The Christmas Tapes (2022) Movie Script

(film reel clicking)
(gentle music)
This is insane.
[Lisa] Do you love it?
I love it.
[Eli] What.
[Bill] We thought you'd love it, Rachel.
[Lisa] Yep.
[Bill] You're gonna rock that camera.
(hands clapping)
When you are a world famous filmmaker,
you're gonna look back on this day
and you are gonna remember
when your awesome parents gave you that.
We love you.
[Rachel] Thank you.
Is this 'cause I'm going
to community college?
(all laughing)
[Lisa] Well go ahead, open yours then.
We only get to pick one?
[Lisa] Yes.
- Yeah.
- One?
[Bill] He's gonna love it.
It's a scarf.
Yes.
Yes.
I love it, I actually do love it, I do.
[Lisa] Put it on, put it on.
[Bill] Put it on, put it on.
[Lisa] Cute.
- Woo.
- Yes, yes.
[Bill] He's working it.
(all laughing)
[Eli] Don't ever say that, ever again.
He is working it.
(all laughing)
Hey, what do you think, is it movie time?
[Rachel] Ooh.
Movie time.
[Both] Movie time,
movie time, movie time.
Movie time, movie time, movie time.
Okay, which one?
All right,
all right, that one with the blonde kid,
where he fucks up the thieves.
Oh my God, "Home Alone."
- "Home Alone."
- I am not
watching that one again.
Look at you with that
camera, you're a natural.
[Rachel] You're a natural, Mom.
Look at that.
She's gorgeous.
[Rachel] All right, that's quite enough.
[Lisa] Okay, we'll save that for later.
Aw.
(door bell ringing)
What?
Are you expecting somebody?
No, you?
I'll show 'em my scarf.
[Lisa] Yes, show 'em your scarf.
[Bill] You gotta work it.
Don't say that.
- Hey.
- Hi.
I'm so sorry to interrupt you.
My car broke down and my phone's dead.
Oh.
Dynamic duo on Christmas Eve.
Yeah.
I just need to make a quick call,
if I could use your phone or something.
I can wait, just chill out here.
Yeah.
Dad?
[Bill] Yeah.
[Geoff] Oh, hey, I'm Geoff.
Oh, hey, Merry Christmas.
There's Santa when you need him.
Hey, my car broke down
and my phone's dead,
so I'm just stuck.
If I could make a quick call,
I can wait out here if that's cool.
Oh, no, no, no, no, come on in.
Are you sure?
Of course, it's Christmas.
Man, you really are Santa.
(Bill laughing)
Of course.
Thank you so much for this.
I really.
Oh, look at this,
opening gifts early, huh?
Yeah.
Soon to be a new filmmaker.
I guarantee I see Oscars in your future.
But if you want me in your film,
I'm gonna have to sign a release.
Just kidding.
How are you superstar?
Good.
God, this is absolutely,
it's like I walked into a Christmas card.
Wow.
[Bill] Did you want to use our phone?
That would be great.
You know, I normally have not
been stranded in 20 years.
Julius has always, always done it for me.
Julius, who's Julius?
My VW Bug.
Oh.
But I will, yeah.
Is there a place I can talk in silent?
The elves and Santa don't love to hear
too much background noise.
They're super busy tonight.
Yeah, make a right at the cup case.
All right, thank you.
Appreciate it.
[Bill] Sure.
[Rachel] I don't think
that's a good idea.
(people speaking indistinctly)
Rach, stop filming him.
Why are you filming him?
[Rachel] It's fine.
Well, at least you like your gift.
(all laughing)
Oh my God.
[Rachel] Look alive.
All right guys, I'm so
sorry for the inconvenience.
I finally got a hold of 'em.
It's gonna be 90 minutes.
Santa's busy, lots of DUI.
So, thank you for taking me in,
making my Christmas even more memorable.
But I will leave you guys
alone and head out to my car.
[Eli] Oh, no, no, no, you can stay.
[Geoff] Really?
Yeah, it's cold outside.
[Geoff] Wow, isn't he sweet?
[Eli] I'm the best.
Thank you so much.
Never felt more welcome.
(all laughing)
Oh man, I know you guys
seem like the perfect family
and have a lot of great
Christmas traditions
and seem very happy.
I personally haven't had
much luck on Christmas,
especially when it comes to gifts.
I'd always ask my parents for,
you know, at the time, elaborate things,
Transformers, Magic Mike, you
know, little fun electronics.
But every Christmas was a disappointment.
I would get like, make
your own ship in a bottle
or build your own Chevy Bell Air.
And I'd have to work for it.
I wanted to just have fun, I was a kid.
And I wanted to just collapse
on the carpet and just cry.
But I would make that
ship in a bottle, so.
What about you guys?
What is your go-to, what's
your Christmas tradition?
Well, you're in it basically,
like, this is what we do Christmas Eve.
They each open a gift and you know,
our baby boy happened to open a scarf,
which was unfortunate.
- Yeah.
But he has a lot of good
presents under that tree.
Okay, so you're not gonna
collapse and cry this year.
[Lisa] No.
[Eli] We'll see.
And then of course we
got the future filmmaker,
making the next great Christmas movie.
I can just feel it in my bones.
She's our little filmmaker.
Speaking of we, every
Christmas we do watch a movie.
[Geoff] Oh, okay.
Which one?
You know you got the classics.
You got, what is, this family,
what's the the Christmas film?
Rach, tell him which one you like.
[Rachel] I like, "Home Alone."
What happens in that one?
(all laughing)
Basically just kind of
the title, you know.
Okay.
Well maybe someone's car breaks down
and it's happy ever after, right.
That's maybe your next film.
(Rachel laughing)
[Rachel] So what's in the box?
It's not midnight yet,
so gotta wait to unwrap it.
But it's gonna be incredible.
[Rachel] I'm gonna go to
the bathroom real quick.
Absolutely, take your time.
You're excused.
Thanks.
Mom and dad,
they let in a super weird guy
'cause I guess stranger danger
was just like a thing in the '80s.
Doesn't matter anymore.
(laughing)
Super weird guy.
I'm gonna keep recording
'cause this is killer
content for you guys.
I'm an artist, so.
Yeah.
Oh, courtesy, courtesy flush.
(toilet flushing)
[Geoff] Stay calm, stay calm.
- Mom, stay calm.
- You're in good hands.
[Eli] Mom, stay calm.
Rachel don't, no.
[Rachel] Hey, what doing?
[Geoff] Hey, stop,
stop, what's your name?
Hey camera off.
[Rachel] What are you doing?
What's your name?
What's your name?
[Rachel] Rachel.
Rachel, okay.
Get over here, camera over here.
[Rachel] Mom?
- It's okay baby, it's okay.
- Stay the fuck back.
I wanna make a feature, not a short film.
Here.
- It's okay.
[Geoff] All right, camera on me.
Let me explain what's
happening, all right.
[Rachel] Mom, are you okay?
Rachel, camera on me, get over here.
Listen, it's okay.
- What are you doing?
There's never been a great film
without family tension.
Now I want you to take that,
I want you to tie them up
'cause he won't stop crying.
- The fuck are you doing?
- Dad.
Sit down.
Okay now, listen, camera.
Hey, move the camera over here.
- Mom.
- Get over here.
Listen, I want you to tie them
up and shut them up, okay?
So gimme the camera and
you're gonna take that
and hurry up, let's go,
we don't have all day,
we got 90 minutes.
What the fuck
is wrong with you.
- What is your problem?
[Geoff] It's the
perfect length for a film.
We didn't do anything to you.
Get in character.
Stay focused, settle in.
What?
[Geoff] Now talk about a classic.
- Fucking psycho.
- You're gonna be
part of a classic.
Okay guys, cast photo, here we go.
You are hanging out with
The Christmas Manual
and we are gonna make something original.
All right, smile, look happy, come on.
It's Christmas, we're doing it.
- Please stop.
- We're living a life.
[Rachel] What are you doing?
What is this for?
- Listen Rachel,
what did you say earlier?
You wanna be a filmmaker, right.
Well the number one thing with filmmakers
is you gotta make something original.
And this guy shows you the classics.
The classics don't help you
'cause we're living in the past.
So we're gonna do
something special tonight.
We're gonna make you a filmmaker.
You asked what was in my box earlier.
[Rachel] I don't wanna
know what's in the box.
Well, yeah you do
'cause you asked about it.
So I'm gonna show you.
"Travel Buggies" one of the
greatest films ever made
that nobody watches, nobody talks about.
There's action, there's
passion, there's Christmas.
He doesn't show you any good
films 'cause he's not original.
So you're gonna take this
and you're gonna put it in
and we're gonna get started all right.
Rachel.
- No.
- Do what he says.
- Rachel.
- Rachel, do what he says.
[Geoff] Do as I say.
Be quiet, I'm the director here.
(car engine revving)
You're filming already?
[Jess] Yeah.
Gotta get lots of footage
and then make a really great video.
I love the enthusiasm,
but I'm a little bit bummed,
now we're not gonna be going to Europe.
I'm not gonna lie.
I was really looking forward
to that, never been to Europe.
[Jess] Yeah, I know.
To see, you know,
exploring all the Christmas
folklore and stuff over there.
That was gonna be cool.
I mean, are are you sure about the plan?
Do you feel like we're,
'cause it feels like we're kind of
putting it together a last minute.
- Yes.
- You know,
it's gonna be snowing.
[Jess] Yeah, but that's
gonna be beautiful.
And it's fine, we're improvising.
We're gonna learn as we go
and it's gonna work out.
Yeah, but we're, you know, we're camping
and you know, neither of
us are exactly campers.
[Jess] No, but.
You know, we're gonna learn how
and everyone's gonna love
to learn along with us.
Yeah, I get that, I mean,
everyone loves watching idiots
fumble around the woods.
I guess that's true.
- No,
I don't think we're idiots.
Yeah, well, we're not
exactly campers either,
but maybe we'll work it out.
(car engine revving)
Well, okay.
Dave has been in the bathroom
for a very long time.
I'm sort of wondering if
he might be stuck in there.
So let's just see what's
going on over there.
(dog barking)
No idea.
No clue.
Absolutely no idea.
The snow is gonna be melted
by the time we get there.
Jesus, he takes the longest fucking shits,
I can't believe it.
(laughing)
(window banging)
Jesus Christ.
Did I get you?
Yes, you fucking got me.
All right.
Fuck.
That was a good one.
All right, you're looking good.
Yeah?
All right, so, hi Travel Buggies.
We are here with our very
own Christmas scarecrow.
Yay, we found him.
And it's pretty cool actually,
because when we were gonna go to Germany,
we were going to be
investigating scarecrows
based on this French German folklore tale
about a guy named Hans Trapp
who would dress as a scarecrow
and kill children and he would eat them.
And it's so creepy.
Anyway, this guy's perfect.
He's just our version.
(laughing)
[Dave] Very Christmasy.
Dave, do you love him?
[Dave] I mean, he is very freaky.
This is like, I have no idea
what he's even doing here.
Yeah, I don't really know.
But it's probably like,
there's some orchards up there,
so maybe they just left
this area and it's just.
[Dave] Yeah, maybe they
don't want us to be here.
(both laughing)
Well, that's fine.
I mean, like, yeah.
I suppose he would scare things off.
But not us, we're too brave for that.
Dave, come and have a look.
[Dave] Okay, okay.
Come and pose.
[Dave] All right, all right, I'm coming.
We're gonna like do a summoning
and see if we can get Hans
Trapp to reveal himself.
Do you think it's gonna be okay?
Yeah.
It'll be cool.
Artie.
So we're going to do this like
summoning to call Hans Trapp.
So I did like a Google
translate from German.
So essentially it comes down to this.
And the big kids, they would dress up
and they would all do it
to scare the little kids.
And then someone would chase them
when they're dressed up as the scarecrow.
It be great.
- Okay.
It's good fun.
All right, all right.
- Okay, so I think.
- What did it say?
It's something like,
"Hans Trapp, Hans Trapp,"
"come out and snap the
necks of naughty kids."
(Dave laughing)
Ready?
Okay, one, two, three.
[Both] "Hans Trapp, Hans Trapp",
"come out and snap the
necks of naughty kids."
(both laughing)
That's insane.
No?
Okay, yeah, no that's, no, yeah,
it's crazy.
- Yeah.
It's good, it's good.
Okay.
(Jess laughing)
Why is it about, like.
Should we pose with him?
Yeah, let's do a little pose.
Okay.
What you wanna do,
like a Charlie's Angels?
Okay, yeah.
Why is every folklore
about making kids behave?
You know, it's just parents
trying to teach their kids lessons.
I mean, kids are little shits.
Like, you were a little shit.
I know, but you could just use logic.
Why do you have to scare
the shit out of me?
- I don't know
if kids understand logic.
Look at this thing.
(both laughing)
It's insane.
How about just,
"Don't go to the stove
'cause it's gonna burn you."
You don't have to, "Don't go to the stove"
"'cause we're gonna have your whole family
"get murdered in a fire."
- So uncreative.
Okay, does it look good?
- Yeah.
- It's nice?
[Dave] I think you look good.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Are you ready?
[Dave] I'm freezing
my balls off, but yeah.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Think we're ready to go.
I mean, me too, it's
cold, but it's fine.
- You're a boss, Babe.
- Do I look okay?
[Dave] Yeah, you look fine.
- Yeah.
- You look good.
Looks Christmasy.
- Fine?
[Dave] And fun and classy.
Welcome back everybody.
Welcome to Travel Bugs.
And we have missed you.
(laughing)
So, hi, I'm Jess, we've
got Dave on camera.
And we are here.
Look, I know we promised that
we were gonna go to Germany
and I'm sorry we're not in Germany.
We tried, but travel
restrictions and all that,
so we have something even better for you.
Okay, we are here at Donna Lake.
Look how beautiful that is.
Look at all the snow on the
trees and the mountains.
That's incredible, it's so good.
But look, we're gonna have
an amazing Christmas here.
We're gonna go camping.
We're gonna make, we've got ham steaks.
We're gonna do all these kinds of things.
We're gonna like make
beautiful meal at the fire.
And it's gonna be great.
We're gonna prove to you that you can have
the best Christmas while camping,
even if your plans change.
Okay, Dave smile.
Yay.
(laughing)
Have a look.
The tunnel over there, see?
(wind gushing)
[Dave] Okay, ready?
Yeah.
Thanks, okay.
Yay.
Hey.
(Jess laughing)
All right, we got it, we got it.
Let's do it.
- Okay.
Let's hit it.
(wind gushing)
(Dave screaming)
Okay.
All right, so, we are here
at the tunnel at Donna Pass.
It's gonna be very cool.
We're gonna go have a look.
We're gonna explore it.
We're gotta do some adventuring.
And it's gonna be very exciting.
So get ready.
You okay?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Yeah?
- Yeah, no, I'm good.
- You sure?
Like, I dunno, like, do you think
part of you is losing, I mean,
I'm losing a little bit of energy
for this whole kind of thing.
Don't you feel like it's like
we're kind of spinning
our wheels a little bit?
Like, got 200 subscribers,
it's been years of this, right?
Like.
- Yeah.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could just
go on a vacation like this, go
to the mountains, go camping,
and just not film anything.
Just enjoy each other's time.
I mean, but I'm still, I'm
enjoying our time together.
- Yeah.
- As it is.
And it's fun.
And then we've got this
to like look back on.
Yeah but wouldn't it be,
you don't think it'd be
better if we could just like,
just not have to worry about
framing and shots and sound
and waiting for wind.
I don't know, I mean,
I think we're good at it
and I think it's fun.
Well, yeah, I mean.
And people like it.
I know we don't have a.
- 200 people might like it.
They do like it.
If they're real people.
They're real people.
It could be bots.
They're not bots.
If there were bots, there
would be more of them.
That's so sad.
(both laughing)
If you think about that,
that's so sad.
- No, it's not.
I have so much fun with you doing this.
I know, well,
I'm just saying like,
we could have more fun
if we just didn't have to
worry about all this stuff.
And we could just, like, if we're,
part of me feels like we
should just be at home
with our families, eating cookies,
opening presents, getting drunk.
Doesn't that sound nice?
Well, okay.
We can have a drink tonight
and then after this, after this we'll go.
We'll go see your family
and we'll get your cookies.
My mom's cookies.
Okay, your mom's cookies.
She makes good cookies.
Yes, she does make really good cookies.
- All right, well.
- I promise.
All right, well, if
we're gonna do this one,
we might as well do it right.
- Yeah.
Okay, so let's do the intro.
I feel like if we're gonna do it right,
we should just do it under the tunnel.
It'll be a better shot.
Yeah.
See, that's a great idea.
- I know.
- Look at your big brain.
I'm a genius.
You're beautiful.
I'm a genius.
(Jess laughing)
Careful getting down.
- Oh.
- Is this slippery?
Uh-oh.
A little.
It's okay.
[Dave] An icicle just fell
off from that big chunk.
[Jess] Really?
Yeah, like a little one.
(wind gushing)
(water dripping)
Here we have an actual example of artwork
done in the late 1800s, you can see,
when they're making these tunnels.
Some sort of rocket ship.
Get it all in my mouth at once.
(Jess laughing)
[Jess] Yeah great, really good.
(Jess laughing)
Okay.
Okay, rolling.
Rolling?
Yep.
Okay, all right.
Okay, hi everybody, we are
here right now at the tunnel,
at Donna Pass, at the summit.
It's very, very cool.
And look at these icicles.
- Very cool.
- Yeah.
Before there were tunnels here,
there's the Donna party came through
and they got stuck trying
to get to California.
And they got stuck on the mountain
and they had no food, and
it was the middle of winter,
and they ate each other.
We thought perfect place
to film a Christmas special.
- Yeah.
- You know,
just family coming
together, eating each other.
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
You know, and Christmas
feasts delicious,
just like lots of, you know, it was great,
it was good times.
- Yeah.
And then when they were
building these tunnels,
they had all these Chinese
workers doing all this work,
and they used nitroglycerin
and black powder
and it killed so many people.
So obviously they're haunted.
Yeah.
So the theme of this is death.
Yeah.
Before anything terrible happens,
we should get out of here
and go to our campsite.
Yeah, let's do it.
- And get set up, yeah.
- Let's hit it.
Okay, all right, let's go.
Have to film everything?
People wanna see the sexy
unpacking of the car.
Check it out, we found a Christmas tree.
[Jess] Beautiful.
There we go.
You're getting into it.
Yeah.
There's no ornaments, but it'll do.
[Jess] We should have brought some.
We can make one.
[Jess] Yeah?
With some trash.
(Jess laughing)
This is pretty intense for
your first camping trip.
Yeah.
I'm ambitious, what can I say?
So what's our plan
after we get this set up?
Well,
we'll get our tent set up
and then we'll set up a fire
and then we will make
dinner with the fireplace.
Where were you planning
on setting up a fire?
Just there.
On the snow?
Yeah.
It's not, it's like a little dip there.
Yeah, but you know that like snow melts
when near fire, right.
It's just gonna get wet.
And what wood are we gonna use?
All the woods wet.
I thought you said you had
like a perfect spot picked out.
There's like no dry areas for.
Where are we gonna cook our food?
Well, we have the stove as well.
The stove?
Yeah, it's like a little stove.
Have you seen the stove?
Yeah, I've seen the stove.
- It's fine.
- It's like for boiling water.
Well, no, we can make, we
can experiment, it'll be fine.
[Dave] Here we have Jess cooking
on our blazing campfire,
crackling campfire.
How are we doing, Jess?
[Jess] Great.
[Dave] Everything
going according to plan.
Yeah,
it's gonna be great.
- Just how we planned it.
Perfect.
Gonna make gravy and
it's gonna be delicious.
See how this looks?
All right, Buggies.
Here we are at our amazing
campsite cooking our dinner
on this blazing hot fire
in the middle of this frozen tundra.
Okay.
Loving life.
No regrets.
(insects chirping)
You done, you finished?
I don't know.
You've gotten it out of your system?
I don't know,
this is brutal.
- Fuck.
Yeah fuck, you don't have
to be so fucking negative.
This is turning into a,
how not to do this, video.
Next up, we're gonna be
cooking steaks in this.
Okay, I've done my best, all right.
Is this your best?
This is fucking nuts.
- Fuck.
We're gonna freeze the death.
Did you do anything?
Did you help.
- Yeah,
I was involved this whole,
like you didn't talk to
me about planning at all.
You didn't even offer to help.
You didn't try to do anything.
You've just been negative the whole time.
I didn't want to even do this.
I just wanted to be at home
with our family.
- Yeah, I know that,
I know you didn't wanna do this.
You didn't wanna do any of this.
I know that.
You've said it so many times.
You're proving me wrong.
This is insane.
We're gonna freeze the death.
We can still bail.
- No we're not.
No.
We've just spent all day doing this
and you wanna bail now.
Yeah.
It is freezing cold tonight.
- Why the fuck
would we bother.
- I have no idea.
- Good, great.
We're gonna cook our entire.
Awesome.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, whatever.
Oh my God, this is fucking stupid.
Guess we're not gonna eat tonight.
(insects chirping)
Hey babe.
[Jess] Leave me alone.
I think we're in trouble.
[Jess] What the fuck?
Oh, why did you do that?
What the fuck?
Fuck.
Merry Christmas.
[Jess] What?
What did you do?
How did you even make it go boom?
I got those crackers,
especially from Australia.
Just for you, my little kangaroo.
(Jess laughing)
Do you forgive me?
What?
I know I've been a little dickish
and I'm still freezing my balls off.
Yeah, you have been dickish.
But I'm trying to make it better.
Look at my head.
Of with my hood.
What's up with my trees?
(both laughing)
Okay.
Yeah, they look a little better.
Will you forgive me?
Yeah, maybe.
Okay, yeah.
Just turn that off, let's go to bed.
(insects chirping)
Dave.
Dave.
Dave.
- Oh my God.
What are you doing?
I'm fucking sleeping.
Why are you?
Oh my God.
Why are you shining the light?
Go back to sleep.
(Jess speaking indistinctly)
[Jess] What the fuck is that?
[Dave] What are you doing?
What, what, what, what?
[Jess] Babe, there's someone out there.
[Dave] Babe, there's nothing out there.
We're just in the middle of the woods.
[Jess] No, there's somebody
out there, I saw them.
[Dave] What are you talking about?
- Dave.
- There's nobody.
[Jess] Dave, there's somebody out there.
Do you want me to just go check?
I'll show you, there's nothing out there.
No no, there's something out there.
It's probably nothing.
No, just close.
- There's somebody out there.
Close that.
(Jess gasping)
(Jess crying)
That sounded close.
Well, I told you.
You think that's a person?
Yes, that's a person, I saw someone.
You think it's just like a kid
fucking with us.
- No, I saw
a whole big person.
What the fuck?
What is that?
Stay down.
(metal banging)
(Jess gasping)
Turn that light off.
- No.
- We need to get the fuck out.
No.
Dave.
Somebody's fucking with us.
Let's just go.
- Nobody's fucking with us.
It's a kid fucking with us.
No it's not.
(metal dragging)
This is fucked up.
This isn't fucking happening right now.
This is not happening.
This is a joke.
It's not a joke.
It's not a joke.
I swear to God, this is not happening.
This not real.
Someone's fucking with us.
- Dave, it's not.
It's not real.
It's real, it's real.
You can hear these things outside.
I do, but I don't think ghost,
I think it's the fucking
kids messing with us.
I don't know what the fuck it is.
I saw a person.
- You saw a person?
- Yes.
That's what I'm saying,
it's probably person.
- There's some
fucking thing out there.
(rock banging)
Hey, who the fuck is out there?
Stop, shh, shh.
What the fuck?
It's just a fucking.
(Jess gasping)
It's gonna be okay.
(Jess gasping)
We're fine.
It's nothing crazy.
(Jess gasping)
We're gonna be okay.
What are we gonna do?
Let's just go back to the.
What the fuck is that.
(Hans Trapp growling)
Go, we gotta fucking go.
Jess, get the fuck out.
(Jess screaming)
Get the fuck out.
Get the zipper.
Get the fucking zipper,
let's get the fuck out.
(Jess screaming)
Go, go, go, go, go.
(Jess screaming)
Just get to the ride, just go.
Just fucking go, just fucking go.
Don't look back, don't look back.
Don't look back.
Just fucking go.
Go to the car, go the car, go to the car.
Get to the fucking car.
(Jess gasping)
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Keep going, keep going,
keep going, keep going,
don't look back.
(Jess crying)
Don't look back, keep fucking going.
(Jess gasping)
[Jess] Oh my God.
(Jess gasping)
Dave.
(Jess gasping)
Dave.
Dave.
(Hans Trapp growling)
(body dragging)
(Jess moaning)
(wind gushing)
(bones chopping)
(wind gushing)
(Hans Trapp slurping)
(Jess crying)
Please.
Please don't.
(Jess crying)
(Jess screaming)
(bones chopping)
(Jess screaming)
(bones chopping)
(Jess screaming)
The world premiere, we did it.
Man, "Travel Buggies."
I'm just so honored I
could bring you this film.
Now, I just want to hear your thoughts,
suggestions, favorite characters.
And I wanna start with you.
Tell me your thoughts.
What was the your favorite moment?
Do you feel different?
Do you feel inspired?
(Bill crying)
I feel terrified.
[Geoff] Of, "Travel Buggies?"
Okay.
How about you?
It fucking sucked.
- Stop, Eli.
- Now, let us go.
Stop.
[Geoff] That's why you got
a red scarf for Christmas.
You got no taste in movies.
Now I'm asking you again.
What did you think of, "Travel Buggies?"
He loved it, it's so good.
- It fucking sucked.
- He loved it.
Stop.
Okay, all right.
We're gonna shoot this in
profile, like Fellini would.
[Rachel] Who the is Fellini?
- You're gonna line up.
- You crazy motherfucker.
Stop.
- Don't, you're never
gonna say that again.
- Stop, Rachel.
You're gonna line up in profile, okay.
[Bill] Stop.
Hey, hey, hey.
I said profile, damn it.
Come on, Rachel.
Don't disappoint me.
Okay.
Well, I'm gonna tell you
what I think fucking sucks,
your scarf.
No, fuck, don't touch him.
Fuck.
- Dad.
[Lisa] Stop.
All right.
I used to do kickboxing.
You don't wanna make me use it.
There you go, bro.
[Eli] Fucking asshole.
I did like your reaction.
Terrifying is good.
But you're still bugging me.
Wait, fuck you.
(Lisa screaming)
Oh, fuck you.
You like that knee?
(Bill moaning)
That's what I thought.
All right.
God, you guys are a grumpy group, Jesus.
Rachel, how don't you
live with these people?
Okay, okay.
Let's lighten the mood.
Let's go with the Christmas movie.
My other favorite, "The Christmas Gift."
[Lisa] Oh.
This is a little bit
more romantic, okay.
Now sit up, change the pallet.
I present you, "The Christmas Gift."
[Rachel] Mom.
[Jess] Bang.
Hey guys, Merry Christmas.
That was a pretty good surprise, right?
You dad popping out of
a box on Christmas Eve.
(laughing)
Okay, since both of you guys,
all you do is watch YouTube videos
of people unboxing things.
I decided I'd make you your very own
boxing video from your dad.
So here's how this happened.
Apparently no one will ship a
human being, I don't know why.
But luckily, I found this guy,
I put a Facebook post out
there and he answered me.
So he's gonna deliver me
right to the front door.
I am a little nervous.
You know your dad's claustrophobic,
so this should be exciting.
But I'm gonna film the whole thing,
so you'll you'll be right there with me.
This is gonna be awesome.
(door knocking)
Oh, there he is.
All right, so our delivery guys here and.
Huh, no way.
This is perfect.
He's dressed as Santa.
Okay, this was a bonus.
I did not know that he was
gonna be dressed as Santa.
Oh, I love it.
Hey, how are you?
Merry Christmas.
[Dean] I'm Dean, what's your name?
Santa Claus.
[Dean] Okay, what's your actual name?
Santa Claus.
What's with the camera?
We gonna be on the internet or something?
[Dean] No, no, this is just for my kids.
No, I'm doing like a little
behind the scenes video for 'em, so.
Say hi to Will and Finn.
Hey, kiddies.
Hello Will, Swen, ha, ha.
[Dean] Finn.
Sin.
[Dean] Finn.
- Oh.
- Nevermind.
Merry Christmas.
[Dean] Hey, where are you from?
My mother.
[Dean] Okay.
So I guess your mother's
Australian, right?
New Zealand?
- You're good.
- All right.
Well, like I said on the
phone, here's the box.
So what we can do is we just,
you know, maybe pull up
about a block from the house,
and then I'll jump in
and then you just pull me
up in front of the house.
If you wanna go ring
the doorbell as Santa,
it's gonna be amazing.
And then I'll pop out
and that'll be it.
- Merry Christmas.
(laughing)
I love it.
[Dean] I really appreciate
you doing this last second, man.
This is really.
- No, no, my pleasure.
This is what we do.
[Dean] It's really cool of you, man.
So, the loading dock is in the back,
so why don't I grab a dolly
and we'll get this thing
wheeled back, all right.
Sounds like a thing.
[Dean] All right.
Let's do it.
Okay, I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
It just keeps falling off.
Oh, well that's
definitely a different way
of tying down a box.
- Don't worry.
- You don't
stick around trucks much, do ya?
[Dean] No, I spend most
of my time in the office.
Yeah, kinda like Christmas cheer,
you only get it once, that's it.
Look at that.
[Dean] All right,
that's not going anywhere.
(truck banging)
Cool.
May never teach you.
That'll be fine.
[Santa] Let us depart hence forth.
Oh, this is gonna be awesome.
Here we go.
Thanks for letting me film this.
I love that you guys do
this, it's really cool.
Well, thank you.
You know.
- Really good at this.
It's Christmas, you've
gotta give something back.
- Yeah, yeah.
- You know,
even if things go wrong in your
life and that's not so good,
you know, you've still gotta be prepared
to just give a little back.
And that's what we try to do.
My kids, they don't
believe in Santa anymore,
but I'm sure they'll get
a kick out of it though.
Oh.
Had a kid at school tell
them the truth at one point,
little Jamie.
I'm never gonna forgive you, Jamie,
for ruining my kids' innocence.
- Listen.
- Hey Jamie,
you know who else doesn't exist?
Your father.
- Ah.
- That's,
okay that was.
Ooh, that was mean.
- I'll cut that out.
- Oh no,
that's not Christmas cheer.
No, no, no, no.
If you don't mind, look,
I'd like to be able to go
and pick up Mrs. Claus.
We were.
- Mrs. Claus, okay.
Mrs. Claus, yeah.
When we finish with you,
we were gonna go and deliver presents
to the underprivileged kids, so.
Oh okay.
If that's okay.
Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
Does Mrs. Claus have an name?
Yeah, Mrs. Claus.
Okay, all right.
You know, I love this with the camera.
This is really cool.
- Yeah?
Yeah.
Well, it's the only
way I can reach my kids.
All they watch is YouTube videos.
Well, you know, there's
some nice stuff on YouTube.
You know, Mrs. Claus, she loves
shooting stuff for YouTube too.
She loves, she's really
good with a camera.
Really good.
- Oh yeah, really?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Well, I'm glad you're out there
trying to solve it by giving back.
That's really cool.
I just, I never have time,
especially around this time of year.
It's like the busiest time for us, so.
I would love to be able to
give back, but, you know.
- Well, I mean.
- Too much going on.
It's Christmas.
Yo, ho, ho, a season
of cheer and goodwill.
(Dean laughing)
We gotta do it, you know.
Yeah, yeah.
Gotta keep that smile.
Enjoy.
(Dean laughing)
Never know what tomorrow may bring.
So we're just about there.
Which one's yours?
And there she is.
She's got the full get up too.
Oh, this just gets better and better.
Hello.
- Mrs. Claus.
- Oh my love.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas to you.
I suppose you're Dean?
[Dean] Yes, I'm Dean.
- So nice to meet you.
- I'm doing a little video
for my kids.
Oh, well, hello kids.
Merry Christmas.
Dean's getting in the box in the back.
Oh, he's getting in the box in the back?
Yes, it's a surprise for
his family for Christmas.
Oh, how lovely, I love that.
- Yeah.
- Wonderful.
I love to wrap presents.
[Dean] Do you?
- I do.
- Okay.
I think maybe you should
get in the box now, Dean, huh?
Can we get a little closer to the house?
What, two blocks?
Oh yes, let's get it over with.
[Dean] Yeah, I know, but
there's quite a few speed bumps.
It'll be.
I'll drive slow.
He's a wonderful driver.
[Dean] Ah, well the
box is gonna be upright.
Okay all right.
- You'll fine.
You'll be fine.
- We'll tie you in.
Okay.
- Come on let's do it.
[Dean] All right, just
drive slow, please, thank you.
[Santa] All right, let's do it.
Okay, you can close it.
Oh God, oh, I don't like this.
Here we go.
(laughing)
This is stupid.
I love you guys.
This how much I love you.
I'm like in.
Okay, we're moving.
Okay.
(laughing)
Okay.
Oh, this may not have
been the smartest idea.
(laughing)
Oh, I really don't like this.
(laughing)
Your dad loves you so much.
Whoa, speed bump.
That he has put himself
into a tiny confined space.
(laughing)
To surprise you for Christmas.
Okay.
(laughing)
Okay, breathe.
(truck horn honking)
Whoa, hey guy, hey.
(truck horn honking)
Hey guys.
You needed to make a right
back there, not a left.
Hey guys.
Guys, can you hear me?
(truck engine revving)
Hey.
Hey.
Santa, whatever the fuck.
Santa, you needed to make,
you need to turn around,
we're going the wrong way.
(truck engine revving)
What the fuck?
Hey guys.
Hey.
Pull the truck over okay.
We're going the right way.
(truck engine revving)
Hey, pull the truck over.
(truck engine revving)
Look, listen, I don't wanna
be locked in here okay.
Just pull the fucking truck over.
(truck engine revving)
Pull the truck over.
Guys, pull the fucking truck over.
God damn it.
Oh shit, oh shit.
Oh fuck.
I'm like fucking scared.
(truck engine revving)
(moaning)
(truck engine revving)
Shit.
(truck engine revving)
Shit.
Where the fuck are we going?
No, fuck.
Oh fuck.
(truck engine revving)
(gasping)
(truck engine revving)
Breathe.
(gasping)
(truck engine revving)
(gasping)
(truck engine revving)
Please, please, pull over, pull over.
Please stop, please stop, please.
(truck engine revving)
Please stop this.
Please.
Please stop this.
(truck engine revving)
Oh shit.
(truck engine revving)
(gasping)
Oh, thank God.
(gasping)
Hello.
(truck door slamming)
(gasping)
Hello, hey.
(gasping)
Hey.
Hey, where are we?
(camera banging)
Come on, sleepy head, wake up.
Come on, come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on, wake up.
(Santa laughing)
Where are we?
Where are we?
Oh my goodness.
[Dean] What the fuck?
I'll let you know.
Mrs. Claus, would you
let contestant number one
know exactly where he is.
[Mrs. Claus] I certainly will.
I certainly will, Santa Claus.
You dear Dean, are in my dance studio.
Okay.
Just, okay, you can untie me, man.
This is not cool,
just let me go.
- No, no,
hey, hey, hey settle
Look at all the wonderful decorations
that Mrs. Claus has done Christmas.
[Dean] Oh.
[Santa] They're beautiful.
- Thank you.
- You've done
a wonderful job, sweetie.
- Oh, thank you, dear.
- Wonderful job.
[Mrs. Claus] Thank you.
Now, look up there.
See up there?
- Yeah.
- There's a camera.
Your children are still going
to get your Christmas video.
And guess what?
Mrs. Claus is filming everything.
And she is so good, oh my gosh she's like
an Academy Award winning photographer.
[Mrs. Claus] No, stop.
You've done a wonderful job
of decorating for Christmas.
[Mrs. Claus] Thank you,
thank you, thank you.
You know who I am?
You're Santa.
Do you know who I am?
No.
[Santa] No, of course not.
You're just such an arrogant human being.
You think of nothing except
yourself and what you can get.
You don't even think of
your family for Christmas.
And now you're trying
to make it up to them.
My friend, the piper has to be paid.
And I am the piper.
Let me fill you in.
For 16 years, I was a delivery
man for a big company.
I delivered all kinds of things.
But to one particular client,
I delivered advent calendars.
Now, just before Christmas,
that client rang and said to the manager,
he didn't get his advent calendars.
I was asked, and I said,
of course he got them, I
delivered them, I always deliver.
But because this manager was so arrogant,
all he could think about was
his job and keeping his client.
So guess what he did.
Guess.
He got you fired.
Yes, he had me fired.
So now, because I had no choices,
no chances, nothing,
I've decided that you get chances.
We're gonna play a game.
Mrs. Claus.
- Yes.
- Tell our contested
what this game is.
[Mrs. Claus] Well, Mr.
Claus, this is Pick a Box.
Pick a Box.
[Santa] See all the
boxes in front of you.
Like a calendar and advent calendar.
Yeah.
- From one to 12.
Well, six of these boxes have wonderful,
wonderful things in them.
Six of them have things in,
you really don't wanna know about,
do you Mrs. Claus?
- No, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
- No, no, no, no.
Very, very, very bad.
Okay, do you want money, man?
'Cause I got money.
I can give you money.
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Listen to me.
All you need to do is pick a box.
- Just untie me, I'll.
- Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Now, Mrs. Claus.
[Mrs. Claus] Yes?
What box should he pick?
I think he should choose 11.
- 11?
- 11.
Oh my gosh.
Pick your box, come on, come on, come on.
11, fine.
Pick.
11, fucking 11.
Thank you.
Now,
Mrs. Claus.
- Yes?
I want you to hand me that camera
and you tell him what he has won.
[Mrs. Claus] Okay.
[Santa] Tell him what
he won. Mrs. Claus.
It's gonna be so good.
Oh.
Well,
you won mistletoes.
This is lotion.
And I'm gonna rub your feet.
Oh God.
(Santa laughing)
[Dean] What?
- You're gonna love this.
- Oh my God.
This is a good box.
Gimme your foot.
Gimme your foot.
Dean, give me your foot.
That one.
Oh boy, okay.
Okay.
This is good.
This is good.
- Okay, okay, okay.
I'm really good at this.
And well, Santa likes it.
And, oh,
I like it.
Oh, sorry.
Little much there.
Oh God.
Oh God.
Oh God, that feels good, right?
Okay, okay, okay, okay, just.
(exhaling)
[Santa] Is that good?
Oh, I think so.
It's good, right, Dean?
Oh, come on.
Right?
Yes, it's great, it's
good, it's good, it's fine.
God damn.
[Santa] Come on, this
is for you, enjoy it.
Dean, come on, give me a little moan,
a little something.
- No, I'm okay, I'm okay.
Okay.
- Come on.
[Dean] No, it's very
nice, it's very nice.
I like it, it's good.
[Santa] I don't get this.
What's with this guy, what the hell?
[Santa] All right, that's
it, that's it, stop, stop.
We're gonna go on with more boxes.
That was a waste.
[Santa] You had your chance, Dean.
Okay.
All right.
There Mrs. Claus, you have the camera.
Ah, well, we're back again.
Contestant number one.
And what was your first choice?
A wonderful foot massage.
You're on a roll, you're on a roll.
You might pick the next box
and it could be safe passage home.
Oh my Lord, wouldn't that be something?
- Yeah, that'll be great.
- So,
now's your chance.
Now you get the chance
to pick another box.
So let's go.
Shall we pick one?
Okay.
Which box?
Come on, which box?
Come on, come on.
Four, I pick four.
Oh.
Yeah.
Are you sure?
[Mrs. Claus] I don't know, Dean.
Yes, four, it is four.
Well, I mean, that's one
after three and one before five.
That's the one?
That's, yes, four, that's fine.
Four.
(laughing)
Oh, this is so exciting,
my God.
- Yes.
I'll open it.
[Mrs. Claus] Oh boy, Dean.
(box shaking)
Yeah, it's exciting.
What do you think it is?
Oh my gosh.
And the card says,
"I hear sleigh bells ringing."
[Mrs. Claus] Uh-oh.
Oh no, Dean, I'm sorry.
[Dean] What's that mean?
It means that you get
a choice, my friend.
You get a choice.
You can have elf ears.
Or I can take one ear.
Okay, okay, okay.
This is, okay.
- No, no, no, no.
- No, no, no, I'm good.
Okay, okay, okay, okay,
I get it, I get it, I'm sorry.
I'm really fucking sorry, man.
I'm so sorry.
(Dean mumbling)
Just let me go okay.
I have kids.
(Dean mumbling)
[Mrs. Claus] Just play nice, Dean.
You really bore me, Dean,
you haven't learned a thing.
Money does not change anything, Dean.
- Please man, just.
- You are still arrogant.
No, no, what if I can't do it.
- I'll make you.
- No, no, no.
Oh God damn.
Fuck, God.
(Dean crying)
[Mrs. Claus] Oh dear.
(Dean crying)
What do you think?
Mrs. Claus.
- Yeah I see.
What do you think?
It's something.
- A present.
A present.
[Mrs. Claus] Look at that.
Yeah.
(Dean moaning)
(Santa laughing)
Merry Christmas, your first present.
Oh fuck, we've gotta finish this game.
You know what?
There's only one more choice.
One more choice.
What?
What one should we take?
One,
two
or three?
What one?
What one?
[Dean] I don't know.
You don't know?
Mrs. Claus, what do you think?
[Mrs. Claus] I'd go with two.
- Two?
- Yeah.
She wants two.
Okay.
Two?
Two.
(Santa laughing)
It's two.
I'm gonna get it, boy,
you watch, this is good.
Number two.
Oh.
Are you ready?
No.
[Santa] This could be your way home.
Let me open it.
[Mrs. Claus] Stay positive, Dean.
Oh my goodness.
(Mrs. Claus laughing)
It says,
"Pa, rum, pa, pa, pum."
"Boom."
(both laughing)
Yeah.
Oh.
- Oh.
This is your way home.
I really wanna go home.
You're gonna go home?
- I wanna go home now.
- Now.
Oh, this will be such fun.
Whoa.
[Mrs. Claus] Oh, you're all dirty.
Take your side.
- Okay.
- Come on, let's.
Oh, this will be good for me.
- Oh Dean, cheer up.
- At last.
Open, open wide.
Open wide.
That's our boy.
Are you ready?
Yeah.
One, two, three, pull.
(head exploding)
(truck engine revving)
(birds chirping)
(dogs barking)
(wind gushing)
Oh, it's heavy.
Daddy's home for Christmas.
(both laughing)
Mommy, dad sent you a wonderful video.
So, shall we.
(door bell ringing)
(both laughing)
Merry Christmas.
And that was, "The Christmas Gift."
A bit more Christmasy.
Beautiful story about family, art.
Sad he didn't make it in the end,
but hey, we're here, we're
family, it's Christmas.
And I really want to accentuate that,
love, okay, passion.
You guys are a little stale.
I wanna spice things up here.
Okay, Rach, get behind me.
You wanna get the angle.
This is what we call a master shot, okay.
So, mistletoe, what happens
when we have mistletoe?
Let's bring the romance together.
I want mom and dad to kiss.
- Stop.
- Okay, that's enough.
- Please.
- That's enough.
- Stop.
- Rachel, Rachel,
I didn't tell you to talk,
I told you to film, okay.
So let's get a kiss here.
Let's bring the passion.
It's Christmas.
Show your guys that you love each other,
come on, let's do it.
Something he hasn't seen it before.
All right, come on.
Let's get a kiss.
Why?
Just get a kiss.
Guys, your relationship that bad?
Come on.
Just like you're 18 at a drive-in.
Oh my God.
(Lisa crying)
Wasn't that pathetic.
Come on.
- Okay, please
just let us go.
- Hey, don't make me
get your son to show you how it's done.
Just leave us a alone, please.
All right, let's get one kiss.
And all, you gotta kiss
and you're free, come on.
Passion on three.
Ready?
One, two, three, passion.
Rachel film.
Zoom in, come on.
Kiss like you love each other, kiss.
All right.
(Lisa crying)
I don't know what that was.
Rachel all right, camera up.
Come here, okay, let's turn, move.
Now we're gonna go into
uncharted territory.
We're gonna be, untitled.
This is gonna be a good one.
This is gonna be a good one, Rachel.
I don't even know what's coming, okay,
so settle in.
Hi, I'm Dominic, I'm 28-years-old.
I was told to come here to
find the love of my life.
And so I can stop living
at my parents' house.
(video disturbance)
[Controller] Don't
try to speak, you can't.
There is a chip in your head,
which is how you can hear me.
Now follow these instructions
if you want to be home for Christmas.
In front of you is a gift
for someone very special.
I need it delivered to room 208A,
at the Pink Hotel, in 15 minutes.
If you don't, boom goes the gift.
And don't try to escape.
Step five feet from it,
and you guessed it, boom.
Good luck and Merry Christmas.
Oh, and this chip technology
isn't perfect yet,
we're still developing it.
So you may occasionally lose time
or start to see things or people.
They're not real, but they can
be well, a little unsettling.
Good luck.
(video disturbance)
(Dominic moaning)
(gift beeping)
(video disturbance)
We can roll some dice together.
(video disturbance)
(gift beeping)
(Dominic moaning)
No, no, no.
(Dominic gasping)
(gift beeping)
Once you get to know me,
we'll have a great time.
(gift beeping)
(Dominic moaning)
Hey, Merry Christmas.
Donate for the kids.
(Dominic crying)
(gift beeping)
Oh, thanks.
(Dominic crying)
(gift beeping)
(Dominic moaning)
(gift beeping)
(door knocking)
(gift beeping)
(Dominic moaning)
(door knocking)
(gift beeping)
(video disturbance)
(dramatic music)
Not the left boob, but in the heart.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
(gift beeping)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I think if I find the one,
I'll let her know my answer.
Okay, that one was a little weird,
but still it was a film.
Rachel, you're learning,
each movie's teaching you something.
That's what you need to
do to become a filmmaker.
So now is what I call my
favorite experience at a movie,
the intermission, okay, the snacks.
It's where we reload our focus
and our intensity to watch the next film.
So you know what?
Here, you deserve the cookie.
Rachel, let's shoot in right here.
No, it's okay.
It's okay, it's okay.
Are you doing okay, buddy?
- Yeah.
- I think you need a cookie.
I'm okay.
You need some calories?
No, it's okay.
You need to balance that blood sugar.
- Stop.
- This is
gonna be really good.
Rachel, focus.
It's good, right?
Aha.
And you need to make sure to chew.
Take it in, savor each bite,
okay, this is entertainment.
Okay, chew it, each bite 26 times.
Calm down, it's okay, you're
doing all right, okay.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Take that in.
Breathe.
Now you can breathe, okay.
All right, we're gonna
come to one more film.
Are you guys ready for that?
You've been incredible troopers tonight.
I mean, Rachel, your family's amazing.
I know it started off intense,
but film school in one
night is not easy, okay.
So we are gonna go to
something that I call,
"The Christmas Spirit."
And I feel like we've bonded now,
we've become a little closer.
He's got that look, you know,
when you've sat through movies
and you're finding your soul is expanding.
She's got a little smile on her face.
And Rachel, here we go,
"The Christmas Spirit."
[Ian] Okay, we made it.
Are you really gonna film everything?
[Ian] Yes, come on, it's for the family.
(laughing)
In that case, can we film the tour
before the movers get here?
[Ian] I think that's a great idea.
Can I have the keys?
[Ian] Yes.
Yes.
Got the keys.
- Oh my gosh, we made it.
New home, Merry Christmas.
[Ian] Ooh, Merry Christmas.
Okay.
[Ian] Are you ready?
I think so.
Okay.
[Ian] Moment of truth.
Hope we have the right keys.
Yes.
Yes.
(laughing)
[Ian] Hello.
Okay.
Some paint.
[Ian] Oh, yes.
(laughing)
- Okay, okay.
- We can change that.
Wood.
- Spacious.
- Oh, there's a fireplace.
That's cute.
[Ian] Perfect.
Stockings on there.
Yes, stockings.
- Oh man.
- That's cute.
[Ian] But it's nice, right, it's nice?
- It's big.
- Yeah.
This is a big room, I like it.
[Ian] Yeah, let's check that room out.
Little entry room.
Yeah.
[Ian] Down the hallway here, okay.
Floors.
And got a, bathroom number one.
It's like we're in five
different decades here.
All can be changed.
What'd you find in there?
Anything, Devin?
Hello?
Devin.
- Boo.
- Oh my God.
(both laughing)
I found.
- What?
- A closet thing.
- Looks like a.
- Lots of shelving units
for all your books.
[Ian] Coffin, huh.
Really, yeah.
Lots of wood.
This feels like Colorado.
[Ian] Yeah, we can change this for sure.
Yeah.
Oh, different flooring.
[Ian] Yeah, I know.
I was saying it's like
traveling through time here.
Oh dude, do you see this fan?
[Ian] I do see that fan.
[Devin] Like a weapon.
[Ian] It looks like a.
Murder weapon?
[Ian] Yeah.
[Devin] So Ian, who are
you on the phone with?
The moving company, right?
And you've been on hold
for what, 20, 21 minutes?
[Devin] 25, 25 minutes.
Just waiting and waiting
and waiting.
- Yes, hello.
- Oh.
Yes, of course, you're welcome.
Sorry, what?
Okay, okay.
They haven't even left Denver.
[Devin] They haven't even left?
They haven't even,
you haven't even left.
- Why not?
Okay.
[Devin] Oh God.
26th.
- 26th?
- Yes.
There's no way that that could be sooner.
Yes, I know, I know,
we were looking forward to Christmas also.
Yeah.
Okay, I understand.
Okay, yeah, thank you.
Yes, Merry Christmas.
You filthy fucks.
Okay.
- Merry fucking Christmas.
- Merry fucking Christmas.
[Devin] Why don't we
have any of our stuff here?
Truck broke down and they gotta fix it.
I don't know.
So.
[Devin] So we're just gonna be
without our stuff all of Christmas.
Yes, I mean, we've got
some stuff in the car.
We've got the decorations from.
[Devin] Yeah, but what
are we gonna do tonight,
just sleep on the ground?
No.
Sleeping bags.
- Oh my God, I love you.
- It's only a couple days.
[Devin] I'm not sleeping on the floor.
There's not even carpet.
- Okay.
- Like,
pitch a tent in the living room.
How about I run to the store
and get one of those
luxury air mattresses,
how's that sound?
[Devin] That sounds wonderful.
And you can also maybe grab dinner.
That would be awesome.
- Sure.
- Yeah.
Love you honey.
- Love you too.
- Love you.
Merry Christmas.
Okay, okay, so as you saw,
Ian is not in a good mood.
So I thought maybe you can
put up some Christmas stuff.
We grabbed some things from
storage before we left.
So our car is full of
kind of useless shit,
which is awkward because our
other stuff's not here yet.
But that's okay, because
we have a Christmas tree
and we have little red balls,
and we have 2.99 candy canes.
And I think when he sees this, ta-da,
I think it might cheer
up his grinchy attitude.
We don't have the star, but that's okay
'cause he has a Christmas angel in me.
But my mom did send us
with some ornaments.
So let's see.
We have the angel from my grandma's house,
my favorite ornament and
my first ornament ever.
So I'll throw those up too.
And yeah, I think it'll.
Ian?
(gentle music)
Are you fucking with me?
(gentle music)
What the fuck?
(gentle music)
What?
(gentle music)
Okay.
(gentle music)
Wait, what?
(gentle music)
Okay, I gotta set the camera down.
So I think we found
where it's coming from.
(gentle music)
Let's see.
(gentle music)
Oh.
Okay, cool.
Oh yeah, here we go.
Oh, okay.
You're kind of cool.
This is tight, okay, cool.
Okay, so we got the box of
old Christmas shit to add.
We got the Nutcracker, Santa
candles, we got musical Santa,
more Santa candles, just
more shit, you know.
So it's gonna be more for the tree.
(bell ringing)
Merry Christmas.
(bell ringing)
Oh.
Merry Christmas.
Hi, look.
Merry Christmas.
Wow, and you're filming me.
[Devin] Do you like what I did?
Yeah, it looks, yes
looks good, looks good.
I got the pizza.
[Devin] Okay.
- And.
- How you doing?
- Good, good.
- Okay.
I'm gonna get the air mattress.
[Devin] Okay.
It looks really good.
[Devin] Thanks.
(Devin laughing)
[Ian] Okay.
Here we are.
Here we are.
[Ian] Where are we?
- We are in the cabin room.
- Yes.
The cabin room.
The cabin room.
With our luxury air mattress.
[Ian] Mm, looks cozy.
Very cozy, very tall.
We got our sleeping bags, we've
got our makeshift pillows.
[Ian] Yeah, sorry, I forgot about those.
(laughing)
It's okay.
Yeah, I mean, it's cozy.
[Ian] Is there room for me?
You can have this side.
[Ian] Okay.
(both laughing)
No, come cuddle.
[Ian] Oh.
[Devin] Come on over.
You got it, I'm coming.
Ooh.
Mm, nice.
This is nice.
Very nice.
Very cozy.
Okay, Sir.
What?
- That needs to.
- What?
Be off.
It is.
The red light's on.
That's the battery.
Go turn it off.
Oh, okay.
(both laughing)
Oh my God.
Okay.
(video disturbance)
Okay, I'm gonna go find Devin.
I think she's fucking with me.
Or she's gone back to Colorado.
Okay, what the fuck?
Devin.
Devin, what are you doing?
Devin?
(bell ringing)
Okay.
(bell ringing)
Hey, Devin.
(bell ringing)
Hello.
What?
Devin.
Devin.
(Ian gasping)
(gentle music)
(Ian exhaling)
Okay.
(gentle music)
What the fuck?
(gentle music)
Okay.
(gentle music)
Okay.
(gentle music)
What the fuck?
Shit.
What the fuck?
(gentle music)
What the fuck are these?
(Ian gasping)
Okay, Devin, what the fuck is?
Devin.
Hey.
Hey Devin.
(gasping)
Hey, hey, it's okay.
It's okay.
What the fuck?
(gentle music)
- Hey.
- No.
- Devin.
- Nope.
- Hey, hey.
- No, that's weird.
[Ian] I know.
Turn it off.
(video disturbance)
Look, I know that was scary.
Yeah.
I'm sure there is some logical
explanation for all of it.
We can't stay here.
We have to stay here.
No, we could,
we could drive home.
No, we're not driving
back to Colorado, Devin,
we just got here.
You know what, why don't
we give it the day?
You know, I'm sure everything's fine.
It's just a freak thing that happened.
It was scary.
I mean, the candles were on.
I was sleepwalking, I've never slept walk.
I know.
Maybe it's 'cause you're tired.
I mean, we were in the car for so long.
You barely slept on that trip, so,
I'm sure it's just
something's outta whack.
Maybe we could call
somebody to come and like.
- I don't think.
- Cleanse it.
Or look around or.
No, that stuff's bullshit.
Come on, honey, this,
it's Christmas Eve, all right.
Why don't we just try
to enjoy the holiday?
Can we try?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right, were we are, the
great Christmas Eve chaos.
Ladies and gentlemen,
these flew, did they not?
Oh my God, we left these
candles burning, holy shit.
(Ian laughing)
Burn the house down on day one.
Awesome, all right.
Well, let's try to clean
up before Devin comes out.
Jingle bells, baby.
[Devin] Hey.
Hey, morning.
[Devin] Morning.
Just trying to clean up.
Yeah, geez.
Bit of a mess.
Stop.
What, what?
What?
- Ian.
This is grandma's ornament.
The one that mom sent with us
for our first Christmas here.
Oh fuck.
- What are we gonna do?
- Sorry, honey.
You know what?
Look, why don't we just,
we can just glue this back together.
- Glue it?
- Yeah, see.
Stop.
We need to call somebody.
To do?
To cleanse or something.
Okay.
You know, I just don't think anybody's
gonna wanna come out on Christmas Eve.
We could look online and see.
Okay.
- Please.
- Yeah, we could.
I came here with you,
can you do this for me?
We came here together.
Yes, but yes, yes, we can find somebody.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
You're fucking filming.
Look, honey, I don't know
what kind of fucking spirit cleanser
we're gonna find on Christmas Eve.
(door knocking)
Hi.
- You rang.
- Welcome.
Hello.
Hello.
Mitch?
No.
No?
No.
[Ian] We called Mitch about the.
Yeah, I know Mitch sent me,
Perry.
- Oh, oh, Perry.
Paranormal Perry.
Do you wanna come inside?
That would be great.
- Okay.
- I can't
find the ghost from here, can I now?
Oh, I'm so sorry, are you okay?
- No, I'm fine.
- Okay.
Come on, come on inside.
Thank you for coming on such short notice.
Yeah, Mitch,
he is away for the holidays, you know.
So when he pinged him on the website,
you know, he contacted me.
Mitch farms out a lot of stuff to me,
Perry, Paranormal Perry.
- Perry.
You are, Devin.
- Devin, Devin.
- Ian?
Ian.
You're Ian.
Okay, got it.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
So again, thank you for
coming on the holiday.
- Yeah.
- Ian had mentioned
that there's, you know,
a lot to look at in here.
- Yeah, if you want to see.
- Do you wanna come with us?
[Ian] Most of what
happened was out here.
What happened in here?
[Ian] Okay, that yeah.
Might wanna get this fixed.
Yeah, yeah we can put that
on the list.
- How long
have you lived here?
We actually.
[Ian] One night.
Yeah.
(both laughing)
- Oh.
- Moving in.
All right, from where?
Denver.
Denver.
Nice.
That's nice at Christmas
time, snow and stuff.
Different in California.
- Okay.
Is something in the wall?
No.
I was just wondering, is this pine or oak?
[Ian] Oh.
So nothing happened in here?
No.
Okay, then we don't need to be in here.
- Oh okay so.
- Just out here.
Oh, there's a room on the right hallway.
Any activity in here?
Banging?
[Ian] No.
Okay.
[Ian] It was in this room,
I found Devin last night.
She was sleepwalking, in the
corner, she had the bell,
she was ringing the bell.
Yeah.
[Ian] Yeah, over there.
You see this?
[Ian] What, what?
It's got two.
So this ornament,
my grandmother gave me when I was a child,
my first ornament.
- Okay.
And Ian said he found me
over here, sleepwalking.
[Ian] Yeah, she was ringing
the bell in the corner.
Okay, okay, hold on.
So were you, you were asleep too?
[Ian] Well, I woke up, heard the bell.
Devin wasn't there, so I went to find her.
Found her here with the bell.
- Okay.
What, you had to pee or something?
What woke you up, the bell?
[Ian] The bell.
Okay, okay.
I didn't know if he had like morning wood
or something like that.
A lot of wood in here.
Was she like, eyes closed,
like a kind of a classic sleepwalk?
Like.
- Okay, listen.
No, no, no, no, no, hey.
No.
[Ian] No, it was like
she was just standing there
facing the corner.
Yeah.
And ringing the bell?
[Ian] Ringing the bell, yes.
[Perry] This bell.
[Ian] That bell.
And where was this bell before?
On the Christmas tree, it's an ornament.
So when I was putting some things up,
I put it up there.
And then Ian said I was back here with it.
My nuts.
I got a carb up a little bit.
- Oh, okay.
- Nuts?
No thank you, I'm allergic to almonds.
Well, okay.
I walked here, so.
Yeah.
- You walked here?
- You walked here.
- Yeah.
You know, it's a beautiful day.
California, I walk everywhere.
I don't really drive much anymore.
- Oh.
- Yeah,
I haven't driven for years.
[Ian] Just don't have a car or?
I have a car.
I live in the car.
I'm joking.
(all laughing)
[Ian] Okay.
So this belonged to your family?
Yes, yeah.
You as a kid.
Was it passed down like
a generational thing?
My grandmother gave it
to me when I was young.
It's my first ornament.
My grandmother
loved Christmas.
- That you can remember.
Well, yeah, that I could remember.
So she was ringing it, right Ian?
[Ian] Yeah.
Like a,
was it like a creepy ring, like a?
(bell ringing)
- Yeah, it was.
- Or was it
more like, you know, a festive
like ring in the holiday.
(bell ringing)
(Perry humming)
[Ian] Ah, no.
(bell ringing)
For a sleigh ride together with you
[Ian] No, it's sort
of like the first one.
She wasn't humming the song, right?
[Ian] No, yeah.
I do like that song.
[Ian] It's a good song.
Well, I love caroling, you know,
there's not enough caroling anymore.
Okay, so.
(bell ringing)
It's really beautiful.
Thank you.
I don't think it has anything to do
with what's going on right now though.
- Oh, okay.
- By the way,
are you guys are like
minimalistic type people
or something, I mean?
No, Ian was on the phone yesterday
with the moving company.
[Ian] Yeah, the truck broke
down, they're not gonna be.
Oh, oh.
I'm sorry.
- That's.
- Oh.
- That's okay.
- Everywhere step.
(all laughing)
- Oh, it's okay.
- That's.
- They.
- They were broken.
Yeah.
Oh, and this one too.
This was also for my grandmother.
[Perry] Oh.
And it broke.
Damn.
So first of all, I'm gonna
apologize for the spirits, okay.
[Ian] Thanks.
Or spirit.
First of all, we do not know
what we're dealing with,
so I'm not gonna label anything.
- Okay.
- But,
I do feel for you.
- Thank you.
- Sentimental stuff.
- Yeah, thank you.
- Definitely,
Christmas stuff, right, family.
Ornaments falling,
sleepwalking, ringing a bell.
Yes, and the candles on
the mantle, they lit up
out of nowhere.
- By themselves.
- Yeah, huh?
- It was right here.
Not my first rodeo.
Candles are a big part of spirit contact.
[Ian] Really?
What you've got right now
is a paranormal source of some kind.
Typically this is a form of communication.
They can't talk, they can't
text, they can't email, right.
[Devin] Aha, yeah.
They don't have an
Instagram account, like mine.
'Cause I don't have a website like Mitch,
but I do have ScaryPerry1.
Don't go to ScaryPerry2, okay.
Okay.
And then Paranormal Perry,
that's the guy in Minnesota,
nothing to do with me.
But I do call myself
Paranormal Perry, but.
Okay.
Because that was taken,
I took Scary Perry.
Anything happen here in the fireplace?
Yeah, fuck no.
Help me, I'm trapped.
No, nothing?
[Ian] Nothing.
(Ian laughing)
Because you know, not
so farfetched that a kid
that really wanted something
for Christmas and never got it.
And then one year
he decided to put
himself up in the chimney
and wait for Santa.
Christmas is ruined again.
That could happen.
[Ian] Totally.
Yeah, just, we didn't
hear anything in there.
I guess so.
Okay, yes.
[Ian] So, and yeah,
last night I grabbed my
camera, just for posterity.
So I have it on tape if
you want to check it out.
No, I don't need to see it.
The problem is here,
and I love your camera,
it's a cute little toy,
but it's not professional, right.
And I cannot verify
third party video, okay.
[Ian] Really?
So everything you're
shooting now is like,
hey, that's cool, send it home
to mom for a Christmas video.
But it's not gonna be verifiable, okay.
- Oh okay.
- So,
I'm gonna bring in my stuff,
which is actually Mitch's stuff,
'cause I'm borrowing it
'cause you know mine is
currently in storage unit
until I pay the money to get it released.
But that had nothing to do with me, okay.
- Okay.
- Nothing to do with me.
Well, I'm gonna set up some cameras,
gonna set up some ecto grams,
different light variable,
collector meters,
EKG stuff, you know.
And you'll just be filming all night?
Well, I'm not gonna be here.
Yeah, I'm not gonna stay in this place.
That can be scary.
I'm actually kinda creeped out by spirits.
So I'm gonna go get my gear.
- Okay.
I gotta walk back home.
But some of it's here.
Is it cool if I leave this
stuff right here, right now?
- Yeah, that's fine.
- Totally.
You can leave it here.
- Yeah.
- Great.
[Ian] You got it.
I'll be back in about
45 minutes or two hours.
Do you guys want anything?
Carl's Jr. or Starbucks or
anything, while I'm going?
- No, I think we're good.
- Okay.
- Thanks Perry.
- We appreciate it.
- Cool.
- I will see you.
I'll definitely be back before Christmas.
(all laughing)
[Ian] Great.
I'm gonna make you
guys have a very happy
and Merry Christmas, trust me.
It means a lot to me.
Thank you.
[Ian] Thank you.
Oh, okay.
Thank you.
[Ian] Okay.
(Ian throat clearing)
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh God.
I mean, it's just trash in here.
[Devin] Oh my God.
Hey, what if we just,
I don't know, called
him and called it off?
You wanna get rid of the guy
who's supposed to get rid of the ghosts?
[Devin] Yeah, I just, I don't
think that this is the guy.
I don't think he is the guy.
But his stuff, his
garbage is in our home,
he's gonna come back.
[Devin] I know, but he's just odd.
I don't want him watching us sleep.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, well.
[Devin] Can you just
call him and say like,
there was a miscommunication,
misunderstanding.
We can totally pay him,
but, you know, just not.
Oh man.
Okay, sure.
Oh, Perry, Paranormal Perry.
[Devin] What you doing?
Ah.
I'm just trying to figure out
what to do with this thing.
It's nice pine, but, yeah, we can.
[Devin] What the?
Ho, ho, ho.
- Hello?
- Oh my God.
Oh fuck.
Hey, Perry.
Oh, okay.
Woo, your front door was locked.
Yeah, sorry.
Are you okay?
I'm a little winded.
That was a long run.
It looks like you're
bleeding, you're bleeding.
Huh?
You've got some blood.
Oh, that's nothing.
There was a cat in the storage unit.
Okay.
Hey, did Mitch call you?
No.
Did something happen?
Was there activity here, while I was gone?
- No, no.
- No, no.
[Devin] We were just
talking that maybe, you know,
it just not the greatest time
and we could totally pay you, of course,
for all your trouble.
- Yeah, of course.
Still.
It's the greatest time,
it's Christmas time.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I mean, this is the best time of year.
We gotta do this now, we have activity.
You don't know, this could
come back six months from now,
seven months, and it could be worse.
Right now it's just starting.
This is the best time to do it.
- Okay.
- Right.
Guys, I get it.
I get it, money's tight,
you just bought a house.
I'll tell you what, this one's on me.
Paranormal Perry.
Gift from Paranormal Perry, huh?
- That's very kind you.
- Free.
- That's very kind.
- I'll do this
for free for you guys.
- Yeah, that's kind.
One night.
Put the equipment up,
if I find anything, if we see anything,
we know what we're dealing
with, we get rid of it.
One night.
- Well, with the.
- If nothing, nothing,
I move on.
- Okay.
- Okay.
[Devin] Okay, just,
with the footage, are you,
is it recorded, is it live stream,
what do you do with it?
Oh, no, I don't live stream it.
No, no, we put it on
disks and we review it
and I delete it afterwards
because, we don't have,
disks are expensive,
I don't keep that kind of stuff.
Okay, yeah.
So there, one night, footage goes away.
It's no big deal.
It's no big deal.
- Okay.
- One night.
- One night.
- Sounds good, Perry.
One night.
(both laughing)
Come here.
Oh.
So we're gonna put one this way,
we'll get full coverage, any
activity, it starts rolling.
Awesome.
Any activity.
Master bedroom.
Then put another visual capture
device down the hall here,
catching anything coming this way.
And you're also protected that way.
I'll put another visual capture
device inside the bell room
facing the bell in case
that little tricky spirit
wants start ringing the bell again.
And then in here, our main room,
I think up here in the corner,
we'll have a visual capture
device spraying out this way,
be able to capture any movement here.
(gentle music)
(bell ringing)
(gentle music)
We caught some major spirit activity.
What's that music?
It sounds so familiar.
Oh, it's from the Santa.
So that's not something you're playing?
No, it's from the Santa.
[Ian] Is that one of the
things your mom gave us?
No, it's from the box
of Christmas decorations
I found in the hallway.
[Ian] What?
There was a box that
I found these things
and I put 'em up with our stuff.
[Ian] Yeah, you didn't,
you never told me about that.
Hey, hey, hey, hold on.
You didn't tell me about that either.
So whoa, whoa, whoa.
So some of these ornaments
were actually found in this house already?
Yes.
[Perry] And you placed them up?
Yes.
Did I do something wrong?
You didn't know what you were doing.
I do.
Are any of those found
ornaments in this tree?
No, these are all ours.
The little red balls and the candy canes,
those are from my mom.
Okay, I don't care who gave it to you.
Clear, Nutcracker's clear.
(machine beeping)
Nah, I'm getting a ping,
major ping here on this Santa.
[Devin] What does that mean?
It means we got some activity in there.
And it's like, this thing's popping hot,
I'm gonna tell you right now, 53 over 22.
Ian, you getting that, 53 over 22?
[Ian] Yeah, I got it.
So, yeah, well let's just
get rid of that thing then.
You see this ornament.
This Santa ornament right
here contains a spirit.
It's tethered to the ornament.
It's tethered to the house.
And you placed it up here, right?
So you touched it.
It's actually tethered to you.
Ian, did you touch this?
I think so,
I don't remember.
- Yeah.
Well, it's tethered to you.
Anybody that touches this is tethered to,
do you understand?
[Ian] Yeah, well, then
why'd you pick it up?
Yeah, I probably
shouldn't have done that.
It looks so familiar.
Reminds me of when I was a kid,
we had something very similar.
(gentle music)
Christmas has always been a
little weird with me, you know.
I grew up a little poor
and I was always asking for a motorbike.
(gentle music)
Every year, I never got that motorbike.
Then one year my mom was like,
"I think you're gonna be
really happy this year."
I'm thinking motorbike, right.
It was a train set, a fucking train set.
And I was like, did Dad get this for me?
And she said, "No, your dad left."
(gentle music)
Fucking dad left on Christmas.
So me, I became a dad.
I didn't know if you
knew that I was married,
had two nice kids.
Christmas meant everything
to me because of them.
I swore I was never gonna
let them down on Christmas.
But we're heading to
my mom's Christmas Eve,
running late and my wife's giving me hell.
So yeah, I made a bad decision
because the train was coming,
thought I could make it.
And it clipped, clipped the car,
clipped the car, clipped it,
killed them, killed my wife and kids.
I killed my wife and kids on Christmas.
[Ian] I'm really, really
sorry to hear that, Perry.
That means a lot coming from you, Ian.
Devin, I almost forgot.
I got you a gift.
[Devin] A gift?
Yeah.
Wow Perry.
- Open it.
- You didn't have to.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
I knew how much you loved
your grandmother's ornament,
so I dug in your garbage
and I put it back together.
I didn't know what it looked like before,
so I took some artistic liberty.
It's.
Beautiful, right?
Come here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you both.
It means so much to be here.
[Ian] So, yeah,
so what do you think
about the Santa statue?
I think we're gonna have to
pull that mother freaking
spirit out of there, Ian.
We're gonna summon it,
we're gonna exorcize it,
we're gonna rid it out of this household.
But I can't do it alone,
I'm gonna need both of you.
And I'm serious.
Do you understand?
[Ian] Yes.
We gotta do this.
Otherwise I'm stuck here with you.
I think we got it.
Check it out, my first Pentamist gram.
- Wow, it's.
- Because
we're about to do a Christmas seance.
[Ian] It's not your first
seance though, right, I mean?
No, it's my first Christmas
seance though, yeah.
Is that shocking?
I mean, have you guys done any?
It's Christmas, who would
do a seance on Christmas?
How many times does that come up?
Let's do it.
(fingers snapping)
Devin, I'm gonna need you here at the top.
You get on top.
You get on top.
Ian.
- Yeah.
- You gonna take
the power bottom position down there.
You get on the bottom.
[Ian] All right.
That's good.
Ian is.
- Yeah.
He's got the center.
[Ian] He's in the center, yeah.
- Okay, good.
- That's great.
Francis Ford Coppola out here.
(Perry exhaling)
Ian, can you get the lights.
Okay.
Thank you.
Ooh, it's pretty.
Take my hand.
If you wanna hold Ian's hand, you can.
Good.
Ho.
Ho.
Ho.
Dear spirit please listen to what we say.
We come to you.
What do you want from us?
I know.
(Perry laughing)
Yes, her name is Devin.
No, yes, Ian is her husband, yes.
They're from Denver.
I think they both grew up there, yes.
This is, no, no, this
is not Ian's dream job.
He just came out here and he
can do much better, I agree.
All right, fuck this.
Ian, what are you doing?
You broke the circle.
[Ian] Perry, get the
fuck out of our house.
Ian, you do not, just sit down now.
- What the fuck is that?
- Oh my God.
What is that, Perry?
Get down.
What the fuck
is going on Perry?
- Get down.
Fuck.
[Ian] Devin.
Perry, do something.
Oh.
(gentle music)
[Ian] Oh my God.
Oh my God.
(gentle music)
What the fuck man?
(Ian moaning)
(gentle music)
(video disturbance)
[Geoff] You made it.
How do you guys feel?
Can you please just let us go, please?
- We've had enough.
- Please.
Okay, I'm gonna let you go.
But I have one more surprise.
Rachel, film making, you always
leave the best for last.
Settle in.
All right.
Oh this is beauty.
Those films were not real.
They were not real.
They were very real.
- No, no.
- And our film is very real.
Well guys, it's been a beautiful night.
(Lisa crying)
That's a wrap.
(Santa winding)
(gentle music)
Oh.
Let's get a family photo.
So we'll never forget this night.
On three, ready?
No.
Your best, Happy Christmas
smile to that camera, on three.
One, two, three.
(gentle music)
I love you.
(Eli moaning)
It's okay.
(Eli moaning)
(all crying)
(upbeat music)
Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin, mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
(upbeat music)
Sleep in heavenly peace
(upbeat music)
Silent night, holy night
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing alleluia
Christ the savior is born
(upbeat music)
Christ the savior is born
(upbeat music)
Christ the savior is born
(upbeat music)