The Canterville Ghost (2023) Movie Script

[light instrumental music]
[thunder rumbling]
[wind whistling]
[mysterious music]
[thunder rumbling]
[crow cawing]
[dramatic music]
Oh, is it bedtime already?
Well, come along Mr. Tibbs.
[Lord Monroe exclaiming]
Time for little
bears to go to bed
Time for them to do...
-[Lord Monroe exclaims]
-[thunder booming]
Don't be scared, Mr. Tibbs.
Silly old thunderstorm.
[chuckles nervously]
Up the wooden
hill to Bedfordshire
[thunder rumbling]
Probably a mouse,
a large mouse. [chuckles]
A badger, perhaps.
Must have left
the back door open. [chuckles]
Oh, what?
[Sir Simon] Lord Monroe,
[Sir Simon] how about
a bedtime nursery rhyme?
This little
piggy went to market.
This little
piggy stayed at home.
[Sir Simon] This little piggy
[Sir Simon laughs]
Yes, that's it.
-Squeal all the way home!
-[Lord Monroe] Oh, no, no, no!
[Sir Simon] I'm coming for
you my little piggy!
Oh, my coccyx!
Come on, Monroe!
Light on your feet.
Makes like pistons.
Almost there. Mr. Tibbs.
[gasps] Mr. Tibbs?
[dramatic music]
Mr. Tibbs!
[Lord Monroe exclaiming]
I'm coming old friend!
I'll not leave a bear behind!
[Lord Monroe exclaims]
[Lord Monroe gasping]
Mr. Tibbs?
[Lord Monroe screaming]
Oh, Mr. Tibbs,
what's gotten into you?
-Leave this house.
-[Lord Monroe] Oh my word!
Time for little
bears to go to bed
Unhand my teddy you fiend!
-You can't run from me!
-Almost there!
[gasping] Oh my word!
Here I come!
[Lord Monroe exclaiming]
This handle is defective!
Behind you!
Daddy will
protect you, Mr. Tibbs!
The window!
your years in the gymnasium!
[Lord Monroe exclaiming]
[dramatic music]
[Lord Monroe groaning]
[crow cawing]
I love you, be a good bear!
[Sir Simon laughs evilly]
[dramatic orchestral music]
[boat horn blaring]
[engine rumbling]
[horn honking]
[light music]
[birds squawking]
[horn honking]
[train horn blaring]
[horn honking]
[engine rumbling]
[horn honking]
[Kent and Louis] Are we there
[groans] Are we there yet?
[Kent] When do we get to
[Louis] We are in England dodo.
[Louis] Do they have
bathrooms in England?
[Hiram] Yes, boys.
-[Louis] 'Cause I gotta go!
-[Hiram] We are here!
[both boys] Yay, England!
[Kent] Hello governor, tea time.
[Lucretia] Oh Hiram, look at
darling gates, they're so
wonderfully gothic.
[Kent] Canter-bile?
[Louis] No, Kent, Canter-ville.
[Hiram] It is a real
and at a bargain price, too.
And all because
people say it's haunted.
[Kent] Oo, creepy forest!
[Hiram] There's no need to be
of this
so-called ghost, Virginia.
[Hiram] Fear of the unknown and
unexplained is merely ignorance.
[Virginia] I'm not scared.
Just think, our very
own English manor house.
[mysterious music]
[Kent] I bet you could
fit 50 ghosts in there.
[Hiram] Boys, did you not
hear what I just said?
[Louis] Not really.
[Kent] We usually just listen to
[Kent] I bet I see
the ghost first, Louis.
[Louis] Unless your ugly face
scares him away first, Kent.
[Kent] Wow, this place is old.
[Louis] Super old!
Older than Dad!
[Kent laughs]
[Louis laughs]
[Louis] Hideous!
[Kent] She's got donuts on
her head.
[Lucretia] Boys!
Mrs. Umney, I presume?
Hiram Otis, at your service.
[throat clears]
Welcome to Canterville Chase.
This way.
[door creaking]
Oh, my.
[Louis] Where's the ghost?
I wanna be haunted first.
[Mrs.Umney] Oh!
[Kent] No fair,
I wanna be haunted first.
-[Kent] Have you seen the ghost?
-[Louis] Are you the ghost?
Or maybe a zombie?
Do you want to eat my eyeballs?
You can eat his brains.
[Louis] He doesn't use them.
[Mrs. Umney] What charming
Let's go this way.
[Kent] Hey, look, a torch!
[Lucretia] Oh, Hiram!
[Louis] Oh, man, this
fireplace is so big,
I can crawl inside it!
[swelling instrumental music]
[sword clangs]
Fight me, Kent!
[Kent] It's okay, I think
we own that painting now.
[glass shatters]
[Louis] Is a stained glass
window more expensive
than a regular window?
[Lucretia] Oh, Hiram, it's
just so perfect. [chuckles]
So grand!
-[Hiram] Hm, a little gloomy.
-[Louis] Got you!
But I have
something that will fix that!
Electricity, Mrs. Umney.
Power of the future.
Oh, I wouldn't
know about that, Sir.
[Hiram laughs]
[boys laughing]
Of course you wouldn't.
You're just
a little old English lady.
[boys laughing]
[Kent grunts]
Ow, hit me again, Kent!
What's French for in your face?
[Kent laughs]
[Hiram] Yes, indeed.
This room will
make the perfect setting
for our grand banquet.
The house will be filled with
members of The Royal Society,
heads of industry,
possibly even a duke or two.
The perfect way to put
American electricals on the map.
The Royal Society?
Oh, Hiram.
I sent the invitations
back in Boston.
Lead on Mrs. Umney.
[mysterious music]
-[Sir Simon] Child.
-[Virginia gasps]
[Sir Simon] Golden child.
[Virginia gasps]
[Mrs.Umney] This way.
Virginia, keep up.
[Sir Simon laughs evilly]
[Virginia gasps]
[Virginia exclaiming]
I'm coming!
[Virginia gasps]
[mysterious music]
[Sir Simon laughs evilly]
And this is the library.
What a splendid
collection, huh pumpkin?
We had books back home, Pa.
I know it's hard
leaving everything behind,
but you'll make new friends.
This is going to
be a great adventure.
Come on now, no tears.
I'm not crying.
[soft music]
[Lucretia] What happened to
the previous owner?
[Mrs. Umney] He's in the asylum
Poor Lord Monroe.
All he does is scream
and scream day and night.
[Mrs. Umney imitates
Monroe screaming]
[Mrs.Umney] He goes.
You see, for the past 300 years,
each and every owner of this
house has been forced to flee,
driven mad by the ghost
of Sir Simon de Canterville.
Cards wallops
and crazy talk. Ha!
I assure you, we Otis's
are made of sterner stuff
and no ghost, real or otherwise
is ever gonna scare us.
[dramatic music]
[Mrs. Umney exclaiming]
[Mrs. Umney thuds]
[boys laughing]
[Louis] Virginia's scared of
the ghost!
[Kent] She probably peed in her
-Kent laughs]
-[Kent] Ow!
-[Louis] The books are haunted.
-Nice shot.
I hope that wasn't
the first edition.
Now, come on.
There's work to be done.
[Hiram] This is our new home!
[glass shatters]
[foreboding music]
[Lucretia] Boys!
-[Louis] It was Kent!
-[Kent] It was Louis!
[Both] It was the ghost!
Well, isn't this
a darling room? [chuckles]
I hate it.
Will you be
coming down to dinner?
Not hungry.
Virginia, this has to stop.
This is our home now so,
so I suggest you get used to it.
I will not get used to it.
I hate it here!
Okay, good talk.
I wish we'd never come!
All right, darling.
I love you.
[eerie vocalizing]
[gasps] Strange.
[mysterious music]
How did you get up here?
[music continues]
[air whooshing]
[unsettling music]
[pages fluttering]
[owl hooting]
[Virginia gasps]
[window screeching]
"When the barren almond bears."
[eerie vocalizing]
[Virginia gasping]
[spooky music]
[fire crackling]
[glassware clattering]
[Virginia gasps]
[eerie music]
[chains clanging]
Uh huh.
[Sir Simon groans]
[Virginia gasping]
[music continues]
[floorboard creaks]
[air whooshing]
[dramatic music]
Not good, not good! [gasping]
[footsteps approaching]
[chains clanging]
[Sir Simon growls]
[Sir Simon laughs evilly]
[Virginia exclaims]
[Virginia grunts]
[laughing continues]
[book thuds]
That hurt.
That's why I threw it.
Trying to scare
me like that. [huffs]
Stop goggling, lad.
Have ye no manners?
Who's goggling?
And who are you calling lad?
You're a maid?
But you're wearing pantaloons.
These are riding
breeches, actually.
Who ever heard
of a girl in trousers?
Tis against nature.
So you're the Canterville ghost.
Does it make
the blood curdle in your veins
to speak with one who has passed
beyond this veil of tears,
and returned to
walk amongst the living?
Not really.
[chuckles] I don't
think you're that scary at all.
Oh, but I am!
I am enormously scary.
And I shall drive
you and your cursed family away
just like all
the others. [laughs evilly]
Oh, really?
I bet you can't scare
my family out of here in,
shall we say two weeks?
A mere fortnite?
Don't bother unpacking.
You'll be gibbering down
the driveway within the week.
[air whooshing]
[Sir Simon laughing]
And what a shame that would be.
[crow cawing]
[wind whistling]
[Lucretia] How charming to
meet you, Your Grace.
Would you care for
a cucumber sandwich?
Mm, very good dear.
Hiram, would
you close the curtains?
It's chilly in here.
Yes, dear. [grunts]
Ben Franklin would've loved
to fly his kite in this storm.
[Hiram chuckles]
[shutters creaking]
[wind whistling]
Hiram, I said
close the curtains.
These old houses.
Inferior fittings.
Yeah, unruly drafts.
Character and history, Hiram.
Hm, shoddy English
workmanship more like.
[Lucretia] What's that, Hiram?
[Hiram] I love you, dear!
[logs clattering]
[Hiram humming]
Men make fire, fire is good
[fire whooshing]
[groans] My breeches.
Oh, even the fire is defective.
Yeah. [grunts]
[light bulb rattling]
Shall I tell
you a bedtime story?
[Sir Simon growls]
Well, I'll be.
It appears the rumors
of the ghost are true.
[Sir Simon growls]
[Sir Simon screams]
A goblin!
Do you mind, Sir?
This is our bedroom.
Hiram, I'm in my undergarments.
She has a point, Sir.
This is most inappropriate.
I must ask you to leave.
[Sir Simon growls]
[dramatic music]
[Sir Simon coughing]
No, this is [coughing] my house.
I'm asking you to leave.
One moment, Sir.
[Sir Simon coughing]
May I recommend
Dr. Dobell's Tincture Remedy
-[Hiram] for Hoarse Throat.
-[Sir Simon] No, you may not.
And while you're at it,
you may want to go to
work on those noisy chains
Tammany's Rising Sun Lubricator.
nobody's gonna sleep a wink.
There shall be no lubricating.
[air whooshing]
Now, if you wouldn't mind?
Wouldn't mind what?
Well, let me
just say very strongly
that this is my house and I-
Goodnight to you, Sir.
[Sir Simon gasps]
Finally, a real ghost!
Well, hello, child.
[bottle shatters]
England's so boring.
Will you play with us?
Why, of course.
But let's not get ahead of our-
-Heads up, Louis!
What are you doing?
[Kent] For the touchdown!
[Sir Simon] Oh no, my head is
Just wait! [Louis grunts]
[Sir Simon groaning]
It's gone!
And the crowd goes wild!
[Louis imitates crowd cheering]
Who are these people?
The rudeness!
I will drive them out.
Imitate the action of the tiger,
stiffen the sinews,
summon up the blood.
I will scare them so hard,
they will never return to
England's glorious shores again.
[Skull] You talk a good fight,
but what if
you're losing your touch?
How dare you.
What do you know, anyway?
You don't even have a brain.
[scoffs] Neither do you.
It's the bucket for you, Sir!
Oh, very immature.
Put the bucket over the skull.
Never gets old.
All I'm saying is
you've been haunting
this house for 300 years.
Mayhap your steel
has lost its edge?
300 years?
Has it really been so long?
[gentle music]
[birds chirping]
[hooves clomping]
Hyah! [horse whinnying]
[Virginia grunting]
[horse nickers]
[Virginia sighs]
[Henry screaming]
I hate this place.
[Henry screaming]
Oh, goodness gracious!
What a lovely horsey.
Oh, horsey.
[exclaims] That's got it.
No, it hasn't.
Are you all right?
Never better, thank you.
Lovely day for a ride.
Yeah, I suggest
you stop before you get hurt.
Oh, dear.
[Excelsior whinnying]
[Henry screaming]
Excelsior, you idiot, please.
[laughs] Oh, what are you doing?
I think you could
do with some help here.
What's happening now?
[Virginia grunts]
[Excelsior whinnies]
Whoa boy!
Oh, boy!
Yes, oh boy indeed.
Thank you.
Gosh, that is high. [chuckles]
[gentle music]
I must say, that was brilliant.
My name's Henry.
Good for you.
Maybe you should
try walking next time.
You are a woeful horseman.
[Henry exclaims]
Whoopsie daisy!
She can be
a little temperamental,
but she's
a lovely old thing, really?
Aren't you, Excelsior?
[Excelsior whinnies]
[hooves clomping]
So, you're a duke?
Does that mean I have
to call you your Highness?
Because I'm not about to.
It's Your Grace, actually.
Although I prefer Henry.
So, how are you finding England?
I hate it.
Ah, right.
What, all of it?
Everything I've seen so far.
Yes, well, I suppose
it can be a bit stuffy.
Here we are.
Home sweet home.
Canterville Chase?
Are you okay?
Oh, no.
Yes, of course.
It's just that I've never
actually been to Canterville.
My mother would
definitely not approve.
Do you always do
what your mother says?
Heavens no!
I always think it vital
to do the exact opposite
of what one's
mother wants, don't you?
[laughs] Oh, absolutely.
-There, you see?
Something we have
in common. [crow cawing]
[Henry] This is going awfully
What's she got
against Canterville anyway?
Well, we, the Cheshires
and the Cantervilles
have never really got on.
We used to own
the place, you see,
centuries ago until
the ghost drove us out.
Yes, and
we grand English families,
we do like to bear a grudge.
Silly, really.
[crow cawing]
[horse whinnying]
Oh! [Henry exclaims]
What a horrid crow.
-I've seen Mr. Crow before.
-[Henry] Good for you.
I've seen these
gates before, too.
Oh, gosh, you're strong.
Wow, it's some kind of garden.
Let's go in.
It seems rather nasty in there.
Perhaps you ought
to fire your gardener.
There's someone in there.
Come on. Oh!
Hold your hands out like this.
[Henry chuckles]
Ow, ow!
What are you doing?
[Henry] I see, I'm a sort of
ladder. [grunts]
[Virginia grunts]
[Henry groans]
Hello, there!
You're quite
a reckless sort, aren't you?
I'm gonna climb
down the other side.
Yes, of course you are.
[Virginia gasps]
[shears snipping]
[Virginia gasps]
[suspenseful music echoing]
[grunts] Miss Otis, hello.
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
You can put me down now.
Yes, sorry. [chuckles]
You look awful.
I mean, a bit pale.
Tea, hot sugary tea.
Tea always works.
I'll get you some
tea from the house.
I'm American.
I don't drink tea!
I'm fine.
Tea always helps.
I'll be right back just as soon
as I find the tea and
the kitchen and some stuff.
[crow cawing]
Oh, you again?
What do you want?
[cawing continues]
[mysterious music]
What is it?
And I'm talking to a bird
now, which is perfectly normal.
[cawing continues]
[mysterious music]
Oh, great.
Bye then!
What is that?
[gardener chuckles]
[Virginia screams]
[water splashing]
[music continues]
[water gurgling]
[Virginia screams]
[Virginia grunting]
[anticipatory music]
[Henry] Virginia?
[Henry] Virginia!
[water splashing]
[Virginia gasping]
[Henry gasping]
Are you ready for that tea now?
[fire crackling]
You're awfully brave.
You haven't cried once.
Perhaps you're in shock.
Crying doesn't solve anything.
You shouldn't go
swimming in the lake.
Terrible things have
happened in that lake.
It was the gardener.
He just showed
up out of nowhere.
There's been no gardener
here these 30 years, hence.
Ever since
Mr. Meriweather was found
in the vegetable patch,
frozen with fear still
clutching his Brassicas.
It's Sir Simon.
But who is she?
The Lady Eleanor.
Well, well, well.
What is it, Mrs. Umney?
I must not say.
Very well.
On your own head, be it.
They say Sir Simon drowned
his beloved wife in the lake.
That is why he is
cursed to haunt this place.
He drowned her?
But they look so happy.
People say
his spirit can never rest
until the prophecy is fulfilled.
It's said to be written
somewhere in the grounds.
My family have
served here generations,
and though many
have sought the prophecy,
none have found it.
Your tea, Miss.
I told you, I told you!
There he is.
Virginia has a boyfriend.
Virginia, what's this I hear?
Swimming in the lake?
With a boy!
Wait till Dad hears.
I wasn't swimming, Mother.
I- Allow me to explain.
Henry Fritz Humphrey,
Duke of Cheshire.
-He rescued her, Ma'am.
-[Kent] Ugh.
He looks like a mannequin
at a department store.
Virginia, what were you think...
Did you say duke?
Um, yes.
Punish her, Mother.
[both] Ow, Mother!
How delightful
to meet you, Henry.
Or do I call you Sir?
Or Your Dukeness?
Or, oh, or...
Mrs. Umney,
we must have tea and cake.
-[Kent] I want cake!
-No, Mother, we mustn't.
Henry was just leaving.
You rescued her?
How romantic.
[Virginia grunts]
Like Sir Lancelot
[indistinct] and Guinevere.
Well, I'm not
sure that's actually...
I should probably toddle off.
But pleasure to meet you all.
Oh, you're leaving so soon.
Well, at least let
me show you out.
Goodbye, Miss Otis.
-[Mrs. Umney] Goodbye.
[Henry] I can walk from here.
[Henry] It's only 14 miles.
[Sir Simon] Lost my edge indeed!
Everyone's a critic.
[Sir Simon] This time I'll give
them a performance,
they won't forget.
Good for you, that's the spirit.
Wait, what are you doing?
Oh, bravo!
Yes, yes.
The eyes have it.
[skull laughs]
Something wicked
this way comes. [laughs]
[Hiram humming]
I like studying science
I'm at the top of my class
If you don't like
studying science
You must be
a questionable fellow
[skull vocalizing eerily]
You shall be food for the worms!
Oh! Ha ha, that's very good.
[laughs] One for
the "Boston Scientific Journal."
Don't move a muscle.
Do you even have muscles?
Say cheese?
[Sir Simon exclaiming]
Ow! [spits]
I do beg your pardon.
-I didn't mean to scare you.
You scare me?
I am Sir Simon de Cant...
Oh, nevermind.
You ruined it now.
[chuckles] I wouldn't
touch that if I were you.
I shall touch whatever I please.
[electricity crackling]
[Sir Simon spluttering]
[crackling stops]
[Sir Simon thuds]
[Sir Simon gasping]
And let that be a listen to you.
I'm going for a lie down now,
in an, angry way.
A murderer?
That can't be true.
Ordering me
about in my own house.
You are absolutely
the worst ghost in the world.
"Oh, I'm Sir Simon
de Canterville!
I'll scare you out
of here in a week."
Except you can't, can you?
That sounds nothing like me.
God, you're pathetic!
Come back here.
I'm talking to you.
You really are
the most insufferable little...
Where did you get that?
The lake.
Give that to me.
Why should I?
That locket belonged to my wife.
What do you care?
You drowned her.
What do you know of anything?
[Sir Simon sobs]
[air whooshing]
Eleanor. [sobbing]
[gasps] Are you crying?
[Sir Simon] No, of course I'm
It sounds like it to me.
So what if I am?
Do you never weep?
No, never.
But then
I didn't murder my wife.
I did not murder her!
I know that is what everyone
believes, but it is not true.
I was an actor
back then of some repute.
My beloved Eleanor
would always rehearse
with me in the grounds.
She was my muse.
She never felt
safe on that bridge.
But selfishly,
I convinced her to stay.
Her beauty would
inspire my performance.
My vanity, [Eleanor exclaims]
my foolishness took her from me.
I got snagged on a rose bush.
I pulled myself free
and dived into save her,
but could not find
her in the dark water.
And the guilt has lived
with me some 300 years.
I loved my Eleanor,
so please don't judge me.
I have judged myself enough.
[soft music]
You know what?
I think we could both
do with some cheering up.
[Sir Simon screaming]
[engine rumbling]
See? This is fun.
Slow down!
Slow down, you'll kill us!
You're a ghost!
You're already dead.
Yes, yes,
I suppose I am. [laughs]
Well go faster, go faster!
[Virginia cheering]
What powers this contraption,
-[Virginia] Yeah!
-[Sir Simon] invisible horses?
Oh! Hey,
why don't you take the wheel?
Take it? Where?
Oh, huh?
[Virginia shrieks]
-[Virginia] Put your arm out!
[Sir Simon] Trees, trees!
Yes, indeed!
-[Sir Simon] Ya-hoo!
-[Virginia] Woo!
[Virginia laughs] Okay, then
come on.
[Virginia] Let's go tear up the
-[Sir Simon] The village?
-[Virginia] Yeah.
You can petrify
some of the locals.
It'll be good
practice for scaring my family.
[gasps] Sir Simon?
[engine rumbling]
What's the matter?
Alas, Virginia, I cannot
pass beyond these gates.
[gentle music]
[water splashing]
I wish I could be free,
but I am cursed to haunt
this place and haunt it, I must.
Tomorrow and
tomorrow and tomorrow.
Maybe I could help.
Mrs. Umney said
something about a prophecy.
[crow cawing]
Oh! No!
You get away from her.
Leave her be!
Sir Simon, that crow.
What's in the walled garden?
Nothing, nothing at all.
Oh, really?
There's nothing
in there I tell you.
And this prophecy,
who is the golden child?
What happens when
the barren almond bears?
Such matters should
not be of concern to you.
What aren't you telling me?
Why won't you let me help you?
I can't.
I mustn't, please.
Virginia, ask me
anything, but not that.
Some ghost he is.
He said he would have
us out of here in two weeks.
What's this?
[Sir Simon] Turn hell hound.
Get for a ducket. [laughs]
Ah, there you are.
Weren't you even
a little bit scared?
Oh no.
I mean, yes.
You cut quite the fearsome
figure with that blade.
Do you think so?
Oh, yes.
My knees are
completely knocking.
[laughs] Excellent.
Rest assured, Virginia,
your family may
be tough nuts to crack,
but crack them, I shall.
-Mm hm.
You're gonna
drive them out with that?
I was quite the swordsman
in my day, you know?
Oh, really?
Why don't you show me?
On guard.
But you're a girl.
A girl who's
about to kick your butt.
Very well, if
trousers, why not swords?
I promise to be gentle.
-Oh, I think I'll keep up.
[swords clanging]
[Sir Simon laughs]
That all you got?
I made Pa give me lessons.
Oh, very sensible.
You really are the most
remarkable young woman.
Your Henry is a lucky chap.
Oh, don't you start.
He's not my Henry.
You love him not?
I hardly know him.
And anyway, I wanna see
the world, have adventures,
not just be somebody's wife.
Why does everything
have to be about love?
But my dear, love is
the greatest adventure of all.
Love can make
you thrill with excitement
or tremble with fear.
Make you a beggar
or a fool, a poet or a king.
Love is all you need.
-[Lucretia] Yo-hoo!
-You sound like my mother.
Now you really
sound like my mother.
Oh, there you are.
What are you doing?
I was just-
Virginia, come inside.
We have guests, guests.
[Virginia] Oh, great, how
Guests, eh?
Then let the revels commence.
[Lucretia] Thank you, Mrs.
Ah, the tea and
cucumber sandwiches,
which is apparently a thing.
[Lucretia] I'm not sure why.
Anyway, Reverend Chasuble,
this is my daughter, Virginia.
Pleasure, my dear. [chuckles]
Allow me to introduce my wife.
Hello, there.
It is more incredible
than I could have hoped.
There are unmistakable signs
of spiritual
activity everywhere.
See what I found on the floor?
-No, that's jam.
It is jam, strawberry jam.
A classic symptom
of spectral manifestation.
Have you seen
it then? [Virginia gasps]
Seen what?
The bonnie ghost?
Has it manifested to you?
I could help
you with it, you know?
My card.
"Phantasmagorical Investigator."
Ghost hunter, dear!
Right. So delightful of you
to call on us, Reverend.
I was beginning to
fear no one would visit.
In truth, it was my
wife who insisted we come.
I'll say!
Oh, for the chance
to test my medal
against the famed
Canterville ghost.
I could hunt the phantasm
down for you and chop it.
Algernean, do have
some tea, won't you?
Oh! Ah!
All this silly talk of ghosts.
-It's nonsense.
Tell that to
the people he sent raving
to the mad
house or his poor wife.
He murdered her, you know?
That's not true.
Yes, it is.
Ghosts are benighted
creatures of pure evil.
He is not evil.
What do
you know about it anyway?
Oh, you must excuse my daughter.
She has a new gentleman admirer.
[Virginia scoffs]
Mrs. Umney!
Right away, Ma'am.
Your vicarship?
[Sir Simon burps]
[Lucretia] Oh!
Forgive me
father, for I have sinned.
And I'm trying to
watch my waistline.
[Chasuble exclaiming]
Scotch finger anyone?
Oh, no you don't!
A manifestation!
A genuine mani-
Don't you know it's ruled
to talk with your mouthful?
[Algernean gasping]
-Oh, I'm so sorry.
-And now for you young lady!
[Chasuble gasping]
[Sir Simon growls]
[Sir Simon laughs evilly]
[vicar quivering]
-How am I doing?
-Really good.
No, no!
Get away from me
you horrible mistake of a man!
Just off to
the little vicar's room.
[laughing] Leaving so soon?
[Chasuble exclaiming]
[knives thudding]
Drat! Missed!
Sir Simon, stop this at once.
Now don't move.
I want to study
you from top to bottom.
[Algernean yelps]
-Off she goes.
[Lucretia] Oh no, no, no, no!
Telekinesis, how thrilling!
[Virginia laughs]
[Sir Simon] And where
she stops, nobody knows.
Oh, little bilious now.
Oh, hello again.
Incoming, Cedric.
I'm approaching from the rear.
Oh, Algernean, oh.
Fret not my love.
I have him
exactly where I want him.
Very good, dear.
-More tea, vicar?
-Oh, oh!
Too hot?
Let me blow on it. [blows]
Your days are
numbered phantom!
[Virginia laughs]
[Sir Simon laughs]
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you very much indeed.
Oh, for me?
So kind.
[Virginia laughs]
[wind whistling]
[Lucretia] Hiram!
[Hiram] Yes, dear?
That ghost is a menace.
I've never been so embarrassed.
How can we possibly
host a grand banquet
with all of his shenanigans?
[Sir Simon spluttering]
[Virginia laughs]
This is not funny, Virginia.
Sorry, Mother.
You're right.
This ghost is dreadful.
Perhaps we should just go home.
This is our home, pumpkin.
No, it's not.
By Joseph, it is young lady.
We are not leaving,
ghost or no ghost.
Hiram G. Otis and
his family are here to stay.
And we are having our banquet.
Well, I'm not coming.
You will do as you are told.
But my darling, your young
Henry will be there. [chuckles]
He is not my young Henry.
He's just a...
[Virginia groans]
You two are
giving me a headache!
-Oh, may I suggest, Doctor-
-No, you may not.
What on earth is
the matter with pumpkin?
Oh, Hiram.
She's not
your little pumpkin anymore.
She's growing up.
Too fast.
Hm, where does the time go?
[Sir Simon laughing]
Yes, you've still got it,
Canterville, you old dog.
[flames whooshing]
[anticipatory music]
Hm, what's that, Ciro?
Wanna make something of it?
[Sir Simon laughs]
So the wind
reaped the whirlwind.
[Sir Simon laughing]
[Sir Simon screams]
[laughs] It is I,
Lord Pumpkin of the Underworld!
You are guilty of
being a phantom failure!
-Have mery!
-And for that you must pay!
Got ya!
-$20. [laughs]
Best prank ever!
What kind of
ghost is scared of ghosts?
I really hate those boys.
[Sir Simon exclaims]
[soft music]
Oh, there you are.
Okay, I've been thinking,
and there must be some other way
we can scare my
parents out of here.
Maybe what we do is...
What's the point?
What's the matter with you?
The world has changed.
There was a time when
I made people's blood run cold,
but no longer it seems.
What are you talking about?
You scared the vicar.
Vicars! [scoffs]
Everything scares
vicars, but your family!
Are all Americans like this?
Wait, we can't just give up.
I'm afraid
I failed you, Virginia.
I'm a ghost
who cannot haunt people.
[Sir Simon] I may as well be
a dog that cannot bark.
[Sir Simon] When the barren
almond bears.
[anticipatory music]
[Henry grimaces]
Sorry, I still
don't quite understand.
Why are we shoveling
manure onto a dead tree?
I'm trying to help Sir Simon.
He seemed so sad.
And this manure
will make him happy?
Look, I keep hearing this voice.
You're hearing voices.
Yeah, right.
"When the barren almond bears."
Well, this is an almond tree.
It's barren.
Nothing's growing on it,
so maybe we have to
make something grow on it.
An almond,
presumably. [chuckles]
And then what will happen?
I don't know!
Maybe it's something
to do with this prophecy.
What prophecy?
It's all in here.
There's a picture of
the walled garden in this book,
only it keeps changing.
First it was just
the locked gates.
Then this girl
appeared and now look!
The gates are opened.
Hm, it looks a bit like you.
Oh, Hiram!
Look at the two love birds.
-Oh, "Hm," nothing.
Who would've believed it?
It's like a fairytale.
Our Virginia and
the Duke of Cheshire.
Duke of Cheshire?
Duke of Cheshire?
I think the book
wants me to go in there.
It has to be
connected with the prophecy.
Yes, perhaps.
You don't believe me.
It's just ghosts and
prophecies, it does seem a bit-
You think I'm crazy?
No, not at all.
I just think
you're a bit different.
Oh, different?
No, what I meant
to say was, Virginia,
I think you are absolutely-
-Oh, Sir Simon?
Be gone vile blaggard!
Sir Simon, no!
Be gone, I say!
Sir Simon, stop it!
Darken this
hallowed place no more!
What are you doing?
Quiet Virginia, this is
between me and him. [laughs]
What's got into you?
Henry, just go.
No, I'm not leaving
you alone with whatever he is.
Now, now, you see here,
I'm quite scared
and I don't have a sword,
-but nevertheless-
-It's all right, Henry.
You'd better go.
Are you sure?
Yes, I can handle this.
A curse on all Cheshires.
You don't even know him.
I know his blood.
They are all the same.
What has got into you?
I will not suffer
a Cheshire to walk on my land.
He was lucky to
escape with his life.
His life?
If you dare set foot
here again, you will pay!
[Henry whimpers]
[Sir Simon sighs heavily]
A lucky escape, my dear.
Those Cheshires.
I thought we were friends.
We are friends.
No, no.
You leave me alone.
Don't talk to me.
[air whooshing]
Sir Simon, we need to talk.
Tonight is our grand banquet.
There will be
people, laughter, merriment,
and you will not disturb it.
There will be no
haunting, no moaning,
no clanking of chains.
Is that understood?
I shall do as I please.
You shall do as you are told.
This is my house.
No, Sir.
This is my house.
How dare you!
You jumped up little Colonial!
Your tom foolery
will not work on me, Sir.
I am a modern man.
This is a modern world.
[bulb flashes]
[Sir Simon exclaims]
World of science,
powers you cannot
even begin to comprehend.
[Hiram] World gears and
levers, electricity and pistons.
There is no place for you
-in this world, Sir.
-What's that?
You are obsolete.
A relic, a dinosaur.
[Sir Simon exclaims]
If you were any
kind of decent fellow,
you would leave this place.
But I can't.
[light instrumental music]
[Mrs.Umney] The Reverend
Chasuble and his wife.
[Algernean] Who is called
[Mrs. Umney] Who is called
Professor Victor Bosocoff,
and his wife, Mrs. Bosocoff.
My, my, my.
[guests chattering]
[Hiram] And I told him,
"No, you need to
reverse the polarity." [laughs]
[men laughing]
I don't understand.
It's his accent.
If you gentlemen will excuse me.
It's going wonderfully, Hiram.
We'll be the talk of society,
and no sign of the ghost yet.
[Hiram laughs]
I do hope he won't spoil it.
I don't think we'll
be seeing him again.
It's all taken care of.
Apparently he has
an enormous inheritance,
and his acreage
is a wonder to behold.
Don't know why
I have to wear this darn thing.
Well, I think you look lovely.
Henry, you're here.
I mean, I didn't
think you'd come after-
Wouldn't have
missed it for the world.
No ghost could keep me away.
He's not here, is he?
[chuckles] No.
What are
you doing hiding away in here?
[sighs] I can't go out there.
Pa says I have to, but
ugh, all those lords and ladies.
What do I say to them?
What do I do?
Can't we just stay here?
Now, now, best foot forward.
Take my arm.
You saved me
from that mad ghost,
now I'll save you from
something even scarier,
English high society.
[guests chattering]
[Virginia gasps]
[Virginia whimpers]
[Virginia chuckles]
Miss Virginia Otis,
and His Grace,
Henry, the Duke of Cheshire.
How dare he show
his weasley face here again!
[guests chattering]
[light instrumental music]
Keep up, Marjorie.
This is a big gig for us.
You've nothing to
fear from these people.
They're mostly harmless.
[Virginia groans]
Lady Grey lost all
her teeth in a riding accident.
[dentures popping]
Colonel Merriman,
completely mad.
He once challenged
a pig to a dual,
said it looked at him funny.
The pig won.
[Colonel Merriman] Sir.
This one thinks he's a mermaid.
She lost her leg in a card game,
and he invented a tiny
gun for shooting wasps.
Oh! [man speaking gibberish]
Excuse me?
Half past seven, I think.
Oh, look, brandy.
Ah. [speaking gibberish]
Come with us, my dear.
You must tell us
all about yourself.
You look sturdy.
Good hips.
I'm sorry?
Maybe later.
That was code for we want you to
marry our brother, Dorian.
Oh, thank you.
Nice save.
No problem. Oh, um.
Work from the outside in.
Soup, fish, meat.
Or just use your fingers.
It's your house after all.
Nothing to worry about.
Thanks for your help.
Anytime at all.
You see, Virginia,
I think you truly are-
[glass clinking]
Oh, what?
Excuse me folks,
welcome to Canterville.
We are thrilled to have
you at our grand banquet.
Now, I know Canterville Chase
has had a somewhat blood
reputation down the years,
but that is all in the past.
Ladies and gentlemen,
if you would please
extinguish your candles.
[guest chattering]
[guests blowing]
[anticipatory music]
[Virginia chuckles]
Now, allow me to introduce
the new wonder
of the modern world.
[guests exclaiming]
[guests applauding]
Oh, it's like magic.
It's science, Cedric.
Mr. Otis is a man
after my own heart.
-Well done, dear.
You did it.
No, we did it.
[gasps] It's
beautiful, isn't it?
[Henry's throat clears]
To progress!
To progress.
[woman laughs]
[electricity crackling]
[guests exclaiming]
[guests chattering]
Don't worry everyone,
I'm sure it's just a fuse.
A fuse?
Is that a bomb?
[anticipatory music]
Hiram, what's that noise?
What the?
I am the ghost of Canterville!
And this dinner is doomed!
[Virginia gasps]
Ladies and gentlemen,
please remain calm.
Rest assured,
this is an unfortunate
yet harmless prank
from my incorrigible boys.
Again, Kent, again.
[shutters banging]
[guests exclaiming]
Oh, oh!
Nice touch.
It wasn't me.
Then who was it?
[Louis] Mayday, mayday.
The pumpkin's gone rogue!
[boys exclaiming]
Hiram! Boys!
Stop this immediately.
It's not us!
[record player screeching]
[records clattering]
[air whooshing]
[guests exclaiming]
Guess who's coming to dinner?
[all exclaiming]
[pumpkin splatters]
Sir Simon!
Cry havoc and let
slip the dogs of war!
[Sir Simon yelling]
[guests exclaiming]
Keep up, Marjorie!
Do you do requests?
[band members exclaiming]
[Sir Simon] Play on, I say.
Play on.
[all exclaiming]
Quick, quick,
come along, come along.
Unhand me, Cecil.
The beast is mine.
[all exclaiming]
[Sir Simon chuckles]
We meet again, old adversary,
but this time it's
I who shall-- [screaming]
[Sir Simon laughing]
[metal clanging]
speaking indistinctly]
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
Do speak up.
Right this way!
let's get out of here.
You Americans enter my house
with your modern ways and dare
to tell me what
I may or may not do?
Now you see here, Sir-
Dinosaur am I?
If it's electricity you want,
how about this?
[light bulbs shattering]
[guests exclaiming]
[Kent exclaims]
[Louis exclaims]
[exclaiming continues]
[shattering continues]
And as for you Cheshire!
Sir Simon, stop it!
Is it me, or is
it getting hot in here?
[Henry gasps]
[Virginia shrieks]
[fire whooshing]
Mrs. Umney, do something.
Yes, Ma'am. [groans]
A toast to
progress, to Canterville.
A modern, happy home.
Don't mind if I do. [gulps]
Not for me.
I want to watch it all burn.
[Louis exclaims]
[Kent exclaims]
Out of my way, boys.
[Kent exclaims]
[Louis exclaims]
Boys, over here!
[Henry and Virginia] Jump!
[Kent groans]
I'm scared, Louis.
Me too, Kent.
Come on boys, you can do it.
Oh, Geronimo!
Come on, everybody, this way.
[dramatic music]
[chain clangs]
Come on, let's get out of here.
I will be right behind you.
[chandelier clangs]
We'd better not
get blamed for this one.
It's not our fault.
[Henry groaning]
Now that's what I call
a haunting. [laughs evilly]
[guests clamoring]
Bring the horses around quickly!
[horse neighs]
Hey, Ma.
Oh, Hiram.
[sighs] Thank
goodness you're all safe.
Are you okay?
Where's Henry?
[dramatic music]
That- Was-
When's dessert?
Oh my goodness, boys.
[Virginia gasps]
[Henry coughing]
Henry, are you okay?
Virginia, you came
back. [Virginia straining]
I think I've put my back out.
Come on, Henry!
You can do this, come on!
What are you doing?
[Virginia groans]
[beam thuds]
Oh, my.
[Henry gasping]
[chandelier rattling]
[Virginia gasps]
Come on, Henry, on your feet.
Thank you, Virginia.
[dramatic music]
[fire crackling]
[triumphant music]
[Henry coughing]
[Henry gasping]
[Virginia gasping]
[Henry coughs]
[planks clattering]
I'm so sorry.
[Virginia grunts]
[soft music]
Forgive me, Virginia.
I have of late,
but wherefore I know not,
lost all my mirth.
[doors clanging]
Pumpkin, I was
looking for you everywhere.
Are you okay?
It's all my fault.
Virginia, I shouldn't have come.
My presence here clearly
drove the ghost into a rage.
It's not your fault.
I couldn't bear
the thought of any harm
coming to you or your family.
I think it best
that I don't come again.
Thank you, Mr. Otis.
Very impressive lights.
Goodbye, Virginia.
Don't worry, pumpkin.
I am gonna put
an end to this once and for all.
There's no need to cry.
I'm not crying! [groans]
[light music]
A full blown category five
psychoplasmical manifestation!
Last night you were
lucky to escape with your lives.
I dread to think
what might've happened
if I hadn't been there.
If that ghost
wants a donnybrook,
Hiram Otis is gonna give
him one right on his snoot.
Yeah, Pa, you tell him.
Oh yeah, bust that ghost.
Bust him.
I like the sound of that.
[Louis] Bust ghosters! Mm,
The readings are very strong.
The spirit compass,
my own invention,
is saying there is
definitely a ghost in the house.
This is an impressive
array of equipment, Ma'am.
You see, Lucretia, science.
Science will cook
this old buzzard's goose.
Hey, look what I found.
-Put that back at once.
-I wanna shoot it.
-What's it shoot?
Ghost bullets? Carefully.
It's a ray gun, genius.
[ray buzzing]
[all exclaiming]
It was him.
What are you gonna do with that?
I am going to give
Johnny ghost both barrels
and capture
it like a rat in a trap.
How exactly?
Once activated,
this device will function
as a psychic magnet pinning
and absorbing the spirit
and trapping it in one of these.
And then what?
Why, then I study it of course.
Oh, I have many,
many experiments planned.
Just think, a real
live specimen to work on.
We can't do this to Sir Simon.
Yeah, he's our ghost.
We're the ones who should
be experimenting on him.
I'm a reasonable man, but
he tried to blow up our family.
And I don't take
too kindly to that.
Right then, pop this on.
[buckle clicks]
[anticipatory music]
Plug that in.
Snappety, snap.
Eyes of a hunter.
[Louis] That is one strange
[Kent] I kinda like it.
-Me too.
Sorry, dear.
So, how many ghosts
have you actually caught?
Technically, this will
be my first, but fear not.
I know exactly what I'm doing.
This way!
The game's afoot.
The spirit compass never lies.
On we go!
[playful music]
That's a cupboard.
This way.
No, no.
This way.
Does she know what she's doing?
Kent, Louis,
much as it pains me to
say this, I need your help.
Just give me a moment.
Um, which way?
Which way?
This way. [Algernean gasps]
I can smell it.
I say, come back with that.
[Kent] Hey, weird lady,
the readings are
very strong down here.
Wait for me.
Phantom ahoy!
Sir Simon?
Sir Simon?
Where could he be?
In here, everyone.
He's in the kitchen.
Ah ha!
[ray buzzing]
That's our housekeeper.
Well, she shouldn't
sneak up on me like that.
He's on the move.
Come on!
This way!
Mrs. Umney, are you all right?
Perfectly fine,
thank you, Ma'am.
[Mrs. Umney coughs]
[pan clangs]
Sir Simon, where are you?
-Over here.
-You just missed him.
-No, no, he's over here.
The blighter's slippery like
a greased pig on market day.
Sir Simon, are you in there?
Open up.
You're in danger.
[Sir Simon] The wind and the
a foolish thing was but a toy.
[gasps] Sir Simon?
[Sir Simon] For the rain,
-[Sir Simon] it rains everyday.
-Sir Simon!
[Louis screams]
[Kent screams]
Ghosts in there!
Ah ha!
Stand aside, please.
Boys, stay here.
[boys straining]
-Okay, Pa.
-No problem!
[dresser sliding]
[Kent grunts]
[boys grunting]
[armor clattering]
[Louis grunting]
Uh, boys?
Hi, Pa.
Please hand me that chair.
It was him!
[Sir Simon] A great while
ago the world begun.
[Sir Simon] With hey, ho, hey,
-[Sir Simon] the wind blew
the rain.
[Virginia gasps] What?
-[Sir Simon] But that's all
one, our play is done.
Sir Simon! [gasps]
[Sir Simon] As we strive to
please you everyday.
[Virginia gasping]
[blocks clattering]
That awful woman's here again.
She wants to trap
you, do experiments.
-You have to run.
I'm so very tired, Virginia.
I haven't slept in 300 years.
I miss sleep.
Right, onwards!
I have a sulfuric
odor in my nostrils.
Uh, that was me.
I miss my Eleanor.
She was
a Cheshire too, you know?
Like your young man.
Why do you hate them so much?
[magic whooshing]
It was my wife's uncle,
the old Duke of Cheshire
who accused me of her murder.
He wanted me outta
the way so he could lay claim
to Canterville Chase
for himself.
It was Cheshire who laid
the trap intended for me.
He accused me, imprisoned me.
This cell became my tomb.
Eventually I succumbed to death.
But the fates, it seemed
had other plans for my soul.
[gasps] So, is that...
It is, alas.
That's horrible.
That's the house
of Cheshire for you.
But that was 300 years ago.
Henry isn't like his ancestors.
People change.
Not me.
Cursed to remain in
this house for all eternity.
Maybe I deserve it.
If I'd been less
vain, less foolish.
If I'd reached Eleanor quicker.
It wasn't your fault.
We're getting
close! [Virginia gasps]
The needle's
almost off the dial.
It's unprecedented.
Mr. Otis, crank
me up to full power.
[chuckles] With pleasure, Ma'am.
Oo, that's it!
That's it! Keep going!
Oo! [laughing]
Where is Virginia?
I don't know.
Behind this wall!
It has to come down.
Yeah, that's
what I'm talkin' about.
Stand aside.
[Hiram grunts]
[wall shaking]
[Sir Simon exclaims]
They're coming!
Let them come.
No, we have to do something.
[Sir Simon groaning]
[gasps] What's this?
[ax bangs]
[rubble clattering]
"When the baron almond bears."
Is that the prophecy?
It was on
the walled garden all along?
It's no concern of yours.
Why didn't you say anything?
-But what does it mean?
-What does it do?
Tell me!
It sets me free!
Then we have to go.
[rubble clattering]
[Virginia gasps]
[Sir Simon exclaims]
[playful music]
Ah ha!
I have you now.
[ray buzzing]
[Virginia grunting]
[pan clangs]
[Algernean exclaiming]
Right in the Hamptons.
Hiram! [coughing]
But there's no one here.
ghosts are invisible, Mom.
Come on.
Over here, Ma.
Where did they go?
Slipped the net again.
Look, Hiram!
It's taken Virginia.
Oh! [thunder rumbling]
That darn ghost has
gone too far this time.
[pages flipping]
[eerie music]
[thunder rumbling]
Virginia, no!
It asks too heavy a price.
We have to try.
[Virginia grunting]
"When a little girl
can ask for freedom
from the angel's grasp."
Please don't.
"When the barren almond bears
and a golden child
gives away her tears,
then will all the house be still
and peace come to Canterville."
[thunder rumbling]
[Virginia gasps]
[mystical chiming]
[gates creaking]
But what does it mean?
It means
that I can only be set free
if an innocent
such as yourself travels
with me and begs for
my forgiveness
from the Grand
Old Man.
The Grand Old Man?
The Master of all
our Final Ceremonies.
Only He can grant my release.
Then let's go.
No, Virginia,
it is too perilous.
I cannot ask this of you.
You are not asking, Sir.
I am offering to help a friend.
[Sir Simon gasping]
[gates slamming]
[soft intriguing music]
It's just like
your locket in here.
[gasps] It's beautiful.
[music fades]
Virginia, please
excuse the lateness of the hour,
but I simply could not wait.
The fact is, I love you,
and I refuse to let the ghost
and this ancient
curse come between us.
[thunder rumbling]
[Excelsior whinnying]
Oh yes, well, it's easy saying
it in front of you, Excelsior.
Now I have to say it to her.
[thunder rumbling]
Giddy up!
[hooves clomping]
Oh, where is she?
It's a classic ghost gambit.
Old as the hills.
Oh, just you wait
until I get you in my sights
you phantasmic blaggard!
-Dad, come quick!
[Algernean gasps]
[thunder rumbling]
[sullen music]
My love.
[chuckles] Ah,
finally got here, have you?
I was wondering
when you'd show up.
You've led me
a merry dance, Sir Simon.
You two know each other?
Oh, yes.
Who are you?
Why, I'm the gardener, ain't I?
gotta keep things tidy.
Otherwise, where would we be?
[sniffs] Oh, lovely.
Only blooms for a day.
Sir, I wonder if
you could help us.
We've come here to find someone.
Have you now?
Who's that then, my love?
The Master of Ceremonies.
Do you know where he might be?
[laughs] Do I know?
Well, Death's
everywhere, isn't he?
Hm? [crow cawing]
[Virginia whimpers]
No. [The Grim Reaper laughs]
Pleasure to meet
you, Miss Virginia.
I see you've
been reading my book.
Your book?
Want to know how it ends?
What's wrong with her Dad?
I can't feel a pulse.
[Henry groans]
Oh! Ow!
What's happened?
[Algernean] Her spirit has
been taken by the ghost.
Wait, wait.
This device captives spirits
and what have you, correct?
Could we not use it to draw
her spirit back in her body?
Mr. Otis, to tell you the truth,
I only received it this morning.
I haven't quite
got the hang of it yet.
This is my daughter!
Right, well,
we could give it a whirl.
Her spirit must be somewhere!
Sir, I humbly
request that you see fit
to release Sir Simon's soul
so that he may be
rejoined with his wife,
and that this curse be lifted.
Please, I beg of you.
Why not?
Consider it done.
Is there anything else, my dear?
Thank you.
Sir Simon?
I'm free?
[chuckles] I'm free!
At last I can be
with my Eleanor.
Thank you, dear Virginia.
Go, back to your family.
Ah, now, [chuckles]
afraid I can't allow that.
There's no going back from here.
This is the Garden of Death.
It's very much a one way trip.
But I can't stay.
I'm not dead!
I'm alive.
Oh, no.
You were dead the moment
you walked through those gates,
weren't she Sir Simon?
[sullen music]
Now, here we are.
This is you.
But I have plenty of time left!
Not anymore.
[Virginia gasps]
[mystical whooshing]
He can't see me.
[Virginia gasps]
Your body cannot
pass through the gates.
Only your spirit.
I'm really dead?
[Sir Simon sighs]
Look at it.
Life trickles by
so quickly, don't it?
People don't
make the most of it.
[Virginia gasps]
[Virginia whimpering]
[dramatic music]
Oh dear, look at that.
[Virginia groans]
That's a fast grower, that is.
[dramatic music]
You shall not claim her.
Do you challenge me, Sir?
I do, Sir.
To a duel.
I see.
And if I win, we both go free.
Ah ha.
But if I win, she dies,
and you shall
remain in this garden forever.
A permanent addition,
neither dead nor in heaven
with your wife. [chuckles]
[anticipatory music]
I accept your terms.
Sir Simon, no!
Let's be having you then.
No time like the present.
Hang on a mo. [chuckles]
[dramatic music]
Ha, that's better!
You didn't think I was gonna
fight you like that, did you?
I'd be out of puff in seconds.
Shall we?
Then lay on and damned be him
who first cries hold enough.
Yes! [swords clanging]
[Sir Simon straining]
[The Grim Reaper straining]
[anticipatory music]
[thunder rumbling]
Ready, I think.
I suppose I should aim up.
Come on,
pumpkin, wherever you are.
Turn it on!
[electricity humming]
[Algernean groaning]
[electricity humming]
Do it again!
[ray buzzing]
[Hiram exclaiming]
[Lucretia exclaiming]
[Henry gasping]
[mystical chiming]
What's this?
"When a little girl
can ask for freedom
from the angel's grasp."
[men grunting]
Are you insane?
I am Death!
You cannot beat me!
You realize how
many people I have killed?
Well, I, Sir, have
played the greatest swordsman
of the stage.
And what's more,
I've had 300 years to practice.
I like a spirited opponent,
but don't let
it go to your head.
[Sir Simon exclaims]
Ha ha!
[swords clanging]
[men grunting]
A hit, a palpable hit!
Sir Simon, look out!
[Sir Simon exclaims]
[swords clanging]
[men grunting]
Another hit.
What say you, Sir?
[building rumbling]
[Sir Simon gasps]
[Virginia gasps]
[anticipatory music]
[Sir Simon whimpering]
[Virginia exclaims]
[The Grim Reaper growling]
[dramatic music]
Uh oh.
[ray buzzing]
[Algernean groaning]
Still nothing!
Hiram, stop this!
Science will save her.
It has to.
More power!
Yeah, more power! No!
[electricity humming]
[anticipatory music]
This stops now.
[Lucretia whimpering]
[Hiram gasping]
[Kent whimpers]
[Louis whimpers]
[Lucretia sobbing softly]
[The Grim Reaper growling]
[Sir Simon grunting]
I say, I thought this
was to be a fair fight.
If there's one
thing I can't abide,
it's someone who refuses to die.
That would be me, Sir.
Look at you, Sir Simon.
What are you?
An aberration, a ghost.
It will not do.
Here the books must be balanced,
and I will balance them.
[Sir Simon exclaims]
You leave him alone!
You dare challenge me?
What the heck?
I'm dead anyway.
[Virginia grunting]
[Virginia grunting]
[The Grim Reaper groaning]
[The Grim Reaper growling]
[Virginia groaning]
Oh, boy!
[swords clanging]
[Virginia gasps]
You really do get yourself
into some scrapes, don't you?
[The Grim Reaper growling]
You can fence?
Of course I can fence.
I went to Heaton!
You shouldn't have come.
Being here in this
place, it means you're dead.
[The Grim Reaper growls]
I'm sorry!
Oh, please, spare me. [growls]
[gasps] Henry!
[Henry gasping]
You leave him alone.
Well, if I am dead,
there's no one I'd
rather spend eternity with.
You see, Virginia,
I'm afraid I love you.
[gasps] What?
Oh, what a lovely couple.
United forever.
[The Grim Reaper growls]
Cooey, up here.
[Sir Simon groans]
Hey, Sir Simon, catch!
[The Grim Reaper exclaiming]
[Sir Simon grunting]
I'm all right.
[The Grim Reaper laughs]
[building ticking]
And you, young man, thank you.
Happy to help.
Perhaps not all
Cheshire's are the same.
Oh, I think not.
The old Duke of Cheshire!
Hello, again. [chuckles]
[ground ticking]
[all exclaiming]
Now I get to kill
you all over again.
[Sir Simon grunting]
[Duke of Cheshire grunting]
Oh, dear!
[Duke of Cheshire grunting]
[Sir Simon grunting]
[dramatic music]
[swords clanging]
[Virginia exclaims]
[Henry gasping]
[Duke of Cheshire gasping]
[soft music]
My love, it's me.
Yes, my love. [chuckles]
[sword clinks]
You are not my Eleanor.
[Eleanor laughs]
[Sir Simon grunts]
[sword thuds]
[Duke of Cheshire grunts]
[Duke of Cheshire chuckles]
[Sir Simon groaning]
[mystical chiming]
Very impressive.
It seems we have a draw.
Virginia is free to
go, as are you young man.
[Virginia chuckles]
[Henry laughs]
But as you did
not beat me, Sir Simon,
you must remain here forever.
No! You can't!
Do not be sad, Virginia.
These last few weeks
have been the happiest
I've had for 300 years.
[gentle music]
I'm sorry, Eleanor.
[music continues]
[stone crackling]
[Virginia whimpering]
Well, that's that.
Goodbye, Virginia.
Please, no!
Until we meet again.
[mystical whooshing]
[Lucretia sobbing]
[soft music]
Come on, Virginia!
Wake up, Sis!
Please, wake up!
I'll never play another prank!
Oh! [sobs]
[Virginia gasps]
Oh, oh my darling!
You're back!
She's back!
Pumpkin, my
pumpkin, you're back!
I knew she'd be fine.
Yeah, me too.
Wait, Sir Simon!
[Virginia groans]
[Henry gasps]
[gates creaking]
[birds chirping]
[Virginia sniffling]
It's all over now, pumpkin.
You're safe.
All he wanted
was to be with his wife.
[Grim reaper] "When a little
girl can ask
for freedom
from the angel's grasp.
When the barren almond bears,
and a golden child
gives away her tears,
then shall all
the house be still
and peace come to Canterville."
[rock clattering]
[gentle music]
[Virginia gasps]
[mystical whooshing]
[Sir Simon gasping]
Sir Simon!
I hope you're looking forward
to an eternity in
a glass jar, you fiend!
[ray buzzing]
[Algernean screams]
Oh, yeah.
It was us.
[Sir Simon laughs]
Thank you, my dear Virginia.
[giggles] What took you so long?
[Hiram] There are more
things in heaven and earth
than I dreamt of
in my philosophy.
Hamlet, ish.
Very good, Mr. Otis.
There's hope for you yet!
[mystical whooshing]
[gentle music]
[tool tapping]
That's better.
Everything's in
its proper place.
If there's one thing
I can't abide, it's a loose end.
Now you remember, young
miss, time trickles by so fast.
You be sure to
make the most of it.
[Virginia chuckles]
[Virginia sighs]
[Henry sighs]
[Virginia giggles]
[bright music]
I now pronounce
you husband and wife.
[guests chuckling]
Oh. [laughs]
Oh, I want it!
I've got it!
[Mrs. Umney laughing]
Oh, yay! That was a good catch,
my dear!
Let's go have an adventure.
Righto. [chuckles]
[Virginia laughs]
[Henry laughs]
Oh, yay!
[Kent] Bye, Virginia!
Oh, are you crying, dear?
[Kent] Oh, wow!
[Hiram] No.
I mean, yes, I am.
Love you, pumpkin!
[Sir Simon] And now the house
is calm and still,
[Henry whooping]
[Virginia whooping]
[Sir Simon] for peace has
come to Canterville.
[triumphant music]
[music continues]
[light instrumental music]
[music continues]
[music continues]
[playful music]
[anticipatory music]
[music intensifies]
[music continues]
[dramatic music]
[playful instrumental music]
[music continues]
[glass shatters]
[Kent] It was the ghost!
[Louis] We don't have
a ghost anymore, Kent!
[Kent] It was Louis!