The Bill Murray Experience (2017) Movie Script

1
[Sadie Katz] Where do I begin?
Let's just start with bill Murray.
I mean, in case you've been living under a rock,
we all know that bill Murray is a comedian,
he's an actor, an overall genius,
but the thing is,
there's something called the...
So what the heck is a bill Murray experience?
I don't know. It takes on a different form every time.
Sometimes it's just bill Murray
randomly crashing your kickball game.
Another time it's bill Murray
showing up at your ice cream social.
Or sometimes it's something really amazing,
something you need at just the right time
before you're getting married,
and boom, there's bill Murray.
He's giving you the best possible advice ever.
If you have someone that you think is the one,
buy a plane ticket for the two of you
to travel all around the world
and go to places that are hard to go to
and hard to get out of.
And, if when you come back
to jfk,
you're still in love with that person,
get married at the airport.
[Sadie] Isn't bill the best?
Okay, this is where I come in.
That's me, Sadie.
I call this my blue phase.
I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself.
My wedding engagement just fell through.
Yeah, I have a little boo-hoo for me.
All right, that's enough.
I was needing a little distraction
from my love problems,
and call it fate or what have you,
but everywhere I looked,
there was bill Murray.
I guess there was a part of me
that was, like, looking for magic
and looking for something outside of myself.
I was surfing on the Internet, clicking on stuff,
and then I saw this article about bill Murray.
He steals a French fry off the plate,
and he covers the person's eyes,
and when they... He uncovers their eyes, he says,
"no one will ever believe you."
The idea that he was kind of giving people
that kind of magic...
You know, they're going about their ordinary life,
and bill Murray comes in out of nowhere,
and it was everywhere, and I kept clicking on it,
the more it came up.
People were responding to it
in a way that it was going viral.
He's doing something really magical.
He's like this modern-day Santa Claus.
I don't know what it was about that night,
but it felt like my lightning moment
where I wanted that so bad.
I don't think I knew then yet
why I wanted a bill Murray experience
'cause I just was in the beginning of it.
[Woman] songbird, sing "I love you"
wrap the moon and stars around you
float gently a feather
though we could not be together
someday I'll fly to
someday I'll find you again
Songbird, sing for me
I know the tide is rolling in
I've seen my share of sin
and I think we could still be friends
'cause someday I'll fly to
someday I'll find you again
Bill Murray. Oh, my god.
He was a huge inspiration.
I got into golf and "caddyshack"
at the same time.
I mean, Christmas isn't Christmas
without watching "scrooged."
And I have to watch "scrooged."
Him and Carol Kane. Gotta watch that.
Oh, "caddyshack" without a doubt.
This is a print of bill Murray
from "quick change" when he robbed a bank.
"Ghostbusters." he's been an
inspiration to me since I was young.
I... I think it's my favorite underrated bill Murray movie.
He is my personal mentor.
I patterned part of my youth after Carl from "caddyshack,"
and I thought that was, like, someone to look up to,
and I thought he was pretty badass,
so, I mean,
my mis... my mistake.
It starts to have this really magical feeling,
and I start to read more stories of bill Murray,
um, you know,
drinking beer at a bar
and instead of drinking beer,
he's drinking chicken noodle soup.
And I start to want to meet him
on, like, a really...
I just... it's like...
I wanna know him really badly.
I mean, at the time, like,
it just seemed like a no-brainer,
like this is so genius,
and I get to meet bill Murray at the end of it.
And that's right when I start to fall
in the bill Murray hole.
Genevieve. So this guy got...
Okay. Okay, stop.
- [Laughs]
- [Genevieve] What?
- No filming while I'm naked.
- What about this guy?
Are you going to tell me pertinent information?
- Yes.
- Well, just tell it to me.
- Can you see...
- You look gorgeous.
Can you see my boobs in camera?
No, do you want to? Stand up.
- No.
- Okay, don't...
[Screams]
Okay, so this is what I know so far.
Mr. Murray is 63 years old,
which seems about right.
But here's the crazy thing. He's a Virgo,
which seems really crazy and weird.
But he's a virgo/libra cru... cusp,
which makes sense
because I'm a libra.
He has six kids,
but I feel like we can look them up on, like, Twitter
or Facebook or Instagram, but that's, like, cheating.
- [Genevieve] Are they adults?
- They're, like, 40.
- Oh, okay.
- So they're not on, like, Twitter,
but they're on Facebook, but that's cheating,
so we can't do the kids.
The kids is weird, but it's stalkery.
He has three brothers.
What about the brothers? Should we go through them?
They're, like, 60.
Like, "hi."
But you know what? Uh...
That's your type, isn't it?
Joel Murray's an actor. Isn't he?
Yes, he's on "god bless america."
[Sadie] Oh, really? That crazy dude
who came in and shot up everyone?
[Genevieve] Yeah, the sweet little girl.
[Sadie] Uh, and John...
Where's my blue?
Brian Doyle sounds familiar.
Didn't he try to be senator?
Am I just making that up 'cause it sounds like Brian Doyle?
'Cause I never...
I don't know.
And I don't know why I wrote this down
so now it's relevant.
Why is bill Murray 6'2"?
[Genevieve laughing] Does he seem like he'd be 6'2"...
I don't know. Okay.
[Genevieve] No, actually he
doesn't come off as a tall person.
He doesn't. Like now I feel like
when I meet him,
maybe I should wear heels. I don't know.
We need to find out bill Murray's 800 number.
Okay, 800.
Bill Murray can only be reached
by an 800 number.
He does not have a cell phone. No, no, no, no, no.
I find that hard to believe.
How does Wes Anderson get a hold of him then?
You know, that's the whole thing.
He only gets scripts sent to a fed ex in... New York,
so this is where he gets his scripts sent.
A fed ex in New York.
That's why he did "Garfield."
The kids at the fed ex in New York
rate the scripts and approve it.
Well, he got "garfields" into it,
according to the Internet,
and it said that it was written by Joel Cohen,
- which he thought was the Cohen brothers.
- Right.
And it wasn't,
and so he signed on to do "Garfield."
So I didn't want it just to be about me
and my quest to, you know, meet bill Murray
as I wanted it to be about friendship
and encouraging your girlfriend to do the same thing,
and I wanted us also to, um...
Kind of be bad girls, you know?
I, uh... [Laughs]
Like we are.
And I thought that there would be
something kind of cool in that, so...
Hello.
- [Dog barking]
- I don't want any.
It's the girl scouts!
Yes.
- Thin mints.
- Hi.
You're kidding me.
Sadie: What do you think?
Woman: What are you doing?
I'm engrossed in very deep research.
None of these things are going to help you find the guy.
I'm supposed to be doing right now
if you really wanna find him, does it really matter
if he's a Virgo or a libra cusp?
You didn't even see my research yet.
You need to know where he's gonna be.
But let's get his... Like get online,
and let's start looking at, like,
literally places that he's gonna be.
[Sadie] I have no idea how to find him
because I... I...
Well, let's research places that he's been.
Let's research, uh, like, festivals he attends to,
golfings he attends to,
- golfing.
- He does golfing.
Baseball teams
and Minnesota.
It's like he's... He goes from...
Uh, where is Minnesota?
[All laugh]
I'm so embarrassed.
Hey, here is Minnesota.
So he knows some baseball teams.
Well, we know he's 6'2".
[Sadie] Dude, do you know... What told me once?
Smoking...
[Jen] You know what? I don't think recopying
all of the facts from his Wikipedia page
are going to be effective
in what we're trying to do.
[Sadie] And I have this whole office...
This is the whole thing. I wanna find bill Murray,
but, like, I also want it to be an organic experience,
- so I'm like...
- Right.
Stalking YouTube...
[Woman] It's gonna be our day.
So I cannot talk to you...
Look at this chalk picture of your face.
I think I need a glass of wine.
We start to do, you know, the first phase,
which is research of bill Murray...
Um...
Which maybe wasn't the best, but...
[Chattering]
We've been walking back and forth here,
but we haven't found it.
[Passersby chattering]
Oh, my god.
It says bill Murray doesn't have a star.
I thought the website you went to
said his star was here.
Well, the first website I went to,
let's see, says he has a star,
and then when I go back,
it says bill Murray doesn't have a star.
I don't know why someone would
write it's in front of the Egyptian.
So if you said "bill Murray's star"...
That's what I did. I said, "where is... is..."
[Woman] Exactly, you'll find some information...
Chacha.com said it was in front of here.
Chacha.com. That's your first problem.
No, see, I don't wanna just find out...
Okay, so we know he lives in south Carolina.
It's too weird, like, "hi, now I'm a stalker."
Like if I can have an experience with him.
[Friend laughing]
[Woman] Get rid of the...
[Woman 2] It's a type of experience.
Yeah, but then it's... That's, like, weird,
and then what experience do I wanna have, though?
But aren't there stories about people
kind of randomly meeting him at a bar,
- meeting at...
- Random, yeah.
So what we need to do...
Is set up a random experience.
A random...
Sort of experience
where we know he's gonna be somewhere
and run into him in a public setting
either an event,
or if we find out he's gonna be pitching
at one of the opening throws
at a baseball team's baseball game.
Look at Jen.
She's in deep thought right now.
You said he has an 800 number.
Yeah, but I haven't been able to find it
I don't know how you find it.
I googled it.
[Sadie] It's not gonna be just on Google.
Yeah, but it might be on imdb pro.
Okay, I don't have a 800 number for him,
but I have his legal representation
and a contact number on his imdb page.
Oh, skip brittenham.
I fucking know him. Go.
Is that skip?
I don't know. Let's see who it is.
- Oh, my god.
- Yes.
Okay, okay, I used to work for Glen a. Larson.
I was his, uh... I was his assistant for a couple years
when I was, like, 25. He's the greatest person.
In my other real life I'm actually a writer.
- And, uh...
- "In my other real life"?
In my real life, when I'm not chasing bill Murray
and dying of a broken heart.
[Sadie] During a break in filming scrooged,
bill spent the weekend at rancho la Puerta,
a vegetarian health spa
in Baja, California.
The place was packed with mostly Beverly Hills housewives.
He spent the few days hiking,
swimming, and signing autographs,
being a little weary from the
attention and autograph seeking,
he was approached by a woman wearing a fur coat
and asking for yet one more autograph.
He agreed on one condition...
He could throw her in the pool.
She laughed and said, "sure,"
and handed him a pen.
With that, bill scooped her up
and walked to the deep end of the pool
and dropped her in, fur coat and all.
She left with a big smile, an autograph,
and her very own bill Murray experience.
[Wind buffeting microphone]
What a spazzy, sweet dog.
All right. Okay, I'm waiting for Mark to call.
Wally called right now.
- Hello there.
- Mark?
Yes?
Hey, this is Sadie.
[Mark]
I'm good. Okay, you know how I'm doing that thing
about bill Murray?
And you know how you said it's
the worst idea you ever heard?
Okay, well, we realized that skip... skip brittenham
is one of bill Murray's agents,
and you know how Glen Larson
is, uh... used to be represented by skip brittenham, right?
Do you think that you could get
me in touch with skip brittenham?
Okay, well, I know.
Do you think you could get Glen
to get me in touch with skip?
Yeah, would that be crazy?
Okay, so do you think you...
You could get me in touch with skip?
Okay, okay, okay.
Um... uh...
Yeah, but didn't you do "leprechaun"?
That makes you pretty big, too.
Oh, they didn't do your deal,
you're pretty big.
Oh, right.
So, okay...
Okay, so how about you arrange lunch
with you and Glen and I,
and I talk to Glen about meeting skip.
Is Glen in town?
I know, but it will be well deserved.
Okay, will you work on that for me?
Give me a promise promise?
Yeah, tipping in.
Okay, thanks, Mark.
I think... well, do you have any bill Murray stories?
Give me bill Murray.
Give me skip brittenham and bill Murray.
Nah, I don't know about that,
bye. [Imitates static]
Bye, Mark.
I think the girls thought
that I would, like, come up with this idea
about bill Murray
and, like, after I smoke a little and drink a little,
um, I would just, like let it go
it would never come up again.
Well, here's the problem.
I start to research every night,
staying up, reading about bill Murray.
And the more I read...
I don't know what it is,
but I just start to have this feeling,
like I'm exactly doing exactly
what I'm supposed to be doing.
- Genevieve.
- What?
Put the camera down.
[Genevieve] why?
Whatcha doing?
What do you think I'm doing?
Guess what I'm doing?
- Guess.
- [Genevieve] Masturbating.
- No, I'm...
- Looking at porn.
I'm looking for bill Murray.
- Oh, cool.
- What do you think I'm doing?
- Looking for bill Murray?
- Yes, I am.
- Where is he?
- I don't know.
I... like he's doing this new movie right now,
and, um...
I don't know, like...
I don't know.
I don't understand a lot of these sightings.
They... they look like they're all over the map,
so I think that we're gonna have to start
charting, like,
which ones are true and which ones aren't,
like did he steal a French-fry off your plate here?
And the next day he played kickball
and then the next day he,
you know, poured Tequila shots.
So we have to start deciphering what's true,
you know, but this is the thing...
I don't really have the budget to fly everywhere,
and everything's on the east coast,
so I know I'm sounding really crazy
'cause I don't wanna get upset about it
'cause it's supposed to be fun and loose and free
and, you know, feel good,
but I am freaking out a little bit
because I'm going, "well, everything's there,"
and it's a three-hour time difference, so...
And I forget to call
in the right amount of time.
And now I'm like...
I don't know. I just wanna know
where there's an event or somewhere he'll be
so I can just go there,
but instead I'm trying to research a lot of stuff
that I have no idea,
and now the Internet won't open.
[Woman] been down this road again
We are having a big research meeting.
Very serious.
[Woman] Very serious.
A couple of margaritas.
In 2006 bill crashed a college house party
in St. Andrews, Scotland.
He told jokes, danced,
and drank vodka straight out of a coffee mug.
He finished the night
by doing the dirty dishes in the sink,
leaving them with their very own bill Murray experience.
And then I have this great thing happen
on the other side of my life
as I get cast in this horror film in Bulgaria
and where I play, like,
an incestuous cannibal
for the "wrong turn" franchise,
which is like a very cool run for me
and I was really excited,
but I had a lot of mixed feelings,
but everyone sort of wanted me to go
and do this project, and I loved it,
and I got to play this really insane...
Character.
It was a popular franchise,
and I was creating a character.
I was building up a following
where people were, like, wanting my autograph
and kind of seeking me out.
It was like this parallel universe.
At the same time of me sort of trying to find bill Murray,
I'm getting, like, fan mail
of people saying, like, "oh, my god, it's so great,"
you know, "I love what you did",
or "I can't wait to see your film coming out.
And I'm like, "oh, that's so spooky."
Uh, I get this thing
where bill Murray loves golf,
and he's at the pro-am.
Bill Murray goes to pebble beach every year,
and all he does is wild antics.
So we'll just go to the pebble beach pro-am,
bill will be there,
and then, um, great.
Check this out.
- [Jenny] Oh, bill or bust!
- Hi.
This is ridiculous a little bit, right?
It's a little bit, but that's what
we expected... We expected...
Everyone I'm telling about
is thinking I'm completely ridiculous...
And I don't know why.
It's like when you do something
and you know, like, as you're doing it,
maybe I shouldn't be doing this,
but you wanna do it so bad that, I don't know.
- [Woman] Hello.
- We gotta find David
- and see the big...
- Oh, fuck.
[Sadie] Okay, dear, you ready for this?
Yes, this is a good idea.
- [Woman] Of course it is.
- We'll go to pebble beach.
We're going to get bill Murray,
and he's going to give us chicken noodle soup.
Say hi, David. Hello, David.
David's one of my best friends on the planet.
He's also the director of "children of the corn ii,"
"Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde"...
He really enjoyed filming that movie for lots of reasons...
And son of darkness,
and David has one of the most iconic lines ever
from "fast times at Ridgemont high."
Uh, come on, David.
- What?
- Come on.
When you first, uh, meet spiccoli, I say...
That guy's been stoned since the third grade.
Okay, so, David...
- Yes.
- What do you think of this?
I think it's another hair-brained idea
from Sadie,
but it's not surprising.
So basically here's the deal.
David and Charlotte are supposed to give us their rv,
but of course, naturally,
it's not here.
It's getting repaired.
So now the tension is high right now.
Are you... are we gonna be able to get sound in the Van
to record anything, or is it just going to be fucked up?
- It's going to be fucked up.
- [Woman] Ask the sound guys, girl.
- We are?
- Yeah.
Yeah, we are.
- You are?
- Yeah.
- Sure.
[Sadie] Look what a cutie-pie they are.
And they're dealing with us.
[Woman] Do we want to do an introduction now?
- Yes.
- You want us to know who you are,
to these fine people?
Hi, my name is Andrea. I am
the boom operator for this project.
And... yeah, let's have fun and find bill, right?
Introduce yourself, please, sir.
I am ready to go. I'm Claudio. I'm the sound mixer.
I'm ready to go.
- [Woman] Yeah, yeah.
- Adventure stuff.
Adventure stuff. What do you think about bill Murray?
Fine. Yeah. Totally.
- [Woman laughing]
- That's...
What do you think of this, for real?
Um, I really think that this is a great idea,
- when you...
- Really?
Yes, I do. I really do think it's a great idea.
I think that... I think that bill Murray
is an outstanding and hysterical human being
who will appreciate, you know, this project.
And, more importantly,
I really, really, really, um...
I think...
I mean, just trying to get a bill Murray experience
is... Is a bill Murray experience.
You know what I mean?
They're... They're backing it up right now,
as you can see. I'm ready cam...
I don't know... 'Cause I'm a camera operator
and I'm... camera.
[Truck beeping]
Did that do it? I don't know. We'll check.
Amber alert, Amber alter...
Two young Italian men
last seen being dragged into a Van
by four suspect looking women.
They are armed and dangerous
with weed and pussy.
[Other laugh]
Basically what's going on right now
is we didn't get the rv,
which is not gangsta.
It is not cool.
Now we're in the Van
that looks like we're Disney characters or something
I'm excited about this,
and I don't want it to be like everyone came out with this
and it's, like, so stupid.
And I hope that, even with the rain,
that bill Murray will still be there.
- Yeah.
- I think we're gonna have
a fun time no matter what because we always have one.
- Okay.
- [Woman] We do.
Not gonna let them.
And I don't mind
be the first one to say
that my time hasn't come yet
that you'll stop... face
in your place I won't sleep
to make it
ooh
All that I had to say
is tied up and thrown away
one door closes, one more opens
[Continues singing]
...beauty queen
[Sadie] We are at the beautiful...
Can they see us? Can you see... where...
- Yeah. You can see the camera.
- This is very confusing to me.
The camera looks like it's here, but it's there... okay.
- We...
- You can see the hole.
We are at the beautiful
sea breeze inn,
and today is the day
that we're gonna meet bill fucking Murray.
I can't... we didn't record what happened last night
because I think it's better left for our imagination. Yes?
[Jenny] What happens at pebble beach...
[Jenny and Sadie] Stays at pebble beach.
So here's the deal.
I've been stoned solid for two days,
- which is not my normal state.
- [Woman] Whoo!
But now I'm starting to wonder
what kind of a good idea this is,
and I have all these signs
and I haven't showered
because we didn't have time for us to take a shower,
so now I'm like a homeless person
who's coming to see bill Murray,
and, I don't know what I'm going to say to him.
I don't...
It's like I'm thinking about it right now.
I'm going, is this a good idea?
Like, like...
Like do I come up to him, like, with a sign?
[Laughs]
Feel like I'm on a death march to bill Murray.
Get in the Van! [Screams]
- [Woman] Good luck.
- [Sadie] Shit.
Damn it, bill Murray. Those were for you.
I really don't know what I'm gonna say,
and I'm kind of like...
Freaking out a little bit.
I don't know.
This coffee, like, maybe. I don't know.
Like I need a beer or something.
We're already gonna be... Like
people are already, like, you know.
- [Woman] One of them days.
- Now... okay, I'm getting nervous about it, basically.
Maybe not showering
makes me feel like a homeless street performer
at venice beach.
[Woman] They make money.
[Woman] Can I show you something?
It looks really dead here.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
[Sadie] Like nobody's here.
There's no one in golf gear.
I thought it's a big event, and it's raining.
[Woman] So California has been in a drought,
so this is, like, the only rainy spot.
[Sadie] Look, it's windy. There's no one outside.
There's that person.
What would bill Murray be if
he wasn't bill Murray the actor?
I mean, I'm serious, like...
[Genevieve] He'd be a teacher, like in "ghostbusters."
He'd be a teacher, right?
But he would be that teacher you love.
We all had those teachers.
Maybe that's what bill Murray really is,
like in a way, bill Murray's, like, trying to teach
everyone to, like, be silly.
- [Woman] Be cool.
- It doesn't matter.
Be cool.
Sorry, babe. I'm still looking this up.
But, like, I think that's a little bit, like, what it is.
I don't know.
Maybe he's just fucking around.
[Woman laughs]
I-I mean, seriously.
Maybe he's just fucking around, doesn't mean anything.
You know? But we endow it with, like, some huge meaning
- because he's a celebrity.
- [Woman] Right.
[Jen] Yeah, I think we should park and, like...
- [Woman] Okay.
- Go down there and get that tram
and see what the hell's going on.
[Sadie] I don't know why I
expected it to look like Coachella.
[Woman laughing]
[Sadie] No one's even here.
- [Woman] Well...
- [Woman 2] Well...
[Sadie] I mean, I guess... no.
[Woman] Well, we have to go
down to the golf place, I think.
There's... know what? I haven't seen even any golf clubs.
Like bill Murray? You think bill Murray's like,
"hey, I'm gonna go play golf with no one"?
- [Woman] In the rain?
- [Sadie] He's where the people are.
And we are where the people aren't.
Have you seen one person in a golf outfit
or anyone that looks like they should be here?
...again
I don't know where I'm going
far away
won't they let me go
far away
Have you guys ever had a crazy bill Murray story?
Um, I've seen him there at AT&T.
Is he c... is... What's he like?
What's the best way to approach bill Murray?
I don't know. I mean, when you...
When you see him playing and stuff,
he'll come over, you know,
before the players started and stuff,
and he had this big giant
blowup, like, sofa that he had there.
I don't know what...
You know, what hole it was or anything.
- [Woman screams]
- [Woman 2] Yeah.
Do you think if something bad happened to bill Murray,
I could get arrested?
Like people would be like,
"I know this girl."
[Woman] "She's obsessed."
"She's been obsessed."
Her whole house is bill Murray.
I'm like... it's like I'm rolling downhill like this,
and I just keep rolling.
Like no one's stopping me,
you bitches.
Everyone's like, "get that monster."
You know
that we're doing a documentary
about searching for bill Murray.
[Man] Oh, yeah...
[Indistinct chattering]
Yeah? Is he... is he here?
- [Man] I don't think so.
- You don't think so?
[Chattering]
So, basically,
I'm not very good at research
because this newspaper,
the "monterey county weekly,"
uh, "dear bill, come back. A love note to bill Murray
as he dares to miss the AT&T to work on a movie."
And basically this article is about the fact
that I guess he's premiering this movie
"monuments men," and he's not going to be here.
That's great. You know?
[Sadie] It felt like a lesson
in buddhism or something,
of like, you know,
when something comes up,
it's part of the bill Murray experience.
Every time something happened, I was like,
"well, you know,
that's what bill's teaching me."
There's a line in "ghostbusters,"
where egon says to... Well, he
asks him, "what are we gonna do?"
And he's just like, "I don't know,"
but he says it in an inspiring way.
He's just a smooth operator.
He's like Mike in his younger days.
He just exudes himself.
It's hard to find role models in our society nowadays,
and it's, you know, you gotta look in the rough,
and... and... Little would you know
that in the film industry you can find that,
and you find that in a man like bill Murray.
I felt like the more I put out there...
You know, bill Murray,
bill Murray, bill Murray...
The more...
The more that I would make that come into actuality.
I was going to bring that into my universe,
and so he became this, like, living metaphor
of me, like, accepting things
and, like, this journey.
Doing this whole thing,
I don't even know why I'm... It just...
I don't even know why I'm doing it
except the biggest thing for me
is I'm learning this really weird lesson
of, like, normally when things wrong
or I can't figure something out
or like I get no
or get dumped or fired,
like freak out
and just crawl into this ball and cry.
And now every challenge has kind of been like,
"oh, well, that's part of the bill Murray experience."
It's part of the bill Murray experience.
In 2007 at a golf tournament in Utah,
bill decided to forgo the traditional cry of...
And instead through a coke bottle into the crowd.
It ended up being a bill blunder.
He hit a spectator in the face,
shattering the fan's nose,
causing him to bleed profusely.
A mortified Murray
apologized to the bleeding fan
and autographed the coke bottle,
leaving him with a bloody-nose smile
and his very own bill Murray experience.
I was starting to not, like, know
what my next step is going to be.
My girlfriends were...
Like, you know, not that interested,
and that's all I wanted to talk about was bill Murray.
And so it was getting us in a really weird spot.
Well, the sure way to lose 80 friends
is to do an actual project with them.
[Woman] ...When you're breaking down
and they won't let breathe
you gotta fight or fly
aren't you supposed to hide
all the words that ride inside
let repression win and say it's okay
here I am
here I stand
I wanted to kind of let someone in bill's camp
know what I was doing,
not that they were going to approve of it,
but, I don't know,
it just seemed like the right thing to do.
We are at the comedy store,
and... I think it's the comedy store...
And I'm... go in. I open the door.
And the first person I see is Joel Murray,
and I... he, like, turns around and I go,
"hey, Joel, can I buy you a beer?"
I'm doing a documentary about your brother,
"and I want to talk to you about it."
And we're rolling.
[Man singing]
Thank you.
[Sadie] You rock.
I can't tell you how exciting it is
to be sitting next to...
The brother of a legend.
It's... it's pretty exciting. Thank you.
I can feel that.
Yeah, so what's it like to be
the brother of bill Murray?
Well, you get to answer that question a lot.
- Yeah.
- So that's fun.
He was always very funny,
and we grew up in a funny household,
and...
I mean, I remember...
The first thing where I remember just belly laughing
was he used to do a thing where he...
he played kind of a bad Santa Claus,
and he would put kids on his lap
and say, you know, "hey",
"so what is it you want for Christmas?" You know...
"Oh, really? Really? A new pair of ice skates, huh?"
"Well, that's a good idea, but trap door,"
and he would spread his legs
and the kid would fall on the ground.
He said, "a little bit too greedy for you, pal."
No, no. Why don't you think about a little something less.
I should have gave you a couple more beers.
Do you...
Here we go. Drum roll.
Do yu have bill...
Billy... Bill Murray's 800 number?
- Do I?
- Yes.
Yeah, I do.
I have numerous numbers for him.
Is it on your cell phone?
Wait a minute. There's numerous numbers?
I hear he only has an 800 number.
Uh, he's... in the past decade
or so, he's taken to actually having a phone,
but I've been in the car with him a couple times,
where he's talking to somebody, go,
"oh, really? Really? Could you hold on a second?"
And he throws it out the car window.
And... so that number's no good, but...
Is it bullshit? I mean, like, is...
Is the bill Murray experience,
like is that... Is it kind of bullshit
and bill, like, fooling around?
The experience?
I mean, I... I haven't been privy
to a lot of the stories
that, you know, that you read
on the Internet kind of thing.
And I kind of look at some of them, go,
"eh, I don't know if that's true."
I've have numerous experiences with him,
and bill has the ability
to take a room from here to here,
but he also has the ability to
take a room from here to here,
depending on his mood.
[Sadie] The dark side of bill.
He's not that dark these days. He's in a pretty good mood.
But, uh,
you know, I, uh...
- We were in venice one time.
- [Sadie] Right.
And bill and I had gone out to dinner,
and after dinner,
"yeah, let's take a walk. Let's walk somewhere." You know.
And we go to this underground place,
and there's this crazy private karaoke place,
and, um, there's this Asian party going on.
Everybody's dressed to the nines,
I mean, incredible outfits.
I don't know if it was, like, Sony
executives or something like that,
but it was... It was top notch.
And... so we're kind of in the back room,
looking through this one-way glass at it,
and bill all of a sudden
says to the boss, that we've known...
"Hey, would it be all right if I sang 'sukiyaki'?"
[Sadie laughs] What's... no.
Like sukiyaki-zooday
[Hums]
Well, bill walks in and gets up and sings "sukiyaki,"
and he's got the words going by in Japanese,
and he's pointing to the words as he's singing along,
and he knows all the words to the song.
And I'm watching this thing, going,
how the hell does he know all the words to "sukiyaki"?
We walked out of there,
and, you know, you get this...
"That was kinda fun. Wasn't it?"
You know? And it's hilarious.
And I said, "well, where...
You know, "where you at? And I... "I gotta get going"
"no, that's all right. I'll walk."
And I... I walk in to my car,
and I'm thinking, "I just left him in venice."
I should get... Give him a ride.
And I turn around. And before I turn around, he was gone.
Okay, so now I'm asking you,
you're... you're one degree of separation away.
Okay? How would I go about having a bill Murray experience?
What's the best way?
Because I... you know,
do I meet him on set?
Do I go looking for him on the street?
Like I'm looking for bigfoot
how the hell do I find bigfoot?
Well, I'm not sure if it works with bigfoot,
but I would hang out in uncrowded dive bars
'cause that's where he likes to go.
Well, we're at one now.
Osmosis. This is dank.
Does he know about this documentary?
He's aware of it.
I mean, the fact that you're trying to find bill
is kind of game on. You know what I mean?
- It's a game?
- The fact that you're trying to find him
then he's trying not to be found.
You know? So I think he's on to you.
I had to drink so many beers to earn that interview.
It gave me a little push
of, like, that's right.
I just got Joel Murray.
I don't really know what I'm going to do,
and I get this great lead.
Bill Murray is shooting
"rock the kasbah"
in Morocco,
and I am stoked.
I start talking about the fact
that we absolutely must go to Morocco,
but I'm having these huge dizzy spells.
My right ear is like something popped
and I'm hearing this intense high-pitched ringing.
Beep.
And it's tinnitus,
and it's never going to go away.
I am drinking too much, partying too much,
and I'm under the bill Murray fever
like you've never seen before.
And I'm freaking the fuck out,
and I'm looking at wanting to sell everything I own
to go to Morocco,
and I'm calling everybody in my phone book
to go to Morocco,
and a lot of people are saying, like,
"your health isn't that good."
I could just see this idea
of um...
You know, being on a park bench,
like, surrounded with all these burkas,
and there is bill Murray
and his melancholy face.
Now I'm going on
two weeks of my ear ringing continually,
and I'm having these dizzy spells,
and I'm just running like crazy with my head cut off,
and no one really understands
how much my ear ringing's affecting me,
and part of me thinks that now
that's going to up the stakes
because if I meet bill Murray,
my ear's going to stop ringing.
Well, spoiler alert...
It's not going to stop ringing.
And so I got in a huge fight with all the girls,
and they decided to go their way,
and I went mine,
and then my boyfriend and I broke up,
and I moved out,
went back into my apartment.
About the same time, I'm losing a lot of weight,
and I'm feeling like maybe I should just drop it
because I lost my friends,
I lost my boyfriend,
I lost my home.
The project had started to...
Take over, but really it was,
you know, my obsession with...
Wanting to complete what I started,
which I had a simple quest,
to have a bill Murray experience.
So you know the part where Dorothy says
in "wizard of oz,"
that if you're ever looking for happiness,
never look any further than your own back yard,
it turns out I didn't have to go to Morocco anyway.
All I had to do was go to sherman oaks.
Bill Murray is shooting "rock the kasbah"
1.8 miles away,
according to my GPS, right in sherman oaks.
And I'm going to go get him a hundred balloons.
Okay, 90, but I cheated. Okay?
And I'm going to see him.
And I thought that the girls would be here,
but it turns out they stopped believing in bill Murray,
but you know who didn't?
This girl.
And I think tonight's the night, so...
This is it.
And I actually just peed my pants a little bit.
What I don't want to have happen
is, like, start crying
and then, like, my makeup smears all, like, crazy psycho
down my face.
Do you know what a hundred balloons looks like?
It's a fuck lot of balloons.
Hi.
[Woman] You're welcome.
This should be easy to drive with, right?
Um... okay.
- Thank you.
- [Woman] You're welcome.
How many balloons does it take were you actually fly away?
Every now and then I remember
that I'm actually an adult.
Okay.
Thank you.
Do you know bill Murray?
[Dog barking]
[People chattering]
Jill.
Hi, how are you?
Good. Nice to meet you.
You got my invite, so you guys know what I'm doing.
I've been working on this documentary
that's basically chasing bill Murray
to have a bill Murray experience.
[Chattering]
She said she's on the strip
to... meet bill Murray.
She was about to fly to Morocco,
and the... says, like,
"well, this is weird."
He's going to be next door next week.
Yeah, but his filming a trailer today,
and trying to get her... Here.
So he's next door. You haven't seen him yet, huh?
No, they're shooting in a hotel right now.
- Somewhere in the, you know...
- Are they still at the star hotel?
Yes.
[Groans]
[Man speaks indistinctly]
- They haven't even come here yet?
- No.
And all of a sudden
there's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Knock on the door. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Everyone's... The shit is hitting the fan,
and the wonderful a.D. From "rock the kasbah"
comes in and is like,
"what the fuck are you doing?"
I just wanna give him a hundred balloons
and not look like a crazy person.
That's not crazy.
I wanna be like, "hey, bill Murray,
I'm not crazy.
I'm just devoted to what you stand for."
And, um...
Mostly I just don't wanna look like...
I don't want the people around him to think I'm crazy
because I don't think bill Murray will think I'm crazy.
I just think the other people think I'm crazy.
- That...
- [Generator chugging]
[Woman mutters]
That in itself makes me feel crazy,
but I don't feel like a fake.
At this point
I'm .01 miles away.
[Inaudible]
Hi, officer.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
Have you ever wanted to meet bill Murray?
You have?
What did you think of him?
- He's a nice guy.
- He's a nice guy.
You have nice blue eyes.
Thank you.
Do you know that I can actually hear my heartbeat
in my ears right now? Is that right?
Yeah, that's... What are you doing?
[Genevieve laughs] We're just getting footage of her.
Oh, okay.
Just being silly.
What's with the balloons?
Well, they wanted them on set
for bill Murray.
Oh.
My son really wants this video
of me giving him...
And he loves police officers.
And you have a kind... You look
like you're not a real police officer.
- Really?
- You have the most beautiful face.
[Inaudible]
He's so tall, huh?
I know. It's weird. You wouldn't think he's that tall.
I know.
[Mutters]
Anyway, officer Preston.
It's a pleasure.
[Mutters]
This pleasure was all mine.
Sadie katz.
- Thanks.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Have a nice night.
So now I don't have a camera,
but I've got the balloons, I'm waiting for bill,
and I can see him from far away.
You know, you can see how tall he is,
and, you know, and there's a good hundred crew members,
if not more, and just lights and,
you know, trucks and everything,
and everyone's telling me,
"bill was just here.
Bill just stopped and had an ice cream.
People were taking pictures."
And I'm like,
"okay, I'm... damn it. All right."
So I guess when he was on break,
he had ice cream and so I'm like,
"all right, that's cool. I'll just wait."
So I'm, like, waiting.
Some director's gonna take me over at the end.
So I'm sitting with these balloons,
and a hundred balloons is heavy, too,
so your arm's like, you know, right?
Right at the very end, bill's about to leave.
He's wrapped. That's a wrap on bill.
Everyone starts clapping.
You know, when you're done shooting, everyone claps.
And, um...
The... so I kind of stand up,
and there's this... This Cadillac,
like this black car that's going to leave with him,
and I'm like, "that's great."
It's big enough where he can take some of the balloons.
And then this chick...
This little woman comes roaring around and goes,
"no. No. Not gonna happen.
Not gonna happen."
And I'm like...
And the assistant director goes,
you know, "she doesn't have a camera.
Can she at least meet him without the balloons?"
And she goes, "not gonna happen.
Just let 'em go. Let 'em go."
And... so I let the balloons go.
So I went home.
But here's the funny thing.
Two guys who where, I guess, from the neighborhood
have ice cream with bill Murray,
and it makes national news,
that night, when I was on set.
It's Reddit. It's on "rolling stone."
It's on CNN.
It's on the regular news.
Two guys have an ice cream social
with bill Murray.
Great. You fuckers.
You fuckers. You stole my bill Murray moment.
You know, bill Murray likes ice cream.
Apparently he likes ice cream more than he likes balloons.
- He already has them.
- Oh! That's low right there.
- Yeah.
- So can you please tell me
about the bill Murray moment you guys had?
Like how did it come about?
You wanna?
Well, our buddy Joe
had an ice cream truck.
He found out that they were filming
a movie with bill Murray on his street,
- so he decided...
- Oh, what's the movie?
[Together] "Rock the kasbah."
- Starring bill Murray.
- Starring bill Murray...
And other people, but really bill Murray.
Uh, so Joe...
Joe parked his ice cream truck
just a couple doors down from sets.
He got clearance for it, and he said, you know,
"bill Murray... I think he's going to come to the truck."
I think we're gonna get him to the truck,
so I was like... I'm like, "yeah",
I would like to join you at the truck then.
And I called this guy, who also knows Joe, and, uh...
And we... any opportunity to meet bill Murray,
obviously...
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Dude!
- So we ran... like, we ran.
I mean, we had, like, 15 minutes.
- We ran.
- We ran. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I didn't... I still didn't think he was going to show up,
- while we were there.
- No.
We were there for, like, three hours.
- Yeah.
- Um...
You know, just sitting in the ice cream truck,
handing out free ice creams to the cast and crew.
Um, and three hours into it,
all of a sudden we're looking out the window.
And up walks bill Murray
with a little girl that was in the movie.
- Yep.
- And he orders ice cream
'cause he's bill Murray.
- And he wanted only one.
- You're like, "what?"
We were waiting for you, though, right?
Yeah, but you're actually here.
Uh, I just remember him wanting to pay,
and Joe's like, "no, no, no,
I'm not gonna take your money."
Then he put a bunch in there in the tip jar for him.
Yeah, he put a bunch money in the tip jar,
then he came into the truck.
- Yep.
- Um, and, I mean,
all I could think was, "no one's gonna believe us."
Literally.
- Yeah.
- No one's gonna believe us.
No one will ever believe us.
- No.
- Ever.
I couldn't say anything.
I mean, he actually spoke.
I actually spoke.
This is the one... This is the one guy...
Celebrity that I would be very star struck with,
which I was, but I remember
taking the picture and him saying,
are you sure? Is the lighting good enough?
I just said, "bill, the lighting has never been better."
And I took it, and that was my bill Murray moment.
Pretty funny.
So they had their bill Murray experience.
Yeah.
About two weeks later,
I don't know the exact timing,
I went to ucla
and checked in for exhaustion.
I think I just needed a break
from everything and...
I mean, I don't...
I don't know if I would just... I don't know if I would say
it was, like, bill Murray, but I think...
That... that plate of bacon...
A big part of it is...
And the one thing I will say about that
is it's pretty funny
when you're in a situation like that,
and you're, like, trying to talk to your doctors
about, like... about it.
And...
I'm trying to explain what I'm going through,
and I'm like, "yeah, but bill Murray"
and bill Murray and bill Murray
and, like...
You know, like, no, but I'm really doing a documentary
about bill Murray.
I'm really gonna meet bill Murray.
It's funny only in retrospect.
When I got out of the hospital,
uh, bill Murray was still talking to me.
And I don't know if he was screaming,
but his whispering and I was
still going to fucking find him.
So a friend of mine, Dallas,
says, "I have a surprise for you."
No, it's just a fucking nut bag. Just a nut bag.
Well, everyone basically thinks
I'm a freak and a maniac basically.
There's a little truth... Always a little truth to that.
You always jump head first into everything.
It should be real easy, right?
Are you guys... I can hear that you guys are filming this.
- Are you filming this?
- Don't worry about that.
Why would you even care about that?
- Wait, wait...
- Camera crews aren't supposed to be
camera and you blindfolded...
I can smell that we're not in Beverly Hills.
I'm freaking out right now.
Wait, there's something wrong...
Okay, here, if you fall on the floor,
we're gonna help you up. All right?
- Right.
- I'm, like, freaking out.
Why the blindfold?
Just saw with this...
This is for...
[Chattering]
Because I...
So he surprises me
and takes me to this super rad art gallery show,
and it's filled with people
who have artwork,
like, I think over a hundred pieces
all of bill Murray.
And there's some people there with bill Murray tattoos.
He... bill Murray's songs,
like people whose whole,
like basically a whole structure of their life
is around bill Murray.
I'm meeting them, and I'm like, "whoa,
you're way to into bill Murray."
So it's pretty funny,
and I had this outrageous night
of just, like, celebrating
everything bill Murray stands for
and meeting kind of the coolest people
because what unifies everyone
is they're all really nice people
at the end of the day.
[Man] It's bringing people together
and, like, celebrating something
so blazingly awesome.
We see something in him, you know,
that reminds us of the deep down core of each one of us,
the humbleness.
Humor, his being, his essence...
It's... it's all about Murray.
He is his own person,
and he really does not care
what anybody at any level
you know, in Hollywood thinks of him.
He's just so genuine
in a way that most other people...
I mean, you meet a lot of nice people,
and you meet celebrities that are also nice.
But the way that he kind of has this,
I'm gonna do what I want,
I don't give a crap attitude,
but at the same time
he's, like, the nicest guy about it.
Bill Murray comes from another planet
in another galaxy,
and where we're from,
everybody has a lot of charisma.
We see him as a person who understands
that we... we have a journey to go through,
and let's all be nice and great to each other
and be ourselves,
and great things can come out of it.
It's something that's free,
like these jewels,
and we don't know what to do with it,
so we just give it away for free.
It was really cool,
and that kind of injected me with, like, yes,
I'm going for bill Murray, and I'm not alone in this
because I'm doing it for every single person
who wants a bill Murray experience.
It's not just for me. It's for everybody else
who wants to know what that would feel like.
Okay, fucking, you are in the band.
- Yes.
- Of the song...
What's it called? Yes. We are magnastic,
and we wrote a song for bill Murray.
It's just "the bill Murray song."
And it's dedicated to him. It's, you know,
a short classical love ballad
- of appreciation and...
- How's it go?
You know, usually I write some silly stuff,
but this was a deep, heartfelt, you know,
I wanted to... You want me to just sing it?
There is seldomly in life
there comes along a man
so naturally funny
that you just can't help but laugh
but there's one who stands alone
who's even funnier than that
and everything that he touches turns gold
everything that he touches turns gold
motherfucking bill Murray
you're the greatest person
that this earth has ever seen
motherfucking bill Murray
the wisest and most righteous human being
There's another verse and stuff, but I think...
- That's fucking brilliant.
- Thank you.
- It's fucking genius.
- It's a classical...
Some of it is I really had to talk to somebody
who had worked with bill Murray,
who had done stuff with bill Murray,
and I happened to have a lead to p.J. Soles.
And she was fucking awesome to me.
P.j. In city, take three.
I'm kind of nervous.
Okay, um,
so you did "stripes."
- Yes.
- Yes.
And this was a while ago.
Yes, 1981.
It was very fun.
Might've been '80. No, '81, I think, yes.
And what's so fun to me
is, so when you did that,
was that the first time you've ever met bill Murray?
That was the first time, absolutely.
In fact, I didn't even meet him for my screen test.
I did... I flew in after doing a movie in Texas.
They had me fly to fort Knox,
and I met with Harold ramis and Ivan reitman, and I...
Harold and I did a little, you know, video scene together,
and we were hysterically laughing,
and I didn't meet bill until day one of shooting with him.
And, I mean, I knew about him
because of "Saturday night live" and everything.
I'd heard about him.
And I remember thinking,
I have to...
Have to really stay, you know,
on his level
'cause I don't want him to get me
because I knew... I had heard
that, you know, he does improv
and he keeps you on your toes.
So I went n there
almost, like, fully loaded
knowing I had to be very equipped
because I didn't want him to beat me.
So I became very competitive on that set.
- Really?
- Yeah, so I don't know.
He was tough with me on the first day.
I was gonna say, was he competitive with you?
Yeah, he was.
You know, his job is to make himself look good
and have the funniest jokes,
and that's kind of how it went
with that first day,
but, you know, then he fell in love with me
- and he softened up.
- Ah...
'Cause you guys really do look like you had some chemistry.
I mean, the famous scene that went...
- By the stove.
- Right up on the stove,
what did they call it?
- Aunt jemima.
- Aunt jemima.
He puts you on the stove,
which who would put someone on the stove?
- And he takes it...
- By quarters.
But he takes the spatula
and slips it under your ass
but that was all, like, improved, right?
We were supposed to be watching fireworks.
It was raining. We had to move inside.
It was 3:00 A.M. there was a kitchen.
And we walked into the kitchen.
Bill opened up the refrigerator, took out the carrot,
and Ivan said, "bring the carrot in here"
because he knew bill was gonna have a plan,
and there wasn't a plan
except bill in his mind,
you know, that's how great he is at improv.
He took that carrot,
and he took off my gun,
went for the drawer,
and if there hadn't been a spatula in there,
there wouldn't have been...
You know, thank goodness there weren't knives...
What was he doing with the ice cream scoop?
I wanna know what was going on with the ice cream scoop.
- Something naughty, right?
- Mmm.
[Both laugh]
There's something going on with the ice cream scoop.
- Yeah, but it's great 'cause you don't see.
- Try it.
Were you turned on?
Um... bill and I had an interesting relationship.
I was... you know, at the time
I was married to Dennis quaid.
And bill would call me pretty much regularly
every morning at 3:00 am and say,
"please come to my room," to which I would say, "no."
[Laughs]
- That's awesome.
- It's been told now.
Was he doing it for serious?
I'm sure if I got in the car and went over there
we would've had a great time.
I think when you're playing a
lead role like that against you,
you find something about the person to be attracted to.
It was amazing because he... Physically
he doesn't look like a leading man
or somebody that you would
just, you know, fall for immediately,
because he's not the typical Brad Pitt look,
but he's got something in his eyes,
something about his wisdom.
You know, he pushes down that unicorn thing.
No. [Laughs]
See, that's the thing that I keep saying!
There's something magical...
I mean, you look like you're blushing a little bit.
Pj: He does have sex appeal.
I'm blushing because he has sex appeal,
and I'm blushing because
I think that that scene, I got him to really look at me
and for a moment on screen, which you don't usually see
in bill Murray movies, he's looking at me like he's tender,
and you never get to see that tender bill,
and you know, after I say "yes,"
after those little antics and everything,
and he says, you know, "you like me, you like me.
Come on, admit it, admit it,"
and I say "yes," and then we looked at each other,
he's got that little smile and it's, uh...
To me, aw, that was like an Oscar moment for me,
because I got bill Murray to
actually look tender and caring.
I would say that, you know, we
each had a crush on each other,
but you know, that wasn't... That wasn't...
It doesn't always have to be carried through.
In fact, if you leave it alone and let it happen on screen
it's more powerful.
Did you ever have any opportunities
to work on something else with bill Murray?
I could've done "splash."
After that, Brian grazer was
running on the parking lot of Columbia
and he had just seen the dailies from the kitchen sink,
and he caught me going to my car,
and he had the script and he said,
"can you read this? Can you read this?"
And I'm, "sure, sure," you know.
He told me a little bit about it.
He said, "if you could get bill Murray to read it,
the two of you would be so great in this movie."
I said, "I'm having lunch with him next week."
This was after we did the movie and he'd come to la
and we were gonna get together at
the hamburger Hamlet and have lunch.
And so I read it, I loved it.
I brought it to the restaurant,
and he said, "let me see it."
And he took it from me and he just flung it
across the whole of hamburger Hamlet in Burbank.
- That was his answer to us not doing "splash."
- Were you devastated?
I wasn't devastated, because, you know,
things happen for a reason, and luckily, you know,
I didn't do "splash." I mean, it was good
for Daryl Hannah and Tom Hanks.
That's crazy. I mean, it would've been so interesting
but then it, you know, it would've not been "splash,"
'cause "splash" was "splash."
- That's sad.
- Yeah, and Daryl did a great job.
She had great hair. [Laughs]
She has great hair. You have great hair.
This is not unusual. It's just,
social media is capturing it.
- Right.
- Fans, people, you know,
people that are not in the business
are getting to be part of his life if they come into it.
And I think... Like I said, he's living
the best version of himself,
and he's sort of... This is a role he's playing, almost.
- 'Cause now, the fans...
- You think so?
Well, the fans have defined who this bill Murray is.
- Right.
- This is the bill Murray "character."
- That's a...
- And he's the best version of himself,
so you have to be the best version of you.
- You know it's true?
- The idealized version of what you really would like
the world to always see you as.
So I meet with pj, and I'm a little bit on the fence
of like, "what am I gonna do with this?"
In some ways I was back where I started,
and I was starting to feel better about everything,
and the girls weren't around anymore,
but this had really become my story and everybody else's,
because I had started to bond
with a lot of other bill Murray nuts.
Well, now, everyone wanted a bill Murray experience.
Not only did everyone want a bill Murray experience,
but, like, people like Jennifer Lawrence
were saying that meeting bill Murray was, like,
the most magical moment of their life.
So there's a lot of me, like, riding around saying,
"I told you so! I told you so!"
I'm trying to taper it down,
and take pj's advice, and just...
Go back to where I started again,
which would be the Murray brothers golf tournament.
And Joel is so awesome
that he hooks me up.
I mean, he makes me pay. This is a charity event.
[Music playing]
She treats all the boys like candy
Okay, somewhere in my bill Murray story,
it has to include alligators.
Rawr.
Definitely. Alligators and little people.
He could probably not even say hi to me,
but that's not gonna happen.
[Growls]
[Laughs]
I try not to sound crazy,
but, like, I came all this way.
I just don't want him just to shake my hand
and be like, "nice to meet you."
I'll be like, "that's not a fucking experience!
Where's my bill Murray experience?"
And I don't want to be like that 'cause that's not nice.
But like, I don't want to be,
like, just in a group with him.
I want bill all to myself,
and I want to cuddle him and
hug him and... I'm just kidding.
I'm not, though.
Here's the thing.
I'm kind of watching his brother Joel's page,
which, I'm sorry, Joel,
but, because I want to see where Joel is
'cause I'm thinking that's where bill will be,
so I know Joel's in Chicago today, golfing.
He was just on "Mike and Molly."
So I'm... in a way, I'm becoming a Joel Murray super fan
but he's the coolest thing ever.
I mean, I don't want to say he could be cooler than bill,
but, you know, he's dope.
This is so beautiful, too!
Hi, how you doing? Nice to see you.
[Overlapping greetings]
Yeah, we gotta bring Joel balloons.
[Woman] Thank you, thank you.
- [Man] Get closer...
- 'Cause then I could say to Joel,
"I got something for you outside."
- [Man] Mm-hmm.
- This time they're for you.
Okay, so I was trying to come up with something clever
to help you get their attention.
It didn't come out quite the way I expected.
Oh, my god!
- This is so cool.
- I just put bill's face on a balloon for you.
But so I made these stencils last night,
and I was gonna spray paint the balloons last night, but...
Oh, that's so rad. If we could get some of these,
- this would be great.
- I was gonna try making three, but...
- Thank you so much. This is awesome.
- Yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
This is so cool.
Another celebration.
[Music playing]
There's some things that I wanted to say
but I waited here
ready for the day that you...
- Welcome, miss katz.
- Have you met bill Murray before?
- I met him last year.
- Really?
So it's very exciting.
Do you have any funny story about it?
I know that one time... I wasn't there,
but he did drive a golf cart into one of our...
Our little stands a couple
years ago, so it was kinda funny.
Oh, no. That's great.
- Was he in trouble for that?
- He was not in trouble.
I think he's allowed to do whatever he wants.
Yes, he has the... He has the
right to do whatever he wants.
- 'Cause he's bill Murray.
- 'Cause he's bill Murray.
- That's awesome, thank you. I'm so excited.
- You're welcome.
Now these only get us into the party.
We can't actually be on the
grounds of the golf course, right?
Correct, but we'll get you...
We'll have you talk to somebody
- to try to get you on there.
- Okay, cool.
For some reason, I really underestimated
how many people were going to be at the golf tournament.
I mean...
I think in my head it was like,
"oh, it's gonna be like 100 people under this big tent,"
and it was more like 1,000 people.
[Music playing]
And I was making friends with everyone.
Talk about a bunch of really nice people,
also who were partying and drunk off their ass,
'cause that's what you do at a golf tournament.
The second day, I decided to put on this unicorn wig.
That had a lot to do with the
fact that my hair was a disaster.
Well, I'm freaking out right now
because I don't know if I should wear
the wig or not
and I didn't bring the right clothes,
and this is like the...
This is my big day to meet bill,
and, like, now I feel stupid being here,
because walking in with the wig, like...
[Sighs]
This is why... It, like, hurts me a little bit right now
that my girlfriends aren't here,
because it would've been nice for them to chime in.
And last time I went to pebble beach,
I wore that pajama thing of the cheshire cat,
which I thought was really funny
but here's the stupid thing about it
that I'm freaking out about
is I had a bunch of girls with me.
It's easier to do stupid stuff, and I was stoned.
It's like I'm going to prom,
and I forgot to buy a prom dress.
That's exactly what it feels like.
You know, my idea behind it was
to meet the unicorn, you have to become the unicorn.
And I can't find my toothbrush.
And I mean...
There's a lot of dirty old men here, too.
And I mean, everyone's super nice,
but like, theres' not... The guy-to-girl ratio
is pretty gnarly.
So everyone has to talk to me,
and it feels disingenuine,
because, I'm like, "I'm here for bill.
I'm here for bill."
I haven't even met bill,
and I don't even know him.
I guess I'm not golfing.
It's just surprising 'cause I'm so good.
[Music playing]
I bet I could be a good caddy.
Are there a lot of female caddies?
[Man] No, there should be more.
There should be more, right? Like, hottie caddies?
[Man] Do you like woods, irons, or putters?
Woods.
Bill Murray is behind me.
The eagle has landed. Boom.
To find the unicorn, you must become the unicorn.
I'm holding bill Murray in my hand.
I don't know what's gonna happen, though,
because I feel like he's golfing,
and I don't know... Like, maybe
this is just an initial meeting, but...
It's close now. Like, I got this close before, though,
when I was on "rock the kasbah" set,
and it was... It didn't work out.
Bill!
- [Calling out indistinctly]
- [Bill laughing]
I'm looking for you!
You're my boy!
[Grunts]
Okay, first of all, just saw bill,
said, "are you gonna party with the unicorn?"
And he said, "yes."
Okay, this is happening. It's totally happening,
and you know what's weird? I don't feel nervous anymore.
I feel like I belong.
I need a dress for bill Murray!
The final, you know, night of the vip party,
bill is supposed to come,
and I hear a rumor that he's gonna sing,
and a whole hell of a lot of money has been raised
so everyone's in pretty good spirit.
I hear that bill is definitely in the tent, and he is.
I've got 100 balloons for him and 100 for Joel.
That means I now have 200 balloons.
This is a lot of balloons to be carrying around,
and it's attracting a lot of attention,
and I'm in my unicorn wig.
So now everyone wants to take a
picture with me in the unicorn wig
and 200 balloons, and they also want a balloon.
And I go up to give Joel the balloons,
and he's having a ball with the balloons.
He's passing them out to everyone.
You know, giving them out to all
the pretty girls and all the goofy guys
and everyone's really enjoying the balloons,
and security is kind of getting pissed
because they don't want me to
bring the balloons into the tent,
'cause it's like a fire hazard.
And at the same time, I'm having, like, this weird pressure
of, like, "well, I came this far"
to do something and... and...
Like, Joel kinda says, "after
the show, you should just run up...
You know, after bill sings, you should just run up on stage
and give him the balloons."
There's people everywhere.
I mean, this place is just jam-packed.
It's very noisy and it's really exciting,
and there's a lot of energy 'cause
they're waiting for bill to get on the stage.
And...
I start to realize as I'm analyzing it
and figuring out, like, "do I go up to bill?
Is it around police officers?"
And I'm like, "he's about to get on the stage,"
and I'm like, "he's about to get on the stage.
Bill Murray is gonna sing right there."
[Crowd cheering]
[Bill Murray] How about this
band? Can we hear it for this band?
We're just here... I'm just here tonight for tax purposes.
I can only spend 18 hours here.
But we're gonna sing a couple songs that we always do.
You know, he walks on that stage,
and he transforms himself into rock star bill Murray.
And he's a rock star.
- [Cheers, applause]
- [Music playing]
I came here to see bill Murray,
and that's enough.
I'm surrounded by all these
people who are here for charity,
and who all are full of love and friendship.
Like a...
A bill Murray experience
as much as I wanted it to...
I couldn't force that to happen,
and I had spent over a year of my life
running around trying to force
that to happen, but, you know,
no one else, when they told me their stories,
had said that they went up to bill Murray first.
Bill Murray happened to them.
That's a true bill Murray experience.
It's an unplanned encounter.
And...
I realized that I wasn't going to be able to force
this bill Murray experience to happen.
The search for the bill Murray experience
was the bill Murray experience,
but truthfully...
I wasn't going to get my individual, you know,
magical experience by forcing it to happen,
and that's okay.
Magic happens when you're...
Not necessarily looking for it.
It just finds you.
And it found me all...
All throughout doing this in little times.
I was just so busy
looking for this major thing that
I was missing all the little things,
so much so that I was, um...
Ruining the whole ride.
That was supposed to be fun,
and in a way I had to, like, release that.
[Music continues]
But... I'm still open to having a bill Murray experience.
And I'll... I'm still here.
I'm waiting. [Laughs]
And then I'll say, "no one will ever believe me."
In Manhattan beach, California,
writer Sadie katz was at a crossroads in her life
and needed a little distraction.
After staying up late on the computer
and reading stories about others having
magical chance encounters with their favorite actor,
she decided she too needed to meet
her favorite actor and life guru, bill Murray.
She chased the actor around with 100 balloons,
and she lost a few friends in the process,
maybe a little of her hearing,
but she never lost her heart.
What she gained was a much-needed reminder
that the journey was just as important as the destination,
and of course, that truly was
her very own bill Murray experience.
[Music playing]