The Con Artist (2010) Movie Script
(Instrumental)
(Bell ringing)
("Brother Down"
by Sam Roberts)
I can see
(Car horn honking)
[Man 1]: Two pairs of socks,
that's the key.
[Man 2]: Key to what?
- Key to staying fresh...
and feeling good, you know?
What you do is
you keep an extra pair of socks...
in your pocket,
one in your lunch pail.
Around 2:00, 3:00 o'clock
in the afternoon...
you slap those
bad boys on,
bam, you feel like
a million bucks.
- I'll have to remember that.
- Yeah.
I hope you don't mind
our first meeting
being down here whilst
I'm taking a walk.
No, it's no problem.
(Sigh)
You looking for a job?
Yeah, I'm getting something lined up.
Oh, really? That's good.
What you got?
- Uh, body work.
- Nice.
You know, I'm gonna need
to see your pay stubs...
on a regular basis.
You can have some
alcohol, but no drugs.
We do random
drug testing.
And you know about
the travel restrictions?
Yeah, yeah,
I'm not going anywhere.
And you know the
number one thing
that makes all parolees
go back to jail?
- Not enough socks?
- No.
Stay away
from all known felons...
and former
criminal associates.
If I find you break
that condition,
you go directly
back to jail.
You do not
pass go.
You do not collect 200 dollars.
Am I clear?
- Yeah, crystal.
- Good.
You know, Vince,
I'm gonna be watching you.
I'm looking out for you, man,
I got your back.
- Lucky me.
- Ha!
[Man]: I sent you guys out
to do an easy job.
What the fuck
happened to you?
Couldn't find Vince?
No, we got him right here.
[Man Muttering]:
Mother of God.
Get him outta there!
Which one of you
did this, you?
You told us
to bring him here.
Not in the trunk, asshole.
Come on in, Vince.
What?
Sit him down.
You don't seem
like yourself, Vince.
And I don't mean
'cause of what these two did to you.
You could always
take a beating,
couldn't you?
Get me a couple of glasses...
and some ice water,
will you?
I invited him
to come see you.
And he declined.
Oh, he declined,
did he?
Yeah, he said,
"No fucking way".
[Man]:
Actually, he said...
that he couldn't.
Well, if that is truly the case,
then you should have
phoned me...
and told me
that he had declined,
and I would have
personally invited him.
I confronted him...
and he told us
to fuck off.
So Dean whacked him
with a tire iron...
and started kicking him
on the ground.
You never learn, do you?
Never, ever learn.
Jackie, take him
to the paint room.
No, Mr. K...
- Shut up, Dean,
- Aah!
you're just gonna make it worse
for yourself.
Fuck, Jackie!
Larry, stay where you are.
(Door opening, closing)
I figured you were gonna
come straight to me.
What were you thinking?
You forget me?
Yeah.
You're my favourite,
you know that?
You should have told that
to the new guy.
Everybody knows.
But Dean's got an inferiority complex.
- I, uh...
- It's true, Larry.
Larry thinks
he's just an asshole.
He's good at his job.
Great.
Not as good as you.
This is my first day out.
I'm not going back to jail.
Not... I mean,
not for you,
not for anybody.
I'm done stealing cars.
You got another way
to pay me back...
the money you owe me?
I gave you five years,
- figured, you know, five...
- You figured wrong.
Drink your water.
It was my money
in that bag...
you threw over that bridge.
You always said
that if we got trapped,
- dump the goods.
- Where it can be recovered.
I was road-blocked
on that bridge.
My money.
I want it back.
The vig on that
starts today.
You got that, Larry?
Yes sir, Mr. Kranski.
I could've been out in two.
Instead, I kept my mouth shut.
Out in two? Yeah.
In a pine box.
You act as if you had a choice.
You didn't have a choice.
You don't have a choice now,
sweetheart.
The Mezalis, the crazy Lithuanians,
they got a ship I gotta fill up
with high-end cars.
You do that,
you pay off your debt.
Need help getting up?
I want you to see Vince home.
And send Dean back in.
I want to see
where he's at.
You're the best car thief
I ever saw.
It's a gift.
Man's got a gift,
he's got a duty to use it.
Use it, Vince,
that's who you are.
I'll open 'em,
I'll start 'em,
but I don't drive 'em.
[Dean]:
Those Mezalis,
they'll feed you
to their dogs, dawg.
- Straight up.
- [Larry]: He's right, you know,
Latvian fucking wolf hounds, Vince.
A lot's changed
since you got sent up.
Mr. K. wants us
to bring you up to speed.
Here to learn, Sensei.
Yeah, that's funny, son.
This shit costs Mr. K. a lotta money.
It comes from the Chinese...
- and the Israelis.
- That's right,
- it's that kosher chow mein shit...
- Dean, Dean,
just shut the fuck up, okay!
So you punch in the VIN,
take the jimmy key,
you put it in the frequency generator,
it changes the code
on the chip inside the key.
- Okay?
- Cool. Cool.
And you think this thing's
faster than me?
- Pss...
- Well, we're gonna find out.
Dean, you take the Benz.
- I'll take that Honda.
- You'll take that Honda?
Yeah, it's man against machine.
(Imitating Schwarzenegger)
Yeah, I'll fight.
I will destroy you.
(Sigh)
Hey, hey,
hey, hey,
just wait a sec.
You ready? Okay.
On your mark...
get set...
go!
19, 45...
6, 18.
All right I got you, jailbait.
Maybe you need to take
your remedial typing class.
- Just let me type, man, just...
- Oh, that's right,
- just let me...
- you dropped outta school in 4th grade.
[Dean]: I went to junior college,
motherfucker.
How you doing over there, Vinnie?
It's like riding a bike...
all the way back to prison.
[Larry]:
He's in.
Yeah, yeah,
he's in, all right,
but he hasn't started
that fucking shit yet.
Maybe you should go check
the VIN again, numb nuts.
(Electronic beeping)
[Vince]:
Come on, baby.
- No! Fucking...
- Nice.
- (Engine ignition)
- [Dean]: That's it, I want a re-do.
- I want a re-do.
- [Larry]: No re-dos.
Larry, you can take that Honda.
Oh sure, I'll get right on that, Vince.
And, Dean, if you can crack that Benz,
drive it to the warehouse.
Man, who made you boss, yo?
Kranski's deal, man.
I open them,
I start them up,
but I don't drive them, all right?
Here.
[Dean]:
Where you going?
Getting the fuck away
from you guys.
[Larry]:
Man, never mind.
Fuck him.
[Kranski]:
I got my best guy back.
You got nothing
to worry about.
It'll be a piece of cake.
Vince, there's a case
of Glenfiddich...
in the storeroom.
- Do you like Glenfiddich?
- Yeah.
Yeah. Bring it out
to Mr. Mezali's car, will you?
This deal is good.
Very good.
Larry, where's my old stuff?
What old stuff?
My stuff, man.
The stuff I was doing out back.
Vince, you're not gonna
start that shit up again, are you?
Oh, I had to toss that, yo.
Look, man, I got some
old titty mags in the can...
if you wanna blow off some steam.
Titty mags.
Thanks, man.
You know, five years' practice,
I think I'm ready
for the real thing.
The boss don't like you...
crowding up his space,
you know that.
Hey, we gotta do some work.
Pick up some Benzos.
You don't wanna end up in there.
(Chuckle)
(Car door closing)
(Engine ignition,
tires squealing)
(Strumming guitars)
Hey.
("Single Fins And Safety Pins"
by Japanese Motors)
Hey, Vince.
What, do you live here now?
Look,
Kranski needs you
to go pick him up.
- All right.
- All right.
- What, right now?
- No, tomorrow morning, Einstein.
Take the Lincoln.
We drop him off,
you pick him up.
You better get
with the program, man,
it'll hurt less.
(Keys jingling)
Here...
this is the address.
Okay.
Okay.
(on radio)
(Horn honking)
Kristen, can you hear me now?
[Kristen On phone]:
Belinda...
- (Static on phone)
- For fuck's sake!
Belinda, I can't hear you.
(Shouting)
Hello?
(On phone)
Hello?
Well, can you find
a better signal?
Oh, sure, why don't I just scale
the fucking CN Tower?
So hard to find
a damn phone that works.
- (Tires screeching)
- (Gasp)
- Be...
- (Crash, hissing on phone)
Belinda?
[Belinda]:
Oh, good God, what the hell?
- (Door slam)
- Hey!
- Trying to get your ass run over, lady?
- Don't you know...
pedestrians have the right of way,
- you dipshit?
- Oh yeah, oh yeah?
- Oh yeah? Since when?
- Just read the traffic book!
Oh, but you probably
can't read, can you?
Goddammit,
look at my car!
Oh yeah,
that's just the front bumper,
it's knocked loose.
That takes about
a half an hour labour, tops.
Give me your information,
tough guy.
You can fantasize
about slapping me around...
when you're asking people
if they want fries with that.
Hello! Insurance!
- License!
- Yeah, yeah, about that.
Could we possibly
maybe do this one off the record?
- Sure. No problem.
- Good.
Is the number for 911
still 9-1-1?
All right.
How about you take this car
to my shop,
I fix it up?
Then you can drive off...
like nothing ever happened.
Why would I do that?
Because, uh...
you know what?
I could drive off right now.
And then what
would you do?
Take down your
license plate number.
All right.
How about I throw in...
a couple of hundred bucks
for your time?
500, it's a deal.
Jesus!
Fine, all right.
Follow me.
[Belinda]:
Well, if I were there,
I wouldn't be here, Kristen!
No, you're gonna
have to get your head...
out of your armpit...
and go down there
and make sure...
they installed it right, Kristen.
- Kristen...
- Yo, yo, miss!
Uh...
Don't... lady...
What is this?
It's none of your business.
Seriously,
who made this?
- (Camera phone clicking)
- Hey, don't do that.
Why, did you steal it?
No. Uh...
It's mine,
I made it.
You made this?
Yeah. What's it to you?
W... I mean, it's good.
Like, really, really good.
Like, in an outsider
kinda way.
Outsider.
Outsider kind
of... insider.
I mean, this is
Red Foot and Klassen.
Now, Red Foot shanked Klassen
in the cafeteria.
Rumour had it...
Klassen had ripped off
Red's meth so...
Are you talking about prison?
Yeah.
Do a lotta people...
get stabbed in the eye
where you work?
I work in
the art world.
People get stabbed
all the time,
just... usually
not in the eye.
I'm a gallerist.
Belinda. Bloome.
Guess that makes me
a guy-a-rist.
(Chuckle)
Cute.
Vince.
Your car.
Your car...
your car's ready.
So, Vince,
what were you in for?
Gee, Miss, uh...
Bloome, uh...
none of your business.
Think you got anymore
Red Foots in you?
That's not really Red Foot
and Klassen,
that's just...
just something I made.
I don't know what it is.
I do.
You know,
I'm hosting a small opening...
at OCAD tomorrow night.
Some very interesting
conceptual pieces.
Well, a few might be
interesting, but...
if you'd like to join us...
Open bar?
Just wine.
You have to bring
your own meth.
(Forced chuckle)
Oh, right,
almost forgot.
Um...
Oh, no, no.
Keep it, forget it,
forget it.
- Don't want it.
- [Kranski]: Vincent!
If you think phoning to say...
that you got waylaid satisfies...
Oh, you did get waylaid.
Uh, so anyway, um...
come on by.
We'll talk.
John Kranski.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
I'm sure it is.
Goodbye to you too.
(Engine ignition)
You been doing
some body work, huh?
Yeah.
Want a piece of advice?
Yeah.
Women with tiny breasts
are better in bed.
- Huh?
- True!
I'll keep that in mind.
Where you going?
Gonna change my socks.
What the fuck, man?
Oh, shit, son.
I'm sorry
I didn't see you there.
No diss, huh?
Yeah, sure,
no diss.
(Rock)
(Brakes squeaking)
(Tires squealing)
Sir, you can't park there.
Careful you don't scratch it, Dorian.
(Chuckle)
- (Mixed quiet chatter)
- (Subdued)
[Man]:
Why am I here?
There's nothing to buy here.
Why'd she bring me here?
Look at this shit.
It's like I'm not here to buy...
Look, back up from this.
This is knitting.
I... I don't collect knitting.
This is... bullshit.
Man, times are hard
on the boulevard.
Kristen, why don't you put down
your Master's degree...
and pick one of these up?
Trays and drinks aren't really
my area of expertise.
Damn,
you have an area
of expertise?
You're good.
(Mixed chatter)
Thank you.
- (Tray clattering)
- Oh, shit!
I mean... thank you.
Drink a lotta those?
(Embarrassed laugh)
I... I wish.
It's... it's the heels.
You should try a pair of these.
Makes your feet smell,
but, uh... very stable.
Good to know.
You know,
for my money,
this is the best piece
in the show.
Not that I have any money.
Neither do I.
Are you an artist?
Oh, no.
No, no, no,
I'm just
looking around.
Hey, it'll mess you up
if I take two?
Are you kidding?
Take all of them.
Less to spill.
Thanks.
Thanks.
"Untitled".
(Disgusted groan)
"Untitled".
I got a title for you:
"Don't Sit Here".
When I met him...
he was nothing more
than a taxidermist...
and now the AGO
is clamouring for these.
I might as well be selling Hummers.
There's not one original voice.
It is like, it's all, uh...
the comic book characters.
- Oh!
- God!
[Various]:
(Shocked gasps)
Look at my fucking jacket!
You stupid...
Not with that.
- Get some club soda.
- [Kristen]: I'm so sorry.
[Man]:
You stupid bitch.
I'm so sorry.
No, no, please. Just don't.
Please, get away from me.
Stop it.
Kristen:
I... I...
Excuse me.
Goddammit...
- You know what?
- What, what?
- Who are you?
- Some people say use club soda,
- Hey, hey, hey!
- but I say fight fire with fire.
Get the... Hey,
Get away from me!
Get your hands off me!
You know what?
You should apologize
to the girl.
You shouldn't call her
a stupid bitch!
I didn't!
I called him a stupid bitch!
- I didn't call her a stupid...
- Who's the stupid bitch?
Vince, let go!
He didn't call me a stupid bitch.
Let go, Vince!
Let go.
You shouldn't call anybody
a stupid bitch.
Julie, I am so,
so sorry.
Hey, Gremlin,
time to go.
- What, not one last drink?
- No.
Do your thing, man.
[Belinda]:
Julie, I'm so sorry,
but I am so glad
that you met him.
Do not let him go.
- Him, who?
- [Belinda]: Vince.
Uh... oh.
- Go... Go. Go.
- Oh!
- What do I do with that?
- Julie, listen.
I have to show you something.
You're gonna love this.
- He is a massive talent.
- I can't put my jacket...
His work is raw...
and he is fresh out of prison.
Like, make it,
uh, big.
Ow, man.
Okay, you earned your pay.
You can let me go now, Dorian.
Come on, I let you look good
in there.
You let me look good?
(Grunting)
- I know it hurts like shit.
- (Gasping)
Don't fight it, man,
(Groaning)
just try and breathe.
- You're gonna be okay.
- (Panting)
- Vince!
- Hope you didn't scratch my car.
[Kristen]:
Wait! Hello.
Hi. I'm Kristen,
Belinda's assistant.
Hey, Kristen,
Belinda's Assistant.
Sorry about the mess.
Oh no, really,
uh... not a problem.
If we could just go back...
- (Engine ignition)
- inside, that'd... would be great.
(Tires squealing)
Give me all your money...
or you're fucking dead.
(Laughing)
I had you shit in your pants, son.
You're fucking
hilarious, Dean.
Check out my new knife, man.
It's a SWAT,
special tactical, man.
I got a bigger one at home,
but this is my new baby.
Yeah, that...
See that?
That's real nice, man.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
The streets are a lot safer...
- with you on them, man.
- That's right.
(Tires squealing effect)
(Alert beeping)
Hey, junk man.
Here.
Don't ever say
I never gave you nothing.
What's this for?
That's your cut.
Cut for what?
Well, you know, that gay shit
you got in the back.
Some blond chick came by
to pick it up...
with a guy in a big truck.
I gotta tell you, man,
that... thing,
it was fucking heavy.
[Dean]:
Yo, Vince,
you bonin' that chick, man?
Man, she's pretty, eh?
(Lips smacking)
I just wanna brush her hair
and shit.
Ah, fuck.
She got the...
with the...
and the...
Fuck, dude.
Yo, fuck you, man!
- Hey, where you going?
- We got a run to do.
For the Mezalis!
(Sigh)
Hey, I've got
to call you back.
- Where is she?
- She in there?
No, she's in a...
Hey, wait!
Come back!
I wouldn't go...
in... there.
Well, don't keep us
in suspense.
Do you like a Brazilian
or a Full Monty?
Where is it?
Took two men to get it here.
[Vince]:
You're lucky you're not a man,
'cause you know what,
you'd be dead right now.
Well, thank God, I'm presenting
evidence to the contrary.
You stole this.
I sold it.
Sold it?
Kristen, go get Vince's cheque.
Fact is, an important collector
just bought it.
He saw that photo of Red Cat
and whatever...
and just got all pant, pant, pant,
"Gotta have it".
Kristen!
Let me get this straight.
You... got...
you got somebody
to give you money for this thing?
How much you sell it for?
Fifteen.
Hundred?
Thousand.
For what, for that?
Yeah.
I just made you a lotta money.
This is for six.
Bloome Gallery
takes 60%.
Without me, you're nothing more
than an ex-con
banging away at a bunch of rusty
old car parts in a low-end garage.
So, why were you in prison?
Grand theft auto.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Stole a few cars.
Got mixed up in some stuff,
you know.
Huh.
Not so sexy.
Okay, let's see,
you're...
an emerging artist...
with a shady criminal past.
Very temperamental.
You did time for a crime...
you don't like to talk about.
And you learned it all
in C Block.
C Block was for
child molesters.
D Block, whatever.
It doesn't matter.
The point is,
it's all in how you sell it.
Art is
whatever people say it is.
Or what other people
tell them it is.
- It can't be that easy.
- It isn't.
That's why we're here.
To promote you
so you can create...
and we can all get rich.
How many more
rich collector friends you got?
How fast do you work?
- Pretty fast.
- Great.
You work fast,
I'll sell fast.
You can expect
to triple your take.
Just don't break any laws.
Kristen will work
on your schedule with you.
Oh, Vince,
you didn't tell me
how it looks.
Looks like you're giving birth
to Hitler.
[Belinda]:
Carmella...!
Can I possibly
get this in cash?
Trouble with the banks?
I can make it out
to cash if that's easier.
No. I can wait.
Oh, hey,
can I get your number?
She's a pit bull,
but she knows
what she's doing.
Pit bulls are sweeter.
Are you gonna be up to this?
Uh-huh.
Because it's gonna get
harder and harder...
and you're gonna have to do it...
again and again...
and again. And...
What?
Did we stray off topic here?
N... no, no.
I'm just trying to say
that you...
I get it.
Can I get your number?
I don't date artists.
Who said I'm an artist?
Strictly business.
- (Ripping)
- Belinda: Ow...!
Strictly business.
Right.
Right.
(Groan, sigh)
[Kranski]:
What're you doing here?
I must have just passed out.
- Doing your crap.
- Yep.
- It's not crap, it's working.
- Ha!
Go get yourself
cleaned up.
I'll take you out
to breakfast.
Then I gotta go
meet my parole officer.
These cards suck.
Don't they always.
Hurry up,
I'm starving.
Any pay stubs for me yet?
Uh, no, you know,
I'm still waiting
for my first cheque.
You know,
they hold them.
Yeah, they do that.
- Body work, right?
- Yeah, body work.
Hey, I, uh...
I got that extra pair of socks.
You know, I put them on
in the afternoon...
and I... I felt like,
a million bucks.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna need some pee.
Where?
In here.
So how's your boss?
He's fine,
I guess.
No, I mean, like,
how is he to work for?
Independent,
franchise,
what's the story?
- Mr. Pogue...
- Mmm-hmm.
I can't do this.
- What?
- I can't pee in this jar right now.
(Sigh)
All right.
- (Clearing throat)
- (Tap squeaking)
Nervous bladder, huh?
Now listen to me, okay?
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
I saw this on TV.
Focus.
Think...
relaxing thoughts.
Let all the tension and stress...
(In East Indian accent)
flow through your body.
Take everything...
and stream it through...
into the central sprinkler system...
that God has given you.
Direct it to the penis...
and let it go.
(Urine trickling)
Huh? What'd I tell you?
- Easy peasy.
- (Tap squeaking)
Ooh...
Cheers.
I'm here to help you, you know.
If there's anything
you ever wanna talk to me about...
I mean, anything.
You know, sometimes
the pressure to backslide...
can be very strong.
Yeah. You don't have to worry
about me, Mr. Pogue.
(Urinal flushing)
(Pop)
Hey... Hey!
That's my car! Hey!
(Cellphone ringing)
Yeah.
Tonight?
Strictly business, right?
(Electronic)
[Kristen]:
What do you think?
What am I doing here?
Belinda wanted you to come.
She's around here somewhere.
Hey, you sell my new thing yet?
Oh, fuck.
I thought you liked it.
No, not that,
it's...
him, my ex
and his arm candy.
He's the reason
I don't date artists.
- Kristen.
- Hey, Carl.
This is Daphne,
- Hey,
how are you?
Uh, congratulations.
- Thank you.
- [Kristen]: Vince, this is Carl.
Carl was the hit
at the Art Frise...
- two years ago.
- Yeah, last summer.
Vince, here is also an artist.
Oh, yeah?
What do you do, Vince?
(In French Accent)
Vincent.
Vincent, Vincent.
Uh, I do...
I do...
It's easier if I show you
what I do.
Oh!
Mmmm...
Hey... Okay,
all right.
Oh...
- Oh, come here.
- Ah!
(Lips smacking)
Oh-h-h...
Carl, me, I'm sorry,
but you know,
my life...
my life is my art.
I cannot control myself.
Mmm! Mmm!
- Mmm! Mmm...
- [Carl]: Hey,
well done, Kristen.
Whatever the fuck
you're into now.
(Humming)
(Laughing)
Did you see the look
on Carl's face?
You should have seen
the look on yours.
Thank you for doing that.
And where did you learn
such French, Monsieur?
I had a cellmate
from Chicoutimi.
So who's the better kisser?
You mean
between the two of them?
No, between the three of us.
I'd have to give that to Carl.
Oh, well,
then things have changed..
because he wasn't that good before.
Maybe we should have
a run-off...
before I award the best prize.
I've got to...
I've got to go.
Hey...
I thought we were
just kidding around.
I... I... I didn't...
I didn't mean...
Oh, God.
Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
- Vince! There you are.
Would you please
come up here?
There's someone
I want you to meet.
Who am I meeting?
Vince, you remember Julian?
The important collector...
who bought your piece?
He bought my piece?
[Julian]: Come here,
you fucking genius, you.
No, y...
you come here,
you man of wealth and taste.
Ah, I...
I love your piece.
- I love it.
- Good.
I love that you love it.
Yeah, come,
come, come, come.
You and I, uh...
we have a long...
No, no, no,
you come,
you come sit with me.
We have a...
a long relationship,
- you and I, artist and collector.
- Mm-hmm.
And I want to talk to you, uh...
about a commission.
Commission?
- What's a commission?
- [Julian]: I... I want you...
to create a piece for me,
personally.
How much we talking here?
Oh, no, no, you don't have to worry
about that.
You let me worry about that.
- Huh.
- He's new at this.
(Stammering)
No, that's... that's good, I like it.
He's direct,
I like that.
Listen, you tell me
what you want,
- I'll make it.
- Fantastic.
- That's, uh...
- We all set up a meeting,
discuss the aesthetic parameters
and that's that. That's it.
- That's it?
- That's it.
- You're very talented.
- Hey...
Thank you.
Come by later
and get your cash.
(Sigh)
Very talented.
Yes, he is.
- (Glasses clink)
- Congratulations.
- Congratulations to you.
- Yeah.
[Kristen On Voice-mail]:
If you're listening to this,
I'm either working
or I ran away from home.
Leave a message. Bye.
(Cellphone ringing)
(Buzzer buzzing)
(Door buzzes)
(Knock on door)
Belinda?
[Belinda]:
In here.
You got a nice place.
See anything you like?
You got a lotta stuff, uh...
Cool stuff, I guess.
Don't guess.
Be a mystery.
I can do that.
Uh, you got my cash?
Boy, you just get right down
to the point, don't you?
Well, you know,
five years in jail,
not much time
left to waste.
It's a real coup,
you know,
Julian commissioning a piece.
Good.
How much?
All in good time, Vince.
Come here.
Let me show you something.
- Hitler?
- (Laugh)
Is that you?
No, no, these, actually.
I thought you'd like them.
So listen...
You want to know
how much you're worth.
You know I don't like you, right?
- Right.
- Okay.
How long has it been?
You mean with girls?
Ambiguity is so hot.
- (Door banging)
- Ohh...!
(Energetic electronic)
(Loud moaning)
(Loud moaning)
Shhhh!
All right, shhh!
[Both]:
(Grunting, moaning)
Oh, God!
(Panting)
(Whispering)
Fucking hell.
You all right?
You sleep with all your artists?
Sleep?
You doze off in the middle there?
I'm glad to hear
you're calling yourself an artist.
I'll be right back.
(Cellphone beeping)
(Beep)
[Kristen On Voicemail]: Hey, it's Kristen.
I think you called.
Sorry I...
I ran out like that tonight.
I just couldn't handle seeing Carl
But, uh, anyway,
hope you made out okay
with Belinda...
and I will see you tomorrow morning
at the gallery.
- Okay, bye.
- (Hang up beep)
Keep it up, Vince.
There's a lot more
where that came from.
(Electric guitar)
- (Horn honking, brakes screeching)
- Hey!
- What the fuck!
- [Kranski]: Get in the car.
You're crazy.
- Get in the car.
- No, you know what?
I think I'm safer walking.
Not with your head down,
you're not.
I give you a job to do...
and you're
strutting around town...
like some kind of gigolo.
Gigolo?
That's an idea.
Don't you play smart with me.
I'm working on paying you off.
What else do you want?
I want you on the job.
I need you sharp...
or I don't need you at all.
Clear?
Crystal.
(Tires squealing)
(Streetcar bell clanging)
Hey.
You called?
You called.
After you.
Yep.
So how'd it go last night?
Belinda said
you were amazing.
Sealing the deal with Julian.
Right. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it went fine.
What are you doing?
Blowing.
It's part of my job.
Wow, you do that very well.
Well, are you ready to go?
Yeah.
This whole shopping idea...
was Belinda's,
by the way.
Why do you put up with her?
Why do you?
Money. Fame.
Chicks.
(Chuckle)
Me too.
(Pop)
[Vince]: I've never been
to a museum before.
[Kristen]: Really?
I think you'll really like it.
- How old?
- When I stole my first car?
- 13.
- 13? Wow.
Yeah, I... I brought it
right back, though.
- Why?
- Why did I bring it back?
No, why did you steal it?
Oh, I just wanted to go
for a joy ride.
How old were you when you stopped
bringing them back?
15. Then I'd bring them up
to this huge field...
and there were so many of them...
it became like a parking lot.
Then this guy
found out about it,
wanted to buy them.
so I sold them all to him.
Took me under his wing,
it became what I did.
I was really good at it.
- You're good at other things, you know.
- Hmm.
I want something large for right...
right here.
I'll show you, here.
(Saw buzzing)
[Vince]:
Julian's piece...
I want 60-40.
Well, that's the quickest
I've ever been fucked.
I doubt it.
50-50.
I can live with it.
(Blow torch crackling)
(Blowing)
(Blow torch crackling)
God, you scared the shit outta me.
Come on.
What are we doing?
A little tour.
I wanna talk to you.
(Sassy rock)
(Engine roaring)
(Tires squealing)
- (Horns honking)
- Hey!
You just ran that light!
Yeah, it's a game I play.
Red light, green light.
Every red light's green.
And the green lights?
Uh, they're green too.
Keeps me sharp.
Hmm. That's good.
You know the key to the game,
the only thing
you have to consider?
Where the nearest hospital is.
Heh, funny.
No, the reaction time
of the other drivers.
You just watch them.
Look!
- (Tires squealing)
- [Vince]: Hey!
(Horns honking)
[Kranski]:
Get a life!
Come on, could we just...
play old-fashioned red light,
green light...
till I get outta the car?
Hey,
did you ever look
at this whole area?
Take a look at it.
It's mine.
After this deal with Mezali,
that's it, I'm out.
So who am I gonna get
to administer things?
I thought Larry was your man.
No, Larry?
No, this needs somebody smart...
to keep it profitable.
You.
You're my heir apparent.
Soon as you pay off
your debt,
the keys to this kingdom are yours.
I'm glad we had this little chat.
Where can I drop you?
Hey, you know what?
I'll tell you what,
I'll buy you a drink.
- [Vince]: No, that's okay, Mr. K.
- (Tires squealing)
It's a little early
in the day for me.
[Kranski]:
No, I insist.
We'll celebrate.
(Horn honking)
Kiss my ass!
- How's it going, Pete?
- Hey.
Heya, buddy.
Some guy's in there,
he brought his car in.
Yeah? So?
What's the problem?
He wants you to fix it.
[Dean]:
Yeah, man, we ain't, like,
sir-fix...
fix-a-lots, yo.
Smells like a cop, Vince.
Why would a cop be here?
Why would a cop be here, man?
Mr. Pogue.
Hey, Vince!
How you doing?
Doing fine.
Hey, listen,
I got this, uh...
squealing in my engine...
and I figured,
what better place to take it to...
than the shop you work at.
Yeah, uh, well,
we just do body work,
so better not.
- Oh, that's cool.
- Yeah, yeah.
Oh, hey, you think
I can get some pee from you?
Oh, yeah.
Listen, I'll take a look,
see what I can do.
(Banging)
Nice touch.
Uh-huh.
So how's things going in here?
Ah, well, you know,
it's a little slow...
with the recession and all,
but, uh...
[Pogue]: Hey, it's hitting everybody,
you know.
You wanna...
you wanna get in...
and start it up there, sir?
Oh yeah, sure.
No problem.
(Engine ignition)
You got the magic touch.
- Hey, hey.
- (Hood slamming)
Just, uh...
just a fan belt,
you know?
No charge.
- No charge?
- No charge, no...
No pee, no charge.
Gotta pee.
No, please.
It's just,
the guys are here,
it's kinda embarrassing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
No problem.
- Thank you.
- Hey, where's your boss?
- I need to talk to him for a minute.
- He's at the lake.
He's a fisherman.
You know, just a...
(Stammering)
and actually, he doesn't come
around here all that much.
He's...
he's hard to catch.
Hey, hard to catch
and he's a fisherman.
- Yeah. Go figure.
- Funny.
I guess I'll give him
a phone call or something?
Yeah. You do that.
Yeah. Good idea, that'd...
that'd be great.
All right,
I'm gonna get outta your hair.
Hey, thanks for that.
- You're welcome.
- You're good.
Thanks a lot.
You keep your nose clean.
I'm watching you.
It's for your own good, Vince.
See you.
[Dean]:
Yo!
What the fuck was that?
Uh, that was, uh...
that was Joe, okay?
He was my bitch in jail.
Joe the bitch in jail?
Joe the bitch.
Joe the bitch...
does not take his car...
- to a fucking place...
- Shut the fuck up!
We got work to do.
You're both a couple of bitches.
Go to work.
[Dean]:
Look at that.
Those Mezalis motherfuckers,
they love those cars.
[Vince]:
Whatever. Let me out.
[Dean]:
Get that shit, son.
- Come on, man, give me the phone.
- (Camera phone clicking)
All right, let's do this.
Wait a second.
(Electronic beeping)
Yo, where...
where you going, man?
Yo, what are you doing
with that thing, man?
I don't want that shit in my car, yo!
Shut the fuck up, Dean.
What are we, garbage men?
Come on, man!
Fuck!
- Key.
- Yeah, here you go,
you garbage-picking motherfucker.
- It doesn't work.
- Well, try it again,
the numbers match.
It doesn't work, Dean.
Here, the window's open.
- Come on, Vince.
- Cops, cops, cops!
- [Vince]: Shut up.
- Go!
(Tires squealing)
(Indistinct chatter
on police radio)
(Engine ignition)
(Sigh)
(Rock)
Vince. Hello, yeah.
You're good.
You need a drink
or something?
Nah, I'm all right.
Great car.
Yeah, it's just my favourite
yellow car.
Yeah.
Let me...
Let me ask you something.
It's a...
personal question, okay?
Have you ever
killed someone?
No, no, no.
I see that in your work.
So you like it?
(Chuckle)
So, how we feeling?
I love this piece.
Well, I think it's disingenuous.
[Julian]:
India.
India, this is Vince.
Vince, India Montkieff,
my wife.
- Vince.
- India's a curator at the Tate, Vince.
Yeah, I asked her
to fly in from London...
to see your work.
How do you say
"disingenuous"?
This piece is fantastic.
No, no, his first
piece I love,
but this one
is derivative.
Derivative?
What do you mean
"derivative"?
This is beautiful.
I love this piece.
Well, if he doesn't hear it
from me...
he'll hear it
from someone else.
I was just trying
to give your husband here...
what he asked for.
Pandering.
Yes, that's the word
I was looking for.
Julian, this...
this piece just marinates...
in its eagerness
to please you.
- Are you done?
- Vince...
'Cause I'm done.
Um, you don't want it,
you don't keep it.
[Julian]:
That's not what I'm saying,
that's what she's saying.
This is my piece.
I love this piece.
Vince, she's only one voice.
Yeah, well, she's...
maybe right.
I've been looking for you.
Why didn't you tell me?
These wonderful people...
celebrating you and your art.
I'm sorry, you are?
John Kranski.
Who the hell is that guy?
I'm his mentor.
I was the first
to recognize his...
extraordinary talent.
[Julian]: So, you have some
of his pieces, yeah?
Oh, I do indeed,
plenty of them.
His early work,
no doubt.
- Yeah.
- [Julian]: So you have...
collected his pieces
since before...
[Kranski]:
He did his stretch inside?
I've owned Vince...
for a very long time.
Mr. K. I was on my way out.
You coming?
[Kranski]: Yeah, if you ever need
any body work done...
on your Spider,
give me a call.
Vince has my number.
Ms. Bloome.
Fucking hell, man!
[Kranski Reading]:
"Ex-con...
muscles his way
into the art world".
Nice write-up.
I hate it
when you hide shit from me.
It makes me very,
very angry.
The two of you get outta here.
What the fuck was that
back there?
I'm selling my stuff.
Your stuff?
What the fuck
are you talking about?
That's my stuff.
It's mine. It's all mine.
Whatever comes out of here...
in whatever shape it's in, is mine.
Listen, I'm just trying
to pay you back.
All right?
All the money I make,
and however I make it,
it's all yours.
You got money and you're keeping it
secret from me?
That's stealing it from me!
All the money is yours.
I promise.
(Laugh)
Yeah...
you promise.
Of course, you promise.
Why wouldn't you promise?
You're a crook.
I'm an artist.
What did you say?
You heard me.
Yeah, I fucking heard you.
You're a thief.
Say it.
Say you're a thief!
I'm an artist.
Thief!
- Artist.
- Thief...
you fuck.
Thief!
(Clicking, whooshing)
- Hey, artist,
- (Whispering) Jesus Christ...
which ear?
- Huh?
- What do you mean which ear?
Van Gogh!
Vincent Van-fucking-Gogh.
Left ear, right?
Left ear?
You're a thief.
You're never gonna steal
from me again.
Say it.
- Say it.
- I'm an artist!
- You're a thief!
- (Screaming)
Oh, no...!
Turn it off.
- Larry.
- (Door opening)
Out back in my cassette box,
there's money.
What I'm really doing,
what I'm trying to do...
is educate you.
Yeah, looky, looky.
Hey.
Take some of that
right there.
Leave it.
Come on.
How's the old man gonna know
if it's short?
That's your genius plan?
How's he gonna know?
Yeah. I mean...
- yeah.
- Kranski's in there...
going helter skelter with Vince,
who he loves,
what do you think
he's gonna do to you?
Come on, man,
let's just take a couple of gees.
He'll never notice.
Just relax, okay.
There's gonna be
a pay day soon...
with the Mezali deal going down,
we gotta pick our moment.
Yeah, we, uh...
got something here, Mr. K.
- 33,000.
- 33.
And with my cut on the cars,
I figure I still owe you 140.
That'll square us.
Yeah.
Untie him.
(Sharp intake
of breath)
Eww...
What's it look like?
It looks like
a Yorkshire pudding.
What's a Yorkshire pudding
look like?
Look in the mirror, man.
(Chains clanging)
Oooh, nasty.
(Knocking on door)
My God, what happened to you?
Did you get in a fight?
Please, come in.
Thanks.
[Kristen]:
This might hurt.
How did this happen?
I dozed off welding.
Really?
That, uh,
Kranski guy is...
He's my boss.
Well, what was he doing at Julian's?
That was just... weird.
He wants to share
in my success.
You did those?
Yeah.
What do you think?
I think they're good.
Well, I am just good enough...
to know
that I'm not good enough.
Hey...
But it's fine.
And I like doing it.
Anyway, I think
really good artists...
are egocentric assholes.
- Oh, thanks.
- And vain enough...
to think
I was talking about you.
You all right?
Yeah.
You know when I was inside,
I used to think about
when I'd get out,
and how I'd do things different.
You know, I mean,
not do things the same way
I used to do them.
But here I am,
back the way I started.
Hey, wanna take off...
and just jump in my car and...
start new lives?
You'll work as a cashier,
I'll work in a factory.
And we could live
in a trailer park...
and have, like,
six Pomeranians.
Those are dogs, right?
But, hey, it's not that bad,
you know.
India chose you...
to create the centrepiece
at Art Frise.
Yeah? What's that?
It's a big group show next week.
Huge artists
from all over,
including her new discoveries.
It's major.
I can't.
This could take you
to a whole new level...
if...
that's what you want.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
[Vince]:
I got it all worked out.
We fill the order
in one night, okay?
There's gonna be over 100 cars
at this event.
We can have our pick.
We're gonna need a bigger crew.
We're gonna need
to move the cars fast,
but there's a huge upside.
We do this right,
they give us the keys,
they don't report
their cars missing...
for two, three hours.
Yeah, and we can exceed the order.
Huh...
I... it's...
it's perfect.
[Vince]:
Oh, yeah.
How do we take
the valet stand?
I'll set it up.
[Dean]:
Yo, I don't know nothing...
about being no valet, man.
Yeah, this is, uh...
beneath us.
I hate to burst your bubble, guys,
but, uh...
there's not much beneath us.
Yeah, except maybe my dick.
(Laughter)
This scheme is really something.
- Thank you.
- What?
- (Louder) The scheme is...
- I'm just joking.
My ear's fine.
And by the way, this,
it, uh...
got my head straight.
- Good.
- Yeah.
No seriously, Mr. K...
thank you.
Okay, thank you.
You can send this one.
Uh-huh,
no problem.
Kristen told me about
this big art show.
I want in.
What happened to your ear?
Burned myself welding.
Bullshit!
Whatever it is you're into,
I want nothing to do with it.
I don't get involved
with criminals.
Oh, I never should've
let you fuck me.
What?
(Huffing)
I... I'm working on this new piece.
It's a large piece.
I think you'll like it.
If it sells at this show, it's...
it's all yours.
This is your last chance.
Okay.
So is Carl better than Belinda?
Come on.
No, you come on.
I'm a big girl.
It didn't mean anything.
Oh well,
it's really not any of my business.
Listen, it was a mistake.
I'm done making mistakes.
Good for you.
Strictly business.
Hey.
How's it going?
Just threw some
shit together.
It's cover, they won't know
the difference.
This thing tonight,
it'll square us?
Yeah.
I want you to know, I mean,
we should talk in private,
in more detail...
but I considered it,
what you suggested.
Thank you.
You know, this is...
this place,
it's, uh...
it's kind of a creation,
you know?
My work, you know,
my life.
I've been thinking...
Me too, a lot.
I couldn't entrust this place...
to anybody else
but you.
Hey.
It's the weirdest feeling.
Yeah.
[Dean]:
Yo, Larry.
[Larry]:
What?
We do him tonight.
- In the middle of the job?
- Mmm-hmm.
Put a bag over his head,
slit his throat,
put him in one of the cars.
They won't find him
till the boat gets to Borat-ville.
'Cause there's
no fucking way
I'm working for an art fag.
(Sigh)
So you with me?
Yeah, sure, I...
I'll back you up.
That's good,
'cause I thought
I was gonna have to do you too.
(Laughing)
- Funny guy.
- (Slurp)
[Man]:
Tracey, two more bottles!
When did this get here?
Where the hell is Vince?
After all the strings
I've pulled for him!
What strings?
I thought India invited him.
Shut up.
Go outside and look for him.
[Vince]:
Look at that.
Guys, all right,
here are the claim checks.
They pull up,
you give it to them, all right?
You drive the cars
around the corner,
come back,
you do it again.
What about the keys?
You leave 'em inside the car.
And smile
for the nice people, okay?
Yeah, act civilized.
I'm gonna go play artist now.
And cute uniforms.
[Dean]:
Faggot.
Oh, hi, there.
(Rock)
Get inside, funny man.
Sweet.
When did you figure us out?
Uh... let's see...
white van wherever I go,
you and me always meeting
out somewhere,
never in the office.
I called Parole Services.
They never heard of a Randall Pogue.
It's too bad
you and your pals...
will all be in jail tonight.
- I don't know about that.
- Really?
I've got enough stuff on tape
to write a book.
Not without my help.
'Cause if I don't
go back out there
and I tell those guys
that everything's cool,
this scam is off...
and you don't get anybody.
You know
we can make you.
Now what're you gonna do?
Are you gonna burn
my other ear?
So what do you want, Vince?
I want what you want.
You know, I want to put
bad guys in jail.
But I want freedom,
I want immunity.
I mean, whatever you call it...
for me.
This only works
if we get them all,
and that includes Kranski.
It's time to figure out
whose side you're on.
Where are you going?
I'll see you at the docks.
- Okay, thanks, guys.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
[Kristen]:
Vince!
(Muttering)
Oh, fuck.
What the hell is going on?
Here for my unveiling!
I just saw you steal
a catering van.
What are you doing?
You have to trust me.
Do I?
Yeah.
Listen, it's all gonna be okay,
all right?
This is, uh...
this is it.
This is my way out.
- Is it legal?
- Uh...
not exactly,
but, uh...
I know what I'm doing.
I know this doesn't
make sense to you,
but it will.
Please,
cover for me, okay?
(Pop)
(Annoyed sigh)
Where is he?
Every critic in the city is here...
and they're staring
at a fucking tarp.
Can't you do anything right?
Actually, I can.
And don't ever talk to me
like that again.
Excuse me?
I said, don't ever fucking talk to me
like that again.
Is that clear?
Crystal clear.
You're fired.
Hmm.
Hey, man, it's getting late,
is that it or what?
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we got all the cars we need.
All right, I'll ride with you then, son.
All right, uh...
I'll, uh...
I'll take this one.
All right,
all right.
Come on,
let's go, boys.
You know what, Dean?
One last car.
- You take that car.
- What the fuck?
- Okay? Come on, Miss Daisy.
- Hilarious.
(Engine ignition)
Vince!
Vince!
(Suspenseful)
I see him.
He must be the
last of the cars.
We don't move until the money
changes hands.
- So?
- Hey. What'd I tell you?
He's a genius, my boy.
It's all in there.
You don't have to count it.
I'll count it in the car.
You guys are good.
Oh yeah.
Lucky you made it,
just in time
to leave tonight.
(Chuckling)
We are now a go.
I repeat, we are a go.
(Sirens blaring)
Shit!
(Sirens wailing,
brakes screeching)
[Pogue]:
Get Mezali!
Fan out!
Find Kranski!
Vince, you're supposed to be
an ex-criminal, you moron.
- (Crack)
- Ugh! Goddammit!
(Sigh)
(Grunt of effort)
(Sirens approaching)
- Come here... Shut up, shut up!
- Oh God!
Watch the face.
You're that art chick...
that Vince has been ballin'.
Where is he?
Come here,
I'll show you.
Come on, art lady.
Put your head down.
(Dialling beeps)
(Cellphone ringing)
Hey.
Where are you?
[Kransk On Phone]:
In some warehouse...
down by the docks.
It's full of steel.
Yeah, I'm in...
I'm in the same place.
Yell out.
Hey...
- [Belinda]: Vince, you in here?
- Belinda?
I'm not alone.
Nice curves
on the lady, son.
Wouldn't want to slice any off.
Come on, we can share her.
Yo, where you at, Vince?
Dean, are you nuts?
Let her go.
Yo, you got the money, boss?
Get out of here.
Where's the money?
Oh! Oh!
- (Gunshot)
- Ow!
- Oh!
- [Dean]: Ugh!
Get out of here. Go!
[Dean]:
(Moaning in pain)
Right in my ass.
Oh, it hurts.
- You got a gun?
- Yeah.
You haven't had a gun
since Korea.
It's the same one.
Mr. K. don't shoot, it's me.
Can you get us outta here?
Yeah, yeah, I got a...
I got a car.
Just wait here, okay,
I'll go get it.
Larry! No!
(Screams of pain)
Son of a bitch!
- (Grunt of effort)
- (Groan of pain)
(Thud)
Grab his gun.
(Crow bar clanging)
[Vince]:
Mr. K.
My leg.
I'm bleeding like a stuck pig.
Let me see.
He hit one...
hit one, for Christ sakes.
This was you, huh?
- You're gonna be fine.
- I'm fucked.
- Oh!... Yeah.
- This tight enough?
I had it coming anyway.
You got yourself free, kid.
You're on your way.
[Vince]: Yeah.
Vince, the show.
Get yourself to the show.
- Get the hell out of here.
- Can you walk?
No, I can't walk.
No, take the briefcase,
get me a good lawyer.
- The best, I promise you.
- Okay.
See you.
Sure.
(Sirens wailing)
(Tires screeching)
[Officer]:
He's in here!
(Indistinct chatter
on police radio)
[India]: It's really quite young
and vibrant...
[Julian]: I don't see it,
don't see it, don't...
- I don't feel anything.
- 'Cause you're not listening to it.
- I don't...
- You have to listen to it, darling.
Look, now, it's Vince, Vince.
Look, now, he has the style.
He's fantastic.
Vince is an accident on purpose.
This is it, Vince.
Hey, um...
hello.
Thanks for coming.
A little while ago,
I ran into someone
who called me an artist.
I didn't even know what the word meant.
I'm not quite sure I do now.
I'm just a guy
off the streets.
I just got out of prison.
Part of the reason why some of you
are interested in me.
I never set out
to be an artist,
I just did what I did for myself.
I'd take pieces of metal scrap home,
whatever I could find,
and I would, uh...
I'd go to war with them.
I'd fight them,
I'd bang them together...
until they'd turn into something.
What, I don't know,
but just something.
What I did know was that...
it probably was a better way
to spend my time...
than to steal cars
and run away from cops.
This last piece, um...
I almost didn't make
this last piece.
I'd made so many
compromises...
that I started to forget
what I was doing...
and who I was doing it for.
(Mixed murmurs of crowd)
This is me,
without apologies,
no secrets, no lies,
no compromise.
How does a guy like me
end up in a place like this?
You think about that...
while you're waiting at the valet
for your car,
'cause it might take a while.
Enjoy the show.
(Applause)
Vince,
I... I love...
I love this...
I love this piece.
I don't...
I don't wanna embarrass you,
but I want to have
a relationship with this piece.
It's really quite good.
Thank you.
It's gonna take a big room.
- I think...
- Shouldn't be a problem, Julian.
- I like it, I like how it moves...
- I, uh...
I wanted to talk about
our arrangement.
- Go on.
- 60-40.
- You're already getting 50.
- 60.
And this?
No, I gotta give that back.
60-40. It would be setting
a ludicrous precedent.
Well, you take it
or leave it.
You've come a long way, Vincent.
I've been looking for you.
Mr. Pogue, uh, can I
get you something,
like, uh...
champagne, pee in a cup?
Where's the money?
- Kranski?
- Kranski's fine.
He can enjoy a nice
long retirement.
Seriously?
(Embarrassed laugh)
Detective Pogue,
Belinda.
Belinda,
Detective Pogue.
Uh... Detective Pogue is here
for the briefcase.
What briefcase?
That briefcase.
Oh! That.
- I'll talk to you later.
- Sure.
I'd like to go over a few things
with you, Ms...?
- Belinda.
- Ms. Belinda.
So what do you think?
It's okay.
It's okay.
- So.
- So?
You're gonna have to forgive me...
for all the stupid things
I've done.
Maybe.
You're going to eventually,
you know that.
Why not now?
What about Belinda?
This?
Oh, I don't know
how that got there.
[Pogue]: You should be more careful
with these types of things.
I'm gonna kiss you now.
And then we're gonna get the fuck
outta here, okay?
Pomeranians?
As many
as you want.
Who's the
better kisser?
Come here, you.
(Rock)
All right, yeah!
(Bell ringing)
("Brother Down"
by Sam Roberts)
I can see
(Car horn honking)
[Man 1]: Two pairs of socks,
that's the key.
[Man 2]: Key to what?
- Key to staying fresh...
and feeling good, you know?
What you do is
you keep an extra pair of socks...
in your pocket,
one in your lunch pail.
Around 2:00, 3:00 o'clock
in the afternoon...
you slap those
bad boys on,
bam, you feel like
a million bucks.
- I'll have to remember that.
- Yeah.
I hope you don't mind
our first meeting
being down here whilst
I'm taking a walk.
No, it's no problem.
(Sigh)
You looking for a job?
Yeah, I'm getting something lined up.
Oh, really? That's good.
What you got?
- Uh, body work.
- Nice.
You know, I'm gonna need
to see your pay stubs...
on a regular basis.
You can have some
alcohol, but no drugs.
We do random
drug testing.
And you know about
the travel restrictions?
Yeah, yeah,
I'm not going anywhere.
And you know the
number one thing
that makes all parolees
go back to jail?
- Not enough socks?
- No.
Stay away
from all known felons...
and former
criminal associates.
If I find you break
that condition,
you go directly
back to jail.
You do not
pass go.
You do not collect 200 dollars.
Am I clear?
- Yeah, crystal.
- Good.
You know, Vince,
I'm gonna be watching you.
I'm looking out for you, man,
I got your back.
- Lucky me.
- Ha!
[Man]: I sent you guys out
to do an easy job.
What the fuck
happened to you?
Couldn't find Vince?
No, we got him right here.
[Man Muttering]:
Mother of God.
Get him outta there!
Which one of you
did this, you?
You told us
to bring him here.
Not in the trunk, asshole.
Come on in, Vince.
What?
Sit him down.
You don't seem
like yourself, Vince.
And I don't mean
'cause of what these two did to you.
You could always
take a beating,
couldn't you?
Get me a couple of glasses...
and some ice water,
will you?
I invited him
to come see you.
And he declined.
Oh, he declined,
did he?
Yeah, he said,
"No fucking way".
[Man]:
Actually, he said...
that he couldn't.
Well, if that is truly the case,
then you should have
phoned me...
and told me
that he had declined,
and I would have
personally invited him.
I confronted him...
and he told us
to fuck off.
So Dean whacked him
with a tire iron...
and started kicking him
on the ground.
You never learn, do you?
Never, ever learn.
Jackie, take him
to the paint room.
No, Mr. K...
- Shut up, Dean,
- Aah!
you're just gonna make it worse
for yourself.
Fuck, Jackie!
Larry, stay where you are.
(Door opening, closing)
I figured you were gonna
come straight to me.
What were you thinking?
You forget me?
Yeah.
You're my favourite,
you know that?
You should have told that
to the new guy.
Everybody knows.
But Dean's got an inferiority complex.
- I, uh...
- It's true, Larry.
Larry thinks
he's just an asshole.
He's good at his job.
Great.
Not as good as you.
This is my first day out.
I'm not going back to jail.
Not... I mean,
not for you,
not for anybody.
I'm done stealing cars.
You got another way
to pay me back...
the money you owe me?
I gave you five years,
- figured, you know, five...
- You figured wrong.
Drink your water.
It was my money
in that bag...
you threw over that bridge.
You always said
that if we got trapped,
- dump the goods.
- Where it can be recovered.
I was road-blocked
on that bridge.
My money.
I want it back.
The vig on that
starts today.
You got that, Larry?
Yes sir, Mr. Kranski.
I could've been out in two.
Instead, I kept my mouth shut.
Out in two? Yeah.
In a pine box.
You act as if you had a choice.
You didn't have a choice.
You don't have a choice now,
sweetheart.
The Mezalis, the crazy Lithuanians,
they got a ship I gotta fill up
with high-end cars.
You do that,
you pay off your debt.
Need help getting up?
I want you to see Vince home.
And send Dean back in.
I want to see
where he's at.
You're the best car thief
I ever saw.
It's a gift.
Man's got a gift,
he's got a duty to use it.
Use it, Vince,
that's who you are.
I'll open 'em,
I'll start 'em,
but I don't drive 'em.
[Dean]:
Those Mezalis,
they'll feed you
to their dogs, dawg.
- Straight up.
- [Larry]: He's right, you know,
Latvian fucking wolf hounds, Vince.
A lot's changed
since you got sent up.
Mr. K. wants us
to bring you up to speed.
Here to learn, Sensei.
Yeah, that's funny, son.
This shit costs Mr. K. a lotta money.
It comes from the Chinese...
- and the Israelis.
- That's right,
- it's that kosher chow mein shit...
- Dean, Dean,
just shut the fuck up, okay!
So you punch in the VIN,
take the jimmy key,
you put it in the frequency generator,
it changes the code
on the chip inside the key.
- Okay?
- Cool. Cool.
And you think this thing's
faster than me?
- Pss...
- Well, we're gonna find out.
Dean, you take the Benz.
- I'll take that Honda.
- You'll take that Honda?
Yeah, it's man against machine.
(Imitating Schwarzenegger)
Yeah, I'll fight.
I will destroy you.
(Sigh)
Hey, hey,
hey, hey,
just wait a sec.
You ready? Okay.
On your mark...
get set...
go!
19, 45...
6, 18.
All right I got you, jailbait.
Maybe you need to take
your remedial typing class.
- Just let me type, man, just...
- Oh, that's right,
- just let me...
- you dropped outta school in 4th grade.
[Dean]: I went to junior college,
motherfucker.
How you doing over there, Vinnie?
It's like riding a bike...
all the way back to prison.
[Larry]:
He's in.
Yeah, yeah,
he's in, all right,
but he hasn't started
that fucking shit yet.
Maybe you should go check
the VIN again, numb nuts.
(Electronic beeping)
[Vince]:
Come on, baby.
- No! Fucking...
- Nice.
- (Engine ignition)
- [Dean]: That's it, I want a re-do.
- I want a re-do.
- [Larry]: No re-dos.
Larry, you can take that Honda.
Oh sure, I'll get right on that, Vince.
And, Dean, if you can crack that Benz,
drive it to the warehouse.
Man, who made you boss, yo?
Kranski's deal, man.
I open them,
I start them up,
but I don't drive them, all right?
Here.
[Dean]:
Where you going?
Getting the fuck away
from you guys.
[Larry]:
Man, never mind.
Fuck him.
[Kranski]:
I got my best guy back.
You got nothing
to worry about.
It'll be a piece of cake.
Vince, there's a case
of Glenfiddich...
in the storeroom.
- Do you like Glenfiddich?
- Yeah.
Yeah. Bring it out
to Mr. Mezali's car, will you?
This deal is good.
Very good.
Larry, where's my old stuff?
What old stuff?
My stuff, man.
The stuff I was doing out back.
Vince, you're not gonna
start that shit up again, are you?
Oh, I had to toss that, yo.
Look, man, I got some
old titty mags in the can...
if you wanna blow off some steam.
Titty mags.
Thanks, man.
You know, five years' practice,
I think I'm ready
for the real thing.
The boss don't like you...
crowding up his space,
you know that.
Hey, we gotta do some work.
Pick up some Benzos.
You don't wanna end up in there.
(Chuckle)
(Car door closing)
(Engine ignition,
tires squealing)
(Strumming guitars)
Hey.
("Single Fins And Safety Pins"
by Japanese Motors)
Hey, Vince.
What, do you live here now?
Look,
Kranski needs you
to go pick him up.
- All right.
- All right.
- What, right now?
- No, tomorrow morning, Einstein.
Take the Lincoln.
We drop him off,
you pick him up.
You better get
with the program, man,
it'll hurt less.
(Keys jingling)
Here...
this is the address.
Okay.
Okay.
(on radio)
(Horn honking)
Kristen, can you hear me now?
[Kristen On phone]:
Belinda...
- (Static on phone)
- For fuck's sake!
Belinda, I can't hear you.
(Shouting)
Hello?
(On phone)
Hello?
Well, can you find
a better signal?
Oh, sure, why don't I just scale
the fucking CN Tower?
So hard to find
a damn phone that works.
- (Tires screeching)
- (Gasp)
- Be...
- (Crash, hissing on phone)
Belinda?
[Belinda]:
Oh, good God, what the hell?
- (Door slam)
- Hey!
- Trying to get your ass run over, lady?
- Don't you know...
pedestrians have the right of way,
- you dipshit?
- Oh yeah, oh yeah?
- Oh yeah? Since when?
- Just read the traffic book!
Oh, but you probably
can't read, can you?
Goddammit,
look at my car!
Oh yeah,
that's just the front bumper,
it's knocked loose.
That takes about
a half an hour labour, tops.
Give me your information,
tough guy.
You can fantasize
about slapping me around...
when you're asking people
if they want fries with that.
Hello! Insurance!
- License!
- Yeah, yeah, about that.
Could we possibly
maybe do this one off the record?
- Sure. No problem.
- Good.
Is the number for 911
still 9-1-1?
All right.
How about you take this car
to my shop,
I fix it up?
Then you can drive off...
like nothing ever happened.
Why would I do that?
Because, uh...
you know what?
I could drive off right now.
And then what
would you do?
Take down your
license plate number.
All right.
How about I throw in...
a couple of hundred bucks
for your time?
500, it's a deal.
Jesus!
Fine, all right.
Follow me.
[Belinda]:
Well, if I were there,
I wouldn't be here, Kristen!
No, you're gonna
have to get your head...
out of your armpit...
and go down there
and make sure...
they installed it right, Kristen.
- Kristen...
- Yo, yo, miss!
Uh...
Don't... lady...
What is this?
It's none of your business.
Seriously,
who made this?
- (Camera phone clicking)
- Hey, don't do that.
Why, did you steal it?
No. Uh...
It's mine,
I made it.
You made this?
Yeah. What's it to you?
W... I mean, it's good.
Like, really, really good.
Like, in an outsider
kinda way.
Outsider.
Outsider kind
of... insider.
I mean, this is
Red Foot and Klassen.
Now, Red Foot shanked Klassen
in the cafeteria.
Rumour had it...
Klassen had ripped off
Red's meth so...
Are you talking about prison?
Yeah.
Do a lotta people...
get stabbed in the eye
where you work?
I work in
the art world.
People get stabbed
all the time,
just... usually
not in the eye.
I'm a gallerist.
Belinda. Bloome.
Guess that makes me
a guy-a-rist.
(Chuckle)
Cute.
Vince.
Your car.
Your car...
your car's ready.
So, Vince,
what were you in for?
Gee, Miss, uh...
Bloome, uh...
none of your business.
Think you got anymore
Red Foots in you?
That's not really Red Foot
and Klassen,
that's just...
just something I made.
I don't know what it is.
I do.
You know,
I'm hosting a small opening...
at OCAD tomorrow night.
Some very interesting
conceptual pieces.
Well, a few might be
interesting, but...
if you'd like to join us...
Open bar?
Just wine.
You have to bring
your own meth.
(Forced chuckle)
Oh, right,
almost forgot.
Um...
Oh, no, no.
Keep it, forget it,
forget it.
- Don't want it.
- [Kranski]: Vincent!
If you think phoning to say...
that you got waylaid satisfies...
Oh, you did get waylaid.
Uh, so anyway, um...
come on by.
We'll talk.
John Kranski.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
I'm sure it is.
Goodbye to you too.
(Engine ignition)
You been doing
some body work, huh?
Yeah.
Want a piece of advice?
Yeah.
Women with tiny breasts
are better in bed.
- Huh?
- True!
I'll keep that in mind.
Where you going?
Gonna change my socks.
What the fuck, man?
Oh, shit, son.
I'm sorry
I didn't see you there.
No diss, huh?
Yeah, sure,
no diss.
(Rock)
(Brakes squeaking)
(Tires squealing)
Sir, you can't park there.
Careful you don't scratch it, Dorian.
(Chuckle)
- (Mixed quiet chatter)
- (Subdued)
[Man]:
Why am I here?
There's nothing to buy here.
Why'd she bring me here?
Look at this shit.
It's like I'm not here to buy...
Look, back up from this.
This is knitting.
I... I don't collect knitting.
This is... bullshit.
Man, times are hard
on the boulevard.
Kristen, why don't you put down
your Master's degree...
and pick one of these up?
Trays and drinks aren't really
my area of expertise.
Damn,
you have an area
of expertise?
You're good.
(Mixed chatter)
Thank you.
- (Tray clattering)
- Oh, shit!
I mean... thank you.
Drink a lotta those?
(Embarrassed laugh)
I... I wish.
It's... it's the heels.
You should try a pair of these.
Makes your feet smell,
but, uh... very stable.
Good to know.
You know,
for my money,
this is the best piece
in the show.
Not that I have any money.
Neither do I.
Are you an artist?
Oh, no.
No, no, no,
I'm just
looking around.
Hey, it'll mess you up
if I take two?
Are you kidding?
Take all of them.
Less to spill.
Thanks.
Thanks.
"Untitled".
(Disgusted groan)
"Untitled".
I got a title for you:
"Don't Sit Here".
When I met him...
he was nothing more
than a taxidermist...
and now the AGO
is clamouring for these.
I might as well be selling Hummers.
There's not one original voice.
It is like, it's all, uh...
the comic book characters.
- Oh!
- God!
[Various]:
(Shocked gasps)
Look at my fucking jacket!
You stupid...
Not with that.
- Get some club soda.
- [Kristen]: I'm so sorry.
[Man]:
You stupid bitch.
I'm so sorry.
No, no, please. Just don't.
Please, get away from me.
Stop it.
Kristen:
I... I...
Excuse me.
Goddammit...
- You know what?
- What, what?
- Who are you?
- Some people say use club soda,
- Hey, hey, hey!
- but I say fight fire with fire.
Get the... Hey,
Get away from me!
Get your hands off me!
You know what?
You should apologize
to the girl.
You shouldn't call her
a stupid bitch!
I didn't!
I called him a stupid bitch!
- I didn't call her a stupid...
- Who's the stupid bitch?
Vince, let go!
He didn't call me a stupid bitch.
Let go, Vince!
Let go.
You shouldn't call anybody
a stupid bitch.
Julie, I am so,
so sorry.
Hey, Gremlin,
time to go.
- What, not one last drink?
- No.
Do your thing, man.
[Belinda]:
Julie, I'm so sorry,
but I am so glad
that you met him.
Do not let him go.
- Him, who?
- [Belinda]: Vince.
Uh... oh.
- Go... Go. Go.
- Oh!
- What do I do with that?
- Julie, listen.
I have to show you something.
You're gonna love this.
- He is a massive talent.
- I can't put my jacket...
His work is raw...
and he is fresh out of prison.
Like, make it,
uh, big.
Ow, man.
Okay, you earned your pay.
You can let me go now, Dorian.
Come on, I let you look good
in there.
You let me look good?
(Grunting)
- I know it hurts like shit.
- (Gasping)
Don't fight it, man,
(Groaning)
just try and breathe.
- You're gonna be okay.
- (Panting)
- Vince!
- Hope you didn't scratch my car.
[Kristen]:
Wait! Hello.
Hi. I'm Kristen,
Belinda's assistant.
Hey, Kristen,
Belinda's Assistant.
Sorry about the mess.
Oh no, really,
uh... not a problem.
If we could just go back...
- (Engine ignition)
- inside, that'd... would be great.
(Tires squealing)
Give me all your money...
or you're fucking dead.
(Laughing)
I had you shit in your pants, son.
You're fucking
hilarious, Dean.
Check out my new knife, man.
It's a SWAT,
special tactical, man.
I got a bigger one at home,
but this is my new baby.
Yeah, that...
See that?
That's real nice, man.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
The streets are a lot safer...
- with you on them, man.
- That's right.
(Tires squealing effect)
(Alert beeping)
Hey, junk man.
Here.
Don't ever say
I never gave you nothing.
What's this for?
That's your cut.
Cut for what?
Well, you know, that gay shit
you got in the back.
Some blond chick came by
to pick it up...
with a guy in a big truck.
I gotta tell you, man,
that... thing,
it was fucking heavy.
[Dean]:
Yo, Vince,
you bonin' that chick, man?
Man, she's pretty, eh?
(Lips smacking)
I just wanna brush her hair
and shit.
Ah, fuck.
She got the...
with the...
and the...
Fuck, dude.
Yo, fuck you, man!
- Hey, where you going?
- We got a run to do.
For the Mezalis!
(Sigh)
Hey, I've got
to call you back.
- Where is she?
- She in there?
No, she's in a...
Hey, wait!
Come back!
I wouldn't go...
in... there.
Well, don't keep us
in suspense.
Do you like a Brazilian
or a Full Monty?
Where is it?
Took two men to get it here.
[Vince]:
You're lucky you're not a man,
'cause you know what,
you'd be dead right now.
Well, thank God, I'm presenting
evidence to the contrary.
You stole this.
I sold it.
Sold it?
Kristen, go get Vince's cheque.
Fact is, an important collector
just bought it.
He saw that photo of Red Cat
and whatever...
and just got all pant, pant, pant,
"Gotta have it".
Kristen!
Let me get this straight.
You... got...
you got somebody
to give you money for this thing?
How much you sell it for?
Fifteen.
Hundred?
Thousand.
For what, for that?
Yeah.
I just made you a lotta money.
This is for six.
Bloome Gallery
takes 60%.
Without me, you're nothing more
than an ex-con
banging away at a bunch of rusty
old car parts in a low-end garage.
So, why were you in prison?
Grand theft auto.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Stole a few cars.
Got mixed up in some stuff,
you know.
Huh.
Not so sexy.
Okay, let's see,
you're...
an emerging artist...
with a shady criminal past.
Very temperamental.
You did time for a crime...
you don't like to talk about.
And you learned it all
in C Block.
C Block was for
child molesters.
D Block, whatever.
It doesn't matter.
The point is,
it's all in how you sell it.
Art is
whatever people say it is.
Or what other people
tell them it is.
- It can't be that easy.
- It isn't.
That's why we're here.
To promote you
so you can create...
and we can all get rich.
How many more
rich collector friends you got?
How fast do you work?
- Pretty fast.
- Great.
You work fast,
I'll sell fast.
You can expect
to triple your take.
Just don't break any laws.
Kristen will work
on your schedule with you.
Oh, Vince,
you didn't tell me
how it looks.
Looks like you're giving birth
to Hitler.
[Belinda]:
Carmella...!
Can I possibly
get this in cash?
Trouble with the banks?
I can make it out
to cash if that's easier.
No. I can wait.
Oh, hey,
can I get your number?
She's a pit bull,
but she knows
what she's doing.
Pit bulls are sweeter.
Are you gonna be up to this?
Uh-huh.
Because it's gonna get
harder and harder...
and you're gonna have to do it...
again and again...
and again. And...
What?
Did we stray off topic here?
N... no, no.
I'm just trying to say
that you...
I get it.
Can I get your number?
I don't date artists.
Who said I'm an artist?
Strictly business.
- (Ripping)
- Belinda: Ow...!
Strictly business.
Right.
Right.
(Groan, sigh)
[Kranski]:
What're you doing here?
I must have just passed out.
- Doing your crap.
- Yep.
- It's not crap, it's working.
- Ha!
Go get yourself
cleaned up.
I'll take you out
to breakfast.
Then I gotta go
meet my parole officer.
These cards suck.
Don't they always.
Hurry up,
I'm starving.
Any pay stubs for me yet?
Uh, no, you know,
I'm still waiting
for my first cheque.
You know,
they hold them.
Yeah, they do that.
- Body work, right?
- Yeah, body work.
Hey, I, uh...
I got that extra pair of socks.
You know, I put them on
in the afternoon...
and I... I felt like,
a million bucks.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna need some pee.
Where?
In here.
So how's your boss?
He's fine,
I guess.
No, I mean, like,
how is he to work for?
Independent,
franchise,
what's the story?
- Mr. Pogue...
- Mmm-hmm.
I can't do this.
- What?
- I can't pee in this jar right now.
(Sigh)
All right.
- (Clearing throat)
- (Tap squeaking)
Nervous bladder, huh?
Now listen to me, okay?
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
I saw this on TV.
Focus.
Think...
relaxing thoughts.
Let all the tension and stress...
(In East Indian accent)
flow through your body.
Take everything...
and stream it through...
into the central sprinkler system...
that God has given you.
Direct it to the penis...
and let it go.
(Urine trickling)
Huh? What'd I tell you?
- Easy peasy.
- (Tap squeaking)
Ooh...
Cheers.
I'm here to help you, you know.
If there's anything
you ever wanna talk to me about...
I mean, anything.
You know, sometimes
the pressure to backslide...
can be very strong.
Yeah. You don't have to worry
about me, Mr. Pogue.
(Urinal flushing)
(Pop)
Hey... Hey!
That's my car! Hey!
(Cellphone ringing)
Yeah.
Tonight?
Strictly business, right?
(Electronic)
[Kristen]:
What do you think?
What am I doing here?
Belinda wanted you to come.
She's around here somewhere.
Hey, you sell my new thing yet?
Oh, fuck.
I thought you liked it.
No, not that,
it's...
him, my ex
and his arm candy.
He's the reason
I don't date artists.
- Kristen.
- Hey, Carl.
This is Daphne,
- Hey,
how are you?
Uh, congratulations.
- Thank you.
- [Kristen]: Vince, this is Carl.
Carl was the hit
at the Art Frise...
- two years ago.
- Yeah, last summer.
Vince, here is also an artist.
Oh, yeah?
What do you do, Vince?
(In French Accent)
Vincent.
Vincent, Vincent.
Uh, I do...
I do...
It's easier if I show you
what I do.
Oh!
Mmmm...
Hey... Okay,
all right.
Oh...
- Oh, come here.
- Ah!
(Lips smacking)
Oh-h-h...
Carl, me, I'm sorry,
but you know,
my life...
my life is my art.
I cannot control myself.
Mmm! Mmm!
- Mmm! Mmm...
- [Carl]: Hey,
well done, Kristen.
Whatever the fuck
you're into now.
(Humming)
(Laughing)
Did you see the look
on Carl's face?
You should have seen
the look on yours.
Thank you for doing that.
And where did you learn
such French, Monsieur?
I had a cellmate
from Chicoutimi.
So who's the better kisser?
You mean
between the two of them?
No, between the three of us.
I'd have to give that to Carl.
Oh, well,
then things have changed..
because he wasn't that good before.
Maybe we should have
a run-off...
before I award the best prize.
I've got to...
I've got to go.
Hey...
I thought we were
just kidding around.
I... I... I didn't...
I didn't mean...
Oh, God.
Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
- Vince! There you are.
Would you please
come up here?
There's someone
I want you to meet.
Who am I meeting?
Vince, you remember Julian?
The important collector...
who bought your piece?
He bought my piece?
[Julian]: Come here,
you fucking genius, you.
No, y...
you come here,
you man of wealth and taste.
Ah, I...
I love your piece.
- I love it.
- Good.
I love that you love it.
Yeah, come,
come, come, come.
You and I, uh...
we have a long...
No, no, no,
you come,
you come sit with me.
We have a...
a long relationship,
- you and I, artist and collector.
- Mm-hmm.
And I want to talk to you, uh...
about a commission.
Commission?
- What's a commission?
- [Julian]: I... I want you...
to create a piece for me,
personally.
How much we talking here?
Oh, no, no, you don't have to worry
about that.
You let me worry about that.
- Huh.
- He's new at this.
(Stammering)
No, that's... that's good, I like it.
He's direct,
I like that.
Listen, you tell me
what you want,
- I'll make it.
- Fantastic.
- That's, uh...
- We all set up a meeting,
discuss the aesthetic parameters
and that's that. That's it.
- That's it?
- That's it.
- You're very talented.
- Hey...
Thank you.
Come by later
and get your cash.
(Sigh)
Very talented.
Yes, he is.
- (Glasses clink)
- Congratulations.
- Congratulations to you.
- Yeah.
[Kristen On Voice-mail]:
If you're listening to this,
I'm either working
or I ran away from home.
Leave a message. Bye.
(Cellphone ringing)
(Buzzer buzzing)
(Door buzzes)
(Knock on door)
Belinda?
[Belinda]:
In here.
You got a nice place.
See anything you like?
You got a lotta stuff, uh...
Cool stuff, I guess.
Don't guess.
Be a mystery.
I can do that.
Uh, you got my cash?
Boy, you just get right down
to the point, don't you?
Well, you know,
five years in jail,
not much time
left to waste.
It's a real coup,
you know,
Julian commissioning a piece.
Good.
How much?
All in good time, Vince.
Come here.
Let me show you something.
- Hitler?
- (Laugh)
Is that you?
No, no, these, actually.
I thought you'd like them.
So listen...
You want to know
how much you're worth.
You know I don't like you, right?
- Right.
- Okay.
How long has it been?
You mean with girls?
Ambiguity is so hot.
- (Door banging)
- Ohh...!
(Energetic electronic)
(Loud moaning)
(Loud moaning)
Shhhh!
All right, shhh!
[Both]:
(Grunting, moaning)
Oh, God!
(Panting)
(Whispering)
Fucking hell.
You all right?
You sleep with all your artists?
Sleep?
You doze off in the middle there?
I'm glad to hear
you're calling yourself an artist.
I'll be right back.
(Cellphone beeping)
(Beep)
[Kristen On Voicemail]: Hey, it's Kristen.
I think you called.
Sorry I...
I ran out like that tonight.
I just couldn't handle seeing Carl
But, uh, anyway,
hope you made out okay
with Belinda...
and I will see you tomorrow morning
at the gallery.
- Okay, bye.
- (Hang up beep)
Keep it up, Vince.
There's a lot more
where that came from.
(Electric guitar)
- (Horn honking, brakes screeching)
- Hey!
- What the fuck!
- [Kranski]: Get in the car.
You're crazy.
- Get in the car.
- No, you know what?
I think I'm safer walking.
Not with your head down,
you're not.
I give you a job to do...
and you're
strutting around town...
like some kind of gigolo.
Gigolo?
That's an idea.
Don't you play smart with me.
I'm working on paying you off.
What else do you want?
I want you on the job.
I need you sharp...
or I don't need you at all.
Clear?
Crystal.
(Tires squealing)
(Streetcar bell clanging)
Hey.
You called?
You called.
After you.
Yep.
So how'd it go last night?
Belinda said
you were amazing.
Sealing the deal with Julian.
Right. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it went fine.
What are you doing?
Blowing.
It's part of my job.
Wow, you do that very well.
Well, are you ready to go?
Yeah.
This whole shopping idea...
was Belinda's,
by the way.
Why do you put up with her?
Why do you?
Money. Fame.
Chicks.
(Chuckle)
Me too.
(Pop)
[Vince]: I've never been
to a museum before.
[Kristen]: Really?
I think you'll really like it.
- How old?
- When I stole my first car?
- 13.
- 13? Wow.
Yeah, I... I brought it
right back, though.
- Why?
- Why did I bring it back?
No, why did you steal it?
Oh, I just wanted to go
for a joy ride.
How old were you when you stopped
bringing them back?
15. Then I'd bring them up
to this huge field...
and there were so many of them...
it became like a parking lot.
Then this guy
found out about it,
wanted to buy them.
so I sold them all to him.
Took me under his wing,
it became what I did.
I was really good at it.
- You're good at other things, you know.
- Hmm.
I want something large for right...
right here.
I'll show you, here.
(Saw buzzing)
[Vince]:
Julian's piece...
I want 60-40.
Well, that's the quickest
I've ever been fucked.
I doubt it.
50-50.
I can live with it.
(Blow torch crackling)
(Blowing)
(Blow torch crackling)
God, you scared the shit outta me.
Come on.
What are we doing?
A little tour.
I wanna talk to you.
(Sassy rock)
(Engine roaring)
(Tires squealing)
- (Horns honking)
- Hey!
You just ran that light!
Yeah, it's a game I play.
Red light, green light.
Every red light's green.
And the green lights?
Uh, they're green too.
Keeps me sharp.
Hmm. That's good.
You know the key to the game,
the only thing
you have to consider?
Where the nearest hospital is.
Heh, funny.
No, the reaction time
of the other drivers.
You just watch them.
Look!
- (Tires squealing)
- [Vince]: Hey!
(Horns honking)
[Kranski]:
Get a life!
Come on, could we just...
play old-fashioned red light,
green light...
till I get outta the car?
Hey,
did you ever look
at this whole area?
Take a look at it.
It's mine.
After this deal with Mezali,
that's it, I'm out.
So who am I gonna get
to administer things?
I thought Larry was your man.
No, Larry?
No, this needs somebody smart...
to keep it profitable.
You.
You're my heir apparent.
Soon as you pay off
your debt,
the keys to this kingdom are yours.
I'm glad we had this little chat.
Where can I drop you?
Hey, you know what?
I'll tell you what,
I'll buy you a drink.
- [Vince]: No, that's okay, Mr. K.
- (Tires squealing)
It's a little early
in the day for me.
[Kranski]:
No, I insist.
We'll celebrate.
(Horn honking)
Kiss my ass!
- How's it going, Pete?
- Hey.
Heya, buddy.
Some guy's in there,
he brought his car in.
Yeah? So?
What's the problem?
He wants you to fix it.
[Dean]:
Yeah, man, we ain't, like,
sir-fix...
fix-a-lots, yo.
Smells like a cop, Vince.
Why would a cop be here?
Why would a cop be here, man?
Mr. Pogue.
Hey, Vince!
How you doing?
Doing fine.
Hey, listen,
I got this, uh...
squealing in my engine...
and I figured,
what better place to take it to...
than the shop you work at.
Yeah, uh, well,
we just do body work,
so better not.
- Oh, that's cool.
- Yeah, yeah.
Oh, hey, you think
I can get some pee from you?
Oh, yeah.
Listen, I'll take a look,
see what I can do.
(Banging)
Nice touch.
Uh-huh.
So how's things going in here?
Ah, well, you know,
it's a little slow...
with the recession and all,
but, uh...
[Pogue]: Hey, it's hitting everybody,
you know.
You wanna...
you wanna get in...
and start it up there, sir?
Oh yeah, sure.
No problem.
(Engine ignition)
You got the magic touch.
- Hey, hey.
- (Hood slamming)
Just, uh...
just a fan belt,
you know?
No charge.
- No charge?
- No charge, no...
No pee, no charge.
Gotta pee.
No, please.
It's just,
the guys are here,
it's kinda embarrassing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
No problem.
- Thank you.
- Hey, where's your boss?
- I need to talk to him for a minute.
- He's at the lake.
He's a fisherman.
You know, just a...
(Stammering)
and actually, he doesn't come
around here all that much.
He's...
he's hard to catch.
Hey, hard to catch
and he's a fisherman.
- Yeah. Go figure.
- Funny.
I guess I'll give him
a phone call or something?
Yeah. You do that.
Yeah. Good idea, that'd...
that'd be great.
All right,
I'm gonna get outta your hair.
Hey, thanks for that.
- You're welcome.
- You're good.
Thanks a lot.
You keep your nose clean.
I'm watching you.
It's for your own good, Vince.
See you.
[Dean]:
Yo!
What the fuck was that?
Uh, that was, uh...
that was Joe, okay?
He was my bitch in jail.
Joe the bitch in jail?
Joe the bitch.
Joe the bitch...
does not take his car...
- to a fucking place...
- Shut the fuck up!
We got work to do.
You're both a couple of bitches.
Go to work.
[Dean]:
Look at that.
Those Mezalis motherfuckers,
they love those cars.
[Vince]:
Whatever. Let me out.
[Dean]:
Get that shit, son.
- Come on, man, give me the phone.
- (Camera phone clicking)
All right, let's do this.
Wait a second.
(Electronic beeping)
Yo, where...
where you going, man?
Yo, what are you doing
with that thing, man?
I don't want that shit in my car, yo!
Shut the fuck up, Dean.
What are we, garbage men?
Come on, man!
Fuck!
- Key.
- Yeah, here you go,
you garbage-picking motherfucker.
- It doesn't work.
- Well, try it again,
the numbers match.
It doesn't work, Dean.
Here, the window's open.
- Come on, Vince.
- Cops, cops, cops!
- [Vince]: Shut up.
- Go!
(Tires squealing)
(Indistinct chatter
on police radio)
(Engine ignition)
(Sigh)
(Rock)
Vince. Hello, yeah.
You're good.
You need a drink
or something?
Nah, I'm all right.
Great car.
Yeah, it's just my favourite
yellow car.
Yeah.
Let me...
Let me ask you something.
It's a...
personal question, okay?
Have you ever
killed someone?
No, no, no.
I see that in your work.
So you like it?
(Chuckle)
So, how we feeling?
I love this piece.
Well, I think it's disingenuous.
[Julian]:
India.
India, this is Vince.
Vince, India Montkieff,
my wife.
- Vince.
- India's a curator at the Tate, Vince.
Yeah, I asked her
to fly in from London...
to see your work.
How do you say
"disingenuous"?
This piece is fantastic.
No, no, his first
piece I love,
but this one
is derivative.
Derivative?
What do you mean
"derivative"?
This is beautiful.
I love this piece.
Well, if he doesn't hear it
from me...
he'll hear it
from someone else.
I was just trying
to give your husband here...
what he asked for.
Pandering.
Yes, that's the word
I was looking for.
Julian, this...
this piece just marinates...
in its eagerness
to please you.
- Are you done?
- Vince...
'Cause I'm done.
Um, you don't want it,
you don't keep it.
[Julian]:
That's not what I'm saying,
that's what she's saying.
This is my piece.
I love this piece.
Vince, she's only one voice.
Yeah, well, she's...
maybe right.
I've been looking for you.
Why didn't you tell me?
These wonderful people...
celebrating you and your art.
I'm sorry, you are?
John Kranski.
Who the hell is that guy?
I'm his mentor.
I was the first
to recognize his...
extraordinary talent.
[Julian]: So, you have some
of his pieces, yeah?
Oh, I do indeed,
plenty of them.
His early work,
no doubt.
- Yeah.
- [Julian]: So you have...
collected his pieces
since before...
[Kranski]:
He did his stretch inside?
I've owned Vince...
for a very long time.
Mr. K. I was on my way out.
You coming?
[Kranski]: Yeah, if you ever need
any body work done...
on your Spider,
give me a call.
Vince has my number.
Ms. Bloome.
Fucking hell, man!
[Kranski Reading]:
"Ex-con...
muscles his way
into the art world".
Nice write-up.
I hate it
when you hide shit from me.
It makes me very,
very angry.
The two of you get outta here.
What the fuck was that
back there?
I'm selling my stuff.
Your stuff?
What the fuck
are you talking about?
That's my stuff.
It's mine. It's all mine.
Whatever comes out of here...
in whatever shape it's in, is mine.
Listen, I'm just trying
to pay you back.
All right?
All the money I make,
and however I make it,
it's all yours.
You got money and you're keeping it
secret from me?
That's stealing it from me!
All the money is yours.
I promise.
(Laugh)
Yeah...
you promise.
Of course, you promise.
Why wouldn't you promise?
You're a crook.
I'm an artist.
What did you say?
You heard me.
Yeah, I fucking heard you.
You're a thief.
Say it.
Say you're a thief!
I'm an artist.
Thief!
- Artist.
- Thief...
you fuck.
Thief!
(Clicking, whooshing)
- Hey, artist,
- (Whispering) Jesus Christ...
which ear?
- Huh?
- What do you mean which ear?
Van Gogh!
Vincent Van-fucking-Gogh.
Left ear, right?
Left ear?
You're a thief.
You're never gonna steal
from me again.
Say it.
- Say it.
- I'm an artist!
- You're a thief!
- (Screaming)
Oh, no...!
Turn it off.
- Larry.
- (Door opening)
Out back in my cassette box,
there's money.
What I'm really doing,
what I'm trying to do...
is educate you.
Yeah, looky, looky.
Hey.
Take some of that
right there.
Leave it.
Come on.
How's the old man gonna know
if it's short?
That's your genius plan?
How's he gonna know?
Yeah. I mean...
- yeah.
- Kranski's in there...
going helter skelter with Vince,
who he loves,
what do you think
he's gonna do to you?
Come on, man,
let's just take a couple of gees.
He'll never notice.
Just relax, okay.
There's gonna be
a pay day soon...
with the Mezali deal going down,
we gotta pick our moment.
Yeah, we, uh...
got something here, Mr. K.
- 33,000.
- 33.
And with my cut on the cars,
I figure I still owe you 140.
That'll square us.
Yeah.
Untie him.
(Sharp intake
of breath)
Eww...
What's it look like?
It looks like
a Yorkshire pudding.
What's a Yorkshire pudding
look like?
Look in the mirror, man.
(Chains clanging)
Oooh, nasty.
(Knocking on door)
My God, what happened to you?
Did you get in a fight?
Please, come in.
Thanks.
[Kristen]:
This might hurt.
How did this happen?
I dozed off welding.
Really?
That, uh,
Kranski guy is...
He's my boss.
Well, what was he doing at Julian's?
That was just... weird.
He wants to share
in my success.
You did those?
Yeah.
What do you think?
I think they're good.
Well, I am just good enough...
to know
that I'm not good enough.
Hey...
But it's fine.
And I like doing it.
Anyway, I think
really good artists...
are egocentric assholes.
- Oh, thanks.
- And vain enough...
to think
I was talking about you.
You all right?
Yeah.
You know when I was inside,
I used to think about
when I'd get out,
and how I'd do things different.
You know, I mean,
not do things the same way
I used to do them.
But here I am,
back the way I started.
Hey, wanna take off...
and just jump in my car and...
start new lives?
You'll work as a cashier,
I'll work in a factory.
And we could live
in a trailer park...
and have, like,
six Pomeranians.
Those are dogs, right?
But, hey, it's not that bad,
you know.
India chose you...
to create the centrepiece
at Art Frise.
Yeah? What's that?
It's a big group show next week.
Huge artists
from all over,
including her new discoveries.
It's major.
I can't.
This could take you
to a whole new level...
if...
that's what you want.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
[Vince]:
I got it all worked out.
We fill the order
in one night, okay?
There's gonna be over 100 cars
at this event.
We can have our pick.
We're gonna need a bigger crew.
We're gonna need
to move the cars fast,
but there's a huge upside.
We do this right,
they give us the keys,
they don't report
their cars missing...
for two, three hours.
Yeah, and we can exceed the order.
Huh...
I... it's...
it's perfect.
[Vince]:
Oh, yeah.
How do we take
the valet stand?
I'll set it up.
[Dean]:
Yo, I don't know nothing...
about being no valet, man.
Yeah, this is, uh...
beneath us.
I hate to burst your bubble, guys,
but, uh...
there's not much beneath us.
Yeah, except maybe my dick.
(Laughter)
This scheme is really something.
- Thank you.
- What?
- (Louder) The scheme is...
- I'm just joking.
My ear's fine.
And by the way, this,
it, uh...
got my head straight.
- Good.
- Yeah.
No seriously, Mr. K...
thank you.
Okay, thank you.
You can send this one.
Uh-huh,
no problem.
Kristen told me about
this big art show.
I want in.
What happened to your ear?
Burned myself welding.
Bullshit!
Whatever it is you're into,
I want nothing to do with it.
I don't get involved
with criminals.
Oh, I never should've
let you fuck me.
What?
(Huffing)
I... I'm working on this new piece.
It's a large piece.
I think you'll like it.
If it sells at this show, it's...
it's all yours.
This is your last chance.
Okay.
So is Carl better than Belinda?
Come on.
No, you come on.
I'm a big girl.
It didn't mean anything.
Oh well,
it's really not any of my business.
Listen, it was a mistake.
I'm done making mistakes.
Good for you.
Strictly business.
Hey.
How's it going?
Just threw some
shit together.
It's cover, they won't know
the difference.
This thing tonight,
it'll square us?
Yeah.
I want you to know, I mean,
we should talk in private,
in more detail...
but I considered it,
what you suggested.
Thank you.
You know, this is...
this place,
it's, uh...
it's kind of a creation,
you know?
My work, you know,
my life.
I've been thinking...
Me too, a lot.
I couldn't entrust this place...
to anybody else
but you.
Hey.
It's the weirdest feeling.
Yeah.
[Dean]:
Yo, Larry.
[Larry]:
What?
We do him tonight.
- In the middle of the job?
- Mmm-hmm.
Put a bag over his head,
slit his throat,
put him in one of the cars.
They won't find him
till the boat gets to Borat-ville.
'Cause there's
no fucking way
I'm working for an art fag.
(Sigh)
So you with me?
Yeah, sure, I...
I'll back you up.
That's good,
'cause I thought
I was gonna have to do you too.
(Laughing)
- Funny guy.
- (Slurp)
[Man]:
Tracey, two more bottles!
When did this get here?
Where the hell is Vince?
After all the strings
I've pulled for him!
What strings?
I thought India invited him.
Shut up.
Go outside and look for him.
[Vince]:
Look at that.
Guys, all right,
here are the claim checks.
They pull up,
you give it to them, all right?
You drive the cars
around the corner,
come back,
you do it again.
What about the keys?
You leave 'em inside the car.
And smile
for the nice people, okay?
Yeah, act civilized.
I'm gonna go play artist now.
And cute uniforms.
[Dean]:
Faggot.
Oh, hi, there.
(Rock)
Get inside, funny man.
Sweet.
When did you figure us out?
Uh... let's see...
white van wherever I go,
you and me always meeting
out somewhere,
never in the office.
I called Parole Services.
They never heard of a Randall Pogue.
It's too bad
you and your pals...
will all be in jail tonight.
- I don't know about that.
- Really?
I've got enough stuff on tape
to write a book.
Not without my help.
'Cause if I don't
go back out there
and I tell those guys
that everything's cool,
this scam is off...
and you don't get anybody.
You know
we can make you.
Now what're you gonna do?
Are you gonna burn
my other ear?
So what do you want, Vince?
I want what you want.
You know, I want to put
bad guys in jail.
But I want freedom,
I want immunity.
I mean, whatever you call it...
for me.
This only works
if we get them all,
and that includes Kranski.
It's time to figure out
whose side you're on.
Where are you going?
I'll see you at the docks.
- Okay, thanks, guys.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
[Kristen]:
Vince!
(Muttering)
Oh, fuck.
What the hell is going on?
Here for my unveiling!
I just saw you steal
a catering van.
What are you doing?
You have to trust me.
Do I?
Yeah.
Listen, it's all gonna be okay,
all right?
This is, uh...
this is it.
This is my way out.
- Is it legal?
- Uh...
not exactly,
but, uh...
I know what I'm doing.
I know this doesn't
make sense to you,
but it will.
Please,
cover for me, okay?
(Pop)
(Annoyed sigh)
Where is he?
Every critic in the city is here...
and they're staring
at a fucking tarp.
Can't you do anything right?
Actually, I can.
And don't ever talk to me
like that again.
Excuse me?
I said, don't ever fucking talk to me
like that again.
Is that clear?
Crystal clear.
You're fired.
Hmm.
Hey, man, it's getting late,
is that it or what?
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we got all the cars we need.
All right, I'll ride with you then, son.
All right, uh...
I'll, uh...
I'll take this one.
All right,
all right.
Come on,
let's go, boys.
You know what, Dean?
One last car.
- You take that car.
- What the fuck?
- Okay? Come on, Miss Daisy.
- Hilarious.
(Engine ignition)
Vince!
Vince!
(Suspenseful)
I see him.
He must be the
last of the cars.
We don't move until the money
changes hands.
- So?
- Hey. What'd I tell you?
He's a genius, my boy.
It's all in there.
You don't have to count it.
I'll count it in the car.
You guys are good.
Oh yeah.
Lucky you made it,
just in time
to leave tonight.
(Chuckling)
We are now a go.
I repeat, we are a go.
(Sirens blaring)
Shit!
(Sirens wailing,
brakes screeching)
[Pogue]:
Get Mezali!
Fan out!
Find Kranski!
Vince, you're supposed to be
an ex-criminal, you moron.
- (Crack)
- Ugh! Goddammit!
(Sigh)
(Grunt of effort)
(Sirens approaching)
- Come here... Shut up, shut up!
- Oh God!
Watch the face.
You're that art chick...
that Vince has been ballin'.
Where is he?
Come here,
I'll show you.
Come on, art lady.
Put your head down.
(Dialling beeps)
(Cellphone ringing)
Hey.
Where are you?
[Kransk On Phone]:
In some warehouse...
down by the docks.
It's full of steel.
Yeah, I'm in...
I'm in the same place.
Yell out.
Hey...
- [Belinda]: Vince, you in here?
- Belinda?
I'm not alone.
Nice curves
on the lady, son.
Wouldn't want to slice any off.
Come on, we can share her.
Yo, where you at, Vince?
Dean, are you nuts?
Let her go.
Yo, you got the money, boss?
Get out of here.
Where's the money?
Oh! Oh!
- (Gunshot)
- Ow!
- Oh!
- [Dean]: Ugh!
Get out of here. Go!
[Dean]:
(Moaning in pain)
Right in my ass.
Oh, it hurts.
- You got a gun?
- Yeah.
You haven't had a gun
since Korea.
It's the same one.
Mr. K. don't shoot, it's me.
Can you get us outta here?
Yeah, yeah, I got a...
I got a car.
Just wait here, okay,
I'll go get it.
Larry! No!
(Screams of pain)
Son of a bitch!
- (Grunt of effort)
- (Groan of pain)
(Thud)
Grab his gun.
(Crow bar clanging)
[Vince]:
Mr. K.
My leg.
I'm bleeding like a stuck pig.
Let me see.
He hit one...
hit one, for Christ sakes.
This was you, huh?
- You're gonna be fine.
- I'm fucked.
- Oh!... Yeah.
- This tight enough?
I had it coming anyway.
You got yourself free, kid.
You're on your way.
[Vince]: Yeah.
Vince, the show.
Get yourself to the show.
- Get the hell out of here.
- Can you walk?
No, I can't walk.
No, take the briefcase,
get me a good lawyer.
- The best, I promise you.
- Okay.
See you.
Sure.
(Sirens wailing)
(Tires screeching)
[Officer]:
He's in here!
(Indistinct chatter
on police radio)
[India]: It's really quite young
and vibrant...
[Julian]: I don't see it,
don't see it, don't...
- I don't feel anything.
- 'Cause you're not listening to it.
- I don't...
- You have to listen to it, darling.
Look, now, it's Vince, Vince.
Look, now, he has the style.
He's fantastic.
Vince is an accident on purpose.
This is it, Vince.
Hey, um...
hello.
Thanks for coming.
A little while ago,
I ran into someone
who called me an artist.
I didn't even know what the word meant.
I'm not quite sure I do now.
I'm just a guy
off the streets.
I just got out of prison.
Part of the reason why some of you
are interested in me.
I never set out
to be an artist,
I just did what I did for myself.
I'd take pieces of metal scrap home,
whatever I could find,
and I would, uh...
I'd go to war with them.
I'd fight them,
I'd bang them together...
until they'd turn into something.
What, I don't know,
but just something.
What I did know was that...
it probably was a better way
to spend my time...
than to steal cars
and run away from cops.
This last piece, um...
I almost didn't make
this last piece.
I'd made so many
compromises...
that I started to forget
what I was doing...
and who I was doing it for.
(Mixed murmurs of crowd)
This is me,
without apologies,
no secrets, no lies,
no compromise.
How does a guy like me
end up in a place like this?
You think about that...
while you're waiting at the valet
for your car,
'cause it might take a while.
Enjoy the show.
(Applause)
Vince,
I... I love...
I love this...
I love this piece.
I don't...
I don't wanna embarrass you,
but I want to have
a relationship with this piece.
It's really quite good.
Thank you.
It's gonna take a big room.
- I think...
- Shouldn't be a problem, Julian.
- I like it, I like how it moves...
- I, uh...
I wanted to talk about
our arrangement.
- Go on.
- 60-40.
- You're already getting 50.
- 60.
And this?
No, I gotta give that back.
60-40. It would be setting
a ludicrous precedent.
Well, you take it
or leave it.
You've come a long way, Vincent.
I've been looking for you.
Mr. Pogue, uh, can I
get you something,
like, uh...
champagne, pee in a cup?
Where's the money?
- Kranski?
- Kranski's fine.
He can enjoy a nice
long retirement.
Seriously?
(Embarrassed laugh)
Detective Pogue,
Belinda.
Belinda,
Detective Pogue.
Uh... Detective Pogue is here
for the briefcase.
What briefcase?
That briefcase.
Oh! That.
- I'll talk to you later.
- Sure.
I'd like to go over a few things
with you, Ms...?
- Belinda.
- Ms. Belinda.
So what do you think?
It's okay.
It's okay.
- So.
- So?
You're gonna have to forgive me...
for all the stupid things
I've done.
Maybe.
You're going to eventually,
you know that.
Why not now?
What about Belinda?
This?
Oh, I don't know
how that got there.
[Pogue]: You should be more careful
with these types of things.
I'm gonna kiss you now.
And then we're gonna get the fuck
outta here, okay?
Pomeranians?
As many
as you want.
Who's the
better kisser?
Come here, you.
(Rock)
All right, yeah!