The Contrast (2022) Movie Script
1
(gentle piano music)
(music swelling)
- Ah, this is a beautiful
place for our wedding.
- Only the best for my baby.
- Welcome to the...
nice scarf.
- Thank you.
So key's inside, luggage is in the back.
- I don't do luggage,
I just drive the car.
- Okay.
- There's a tip jar inside.
- Guess we're doing this.
- I guess so.
- Whoah, hey, just give us a moment, okay?
- You know, my dad's gonna
be more excited to see you
than I think he is to see me.
- Yeah, he knows you're
going to get looked after.
Hey, please don't smoke in my car, okay?
- I can smell it.
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
- Hey!
- Hey!
How are you?
- I'm good, how are you?
- I'm good.
Yeah.
- Good to see you.
- [Dimple] You want a hand?
- [Charlee] Yeah, please, thank you.
- [Dimple] What do you got in here?
- [Charlee] Wedding supplies.
- [Dimple] Allow me.
- [Charlee] Thank you.
(clubs clattering)
- Geez, babe.
- Ooh.
- On behalf of the Royal
Tyler, I welcome you.
Refreshments are at the bar.
Driving range is out back.
And sporting clays are down the path.
Tonight's dinner, 6:00 PM.
Tomorrow's the big day.
Wedding service, 2:00 PM, sharp.
- Sporting clays?
- Yeah we're going to go shooting.
- Ooh.
- They do shooting here?
Ugh, great.
Guns and hillbillies.
(Charlee laughs)
- Time for drinks! (chuckling)
Get your drink on, get your drink on,
get your drink on, get your drink on...
(fast-paced rock music)
(cat mewing)
- Sorry baby.
You're gonna have to wait one more night
till you get all of this.
- Oh dear, what's a girl to do?
- I don't know.
- Well, at least I have my wine.
You know, I think I'm
actually gonna go out
and practice my golf swing.
Explore the grounds, you know?
- Yeah.
Yeah, good idea.
Sorry, I got so much work
to do with this publisher.
He's like demanding so
much of me right now.
- [Maria] Yeah.
No, I get it.
I'll see you later.
- Okay.
(playful guitar music)
- Hey!
- Hey!
Hi!
- Hi!
- How is everything?
- Look at you.
- Where's your guitar?
Did you finally give up on music?
- Not yet.
I wish I could do anything else.
- Well, I'm doing great.
Maria hooked me up with this huge account.
- Ooh, that's awesome.
You still try to marry every guy you date?
- At least I can find a guy.
- Yeah, I just don't believe
in love at first sight.
- Yeah.
- [Maria] Hey.
- Hey!
- Oh!
- Oh girls, you guys look so good.
Okay, hold on let me
put this big bag down.
It's really good to see you guys.
- It's too bad it takes a wedding
for us to all get in the same room.
- I know, I agree.
Jenny, where's your guitar?
- Wow, am I just completely disappointing
without it? (laughs)
It's in the car.
You know, if I play, you're
going to have to sing.
- Oh no, no, no, no, no.
I don't do that anymore, I
am strictly a shower singer.
- Mhmm, and she'll still be better at it
than the rest of us.
(girls laugh)
- Girls, I'm really happy you came out.
It's my big day.
And it means a lot that
you're sharing it with me.
So, thank you.
Anyways, I got to go
practice, learn, whatever,
perfect my golf skills.
So, I will see you later.
- [Jenny] Oh, good luck with that.
- Grab some wine on your way out.
I think you're going to need it.
- I like the way you think, girl.
Bye.
- Bye, love you.
- Bye.
- Can you believe she's
going to marry Dimple?
- I don't want to.
(suspenseful music)
(car revving)
- Oh!
(body thudding)
- Oh no.
What happened?
Let me, let me, let me.
- (laughs) What's so funny?
- You slipped on a banana peel.
(Maria laughs)
How did you manage that?
- I don't know.
- That's not supposed
to happen in real life.
And what are these golf clubs for?
- They're for my work,
so give them back, okay?
- I wish I had your job.
- Do you play?
- Oh, I'm terrible.
- Me too.
(fast-paced rock music)
- Hey!
They told me you were out here.
- You made it!
God, it's so good to see you.
Have a seat.
- All right. (clears throat)
- How's dad?
Have you seen him yet?
- Not yet.
I'm headed there after this.
- Well, it was nice for you to stop by
and help us out first.
- Of course, I couldn't be
in the area and not see you.
- So how long you home for?
- Just a few weeks.
I'm headed to D.C. at
the end of the month,
to lobby at the VA there.
- Well it's good you're getting
some political experience.
Who knows, maybe that's
what's next for you.
- I don't know about that.
I was thinking about doing another tour.
- What?
Why?
Aren't you ready to
settle down with someone?
- I haven't really thought about it
and I haven't found the right person yet.
But enough about me.
What about you?
Where's your knight in shining armor?
- Well, I met someone.
But it's complicated.
- That doesn't sound reassuring.
- No, he's great.
It's just,
he's got a lot going on.
- Well, whatever it is,
I hope he's better than the last guy.
- Hey now!
(both laughing)
- I just want you to be happy is all.
- Okay, dad.
- Hey Charlee, have you
seen the napkin rings?
Hi.
- [Charlee] I think I know where they are.
But this is my brother Henry.
- Charlee, I knew you had a brother,
but this is not what I was expecting.
- He's handsome, right?
He stopped by to help us out
first, before he takes off.
- So, you're not gonna stay?
- I don't want to crash your wedding, and
besides, I have a colleague with me.
- Nonsense, he can be your plus one.
- Oh, he's a good time too.
The other guy, not Henry.
He's a stick in the mud. (laughs)
But I love him with all my heart.
- Thanks, sis.
- I'm gonna go find those napkin rings.
- Okay, great, thank you.
- I'll see you two later.
- Bye, sis.
- [Charlee] Bye.
- So, you're going to stay?
- Yeah, why not?
- Good.
I'll see you later.
- I hope so.
(lightly tense music)
- Sir, for the dinner,
we're having trouble running your card.
- How? I made a payment.
I'll write a check.
- [Host] Our policies are very strict.
- Use my card on file.
It's the least I can do
for my new son. (chuckling)
- Very good, sir.
See you at six.
- Six it is!
Yeah, hmm?
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Anytime.
(both laugh)
- Great.
(Dimple sighing)
That's a awesome suit.
You here for our wedding?
- Indirectly.
It's more of a working
holiday, I'm afraid.
- Oh, nice.
What line of work you in?
- I help individuals and businesses
acquire accounts receivable.
Cheers.
- Excellent niche.
You must do well.
- I am ruthless with deadbeats
and my clients are very private people.
- Wow, it sounds like exciting work.
How long have you been in America for?
- Just a few days.
- I just got back from Britain.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- How'd you get on?
- Great.
Made a lot of young adoring fans.
- Really?
- Check out my accent.
Good day, governor.
Fancy a cup of tea?
- That's charming. (chuckling)
You know, I could really use the help
from someone who truly
understands Americans.
How would you like a job?
- I'd love one.
- Terrific.
- Do you have dinner plans later?
- I don't.
- It's settled.
6:00 PM, the dining room.
Guest of honor.
- You really know how to
show a guy a good time.
I like that.
Mr. Von Dumpling, please do excuse me.
I need to go use the dog and bone.
- Dog and bone.
(light music)
En garde, sir!
Yeah!
There you go.
Good as new. (chuckling)
(chimes tinkling)
(birds chirping)
- Are we in the right place?
(rock music)
- Yep.
- Okay.
- Should I get you guys some golf balls?
- Do you want to go shooting instead?
- Yeah, let's try that.
- Where's the shooting range?
- You're standing on it.
- I thought this was the driving range.
- You're standing on that too.
- Wait the guy, the host, he said that
there's a path to get to the driving range
and then in the back,
there's another range.
- Yeah, you take the
path to get to the back.
Do not believe that guy, he's full of it.
- Let's go shoot then.
- Excellent choice.
I'll take the 12 gauge.
- 410.
- Okay.
Hope you don't mind waiting.
- I can't believe it.
(fast-paced rock music)
Where the heck is he?
- They did not set this place up well.
- He is taking his sweet time.
- [Frank] Right here guys.
- Oh, hey.
- Check it out.
- Thank you.
- Exactly what you guys
wanted.
- Nice.
- Do you mind going to
operate the machine?
I'm just going to take a few real quick.
- No, no, no, that's your job.
Let me do mine.
- Get out of here.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- What the heck is his problem?
- We'll see.
- Pull!
(rifle booming)
- [Henry] Pull!
(rifle booming)
- You are really bad at this.
- You win.
- You know, winning isn't everything.
- Oh really?
- No, I love to win,
let's go again. (laughs)
- [Henry] You know,
it's so nice.
- I know,
and then he changes his voice,
he's like I'm tired of asking for this.
- Yeah yeah, you know?
- It's hilarious.
- It's weird.
I feel like I know you already.
- There you are!
I've been looking for you everywhere.
Hey, I'm dying for a drink.
Can we do like a margarita light ice,
just a little bit of salt around the rim,
not too much, thank you.
- Wait, I don't work here.
- Oh, Hey.
With the bags,
we're staying at the very top, okay?
So just put them up right up the top.
Not the second floor,
but the top floor, okay?
The tippy top, you got it?
- Uh-uh.
- Thank you.
What a nice guy.
- He doesn't work here.
- Oh.
Oh.
So where's this other guy?
(military flute music)
- [Man] Over here, you jarhead.
- That's Colonel Jar Head to you.
- Man, what took you?
Did you not read the signs?
- Ain't nothing gets past me.
- So what, you take the wrong path?
What's wrong with your eyes?
- It was the right path.
So which room is Charlee Manley's?
I'm her brother.
- Thank you for your service, sir.
Room 17, rear left.
Glad to have you here, Colonel.
On the house.
I'm happy to house our servicemen anytime.
(light guitar music)
I walk away
Pretending everything's okay
It burns a blaze they took my soul
I know truth
What I did before didn't mean no
- Hey.
Thanks for the help, guys.
I'm William, William Von Dumpling.
- Oh, you're the groom.
- Yeah, guilty as charged.
Charlee's brother, I get it.
In the service, right?
Yeah.
She talks about you, okay.
Nice to finally meet you.
And sorry about before.
- No problem.
And I thank you for letting
me be a part of your wedding.
And this is my plus one, Nate.
- Howdy.
We're together.
- Oh.
- Oh, no.
Not together, together,
not like that together.
Speaking of together, who was that girl
that just crossed here with a guitar?
- Oh, that's Jenny.
She's crazy.
But, she's a great musician.
(door knocking)
- No, no, come in.
- Oh.
Can I talk to you for a second?
- Yeah, of course.
- What should I do?
- [Charlee] Follow your heart.
- That would crush my dad, literally.
- Who's getting married?
- It's just, why can't I
see the good side of Dimple?
- Yeah, he's awesome.
Your family's really this tight?
- I would do anything for my dad.
I would live in poverty.
- That's cool, but...
- I would marry a wimp.
- Well, that is not Dimple.
He cares so much for the environment,
for everyone.
He'll be fine.
- Yeah, he will.
(Dimple sighing)
- Lots of foreign cars here.
- Yeah, that Beamer's sick.
You have a car like that,
everybody wants a piece of your burrito.
- I'm more of a fajita guy.
- Man, I go crazy for a good chalupa.
How about you?
- Burrito?
- You don't sound so sure about that.
- Well, yeah, it was part
of the joke, you know,
with the euphemism of the...
- I know what it's for.
- Yeah, well look, I got a lot to do,
being a groom and all.
So I better head back inside.
So, thank you again for the help.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mmm.
(tense music)
- Hold yourself together, Charlee.
You got this.
(door knocking)
Oh, it's you.
- Hey.
I finally met your brother.
Striking resemblance.
- (chuckling) Thanks for noticing.
I got that a lot growing up.
- How are you holding up?
- I'm all right.
- It has to be this way,
you know that right?
- You keep saying that.
- I still like you.
It's just that I'm
marrying Maria tomorrow.
Doesn't mean that we still
can't have our thing.
And you still drive me crazy.
You know, I haven't slept with Maria
since I've been sleeping with you.
- Well then why can't we be together?
- Because, I need to marry Maria.
I mean, something drastic
would have to happen
for us to be together.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Are you Colonel Manley's servant?
- I work with Colonel Manley.
- Yeah right, Seal.
What's the difference?
- I look better in uniform.
- [Jenny] I'm sure you do.
- I really do.
- Women like a well-mannered
man in uniform.
It makes them all want burritos.
(both laugh)
Right?
No?
- You stole that from Dimple.
- No, no I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.
Crass doesn't come from you.
- Man.
He tried it on us earlier.
I don't know what to think about that guy.
- I don't like him.
- Why is that?
- A friend of mine knew him before Maria
and he was an asshole to her.
He has this way of manipulating people
into this false sense of security.
She told me he took her out
to this empty field at night
and started making moves on her.
She was a virgin.
- I mean,
can you really blame a guy
for trying to get laid?
- You can when he's lying to people.
- Yeah.
I guess.
- She had a really hard time after that.
- Why, what happened?
- She died.
- (sighs) Boy.
- (laughs) Your face.
- [Nate] What about my face?
- No, she's totally fine.
She has a husband and two kids.
And at least he paid for the abortion.
- Man, that's messed up.
- [Jenny] Told you so.
- Dimple's a dick.
- [Charlee] Hey, I'm not carrying this.
- Thanks.
- Your room's the last one
on the left.
- Thank you.
- Make sure you wear something nice.
- I will!
- And not that shirt you always wear.
I know you think it looks
good, but it doesn't.
- No promises.
Hey, about your friend I met earlier.
- Forget about it, soldier.
She's taken. (chuckling)
Wait!
Wait!
(crickets chirping)
A new story, a new face
- Keep it together, Maria.
Keep it together.
(fast-paced rock music)
- Franklin Godfried Tyler.
I know this isn't your favorite
thing to do every summer.
I need you to pay attention.
Could you try, just try to
offer better customer service.
- Okay.
- Because it doesn't seem
like you care all that much.
- No, I don't, Uncle Tobias.
All right, the only reason I'm here
is because aunt June makes you hire me
every single year, it sucks.
This hotel sucks!
- If you mess up, my you'll-
- Oh, I don't care.
- Hello.
I hope you're enjoying your
stay at the Royal Tyler.
We'll have dinner ready in a moment.
Good evening.
Tonight's menu is from Martha Washington's
original recipe book as written in 1789.
Can everyone please take their seats?
As is our custom here at the Royal Tyler,
we would like to offer a
blessing for this meal.
Could someone lead us in a word of prayer?
- Mhmm.
- Go ahead, sir.
- Dear Lord.
Thank you for this food, Lord.
I want to thank you for
friends and family, Lord.
And thank you for blessing
us, Lord, with this fine meal,
and with all these fine women.
People, fine people, Lord, amen.
- [Everyone] Amen.
(energetic string music)
(guests chattering)
- (snapping) Gramps.
You got any good stuff?
Like from Europe, preferably French wine?
- French?
For you, certainly, sir.
- It's nice to see you in
that vest for a change,
instead of a scarf.
- I don't know, Gray,
I think you'd look good in one of those.
- Oh, why don't you read my book?
I cover a chapter of wine.
Yeah, Mr. Dimple.
- It was pretty bold of you
to sell your father's business
to start a book.
- Yeah, yeah.
I think it's going to
be a big hit, though.
- What's the title of
the book going to be?
- Oh, I don't want to
bore you about my book.
It's, you know, new signs
for this environmental
activism and blah blah.
- How about we get some wine from this?
Oh, it's a great bouquet.
It's from,
Spitaly.
- He and I had some great
times working together.
I just wish he was still here
to see you and Maria now.
- Psst, Jenny.
What do you think about Nate?
- [Jenny] He's cute, but I'm not sold.
- Oh, come on.
- Here it is, sir.
I went to the depths of
the cellar for this one.
Way in the back.
Dusted it off just for you.
Enjoy, my friend.
- He pretended to not
know how to pick up girls.
Oldest trick in the book.
But I see through him.
- Cheers.
Yeah.
Mm-mm.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- There's a little bit
of sediment in it too,
which is actually a good thing.
- Can you believe this guy?
- High in tannins.
Mmm, really sweet.
- [Both] What an ass.
- [Jenny] What's the
deal with you and Dimple?
- What do you mean?
- It's obvious you guys have been spending
a lot of time together.
- Let's all raise our glasses
to a toast for the newlyweds,
Dimple and Maria.
- Okay, we're doing this.
Toast time! (sighing)
Gray, thank you for everything.
I feel really lucky
to have known you
and to be included in your family,
and for everything you've
done for me and Maria.
And I know I've been busy and caught up
with the book and everything,
and traveling to Europe and...
But, I'm really proud
to call you my fiancee
and I'm really looking
forward to tomorrow.
And I'm glad everybody's here,
even though my dad isn't, but Gray,
I'm glad you're here.
So, to dad, to Gray,
and to my babe.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
(Charlee coughs)
- So this guy here, guest of honor,
he offered me a job and I took it.
It's in finance, it's a
little bit rough and tumble.
We haven't kind of ironed out all the
crinkles yet.
- Okay, yeah.
- Congratulations, sir.
Maria is an amazing lady.
- The fruit doesn't fall
too far from the tree.
- No, sir.
It does not.
- Dimple, I'm so proud of you.
I always knew you'd land on your feet.
- I like you, Henry.
I wish I had a son like you.
- Thank you, sir.
- If I could encourage everyone
to move into the living room,
we have a wonderful crackling fire.
- Sounds nice.
Yeah, let's go.
- [Mr. Hazard] Mr. Von Dumpling.
May we have a word for a moment?
- I'll be right there.
- Okay.
- There are a few things that
I'd like to go over with you.
Is this a good time?
- Yeah, of course.
I've got my whole life to spend with her.
- Great.
Now, I think that this particular client
is going to be rather difficult.
And that is what I could
use your hand with.
- How do you deal with difficult clients?
- Easy, intimidation.
Other collectors will jerk
you around for six months
and send you a letters,
or make phone calls
that get easily ignored.
It's not even the same area code.
I like to go straight to
the mark and get results.
Can I show you something?
- Yeah.
(Dimples retching)
- I know, right?
It's absolutely garish.
Look closely.
Here.
Look good, don't they?
Ordinarily, showing them
the jar is quite enough.
Occasionally though, you
do have to add to it.
- What about something less invasive?
- The nice thing about fingers
is that people always take them with them.
You can do it anywhere.
Now, it's a great incentive program.
The faster somebody pays,
- The less likely they are,
- To lose a finger, correct.
You get it.
You're smart.
I think you might be
good at this after all.
How about you start on Monday?
- Yeah, Monday.
- Great.
- Awesome.
- Until then.
- [Dimple] Yeah.
Thank you so much.
(suspenseful music)
(fire crackling)
(light guitar music)
- I think you're right, man.
Here we go.
Cheers.
Oh, dear.
What is that?
- [Jenny] It's a guitar.
- I know what it is, but
what are you playing?
- Something I wrote.
You play?
- The piano, it's my weapon of choice.
- I'll believe it when I see it.
- Be prepared to be impressed.
I've been playing since I was six.
Yankee doodle went to town
Riding on a pony
Stuck a feather in his hat
And called it macaroni
Stopped playing when I was seven.
- My ears are crying.
Maria.
Mhmm.
Let's do this.
1, 2, 3.
I'm a Yankee Doodle dandy
A Yankee Doodle, do or die
The real live niece of my Uncle Sam
Born on the fourth of July
I've got a Yankee Doodle sweetheart
He's my Yankee Doodle world
Yankee Doodle went to London
Just to ride a pony
I am a Yankee Doodle girl
- Woo!
(Maria laughing)
- Amazing, amazing.
- [Maria] Thank you.
You didn't know I could sing.
- I did not.
(chill R&B music)
- I think I officially retire.
- I think that would be best for everyone.
- Look at these two.
What a pair.
- He's trying.
- Yeah, I mean, that's not gonna work.
- (chuckles) Tell me about it.
- You see that up there?
That's the little dipper,
also known as Ursa minor.
Now if you know nothing
about constellations,
that'd be the bare minimum.
- Really?
- Yup.
I tried to look for it myself once.
I had to do my research.
Turns out the difference
was night and day.
- Ha-ha.
- What about you?
You working on anyone?
- Just myself.
- Oh.
(Henry chuckles)
Yeah right, Colonel,
sure.
- Mhmm.
(punch bashing)
(Nate groaning)
- Oh, not what I expected.
- Oof. (laughs)
- Really?
- [Nate] What did I do?
- Look at my eyes.
- [Nate] No.
- Look at them.
- Those are witch eyes.
- [Jenny] What were you thinking?
- For one, I thought you'd like it.
- [Jenny] Ugh.
- Dimple was right about you.
You are crazy.
- You ain't seen nothing yet.
- Hey buddy, I guess it didn't work out.
- Yep, still got it.
- Hey, let's get you back inside, man.
Let's go.
- Okay.
- Come on.
- (sighs) Girl, what happened?
I thought you liked that guy.
- I do, he just...
He has a big head.
- He does kind of, doesn't he? (laughs)
- Sometimes, I don't know if
men are worth the trouble.
Women never gave me this kind of drama.
- That's true.
- You're getting married tomorrow.
- [Maria And Jenny] Whoa!
- Charlee.
- That was not there before. (laughs)
You're getting married tomorrow.
- [Maria] Yeah.
- How does that feel?
You're not happy, are you?
- No, I mean,
I am, I should be.
I was telling Jenny earlier,
I'm just getting cold feet.
- Well, that is perfectly
normal. (chuckles)
It's perfectly normal.
But, you gotta follow your heart.
- She's right, you know?
- [Charlee] Mhmm.
- Yeah, no I am, I am following my heart.
Dimple is such a great guy.
He's... (sighs)
He was different.
He was the old Dimple.
He was so sweet tonight, at dinner.
And, he's just been stressed, you know?
He's got the publisher
thing with his book.
That's all.
- He should still be making time for you.
- [Charlee] Mhmm.
- Yeah.
- I'm going to talk to him.
- [Maria] No, Jenny,
no, no, Jenny.
- I need to, I need to.
- No, Jenny, don't do that.
- I have to.
- Jenny, don't say something stupid.
I just hope she's not hard on him.
- Oh girl, everything's
going to be all right.
She's going to go, (laughs)
I'm going to go talk to her.
- Yeah?
- Mhmm.
- Okay.
- I'm gonna talk to her. (laughs)
I got to get something from her anyway.
Bye.
- Bye.
- Hello, Jenny.
Can you do something for me?
- No.
- I am William Von Dumpling's employer,
and I need something delivered to him.
- And why can't you do that?
- I don't want to disturb him
with work before his big day.
- What is it?
- A benefits package.
- Hmm.
That's weird.
Whatever, I'll do it.
Wait, since when does Dimple have a...
It's hot.
Just the man I was looking for!
- Jenny!
How are you doing?
- [Jenny] What are you doing?
- Nothing.
- It doesn't look like nothing.
- (sighs) Listen, Jenny.
Jenster, Jenny Poo.
- Don't call me that.
- Okay.
Don't tell Maria.
- [Jenny] Don't tell Maria what?
- I saw her
with that guy Henry,
and I got a little jealous.
So I wanted to do something nice for her.
Write her a little poem, you know,
put some rose petals on the bed,
get her excited about
the big day tomorrow.
I'm just so busy with my book that
I feel like I'm neglecting her.
- Okay.
I believe you.
But here's a letter from
that creepy guy outside.
He said it was a benefits package,
but he looked like a debt collector.
- How did you know he's a debt collector?
- I dated one.
- He gave off the same vibe-
- [Jenny] She.
- Okay, thank you for that.
- Mhmm.
- I'll get that.
- [Jenny] Dimple?
- Yes?
- If you messed this up,
I will cut off your Von Dumpling.
- Noted.
Thanks again, Jenny.
- [Jenny] Mhmm.
- Really appreciate it.
- [Jenny] Yup.
- Sir, I have received your markers
for the Von Cash Casino.
I have taken up your
note to Colonel Piquet
and paid your debts to Lord
Lurcher and Sir Henry Rook.
Enclosed are copies of these bills,
which I have no doubt
will be paid immediately.
If not, I am empowered to
use whatever means necessary
to settle your debts.
I am sir, your most humble
servant, John Hazard.
(tense music)
(clock ticking)
(light suspenseful music)
(clock tolling)
Hey there, geezer.
(glass shattering)
How's the old trouble and strife?
I'm sure she's just excited
to hear about your new job.
Let's say we start on Monday morning
in my office, settle up.
- Yep, Monday.
Monday sounds good.
We can, yeah, go over things and...
Yeah, Monday, Monday, Monday.
(light guitar music)
- "Had we but world enough, and time."
(Maria sighs)
(crickets chirping)
- Okay, okay, Jenny, I'm
going to try them all.
And I've got everything.
The red, the blue I've got it all.
Hey.
Just the man I want to see.
I have got something to show you.
Come with me.
- Oh, thank God, you saved my life.
- Shh, sit on the bed.
You got me all excited with
that love letter, William.
And now I want to give you something.
- Oh, yeah.
I like that.
- I thought you might.
Because I know exactly what you want.
- You always do.
- [Charlee] Wait for it.
- Wow!
- I know, right?
Mhmm.
(both giggling)
You got me all hot and bothered.
- Yeah, you know what, I just realized.
I couldn't, I left the
burner on downstairs.
- Well what about the
burner that's on upstairs?
- Yeah, ooh, yeah!
Flaming hot, yeah.
I really need to turn that burner off.
- Come on William, I know you want this.
- Oh I do, I do, I do.
I do, I do, I do, I really do.
I do, I do, I do, I do.
I do.
But I really gotta turn
that burner off, baby,
and I will be right back.
- [Charlee] Now don't
make me wait too long.
'Cause I got plans for you, boy. (laughs)
(Dimple exclaiming)
- Ah, oh!
Oh, baby, hey.
- Hiya.
- Hi, baby.
- I'm working on this thought.
I've got a really awesome
thought about the book.
- Okay.
- Just give me a second and
I'll be right back.
- Okay?
- [Henry] The thing is, she'll be happier.
- [Nate] At least you got horns.
- Nate, I can't stop thinking about her.
- You got to talk to her,
tell her how you feel.
You're the Colonel, man.
You the man.
- You're right, you're right.
- Do it!
- You're right, you're right.
I'm going to take care of this.
(Maria gasps)
(door slams)
(crickets chirping)
(chill blues guitar music)
- You okay?
You guys grew up together.
You're marrying an educated man, you said.
Plus, you're running the family business.
- Dad.
I want true love.
- [Gray] Don't we all?
- Marriage is serious.
- [Gray] Absolutely.
- Marriage is not something
that I want to rush into.
It's tied to happiness for me.
- That's true.
But baby, you knew this day was coming.
You should be happy.
You know,
I remember the day when
I popped the question
to your mother.
She was over the moon.
- It's 'cause she married
the man of her dreams.
- Oh, spoken from someone
who's a little unbiased.
(both laugh)
Dimple's a decent guy.
- Ugh, daddy, no.
- [Gray] He is.
He comes from a solid family.
What more could you ask for?
- Butterflies.
True love.
I want to come home
and see my best friend.
- Yeah, and you'll have all those things.
You will.
I love you to pieces, you know that?
- I know.
- Be brave.
I'll see that both you and
he are well taken care of.
- (sighs) For you, Daddy,
I will follow through.
- That's my girl. (chuckles)
Hey, stay focused.
And don't you ever, ever doubt.
Love you.
- I love you.
(crickets chirping)
- (sighs) Maria, can you
take a seat for a minute?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing's wrong.
I just need to get something off my chest.
- Okay.
- Maria.
I haven't been able to
stop thinking about you
since we first met.
And I've always been
someone with a clear head
and focus in front of him.
And I've never felt like this before,
and I don't know what to do about it.
And I know that we just met earlier today
and I know this is crazy,
but it feels like I've
known you my entire life.
And I know, and I know
if I don't say something,
I'm going to regret it for the rest of it.
Maria.
I love you.
- This can't happen.
We can't.
This is not going to happen.
I am set to marry the man
that my father loves for me to marry.
I can't break it off now,
it would break his heart.
- You're going to marry
a man that you don't love
because he has your father's approval?
The man you're about to marry is a fraud.
We all can see it, why can't you?
- Don't talk to me like that.
I'm capable of making my own decisions.
- Yes, and that's disappointing.
And if you don't feel the same
way about me, that's fine.
- Oh please.
- Yes, that's fine.
But I'm not going to stay here
and watch you marry someone
that you don't belong with.
- Henry.
- I have five words for you.
Goodbye, Mrs. Maria Von dumpling.
- Henry, don't.
Don't go.
(car revving)
(Maria sobbing)
- For lady, you deserve the state
nor would I love at a lower rate.
Yours, Dimple.
Always the romantic.
And age, at least to every part,
and the last age should know your heart.
What are you saying, Mr. Dimple?
Hmm.
- For lady, you deserve the state
nor would I love at a lower rate.
(Charlee humming)
- (chuckles) For lady,
you deserve the state.
Nor would I love at a lower rate. (laughs)
Gotcha. (humming)
(somber rock music)
- But at my back, I always hear
time's winged chariot hurrying near.
(Maria sobbing)
I just wanna catch you
For another bad dream
Took a little bit of
rhythm and bravery
- Snap.
What am I doing?
I can't believe this.
Okay, okay.
Think about it, think about it.
I always have a plan.
This is not part of the plan.
Oh my god, that's Nate doing.
It's just so smooth and confident.
I'm in control.
I'm a Colonel, and I'm going to come down
and give you the orders that
you're going to love me.
That's it, me and you.
What are you doing, just, just, (sighing)
Just be smooth, be calm, be smooth.
Be like Nate.
Not like water, be like Nate.
Okay.
(car revving)
(birds chirping)
- I can't do it, man.
I am scared of this woman.
I ain't been scared of a girl before.
- You need to suck it up.
- Shit.
(sighs) You're right.
How are you doing?
I thought I saw you leaving last night.
- Oh, I tried to leave.
I told Maria that I loved her.
- [Nate] Well, you got balls, man.
- Can I ask you for some advice, Sergeant?
- [Nate] Yeah, absolutely.
- What the hell am I doing here?
I'm in love with a woman
who's marrying someone else.
And for some reason,
I couldn't just leave.
- [Nate] It's tough, man.
- And the worst thing is,
I don't think he's right for her.
I really don't trust him.
- Remember when we were
in Afghanistan together
and we were in that village in the north,
and we stopped to help
that man and his son?
Our orders were to keep moving,
keep moving 'cause they will reports
of hostiles in that area.
But you thought it was
the right thing to do
to disobey that command and help that man.
Well, you did the right thing then,
and you'll do the right thing now.
- [Henry] I've tried.
- Well then maybe that's not it.
Can we stay here
Don't think we'll
make it down the road
I'll go the long way
Just to leave you where you are
You are
- And it was so much fun playing
with Maria again last night.
We haven't done that since college.
She really should have been a singer.
- Yeah, she's really good.
She loves her career.
- Yeah.
- And she's good at it.
- [Jenny] Mhmm, that too.
- Hey, what do you want?
- Good morning.
What's in the Dutch baby?
- It doesn't say.
- That's why I'm asking, Einstein.
I'll take the Eggs Benedict.
- [Frank] We don't have any of that.
We just ran out, sorry about that.
- I'll grab the oatmeal, then.
- We don't have any more of that either.
- Jesus, what do you have?
- So if you look right here, cereal.
- Is it gluten-free?
- You're asking a lot of questions.
Do you want me to step away,
smoke this cigarette and come back to you?
- You know what?
I'll take the cereal and a big whiskey.
- All right.
- [Dimple] Don't bother ordering anything,
the service here sucks.
- It's not that bad.
- Do you know where Maria is right now?
- She's probably getting ready
for her wedding day, no doubt.
- Hey, I need to go find her.
I found this in the
living room this morning.
- [Charlee] What's that?
- It's a love letter from Dimple.
It's actually pretty sweet.
I thought he was such an asshole,
but I talked to him last night
and he doesn't seem so bad.
- Yeah, that's nice.
- Yeah.
- You know what?
I've got to go up to her room anyway,
so why don't I just
take that?
- It's okay, I mean I'm,
I'm almost done here anyway, I got it.
- I'm taking it, give it to me.
- What?
- That girl is driving me crazy.
- No luck, huh?
- Nah, man.
I'm running out of material.
I've never had this trouble before.
Somehow, it just makes her hotter.
- Yeah, with Jenny,
she just doesn't like the
whole suave stuck routine.
Just try being yourself, act natural.
- Hasn't been looking good lately.
- Nate, what up man?
How you doing brother?
Dude, that suit is bad ass.
You should get a suit like this.
Dude thanks so much for
the advice the other night.
I killed it with her, I appreciate it.
- Sorry to interrupt your bro time.
But where's the milk?
- Oh yeah by the way,
we don't have any more milk,
but that cereal is off the chain.
You need to just have it.
- How am I going to eat
cereal without milk?
- [Frank] I don't know, Nipple, right?
- It's Dimple.
My friends call me Dimple.
You can call me Sir.
- [Frank] I'm sorry, Sir Nipple.
Do you want the cereal or not?
- No, I can eat it.
- [Frank] Cool.
Asshole.
- Excuse me?
You know what?
I'm going to write the worst review
these guys have ever had.
- Come on, man.
At least he's honest,
you got to respect that.
- What?
- Hmm?
- You know what?
I'm going to find that crusty old manager
and I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind.
Gramps!
- You, now.
(tense music)
What's this?
You plan to break it off with the Maria?
You promised me.
- Char?
How could you?
Love letters to Charlee, my best friend?
- Any man that has your affection
can resist temptation, babe.
- No that's crap, and you know it.
- [Charlee] I agree.
- Ladies, this is a joyous moment.
Don't you see?
I love you both.
- What are you talking about?
- We all marry.
Come on over, let me run you through it.
I figured everything out
all legally, and everything.
(slaps whacking)
Ah!
Wait, wait right there for one sec.
Good riddance!
Well that worked.
Did I tell you how
beautiful you look today?
- No, I'm leaving.
- No, honestly.
Just listen to me, okay?
- Dimple.
- Look, she was a bad egg, okay?
Now, I got cold feet, I admit it.
- It doesn't matter.
- We've been together
forever,
- Dimple, stop.
- And she came onto me one night,
and in my moment of weakness,
and one thing led to another,
but it doesn't matter.
- I don't wanna hear it.
- She's a bad egg
and it's best
that she's gone.
- I don't want to hear it
Dimple.
- Look, listen.
- No, no, no.
- Just sit down
and listen for a second, okay?
Who needs her?
We can get through anything, baby.
We've been through everything!
- Dimple!
It's over.
- No!
It's over when I say it's over.
- [Maria] What?
No, Dimple,
stop it!
- Shh.
- Dimple, no!
- Hold still!
- Maria?
Maria!
Maria!
- Watch out, watch out, watch out.
Get off of her!
- No, wait, no!
(Dimple growling)
(punch bashing)
Thank you.
- Don't worry.
Let's go.
- Yeah.
Come swallow this sword, GI Joe.
- I would never cross swords with you.
But you can't handle this one, trust me.
(rifle booming)
(Dimple exclaiming)
- Baby.
- What the hell is going on?
- It's not me, it's them.
They've lost it.
- Holy crap, I'm about to kick some ass.
Did you try and kill the Colonel?
- Steady Nate, he can't hurt me.
- I mean, I'd like to see him try.
I'll show you how Yankee boys play.
- What happened here?!
- Damn quick!
- You betrayed us!
You dirty dog.
- Dimple can explain.
It'd be quite the story
for a future father-in-law.
Let's hear it.
- Sir, I was talking with
your daughter on the couch
and then this brute attacked me!
- Bullcrap!
Maria, what happened?
- He's lying!
- No!
- He attacked me, Dad, he attacked me!
- You lying-
(knee bashing)
(Dimple screeching)
My Von Dumpling!
Sir, I can't really get
into specifics here,
but if you want to go
into private, we can chat.
- You have nothing else to say to me,
except what is this about
a debt with Mr. Hazard?
- Who told you?
You're going to hear from my lawyer.
- And you from me.
(Dimple snapping)
- (groaning) Fine.
You watch how I leave,
the man who's received
the polish of Europe.
Guys, let's think about this, come on.
(Dimple grunting)
- [Frank] I'm going to keep your scarf.
(Jenny growling)
- You know what?
I don't need any of you.
I'm on to bigger and better things
and I can grow my man bun back!
(door slamming)
- I'm so sorry.
Everything is ruined.
- No daddy, it's not.
It's really not.
- Sir?
- Maria, how long have you known this guy?
- Not long.
We met accidentally.
- Well, I heard what my baby girl say
about how much he loves her dad
and how she would do anything
for him to make him happy.
And you.
You talk very prudently.
I checked you out.
You kept focus.
Welcome to the family.
- Sir, I-
- No.
No need to find speeches,
just keep the focus
and we'll always agree.
- Daddy, thank you.
Thank you.
Can we have a minute?
Charlee.
- I am so sorry.
God, I'm such an idiot.
I didn't know you were engaged
until I got the invitations,
and then Dimple said everything
was going to be fine.
God, I should have told you.
I'm so ashamed.
- [Maria] I know.
- Sir, sir, excuse me.
My name is William Von Dumpling
and I would really,
really appreciate a ride.
Come here.
Here, hold this.
And be careful, it's tailored.
(Dimple grunting)
See you later, losers!
You'll regret this, Maria! (laughs)
- Mr. Von Dumpling.
How about we settle your debts?
- Open the door.
Open the door.
- Drive.
- Open the door.
Open the door!
Open the door!
(screams) No, not that finger!
(screams) Not the finger!
(light guitar music)
- Even the Brit drives American.
(Jenny chuckles)
Oh, a real laugh?
- Nate, you're pretty funny
when you're not trying.
- What is that supposed to mean?
- It means you're charming when
you're just being yourself.
- [Nate] Thank you.
I guess.
- Now if I can just teach you how to sing
you'll be a 10.
Well, not a 10, close enough.
- Wow.
Are we rating guys now?
- Mhmm.
- I mean you could teach me how to sing.
As long as it isn't Yankee Doodle.
- You're right.
- I'll take it.
Yankee Doodle went to
town riding on a pony
Stuck a feather in his hat
And called it macaroni
- I hate you.
- That went a lot better in my head.
- Henry, there's something I need to do.
Is that the Acme 10 gauge?
- Yeah.
- I'll take it.
- [Frank] I'm going to let her shoot it.
I've seen you shoot.
- I'm fine with that.
- Let's go.
Pull!
(rifle booming)
- Maria.
There's something I have to tell you.
I may be sent back overseas.
- Five words, soldier.
I will wait for you.
(light guitar music)
(upbeat rock music)
Yeah
I once was lost in the world
I once was lost far away from here
And now the lonely girl
With no direction no
road to take my dear
- Like this?
You do that, I will punch you in the face.
- Let's say we start Monday morning.
Settle up.
- (laughs) Sorry.
- Talking like full
pension, 401k. (laughs)
I have had enough
Had to rise above
All the damn chaos
Now I know, now I know what I wanna do
Now I know, now I know
where I wanna go from here
Go from here
Now I know, now I know,
now I know the truth
Now I know, now I know, now I know
That I can see so clear
Now I own the world
The sun and the moon in my two hands
I fly through the stars
I got the earth in my command
I had had enough
Had to rise above
All the damn chaos
Now I know, now I know what I wanna do
Now I know, now I know
where I wanna go from here
Go from here
Now I know, now I know,
now I know the truth
Now I know, now I know, now I know
That I can see so clear
Even though the chips may fall
I won't shy away at all
Back me up against the wall
I'm still standing 10 feet tall
As the dust clears
- Here we go, sir.
A very, very special bouquet.
- (laughs) Sorry.
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- If you're chasing someone down
and you roll your ankle, covered.
- [Dimple] Who do you
use, is it like Kozer
or is it like a generic?
- So, it's Aflac, so
what happens is, (laughs)
Hey there, geezer!
- [Man] Okay, we're gonna reset that.
Les, you can go, you can
go a little. (laughs)
You can go a little.
You can tilt down a little more.
- [Dimple] I'm clenching
my ass pretty hard, Liz.
It might cramp hard soon.
(light guitar music)
I've been searching for miles
I've been searching for truth
Wash away the denials
I've been searching for you
I've been working so hard
All the whole night through
All the time I was losing
So glad I found you
Leave the past in the past
We'll make this love last
Holding on till the light is gone
And I know that I am home with you
And I know that I am home with you
And I know that I am home with you
And I know that I am home with you
(gentle piano music)
(music swelling)
- Ah, this is a beautiful
place for our wedding.
- Only the best for my baby.
- Welcome to the...
nice scarf.
- Thank you.
So key's inside, luggage is in the back.
- I don't do luggage,
I just drive the car.
- Okay.
- There's a tip jar inside.
- Guess we're doing this.
- I guess so.
- Whoah, hey, just give us a moment, okay?
- You know, my dad's gonna
be more excited to see you
than I think he is to see me.
- Yeah, he knows you're
going to get looked after.
Hey, please don't smoke in my car, okay?
- I can smell it.
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
- Hey!
- Hey!
How are you?
- I'm good, how are you?
- I'm good.
Yeah.
- Good to see you.
- [Dimple] You want a hand?
- [Charlee] Yeah, please, thank you.
- [Dimple] What do you got in here?
- [Charlee] Wedding supplies.
- [Dimple] Allow me.
- [Charlee] Thank you.
(clubs clattering)
- Geez, babe.
- Ooh.
- On behalf of the Royal
Tyler, I welcome you.
Refreshments are at the bar.
Driving range is out back.
And sporting clays are down the path.
Tonight's dinner, 6:00 PM.
Tomorrow's the big day.
Wedding service, 2:00 PM, sharp.
- Sporting clays?
- Yeah we're going to go shooting.
- Ooh.
- They do shooting here?
Ugh, great.
Guns and hillbillies.
(Charlee laughs)
- Time for drinks! (chuckling)
Get your drink on, get your drink on,
get your drink on, get your drink on...
(fast-paced rock music)
(cat mewing)
- Sorry baby.
You're gonna have to wait one more night
till you get all of this.
- Oh dear, what's a girl to do?
- I don't know.
- Well, at least I have my wine.
You know, I think I'm
actually gonna go out
and practice my golf swing.
Explore the grounds, you know?
- Yeah.
Yeah, good idea.
Sorry, I got so much work
to do with this publisher.
He's like demanding so
much of me right now.
- [Maria] Yeah.
No, I get it.
I'll see you later.
- Okay.
(playful guitar music)
- Hey!
- Hey!
Hi!
- Hi!
- How is everything?
- Look at you.
- Where's your guitar?
Did you finally give up on music?
- Not yet.
I wish I could do anything else.
- Well, I'm doing great.
Maria hooked me up with this huge account.
- Ooh, that's awesome.
You still try to marry every guy you date?
- At least I can find a guy.
- Yeah, I just don't believe
in love at first sight.
- Yeah.
- [Maria] Hey.
- Hey!
- Oh!
- Oh girls, you guys look so good.
Okay, hold on let me
put this big bag down.
It's really good to see you guys.
- It's too bad it takes a wedding
for us to all get in the same room.
- I know, I agree.
Jenny, where's your guitar?
- Wow, am I just completely disappointing
without it? (laughs)
It's in the car.
You know, if I play, you're
going to have to sing.
- Oh no, no, no, no, no.
I don't do that anymore, I
am strictly a shower singer.
- Mhmm, and she'll still be better at it
than the rest of us.
(girls laugh)
- Girls, I'm really happy you came out.
It's my big day.
And it means a lot that
you're sharing it with me.
So, thank you.
Anyways, I got to go
practice, learn, whatever,
perfect my golf skills.
So, I will see you later.
- [Jenny] Oh, good luck with that.
- Grab some wine on your way out.
I think you're going to need it.
- I like the way you think, girl.
Bye.
- Bye, love you.
- Bye.
- Can you believe she's
going to marry Dimple?
- I don't want to.
(suspenseful music)
(car revving)
- Oh!
(body thudding)
- Oh no.
What happened?
Let me, let me, let me.
- (laughs) What's so funny?
- You slipped on a banana peel.
(Maria laughs)
How did you manage that?
- I don't know.
- That's not supposed
to happen in real life.
And what are these golf clubs for?
- They're for my work,
so give them back, okay?
- I wish I had your job.
- Do you play?
- Oh, I'm terrible.
- Me too.
(fast-paced rock music)
- Hey!
They told me you were out here.
- You made it!
God, it's so good to see you.
Have a seat.
- All right. (clears throat)
- How's dad?
Have you seen him yet?
- Not yet.
I'm headed there after this.
- Well, it was nice for you to stop by
and help us out first.
- Of course, I couldn't be
in the area and not see you.
- So how long you home for?
- Just a few weeks.
I'm headed to D.C. at
the end of the month,
to lobby at the VA there.
- Well it's good you're getting
some political experience.
Who knows, maybe that's
what's next for you.
- I don't know about that.
I was thinking about doing another tour.
- What?
Why?
Aren't you ready to
settle down with someone?
- I haven't really thought about it
and I haven't found the right person yet.
But enough about me.
What about you?
Where's your knight in shining armor?
- Well, I met someone.
But it's complicated.
- That doesn't sound reassuring.
- No, he's great.
It's just,
he's got a lot going on.
- Well, whatever it is,
I hope he's better than the last guy.
- Hey now!
(both laughing)
- I just want you to be happy is all.
- Okay, dad.
- Hey Charlee, have you
seen the napkin rings?
Hi.
- [Charlee] I think I know where they are.
But this is my brother Henry.
- Charlee, I knew you had a brother,
but this is not what I was expecting.
- He's handsome, right?
He stopped by to help us out
first, before he takes off.
- So, you're not gonna stay?
- I don't want to crash your wedding, and
besides, I have a colleague with me.
- Nonsense, he can be your plus one.
- Oh, he's a good time too.
The other guy, not Henry.
He's a stick in the mud. (laughs)
But I love him with all my heart.
- Thanks, sis.
- I'm gonna go find those napkin rings.
- Okay, great, thank you.
- I'll see you two later.
- Bye, sis.
- [Charlee] Bye.
- So, you're going to stay?
- Yeah, why not?
- Good.
I'll see you later.
- I hope so.
(lightly tense music)
- Sir, for the dinner,
we're having trouble running your card.
- How? I made a payment.
I'll write a check.
- [Host] Our policies are very strict.
- Use my card on file.
It's the least I can do
for my new son. (chuckling)
- Very good, sir.
See you at six.
- Six it is!
Yeah, hmm?
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Anytime.
(both laugh)
- Great.
(Dimple sighing)
That's a awesome suit.
You here for our wedding?
- Indirectly.
It's more of a working
holiday, I'm afraid.
- Oh, nice.
What line of work you in?
- I help individuals and businesses
acquire accounts receivable.
Cheers.
- Excellent niche.
You must do well.
- I am ruthless with deadbeats
and my clients are very private people.
- Wow, it sounds like exciting work.
How long have you been in America for?
- Just a few days.
- I just got back from Britain.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- How'd you get on?
- Great.
Made a lot of young adoring fans.
- Really?
- Check out my accent.
Good day, governor.
Fancy a cup of tea?
- That's charming. (chuckling)
You know, I could really use the help
from someone who truly
understands Americans.
How would you like a job?
- I'd love one.
- Terrific.
- Do you have dinner plans later?
- I don't.
- It's settled.
6:00 PM, the dining room.
Guest of honor.
- You really know how to
show a guy a good time.
I like that.
Mr. Von Dumpling, please do excuse me.
I need to go use the dog and bone.
- Dog and bone.
(light music)
En garde, sir!
Yeah!
There you go.
Good as new. (chuckling)
(chimes tinkling)
(birds chirping)
- Are we in the right place?
(rock music)
- Yep.
- Okay.
- Should I get you guys some golf balls?
- Do you want to go shooting instead?
- Yeah, let's try that.
- Where's the shooting range?
- You're standing on it.
- I thought this was the driving range.
- You're standing on that too.
- Wait the guy, the host, he said that
there's a path to get to the driving range
and then in the back,
there's another range.
- Yeah, you take the
path to get to the back.
Do not believe that guy, he's full of it.
- Let's go shoot then.
- Excellent choice.
I'll take the 12 gauge.
- 410.
- Okay.
Hope you don't mind waiting.
- I can't believe it.
(fast-paced rock music)
Where the heck is he?
- They did not set this place up well.
- He is taking his sweet time.
- [Frank] Right here guys.
- Oh, hey.
- Check it out.
- Thank you.
- Exactly what you guys
wanted.
- Nice.
- Do you mind going to
operate the machine?
I'm just going to take a few real quick.
- No, no, no, that's your job.
Let me do mine.
- Get out of here.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- What the heck is his problem?
- We'll see.
- Pull!
(rifle booming)
- [Henry] Pull!
(rifle booming)
- You are really bad at this.
- You win.
- You know, winning isn't everything.
- Oh really?
- No, I love to win,
let's go again. (laughs)
- [Henry] You know,
it's so nice.
- I know,
and then he changes his voice,
he's like I'm tired of asking for this.
- Yeah yeah, you know?
- It's hilarious.
- It's weird.
I feel like I know you already.
- There you are!
I've been looking for you everywhere.
Hey, I'm dying for a drink.
Can we do like a margarita light ice,
just a little bit of salt around the rim,
not too much, thank you.
- Wait, I don't work here.
- Oh, Hey.
With the bags,
we're staying at the very top, okay?
So just put them up right up the top.
Not the second floor,
but the top floor, okay?
The tippy top, you got it?
- Uh-uh.
- Thank you.
What a nice guy.
- He doesn't work here.
- Oh.
Oh.
So where's this other guy?
(military flute music)
- [Man] Over here, you jarhead.
- That's Colonel Jar Head to you.
- Man, what took you?
Did you not read the signs?
- Ain't nothing gets past me.
- So what, you take the wrong path?
What's wrong with your eyes?
- It was the right path.
So which room is Charlee Manley's?
I'm her brother.
- Thank you for your service, sir.
Room 17, rear left.
Glad to have you here, Colonel.
On the house.
I'm happy to house our servicemen anytime.
(light guitar music)
I walk away
Pretending everything's okay
It burns a blaze they took my soul
I know truth
What I did before didn't mean no
- Hey.
Thanks for the help, guys.
I'm William, William Von Dumpling.
- Oh, you're the groom.
- Yeah, guilty as charged.
Charlee's brother, I get it.
In the service, right?
Yeah.
She talks about you, okay.
Nice to finally meet you.
And sorry about before.
- No problem.
And I thank you for letting
me be a part of your wedding.
And this is my plus one, Nate.
- Howdy.
We're together.
- Oh.
- Oh, no.
Not together, together,
not like that together.
Speaking of together, who was that girl
that just crossed here with a guitar?
- Oh, that's Jenny.
She's crazy.
But, she's a great musician.
(door knocking)
- No, no, come in.
- Oh.
Can I talk to you for a second?
- Yeah, of course.
- What should I do?
- [Charlee] Follow your heart.
- That would crush my dad, literally.
- Who's getting married?
- It's just, why can't I
see the good side of Dimple?
- Yeah, he's awesome.
Your family's really this tight?
- I would do anything for my dad.
I would live in poverty.
- That's cool, but...
- I would marry a wimp.
- Well, that is not Dimple.
He cares so much for the environment,
for everyone.
He'll be fine.
- Yeah, he will.
(Dimple sighing)
- Lots of foreign cars here.
- Yeah, that Beamer's sick.
You have a car like that,
everybody wants a piece of your burrito.
- I'm more of a fajita guy.
- Man, I go crazy for a good chalupa.
How about you?
- Burrito?
- You don't sound so sure about that.
- Well, yeah, it was part
of the joke, you know,
with the euphemism of the...
- I know what it's for.
- Yeah, well look, I got a lot to do,
being a groom and all.
So I better head back inside.
So, thank you again for the help.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mmm.
(tense music)
- Hold yourself together, Charlee.
You got this.
(door knocking)
Oh, it's you.
- Hey.
I finally met your brother.
Striking resemblance.
- (chuckling) Thanks for noticing.
I got that a lot growing up.
- How are you holding up?
- I'm all right.
- It has to be this way,
you know that right?
- You keep saying that.
- I still like you.
It's just that I'm
marrying Maria tomorrow.
Doesn't mean that we still
can't have our thing.
And you still drive me crazy.
You know, I haven't slept with Maria
since I've been sleeping with you.
- Well then why can't we be together?
- Because, I need to marry Maria.
I mean, something drastic
would have to happen
for us to be together.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Are you Colonel Manley's servant?
- I work with Colonel Manley.
- Yeah right, Seal.
What's the difference?
- I look better in uniform.
- [Jenny] I'm sure you do.
- I really do.
- Women like a well-mannered
man in uniform.
It makes them all want burritos.
(both laugh)
Right?
No?
- You stole that from Dimple.
- No, no I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.
Crass doesn't come from you.
- Man.
He tried it on us earlier.
I don't know what to think about that guy.
- I don't like him.
- Why is that?
- A friend of mine knew him before Maria
and he was an asshole to her.
He has this way of manipulating people
into this false sense of security.
She told me he took her out
to this empty field at night
and started making moves on her.
She was a virgin.
- I mean,
can you really blame a guy
for trying to get laid?
- You can when he's lying to people.
- Yeah.
I guess.
- She had a really hard time after that.
- Why, what happened?
- She died.
- (sighs) Boy.
- (laughs) Your face.
- [Nate] What about my face?
- No, she's totally fine.
She has a husband and two kids.
And at least he paid for the abortion.
- Man, that's messed up.
- [Jenny] Told you so.
- Dimple's a dick.
- [Charlee] Hey, I'm not carrying this.
- Thanks.
- Your room's the last one
on the left.
- Thank you.
- Make sure you wear something nice.
- I will!
- And not that shirt you always wear.
I know you think it looks
good, but it doesn't.
- No promises.
Hey, about your friend I met earlier.
- Forget about it, soldier.
She's taken. (chuckling)
Wait!
Wait!
(crickets chirping)
A new story, a new face
- Keep it together, Maria.
Keep it together.
(fast-paced rock music)
- Franklin Godfried Tyler.
I know this isn't your favorite
thing to do every summer.
I need you to pay attention.
Could you try, just try to
offer better customer service.
- Okay.
- Because it doesn't seem
like you care all that much.
- No, I don't, Uncle Tobias.
All right, the only reason I'm here
is because aunt June makes you hire me
every single year, it sucks.
This hotel sucks!
- If you mess up, my you'll-
- Oh, I don't care.
- Hello.
I hope you're enjoying your
stay at the Royal Tyler.
We'll have dinner ready in a moment.
Good evening.
Tonight's menu is from Martha Washington's
original recipe book as written in 1789.
Can everyone please take their seats?
As is our custom here at the Royal Tyler,
we would like to offer a
blessing for this meal.
Could someone lead us in a word of prayer?
- Mhmm.
- Go ahead, sir.
- Dear Lord.
Thank you for this food, Lord.
I want to thank you for
friends and family, Lord.
And thank you for blessing
us, Lord, with this fine meal,
and with all these fine women.
People, fine people, Lord, amen.
- [Everyone] Amen.
(energetic string music)
(guests chattering)
- (snapping) Gramps.
You got any good stuff?
Like from Europe, preferably French wine?
- French?
For you, certainly, sir.
- It's nice to see you in
that vest for a change,
instead of a scarf.
- I don't know, Gray,
I think you'd look good in one of those.
- Oh, why don't you read my book?
I cover a chapter of wine.
Yeah, Mr. Dimple.
- It was pretty bold of you
to sell your father's business
to start a book.
- Yeah, yeah.
I think it's going to
be a big hit, though.
- What's the title of
the book going to be?
- Oh, I don't want to
bore you about my book.
It's, you know, new signs
for this environmental
activism and blah blah.
- How about we get some wine from this?
Oh, it's a great bouquet.
It's from,
Spitaly.
- He and I had some great
times working together.
I just wish he was still here
to see you and Maria now.
- Psst, Jenny.
What do you think about Nate?
- [Jenny] He's cute, but I'm not sold.
- Oh, come on.
- Here it is, sir.
I went to the depths of
the cellar for this one.
Way in the back.
Dusted it off just for you.
Enjoy, my friend.
- He pretended to not
know how to pick up girls.
Oldest trick in the book.
But I see through him.
- Cheers.
Yeah.
Mm-mm.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- There's a little bit
of sediment in it too,
which is actually a good thing.
- Can you believe this guy?
- High in tannins.
Mmm, really sweet.
- [Both] What an ass.
- [Jenny] What's the
deal with you and Dimple?
- What do you mean?
- It's obvious you guys have been spending
a lot of time together.
- Let's all raise our glasses
to a toast for the newlyweds,
Dimple and Maria.
- Okay, we're doing this.
Toast time! (sighing)
Gray, thank you for everything.
I feel really lucky
to have known you
and to be included in your family,
and for everything you've
done for me and Maria.
And I know I've been busy and caught up
with the book and everything,
and traveling to Europe and...
But, I'm really proud
to call you my fiancee
and I'm really looking
forward to tomorrow.
And I'm glad everybody's here,
even though my dad isn't, but Gray,
I'm glad you're here.
So, to dad, to Gray,
and to my babe.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
(Charlee coughs)
- So this guy here, guest of honor,
he offered me a job and I took it.
It's in finance, it's a
little bit rough and tumble.
We haven't kind of ironed out all the
crinkles yet.
- Okay, yeah.
- Congratulations, sir.
Maria is an amazing lady.
- The fruit doesn't fall
too far from the tree.
- No, sir.
It does not.
- Dimple, I'm so proud of you.
I always knew you'd land on your feet.
- I like you, Henry.
I wish I had a son like you.
- Thank you, sir.
- If I could encourage everyone
to move into the living room,
we have a wonderful crackling fire.
- Sounds nice.
Yeah, let's go.
- [Mr. Hazard] Mr. Von Dumpling.
May we have a word for a moment?
- I'll be right there.
- Okay.
- There are a few things that
I'd like to go over with you.
Is this a good time?
- Yeah, of course.
I've got my whole life to spend with her.
- Great.
Now, I think that this particular client
is going to be rather difficult.
And that is what I could
use your hand with.
- How do you deal with difficult clients?
- Easy, intimidation.
Other collectors will jerk
you around for six months
and send you a letters,
or make phone calls
that get easily ignored.
It's not even the same area code.
I like to go straight to
the mark and get results.
Can I show you something?
- Yeah.
(Dimples retching)
- I know, right?
It's absolutely garish.
Look closely.
Here.
Look good, don't they?
Ordinarily, showing them
the jar is quite enough.
Occasionally though, you
do have to add to it.
- What about something less invasive?
- The nice thing about fingers
is that people always take them with them.
You can do it anywhere.
Now, it's a great incentive program.
The faster somebody pays,
- The less likely they are,
- To lose a finger, correct.
You get it.
You're smart.
I think you might be
good at this after all.
How about you start on Monday?
- Yeah, Monday.
- Great.
- Awesome.
- Until then.
- [Dimple] Yeah.
Thank you so much.
(suspenseful music)
(fire crackling)
(light guitar music)
- I think you're right, man.
Here we go.
Cheers.
Oh, dear.
What is that?
- [Jenny] It's a guitar.
- I know what it is, but
what are you playing?
- Something I wrote.
You play?
- The piano, it's my weapon of choice.
- I'll believe it when I see it.
- Be prepared to be impressed.
I've been playing since I was six.
Yankee doodle went to town
Riding on a pony
Stuck a feather in his hat
And called it macaroni
Stopped playing when I was seven.
- My ears are crying.
Maria.
Mhmm.
Let's do this.
1, 2, 3.
I'm a Yankee Doodle dandy
A Yankee Doodle, do or die
The real live niece of my Uncle Sam
Born on the fourth of July
I've got a Yankee Doodle sweetheart
He's my Yankee Doodle world
Yankee Doodle went to London
Just to ride a pony
I am a Yankee Doodle girl
- Woo!
(Maria laughing)
- Amazing, amazing.
- [Maria] Thank you.
You didn't know I could sing.
- I did not.
(chill R&B music)
- I think I officially retire.
- I think that would be best for everyone.
- Look at these two.
What a pair.
- He's trying.
- Yeah, I mean, that's not gonna work.
- (chuckles) Tell me about it.
- You see that up there?
That's the little dipper,
also known as Ursa minor.
Now if you know nothing
about constellations,
that'd be the bare minimum.
- Really?
- Yup.
I tried to look for it myself once.
I had to do my research.
Turns out the difference
was night and day.
- Ha-ha.
- What about you?
You working on anyone?
- Just myself.
- Oh.
(Henry chuckles)
Yeah right, Colonel,
sure.
- Mhmm.
(punch bashing)
(Nate groaning)
- Oh, not what I expected.
- Oof. (laughs)
- Really?
- [Nate] What did I do?
- Look at my eyes.
- [Nate] No.
- Look at them.
- Those are witch eyes.
- [Jenny] What were you thinking?
- For one, I thought you'd like it.
- [Jenny] Ugh.
- Dimple was right about you.
You are crazy.
- You ain't seen nothing yet.
- Hey buddy, I guess it didn't work out.
- Yep, still got it.
- Hey, let's get you back inside, man.
Let's go.
- Okay.
- Come on.
- (sighs) Girl, what happened?
I thought you liked that guy.
- I do, he just...
He has a big head.
- He does kind of, doesn't he? (laughs)
- Sometimes, I don't know if
men are worth the trouble.
Women never gave me this kind of drama.
- That's true.
- You're getting married tomorrow.
- [Maria And Jenny] Whoa!
- Charlee.
- That was not there before. (laughs)
You're getting married tomorrow.
- [Maria] Yeah.
- How does that feel?
You're not happy, are you?
- No, I mean,
I am, I should be.
I was telling Jenny earlier,
I'm just getting cold feet.
- Well, that is perfectly
normal. (chuckles)
It's perfectly normal.
But, you gotta follow your heart.
- She's right, you know?
- [Charlee] Mhmm.
- Yeah, no I am, I am following my heart.
Dimple is such a great guy.
He's... (sighs)
He was different.
He was the old Dimple.
He was so sweet tonight, at dinner.
And, he's just been stressed, you know?
He's got the publisher
thing with his book.
That's all.
- He should still be making time for you.
- [Charlee] Mhmm.
- Yeah.
- I'm going to talk to him.
- [Maria] No, Jenny,
no, no, Jenny.
- I need to, I need to.
- No, Jenny, don't do that.
- I have to.
- Jenny, don't say something stupid.
I just hope she's not hard on him.
- Oh girl, everything's
going to be all right.
She's going to go, (laughs)
I'm going to go talk to her.
- Yeah?
- Mhmm.
- Okay.
- I'm gonna talk to her. (laughs)
I got to get something from her anyway.
Bye.
- Bye.
- Hello, Jenny.
Can you do something for me?
- No.
- I am William Von Dumpling's employer,
and I need something delivered to him.
- And why can't you do that?
- I don't want to disturb him
with work before his big day.
- What is it?
- A benefits package.
- Hmm.
That's weird.
Whatever, I'll do it.
Wait, since when does Dimple have a...
It's hot.
Just the man I was looking for!
- Jenny!
How are you doing?
- [Jenny] What are you doing?
- Nothing.
- It doesn't look like nothing.
- (sighs) Listen, Jenny.
Jenster, Jenny Poo.
- Don't call me that.
- Okay.
Don't tell Maria.
- [Jenny] Don't tell Maria what?
- I saw her
with that guy Henry,
and I got a little jealous.
So I wanted to do something nice for her.
Write her a little poem, you know,
put some rose petals on the bed,
get her excited about
the big day tomorrow.
I'm just so busy with my book that
I feel like I'm neglecting her.
- Okay.
I believe you.
But here's a letter from
that creepy guy outside.
He said it was a benefits package,
but he looked like a debt collector.
- How did you know he's a debt collector?
- I dated one.
- He gave off the same vibe-
- [Jenny] She.
- Okay, thank you for that.
- Mhmm.
- I'll get that.
- [Jenny] Dimple?
- Yes?
- If you messed this up,
I will cut off your Von Dumpling.
- Noted.
Thanks again, Jenny.
- [Jenny] Mhmm.
- Really appreciate it.
- [Jenny] Yup.
- Sir, I have received your markers
for the Von Cash Casino.
I have taken up your
note to Colonel Piquet
and paid your debts to Lord
Lurcher and Sir Henry Rook.
Enclosed are copies of these bills,
which I have no doubt
will be paid immediately.
If not, I am empowered to
use whatever means necessary
to settle your debts.
I am sir, your most humble
servant, John Hazard.
(tense music)
(clock ticking)
(light suspenseful music)
(clock tolling)
Hey there, geezer.
(glass shattering)
How's the old trouble and strife?
I'm sure she's just excited
to hear about your new job.
Let's say we start on Monday morning
in my office, settle up.
- Yep, Monday.
Monday sounds good.
We can, yeah, go over things and...
Yeah, Monday, Monday, Monday.
(light guitar music)
- "Had we but world enough, and time."
(Maria sighs)
(crickets chirping)
- Okay, okay, Jenny, I'm
going to try them all.
And I've got everything.
The red, the blue I've got it all.
Hey.
Just the man I want to see.
I have got something to show you.
Come with me.
- Oh, thank God, you saved my life.
- Shh, sit on the bed.
You got me all excited with
that love letter, William.
And now I want to give you something.
- Oh, yeah.
I like that.
- I thought you might.
Because I know exactly what you want.
- You always do.
- [Charlee] Wait for it.
- Wow!
- I know, right?
Mhmm.
(both giggling)
You got me all hot and bothered.
- Yeah, you know what, I just realized.
I couldn't, I left the
burner on downstairs.
- Well what about the
burner that's on upstairs?
- Yeah, ooh, yeah!
Flaming hot, yeah.
I really need to turn that burner off.
- Come on William, I know you want this.
- Oh I do, I do, I do.
I do, I do, I do, I really do.
I do, I do, I do, I do.
I do.
But I really gotta turn
that burner off, baby,
and I will be right back.
- [Charlee] Now don't
make me wait too long.
'Cause I got plans for you, boy. (laughs)
(Dimple exclaiming)
- Ah, oh!
Oh, baby, hey.
- Hiya.
- Hi, baby.
- I'm working on this thought.
I've got a really awesome
thought about the book.
- Okay.
- Just give me a second and
I'll be right back.
- Okay?
- [Henry] The thing is, she'll be happier.
- [Nate] At least you got horns.
- Nate, I can't stop thinking about her.
- You got to talk to her,
tell her how you feel.
You're the Colonel, man.
You the man.
- You're right, you're right.
- Do it!
- You're right, you're right.
I'm going to take care of this.
(Maria gasps)
(door slams)
(crickets chirping)
(chill blues guitar music)
- You okay?
You guys grew up together.
You're marrying an educated man, you said.
Plus, you're running the family business.
- Dad.
I want true love.
- [Gray] Don't we all?
- Marriage is serious.
- [Gray] Absolutely.
- Marriage is not something
that I want to rush into.
It's tied to happiness for me.
- That's true.
But baby, you knew this day was coming.
You should be happy.
You know,
I remember the day when
I popped the question
to your mother.
She was over the moon.
- It's 'cause she married
the man of her dreams.
- Oh, spoken from someone
who's a little unbiased.
(both laugh)
Dimple's a decent guy.
- Ugh, daddy, no.
- [Gray] He is.
He comes from a solid family.
What more could you ask for?
- Butterflies.
True love.
I want to come home
and see my best friend.
- Yeah, and you'll have all those things.
You will.
I love you to pieces, you know that?
- I know.
- Be brave.
I'll see that both you and
he are well taken care of.
- (sighs) For you, Daddy,
I will follow through.
- That's my girl. (chuckles)
Hey, stay focused.
And don't you ever, ever doubt.
Love you.
- I love you.
(crickets chirping)
- (sighs) Maria, can you
take a seat for a minute?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing's wrong.
I just need to get something off my chest.
- Okay.
- Maria.
I haven't been able to
stop thinking about you
since we first met.
And I've always been
someone with a clear head
and focus in front of him.
And I've never felt like this before,
and I don't know what to do about it.
And I know that we just met earlier today
and I know this is crazy,
but it feels like I've
known you my entire life.
And I know, and I know
if I don't say something,
I'm going to regret it for the rest of it.
Maria.
I love you.
- This can't happen.
We can't.
This is not going to happen.
I am set to marry the man
that my father loves for me to marry.
I can't break it off now,
it would break his heart.
- You're going to marry
a man that you don't love
because he has your father's approval?
The man you're about to marry is a fraud.
We all can see it, why can't you?
- Don't talk to me like that.
I'm capable of making my own decisions.
- Yes, and that's disappointing.
And if you don't feel the same
way about me, that's fine.
- Oh please.
- Yes, that's fine.
But I'm not going to stay here
and watch you marry someone
that you don't belong with.
- Henry.
- I have five words for you.
Goodbye, Mrs. Maria Von dumpling.
- Henry, don't.
Don't go.
(car revving)
(Maria sobbing)
- For lady, you deserve the state
nor would I love at a lower rate.
Yours, Dimple.
Always the romantic.
And age, at least to every part,
and the last age should know your heart.
What are you saying, Mr. Dimple?
Hmm.
- For lady, you deserve the state
nor would I love at a lower rate.
(Charlee humming)
- (chuckles) For lady,
you deserve the state.
Nor would I love at a lower rate. (laughs)
Gotcha. (humming)
(somber rock music)
- But at my back, I always hear
time's winged chariot hurrying near.
(Maria sobbing)
I just wanna catch you
For another bad dream
Took a little bit of
rhythm and bravery
- Snap.
What am I doing?
I can't believe this.
Okay, okay.
Think about it, think about it.
I always have a plan.
This is not part of the plan.
Oh my god, that's Nate doing.
It's just so smooth and confident.
I'm in control.
I'm a Colonel, and I'm going to come down
and give you the orders that
you're going to love me.
That's it, me and you.
What are you doing, just, just, (sighing)
Just be smooth, be calm, be smooth.
Be like Nate.
Not like water, be like Nate.
Okay.
(car revving)
(birds chirping)
- I can't do it, man.
I am scared of this woman.
I ain't been scared of a girl before.
- You need to suck it up.
- Shit.
(sighs) You're right.
How are you doing?
I thought I saw you leaving last night.
- Oh, I tried to leave.
I told Maria that I loved her.
- [Nate] Well, you got balls, man.
- Can I ask you for some advice, Sergeant?
- [Nate] Yeah, absolutely.
- What the hell am I doing here?
I'm in love with a woman
who's marrying someone else.
And for some reason,
I couldn't just leave.
- [Nate] It's tough, man.
- And the worst thing is,
I don't think he's right for her.
I really don't trust him.
- Remember when we were
in Afghanistan together
and we were in that village in the north,
and we stopped to help
that man and his son?
Our orders were to keep moving,
keep moving 'cause they will reports
of hostiles in that area.
But you thought it was
the right thing to do
to disobey that command and help that man.
Well, you did the right thing then,
and you'll do the right thing now.
- [Henry] I've tried.
- Well then maybe that's not it.
Can we stay here
Don't think we'll
make it down the road
I'll go the long way
Just to leave you where you are
You are
- And it was so much fun playing
with Maria again last night.
We haven't done that since college.
She really should have been a singer.
- Yeah, she's really good.
She loves her career.
- Yeah.
- And she's good at it.
- [Jenny] Mhmm, that too.
- Hey, what do you want?
- Good morning.
What's in the Dutch baby?
- It doesn't say.
- That's why I'm asking, Einstein.
I'll take the Eggs Benedict.
- [Frank] We don't have any of that.
We just ran out, sorry about that.
- I'll grab the oatmeal, then.
- We don't have any more of that either.
- Jesus, what do you have?
- So if you look right here, cereal.
- Is it gluten-free?
- You're asking a lot of questions.
Do you want me to step away,
smoke this cigarette and come back to you?
- You know what?
I'll take the cereal and a big whiskey.
- All right.
- [Dimple] Don't bother ordering anything,
the service here sucks.
- It's not that bad.
- Do you know where Maria is right now?
- She's probably getting ready
for her wedding day, no doubt.
- Hey, I need to go find her.
I found this in the
living room this morning.
- [Charlee] What's that?
- It's a love letter from Dimple.
It's actually pretty sweet.
I thought he was such an asshole,
but I talked to him last night
and he doesn't seem so bad.
- Yeah, that's nice.
- Yeah.
- You know what?
I've got to go up to her room anyway,
so why don't I just
take that?
- It's okay, I mean I'm,
I'm almost done here anyway, I got it.
- I'm taking it, give it to me.
- What?
- That girl is driving me crazy.
- No luck, huh?
- Nah, man.
I'm running out of material.
I've never had this trouble before.
Somehow, it just makes her hotter.
- Yeah, with Jenny,
she just doesn't like the
whole suave stuck routine.
Just try being yourself, act natural.
- Hasn't been looking good lately.
- Nate, what up man?
How you doing brother?
Dude, that suit is bad ass.
You should get a suit like this.
Dude thanks so much for
the advice the other night.
I killed it with her, I appreciate it.
- Sorry to interrupt your bro time.
But where's the milk?
- Oh yeah by the way,
we don't have any more milk,
but that cereal is off the chain.
You need to just have it.
- How am I going to eat
cereal without milk?
- [Frank] I don't know, Nipple, right?
- It's Dimple.
My friends call me Dimple.
You can call me Sir.
- [Frank] I'm sorry, Sir Nipple.
Do you want the cereal or not?
- No, I can eat it.
- [Frank] Cool.
Asshole.
- Excuse me?
You know what?
I'm going to write the worst review
these guys have ever had.
- Come on, man.
At least he's honest,
you got to respect that.
- What?
- Hmm?
- You know what?
I'm going to find that crusty old manager
and I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind.
Gramps!
- You, now.
(tense music)
What's this?
You plan to break it off with the Maria?
You promised me.
- Char?
How could you?
Love letters to Charlee, my best friend?
- Any man that has your affection
can resist temptation, babe.
- No that's crap, and you know it.
- [Charlee] I agree.
- Ladies, this is a joyous moment.
Don't you see?
I love you both.
- What are you talking about?
- We all marry.
Come on over, let me run you through it.
I figured everything out
all legally, and everything.
(slaps whacking)
Ah!
Wait, wait right there for one sec.
Good riddance!
Well that worked.
Did I tell you how
beautiful you look today?
- No, I'm leaving.
- No, honestly.
Just listen to me, okay?
- Dimple.
- Look, she was a bad egg, okay?
Now, I got cold feet, I admit it.
- It doesn't matter.
- We've been together
forever,
- Dimple, stop.
- And she came onto me one night,
and in my moment of weakness,
and one thing led to another,
but it doesn't matter.
- I don't wanna hear it.
- She's a bad egg
and it's best
that she's gone.
- I don't want to hear it
Dimple.
- Look, listen.
- No, no, no.
- Just sit down
and listen for a second, okay?
Who needs her?
We can get through anything, baby.
We've been through everything!
- Dimple!
It's over.
- No!
It's over when I say it's over.
- [Maria] What?
No, Dimple,
stop it!
- Shh.
- Dimple, no!
- Hold still!
- Maria?
Maria!
Maria!
- Watch out, watch out, watch out.
Get off of her!
- No, wait, no!
(Dimple growling)
(punch bashing)
Thank you.
- Don't worry.
Let's go.
- Yeah.
Come swallow this sword, GI Joe.
- I would never cross swords with you.
But you can't handle this one, trust me.
(rifle booming)
(Dimple exclaiming)
- Baby.
- What the hell is going on?
- It's not me, it's them.
They've lost it.
- Holy crap, I'm about to kick some ass.
Did you try and kill the Colonel?
- Steady Nate, he can't hurt me.
- I mean, I'd like to see him try.
I'll show you how Yankee boys play.
- What happened here?!
- Damn quick!
- You betrayed us!
You dirty dog.
- Dimple can explain.
It'd be quite the story
for a future father-in-law.
Let's hear it.
- Sir, I was talking with
your daughter on the couch
and then this brute attacked me!
- Bullcrap!
Maria, what happened?
- He's lying!
- No!
- He attacked me, Dad, he attacked me!
- You lying-
(knee bashing)
(Dimple screeching)
My Von Dumpling!
Sir, I can't really get
into specifics here,
but if you want to go
into private, we can chat.
- You have nothing else to say to me,
except what is this about
a debt with Mr. Hazard?
- Who told you?
You're going to hear from my lawyer.
- And you from me.
(Dimple snapping)
- (groaning) Fine.
You watch how I leave,
the man who's received
the polish of Europe.
Guys, let's think about this, come on.
(Dimple grunting)
- [Frank] I'm going to keep your scarf.
(Jenny growling)
- You know what?
I don't need any of you.
I'm on to bigger and better things
and I can grow my man bun back!
(door slamming)
- I'm so sorry.
Everything is ruined.
- No daddy, it's not.
It's really not.
- Sir?
- Maria, how long have you known this guy?
- Not long.
We met accidentally.
- Well, I heard what my baby girl say
about how much he loves her dad
and how she would do anything
for him to make him happy.
And you.
You talk very prudently.
I checked you out.
You kept focus.
Welcome to the family.
- Sir, I-
- No.
No need to find speeches,
just keep the focus
and we'll always agree.
- Daddy, thank you.
Thank you.
Can we have a minute?
Charlee.
- I am so sorry.
God, I'm such an idiot.
I didn't know you were engaged
until I got the invitations,
and then Dimple said everything
was going to be fine.
God, I should have told you.
I'm so ashamed.
- [Maria] I know.
- Sir, sir, excuse me.
My name is William Von Dumpling
and I would really,
really appreciate a ride.
Come here.
Here, hold this.
And be careful, it's tailored.
(Dimple grunting)
See you later, losers!
You'll regret this, Maria! (laughs)
- Mr. Von Dumpling.
How about we settle your debts?
- Open the door.
Open the door.
- Drive.
- Open the door.
Open the door!
Open the door!
(screams) No, not that finger!
(screams) Not the finger!
(light guitar music)
- Even the Brit drives American.
(Jenny chuckles)
Oh, a real laugh?
- Nate, you're pretty funny
when you're not trying.
- What is that supposed to mean?
- It means you're charming when
you're just being yourself.
- [Nate] Thank you.
I guess.
- Now if I can just teach you how to sing
you'll be a 10.
Well, not a 10, close enough.
- Wow.
Are we rating guys now?
- Mhmm.
- I mean you could teach me how to sing.
As long as it isn't Yankee Doodle.
- You're right.
- I'll take it.
Yankee Doodle went to
town riding on a pony
Stuck a feather in his hat
And called it macaroni
- I hate you.
- That went a lot better in my head.
- Henry, there's something I need to do.
Is that the Acme 10 gauge?
- Yeah.
- I'll take it.
- [Frank] I'm going to let her shoot it.
I've seen you shoot.
- I'm fine with that.
- Let's go.
Pull!
(rifle booming)
- Maria.
There's something I have to tell you.
I may be sent back overseas.
- Five words, soldier.
I will wait for you.
(light guitar music)
(upbeat rock music)
Yeah
I once was lost in the world
I once was lost far away from here
And now the lonely girl
With no direction no
road to take my dear
- Like this?
You do that, I will punch you in the face.
- Let's say we start Monday morning.
Settle up.
- (laughs) Sorry.
- Talking like full
pension, 401k. (laughs)
I have had enough
Had to rise above
All the damn chaos
Now I know, now I know what I wanna do
Now I know, now I know
where I wanna go from here
Go from here
Now I know, now I know,
now I know the truth
Now I know, now I know, now I know
That I can see so clear
Now I own the world
The sun and the moon in my two hands
I fly through the stars
I got the earth in my command
I had had enough
Had to rise above
All the damn chaos
Now I know, now I know what I wanna do
Now I know, now I know
where I wanna go from here
Go from here
Now I know, now I know,
now I know the truth
Now I know, now I know, now I know
That I can see so clear
Even though the chips may fall
I won't shy away at all
Back me up against the wall
I'm still standing 10 feet tall
As the dust clears
- Here we go, sir.
A very, very special bouquet.
- (laughs) Sorry.
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- If you're chasing someone down
and you roll your ankle, covered.
- [Dimple] Who do you
use, is it like Kozer
or is it like a generic?
- So, it's Aflac, so
what happens is, (laughs)
Hey there, geezer!
- [Man] Okay, we're gonna reset that.
Les, you can go, you can
go a little. (laughs)
You can go a little.
You can tilt down a little more.
- [Dimple] I'm clenching
my ass pretty hard, Liz.
It might cramp hard soon.
(light guitar music)
I've been searching for miles
I've been searching for truth
Wash away the denials
I've been searching for you
I've been working so hard
All the whole night through
All the time I was losing
So glad I found you
Leave the past in the past
We'll make this love last
Holding on till the light is gone
And I know that I am home with you
And I know that I am home with you
And I know that I am home with you
And I know that I am home with you