The Big Rant (2021) Movie Script
So there is this tale about a fox who
sees some delicious looking grapes.
He tries to reach
and get a bite, but fails.
So he tries again and again and again
Until he finally says Fuck it and
decides to leave them..
They were probably sour anyway, right?
And that's me. Now, you're
probably wondering, oh, a brown guy.
He talks funny, dressed up well,
so probably works for an IT company,
Wrong.
Doctor Matthews,
I got updates for tomorrow's interview.
You'll be promoting the book at...
Cancel the event.
Come again.
You ever look at your life
through somebody else's eyes?
Would you be able to forgive what you saw?
I, Oh, I'm just going to consider
the event canceled.
Well, hang in there.
I'm gonna to tell you everything
that happened to me.
Definitely gonna to complain a lot
throughout this story. So forgive me.
My dear listeners,
after all the attempts of people
screwing me over in Los Angeles,
this is the moment that eventually
motivated me to leave the town.
Hell,
I hate this part of the story, but I'm
going to start from this point anyway,
because I think you'll enjoy it.
Hey, this is our guy?
Now this is our guy.
It's our fucking guy.
What's up? Tough guy.
How are you doing, huh?
Where you going?
Ahh!
Fucking look at me.
And that right there is the most action
you'll see in this whole story, my friend.
We are gonna see what happens
next a bit later, if you don't mind.
First off, let's introduce
the main character, me.
Hi, my name is Harry.
And this is a rant
about how some random guy in la la land
tried to reach those tasty grapes
just like the rest of the foxes..
Sometimes it's heaven,
sometimes it's hell,
sometimes I don't even know.
Sometimes I take it as far as I can.
Sometimes I don't even go.
My front tracks're headed
for a cold water well. My back
tracks're covered with snow.
Sometimes it's heaven,
sometimes it's hell.
Sometimes I don't even know.
Shit, that's me eight years ago.
What the fuck am I doing?
Damn, that's where
I was most confident about myself.
And it all went downhill from here.
Sorry, I'm a little late guys.
Are you sure about this guy, Kumail?
Well, nobody else showed up.
What the f... Nobody?
I got to sit to this tragedy because of a
fucking no show?
He's not... That bad
Course you're gonna to say that.
What's that supposed to mean?
You know what I mean?
All you guys stick together.
I'm not even Indian, you racist fuck.
Let's start.
Let's see. Let's see the third one.
Chapter 1 Plan B
Harry Short for Harold, right?
Actually, it's just how Harry.
Harold...
I think you should take acting lessons,
but, uh, I'd really like to focus on voice
acting, to be honest.
I know, but,
you've got the voice
and you've got the passion.
But when you when you
get the tone and the talent,
it's gonna be perfect.
There I was a headless
chicken listening carefully.
The crazy thing is
that I'd get bits of wisdom
like this all the time
because I failed all the time.
It always starts the same way.
You're good, but.
And hey, back then,
I welcomed this advice like a kiss ass.
Not sure if I can offer
any lessons right now.
Oh, you need a plan B..
Everyone in L.A. has one.
That's how it works.
I do gardening on the side.
Trust me. Anyone trying
to make it in Hollywood does.
Right.
No, no you can't
eat that in here.
Studio.
But he was...
He is the producer.
,
In the hallway okay?
Let's take a momentary break
from my part of the act.
Little did I know that
another of the major players of this story
was in a similar situation as me.
Tommy, you got a minute?
I, uh, I am starting a little something.
Here, and I was wondering
if you could spread these around for me.
Yeah. Yeah, no problem.
Thanks.
The new batch of paperback
is coming in today.
Do you have the checklist ready?
Great.
What's the point of coming in 10 minutes
early every day?
If you keep on forgetting
the important stuff.
Wake the fuck up, Will ya?
I need it on my desk in ten.
Actually, you know what?
Forget about it.
I'll just give it to Jessie.
Well, that was unnecessarily harsh,
Oh, no, no she's just stressed! And uh,
and and she's right, you know,
the paperwork is more your area.
Still.
It's fine. It'll be fine.
Um, doesn't matter.
But you better get cracking.
Or, you're gonna get an earful.
Do you mind if I take one?
Oh, not at all, please do. That's what
they're there for.
It's interesting.
Oh, it is. I promise.
Here you go. Thank you.
You look very disappointed.
Today didn't go well.
Why?
They don't seem to like me.
Did you try showing more cleavage?
I don't think I'll be able to pay
this month's rent.
Hmm, just last time.
Well you eventually came
through the following month,
so I'm sure this time will be the same.
It's fine. Just remember,
It only takes one big hit to
break into the industry.
Oh, you got mail, by the way?
Oh, yeah, I saw it when I came in.
And also, dear, I'm still trying to sublet
the garden apartment. So,
yeah, sure. I'll keep my eyes open.
All right. Good man.
Well, I'm off to bed.
Oh, I'm going to the library tomorrow
if you want to come.
I'm not sure if I have time to visit
the library, but I can drive you there.
Well, that will be a nice change of pace.
Good night, dear. Good night.
And remember one big hit and you're in
One Big Hit.
That night, with my manuscript in-hand,
these words echoed in the head.
Always have a Plan B.
All it takes is one big hit
An opportunity, any opportunity.
And you get the 15 minutes of fame
any artist craves.
And maybe this could be my plan B.
Writing novels.
Well, we have to let you go.
Oh, yeah, I figured.
I'm sorry, but...
No, no, no,
no, you don't have to be sorry.
Oh, no, no.
I mean, it's going to be awkward.
Umm,
Would you still have David Barnum's number?
Oh.
Did you see how he spoke to me? Well,
I would for sure kick his ass
if he meets me now.
But back then, I was too humble to do it.
Because maybe somewhere
deep down, I knew, I suck.
I'm sorry, we don't have the book
you were looking for.
But this one is much better.
Sure about that?
Trust me, you'll love it.
Just forget about that book.
Okay.
Charming
Oh! Ssshhhhi...
Umm,
Any chance we can, like,
forget that happened?
A report is the last thing I need
and my mom she...
No, no, no, hey, HEY. Calm down.
You're not in any trouble.
Really?
That was a pretty nifty trick
you did with the book there.
That guy didn't really want to buy
it, did he?
Nope.
I had a recently
set up a publishing company, and
I'm looking for a very
resourceful assistant.
What do you think?
You would have to deal with the
clientele and general paperwork.
I'm, uh, I'm good at one of those
two things.,
You'll learn the other.
I dunno... what's the pay?
A thousand dollars a week.
Done.
When do I start?
Today.
Now.
Where are you going?
To get myself fired.
Oh.
Thank you. Yes. No problem.
How's the job hunt coming?
Um. actually..
Oh, what have you got here?
An identical visitor.
Just something on the side.
If the whole voice thing doesn't work out.
Oh, actually, I just
got this at the library.
It's a new publishing company.
I bet they're looking
for some new content.
Knock on that door.
See what happens.
So when you're meeting with a publisher.
Same thing happens as it does
anywhere else in corporate America.
Step one, invite them to a nice place.
Step two, send in a random person
with a mandatory handshake
who introduces herself
as an "executive" assistant.
Well, the fiction novel
is actually pretty competitive.
Only 20 percent of the books.
OK, let me stop you right
there. Step three.
I'd like to see the main guy here.
Sir,
you're obviously new at this
and I on schedule here, so...
Hey, Lenny.
Yeah.
Zelig?
A new gig?
You ever get one of those days
where your confidence
boost affects everything around you?
I was handed a last minute
voicer gig by Lenny.
This guy.
Said I was perfect for the part.
And suddenly Jessie here was scared
she might just lose her very first client.
Yeah, he wants to see you.
Yeah, I'll get there
as soon as I'm done with this.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be there.
He'll be here any moment.
Cool.
I just moved here like a year ago,
and I've been doing voice acting
since then and few things on the side.
This is just uh...
another thing on the side?
Exactly.
Why don't you tell me about the plot?
Glad you asked this, this story
about a mundane guy,
a simple man, just like you and me.
Now our guy wants to be
famous at all costs.
So, he comes across a time machine.
At first, he doesn't know
what to do with it.
If he does something too big,
it could rewrite the history.
So he tries to do something smaller.
He travels to the future
to steal a bestselling book of that time
and comes back to present and publishes it
with his name, making millions
and being acclaimed as a visionary.
Hmm.
So, what's next?
Oh, well, like film producers, publishers
mostly work for the audience.
This case, the readers
and we have demographics
of what readers think of the content
that they are reading.
And we will be working with you on that.
What she means is that we may have to make
some necessary changes
in order to reach your target audience.
Oh, it could be a small thing
like changing the cover,
some character names, adding diversity.
Yeah, exactly.
Just like in movie theaters.
Uhh, people buy tickets to
forget their day to day life.
I tell you what I do.
Instead of this mundane guy,
come up with a character
who's larger than life,
make him a time traveler
to be to begin with.
A man who travels through the universe's
various ages. Yeah.
A witness to history, if you will.
And that part about entertainment?
Oh, oh, make that his tragic flaw.
Instead of not using his time machine
because he doesn't know what could happen,
he knows exactly what the consequences
of his actions are.
Which is why he focuses on the smaller
things, like like stealing books
to entertain himself.
Because he knows that
when he stops being entertained,
it might tempt him to use this machine
for far more sinister purposes.
That's specific.
Ok, so you want me to make it
about someone else then?
Mr. Chandra, just how much
writing experience do you have?
This is my first.
It's all right.
We can publish you as a debut writer
something that is good marketing wise.
Ok. Let me be a little honest here.
I don't want to make any changes.
I don't feel like making any changes.
So either you can publish it or simply
forget about it.
Well, let's not...
As I said, I'm on schedule.
It's ok. It's ok.
Let me know if anything changes.
Charming
Hey, Lenny. 15 minutes, my ETA.
See you buddy.
I didn't think you'd still up.
I'm not usually. It's a urgent
request from a client.
They're overseas.
Ok, so do you want me to do
an American accent? or...
you're perfect.
Sure? I can.
Moroccan real estate's a distant dream.
Now a warm home closer to your heart.
The smallest of wins in a journey
means a lot to us, ordinary foxes.
Of course, there will be bumps on the road
if plan B fails? Jump back to plan A
and figure out what went wrong.
You will find that is always
a room for the new beginning.
I'm from New York.
Oh, the Big Apple.
What brings you to La La Land?
I came here to pursue acting.
You're an actress?
Yep.
The only one in L.A..
You know what they say?
There're as many people coming
to Hollywood as they're leaving it.
A little distraction
and you're ready to change your Plan B.
You think you could give me some acting
lessons?
Yeah. Sure.
This would be a nice place
to end the story, right?
Wrong.
Two years later, the only person
who really cared about me
was taken away.
A stroke took us all by surprise.
Of course, I moved to a new place,
start a new life again.
Just remember one big hit
and you are in.
But she never left me.
Not really.
One big hit...
Hey, it's Ted. Do your thing after
the tone.
Hey, Ted, it's um, it's Harry.
I'm trying to get back out there,
started acting, too now.
Hit me up if you're
looking for any actors.
I'm here to serve you.
I don't know what I want.
Or at least I think I do.
All right, I don't.
The truth is, I know I have potential.
I just don't know what to do with it.
In freshman year,
they would ask us what we wanted to be
when you grew up.
And every day kids would say things like,
I'm going to be a doctor,
an accountant, a teacher,
a lawyer, president.
And then my turn would come.
And I couldn't answer.
Because my answer was beaten out of me.
Every day.
Scene.
All right, so now that we're ready
to focus on some specifics,
let's create a character
that you see yourself playing.
And if you're struggling
to come up with one on your own.
Harry, here is willing to share
some of his mock up scripts with you guys.
OK, I'll see you next week.
Hey, you OK?
Hey. Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you for the mockups,
by the way. I owe you one.
So how's the new place?
Not cheap.
Yeah, well, my landlord's a dick.
So, this asshole replaced Mrs.
Loretta and the one who is suffering from
him is, Emily.
So, Jonathan, here, he's
been reading your mock ups.
I think you have a fan.
Jonathan, meet Harry. Harry, Jonathan.
Hi, I am a writer myself.
I have a bookstore down in Magnolia.
I must say, I know that
these are just mock ups, but
I love it. Your characters have depth
lots of interesting conflict and backstory.
Love the dialogue.
You think so?
No yeah, honestly, not quite there
in terms of story, but
you have a really good sense of structure.
Good job.
Thanks.
I think so, too.
I write it for the actors here.
Yeah, I got that.
Why don't you come
by my bookstore sometime?
I bet there's a lot
that we can talk about.
Yeah, definitely.
Mm.
Sounds good.
Great.
Hey,
what's up?
Do you wanna get coffee sometime?
Are you...
Yes, I am asking you out on a date.
Harry, you're a great guy but...
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Emily, I just got a part
on Gray's Anatomy,
Gray's Anatomy, Gray's Anatomy.
It's amazing. Congratulations.
I know, how hard you've been working.
Well, I got to go. Call my mom.
I'm sorry. That's a clich.
Awkward, stupid and just
fucking embarrassing.
Similar to my misery back then.
Hey, it's Ted.
Do your thing after the tone.
The good, the bad, the ugly,
The Blue, The Gray, The Civil War.
You talking to me?
Yeah, you. You talking to me?
Who the fuck you think you're talking to?
Well, I don't see anyone here.
You must be talking to me.
Hail to the man whom doth live his
own life like a tumbling weed,
friction on the ground, and
yet it doesn't stand still.
Standstill.
'Ere fighting his
way to bring the change,
or be the change.
Harry...
Hey Ted, you remember me...
You gotta stop fucking calling me my man.
You told me to call you
when I'd be interested in some kind of a
you know...
I was being fucking polite, dude.
Don't you get it?
What's the matter with you, man?
But why would you lie then?
I don't understand why.
I mean, like...
okay, you want to know why?
It's because you suck.
Plain and simple.
Oh, I don't. I've been taking lessons.
I know. I've seen them.
And you still suck.
And it's not just that man.
It's just not fun to fucking be around.
You're a loser. You know what?
You're a fucking loser and you're
losing your chance to work with me.
I'm losing a chance?
Who even talks like that?!
You told me to tell you my schedule
and you could fix something up.
And you believe that
shit, you fucking moron.
Well, you're not being polite, are you?
Lenny, told me what you were saying about
me when you thought I couldn't hear you.
Honestly, you know what?
I just wanted to get some updates.
But you know what? You're a racist fuck.
There are millions of people out
there. And I will knock on every door.
And I think it's my duty to let you know
that you hear me, Ted, your piece of shit.
You're a fucking piece of shit.
Ted? Ted?
Welcome to my world.
Won't you come on in?
Hey, it's Ted. Do your thing after
the tone..
Hey, Ted
I'm sorry... I was stressed out, and I,
Step into my heart.
Leave your cares behind.
And I don't know what to do,
Sure my life wasn't as unstable as
it was three years ago.
But plans A to Z were all failing.
And when you're surviving
rather than living, there is always
this point where you wonder,
what am I gonna do?
What am I looking for?
I'll be waiting here.
With my arms on fur.
Waiting just for you.
Welcome to my world.
Chapter 2 Three Suspects
Harry!
So good to see you.
It's a really nice book-store you
got here.
Thank you.
Coffee or tea? Sam?
Sam? Could you...
Tea should be fine.
Could you get some tea?
So... see anything you like?
No, just browsing, of course, you know.
I suppose you
would love to have some of your work
on these shelves one day.
Not really. But hey, if it'll help
to get my name out there, then...
Yeah. Anything to get your name
on my great Walk of Fame?
Exactly.
These are some of those geniuses.
It's Dr. Matthews.
His first book, actually, it's
getting very good reviews,
Please, these so-called reviews suck.
I recognize the names.
I read this stuff all the time.
Even I could do better.
OK, well, if you're lucky,
maybe you'll get an opportunity to.
How much for this?
Consider it a gift.
Hey, Emily, you got a minute?
Harry, look I told you.
No, no, no, no, it's not about that.
I need you to do me a favor.
You owe me and remember.
Yeah. What's up?
I need you to go to the basement.
That's not creepy at all.
No, no, no. Remember my manuscript?
I need it to prove someone has
stole my idea.
Good thinking.
Whatever you have to do. Make it quick.
I'm trying. It's not my fault
he's so disorganized.
Harry?
Well?
I'm sorry, I've got nothing.
We have three potential
suspects, Dr. Matthews.
Second one is Jessie. Zelig's assistant.
And third one is Mr. Zelig himself.
One of them stole my book.
I just know it. 911.
What is your emergency?
I know what this looks
like. But I got proof.
The premise is the same except for
one key difference.
Get this: a book-publisher with a
time-machine travels to the future
to steal a bestselling book of that time
and comes back to present
publishes it under client's name.
I mean, come on, guys,
he is admitting it.
And is there any way
anybody could have known this story?
No.
You didn't like
tell it to somebody out
loud or something, did you?
Oh, shit.
Why didn't he just go to copyright
lawyer with this?
Yes, well, I did.
And what did they say?
They said I got no proof,
which is ridiculous,
because the dialog in the book is
literally the one I had in my manuscript,
which is the one you said was stolen.
Yes.
Without which you can't prove it.
Oh, fuck.
Well, I guess you got something
for your next book,
what we're going to do
is we're going to do a log entry.
Can't believe we're
missing doughnuts for this.
We're going to do a log entry like we've
done the other times that we've come.
And it's it's kind of like a report.
And our reports take a lot longer
and they're kept at the station.
The log entry will stay in the car with us
rather than in the station
where the detectives might find it
and actually do something with it.
And so if you ever need it,
just call the station.
As for one of us, and we'll make sure
you get a copy of that.
Yes, yes, yes that is helpful.
Fucking moron.
And that was that.
What you thought I was gonna track Zelig
or Jessie down?
I'm an actor, not Batman.
Get real.
Just remember one big hit and you're in.
Sounds interesting,
interesting, interesting
Mr. Chandler.
Just how much writing
experience do you have?
It's just not fun to
fucking be around. You're a loser.
You have a really good sense of structure.
This is a story about a mundane guy
simple man, just like you and me
now our guy wants to be
our guy is a loser.
A fuck-up. A nobody
But he really wants to be somebody,
no matter what he does,
no matter how good he gets, he is never
quite not what people are looking for.
Despite his talent. He's all
He's alone. Alone
That's when he finds something.
Something that allows him to
rewrite who he really is..
Something that shows
he might be good at something, after all.
A time machine.
Our guy uses
a time machine to travel back in time
and steals a book
that would have been a bestseller
and publishes in his own time.
In doing so, he is seen for
the wonder he is.
His worth is reinvented, and his
existence is finally... acknowledged.
And he was never alone again.
So you're halfway through the book?
Yes, I am.
Ok. I have a contact for you.
I'll tell them about you.
And you do understand that I'm not talking
about the sellouts quoted
on the back of these ones, right?
Of course not, sweetie.
You want to hear from the best,
but those sellouts are the best. Sure.
They phone in a reviewer, too, but they're
the ones you going to want to hear from.
Ok, fair enough.
I'll just email them and see.
Oh, no, you have to meet them in person.
You have to.
The last time I did,
they stole my idea, and I'm still going
through copywriting process.
The last time you didn't give crapola
about publishing your book
and you backed out,
the second it became actual work.
Don't self sabotage.
Meet them.
Ok, thanks.
You're welcome.
Hello.
Hello, Mr. Pritchett?
Yes, this is he.
This is Harry Chandra,
I'm calling you to ask.
Look buddy, whatever you're selling.
I'm not interested.
You're probably wondering
why he hung up on me?
Hell, he got confused for an Indian
Telemarketer. Fuck!
Hello.
This is Harry Chandra,
Jonathan gave me your reference.
Ah, yes.
Yeah. The actor. Yes.
So, how can I help?
Well, I'm sure that I've been told I was
wondering if I could get some feedback.
Maybe later in the week.
Yeah. Oh, I'm I'm not so sure about that.
I'm pretty swamped this week.
Next week is fine, too.
Wait, wait, wait.
I don't know anything.
I didn't even say anything yet.
Why do you look scared?
I read the book, man. Zelig and
his new client...
Dr. Matthews?
Yeah. They were up to stuff.
Bad stuff?
I don't know. I wasn't kept in the loop.
You must to trust me.
I don't know anything.
Now you, dear listeners, are
probably wondering why..
Why didn't I take her to the cops?
Trust me, guys, I just didn't
think about it at the time.
Someone was definitely
screwing up with my life.
But the number of suspects
remained three nonetheless.
Zelig, Matthews... And the Mysterious Man.
I never chased him
because I'm just a fox. Remember?
You probably remember Mr.
Pritchett, right?
The Reviewer I was talking to a while ago.
He and his wife are having a party. Why?
Who gives a shit?
The point is, when my second book
got stolen three years ago,
I impressed him with my story
analyzing skills,
and he hired me to work for him.
Now, I have a skill to critique
any damn book out there.
His words not mine.
Doesn't make it untrue, though.
To this day, I have reviewed over 138
novels, 23 audiobooks and,
13 professional screenplays,
as well as judging
everyone I come across.
Now, if you're a fox
and you're getting those grapes
from some place else
easily, you're going to get it right.
I did the same thing.
Well, it's all fake. Fake
people. Fake laughter.
Fake Boobs.
What about her necklace?
Well, that, my dear, remains to be seen.
And why is that?
Well the entire party is very clich.
All that's missing is a
power-cut, like in the films.
If that happens...
then it's real.
Exactly.
The more the drama surrounds it,
the more clear it becomes
that they're desperate to show
it's real when it's not.
Interesting. Very interesting
Very
Ahhh!
What? My necklace is gone!
Your necklace is gone.
Yeah. What the hell happened to it?
What do you think?
I took it from you. What?
Why don't you look between your?
Are you from the future?
I always thought
this was my 15 minutes of fame.
All right, I'll get him.
Mr. Pritchett would like to see you
in his office.
Gotcha.
And about last night,
yeah, about last night.
You see sometimes
people have sex at parties.
You know, it happens.
Alcohol's involved, fluids are swapped
and it happens. Just come on.
Follow me on delay. Come on. Come on,
follow me. He wants to see you.
You know the way he is.
Jerry, I'm telling
you, it's a necessary evil.
Dig deeper. Only
you can handle this investigation.
OK, look here, you little shit.
I trusted you and your partner, Steve.
No, I know his name's not actually Steve.
His name is... Phil.
Phil? Phil.. Yes.
And I know everything
that's going on over there.
Bottom line is, it's your case. Sure.
Just give me a fucking report. All right.
Wonderful.
See, you guys have fun.
So, Harry, what can I do you for?
You called me in here.
I know it was a test.
I wanted to see if you were a man enough
to admit your own ignorance.
I'm sorry to hear about
Mrs. Pritchett, last night.
How's she holding up?
Oh, we're getting a divorce.
I'm sorry to hear about that.
Tell me about it.
My lawyer's basically stealing from me.
So, Harry, you're
doing pretty well here. Yeah.
You got fans, readers
and the critiques you write
will make or break the book's future.
You're killing it, right? Right.
Wrong.
I'm not sure you're aware that literally.
Everyone is asking you to do one thing.
Write a novel, your fans want you to do it
so you can show them who's boss
your haters want you to do,
so they could see you fail and show
you're a hypocrite.
Which one are you?
I'm the one who's newspapers
going to publish the damn thing.
But you got to write something.
The people have spoken.
Give them what they want.
What people?
I don't hear any people here. No,
but you're hearing me.
I speak for the people.
And once your book is published,
you, too, will have the same power here.
Honey. No, this is the office.
You can't call me here.
You know that. We decided
on that last night.
But you can't back off from that now.
It's over, Martha.
OK, sweetie, I can't be nice to two people
at the same time.
I'll call you later.
Where were we? With all due respect,
Mr. Pritchett, I'm
on a roll right now and this book thing
is gonna to break it.
See, kid?
I'm trying to pull you up
to a whole new level of success,
but you have to go limp for me
so I can pull you all the way up.
Huh?
It's this. Oh, you're fired.
This is unfair. You cannot do that.
I won't write it.
I won't write it.
I won't write it. I can't write it.
I won't write it. No, I won't write.
So I'm writing it.
Ok.
I'm telling you, I'm
tired of being pushed around all the time.
You gotta make a move, man! Stand
up for yourself.
No, I'm just gonna get this over with,
you know, phone it in.
God forbid you make an effort.
So Em, what's this big news
you wanted to tell us?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
All right, here it goes.
We're all ears.
Ok, here it goes.
I just signed my first feature film
with a studio. Oh, my god.
Directed by Sofia Coppola. Hmm.
First half is filming in New England.
And then we're moving to New York.
So I'm going to get to see my parents.
That's great. Amazing.
That's amazing. So
happy for you.
To, Emily.
Oh!
Oh, it feels like
you moved in here yesterday
and you have been by my side
through thick and thin
ever since we started our journey together.
Actually, you started much later
than me, didn't you?
Harry, whatever the bottom line
is, I'm happy for you
and I wish you all the best on this movie.
That's not really the vibes
I'm getting here.
Well, you know, I think I'm
understandably conflicted.
Conflicted? About me succeeding.
Guys, chill.
I'm chill, I'm chill! It's just, things
were finally taking shape.
Now it's all falling apart.
Harry, you're finally where you wanted to
be, aren't you? Oh, yeah,
reviewing fucking books
is what I wanted to do all along.
Well, if you had stuck with voice acting
instead of leaving halfway,
you probably would have made it by now.
I mean, you're supposed to fix yourself
a goal and then work towards it.
Where'd you get that,
The Secret? Tell me this.
Oh Guru: have you ever lost a gig
because of your accent?
Have you ever lost a gig because
you didn't suck the producer's dick?
Oh, of course you're going to play
that card.
That card? You know what,
Harry? Fuck you.
I have been working
my ass off for six years.
And when I finally get my foot
in the door, you're being an asshole.
What do you want to say?
Congratulations, Emily.
I'm happy for you.
I am happy for you.
Guys tell her. I'm happy for you.
Get the fuck out.
This was supposed to be my night,
and you're bringing
your own personal shit into it.
Get the fuck out.
Wait, Emily.
It's okay Jonathan.
It's just means you, me and Sam
will be spending more time together.
See you at the bookstore tomorrow.
Harry.
We're moving out too.
Guys, I'm sorry.
I was'nt gonna bring it up this way.
But, um, some things have changed.
For, for me, for us and. And,
and so what that means is that uh,
What?
Well, we've we've, we've Uh...
We're moving to Florida.
I sold the bookstore.
You're kidding me, right?
Chapter 3
Other Side Of the Fence.
My name is Edson Alves Jr.
I'm the writer of the book
series Criminals.
Hi, my name is Colette
Freedman and I wrote Sister Cities.
Hi, my name is Ines des Santos, and
I'm the writer of Randy.
It's about six teenagers
that they kill a girl
and then they must hide it for the whole
story of the eight novels.
A story about four strange sisters who
reunite for their mom's alleged suicide.
Randy is a comic book series about Randy,
who is the guy that goes from state
to state, having sex
with a bunch of girls.
In my long history as a novelist,
the greatest critic
I have ever experienced
is my dear friend Harry Chandra.
He was just like, ha, ha, ha. Harry,
inspired me to write the film. And
it's been acquired by
Netflix starring
Jacki Weaver and Alfred Molina
and Jess Blakeslee, Michelle Trachtenberg,
Dwayne Bellisario, you name it.
They're in it. And
I give all of my credit to Harry.
He is he is just a genius.
He is not a fucking genius,
ok? He's not.
This boy, this man child
has an insight that it's
like he pulls it out of my soul.
He says, oh, it's good. Oh, it's bad.
And he ruined somebody's
career just like that.
He knows he knows what he's writing about.
He knows how to phrase everything.
We take time.
We take effort writing this shit.
And then he just like does two fucking
essay paragraphs and we're done.
He's like the Blake Snyder
for screenwriters.
He has an insight that most 80 year
old women don't have.
Harry, how do you
even pronounce that name?
Hari? Uh?
He's a great act... He's a great writer.
I love you Harry.
As Blake Snyder was pushed.
I have to challenge you now, Harry.
Write. Write something yourself, Harry.
Stop critiquing other people
and have the balls to do it yourself.
You're that good.
Because one thing is criticizing
and the other thing is fucking writing it.
A book of his own.
You know, I really want to see
like how good he is as a writer.
I just want to read it.
I just want to have fun with it.
And I'm very excited
to hear more about it.
So, yeah, Harry,
you go ahead and fucking write that book
because I want to see you suck.
Thank you, Colette Freedman, sister
cities, it's available on Amazon.
That's that's that's the thing,
Harry, you, me, you, me, worldstar,
worldstar, bring it in, Harry,
is that all you got, Harry?
Is that all you got, Harry?
I love Harry like a son.
And you know, the one thing I always give
them crap for, he's too generous.
He insisted that
I let him take on this challenge.
And he's writing this
for all of you, his fans.
So all of you can improve
his writers alongside him.
I, for one, am excited, right, Amy?
It's Ariel.
Ariel, yes.
Now you're finally writing a book.
What is it going to be about? Nobody knows.
Well, there is nothing much
I can tell you at this moment.
Actually, there is this one thing
I've had this project since 2007,
but I never actually followed through
with actually writing it
, and I'm going to stick to it
and give you all something great.
And Mr. Pritchett, the head editor of the
to look at times
it's general knowledge that he took me
under his wing three years ago.
Is he coaching you with writing this?
Traveled back to the future.
Publishing companies.
Nobody seemed to like the book.
These futuristic
themes are too advanced for nowadays.
You might get the fame you desire
in a century or two.
Shelved.
But you failed, right?
You're not a hero anymore.
You're more than that.
I'm a human.
Hey, Harry, look who just,
decided to join us.
All right, everyone, that's your cue.
Writing for somebody else is a first.
I only voted for myself until now.
Never expected to have an audience.
Look, take your time. All right.
Take a couple of weeks off.
Every writer needs
inspiration and motivation.
Go on a vacation.
Hey, wanna go to Hawaii?
Anyway? Get it done and get it done quick.
You told me to take my time.
Take your time and get it done quickly.
Harry, don't be such a pain in the ass
to get my point.
Here is the thing.
Back then, I was not mature enough
to get the feedback
when it was giving it to me.
I am now. The basis of
the book is all up here.
The challenge is to allow my characters
to grow as much as I have,
- um,
- I'm sure it's gonna be great.
Hey, this is our guy?
Now, this is our guy.
It's our fucking guy.
What's up tough guy?
How you doing huh?
Where you going?
Ah!
Fucking look at me,
fucking look at me.
Have a nice fucking day.
Hey...
Harry?
Harry, what are you doing, Harry?
You can't go up there, Harry.
You know the way he is. He's in a meeting.
You can't go up there.
Of course, we'll
put our best man on the job.
Oh, here he is right now.
I'm on a call kid.
See you in five.
Get out.
Yes. Don't worry.
We've got it covered.
Some books to review.
This is a new priority,
not a novel.
Wait, what?
Pritchett words, not mine.
And this, my friends,
is where I decided to call it quits.
Guess who wrote one of these
new books I was assigned,
The Mysterious Man.
The guy who stole from me
and made millions of off my work.
And left me with something.
So that's why you're not hearing
from me anymore.
I try to reach those grapes,
but they are just too high.
So I said, fuck it once again and for all.
I'm sorry if I left
you all without notice.
If it helps know that I'm at peace now.
I'm living a life where I'm finally myself
and no amount of failed casting calls,
plagiarized novels.
Or lost friends is gonna change that.
That's the end of my big rant.
This is Harry Chandra signing out.
No, no, no, not Harold.
I'm looking for Harry.
The author of this audio book.
Oh, I know now I know you can't.
Oh, I know you can't tell me
his whereabouts for privacy purposes.
I was just wondering where
I might get a message to him.
Oh, that would work.
My turn to rant now, Harry.
Harry sends these from time to time.
Excuse me. Hey, what's up?
Yeah, sounds great.
Send me the script,
I'll give it a read.
Hope it helps.
Doctor Matthews.
Howdy.
I don't mean to bother you,
but I saw your name and check in
and I'm a huge fan.
I even got all your books.
Do you mind signing them for me?
Well, I'll sign these four.
I'm not signing that.
How about I buy it from you?
Well, all right.
You got a pen, son?
So how long you staying here?
Just passing through.
Howdy. What are you drinking?
I was hoping for an autograph.
No, no, no. Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, I come in peace?
And you'll leave in pieces.
Harry, calm down, man.
I swear I wasn't boasting I was...
I'm just trying to make a cool entrance.
I didn't write it.
Yeah, I didn't write it.
I know it. You know it.
Let's just talk, OK?
I'm just here to talk.
I never knew it was yours
until I listened to your audio book.
Zelig just asked for permission and
slapped my name on the cover.
Well it must have been somebody's
book, you didn't think to ask?
He told me he paid some
ghostwriter to do it.
That stuff happens all the time.
Convenient.
Look, I did play a part in
everything that happened to you,
I admit that.
Some kid wanted me to sign this
and I just couldn't do it.
And it's not the first time it happened.
I'm still waiting on that public
I never wrote it statement.
I'm not going to do that. OK.
After With Love, From Future I
penned four more novels.
If I reveal it I didn't write the book that
made me,
I'll discredit the ones I wrote.
Fuck you.
Oh, come on, man.
I tracked you down.
I came all the way out here to apologize.
Don't give me a hard time,
we both know I'm not the guy
you're really mad at, here.
Fair enough.
You know what?
I accept your apology.
You mind if I ask you something?
Why didn't you take Jessie to the police?
She probably would have confessed
right then and there.
I know you said that you forgot,
but I don't think you did.
Look, I accepted your apology.
We don't need to make conversation.
I'm off.
No, no, I'm serious.
Well, this stays in the room.
I didn't write the original manuscript.
I found it in my mail one day.
It's also why I didn't take Zelig's
feedback when he offered it me.
I was afraid I'd ruin it
if I made any changes.
I see...
You wanna know what's crazy?
I re-wrote it in it's
entirety for Pritchett.
Yeah, I heard the audiobook.
No, no, no.
I wasn't writing it from my memory.
I just showed what came to my mind
and what came to my mind
was exactly what I had
in the manuscript to begin with.
That's crazy, right?
Ah?
What?
I met Zelig once.
And, then
he was gone.
Did you ever wonder who sent you
the manuscript in the first place?
Yeah, sure, but...
What if nobody ever stole from you?
What if it was you who was, let's say,
renting the idea in the first place?
I still don't get it.
His company name, VIATOR.
It means 'The Traveler' in latin.
As in the main character
in all your books, The Time Traveler.
Zelig the Time-Traveler?
Zelig the Time-Traveler.
Coursing through history.
Witnessing it participating
whenever he feels like it.
Which is why he focuses on the smaller
things, like, like stealing books
to entertain himself.
Entertainment.
And he gets bored, you know, jumps
from job to job era to era.
So in this era, he tries a lot of mundane
jobs and publishers, just one of them.
And he's good at it, too.
But then somebody comes along
and tells them a story,
a story about a character
who eerily sounds a lot like him.
This isn't a coincidence.
This is a message from his future self
who somehow got his hands on your
version of An Identical Visitor..
And that message says.
Do exactly what this idiot's
telling you to do,
and your story will become immortal.
But you didn't wanna play game.
So, huh? Well, travel to the right moment
in time when he could have free access to.
Wealth wasn't enough.
He wanted fame, and you told an outline
of your story to Pritchett.
And by this time,
Zelig's a known publisher... and
has regular chats with Pritchett,
who likes the sound of his own voicee
so much that he probably
let your story slip at some point.
So that's what he did.
He traveled to the past.
He stole a bestseller
and published it under his name.
Leaving you with nothing.
Oh. Holy shit.
Yeah.
Of course, there
is another theory.
What's that?
There is a God and he loves watching
you lose your shit.
Oh, strangely enough,
I prefer the first one.
It's the one that makes the most sense.
Despite it involving time-travel?
It's detailed. Surprisingly detailed.
Well, you must have listened
to my audio book many times over.
Well, when the narration is captivating,
the story becomes a more vivid,
immersive experience.
Can you rephrase that?
You're a great voice actor, Harry.
I felt like I was right there with you
when I was listening to it.
So are you really out of the
writing business? Because if so
that's too bad, I got friends
who would really be interested.
It's fine. Just remember,
it only takes one big hit
to break into the industry.
All it takes is one big hit.
An opportunity, any opportunity.
And you get the 15 minutes of fame
every artist craves.
I spent the last eight years ranting
about everything that happened to me.
If only I could just go back
and relive those moments again.
One big hit.
My previous attempts at getting
it never ended well.
But what do you guys think?
The third time's the charm.
sees some delicious looking grapes.
He tries to reach
and get a bite, but fails.
So he tries again and again and again
Until he finally says Fuck it and
decides to leave them..
They were probably sour anyway, right?
And that's me. Now, you're
probably wondering, oh, a brown guy.
He talks funny, dressed up well,
so probably works for an IT company,
Wrong.
Doctor Matthews,
I got updates for tomorrow's interview.
You'll be promoting the book at...
Cancel the event.
Come again.
You ever look at your life
through somebody else's eyes?
Would you be able to forgive what you saw?
I, Oh, I'm just going to consider
the event canceled.
Well, hang in there.
I'm gonna to tell you everything
that happened to me.
Definitely gonna to complain a lot
throughout this story. So forgive me.
My dear listeners,
after all the attempts of people
screwing me over in Los Angeles,
this is the moment that eventually
motivated me to leave the town.
Hell,
I hate this part of the story, but I'm
going to start from this point anyway,
because I think you'll enjoy it.
Hey, this is our guy?
Now this is our guy.
It's our fucking guy.
What's up? Tough guy.
How are you doing, huh?
Where you going?
Ahh!
Fucking look at me.
And that right there is the most action
you'll see in this whole story, my friend.
We are gonna see what happens
next a bit later, if you don't mind.
First off, let's introduce
the main character, me.
Hi, my name is Harry.
And this is a rant
about how some random guy in la la land
tried to reach those tasty grapes
just like the rest of the foxes..
Sometimes it's heaven,
sometimes it's hell,
sometimes I don't even know.
Sometimes I take it as far as I can.
Sometimes I don't even go.
My front tracks're headed
for a cold water well. My back
tracks're covered with snow.
Sometimes it's heaven,
sometimes it's hell.
Sometimes I don't even know.
Shit, that's me eight years ago.
What the fuck am I doing?
Damn, that's where
I was most confident about myself.
And it all went downhill from here.
Sorry, I'm a little late guys.
Are you sure about this guy, Kumail?
Well, nobody else showed up.
What the f... Nobody?
I got to sit to this tragedy because of a
fucking no show?
He's not... That bad
Course you're gonna to say that.
What's that supposed to mean?
You know what I mean?
All you guys stick together.
I'm not even Indian, you racist fuck.
Let's start.
Let's see. Let's see the third one.
Chapter 1 Plan B
Harry Short for Harold, right?
Actually, it's just how Harry.
Harold...
I think you should take acting lessons,
but, uh, I'd really like to focus on voice
acting, to be honest.
I know, but,
you've got the voice
and you've got the passion.
But when you when you
get the tone and the talent,
it's gonna be perfect.
There I was a headless
chicken listening carefully.
The crazy thing is
that I'd get bits of wisdom
like this all the time
because I failed all the time.
It always starts the same way.
You're good, but.
And hey, back then,
I welcomed this advice like a kiss ass.
Not sure if I can offer
any lessons right now.
Oh, you need a plan B..
Everyone in L.A. has one.
That's how it works.
I do gardening on the side.
Trust me. Anyone trying
to make it in Hollywood does.
Right.
No, no you can't
eat that in here.
Studio.
But he was...
He is the producer.
,
In the hallway okay?
Let's take a momentary break
from my part of the act.
Little did I know that
another of the major players of this story
was in a similar situation as me.
Tommy, you got a minute?
I, uh, I am starting a little something.
Here, and I was wondering
if you could spread these around for me.
Yeah. Yeah, no problem.
Thanks.
The new batch of paperback
is coming in today.
Do you have the checklist ready?
Great.
What's the point of coming in 10 minutes
early every day?
If you keep on forgetting
the important stuff.
Wake the fuck up, Will ya?
I need it on my desk in ten.
Actually, you know what?
Forget about it.
I'll just give it to Jessie.
Well, that was unnecessarily harsh,
Oh, no, no she's just stressed! And uh,
and and she's right, you know,
the paperwork is more your area.
Still.
It's fine. It'll be fine.
Um, doesn't matter.
But you better get cracking.
Or, you're gonna get an earful.
Do you mind if I take one?
Oh, not at all, please do. That's what
they're there for.
It's interesting.
Oh, it is. I promise.
Here you go. Thank you.
You look very disappointed.
Today didn't go well.
Why?
They don't seem to like me.
Did you try showing more cleavage?
I don't think I'll be able to pay
this month's rent.
Hmm, just last time.
Well you eventually came
through the following month,
so I'm sure this time will be the same.
It's fine. Just remember,
It only takes one big hit to
break into the industry.
Oh, you got mail, by the way?
Oh, yeah, I saw it when I came in.
And also, dear, I'm still trying to sublet
the garden apartment. So,
yeah, sure. I'll keep my eyes open.
All right. Good man.
Well, I'm off to bed.
Oh, I'm going to the library tomorrow
if you want to come.
I'm not sure if I have time to visit
the library, but I can drive you there.
Well, that will be a nice change of pace.
Good night, dear. Good night.
And remember one big hit and you're in
One Big Hit.
That night, with my manuscript in-hand,
these words echoed in the head.
Always have a Plan B.
All it takes is one big hit
An opportunity, any opportunity.
And you get the 15 minutes of fame
any artist craves.
And maybe this could be my plan B.
Writing novels.
Well, we have to let you go.
Oh, yeah, I figured.
I'm sorry, but...
No, no, no,
no, you don't have to be sorry.
Oh, no, no.
I mean, it's going to be awkward.
Umm,
Would you still have David Barnum's number?
Oh.
Did you see how he spoke to me? Well,
I would for sure kick his ass
if he meets me now.
But back then, I was too humble to do it.
Because maybe somewhere
deep down, I knew, I suck.
I'm sorry, we don't have the book
you were looking for.
But this one is much better.
Sure about that?
Trust me, you'll love it.
Just forget about that book.
Okay.
Charming
Oh! Ssshhhhi...
Umm,
Any chance we can, like,
forget that happened?
A report is the last thing I need
and my mom she...
No, no, no, hey, HEY. Calm down.
You're not in any trouble.
Really?
That was a pretty nifty trick
you did with the book there.
That guy didn't really want to buy
it, did he?
Nope.
I had a recently
set up a publishing company, and
I'm looking for a very
resourceful assistant.
What do you think?
You would have to deal with the
clientele and general paperwork.
I'm, uh, I'm good at one of those
two things.,
You'll learn the other.
I dunno... what's the pay?
A thousand dollars a week.
Done.
When do I start?
Today.
Now.
Where are you going?
To get myself fired.
Oh.
Thank you. Yes. No problem.
How's the job hunt coming?
Um. actually..
Oh, what have you got here?
An identical visitor.
Just something on the side.
If the whole voice thing doesn't work out.
Oh, actually, I just
got this at the library.
It's a new publishing company.
I bet they're looking
for some new content.
Knock on that door.
See what happens.
So when you're meeting with a publisher.
Same thing happens as it does
anywhere else in corporate America.
Step one, invite them to a nice place.
Step two, send in a random person
with a mandatory handshake
who introduces herself
as an "executive" assistant.
Well, the fiction novel
is actually pretty competitive.
Only 20 percent of the books.
OK, let me stop you right
there. Step three.
I'd like to see the main guy here.
Sir,
you're obviously new at this
and I on schedule here, so...
Hey, Lenny.
Yeah.
Zelig?
A new gig?
You ever get one of those days
where your confidence
boost affects everything around you?
I was handed a last minute
voicer gig by Lenny.
This guy.
Said I was perfect for the part.
And suddenly Jessie here was scared
she might just lose her very first client.
Yeah, he wants to see you.
Yeah, I'll get there
as soon as I'm done with this.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be there.
He'll be here any moment.
Cool.
I just moved here like a year ago,
and I've been doing voice acting
since then and few things on the side.
This is just uh...
another thing on the side?
Exactly.
Why don't you tell me about the plot?
Glad you asked this, this story
about a mundane guy,
a simple man, just like you and me.
Now our guy wants to be
famous at all costs.
So, he comes across a time machine.
At first, he doesn't know
what to do with it.
If he does something too big,
it could rewrite the history.
So he tries to do something smaller.
He travels to the future
to steal a bestselling book of that time
and comes back to present and publishes it
with his name, making millions
and being acclaimed as a visionary.
Hmm.
So, what's next?
Oh, well, like film producers, publishers
mostly work for the audience.
This case, the readers
and we have demographics
of what readers think of the content
that they are reading.
And we will be working with you on that.
What she means is that we may have to make
some necessary changes
in order to reach your target audience.
Oh, it could be a small thing
like changing the cover,
some character names, adding diversity.
Yeah, exactly.
Just like in movie theaters.
Uhh, people buy tickets to
forget their day to day life.
I tell you what I do.
Instead of this mundane guy,
come up with a character
who's larger than life,
make him a time traveler
to be to begin with.
A man who travels through the universe's
various ages. Yeah.
A witness to history, if you will.
And that part about entertainment?
Oh, oh, make that his tragic flaw.
Instead of not using his time machine
because he doesn't know what could happen,
he knows exactly what the consequences
of his actions are.
Which is why he focuses on the smaller
things, like like stealing books
to entertain himself.
Because he knows that
when he stops being entertained,
it might tempt him to use this machine
for far more sinister purposes.
That's specific.
Ok, so you want me to make it
about someone else then?
Mr. Chandra, just how much
writing experience do you have?
This is my first.
It's all right.
We can publish you as a debut writer
something that is good marketing wise.
Ok. Let me be a little honest here.
I don't want to make any changes.
I don't feel like making any changes.
So either you can publish it or simply
forget about it.
Well, let's not...
As I said, I'm on schedule.
It's ok. It's ok.
Let me know if anything changes.
Charming
Hey, Lenny. 15 minutes, my ETA.
See you buddy.
I didn't think you'd still up.
I'm not usually. It's a urgent
request from a client.
They're overseas.
Ok, so do you want me to do
an American accent? or...
you're perfect.
Sure? I can.
Moroccan real estate's a distant dream.
Now a warm home closer to your heart.
The smallest of wins in a journey
means a lot to us, ordinary foxes.
Of course, there will be bumps on the road
if plan B fails? Jump back to plan A
and figure out what went wrong.
You will find that is always
a room for the new beginning.
I'm from New York.
Oh, the Big Apple.
What brings you to La La Land?
I came here to pursue acting.
You're an actress?
Yep.
The only one in L.A..
You know what they say?
There're as many people coming
to Hollywood as they're leaving it.
A little distraction
and you're ready to change your Plan B.
You think you could give me some acting
lessons?
Yeah. Sure.
This would be a nice place
to end the story, right?
Wrong.
Two years later, the only person
who really cared about me
was taken away.
A stroke took us all by surprise.
Of course, I moved to a new place,
start a new life again.
Just remember one big hit
and you are in.
But she never left me.
Not really.
One big hit...
Hey, it's Ted. Do your thing after
the tone.
Hey, Ted, it's um, it's Harry.
I'm trying to get back out there,
started acting, too now.
Hit me up if you're
looking for any actors.
I'm here to serve you.
I don't know what I want.
Or at least I think I do.
All right, I don't.
The truth is, I know I have potential.
I just don't know what to do with it.
In freshman year,
they would ask us what we wanted to be
when you grew up.
And every day kids would say things like,
I'm going to be a doctor,
an accountant, a teacher,
a lawyer, president.
And then my turn would come.
And I couldn't answer.
Because my answer was beaten out of me.
Every day.
Scene.
All right, so now that we're ready
to focus on some specifics,
let's create a character
that you see yourself playing.
And if you're struggling
to come up with one on your own.
Harry, here is willing to share
some of his mock up scripts with you guys.
OK, I'll see you next week.
Hey, you OK?
Hey. Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you for the mockups,
by the way. I owe you one.
So how's the new place?
Not cheap.
Yeah, well, my landlord's a dick.
So, this asshole replaced Mrs.
Loretta and the one who is suffering from
him is, Emily.
So, Jonathan, here, he's
been reading your mock ups.
I think you have a fan.
Jonathan, meet Harry. Harry, Jonathan.
Hi, I am a writer myself.
I have a bookstore down in Magnolia.
I must say, I know that
these are just mock ups, but
I love it. Your characters have depth
lots of interesting conflict and backstory.
Love the dialogue.
You think so?
No yeah, honestly, not quite there
in terms of story, but
you have a really good sense of structure.
Good job.
Thanks.
I think so, too.
I write it for the actors here.
Yeah, I got that.
Why don't you come
by my bookstore sometime?
I bet there's a lot
that we can talk about.
Yeah, definitely.
Mm.
Sounds good.
Great.
Hey,
what's up?
Do you wanna get coffee sometime?
Are you...
Yes, I am asking you out on a date.
Harry, you're a great guy but...
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Emily, I just got a part
on Gray's Anatomy,
Gray's Anatomy, Gray's Anatomy.
It's amazing. Congratulations.
I know, how hard you've been working.
Well, I got to go. Call my mom.
I'm sorry. That's a clich.
Awkward, stupid and just
fucking embarrassing.
Similar to my misery back then.
Hey, it's Ted.
Do your thing after the tone.
The good, the bad, the ugly,
The Blue, The Gray, The Civil War.
You talking to me?
Yeah, you. You talking to me?
Who the fuck you think you're talking to?
Well, I don't see anyone here.
You must be talking to me.
Hail to the man whom doth live his
own life like a tumbling weed,
friction on the ground, and
yet it doesn't stand still.
Standstill.
'Ere fighting his
way to bring the change,
or be the change.
Harry...
Hey Ted, you remember me...
You gotta stop fucking calling me my man.
You told me to call you
when I'd be interested in some kind of a
you know...
I was being fucking polite, dude.
Don't you get it?
What's the matter with you, man?
But why would you lie then?
I don't understand why.
I mean, like...
okay, you want to know why?
It's because you suck.
Plain and simple.
Oh, I don't. I've been taking lessons.
I know. I've seen them.
And you still suck.
And it's not just that man.
It's just not fun to fucking be around.
You're a loser. You know what?
You're a fucking loser and you're
losing your chance to work with me.
I'm losing a chance?
Who even talks like that?!
You told me to tell you my schedule
and you could fix something up.
And you believe that
shit, you fucking moron.
Well, you're not being polite, are you?
Lenny, told me what you were saying about
me when you thought I couldn't hear you.
Honestly, you know what?
I just wanted to get some updates.
But you know what? You're a racist fuck.
There are millions of people out
there. And I will knock on every door.
And I think it's my duty to let you know
that you hear me, Ted, your piece of shit.
You're a fucking piece of shit.
Ted? Ted?
Welcome to my world.
Won't you come on in?
Hey, it's Ted. Do your thing after
the tone..
Hey, Ted
I'm sorry... I was stressed out, and I,
Step into my heart.
Leave your cares behind.
And I don't know what to do,
Sure my life wasn't as unstable as
it was three years ago.
But plans A to Z were all failing.
And when you're surviving
rather than living, there is always
this point where you wonder,
what am I gonna do?
What am I looking for?
I'll be waiting here.
With my arms on fur.
Waiting just for you.
Welcome to my world.
Chapter 2 Three Suspects
Harry!
So good to see you.
It's a really nice book-store you
got here.
Thank you.
Coffee or tea? Sam?
Sam? Could you...
Tea should be fine.
Could you get some tea?
So... see anything you like?
No, just browsing, of course, you know.
I suppose you
would love to have some of your work
on these shelves one day.
Not really. But hey, if it'll help
to get my name out there, then...
Yeah. Anything to get your name
on my great Walk of Fame?
Exactly.
These are some of those geniuses.
It's Dr. Matthews.
His first book, actually, it's
getting very good reviews,
Please, these so-called reviews suck.
I recognize the names.
I read this stuff all the time.
Even I could do better.
OK, well, if you're lucky,
maybe you'll get an opportunity to.
How much for this?
Consider it a gift.
Hey, Emily, you got a minute?
Harry, look I told you.
No, no, no, no, it's not about that.
I need you to do me a favor.
You owe me and remember.
Yeah. What's up?
I need you to go to the basement.
That's not creepy at all.
No, no, no. Remember my manuscript?
I need it to prove someone has
stole my idea.
Good thinking.
Whatever you have to do. Make it quick.
I'm trying. It's not my fault
he's so disorganized.
Harry?
Well?
I'm sorry, I've got nothing.
We have three potential
suspects, Dr. Matthews.
Second one is Jessie. Zelig's assistant.
And third one is Mr. Zelig himself.
One of them stole my book.
I just know it. 911.
What is your emergency?
I know what this looks
like. But I got proof.
The premise is the same except for
one key difference.
Get this: a book-publisher with a
time-machine travels to the future
to steal a bestselling book of that time
and comes back to present
publishes it under client's name.
I mean, come on, guys,
he is admitting it.
And is there any way
anybody could have known this story?
No.
You didn't like
tell it to somebody out
loud or something, did you?
Oh, shit.
Why didn't he just go to copyright
lawyer with this?
Yes, well, I did.
And what did they say?
They said I got no proof,
which is ridiculous,
because the dialog in the book is
literally the one I had in my manuscript,
which is the one you said was stolen.
Yes.
Without which you can't prove it.
Oh, fuck.
Well, I guess you got something
for your next book,
what we're going to do
is we're going to do a log entry.
Can't believe we're
missing doughnuts for this.
We're going to do a log entry like we've
done the other times that we've come.
And it's it's kind of like a report.
And our reports take a lot longer
and they're kept at the station.
The log entry will stay in the car with us
rather than in the station
where the detectives might find it
and actually do something with it.
And so if you ever need it,
just call the station.
As for one of us, and we'll make sure
you get a copy of that.
Yes, yes, yes that is helpful.
Fucking moron.
And that was that.
What you thought I was gonna track Zelig
or Jessie down?
I'm an actor, not Batman.
Get real.
Just remember one big hit and you're in.
Sounds interesting,
interesting, interesting
Mr. Chandler.
Just how much writing
experience do you have?
It's just not fun to
fucking be around. You're a loser.
You have a really good sense of structure.
This is a story about a mundane guy
simple man, just like you and me
now our guy wants to be
our guy is a loser.
A fuck-up. A nobody
But he really wants to be somebody,
no matter what he does,
no matter how good he gets, he is never
quite not what people are looking for.
Despite his talent. He's all
He's alone. Alone
That's when he finds something.
Something that allows him to
rewrite who he really is..
Something that shows
he might be good at something, after all.
A time machine.
Our guy uses
a time machine to travel back in time
and steals a book
that would have been a bestseller
and publishes in his own time.
In doing so, he is seen for
the wonder he is.
His worth is reinvented, and his
existence is finally... acknowledged.
And he was never alone again.
So you're halfway through the book?
Yes, I am.
Ok. I have a contact for you.
I'll tell them about you.
And you do understand that I'm not talking
about the sellouts quoted
on the back of these ones, right?
Of course not, sweetie.
You want to hear from the best,
but those sellouts are the best. Sure.
They phone in a reviewer, too, but they're
the ones you going to want to hear from.
Ok, fair enough.
I'll just email them and see.
Oh, no, you have to meet them in person.
You have to.
The last time I did,
they stole my idea, and I'm still going
through copywriting process.
The last time you didn't give crapola
about publishing your book
and you backed out,
the second it became actual work.
Don't self sabotage.
Meet them.
Ok, thanks.
You're welcome.
Hello.
Hello, Mr. Pritchett?
Yes, this is he.
This is Harry Chandra,
I'm calling you to ask.
Look buddy, whatever you're selling.
I'm not interested.
You're probably wondering
why he hung up on me?
Hell, he got confused for an Indian
Telemarketer. Fuck!
Hello.
This is Harry Chandra,
Jonathan gave me your reference.
Ah, yes.
Yeah. The actor. Yes.
So, how can I help?
Well, I'm sure that I've been told I was
wondering if I could get some feedback.
Maybe later in the week.
Yeah. Oh, I'm I'm not so sure about that.
I'm pretty swamped this week.
Next week is fine, too.
Wait, wait, wait.
I don't know anything.
I didn't even say anything yet.
Why do you look scared?
I read the book, man. Zelig and
his new client...
Dr. Matthews?
Yeah. They were up to stuff.
Bad stuff?
I don't know. I wasn't kept in the loop.
You must to trust me.
I don't know anything.
Now you, dear listeners, are
probably wondering why..
Why didn't I take her to the cops?
Trust me, guys, I just didn't
think about it at the time.
Someone was definitely
screwing up with my life.
But the number of suspects
remained three nonetheless.
Zelig, Matthews... And the Mysterious Man.
I never chased him
because I'm just a fox. Remember?
You probably remember Mr.
Pritchett, right?
The Reviewer I was talking to a while ago.
He and his wife are having a party. Why?
Who gives a shit?
The point is, when my second book
got stolen three years ago,
I impressed him with my story
analyzing skills,
and he hired me to work for him.
Now, I have a skill to critique
any damn book out there.
His words not mine.
Doesn't make it untrue, though.
To this day, I have reviewed over 138
novels, 23 audiobooks and,
13 professional screenplays,
as well as judging
everyone I come across.
Now, if you're a fox
and you're getting those grapes
from some place else
easily, you're going to get it right.
I did the same thing.
Well, it's all fake. Fake
people. Fake laughter.
Fake Boobs.
What about her necklace?
Well, that, my dear, remains to be seen.
And why is that?
Well the entire party is very clich.
All that's missing is a
power-cut, like in the films.
If that happens...
then it's real.
Exactly.
The more the drama surrounds it,
the more clear it becomes
that they're desperate to show
it's real when it's not.
Interesting. Very interesting
Very
Ahhh!
What? My necklace is gone!
Your necklace is gone.
Yeah. What the hell happened to it?
What do you think?
I took it from you. What?
Why don't you look between your?
Are you from the future?
I always thought
this was my 15 minutes of fame.
All right, I'll get him.
Mr. Pritchett would like to see you
in his office.
Gotcha.
And about last night,
yeah, about last night.
You see sometimes
people have sex at parties.
You know, it happens.
Alcohol's involved, fluids are swapped
and it happens. Just come on.
Follow me on delay. Come on. Come on,
follow me. He wants to see you.
You know the way he is.
Jerry, I'm telling
you, it's a necessary evil.
Dig deeper. Only
you can handle this investigation.
OK, look here, you little shit.
I trusted you and your partner, Steve.
No, I know his name's not actually Steve.
His name is... Phil.
Phil? Phil.. Yes.
And I know everything
that's going on over there.
Bottom line is, it's your case. Sure.
Just give me a fucking report. All right.
Wonderful.
See, you guys have fun.
So, Harry, what can I do you for?
You called me in here.
I know it was a test.
I wanted to see if you were a man enough
to admit your own ignorance.
I'm sorry to hear about
Mrs. Pritchett, last night.
How's she holding up?
Oh, we're getting a divorce.
I'm sorry to hear about that.
Tell me about it.
My lawyer's basically stealing from me.
So, Harry, you're
doing pretty well here. Yeah.
You got fans, readers
and the critiques you write
will make or break the book's future.
You're killing it, right? Right.
Wrong.
I'm not sure you're aware that literally.
Everyone is asking you to do one thing.
Write a novel, your fans want you to do it
so you can show them who's boss
your haters want you to do,
so they could see you fail and show
you're a hypocrite.
Which one are you?
I'm the one who's newspapers
going to publish the damn thing.
But you got to write something.
The people have spoken.
Give them what they want.
What people?
I don't hear any people here. No,
but you're hearing me.
I speak for the people.
And once your book is published,
you, too, will have the same power here.
Honey. No, this is the office.
You can't call me here.
You know that. We decided
on that last night.
But you can't back off from that now.
It's over, Martha.
OK, sweetie, I can't be nice to two people
at the same time.
I'll call you later.
Where were we? With all due respect,
Mr. Pritchett, I'm
on a roll right now and this book thing
is gonna to break it.
See, kid?
I'm trying to pull you up
to a whole new level of success,
but you have to go limp for me
so I can pull you all the way up.
Huh?
It's this. Oh, you're fired.
This is unfair. You cannot do that.
I won't write it.
I won't write it.
I won't write it. I can't write it.
I won't write it. No, I won't write.
So I'm writing it.
Ok.
I'm telling you, I'm
tired of being pushed around all the time.
You gotta make a move, man! Stand
up for yourself.
No, I'm just gonna get this over with,
you know, phone it in.
God forbid you make an effort.
So Em, what's this big news
you wanted to tell us?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
All right, here it goes.
We're all ears.
Ok, here it goes.
I just signed my first feature film
with a studio. Oh, my god.
Directed by Sofia Coppola. Hmm.
First half is filming in New England.
And then we're moving to New York.
So I'm going to get to see my parents.
That's great. Amazing.
That's amazing. So
happy for you.
To, Emily.
Oh!
Oh, it feels like
you moved in here yesterday
and you have been by my side
through thick and thin
ever since we started our journey together.
Actually, you started much later
than me, didn't you?
Harry, whatever the bottom line
is, I'm happy for you
and I wish you all the best on this movie.
That's not really the vibes
I'm getting here.
Well, you know, I think I'm
understandably conflicted.
Conflicted? About me succeeding.
Guys, chill.
I'm chill, I'm chill! It's just, things
were finally taking shape.
Now it's all falling apart.
Harry, you're finally where you wanted to
be, aren't you? Oh, yeah,
reviewing fucking books
is what I wanted to do all along.
Well, if you had stuck with voice acting
instead of leaving halfway,
you probably would have made it by now.
I mean, you're supposed to fix yourself
a goal and then work towards it.
Where'd you get that,
The Secret? Tell me this.
Oh Guru: have you ever lost a gig
because of your accent?
Have you ever lost a gig because
you didn't suck the producer's dick?
Oh, of course you're going to play
that card.
That card? You know what,
Harry? Fuck you.
I have been working
my ass off for six years.
And when I finally get my foot
in the door, you're being an asshole.
What do you want to say?
Congratulations, Emily.
I'm happy for you.
I am happy for you.
Guys tell her. I'm happy for you.
Get the fuck out.
This was supposed to be my night,
and you're bringing
your own personal shit into it.
Get the fuck out.
Wait, Emily.
It's okay Jonathan.
It's just means you, me and Sam
will be spending more time together.
See you at the bookstore tomorrow.
Harry.
We're moving out too.
Guys, I'm sorry.
I was'nt gonna bring it up this way.
But, um, some things have changed.
For, for me, for us and. And,
and so what that means is that uh,
What?
Well, we've we've, we've Uh...
We're moving to Florida.
I sold the bookstore.
You're kidding me, right?
Chapter 3
Other Side Of the Fence.
My name is Edson Alves Jr.
I'm the writer of the book
series Criminals.
Hi, my name is Colette
Freedman and I wrote Sister Cities.
Hi, my name is Ines des Santos, and
I'm the writer of Randy.
It's about six teenagers
that they kill a girl
and then they must hide it for the whole
story of the eight novels.
A story about four strange sisters who
reunite for their mom's alleged suicide.
Randy is a comic book series about Randy,
who is the guy that goes from state
to state, having sex
with a bunch of girls.
In my long history as a novelist,
the greatest critic
I have ever experienced
is my dear friend Harry Chandra.
He was just like, ha, ha, ha. Harry,
inspired me to write the film. And
it's been acquired by
Netflix starring
Jacki Weaver and Alfred Molina
and Jess Blakeslee, Michelle Trachtenberg,
Dwayne Bellisario, you name it.
They're in it. And
I give all of my credit to Harry.
He is he is just a genius.
He is not a fucking genius,
ok? He's not.
This boy, this man child
has an insight that it's
like he pulls it out of my soul.
He says, oh, it's good. Oh, it's bad.
And he ruined somebody's
career just like that.
He knows he knows what he's writing about.
He knows how to phrase everything.
We take time.
We take effort writing this shit.
And then he just like does two fucking
essay paragraphs and we're done.
He's like the Blake Snyder
for screenwriters.
He has an insight that most 80 year
old women don't have.
Harry, how do you
even pronounce that name?
Hari? Uh?
He's a great act... He's a great writer.
I love you Harry.
As Blake Snyder was pushed.
I have to challenge you now, Harry.
Write. Write something yourself, Harry.
Stop critiquing other people
and have the balls to do it yourself.
You're that good.
Because one thing is criticizing
and the other thing is fucking writing it.
A book of his own.
You know, I really want to see
like how good he is as a writer.
I just want to read it.
I just want to have fun with it.
And I'm very excited
to hear more about it.
So, yeah, Harry,
you go ahead and fucking write that book
because I want to see you suck.
Thank you, Colette Freedman, sister
cities, it's available on Amazon.
That's that's that's the thing,
Harry, you, me, you, me, worldstar,
worldstar, bring it in, Harry,
is that all you got, Harry?
Is that all you got, Harry?
I love Harry like a son.
And you know, the one thing I always give
them crap for, he's too generous.
He insisted that
I let him take on this challenge.
And he's writing this
for all of you, his fans.
So all of you can improve
his writers alongside him.
I, for one, am excited, right, Amy?
It's Ariel.
Ariel, yes.
Now you're finally writing a book.
What is it going to be about? Nobody knows.
Well, there is nothing much
I can tell you at this moment.
Actually, there is this one thing
I've had this project since 2007,
but I never actually followed through
with actually writing it
, and I'm going to stick to it
and give you all something great.
And Mr. Pritchett, the head editor of the
to look at times
it's general knowledge that he took me
under his wing three years ago.
Is he coaching you with writing this?
Traveled back to the future.
Publishing companies.
Nobody seemed to like the book.
These futuristic
themes are too advanced for nowadays.
You might get the fame you desire
in a century or two.
Shelved.
But you failed, right?
You're not a hero anymore.
You're more than that.
I'm a human.
Hey, Harry, look who just,
decided to join us.
All right, everyone, that's your cue.
Writing for somebody else is a first.
I only voted for myself until now.
Never expected to have an audience.
Look, take your time. All right.
Take a couple of weeks off.
Every writer needs
inspiration and motivation.
Go on a vacation.
Hey, wanna go to Hawaii?
Anyway? Get it done and get it done quick.
You told me to take my time.
Take your time and get it done quickly.
Harry, don't be such a pain in the ass
to get my point.
Here is the thing.
Back then, I was not mature enough
to get the feedback
when it was giving it to me.
I am now. The basis of
the book is all up here.
The challenge is to allow my characters
to grow as much as I have,
- um,
- I'm sure it's gonna be great.
Hey, this is our guy?
Now, this is our guy.
It's our fucking guy.
What's up tough guy?
How you doing huh?
Where you going?
Ah!
Fucking look at me,
fucking look at me.
Have a nice fucking day.
Hey...
Harry?
Harry, what are you doing, Harry?
You can't go up there, Harry.
You know the way he is. He's in a meeting.
You can't go up there.
Of course, we'll
put our best man on the job.
Oh, here he is right now.
I'm on a call kid.
See you in five.
Get out.
Yes. Don't worry.
We've got it covered.
Some books to review.
This is a new priority,
not a novel.
Wait, what?
Pritchett words, not mine.
And this, my friends,
is where I decided to call it quits.
Guess who wrote one of these
new books I was assigned,
The Mysterious Man.
The guy who stole from me
and made millions of off my work.
And left me with something.
So that's why you're not hearing
from me anymore.
I try to reach those grapes,
but they are just too high.
So I said, fuck it once again and for all.
I'm sorry if I left
you all without notice.
If it helps know that I'm at peace now.
I'm living a life where I'm finally myself
and no amount of failed casting calls,
plagiarized novels.
Or lost friends is gonna change that.
That's the end of my big rant.
This is Harry Chandra signing out.
No, no, no, not Harold.
I'm looking for Harry.
The author of this audio book.
Oh, I know now I know you can't.
Oh, I know you can't tell me
his whereabouts for privacy purposes.
I was just wondering where
I might get a message to him.
Oh, that would work.
My turn to rant now, Harry.
Harry sends these from time to time.
Excuse me. Hey, what's up?
Yeah, sounds great.
Send me the script,
I'll give it a read.
Hope it helps.
Doctor Matthews.
Howdy.
I don't mean to bother you,
but I saw your name and check in
and I'm a huge fan.
I even got all your books.
Do you mind signing them for me?
Well, I'll sign these four.
I'm not signing that.
How about I buy it from you?
Well, all right.
You got a pen, son?
So how long you staying here?
Just passing through.
Howdy. What are you drinking?
I was hoping for an autograph.
No, no, no. Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, I come in peace?
And you'll leave in pieces.
Harry, calm down, man.
I swear I wasn't boasting I was...
I'm just trying to make a cool entrance.
I didn't write it.
Yeah, I didn't write it.
I know it. You know it.
Let's just talk, OK?
I'm just here to talk.
I never knew it was yours
until I listened to your audio book.
Zelig just asked for permission and
slapped my name on the cover.
Well it must have been somebody's
book, you didn't think to ask?
He told me he paid some
ghostwriter to do it.
That stuff happens all the time.
Convenient.
Look, I did play a part in
everything that happened to you,
I admit that.
Some kid wanted me to sign this
and I just couldn't do it.
And it's not the first time it happened.
I'm still waiting on that public
I never wrote it statement.
I'm not going to do that. OK.
After With Love, From Future I
penned four more novels.
If I reveal it I didn't write the book that
made me,
I'll discredit the ones I wrote.
Fuck you.
Oh, come on, man.
I tracked you down.
I came all the way out here to apologize.
Don't give me a hard time,
we both know I'm not the guy
you're really mad at, here.
Fair enough.
You know what?
I accept your apology.
You mind if I ask you something?
Why didn't you take Jessie to the police?
She probably would have confessed
right then and there.
I know you said that you forgot,
but I don't think you did.
Look, I accepted your apology.
We don't need to make conversation.
I'm off.
No, no, I'm serious.
Well, this stays in the room.
I didn't write the original manuscript.
I found it in my mail one day.
It's also why I didn't take Zelig's
feedback when he offered it me.
I was afraid I'd ruin it
if I made any changes.
I see...
You wanna know what's crazy?
I re-wrote it in it's
entirety for Pritchett.
Yeah, I heard the audiobook.
No, no, no.
I wasn't writing it from my memory.
I just showed what came to my mind
and what came to my mind
was exactly what I had
in the manuscript to begin with.
That's crazy, right?
Ah?
What?
I met Zelig once.
And, then
he was gone.
Did you ever wonder who sent you
the manuscript in the first place?
Yeah, sure, but...
What if nobody ever stole from you?
What if it was you who was, let's say,
renting the idea in the first place?
I still don't get it.
His company name, VIATOR.
It means 'The Traveler' in latin.
As in the main character
in all your books, The Time Traveler.
Zelig the Time-Traveler?
Zelig the Time-Traveler.
Coursing through history.
Witnessing it participating
whenever he feels like it.
Which is why he focuses on the smaller
things, like, like stealing books
to entertain himself.
Entertainment.
And he gets bored, you know, jumps
from job to job era to era.
So in this era, he tries a lot of mundane
jobs and publishers, just one of them.
And he's good at it, too.
But then somebody comes along
and tells them a story,
a story about a character
who eerily sounds a lot like him.
This isn't a coincidence.
This is a message from his future self
who somehow got his hands on your
version of An Identical Visitor..
And that message says.
Do exactly what this idiot's
telling you to do,
and your story will become immortal.
But you didn't wanna play game.
So, huh? Well, travel to the right moment
in time when he could have free access to.
Wealth wasn't enough.
He wanted fame, and you told an outline
of your story to Pritchett.
And by this time,
Zelig's a known publisher... and
has regular chats with Pritchett,
who likes the sound of his own voicee
so much that he probably
let your story slip at some point.
So that's what he did.
He traveled to the past.
He stole a bestseller
and published it under his name.
Leaving you with nothing.
Oh. Holy shit.
Yeah.
Of course, there
is another theory.
What's that?
There is a God and he loves watching
you lose your shit.
Oh, strangely enough,
I prefer the first one.
It's the one that makes the most sense.
Despite it involving time-travel?
It's detailed. Surprisingly detailed.
Well, you must have listened
to my audio book many times over.
Well, when the narration is captivating,
the story becomes a more vivid,
immersive experience.
Can you rephrase that?
You're a great voice actor, Harry.
I felt like I was right there with you
when I was listening to it.
So are you really out of the
writing business? Because if so
that's too bad, I got friends
who would really be interested.
It's fine. Just remember,
it only takes one big hit
to break into the industry.
All it takes is one big hit.
An opportunity, any opportunity.
And you get the 15 minutes of fame
every artist craves.
I spent the last eight years ranting
about everything that happened to me.
If only I could just go back
and relive those moments again.
One big hit.
My previous attempts at getting
it never ended well.
But what do you guys think?
The third time's the charm.