The Boy Downstairs (2017) Movie Script

[music playing]
[heavy breathing]
[door opening]
Uh, what's going on?
I... I brought you your sweater
because I'm leaving tomorrow.
DIANA: Hey, where are you?
GABBY: Uh, I'm
buying toilet paper.
Are you here?
That was so quick.
Yeah, Gab, my flight
landed, like, two hours ago.
Where are you?
GABBY: I'm close.
How was your flight?
Uh, yeah, it was OK.
I sort of sat next to
this guy with this,
like, severe peanut allergy.
So I spent the
entire flight trying
to convince myself
that, uh, my throat
couldn't spontaneously close.
- GABBY: Really?
- Where are you?
I really have to pee.
I have to pee so bad.
Oh, my God.
Oh, hey.
Thank you, dear.
Um, so I've been
looking at apartments.
And, uh, they all look
like crime scenes.
So there's that.
I actually think
I have a friend
who's a real estate agent now.
You don't know her.
You... you have a
friend that I don't know?
Yeah, Meg Jones, she was my
study friend in art history.
She's actually very funny.
I don't have her number
anymore, but I could email her.
Yeah, yeah, that
would be great.
Why don't you email her?
And then you guys can hang out.
And then, you know,
because she's so funny,
you'll just become best friends.
And I'll, um, die alone.
D, she's old news.
You're my one and only.
You promise?
But can you actually email her,
in all seriousness, because I...
I need to find an apartment?
Yeah, you got it.
Because I'm
basically homeless.
All right.
(SINGING) Maybe I can have
a ball and paint the town,
live it up for
laughs and call my...
I love it.
Oh, great.
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
I think I want it in pink.
Oh, actually, we only make
the dresses in white or ivory.
I don't understand.
Um, we only make the
dresses in white or ivory.
Why not?
I thought they
were made to order.
Yes, they are
made to order, uh,
but we make the dress as is.
And then we can do
slight alterations,
like adding a modesty
panel or lowering the back.
But, um, the fabric is set in
order to maintain the integrity
of the designer's vision.
So you're telling me I
can add a modesty panel
and lower the back, but
I can't have it in pink?
Uh, ye... um, yes,
that's correct.
Well, I don't want a lower
back or a modesty panel.
I just want it in pink.
I feel like she's not
even listening to me.
WOMAN: This is ridiculous.
She doesn't know what
she's talking about.
Can we have it in lavender?
Hi, Meg.
It's Diana.
I'm so sorry I'm late.
Yeah, no problem.
Shall we?
Yeah, um, I just...
I'm never late.
But I'm on my lunch break.
I work in this bridal store.
And this bride spent, like, 10
minutes picking out this veil
that she didn't even buy.
So, um, I murdered her.
And, uh, then I came right here.
MEG: The bathroom and kitchen
were renovated six years ago,
but the style is consistent.
What do you think?
I mean, it's...
it's great.
Well, you can fill this out,
and I will give it to Amy.
She's a little picky about who
she lets into the building.
But if she's interested, I will
set up a meeting for you two.
Thank you.
Do you think it's an
issue that I'm on parole?
I was just...
I just made a stupid joke
about being on parole, but...
Is there anything
else you'd like to see?
Uh, no, I think I'm good.
OK, well, thank
you for coming in.
Yeah, thank you
for having me in.
Thank you.
And then when I was 29,
I played a mobster's wife...
Thank you. this little
play on Broadway.
And I met my husband,
Patrick, the director.
And long story short, we
took over this property
from his mom.
And at that point,
it was verging
on a retirement community.
I mean, we were the
youngest by 20 years.
So a few years ago, I
decided I didn't want a bunch
of old people in the building.
Mm, so you killed them?
I like to think
of it as euthanasia.
I don't know.
Just being the only old broad
here makes me feel young.
You are not old.
I am not getting any younger.
Neither am I. I mean, I
found a full-length gray hair
the other day, so I get it.
I saved it, if you
want to see it.
No, thank you.
That's OK.
So you're a writer?
Yeah, uh, yes, I'm trying.
I'm trying to be a writer.
I am... I work in a
bridal store, you
know, to actually make money.
You know, I was a
waitress for seven years
before I made any real
money as an actress.
I think it's the
nature of the beast.
That's very
reassuring to hear.
Are you acting in
anything right now?
No, um, I... my husband
passed away a few years ago.
And, um, he passed
away a few years ago.
And so I am just busy taking
care of the building for now.
You do an amazing job.
It's... it's so beautiful.
Well, thank you.
You know what?
I like you, Diana.
The apartment is
yours if you want it.
I would love that.
I think we should hug.
Let's hug.
Yeah, yeah, OK.
[music playing]
Hi, Ben.
Um, you ready?
Yeah, yes, born
ready, uh, except
I think that it's
supposed to rain in a bit.
Oh, no, no, no, no, it...
it's going to be OK, yeah.
I looked into it.
Well, great.
Yeah, internet.
Oh, I was going to ask you.
I knew a guy, but
internet, that makes sense.
I know a guy
named the Internet.
Here, if I turn, I'm
having a little trouble
with the directional, uh...
- I think you're doing great.
- Yeah?
I'm good.
It's just these... these
oars seem, like, really old.
Very old, very old
oars, terribly old.
- Um, this is good.
- Great.
Are you hungry?
This is, like, a real date, huh?
I mean, we're on a
boat in Prospect Park,
and your brought a picnic.
How am I doing?
You're doing all right.
This is, uh, our table.
Lovely, beautiful table.
Um, I... I should
probably warn you,
though, I am an
incredibly picky eater.
Oh, yeah, I know.
Uh, I saw you picking
olives and peppers
off your pizza at the party.
Oh, you, uh, saw that?
That's embarrassing.
Um, right, I hate olives and
peppers, which is why I was
removing them from my pizza.
Yeah, I know.
Uh, I figured.
This is a box full
of olives and peppers.
It's not.
Great, that's great.
You know, I really like you.
I really like you, too.
Do you want some more wine?
Yes, please.
[phone vibrating]
Hey, what's up?
Ben lives here.
Uh, in my building
downstairs, Ben lives in my,
uh, building downstairs.
yep, Ben Wineburger
lives in my building.
I just saw him.
Oh, my God, what did you say?
Yeah, I mean, like, I just
saw him through his window.
He didn't see me see him.
I just... you know, I just
saw him through his window.
That's so crazy.
You know, Stephanie Jacobs
moved into her ex-boyfriend's
building in college.
And Daisy Debrell lived in the
same building as her ex also,
but I think they
were neighbors first.
Right, um, do I go say hi?
Um, hey, D, I, uh, I gotta go.
Why don't you go to sleep, and...
and we'll talk
about it tomorrow?
- But, Gabby...
- You're fine.
I love you.
What's up?
Is it hot in here?
Hey, do you like Radiohead?
Yeah, do you want to...
do you want to
put on some music?
No, I was just wondering.
[phone vibrating]
We have a delivery
downstairs for Diana.
Oh, shit.
Um, yeah, I'll be right down.
I'll be right down.
Excuse me.
Are you Diana?
No, I'm a man.
Are you Diana?
What... what are you
doing in my building?
Uh, yeah, I live here now.
Uh, I... I... too, I
live here now, too.
I... I'm moving in.
Lady, we have a lot
of deliveries after you.
So can we, you know, get moving?
Of course, I'm so sorry.
Uh, second floor,
the door is open.
I'm going to come down.
I'll come down.
- Hi.
- Hi.
You got glasses.
Yeah, I, uh, stopped
wearing contacts.
Right, that...
that makes sense.
Um, I started
eating tomatoes again.
So that's my news.
So what's happening?
Right, so I
didn't know that you
lived here until I saw your
name on the mailbox last night.
I, um, I found the apartment
through Gabby's friend, Meg.
From Meg?
Yes, she's a...
a real estate agent lady.
OK, um, are you staying?
Uh, yeah?
I... I mean, yes.
I mean, um, I...
I know it's kind of bizarre.
But I feel like worst
things have happened,
you know, like, people
dying of cancer or world
poverty or mass suicide.
Of course.
I'm aware of, like,
poverty, Diana.
No, I know.
I'm just saying, I feel like we
can handle living in a building
- together.
- Yeah, I can...
I can handle it, too.
I can handle it.
It's just weird.
Well, do you want
to maybe sit down
later and... and have
coffee or something
and make it less weird?
So we're neighbors?
Yes, yep, we're neighbors.
Maybe let's just
leave it at that.
Yeah, for sure.
I... I gotta go.
Yeah, OK, yeah,
I'll see you around.
Or I won't see you around.
Or it was... yeah, we'll...
I don't understand.
He brought a boat?
He rented one at the park, Gabs.
It's, like, a thing people do.
It was super cheesy,
but also kind of...
I mean, it was...
it was cute.
Is Ben your new boyfriend?
No... no, no, what are we, 10?
He is not my new boyfriend.
A, we've been on one date.
Uh, and I'm leaving, so...
Oh, my God, in,
like, six months.
You always do this.
Do what?
D, maybe let's just, like,
wait a minute and enjoy this.
You know?
Don't think so much.
Let's go say hi.
I wouldn't say we
hooked up, but we kissed.
Like, there was a bridge.
A bridge?
Did you get, like, a
handjob under the bridge?
No, man, no.
What are you talking about?
Like, a dry handjob
under the bridge.
- I don't know what that is.
- They're very underrated.
- Dude, shut up.
- Hi.
- Hi, Ben.
- Hi, what's up?
How are you doing?
What's going on?
Thank you guys for coming.
What's up?
How are you guys
enjoying yourselves?
- Taking it all in.
- Mm-hmm, take it in.
- Take it in.
- Who's the artist again?
My friend, Marie,
she's from Beirut.
She's very cool.
She's cool as shit.
Mm-hmm, all right.
Have you guys been inside
the installation yet?
Uh, no, not yet.
Well, OK, Ben and Diana
are going to go inside.
And, uh, Gabby and
I are gonna get,
uh, we're gonna get a drink.
- I'm thirst... I'm thirsty.
- OK.
I need to get one now.
You're thir... you're thirsty.
Do you want to accompany
me to the little room?
Absolutely, let's...
let's find our way.
To the little room.
Are we in a '70s fever dream?
Is that what... like, did
we accidentally do acid?
Oh, I'm on acid.
- You are?
- Yeah.
Oh, good, OK,
so I'm not alone.
- No, no, no, no.
- OK.
I think I'm going to go
down for a nap, actually.
I think I could
comfortably sleep in here.
Certainly have, like,
vivid nightmares, but...
Terri... terrifying nightmares.
Yeah, you... yeah.
Do you want to get
dinner maybe, like,
before the acid wears off?
It'll be, like, crazy.
Yeah, let's get dinner.
my roommates are asleep.
OK, I'll be quiet.
Do you want to go to my room?
OK, this way.
[music playing quietly]
[bottle whistling]
Do you want... do
you want to make out?
Do I have to move?
No, no, you
don't have to move.
Of course not, woman up.
Yeah, you're right.
- I'm not moving.
- No.
Nobody's moving.
We're both adults.
We can handle being neighbors.
GABBY: Yeah.
You're mature.
Yeah, we can be friends.
I just can't believe he didn't
want to catch up, you know?
Did he seem upset?
Hmm-mm, no, I told you.
He just seemed cold.
He was probably shocked.
Yeah, no, I... yeah, he
was definitely shocked.
But I just feel
like it's really...
it's awkward because I...
I don't know.
I feel like he really
didn't want me here.
He's probably still
in love with you.
He's not still
in love with me.
Oh, I think he might be.
DIANA: He is not.
I think he might be.
He's almost certainly
still in love with you.
Gabby, he's not.
Is he still in love with her?
He's not.
I just think that it's silly
that we can't be friendly.
Well, maybe he just doesn't
want to be friends with you.
You know what?
I would just let him be for now.
And don't push the friend thing.
It'll happen in time and...
Yeah, no, you're right.
You're right.
I'm just going to
be zen about it.
(SINGING) You said you want
to be the only man in my life.
You're keeping me for yourself.
If that's attention that you're
thinking of, to get love,
you've got to give love, baby.
To get love, you've
got to give love.
Now I don't want your
future, your appetite.
And I don't need,
boy, no one else.
Just as sure as there's a hea...
[music playing]
Are you testing fresh
batteries with your mouth?
You know what?
When you burn yourself on one
of the candles we have to light
when the power goes out,
I'm not gonna let you
partake in my emergency kit.
I mean, I just feel
like fresh batteries are...
you buy them with fresh energy.
You know, that's kind
of the point of...
of buying batteries new.
You know what?
I think my emergency kit and I
are just going to go somewhere
that we feel appreciated.
- No, no, hmm-mm, come on.
- No?
- Come on.
- Hmm-mm.
I need them for the birds.
No, too bad.
- No, for the birds.
- Too bad.
Please, for the birds.
I guess we're gonna
let you bleed out.
No, seriously, I
appreciate your preparedness.
- Come on.
- I don't think I believe you.
- I want to test a battery.
- You know what?
- I don't know if you're ready.
- No.
Are you ready?
No, I... I really do.
I want to...
I want to put it in my...
What do you want to...
what do you want to
do with the battery?
I want to put it in my mouth.
Oh, well, all right.
Oh, that's good.
That is good.
I also filled the
bath tub up with water.
You did?
Yeah, just in case
they shut the water off.
My bathroom?
So we, um, water to flush the
toilet or for drinking water.
Oh, for both of those.
For both.
And I got...
From the same bathtub. wipes for
our body, yeah.
You got baby wipes?
- Yeah.
- I love baby wipes.
I know.
That's why I got them.
I carry them, like, in my...
in my tote bag.
What, in your tote bag?
[music stops]
- Oh, my God.
- It's happening.
You were right.
Are you warm enough?
Mm-hmm, just getting cozy.
So in my, um, sociology class...
Uh, our professor asked us to
write down our vision of life,
like, a exercise.
And, um...
That's super cheesy.
Yeah, I guess.
But I don't know.
It seemed like...
I don't know.
It just kind of
caught me off guard.
You know, does it make
you think of anything?
Um, no.
I don't know, no.
You don't have...
you don't have dreams?
You don't have
dreams in there?
I have dreams.
I have dreams.
And I don't like to
say them out loud.
I don't know.
Um, OK, when I was
in the fourth grade,
I had this epic, epic crush
on this boy named Dale.
His name was Dale?
Yes, his name was Dale.
Anyway, I planned to take
this secret with me to my grave.
But then Stephanie Jacobs
had this slumber party.
And we were playing
truth or dare.
And she asked me point blank,
do you have a crush on Dale?
And I had to say yes.
And then on Monday,
she told everybody,
including Dale, who came up to
me at recess and asked me out.
But it was a joke.
And then he started laughing.
And then all of his
friends started laughing.
And then everyone was laughing.
And then he, um, pantsed me.
Oh, my God.
That... he pantsed you?
Dale is an asshole.
I know, totally.
But he did teach me, um,
the invaluable lesson
that the only way to protect
yourself from deep pain
and humiliation
is just to, like,
bury your feelings
deep within your soul
and never let them out.
That's horrible.
I'm just... I'm kidding.
I'm... I mean, I'm...
I'm OK.
You're doing great.
Do you... do you need a cuddle?
Sure, I'll...
Like, a little one?
I'll... I'll take
a little cuddle,
only a little one, though, OK?
Do you want to know what
my vision for life was?
Yeah, sure.
You're gonna make fun of me.
I don't know.
I kind of want, like,
what my parents have,
like, I don't know, being
with someone for decades
and still being in love.
I'm sorry.
Is Ben moving?
Oh, OK.
Um, sorry.
Uh, why are you here?
Uh, Ben?
BEN: Yeah, is it the pizza?
Um, yeah, I was just
wondering if you knew what
was going on with the, um...
It's a scheduled power cut.
They're doing
maintenance on the lines.
Yeah, they... they
sent out a letter.
I should, um, probably
check my mail more often.
I'm sorry.
Are you... are you guys dating?
Cool, great, that's cool.
I'm sorry.
Did... did you know
that we dated when
you showed me the apartment?
Right, because
that would be crazy.
Yeah, obviously,
I didn't know.
[awkward laugh]
Yeah, well, goodnight.
- Yeah.
- Goodnight.
- Enjoy your pizza...
- Goodnight.
...when it arrives.
- Yeah, all right.
- See ya.
This is disgusting.
Why did you make me get this?
It's so good.
It's disgusting.
You're crazy.
I am not crazy.
You're bananas.
Um, what's going on with Ben?
Um, nothing, what do you mean?
Like, have you talked to
him or Meg since the blackout?
Uh, no, I haven't
really seen them around.
What's happening with Marcus?
Mm, nothing, he's an asshole.
Well, yes, for any
specific reason this time?
I texted him high,
like, four weeks ago,
and he never replied.
So, yeah, done with him.
Do you promise?
Yes, I'm serious.
OK, I believe you.
He's just so
friggin' charming.
And when we're together,
he's very complimentary.
Gabs, I get it.
But it's not real, and then
it goes away really fast.
And it leaves you
feeling like shit.
And you're settling,
and you know it.
- I should get back to work.
- OK.
I love you.
I love you.
I'll see you later.
I'd date you if I was a boy.
Treat you better than Marcus.
Oh, it's good to see you.
You, too.
How was London?
Oh, it was great.
London was great.
How are you?
Good, listen.
The short stories
you sent me were
very funny and very engaging.
That's so great
to hear from you.
Thank you.
But this... this is not short.
Uh, no.
This is a novel.
Yeah, I hope so.
I am assuming it's a
work in progress, yes?
Oh, yes, yes, 100%.
Because right now, the
story seems scattered.
OK, yeah.
Firstly, the character,
I don't understand
her motivation for anything.
I mean, the friendship
part is very good.
It's fleshed out.
It's very nice.
But that man...
He just seems like a jerk.
Why don't we go
through specifics.
- OK.
- All right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what?
Let's start at the top, even
this just whole beginning.
- So send me your next draft.
- I will, I promise.
Thank you, Susan.
(SINGING) I can take you higher.
I can take you home.
They have candy corn here.
What's wrong?
I just... I don't
understand who has
a rooftop party for Halloween.
It's October.
It's freezing.
I'm fine.
Um, I did see some really cute
boys in line for the bathroom.
How cute?
Like, really cute.
Like potential
husband material cute?
Tonight could be the night.
I mean, I feel like tonight
probably is the night.
We'll just turn this night
upside down and make it...
Oh, my God, Marcus is here.
...the night we
meet our husbands.
I'm Eliot.
I admit, that
was kind of creepy.
Well, it's Halloween.
Chin chin.
Chin chin, it's,
like, a British thing.
Sure, sure.
So do you have any,
like, hobbies or...
Uh, yep, yeah.
Um, I have hobbies.
They, um, are I...
I like to eat.
OK, controversial.
Hey, hey.
Oh, my God, how are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
Great, yeah, really good,
it's so good to see you.
You seem weird.
Are you... are you...
are you OK?
No, I'm... I'm fine.
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
Would you, uh, do you want
to come over to my place
or whatever or...
Uh, I... I can't.
- I'm here with Diana.
- Oh, come on.
I miss you.
Well, how about we go
on a date next Friday?
I... uh, next Friday, I just...
I've got some plans.
But, I mean, maybe definitely
afterwards, like, I could...
you know, you could like
come through my crib.
Or, like, I could call you or...
Yeah, OK, just let me know.
Um, I'm gonna get some candy.
Do you want anything?
No, I'm...
I'm good.
Just hurry back.
You don't have any interest
in dating only me, do you?
Oh, uh...
No, it's OK.
It's fine.
I just... I'm having the
realization right now
that... that this is
never going to be
anything more than what it is.
And... and that's fine.
But I'm going to opt out.
Can I just say one more thing?
You're not a bad guy.
But just so you know,
saying that you miss me
or that you really
like me, that is
what makes you not a good guy.
So don't call me, OK?
Yeah, OK.
So, anyway, that was when
I realized that I would
just never live like my father.
You know what I'm saying?
It was a...
moment for Oh, my
God, I'm so sorry.
...big moment for me.
Adriana, oh, my
God, this is crazy.
Oh, is that...
does she want to hang or...
Oh, well, look who it is.
- Julian.
- Diana.
- Hi.
- Hey.
What's up?
How are you?
Good, how are you?
I'm good.
Yeah, I'm good.
Ben told me you moved
into his building.
Yes, that happened, yes.
It's weird, right?
Excuse me?
It's weird for you to do that.
It's kind of, like, a crazy
ex-girlfriend thing to do.
I mean, I didn't know that
he live there in the building.
How would you?
How would you?
Exactly, exactly, how would I?
I don't know.
I gotta go.
But, uh, it was
great seeing you.
Hey, you OK?
Tonight wasn't the night, huh?
No, yeah, you want to go
get drunk somewhere else?
- Yes, great, please.
- Let's do it.
Lead the way, Marie.
[doorbell ringing]
Happy Halloween.
I tripped over a package.
It is addressed to Ben.
Um, this package for...
this is Ben's package.
I just brought it to Ben to
avoid, uh, further dangers.
All right.
So no more trips.
It's for Ben.
I'll give it to him.
Like I just said,
uh, this is Benjamin
Wineburger to set down.
I will give it to him.
OK, so great.
I'll trade you for
the candy, all right?
Oh, I don't know
what to do with this.
All right, I'm sorry.
This is banana flavored.
Hey, can we slow down?
No, my dad hates
it when I'm late.
Also, uh, make sure
to shake his hand,
like, super firmly because
he hates a weak handshake.
OK, yeah, I...
I have a good handshake.
Just super firm.
- OK, yeah, I mean...
- Um, also...
...I don't want to hurt him.
...make sure you
enunciate, because he really
hates it when people mumble.
I don't... I don't mumble.
I'm not a... I'm not a mumbler.
I mean, I...
- I say things...
- OK.
...pretty clearly.
So, Ben, what
do you want to do?
I'm... I mean, I haven't
totally figured that out yet.
He... he wants
to work in music.
Definitely, still figuring
it out, I have ideas.
Um, I'm not as
organized as Diana.
Oh, yeah, we're
all really excited
about her London adventure,
especially her grandmother.
I mean, she sounds great.
I can't wait to meet her.
Oh, have you planned a trip?
Oh, no, not yet, but
I'd love to go, you know.
There's a ton of music stuff
happening there all the time.
So, you know, and, like,
historically with the Beatles
and, you know, just the
British invasion generally, um.
Do you think you
might move there?
Um, I don't know, maybe.
Hey, are you guys
ready to order?
I'm going to actually just
run to the bathroom quickly.
Oh, it... the bathroom is in
the back of the restaurant.
Oh, OK, great, thank you.
Yeah, I think we're
gonna need a minute.
That's fine.
OK, thank you.
So he might move with you?
I... I have no idea
where that came from.
I... yeah, I don't know
why he even said that.
We... we haven't discussed that.
Well, what have you discussed?
Nothing, really.
OK, well, you need
to think this through.
I know, Dad.
Because if he's thinking
about moving there for you...
Yeah, I know.
I just don't want you
to be in a situation
where you're rushing into
some big commitment at a time
when you should be
focusing on your writing...
Dad, I am focused.
...and yourself.
And I'm not saying
that you can't
find a way to make this work.
Just be sensible.
I don't want you to get stuck.
Mm, mm-hmm.
So, uh, they had some
mints in the bathroom.
I thought I'd, uh, for
later, you know, after,
after-brunch mints.
I'm just gonna...
I'll put them in my purse.
- Yeah, that's great.
- Do you want to order?
- Yeah, let's order.
- OK.
One, two, three, four,
you really just want to keep
your heart rate up for now.
And then after this, we'll do
some stretching and strength
Just follow along.
OK, hip rolls.
Oh, wait.
I have... I have a bit of news.
What is it?
Um, I have been
asked to be in a play.
It's just one night.
It's just a little benefit,
but I think it will be fun.
What's it about?
It's about a husband and
wife who... you know what?
I want you to be surprised.
- But will you come?
- Yes, I will come.
When is it?
In a month.
OK, this is amazing.
I'm going to
get us some water.
OK, I'd really
like some water.
- AMY: Keep hip rolling.
- All right.
AMY: Oh, could you get it?
What's up?
Uh, I just wanted to make
sure everything was OK.
I heard a lot of banging and...
Oh, yeah, uh, sorry.
Um, I'll put a yoga
mat down or something.
Great, thanks.
Do you think you could
back off Ben a little bit?
I'm sorry.
I am trying to
be cool with you.
I just am not an idiot,
and I see what you're
doing, always hanging around.
Um, yeah, I'm not, uh,
always hanging around.
I live here.
Uh, yeah, I can just
see you when you're
creeping outside his window.
Yeah, um, I'm sorry.
I really don't know what
you're talking about.
Um, I've been sweeping
out front as of late.
Maybe you've seen me
sweeping leaves, um,
but definitely not creeping.
Well, maybe you'll
stop jumping then.
Uh, yeah, we will totally...
we'll do our best
to keep it down.
Great, thanks.
MEG: Bye.
What did she want?
Uh, she's out of her mind.
AMY: What happened?
She think I'm creeping on Ben.
Are you creeping on Ben?
No, I'm not creeping on Ben.
Why is it a
crime to want to be
friends with your ex-boyfriend?
It's not a crime.
It's just a question.
Whatever, she's great.
[phone ringing]
Good morning, angel.
No, no, no, he's awake.
We had the best time last night.
Dad was just saying how
romantic it all was.
It was very, very
special for us.
OK, that sounds wonderful.
I'll see you in a
bit, sweet girl.
I love you.
No, I love you.
You were amazing.
Oh, you're crazy.
Thank you very much.
You were... these are for you.
Oh, they're... these
are so beautiful.
You are so beautiful.
Wow, wow, wow,
thank you very much.
I'm just relieved.
Would you... would you guys
like to come to the party?
I hear that there's going to
be cotton candy and steak.
Separately, of course,
but both delicious.
That is a dynamite
- That's amazing.
- Right?
Um, I would so love to,
but I have to work...
- Oh.
- ...early.
- OK.
- I'm sorry.
Yeah, I have to
work, too, Amy.
- I'm sorry.
- All right.
But you were...
you were so good.
Thank you.
You are... are so nice,
and get home safe.
And don't wait for me,
'cause I'm going to go party.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Go party so hardy.
- I'm going to.
You better.
- You deserve it.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Congrats.
Thank you so much
for coming, you guys.
All right.
I, um, well, I'm... we're
both going this way, right?
Do you want to...
Yeah, sure.
So hungry.
Yeah, me, too.
Um, listen.
We don't have to.
Uh, but I know this really
great Italian place.
It's just around the
corner, if you want to.
We don't... you know,
we don't have to.
Yeah, no, let's do it.
Yeah, OK.
Get... get Italian food.
Yeah, great, let's get... yeah,
it's just, um, it's up here.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
It's been so cold.
Yeah, uh, yeah,
yeah, it's almost...
almost winter, basically.
So how are you?
Oh, I'm...
I'm good.
- Good.
- Thanks.
Yeah, I hear you've been
making music, and... and that
it's going really well.
It's still a struggle.
But, yeah, I mean,
it's going pretty well.
I'm... I'm on the road.
You're touring?
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
I meant the figurative road.
I can see how that
would be misleading.
Um, I'm... I'm working
in commercials.
That's great.
Ben, that's great.
Yeah, I'm... I'm
really happy for you.
Thank you.
How are you?
Um, yeah, I'm...
I'm, um...
You guys want
anything to drink?
Uh, yes.
I would love a glass
of your house red
and just some lemon
for my water, please.
We have no lemons.
You don't have lemons?
I'm sorry.
But you have lemon
risotto on your menu.
WAITER: Lemons
only for the food.
So you do have lemons?
We do.
Do you want a lemon risotto?
No, thank you.
I... I just want a slice
of lemon for my water.
Well, the lemons
are only for the food.
Uh, OK, I... I will just
have the wine then, please.
Oh, yeah, I'll have...
I'll have the same.
OK, so two wines, zero lemons.
I wonder if they have lemons.
I wanted to ask him.
You should have asked.
He'll be back.
Nothing, I'm gonna do the bread.
Yeah, let's do the bread.
Dare I ask for butter?
- I wouldn't.
- Yeah, no.
I'm not gonna do it.
Butter is for cooking.
I mean, what's inside a banana
is... is the banana's business.
There's no name for it.
Oh, no, we don't...
we don't... just that's
not our business.
You're right.
OK, but how many A's
are there in banana?
Seriously, like...
Like, 15.
there are, like, 20.
- Yeah, 15...
- No, like, 20.
I get... I'm actually
being serious.
I get it.
I do this all the time when I...
like, when I'm reading.
I lose sight of
words completely.
- Right?
- Yes, yes.
- OK, so I'm not alone here.
- You're not alone in the world.
- Thank you.
- I'm...
- Thank you.
- I'm here.
I needed that.
Amy was incredible tonight.
Yeah, yeah, she's...
she's, like, really good.
Is, um, Meg just
not a theater fan?
Um, uh, we broke up.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, it's OK.
I, um, I didn't know.
I'm sorry.
No, it's... it's really OK.
Well, this is me.
This is you.
Uh, well, it was really
nice hanging out with you.
Yeah, um, yeah, I
had a really nice time.
No, Ben.
You know you flirt
with me, right?
I... no, I don't.
I thought... um, I thought
you had a girlfriend
until, like, 90 seconds ago.
OK, I don't get it.
I mean, what... what
do you want from me?
I... I just want
to be your friend.
OK, uh, I feel like...
I feel like we've
been through this.
I can't be friends with you.
Does my tongue
look weird to you?
(SINGING) I want to make
believe that you're here.
Uh, all tongues
look weird, Diana.
Yeah, no, I know.
But, like, why does it
have that brownish tint?
I think you... didn't
you just have coffee?
Or you're dying.
Oh, yeah.
You're probably dying.
Am I dying?
More than likely, I'm doing.
No, no, no, what
are you doing?
That is not a fun game.
It's not a fun game?
OK, OK, this is... this
is actually great.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Can I?
- Please, keep doing this.
- OK.
This is nice.
This is a friendly game.
(SINGING) I want to make
believe that you're here.
I won't let the image
of you disappear.
Well, why not?
Just because
you don't do that.
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
- Hello.
- Hi.
How are you?
Barry, nice to meet you.
How was your drive up?
It was lovely.
Here, meet...
meet... meet Diana.
Diana, I'm Shannon.
- And you are?
- Hello.
I'm Ben.
- Moisha.
- It was wonderful.
Moisha, nice to
see you, Moisha.
You look good.
You look very good.
- Thank you for having me.
- All right, let's go inside.
- Come on.
- Are you cold?
Any... any issues with the car?
- Oh, it smells so good.
- Uh, no.
- Did you check the oil?
- Was he a good driver?
- Did you get my text?
- Yes.
I... OK.
You're not supposed to
text him when he's driving.
[music playing]
(SINGING) Take my hand.
It's yours to hold.
Please, start.
Everybody, just dig in.
It looks very good.
Do you want some of this?
Uh, yeah.
Diana, these potatoes
are unbelievable.
I don't know how she does it.
Oh, thank you.
Butter, if it's good,
it's always butter.
That's so true.
Diana loves butta.
I do.
I don't like butter,
but I love butta.
Try the potatoes.
OK, let's see.
Oh, my God, these are so good.
That's why we've been
together for 30 years.
30 years.
30 years, that's amazing.
We were your age when we met.
And I have to tell
you, we still know how
to shmear each other's bagels.
- If you get my meaning.
- Dad.
- Barry.
- No, stop.
Of course, we get your meaning.
Barry, don't embarrass him.
BARRY: We're still
madly in love...
No, it's...
BARRY: ...with each other.
That's what marriage...
SHANNON: Oh, speak for yourself.
BARRY: We're crazy
about each other.
Speak for yourself.
- I'm crazy about you.
- Mm-hmm.
I love you.
- Mm-hmm.
- I love you.
He's OK.
SHANNON: Yeah, just OK.
I'm really glad you came.
Oh, me, too, thank
you for having me.
It's nice to see Ben so happy.
Can I say something to you?
Yeah, of course.
I know I shouldn't say anything.
But he told me that you
seemed confused about what
to do when you move to London.
I just... be sensitive.
Just be careful with him.
Can you do that?
Yea... yes, yeah, of course.
Thank you very much.
Um, I'm going to get the
boys for the pots and pans.
Barry, Barry.
My mom put Hanukkah
gelt on our pillows.
How sweet is that?
That is very
sweet, very sweet.
Come here.
Did you have fun today?
Yeah, yeah.
I know my parents
can be a little much,
but they mean well.
They're great.
They're great.
I had a great time.
Good, they loved you.
That... that's so nice.
I really like them.
Um, why did you tell my
dad that you might move?
Uh, that was kind
of a while ago.
I don't know.
Um, I've been thinking about it.
I guess I just don't know
how, um, it would work legally,
you know, uh, because
I'm a dual citizen.
But you're not, and it's
quite hard to get a job there
if you're not sponsored.
And so I...
I just didn't know how it
would work legally for you.
Yeah, I mean, I hadn't thought
it through, like, legally.
I guess it just... it felt
like a really big thing for you
to bring up at lunch
with my dad when
you hadn't met him
yet and... and we
hadn't even discussed it yet.
And, um...
I just, like, just...
we'll have to figure it out.
Yeah, yes, you're right.
We'll figure it out.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
We'll be fine.
Don't worry.
I love you.
I love you.
Do you want to turn those off?
Ah, there you go.
It's a good tree.
You know, this was Patrick's
favorite time of year, the...
the beginning of winter.
Oh, yeah?
Looking forward to the
first snow and all that, yeah.
You know, today is
our anniversary.
Yeah, he proposed after
three months, my God.
- And you said yes.
- I did.
When did you know you
wanted to marry him?
Oh, I don't know.
I'm not sure it was a
conscious realization.
When he first asked me to
marry him, yes came right out.
I figured if that was
my first instinct,
I shouldn't overthink it.
I mean, I didn't
know that we would
be together for so many years.
I hoped we would.
But I just knew
that I loved him,
and I thought I'd like to
try to being married to him.
Well, happy anniversary.
Thank you.
It's just it sucks that he died.
Yeah, it does.
Should we try and find some
rice cakes and peanut butter?
I could go for some rice
cakes and peanut butter.
Look, I want all of them.
I want all the rice
cakes and peanut butter.
I think I have some.
Oh, I forgot to tell you.
Ben is now going
to leave his lease.
So there will be some new
leases coming up, FYI.
That's great.
That's great.
Um, that will make
life so much easier.
AMY: We'll make
sure his replacement
isn't someone you've dated.
Yeah, yes, please.
Thank you.
This... this is great news.
Yeah, well, this one time
I was on the six train.
And there was a break dancer...
-, on the pole...
- Yeah.
...doing a crazy move.
And he spun around.
I was like, this is so annoying.
And I realized it was Max,
my RA from freshman year
who I hooked up with.
What's up?
AMY: What's up?
Uh, nothing.
You hooked up with your RA?
Yeah, I told
you that, I think.
Oh, have so much
fun with your sister.
I will, and I will see
you in a couple of weeks.
- OK.
- Please, be careful.
I'm going to be so warm.
Don't slip.
Oh, my God, please, be
warm for both of us.
I will, bye.
Oh, shoot, I forgot
to take the trash our.
Oh, I'll get it when
I, um, water your pants.
I'll do it when I come home.
Are you sure?
DIANA: Yes, go.
OK, thank you, doll.
OK, call me if anything
terrible happens.
[music playing]
(SINGING) He's so fine.
He really takes his time
until he gets it right.
(SINGING) You get
to know his mind.
Oh, my God, are you OK?
Yeah, no, I'm good.
Oh, shit, Diana, oh, my...
- No, I'm fine.
- Um.
I'm fine.
Just hang out for,
like, uh, a minute.
I'm going to... I'm
going to get my jacket,
and we're going
to get into a cab.
I don't... where did
the blood come from?
NURSE: OK, the doctor
will be in in a minute.
OK, thank you.
NURSE: Mm-hmm.
Hey, why were
you there tonight?
I was just cleaning, you know,
before I give my keys back.
Right, right.
Thank you for, um, thank
you for bringing me.
You didn't have to do that.
Yeah, of course.
MAPLES: Diana, I'm Dr. Maples.
MAPLES: I hear you
had a bit of a fall.
Uh, yes, I slipped
on some black ice.
MAPLES: OK, we're
going to send you
down to x-ray for your ankle.
But first we're going
to get a nice look
at that gash on your forehead.
OK, um, so I was
thinking maybe we
could just glue it,
because I remember this one
time when I was little.
I cut my finger,
and they glued it.
And it worked really well.
So I was thinking maybe
we could just do that.
Yeah, the reason
that we can't glue it
is because of its depth.
The glue only works
for shallow cuts.
For deep ones, I have
to really get in there.
You OK?
Um, mm-hmm, I'm just
not that good with, um,
needles or pain or
just really anything
that's happening right now.
All right, I'm going
to do it right now.
Don't move.
Hey, I think you're
going to make it.
I can't be... I can't be sure.
But things are looking good.
What is it, like, 75%?
I'm going to go with, like,
I'm going to go with 80%.
OK, 80% is good.
He seems to be a real doctor.
80% is a good percentage.
He looks like an
actual medical doctor.
BEN: Hey.
I'm making scrambled eggs.
Do you want some?
Can I sit down?
What's going on?
Are you OK?
Diana, are you OK?
Are you OK?
What's going on?
What... what happened?
Diana, what happened?
Yeah, I think we
should break up.
What, are... are you
breaking up with me?
- Ben, I'm...
- I don't...
I'm leaving.
I kno...
I know.
You... we... we talked about this.
We didn't.
Yes, uh, it's fine.
Like, we're gonna work it out.
We didn't talk about it.
Yeah, we definitely... we
definitely talked about it, OK?
And, like, it's... you know,
it's just a couple of years.
So I'm going to come visit you.
A couple of years
is a very long time.
No, it's gonna be totally...
it's not that long.
Diana, it's not that long.
Diana, peo... people
do this all the time.
I... I love you.
Come on.
Tell me what's going on.
We don't To do this.
It's OK.
You're just so sure of me,
and it's a lot of pressure.
I don't...
I'm not... I'm not
trying to pressure you.
I just want to be with you.
Um, I just...
We can totally
figure this out.
I feel like I need to focus
on myself and my writing.
- And...
- OK.
I just don't want to hold
you back from anything.
You're not holding me back.
And I don't want...
What would you be
holding me back from?
I just don't want us to
get trapped in something.
I don't know what...
I don't know what
you mean by that.
I just don't want to
ruin our friendship.
That's what you...
that's what you want?
You want to be friends?
Ben, I'm breaking
up with you, OK?
DIANA: Thank you.
Yep, OK, puddle.
- Puddle.
- OK.
- OK.
- Thank you.
All right.
Do you need anything else?
Uh, no, I think I'm good.
Water and meds is perfect.
OK, good.
I'm glad you made it.
Me, too.
Thanks for helping
me tonight, really.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Just being a friend, I guess.
Sure you're OK?
[clearing throat]
Yeah, I'm good.
I guess I won't be seeing
you around anymore.
Well, I wish you luck in all
of your future endeavors.
Thank you.
You, too.
Why, thank you.
BEN: You're welcome.
Hey, um, does my head look OK?
It just... it just
kind of stings.
Um, I mean, yeah, I don't
want to take the bandage off.
Yeah, I really think it's OK.
I'm gonna go.
Yeah, OK.
BEN: Feel better.
Thank you.
BEN: OK, bye.
[door opening and closing]
- Bye.
- Thanks.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
- Bye.
- Stay warm.
- OK, bye.
Do you want some tea, too?
Yes, please.
Thank you.
AMY: So how are you feeling?
Good, I'm better, yeah.
Foot's still bothering
me a little bit, but...
That will take some time.
I can't believe you
took such a tumble.
I know.
I know.
It was, um, stupid.
I saw our new neighbor.
Oh, yeah, he's in med school.
I thought it would be handy
to have an in-house doctor.
Yes, probably wise.
So how is your book coming?
Um, not great.
Why not?
I just haven't really
been working on it.
What's wrong?
I don't know.
Um, I don't know what I'm doing.
Well, what do you
want to be doing?
I don't know.
Yes, you do.
Doll, you're thinking too much.
Do you want to be writing?
Yeah, yeah.
Then don't get comfortable
doing something else.
Don't settle before
you've even really
tried to do what you want.
Yeah, but, uh, what
if it doesn't work out?
What if I'm not any good?
I know.
But you can't not go for what
you really want because you're
scared of not getting it.
And listen.
Things might not work out.
You might not succeed.
You might get rejected.
Those things might
happen, or they might not.
But they are things
worth knowing.
I know.
You're trying to
protect yourself.
That you're doing it
to a fault, and I don't
want you to regret not trying.
Be brave.
[kettle whistling]
DIANA: Thank you.
How's Ben?
I don't know 'cause he
doesn't live here anymore.
Oh, sweetie.
I think I fucked up.
Do you have anything stronger?
Yes, I do.
OK, can we drink that?
Yes, we can.
(WHISPERING) Make a plan.
What are you doing here?
I... I brought you your sweater
because I'm leaving tomorrow.
[music playing]
Oh, hi.
Oh, thanks.
...more than I want
to do it, you know?
- Seriously?
- Oh.
Hey, Diana, Diana.
What's up?
Are you OK?
Yeah, Amy gave me your address.
I hope that's OK.
Um, yeah, I didn't know
Meg was gonna be there,
so I'm sorry.
Are you guys back together?
I don't know.
We're figuring it out.
Is everything OK?
Except I'm pretty sure
that I'm in love with you.
So, um, OK.
OK, so I know that I hurt you.
I know... I know that I
hurt you, and I'm so sorry.
I was scared, and
I was so confused.
And, um, I thought that
if I ended it, that it
would be less painful later on.
But it wasn't.
And then I moved
back, and I saw you.
And I just didn't
know what to do.
So, um, I told myself that I
just wanted to be your friend,
or that I was just lonely.
But that's not it because, um,
I think about you all the time.
I think about you all the time.
And I... I don't know if,
um, we got back together,
if we would grow old
together or if we
would just break up again.
And it would be
horrible and sad.
But, um, but I'm in
love with you, Ben.
This is so unfair.
I mean, you can't do this now.
I'm OK, you know?
And it... it took me a while.
I just... I just
can't go there again.
Um, don't... don't say no
for the same reason that I
said no because I was an idiot.
Just, um, just
please only say no
if you actually want to say no.
I'm really sorry.
I gotta go.
[music playing]
Uh, yeah, I was just making
sure that you got my samples.
Oh, OK, great, um,
yes, that's it.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Oh, yeah.
Mm, hey.
I got you hot chocolate.
Aw, thanks, baby.
You're welcome.
Hey, I've been thinking about
starting to go by Gabrielle.
What do you think?
Um, no.
I don't know.
I feel like it sounds
more professional.
Mm, no, I like Gabby.
I also think I'm going
to stop wearing bras.
Right, because it's
not professional?
No, but apparently
it's good for your boobs.
Like, I read this article about
how wearing bras all the time
can make your boobs sag
earlier because the tissue
and the ligaments...
or maybe it's the muscles...
anyway, they become
lazy or something.
Yeah, I'm getting the details
mixed up, but it's true.
I thought it was that,
like, the underwire
actually helps to sort of remind
them to, like, sit up straight.
You know, that they're like...
Uh, D, Ben's here.
I'm gonna go.
Um, just go say hi.
And... and don't be weird, OK?
OK, just call me later.
What are you doing here?
I was just, uh, picking up
some mail that Amy had for me.
It's actually, uh,
warrants for my arrest.
Parking tickets, I guess
I just forgot about them.
I mean, you had so
many parking tickets.
I don't even own a car.
Well, there's always Mexico.
Yeah, yeah, no, Mexico is
not something I considered.
But now I'll probably do that.
Um, what are you
actually doing right now?
Um, I have to pick
up my dry cleaning, uh,
before they close.
Oh, OK.
BEN: Yeah.
Yeah, um, maybe
do you want to come?
(SINGING) I wasn't blind,
gonna hurt yourself.
Too many times,
it's a funny thing.
I wouldn't like any way.
And if I tried, we
would all be dead.
Oh, oh, yeah.
Oh, oh, yeah.
Our love won't let up on
the heels of giving up.
We could try to survive, but
it'd feel like giving up.
Any case, what a shame,
and the car was heating up.
Don't give it up.
Don't give it up.
Don't you go messing it up.
I wouldn't know that the
truth of it lies on the floor.
It's a funny thing.
I wouldn't try to hurt
yourself to please yourself.
And go on not to ease yourself
so you could only lie.
Oh, oh, yeah.
Oh, oh, yeah.
Our love won't let up on
the heels of giving up.
We could try to survive, but
it'd feel like giving up.
Any case, what a shame,
and the car was heating up.
Don't give it up.
Don't give it up.
Don't you go messing it up.
Oh, oh.
And so I'll say that I'm OK.
Our love won't let up on
the heels of giving up.
We could try to survive, but
it'd feel like like giving up.
Any case, what a shame,
and the car was heating up.
Don't give it up.
Don't give it up.
Don't you go messing it up.
Oh, oh.
And so I'll say that I'm OK.
All the way, I heard your story.
Sad to say I found it boring.
It might be fine.
I'd like to [inaudible]
Oh, oh.
Oh, oh.