The Bezonians (2021) Movie Script

["Ave Maria" by Franz Schubert]
Ave Maria
[singing in German]
Leave us alone a
moment, will you George?
[George] Sure, Mr. Rasoulis.
Plato, my dear friend,
what have you done?
How did you come to be acquainted
with such a vile devil?
I am sincere when I say
he's an acquaintance
that I wish I didn't know.
This man,
although I hesitate
to call him even that,
such is his barbarity,
this monster, this beast,
this fire-breathing
dragon is Willard Greb.
A killer of the innocent, born
with no soul or compassion.
Look at me.
[Rasoulis] Who embraces
the lust of evil,
for the euphoria and
sexual gratification
he gains from his heinous acts.
Please don't kill me!
Please don't kill me!
The money's in a safe
behind the wedding photo
on the wall, all right?
The code is one, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, yeah?
I made it easy so
I'd remember it.
And there's 20 grand in there,
and you can take it all, yeah?
Just please, please don't
kill me and my family.
My advice to you,
Plato, is to run.
Run far, far away
and never return.
Please don't kill me.
Please just don't kill
me and my family, okay?
No, please don't, please, no.
Please don't, no, no!
[gun banging]
[man yelling]
[gun banging]
[woman yelling]
Put your head up, son.
[gun banging]
[Plato] A real man
acts from the heart,
no matter how painful.
[lively Mediterranean music]
[people chatting]
[people laughing]
[people cheering]
[people applauding]
[people chatting]
[people laughing]
[people clapping]
[people chatting]
[people applauding]
[lively music]
[buttons clicking]
The Bezonians social club
was passed down to
me by my late father.
Back in the '60s, Greek
Cypriot immigrants,
still fresh off the boat and
stacked full of ambition,
would gamble their
week's hard-earned wages
on a single game of cards,
and leave their
families to starve
until the following Friday.
Many of my regulars
have been coming here
since they were kids, in
a tradition passed down
by their forefathers
before them.
[mumbling] Hey, Plato.
[Plato] Some
successful businessmen,
others unlucky in life,
but often lucky in love.
I don't think
you like me, Plato.
[Plato] We're a
colorful group of misfits,
jokers, failures, and dreamers.
[Anthony] Hello, Taz.
Hi, Daisy.
I haven't seen you
for a couple of hours.
I read that he wanted
a real bullet in the gun.
Yeah, not obviously
when they're, yeah.
[Plato] But to be a Bezonian
meant there was always
someone to turn to
when things were really
tough in the real world.
Hello, Pav.
[people laughing]
Mavron Mike, hi.
Life is a bit like toilet paper.
You're either on a roll,
or you're taking shit
from some asshole.
[Nina laughing]
[Mavron Mike laughing]
[Plato] And here I am,
Plato "The Boss" Andinos.
I'm far from a millionaire,
but just as far from hunger.
[arcade machine beeping]
[Anthony muttering]
Anthony was the local retard.
Every community has
one, some more than one.
His mother, a
disgrace to the word,
abandoned the family and
ran away with her new lover
when Anthony was just three.
His father, Carl, was
a degenerate gambler
who would bring Anthony along
to high-stakes poker games
here at The Bezonians.
Once his wife walked out on him,
the gambling spiraled
out of control.
He eventually lost
everything he had inherited
from his once successful father,
including his self-respect.
[sad music]
One morning, after a
particularly bad night,
he put a gun in his
mouth, pulled the trigger,
and left Anthony all alone in
the world to fend for himself.
[gun banging]
The shock of losing his
father in such a way
broke something in his head,
and any potential
he may have had
died that night with his father.
Anthony would remain
a child forever,
dependent on the kindness of
others to survive in the world.
Anthony's been coming here every
day since that awful night.
[Anthony muttering]
Like many innocents tend to do,
Anthony sought out a hero
to live through vicariously.
Someone he dreamed
of one day becoming.
[Anthony] Plato,
Achilles is here.
[Plato] After all,
the innocent have an
absolute faith in good.
Hi Achilles.
Achilles, you have a
lovely suit on today.
[Plato] Anthony's hero,
local legend and enigma,
[exciting music]
Everyone had a story
about Achilles.
Many were exaggerated
for dramatic effect.
But one I personally
Oi, you, get back here now!
[Plato] What would
become known as
the Michael
Constantine Incident.
[table banging]
[Michael exclaiming]
[upbeat music]
Michael, me and the kids
haven't eaten since last night.
You need to give me some money.
- I do, do I?
- No, don't.
A fucking bag or two, huh?
[Plato] Michael Constantine
was a degenerate gambler,
former boxing champion,
[chair clattering]
and serial abuser of his
long-suffering wife, Faye.
[Michael groaning]
Achilles was the obvious
choice for Anthony's hero.
[Michael groaning]
Tall, fast, powerful, explosive,
and most importantly, fearless.
[Michael groaning]
He struts round North London,
looking for battles
to be fought and won.
As childish as that might sound,
this crusader-type attitude
seemed to have an insane effect
when it came to
female attention.
I mean, women would just
throw themselves at Achilles.
[Nina laughing]
Anthony was the perfect
adventure and pet project,
as he went day to day
seeking courageous acts
to prove his self-worth.
After all, Anthony
was the obvious victim
that needed protecting
from the devils and
dragons of London.
[men groaning]
And Achilles was just the
man to protect him from them.
He'd been coming to
Bezonians for years,
but barely spoke
a word to anyone.
Just a broad smile, a
single fingered salute,
and the occasional grab
of his crotch in defiance.
It was the perfect bromance,
formed out of necessity
for each other
in what they lacked
in themselves.
Anthony's need for protection,
and Achilles' need to fight
for a righteous cause.
It was both sweet and tender,
but sycophantic and patronizing.
Never been so
offended in all my life.
[car engine rumbling]
Al Pacino or Robert De Niro?
If you had to choose one, yeah?
I mean if you had
to choose one, right?
Who's your favorite?
Yeah, I knew you'd say that.
Only 'cause you think
you look like him.
I do look like him.
That's not the only reason.
Well, De Niro's
the better actor.
Taxi Driver, Raging Bull,
he is probably the
greatest actor of all time.
In my most humble opinion.
Michael fucking Corleone,
Tony fucking Montana,
and that blind bloke
from Scent of a Woman.
Yeah, but Pacino has a habit
of over-acting, don't he?
Yeah, well Robert
De Niro's a pervert.
What do you mean,
he's a pervert?
You know how he fucks
black women, don't you?
So what?
That don't make you a pervert.
No, I'm not talking
about Beyonce black.
I'm talking about
Venus Williams black,
the butch muscular type.
Well, so what?
That's just his type.
Different strokes for
different folks and all that.
What about you and
your Chinese birds?
And you know his father was
a famous artist, don't you?
What, a poof?
Put it this way, the
conception of Robert De Niro
was probably the only time
his dad fucks a woman.
Before and after that,
it was just cock,
cock, cock, cock, cock.
Doesn't make you
any less of an actor.
What about all
this political thing?
He's become a super
woke left wing wanker.
I hate people like that, you
know, male feminist types.
Everybody knows, secretly,
they're just like the rest of us,
and only act like that
to get close to women
in hope of a mercy fuck.
Fucking wankers.
All right,
fair point on the
male feminist, yeah?
But unfair point on Bobby D.
The man is an artist.
Look at Goodfellas.
Robert De Niro owes all his
success to Martin Scorsese.
You name me one
decent De Niro film
without Scorsese in
the director's chair.
[Plato] John "The Actor"
Adamos was a failed actor
who didn't get any further
than a line in The Bill,
but a good man, a family man,
and as old school as they come.
[triumphant music]
He gave up acting for the joy
of housing benefits
and child support,
but he never complains.
He finds a way to provide,
like all good men do.
No matter how innovative
that way may be.
[screwdriver banging]
[phone beeping]
[phone ringing]
[explosion banging]
I wanna report a theft.
My car's been stolen.
I parked it at the
end of the driveway,
and when I got up to go to
work this evening, it was gone.
[fire crackling]
[lively music]
Bastards! Cocksuckers!
Woo hoo!
[Taz yelling]
Taz was raised in a small
town in middle Ireland,
moved into London in his teens
when he fell foul of the local
crime boss, Pat McCullen,
after sleeping with
the feared gangster's
80 year old mother.
Taz was a natural rule
breaker who lived to shock
and would do the most
outrageous things
just to get a reaction
from the other Bezonians.
But deep down, all
Taz ever really wanted
was to be noticed.
[Taz yelling]
[lively music]
[record scratching]
Enough of that.
[gentle music]
[Taz sighing]
All right.
I'm not shaking your hand.
Coronavirus, remember?
Don't believe everything
the government tells you, Taz.
The day I stop shaking hands
is the day I turn in my balls,
slap on a blond wig and makeup,
and go by the name of Lisa.
[Taz laughing]
[Taz] Fair enough.
[Plato] The Bezonians wasn't
as profitable as it once was,
so I had a small side business.
Nothing industrial
sized or anything,
just five plants
producing North London's
finest herbs since 2006.
And Taz would purchase the
vast majority of my produce
every nine weeks.
Taz was the local drug dealer,
or road pharmacist as he
liked to call himself.
His customers were
mainly single mothers
from the local council estates
who would blow their gyro on
a cheap high once a fortnight.
Now that's the Californian
strain I was telling you about.
Fuck me! [laughing]
That's not bad, Plato.
Plato, Plato, Plato.
Anthony come, come,
come see, see, see,
because obviously, obviously
I think Lola's here now
and I've got all of the goods
having going to go now Plato.
[Anthony stammering]
- Plato, Plato.
- All right,
all right, all right, all right.
Taz, we're gonna have to
hurry this up, mate, come on.
Lola's here, it's my
anniversary Tuesday.
- [Anthony stammering]
- There you go.
Oh, fuck's sake, you
scavenging bastards,
you've taken all the good stuff.
Right now gentlemen, these
are the real deal, yeah?
Directly from my man in Milan.
The ideal gift for the
woman in your life,
and it's 50% off the
retail price, yeah?
And that is only because
you're all friends of Plato's.
Here Lola, how
much is this, babe?
That one's 65 darling.
I'll do it for you for 60.
This Karen Millen?
I dunno babe, that's
Prada, brand new.
- Hi, Achilles.
- Prada.
Hi Achilles, [mumbling]
it's just me, Anthony.
[stammering] Achilles,
where, where, where, where did
you get them sunglasses from?
I've been, you know, obviously,
how, how, how, how
much were they?
Because obviously
when, when, when, when
when I get my money,
I obviously want,
I'm gonna buy a pair just
like that as well, Achilles,
so, so, so, so, so,
obviously, obviously,
I can look just like you.
[Plato] Around once a fortnight,
Lola Nightingale
would pay us a visit
with the latest Louis
Vuitton, Roberto Cavalli,
and Versace handbags,
and let's face it,
everyone loves a bargain.
Yeah, go on, 60, but
for you, Plato, go on.
[Plato] There was
something about Lola
that was different to
other women around here.
Lola had a way of wrapping
men around her little finger
with a simple flick of
her beautiful blonde hair.
In the wild, animals
all class themselves
in a social hierarchy.
[people chatting]
At the very top, the alphas.
The alphas dominate
all around them
with their superior
wit and savvy,
as well as aggression,
if and when it is needed.
Alphas often use sexual behavior
in a dominance
display towards beta
and omega members
of their society.
Other animals display
subordinate behavior
towards these alphas,
and often, the beta animals
act as a second in command
to the reigning alphas.
But the betas, essentially,
are slaves to the alphas,
and do what their told
to if the alphas insist.
Here you go, buttercup.
Oh, good boy Willard.
There's a bit extra in
there, there's 20 grand there.
Oh lovely, did he put
up much of a struggle?
Oh, you never, what,
all three of 'em?
Well you know, he showed
a bit of stubbornness,
and I take that as
stupidity, Lola.
Most people don't kill
an entire family though,
do they, Willy?
I'm sorry, Lola, don't
be angry with me, will ya?
Now look, I'm not
mad at you, yeah?
But I am in a mad hurry,
so if you don't mind
making your own way
from here, yeah?
What do you mean?
Me motor's three miles that way.
Well look, love, for
your troubles, yeah?
So I'll, you know I'll
do anything for you, Lola.
I love you.
I've really gotta
go, babe, yeah?
See you round, sex on legs.
I love you, Lola.
[lilting music]
Happy anniversary,
my angel from above.
[Helen] Oh.
You look as beautiful as
the first day I ever met you.
And you're still a sweet talker.
Presents for you,
directly from my man in Milan.
You're the best
husband in the world.
Don't you love 'em?
Oh me, [gasping]
Breakfast is the most
important meal of the day,
and never has that been more
true than in my household.
I was hardly ever
round for dinner
as that was peak hours
at The Bezonians,
so every morning at seven AM,
I would catch up on the
previous day's events
in the lives of
my loving family.
What you do at school
today, Christopher?
Home economics.
Home economics?
What's that then?
Cooking and stuff, like
today, I made a cake.
Christopher, men don't cook.
That's a woman's job.
When you grow up, you're
gonna meet a woman
and you're gonna marry her,
and she's gonna cook for you,
so next time your teacher
tells you to bake a cake,
you tell her your dad
said you're not a woman
and you're not a poof,
and there should be no more
talk about baking, right?
Don't tell him things like that,
you'll get him in trouble.
Fuck 'em, Helen.
I'm raising a man, not a fairy.
Some of the best cooks
in the world are men.
What about Gordon Ramsey?
That's a load of bollocks.
You know as well as I know
the best cook in the world was
my mother, God rest her soul,
followed by you and
then your mother.
Greek women are the
best cooks in the world,
none of these celebrity
French bollocks.
Men cooking is all a
bit feminine for me.
Whatever happened to
the good old days,
where the man would
be out working,
the woman would be at home
looking after the house
and preparing dinner
for her husband?
I tell you what happened
to it, left wing bullshit,
that's what happened to it.
What this Country needs
is a proper leader,
like the Americans have got,
someone like that Donald
Trump, a proper bloke.
Oh, you and your politics.
Fucking Mexicans.
[scoffing] Stupid.
What about you, Alexander?
What's the latest?
Yeah, I'm good, Dad.
[Plato] How's school?
It's good.
When I was at university-
- You went university, Dad?
Yeah, I went to university,
thank you very much.
The University of Reading.
For a term.
Doesn't matter, I
still went to uni.
For a term, thank you Helen.
I used to sell weed
to all the posh kids.
Made a bloody fortune, I did.
Now, you should try
doing something like that
at your school, Alexander,
make a bit of
extra pocket money.
You cost me a fortune, you do.
Maybe, Dad.
Don't listen to
your stupid father.
But it doesn't mean
you don't have to study.
Anything less than six
grade As in your GCSEs
and you and me are
gonna have a fist fight.
Yes, Dad.
I'm not joking, son.
I'll seriously fuck you up.
You and your low expectations!
If I don't get 10 A stars,
I'm gonna hang myself anyway.
[Helen yelling]
Don't say things like
that, I don't like it.
[Helen muttering]
[sleazy music]
[Plato] Mavron Mike Hagler.
Mavron literally
meant black in Greek.
A nickname he gave himself
once he figured out
what this Greek word was
that the elders kept saying
every time he was around.
But still, it was never
meant with any malice.
You're Mavron Mike, yeah?
Depends who's asking, don't it?
Yeah, they said you'd say that.
Can I ask you something, mate?
Depends what it is, don't it?
All right, so, er,
I'm a shotter, right.
And my regular fella
is away in Cyprus,
he's yia yia's sick, man, so
he could be gone for a while.
Basically what I'm trying to
say is can you get me anything?
What you talking, weed, coke?
No, weed man, just a
little skunk, you know,
nothing too serious, mate.
So tell me, whatever possessed
you to come and ask me?
Well you know.
You're a bad boy yardie, nah?
[laughing] A yardie?
Yeah, what, ain't it, like,
part of your religion or
something, smoking weed?
So what you want?
That's gonna cost ya.
So well, what do you
normally pay for it?
About four grand a key.
This stuff's gonna
cost you at least five.
Five grand a kilo?
Hold it down, what
you shouting for?
Look, this stuff is good.
And it's Jamaican.
What, from yard, yeah?
Yes, from bomberclaat yard, eh.
Fuck it, I'll take it.
Where is it?
All right.
We're gonna have to go
and see my yardie cousin
just round the corner.
It's not far, come,
follow me, eh.
[arcade machine beeping]
[exciting music]
I'm gonna kill you, bitch,
I'm gonna, I'm gonna
kill you, bitch.
I'm gonna kill you, bitch.
I'm gonna kill you, bitch.
[picture clattering]
I'm gonna kill you, bitch.
I'm gonna kill you, bitch.
[Anthony coughing]
[picture thudding]
[George] Mate, I've always
wanted to go Jamaica, you know.
All right, you
see that man there?
That's my cousin, Bob,
named after Bob,
yeah man. [laughing]
He's a big time yardie.
Right, give me the money
and wait right here.
What, can't I meet him,
have a look at the skunk
before I buy it and that?
You mad?
You crazy?
Him no like white man at
all, at all, at all, boss.
I'm not white, mate, I'm Greek.
You try and tell
him the difference.
No, no, it's too dangerous.
Look, if you want it, you
gonna have to trust me.
All right, all right.
You sure it's proper, yeah?
It's definitely Jamaican, yeah?
Fresh from Spanish
Town, my bredrin,
eh, oo, Jah
Rastafari. [laughing]
All right, give
me the money, man.
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
I'll be here, yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you wait right there.
[Plato] Mike picked up
the Bezonian lifestyle
from his late father,
Carlton McNally Hagler,
who was friends with my father
as far back as the '60s.
Mike was one of the funniest
fuckers I've ever met.
Playful, and a joy to
be around most days.
Hello mate.
I'll catch you on the way back,
I'll catch you on the way back.
[Plato] But always
had his eyes open
and ready for a too good
to be true opportunity,
if and when one
presented itself.
Wagwan, Bob blud.
I'm bredrins with your
cousin, Mavron Mike.
Me a Greek man, you
know, like the Spartans.
You know the Spartans,
don't ya, hey?
Warrior tribe, with the
spear, and helmets and that.
Me waiting for me kilo, mate,
is, um, everything
irie with it, boss?
Have you got any
spare change, mate?
Oh, for fuck's sakes!
[George sighing]
[people chatting]
[speaking in foreign language]
Put your phone down.
[lively Mediterranean music]
Bunch of lazy bitches.
[people laughing]
[Plato] Friday night at
Bezonians was ladies' night,
a tradition I followed on
from when my father
had the place.
Girls came from the local
sauna on Green Lanes.
Mainly Eastern European,
and for 50 quid, they could
make all your dreams come true.
This attractive
lady in the corner
is not a cheaper alternative.
This is Eris Buster,
the local madame and not
a lady to be trifled with.
She pretty much kept
herself to herself,
but was there to
make sure the girls
were being obedient
to the customers,
rather than for their
protection from us scallywags.
No, I don't want to.
Oh, come on, girl.
I don't like the
black men, too big.
It's a myth.
Look, I've only got six inches.
Ruby, do as you're
told, my love.
It's okay, Eris, relax babe.
Look, I'm not interested,
I'm a married man.
Keep your nose out of her
business, all right nigga?
[Mavron Mike] What you say?
You just call me nigga?
Yeah, I called you nigga, nigga!
Nigga, nigga,
nigga, nigga, nigga!
What you gonna do
about it, nigga?
[Plato] The Bezonians was
more than a social club.
Its members had known each
other since we were kids.
[glass smashing]
And an attack
on one of our members
is an attack on all of us.
[Plato] Mavron Mike was no
different to the rest of us
just because he's black.
This would be the last ladies'
night at The Bezonians.
[lively surf music]
Eris came for revenge
with her five brothers.
It was 'im.
[Plato] Stevie
"Knuckle Duster" Buster,
Will "The Warlord" Buster,
Brian "The Bully" Buster,
and middle child Jamal Buster.
He supposedly inherited
the color and hair
from his Spanish
and not the next door
neighbor, Jamaican Jermaine.
For every action,
there's a reaction,
but a wise man of action
is always preparing
for a reaction.
Bang bang bang
Bang bang bang bang
[people yelling]
[glass smashing]
Get 'im!
Go on, Stevie, get 'im!
[people yelling]
[glass smashing]
[Stevie groaning]
[Plato] Surrounded
by bats, bodies,
Buster brothers, and the entire
patronage of The Bezonians,
Achilles still found a
way of taking center stage
by proclaiming his
dominance and superiority
over his peers in his latest
battle fought and won.
[Achilles screaming]
Unfortunately for Achilles,
his latest call to adventure
wouldn't be as easy.
Pathetic excuse of a man.
Aren't why? Say you are?
Aren't you?
Yes you are, let
me hear you say it.
Mm, pathetic, aren't you?
[phone ringing]
Right, you're gonna wait here,
you pathetic excuse of a man.
Mommy Lola needs to take this.
Might be important.
This better be good, it's
not really a good time.
[adventurous music]
Who the fuck is Achilles?
I don't know no Achilles.
Look, I really like what I saw,
and I wanna take you out.
Somewhere fancy, you
know what I mean?
[laughing] So you
wanna take me out, do ya?
Yeah, go on, I'll
let you take me out.
I warn ya, I'm a big eater.
Where were we?
Aren't you pathetic?
Aren't you pathetic?
- Do you love it, though?
- I love it.
- I love it!
- You love being smacked,
- don't you?
- I love it.
Because you're a little
imbecile, aren't you?
- Yeah.
- Yes,
little imbecile. [laughing]
You little freaky
imbecile, aren't you?
- Woof.
- Louder.
- Bark for me, boy.
- Woof.
- Bark.
- Woof.
[Lola] Louder.
- Woof!
- I can't fucking hear you!
I've gotta go walkies.
[Lola laughing]
[Lola] You wanna go walkies?
Uh huh.
- Uh huh.
- Yeah?
Our little boy wanna go walkies?
[refined music]
[fork banging]
I told you I was a big eater.
I don't give a fuck, mate.
Has anyone ever told
you how beautiful you are?
All the time.
It's kinda like my
thing, that, you know?
[speaking in foreign language]
[Lola laughing]
What the fuck did he just say?
[record scratching]
What you say, pal?
Sorry, sorry, it's a joke!
[refined music]
[Plato] Achilles was
certainly an alpha male,
and like all true alpha males,
they seek a fellow alpha
to create what is
known as an alpha pair.
The alpha pair form a formidable
partnership in the wild
and dominate their species.
Lola was an Alpha female in
the truest sense of the word,
it had the makings
of the perfect match.
The trouble was Achilles
had never encountered
an alpha female before.
[Lola] This is me.
It was sweet of you to
walk me home, honestly,
you didn't have to though, yeah?
I ain't really one of
them shrinking violets,
you know what I mean?
Quite quiet, aren't ya?
You've not really said
anything to me all evening.
I mean, you're the one that
asked me on a date, remember?
I only really agreed 'cause
I didn't wanna upset Plato.
He is a fucking good
bloke, you know?
Can I see you again please?
You're not really my type.
Well, what's your type?
Well, I like,
I like an outgoing
type, an extrovert.
You mean a fucking poof.
Er, no, I don't mean
I want a homosexual man
to be the potential
father of my unborn child,
thank you very much.
Feminine man, then.
No, not that either.
I want a man's man.
I'm a fucking man's
man, I'm an alpha male.
[Lola] Oh honey, you dress
far too well to be a man's man.
I'm talking rough,
rugged, tattoos, stubble.
You know, caveman, like, urgh,
you know, like club you over
the head and fuck you type.
You know, I want a real man.
I can change.
No, no, no, no, no.
You shouldn't have to
change, not for anyone,
especially not a bird, eh?
Look, you are gonna meet
a really nice Greek girl
who's gonna think
you're wonderful,
and she's gonna worship
the ground you walk on.
She's gonna pump out three
or four little kiddies for ya
and you're gonna name
them after your parents,
like you Greeks love to do,
and you two are gonna
live happily ever after
in Palmers Green, hmm?
You'll forget I ever
existed, I promise you.
I won't.
Look, thanks again
for dinner, yeah?
See you round, slick.
[lively music]
[Plato] Any sign of
a little bit of sun,
and the charcoal will be lit
and our radios tuned to LGR
as we all annoy our neighbors
with the sweet smell
of succulent pork,
lamb, and chicken souvlaki
that would melt off the bone
and into our
overstretched stomachs.
[lively music]
[doorbell buzzing]
[record scratching]
[lilting music]
Can I join you, Achilles?
[speaking in foreign language]
You haven't been
seeming yourself lately.
You've obviously got
a lot on your mind,
I'll leave you to it.
[speaking in foreign language]
[Anthony mumbling]
Who's up for a big
poker night next Saturday?
250 entry, winner takes
all, Texas hold 'em.
Mike, are you in?
Well, I ain't
doing nothing else.
Sure I'm in.
Leftie, bit poker night
next Saturday, you in?
- Leftie?
- Huh?
Big poker night
next Saturday, you in?
[Leftie] Yeah, I'm in, yeah.
Achilles, you in?
Achilles, poker.
I'll even invite
Lola if you want.
What, you think she'll come?
Yeah, course she'll come.
Lola, she likes a game of poker.
Taz, poker on Saturday,
Texas hold 'em, you in?
[Taz] Yeah, why not?
[Anthony stammering]
Oh fi, I would like to
play as well, of course.
[Taz] Oh, for fuck's sake.
I'm not playing if he's playing,
he fucking ruins it, man.
I'll tell you what, Anthony.
Just for you, I'm gonna
change up 50 ones for you
so you can play all night
on that arcade game
you love so much.
But the, well, 50 ones
is obviously so much,
there's no need
for that, though.
That is, that's,
that's obviously very kind of you, Plato.
Obviously are you sure?
Never more so.
Everything all right, Achilles?
You don't seem yourself, mate.
Some say it's better
to have loved and lost
than to have never loved at all.
Whoever said that didn't know
what the fuck they
were talking about.
[stammering] Obviously,
there are some people
that they say that.
It's better to
have loved and lost
than obviously to never
have loved at all.
[door banging]
people say that, clearly.
They obviously just don't know
what they're talking about.
[upbeat music]
[buttons beeping]
[door buzzing]
[Plato] Saturday night came,
and it was a good turnout,
considering the
media scaremongering
in regards to the
coronavirus bullshit.
I love a good poker
night as the rate
was five percent
on all hands dealt,
so it was win win for me.
And on a good night,
I could make over five grand
with the right clientele.
Right then, it's time to
show you Greeks how it's done.
No offense, Mike, yeah?
I'll have you all tonight.
No offense taken.
I'm going home.
[John] Where you going?
Give us a chance to
win back our money.
Hi, Achilles.
Thanks again for
a lovely dinner.
Oh bless him, he's
sensitive, ain't he?
Take a seat, Lola,
and tell us what the fuck
you did to our Achilles.
[Taz] Yeah, seriously though,
you might have broke him.
I mean, some men are
just soft, ain't they?
Yeah, I've never heard anyone
call Achilles soft before.
Have you, Leftie?
Always hard but never soft.
[Lola] Hey, that's what he said.
[people laughing]
Right then, let's play
some fucking poker.
[Nina] Small blind, 25.
Big blind, 50.
No limits Texas hold 'em.
Ain't you playing, Plato?
[Plato] I'd love to,
darling, but I'm the house.
Best I stay neutral.
[upbeat music]
I should have read the
early warning signs.
At first, it just seemed
like a ditzy blonde
getting a little lucky.
I was sure her luck
would soon run out.
But what we were dealing with
was a cold-hearted
hungry lioness,
surrounded by
injured wildebeests.
[upbeat music]
No, no, no, no.
Fucking hell, shirt off my back.
Fucking hell.
[speaking in foreign language]
Fucking bollocks, man, I
never learn my fucking lesson.
[Plato] Little did any
of us poor bastards know
but Lola had been playing poker
for as long as she could walk.
Her grandfather was
the great Phil Burgman,
winner of the third
World Series of Poker
in Las Vegas, Nevada
and every Sunday,
he would teach Lola the
intricacies of the game,
everything from when
to bluff, when to fold,
and when to go all in.
All in.
[exciting music]
[cards thudding]
Oh dear.
You know what?
You're not just a
beautiful woman.
You're a very
lucky, lucky woman.
Well. [laughing]
I guess that's it, then.
Unless you've finally grown
a pair of balls, Plato.
You don't wanna
play me, darling.
Trust me, I'm not like the
rest of these mugs here.
I know what I'm doing.
Why don't you put your
money where your mouth is,
big shot, hmm?
We can all talk a good game.
Well, exactly how much
did you want to play for?
How much you got?
[tense music]
I call.
I really didn't wanna
have to do this to ya,
but someone's gonna have
to teach you a lesson.
Raise you, 5,000.
I call.
All in.
The straight's no
good to you now, lady.
Are you sure about that?
As positive as Freddie Mercury.
That's 50 grand.
You can't do that, buy
in in the middle of a hand.
It's the rules.
Well, this is house
rules, and it's your house.
Unless you're not so confident,
I mean, suddenly you
don't seem so cocksure.
Oh, I'm sure about
my cock, sweetheart.
You can be sure of that.
How much did you say that was?
I bet you all of
that, all of it.
Well, you've only got about
10 there, where's the rest?
It's 50 grand, I told you.
I'm good for it, darling,
don't you worry about that.
You just worry
about whether or not
you can afford to lose
all that money to me.
I don't want some poor
kiddie going hungry
'cause mommy blew all
the shopping money.
So just to be clear,
you are technically
raising me 50 grand.
I'll raise you anything
you want, you silly cow.
I call.
[Lola sighing]
[Lola laughing]
That don't count.
You've only won the money
sitting on the table,
nothing more.
You can't do that,
you owe me 50 grand.
You seriously think I'm
gonna give you 50 grand?
You're delusional, darling.
Don't fuck with me, yeah, Plato.
Do not fuck with me, hmm?
I'm sending someone over to
collect my money a week today,
you'd better have it, yeah,
or it ain't gonna
end well for you.
Are you fucking
threatening me, you bitch?
No one threatens
me, do you hear me?
You can't change the rules in
the middle of a fucking hand.
This ain't the Wild West,
this is North fucking London.
And you done well
enough tonight, Lola.
You've made a small fortune.
So we're even Lola, yeah?
We're square.
One week.
You can't change the rules
in the middle of a game.
She can't do that,
I can't do it,
nobody can fucking do it.
This is real life, not a
fucking Hollywood movie.
I don't know, Mr. Plato.
Seems like a lot of money to me.
[Plato] The following morning,
there was a
tenseness in the air.
A smell in the room that
there would be repercussions
for the beating I took,
both to my pride,
and my bank balance.
The dirty, filthy,
rotten slag is pregnant.
500 it's gonna cost
me to get rid of it.
Fucking abortion.
Good fucking thump
in the stomach,
that's what she wants,
the dirty fucking cunt.
Which one?
What's the difference?
So, so, so obviously,
obviously, just because,
you know, I just don't
wanna, [stammering]
what's, what's actually is
a, is a abortion, Plato?
It's a terrible thing.
Look, can we just change
the subject please?
Plato, that's not
like you to clam up.
Talk to us, man.
- Yeah.
- That's what we're here for.
We're hardly gonna judge ya.
I mean, look at the
fucking state of us.
[somber music]
It was a long time ago.
Seems like forever now,
couldn't be more than 20.
She was beauty personified.
Huge brown eyes, luscious lips,
buttered toast hair.
What about her tits?
Did she have nice tits?
[John laughing]
I was smitten with
her at first sight.
She, um,
she already had a boyfriend,
but it didn't matter
to either of us.
We fell madly, deeply,
and passionately in love.
The incident, um,
probably happened
when we first fucked each other.
The wild and war
continued for months, but,
we couldn't be separated.
When she first told
me she was pregnant,
my initial thought was joy.
I was so in love with
her, she was so beautiful.
But then I thought,
what if it's not mine?
I mean, she had a
boyfriend when we met,
and she cheated on him with me,
I mean, what, what if she
cheated on me with someone else?
So I had a few drinks,
I asked her straight.
I said, "Do you
think it's mine?"
The minute I asked her
that stupid question,
was like our flame was put
out in the fighting times.
She, um, never loved
me the same way again.
The, um,
the abortion, um,
was a mutual decision,
but if I asked, if only,
she would have
kept it, I'm sure.
But I couldn't
pluck up the courage
or the emotional stability
to go to the clinic with her.
So I just stayed alone drinking.
Praying to God for
some help and guidance.
So she went through with it?
It was the biggest
regret of my life.
A sin that will stain
my soul forever.
One which I will carry
with me from my grave.
I'm sorry.
Try not to regret, Plato.
There's nothing you can
do about the past, yeah?
It's a wasted emotion.
[Anthony sobbing]
[glass clinking]
You lot are a bunch
of fucking girls.
I've had about seven, and I
couldn't give a flying fuck.
This kind of geezer, man.
[Taz laughing]
Fuck me.
[door knocking]
Taz, what's happening, man?
What's happening Linda?
Come to get that
money that you owe me.
Fucking hell, Taz
man, I'm brassic.
How much is it?
50 quid.
And I've waited 10 weeks
for me money, Linda.
I can't wait any longer.
I've got 4 in my
purse, you can have that.
Linda, don't talk to
me about 4, all right?
I need me fucking money.
Look, Taz, man,
I've known you for ages.
I'm sure we can
work something out.
What kinda something?
[Taz groaning]
[bed thudding]
Fuck yeah.
[Taz groaning]
Hello mate, you seen
Mavron Mike about?
Mavron Mike, no one's seen him?
- Who?
- Mavron Mike.
He's not inside?
No one's seen him?
Dunno who you mean, mate.
What about you,
you seen Mavron Mike?
Mavron Mike, you seen him?
Mavron Mike, you
seen Mavron Mike?
[people muttering]
[doorbell buzzing]
Mavron Mike in there?
No? You seen him?
No, Mavron Mike's
immigrated to Jamaica.
Achilles, you seen
Mavron Mike about?
Why's everyone fucking
being like that?
[somber music]
Hey mate, you coming in?
Yes please, mate,
yeah, thank you.
All right fellas,
looking for Plato.
Sorry mate, we're members
only I'm afraid, so.
Oh, so how do I
apply for a membership?
No, we're not currently
taking on any new members.
What's that, Greeks only?
Does he look Greek to you?
Not particularly,
but you know what?
Me application can wait.
Apparently you owe my
gorgeous girlfriend
a large sum of money.
I know it's not
due til Saturday.
Just to let you know, I'll be
here to collect it personally.
Listen, it was just
a misunderstanding,
I don't actually owe
Lola any more money.
It was just a joke.
Just a joke?
Not very funny, is it?
[Plato] Well, you
had to be there.
Okay, sure.
I'll see you Saturday.
It was just a joke.
[lively music]
[Anthony stammering]
Hello, of course, it's Anthony,
you actually have a very,
very shiny dressing gown on,
and standing on the
pavement, of course,
with you, actually
it's very funny,
because of course
you're actually
only supposed to wear
dressing gowns at home
in the living room.
Um, and of course, you're,
actually you are very,
excuse me, very beautiful.
I hope you actually
enjoy your night.
Thank you, darling, you too.
Obviously, obviously,
of course, of course
you're actually holding
hands, actually,
two men obviously holding hands.
Obviously [stammering]
Plato never holds my hand.
[sad music]
It's nap time.
So tired, so, so,
so [stammering]
so stupid, such a
silly man, Plato.
So, so obviously you
lose all of your money
to, to, to, to, to, to,
to Lola. [muttering]
Such a silly man, Plato.
And Lola, Lola doesn't
like Achilles either.
But Achilles loves Lola.
Plato lost all of your
money to a girl, saddo.
Anthony can see him.
He wants his, he wants his Lola.
[Anthony muttering]
Please, if you please can,
can, can, can you
just please give me,
help me through,
through, through,
have something to give them,
some money for my, can you just,
just look after me please, um,
because, some, some, sometimes,
you know, sometimes,
I get a little bit,
a little bit scared.
You know, obviously
I would just like you
to obviously be my friend.
Some people, they
might not like me.
But, but, but, but actually,
you know, Achilles, they just,
they just don't know me.
I know, I know, I know
obviously I'm not your friend,
but Plato, and
obviously Achilles,
obviously they're very
good friends of mine,
and I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm
actually quite a nice,
quite a nice man.
Can, can, can, can
you please help,
help me clean up.
[stammering] I just really
would love some help please.
[door knocking]
[somber music]
[door knocking]
[Achilles] Where's Lola?
[people laughing]
Er, da, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da, da.
Leave him.
Lola, I want another date.
Can't you catch a hint, mate?
You couldn't handle me, baby.
What's your problem?
What, you think I'm scared?
Fucking pussies.
[ethereal music]
[Plato] Like all alpha males,
Achilles didn't
take rejection well.
But for a hero, the
harder the battle,
the sweeter the victory.
[glass smashing]
For fuck's sake!
Oh, my fucking couch.
[glass smashing]
[Plato] Andolis Rasoulis
was one of Britain's
largest drug traffickers
with a life sentence
of experience moving
heroin from Turkey,
through to Greece,
and into Europe.
Rasoulis avoided prosecution
working as a highly respected
and long-serving
police informant
whose 30 years of information
has essentially given him
a license to operate freely
without fear of conviction.
If Willard was really
worth worrying about,
Andonis Rasoulis would
be the man to fill me in.
Leave us alone a
moment, will you George?
Sure, Mr. Rasoulis.
["Ave Maria" by Franz Schubert]
Plato, my dear friend,
what have you done?
How did you come to be acquainted
with such a vile devil?
This monster, this beast,
this fire-breathing
dragon is Willard Greb.
Now, Mr. Quinn, I
have the unenviable task
of carrying out a debt,
for my girlfriend, Lola.
My advice to you,
Plato, is to run.
Run far, far away
and never return.
[Tony] Please just don't
kill me and my family.
[gun banging]
[gun banging]
Put your head up, son.
[gun banging]
I needed help, and
I needed it fast.
Person I would normally turn to
when I would need some
backup was Achilles.
He was as tough as they come
with a proven track record.
But the saddest thing in life
is loving someone who
doesn't love you back.
Lola barely knew
Achilles existed.
Achilles was reduced to
a sulky, petulant mess.
He couldn't understand
why Lola didn't want him.
He was so used to women
throwing themselves at him,
the rejection was a
dagger into his ego,
and an arrow into his heel.
[glass smashing]
[Anthony moaning]
A man must be a man at
all times, Christopher.
I might not be around forever,
so there are a certain few
steps we might have to skip,
just in case.
I want you to do well at school.
Education is the
most important thing.
I'm not talking about your
bullshit, wanky subjects
like cooking cakes class.
I'm talking about maths,
English, science, history.
It's what sets us apart
from the barbarians.
You must always apply yourself.
Work hard and listen
to your teacher.
The hard work you put
into your education now
will pay off throughout
your life, believe me.
Now, this being said,
having this attitude when
it comes to education
might make you a target
for some of those
wannabe tough guy kids, right?
But we're Greek.
We're the sons of Zeus, we
don't take shit from anyone.
So if you think
someone's gonna hit you,
you always hit first.
Never let anyone get off on you.
You hit first, you hit hard,
and you keep on punching
until they're on the floor.
And once they're on the floor,
you make sure they stay down.
You do not want anyone
coming back at you
from behind with a knife
when you're celebrating your
victory with your mates, right?
So you stamp, and
you stamp hard.
Yes, Dad.
With your heel.
[Christopher] Yes, Dad.
I suppose you're getting
hard ons by now, right?
That's all right.
I did when I was your age.
When it comes down to birds,
there are two important
things you must know.
Number one.
Never fall in love too deeply.
A man must always be in
control of his emotions.
Fall in love too far,
and you'll have your heart
ripped out your chest
quicker than you can
say Captain Birdseye.
Number two.
The most important of all.
Only ever marry a Greek woman.
I don't mind you having a
bit of fun with outsiders.
God knows, I had my share
of fun over the years.
But when it comes
down to marriage,
the woman must be Greek.
We are the purest
race of people,
dating back thousands of years.
You must maintain
our pure bloodline.
But we live in England, Dad.
I don't give a shit
if we live on Jupiter.
We are God's chosen people,
creators of maths,
science, the arts,
sports, and I can go on all day.
For years, the rest of the
world's been jealous of us.
And ungrateful for the
things we've given them.
But secretly, they
all wanna be Greek.
Because we're the only ones
who've mastered the balance
between masculinity
and intelligence.
Dad, why are you
telling me this?
Are you dying or something?
We're all born to die, son.
We're all born to die.
[guitar strumming]
The day of reckoning was here,
and only the closest
of my Bezonian brethrin
turned up to stand by me
in my fight against evil.
I couldn't tell them what
Rasoulis had told me,
as I knew that would
crush the little spirit
like an elephant
tramping on a grape.
And after all,
hope is all we had left.
Anthony, stop.
Put it away.
[somber music]
I've got your back, Plato.
Actually, I'm not scared.
Of course, I just, I just, I
just wish Achilles was here,
Plato, because actually,
actually Achilles
is not scared of nobody.
And, and, and also,
he would actually
just give him one
punch and, and,
and send him straight back
to where he come from.
Where is Achilles anyway?
He's not been around
for a few weeks, has he?
Turns out Achilles
is human after all.
He's only gone and fallen
in love with that slag.
What slag?
The one that's got me
into all this trouble,
all this aggro.
What, Lola?
You know, I've never
really liked her.
Or her fake handbags.
They weren't fake.
Of course they were fake.
No, they weren't fake.
I bought a few for missus.
Doesn't make them
less fake now, does it?
What do we know
about this dickhead?
Lola's boyfriend.
Does he look tough?
Like fucking Satan, mate.
[Alexander] Who's Orpheus?
Oh, um,
Orpheus was the greatest
musician in the world.
They say he was so good that
he could charm his friends,
his enemies, wild beasts,
trees, even stones.
[Alexander] What?
One summer's day, Orpheus
met the beautiful Eurydice,
and instantly fell for her.
So he wrote her most beautiful
song he had ever written
and played it to her on his
favorite instrument, the lyra.
Well, Eurydice was captivated,
and she fell in
love with Orpheus
and the two lovebirds
soon got married,
and they had a wonderful
life, but it was short.
One day, Eurydice
was out in the forest
collecting fruits and
berries for Orpheus's desert
when she was bitten on the ankle
by a poisonous
snake and she died.
Well, Orpheus was
devastated, and desperate.
He couldn't bare to live
his life without Eurydice.
So he decided to make the
very dangerous journey
down into the Underworld
to find Hades,
who was the king
of the underworld
and the god of the dead.
He pleaded with Hades to
let Eurydice live again
and to persuade him,
he played him the most
heart-rending song on his lyre.
Orpheus sang majestically
and beautifully,
a soft and heartbreaking
song about his lost love.
Hades was so moved, he agreed
to let Eurydice live again,
but on one condition.
Orpheus could lead Eurydice
out of the underworld
but he mustn't look back
until they were both
back in the living world.
Well, obviously Orpheus
agreed without hesitation.
Hades shows Orpheus the way out,
and he assures him that
Eurydice's behind him.
Well, Orpheus starts
slowly making his way
through the pitch black,
towards the light.
As he was ascending,
doubt began to enter his mind.
What if it was a trick?
Maybe Hades was mocking him.
Maybe it was a hallucination
brought on by the grief
of losing Eurydice.
Maybe Eurydice wasn't
behind him after all.
Orpheus stopped, and he
listened very carefully,
but he could hear nothing
but deathly silence.
He lost his faith,
and he turned around,
and he looked back.
Eurydice was behind him.
She was a shadow that
would become flesh
when she was back on earth.
Orpheus gazed longingly
at his lost love
for the very last time.
Eurydice fell back
into the darkness
and was lost in the
underworld forever.
[somber music]
[Plato] Time was ticking,
and I was getting desperate.
[doorbell ringing]
[Anthony stammering]
Plato, Plato!
[mumbling] Achilles is here.
Hello Achilles.
Plato, [mumbling]
Plato, actually you're safe now,
because Achilles
has actually come.
Achilles is here, Plato, now.
There he is, the legend himself,
come to save us from
evil personified.
[sad music]
You here to help or what?
Although Achilles
was just one man,
I was sure if I can get
him to join my fight,
he would inspire the rest of us
into doing something out of
the ordinary, and heroic.
Forget it.
Just as I thought.
Nothing but an urban legend.
Don't, don't,
don't, don't say that
about Achilles, Plato.
Meet the real Achilles.
Come on, the real Achilles.
Nothing but a sulky,
heartbroken teenage girl.
Plato, Plato, don't
say that about Achilles.
You'll make him mad, Plato.
You must be mad to fall
in love with a slut.
A slut who doesn't
even want you, man.
A slut you only ever went
out on one date with.
Grow up, would you?
Snap out of it.
Leave him alone, man.
We can all catch a love
bug once in a while.
Not me.
I'm a man, mate.
I used to think
Achilles was a man.
[doorbell ringing]
[doorbell ringing]
[dramatic music]
Why just not let him in?
And now they're waiting
for you forever?
This is my business, my life.
Our lives.
We have to protect
what's ours, right?
Now, are you all with me?
I'm with you, Plato.
Nina, open the door
and get in the back.
[tense music]
[door buzzing]
[door creaking]
Evening gentlemen.
Evening to you.
We're not scared of you.
Shut up, Anthony.
Who's this, your local retard?
Not a retard!
Leave him alone, would you?
Yeah, I'll leave him alone,
when I collect the 50
grand for my lovely Lola.
So have you got me money, lads?
I told you already,
it's just a misunderstanding.
I don't owe her 50
grand, for god's sake.
[tense music]
And that's your final
word on the subject, is it?
All right, calm down, mate.
Is that thing real?
[gun banging]
Yeah, it's fucking real.
[John groaning]
Fucking bastard!
He fucking shot me, Plato!
He's fucking shot me! [groaning]
[John groaning]
I don't have much money,
but you can take it all.
[somber music]
[singing in foreign language]
[gun banging]
[gun banging]
[Achilles thudding]
[guitar thudding]
[bat thudding]
- [people yelling]
- Fuck him up, man!
Fuck him up, the asshole!
[glass smashing]
[people yelling]
[Plato] All right
guys, all right.
Enough now.
[Anthony sobbing]
Enough, easy now, easy.
[gentle music]
[Anthony] I don't want him
to go anywhere, Achilles.
Achilles, wake up.
[sad music]
[Plato] From the dawn of
civilization, the hero was born.
The hero is the most
virtuous amongst us.
It was the hero that saved us
from the fire-breathing dragon,
and belongs at the top
of any decent society.
We tell stories of the hero's
exploits and celebrate him.
The hero is the example of good.
And an example we
all strive for.
Lola Nightingale was not evil,
but to me, to my
Bezonian brothers,
and just about anyone
else round North London,
she was as evil as one could be.
The ultimate devil,
whose attraction,
temptation was so great,
it led to the downfall of
both the hero and the dragon.
Lola will forever be
remembered as a warning to all
of the suffering, the pain,
and the perils of love.
[Anthony stammering]
Plato. [mumbling]
[exciting music]
[people shouting]
[Anthony chatting]
[people talking]
[Anthony chatting]
[people talking]
You're so cute!
Thank you, thank you very much.
I am my own hero.
Are you ready for war
Been a long time coming
So we'll even the score
Now the past is nothing
Like lions, we roar
We will live for something
If we die by the sword
It won't be for nothing
Have you got the fight
We keep you running
for your life
It's gonna get heavy
You gotta be ready
Have you got the drive
The kind to put
your name in lights
If your not on your knees
Then you're just
not doing it right
Have you got the fight
Have you got the fight
We are brothers in arms
We will be forever
They will know who we are,
we will stand together
Have you got the fight
We keep you running
for your life
It's gonna get heavy
You gotta be ready
Have you got the drive
The kind to put
your name in lights
If you're not on your knees
Then you're just
not doing it right
Have you got the fight
Have you got the fight
Have you got the fight