The Claire Wizard Thesis (2018) Movie Script

oh my god oh my god
wow wow
wow another fantastic performance
i think everybody can agree on that one
wow wow
all right let's go i like it let's go
for another one no i wouldn't say i'm
comparable to quentin tarantino not yet
but i would very comfortably compare
myself to the likes of wes anderson
something funny david why do you feel
you're awesome this one's level but not
quinton tarantino's well it's all about
the net worth isn't it david
now i went on to google and according to quentin tarantino
has a net worth of 100 million dollars
whilst wes anderson only has 30 mil now
this being my directorial debut
i mean of course i do believe it's going
to make me 30 million or more but
100 million i think it's a bit
unrealistic david
i mean why do you think i'm getting you
to shoot this behind the scenes
it's so when the film is released the
world would know how jacob lewis made
his first masterpiece
and me being the businessman that i am
as well once i release the documentary
commercially i'll make millions of
dollars of that
why not billions of dollars why not
the sky is the limit the blair beach
project was made on a budget of twenty
thousand dollars
and we all know how much money that made
no idea
we'll have a guess just tell me how much
money it made
it made close to 250 million dollars
so let me get this straight you're
making a film
exactly the same as the blair witch
project and you're expecting to make
just as much money
yes okay let's set aside the stupidity
in your logic for a second why aren't
you making a film like paranormal
activity which also made a lot of money
paranormal activity david paranormal
activity made
200 million dollars and trust me mate
there's a lot i could do with that extra
so your film's title is the claire
wizard thesis you know it is
why well let's see
i've replaced project for thesis just to
up the stakes a little bit
these students are making some shitty
midgear project no
this is their end of semester thesis and
i've obviously replaced
twitch for wizard because well everyone
knows wizards are far more powerful
what makes you think wizards are more
powerful than witches well we saw harry
potter together didn't we david
i think you recall at the beginning of
that film hagrid says to the main
you're a wizard harry he called harry a
wizard because he's a male
hermione's a witch and she's a badass
are you seriously comparing hermione
[] granger
to the boy who lived plus claire's a
girl's name claire the wizard
yeah and blair's a guy's name still got
caught a witch didn't he i'm []
with people right from the get-go just
like the people who made the blair witch
oh how completely a witch i can clear be
a wizard
shut up david this morning one of our
stars the young and handsome diego
acosta has arrived on set after flying
straight in
from bordeaux in france
ah good morning mr acosta stop right
look at me just as handsome as the
photos put that down um
come with me
hey there quartz what are you doing on
the film set
hey david oh hi i'm claudia stewart and
i'm doing makeup for the cast
also my cute little cousin i'm not
little anymore david
i know i know i'm just teasing so how's
doing makeup for the cast like
it's amazing i'm so excited to be
working with sophie anderson
she doesn't even need makeup that girl's
so perfect already i've loved her ever
since i saw on home and away four years
i haven't really heard of her before
today has she done much aside from her
i don't think so well is she a good
um let's find out shall we
could you cry for me what
i'm just filming a behind-the-scenes
documentary for my little bro
who's your little brother jacob the
oh yeah yeah so i just wanted to
show the world what a great actor you
are in this documentary
sorry who are you again seriously i said
sorry didn't i
there are eight people on this set
including you it can't be that hard to
remember seven people
um what's going on here
is everything all right sophie david's
not um
bothering you you see a little what
dave come here follow me
i want you to shoot this documentary
without upsetting
[] talent okay this isn't
this isn't today tonight we're not
probing our actors on whether or not
they can actually act
so she can't actually act what
is sophie anderson a good actor
okay so now i'd like to obviously
introduce the actors for the film
um so first off we have the lovely
sophie anderson
what a comfortable what a comfortable
and um moving on we have diego acosta
great to have you on board diego and uh
young samuel weaver that's our final
he's not your best mate no he's an actor
yeah i'm not really an actor hey um
jacob was like yeah i'm making a movie
and i was like can i be in it
and he's like you can taterly be in the
movie g
yeah oh that's how i got the power i
you want some weight man okay so
diego you're walking in front of sophie
all right she's gonna be holding the
camera there we go
and uh you're hearing noises hearing
rustling in the bushes and you're scared
you're very scared
because you've constantly been hearing
these noises in the forest
okay and that's what i want you to stare
at sophie so
bright beautiful eyes and uh deliver the
that i've written for you
do you understand okay all right all
right good we're gonna go for a take
ready for a take
all right we're gonna go for a take
everyone back away going for a take show
me what you've got diego
and action
cut oh not meant to be giving us your
blue steel
here diego okay we're not making the
next buddy zoolander
i want you to be scared no scared
scared do you understand what comprende
on the scared comprende we
sophie excellent
no truly honestly remarkable with that
camera if i could just uh come down for
what's it up with me feel free to just
you know check it out anymore you know
just keep it shaky with it just shake it
around check a little bit faster all
because remember we're showing the
audience how scared you are how
disoriented you are so just
i don't know have fun with it all right
let's go for another take
okay remember here diego i want you to
be scared mate
just as scared as that [] photo was
when he was trapped in shitlob's lair
yeah maybe not maybe not that scared
maybe not that's good
all right let's do it scene 24 take two
we're losing light so probably just wrap
it up
rub it up there for now what about diego
and his lack
of acting ability do you think that
might be a problem
we'll fix it up in post can any of your
actors act
check excuse me i'm just
asking a question for the documentary
yeah well that's a stupid question
david so how about you ask better
questions okay why
did you choose actors that can't
actually act
hello i'm french model from france
so you're french but your name sounds
spanish owie my father is uh from spain
my mother she's
from france i love australia it is a
beautiful country
what made you get into acting diego
i love the acting i'm very good at this
i love it very much i love have you
attended drama school before
diego acosta pasta a name synonymous
with success in the modeling world
having previously modeled the likes of
dolce gabbana
calvin klein armani prada and being a
regular on the front cover of vogue
diego acosta bought the modeling world
to its knees
after he grew his hair long lost some
weight had plastic surgery to completely
alter his face and changed his height
from 172 centimeters
to 182 after leg extension
surgery now following the likes of corey
kate upton and jamie dornan diego costa
is looking to get into the film industry
well i've chosen diego acosta to be the
eye candy of the film of course somebody
for the females to look at
and uh swoon over if you will
he later acts as sophie anderson's love
interest before he's
very violently killed off do you think
it matters that he's never been to drama
school and can't act
whatsoever so what do you
think of diego acosta did you know i was
among his first 10 000 followers on
you know i've even got a screenshot to
prove it to you
now he's got like a million
what do you think of diego acosta
i don't know he's good looking i guess
i just need him to be able to act well
the character he's portraying was
written to have a complex relationship
with his father
before the events occurring in the film
diego just
really needs to bring that out on screen
i don't know as long as it's not as bad
as wise does the room
i'll be happy sure i don't actually
think i've introduced myself by the way
i'm david lewis i'm
jacob's older brother i'm filming the
behind the scenes documentary
don't know you are did he mention me to
yeah yeah he filled me on and everything
did he mention me to you by any chance
no he didn't
speaking of sophie i need to ask her
about her thoughts on
diego do you mind if we continue this a
little later yeah yeah
thanks yeah of course go ahead
so i need to replace the batteries for
this thing but i can't seem to find my
anywhere has anyone seen video camera
batteries around
anyone oh yeah i've got some b-line
batteries for you g
what like video camera batteries yeah
for this specific camera yeah
why do you carry video camera batteries
around with you a lot of people do
but also because i stole the batteries
at your bags
i've been trying to sell them the red
hot wait what yeah
so i was wondering would you like to
purchase these batteries for your video
camera sir
and we are back
sophie anderson mr director
oh my god your abs are so amazing
diego you are amazing
sophie i just wanted to tell you about
not to worry about my brother he's an
doesn't know anything about film you are
an absolutely
incredible actress yeah i'm sorry about
my little tantrum don't even apologize
i'm the director yeah and i've actually
decided i'm going to cast you in my
next feature it's my lead actress i
can't wait for that
really no can i what can i
just remember for next time gorgeous
the wolf doesn't concern herself for the
opinion of
sheep right
that little [] so it's the morning
of the fifth
day let's see what today holds
action but does not understand me
it's going to be okay we're all going to
there for you me us three
young filmmakers and us
strange isolated forests
will stick together becoming even closer
companions while documenting
the clear wizard for our in the year
thus us thank you samwell
you know to say always what to say
cut why is diego shirtless in that scene
well it's all part of his contract isn't
it david you see
for every 600 seconds of film diego has
to take his shirt off
i mean what's the point of hiring a guy
with a good body if we're not going to
show it off every 10 minutes
now this is going to help with female
female distributors and i guess female
audiences in general i mean
look at magic mike right that was a film
about a bunch of shirtless guys and that
went on to make around 25 times its
i've worked out the formula you know get
the women wet
and you'll get millions of dollars
any other silly questions david um
do you think an australian audience
would be able to relate to a film where
two of the characters speak english and
heavy accents
what do you think an australian audience
would be able to relate to a film where
two of the characters speak english and
heavy accents
but i it it's really only diego with the
accent isn't it
[] you david i'm fighting against
whitewashing in australian cinema that's
what i'm doing samuel's still
white i cast samuel in that role because
he suits the character well
okay he's not even acting he's being
isn't he you see samuel's character is
the proactive one
out of the group kind of the group
leader with a strong voice and a
powerful stance on things
in fact the only reason he dies before
sophie in the film is because he saves
her life
yes an incredibly courageous act from a
rather brave
brave individual what the [] what the
oh it's all buggers i think there's a
bug on me
oh it's just a leaf sammy
hey where's sophie she's off this ridge
uh no you're right uh lois
i will check up on her lucy uh when ali
shows us in
um in a bit diego we'll just relax a bit
mate we'll get there in a bit
uh sophie are you in there love
all right yeah i'm coming out now how
are you take your time you're a
superstar you deserve
all the time you need of course
there she is
claudia this is sophie anderson of
course she doesn't need a thing
all right all right so we're going to uh
move on from that scene i'm going to
reveal that the rustling
in the bushes that you heard before
diego is just a passerby
in the old forest and that's going to be
this guy right here oh extra
hi guys hello
shut your mouth please all right any
questions from my stars diego sophie
anything that i need to
we i'll do as a scene okay what do you
mean by that
i do the same as before no
no we just i just said what we did you
not hear what i just said
uh compromise
what the [] you saying i i do not
understand english well
does anybody understand was it french
french on this set anybody i know quite
a bit not you
not a word out of you put your hand down
does anybody else understand french i
i know french not you diego
i studied acting at screamwise i did
some short courses at nighter too
got involved in a theater production
earlier this year actually
i absolutely love singing musical
theater is definitely a forte of mine
would you like to hear me sing something
that won't be necessary
sing once really bad
we don't need
what would you say is your favorite
thing about acting
i i love getting into a character
seeing the world through his eyes really
morphing myself into him
yeah what's your favorite aspect about
um i think i'd have to be when the movie
or show comes out
and i get to watch myself and like see
how good i look
what do you love about acting oh we i
love it
so do you have a name jacob said i can't
tell anybody my name
why just so i don't make a connection
with anyone
and what's wrong with that well just in
case i make a mistake or
sophie wants to sleep with me and have
nothing to do with me afterwards
i can be replaced easier without anyone
caring that's what jacob told me
don't really think there's anyone to
replace you man
we'll just move on we'll move on
sophie now when i call action i want you
back right away from diego that's when
the extra will emerge from the bushes
and he will probably just wave at you
maybe give you a little bit of a smile
why wouldn't he be smiling at you right
um and then we'll just shoot the rest of
the scene i guess it's all pretty much
very simple
got it sir
this is my first experience in a film
and i really want to learn what the
process is like who knows
maybe in 10 years time as i'm working
alongside some of the greatest actors
currently in the industry
i could be like started from the bottom
now we're here
who would you say is your favorite actor
at the moment
that's a tough one who would you say is
your favorite actor
myself duh
who's your favorite actor mate oh old
margot robbie
she's a solid nine yeah she's mean ass
that's a tough one what genre are we
talking here
all right and action did you ever sophie
cut cut oh
there you go please diego
please okay you don't say anything in
this scene
nothing nothing did your sophie no you
don't say okay well the line is did you
hear that sophie okay and no you don't
say it
not now okay no say no
no say no say
zip it up lock it here it goes
no say
okay this is scene 25 take two
yep action
sorry about the disturbance you folk
have a good day now
cut that cut
what was that did you just try to uh
snake in a line on me trying to raise
your credit
from an extra to a big part is that what
that was oh sorry i just
felt it'd be more natural if i were to
say something after i frightened them
and what would you know you're just the
extra aren't you
i wrote this film i spent six months
working on it
and i'm not gonna have it ruined by you
you nothing that's what you are you know
you're nothing you're a nobody do you
get that i
don't understand what don't you
understand chill out a bit bro
not now david this extra needs to learn
his place
now tell me what exactly don't you
well i don't understand what my
character's journey is here
what is his motivation
what well i'm walking past the three
lead characters i
i just want to know what my goal is like
what was i doing in the woods in the
first place
was i collecting wood was i game hunting
was it something more sinister have i
just killed somebody and dumped their
body in the forest
i just want to know more about my
character does he have a family
what's his temperament what are his
hobbies and interests
you are in this film for literally two
okay you have no character you have no
you have no journey and you certainly
have no lines
you're in and you're out okay now don't
you try to pull a ricky gervais in the
tv series extras on me
do i look like ben stiller to you i'm
jacob lewis
i'm not the kind of director that will
put up with those shenanigans
or ricky gervais's shenanigans for that
matter although i would say if ricky
gervais was in my movie
you'd probably get a line wouldn't he
yeah i understand but it just doesn't
okay stop just one
let me just get this right is this some
on a film set trying to give advice to a
to an author to an artiste
am i getting that right no
good good
i don't want another word from you
yes sir
i'm going for another take sometimes you
have to be tough
on your cast and crew i mean as a
you have to be prepared to assert your
authority on all matters
you're a dick well i'm sure that's what
they said about michael bay
you're not michael bay that's right i'm
i'm jacob [] lewis
i named you all bloody we'll remember
you because [] is where i live
you've been there
i lived there oh true i was born there
jealous when sophie talks to diego oh my
god not at all
can you imagine the children they'd have
i'm sacrificing myself for the
betterment of mankind
you're so cute diego you desired no
what are you talking to oh i'm just
teaching diego some words in english
and where's my little brother at um i
think he's with samuel
action hello there my name is lucy crew
i'm part of the crew and i
basically do everything jacob asked me
to do
so when i stand what should my stance be
why i uphold myself what's that a
particular message to the audience
am i bent over and submissive or do i
stand straight and tall
perhaps indicating an impression of
lucy could you uh take care of the extra
point please i can't uh
deal with him right now yeah thanks
yeah so what would you say your practice
like uh well personally i say
he should be a little hunched over he's
he's still a strong man
but the world's definitely worn him down
yeah that's really interesting okay okay
so you're kind of the
assistant director yeah yep that's me
and runner producer sound person
light person script editor production
and i've done a first aid course too so
i'm the medic too
oh you're definitely doing your bit oh
well you know
i can only do my best my father
bankrolled this film
so i get my first soundy credit under
feature production
some people get bankrolled to be
producers or
directors but not me no
no i'm soundy going through
you know just holding that boom mic
capturing clean crisp
sound well it
sounds like sound is something that's
very important to you
so how do you know my brother jacob oh i
met him at my first year of film school
he found my last name really funny so he
kept in contact what's so funny about
your last name
we know i work in the crew
and my last name's crew so he likes
joking about that
i brought the feed thanks lucy crew
the crew members
what are we laughing at
so you and my brother get along yeah of
course we do
you don't find him you know a little bit
of a prick
no way no i love jacob
he's got a thing for him don't you no
no no
i look i
don't even know where you go look
no uh i
we definitely have as
some sort of synergy but
you know that's work chemistry
work and play keep them
i knew it oh can you please
not tell him look he sees me as like a
little pet not as a love interest i'm
gonna tell him now jack
got something to tell you man so we
finally wrapped up filming
for today very excited
very happy with the progress i think uh
we'll keep going at this rate and we'll
be done by midday tomorrow
when and where is the bus picking us up
five pm i taught him 3 30 we'll finalize
that'll give us about an hour and a half
to uh eat the food pack the gear up
and as to where just by the tents
how's he gonna get there well he has a
map of the area david
plus we're not too far from here he
initially dropped us off are we
good because i can't wait to get home
well that's a shame because we're not
going home are we david we still have
filming to do in other locations and uh
you know this
[] that once we're done filming in the
forest i'm done filming
this [] there's already enough here
for you to release commercially
make your billions from it
didn't you have something you wanted to
tell me
i need to chuck a leak a bit of taco
gold right there jacob
who's that
what the [] is that
who are you i'm sophie
sophie who sophie anderson the actress
you're not sophia i miss it as i just
said i am
no way look could you
just do me a favor and not tell jacob
that you've seen me like this you know
without makeup no [] way could you
please just stop recording me david
jesus christ so
now we head into our final day of
filming in this particular location
of course really really excited to be
getting out of this jungle
of course then we move into town
interview some of the actors there about
the claire wizard and its sightings
that's going to be fun
you know david i think doing all of this
especially as part of my directorial
it's really going to attract the right
reviews not just from reviewers
also for my fellow creators i think i
finally get to see my creative genius
have mini glitter like how an explorer
stumbles upon a diamond amongst these uh
very puffy
david david
filter i think you would look really
really good with the golden butterflies
are you seriously looking at sophie
anderson right now
film the bloody interview mate what am i
paying you for shut up jacob you're not
even paying me
samuel samuel
i just want to ask you a question mate
samuel can i ask you a question
okay so would you say you've learned
anything from this whole experience
and another thing do you think acting
something that you continue doing
hey sami do you want me to go get the
gosh i love you semi-gay can i stop you
stick again
no one is stuck with duck
at the same time
so it appears that david my brother mind
has been quite fixated on sophie
anderson today
and yeah i told him i didn't think it
would work out i just don't think we
have the same
spark we used to you know i mean he
doesn't even like and comment on all my
selfies on instagram anymore
are you serious i can't [] believe
he's doing this to me
he should know that only i have
permission to look at sophie
me and no one else
kind of glad he's leaving after today
we won't have to be there to see me
getting with her probably start crying
like a little baby i'd imagine
probably be like i don't know
what are you doing lucy uh
obviously i'm just uh recording some
extra material for the documentary
extra jazz for the audience to uh enjoy
of course
why don't you say hi lucy crew the crew
member hey
uh you do realize samuel and diego been
waiting the past
30 minutes for you to film their scene
actually samuel's still high
diego i think he still has that
explosive diarrhea
really it's just me waiting for you
well it's not all about you lucy
yes i guess i'll uh return to my movie
uh quite shortly but first
why don't you say hi lucy crew
the crew member
as we near the end would you say you've
learned anything from working with the
director of
the claire wizard thesis oh
well even though i was barely involved
i have to say i've received a wealth of
it's one thing to go to a film school
and learning your craft
are you wasting valuable memory space
interviewing the extra
filming's finished david we're packing
up so
pack your [] up [] i hate you jacob
did you say something david oh nothing
just that i'm gonna stop recording now
okay good a little []
we've been waiting for the bus for over
an hour now
an hour and 23 minutes to be exact
if you want to come to my house and have
like a kind of a bong
and chill do either of you have a phone
that hasn't run out of battery yet
oh yeah i got one door but it ran out of
signal away
claudia don't ask me i ran out of
battery now into the first day
clauds what are you doing
i should be liking instagram photos
right now
and you're sure the driver knows exactly
where he's going to meet us
give me that body hard he's got a map of
the scenario
plus they're not even moving that far
from where he dropped himself in the
first place
what is his lord of the rings we'll
shoot another two movies before he gets
here then what the [] where is he
so i'm guessing the bus driver isn't
does anyone have a torch or something
it's getting kind of scary
i've got a torch
still pretty dark in my end nobody wants
to know
about your end do you think he might
have lost his map
yeah probably why don't we go
to the dirt road he dropped us off at
and see if he's there cause david the
dirt road's a bit far
you said five minutes ago jacob that it
oh did i yes you did
well even if that is the case we don't
have a map of the area though do we so
i've got a map
can anybody understand this map
what what a [] map right now i'm
just shooting your documentary
hey guys i think we should probably get
some rest uh
if i ever wanted an extra to uh tell me
what to do i'd
oh wait i'd never want an extra to tell
me what to do
go stand over there go and stand over
jacob do you have a better suggestion
for what we should do
i think we set up the tents get some
sort this out in the morning
where is he diego what do you mean
what do you mean mate you slept in the
same tent as him and now he's gone okay
so where is he has anyone seen my back i
can't seem to find it
i do not know where is he
where is he that's where i'm asking you
where is he
not now lucy okay not now thank you
what are you doing are you gonna help us
find samuel you're gonna keep recording
us i'm just
doing the job you told me to do jacob
yeah well it's not what i want you doing
right now okay so
okay we're lost to the forest samuel's
missing turn off the camera thank you
fine i will turn off the camera
for now
samuel daniel can you hear us oh my god
i don't like this guy
okay everybody stop stop i'm stopping
me sophie and he's taking me for a
he not right now
i don't want you to worry okay
nothing bad's gonna happen to us we have
each other
you know nothing it's all that it's all
that matters
but we've got samuel we don't even know
where we're going
i would never let anything bad happen to
sophie anderson
um because you know you're in my film
and as the director
i don't want anything bad to happen to
any of my cast
or crew but i am going to need you to
help us to find samuel yeah do you think
i don't know you could call out to
samuel forest
samuel god
it's a good girl samuel
moving on
it's really hard trying to help with the
current situation we're in
without angering the director
um what do you think you're doing
this is a job for the crew what do you
think by helping out behind the scenes
i'd give you a bigger role in the film
you listen to me you
are just the extra
what do you think you're doing it's
planning for the cast and crew to piss
not for you to piss on you're just the
it's a real shame by the way
what do you think you're doing
i don't want you breathing the same air
as me do you understand
do you want to know why you want more
because you're just the extra
could you slow down i just want to
interview you not now all right i have
time for your [] right now no
surely there's always time for a quick
intro you can use this material for the
the documentary my best mate has gone
missing and we are lost
in this forest so i'm sorry if i don't
have time for the documentary
one quick question what why don't you
have to be such a massive dick to the
extra you're not even filming anymore
so hierarchy david i have to keep the
hierarchy in place why
why why are you still filming because i
want to i want to film this []
you know what i don't want you to okay
put the camera down and stop recording
from now on good i didn't want to film
anyway i never
did okay you know what then keep
i don't ever want you to stop filming
you understand me awesome i actually
want to record this [] to show the
world what a [] idiot you are okay
i don't want the world to see that so
let's put the camera away please thank
great just what i wanted all along you
know what i don't want you to get what
you want david
so you keep recording you don't stop
filming until there's no memory left on
that card well that's just awesome isn't
it i'm looking forward to it you little
you remind me of david you mummy of
danny mcbride in the 2013 comedy this is
the end
that's a euro mummy i know who that is i
[] hate you damn little []
my shoe is for forest and is very
that's great to know diego what do you
think about samuel and him not being
here anymore
uh i think very no good samuel no here
would you say you're worried about the
fact that we're lost in a forest
no would you say you're ever worried
about anything
do you know what worried means diego
what did i say about filming you didn't
really make it clear
oh seriously what are we going to spend
the whole day waiting for you lucy
sorry i'm sorry sorry jake
i'm just i haven't even since 4 pm
we finished we finished the water this
morning so
yes we're on the same boat yeah
okay that doesn't give you an excuse if
we wait every five minutes for you we're
not gonna get anywhere today are we
i'm trying yeah we'll try harder okay
because unless you're i don't know will
ferrell until a day good night getting
his legs stabbed
there are no excuses for slowing us down
like this
don't be so selfish
all right we're good to go
hurry up guys
i'm not getting anywhere walked for
i don't know closing an hour now doesn't
seem like we're getting
anywhere but surely if we keep going in
the same direction we'll get somewhere
that's what the people in the blair
witch project said claudia
and i don't know if you remember what
happened to them but they ended up right
back where they started
and then they died they died claudia
that's just a film if we do keep going
in this direction it'll lead to
somewhere promising
i'm not risking a repeat of the player
it's just a film
we'll go back what yeah
just go back the way we can so let me
get this straight oh yeah let's let him
get me finish
you [] you're worried about returning
to where we were before if we continue
walking this direction yeah
well if we go back won't we definitely
return to the same place we were before
i'm the director of this film and i say
we go back to where we came and i'm just
the guy with the common sense saying we
should keep going in the way we're going
he does have a point jacob
shut up claudia
just shut up
you know what we'll do we'll put it to a
vote all right anyone who wishes to side
with the
director of the film can raise their
hands now
diego raise your hand please
diego hand we're raising our hands we're
going back
no diego no don't raise your hand don't
listen to him
diego raise your hand don't be stupid no
one not
raise your hand diego raise your hand
oh never mind well
looks like you may have wanted a line or
two in my next film extra seriously
probably not though
i swear i've seen this tree before
hey did we film at this spot before
jacob comes to find him in the forest
he really just wants to know whatever
you want a couple of waste jacobs
meaning yes i know and doesn't this
place look familiar
he's alright i think yeah we've
definitely been here before
hey hey look don't be upset
look it's not your fault yes it is lucy
this is his fault i need water
there's no water left i reckon we need
to rest a bit
jake jacob do you want to rest for a
okay all right let's put our stuff down
i've got to talk to you
look all i'm saying is give him a break
you know
he's under a lot of stress the only
reason you're defending him is because
you like him the kid's a self-entitled
prick who needs to grow up
he'll break your heart without caring
lucy maybe i like him okay but
just look at him david
look at how distraught he is
do you feel sorry for your own little
i'd feel sorry for him if i didn't
already know how big a [] he is
what are we gonna do i don't know
it's clear we'll never see samuel ever
again come on
don't give up jacob
plus i guess there's no point there's no
point to any of this anymore
lucy i feel like
john malkovich when his son dies and
demanding the iron mask
i feel like how joel schumacher might
feel if he ever had to work with valkyr
i feel like
i feel like jacob lewis
lost in the forest
i just want to get out of here alive and
update my facebook and my instagram and
my twitter
i haven't posted on them for days i
might be losing followers
i don't want to lose followers i want to
gain them
i see something important go ahead diego
i feel it what i mean
what the [] is he trying to say hey
so we're going to set up camp here for
the night
what'd you look at everybody even when
the times get rough
lucy crew the crew member
what are you laughing at
so i don't know what's gonna happen
we've been
without food and water for more than a
day now
kind of craving a chocolate dick shake
burger or ten
hey david yeah claude can i come in yeah
of course
i bought a torch
i'm scared david i'm
scared to close my eyes i'm
scared to open them i'm especially
scared to have my eyes like half open
you know that would combine the fear of
hey claude's easily bright
better than i thought i would
should probably get going
i have something to say
i don't even know if i want to be a
makeup artist
i was thinking maybe becoming a stylist
i like style
or maybe maybe becoming a talent scout
seeing as i basically discovered diego
i don't know i guess i'm saying this
this is it this is
the end and
i just want to be honest with everyone
and myself
yeah guys
i don't think we're going to get out of
so i guess i'll be honest about
something too
i've always liked you ever since we
first met
at film school i felt like we had a real
i don't know i guess i never i never
showed you because
i didn't know how you'd react
but how do you feel
that was really sweet lucy
but uh
i mean let's not kid ourselves right
i'm a film director i'm
way out of your league
i think if anyone on this set is going
to get together it'd be probably
me and sophie anderson
yeah that's not gonna happen um
i think diego is more my type
what are we laughing at
can everyone wait there for a second
we'll see
just don't tell me you told me so i
gonna say that let's see
okay maybe i was but i also wanted to
say something else
what my brother jacob
he doesn't deserve someone like you
he's a massive douchebag and you're
actually a decent
david lucy always you two let's go
just wait a second has anyone seen diego
oh what not diego this can't
seriously be happening now
first samuel now diego
who next diego yeah guys
diego can you hear us are we
where were you uh i was taking []
very big [] we're not
getting anywhere
what do you want david what do you want
from me maybe try and check the map
check the map oh yeah no worries i will
i'll check the map
now seriously i will stop right there
little map this is the one you talking
about obviously
get the camera i want you to show
everybody me checking
the map there it is okay that's what i
of your useless shitty map
oh my god
you need to stop recording and help out
some more do you understand really
they're having an argument you're the
one who got us into this mess and do you
even care
you've been following us around this
whole time recording us like this is
some sort of joke
to you you're a [] director
what'd you call me you heard me no
actually i didn't so
you heard me jacob why on earth would
you call me
jacob lewis a [] director because you
and you're a [] person too
sophie sophie
we're all gonna die
i want to be honest about something
i don't actually look like this
it's all makeup and a bunch of other
i did it to survive in a superficial
this isn't who i truly am no i think i
should show you guys
you look like a completely different
well i just used a compression garment
to hide away my extra flab even your
sounds different but but do you still
want to be with me
so so what
do you still want to be with me jacob
[] no you're ugly as []
i'd rather be with lucy crew than to be
with you
well maybe i don't want to be with you
anymore jacob
lucy what your brother's right
you're a [] person and you're a []
oh snap excuse me
you heard me hi
i see how it is we'll see you know when
i'm making
movies with the greats over in hollywood
we'll see we'll see you two call me a
[] director then
oh was it a [] person as well huh yeah
yeah we will
i mean claudia are you deaf and dumb
the [] do you think
okay i feel like mel gibson in payback
right now
why you are stabbing me in the back like
this this is totally uncalled for
you want to know why jacob because you
need to learn how to respect other
the world doesn't revolve around you
i reckon babe is this even real
those are some trendy shirts where have
you even been
probably [] []
hey that's my shirt that's also my shirt
and they're barely putting in a pinky
who is that guy oh this is ronnie
we're just being here high and drunk and
stuff you know
afl's we have been scouring
the entire forest looking for you
no phones no water no food
we almost died you know though oh chill
out bros
it's only gone all day where have you
been sammy
i just at the convenience store getting
a feed and some soft drinks
what there's a town yeah it's just
around the block
evening fellas lovely evening cheers
well uh things did not go quite as
planned for my first
film so ever since i've been doing some
research on other films to imitate and
the brothers mcmullen by edward burns
seems to be quite the option
i mean while that film didn't make
anywhere near as much money as the blue
[] project i
i do think a comedy drama will be easier
for me to make
seeing as i am not much people know this
quite the comedian myself plus 10 and a
half million isn't a bad amount to make
in the box office from a 25 000
budget nothing to write home about of
course but
uh yeah still still a fair sum
now i was also thinking of uh starring
in the film myself
just as edward burns did it's me just uh
taking a page from the book of the old
what i call him sophie anderson won't be
returning to the cast that's for sure
but i didn't mind diego him and i could
definitely play the mcmullen brothers as
as could samuel as well the free
mcmullen brothers
yeah things are things are definitely
looking up
for me anyway
now i think the uh main reason why the
claire wizard didn't go to
it's a plan exactly is because well not
many people know this but
i had to do most of the work behind the
scenes a lot of responsibility fell on
my shoulders and
lucy crew well she's probably gonna need
to be replaced or i'll pick up a game a
bit i wouldn't mind that
improve her attitude of course
lucy crew not a professional that one
i just feel like she didn't do enough
you know i mean
there's no two ways about it really
and uh just because the film credits say
one thing i mean
doesn't necessarily make them correct
everybody knows this well everybody in
the industry
will know this of course don't they
hello hello is this the extra from the
clearwizard thesis
yes speaking hey hey this is martin
goldstein from universal do you have a
minute uh
yeah sure well i watch the clear wizard
thesis and i must say it's the worst
film i've ever seen
now i mean i was stabbing myself in the
eyeballs that's how bad it was
however in saying that you played your
role of pacifying fathers perfectly
you presented him to be a strong man yet
still somehow
showing that the world has won him down
i really appreciate it
i mean the whole audience appreciated it
in fact it was the only piece of good
acting throughout the entire film
now i've watched a film with hugh
jackman and he says there's a support
role in his next project that you'd just
be perfect for
would you like to meet us in the
producers in l.a sometime next week
yeah that'll be perfect that's amazing
that that's just amazing we'll book
flights and accommodation for you as
soon as possible
thank you so much
but you gotta put the work in if you
really want it all yeah
stepping up
got three ladies by my side and a little
bit of weed to light
everything's good everything is all
i've been high all day long and i'll
probably stay
high all night everything is good
everything is off
oh yeah
yeah yeah yeah