The Christmas Charade (2024) Movie Script
[dramatic music]
There you are.
I thought you changed your mind.
Oh, I couldn't let you leave
without opening your present.
Now, could I?
Merry Christmas.
[dramatic music continues]
[object clicks]
The Naughty List.
Santa always delivers.
Come with me.
-I can't.
-You can.
All you have to do
is choose us right now.
[man] I think she went this way.
It's now or never.
Okay. Let's go.
[TV characters indistinctly]
[dramatic music continues]
They're coming.
You ready?
-Jump first.
-[both] Think later.
[man] There they are.
[dramatic music continues]
[phone alarm chimes]
[quirky music]
[cheerful music]
[Whitney] So the reindeer
and the arctic hare
took off down the hill.
Faster and faster they ran past
the towering pines
to the frozen meadow below.
With a quick
wave to the reindeer,
the arctic hare tucked
in his cozy den
where he stayed safe inside
forever.
The end.
All right.
Have a wonderful
Christmas break, you guys.
And remember,
if you have Christmas trees
at home, no incandescent lights.
Okay?
They're a fire hazard.
Okay, that's it for story
time.
Go on outside
and I'll meet you there. Okay?
You know, for a
librarian, you sure do slip in
a lot of fire safety references.
Kids need repetition.
Anyway.
Tell me about the dress
shopping.
Did you find the one?
No. Not yet.
Kurt said
he'd marry me in a paper bag.
But I don't know, I just want
everything to be perfect.
Kurt's such a good guy.
Well, that's just more proof
that online dating actually
works.
Sorry, but that's just
how people meet these days.
-It's a fact.
-Okay. You want to talk facts?
10 percent of all users are
straight up scammers.
-Scary.
-And 53 percent of them
greatly
exaggerate their profiles.
So at best, you're
just waiting for a huge letdown.
And at worst, like, oh.
Wow, your parents really did
a number on you.
No, they prepared me.
You have no idea
what working for a home
security company exposes you to.
Well, how about meeting
a friend of a friend, then?
Lisa's cousin is newly single.
He's super nice, a dentist,
very stable career.
His name is Mark
and he's open to meeting you.
You know I don't give
my phone number to people
-I don't know.
-Which is why
I got you his email.
So you can reach out
on your super safe cyber
VPN thing or whatever.
"MarkLovesCats1922."
At least he's honest.
Come on, Whit. It's
Christmas break.
There's no school,
no summer camps to take care of,
no responsibilities.
-I don't know.
-Whit.
At some point you have to drop
the books, turn off the TV
and dive into a real adventure.
[school bell rings]
Don't chicken out.
All right, grab your bags.
[Rachel speaking indistinctly]
[quirky music]
I like cats.
[cheerful music]
[doorbell rings]
[ambient Christmas music]
[locks clunk]
Hi, Honey.
Merry Christmas.
Oh, it smells good.
Okay. That's [indistinct]
is holding up well.
Yeah, it doesn't stick.
Unlike
the last one you installed.
Whoa, look at that.
Cranberry orange mascarpone.
There was no ginger bundt cake?
I thought I would venture out
a little bit.
-It looks delicious.
-Thank you.
Okay, this may sound crazy, but
what do you guys think
about doing something
a little different
this year for Christmas?
[curious music]
Like skiing.
Honey, you do
realize that skiing
is the second most dangerous
sport in the world, right?
No, I think that's wrong.
Snowboarding is worse.
Regardless.
Humans weren't meant to go
flying down a snowy mountainside
at 30 miles an hour.
30 miles an hour, Dad?
-None of us are that good.
-What's wrong with game night?
Nothing. Nothing is wrong
with game night.
I love game night.
It's just we do it every month.
And I thought we could do
something a little more
exciting.
It's Christmas
themed game night, Whit.
It is exciting.
And I've got some new
charade
prompts that your mother
and I think quite hilarious.
Yeah, he's really
stepped it up this year.
Okay, Dad.
Did you talk
to Rachel about the wedding?
Did she find a dress?
No, but I'm sure she will.
So apparently we'll be sitting
with the Bernards, and,
they have a son
who's an ophthalmologist.
-Newly single.
-Mom.
Well, in case
you're not bringing a date.
I could totally meet someone.
Yeah, like Doctor Bernard,
the ophthalmologist.
Mulled wine anyone?
-Yes.
-Mh-hm. Please.
[curious music]
[Whitney] Okay.
[upbeat holiday music]
Good afternoon, everyone.
I'd like to take a quick moment
to acknowledge the hard work
you've put in this year.
I know we've logged
a lot of long hours lately,
so I hope you take
the next few days
to spend it with your
family and loved ones, and...
[gentle music]
Agent Dawson. Just in time.
Care for a refreshment?
No, I'm good. Thanks.
Here for the 4 o'clock.
Right.
Anyway,
cheers and happy holidays.
[all] Cheers!
[upbeat holiday music]
You know, it wouldn't
kill you to show up early.
Shake a few hands. It's
Christmas.
I don't really do Christmas,
or small talk.
-Oh, we've noticed
-Anyway. Why'd you call me?
Because I have an update
on the Bateman file.
They have a new target, sir.
-Agent Dawson--
-This is a big one.
Josh.
I'm shutting you down.
-What?
-I'm sorry. It's time.
You've been undercover
six months,
and you have nothing linking
the suspect to any crime,
let alone the disappearance
of six priceless artifacts.
Okay, so you're telling me
that every time
Lou Bateman shows up
at one of these fancy events
and something goes missing
that's just a coincidence?
Doesn't matter what I think.
-It matters--
-What I can prove, I know.
Well,
I'm going to prove it to you.
I'm already hearing chatter on
the black market about all this.
-Buyers are sniffing around.
-What is it?
They call
it the Heart of Christmas.
It was given to a German
princess in the early 1800s
by the son of a wealthy American
industrialist.
It's supposed to be worth over
$10 million.
Now the owners only bring it out
once a year on Christmas Eve
to raise money for various
charities around the world.
And this year,
it is the centrepiece
at the Mistletoe Ball
at the New York Arts
and History Museum.
That's a big event. Swanky.
And guess who's on the board?
Lou Bateman's wife.
Patty.
It has taken me some time,
but I finally secured
a lunch meeting
with them tomorrow
to discuss a business
partnership.
Well, if this goes well, it's
going to put me in close contact
with him over the holidays,
and I will be able
to figure out his plan
and how he's going to steal it.
I'm already catching heat
for giving you
an opportunity to begin
with.
Sir. You've
got to trust me on this one.
[chuckles] Trust you?
The last time I trusted you,
you arrested a perp
without approval.
That guy was going to get away.
And you upset every senior agent
in the building.
You danced around protocol,
and you alienated
all your colleagues.
I work better alone.
And you don't have a single
piece of concrete evidence.
Tell me why I shouldn't
take you off this case
and send you to the stacks
for the rest of your career.
These criminals,
they're smart.
They could sniff out one
of your suits a mile away.
The fact that other cops
don't like me,
that's
what makes me good at this.
I can blend in
where they can't.
You know it. I know it.
I just need until Christmas Eve.
If I'm wrong about this,
I'll pack up my desk and I'll
move to the basement myself.
Fine.
But you
better make a reservation
for tomorrow with the Bateman's
for four people.
-Why?
-I'm sending in Agent
Kiera Tanner to join you.
As your girlfriend.
She's new, but good.
You step out of line,
I want to know about it.
-Sir--
-Don't push me, Dawson.
It's either
the girlfriend or the stacks.
I'll call the restaurant.
[cheerful music]
I'm so proud of you
for biting the bullet.
So, how did he respond?
Weird? Cool?
Too many exclamation points?
Not enough exclamation points?
Short and sweet.
Something like, "Sounds good.
Villa Amici. 1:00 P.M.
I'll be wearing
a green sweater."
Okay. Straightforward, kind.
Just lunch.
So not too much pressure.
I love it.
Your sweater, on the other hand.
Oh, yeah.
What's wrong with it?
It belongs
in a World War II museum.
[scoffs] It does not.
Come on, loosen up with it.
Put your hair down.
Hmm. Ah.
How about this?
Oh, yeah.
No, see, this is my party shirt.
Well, now it's your date shirt.
Okay.
[cheerful music]
[dramatic music]
[phone vibrating]
[phone vibrating]
[phone vibrating]
[dramatic music continues]
Deck the halls
with boughs of holly
Fa la la la la
[dramatic music]
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Thank you. That was very nice.
-I just--
-[carolers singing]
[dramatic music continues]
Hi.
I'm just meeting someone here
actually.
[spoon clanks]
Oh. There he is.
Thank you.
[curious music]
Hi.
You're late.
Oh. Uh.
Yeah, I guess I am.
Oh, sorry.
I just get lost
coming off the subway.
-Did you read the file?
-Your profile?
Yeah.
No. But, Rachel filled me in.
Rachel?
I've never worked with her.
Oh, your cousin's friends
or something.
Maybe I got that wrong.
Okay, great.
We have to go over it
before they arrive.
-Okay, tell me Kelly--
-It's Whitney.
I'm pretty sure
that it was Kelly, but okay.
Fine, Whitney.
How did we meet?
Well, we're currently meeting.
Are you kidding me? You--
You were supposed to
memorize the backstory.
What backstory?
I'm sorry. This isn't really my
cup of tea, Mark.
No, it's not Mark.
It's Johnny.
Okay, Johnny.
This is getting weird and,
quite frankly, confusing.
Do you even love cats?
-No.
-[man] Hi, Johnny?
Wait. No.
-Sit down.
-No, sir.
Don't go. Please.
There he is, Johnny boy.
Hey, there he is. Hey.
You didn't tell us
you were bringing a date.
You didn't tell me it was a
group thing either.
We must have got our wires
crossed. Lou,
Patty, meet Whitney,
my girlfriend.
-[Lou] Oh.
-Sorry?
I'm here for Johnny.
Party of four.
Okay. [chuckles]
We'll be right back.
Actually, never mind.
Hey, wait!
You do not get to follow me.
-Easy now.
-Girlfriend?
Really? We just met.
It's
not what you think.
Take one step
closer and I will use it.
I have excellent aim.
Just let me explain.
-I'm calling the police.
-I am the police.
[laughs] No, sir.
You are a lunatic.
I'm special Agent
Josh Dawson, FBI.
I'm currently in the middle
of an undercover operation,
and there's a big mistake.
I was expecting a female agent
who was supposed
to play my girlfriend.
But you sat down instead.
No, I sat down with
MarkLovesCats1922,
in a green sweater.
It's Christmas. Every guy in
here has a green sweater.
Oh, no.
Unfortunately, you are now
a part of this investigation.
And if you leave now, it
will look extremely suspicious.
It will blow
six months of work.
Criminals that walk
loose on the streets
could potentially
put our lives in danger.
I just signed up
for a little adventure.
You know, like a,
like a really little one.
I just need you to sit down
at the table with me,
pretend to be my girlfriend,
and when the meal's over,
I will find
a way to get you out safely.
-Understood?
-Yes.
But, no.
Whitney. Look at me.
You can do this.
It's one hour of your life.
That's it.
One hour? With a criminal?
No, I'm a librarian.
Okay.
This is what we do.
Let me do the talking.
Defer to me.
They ask you any questions,
keep it vague.
We can get through this.
We have to get through this.
Please.
Okay.
You promise
you can get me out?
I promise.
Sorry about that.
-You okay?
-Yeah, yeah.
So we like the tasting menu
here.
You two okay with that?
Sounds perfect.
[ambient jazz music]
[Lou] And that's
when I had to say to him,
"Johnny.
Remember to hold on to the club
when you swing." This guy.
He plays golf like he's
batting in the major league.
What can I say?
I'm more of a Babe Ruth
than a Tiger Woods.
I liked him immediately.
He's not like
the other Wall Street guys.
Thanks.
But you already
knew that, right?
Do you know most shellfish
allergies develop in adulthood?
I did not know that.
Women are more likely
to suffer than men.
You don't have to
eat the scallops, Babe.
I just think,
maybe starting to hit me.
You know? [chuckles]
Is anyone else having trouble?
I'm sorry.
I just babble when I'm nervous.
Why are you nervous?
I mean...
Look at you two.
You're both so successful
and attractive.
It's almost scary.
[Patty] Aw.
That's very sweet of you to say,
but we're just regular joes.
Promise.
So, Whitney,
what do you do for a job?
I am a dancer.
Ballroom dancer, actually.
Yeah. Or I was, you know,
just kind of in another life.
Are you kidding?
-[Whitney] No.
-How exciting.
Oh, I love ballroom dancing.
There's something
so romantic about it.
I always wanted to learn,
but I have two left feet.
It's true. She does.
So what do
you do now that you're retired?
You said former dancer.
I did.
She's more in between
jobs right now.
-Yeah.
-Oh, really?
Are you looking for work?
-No--
-[Whitney] Yeah.
-And, no.
-Because I'm planning this huge
charity ball for the museum on
the 24th, and I am so far behind
right? I mean, seating
charts and vendor questions.
The list goes on and on.
I could really use your help.
Really? Wow.
That sounds like a lot of work.
-Yeah--
-It's just until Christmas.
You could come over
and we could hang out
while the boys do their,
business thing.
Yeah.
I'd love to.
Yay, Whitney.
We're gonna have so much fun.
So much fun.
-This is--
-A big problem.
-Agent Tanner.
-Sir.
What happened out there?
Did you replace me?
-I was never informed.
-You were late.
There were carolers everywhere.
They cornered me.
Anyway, when I arrived,
she was already in there.
And you stopped
answering my calls.
We were a little preoccupied.
I'm so sorry.
The lunch is over now,
and you guys can take over.
I'll just go home and
forget this ever happened.
Right? Right.
Sir, we
have to find a way to get
Whitney out safely.
I suggest we stage
a public breakup
or something of that sort.
Agreed.
The goal of this meeting
was to secure an invitation
to the Bateman's residence.
-Correct?
-Correct. But--
Did Whitney not just accept
a job offer from Patty Bateman?
Which would bring the both of
you there on a regular basis?
I have a job.
Technically. I mean, we are on
Christmas vacation now.
You heard her.
She can't do it.
If we pull Whitney now,
they'll get suspicious.
It'll just be a few days.
All she'd have to do
is plan the mistletoe ball
with the suspect's wife.
Is that something
that you have experience with?
I planned the snowball dance
for the school every year.
Not exactly the same thing.
You try corralling 120 kids.
It's not that easy.
I have 10 year old twins,
and they are...
Incomprehensible.
I think she's well prepared.
Sir, if I may.
She has no poker face.
She rants when she gets nervous.
Who knows what she'll say
if she gets put on the spot.
She could blow the entire op.
You can train her. Strategies
for coping with stress.
Basic intel gathering.
-Self-defense.
-Is Christmas,
you know, I'm sure she would
rather be home with her family.
Actually,
I'm free.
I do have a game night on
Christmas Eve with my parents,
which they will freak
if I don't come to, but
other than that.
The events Christmas Eve, so.
So if it all goes well,
you'll have this wrapped up
before then.
-Right?
-Right.
So, Whitney,
will you do it?
Yes. I will.
Excellent. Agent Dawson will
send you the case file.
You two can
meet up first thing tomorrow.
[curious music]
The bureau
sent over a bunch of clothes.
Anything you might need.
-Oh, wow.
-One of those for me?
Yes. I got black
and a gingerbread latte.
I wasn't sure
which one you'd like.
I'm a sucker for nutmeg.
Wouldn't have really
gotten that from this.
There's not a wreath
or a twinkle in sight.
I have other priorities.
Did you read the material
I sent over?
I did.
So you are aware of the mission
parameters?
Yes.
Save a priceless necklace
from a life on the black market.
That's right. Yeah.
We set up a phone for you.
If we get separated,
you need me.
You use this.
And remember, we,
supposed to be a couple, so.
Right. You got it.
So once we get to
the Bateman residence,
your goal will be to occupy
Patty while I--
Do all the work?
I didn't say that.
Well, we got the bickering down.
Not all couples bicker.
-At least not the good ones.
-Okay.
If you find a good one,
let me know.
My parents for one.
Really?
Yeah.
They set the bar kind of high.
Yet, you were willing to go on
a blind date
with MarkLovesCats1922?
Like you wouldn't
go on a blind date.
Oh, I don't date.
It's too risky.
And here.
You're going to want to
wear these.
How'd you know my size?
We're the FBI.
Okay, let's go over the
backstory.
We'll start with the easy stuff.
Where did we meet?
A, restaurant.
B, museum. C, subway,
D, FBI headquarters.
I feel like you're
trying to trick me.
Whitney.
-A, restaurant.
-No.
We did meet in a restaurant.
We met at the 81st Street
subway station.
I saw you standing there.
We locked eyes.
The rest is history.
Did you not read the material?
It's 340 pages.
These are important parts.
Don't bury it in
an unreadable document.
Seriously,
you could afford to weave
a little
bit of narrative in here.
Go ahead.
Name the six missing
artifacts. Go.
Bronze Aphrodite.
Goddess of Love.
Cleopatra's love notes.
-Wrong.
-King Tut's.
Love notes?
Or scrolls or whatever.
Go again.
Spycraft.
You need to be able to send
a text message
from your phone in your pocket
without anyone knowing.
We'll start with something
simple, like, "ETA 6 P.M."
Okay.
[phone vibrates]
-Man.
-Go again.
It's harder than it looks.
[phone chimes]
Now, good self-defence
is all about momentum.
You don't want to be caught
flat footed.
That'll put your opponent
to advantage.
Okay. Looks pretty good.
-Thanks. You sure?
-Swing at me.
-Yeah.
-Okay.
-[body thuds]
-[Josh grunts]
Yeah, that was--
That was good.
I forgot to say, my parents
put me in a lot of martial arts
classes as a kid.
And dance classes.
Now you're just showing off.
Wait, so the whole ballroom
dancer thing was--
Oh, no, that's mostly true.
Just being a librarian
is easier on your joints.
[dramatic music]
[body thuds]
Again?
We met on the 81st Street
platform.
We've been together four months.
Things are just starting
to get serious.
You haven't met my family,
and you have no family.
Good.
[dramatic music continues]
Can I ask you something?
Yeah, sure.
When you said you had no family.
You, you mean like
no family?
No.
Do you care to elaborate?
Nope.
I'm going to change. Pick
something out.
Wheels up in 20.
[door clicks]
[phone chimes]
[curious music]
[Whitney] You can do this.
You're strong.
You're smart. You're capable.
What are you doing?
My affirmations.
They work really
well with the kids.
Okay, try to relax, be yourself.
-Okay.
-Mostly.
Just, keep Patty talking
as long as you can
so I can gather as much intel
as possible.
Best case scenario,
I find something
incriminating and I arrest him
before it gets too far.
And worst case scenario?
We'll cross
that bridge when we have to.
[doorbell chimes]
[quirky music]
Hi. Oh, come in, come in.
It's freezing.
[dramatic music]
-Thank you.
-There.
Thanks again for coming.
I cannot tell you how happy I am
to have some help.
Christmas is so busy.
Yeah. No, of course,
I've actually always wanted
to go to this event, but
the tickets are so expensive.
Wow. Your home is so lovely.
Thank you.
Oh, Lou's waiting for you
upstairs.
Johnny, you can head on up.
Oh. Great, thanks.
-See you in a bit.
-Bye.
You two are so cute.
-Oh.
-Don't you just love love?
I do. Yeah.
So do you want to tell me
where you are in planning?
Oh, yeah.
This way.
[curious music]
Come in.
-Hey.
-Johnny boy.
Have a seat.
I'm sorry
we didn't get into the meat
of the business deal
the other day, you know?
But, that girlfriend of yours.
What a charmer.
You know,
I don't think I'll ever be able
to order scallops again
without thinking of her.
You and me both.
I'll call the caterers later
and confirm the numbers.
Oh, thanks. And don't forget to
include the security team.
-Security team?
-For the necklace.
They've got four
guards on it 24/7.
It's being stored
in a high security
vault near the museum right now.
They won't let anyone see it
until the ball.
Seems like it's in demand.
Oh, it is.
Lucky for me,
Lou can be very persuasive.
Save me from begging. [laughs]
Now, you have some clients
interested in
investing in my startup, right?
Yes I do. And I cannot wait
to dive into it.
But, do you mind if
I use the restroom first?
Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Go ahead.
-Thanks, man.
-Okay.
Have you seen it?
No, but I'm dying to.
[dramatic music]
Tell me again why
it only comes out once a year.
Oh, well, as the story goes,
it was given to a
German princess by her secret
American lover for Christmas.
She only wore it once,
on Christmas Eve, for her father
[Patty speaking faintly]
[Lou] What are you doing?
Hey, sorry, I, I got lost.
Your house is enormous.
Yeah, the powder room's
by the front door.
Right. Of course.
Did you want one?
Oh, no.
No, no, I was just browsing.
It's, quite the selection.
Yeah.
Go ahead then.
You can have one.
Take whichever one you want.
You don't want that.
This is the one.
Whitney's gonna love it.
Thanks.
Yeah, and if you have
any questions at all, just call.
-I'm here.
-Okay. Thank you. Patty.
-Bye.
-I'll call you.
-So, did you find anything?
-No. Nothing.
We're running out of time.
What does that mean?
I'm gonna have to catch him
stealing at the ball.
I got to talk to the museum
director.
Okay.
Hello.
You must be Agent Dawson.
I am, and this is,
-Whitney.
-Hello.
Did Agent Michaels
bring you up to speed?
He did. Yes.
Though I must admit,
I find it hard to believe
that a criminal
would try to steal a necklace.
The Heart of Christmas, no less.
In a room filled with people.
This man is a professional.
He's done it before,
and he could do it again.
So we have to put safety
measures in place to stop him.
Yes, but
this is a high end event,
so we can't have men in their
SWAT gear roaming about.
You know, it just wouldn't be
helpful for the
festive atmosphere.
I understand that, but
our agents will be undercover,
so we will blend in.
No one will be the wiser.
No, I don't know.
If word gets out,
turnout could be low.
And this is the biggest
fundraiser of the year.
[Josh] Word will not get out.
Because this is a covert
operation.
And while your turnout
is important
it cannot be our priority.
Forgive me,
but the money we raise here
enables thousands of children
to immerse themselves
in the arts
that wouldn't
otherwise be able to afford it.
Now, you may not think that's
very important,
but I take my duty seriously.
Well, I take my duty to public
safety seriously.
Henry, if I may, I think we all
want the same things here.
Art should be in a place
like this for everyone
to enjoy, right?
Not floating around
on the black market
for only wealthy people to see.
So if you wouldn't mind
giving us a little tour,
we promise we will make sure
that the necklace
stays in the right hands
and that everyone stays safe.
All right, after you.
Thank you.
I would love to see
some of your favourite pieces.
[Henry] Oh, yes.
This is one of the grand salons
decorated
for whatever season we're in.
Okay, so the necklace
will go right here.
Install security cameras
here and here and over
all the entrances
and the fire escapes.
Why haven't
I received this floor plan yet?
Oh, I will make sure to get you
a copy when we're done here.
-Can I see that for a sec?
-Yeah. For sure.
Thanks.
This.
This is called
"The Dahlia Dance."
Legend has it
that the artist was struck
by lightning
and while unconscious, had
a vision of a beautiful woman
surrounded by red dahlias.
When he woke,
he became obsessed with
finding her, but never could.
But then sometime later,
he ran into a woman
selling red dahlias.
-And--
-It was her.
Indeed.
He gifted this to her
their first Christmas together.
What a beautiful story.
Yes, that is why I curated
the piece back in 1998.
But a few years ago we actually
discovered it was a fake.
But where is the real one?
Buried in a safe outside
Budapest.
It is now worth
more than a Jackson Pollock,
but it remains a hidden gem
unless you know to look for it.
Oh, would you excuse me?
Of course.
What if we created a fake?
What do you mean?
A duplicate necklace with a
little tracker thing in it.
And we could let it get stolen.
And then follow it.
Whitney, that is actually
a really good idea.
We'd have to switch it out
with the real necklace
before it goes on display.
And figure out
where they're storing it.
Oh, it's in a vault
near the museum.
Excuse me?
Yeah. But, 24/7 guards.
According to Patty.
Why didn't you tell me
this sooner?
Well, it never came up.
Okay.
You know,
that doesn't make sense, though.
What makes sense?
We're gonna need
to swap it at the vault.
But if they can't even
get into the vault, how will we?
You leave that to me.
Right now,
we just need to find a jeweler.
I might have one.
Rachel says
she's a bit of a character, but
she made her engagement
ring, and it's stunning.
Okay.
What is going on here?
Jewelry is,
kind of a side hustle.
Her real business is...
-[ambient holiday music]
-Oh, boy.
[Whitney gasps]
Oh, my goodness.
He kind of looks like you.
It's a little more Pollyanna
than my childhood.
What do you mean?
Well, not a lot of
gift exchanges in foster care.
Hello, hello. Merry Christmas.
Would you care
for some peppermint bark?
-Wow.
-I know it's the glasses, right?
I mean, it's the whole Mrs.
Claus package. Really.
Well. What can I help you with?
Twinkle lights, inflatable
lawn decor?
We've got it all.
We're
actually here about jewelry.
Oh, are you two
shopping for a ring?
[both] No.
We're looking for something
a little more custom.
Follow me.
[curious music]
Well, so,
what are we looking at?
Reshaping.
Resetting. Melting gold.
Swapping gemstones.
We need a necklace
that looks like this.
Whoa. That's quite the piece.
I know, it's a family heirloom.
[Josh clears throat]
That we lost
and are trying to replace.
You think you can recreate it?
All right. These are lab
cultured gemstones,
but once I'm done with it,
you will not be able to
tell the difference.
We also
need to add this.
Do you think you can do it?
Piece of cake.
Piece of Christmas cake.
[both laughing]
I will email you
a photo of the necklace.
All right. Excellent.
Give me a couple hours.
-Thank you.
-See you later.
I got to follow up with Kiera
about the storage facility.
You good here for a minute?
-Oh, yeah.
-Okay.
[Rachel] Whitney?
What are you doing here?
Just buying stuff.
What? What are you doing here?
Picking up our wedding bands.
Why haven't
you been answering my calls?
I've been very busy.
What happened with you and Mark?
Why'd you ghost him?
Look, I'm so sorry, I...
I got cold feet, and I bailed,
and I should have texted
you, but, you know what?
We should go out for New Year's.
-Yeah.
-We can go.
Hi.
Hi.
Who's this?
-Johnny.
-Yeah.
Whitney's boyfriend.
Boyfriend?
What's he talking about?
Yeah, he's my boyfriend.
I was going to tell you, but I
wanted to tell my parents first.
And, I'm
going to call them today,
but Rachel was just leaving, so.
-Oh.
-I was?
Oh, I was, yes.
Nice seeing you. And,
nice meeting you. Boyfriend.
Nice to meet you.
[item jingles]
Should I be worried?
Boyfriend?
What did you want me to say?
Anything else.
Literally anything.
[bright music]
All righty then.
I think that does it.
Wow. Well done.
Why thank you.
There you go sir.
You might be hearing from me
again.
Oh, well you know
where to find me here.
-Here, or The North Pole.
-[all laughing]
Thank you.
That's a nice couple.
[bright music]
Wow. Look at you.
Look at all this.
Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.
It just needed a festive boost.
Hope you're taking that
with you.
What? No.
This is an early Christmas
present from your fake
-girlfriend.
-[chuckles]
I don't really do presents.
From anybody?
-Wow.
-Look, don't look so sad.
Okay?
Christmas is just another day
for me.
Anyway. Kiera, sent over the
schematics for the vault.
There's only one short
term holding area
in the whole building.
The necklace has to be here.
Now, there's only two ways
in and out.
There's a front door
which is two feet of solid steel
and guarded 24/7.
-And the other way?
-The ceiling.
I'll enter
through the vent shaft.
Replace the real necklace
with the replica,
and then I'll climb out.
Did you call in the diversion?
Oh, yes.
The Christmas cookies
will be delivered in one hour.
Excellent.
What happens if you need backup?
I won't need back up.
I'll be in and out.
Now you tell me what happens
if someone sees you.
Right. I stage an epic family
fight over the phone.
Mom is having
a Christmas meltdown.
Too many tasks
in too little time.
Just don't yell so loud
they actually call the police.
Do we get walkie talkies?
No. You ready?
Yeah.
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun
it is to ride
You want to turn
that down a bit?
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Kind of calms
the nerves, you know?
Don't be nervous.
Your part's done.
This is up to me.
You're going to be all right.
Right?
Worried about me?
So what if I am?
Don't be. This is what I do.
So what's your trick?
Breathing?
Meditation? Hypnotism?
No trick.
It's all I've ever known.
All right.
I'll see you soon.
[door shuts]
[dramatic music]
Here we go.
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Please don't
let us get caught
I'd like to live another day
And I love Christmas
a lot, hey
[phone rings]
-[quirky music]
-[phone rings]
[phone rings]
Hi, Mom.
This isn't really a good time.
Why? What do you mean?
Where are you?
Just, just out for a drive.
[Cheryl] At night,
in the winter?
Yeah, which is
why I shouldn't talk,
you know, safety in the car.
-Okay, bye.
-Oh, no, wait a minute.
I just have to ask a question.
I ran into Rachel.
What is this about?
You having a boyfriend?
Oh, yeah. I'll explain later.
Why didn't you tell us?
I was going to.
-I swear.
-[Cheryl] When?
Soon.
You know, just
trying to find the right time.
[Cheryl] Why don't you bring him
to game night on Christmas Eve?
We'd love to meet him.
Yeah. Shoot.
You know,
something came up, and,
I'm gonna have to reschedule.
What do you mean something came
up? It's a family tradition.
I know, I know.
Which is why
we should do it
tomorrow on the 23rd.
Oh. Okay. All right.
-[alarm blares]
-[Cheryl] What was that?
Oh, nothing. Nothing.
Okay. Love you. Bye.
[alarm blares]
It's fine.
You've got this.
[door clicks]
-[alarm continues blaring]
-[dramatic music]
[whispers] Josh?
[whispers] Josh?
[door thuds]
[Josh] Whitney! Grab on.
[Josh] You were supposed
to stay in the car.
I heard an alarm.
-I was worried.
-Who do you think set it off?
To get them away
from their posts.
Sorry for trying to save
your life.
I had it under control.
Sure.
"Come work with the FBI.
Plan a party. It'll be fine."
-What are you saying?
-You haven't seen "Die Hard?"
No.
[quirky music]
Jeez. Best Christmas
movie ever.
Shhh. Right here.
There's no tie off.
What's that?
If I go down, do you think you
can pull me back up?
-No.
-Then you got to do it.
[quirky music]
You're serious?
I'll give you the fake.
Lower you down.
You swap out the necklace
and I'll lift you back up.
Easy peasy.
Okay? You got this.
Okay.
-Okay, I got this.
-Okay.
Just remember, no matter
what you do,
do not let go of the rope.
The cookies are arriving in
three, two, one.
Hey, guys, check it out.
Special delivery.
[dramatic music]
[alarm blares]
[man] I'll check
the electrical box.
-You guys stay here.
-[alarm blares]
We should lock everything down
just to be safe.
[whispers] Forget it.
We gotta go.
-[alarm blares]
-[Whitney speaks indistinctly]
[whispers] Leave it!
[alarm continunes blaring]
Once they lock the place down,
there would
have been no getting out.
-You okay?
-Yeah.
Why did
you set off another alarm?
-I didn't.
-Oh, oh.
I was right there.
I could have gotten.
I know,
but something didn't feel right.
I did not want to take that
chance.
And we're going to have to wait
till the gala
to swap the necklace
before Lou can steal it.
I'm gonna have to call Kiera
to set up a meeting tomorrow.
Speaking of tomorrow,
we have to go to game night
with my parents.
Say what?
They want to meet
my new boyfriend.
[quirky holiday music]
Santa and Mrs. Claus
have landed. No tail.
-You're good to go.
-Copy that.
Thank you.
Your parents have arrived.
It's go time.
Is this really necessary?
Oh, yes.
This is mandatory.
Everything is great.
We just need to get
through the next two hours.
Be yourself.
And everything will be fine.
Just, you know, maybe lose,
like, 20 percent of the scowl.
I'm not scowling.
You are radiating tension.
Look, I get it. You're mad.
You did not sign up
to meet my family.
No, no, it's.
It's not that. I just.
I've never.
You've never met
a girlfriend's family before?
Oh, okay.
Wow.
That's okay.
When in doubt, just ask them
questions about them
or any home security system.
-They love that.
-[door knocking]
-Hi, Honey.
-Hi.
Oh, it looks so gorgeous
in here.
And there he is.
The enigma himself.
Yeah. Mom, this is Johnny.
Johnny, this is my mom, Cheryl.
And my dad, Jim.
-Nice to meet you.
-Likewise. Likewise.
So, how did you meet?
Dad, can we have some snacks
before we start the
Spanish Inquisition.
[quirky music]
The game is Christmas charades.
Now, everything in
this hat is holiday themed,
so you have to be very specific.
Got it.
Johnny, what do you say
you and I team up?
No. That's okay.
We'll stick together.
[Josh] No. It's okay.
I'd love to.
[Whitney] Really?
-Yeah.
Okay. Ladies first.
Do you need to take that?
It's just Patty.
She's wondering if--
[Josh clears throat]
If I'm ready for the book
fair in January.
I'm ready. [chuckles]
Okay.
One minute on the clock and go.
Okay.
Chicken. Chicken dance.
No, that's not Christmas.
Partridge in a pear tree? No.
Oh! Christmas turkey.
Turkey. Turkey. Turkey.
-Christmas dinner?
-Yes. Ha! Ha!
That was Oscar worthy.
-I'd like to see you do better.
-So would I.
-All right.
-[Cheryl] Okay, and, go!
[quirky music]
Pillow.
Nose. Smells like a pillow.
Christmas pillow decor?
Basketball?
[Jim speaks indistinctly]
Right.
Dog? No. Okay. Right.
Okay. Follow your nose.
[Jim mumbling]
All right. Oh, horse! Horse.
Dad, you're just saying
random words.
Don't you help. Go on.
Christmas sleigh ride? No.
Oh! Pig!
Pig! Dog! Sleigh!
-No?
-Oh, Jim, you're being cruel.
You know, don't you?
Yes. Fine. It's Rudolph.
Welcome to charades.
[all laughing]
You are terrible.
You were great.
Mom. You're up.
Okay.
Okay.
[gentle music]
Cracking?
[Whitney speaks indistinctly]
[gentle music continues]
-So, Honey.
-Mom?
He's awfully cute.
I can tell that
he really likes you.
What I don't understand
is what took you
so long to tell us?
You know how
you and Dad like to vet
the people that I'm dating?
I just wanted the chance
to get to know
him without the pressure.
Maybe make my own mistakes
for once?
Is it a mistake?
No.
I don't think it is.
Sorry about earlier.
That's fine.
I do get a little protective.
You should.
You know,
when she was seven years old,
she found a stray
cat in our garage
and it had six kittens.
Cheryl and I
are allergic to cats, so
we couldn't
have them around, and,
Whitney was inconsolable.
She gets attached
very quickly
and very deeply.
So, do me a favor.
If you're not into it for real,
just do the right thing.
Just walk away.
Oh, God. Trust me.
Last thing I want
is for anyone to get hurt.
Especially her.
Another round?
Yeah. Thanks.
All right.
Oh, and, Jim.
She's lucky to have you guys.
Thank you.
[Whitney speaking indistinctly]
Well, it was great to meet you,
Johnny.
The pleasure was mine.
-Drive safe.
-We will, of course.
She hasn't gone over 50
miles an hour in over two years.
[Cheryl laughs]
Thank you for changing
your plans and coming tonight.
We didn't really have
much of a choice, did we?
Tell me,
what are you doing tomorrow?
A party.
A party?
Where?
It's, a silent auction
thing at the museum.
You mean the Mistletoe Ball?
-Yeah.
-Since when?
Since I invited her.
It's kind of a work thing.
Tell me what it is
you do again, Johnny?
-Finance.
-Oh, right.
Okay!
We'll see you on Christmas.
Okay. Yeah. Bye.
-Okay. Goodbye. All right.
-Love you.
-Love you.
-[Jim] Bye.
-[both] Bye.
-Bye. I'll call you.
-Bye bye.
-[Jim] Yeah.
-[Whitney] Yep.
[door shuts]
[Whitney sighs]
I think that was great.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-That was weird.
-Yeah.
Texts. Rescheduling.
The ball.
The chemistry seems genuine.
Maybe. There's something
she's not telling us.
How's it going in there?
[Whitney] I'm almost ready.
Good, because I want to go
over the plan one more--
[soft music]
I think it fits.
Yeah.
Should we go over it again?
Yeah.
Go for it.
Okay.
Suspect is Lou Bateman,
believed to be responsible
for the theft of six
stolen priceless artifacts
from around the world.
His next target
is the Heart of Christmas,
otherwise known as the Mona
Lisa of jewelry,
and only comes out
once a year, so.
So it's our last shot.
But no pressure, right?
After we arrive at the museum,
we will wait for Patty's
introductory remarks.
And then I will create
a diversion.
A gentle nudge
at the champagne tower and?
Kaboom.
I cut
the power and swap the necklace.
And hopefully no one
is the wiser.
Now, we don't know who
Lou is working with
or when he's
going to make his move,
so we have to keep an eye out
for his accomplices,
but do not follow them yourself.
You leave that to me.
You having second thoughts?
-No.
-It's okay if you are.
Because we can always say
you got sick.
You don't have to come.
You still don't think
I can do this?
I didn't say that.
No, it's,
it's fair.
In my life,
anything like this,
I probably would have been
absolutely terrified.
But for the first time ever,
I feel like I'm
a part of something
important.
Like, I can help people.
And I want to see that through.
Plus,
Patty will be
really mad if we don't show up.
That's true.
And we can't have that. So,
unless you want to be late.
Shall we?
[dramatic music]
Agent Dawson,
we are in position,
and we are standing by.
Copy that.
Here we go.
[dramatic music continues]
There it is.
[Lou] There he is.
Johnny boy!
-[Lou] Hey.
-[Patty] Oh, Whitney!
It looks incredible in here.
-And so do you.
-Thank you.
This is Henry,
the museum director.
These are our new friends,
Whitney and Johnny.
It's nice to meet you.
Yes, it's nice to meet you.
Henry has done such a brilliant
job curating the museum.
Have you seen the Dahlia Dance?
It is my favorite piece
in the whole museum.
I mean, aside from the necklace.
[laughs]
[announcer] Patty Bateman,
to the stage.
Honey, I think that's your cue.
Have fun, you two.
I better go for moral support.
I'll catch up with you.
All right?
Sounds good.
-Ready?
-Ready.
[dramatic music]
[Patty] Good evening, everyone,
and welcome to the 10th annual
Mistletoe Ball.
In honour of the museum's
Art for Kids program.
On behalf of Henry Kopelman and
our lovely board of directors,
we would like to thank you all
for coming.
Your generosity
during this holiday
season is deeply appreciated,
and we do have a number of fun
things to do tonight. But first,
we want to remind you that
we do indeed have a dance floor.
So here to kick it off with
a tango is a former
professional dancer
and my new bestie, Whitney.
Take it away,
Whitney and Johnny!
What's happening here?
[classical ballroom music]
Are you going to dance?
Okay.
I guess there's no
good way to get out of this now.
I don't think so.
And the necklace?
We'll keep eyes on it.
Have you ever danced the tango
before?
Nope.
Follow my lead.
Backwards. Forward.
Down.
Twirl me.
[classical ballroom
music continues]
[gentle music]
[Jim] Hello, Whitney.
Dad?
[quirky music]
What are you doing here?
Well, after last night,
your mother and I
looked up the ball and decided
we had to come.
And this was such a good cause.
We get to see you again.
Boy am I glad we got those
last minute tickets.
That dance was worth
the price of admission.
Well,
I guess all those dance classes
you took me to as a kid
finally paid off.
Where's Mom?
Oh. She's gone to freshen up.
So, John--
What's happened?
-I don't know.
-[Kiera] Dawson, what happened?
-Was that you?
-It's not us.
What's going on?
Find Mom. Stay together.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
We missed it.
-The necklace is gone.
-[Kiera] Copy.
[Kiera] Do you
have a description?
No. Not yet.
Look.
Hey!
[dramatic music]
FBI, stop!
Male, he's got a briefcase.
He's heading for the roof.
Hey!
[body thuds]
You're under arrest. You have
the right to remain silent.
Anything you say will be held
against you.
Josh, look.
It's empty.
It was a decoy.
For what?
[tires screeching]
Is that Henry?
Eagle is on the move. Black SUV.
We have a new suspect.
His name is Henry Kopelman.
He's the museum director.
Mom? Dad?
They have my parents.
[dramatic music]
We now have two hostages.
Repeat. Two hostages.
They're in a second vehicle.
They're heading westbound
towards Main Street.
Wait!
What are you doing?
Going over. I'm
going to cut them off.
I'm coming with you.
No, it's too dangerous.
These are my parents.
[dramatic music continues]
[tires screeching]
Hold on tight.
Jump first. Think later.
[dramatic music]
You okay?
Wait!
[tires screeching]
FBI! Get out of the vehicle!
Hi, Honey.
FBI. Put your
hands where I can...
See them.
How did you do that?
Picked up a few things over the
years, your mother and I.
From the home
security installation business?
Okay. Mom, what is going on?
Before we, started the home
security business--
You were in the bureau?
Spent a few years in the art
fraud department
in the late 80s.
Excuse me?
Hostages are safe.
I repeat, hostages are safe.
So, we met as young recruits.
We worked together
for seven years.
Found out your mother was
pregnant, so--
We both decided
to retire immediately.
What about your home
security company?
We opened it
two months before you were born.
That's all real.
Agent Dawson.
You have eyes on Lou Bateman?
He's already in custody,
but he says
he has nothing to do with it.
Of course he did.
-What about Henry?
-Backup's in pursuit.
We got him on GPS.
Wait. What?
Well, thanks to the tracking
device you installed.
What are you talking about?
We never swapped necklaces.
It's gone.
What? Then who did?
We did it.
Well, why?
Postponing game night?
Not telling us
about your new boyfriend?
Last night,
you just weren't yourself.
Nothing added up.
So we called an old friend
in the bureau,
asked him
to look into Johnny here.
And when we discovered
agent Josh Dawson--
We got tickets to the ball
to make sure you're okay.
And we saw you dancing
and looking at your purse
like a predator
locked on its prey.
So while you were distracted,
we took a peek, saw the necklace
and realized
what was about to happen.
The old bait and switch.
We've done at a time
or two ourselves.
So I took the necklace.
Cut the power.
And during the chaos
that ensued,
I swapped it for you.
But as I was walking away,
I saw someone take it.
We followed. But then.
But anyway, you know the rest.
I still don't understand.
Did you hire Henry?
Oh, he's probably getting
a cut of the sale, Honey.
Yeah.
I can't believe this.
I know it's a lot to take in.
No, what I can't believe
is you guys.
You've been lying to me
for, like, forever.
Honey,
it was for your own safety.
Now you, sir.
I do not know how you got
her mixed up in this.
Whoa! No.
He had nothing to do with this.
In fact, he tried to talk me
out of it multiple times.
-Then why--
-Because I wanted to.
Because my whole life,
I've been trying to be this
perfect daughter for you two.
Being safe, never,
never taking any risks.
It's stifling.
And meanwhile,
you two are like SWAT people.
I need space.
[Jim] Whitney, please.
I'll talk to her.
We're going to have to get
your statements on record.
Can you take them to
headquarters, please?
Of course.
[footsteps clomping]
Whitney, wait.
-You okay?
-No.
Because I can't
help but feel like
everyone in my life
thinks I'm incompetent.
Nobody thinks that.
Yes, they do.
And you, worst of all.
How many times did you say
to your boss, "She can't do it?"
I didn't know you then.
And yet, just two hours ago,
you were trying to convince me
-out of all of this.
-Because I didn't
want you to get hurt.
Not because I thought
you couldn't handle it.
I wanted to protect you.
Like my parents were.
You can't be mad at them
for wanting to keep you safe.
By lying to me?
By not
trusting me.
By crashing
the most exciting thing
in my life.
Whitney, they're your family.
Don't shut them out.
What do you know about family?
[gentle music]
Yeah.
Okay, I'll be right there.
I got to go.
Henry's in custody.
Okay.
I'll have someone
drive you home.
[gentle music continues]
[gentle music]
It's gone.
[Josh] Henry. Henry. Henry.
It's quite the mess
you got yourself into.
Me? Oh, please.
There was nothing subtle
about what you guys did tonight.
You promised no drama.
Says a man who tried to steal
a $10 million necklace.
[glass knocking]
Sir, I just got off the phone
with the museum.
The necklace is not
the only thing missing.
-What?
-Apparently,
a painting was also taken.
It must have happened
after the crowd was evacuated.
Which painting?
It's the one with the woman
and the red flowers.
The Dahlia Dance.
Oh, she is bold.
Gotta give her that.
Wait.
What do you mean, "she?"
Whitney.
-What are you doing here?
-I just wanted to make sure
you're okay
after all the craziness.
May I come in?
Of course.
[Whitney] I didn't know you were
traveling for Christmas.
Last minute trip to Aruba.
Need a break from all this cold.
[faint thud]
What was that?
What was what?
I didn't hear anything.
You know, I've been thinking
about the necklace
and all the artifacts
that went missing.
Bronze Aphrodite,
King Tut's scrolls.
The Dahlia Dance.
You know what
they all have in common?
Love.
You know who loves love?
-Whitney.
-Look, I get it.
Who doesn't love
a romantic story?
I know I do.
I've read all of them.
Leave now
and I will forget you came here.
I can help you, Patty, but
you have to tell me the truth.
I'm afraid
it's too late for that now.
[dramatic music]
-[door thuds]
-FBI. You're under arrest.
I recorded that.
-If that helps.
-Oh. That's great.
Thank you, Whitney.
[uplifting music]
[soft music]
[door knocking]
Merry Christmas, Kiddo.
Can we come in?
[lock clunks]
Listen. About yesterday.
You had every right to be mad.
As a parent, your number one
job is to keep your kids safe.
And despite feeling like we made
the right choice at the time,
we know we took it too far.
We actually thought
you liked your life.
Liked your job.
I didn't realize how much
pressure we're putting on you.
If I'd known
you were so unhappy,
I would have told you sooner.
I am so, so sorry, Honey.
Those kittens you saved that one
Christmas when you were a kid.
I don't know
if you remember this, but,
when you found
them in the garage
those kittens
were up in the rafters.
You had to
climb up there to rescue them.
And that's
how your mother and I found you.
Seven years old.
Hanging by one arm.
Fearless.
You were always
capable, Whitney.
We were just too afraid
to let you go.
[gentle music]
-I'm sorry.
-I know, Dad.
[doorbell rings]
Sorry.
-I should--
-Go.
Right? Yeah. Okay.
Yeah.
Go, go, go, go.
Hi.
Hi.
Never got a chance to thank you.
Things got a little crazy
last night.
-You don't have to.
-Yeah, I do.
Patty would have gotten away
if you hadn't slowed her down.
About what I said at the museum.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
No it's not.
I was upset,
and I took it out on you.
And you didn't deserve that.
Here.
What's this for?
You couldn't
let another Christmas go
by without
someone getting you a present.
[gentle music]
I know this
wasn't your experience
growing up, but
maybe going forward,
it could be?
-Do you mind?
-Oh.
I got a little something
for you, too.
-It's the replica.
-Oh.
And I did remove
the tracker.
Little reminder of everything
that you did this week.
And I hope that
when you look at it,
you see what I see.
An elementary school librarian?
No.
The bravest person
I've ever met.
Anyway, it's, It's Christmas.
I'm sure you want to spend time
with your family, so I'll,
I'll leave you to it.
Wait.
What are you doing tonight?
You know me.
It's just another day.
You could stay.
You are supposed to be
my boyfriend
after all.
Yeah.
About that.
Maybe
we could ditch the fake part.
Sure you don't want to
give MarkLovesCats1922
another shot?
I have never been more
sure of anything in my life.
[gentle music]
-Mom.
-Sorry, sorry. Sorry.
Hey, Josh,
you want to come in?
Dad. It's my apartment.
Of course he's coming in.
We need to work on boundaries.
[Whitney] I was thinking I
should join the FBI.
[all] What?
[dramatic holiday music]
[dramatic holiday music]
There you are.
I thought you changed your mind.
Oh, I couldn't let you leave
without opening your present.
Now, could I?
Merry Christmas.
[dramatic music continues]
[object clicks]
The Naughty List.
Santa always delivers.
Come with me.
-I can't.
-You can.
All you have to do
is choose us right now.
[man] I think she went this way.
It's now or never.
Okay. Let's go.
[TV characters indistinctly]
[dramatic music continues]
They're coming.
You ready?
-Jump first.
-[both] Think later.
[man] There they are.
[dramatic music continues]
[phone alarm chimes]
[quirky music]
[cheerful music]
[Whitney] So the reindeer
and the arctic hare
took off down the hill.
Faster and faster they ran past
the towering pines
to the frozen meadow below.
With a quick
wave to the reindeer,
the arctic hare tucked
in his cozy den
where he stayed safe inside
forever.
The end.
All right.
Have a wonderful
Christmas break, you guys.
And remember,
if you have Christmas trees
at home, no incandescent lights.
Okay?
They're a fire hazard.
Okay, that's it for story
time.
Go on outside
and I'll meet you there. Okay?
You know, for a
librarian, you sure do slip in
a lot of fire safety references.
Kids need repetition.
Anyway.
Tell me about the dress
shopping.
Did you find the one?
No. Not yet.
Kurt said
he'd marry me in a paper bag.
But I don't know, I just want
everything to be perfect.
Kurt's such a good guy.
Well, that's just more proof
that online dating actually
works.
Sorry, but that's just
how people meet these days.
-It's a fact.
-Okay. You want to talk facts?
10 percent of all users are
straight up scammers.
-Scary.
-And 53 percent of them
greatly
exaggerate their profiles.
So at best, you're
just waiting for a huge letdown.
And at worst, like, oh.
Wow, your parents really did
a number on you.
No, they prepared me.
You have no idea
what working for a home
security company exposes you to.
Well, how about meeting
a friend of a friend, then?
Lisa's cousin is newly single.
He's super nice, a dentist,
very stable career.
His name is Mark
and he's open to meeting you.
You know I don't give
my phone number to people
-I don't know.
-Which is why
I got you his email.
So you can reach out
on your super safe cyber
VPN thing or whatever.
"MarkLovesCats1922."
At least he's honest.
Come on, Whit. It's
Christmas break.
There's no school,
no summer camps to take care of,
no responsibilities.
-I don't know.
-Whit.
At some point you have to drop
the books, turn off the TV
and dive into a real adventure.
[school bell rings]
Don't chicken out.
All right, grab your bags.
[Rachel speaking indistinctly]
[quirky music]
I like cats.
[cheerful music]
[doorbell rings]
[ambient Christmas music]
[locks clunk]
Hi, Honey.
Merry Christmas.
Oh, it smells good.
Okay. That's [indistinct]
is holding up well.
Yeah, it doesn't stick.
Unlike
the last one you installed.
Whoa, look at that.
Cranberry orange mascarpone.
There was no ginger bundt cake?
I thought I would venture out
a little bit.
-It looks delicious.
-Thank you.
Okay, this may sound crazy, but
what do you guys think
about doing something
a little different
this year for Christmas?
[curious music]
Like skiing.
Honey, you do
realize that skiing
is the second most dangerous
sport in the world, right?
No, I think that's wrong.
Snowboarding is worse.
Regardless.
Humans weren't meant to go
flying down a snowy mountainside
at 30 miles an hour.
30 miles an hour, Dad?
-None of us are that good.
-What's wrong with game night?
Nothing. Nothing is wrong
with game night.
I love game night.
It's just we do it every month.
And I thought we could do
something a little more
exciting.
It's Christmas
themed game night, Whit.
It is exciting.
And I've got some new
charade
prompts that your mother
and I think quite hilarious.
Yeah, he's really
stepped it up this year.
Okay, Dad.
Did you talk
to Rachel about the wedding?
Did she find a dress?
No, but I'm sure she will.
So apparently we'll be sitting
with the Bernards, and,
they have a son
who's an ophthalmologist.
-Newly single.
-Mom.
Well, in case
you're not bringing a date.
I could totally meet someone.
Yeah, like Doctor Bernard,
the ophthalmologist.
Mulled wine anyone?
-Yes.
-Mh-hm. Please.
[curious music]
[Whitney] Okay.
[upbeat holiday music]
Good afternoon, everyone.
I'd like to take a quick moment
to acknowledge the hard work
you've put in this year.
I know we've logged
a lot of long hours lately,
so I hope you take
the next few days
to spend it with your
family and loved ones, and...
[gentle music]
Agent Dawson. Just in time.
Care for a refreshment?
No, I'm good. Thanks.
Here for the 4 o'clock.
Right.
Anyway,
cheers and happy holidays.
[all] Cheers!
[upbeat holiday music]
You know, it wouldn't
kill you to show up early.
Shake a few hands. It's
Christmas.
I don't really do Christmas,
or small talk.
-Oh, we've noticed
-Anyway. Why'd you call me?
Because I have an update
on the Bateman file.
They have a new target, sir.
-Agent Dawson--
-This is a big one.
Josh.
I'm shutting you down.
-What?
-I'm sorry. It's time.
You've been undercover
six months,
and you have nothing linking
the suspect to any crime,
let alone the disappearance
of six priceless artifacts.
Okay, so you're telling me
that every time
Lou Bateman shows up
at one of these fancy events
and something goes missing
that's just a coincidence?
Doesn't matter what I think.
-It matters--
-What I can prove, I know.
Well,
I'm going to prove it to you.
I'm already hearing chatter on
the black market about all this.
-Buyers are sniffing around.
-What is it?
They call
it the Heart of Christmas.
It was given to a German
princess in the early 1800s
by the son of a wealthy American
industrialist.
It's supposed to be worth over
$10 million.
Now the owners only bring it out
once a year on Christmas Eve
to raise money for various
charities around the world.
And this year,
it is the centrepiece
at the Mistletoe Ball
at the New York Arts
and History Museum.
That's a big event. Swanky.
And guess who's on the board?
Lou Bateman's wife.
Patty.
It has taken me some time,
but I finally secured
a lunch meeting
with them tomorrow
to discuss a business
partnership.
Well, if this goes well, it's
going to put me in close contact
with him over the holidays,
and I will be able
to figure out his plan
and how he's going to steal it.
I'm already catching heat
for giving you
an opportunity to begin
with.
Sir. You've
got to trust me on this one.
[chuckles] Trust you?
The last time I trusted you,
you arrested a perp
without approval.
That guy was going to get away.
And you upset every senior agent
in the building.
You danced around protocol,
and you alienated
all your colleagues.
I work better alone.
And you don't have a single
piece of concrete evidence.
Tell me why I shouldn't
take you off this case
and send you to the stacks
for the rest of your career.
These criminals,
they're smart.
They could sniff out one
of your suits a mile away.
The fact that other cops
don't like me,
that's
what makes me good at this.
I can blend in
where they can't.
You know it. I know it.
I just need until Christmas Eve.
If I'm wrong about this,
I'll pack up my desk and I'll
move to the basement myself.
Fine.
But you
better make a reservation
for tomorrow with the Bateman's
for four people.
-Why?
-I'm sending in Agent
Kiera Tanner to join you.
As your girlfriend.
She's new, but good.
You step out of line,
I want to know about it.
-Sir--
-Don't push me, Dawson.
It's either
the girlfriend or the stacks.
I'll call the restaurant.
[cheerful music]
I'm so proud of you
for biting the bullet.
So, how did he respond?
Weird? Cool?
Too many exclamation points?
Not enough exclamation points?
Short and sweet.
Something like, "Sounds good.
Villa Amici. 1:00 P.M.
I'll be wearing
a green sweater."
Okay. Straightforward, kind.
Just lunch.
So not too much pressure.
I love it.
Your sweater, on the other hand.
Oh, yeah.
What's wrong with it?
It belongs
in a World War II museum.
[scoffs] It does not.
Come on, loosen up with it.
Put your hair down.
Hmm. Ah.
How about this?
Oh, yeah.
No, see, this is my party shirt.
Well, now it's your date shirt.
Okay.
[cheerful music]
[dramatic music]
[phone vibrating]
[phone vibrating]
[phone vibrating]
[dramatic music continues]
Deck the halls
with boughs of holly
Fa la la la la
[dramatic music]
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Thank you. That was very nice.
-I just--
-[carolers singing]
[dramatic music continues]
Hi.
I'm just meeting someone here
actually.
[spoon clanks]
Oh. There he is.
Thank you.
[curious music]
Hi.
You're late.
Oh. Uh.
Yeah, I guess I am.
Oh, sorry.
I just get lost
coming off the subway.
-Did you read the file?
-Your profile?
Yeah.
No. But, Rachel filled me in.
Rachel?
I've never worked with her.
Oh, your cousin's friends
or something.
Maybe I got that wrong.
Okay, great.
We have to go over it
before they arrive.
-Okay, tell me Kelly--
-It's Whitney.
I'm pretty sure
that it was Kelly, but okay.
Fine, Whitney.
How did we meet?
Well, we're currently meeting.
Are you kidding me? You--
You were supposed to
memorize the backstory.
What backstory?
I'm sorry. This isn't really my
cup of tea, Mark.
No, it's not Mark.
It's Johnny.
Okay, Johnny.
This is getting weird and,
quite frankly, confusing.
Do you even love cats?
-No.
-[man] Hi, Johnny?
Wait. No.
-Sit down.
-No, sir.
Don't go. Please.
There he is, Johnny boy.
Hey, there he is. Hey.
You didn't tell us
you were bringing a date.
You didn't tell me it was a
group thing either.
We must have got our wires
crossed. Lou,
Patty, meet Whitney,
my girlfriend.
-[Lou] Oh.
-Sorry?
I'm here for Johnny.
Party of four.
Okay. [chuckles]
We'll be right back.
Actually, never mind.
Hey, wait!
You do not get to follow me.
-Easy now.
-Girlfriend?
Really? We just met.
It's
not what you think.
Take one step
closer and I will use it.
I have excellent aim.
Just let me explain.
-I'm calling the police.
-I am the police.
[laughs] No, sir.
You are a lunatic.
I'm special Agent
Josh Dawson, FBI.
I'm currently in the middle
of an undercover operation,
and there's a big mistake.
I was expecting a female agent
who was supposed
to play my girlfriend.
But you sat down instead.
No, I sat down with
MarkLovesCats1922,
in a green sweater.
It's Christmas. Every guy in
here has a green sweater.
Oh, no.
Unfortunately, you are now
a part of this investigation.
And if you leave now, it
will look extremely suspicious.
It will blow
six months of work.
Criminals that walk
loose on the streets
could potentially
put our lives in danger.
I just signed up
for a little adventure.
You know, like a,
like a really little one.
I just need you to sit down
at the table with me,
pretend to be my girlfriend,
and when the meal's over,
I will find
a way to get you out safely.
-Understood?
-Yes.
But, no.
Whitney. Look at me.
You can do this.
It's one hour of your life.
That's it.
One hour? With a criminal?
No, I'm a librarian.
Okay.
This is what we do.
Let me do the talking.
Defer to me.
They ask you any questions,
keep it vague.
We can get through this.
We have to get through this.
Please.
Okay.
You promise
you can get me out?
I promise.
Sorry about that.
-You okay?
-Yeah, yeah.
So we like the tasting menu
here.
You two okay with that?
Sounds perfect.
[ambient jazz music]
[Lou] And that's
when I had to say to him,
"Johnny.
Remember to hold on to the club
when you swing." This guy.
He plays golf like he's
batting in the major league.
What can I say?
I'm more of a Babe Ruth
than a Tiger Woods.
I liked him immediately.
He's not like
the other Wall Street guys.
Thanks.
But you already
knew that, right?
Do you know most shellfish
allergies develop in adulthood?
I did not know that.
Women are more likely
to suffer than men.
You don't have to
eat the scallops, Babe.
I just think,
maybe starting to hit me.
You know? [chuckles]
Is anyone else having trouble?
I'm sorry.
I just babble when I'm nervous.
Why are you nervous?
I mean...
Look at you two.
You're both so successful
and attractive.
It's almost scary.
[Patty] Aw.
That's very sweet of you to say,
but we're just regular joes.
Promise.
So, Whitney,
what do you do for a job?
I am a dancer.
Ballroom dancer, actually.
Yeah. Or I was, you know,
just kind of in another life.
Are you kidding?
-[Whitney] No.
-How exciting.
Oh, I love ballroom dancing.
There's something
so romantic about it.
I always wanted to learn,
but I have two left feet.
It's true. She does.
So what do
you do now that you're retired?
You said former dancer.
I did.
She's more in between
jobs right now.
-Yeah.
-Oh, really?
Are you looking for work?
-No--
-[Whitney] Yeah.
-And, no.
-Because I'm planning this huge
charity ball for the museum on
the 24th, and I am so far behind
right? I mean, seating
charts and vendor questions.
The list goes on and on.
I could really use your help.
Really? Wow.
That sounds like a lot of work.
-Yeah--
-It's just until Christmas.
You could come over
and we could hang out
while the boys do their,
business thing.
Yeah.
I'd love to.
Yay, Whitney.
We're gonna have so much fun.
So much fun.
-This is--
-A big problem.
-Agent Tanner.
-Sir.
What happened out there?
Did you replace me?
-I was never informed.
-You were late.
There were carolers everywhere.
They cornered me.
Anyway, when I arrived,
she was already in there.
And you stopped
answering my calls.
We were a little preoccupied.
I'm so sorry.
The lunch is over now,
and you guys can take over.
I'll just go home and
forget this ever happened.
Right? Right.
Sir, we
have to find a way to get
Whitney out safely.
I suggest we stage
a public breakup
or something of that sort.
Agreed.
The goal of this meeting
was to secure an invitation
to the Bateman's residence.
-Correct?
-Correct. But--
Did Whitney not just accept
a job offer from Patty Bateman?
Which would bring the both of
you there on a regular basis?
I have a job.
Technically. I mean, we are on
Christmas vacation now.
You heard her.
She can't do it.
If we pull Whitney now,
they'll get suspicious.
It'll just be a few days.
All she'd have to do
is plan the mistletoe ball
with the suspect's wife.
Is that something
that you have experience with?
I planned the snowball dance
for the school every year.
Not exactly the same thing.
You try corralling 120 kids.
It's not that easy.
I have 10 year old twins,
and they are...
Incomprehensible.
I think she's well prepared.
Sir, if I may.
She has no poker face.
She rants when she gets nervous.
Who knows what she'll say
if she gets put on the spot.
She could blow the entire op.
You can train her. Strategies
for coping with stress.
Basic intel gathering.
-Self-defense.
-Is Christmas,
you know, I'm sure she would
rather be home with her family.
Actually,
I'm free.
I do have a game night on
Christmas Eve with my parents,
which they will freak
if I don't come to, but
other than that.
The events Christmas Eve, so.
So if it all goes well,
you'll have this wrapped up
before then.
-Right?
-Right.
So, Whitney,
will you do it?
Yes. I will.
Excellent. Agent Dawson will
send you the case file.
You two can
meet up first thing tomorrow.
[curious music]
The bureau
sent over a bunch of clothes.
Anything you might need.
-Oh, wow.
-One of those for me?
Yes. I got black
and a gingerbread latte.
I wasn't sure
which one you'd like.
I'm a sucker for nutmeg.
Wouldn't have really
gotten that from this.
There's not a wreath
or a twinkle in sight.
I have other priorities.
Did you read the material
I sent over?
I did.
So you are aware of the mission
parameters?
Yes.
Save a priceless necklace
from a life on the black market.
That's right. Yeah.
We set up a phone for you.
If we get separated,
you need me.
You use this.
And remember, we,
supposed to be a couple, so.
Right. You got it.
So once we get to
the Bateman residence,
your goal will be to occupy
Patty while I--
Do all the work?
I didn't say that.
Well, we got the bickering down.
Not all couples bicker.
-At least not the good ones.
-Okay.
If you find a good one,
let me know.
My parents for one.
Really?
Yeah.
They set the bar kind of high.
Yet, you were willing to go on
a blind date
with MarkLovesCats1922?
Like you wouldn't
go on a blind date.
Oh, I don't date.
It's too risky.
And here.
You're going to want to
wear these.
How'd you know my size?
We're the FBI.
Okay, let's go over the
backstory.
We'll start with the easy stuff.
Where did we meet?
A, restaurant.
B, museum. C, subway,
D, FBI headquarters.
I feel like you're
trying to trick me.
Whitney.
-A, restaurant.
-No.
We did meet in a restaurant.
We met at the 81st Street
subway station.
I saw you standing there.
We locked eyes.
The rest is history.
Did you not read the material?
It's 340 pages.
These are important parts.
Don't bury it in
an unreadable document.
Seriously,
you could afford to weave
a little
bit of narrative in here.
Go ahead.
Name the six missing
artifacts. Go.
Bronze Aphrodite.
Goddess of Love.
Cleopatra's love notes.
-Wrong.
-King Tut's.
Love notes?
Or scrolls or whatever.
Go again.
Spycraft.
You need to be able to send
a text message
from your phone in your pocket
without anyone knowing.
We'll start with something
simple, like, "ETA 6 P.M."
Okay.
[phone vibrates]
-Man.
-Go again.
It's harder than it looks.
[phone chimes]
Now, good self-defence
is all about momentum.
You don't want to be caught
flat footed.
That'll put your opponent
to advantage.
Okay. Looks pretty good.
-Thanks. You sure?
-Swing at me.
-Yeah.
-Okay.
-[body thuds]
-[Josh grunts]
Yeah, that was--
That was good.
I forgot to say, my parents
put me in a lot of martial arts
classes as a kid.
And dance classes.
Now you're just showing off.
Wait, so the whole ballroom
dancer thing was--
Oh, no, that's mostly true.
Just being a librarian
is easier on your joints.
[dramatic music]
[body thuds]
Again?
We met on the 81st Street
platform.
We've been together four months.
Things are just starting
to get serious.
You haven't met my family,
and you have no family.
Good.
[dramatic music continues]
Can I ask you something?
Yeah, sure.
When you said you had no family.
You, you mean like
no family?
No.
Do you care to elaborate?
Nope.
I'm going to change. Pick
something out.
Wheels up in 20.
[door clicks]
[phone chimes]
[curious music]
[Whitney] You can do this.
You're strong.
You're smart. You're capable.
What are you doing?
My affirmations.
They work really
well with the kids.
Okay, try to relax, be yourself.
-Okay.
-Mostly.
Just, keep Patty talking
as long as you can
so I can gather as much intel
as possible.
Best case scenario,
I find something
incriminating and I arrest him
before it gets too far.
And worst case scenario?
We'll cross
that bridge when we have to.
[doorbell chimes]
[quirky music]
Hi. Oh, come in, come in.
It's freezing.
[dramatic music]
-Thank you.
-There.
Thanks again for coming.
I cannot tell you how happy I am
to have some help.
Christmas is so busy.
Yeah. No, of course,
I've actually always wanted
to go to this event, but
the tickets are so expensive.
Wow. Your home is so lovely.
Thank you.
Oh, Lou's waiting for you
upstairs.
Johnny, you can head on up.
Oh. Great, thanks.
-See you in a bit.
-Bye.
You two are so cute.
-Oh.
-Don't you just love love?
I do. Yeah.
So do you want to tell me
where you are in planning?
Oh, yeah.
This way.
[curious music]
Come in.
-Hey.
-Johnny boy.
Have a seat.
I'm sorry
we didn't get into the meat
of the business deal
the other day, you know?
But, that girlfriend of yours.
What a charmer.
You know,
I don't think I'll ever be able
to order scallops again
without thinking of her.
You and me both.
I'll call the caterers later
and confirm the numbers.
Oh, thanks. And don't forget to
include the security team.
-Security team?
-For the necklace.
They've got four
guards on it 24/7.
It's being stored
in a high security
vault near the museum right now.
They won't let anyone see it
until the ball.
Seems like it's in demand.
Oh, it is.
Lucky for me,
Lou can be very persuasive.
Save me from begging. [laughs]
Now, you have some clients
interested in
investing in my startup, right?
Yes I do. And I cannot wait
to dive into it.
But, do you mind if
I use the restroom first?
Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Go ahead.
-Thanks, man.
-Okay.
Have you seen it?
No, but I'm dying to.
[dramatic music]
Tell me again why
it only comes out once a year.
Oh, well, as the story goes,
it was given to a
German princess by her secret
American lover for Christmas.
She only wore it once,
on Christmas Eve, for her father
[Patty speaking faintly]
[Lou] What are you doing?
Hey, sorry, I, I got lost.
Your house is enormous.
Yeah, the powder room's
by the front door.
Right. Of course.
Did you want one?
Oh, no.
No, no, I was just browsing.
It's, quite the selection.
Yeah.
Go ahead then.
You can have one.
Take whichever one you want.
You don't want that.
This is the one.
Whitney's gonna love it.
Thanks.
Yeah, and if you have
any questions at all, just call.
-I'm here.
-Okay. Thank you. Patty.
-Bye.
-I'll call you.
-So, did you find anything?
-No. Nothing.
We're running out of time.
What does that mean?
I'm gonna have to catch him
stealing at the ball.
I got to talk to the museum
director.
Okay.
Hello.
You must be Agent Dawson.
I am, and this is,
-Whitney.
-Hello.
Did Agent Michaels
bring you up to speed?
He did. Yes.
Though I must admit,
I find it hard to believe
that a criminal
would try to steal a necklace.
The Heart of Christmas, no less.
In a room filled with people.
This man is a professional.
He's done it before,
and he could do it again.
So we have to put safety
measures in place to stop him.
Yes, but
this is a high end event,
so we can't have men in their
SWAT gear roaming about.
You know, it just wouldn't be
helpful for the
festive atmosphere.
I understand that, but
our agents will be undercover,
so we will blend in.
No one will be the wiser.
No, I don't know.
If word gets out,
turnout could be low.
And this is the biggest
fundraiser of the year.
[Josh] Word will not get out.
Because this is a covert
operation.
And while your turnout
is important
it cannot be our priority.
Forgive me,
but the money we raise here
enables thousands of children
to immerse themselves
in the arts
that wouldn't
otherwise be able to afford it.
Now, you may not think that's
very important,
but I take my duty seriously.
Well, I take my duty to public
safety seriously.
Henry, if I may, I think we all
want the same things here.
Art should be in a place
like this for everyone
to enjoy, right?
Not floating around
on the black market
for only wealthy people to see.
So if you wouldn't mind
giving us a little tour,
we promise we will make sure
that the necklace
stays in the right hands
and that everyone stays safe.
All right, after you.
Thank you.
I would love to see
some of your favourite pieces.
[Henry] Oh, yes.
This is one of the grand salons
decorated
for whatever season we're in.
Okay, so the necklace
will go right here.
Install security cameras
here and here and over
all the entrances
and the fire escapes.
Why haven't
I received this floor plan yet?
Oh, I will make sure to get you
a copy when we're done here.
-Can I see that for a sec?
-Yeah. For sure.
Thanks.
This.
This is called
"The Dahlia Dance."
Legend has it
that the artist was struck
by lightning
and while unconscious, had
a vision of a beautiful woman
surrounded by red dahlias.
When he woke,
he became obsessed with
finding her, but never could.
But then sometime later,
he ran into a woman
selling red dahlias.
-And--
-It was her.
Indeed.
He gifted this to her
their first Christmas together.
What a beautiful story.
Yes, that is why I curated
the piece back in 1998.
But a few years ago we actually
discovered it was a fake.
But where is the real one?
Buried in a safe outside
Budapest.
It is now worth
more than a Jackson Pollock,
but it remains a hidden gem
unless you know to look for it.
Oh, would you excuse me?
Of course.
What if we created a fake?
What do you mean?
A duplicate necklace with a
little tracker thing in it.
And we could let it get stolen.
And then follow it.
Whitney, that is actually
a really good idea.
We'd have to switch it out
with the real necklace
before it goes on display.
And figure out
where they're storing it.
Oh, it's in a vault
near the museum.
Excuse me?
Yeah. But, 24/7 guards.
According to Patty.
Why didn't you tell me
this sooner?
Well, it never came up.
Okay.
You know,
that doesn't make sense, though.
What makes sense?
We're gonna need
to swap it at the vault.
But if they can't even
get into the vault, how will we?
You leave that to me.
Right now,
we just need to find a jeweler.
I might have one.
Rachel says
she's a bit of a character, but
she made her engagement
ring, and it's stunning.
Okay.
What is going on here?
Jewelry is,
kind of a side hustle.
Her real business is...
-[ambient holiday music]
-Oh, boy.
[Whitney gasps]
Oh, my goodness.
He kind of looks like you.
It's a little more Pollyanna
than my childhood.
What do you mean?
Well, not a lot of
gift exchanges in foster care.
Hello, hello. Merry Christmas.
Would you care
for some peppermint bark?
-Wow.
-I know it's the glasses, right?
I mean, it's the whole Mrs.
Claus package. Really.
Well. What can I help you with?
Twinkle lights, inflatable
lawn decor?
We've got it all.
We're
actually here about jewelry.
Oh, are you two
shopping for a ring?
[both] No.
We're looking for something
a little more custom.
Follow me.
[curious music]
Well, so,
what are we looking at?
Reshaping.
Resetting. Melting gold.
Swapping gemstones.
We need a necklace
that looks like this.
Whoa. That's quite the piece.
I know, it's a family heirloom.
[Josh clears throat]
That we lost
and are trying to replace.
You think you can recreate it?
All right. These are lab
cultured gemstones,
but once I'm done with it,
you will not be able to
tell the difference.
We also
need to add this.
Do you think you can do it?
Piece of cake.
Piece of Christmas cake.
[both laughing]
I will email you
a photo of the necklace.
All right. Excellent.
Give me a couple hours.
-Thank you.
-See you later.
I got to follow up with Kiera
about the storage facility.
You good here for a minute?
-Oh, yeah.
-Okay.
[Rachel] Whitney?
What are you doing here?
Just buying stuff.
What? What are you doing here?
Picking up our wedding bands.
Why haven't
you been answering my calls?
I've been very busy.
What happened with you and Mark?
Why'd you ghost him?
Look, I'm so sorry, I...
I got cold feet, and I bailed,
and I should have texted
you, but, you know what?
We should go out for New Year's.
-Yeah.
-We can go.
Hi.
Hi.
Who's this?
-Johnny.
-Yeah.
Whitney's boyfriend.
Boyfriend?
What's he talking about?
Yeah, he's my boyfriend.
I was going to tell you, but I
wanted to tell my parents first.
And, I'm
going to call them today,
but Rachel was just leaving, so.
-Oh.
-I was?
Oh, I was, yes.
Nice seeing you. And,
nice meeting you. Boyfriend.
Nice to meet you.
[item jingles]
Should I be worried?
Boyfriend?
What did you want me to say?
Anything else.
Literally anything.
[bright music]
All righty then.
I think that does it.
Wow. Well done.
Why thank you.
There you go sir.
You might be hearing from me
again.
Oh, well you know
where to find me here.
-Here, or The North Pole.
-[all laughing]
Thank you.
That's a nice couple.
[bright music]
Wow. Look at you.
Look at all this.
Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.
It just needed a festive boost.
Hope you're taking that
with you.
What? No.
This is an early Christmas
present from your fake
-girlfriend.
-[chuckles]
I don't really do presents.
From anybody?
-Wow.
-Look, don't look so sad.
Okay?
Christmas is just another day
for me.
Anyway. Kiera, sent over the
schematics for the vault.
There's only one short
term holding area
in the whole building.
The necklace has to be here.
Now, there's only two ways
in and out.
There's a front door
which is two feet of solid steel
and guarded 24/7.
-And the other way?
-The ceiling.
I'll enter
through the vent shaft.
Replace the real necklace
with the replica,
and then I'll climb out.
Did you call in the diversion?
Oh, yes.
The Christmas cookies
will be delivered in one hour.
Excellent.
What happens if you need backup?
I won't need back up.
I'll be in and out.
Now you tell me what happens
if someone sees you.
Right. I stage an epic family
fight over the phone.
Mom is having
a Christmas meltdown.
Too many tasks
in too little time.
Just don't yell so loud
they actually call the police.
Do we get walkie talkies?
No. You ready?
Yeah.
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun
it is to ride
You want to turn
that down a bit?
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Kind of calms
the nerves, you know?
Don't be nervous.
Your part's done.
This is up to me.
You're going to be all right.
Right?
Worried about me?
So what if I am?
Don't be. This is what I do.
So what's your trick?
Breathing?
Meditation? Hypnotism?
No trick.
It's all I've ever known.
All right.
I'll see you soon.
[door shuts]
[dramatic music]
Here we go.
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Please don't
let us get caught
I'd like to live another day
And I love Christmas
a lot, hey
[phone rings]
-[quirky music]
-[phone rings]
[phone rings]
Hi, Mom.
This isn't really a good time.
Why? What do you mean?
Where are you?
Just, just out for a drive.
[Cheryl] At night,
in the winter?
Yeah, which is
why I shouldn't talk,
you know, safety in the car.
-Okay, bye.
-Oh, no, wait a minute.
I just have to ask a question.
I ran into Rachel.
What is this about?
You having a boyfriend?
Oh, yeah. I'll explain later.
Why didn't you tell us?
I was going to.
-I swear.
-[Cheryl] When?
Soon.
You know, just
trying to find the right time.
[Cheryl] Why don't you bring him
to game night on Christmas Eve?
We'd love to meet him.
Yeah. Shoot.
You know,
something came up, and,
I'm gonna have to reschedule.
What do you mean something came
up? It's a family tradition.
I know, I know.
Which is why
we should do it
tomorrow on the 23rd.
Oh. Okay. All right.
-[alarm blares]
-[Cheryl] What was that?
Oh, nothing. Nothing.
Okay. Love you. Bye.
[alarm blares]
It's fine.
You've got this.
[door clicks]
-[alarm continues blaring]
-[dramatic music]
[whispers] Josh?
[whispers] Josh?
[door thuds]
[Josh] Whitney! Grab on.
[Josh] You were supposed
to stay in the car.
I heard an alarm.
-I was worried.
-Who do you think set it off?
To get them away
from their posts.
Sorry for trying to save
your life.
I had it under control.
Sure.
"Come work with the FBI.
Plan a party. It'll be fine."
-What are you saying?
-You haven't seen "Die Hard?"
No.
[quirky music]
Jeez. Best Christmas
movie ever.
Shhh. Right here.
There's no tie off.
What's that?
If I go down, do you think you
can pull me back up?
-No.
-Then you got to do it.
[quirky music]
You're serious?
I'll give you the fake.
Lower you down.
You swap out the necklace
and I'll lift you back up.
Easy peasy.
Okay? You got this.
Okay.
-Okay, I got this.
-Okay.
Just remember, no matter
what you do,
do not let go of the rope.
The cookies are arriving in
three, two, one.
Hey, guys, check it out.
Special delivery.
[dramatic music]
[alarm blares]
[man] I'll check
the electrical box.
-You guys stay here.
-[alarm blares]
We should lock everything down
just to be safe.
[whispers] Forget it.
We gotta go.
-[alarm blares]
-[Whitney speaks indistinctly]
[whispers] Leave it!
[alarm continunes blaring]
Once they lock the place down,
there would
have been no getting out.
-You okay?
-Yeah.
Why did
you set off another alarm?
-I didn't.
-Oh, oh.
I was right there.
I could have gotten.
I know,
but something didn't feel right.
I did not want to take that
chance.
And we're going to have to wait
till the gala
to swap the necklace
before Lou can steal it.
I'm gonna have to call Kiera
to set up a meeting tomorrow.
Speaking of tomorrow,
we have to go to game night
with my parents.
Say what?
They want to meet
my new boyfriend.
[quirky holiday music]
Santa and Mrs. Claus
have landed. No tail.
-You're good to go.
-Copy that.
Thank you.
Your parents have arrived.
It's go time.
Is this really necessary?
Oh, yes.
This is mandatory.
Everything is great.
We just need to get
through the next two hours.
Be yourself.
And everything will be fine.
Just, you know, maybe lose,
like, 20 percent of the scowl.
I'm not scowling.
You are radiating tension.
Look, I get it. You're mad.
You did not sign up
to meet my family.
No, no, it's.
It's not that. I just.
I've never.
You've never met
a girlfriend's family before?
Oh, okay.
Wow.
That's okay.
When in doubt, just ask them
questions about them
or any home security system.
-They love that.
-[door knocking]
-Hi, Honey.
-Hi.
Oh, it looks so gorgeous
in here.
And there he is.
The enigma himself.
Yeah. Mom, this is Johnny.
Johnny, this is my mom, Cheryl.
And my dad, Jim.
-Nice to meet you.
-Likewise. Likewise.
So, how did you meet?
Dad, can we have some snacks
before we start the
Spanish Inquisition.
[quirky music]
The game is Christmas charades.
Now, everything in
this hat is holiday themed,
so you have to be very specific.
Got it.
Johnny, what do you say
you and I team up?
No. That's okay.
We'll stick together.
[Josh] No. It's okay.
I'd love to.
[Whitney] Really?
-Yeah.
Okay. Ladies first.
Do you need to take that?
It's just Patty.
She's wondering if--
[Josh clears throat]
If I'm ready for the book
fair in January.
I'm ready. [chuckles]
Okay.
One minute on the clock and go.
Okay.
Chicken. Chicken dance.
No, that's not Christmas.
Partridge in a pear tree? No.
Oh! Christmas turkey.
Turkey. Turkey. Turkey.
-Christmas dinner?
-Yes. Ha! Ha!
That was Oscar worthy.
-I'd like to see you do better.
-So would I.
-All right.
-[Cheryl] Okay, and, go!
[quirky music]
Pillow.
Nose. Smells like a pillow.
Christmas pillow decor?
Basketball?
[Jim speaks indistinctly]
Right.
Dog? No. Okay. Right.
Okay. Follow your nose.
[Jim mumbling]
All right. Oh, horse! Horse.
Dad, you're just saying
random words.
Don't you help. Go on.
Christmas sleigh ride? No.
Oh! Pig!
Pig! Dog! Sleigh!
-No?
-Oh, Jim, you're being cruel.
You know, don't you?
Yes. Fine. It's Rudolph.
Welcome to charades.
[all laughing]
You are terrible.
You were great.
Mom. You're up.
Okay.
Okay.
[gentle music]
Cracking?
[Whitney speaks indistinctly]
[gentle music continues]
-So, Honey.
-Mom?
He's awfully cute.
I can tell that
he really likes you.
What I don't understand
is what took you
so long to tell us?
You know how
you and Dad like to vet
the people that I'm dating?
I just wanted the chance
to get to know
him without the pressure.
Maybe make my own mistakes
for once?
Is it a mistake?
No.
I don't think it is.
Sorry about earlier.
That's fine.
I do get a little protective.
You should.
You know,
when she was seven years old,
she found a stray
cat in our garage
and it had six kittens.
Cheryl and I
are allergic to cats, so
we couldn't
have them around, and,
Whitney was inconsolable.
She gets attached
very quickly
and very deeply.
So, do me a favor.
If you're not into it for real,
just do the right thing.
Just walk away.
Oh, God. Trust me.
Last thing I want
is for anyone to get hurt.
Especially her.
Another round?
Yeah. Thanks.
All right.
Oh, and, Jim.
She's lucky to have you guys.
Thank you.
[Whitney speaking indistinctly]
Well, it was great to meet you,
Johnny.
The pleasure was mine.
-Drive safe.
-We will, of course.
She hasn't gone over 50
miles an hour in over two years.
[Cheryl laughs]
Thank you for changing
your plans and coming tonight.
We didn't really have
much of a choice, did we?
Tell me,
what are you doing tomorrow?
A party.
A party?
Where?
It's, a silent auction
thing at the museum.
You mean the Mistletoe Ball?
-Yeah.
-Since when?
Since I invited her.
It's kind of a work thing.
Tell me what it is
you do again, Johnny?
-Finance.
-Oh, right.
Okay!
We'll see you on Christmas.
Okay. Yeah. Bye.
-Okay. Goodbye. All right.
-Love you.
-Love you.
-[Jim] Bye.
-[both] Bye.
-Bye. I'll call you.
-Bye bye.
-[Jim] Yeah.
-[Whitney] Yep.
[door shuts]
[Whitney sighs]
I think that was great.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-That was weird.
-Yeah.
Texts. Rescheduling.
The ball.
The chemistry seems genuine.
Maybe. There's something
she's not telling us.
How's it going in there?
[Whitney] I'm almost ready.
Good, because I want to go
over the plan one more--
[soft music]
I think it fits.
Yeah.
Should we go over it again?
Yeah.
Go for it.
Okay.
Suspect is Lou Bateman,
believed to be responsible
for the theft of six
stolen priceless artifacts
from around the world.
His next target
is the Heart of Christmas,
otherwise known as the Mona
Lisa of jewelry,
and only comes out
once a year, so.
So it's our last shot.
But no pressure, right?
After we arrive at the museum,
we will wait for Patty's
introductory remarks.
And then I will create
a diversion.
A gentle nudge
at the champagne tower and?
Kaboom.
I cut
the power and swap the necklace.
And hopefully no one
is the wiser.
Now, we don't know who
Lou is working with
or when he's
going to make his move,
so we have to keep an eye out
for his accomplices,
but do not follow them yourself.
You leave that to me.
You having second thoughts?
-No.
-It's okay if you are.
Because we can always say
you got sick.
You don't have to come.
You still don't think
I can do this?
I didn't say that.
No, it's,
it's fair.
In my life,
anything like this,
I probably would have been
absolutely terrified.
But for the first time ever,
I feel like I'm
a part of something
important.
Like, I can help people.
And I want to see that through.
Plus,
Patty will be
really mad if we don't show up.
That's true.
And we can't have that. So,
unless you want to be late.
Shall we?
[dramatic music]
Agent Dawson,
we are in position,
and we are standing by.
Copy that.
Here we go.
[dramatic music continues]
There it is.
[Lou] There he is.
Johnny boy!
-[Lou] Hey.
-[Patty] Oh, Whitney!
It looks incredible in here.
-And so do you.
-Thank you.
This is Henry,
the museum director.
These are our new friends,
Whitney and Johnny.
It's nice to meet you.
Yes, it's nice to meet you.
Henry has done such a brilliant
job curating the museum.
Have you seen the Dahlia Dance?
It is my favorite piece
in the whole museum.
I mean, aside from the necklace.
[laughs]
[announcer] Patty Bateman,
to the stage.
Honey, I think that's your cue.
Have fun, you two.
I better go for moral support.
I'll catch up with you.
All right?
Sounds good.
-Ready?
-Ready.
[dramatic music]
[Patty] Good evening, everyone,
and welcome to the 10th annual
Mistletoe Ball.
In honour of the museum's
Art for Kids program.
On behalf of Henry Kopelman and
our lovely board of directors,
we would like to thank you all
for coming.
Your generosity
during this holiday
season is deeply appreciated,
and we do have a number of fun
things to do tonight. But first,
we want to remind you that
we do indeed have a dance floor.
So here to kick it off with
a tango is a former
professional dancer
and my new bestie, Whitney.
Take it away,
Whitney and Johnny!
What's happening here?
[classical ballroom music]
Are you going to dance?
Okay.
I guess there's no
good way to get out of this now.
I don't think so.
And the necklace?
We'll keep eyes on it.
Have you ever danced the tango
before?
Nope.
Follow my lead.
Backwards. Forward.
Down.
Twirl me.
[classical ballroom
music continues]
[gentle music]
[Jim] Hello, Whitney.
Dad?
[quirky music]
What are you doing here?
Well, after last night,
your mother and I
looked up the ball and decided
we had to come.
And this was such a good cause.
We get to see you again.
Boy am I glad we got those
last minute tickets.
That dance was worth
the price of admission.
Well,
I guess all those dance classes
you took me to as a kid
finally paid off.
Where's Mom?
Oh. She's gone to freshen up.
So, John--
What's happened?
-I don't know.
-[Kiera] Dawson, what happened?
-Was that you?
-It's not us.
What's going on?
Find Mom. Stay together.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
We missed it.
-The necklace is gone.
-[Kiera] Copy.
[Kiera] Do you
have a description?
No. Not yet.
Look.
Hey!
[dramatic music]
FBI, stop!
Male, he's got a briefcase.
He's heading for the roof.
Hey!
[body thuds]
You're under arrest. You have
the right to remain silent.
Anything you say will be held
against you.
Josh, look.
It's empty.
It was a decoy.
For what?
[tires screeching]
Is that Henry?
Eagle is on the move. Black SUV.
We have a new suspect.
His name is Henry Kopelman.
He's the museum director.
Mom? Dad?
They have my parents.
[dramatic music]
We now have two hostages.
Repeat. Two hostages.
They're in a second vehicle.
They're heading westbound
towards Main Street.
Wait!
What are you doing?
Going over. I'm
going to cut them off.
I'm coming with you.
No, it's too dangerous.
These are my parents.
[dramatic music continues]
[tires screeching]
Hold on tight.
Jump first. Think later.
[dramatic music]
You okay?
Wait!
[tires screeching]
FBI! Get out of the vehicle!
Hi, Honey.
FBI. Put your
hands where I can...
See them.
How did you do that?
Picked up a few things over the
years, your mother and I.
From the home
security installation business?
Okay. Mom, what is going on?
Before we, started the home
security business--
You were in the bureau?
Spent a few years in the art
fraud department
in the late 80s.
Excuse me?
Hostages are safe.
I repeat, hostages are safe.
So, we met as young recruits.
We worked together
for seven years.
Found out your mother was
pregnant, so--
We both decided
to retire immediately.
What about your home
security company?
We opened it
two months before you were born.
That's all real.
Agent Dawson.
You have eyes on Lou Bateman?
He's already in custody,
but he says
he has nothing to do with it.
Of course he did.
-What about Henry?
-Backup's in pursuit.
We got him on GPS.
Wait. What?
Well, thanks to the tracking
device you installed.
What are you talking about?
We never swapped necklaces.
It's gone.
What? Then who did?
We did it.
Well, why?
Postponing game night?
Not telling us
about your new boyfriend?
Last night,
you just weren't yourself.
Nothing added up.
So we called an old friend
in the bureau,
asked him
to look into Johnny here.
And when we discovered
agent Josh Dawson--
We got tickets to the ball
to make sure you're okay.
And we saw you dancing
and looking at your purse
like a predator
locked on its prey.
So while you were distracted,
we took a peek, saw the necklace
and realized
what was about to happen.
The old bait and switch.
We've done at a time
or two ourselves.
So I took the necklace.
Cut the power.
And during the chaos
that ensued,
I swapped it for you.
But as I was walking away,
I saw someone take it.
We followed. But then.
But anyway, you know the rest.
I still don't understand.
Did you hire Henry?
Oh, he's probably getting
a cut of the sale, Honey.
Yeah.
I can't believe this.
I know it's a lot to take in.
No, what I can't believe
is you guys.
You've been lying to me
for, like, forever.
Honey,
it was for your own safety.
Now you, sir.
I do not know how you got
her mixed up in this.
Whoa! No.
He had nothing to do with this.
In fact, he tried to talk me
out of it multiple times.
-Then why--
-Because I wanted to.
Because my whole life,
I've been trying to be this
perfect daughter for you two.
Being safe, never,
never taking any risks.
It's stifling.
And meanwhile,
you two are like SWAT people.
I need space.
[Jim] Whitney, please.
I'll talk to her.
We're going to have to get
your statements on record.
Can you take them to
headquarters, please?
Of course.
[footsteps clomping]
Whitney, wait.
-You okay?
-No.
Because I can't
help but feel like
everyone in my life
thinks I'm incompetent.
Nobody thinks that.
Yes, they do.
And you, worst of all.
How many times did you say
to your boss, "She can't do it?"
I didn't know you then.
And yet, just two hours ago,
you were trying to convince me
-out of all of this.
-Because I didn't
want you to get hurt.
Not because I thought
you couldn't handle it.
I wanted to protect you.
Like my parents were.
You can't be mad at them
for wanting to keep you safe.
By lying to me?
By not
trusting me.
By crashing
the most exciting thing
in my life.
Whitney, they're your family.
Don't shut them out.
What do you know about family?
[gentle music]
Yeah.
Okay, I'll be right there.
I got to go.
Henry's in custody.
Okay.
I'll have someone
drive you home.
[gentle music continues]
[gentle music]
It's gone.
[Josh] Henry. Henry. Henry.
It's quite the mess
you got yourself into.
Me? Oh, please.
There was nothing subtle
about what you guys did tonight.
You promised no drama.
Says a man who tried to steal
a $10 million necklace.
[glass knocking]
Sir, I just got off the phone
with the museum.
The necklace is not
the only thing missing.
-What?
-Apparently,
a painting was also taken.
It must have happened
after the crowd was evacuated.
Which painting?
It's the one with the woman
and the red flowers.
The Dahlia Dance.
Oh, she is bold.
Gotta give her that.
Wait.
What do you mean, "she?"
Whitney.
-What are you doing here?
-I just wanted to make sure
you're okay
after all the craziness.
May I come in?
Of course.
[Whitney] I didn't know you were
traveling for Christmas.
Last minute trip to Aruba.
Need a break from all this cold.
[faint thud]
What was that?
What was what?
I didn't hear anything.
You know, I've been thinking
about the necklace
and all the artifacts
that went missing.
Bronze Aphrodite,
King Tut's scrolls.
The Dahlia Dance.
You know what
they all have in common?
Love.
You know who loves love?
-Whitney.
-Look, I get it.
Who doesn't love
a romantic story?
I know I do.
I've read all of them.
Leave now
and I will forget you came here.
I can help you, Patty, but
you have to tell me the truth.
I'm afraid
it's too late for that now.
[dramatic music]
-[door thuds]
-FBI. You're under arrest.
I recorded that.
-If that helps.
-Oh. That's great.
Thank you, Whitney.
[uplifting music]
[soft music]
[door knocking]
Merry Christmas, Kiddo.
Can we come in?
[lock clunks]
Listen. About yesterday.
You had every right to be mad.
As a parent, your number one
job is to keep your kids safe.
And despite feeling like we made
the right choice at the time,
we know we took it too far.
We actually thought
you liked your life.
Liked your job.
I didn't realize how much
pressure we're putting on you.
If I'd known
you were so unhappy,
I would have told you sooner.
I am so, so sorry, Honey.
Those kittens you saved that one
Christmas when you were a kid.
I don't know
if you remember this, but,
when you found
them in the garage
those kittens
were up in the rafters.
You had to
climb up there to rescue them.
And that's
how your mother and I found you.
Seven years old.
Hanging by one arm.
Fearless.
You were always
capable, Whitney.
We were just too afraid
to let you go.
[gentle music]
-I'm sorry.
-I know, Dad.
[doorbell rings]
Sorry.
-I should--
-Go.
Right? Yeah. Okay.
Yeah.
Go, go, go, go.
Hi.
Hi.
Never got a chance to thank you.
Things got a little crazy
last night.
-You don't have to.
-Yeah, I do.
Patty would have gotten away
if you hadn't slowed her down.
About what I said at the museum.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
No it's not.
I was upset,
and I took it out on you.
And you didn't deserve that.
Here.
What's this for?
You couldn't
let another Christmas go
by without
someone getting you a present.
[gentle music]
I know this
wasn't your experience
growing up, but
maybe going forward,
it could be?
-Do you mind?
-Oh.
I got a little something
for you, too.
-It's the replica.
-Oh.
And I did remove
the tracker.
Little reminder of everything
that you did this week.
And I hope that
when you look at it,
you see what I see.
An elementary school librarian?
No.
The bravest person
I've ever met.
Anyway, it's, It's Christmas.
I'm sure you want to spend time
with your family, so I'll,
I'll leave you to it.
Wait.
What are you doing tonight?
You know me.
It's just another day.
You could stay.
You are supposed to be
my boyfriend
after all.
Yeah.
About that.
Maybe
we could ditch the fake part.
Sure you don't want to
give MarkLovesCats1922
another shot?
I have never been more
sure of anything in my life.
[gentle music]
-Mom.
-Sorry, sorry. Sorry.
Hey, Josh,
you want to come in?
Dad. It's my apartment.
Of course he's coming in.
We need to work on boundaries.
[Whitney] I was thinking I
should join the FBI.
[all] What?
[dramatic holiday music]
[dramatic holiday music]