The Bob's Burgers Movie (2022) Movie Script

LINDA: Well, that's
the first time
an exterminator said
he's gonna pray for us.
That's okay, right?
That's not a bad sign.
No. Whatcha doin', Gene?
I'm making an instrument
out of spoons,
and a napkin holder,
and dreams, and magic.
Obviously, Tina.
How's the burger, Bob?
BOB: It's okay. I
put an egg on it.
Why is Dad making a
burger at 8:00 a.m.?
Is he on British time?
He's making it to bring to
Mr. Dowling at the bank.
We have a meeting this morning
and we're gonna ask
for an extension
on our loan payment.
Oh, fun.
And we really, really need
to get that extension.
All the restaurant equipment
is wrapped up in that loan.
So, you're giving him a burger?
Well, I mean, we can't
give him money, Tina.
'Cause we don't have
any? Pretty much.
How about you play
him some of this?
(RATTLING) What, to scare him?
No. To enchant him.
Bob, you know I love this
"bring him a burger" idea,
but isn't it a little
early to be making it?
I mean, our appointment
isn't for a while.
a practice burger.
are you whispering?
I don't want it to
hear and feel bad.
Wait, I'm a what?
What? You're great. (SHUSHES)
Mmm, that feels nice.
I know. I know.
rub my sesame seeds off.
won't. Don't worry.
They're a cute couple.
Eh, I give 'em a year.
I'm gonna make another
practice burger.
And I'm gonna try
not to think too much
about how much is
riding on today.
Maybe I should put
two eggs on it.
Hey! This could be
your burger of the day!
You can call it your,
"Keep Your Sunny Side Up
"and Your Cloudy Side Down,
"Stay Positive, Bobby,
"Things Are Gonna
Be Okay Burger."
Right? BOB: It's
a little long.
How about "Mr. Greasy"?
Well, better get going.
Only one more week of school
and then I'm Summer Tina.
And big things are
comin' for Summer Tina.
Big things like that heat
rash you get sometimes?
Summer Louise might be
making some moves that
are pretty big, too.
Maybe. I don't know.
Don't worry about it, all right?
TINA: Fine. Sorry.
Summer Gene's gonna
be topless 24/7
and doin' a lot of
this. (RATTLING)
LOUISE: Oh, great.
Bye, my babies.
Watch out for the
messed up sidewalk!
TINA: Thank you!
BOB: Every day
we come downstairs
Unlock the door
And turn the sign to open
Is another day I give
myself a little diarrhea
From the worry
and the stressin'
And the hopin'
But I won't think about
But you shouldn't think about
Those fears now
Mr. Dowling at the bank
is gonna say, "Oh, wow"
When he tastes our
burgers, tastes our fries
He'll probably
give us a high-five
Extend our loan,
throw us a bone
And tell us we are
In the zone Yeah!
Send us on our
merry way Mm-hmm.
Hey, have yourselves
a pleasant day
BOTH: We'll come back
here, we'll go berserk
We'll hug and kiss
And get to work
Oh, Bobby, I like
what I'm hearin'
Diarrhea's fine,
but no sense fearin'
I mean. Uh!
When you have that just
un-stop-timistic spirit
It's gonna be
the sunny side up
Summer of our lives
Every time I see him
Oh, my heart, it does
a crazy little dance
Something like, eh, eh, eh.
Looks good.
And I want for
him to kiss me
And then walk
away so I can see
What's shakin' in the
backside of his pants
I think that this
is real, what I feel
And if he could feel it too
Well then that would be ideal
So I wanna make
this thing legit
I'm gonna put
a ring on it Ooh.
But not a ring
'cause that's cray-cray
I mean, we're
only in eighth grade
I'll do the thing
eighth graders do
When you like-like
me and I like-like you
Put something
special on a chain
And give it to
him and explain
I'd like for you to
be my summer boyfriend
You'll say yes
and then to seal it
Shake your rear end
And it's gonna
be the sunny side up
Summer of my life
Each and every
day I want to sing
I want to play
Play this napkiny
thing, I made it
And it's gonna revolutionize
American pop music
Each and every day
I just think
I'm pretty great
Yep, that's
right No big deal
I'm not hiding what I feel
About some
things On my mind
And if they're
holding me behind
Keeping me feeling small
Though they
actually make me tall
Hope they don't hear
me talkin' about them
Don't know what
I am without them
But this summer I might see
But this summer we might see
Just who I turn out to be
Just what we turned out to be
And it's gonna
be the sunny side up
Summer of our lives
Guess we're gonna go for it
Feels kinda scary, I'll admit
It will be great,
it's gonna work
We'll hug and
kiss and go berserk
I'll take a chance,
don't second guess
We're doing great if
he just answers yes
No. BOTH: Huh?
I'm sorry. Extension
denied. BOB: Huh?
You have seven days
to make your payment
or we'll repossess your
restaurant equipment.
Seven days?
Possess our equipment?
Like, haunt it?
I brought you a burger.
Oh, no thanks.
I'm trying to eat
less meat. Oh, my God.
I'm going to close out the file.
And, uh, your
faces are making me
so if you could go?
Oh, my face?
And can you take
the, um... hmm?
There's fries in there.
You want the fries?
Typing till you're gone.
Typing till you're gone.
And that is the breakthrough
we've been looking for.
It hurts my teeth
somehow. Also who's "we"?
The band! Our underappreciated
but highly influential band,
the Itty Bitty Ditty Committee?
That we're in with my sisters.
And recorder bad
boy, Peter Pescadero.
Oh, right. We were in a band.
And we went with that name?
Yes! And we were just waiting
to discover our sound,
and I'm sure you agree
that I've found it.
ZEKE: I'm gonna get ya!
I'm gonna get ya! Come on.
JIMMY JR.: Zeke. Ow.
Too hard! Aah! Sorry!
Sorry! Sorry! (GRUNTS)
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna walk
right over there
and I'm gonna do it.
I'm not gonna do it.
I am gonna do it. Here I go.
Nope. Going back over
here. Can't do it.
Yes, I can. Yes, I can.
Zeke. Ow! Zeke. Ow!
Ow, Zeke. My penis area!
Nope. Not the right time.
Stand down, soldier.
Ready? Go!
Louise! Come do a
dead man's drop.
Ooh, that's over there
and I'm over here.
But thank you. She's scared.
(SCOFFS) No. I'm not.
I mean, I'm scared of how
comfortable I am. Over here.
She's afraid her
hat will fall off.
(SCOFFING) You're afraid
my hat will fall off.
So gotcha!
Good one. I mean, kinda.
I don't know why she
still wears that thing.
It's like she's five.
Baby. (ALL GASP)
What'd you say? Did you
just use the B-word?
Uh, I'm pretty sure
she said, "lady."
I heard "rabies."
I'll show you rabies.
TINA: Easy. Easy.
What's going on over
here? A little conflict?
BOB: Stupid bank.
Sunny side up.
More like crappy side up.
It's gonna be okay, Bob. Bob?
Do you think he remembers
I ordered a burger?
Your sidewalk's getting worse.
Uh-huh. I saw someone trip.
Hey, how are you
guys gonna celebrate
getting that loan extension?
Should I get some T-shirts
made? I'd wear one.
We didn't get the
extension, Teddy.
What? But you made a burger!
He's eating less meat,
Teddy! Okay! Jeez.
He's eating less meat.
Bob, calm down.
Seven days. We can do this.
All we have to do is
sell enough burgers
in seven days to pay
the bank, which is...
BOB: A lot.
Eh, well, that's not that
much, right? We can do it.
Hey, there's gonna
be more business
down at the Wonder Wharf
'cause of the
Oh, yeah, the
More foot traffic.
Uh, yeah. That's true.
And feet have mouths.
Mouths that we could put
burgers in. Right, Bob?
Yeah. Feet have mouths.
(LAUGHS) Feet mouths.
There he is. See?
Doesn't it feel good
to be a little hopeful?
Instead of being
scary and shouty.
And making people feel nervous
to ask about their order.
Yeah, it does a little bit.
It's gonna be
the sunny side up
Come on!
BOTH: Summer of our lives
Huh? Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh, my God.
LINDA: It's not so bad.
LOUISE: Especially if
you're into huge sinkholes.
I mean, you can't
get in the door.
Customers need that, usually,
to be able to get
into the restaurant.
LINDA: Oh, hey, Mr. Dowling.
Don't worry about this at
all. We're doing great!
Seven days! (CHUCKLES)
He's shaking his head,
but that's probably
just 'cause he's got
a bug on his face.
Landlord coming through!
Wealthy landlord coming through.
That's a big hole, Bob.
What'd you do? What?
I agree. This is in no way
caused by old and
leaky outflow pipes
that the landlord
of this property
should have replaced years ago.
Good point, sir.
Is this important?
Calvin, we were right in
the middle of flyering
for Wonder Wharf
and champumping.
How long do you
think this'll take
to fill in, Mr. Fischoeder?
Well, let's see,
what year is it now?
Oh, my God. He's
kidding. (CHUCKLES)
You're kidding, right?
Yes. Let's say yes.
I'm putting you in
charge of this, Felix.
You're my ne'er-do-well brother
who no one believes in,
but maybe filling
holes is your thing.
And you just need
a chance to shine.
Grover, I'm delegating
this to you,
since you're our something.
Lawyer. And
cousin. Right. Ugh.
Anyway, the city will
take care of this.
Probably done
soon-ish? Or sooner!
See, Bob? Our hole's
getting filled.
GENE: If I had a
nickel... Gene.
Shall we champump
our way out of here?
Finish passing out these flyers?
I'm exhausted. (SLURPING)
"Eighty years of cheap thrills
and almost no decapitations."
Wow, that's such a low amount.
I know. Can you believe it?
She's lasted 80 years
without getting sued
out of existence
or collapsing into the sea.
LOUISE: That's what
we say about Dad.
BOB: Louise. My dad
left all this to me,
the pier, all these buildings.
I still can't tell
if it was a joke.
(COUGHS) Should've been me.
Oh, well, that
would've been funny.
This says you're
gonna have live music
at the "newly half
renovated bandshell."
Yes. We've got that
accordion group,
Accordinary People.
Everybody loves them.
We've got Johnny Jazz Hands.
He does something with his hands
that I don't want
to spoil. Thank you.
And our band, the Itty
Bitty Ditty Committee!
Ha! Oh. You're serious. I'm
gonna step away from you.
All right, fellas. Let's
not be here anymore.
Bye, burger people. See
you when the rent's due.
(SCATTING) Put it in my mouth.
(SIGHS) Rent. Oh, rent.
Mr. Fischoeder.
We need your help!
CALVIN: Mm... Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
No, yeah, yeah. Oh, my.
The bank's being kinda cranky
about our business loan.
So, can we not pay you
rent for a little bit?
So we can pay the bank?
You want to not pay me rent?
Am I understanding your
ridiculous question?
Just for this month.
FELIX: Mm-mm, mm-mm. Mm.
Mm-mm. Mm.
I agree with Felix.
Well, I am of two minds,
and by that, I mean, drunk.
So, I'm going to say
maybe. FELIX: Hmm.
Oh, hush. Drive on!
drivin g on the sidewalk
Ha! Why "Ha"?
'Cause we don't
have to pay rent.
That'll help us with the bank.
He said, "maybe."
Yeah, but he winked
when he said it.
He's only got one eye.
How do you know
it wasn't a blink?
I can tell.
Hi, Jimmy Jr. Hi, Tina.
This is cool. It's so deep.
It's like at any moment
the Earth can just
swallow us up.
ANDY: 'Cause it
loves us so much.
OLLIE: Mr. Belcher, do you
have a backup restaurant,
in case the Earth gets this one?
BOB: Um, no. OLLIE: Oh.
Louise, get away from the hole.
Get away from
the hole. Please!
All right, I'm going upstairs
to go to the bathroom,
and they said we
won't be able to flush
while they're fixing
the water pipe,
so, last one to go,
I hope you had your shots,
'cause it's gonna
get intense in there.
TINA: I wanna go first.
Or at least not last.
GENE: I wanna go last. I
wanna be the cherry on top!
Stop staring at that hole,
Hole and Oates. Come to bed!
No one came in today. I know.
And now we have six days
to pay the bank. Yep.
(SIGHS) And Mr. Fischoeder
didn't call us back
about the rent.
We still don't know what
kind of "maybe" that was.
Ninety percent of
"maybes" are yeses.
Definitely not true.
We've said "maybe" to
being in Teddy's book club
so many times.
Well, they fixed the
pipe, that's good, right?
And it's a pretty blue plastic.
So modern. We're hip now. Hmm.
Hey, Mr. Mopey,
what was that thing you told
me your mother used to say?
I don't know. "Something
stinks in here"?
No. It was like,
"Hope and grit
"keeps you out of
the you-know-what."
Oh, yeah. She did say that.
I think she thought
that was very edgy.
Well, it's true, too. Mm.
Come on. Come to bed.
Tomorrow, the hole
will get all filled up,
and we'll sell a
million burgers.
And you'll be able to make
facial expressions again, huh?
Mm. Happy.
Mm. Hopeful.
Mm. Kissy lips.
(MUFFLED) Stop, please.
Closed eyes, piggy nose! Lin.
"I love Linda!" Mm.
Aw, I love you too,
Bobby! Okay, bed!
lights out soon, okay?
We're good parents.
TINA: Tina rode
Jericho down the beach,
Jimmy Jr. rode his
horse, Vericho.
Vericho... S'vane.
From Spain...
(LAUGHING) Too slow.
JERICHO: I'm running.
I'm running. I'm running.
If you want to catch us
you'll have to take off
those bulky jeans, uh,
to be more aerodynamic.
Oh, you're doing
it already. Great!
You're right. I'm faster when
I'm just wearing underwear.
TINA: They galloped
along the endless sand,
side by side.
This is a perfect day.
All my favorite
stuff in one place.
You, my main horse, Jericho.
If only there were...
Oh, there they are.
Hi, sexy zombies.
ZOMBIES: Hi, Tina!
Damn. Oh. Hey, I have
something for you.
Oh, yeah? Is that
what I think it is?
My barrette-clace.
It's a combination of
barrette and necklace.
Gosh, I'm so nervous.
I shouldn't be nervous
in my own fantasy.
This is a fantasy?
Don't worry about that.
Forget I said anything.
Uh, I was wondering
why I was so good
at horsetop riding. Horseback.
What? Nothing.
Wait, let's stop. Let's stop.
Whoa, whoa, Jericho.
I hate stopping.
So, why are you nervous
in your own fantasy?
Is it because you're having
some doubts about real me,
Summer Boyfriend-wise?
Doubts, what?
I'm sensing some doubts.
Hey, how about
you have a fantasy
and you can ask a lot of
questions in that, huh?
Don't ruin this,
Fantasy Jimmy Jr.
You're ruining it.
You're making me
say these things.
I am not. Did you
lose your jeans
or your mind? Right?
Okay, take it easy. Ow! Ahh!
You take it easy,
okay? Tina, calm down.
What's happening? What's
happening, right now?
This is fun. We're having
fun on the friggin' beach.
Son of a butt!
(RATTLING) Mm-mm-mm!
That sounds good.
Dad's been using this
restaurant stuff all wrong.
Thank you!
We are the Itty Bitty
Ditty Committee!
Hey, Ken! You made it!
I thought you were at a
conference in Houston.
Okay, I'll talk to you later.
Do you guys wanna
hear one more song?
(RUMBLING) What the...
ROBOT: Stop. What?
Stop playing. Why?
We can hear you from our planet
and it makes our teeth hurt.
GENE: You have teeth?
ROBOT: Yeah, I think so.
How about you go get some
different instruments
and maybe figure
out if music is,
I don't know, your thing?
But everyone loves us.
ROBOT: No, they
were being nice.
See? They left. GENE: Oh.
ROBOT: So, this is
getting awkward.
Look, I'm not saying
we'll destroy your planet,
but it's not, like,
off the table,
if you play one more
note on that thing.
Um... Bye.
So, thank you for coming.
I know you all have
busy schedules.
Dodomeki, Bakaneko, Okoro Kamui,
unlicensed Burobu plushie,
Kuchi Kopi, melted Kuchi...
We are happy to
be here. Kiss ass.
What's that? You heard me.
LOUISE: Fellas, please.
I've got a situation.
At school. Chloe Barbash
called me a baby.
What do we do? Ideas. Go.
Shoot her out of a cannon?
Uh, karate chop her in half?
Find a shark and
throw it at her?
These are just off
the top of my head.
I don't know if anyone
else is going to jump in?
Okay, we have cannon,
karate, shark. What else?
Why did she call you a baby?
It was the dead
man's drop thing.
I didn't wanna do it.
I was worried all my loose
change would fall out.
All right, fine. It's also
because of my hat. My ears.
I don't know if you
guys have noticed,
but I, like, wear them a lot.
Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, now
that you mention it.
Some people think,
Chloe thinks that I'm
scared to not wear them.
Which is crazy. Totally.
And why's she dropping
these B-bombs on me
like it's nothing?
It's offensive. To,
you know, babies.
I mean, you are talking
to your toys right now.
Is this a bad time
to bring that up?
LOUISE: Uh, you're
Damaged collectibles,
some of you,
who are lucky to
still be in the mix.
Yep. Right, yep. Got it.
How are these baby-ish?
I mean, yeah, I've had
them since preschool,
and sure, I was thinking about
maybe not wearing
them anymore...
Wait, back up.
Did you say you've had
them since preschool?
Yes. You don't know the story?
Is it long? Shush! Tell us.
My parents gave me these,
because it was the
first day of preschool
and I guess I was
scared or something,
and my mom made them,
and they gave them to me
so I would be brave.
So, what I'm
hearing is your head
has not grown since preschool.
Hey, some people's
heads just start out
the perfect size and
stay that way, okay?
Guys, we're supposed to be
coming up with ideas here.
How do I step to Chloe,
get my rep back, and
just generally bring it?
Oh, oh, oh! Melted night
light idea light bulb.
Just say it.
You go in the hole.
The hole in front
of the restaurant?
Yeah, yeah! Get
video. Get it on tape.
You down in that scary hole.
Doing your thing. Interesting.
You know what they say,
babies come out of hol es,
they don't go into them.
Do they say that?
They do. All the time.
I've never heard it. Anyway,
there's your dead
man's drop, Louise.
You drop into the abyss.
That sounded cool. Admit it.
breath's not cool.
please. I brushed.
TINA: So, I'm supposed
to videotape you
climbing down into the hole
so you can show kids at school?
Yeah. 'Cause babies
don't go into holes,
they come out of them.
Okay, you have to
stop saying that.
And what am I
supposed to do again?
You say, "Louise, don't go
down there. It's dangerous."
And then, when I go
anyway, you gasp.
Like this? (GASPS)
No, do it better.
Can I say, "Honey, no"?
How about, (DRAWLS) "What?"
Just the line and then the
gasp is great. Thank you.
All those in favor of doing
this tomorrow morning?
Gene, I see your
hand's almost up.
No! Mom and Dad would try and
stop me. It has to be now.
Roll tape. Okay.
(SIGHS) It's not that scary.
You're just all in
your head right now.
Get out of your head.
Big girl, pajama
pants. Come on!
don't go down there.
It's dangerous!
Louise, don't go down
there. It's dangerous!
Louise, don't go down
there. It's dangerous!
I think we got it.
That last one was good.
I can't.
Oh, not what I was expecting.
Yeah, well, let's just for
get I even brought it up...
(GRUNTS) Louise, are you okay?
(SIGHS) Yes!
Did you mean to wave your arms
all over the place while
falling into the hole?
'Cause if so, you nailed it.
Yes, it all went great.
Can you toss me the light?
Here. LOUISE: Ow.
Did you say, "ow"
'cause you caught it?
Great! Argh!
So, is that a wrap?
Yep. Yeah, I think we're good.
Wanna go ahead and help me out?
I'll grab the rope and try to
climb up and you guys pull.
With our arms? Okay.
Tell us when.
LOUISE: Okay, yeah,
just trying to...
Stupid mud, I hate you.
Stay on, frickin' light.
Okay, pull. (GRUNTS)
Ugh. Hold on. My foot's stuck.
My foot's stuck. That's
not at all terrifying.
Everything's gonna be fine.
What the...
(DRAWLING) So, how's our girl?
BOB: Now it's a crime scene.
Great, great, great, great.
TINA: That's the spirit, Dad!
Oh, my baby. My sweet baby.
Enough, Mom! I'm okay.
Take it easy with
the baby stuff.
Sorry, sorry. Oh, come here.
My baby. Mom!
I know someone's dead
and their bones
fell on your face.
In my mouth! In my mouth!
Let's just be clear.
I tasted death.
I'm sorry you tasted death,
Louise, but this is bad.
I don't think they fill in
crime holes very quickly.
Crime hole. Gene.
Oh, yeah, they're really slow.
Oh, hey, Sergeant Bosco.
Yeah, they brush the dirt
away with tiny little tools.
And their lunch
break takes forever,
'cause they use tiny forks.
I'm kidding about
the forks thing,
but yeah, it's
gonna take a while.
Aw, nuts. (BOB SIGHS)
You know, they found a
bullet lodged in the ribs.
And I don't think he fell on it,
if you know what I mean.
So, it's in front of your
restaurant, did you do it?
What? No!
Okay, easy. Just checking.
You sure? Yes, I'm sure.
I don't know. One time I
saw him crumple a receipt
in a way that made
me uncomfortable.
So much rage! Gene.
Crime hole! Crime hole!
Tina. Sorry.
Well, I'm gonna split.
Back to Robbery
Division, which is just
as good as Homicide,
maybe better.
Everyone says that.
Sometimes Homicide begs for
help from us Robbery guys.
Hey! Get out of here!
Get out of here, go!
All right, kids, you gotta
get out of here, too.
Go to school and don't go in
any more holes, you hear me?
And stay away from crevices.
Oh, my sweet baby.
Come here, come here!
ANDY: You love me.
OLLIE: And you love me.
ANDY: And you love me.
OLLIE: And you love me.
ANDY: Time for us
to get married.
I do! I do! I do!
What are you looking at
there? A fun rock? (GASPS)
Louise, that's evidence!
You should have given
that to the police!
What? Tooth-ifer? No, no, no.
This is mine. I earned it.
When you go into a hole...
Accidently fall into
a hole. A-bup-bup!
Gracefully tumble
in while screaming?
Go into a hole,
you get to keep whatever lands
in your mouth. That's a rule.
That's true under
the bleachers, too!
Plus, look at it.
Isn't it the weirdest shaped
tooth you've ever seen?
Okay, maybe not
too close. (GAGS)
You can't handle the tooth!
It was in my mouth, Tina!
It's just, I think it's, like,
against the law for
you to have that.
Don't worry. It's
just a souvenir.
I'll keep it to myself.
Check it, people.
A dead man's tooth. (ALL GASP)
And she's showing
the whole school.
I went down to the
sinkhole at night,
found a skeleton, this
tooth fell in my mouth.
Did somebody say that's badass?
Like the ultimate
dead man's drop?
I mean, I guess,
maybe, I don't know.
It was very dramatic,
and we got it all on tape. Oh!
But we gotta get it
transferred to a format
that anyone else
in the world has.
I think my dad h as
that kinda player.
This just looks like that kind.
Oh, my God, Eli put his retainer
on a chain and gave it to you?
So romantic.
Yeah, we're gonna be summer
JOCELYN: Wait, but
doesn't he, like, need it?
TAMMY: What are you, a doctor?
JOCELYN: I don't know.
TAMMY: Where's your pager?
Hmm, maybe this is a good
time to bring this baby out.
Cafeteria, pretty
magical setting.
Just gotta untangle
it a little bit,
and then it's time for
that special moment.
JIMMY JR.: Hey, Zeke, throw
a chicken nugget in my mouth.
Ow. Throw it again.
Ow. Throw it again.
God, he's still trying to catch
that chicken nugget
in his mouth.
His whole eighth grade year.
Ow. Throw it again. Should
we just not do this?
No, I wanna be able to say
I caught a chicken
nug get in my mouth.
More than anything.
Otherwise, this has
all been a waste.
I see your point.
We'll get you there.
(SIGHS) Maybe now's not right.
He's got a lot going on.
But still excited
about this. Whoo-hoo.
And that's why I'm starting
my foundation, Sinkhole Kids.
It's to help kids who've
been in sinkholes.
It changes you. Some
people can't handle it.
Fourth graders, why are
you not sitting down?
Or are you sitting?
It's hard to tell.
You're all so small.
Hey! Oh, Louise,
I have been meaning to ask you,
where'd you get your hat?
I want to get one like
that for my niece.
She's three and
she loves bunnies.
Back off, Labonz.
What? I'm trying
to cheer her up.
Potty training's not going well.
(LOUISE GRUNTS) It's nasty.
Oh, hello, Louise.
Did you have a nice,
nutritious meal?
Stupid Chloe Barbash,
laughing. I'll laugh at her.
She's not gonna laugh at me.
What? Nothing.
Okay, uh, call me
back. Thank you. Bye.
So, how many times is it okay
to call your landlord
and leave a message?
Depends. Does he
like-like you?
I still can't believe
we were livin'
above a dead body
this whole time.
I couldn't even tell.
I wonder who the skeleton was.
George Washington?
I can't think of any
other dead people.
Well, whoever it was, they
were murdered to death,
then buried to death
by a murderer-burier.
And a Scorpio, probably.
I'm gonna call
him one more time.
Easy, Bob, easy.
Lin, we have to pay the bank.
You shout that a lot now.
We only have four days left.
There's no way we can pay rent
and come up with
the bank's money.
We haven't sold any burgers.
Teddy's had a lot of burgers.
Right. We haven't
sold any burgers
to someone besides Teddy.
Oh, my God. Look it. They're
talking about our hole.
The skeleton discovered
earlier this morning
under Ocean Avenue
has been identified
as missing Wonder Wharf
employee, Daniel DeAngelo,
widely known to park
customers as Cotton Candy Dan.
Cotton Candy Dan?
Is that the guy
who sold corndogs?
Mom, shush.
Police sources tell
Channel Six news
that a suspect is being
taken into custody tonight.
A-ha! There you go.
They have a suspect.
Now they'll un-crime scene
our hole and fill it in.
And Mr. Fischoeder
will call us back too,
and he'll tell us we
can slide on the rent,
and we'll be on easy street.
If easy street had a
big hole in it, huh?
(SIGHS) Maybe you're right.
Sorry. Sorry, I
was freaking out.
Sorry, everybody.
Something's just come in.
This is breaking news.
Wonder Wharf owner,
Calvin Fischoeder,
has been arrested
and charged with the murder
of Cotton Candy
What the... Oh, my God.
Okay, that's not good.
We now go live to
police headquarters.
REPORTER: Mr. Fischoeder,
do you have
any comments for
us at this time?
I haven't killed any carnies.
There. I think that
clears everything up.
I refer all further questions
to my personal attorney
and personal cousin,
Grover Fischoeder.
My client is innocent
and we're gonna prove it.
Yeah, sure, a bullet
from my brother's gun
was found in the guy's body.
FELIX: And sure, a lot of
people heard him yelling,
"I'm going to kill you, carnie,
"and I'm going to bury your body
"where no one can
find it." Sure.
GROVER: Uh... Yeah.
But who among us
hasn't said those exact words
while gambling with carnies
on a stormy night, huh?
Uh, no one. We've
all said those words.
(SIGHS) Maybe we'll
be his one phone call?
Oh, the weather.
TEDDY: Hey, Wharfiversary
stuff's still going on.
I heard they're doing
half-priced rides
and free popcorn.
Yeah, kinda busy out there.
TEDDY: Hmm, people do not
seem to mind going to a park
owned by a murderer.
LINDA: If only we could
get to the people.
Why can't restaurants
move around, you know?
Just hop over the hole. Huh.
Why can't buildings
have little legs?
That'd be cute. Yeah.
Or motors, and wheels?
That's cars.
Oh, yeah. That's cars.
Oh, no.
Oh, boy. Is Dad okay?
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no. LINDA: Um...
Dad, I don't wanna
stop your flow,
but can you pass the pilaf?
Oh, God. That's butter.
You know what?
Butter's better.
How you doin' there, big guy?
(SIGHS) I don't know.
I mean, I held it together
in front of the
kids during dinner,
but I'm really worried.
Oh, yeah? I couldn't tell.
It's just our landlord's
gonna go to prison.
The bank's gonna
call in our loan,
and then they'll take
our restaurant stuff,
and we will live in
a box on the street.
This is what's gonna happen.
Oh, Bob, I need you.
The kids need you.
What do you mean? You
and the kids need me
to not go out of business.
No. Going out of business
down there is not as bad
as going out of
business in there.
My soft pec?
No, your heart.
Look, I know you're
Droopy Bob right now.
But you know who else
is in there? Dreamy Bob.
The guy who wanted
to open a restaurant
in the first place,
slap his name on it,
make cuckoo crazy burgers
with wild ingredients.
A new one every day.
I did not say "cuckoo
crazy" burgers.
I would not say that.
You know what I mean.
Super funky burgers.
Well, no matter what I said,
I think that may be
Dreamy Bob is dumb
and Droopy Bob just kinda
sees things the way they are.
You know what you
gotta do to Droopy Bob?
Um, what?
You gotta punch him in
the nuts, like this.
Ow! Sorry, sorry, sorry.
But you know what I'm
saying. It's like a metaphor.
Like this. Ow!
Stop! It's not a metaphor
if you actually do it.
Yes, it is.
I'm going to
sleep. Good night.
And, hey, who knows,
maybe Mr. Fischoeder
is innocent.
He gets out, we put
that wink in the bank.
I don't know if he's innocent,
but he is going to prison.
Well, at least the
other prisoners
will like his eyepatch.
That's a good look for prison.
You know, conversation starter.
Bye, kids. Have fun at school.
Gene, I hope we do okay
on that math homework.
I was really wingin' it. Four.
I hope so too. Good guess.
All right. Emergency
kid meeting.
What? Now? Here?
Yeah, we gotta talk.
Outdoor, before school,
emergency kid meeting?
Is this about
whatever's going on
with Tina's bangs right now?
I've been wanting to
fix them all morning.
Wait, what?
LOUISE: No, listen.
I heard Mom and Dad
talking last night.
The restaurant is
in big trouble.
Boy trouble? Girl
trouble? All the trouble.
Mr. Fischoeder
can't go to prison.
If he does, Mom and
Dad won't be able
to pay the bank,
and then that's it.
No more restaurant.
And what are we gonna do
with Mom and Dad after school
if there's no more restaurant?
Huh. Sign them up for sports?
But the good news is,
I think Mr. Fischoeder
is innocent.
Innocent? But what
about how guilty he is?
Well, why was he so
relaxed about that hole?
If you had buried a
guy in that exact spot,
wouldn't you be a little
more anxious to fill it in?
Or at least go sneak
that sucker out of there
and stick them somewhere else?
Like how you re-hide
your journal every night?
No, I don't.
So, here's the plan.
We need to skip school...
No. Yes.
We need to gather evidence,
talk to witnesses.
We need to start now.
But, Louise, if you don't think
Mr. Fischoeder
did it, who did?
Here's what I'm thinking.
This was actually a beef
between two carnies.
Beef con carnie.
LOUISE: Mm-hmm.
You get your hands
on Fischoeder's gun,
you settle your score
with Cotton Candy Dan,
you just got away with murder.
So, what do we do
with that theory?
Turn it into a graphic novel.
LOUISE: No, we go talk
to our old pal Mickey.
He's a carnie now.
He probably knows all
the carnie gossip.
And I brought all
the gear we'll need.
Snacks, gum, night light.
Oh, snacks. I'm in.
Night light? Yeah.
In case it gets dark.
I thought we were doing
this during school time.
I don't know why I
mentioned the light.
Let's just get our
bikes, shall we?
(SIGHS) Fine. I did forget
to do a bunch of homework.
Great. So, we have to
get past the back door
without Mom and Dad seeing us.
Stay low, follow my lead.
Try to look like alley trash.
GENE: Or raccoon poop.
that really well.
All right. Save
Mr. Fischoeder,
save the restaurant,
solve a murder.
On three. One, two, three.
ALL: Save Mr. Fischoeder,
save the restaurant,
solve a murder.
And prove we're not babies,
and Chloe Barbash is dumb.
Okay, let's move.
This is how Law and Order
should start. Every time.
LOUISE: Hi, we're
looking for Mickey.
Mickey? LOUISE: Yeah. Mickey.
Brown hair, used to rob banks,
nice guy. Works here now.
No, I know Mickey. He owes
me three seventy-five.
Dollars? And seventy-five.
Cents? Yeah, cents.
LOUISE: Where is he working
today? Scream-i-cane?
Ah, he's off till second shift.
Do you know where he lives?
We could probably remind him
about the three seventy-five?
He lives in Carniapolis.
Most of the carnies
live in Carniapolis.
That makes sense.
Where is Carniapolis?
Hang a left at the
old dog food building.
But don't go there.
Don't go there? The
dog food building?
Yeah, down past the stadium.
You'll smell it, then go left.
But seriously, don't go there.
Uh, is there a reason you
keep saying, "Don't go there"?
Because you
shouldn't. Okey dokey.
Just wanted to clarify,
but, um, why should we...
Hi, is the park open?
No, I'm just here 'cause I'm
trapped inside this booth.
Yes, we're open. All
rides half off today.
The only crime would be
to not take advantage
of these prices.
Okay, new sign. I
think this is the one.
"We have a 'hole'
new look." BOB: Mm.
"Come on in through the alley.
"It's not weird.
Love, Linda and Bob."
BOB: I guess that's
"P.S., alley smells like
pee, restaurant is fine."
Oh, Bob. Dirt.
BOB: Dirt? Dirt.
BOB: (GRUNTS) I'm getting up.
Oh, dirt. They're
gonna fill in the hole.
LINDA: Yeah. Look at them.
Where are they going?
BOB: They are leaving.
LINDA: And they're
leaving the dirt?
BOB: They are
leaving the dirt.
Do we put it in ourselves, or...
They probably have
someone else coming.
A dirt installer? Mm.
It's nice. It's like
a little mountain.
I don't like it. I think
it should be in the hole.
LINDA: Mm. Bob.
Linda. Come. Come see.
the Mobile Bob Burger Mobile.
So, you can sell
burgers in the street.
You could go anywhere.
Hot street meat.
It's my grill from home,
but I upgraded the wheels,
and I put these bars on
it so you can move it.
LINDA: Oh, wow. Uh-huh. It's
got a cooler for drinks.
Got a little
umbrella here. Ah!
You got a place to
keep buns and toppings.
I figure, you
grill, Linda serves,
and I'll push it around for you.
So, I'll be there the
whole time with you guys,
keeping the banter going,
being part of each
other's lives.
You know, laughing,
loving, learning.
Teddy, Teddy, Teddy.
It's so nice of you
to do this. But we...
we don't have a license to
sell food on the street.
We could get fined.
I'll keep an eye
out for the cops.
I don't think we can...
LINDA: I love it.
Wait, what'd you
say? I love it.
Right? You can't get the
people to your burgers,
you bring the burgers to them.
(SIGHS) I feel like
we're just skipping over
my "we don't have
a license" comment.
Oh, come on, Bob.
It's not a law, right?
It's like I'm supposed
to wear a hairnet
when I work in the
kitchen, but I never do.
That's a law. Also a
law. They're both laws.
Bob, we have to sell
some burgers
today, right? Yes.
LINDA: We got four
days to pay the bank.
That's true. Come on.
Okay, fine. But only
because we're desperate.
This place can't close.
I can't live if
livin' is without you.
Teddy. I said we
could do it. Oh, good.
Let's light this sucker up, huh?
You got it. (ALL YELP)
No problem. No problem.
Just gotta check the gas line.
Might have had it up a
little bit high. (CHUCKLES)
You guys meet me back here
with some ground beef,
and some comfortable shoes,
and maybe an apron for me
so we all kinda have a uniform.
Oh, that gives me an idea.
Bob, I gotta go up to
the apartment real quick.
Be right back. Okay,
Bob, grab your meat.
Please don't shout that at me.
Right, right. (WHISPERS)
Grab your meat.
Smells like the most stuff
you can grind up to make food.
TINA: Oh, look, that
was their slogan.
GENE: Huh.
TINA: This doesn't look
right. No one lives here.
GENE: I don't know
why. It's beautiful.
LOUISE: Whoa, you hear that?
TINA: Huh. They sound cranky.
LOUISE: Let's check it
out. TINA: Oh, okay.
I miss school.
I'm feeling suddenly
like I love fractions.
TINA: Yeah, I wanna learn
about photosynthesis
so badly right now.
If this is Carniapolis,
maybe we shouldn't disturb
their scary sounding
carnie time?
I mean, it's a little like
they're deciding who to shiv
and if they see us, they'll be
like, "Oh, let's shiv them."
But you know, maybe not.
TINA: Are they playing
a game with duckies?
GENE: Adorably?
Lucky ducky.
Lucky ducky. Damn.
Kids. Hi, Mickey.
How's it going?
You here to buy drugs?
You don't buy drugs.
I can't even swallow pills.
We have to hide
them in his food.
We, uh, wanted to ask
you some questions.
Mickey, your turn.
Oh. Can you skip me?
We play lucky ducks, but
we play carnie rules.
TINA: Seems fun.
There's more beer and yelling
than when kids play
it at Wonder Wharf.
Yeah, well, we're
toasting Cotton Candy Dan.
That's why we're also gambling
and pushing each other
and punching each other.
The first shift folks made
a nice little memorial
to put on the pier
in his old spot.
And us second shift folks
are, uh, doing this.
(WHISPERS) Just ask
him. (WHISPERS) I will.
But pretty soon, right?
Give me a second.
I can't just say,
"Hey, Mickey, which carnie
killed Cotton Candy Dan?"
Wait, did you say,
"Which carnie killed
Cotton Candy Dan?"
LOUISE: It did sound
like that, didn't it?
You come in to Carniapolis
and accuse a carnie of
killing another carnie?
I think that's
right. Is that right?
You know, it's bad enough
that Mr. Fischoeder
kills one of us,
which is bad boss
alert, am I right?
Yeah. But to throw
it back on us?
Hey, hey, they're just kids.
Kid cops. Little kid cops.
They have those, you know?
For going into small
spaces and hiding in boxes.
Nah, I know these guys.
They're not cops. They're
little burger babies.
don't use that word.
What? "Burger"?
Sorry. Meat patties?
It's just too much.
First Fischoeder kills
Cotton Candy Dan, now this?
I may have a tattoo of a dagger
stabbing a heart going
up into his skull
and it says "dead inside,"
but I have feelings, you know?
Some lucky ducks
get all the luck
Some break their
backs to make a buck
And sure, we are a bunch
Of shady criminal-ish
gents and ladies
But we did our time Yeah
We paid for our
crimes Well, most of us.
And our misdemeanors
Now we sell fried
dough and wieners
Even though we're kinda
sketchy gals and fellas
Doesn't mean that Fischoeder
Can go and
kill us Uh-uh!
Working here can really be
A roller coaster
One day you're
cleaning vomit
Next you're on
a missing poster
It's such a drag
To have a boss
Who pays you bad
Who pays us bad
Then bumps you off
Some lucky ducks
Get all the luck
Oh, yes, they do
But that's not us No, sir.
Unlucky schmucks Sing it.
It really stinks
It really sucks
So we'll just
play our lucky ducks
Cool. Have fun with that.
Should we get going?
Some lucky ducks
get all the luck
You've said your
piece, now listen up
To me, your life,
it seems just fine
You think that's
bad? Try being nine
The other day,
things got real crazy
A girl at school
called me a baby
(ALL GASP) What?
Even though I'm small,
well, I can tell you for sure
I'm gonna be the one
That solves this
frickin' murder
I know you all think
Fischoeder's the one
Who did it
But I will find the
evidence to get him acquitted
I'm just a kid ALL:
It's such a drag
That's what they
say To have a boss
Now run along
Who pays you bad
Now go and play
Then bumps you off
Some lucky ducks
It really stinks
Get all the luck
It really sucks
Until I show
So we'll just play
Them what is what
Our lucky ducks
I'm gonna show them
All what I can do
Gonna show 'em I'm
much braver than what you
Think that I am,
even though I'm small
No matter whatever,
gonna show you all
LOUISE: Come on. We
don't need their help.
TINA: Have a nice day.
See, they're not cops.
Cops don't dance
around like that.
They dance like this. (GRUNTS)
like Carni-crapolis.
GENE: I liked it.
I think I'm gonna have my
next birthday party there.
TINA: Oh, good idea.
Yeah, the theme's
gonna be "disgruntled."
That's nice.
Um... Am I being paranoid,
or is that big scary
carnie following us?
(GASPS) Maybe he just remembered
that he forgot to murder us.
Oh, God. Quick, this way.
TINA: Dead end.
GENE: That's worse
than split ends.
Uh, Tina, why'd you
say go this way?
TINA: I didn't. (ALL SCREAM)
(GASPS) Oh, sorry.
Didn't mean to scare you.
No, no, of course not.
Just following kids into alleys.
Everybody loves that.
Is there something
we can do for you?
You were asking who wanted
to kill Cotton Candy Dan?
No, I mean, before.
But not anymore.
We've moved on.
I got something to tell you.
I didn't wanna
say it back there.
They don't wanna hear
what I gotta say.
We're listening.
But maybe not
making eye contact.
I was there that
night, you know?
The last night anyone saw Dan.
You were? Yeah.
We were playing lucky
ducky on the wharf.
And sure, Dan and
Mr. Fischoeder
got into a big fight.
Mr. Fischoeder started
throwing ducks at Dan's head.
He kept yelling "duck,"
and it was confusing.
I can see that.
Anyway, after the
game, I went back
'cause I forgot my stress ball.
And it's just Dan,
Mr. Fischoeder,
and Felix Fischoeder,
and they're yelling
at each other,
and they're all throwing ducks.
Wait. Felix was at the game?
No. He wasn't.
Mr. Fischoeder doesn't
let him play lucky ducky
because Felix gives
all the duckies
different voices
and personalities
and it makes it take a while.
That's why it was weird that
he showed up that night.
But nobody back
there wants to hear
that maybe Mr. Fischoeder
didn't do it.
Oh, my God. Of course.
Felix Fischoeder.
It's so Felix.
He has access to
Mr. Fischoeder's gun.
He was fighting with
both Mr. Fischoeder
and Cotton Candy Dan.
And most importantly,
he has a motive.
He has a motive to
frame his brother.
Because he's mad
Mr. Fischoeder doesn't like
his lucky ducky voices?
No, because I bet you
if Mr. Fischoeder goes to
jail, Felix gets his money.
We gotta go to the cops.
Oh. Uh, mind if I
don't go to the cops?
I have to pick up
my dry cleaning,
because it's dry now.
LOUISE: Yeah, no
problem. Okay.
LOUISE: Let's go,
let's go, let's go.
GENE: Thank you, scary
carnie. Love you. Bye.
TEDDY: Well, everything
fits perfectly.
What's this for?
Olive bar. What?
I thought you could
have imported olives,
and they could go there.
Oh. I'm not sure... While
you wait for a burger,
you help yourself to
an imported olive.
I got these on my way
over. You can pay me later.
Mm. Mobile Bob Burger Mobile
is a little fancier than
restaurant Bob Burgers.
You'll get used to it.
Where's Linda? I feel like
she's missing all the fun
of us setting up
this cart together.
What's happening? I get it.
No questions from this guy.
I'm the marketing department.
I took Gene's burger suit,
let out the crotch a
little bit, and bam.
I'll push the product,
while you push the cart.
But the bikini. It's summer.
And sex sells,
baby. Yeah, Bob.
Is that sex? A burger
with a bikini on it?
Uh, yeah. LINDA: Mm-hmm.
Okay, let's do it.
Yay. All right.
I dreamt this. Oh.
No, don't tell us.
No, it was nice.
Linda wasn't in it. It was
just a burger in a bikini.
BOB: Yeah, still
don't tell us.
TEDDY: I'm so happy right now.
Let's go save your restaurant!
Sergeant Bosco. (SPLUTTERS)
Holy smokes, you scared
me. Sorry. Sorry.
Don't sneak up on a cop.
That's our job. We
sneak up on you.
Why are you here?
We went to the police station,
where you live, I assume.
But nobody from Homicide
would talk to us.
So, then we went to
look for you in Robbery,
but they said you
were on a stakeout.
And they told you where I was?
They said you were
at a dangerous
biker gang headquarters,
and we said, "The
One Eyed Snakes"?
And they said, "Yeah,"
and we said, "Oh,
we know those guys."
And they were like, "What?"
And we were like, "Yeah,
they're really nice."
Get down, get down. (SHUSHING)
GENE: You get down.
We are also getting down.
What are we looking for?
(WHISPERS) Bikers.
Right. But, doing what?
We got a tip that they stole
a bunch of karaoke machines,
and I'm watching to see if
they try and move the goods.
That doesn't seem like
their kind of crime.
on, shake your body
Baby, do the conga
You know you can't control
yourself any longer
Oh, okay. SERGEANBOSCO: Mm-hmm.
Anyway, we're here to tell you
that the police
have the wrong guy.
Mr. Fischoeder didn't
kill Cotton Candy Dan.
His brother, Felix, did.
Wait, aren't you kids
supposed to be in that place
with the books and adults
that tell you stuff?
Adult bookstore? No.
School? Yeah. School.
Some of us think we
are supposed to be
in school right now. Yes.
Tina, the restaurant, remember?
If Mr. Fischoeder
goes to jail,
the restaurant goes under.
Down under.
Where the didgeridoo
whatever they're gonna do.
(GRUNTS) Get out.
Get out of my unmarked
stakeout vehicle.
Go catch tadpoles
or whatever kids do.
Go catch tadpoles? Yeah.
Tadpoles? Yeah.
The things that turn into frogs.
We know what they are.
I was pretty sure.
Not bad to clarify.
We're city folk. Oh, I see.
You're just Robbery.
You couldn't help
even if you wanted to.
Because it's a homicide.
You don't know anything
about that case, do you?
I know stuff. I
know all the stuff.
Name one stuff.
I know something that's
not in the papers.
(SCOFFS) Yeah, right. I do.
They found a cufflink in
the hole, near the body.
Yeah? A very unique cufflink.
Custom. It's a banana
wearing a graduation hat.
Hmm, classy. Carnies
don't wear cufflinks.
True. Lotta tank tops.
I know carnies don't
wear cufflinks.
They searched
Fischoeder's house,
but they haven't
found the other one.
Huh. Yeah.
But I bet they didn't
search Felix's.
We need to go to Felix's place
and look for that cufflink.
Go, go, go.
Hate it. Terrible
plan. Don't like it.
Oh, good. Looks
like you're taking
your annoying conversation
somewhere else. Bye.
Sergeant Bosco, you
know you left the light
on the top of your car.
Huh? What? Oh, damn
it. Son of a...
Argh. Okay. At
least no one saw.
They don't know I'm here.
Get away. Get
away. Shoo. Shoo.
Hey, kids. Hey, Louise.
LOUISE: Hey, Critter.
You bothering
that nice policeman? No.
I'm not a policeman.
What are you...
Son of a... Dang nab.
Oh, my bad. You're just
a regular guy. I'm sorry.
Your badge is on the dashboard.
Can they see that?
And your coffee says
"Sergeant Bosco" on it.
All right, get away.
Fresh hot burgers.
Sexy burgers.
BOB: Lin. What?
You wanna eat a burger
Does she look like a
weird streetwalker?
Not too much.
How's the burger? It's great.
I've never eaten outside before.
Wait, what? MAN: Hi.
Are you selling
burgers? We are.
I'll take a cheeseburger.
What was it? What made
you want a burger?
I was hungry.
And then you saw a... Cart.
And a person dressed as a...
She's not with us. Shoo, shoo.
Oh, Bob.
Fresh hot burgers. Sexy
burgers. Fresh hot...
(GASPS) Bob, it's Hugo.
TEDDY: Hugo the
health inspector?
Oh, God. They know we don't
have a license to do this.
Um, did you mean
for me to hear that?
Shh! Crouch down.
Okay, but I feel a
little weird about it.
It's just quite a
coincidence, that's all.
I start using chapstick,
and then, all of a sudden,
you start using chapstick?
Why can't you just be flattered?
Oh, fine, use it.
Oh, thank God.
gonna see us.
Let's hide in Wonder
Wharf. Teddy, let's move.
I'm still eating my burger.
Do I go, too?
Yes, stay low.
Are you coming, Ron?
Sorry, putting on my chapstick.
HUGO: Hmm.
(WHISPERS) Treehouse. Go.
Hmm. Hmm.
Heaven? Sounds like heaven.
I think she's saying
we're number one.
But we're "not all
there, upstairs."
Oh, my God. I'm saying
let's go up the ladder
and listen for Felix,
and see if he's in there.
Oh, that makes more
sense. TINA: Mm-hmm.
Felix Fischoeder?
That treehouse hot tub
you ordered is here.
Okay, he's not home.
Oh, God.
People, we are looking
for a banana cufflink.
An educated banana cufflink.
Also, we might be in
a murderer's house,
just an FYI.
Yep, yep. If he comes
home, you fight him.
TINA: Uh...
BOB: Okay, uh, do
we go back out now?
See if the coast is clear?
Or do we stay here? Sell
these folks some burgers?
Um, I mean...
What? Let them throw up
our food on the rides.
Hey, look.
Bob Burgers is getting
a little bit of a line.
LINDA: No. We are
not Bob Burgers.
We work here now.
(GRUNTS) At the wharf.
I mean, we don't.
But, I guess we could
stay for a little bit.
Also, we were never Bob Burgers.
Hello, ma'am. Sir.
You can order anything
from the top-third of the
front of the menu there,
and anything from the left
side of the middle section
on the back of the menu.
And you are welcome
to an imported olive
while you wait.
Can I get the toothpick
back when you're done?
Bob's looking at me funny.
Never mind. That
is yours to keep.
(SIGHS) I don't think it's here.
We looked everywhere.
It's definitely not
in this soft, soft
cashmere sweater
that I'm just
rubbing and rubbing.
Or is it? Better keep looking.
Yeah, I just got home.
(GASPS) Crap, he's
home. Quick, hide.
FELIX: Are you at your house?
did a terrible job.
Gene, you're just
standing against the wall.
he'd least suspect.
Crap. Everybody
into the closet.
FELIX: I'm just
going upstairs.
Gonna get some stuff
out of the closet.
(ALL GASP) Crap.
Everybody out.
What about there?
quick. Go, go, go.
This is lovely.
Shh! All right.
Don't look, don't look,
don't look, don't look.
Okay, now look. FANNY: No.
Fanny. Fashion show. No.
Yes. Look. No, I'm sleepy.
(WHISPERS) Is that Fanny?
I thought she was in jail.
I guess she's out, and they're
trying to make it work.
I mean, the chemistry's there.
Fanny, Fanny,
Fanny, Fanny, Fanny.
This is my travel
outfit. Look.
You'll love it.
Look, look. Uh-uh.
Come on.
Fleeing the country is a
once in a lifetime thing.
We deserve to look
good doing it.
I don't wanna flee the
country. It's too far.
Oh, wait, that's cute.
Yay. Okay. What
are you gonna wear?
A hat that looks like shorts,
and shorts that look like a hat.
Okay. It works. Trust me.
Should we talk and pack or...
Bye. Okay.
All right, I'll meet
you at the place.
Fleeing the country,
fleeing the country
Fleeing the country
Felix and Fanny
framed Fischoeder,
and now they're fleeing
the freaking country.
I can't believe it.
Mm, little stuffy in here.
Opening these
guys. (TINA GASPS)
(WHISPERING) I think we
can climb down from here.
Tina, you go first.
What? Oh, God.
LOUISE: Weird place to
put your dirty dishes.
TINA: I mean, he is
a murderer. Maybe.
Yeah, murderers probably leave
their dishes all over the place.
Gene, try that door.
Gene, what did you do?
I don't know. (WHIMPERS)
This is gonna help me with
childbirth later in life.
(GRUNTS) Thank you.
Okay, I have some questions
about this moving balcony.
LOUISE: I think it's
how he gets his meals
and sends back his dishes.
GENE: Oh, then I
love it. (GASPS)
Suitcase, suitcase,
you're gonna fly.
Oh, my God. He's gonna see us.
What am I forgetting?
Have my mints.
Packed my sleeping shorts.
Ah, I'm good.
My wet wipes.
Ah, I can hire a wet
wiper when I get there.
LOUISE: Oh, thank God.
But he's gonna get away.
We gotta follow him.
Nope. Doesn't sound right.
Gene, back me up on this.
You can hire a wet wiper?
I'm okay.
All right. We'll follow him,
and call the police when
we see what his plan is.
GENE: I want a
moving dish balcony.
Here you go. Totally
normal Wonder Wharf burger.
We've sold a lot of food.
Teddy, this cart is perfect.
I mean, not perfect,
but it's great.
(SNIFFLING) No big deal.
Just helping out a friend.
But, maybe we should
move around a little bit.
So we don't get
caught doing this.
We're not gonna get caught.
Bob, we fit right in.
A family just took
a picture with me.
No, I saw that.
A family was surprised when
you jumped in their picture.
A lucky family.
Please, can we move to be safe?
Oh, fine. TEDDY: Let's do it.
We're moving locations, people.
Lin, shh. Oh, Bob. Relax.
Everything's going
What was that? Back
it up. Back it up.
It's some cotton candy, and
a picture, and a candle...
(GASPS) It's a little
shrine for Cotton Candy Dan.
Oh, no. Uh, it's fine.
I'm gonna put it all
back together over here.
Okay, that's broken. Oh. Oops.
That's not gonna stand up.
It's all right.
Nobody saw, right?
What the... LINDA: Oh, boy.
TEDDY: Uh-oh.
BOB: Oh, crap. Are
you kidding me?
Well, why was it on
the ground like that?
'Cause that was his spot.
Okay, yeah. That's
a good reason.
We worked really hard
on that memorial. Kinda.
Also, who are you?
Is that guy picking
up a lead pipe?
Oh, it's a hotdog. Still.
BOB: We should maybe
leave the park.
We can't get to the exit.
We'd have to get through him.
Oh, my God. Okay,
uh, new idea.
Linda, Teddy,
let's, uh, just run.
LINDA: Yep. Yep.
We're running.
FELIX: Excuse me. Whoopsie.
LOUISE: Why is Felix
going into Wonder Wharf
if he wants to flee the country?
Is Wonder Wharf in
international waters?
Maybe he wants to win
a goldfish real quick.
No bikes on the pier.
LOUISE: Yeah, no, we know.
We're friends now though,
so, it's okay, right?
Yeah, thank you.
I know that Felix is a murderer,
but it's kinda sweet
that he and Fanny
are gonna flee the
country together.
It's a real he-fled,
she-fled situation.
What? Tina, get your
head outta your boobs.
Right. Right.
Hey, Tina... (GASPS)
you're not really thinking
about Felix and Fanny, are you?
Fantasy Jimmy Jr., what
are you doing here?
You're thinking about me.
You're thinking about this.
Boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom.
Holy crap.
Phew! I don't have
time for this.
But that question
you wanna ask me.
You're not nervous
that I'll say no.
You're nervous
that I'll say yes.
And that real me
is just never gonna be
as good as fantasy me.
Dang it, Jimmy Jr.,
not now. (YELPS)
Oh, sorry. FANTASY
JIMMY JR.: I'm okay.
Tina, focus.
Yep. Coming. Here I am.
Ugh, we lost him. Great.
There's the bandshell.
See ya soon, Shelly.
We're gonna rock so hard.
Lot of confidence here,
despite what some
robots may say.
TINA: What? Nothing.
Look, the golf cart.
And he's parked in
front of the funhouse
like a true criminal.
Well, what's he doing in there?
A lovely bunch of
sailors dancing in a row
I knew I looked good.
LOUISE: Get down.
FELIX: Beep-beep, ba-boop,
ba-beep. Thank you.
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
FELIX: And...
Oh. Parked.
LOUISE: The Molehill? Ugh.
I like the Molehill.
It's the ride they
recommend for grandparents
and people with heart problems.
I go on it with Dad.
BOTH: Whee.
What's happening in there?
Moles got him,
probably. Come on.
kickstand. Wait up.
I don't hear anything.
Well, it says "do
not enter," so I...
Oh, you're going in.
What the...
Where the hell did he go?
Ooh, buttons.
You know what I like
to do with these?
Gene, no. Jeez, good thing
you didn't push that one.
Mm! Hello, lover. TINA:
No, no, no, no, no.
GENE: Wow.
(SIGHS) I think we lost
them. I think we're good.
Sheesh, you knock
over one memorial.
Well, it was a nice
thing that they made
for their friend
who was murdered.
And we were pretending
that we work here,
and I guess, taking
money from them.
And I look like a giant burger,
and you know, maybe
they're hungry.
CARNIE: There they are.
BOB: Oh, for Pete's sake.
TEDDY: Go, go, go, go, go.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
I have an idea. You guys
go left at the corner.
I'll take the cart
and go straight ahead.
They'll follow the
cart. BOB: I don't think
that's gonna work. Good
idea, Teddy. Thank you.
TEDDY: Take care
of Linda for me.
Turn here, turn here.
BOB: Uh... All
right. (TEDDY YELLS)
sorry, sorry, sorry.
Should we chase those guys?
DOG CARNIE: Yeah. Come
on, come on, come on.
BOB: Didn't work.
What is this place?
TINA: Did we go
through a time warp?
GENE: I bet we quantum leapt.
Where did Felix go?
Also, how do we get outta
here if he tries to kill...
Children? (KIDS GASP)
Ew, what are you doing here?
Did you hear me go pee-pee?
Children? Ew.
LOUISE: Mr. Fischoeder.
What are you doing in
our secret clubhouse?
What are you doing in
your secret clubhouse?
I thought you were in jail.
I posted bail. Jail bail.
Yep, had to. Those beds
were bad for my back.
How'd you get in here?
You were running around up there
pressing buttons, weren't you?
Of course, we were.
They're buttons.
You pressed the ouchies button?
Weren't you worried
about ouchies?
Eh. Okay, well,
you can leave now. Bye.
Calvin and I have some
business things to do.
Mm. You have
creepy face again.
This is why I think you
should grow a beard.
You know I can't!
Sorry, can you give us a
sec? We just need to hug.
We love each other. Gross.
(WHISPERS) Guys, we
gotta tell Mr. Fischoeder
that his brother framed him,
and then get him out of here
before Felix does
something bad to him.
TINA: This feels nice.
Yeah, we should do
this more often.
Okay, yeah, but save the
restaurant, remember?
Great hug. Now,
Mr. Fischoeder,
can we talk to you over here?
CALVIN: I don't hug.
GENE: Ooh, what's this
thing? LOUISE: Gene!
Oh, yes, my sweet old organ.
GENE: Your wiener?
CALVIN: That is the
GENE: I love that.
Interesting. Can I,
uh... It is interesting.
This used to be part
of the old park.
(LOUISE GROANS) This place was
the Orchestramaramatorium.
And it was the launch point
for our underwater ride,
Poseidon's Sea-cret,
spelled S-E-A,
which I'm just now getting.
You see, when our
father bought the pier,
he built Wonder Wharf
on top of the old park,
and he hid this room away.
Sealed it up under the Molehill.
(MUSIC CHIMING) And ha-cha.
GENE: Ooh. TINA: Whoa.
CALVIN: Mm, the
sea monsters win.
Those look like dolphins.
Well, dolphins were
considered monsters back then.
Mr. Fischoeder...
GENE: Quick question.
Yes, boy Bob child.
Could our band borrow
this when we headline
at the Wonder Wharf
bandshell this summer?
I assume it's easy to move.
Follow-up question,
don't you think
that now that we're
borrowing this,
we should headline at the
bandshell this summer?
Ha! You're dreaming.
Johnny Jazz Hands
is the headliner.
Gene, stop getting distracted.
Ooh, wanna see our secret
mini-cars from the '50s
that we drive in our
secret under-pier?
No, we don't.
Oh, goody.
Okay, so this is here.
Excellent for
storage under piers.
Old ride parts over there.
Carousel horses!
Shh, I'm doing this tour.
Carousel horses over there.
We can get ice cream
any time we want.
Hello. Bye.
The stuffed animal storage unit.
For when you need
a little snuggle.
Hmm, not as many in here
as I would have thought.
Maybe you're right, Felix.
Maybe they do come to life.
I told you.
This was our daycare
Had to close it.
Yep, kids couldn't
handle their liquor.
Okay, now that we got
that out of our system...
Uh, Felix, is that a stain
on the back of your outfit?
Oh, God, no.
Mr. Fischoeder, we have
to tell you something.
It's about Felix.
We think that he's... (THUD)
(GRUNTS) CALVIN: Ah, Grover,
nice of you to
join us. (GROANING)
Will you ever not be awkward
when you come down that slide?
(GRUNTS) Someday. Heh.
I feel like I'm
getting better at it.
Mm, no. FELIX: No, you're not.
Mm, Orchestramarama
time. FELIX: Mm-hmm.
Oh! Kids. (CHUCKLES)
It's so great you
have kids here.
Hi, kids. Sinkhole kids.
Hey, uh, lawyer guy,
you got a second for
some quick legal advice?
Oh. (CHUCKLES) Sure you do.
We're just gonna chat
about a lawsuit I'm in.
Tina, you wanted
to talk to Felix
about something?
Mm-mm, no, I didn't.
No, no, no, no, you
should talk to him now.
Really? 'Cause I'd
love to not do that.
Tina, talk to Felix.
You'll be fine.
FELIX: Oh, like
you're such a treat.
TINA: Sorry, sorry.
Look, why don't I
give you my card
and you can... (GRUNTS)
killed Cotton Candy Dan.
He's framing his brother.
What? (SCOFFS)
Yes. We overheard him
planning to leave the country.
Well, that part's true.
They're both planning
to leave the country.
That's why they're here.
That's why I'm here.
They made me bring
them books on tape.
They're mostly
coloring books on tape.
I don't even know
how that works.
What the hell? They're
fleeing together?
That doesn't make any sense.
GENE: Shall I accompany you?
CALVIN: No, thank
you. Yes, thank you.
No, thank you. Yes, thank you.
No, thank you. (PLAYS ORGAN)
Ooh, I like that.
What did you just do?
Keep doing that.
Well, this is fun.
Oh, um, so,
have you heard... you...
from Fanny lately?
Yes, we're back together-ish.
That's good. Is she
less homicidal now?
Yes, much less homicidal.
Thanks for asking.
She's my little
Fanny Fanny boo-boo.
Aw, you really love her, huh?
More than I love how
I look in this outfit.
Hmm. But, what if how
you feel about her,
how you feel about love
doesn't ever match?
How it really
is? In real life?
Well, this got deep.
What if no one lives up
to anyone's expectations?
What if I'm just letting
a butt lead my heart
down a dead-end road?
Boy, the energy over there
seems great, doesn't it?
Uh, stay in school.
La-la-la, la-la-la-la
(GRUNTS) Darn it.
(GRUNTS) Oh, my God.
CALVIN: Let's play
something jazzy, shall we?
GENE: Oh, yes, I love jazz.
Oh, is that gonna choke a fish?
Look, I don't know what
the deal is with Felix,
but you can't let them
leave the country.
Mr. Fischoeder's innocent.
But he said he's afraid
he can't beat the charge.
That's why they're fleeing
to Cuba. In their submarine.
What are you two hush-hushing
about over there?
Yeah. We can whisper too.
See? It's hurtful.
We're talking about
your "submarine"
which as your attorney
and your cousin,
I advise you not to use.
That thing works?
And goes places?
Uh, yeah. Jealous?
We tricked her out.
We knew we'd eventually
have to flee the country
for one reason or another.
We're naughty little Nellies.
This baby can even
play books on tape.
Grover, you bring the stuff?
Yes. CALVIN: Oh, good.
GENE: Yay. It's all
online, you know.
How to convert a 1920s
era submarine-themed ride
into an almost-real submarine.
Some videos are
better than others.
Avoid Sub Dude's, but
overall pretty simple.
We shove off in an hour or so.
We're just waiting for the tide.
That's something
submarine people say.
And some of us will
also be able to have
one last land poo.
That's another
submarine term, I think.
Yep, we'll be refueling
in a secret cove
near Myrtle Beach by midnight.
And picking up someone's
on-again off-again girlfriend.
Ugh. Oh, shush, she's great.
Okay, I forbid this.
You are going to
stay in this country,
face trial, prove
your innocence,
and continue to be our landlord
so we don't lose our restaurant.
Great speech,
Louise. Thank you.
Yes. You're welcome.
If you do decide to stay,
we should start talking
about your legal
strategy. Boring.
And your arraignment.
Grover, let me put
this on your head,
so we don't have to hear you
talking, talking, talking.
No, no, no, no, no.
FELIX: Yay, I did it.
I put a helmet on our
lawyer. Oh, my God.
You oughta be on an ottoman.
(MUFFLED) No. Don't.
Stop. Don't hit my...
Okay, nobody wants
to solve this crime,
and everyone is awful.
Oh, let's play that game
where we spin you around
till you fall over.
GROVER: No, no, I
don't like that game.
(SCOFFS) Pictures
of silly rich people
who just go to Cuba whenever
they get charged with murder.
LOUISE: Nobody will
help us. Nobody cares.
And the real murderer
will just keep living
their life and...
What the...
GROVER: Don't like this.
No, I don't want... (GRUNTS)
LOUISE: That shape.
GROVER: Take this
thing off me.
Holy crap.
Tina. Psst! TINA:
(WHISPERING) Grover. Pow-pow.
I figured it out.
I figured it out.
You guys seem very
excited about something.
Is it my sweet jam? No.
Why are you looking at me
like that? Like I farted?
They're the ones being jerky.
Oh, no reason. I forget.
What are you holding?
LOUISE: Nothing.
Um, candy.
(GULPS) Mmm. So good.
(GAGS) Now you're gagging.
(GAGS) No. Mm-mm.
(GAGS) Let me see.
He really wants some candy.
GROVER: Spit it.
GROVER: What the...
Is that a tooth?
It's so weird looking and...
That's, uh, candy
for you these days.
Looks like weird old teeth.
GROVER: I see. And you
enjoy that, do you?
Yeah, well, it does the trick.
Whoa, you're pointing
a spear gun at us.
Yeah, right. Whoa.
Nobody move.
Nobody move.
They went this way. They
must be close, right?
Do you see 'em?
really see anything.
(WHISPERS) Bob, are
those the kids' bikes?
BOB: What the...
And that's
Mr. Fischoeder's golf cart.
What is going on?
I don't know. Uh-oh, uh-oh.
Oh, no, I'm slipping.
Oh, my... Now I'm
slipping, too.
What's that sound?
Oh, God. Hold on.
How? Kegels.
Huh. Well, now
I don't hear it.
Come on. Let's go to the front
gate, and try to cut 'em off.
CARNIE: No, Fitz. This way.
(GASPS) Didn't hurt.
Come on, let's go find the kids.
Okay, yeah, you know
what I'm gonna do?
I'm just gonna get all
your phones. Come on.
TINA: We don't have phones.
And it hasn't been an
issue socially at all.
Oh, really? A teen
girl without a phone?
That's what I keep saying.
It's just harder to justify
every year. I mean, just...
Yeah, we don't need to
get into it. Bye, phones.
So, you were looking
at the picture,
and you saw my banana cufflink,
which I bought for myself
when I graduated law school
'cause no one else
got me a present.
Oh, boo-hoo. You
went to law school?
I knew he bit me,
but I didn't know he
swallowed the damn thing.
And you have that weird
tooth for some reason,
and it matches my scar,
and now everyone thinks
I murdered him
just 'cause I did.
Unbelievable. You killed
Cotton Candy Andy?
TINA: Dan. Cotton
Candy Andy Dan?
It's just... Never
mind. You framed me?
You're a terrible family lawyer.
And a selfish lover, I bet.
Well, we should
probably hit the road.
No, we're all gonna
stay right here
where no one's gonna
come looking for you.
Oh, my face!
Ha! Now you're in trouble.
Our mom and dad are here.
Oh, my babies. Oh, my
I'm glad you're here.
I mean, I wish you had
more police with you.
But, uh, yeah, also
you look good, Mom.
Thank you, Tina.
You better not have
stretched my burger suit.
But the bikini can stay.
I don't know why we didn't put
that on in the first place.
Sorry we skipped school.
You skipped school?
Why'd you do that?
We were saving the restaurant
and solving a murder.
Solving a murder is no
reason to leave school.
Okay, Department of Education.
Shush, shush, shush!
I'm so annoyed.
How did you find us? How
did you even get in here?
We saw the kids'
bikes. Ugh, bikes!
And their bikes
were by some stairs.
So, we went up,
and we went into the
little electrical place.
Yay, buttons. Linda, no.
Yeah, Mom.
No, no cheering. Sorry.
Diarrhea's comin' back
My family's under attack
It's not so
great, I do agree
I've also got a bad wedgie
Thought I could
prove I'm not a baby
But now all
of us need saving
Dropped my hopes
into the ocean
Sorry if a fish is chokin'
Sure, a lot is happening
But I wish I
brought my napkin thing
It might have
helped to calm us down
Everybody, hush.
Don't make a sound.
But why are you doing all this?
Okay, good question.
I'll allow it.
Look, I'm not that evil, no
I'm not a bad person
So, I killed one carnie
Well, it's just
'cause I'm determined
To finally get what I
think that I'm deservin'
And to turn it
into something worthy
Trust me, I'm
sure you will agree
Would you like to
hear my master plan?
Okay, can you answer
faster 'Cause I asked you
Would you like to
hear my master plan?
Um, yes.
Okay, that's more like it
I'm so glad that you asked
You see, I'm in the
Fischoeder Family Trust,
because I'm in the family.
Well, barely.
He's from the bad
part of the family.
He means the poor part.
They're bad because
they're poor.
Shut it. Shut your front door.
Okay, okay. OTHERS: Yeah.
I said okay.
So, in this family
trust, you see,
you're ineligible
to receive benefits
if you've been
convicted of a felony.
And every single one
of them has been.
All except for cousin Calvin,
because he never got caught.
Yeah, baby. GROVER: Shush!
So, I frame him, and boom.
Now, if something
unfortunate happens
to Calvin and Felix,
whom will they suspect?
Not me, no, no,
no. Why would they?
Something unfortunate is
going to happen to us?
Uh, yes. Surprise.
Oh, poo. Wait, both of us?
Yeah, sorry. You
were so insistent
about going with your
brother to Cuba...
I bought an outfit.
Yes, we know.
But let's just
say your submarine
isn't going to go to Cuba.
Oh. Cancun?
It won't make it out
from under the pier.
Oh, my. Oh, dear.
Did you think that sub
was gonna make it to Cuba?
Hmm, I think we
might have gotten
a little too excited
about the sub idea.
I mean, isn't it
just an old ride?
Yes, it runs on tokens.
But not the best
frame job, right?
I mean, why bury
Cotton Candy Dan
in front of our restaurant
and then wait six years?
I didn't bury him in
front of your restaurant.
And I didn't wanna
wait six years.
Easy. Easy.
Maybe we should hold
off on the questions.
I had it all worked
out. A top-rate murder.
I shoot Mr. Carnie
with Calvin's gun.
I stick him in a pile of dirt,
or whatever yucky stuff
was near the entrance
to the wharf.
I leave the stupid
foot sticking out,
so someone would
be sure to see it.
But little did I know
that some numbskull
backhoe operator
working for the city was
gonna scoop up that pile
without even checking
for dead carnies.
I come back, I've got no body.
I didn't know where
they'd brought the dirt.
And it's not like I
could go around asking,
"Hey, what's the word? Did
anyone find any dead guys?
"This tall? Kind of a biter?"
It was a nightmare.
But thankfully, blessedly,
your stupid pipe burst
and saved the day.
The skeleton was found,
frame job back on,
and it's true what they say,
good things happen
to good people.
Wait a second.
Is this all about your
silly mega-park idea?
Yes. CALVIN: Mm-hmm.
This is about my mega-park
My much more
efficient and profitable
Than your stupid
pier mega-park
It'll have gift shops Oh.
So many giftshops
I love giftshops.
And so much
parking BOB: Lin!
And I'll get
the best marketers
To do the best marketing
And indoor motion
simulator rides
If you could
see my scale models
Then you'd understand
why Cotton Candy Dan
Had to die
It's gonna be so
worth it. Okay.
Because business dreams
are about business.
They're not about dreams.
That's not true.
All right then.
I think I got it figured out
I think that
this is what I need
You're gonna
all get in the sub
And then I'll
launch you in the sea
No, no, I don't
think that's right
No, that's right.
You won't be able to get out
The handle's
broken from inside
Then the pier will
be on fire ALL: What?
Well, you caused
it, then you died
that's so careless of us
Yeah, what they'll say is this.
Metal wheels on metal tracks
Will cause a
spark, a little flare
Whoops, the drapes,
they catch on fire
And it just gets
worse from there
Up it goes into the Molehill
Which now seems
to be quite full
Of cute and
fluffy, very burny
Flammable stuffed animals
So, they don't come
to life? I guess not.
And then the Molehill
turns into Mole Hell.
That's what we call Dad's back.
We do? Oh, oh-oh
I have so many
problems with this plan
Like what? People on the pier?
Gone. I'm closing
early. What else?
You would burn in the fire, too?
Nope. I made a fuse
out of cooking oil,
sugar and balloon string.
All things you'd find
in an amusement pier.
It's gonna go up the stairs,
over the roof of
this stupid room.
And arson investigators
will never suspect a thing
My fuse and my brilliant
flammable stuffed animals idea
gives me just enough time
to get back to the gym,
which is my alibi.
I went there
just an hour ago
I said the steam
room was too steamy
I made a pretty
damn big show
Then I slipped out the window
And that's how I got here now
I just sneak back
in through the window
And boom
I've been at
the gym three hours
I don't know if you have
three hour gym body. Sorry.
Yeah, it's not believable.
No, you're too pasty.
Also, your mega-park is
mega-dumb. And so are you.
(SIGHS) I want to amend
my earlier statement.
Here we go. I'm not that evil.
But I'm feeling evil today
CARNIE: Closing
the park early.
Always feels weird, huh?
FITZ: Yeah, we never
found those burger people.
Well, chasing them's
the fun part, isn't it?
Hey, you wearing
that thing home?
FITZ: Yeah, you know,
I have a date later.
Oh, good for you.
(SIGHS) That was
close. That was close.
Glad we got you out
of there, little cart.
But boy, oh, boy, did you
do good selling burgers!
I wouldn't be surprised
if Bob and Linda
use you every day from now on.
Oh, no. No, no.
Okay. Okay.
That's okay.
You rest now.
You did good.
You're a brave little cart.
(SOBBING) You're a
brave little cart.
Get outta here.
Not now, little King Trashmouth.
Get outta here.
(SOBBING) Oh, God. Oh, God.
What time is it?
The hockey game's on.
It's playoffs.
I might go over to Pesto's
and watch a little bit until
Bob and Linda get back.
The cart would want me
to keep on living, right?
Yeah, yeah, you're nodding,
right? You're nodding, yeah.
(WHISPERS) That's my drink.
He's drinking my drink.
BOB: Shh. You "shh."
Ugh. Don't like that.
Okay, in the sub.
Fischoeders first.
And don't make this a thing.
It's been a stressful day.
Come on. No.
In you go. Mm-mm.
Grover, I just want you to know
that one time when you
were up at the house,
Felix and I sat on your
sandwich. Bare-bottomed.
And then we served it to
you, and you ate it all.
Ugh. I knew it.
I tasted baby powder
and I thought to myself,
how would baby powder
get on a sandwich?
And I was like,
did they get salt
and baby powder mixed up?
But then I was like,
no, you know exactly
what happened.
They sat on your
sandwich... (WHISPERS) What?
Because that's just...
GROVER: the kind of thing
they think is funny.
They powder their bums
like they're from the 1800s
and they pulled down
their little pants
and they sat on your sandwich...
(WHISPERS) I can't.
GROVER: and I hate them.
They're immature
idiots and I hate them.
What the...
Go, burger people. Go!
Go, go, go. Get help.
(PANTING) Damn it.
I hate this stupid
secret clubhouse.
Ow. Where are we?
LOUISE: Get in the clam.
Uh, okay.
Okay, okay. (GROVER PANTING)
Dad, Dad, Dad.
Yep. Yep. Yep. Go, Bob.
LOUISE: He's coming.
BOB: No, I know.
Oh, boy. Yep.
(WHIMPERS) Where the
hell are we going?
I don't know, Bob. Just get
us away from that lawyer.
BOB: How do we get out of
this place? It's a maze.
Is there, like, an
exit sign somewhere?
Ahh! Oh, funhouse
mirror. Ha-ha.
LINDA: Oh, Bobby. Go, go, go.
GENE: Uh, yeah, I
don't wanna pile on,
but go, Dad.
Please, very much.
BOB: Does anyone
wanna talk about
that I'm actually
doing really well,
considering that I've never
driven down here before
in this weird under-pier,
whatever this is?
LOUISE: Ugh. Okay, you're
doing really, really well.
LINDA: Everyone
compliment your father.
GENE: Um, I think you're
handsome for your age,
which is what, 65... (GRUNTS)
BOB: Oh, my God!
He's ramming us!
Hey, cut it out!
ALL: Ahh!
TINA: No, no, no.
No, no, no. Why? Why?
LINDA: Did we lose
him? Did we lose him?
TINA: I don't
know. Maybe. Kinda.
think we lost him.
TINA: Yay, Dad.
Yeah, but I'm just gonna say it,
this is one of our
worst road trips.
Eh... I mean, it's up there.
Oh, Bob, what if you
bust through there,
and we jump down onto the beach?
GENE: Great idea.
I see no problems.
Oh, God. Okay.
I hate this. I hate this.
I hate this. I hate this.
I hate this. I hate this.
I hate this. I hate this.
Oh, crap. Oh, God! Hold on!
Oh, that was terrible.
Oh, I didn't like that.
We really lost him
this time, right?
(SHRIEKS) He jumped too.
Man, that was our thing.
Drive, Dad, drive.
I'm going as fast as I can go.
TINA: Would it be faster
to get out and walk?
Bob, take the
ramp. Uh-huh. Yep.
No, no, no, no.
LINDA: What was
that? What happened?
BOB: Uh, I think he
shot out our tire.
LINDA: Do we have a spare?
KIDS: What? I don't know.
Well, he only had one
arrow. That's good, right?
Yeah, but maybe we
keep driving anyway,
if we can.
If you call this driving.
BOB: Sorry, signs.
TINA: Hey, this is our street.
Is he back there? Kids?
I can't tell. Everyone,
be less moist.
BOB: There's our giant hole.
That's how we know we're home.
Uh, all right. If
he's not back there,
maybe we jump out, go
inside, and call the police.
I just got
comfortable, but okay.
Oh, come on, it's
stuck? Oh, no.
It must've got crunched when
we jumped on to the beach.
All right. I'm hoping
one of these is reverse.
It'll be the one that
makes us go backwards.
Thanks. (THUD)
It's him. The brakes,
Bob, the brakes.
I'm stepping on the brakes.
LINDA: He's gonna
push us into the hole.
GENE: Crime hole.
BOB: Oh, God. Kids, hold on.
Oh, no, no, no.
BOB: Everybody okay?
ALL: Yeah.
Someone must have seen that.
He shoots, he scores.
Yay! Oh, whoops.
Oh, no. What's happening?
He's burying us.
We gotta get out
of here right now.
(GRUNTING) Open! Open!
Open! Open! Open!
Come on, clam,
let us out of you!
Okay, I'm gonna try and
break the windshield.
Everybody, move back.
How are we supposed
to move back?
I don't know. (GRUNTING)
Okay, now pound for real.
I am pounding for real.
It won't break.
It's thick glass.
I'm gonna try and use my legs.
(GRUNTS) I can't get my legs up.
It's fine. You're
just a bulldozer.
A lobster bulldozer pushing
some dirt into a hole.
Not onto a family.
No, far from it.
Just fixing the street like
a helpful little lobster.
Oh, my God. We're
being buried alive
in a hole in front
of our restaurant.
This is my nightmare.
We're living my nightmare.
Phones. We can use our
phones. Where are they?
Grover took our phones.
Holy crap. Oh, God. (HUFFS)
Kids, hold my hands.
Where are your hands?
Where are your hands?
And put that memory in a
place you don't think about.
Now, let's get
back to the wharf,
launch my cousins into the sea,
and we're back on track, baby.
BOB: Okay, I gotta think.
I don't wanna breathe
all of our oxygen. LINDA: Oh!
BOB: Yeah, not
to scare anybody,
but, um, don't breathe too much.
LINDA: I'm gonna
stop breathing.
You kids breathe my
BOB: No, Lin, just...
That's hard. How
long was that?
LOUISE: Like, five minutes.
TINA: I think I could breathe
less if it wasn't so dark.
GENE: I have something that
will make people breathe less.
ALL: Oh, Gene. I'm
sorry, it's a fear fart.
LOUISE: Oh! I have my
Kuchi Kopi night light.
ALL: Ah! No.
Ah. No.
Ugh! Stay on, Kuchi.
It's your one job!
GENE: This is like
the worst rave.
Sorry, sorry, sorry. Bye.
Well, he's officially my
least favorite cousin.
What about Baxter? He's dead.
Yeah, but he's still the worst.
That's true.
Okey dokey. Submarine
launch, check.
All right. Fuse.
So glad I made a
to-do list. (SNORTS)
Damn it.
Oh, good.
Oh, my God.
I'm doin' it
I'm doin' it
I'm doin' it
BOB: I can't break it.
LOUISE: This is all my fault.
Well, don't everybody
speak at once.
LINDA: No, honey, it's
not your fault. That much.
LOUISE: It is though.
I wanted to track
down the killer
and save the restaurant
and prove... (SIGHS)
prove I wasn't a baby.
Oh! Now you come on.
Oh, my baby. I mean, sorry.
No, stupid Chloe Barbash
was right. I am a baby.
I was too scared
to go in the hole,
I was too scared to open
the secret nipple door.
Tina had to do it for me,
and I wear these frickin' ears.
I mean, if you're brave,
you don't have to
prove you're brave.
You just are brave.
BOB: What? Louise,
you're brave.
You're one of the
bravest people I know.
LOUISE: It's not true.
Also, you don't know
that many people.
BOB: Hmm.
LOUISE: I've never been
brave. Come on, the ears?
The only reason I got
these in the first place
was because I was scared.
What do you mean?
LOUISE: You know.
You gave them to me
'cause I was scared about
the first day of preschool.
That's not how it happened.
I mean, you were nervous,
and we had this idea
to make you the hat.
Your mother made it.
It's sort of in honor of my mom,
your grandmother.
She used to wear this
brightly-colored winter hat.
Even in warm weather.
It was a little weird.
But it was kinda cute, I guess.
She always said it was
'cause she didn't feel
like doing her hair.
I think she just liked it.
And I had extra material,
so, uh, rabbit ears.
But I made them after your
first day at preschool.
To celebrate. Because
you were so brave.
LOUISE: Really? I was?
BOB: Do you not
remember it that way?
BOB: Yeah, you
didn't need them.
LINDA: You were plenty
brave, with no hat at all.
We were so proud of you.
You slapped a kid.
LOUISE: I did?
LINDA: Yeah. Probably for
a good reason, let's say.
BOB: You remind me
of my mom, Louise.
And with the hat,
it's kinda like
you two have met.
I keep forgetting
that you never did.
GENE: I wore that bucket
on my head for a while.
Any fun stories about that?
BOB: No, I don't remember
any. We were concerned.
LOUISE: Well, thanks.
For the hat and stuff.
BOB: Yep. Glad we
could clear that up,
since we're dying. (ALL GROAN)
I mean, since we're
just hanging out,
alive, under the ground.
I'm gonna push on the
window with my head.
This is not working.
LINDA: That's it
then. We're goners.
BOB: Wait, no,
don't you give up.
LINDA: I'm tired, Bob.
BOB: No, you never give up.
I give up. And then you
say, "don't give up."
And I say, "okay,"
and then we do
that over and over,
and now that I'm
saying it out loud,
that can't be fun for you.
Oh, God, do you want a
divorce before we die?
I don't deserve you.
can stick it out.
BOB: Listen to me, I'm gonna
do for you what you do for me.
I am not giving up. We
are gonna get outta here.
I am gonna Linda this.
ALL: Whoa! Dad,
are you Fonzie?
Yeah, you made the
little koko puffs go on.
Koochi Koochi? No.
Well, the light's helpful,
because we are gonna
get out of here.
In a really cool way
that's gonna come to us.
I mean, we're in a car, kind of.
What if we drive?
Where? Down?
Like, to China?
I like it. I like it.
Not to China.
But no bad ideas. I mean...
Oh. Down.
What if we do drive
down? LINDA: What?
We're on top of the water main.
The new section of pipe is
plastic. We lost a tire.
Maybe metal grinding
against plastic. Metal wins?
Grinding like sexy dancing?
What's that?
Never mind. Go on.
So the wheel breaks the pipe,
and the water gets
us out somehow?
Or it could do the
other thing water does.
Hot Tub Time Machine?
No. Drown us.
Oh, well, I never
saw the movie, so...
(SIGHS) I think this
is our only chance.
I'm turning it on.
Oh, Bobby, kids,
I want you all to know
how much I love you.
I love you too, Mom.
I love all you mama-jamas.
I love all of you, too.
We don't have to, like,
do any kind of order,
why even bring that up?
Okay, I'm worried
the "I love yous"
are the kind of thing you
say when we're gonna die,
and we are not gonna die!
Bob! Linda! Are you up there?
Oh, looks like they started
filling in your hole.
Not well, at all.
Jeesh, they just kind of
shoved some dirt in there...
(YELPS) What the...
BOB: It worked. TINA: Yes.
Oh, my sweet babies.
So glad we're not dead.
I'm happy. I'm thrilled.
You guys, the Fischoeders,
in the submarine,
with the wharf falling on them.
What do we do? What do we do?
(GRUNTS) It's still
Teddy, help us outta here.
(MUFFLED) The thing won't open.
Did you guys get a new car?
I've never seen this before.
seen this before?
Teddy, we need you to help us
open this. The thing is stuck.
This thing is stuck.
(MUFFLED) It's stuck.
I can't open it.
What'd he say? I do not know.
So, bad news, the
burger cart fell apart.
It was just too
beautiful for this world.
Nothing. No idea
what he's saying.
LOUISE: Well, Teddy left.
Long story. I'll
tell you later.
(YELLING) Olive bar!
What did he say? Olive bar.
BOB: Yes. LOUISE: Yes.
GENE: Wham-bam, goodbye, clam.
Thank you, Teddy.
Olive bar! Yeah,
yeah. No, I know.
Dad, you have a pee spot.
That's not a pee
spot. It's from water.
See? All the water?
But thanks, Tina.
It's right where a
pee spot would be.
And no other parts are wet.
Um, okay. So, Teddy,
call the police.
Kids, stay here.
Uh, Linda, stay with the kids.
I'm gonna run down to the wharf,
and try and help the
Fischoeders not get killed.
Um, good plan.
Wait, why are you following me?
We're not. Okay, but you are.
No, we're not. Bye, Bob.
Yeah, and maybe mind
your own business, Dad?
Hello? Is this the police?
I'd like to report a
thing. A thing happened.
You need more than
that? Hold on.
My good friend, Linda's
gonna talk to you.
She's married to my
best friend. Hello?
Climbing through the window.
Hmm? Hmm? Oh.
Come on, someone
moved the thing?
(SIGHS) I do have
three-hour gym body.
TEDDY: Grover Fischoeder wants
to destroy the whole pier?
LOUISE: Yeah, to
build a mega-park.
LINDA: With gift shops.
TEDDY: Oh, gift shops.
LINDA: I know, but
not worth it, right?
TEDDY: Yeah, no.
Right, right, right.
BOB: Where's the fuse?
Where's the fuse?
Where's the fuse? There!
BOB: Oh, my God. All right.
Give me your night
light for a sec.
I'm gonna see if
I can climb down.
I didn't even know I
was still holding it.
I guess I need a night light
everywhere I go. That's great.
Louise. It's fine, it's fine.
Don't mess him up. Oh.
LINDA: That is terrifying.
Yeah, you'd think it
would be comforting.
Everybody, please
get out of here.
LINDA: Bob, don't do it.
I don't want you
to catch on fire.
I don't think you'd like it.
Just get away from the wharf.
Don't worry. I'll be
fine. I can make it.
Okay, you're too
positive right now.
Maybe take it down a notch?
Big jump!
Look at him go.
I mean, kind of.
He's not used to
this much physical...
Um, Dad, go faster.
GENE: Do you need your
workout mix? If you had one?
(GRUNTS) No, I'm
good. Thank you.
(WHIRRING) Dad! Dad,
get off the track.
I'm gonna ride the ride down.
Not the best time
for going on rides.
Louise, no. It's
too dangerous.
LOUISE: Dad, you're not
gonna make it in time.
But the track goes
right past the fuse.
I'm gonna grab it when I go by.
No, I'm gonna make it.
I'm starting to get
good at this. Oh!
Oh, boy. Oh.
Oh, my God.
Come on, Mole.
Don't be so slow.
Still faster than you,
Dad, though. No offense.
Yeah, but there's a
wicked turn coming up.
There it is.
Oh, Louise, be careful.
Don't get decapitated
and then burned up.
I won't. Whoa!
Dad, you look like
you're about to climb
right in front of me?
Nope, I'm gonna leap
across really quickly.
(GRUNTS) Oh, God.
Not that quickly.
Get off the track!
BOB: Oh, it's getting
close to the animals.
Okay, got it.
If you miss, we won't
have a second chance.
I know. Very helpful
info. Thank you.
BOB: You might have been right
about your way being faster.
I mean, just a lot of beams.
This place is
over-engineered, I think.
I'm excited to talk about
this with you later.
Come on, little arms.
Oh, no. Oh, God.
(GASPS) Did you get it?
Or are we all dead?
Yes. ALL: Yeah!
I did it? I did it!
I'm brave! I'm brave!
LINDA: You sure are, honey.
I am brave!
And super humble!
Hey, Dad! Good work
to both of you.
you. Thank you.
I'm gonna miss that
pier. And being alive.
And you, my friend. Aw.
Got ya. Ow!
You owe me a thousand dollars.
Let's play for two. Switch.
I'm gonna miss you too, pal.
I've always looked
up to... Got ya.
Poop it. (GRUNTS)
Play for three? Got ya. Ow!
I hope you suffocate first.
(THUD) That's interesting.
I wonder if that's a giant
squid trying to mate withus.
Well, it could do a lot worse.
BOTH: We're gonna
live, la, la, la
We're gonna live, la, la, la
We're gonna live, la, la,
We're gonna
live, la, la, la
LINDA: Aw, they're singing.
Ooh, uh, Teddy, can I borrow
your phone real quick?
Uh, here. Yeah, sure.
(GASPS) Are you
ordering takeout?
Can we get traditional
Thai street food
from that new place?
No, I'm not ordering
takeout. Sorry.
Oh, boo.
Yeah, a lot of people
think of Robbery
as kind of the coolest
division, you know?
Where the cool cops
I don't know if that's true.
But, uh, you know, lot
of people think it.
Bye, front desk person.
You were here when I came in
three hours ago, weren't you?
I remember your, uh,
shirt. (CHUCKLES)
You probably remember me
too, right? This face?
You're not looking
up. There you go.
You remember this ugly mug,
right? You have earbuds in.
Did you hear anything
I said? Oh, you did.
Good. Anyway, this
is Grover Fischoeder
saying good night.
Hi, there. First on
the scene. No biggie.
I beat you. And you.
I beat you too.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
How're you feeling,
buddy? You nervous?
Oh, no. It just
feels like my insides
are fighting to get
out of my bottom hole.
Hey, listen, you're
gonna be great.
Uh-huh. Or we're gonna be
bad and insides out on stage.
You know, I heard you guys
practicing in the basement
when I was cleaning
up last night.
You did? Yeah.
And you sounded great.
Parts were great.
And your music, it
makes you happy,
right? Yeah.
Well, it's gonna make
other people happy, too.
So maybe you should be
un-stop-timistic about it.
Mom says that. Yeah.
So, you're stealing.
I say it now, too.
Also, she's helping
Tina with her wig,
so I have to try and
say what she would say.
Take her material.
Yes. Come here.
(GRUNTS) Thanks, Dad!
Just have fun up there.
That's such a shorter pep talk.
Let me hear you say...
me hear you say...
Twist it, twirl
it, cook it, bake it
Do your thing
You say...
Yeah, shake those
little burger buns
Okay. Got it! Good!
Here is a check for all
the money we owe you.
For this month. BOB:
Yeah, for this month.
Thanks to our very
grateful landlord.
I still think he's
not grateful enough.
That's true. He could
be even more grateful.
But still, signing it.
This doesn't look right.
Is that my signature?
Uh, let's just say yes.
So there, we did it,
Mr. Bank. (GRUNTS)
Please don't call me Mr. Bank.
Sorry. People aren't usually
so cocky when they make their
very late loan payments.
Well, get used to it.
One more. (GRUNTS) Ow.
Hey, Tina.
Oh, hey, Jimmy Jr. Happy
last day of school.
Thanks. You too.
So, I was doing parkour
down on the beach with Zeke,
we're really good at parkouring,
or I'm really good
at parkouring.
Anyway, I found this.
(GASPS) It made me think of you.
Maybe because you have
the same kind of barrette.
Do you want it? It
smells like seaweed.
Jimmy Jr.? Yeah?
There's something I
wanted to ask you.
Something summer
But then I thought maybe
it was a stupid question
for anyone to ask anyone ever.
heart was an idiot...
Oh. ZEKE: Rolling, rolling.
I'm doing parkour off the
locker, Jay-Ju. You see me?
It looked a little
awkward, Zeke.
I'm working on it! Yow-za!
(LAUGHS) You fell off the wall.
Yeah, what am I looking at here?
ZEKE: Parkour!
Uh, what were you saying?
Oh, I was saying, I thought
my heart was an idiot.
But then you found
my barrette-clace.
And now it kinda makes me think
maybe there's only no
romance in the world
if you believe there's
no romance in the world.
And who wants to believe that?
Now, I don't know
why I got so hung up
on the question I
was gonna ask anyway.
Mostly, I just
really wanna do this.
Whoa. Yeah.
CHLOE: You're not gonna do it.
LOUISE: I'm gonna do it.
You think because you,
like, saved the wharf
or something, you're
all brave now?
Yeah. On three.
One, two, three.
(ALL GASP) Your hat fell off.
LOUISE: Hmm? Oh, yeah.
Louise, reminding you that
you have detention today
because you skipped school.
Oh, my God, your ears fell off!
Okay. It's okay. What
do we do? What do we do?
It's fine. It's
not a big deal.
Emergency counsel session?
I can get puppets here so fast.
Ms. Labonz, will
you go to my office
and get Security Blanket Hank
and, oh, just
get them all. No.
Mr. Frond, I'm good.
Oh, really? MS.
LaBONZ: She's good.
Okay. I'm so proud of
you. LOUISE: Don't say
"you're so proud of me." Yep.
Is everybody ready
to do this again?
Sure, Father.
LOUISE: I mean, it seems
like you're making us.
Teddy did a good job.
Kind of. Right?
LINDA: Aw, banner.
I love banners.
GENE: Are we dead
set on "Burgers"?
I mean, is it too
late to change that?
TINA: Oh, yeah.
We could do wraps.
LOUISE: Or soup.
BOB: Mm. LINDA: Mm, soup.
GENE: Bob's Soup and Wraps
has a certain sound to it.
BOB: Oh, my God.
Everyone, back inside,
back inside. Never mind.
KIDS: Thank you, Wonder Wharf!
What a journey!
(CHEERING) Yeah! All right!
Finally. Now, we can bring
out Johnny Jazz Hands.
Oh, goody.
JIMMY JR.: Uh, Tina, it's
a little crowded, isn't it?
TINA: No, it's fine. Shh, shh.
JIMMY JR.: Okay. It's
just that I... (GRUNTS)