my heart...
How goes?
It's...
it's really interesting.
It's, um--
You know, the name needs
a little updating,
maybe like
"Magical Black People" or--
I guess that doesn't have
the same ring, but, uh...
What are you trying to say?
I'm not sure this is for me.
It really has
nothing to do with you,
and-and I'm sure the work makes
a ton of sense for you guys.
It just seems, you know,
for my personal taste...
It's a little, um...
-Please take me home.
-You ain't going home.
Holy shit.
It's bigger than you.
We've been around
since before this was...
Is this...?
Monticello.
-What?
-Yeah.
Secret wing.
Oh, okay.
-The truth is, Aren...
-I'm in Virginia?
...you've got talent.
Sorry, the building is gone.
Yeah.
And talent like yours
can do more to help Black
people than a hundred marches.
How?
It's easier if I show you.
No, no, no.
Last time you said that...
Aren, what's the most dangerous
animal on the planet?
-Sharks.
-White people.
When are white people
most dangerous?
When they're teamed up
with sharks.
When they feel uncomfortable.
Okay, were sharks
a part of it or...
White people
feeling uncomfortable
precedes a lot
of bad stuff for us.
White people move into
a neighborhood,
they feel uncomfortable:
gentrification.
-Okay.
-White cop sees a Black man,
feels uncomfortable:
another shooting.
Was a time when all you had
to do was look at a white man
and make him uncomfortable.
That was pretty much it
for you.
Yeah, I get that.
I'm just not the...
For some of us, the last thing
we see in this world
is an uncomfortable white man.
But I don't blame
white people for that.
I blame their discomfort.
That's why we here
at the American Society
of Magical Negroes
fight white discomfort
every damn day.
We are the vanguard
of white relaxation.
Black knights making sure
that they don't take it out
on a brother.
Because the happier they are,
the safer we are.
Wow.
You see that cop over there?
Far as we know, he may be
the next one to shoot
an unarmed Black man.
-Him?
-I didn't bring you here
for sharks, Aren.
I brought you here for this.
We are constantly monitoring
the happiness of every
white person in America.
And when one gets
too unhappy...
...they become a client.
Excuse me, Officer?
But they won't know
they're a client.
So you'll use
a white tears meter
to get a reading
of their distress levels.
And it will also let you know
when their distress
has returned to acceptable
white person levels.
Man, I looked in the mirror
this morning,
I swear to God,
I look more like my father
than I look like myself.
Well, it's like my grandmama
always used to tell me.
There's only two fighters
you can't beat:
Joe Louis and Father Time.
I just want to know
I still have it.
You know?
We're thinking about
going to a club tonight.
Like...
from music videos?
Really exclusive.
He and I can get in.
I mean, if you can...
maybe you're not
as far gone as you think.
I want to do that.
Look, Aren,
this is a one-night job.
Nice, easy client like we use
in trainings or on holiday.
But don't let that fool you.
Black lives are depending
on this.
Look, Roger, for me,
I don't think
that keeping white people happy
is as big a deal
-as you're saying it is.
-Oh, yeah?
Why are you so nice?
Because I'm friendly.
Because white people
will kill you.
Okay.
And I think you recognize this
in some way,
and now you're trying
to get out in front of it.
Roger, if I were hyperaware
of white people, I would know.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
Do you remember that white guy
that just passed us?
-Yeah.
-You're blocking his way.
I'm so sorry. I...
-That's not nice.
-Let's try a little experiment.
I want you to walk
in that crowd.
Why?
Well, it shouldn't be
a big deal to you
since you so good
with white people.
My mom's white.
I grew up with white people.
And I'm sure that didn't
mess you up at all.
So, I don't need to go.
You scared?
-No.
-Then go.
I-I don't want to go.
-You're scared.
-Okay, you know, fine.
I'll go.
For you.
Thank you.
I know you can feel
their discomfort, Aren.
It's the loudest thing
in every room you walk into.
Probably has been
your whole life.
What did you do to make them
look at you that way?
And what are they going to do
to you next?
White discomfort
is your nemesis, Aren.
Stop running from it
and start listening to it.
Hey, hey.
What's up, fellas?
Oh, man.
This place looks awesome.
There's no way I'm getting in.
Have you seen me?
-Give it a shot.
-It's not happening.
It was stupid
to even come here.
Ah! Stupid.
What was I thinking?
God, this is the outfit
that I pick.
I'm like,
"Oh, I'm gonna go to the club.
Let's get my club outfit
out of the closet."
-I bought new shoes...
-Don't look at me, Aren.
Look at him.
Only him.
Put everything out of your mind
and focus on
his pale-ass feelings.
As a member of the Society,
there's no more making sure
your hands are visible
just in case
or wondering if they're gonna
call the cops on you
for doing
totally normal things.
Now you'll know.
You'll know exactly
how distressed they are
and how to soothe them,
so you won't have to be afraid.
I see him.
Then go and comfort him.
They call me
a pencil-pushing nerd.
Hey.
Rules are important.
Listen.
Doesn't matter
how they look at you.
It matters how you look at you.
Yeah.
You're right.
Hey. Can we get in?
Actually, yeah.
Yes.
Guys, thank you.
Now, let's do this.
What did I just do?
You made your world
a safer place.
-I want to do that again.
-It's your job.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the president of the American
Society of Magical Negroes,
Dede Booker.
Do we seem like gods
to you, Aren?
Uh...
Flattering but untruthful.
In reality, we are only
as mighty as we are united.
You see, Aren,
our powers are collective.
If any member
uses magic selfishly,
fails to put
their client first,
all our powers fail,
and we cannot fail.
Every year of our existence,
the life expectancy
of Black Americans has risen,
and members of our society
live five years past that,
which brings us on par with...
...white nonsmokers.
And the privilege
and responsibility
was upheld by Rosie...
the Riveter's nanny
and Crispus Attucks.
He really took one
for the team.
And we can't forget Nancy Green
and her trademark syrup
that funds our work today.
So, understanding
this noble burden,
will you join?
Yes.
Well, I officially welcome you
to the American Society
of Magical Negroes.
-You ready?
-Oh, wow.
Um...
Yeah.
-Thanks.
-Thank you.
-Hello?
-Why aren't you here yet?
Uh, yeah, I just, uh,
I needed a second.
I have to brief you
on your first client.
Also, why am I
looking at a table?
Okay, I'll be right in
and we can talk.
-I'm sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry.
-It's okay.
-I wasn't looking and...
-It's okay. It's fine.
-Sorry. -You're fine.
Don't worry about it.
Can I buy you a new one?
Uh, yeah. Okay, sure.
-That's-that's nice of you.
-Okay.
Oh, my God,
I was looking for coffee.
I was looking to make sure that
I didn't spill coffee on you.
-Yeah, no, I wouldn't...
-And I realize that totally
looked like
I was checking you out.
I was not checking you out.
I wouldn't do that.
Yeah, okay.
I-I was not doing that.
I promise.
Okay.
I would. I would do that
if it was, like, uh--
You're beautiful,
and I-I would...
In a checkout-appropriate
situation, I would do that.
Well, what would be
a... a situation
where it's appropriate
to check me out?
No, like a date or a...
betrothal or--
I don't know what I'm saying.
It's-- I was really
just looking for coffee.
-It's okay.
-Thank you. Sorry.
I don't... I don't believe you.
-You don't believe me? Why?
-No. You just...
You just said that
you weren't checking me out,
and then you said I was pretty.
So how would you decide
that I was pretty?
There's a difference,
there's a difference between
-noticing how someone looks
and, like... -Okay. Okay.
...skeevily, like,
looking them up and down.
Okay, thanks
for letting me know.
And I didn't say
that you were pretty actually.
-I didn't say that.
-You did.
-I just heard what you said.
-No.
No, I said that you
were beautiful.
Okay.
-Okay.
-Yeah. No, I...
Okay, I believe you.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
It's a very nice thing to do.
Not check you out?
No, check me for coffee stains.
That's...
That's a very sweet thing
to do.
Well, I'm very nice.
It's-it's, like, a flaw.
Yeah? Says who?
Oh, thanks.
I didn't even check myself.
Yeah, am I good?
Hmm?
Am I coffee-free?
Oh, I don't know.
I was just looking at that ass.
Wow.
-Terrible.
-Yeah, you like that?
I'm sorry.
Uh...
Uh...
I'm s-- I have to go.
I'm so sorry.
Oh.
Sorry.
Your first client
is a Jason Mundt.
You'll be working with him
in graphic design,
where we felt your background
in yarn and shit
will come in handy.
Jason works at MeetBox,
the most influential social
media platform in the world.
Millions of white people
see his designs every day
as they post and like and do
whatever else they do on there.
You will be a deckhand.
That's one level below
a boatswain.
Come again?
Spelled "boat" "swain."
Yeah, but are we at sea?
Well, they felt
normal job titles
-were a bit too corporate.
-Okay.
His meter jumped dangerously
high Tuesday 4:00 p.m.
He was so upset
we considered sending in
a team of
rapid response Negroes,
but they were all my age
and really didn't understand
what MeetBox did.
So his morale is still
far too low.
Your job is to figure out
what caused the jump
and identify what he wants.
There's a lot of research
that if you spend
less time working,
you're actually more productive.
And that is why we've got
snacks, we've got games,
we've got cots
if you want to take a nap.
-Oh, that's great. -Yeah,
we also have a laundry service.
We've got a car wash.
You know, basically
you could just sleep here.
Do a lot of people sleep here?
You keep saying...
-Oh, no. No, no.
-Okay, cool.
Although I could use a nap.
I'm fine.
This is Jason.
-You're gonna work together
a lot. -Hey.
-Hey.
-No, darn it.
Um, I was hoping there was
a station right next to him,
but there's not, so why don't
you come downstairs with me.
-Oh, is this one spoken for?
-Hmm?
No.
Uh, why don't you
just settle in.
Great.
Looks like we're neighbors.
Yeah, I-I guess so.
You like games?
Guard-guard it.
Guard your goal.
-You better guard it.
-Okay. I'm-I'm trying.
You better guard it.
I'm close. I'm close!
-Oh!
-Okay.
-Damn.
-Yes.
-The streak is real.
-Got me again.
Three in a row.
-Whew.
-You practice this, don't you?
Yeah,
I got one of these at home.
-Lizzie.
-Uh, hey.
Hey.
I...
I... I-I...
I just started working here.
That's cool. Oh, my God.
I-I've worked here for a while.
-That-that makes sense
why you're here. -Yeah.
And I'm...
You guys know each other?
-No. We just met.
-No, I mean, like, we--
-I'm sorry. No, you go ahead.
-Sorry. No, uh, please.
-Uh, I'm Aren, by the way.
-I'm Lizzie.
-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
Um, did you get my notes?
No, no, I had to... go to this,
like, HR training and...
That's fine, but we should
get it done tonight
'cause then Masterson
might actually go home,
which at this point is
kind of a human rights thing.
Right. Yeah, no.
-No, yeah, I'll get it.
-Thank you.
It was nice
to meet you officially.
-Yeah, it's nice to meet you.
-So, I'll see you around.
See ya.
-So, uh, what's her story?
-Lizzie?
She's kind of my work wife.
-You okay?
-I don't know, man.
Like... I can't get
this layout to work.
-Hmm.
-What?
Your stroke is
a little hesitant.
I'm sorry?
Your keystroke.
-Oh.
-I mean, yeah.
Yeah, I've--
I don't know what's going on.
I just-- Something's off.
Like, I, uh...
Yeah, you know,
it's like the saying goes.
A man's grip on his...
keyboard is like
his grip on life.
-Who said that?
-Rosa Parks.
-Really? When... was that...
-Yeah, my point is,
something's going on
somewhere else in your life
can show up in your work.
-Hmm. -But then again,
you're the boatswain.
-What do I know?
-No. No, you're right, man.
Something's definitely off.
I just feel...
-Feel like what?
-Shaky.
-Mm.
-Like, I'm just not...
You know, like, when
you're trying to do something,
but you lost your keys
and you're like,
"I'm trying to focus,
but where are my keys,
-where are my keys, where are
my keys?" -Ah, I feel that.
So, that is not me.
Like, I always know
where my keys are.
They're in a bowl by the door.
Okay.
He's a perfectly fine designer,
but he's, like,
totally convinced
that he's on the fast track.
-Great. What else?
-He responds more to
'90s hip-hop slang
than Uncle Remus.
What about his Want?
I mean, those are all
great observations,
but we need to find out
what he's missing.
Honestly, I'm not sure.
You know, best I can tell
is that, for some reason,
his meter jumped
when his last project launched.
Is he close to anyone at work?
He has a work wife.
So, spend some time with her.
Get some intel.
With her? Yeah.
Yeah, I could do that.
It's Lizzie, right?
It's really good!
It's a shambles. It's terrible.
I feel like if I squint,
I can totally see
-the Chrysler Building.
-Oh.
It's supposed to be
the Empire State Building.
That's what I said,
-the Empire State Building.
-That's not what you said.
-Yes, it is.
You didn't hear me. -No.
-Wow.
-What?
There.
You added jumpers?
No, no.
They're, like...
They're, like, a couple.
-You know, in the movies.
-Oh.
That's really sweet.
Hey.
Uh, nice. Chrysler Building.
Hell yeah.
Masterson wants you.
Okay.
I will see you, gents.
-All right.
-Watch them for me.
You got it.
-Good luck.
-See you, guys. Bye.
Yo, who took my tugboat?
Okay.
Wow.
She's great.
-Yeah, she's cool.
-Are you kidding?
Come on, man.
She's-she's smart
and funny and she's--
Have you seen her work?
She's, like,
a ridiculous designer.
-Yeah. -She's, like,
the best designer here.
Yeah, she's definitely
the golden child.
You know, th-they're
actually saying that
about you, too,
around the office.
I hear that all the time about
how amazing of a designer
you are.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, y-you guys
are completely different.
You're-you're actually--
You-you work
really well together.
-You think?
-Yeah.
It's like you have such talent,
she has such talent.
It's like,
it's like a power couple.
Work-wise, you know.
MeetBox is under fire,
as new complaints emerge its
facial recognition technology
fails to identify Black people.
Critics say a lack of diversity
on the engineering team
may have contributed
to the issue.
And with public pressure
growing,
MeetBox founder
Mick Morton has promised
sweeping internal changes.
-Ahoy. -Ahoy.
-Ahoy.
When I dropped out of Harvard
to build MeetBox
in my parents' garage,
I remember thinking,
"I hope they don't
pull the car in."
I also remember thinking
MeetBox had to be
a platform for everybody.
Now, in the next few days,
you're gonna hear
the media claim
that we have failed at that.
You're gonna hear
outlandish accusations.
"Mick's biased.
"Mick's a racist.
Mick hates
the entire nation of Ghana."
That's not me.
It's not who we are.
We are the same company that,
last quarter alone,
partnered with
22 Black-owned vendors.
We are the same company that,
during the
George Floyd protests,
suspended operations
for 12 hours.
We're the same company
whose flagship office
has a world cuisine station
dedicated to the food
of the Caribbean
and occasionally Africa.
It's diverse, it's different,
it's yummy.
We like it.
That's who we are.
But to make it crystal clear
who we are,
I am thrilled to announce
that in the next 30 days,
we are relaunching
the MeetBox brand.
At a company-wide presentation,
our top design team will pitch
a MeetBox makeover.
We're gonna have a new logo,
a new slogan
and a new commitment
to the exact same values
that got us here.
-He's incredible.
-Hmm.
So that's Jason's Want:
to be like Mick.
Mick's a CEO.
That makes Jason
a five-, ten-year client.
And those are different.
Less magic, more listening.
Yeah, it's actually fun
and weirdly relaxing.
It's like being a secret agent
with none of the danger.
So, uh, I actually had
a question for you
about Jason's work wife.
Aren, just ask the girl out.
-Can I?
-We're not monks, Aren.
You're just scared to ask her.
-I'm getting to it, all right?
-When?
Tomorrow.
Okay.
-Dude.
-Whoa.
Thank you.
-You're welcome.
-Seriously, man.
It was like an epiphany.
I can't believe
I didn't see it before.
Sorry, what-what are
we talking about?
Lizzie.
-What?
-Don't play dumb, man.
I know what you were doing,
going on about her.
You were trying to...
you were trying to set us up.
No. No, no, no.
That's not what I was doing.
-I was...
-It's okay. It's cool.
I'm grateful because
you got me thinking,
"Why haven't we
gotten together?"
And then it hit me.
I'm into Lizzie.
Hey, man, you were, um,
you were pretty focused on
being like Mick.
I am.
You want both things?
I do.
-Isn't that cool?
-Yeah.
Clarity is dope, man.
Right.
-He wants both things?
-Yeah, can he even do that?
Yes, but a Double Want is not
ideal for your first client.
Okay, great, well, then
I'm just gonna focus on work
and let him
deal with his love life.
You know, the company's
about to do the big rebrand,
-and so I feel like...
-No.
You're going to concentrate on
both things at once.
And, Aren, I hope
I don't have to tell you this,
but you cannot have a romantic
relationship with Lizzie now.
Is that going to be a problem?
Because if you don't
put Jason first,
everyone's magic will fail.
I was hoping that was, like,
a team-building thing.
We're all in this together now.
So you have to set up
Lizzie and Jason,
and I have to drive around
this crotchety old white lady.
Oh. Lizzie texted me.
What should I say?
-Let's start with what
she said. -Okay, she said,
"Can I get
that timeline, please?"
What do you think it means?
Hey. You two talking about me?
-Hey.
-What's up? Hey.
Oh, my-- Wait, are you?
Yeah, actually, we were.
We were just, uh, wondering
if you wanted to get a drink
-with us after work, right?
-Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh.
Okay, yeah. That sounds great.
Um, as long as Jason
gets me that timeline.
Yeah, it's-- Yeah, it's chill.
Okay, great.
Let me know about drinks.
All right.
-Thank you.
-Yeah, you're welcome.
-Geez. -I'll just, uh,
I'll make up an excuse
-last minute, and then
you guys are all set. -What?
-All right?
-No, no. No, no, no, no.
You... You're coming.
-Why?
-Did you just see me?
"It's chill"?
-Okay.
-I've never said "chill."
All right, yeah, okay, fine.
I'll come for one drink,
all right?
-Should I send the timeline?
-Yeah, send it now.
-Send it? -You should
probably send it now.
So Jason and I
worked on it for a week,
-and then... -Yeah, and then...
and then Masterson
fell asleep
right in front of me.
Oh, my God.
That's pretty funny.
Your stories are
getting better.
-It was good, right?
-Yeah, it's good.
-I'm getting funnier.
-You're making my job easier.
-Maybe.
-Yeah.
Should we do another round?
-Should we do one more?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-Yeah, let's do it.
-Yeah? Okay.
-No, I got it.
-You got it?
-All right, thank you.
-Thank you.
...country music superstar.
In other news, the fallout from
MeetBox's facial recognition
scandal continues.
The technology required
to access the platform
has prevented
the entire nation of Ghana
from logging on
for several days.
Well, on the one hand,
it's been great for
my productivity at work.
But on the other hand,
it was quite racist.
The growing outcry
made its way to social media,
where the hashtag "Ghanagate"
has been trending...
I'm so sick of this, this whole
facial recognition thing.
God, I know.
It was a mistake.
Oh, no, I meant, like, I'm
just so sick of thinking about
how we all work for these
people who are responsible.
So what? So everybody who was
on that team is a bad person?
I didn't say that. Um...
Wait, did you--
Was that your last project?
Uh, yeah, yeah.
And we were doing our best,
you know, and...
I'm-I'm sorry.
I forgot that you were on that.
-No, it's... I don't care.
-Yeah.
I was just
blowing off steam about...
People are being
really sensitive right now.
You know,
it's a hot-button issue
-right now.
-Yeah.
That's totally
what I was commenting on.
-Right.
-You're not a bad person.
-Oh, not at all.
-Right. Right. Yeah, no.
-I'm sorry.
-No, it's fine, it's fine.
But, yeah, thank you.
You're good.
And, look, I mean,
would it have helped
to have people of color
on the team?
Maybe. Yeah.
But...
you know, it was
a really competitive project,
and no people like you made it,
so I don't know
what they want me to do.
I think, uh, you shouldn't
beat yourself up over it.
-Yeah. Exactly.
-That's the main thing.
Yeah.
Right.
And I'm not.
Like, I thought about it
for a few minutes
I'm moving on.
Cause you can't--
you cannot slow down
and listen to the haters and...
What?
No, I should've said something.
You did.
You-you said exactly
what I was thinking
-about the whole scandal.
-Yeah, and then
Jason got all guilty, and I
just, like, completely bailed.
I'm so stupid.
No, don't... it's...
You were trying to make him
feel better, you know.
We both were.
Yeah, well, now I feel worse.
I mean, don't you?
It's okay to...
pick your battles.
That's the thing. I feel like
I'm not really picking.
It just feels like this reflex.
Okay, that doesn't make sense.
No, actually that makes
perfect sense.
It's like when...
when someone sneezes,
how you say "Bless you"
without even thinking.
Only then you look up
afterwards,
and you're like, "What did I...
What did I just bless?"
-Yeah.
-Right.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's-it's one thing
to not stand up for myself,
but then when
I-I look over and I see
that you're uncomfortable, too,
it's just...
I should've said something.
Thank you... for saying that.
That's-that's really...
That's really nice.
I don't have a lot of people
that stick up for me, so...
Well, I didn't
stick up for you.
I just thought about it.
Well, Lizzie pulled me
aside this morning
and was rehashing
our conversation at the bar,
and apparently I upset her.
-Wait, what?
-I know.
But you weren't upset, right?
No, no.
Good.
-Wow.
-Right?
Cause I obviously care
very deeply
about this stuff, and I take it
really seriously, but...
Honestly, I didn't even know
she was, like, ethnic at first.
So, like, don't come at me
when you're...
you're me.
You know?
You gonna serve?
Uh, yeah. Sorry.
Um, are you and Lizzie
good, though?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, she was basically
flirting with me
by the end of it.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, she does this thing
where she, like,
touches my arm and...
-Easy.
-Sorry.
It's, uh...
You got any more balls?
-Yeah, I got one.
-Okay.
Our society began
as an informal commitment
amongst Monticello slaves
to help each other avoid
harsh punishment.
Now that I can see
white discomfort everywhere,
I'm starting to realize
all of this stuff
that it does to me.
Like, I apologize all the time.
-You really should hear this.
-Oh, sorry.
See?
And you were so right about
how I've been aware of this
my whole life.
Like, I was never really able
to explain my sculpture before,
but I-I think it's about...
Roger?
R-Roger?
Am I making sense?
You haven't been making sense
for quite some time.
Sorry.
Lizzie, your...
your work on the logo
has been just...
-just great.
-Aw.
I mean, it was
a team effort. I...
Well, I know that you did
all the heavy lifting, so...
-I do.
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
-Aw.
I just want you to know
how great you are.
-Thank you. Thank you.
-Yeah.
It's just, um...
our team is gonna be pitching
the logo to Mick himself.
-Mm-hmm.
-And I'm gonna ask...
I'm gonna ask Jason to do it.
But it's...
I'm sorry, that's my, um,
design, though, you know.
No, I know.
Uh, Jason's just better
in a room, and--
-He's great in a room.
-Um, is he?
-He's so charismatic and...
-He's loud and he's...
Well, it's a loud...
company, Lizzie.
Sorry, I just feel like
I've been, I've been asking you
-for something like this
for a long time. -Mm-hmm. Sure.
-And we... we talked about this
in my review. -Sure.
This particular design
means a lot to me, and...
Okay, well, I'm up for
Rear Admiral this year.
No, Lizzie, Rear Admiral.
-Okay, yeah, um...
-And we should just really
support each other right now.
-Yeah, so...
-I heard about that.
That's great.
It's a big presentation,
and Jason's just a better fit
for this audience.
-You'll be fine.
-No, that's okay. Um...
Oh, Masterson's calling me in.
I'll meet you
and Lizzie at the bar.
All right.
Hey.
I'm sorry, I-I actually--
I have to head home.
-What's wrong?
-Nothing's wrong.
-You okay?
-Yeah.
-Oh.
-Shit, um...
Thank you.
Look, um, we don't
have to go to the bar.
We can just walk
in that direction and talk.
Sorry, I'm just-- I'm not
super, uh, fun right now.
It's okay.
No, I'm really, uh...
I'm no fun.
I think, uh, this is fun enough
for the both of us.
Oh, my God.
Is this a ring that says
"So swag"?
Okay, you love that.
-It's very fun.
-That was a gag gift.
-So...
-It's almost too fun.
-"So swag."
-Okay.
Um...
A short, un-fun walk?
All right.
Completely joyless.
It's my job to support Jason,
in more ways
than you can imagine,
but, I mean, I don't know.
I think
I'm a good designer also.
You're the best of us.
-I mean, I don't,
-I don't know if I'm the best,
but, like... -No, you are.
I went to RISD
with some great designers,
-and you're killing it.
-Thank you.
-I mean that.
-That means a lot.
Thank you. I...
Like, if I'm being honest,
I kind of...
I kind of think that, too.
And that's, like,
this whole thing for me.
Like, it's taken me years
to just be able to say, like,
you know, "I think,
like, I, as a person,
do not suck fundamentally."
And it's...
This place is supposed
to be a meritocracy, so...
Mick? Like, Mick is
a free market psychopath.
If there was a way to promote
with blood sport,
oh, my God, he'd be
throwing us in the pit,
like, left and right.
And I'm just saying,
"Put me in the pit.
-Like, I'm there."
-Yeah.
"I'm committed.
I'm-I'm good."
Can I just say,
you're kind of a badass...
right now.
I mean, at all times,
-but specifically right now...
-Thank you.
...because I feel like--
I keep thinking this
because, uh, with me,
when I lose an opportunity,
I'm like, "Yeah, that's right.
That makes sense.
And goodbye
and thank you so much."
-And you're-- right now,
you're, like... -Wait.
This...
-I don't even have the word
for it. -But why?
That how much I don't have it.
You went to RISD. I mean...
-That's different.
-No, it's not at all.
That's like the Harvard
of finger painting.
That's how they sell it.
It's on all the pamphlets.
Exactly. I mean, it's...
Yeah, it's amazing
to even get in there.
-What did you study?
-Sculpture.
-You did?
-Mm-hmm.
You still do it?
No. Not really, um, anymore.
I, uh...
I used to love it,
but it's sort of similar
-to what you were saying.
-What?
I couldn't decide if I was,
like, really good
and other people didn't get me
or if I was, like,
a lunatic
making yarn sculptures.
-Yarn sculptures?
-I know, I know.
Sculptures with yarn?
-Yeah.
-Do you have pictures?
-I do.
-Yeah?
Um...
-They don't really work in 2D.
-Oh, my God.
-And they're too small
on this screen. -Are you sure?
-Let me see.
-Come on!
This looks so cool.
Yeah, you don't really get the
feeling that you get in person.
Uh, okay, so if it was, like,
right in front of me,
what would I be feeling?
Calm.
Quiet.
Kind of like how I imagine
meditating is supposed to feel
but you can never
actually pull off.
Okay, so it's-it's,
like, relaxing?
I'm doing a terrible job
of this.
-Why are you making me do this?
-No, you're not.
You're not.
Yeah, um...
I think my pieces are about...
comfort.
Mm-hmm.
Not like my shoes
are comfortable,
but deep social ease.
Like, I saw this Wall Street
bro get mugged one time.
-Uh, okay.
-It's an example.
-Okay. Okay.
-Deep social ease.
Uh, but when this guy
got mugged,
he was so surprised.
Yeah, I mean, isn't that
kind of essential to a mugging?
But no, it was the way
he was surprised.
It was...
Like, right before the mugging,
he was so sure that the world
wasn't gonna come for him
that it took him
a super long time to realize
that he was getting mugged.
I swear to God
that for a split second,
he thought the knife
was a present for him.
Like, in his mind, it was
more likely that a stranger
would give him
a random gift...
than that they would
try to hurt him.
Totally. Yeah.
And I-I want to know
what that would feel like
to have that expectation
of the world.
Just for a second.
Like I'm...
floating in salt water,
and I can just relax.
Well, what makes you
feel like that?
Peruvian wool.
And...
when people are talking to me.
-Like, me specifically.
-Mm.
Not an idea of me but
the person that I actually am.
And when does that happen?
Is it weird to say now?
Sorry.
-Hey.
-You sitting down?
I was.
Dude, I get to pitch Mick
in front of the entire company,
everyone.
-That's awesome, man.
-Like, I knew it was coming,
and this is it, it's here,
and I'm bringing you
along with me.
And I just emailed you a temp,
so you think you can, like,
work your magic
like you did last time?
Yeah. You got it. No problem.
Thanks, man.
Sorry, I've got to go back
to work.
That's okay.
I should actually...
I should go, so...
Thanks for the walk.
Yeah, anytime.
-I'll see ya.
-See ya.
A farm subsidy's not welfare
because farmers aren't lazy.
You know?
And that's why you have nothing
to be embarrassed about.
Normally, I would be
floating above you, godlike,
with magic powered by a hundred
Negroes working as one.
But today, Kyle here had to get
an actual chair for me.
Why? Because someone here
defied the Society.
Our powers shut down
because someone here
made it about himself.
Who was it?
Brutus and Kyle have
had to carry this thing around
like common laborers.
Brutus went to Dartmouth.
He doesn't need this shit.
And Kyle went to...
Kyle?
Baby, where'd you go again?
Cornell, ma'am.
Still technically Ivy.
Who did it?
Tonya?
Tell us of your crimes.
I told my client about himself.
Not much.
It was just like,
"Hey, you may want to revisit
that foundational paper
in our field."
Was that all?
And I may have sworn at him
a little.
He's never read it.
He cites it,
but he's never read it.
I've heard enough!
I hereby ban you
from the American Society
of Magical Negroes.
You will receive
a mind-erasing spell
that will take away any and all
recollection of your time here.
And then, Tonya,
you will receive
the most severe sentence.
You will be forced to live
in America...
No.
...as a...
regular Black person.
We're working to get our powers
up as soon as possible.
Normally, Tonya would have
helped with that.
What a waste.
To Tonya.
She is...
was...
the smartest of us.
-She's not dead, though, right?
-Probably not.
But without our standard-issue
charm against hate crimes,
the worst could've happened.
Like she stepped
out of our door
and walked
straight into a Nazi.
I didn't mean to put you off
like that.
No, no, it's...
I don't recruit.
Usually, I don't work
with the new members like that.
Really?
Dede says I'm too stern.
What?
That's what I said.
I'm likeable.
So, uh, why me?
I'll give you a compliment.
Watching you walk through
a room full of white people
is the most painful thing
I've ever seen.
Mm, thank you.
I called Dede right away
and said,
"I'm going to work
with this young man myself."
You know, uh, I just realized
I never actually, uh,
thanked you for helping me out
that night.
You don't have to thank me.
Still.
You can thank me
by doing a good job.
Okay.
-Hey.
-Hi.
Is everything okay?
Yeah.
I mean, I was not okay
last night,
and you were really sweet
about it.
So it's your turn.
-Yeah, I'm good.
-Okay.
I can't believe
you haven't played this before.
Yeah, I know. It's-it's fun.
Oh, my God.
-I know, right?
-Wow.
Look, he's, like,
all burned up.
-You can, like, pick up
his lung. -Okay, yeah, let's...
Hey, actually, um...
I actually had a suggestion
on the Lizzie front.
-Yeah, shoot.
-I was thinking
that you could ask Lizzie
to present with you.
Why? I mean, I do the talking,
you run the deck.
What else do we need?
Well, Lizzie's
a great designer,
and, you know,
it's a nice gesture,
especially for someone
that you're into.
Yeah, but it's not fair.
No.
You'd still have plenty
of face time with Mick.
No, it's-- I mean,
it's not fair to Lizzie.
What-- I-I don't follow.
Well, I mean,
if you give somebody a break
and they haven't earned it,
you're just setting them up
to fail down the line,
so it's not fair to them.
So you don't think
Lizzie's earned it?
Well, I mean,
Masterson did come to me, so...
Yeah, true, but it could've
been either of you.
-Could it?
-Yeah.
Well, I mean, I can only
speak for me, and I got it,
so I must have put in
the right amount of work.
Well, what if Lizzie put in
the exact same amount of work?
But she didn't get it.
So the fact that you have it
is proof that you deserve it?
Kinda.
Pick up that rapier there
and just stab them in the nose.
I mean, sure, there's luck
and talent and stuff,
but I feel like mostly
people get what they work for,
and I got it, Lizzie didn't.
But don't other things
contribute to your success?
Like what?
Like if people treat you
like you're gonna be successful
your whole life,
don't you think that makes it
easier to succeed?
-Like, me specifically?
-Sure.
Well, I was gonna succeed,
so they would've been right.
Uh, but what if
they treated you
like you weren't gonna succeed?
Well, why would they? I was.
It's a hypothetical, Jason.
Well, I would've been like,
"Back off, haters." Like...
Okay, but that's
a really confident attitude,
and if you were being undermined
your whole life...
Well, I'm confident, so I
wouldn't let them undermine me.
But I'm saying, like,
what if your confidence
isn't actually yours,
it's just something
that you learned how to do
in response to how people
have treated you?
Like, for me-- and I'm not
actually sure
how this happened--
but I feel like, at some point,
I got taught
that other people...
-Dude, pump the brakes, man.
-Uh, my bad. I'm not trying...
No, pump the brakes
on the Humvee.
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow.
Nice, nice!
Whew, I thought we were
gonna overshoot it. Nice.
Whew. What were you saying?
Uh, um...
Nothing.
-Holy shit, you almost died.
-Yeah.
Were you looking for anything
specific?
Just... inspiration.
-Yeah.
-Tough client.
Well, anytime Oscar here senses
a really extreme reaction
from one of the clients,
good or bad,
he starts recording to a disk.
And the full disks
are archived here
so we can look back
at these moments.
Usually, these are
our finest work.
Like, the most recent one
we caught was...
Huh. All right, um...
No one seems to have labeled
the last one.
And that's why you have nothing
to be embarrassed about.
Um...
Um...
-Excuse me.
-Sure.
I can't wait
to see this picture.
Nah, that, uh,
that didn't come out.
Let me take it again, okay?
You guys ready?
'Cause this is the one.
He was my... second client.
And she was...
Well, I mean, she was Annie.
First he fell for her,
then I fell for her,
and then I did my job.
You ever regret it?
Regret is for white people.
I don't think
that's how it works.
Well, not according
to my grandma.
Oh, you're gonna quote
your wise Black grandma to me?
To me?
Yeah, but this is my real one.
Okay.
See, my daddy...
he used to shine shoes.
And this one day-- I must have
been five, six years old--
I went to town to see him.
And I was running toward him,
all excited.
But before I got to him,
this white man looked down
from the chair above him,
and he just spit on his head.
He spit on him.
He said something about...
my daddy needed
more spit in his shine.
And I just froze.
I mean, my daddy had a temper.
So I'm saying to myself,
"Ooh!
He's about to whoop the shit
out of this white man."
Mm.
But instead, he wiped the spit
off of his head,
and he looked up at him
and he smiled.
And I ran home crying,
thinking about that smile.
When I finally ran into
my grandmother, I told her
how ashamed I was of my daddy,
and she got real still.
And you know what she said?
What?
"If your daddy come home
alive today...
...he ain't got nothing
to regret."
So have I lost some things
to this work?
Some pride?
Her?
Yeah.
But I never regretted
one smile.
Because I'm still here.
And so many of us ain't.
But what do you do about the
little part of you that dies
every time you smile like that?
What, you'd rather go
all at once?
-No, I just...
-It's just pride, Aren.
-Feels like more.
-Well, that's 'cause you didn't
let her go
like I told you to do.
How'd you know that?
Of course I know
all about that.
I'm pretty much a wizard.
Fair enough.
You'll get another client,
and she will fade.
Then why do you keep
a picture?
So she doesn't.
That sounds awful.
Well, it's better than
the alternative.
If you do anything to interfere
with her or your client,
you could have
your memory erased.
You won't even remember
she existed.
I'm sorry, son,
but this is the job.
Hey, Lizzie?
-Hey.
-Hey.
I just wanted to apologize
for being weird the other day.
No worries.
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
But, um, I really...
I really do want to be friends.
And I want to say that
out loud to you
because I...
I feel like we had a...
"We're actually gonna be
friends" night,
and then I was weird about it.
Um, yes.
Totally.
So...
friends?
Yes.
Are we friends?
Of course we're friends.
-Yeah. Wait, I don't...
-Friends.
-It's formal, but...
-Yeah.
Seal the deal. All right.
Um, I'm gonna get back
to work, okay?
-Okay. Okay.
-I'll see you around.
Hey, Aren.
Hey, what's up?
I'm sorry, I just...
I know you just said
that we had a...
uh, "We're actually gonna be
friends" kind of night,
but that's...
...that's not
what I would call it.
What-what would you call it?
Um, we had a moment.
Didn't we?
And I guess I just figured that
you were, you were acting weird
because it was, uh,
it was too soon,
um... or it was too much,
um, or because I outrank you.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I could order you
to do stuff.
So am I crazy?
No.
Thank you.
We had a really lovely moment.
But?
But... I...
...just started this job,
and...
I'm sorry...
Don't be sorry.
Um, no, I'm sorry.
I sh-shouldn't have brought it
up at work. That's...
We're friends.
-We're friends.
-Friends.
-Friends.
-Okay.
Okay, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna go home,
but I'll... I'll see you.
-Okay.
-See ya around.
All right, see ya.
There's a tension here.
Black... but palatable.
Because they don't want to know
how much it costs you
to navigate them.
The sadness behind your eyes
every time you smile.
The lump in your throat
from everything you didn't say.
We're showing the client
the parts of ourselves
that make them feel good...
...and nothing more.
-Hi, uh...
-Yo, presentation day.
Hey, let's meet 30 before.
Also, big news
on the Lizzie front.
-Yeah?
-Yeah, yeah.
I, uh... as soon as
the presentation's over,
I'm asking her out.
-You there?
-Mm-hmm.
Did you hear the part about
how after the presentation
I'm asking her out?
-I'm so sorry. I-I, um...
-All good.
Anyway, I got a great plan
to ask her out,
but I'm gonna need your help.
What was that thing
that you said last week
that made her laugh?
I think it was about a...
Hi. This is
Lizzie. Leave a message.
-Hey, Lizzie, are you at work?
-Hey!
-I need to talk to you.
-Watch where you're going!
You close?
Don't want to be
"that boatswain,"
but, uh, you're late.
Hey, man,
you got an ETA?
Uh, where-where you at?
What? LaCroix?
No, he's not
a dockworker, Tyler.
Go get the one with
the fresh fruit squeezed in it.
Run!
Mick, hi. Jason.
What an honor.
All we are really is
just bags of meat, you know?
In a box.
Okay, Linda. Linda, Linda,
Linda, Linda, Linda, Linda.
-Is your team all set?
-Yes, Mick, it's, uh--
-Of course. Of course.
-That's great.
You have
a very bright future here.
Wow, I think
I just left my body.
-Are we set?
-Yes.
-Okay.
-Yeah.
Ahoy.
Thank you all so much
for coming.
Or rather not coming,
because we are live streaming
this to your desks.
We read a study in
the Harvard Business Review
that said
gathering in large groups
leads to too much fun!
And unions.
So we're gonna have fun
from wherever we are.
And I would like to hear you,
one at a time.
First up, Los Angeles!
Seoul!
Dude, where have you been?
-The presentation is starting.
-I can't talk right now, man.
-We're about to go on.
-Have you seen Lizzie?
She'll be at the presentation.
Come on.
Uh, the other day,
I was bidding on
a first edition
of The Fountainhead,
and I lost.
Now, those of you who know me
know that I hate losing.
Okay?
But in the end,
it was kind of exhilarating,
cause it reminded me
of my drive to win.
Now, Ghana-gate...
reminded us that
we have to double down
on connecting with everybody.
Design will help them
find their bliss.
-I don't see Lizzie.
-Just find her after.
No, it's urgent.
I'm having a moment of clarity.
Hey, hey, there's nothing more
urgent than this presentation.
Look, I'm just
clicking the slides.
If I'm not back in time,
you can do it on your own.
-No, you have to be there.
-Why?
-Because you do.
-I'm just pressing a button.
-Do I have to spell this out
for you? -Yeah, apparently.
So this whole rebrand
is about diversity.
Now, without further ado,
please join me
in welcoming to the stage
L.A. design team head
Linda Masterson!
Thanks so much, Mick.
Well, I think it's safe to say
that every crew is
only as good as their captain.
And with Mick at
the helm, it's pretty clear
we're not gonna be hitting
any icebergs anytime soon.
These may not
seem like MeetBox words.
They may not be carved
on the hull of values.
But I would argue...
Hey.
-Hey.
-I, uh...
I didn't like that.
What?
That thing you said,
I didn't like it.
Okay.
I felt like you were saying
that I'm only here
because of my race.
-I didn't like that.
-What?
And I needed to say that
out loud.
Whoa.
I feel crazy
just blurting that out.
That's... Wow.
Whoa.
Just once, I wanted to say
what I thought,
-no matter the consequences.
-I'm not racist.
What?
-I'm not racist.
-Oh, no, no, no, no.
That's not what I'm saying.
I was just trying
to tell you how I felt,
which is actually
pretty big for me,
cause I usually only
worry about how you feel...
'Cause I would never say
anything racist.
No, I'm just talking about me.
I don't have a racist bone
in my body.
Sorry, I'm actually having a
moment of real personal growth,
and so-- no offense--
I don't really care if you're
racist on a skeletal level.
Whoa, we can't just,
like, throw that shit around.
All right?
It's like a death sentence.
No, getting shot
is a death sentence.
-You know what I mean.
-No, I don't totally.
You did say a thing.
You said
you only needed me onstage
-because I'm diverse.
-No.
-No, I didn't.
-Yes, you did.
No, no, I said
the presentation
is about diversity.
That... that's semantics.
-That's-that's not
what happened. -I'm sorry...
-I'm sorry you heard it wrong.
-I-I was just there. That's...
If what you're saying happened,
then I'm racist,
and I'm not racist,
so it couldn't have happened
how you said it happened.
So because
you don't want to feel bad,
the thing that just happened
didn't happen?
That makes it sound crazy.
-That's because it's crazy.
-Can we...
Can we just please
focus up here?
And now Jason Mundt.
-I don't care if you're racist.
-Dude.
-Everyone's racist.
-Aren.
I care that you won't
acknowledge what just happened.
I'm sorry you're offended, okay?
I mean, how can we move forward
-until we acknowledge...
-I apologize. You hear me?
This is me apologizing.
...the basic facts
of the situation?
Are they lovers?
I don't think so.
-I'm not asking for
reparations. -I did all of it.
-I'm not asking for you
to apologize. -I did racism.
-I did slavery.
-I'm just asking for...
If I could just do
this presentation,
-that would be great.
-I'm sorry,
-did you say you did slavery?
-Uh...
Like, as an institution?
-How did we get there?!
-I'm just, I'm just gonna...
All you had to do was listen
to me and the thing that I was
saying about myself!
-Hey, what's happening?
-For Christ's sake...
I don't know.
He's freaking out.
...there's a section
of the presentation called
"Diverse Experiences."
It's a dumb title,
-but it's in there.
-Okay, Mick, I've got this.
-You couldn't be less
interested... -Um, excuse me.
-Oh, you want to get in
on this, Mick? -Uh, fellas?
Yeah, I think I might be able
to help out with this.
-Just go.
-All right. Ahoy, MeetBox.
Oh, you think
you understand me?
-Uh, yeah.
-Mick,
-you don't understand other
people. -And my name is Jason.
You own an island.
-Right. -I'd like
to get started...
-No one with an island has
empathy. -Just stop.
It's not possible
to possess both things.
-Right.
-Dude, stop.
Okay, I'm so sorry.
Why are you doing this?
We're friends.
You're not my friend.
And you don't want
to be friends,
because if we were
actual friends,
you would have to talk to me
and listen to me
and make space for the reality
that I live in a country
that makes me feel
like it wants me dead.
-What?
-What?
Where if I get shot today,
there is an army of people
ready to explain how it was
-probably my fault.
-Probably?
-And I feel that every day.
-Aren, the diversity section
-of this whole thing is coming
later. -In every glance,
in every movie that's
supposed to be uplifting.
-And maybe less about death.
-And that changes everything.
Because death and diversity
don't really have anything
-to do with each other, so...
-That changes how I walk
and how I talk
and how I take up space!
Or don't!
I got this. Okay.
It changes
what risks feel reasonable
and which ones are insane.
And it's taken me my whole life
to realize that this is
a weight
that I walk around with
-all the time.
-Hi.
-My name is Jason, and I...
-And after this
lifelong journey
of figuring out
that maybe this shit
impacts everything I do...
Linda, you-you're not Jason.
You can't do that.
...you want to turn around
and act like I'm crazy
for acknowledging it.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no. You don't
get to put me in danger
just because you don't want
to feel like an asshole.
Young man, young man.
-Be the asshole.
-We have forums...
Mick, hold on a second.
-Jason!
-I beg your pardon?
Because the shame
that you feel like
you did something wrong
just by being yourself,
-that is my whole life.
-You know what?
-You know what, everybody?
-And this place...
-this country...
-This is MeetBox.
...has been
so deeply indifferent
to whether or not I exist...
...that on some level, I don't
think I have the right to.
And what I am saying to you
that you so steadfastly
refuse to hear...
It's the Mick way.
It's the MeetBox way.
...is fuck that!
I do!
I deserve to be here.
Not just on this stage
but in this world.
And that, believe it or not,
is a revelation to me.
So you want to know about
my-my "diverse experience"?
I have been on this planet
for 27 years,
and I just figured out this week
that I deserve to be alive.
I didn't know that.
Me neither.
-Hi.
-Hi. That was...
I'm gonna move us a little.
What?
So, I'm gonna go soon,
-and I-I can't explain.
-Oh, my God.
But even though we might
never see each other again,
I need you to know
that you're not crazy.
What we had was real.
And as long as I've known you,
I've wanted to do this.
Aren?
Aren Mbondo.
We have seen your crimes
on the MeetBox stage,
crimes that have
endangered everyone
and kept me
at this miserable height.
What happened after
you left the auditorium?
I teleported my client's love
interest to a romantic location
where I tried to kiss her.
In my defense,
I had feelings for her first,
and he kind of
colonized my crush.
How can you possibly justify
your behavior?
I guess I've always felt like
it's my job
to make white people
feel comfortable,
and obviously,
here it literally is,
but...
it shouldn't be.
I get it though...
Aren,
you are hereby banished
from the American Society
of Magical Negroes.
Makes sense.
You got a history
of concussions?
Because technically
this spell is brain damage.
I'm okay.
-Are you gonna...
-Just give me a second.
Um, yeah, okay.
You know you're not
gonna be able
to take care of yourself
out there?
Um... I'll be fine.
Okay.
Shit.
What? What's...
I think you must have
gave somebody notions.
I could really use a hand here.
I don't think you really
understand the welfare state.
What?
But it's got to be
a two-way street.
I can't be the only one
grabbing crotches around here.
You've got to check in
on my penis as well.
But this shutdown
feels different. Big.
-Did I just put you
out of a job? -Oh, no.
Being a magical Negro
isn't just about magic.
As long as there are
fretful whites,
we will be here.
All right.
Uh... I'm gonna go.
But what you gonna do for work?
Uh...
Actually, I have an idea
for a new piece.
The yarn?
You do remember
nobody liked it?
Yeah, but I do.
Well, if I'm letting you out of
here with your memory intact,
you better text me tonight.
Okay, sure.
And none of that emoji shit.
I need words.
I'm curious to see how you
gonna make it out of all this.
Make it out of what?
You didn't leave her in L.A.
Oh.
No.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Aren, what is going on?
You just left me here
and you just disappeared?
-I'm on the...
-Excuse me!
...on the Empire State Building.
What is going on?
Um, okay, great.
So, I'm, like,
on the Brooklyn Bridge now
on the way to the airport,
uh, and I guess
I'm in New York.
I, uh, landed in L.A.
Um, I'm in a car home
right now.
Um, can you just--
can you give me a call
and let me know
that you're okay?
Lizzie.
Hey. I'm so sorry.
I didn't realize
that when I left...
I, uh...
Uh-huh?
Ah.
Hi, uh, Aren.
Um, I feel terrible
about leaving you in New York.
That was not
what I was planning on.
Mm-hmm.
So, do you have powers or...
No, right. Okay, that's
a, that's a fair question.
I'm part of this magic society--
Or-or I was.
I just quit, so...
Good on me or...
You're kidding.
Nope.
Which is such a crazy
coincidence, because I'm...
I'm also a part
of a magic society,
and I was about to quit.
Yeah, okay, that's funny.
-I-I deserve that.
-No, really.
But first I thought
I would kidnap you
and leave you
on the Space Needle.
No, I was...
I was trying to be romantic.
All right.
Just walk with me, then.
-That sounds much nicer.
-Okay.
Maybe no more magic.
Yeah. No more magic.
Oh, and you still
owe me a coffee.
Can I help you?
Oh. Okay.
Sorry. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Sorry about that.
-Oh. Sorry.
-Yeah.
No. That's my...
Hey, guys, I'm just gonna
squeeze past you here. Sorry.
Hi.
Hmm.
Hi.
Is that yarn?
Yes. Yeah.
Huh.
-Is it... is it yarn?
-It's y-- Yeah.
It's-it's yarn.
Thank you so much for coming.
-Slow night.
-Yeah.
You know, I-I don't really need
anyone to buy my art.
It would just be nice
if someone understood it.
May I offer you
another perspective?
Sure.
I do need people
to buy your art.
-I'm sorry.
-There's one collector left.
Go talk to him.
You know,
maybe my work is stronger
if I let it speak for itself...
-Go!
-Sure thing.
Uh, excuse me.
-Oh, thank you.
-Hi.
Actually, no.
S-Sorry, I'm not the...
Aren.
Does the last collector here
think you're a waiter?
Okay.
I'm canceling
your solo show next month.
No, no.
I already bought the materials.
I...
I spent $3,000 on yarn.
That may be, but if you
can't stick up for your work,
I can't do it for you.
Can you, can you help me?
The machine's being a dick.
Um...
Yeah, okay. Sure.
-What do you need?
-Can you get cash for me?
-My PIN is 310... -No, no,
you shouldn't tell me your PIN.
...555-0164.
Actually, I think
that might be a phone number.
Hold on.
Uh...
Where... Where's my card?
It's in the machine.
Oh, my God. Where's my...
Brad?
Someone stole my debit card.
It's-it's still in the AT...
-Help!
-No, no, no, no!
-Dude, dude! No, no, no.
-Whoa.
-No. -Dude, dude! You have
headshots in the morning.
He just stole her purse, man!
Look, she's got her purse.
But it was right there.
I'm sorry to bother y'all,
but...
did one of y'all
lose an earring?
Oh, my God, yes!
I saw it on my way over
to meet my friend here.
And let me just say,
I know it ain't his.
Oh, my God, thank you.
I would've been wearing one
earring like a freakin' pirate.
By any chance, are you all
going to get some food?
Yeah.
There's a barbecue spot
that just opened on La Brea.
My cousin runs it.
They got a killer review
in the LA Weekly.
I don't know anything
about that.
All I know is they pull pork
just like my grandma used to.
I love pork.
You tell them Roger sent you,
-and they'll bring out
the good stuff. -Thanks, man.
Hey, uh...
no hard feelings, man.
Yeah, no. Yeah.
You good?
Yeah, I c-- I could've sworn
that I had her bag.
Let's get off the street.
You know, these white
folks looking at you crazy,
-that doesn't bother you?
-It's no big deal.
-It's a goddamn menace.
-It's-it's annoying.
People looking at me
like I'm...
whatever exactly
they think that I am.
But, you know, it-it's not like
it happens every day.
So you saying
people don't look at you
like that every day?
Well, that happens every day,
you know,
if I go outside or whatever,
but it doesn't escalate
every day
is what I-- is what I'm saying.
Is that so?
I'm not living in fear.
I mean, is there fear?
Yeah.
Am I living in it?
-No?
-What?
You were just explaining
how none of this affects you.
I just, uh...
try not to think about it,
I guess.
Look, I don't want
to waste your time, Aren,
but I saw you at the gallery.
Right, yeah.
You were at the bar.
And I followed you because
I think you're very talented.
-My work?
-Uh, you mean the yarn thing?
No, that didn't make
no kind of sense.
But you?
You I get, and I want
to take you to a job interview.
Oh, no, I don't know anything
about bartending.
Second job.
You need money, right?
I need the yarn store to change
its return policy.
-Can it do that?
-Yeah.
-What?
-I mean, it pays good.
What is it exactly?
Officially,
it's a client services firm,
but unofficially,
we saving the damn world.
I don't really understand.
It's easier to show you.
-Here.
-Now?
Yeah.
-Okay. -You got
any medical conditions?
-Heart disease? Eczema?
-What?
N-No. Why would that...
What? Hmm?
-This way.
-Where are we?
D-Did I just black out?
I moved us a little.
You moved-- What?
Hey, yo, wait, wait.
Hey, Roger.
How y'all doing?
The hell is going on?!
Now, I'm probably supposed to
start slower with all of this,
but there's a recruiting class
starting right now,
and we got to get you in it.
Recruiting for what?
Welcome...
to the American Society
of Magical Negroes.
Over the next few days,
we'll introduce you to our work
and determine if any of you
are fit for membership.
Now, since every education
starts with the classics,
let's take a look at
some of our most accomplished
predecessors.
James Crampton, Savannah, 1923.
Watch his approach to the work.
Well, that's
a peculiar shot, suh.
Where'd you come from?
Oh, I was just
passing through, suh.
Or should I say Mr. Avery?
Hey.
How'd you know my name?
Well...
everybody in the state
of Georgia who like billiards
knows Beauregard Avery.
Is it true that you once
snapped your cue on the break
then ran the table
with one of the splinters?
I haven't played
since... the war.
You done lost your stroke.
-Excuse me?
-Uh, billiard stroke, suh.
You know, they say
a man's grip on his cue...
is like his grip on life.
Let me see how you holding it.
Now, see, you thinking 'bout
whether you gon' miss.
Maybe you missed a little bit
in your life.
But you can't
think on that now.
Now you gots to just
close your eyes
and get your stroke back.
Not bad, Mr. Avery.
Not bad.
Now, obviously, you'll be using
a more contemporary dialect
and a lot of other innovations
we've made since Jim's time.
But he was a master
of the fundamentals.
So, what did you notice about
Jim's approach to the work?
He doesn't make it
about himself.
It's always about the client.
Client service first.
What else?
He's really friendly.
That's crucial.
-Anything else?
-He's wearing suspenders.
Okay. Let's take a look
at another one.
Marcus Dunham, 1955.
Dead man walking!
This isn't right, Marcus.
Well, boss, it ain't about
the life leaving this world.
It's about the life
coming into it.
What do you mean?
I know that you and the missus
been having trouble
making life.
I'm just barely scraping by
in this job,
so it's hard to go home
and feel like a man.
Now, you listen here, boss.
Who snuck me that harmonica
so I could speak my soul
fore I go?
-I did, but...
-That took courage.
That was done by a man.
So when Mrs. Bossman
look at you tonight,
know that she looking at
the greatest man
in Kennebec County.
What about this one?
Anybody else?
The spiritual was a nice touch.
Perceived authenticity.
Your interests and hobbies
have to be authentically Black
as understood by the culture.
We're showing the client
the parts of ourselves
that make them feel good.
And nothing more.
Nope! Nope!
Mm-mm.
No, I'm sorry.
You can't conjure yourself
a steak dinner.
Magic only works
in the service of clients.
So if he's dieting,
you're dieting.
Mm-hmm. Uh, right.
If she knows that much, you'll
have to do a memory spell.
Mind if I take control
of your powers remotely?
Anything medical
requires physical touch.
Even if he's sweaty, yes.
No, that's me
controlling your powers.
-This is nice. Yeah.
-I like it.
-Not too tight?
-Not too tight, no.
Cause it's got to be nostalgic,
but it can't be
too sharecropper.
Oh, no, of course not.
We're not doing Roots.
Like a vice grip
on my heart...
How goes?
It's...
it's really interesting.
It's, um--
You know, the name needs
a little updating,
maybe like
"Magical Black People" or--
I guess that doesn't have
the same ring, but, uh...
What are you trying to say?
I'm not sure this is for me.
It really has
nothing to do with you,
and-and I'm sure the work makes
a ton of sense for you guys.
It just seems, you know,
for my personal taste...
It's a little, um...
-Please take me home.
-You ain't going home.
Holy shit.
It's bigger than you.
We've been around
since before this was...
Is this...?
Monticello.
-What?
-Yeah.
Secret wing.
Oh, okay.
-The truth is, Aren...
-I'm in Virginia?
...you've got talent.
Sorry, the building is gone.
Yeah.
And talent like yours
can do more to help Black
people than a hundred marches.
How?
It's easier if I show you.
No, no, no.
Last time you said that...
Aren, what's the most dangerous
animal on the planet?
-Sharks.
-White people.
When are white people
most dangerous?
When they're teamed up
with sharks.
When they feel uncomfortable.
Okay, were sharks
a part of it or...
White people
feeling uncomfortable
precedes a lot
of bad stuff for us.
White people move into
a neighborhood,
they feel uncomfortable:
gentrification.
-Okay.
-White cop sees a Black man,
feels uncomfortable:
another shooting.
Was a time when all you had
to do was look at a white man
and make him uncomfortable.
That was pretty much it
for you.
Yeah, I get that.
I'm just not the...
For some of us, the last thing
we see in this world
is an uncomfortable white man.
But I don't blame
white people for that.
I blame their discomfort.
That's why we here
at the American Society
of Magical Negroes
fight white discomfort
every damn day.
We are the vanguard
of white relaxation.
Black knights making sure
that they don't take it out
on a brother.
Because the happier they are,
the safer we are.
Wow.
You see that cop over there?
Far as we know, he may be
the next one to shoot
an unarmed Black man.
-Him?
-I didn't bring you here
for sharks, Aren.
I brought you here for this.
We are constantly monitoring
the happiness of every
white person in America.
And when one gets
too unhappy...
...they become a client.
Excuse me, Officer?
But they won't know
they're a client.
So you'll use
a white tears meter
to get a reading
of their distress levels.
And it will also let you know
when their distress
has returned to acceptable
white person levels.
Man, I looked in the mirror
this morning,
I swear to God,
I look more like my father
than I look like myself.
Well, it's like my grandmama
always used to tell me.
There's only two fighters
you can't beat:
Joe Louis and Father Time.
I just want to know
I still have it.
You know?
We're thinking about
going to a club tonight.
Like...
from music videos?
Really exclusive.
He and I can get in.
I mean, if you can...
maybe you're not
as far gone as you think.
I want to do that.
Look, Aren,
this is a one-night job.
Nice, easy client like we use
in trainings or on holiday.
But don't let that fool you.
Black lives are depending
on this.
Look, Roger, for me,
I don't think
that keeping white people happy
is as big a deal
-as you're saying it is.
-Oh, yeah?
Why are you so nice?
Because I'm friendly.
Because white people
will kill you.
Okay.
And I think you recognize this
in some way,
and now you're trying
to get out in front of it.
Roger, if I were hyperaware
of white people, I would know.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
Do you remember that white guy
that just passed us?
-Yeah.
-You're blocking his way.
I'm so sorry. I...
-That's not nice.
-Let's try a little experiment.
I want you to walk
in that crowd.
Why?
Well, it shouldn't be
a big deal to you
since you so good
with white people.
My mom's white.
I grew up with white people.
And I'm sure that didn't
mess you up at all.
So, I don't need to go.
You scared?
-No.
-Then go.
I-I don't want to go.
-You're scared.
-Okay, you know, fine.
I'll go.
For you.
Thank you.
I know you can feel
their discomfort, Aren.
It's the loudest thing
in every room you walk into.
Probably has been
your whole life.
What did you do to make them
look at you that way?
And what are they going to do
to you next?
White discomfort
is your nemesis, Aren.
Stop running from it
and start listening to it.
Hey, hey.
What's up, fellas?
Oh, man.
This place looks awesome.
There's no way I'm getting in.
Have you seen me?
-Give it a shot.
-It's not happening.
It was stupid
to even come here.
Ah! Stupid.
What was I thinking?
God, this is the outfit
that I pick.
I'm like,
"Oh, I'm gonna go to the club.
Let's get my club outfit
out of the closet."
-I bought new shoes...
-Don't look at me, Aren.
Look at him.
Only him.
Put everything out of your mind
and focus on
his pale-ass feelings.
As a member of the Society,
there's no more making sure
your hands are visible
just in case
or wondering if they're gonna
call the cops on you
for doing
totally normal things.
Now you'll know.
You'll know exactly
how distressed they are
and how to soothe them,
so you won't have to be afraid.
I see him.
Then go and comfort him.
They call me
a pencil-pushing nerd.
Hey.
Rules are important.
Listen.
Doesn't matter
how they look at you.
It matters how you look at you.
Yeah.
You're right.
Hey. Can we get in?
Actually, yeah.
Yes.
Guys, thank you.
Now, let's do this.
What did I just do?
You made your world
a safer place.
-I want to do that again.
-It's your job.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the president of the American
Society of Magical Negroes,
Dede Booker.
Do we seem like gods
to you, Aren?
Uh...
Flattering but untruthful.
In reality, we are only
as mighty as we are united.
You see, Aren,
our powers are collective.
If any member
uses magic selfishly,
fails to put
their client first,
all our powers fail,
and we cannot fail.
Every year of our existence,
the life expectancy
of Black Americans has risen,
and members of our society
live five years past that,
which brings us on par with...
...white nonsmokers.
And the privilege
and responsibility
was upheld by Rosie...
the Riveter's nanny
and Crispus Attucks.
He really took one
for the team.
And we can't forget Nancy Green
and her trademark syrup
that funds our work today.
So, understanding
this noble burden,
will you join?
Yes.
Well, I officially welcome you
to the American Society
of Magical Negroes.
-You ready?
-Oh, wow.
Um...
Yeah.
-Thanks.
-Thank you.
-Hello?
-Why aren't you here yet?
Uh, yeah, I just, uh,
I needed a second.
I have to brief you
on your first client.
Also, why am I
looking at a table?
Okay, I'll be right in
and we can talk.
-I'm sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry.
-It's okay.
-I wasn't looking and...
-It's okay. It's fine.
-Sorry. -You're fine.
Don't worry about it.
Can I buy you a new one?
Uh, yeah. Okay, sure.
-That's-that's nice of you.
-Okay.
Oh, my God,
I was looking for coffee.
I was looking to make sure that
I didn't spill coffee on you.
-Yeah, no, I wouldn't...
-And I realize that totally
looked like
I was checking you out.
I was not checking you out.
I wouldn't do that.
Yeah, okay.
I-I was not doing that.
I promise.
Okay.
I would. I would do that
if it was, like, uh--
You're beautiful,
and I-I would...
In a checkout-appropriate
situation, I would do that.
Well, what would be
a... a situation
where it's appropriate
to check me out?
No, like a date or a...
betrothal or--
I don't know what I'm saying.
It's-- I was really
just looking for coffee.
-It's okay.
-Thank you. Sorry.
I don't... I don't believe you.
-You don't believe me? Why?
-No. You just...
You just said that
you weren't checking me out,
and then you said I was pretty.
So how would you decide
that I was pretty?
There's a difference,
there's a difference between
-noticing how someone looks
and, like... -Okay. Okay.
...skeevily, like,
looking them up and down.
Okay, thanks
for letting me know.
And I didn't say
that you were pretty actually.
-I didn't say that.
-You did.
-I just heard what you said.
-No.
No, I said that you
were beautiful.
Okay.
-Okay.
-Yeah. No, I...
Okay, I believe you.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
It's a very nice thing to do.
Not check you out?
No, check me for coffee stains.
That's...
That's a very sweet thing
to do.
Well, I'm very nice.
It's-it's, like, a flaw.
Yeah? Says who?
Oh, thanks.
I didn't even check myself.
Yeah, am I good?
Hmm?
Am I coffee-free?
Oh, I don't know.
I was just looking at that ass.
Wow.
-Terrible.
-Yeah, you like that?
I'm sorry.
Uh...
Uh...
I'm s-- I have to go.
I'm so sorry.
Oh.
Sorry.
Your first client
is a Jason Mundt.
You'll be working with him
in graphic design,
where we felt your background
in yarn and shit
will come in handy.
Jason works at MeetBox,
the most influential social
media platform in the world.
Millions of white people
see his designs every day
as they post and like and do
whatever else they do on there.
You will be a deckhand.
That's one level below
a boatswain.
Come again?
Spelled "boat" "swain."
Yeah, but are we at sea?
Well, they felt
normal job titles
-were a bit too corporate.
-Okay.
His meter jumped dangerously
high Tuesday 4:00 p.m.
He was so upset
we considered sending in
a team of
rapid response Negroes,
but they were all my age
and really didn't understand
what MeetBox did.
So his morale is still
far too low.
Your job is to figure out
what caused the jump
and identify what he wants.
There's a lot of research
that if you spend
less time working,
you're actually more productive.
And that is why we've got
snacks, we've got games,
we've got cots
if you want to take a nap.
-Oh, that's great. -Yeah,
we also have a laundry service.
We've got a car wash.
You know, basically
you could just sleep here.
Do a lot of people sleep here?
You keep saying...
-Oh, no. No, no.
-Okay, cool.
Although I could use a nap.
I'm fine.
This is Jason.
-You're gonna work together
a lot. -Hey.
-Hey.
-No, darn it.
Um, I was hoping there was
a station right next to him,
but there's not, so why don't
you come downstairs with me.
-Oh, is this one spoken for?
-Hmm?
No.
Uh, why don't you
just settle in.
Great.
Looks like we're neighbors.
Yeah, I-I guess so.
You like games?
Guard-guard it.
Guard your goal.
-You better guard it.
-Okay. I'm-I'm trying.
You better guard it.
I'm close. I'm close!
-Oh!
-Okay.
-Damn.
-Yes.
-The streak is real.
-Got me again.
Three in a row.
-Whew.
-You practice this, don't you?
Yeah,
I got one of these at home.
-Lizzie.
-Uh, hey.
Hey.
I...
I... I-I...
I just started working here.
That's cool. Oh, my God.
I-I've worked here for a while.
-That-that makes sense
why you're here. -Yeah.
And I'm...
You guys know each other?
-No. We just met.
-No, I mean, like, we--
-I'm sorry. No, you go ahead.
-Sorry. No, uh, please.
-Uh, I'm Aren, by the way.
-I'm Lizzie.
-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
Um, did you get my notes?
No, no, I had to... go to this,
like, HR training and...
That's fine, but we should
get it done tonight
'cause then Masterson
might actually go home,
which at this point is
kind of a human rights thing.
Right. Yeah, no.
-No, yeah, I'll get it.
-Thank you.
It was nice
to meet you officially.
-Yeah, it's nice to meet you.
-So, I'll see you around.
See ya.
-So, uh, what's her story?
-Lizzie?
She's kind of my work wife.
-You okay?
-I don't know, man.
Like... I can't get
this layout to work.
-Hmm.
-What?
Your stroke is
a little hesitant.
I'm sorry?
Your keystroke.
-Oh.
-I mean, yeah.
Yeah, I've--
I don't know what's going on.
I just-- Something's off.
Like, I, uh...
Yeah, you know,
it's like the saying goes.
A man's grip on his...
keyboard is like
his grip on life.
-Who said that?
-Rosa Parks.
-Really? When... was that...
-Yeah, my point is,
something's going on
somewhere else in your life
can show up in your work.
-Hmm. -But then again,
you're the boatswain.
-What do I know?
-No. No, you're right, man.
Something's definitely off.
I just feel...
-Feel like what?
-Shaky.
-Mm.
-Like, I'm just not...
You know, like, when
you're trying to do something,
but you lost your keys
and you're like,
"I'm trying to focus,
but where are my keys,
-where are my keys, where are
my keys?" -Ah, I feel that.
So, that is not me.
Like, I always know
where my keys are.
They're in a bowl by the door.
Okay.
He's a perfectly fine designer,
but he's, like,
totally convinced
that he's on the fast track.
-Great. What else?
-He responds more to
'90s hip-hop slang
than Uncle Remus.
What about his Want?
I mean, those are all
great observations,
but we need to find out
what he's missing.
Honestly, I'm not sure.
You know, best I can tell
is that, for some reason,
his meter jumped
when his last project launched.
Is he close to anyone at work?
He has a work wife.
So, spend some time with her.
Get some intel.
With her? Yeah.
Yeah, I could do that.
It's Lizzie, right?
It's really good!
It's a shambles. It's terrible.
I feel like if I squint,
I can totally see
-the Chrysler Building.
-Oh.
It's supposed to be
the Empire State Building.
That's what I said,
-the Empire State Building.
-That's not what you said.
-Yes, it is.
You didn't hear me. -No.
-Wow.
-What?
There.
You added jumpers?
No, no.
They're, like...
They're, like, a couple.
-You know, in the movies.
-Oh.
That's really sweet.
Hey.
Uh, nice. Chrysler Building.
Hell yeah.
Masterson wants you.
Okay.
I will see you, gents.
-All right.
-Watch them for me.
You got it.
-Good luck.
-See you, guys. Bye.
Yo, who took my tugboat?
Okay.
Wow.
She's great.
-Yeah, she's cool.
-Are you kidding?
Come on, man.
She's-she's smart
and funny and she's--
Have you seen her work?
She's, like,
a ridiculous designer.
-Yeah. -She's, like,
the best designer here.
Yeah, she's definitely
the golden child.
You know, th-they're
actually saying that
about you, too,
around the office.
I hear that all the time about
how amazing of a designer
you are.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, y-you guys
are completely different.
You're-you're actually--
You-you work
really well together.
-You think?
-Yeah.
It's like you have such talent,
she has such talent.
It's like,
it's like a power couple.
Work-wise, you know.
MeetBox is under fire,
as new complaints emerge its
facial recognition technology
fails to identify Black people.
Critics say a lack of diversity
on the engineering team
may have contributed
to the issue.
And with public pressure
growing,
MeetBox founder
Mick Morton has promised
sweeping internal changes.
-Ahoy. -Ahoy.
-Ahoy.
When I dropped out of Harvard
to build MeetBox
in my parents' garage,
I remember thinking,
"I hope they don't
pull the car in."
I also remember thinking
MeetBox had to be
a platform for everybody.
Now, in the next few days,
you're gonna hear
the media claim
that we have failed at that.
You're gonna hear
outlandish accusations.
"Mick's biased.
"Mick's a racist.
Mick hates
the entire nation of Ghana."
That's not me.
It's not who we are.
We are the same company that,
last quarter alone,
partnered with
22 Black-owned vendors.
We are the same company that,
during the
George Floyd protests,
suspended operations
for 12 hours.
We're the same company
whose flagship office
has a world cuisine station
dedicated to the food
of the Caribbean
and occasionally Africa.
It's diverse, it's different,
it's yummy.
We like it.
That's who we are.
But to make it crystal clear
who we are,
I am thrilled to announce
that in the next 30 days,
we are relaunching
the MeetBox brand.
At a company-wide presentation,
our top design team will pitch
a MeetBox makeover.
We're gonna have a new logo,
a new slogan
and a new commitment
to the exact same values
that got us here.
-He's incredible.
-Hmm.
So that's Jason's Want:
to be like Mick.
Mick's a CEO.
That makes Jason
a five-, ten-year client.
And those are different.
Less magic, more listening.
Yeah, it's actually fun
and weirdly relaxing.
It's like being a secret agent
with none of the danger.
So, uh, I actually had
a question for you
about Jason's work wife.
Aren, just ask the girl out.
-Can I?
-We're not monks, Aren.
You're just scared to ask her.
-I'm getting to it, all right?
-When?
Tomorrow.
Okay.
-Dude.
-Whoa.
Thank you.
-You're welcome.
-Seriously, man.
It was like an epiphany.
I can't believe
I didn't see it before.
Sorry, what-what are
we talking about?
Lizzie.
-What?
-Don't play dumb, man.
I know what you were doing,
going on about her.
You were trying to...
you were trying to set us up.
No. No, no, no.
That's not what I was doing.
-I was...
-It's okay. It's cool.
I'm grateful because
you got me thinking,
"Why haven't we
gotten together?"
And then it hit me.
I'm into Lizzie.
Hey, man, you were, um,
you were pretty focused on
being like Mick.
I am.
You want both things?
I do.
-Isn't that cool?
-Yeah.
Clarity is dope, man.
Right.
-He wants both things?
-Yeah, can he even do that?
Yes, but a Double Want is not
ideal for your first client.
Okay, great, well, then
I'm just gonna focus on work
and let him
deal with his love life.
You know, the company's
about to do the big rebrand,
-and so I feel like...
-No.
You're going to concentrate on
both things at once.
And, Aren, I hope
I don't have to tell you this,
but you cannot have a romantic
relationship with Lizzie now.
Is that going to be a problem?
Because if you don't
put Jason first,
everyone's magic will fail.
I was hoping that was, like,
a team-building thing.
We're all in this together now.
So you have to set up
Lizzie and Jason,
and I have to drive around
this crotchety old white lady.
Oh. Lizzie texted me.
What should I say?
-Let's start with what
she said. -Okay, she said,
"Can I get
that timeline, please?"
What do you think it means?
Hey. You two talking about me?
-Hey.
-What's up? Hey.
Oh, my-- Wait, are you?
Yeah, actually, we were.
We were just, uh, wondering
if you wanted to get a drink
-with us after work, right?
-Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh.
Okay, yeah. That sounds great.
Um, as long as Jason
gets me that timeline.
Yeah, it's-- Yeah, it's chill.
Okay, great.
Let me know about drinks.
All right.
-Thank you.
-Yeah, you're welcome.
-Geez. -I'll just, uh,
I'll make up an excuse
-last minute, and then
you guys are all set. -What?
-All right?
-No, no. No, no, no, no.
You... You're coming.
-Why?
-Did you just see me?
"It's chill"?
-Okay.
-I've never said "chill."
All right, yeah, okay, fine.
I'll come for one drink,
all right?
-Should I send the timeline?
-Yeah, send it now.
-Send it? -You should
probably send it now.
So Jason and I
worked on it for a week,
-and then... -Yeah, and then...
and then Masterson
fell asleep
right in front of me.
Oh, my God.
That's pretty funny.
Your stories are
getting better.
-It was good, right?
-Yeah, it's good.
-I'm getting funnier.
-You're making my job easier.
-Maybe.
-Yeah.
Should we do another round?
-Should we do one more?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-Yeah, let's do it.
-Yeah? Okay.
-No, I got it.
-You got it?
-All right, thank you.
-Thank you.
...country music superstar.
In other news, the fallout from
MeetBox's facial recognition
scandal continues.
The technology required
to access the platform
has prevented
the entire nation of Ghana
from logging on
for several days.
Well, on the one hand,
it's been great for
my productivity at work.
But on the other hand,
it was quite racist.
The growing outcry
made its way to social media,
where the hashtag "Ghanagate"
has been trending...
I'm so sick of this, this whole
facial recognition thing.
God, I know.
It was a mistake.
Oh, no, I meant, like, I'm
just so sick of thinking about
how we all work for these
people who are responsible.
So what? So everybody who was
on that team is a bad person?
I didn't say that. Um...
Wait, did you--
Was that your last project?
Uh, yeah, yeah.
And we were doing our best,
you know, and...
I'm-I'm sorry.
I forgot that you were on that.
-No, it's... I don't care.
-Yeah.
I was just
blowing off steam about...
People are being
really sensitive right now.
You know,
it's a hot-button issue
-right now.
-Yeah.
That's totally
what I was commenting on.
-Right.
-You're not a bad person.
-Oh, not at all.
-Right. Right. Yeah, no.
-I'm sorry.
-No, it's fine, it's fine.
But, yeah, thank you.
You're good.
And, look, I mean,
would it have helped
to have people of color
on the team?
Maybe. Yeah.
But...
you know, it was
a really competitive project,
and no people like you made it,
so I don't know
what they want me to do.
I think, uh, you shouldn't
beat yourself up over it.
-Yeah. Exactly.
-That's the main thing.
Yeah.
Right.
And I'm not.
Like, I thought about it
for a few minutes
I'm moving on.
Cause you can't--
you cannot slow down
and listen to the haters and...
What?
No, I should've said something.
You did.
You-you said exactly
what I was thinking
-about the whole scandal.
-Yeah, and then
Jason got all guilty, and I
just, like, completely bailed.
I'm so stupid.
No, don't... it's...
You were trying to make him
feel better, you know.
We both were.
Yeah, well, now I feel worse.
I mean, don't you?
It's okay to...
pick your battles.
That's the thing. I feel like
I'm not really picking.
It just feels like this reflex.
Okay, that doesn't make sense.
No, actually that makes
perfect sense.
It's like when...
when someone sneezes,
how you say "Bless you"
without even thinking.
Only then you look up
afterwards,
and you're like, "What did I...
What did I just bless?"
-Yeah.
-Right.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's-it's one thing
to not stand up for myself,
but then when
I-I look over and I see
that you're uncomfortable, too,
it's just...
I should've said something.
Thank you... for saying that.
That's-that's really...
That's really nice.
I don't have a lot of people
that stick up for me, so...
Well, I didn't
stick up for you.
I just thought about it.
Well, Lizzie pulled me
aside this morning
and was rehashing
our conversation at the bar,
and apparently I upset her.
-Wait, what?
-I know.
But you weren't upset, right?
No, no.
Good.
-Wow.
-Right?
Cause I obviously care
very deeply
about this stuff, and I take it
really seriously, but...
Honestly, I didn't even know
she was, like, ethnic at first.
So, like, don't come at me
when you're...
you're me.
You know?
You gonna serve?
Uh, yeah. Sorry.
Um, are you and Lizzie
good, though?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, she was basically
flirting with me
by the end of it.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, she does this thing
where she, like,
touches my arm and...
-Easy.
-Sorry.
It's, uh...
You got any more balls?
-Yeah, I got one.
-Okay.
Our society began
as an informal commitment
amongst Monticello slaves
to help each other avoid
harsh punishment.
Now that I can see
white discomfort everywhere,
I'm starting to realize
all of this stuff
that it does to me.
Like, I apologize all the time.
-You really should hear this.
-Oh, sorry.
See?
And you were so right about
how I've been aware of this
my whole life.
Like, I was never really able
to explain my sculpture before,
but I-I think it's about...
Roger?
R-Roger?
Am I making sense?
You haven't been making sense
for quite some time.
Sorry.
Lizzie, your...
your work on the logo
has been just...
-just great.
-Aw.
I mean, it was
a team effort. I...
Well, I know that you did
all the heavy lifting, so...
-I do.
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
-Aw.
I just want you to know
how great you are.
-Thank you. Thank you.
-Yeah.
It's just, um...
our team is gonna be pitching
the logo to Mick himself.
-Mm-hmm.
-And I'm gonna ask...
I'm gonna ask Jason to do it.
But it's...
I'm sorry, that's my, um,
design, though, you know.
No, I know.
Uh, Jason's just better
in a room, and--
-He's great in a room.
-Um, is he?
-He's so charismatic and...
-He's loud and he's...
Well, it's a loud...
company, Lizzie.
Sorry, I just feel like
I've been, I've been asking you
-for something like this
for a long time. -Mm-hmm. Sure.
-And we... we talked about this
in my review. -Sure.
This particular design
means a lot to me, and...
Okay, well, I'm up for
Rear Admiral this year.
No, Lizzie, Rear Admiral.
-Okay, yeah, um...
-And we should just really
support each other right now.
-Yeah, so...
-I heard about that.
That's great.
It's a big presentation,
and Jason's just a better fit
for this audience.
-You'll be fine.
-No, that's okay. Um...
Oh, Masterson's calling me in.
I'll meet you
and Lizzie at the bar.
All right.
Hey.
I'm sorry, I-I actually--
I have to head home.
-What's wrong?
-Nothing's wrong.
-You okay?
-Yeah.
-Oh.
-Shit, um...
Thank you.
Look, um, we don't
have to go to the bar.
We can just walk
in that direction and talk.
Sorry, I'm just-- I'm not
super, uh, fun right now.
It's okay.
No, I'm really, uh...
I'm no fun.
I think, uh, this is fun enough
for the both of us.
Oh, my God.
Is this a ring that says
"So swag"?
Okay, you love that.
-It's very fun.
-That was a gag gift.
-So...
-It's almost too fun.
-"So swag."
-Okay.
Um...
A short, un-fun walk?
All right.
Completely joyless.
It's my job to support Jason,
in more ways
than you can imagine,
but, I mean, I don't know.
I think
I'm a good designer also.
You're the best of us.
-I mean, I don't,
-I don't know if I'm the best,
but, like... -No, you are.
I went to RISD
with some great designers,
-and you're killing it.
-Thank you.
-I mean that.
-That means a lot.
Thank you. I...
Like, if I'm being honest,
I kind of...
I kind of think that, too.
And that's, like,
this whole thing for me.
Like, it's taken me years
to just be able to say, like,
you know, "I think,
like, I, as a person,
do not suck fundamentally."
And it's...
This place is supposed
to be a meritocracy, so...
Mick? Like, Mick is
a free market psychopath.
If there was a way to promote
with blood sport,
oh, my God, he'd be
throwing us in the pit,
like, left and right.
And I'm just saying,
"Put me in the pit.
-Like, I'm there."
-Yeah.
"I'm committed.
I'm-I'm good."
Can I just say,
you're kind of a badass...
right now.
I mean, at all times,
-but specifically right now...
-Thank you.
...because I feel like--
I keep thinking this
because, uh, with me,
when I lose an opportunity,
I'm like, "Yeah, that's right.
That makes sense.
And goodbye
and thank you so much."
-And you're-- right now,
you're, like... -Wait.
This...
-I don't even have the word
for it. -But why?
That how much I don't have it.
You went to RISD. I mean...
-That's different.
-No, it's not at all.
That's like the Harvard
of finger painting.
That's how they sell it.
It's on all the pamphlets.
Exactly. I mean, it's...
Yeah, it's amazing
to even get in there.
-What did you study?
-Sculpture.
-You did?
-Mm-hmm.
You still do it?
No. Not really, um, anymore.
I, uh...
I used to love it,
but it's sort of similar
-to what you were saying.
-What?
I couldn't decide if I was,
like, really good
and other people didn't get me
or if I was, like,
a lunatic
making yarn sculptures.
-Yarn sculptures?
-I know, I know.
Sculptures with yarn?
-Yeah.
-Do you have pictures?
-I do.
-Yeah?
Um...
-They don't really work in 2D.
-Oh, my God.
-And they're too small
on this screen. -Are you sure?
-Let me see.
-Come on!
This looks so cool.
Yeah, you don't really get the
feeling that you get in person.
Uh, okay, so if it was, like,
right in front of me,
what would I be feeling?
Calm.
Quiet.
Kind of like how I imagine
meditating is supposed to feel
but you can never
actually pull off.
Okay, so it's-it's,
like, relaxing?
I'm doing a terrible job
of this.
-Why are you making me do this?
-No, you're not.
You're not.
Yeah, um...
I think my pieces are about...
comfort.
Mm-hmm.
Not like my shoes
are comfortable,
but deep social ease.
Like, I saw this Wall Street
bro get mugged one time.
-Uh, okay.
-It's an example.
-Okay. Okay.
-Deep social ease.
Uh, but when this guy
got mugged,
he was so surprised.
Yeah, I mean, isn't that
kind of essential to a mugging?
But no, it was the way
he was surprised.
It was...
Like, right before the mugging,
he was so sure that the world
wasn't gonna come for him
that it took him
a super long time to realize
that he was getting mugged.
I swear to God
that for a split second,
he thought the knife
was a present for him.
Like, in his mind, it was
more likely that a stranger
would give him
a random gift...
than that they would
try to hurt him.
Totally. Yeah.
And I-I want to know
what that would feel like
to have that expectation
of the world.
Just for a second.
Like I'm...
floating in salt water,
and I can just relax.
Well, what makes you
feel like that?
Peruvian wool.
And...
when people are talking to me.
-Like, me specifically.
-Mm.
Not an idea of me but
the person that I actually am.
And when does that happen?
Is it weird to say now?
Sorry.
-Hey.
-You sitting down?
I was.
Dude, I get to pitch Mick
in front of the entire company,
everyone.
-That's awesome, man.
-Like, I knew it was coming,
and this is it, it's here,
and I'm bringing you
along with me.
And I just emailed you a temp,
so you think you can, like,
work your magic
like you did last time?
Yeah. You got it. No problem.
Thanks, man.
Sorry, I've got to go back
to work.
That's okay.
I should actually...
I should go, so...
Thanks for the walk.
Yeah, anytime.
-I'll see ya.
-See ya.
A farm subsidy's not welfare
because farmers aren't lazy.
You know?
And that's why you have nothing
to be embarrassed about.
Normally, I would be
floating above you, godlike,
with magic powered by a hundred
Negroes working as one.
But today, Kyle here had to get
an actual chair for me.
Why? Because someone here
defied the Society.
Our powers shut down
because someone here
made it about himself.
Who was it?
Brutus and Kyle have
had to carry this thing around
like common laborers.
Brutus went to Dartmouth.
He doesn't need this shit.
And Kyle went to...
Kyle?
Baby, where'd you go again?
Cornell, ma'am.
Still technically Ivy.
Who did it?
Tonya?
Tell us of your crimes.
I told my client about himself.
Not much.
It was just like,
"Hey, you may want to revisit
that foundational paper
in our field."
Was that all?
And I may have sworn at him
a little.
He's never read it.
He cites it,
but he's never read it.
I've heard enough!
I hereby ban you
from the American Society
of Magical Negroes.
You will receive
a mind-erasing spell
that will take away any and all
recollection of your time here.
And then, Tonya,
you will receive
the most severe sentence.
You will be forced to live
in America...
No.
...as a...
regular Black person.
We're working to get our powers
up as soon as possible.
Normally, Tonya would have
helped with that.
What a waste.
To Tonya.
She is...
was...
the smartest of us.
-She's not dead, though, right?
-Probably not.
But without our standard-issue
charm against hate crimes,
the worst could've happened.
Like she stepped
out of our door
and walked
straight into a Nazi.
I didn't mean to put you off
like that.
No, no, it's...
I don't recruit.
Usually, I don't work
with the new members like that.
Really?
Dede says I'm too stern.
What?
That's what I said.
I'm likeable.
So, uh, why me?
I'll give you a compliment.
Watching you walk through
a room full of white people
is the most painful thing
I've ever seen.
Mm, thank you.
I called Dede right away
and said,
"I'm going to work
with this young man myself."
You know, uh, I just realized
I never actually, uh,
thanked you for helping me out
that night.
You don't have to thank me.
Still.
You can thank me
by doing a good job.
Okay.
-Hey.
-Hi.
Is everything okay?
Yeah.
I mean, I was not okay
last night,
and you were really sweet
about it.
So it's your turn.
-Yeah, I'm good.
-Okay.
I can't believe
you haven't played this before.
Yeah, I know. It's-it's fun.
Oh, my God.
-I know, right?
-Wow.
Look, he's, like,
all burned up.
-You can, like, pick up
his lung. -Okay, yeah, let's...
Hey, actually, um...
I actually had a suggestion
on the Lizzie front.
-Yeah, shoot.
-I was thinking
that you could ask Lizzie
to present with you.
Why? I mean, I do the talking,
you run the deck.
What else do we need?
Well, Lizzie's
a great designer,
and, you know,
it's a nice gesture,
especially for someone
that you're into.
Yeah, but it's not fair.
No.
You'd still have plenty
of face time with Mick.
No, it's-- I mean,
it's not fair to Lizzie.
What-- I-I don't follow.
Well, I mean,
if you give somebody a break
and they haven't earned it,
you're just setting them up
to fail down the line,
so it's not fair to them.
So you don't think
Lizzie's earned it?
Well, I mean,
Masterson did come to me, so...
Yeah, true, but it could've
been either of you.
-Could it?
-Yeah.
Well, I mean, I can only
speak for me, and I got it,
so I must have put in
the right amount of work.
Well, what if Lizzie put in
the exact same amount of work?
But she didn't get it.
So the fact that you have it
is proof that you deserve it?
Kinda.
Pick up that rapier there
and just stab them in the nose.
I mean, sure, there's luck
and talent and stuff,
but I feel like mostly
people get what they work for,
and I got it, Lizzie didn't.
But don't other things
contribute to your success?
Like what?
Like if people treat you
like you're gonna be successful
your whole life,
don't you think that makes it
easier to succeed?
-Like, me specifically?
-Sure.
Well, I was gonna succeed,
so they would've been right.
Uh, but what if
they treated you
like you weren't gonna succeed?
Well, why would they? I was.
It's a hypothetical, Jason.
Well, I would've been like,
"Back off, haters." Like...
Okay, but that's
a really confident attitude,
and if you were being undermined
your whole life...
Well, I'm confident, so I
wouldn't let them undermine me.
But I'm saying, like,
what if your confidence
isn't actually yours,
it's just something
that you learned how to do
in response to how people
have treated you?
Like, for me-- and I'm not
actually sure
how this happened--
but I feel like, at some point,
I got taught
that other people...
-Dude, pump the brakes, man.
-Uh, my bad. I'm not trying...
No, pump the brakes
on the Humvee.
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow.
Nice, nice!
Whew, I thought we were
gonna overshoot it. Nice.
Whew. What were you saying?
Uh, um...
Nothing.
-Holy shit, you almost died.
-Yeah.
Were you looking for anything
specific?
Just... inspiration.
-Yeah.
-Tough client.
Well, anytime Oscar here senses
a really extreme reaction
from one of the clients,
good or bad,
he starts recording to a disk.
And the full disks
are archived here
so we can look back
at these moments.
Usually, these are
our finest work.
Like, the most recent one
we caught was...
Huh. All right, um...
No one seems to have labeled
the last one.
And that's why you have nothing
to be embarrassed about.
Um...
Um...
-Excuse me.
-Sure.
I can't wait
to see this picture.
Nah, that, uh,
that didn't come out.
Let me take it again, okay?
You guys ready?
'Cause this is the one.
He was my... second client.
And she was...
Well, I mean, she was Annie.
First he fell for her,
then I fell for her,
and then I did my job.
You ever regret it?
Regret is for white people.
I don't think
that's how it works.
Well, not according
to my grandma.
Oh, you're gonna quote
your wise Black grandma to me?
To me?
Yeah, but this is my real one.
Okay.
See, my daddy...
he used to shine shoes.
And this one day-- I must have
been five, six years old--
I went to town to see him.
And I was running toward him,
all excited.
But before I got to him,
this white man looked down
from the chair above him,
and he just spit on his head.
He spit on him.
He said something about...
my daddy needed
more spit in his shine.
And I just froze.
I mean, my daddy had a temper.
So I'm saying to myself,
"Ooh!
He's about to whoop the shit
out of this white man."
Mm.
But instead, he wiped the spit
off of his head,
and he looked up at him
and he smiled.
And I ran home crying,
thinking about that smile.
When I finally ran into
my grandmother, I told her
how ashamed I was of my daddy,
and she got real still.
And you know what she said?
What?
"If your daddy come home
alive today...
...he ain't got nothing
to regret."
So have I lost some things
to this work?
Some pride?
Her?
Yeah.
But I never regretted
one smile.
Because I'm still here.
And so many of us ain't.
But what do you do about the
little part of you that dies
every time you smile like that?
What, you'd rather go
all at once?
-No, I just...
-It's just pride, Aren.
-Feels like more.
-Well, that's 'cause you didn't
let her go
like I told you to do.
How'd you know that?
Of course I know
all about that.
I'm pretty much a wizard.
Fair enough.
You'll get another client,
and she will fade.
Then why do you keep
a picture?
So she doesn't.
That sounds awful.
Well, it's better than
the alternative.
If you do anything to interfere
with her or your client,
you could have
your memory erased.
You won't even remember
she existed.
I'm sorry, son,
but this is the job.
Hey, Lizzie?
-Hey.
-Hey.
I just wanted to apologize
for being weird the other day.
No worries.
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
But, um, I really...
I really do want to be friends.
And I want to say that
out loud to you
because I...
I feel like we had a...
"We're actually gonna be
friends" night,
and then I was weird about it.
Um, yes.
Totally.
So...
friends?
Yes.
Are we friends?
Of course we're friends.
-Yeah. Wait, I don't...
-Friends.
-It's formal, but...
-Yeah.
Seal the deal. All right.
Um, I'm gonna get back
to work, okay?
-Okay. Okay.
-I'll see you around.
Hey, Aren.
Hey, what's up?
I'm sorry, I just...
I know you just said
that we had a...
uh, "We're actually gonna be
friends" kind of night,
but that's...
...that's not
what I would call it.
What-what would you call it?
Um, we had a moment.
Didn't we?
And I guess I just figured that
you were, you were acting weird
because it was, uh,
it was too soon,
um... or it was too much,
um, or because I outrank you.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I could order you
to do stuff.
So am I crazy?
No.
Thank you.
We had a really lovely moment.
But?
But... I...
...just started this job,
and...
I'm sorry...
Don't be sorry.
Um, no, I'm sorry.
I sh-shouldn't have brought it
up at work. That's...
We're friends.
-We're friends.
-Friends.
-Friends.
-Okay.
Okay, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna go home,
but I'll... I'll see you.
-Okay.
-See ya around.
All right, see ya.
There's a tension here.
Black... but palatable.
Because they don't want to know
how much it costs you
to navigate them.
The sadness behind your eyes
every time you smile.
The lump in your throat
from everything you didn't say.
We're showing the client
the parts of ourselves
that make them feel good...
...and nothing more.
-Hi, uh...
-Yo, presentation day.
Hey, let's meet 30 before.
Also, big news
on the Lizzie front.
-Yeah?
-Yeah, yeah.
I, uh... as soon as
the presentation's over,
I'm asking her out.
-You there?
-Mm-hmm.
Did you hear the part about
how after the presentation
I'm asking her out?
-I'm so sorry. I-I, um...
-All good.
Anyway, I got a great plan
to ask her out,
but I'm gonna need your help.
What was that thing
that you said last week
that made her laugh?
I think it was about a...
Hi. This is
Lizzie. Leave a message.
-Hey, Lizzie, are you at work?
-Hey!
-I need to talk to you.
-Watch where you're going!
You close?
Don't want to be
"that boatswain,"
but, uh, you're late.
Hey, man,
you got an ETA?
Uh, where-where you at?
What? LaCroix?
No, he's not
a dockworker, Tyler.
Go get the one with
the fresh fruit squeezed in it.
Run!
Mick, hi. Jason.
What an honor.
All we are really is
just bags of meat, you know?
In a box.
Okay, Linda. Linda, Linda,
Linda, Linda, Linda, Linda.
-Is your team all set?
-Yes, Mick, it's, uh--
-Of course. Of course.
-That's great.
You have
a very bright future here.
Wow, I think
I just left my body.
-Are we set?
-Yes.
-Okay.
-Yeah.
Ahoy.
Thank you all so much
for coming.
Or rather not coming,
because we are live streaming
this to your desks.
We read a study in
the Harvard Business Review
that said
gathering in large groups
leads to too much fun!
And unions.
So we're gonna have fun
from wherever we are.
And I would like to hear you,
one at a time.
First up, Los Angeles!
Seoul!
Dude, where have you been?
-The presentation is starting.
-I can't talk right now, man.
-We're about to go on.
-Have you seen Lizzie?
She'll be at the presentation.
Come on.
Uh, the other day,
I was bidding on
a first edition
of The Fountainhead,
and I lost.
Now, those of you who know me
know that I hate losing.
Okay?
But in the end,
it was kind of exhilarating,
cause it reminded me
of my drive to win.
Now, Ghana-gate...
reminded us that
we have to double down
on connecting with everybody.
Design will help them
find their bliss.
-I don't see Lizzie.
-Just find her after.
No, it's urgent.
I'm having a moment of clarity.
Hey, hey, there's nothing more
urgent than this presentation.
Look, I'm just
clicking the slides.
If I'm not back in time,
you can do it on your own.
-No, you have to be there.
-Why?
-Because you do.
-I'm just pressing a button.
-Do I have to spell this out
for you? -Yeah, apparently.
So this whole rebrand
is about diversity.
Now, without further ado,
please join me
in welcoming to the stage
L.A. design team head
Linda Masterson!
Thanks so much, Mick.
Well, I think it's safe to say
that every crew is
only as good as their captain.
And with Mick at
the helm, it's pretty clear
we're not gonna be hitting
any icebergs anytime soon.
These may not
seem like MeetBox words.
They may not be carved
on the hull of values.
But I would argue...
Hey.
-Hey.
-I, uh...
I didn't like that.
What?
That thing you said,
I didn't like it.
Okay.
I felt like you were saying
that I'm only here
because of my race.
-I didn't like that.
-What?
And I needed to say that
out loud.
Whoa.
I feel crazy
just blurting that out.
That's... Wow.
Whoa.
Just once, I wanted to say
what I thought,
-no matter the consequences.
-I'm not racist.
What?
-I'm not racist.
-Oh, no, no, no, no.
That's not what I'm saying.
I was just trying
to tell you how I felt,
which is actually
pretty big for me,
cause I usually only
worry about how you feel...
'Cause I would never say
anything racist.
No, I'm just talking about me.
I don't have a racist bone
in my body.
Sorry, I'm actually having a
moment of real personal growth,
and so-- no offense--
I don't really care if you're
racist on a skeletal level.
Whoa, we can't just,
like, throw that shit around.
All right?
It's like a death sentence.
No, getting shot
is a death sentence.
-You know what I mean.
-No, I don't totally.
You did say a thing.
You said
you only needed me onstage
-because I'm diverse.
-No.
-No, I didn't.
-Yes, you did.
No, no, I said
the presentation
is about diversity.
That... that's semantics.
-That's-that's not
what happened. -I'm sorry...
-I'm sorry you heard it wrong.
-I-I was just there. That's...
If what you're saying happened,
then I'm racist,
and I'm not racist,
so it couldn't have happened
how you said it happened.
So because
you don't want to feel bad,
the thing that just happened
didn't happen?
That makes it sound crazy.
-That's because it's crazy.
-Can we...
Can we just please
focus up here?
And now Jason Mundt.
-I don't care if you're racist.
-Dude.
-Everyone's racist.
-Aren.
I care that you won't
acknowledge what just happened.
I'm sorry you're offended, okay?
I mean, how can we move forward
-until we acknowledge...
-I apologize. You hear me?
This is me apologizing.
...the basic facts
of the situation?
Are they lovers?
I don't think so.
-I'm not asking for
reparations. -I did all of it.
-I'm not asking for you
to apologize. -I did racism.
-I did slavery.
-I'm just asking for...
If I could just do
this presentation,
-that would be great.
-I'm sorry,
-did you say you did slavery?
-Uh...
Like, as an institution?
-How did we get there?!
-I'm just, I'm just gonna...
All you had to do was listen
to me and the thing that I was
saying about myself!
-Hey, what's happening?
-For Christ's sake...
I don't know.
He's freaking out.
...there's a section
of the presentation called
"Diverse Experiences."
It's a dumb title,
-but it's in there.
-Okay, Mick, I've got this.
-You couldn't be less
interested... -Um, excuse me.
-Oh, you want to get in
on this, Mick? -Uh, fellas?
Yeah, I think I might be able
to help out with this.
-Just go.
-All right. Ahoy, MeetBox.
Oh, you think
you understand me?
-Uh, yeah.
-Mick,
-you don't understand other
people. -And my name is Jason.
You own an island.
-Right. -I'd like
to get started...
-No one with an island has
empathy. -Just stop.
It's not possible
to possess both things.
-Right.
-Dude, stop.
Okay, I'm so sorry.
Why are you doing this?
We're friends.
You're not my friend.
And you don't want
to be friends,
because if we were
actual friends,
you would have to talk to me
and listen to me
and make space for the reality
that I live in a country
that makes me feel
like it wants me dead.
-What?
-What?
Where if I get shot today,
there is an army of people
ready to explain how it was
-probably my fault.
-Probably?
-And I feel that every day.
-Aren, the diversity section
-of this whole thing is coming
later. -In every glance,
in every movie that's
supposed to be uplifting.
-And maybe less about death.
-And that changes everything.
Because death and diversity
don't really have anything
-to do with each other, so...
-That changes how I walk
and how I talk
and how I take up space!
Or don't!
I got this. Okay.
It changes
what risks feel reasonable
and which ones are insane.
And it's taken me my whole life
to realize that this is
a weight
that I walk around with
-all the time.
-Hi.
-My name is Jason, and I...
-And after this
lifelong journey
of figuring out
that maybe this shit
impacts everything I do...
Linda, you-you're not Jason.
You can't do that.
...you want to turn around
and act like I'm crazy
for acknowledging it.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no. You don't
get to put me in danger
just because you don't want
to feel like an asshole.
Young man, young man.
-Be the asshole.
-We have forums...
Mick, hold on a second.
-Jason!
-I beg your pardon?
Because the shame
that you feel like
you did something wrong
just by being yourself,
-that is my whole life.
-You know what?
-You know what, everybody?
-And this place...
-this country...
-This is MeetBox.
...has been
so deeply indifferent
to whether or not I exist...
...that on some level, I don't
think I have the right to.
And what I am saying to you
that you so steadfastly
refuse to hear...
It's the Mick way.
It's the MeetBox way.
...is fuck that!
I do!
I deserve to be here.
Not just on this stage
but in this world.
And that, believe it or not,
is a revelation to me.
So you want to know about
my-my "diverse experience"?
I have been on this planet
for 27 years,
and I just figured out this week
that I deserve to be alive.
I didn't know that.
Me neither.
-Hi.
-Hi. That was...
I'm gonna move us a little.
What?
So, I'm gonna go soon,
-and I-I can't explain.
-Oh, my God.
But even though we might
never see each other again,
I need you to know
that you're not crazy.
What we had was real.
And as long as I've known you,
I've wanted to do this.
Aren?
Aren Mbondo.
We have seen your crimes
on the MeetBox stage,
crimes that have
endangered everyone
and kept me
at this miserable height.
What happened after
you left the auditorium?
I teleported my client's love
interest to a romantic location
where I tried to kiss her.
In my defense,
I had feelings for her first,
and he kind of
colonized my crush.
How can you possibly justify
your behavior?
I guess I've always felt like
it's my job
to make white people
feel comfortable,
and obviously,
here it literally is,
but...
it shouldn't be.
I get it though...
Aren,
you are hereby banished
from the American Society
of Magical Negroes.
Makes sense.
You got a history
of concussions?
Because technically
this spell is brain damage.
I'm okay.
-Are you gonna...
-Just give me a second.
Um, yeah, okay.
You know you're not
gonna be able
to take care of yourself
out there?
Um... I'll be fine.
Okay.
Shit.
What? What's...
I think you must have
gave somebody notions.
I could really use a hand here.
I don't think you really
understand the welfare state.
What?
But it's got to be
a two-way street.
I can't be the only one
grabbing crotches around here.
You've got to check in
on my penis as well.
But this shutdown
feels different. Big.
-Did I just put you
out of a job? -Oh, no.
Being a magical Negro
isn't just about magic.
As long as there are
fretful whites,
we will be here.
All right.
Uh... I'm gonna go.
But what you gonna do for work?
Uh...
Actually, I have an idea
for a new piece.
The yarn?
You do remember
nobody liked it?
Yeah, but I do.
Well, if I'm letting you out of
here with your memory intact,
you better text me tonight.
Okay, sure.
And none of that emoji shit.
I need words.
I'm curious to see how you
gonna make it out of all this.
Make it out of what?
You didn't leave her in L.A.
Oh.
No.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Aren, what is going on?
You just left me here
and you just disappeared?
-I'm on the...
-Excuse me!
...on the Empire State Building.
What is going on?
Um, okay, great.
So, I'm, like,
on the Brooklyn Bridge now
on the way to the airport,
uh, and I guess
I'm in New York.
I, uh, landed in L.A.
Um, I'm in a car home
right now.
Um, can you just--
can you give me a call
and let me know
that you're okay?
Lizzie.
Hey. I'm so sorry.
I didn't realize
that when I left...
I, uh...
Uh-huh?
Ah.
Hi, uh, Aren.
Um, I feel terrible
about leaving you in New York.
That was not
what I was planning on.
Mm-hmm.
So, do you have powers or...
No, right. Okay, that's
a, that's a fair question.
I'm part of this magic society--
Or-or I was.
I just quit, so...
Good on me or...
You're kidding.
Nope.
Which is such a crazy
coincidence, because I'm...
I'm also a part
of a magic society,
and I was about to quit.
Yeah, okay, that's funny.
-I-I deserve that.
-No, really.
But first I thought
I would kidnap you
and leave you
on the Space Needle.
No, I was...
I was trying to be romantic.
All right.
Just walk with me, then.
-That sounds much nicer.
-Okay.
Maybe no more magic.
Yeah. No more magic.
Oh, and you still
owe me a coffee.
Can I help you?
Oh. Okay.