The Date Whisperer (2023) Movie Script

Oh, you've never been to Alaska?
- Mm-mm.
- My favorite is Juneau.
The hiking is incredible.
You have to get up there.
It's amazing, like, breathtaking.
They have these pine forests
that seem so dense.
Ugh, you're so dense.
But then, when the sun hits just right,
it creates these ribbons of light.
Seriously, "ribbons."
- It's...
- Mm, gross?
This has been...
really nice.
- You're...
- Mm, lame? Boring?
Gini, did you hear that story
about his mom
embarrassing him with baby photos?
Clearly, loads of family trauma there.
What? No. No, Gini.
This one is going to dump you
like a sack of potatoes
the minute his mom disses your cooking.
I'm sorry. This one's a dud.
We should do this again sometime.
Fat chance.
- I would...
- I'd love to.
What? No.
No, no, no, no, Gini.
Gini, I'm your date whisperer,
and I'm telling you
that this clingy mama's boy is bad news.
- You look beautiful.
- I do?
Oh, you do not know
where those lips have been.
Gini, uh-uh.
Could you excuse me for a second?
what are you doing?
I'm eating trail mix.
This is the best date
I've had in months!
You're supposed to be helping me.
You're supposed to be the best
date whisperer there is.
Why are you ruining this?
Ru... no, Gini.
I'm saving you. He's awful.
No, you're awful.
And you're also fired.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Gini, Gini, Gini,
I'm really sorry.
I'm sorry.
Let's just give this a...
No, Gini!
Another one, Sam?
What happened this time?
Well, I mean, he kept
talking about wanting to
take her to the pine forest
in some mountains somewhere.
I mean, what if he was a serial killer,
and she was his next victim?
I might have just saved her life.
He's a park ranger.
Yeah, but you know anyone can
say they're a park ranger.
This isn't a joke, Sam.
This is your job.
People come to us, rely on us
to help them through
their first few crucial dates.
Love and Whispers has built a reputation
on being the best of the best
in live date coaching,
and you, Sam, you were our top whisperer.
What happened?
I know your parents
splitting up has been hard.
But you've got to pull yourself together.
I know. I know.
I know.
Breanna, I am...
I really am so sorry.
One more chance, Sam.
And if your next client doesn't connect
with the person of their dreams
within our standard three dates,
I'm going to have no choice
but to fire you.
- Fired?
- Mm-hmm.
But you are the best
whisperer that we have.
Ah, yeah. No, was.
Yeah, she made that painfully clear.
- OK, so what are you gonna do?
- I don't know, Jen.
I... I can't afford to lose
this job, but it's like,
I can't shake off this funk, you know?
It's like, I just I...
I see myself out there,
and I'm just like tearing into these guys,
and I'm just like, "Sam, no!"
Wait. OK, so confusion.
Are you like trapped in a well
in this scenario and just...
No, not a well. I was...
I was going for, like,
a slow motion thing,
like, "Sam, no."
Oh, like... so you like, "Sam."
OK, stop.
Jen, what am I gonna do about this?
Um, well, tonight...
Tonight, you're gonna have fun.
What? Why am I...
Yeah, yeah, no.
I forgot about that.
Sam, you forgot? Come on.
It's your dad's engagement party.
- You're his best woman.
- Yeah.
No, I know. It's just...
It's all happening really fast, you know?
Six months ago, he was married to my mom.
We were a family, and now it's...
I know. I know.
It's... it's a lot of change really quick.
Your mom is now in Florida
with her boyfriend,
and your dad is engaged to a gorgeous,
gorgeous fashion designer.
And everyone is happy,
except for you, so.
You're still gonna come, right?
Of course, I'm still gonna come. Come on.
You know I wouldn't miss
a chance to embarrass myself
in front of LA's fashion elite.
Thank you.
I wouldn't miss it.
Um, I... I feel like I
should've worn the other dress.
Hmm? Mm, maybe a little
Bo Peep-ish.
Oh, Jen. There he is.
He's literally looking right at me.
- I know, it's your dad...
- Sammy Bear.
- Sammy Bear.
- Hi, just... just Sam is fine.
And Jen.
I'll take "Jenny Bear."
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
Uh, could you come over
and talk to Frankie?
He's over there talking
to his fashion friends,
and you would really save me from all that
"what's new this season" talk.
- Uh...
- Oh, yes, I would love that.
Wait, at first, we're gonna
grab a drink from the bar.
But we'll be over in a second.
Sam, I really want to
just go pretend to matter
in the world of fashion.
Jen, I need a drink, OK?
OK, fine.
I'm trying, but literally
I can't keep smiling.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hi, hi, sorry.
Sorry, I... it's for the grooms.
Promise, promise.
Can I get two apple rhubarb
coolers, please?
Cool, cool.
What's in that?
Yeah, I'm not a bartender.
I'm a waiter.
Not even really a waiter, actually.
I'm an actor, so.
- Oh, jeez.
- Oh.
No sweat, pal.
It's apple juice,
apple cider vinegar, just a dash,
then sparkling rhubarb soda,
and a stem of ginger.
You're good to go.
That's wrong.
I'm sorry. What's that now?
- What?
- Did you say something?
Well, I was just saying it's the syrup
from a jar of stemmed ginger,
not the actual stem.
I mean, that would be a choking hazard.
I mean, so is ice.
I mean, the syrup is just sugar.
It's clearly the root.
I'm sorry.
I'm not the one who's wrong.
- You are.
- Oh, no.
I'm sorry.
- Um, excuse... - I'm...
- I'm what?
Do you guys just maybe, like, want a soda
- or something...
- Um, no, it's the syrup.
OK, it's the root,
and I would bet money on it.
Oh. Why bet money?
If I'm right, you can drink
all the syrup in the jar.
And if I'm right, you can
eat all the ginger roots.
So many antioxidants to keep you from
feeling sick over losing.
It's the syrup.
- Hmm.
- You guys are so weird.
- OK.
- You heard...
- I think I said syrup, right?
- It's getting a little weird.
- I did say that.
- Double or nothing.
Nope. I am happy with my win, thank you.
- Oh, your win?
- Two sodas.
Got it.
You know what?
Triple or nothing.
Come on, anything you want to bet on.
I'm really good. Thank you.
- There.
- Thank you.
- Thanks. Here you go, Jen.
- Thank you.
This is for me, and, um...
And that's for you. Enjoy.
Come on, Jen.
I'm Matt, by the way.
I'm the best man.
I know who you are, best man.
Come on.
Come dance.
You love dancing. Come on!
Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen, I really...
I just don't feel like it.
- Sammy Bear, hey.
- Hi.
Come and dance with your old man, huh?
Show 'em how you used to
do it at your old recitals.
She was just... oh!
Oh, I was eight then, Dad.
It was much easier to impress people.
Plus, I forgot my Mickey Mouse tap shoes.
So you guys go.
Well, you owe me one.
- OK.
- OK.
- Come on.
- Mm.
How much do you want to bet
the DJ is gonna play
"Funky Chicken" next?
Wow, you are such a sore loser.
You know, you think you have me pegged,
but you don't know me
as well as you think you do.
- I'm not...
- You're a tennis instructor.
- Yes.
- Yes.
My dad's tennis instructor.
You are two for two right now.
Guessing not a very good one
since his game
definitely isn't getting any better.
You're also well dressed,
though not subtly.
Likely covering up
a lack of actual confidence,
which would also explain
your overly competitive nature.
I'm guessing you drive a convertible,
just based on the hair.
And that, what, you're more
of a big swing kind of guy,
rather than someone
who's actually detail oriented,
considering you've been
walking around with
hummus on your shoe all night.
Oh, um,
and you're the guy who convinced my dad
to leave my mom.
So I'm not really interested
in whatever it is
you have to say next.
Fun fact, I didn't convince him
of anything.
And I know who you are, too, you know.
Sam Mason, the love swindler.
Excuse me?
Oh, yeah.
- Love and Whispers, right?
- Uh-huh.
Yeah, my sister tried your package.
Let's just put it this way.
She's not gonna be
playing doubles anytime soon.
OK, well, we offer a premium
relationship service
that's helped hundreds of couples.
You guys are puppeteers.
You tell people what to do,
and then you walk away,
leaving them floundering on their own.
We actually create love.
- "Ha"?
- Ha.
- You ha.
- Me ha?
- You...
- Stop saying "ha."
Stop saying "ha."
You think you're better at love than me?
You ruined my family.
All I did was tell your dad
to follow his heart.
And I introduced him to my uncle Frankie.
That's it.
Look at how happy he is now.
He was happy with us, too.
That's real love.
I mean, not that you would
know anything about that, but.
- I know real love.
- You wouldn't know real love
if it was sitting right next to you.
I know real love,
and I eat it for breakfast.
- And it is sweet.
- Sweet?
- Mm-hmm.
- OK, prove it.
If you're such the master love expert,
get your next client to say
"I love you" and mean it.
Wow. You are so desperate for a bet.
You do it,
I will do whatever you want.
Back out of the wedding.
I'm Uncle Frankie's best man.
Oh, OK.
Guess you can talk the talk.
You just can't walk the walk.
When I win, you have to make
my couples tennis lessons
a part of Love and Whispers'
premium package,
- and...
- I'm not done, pay attention...
I get ad space on the company's
podcast for an entire year.
Yeah, you know that's not
really up to me, right?
You know what? I'm sure you
can pull some strings
because according to your dad,
you're the best whisperer
that's ever whispered.
I think you'll be OK.
Monday morning, my next client
is falling in love.
So it's a deal?
Oh, yeah. It's a deal.
A bet?
Sam, are you crazy?
Your job is already on the line,
and now you're thinking of
doing some dumb love bet?
- Jen.
- Sam.
OK, look, I know.
I know. I know.
But you didn't see him.
- He was so smug and arrogant...
- OK.
- And just, like...
- Look, look, look.
I hear you.
I really, really do.
It's just, are you, like, 100% positive
that you don't actually have
a grudge against this guy?
- 'Cause you've kind of had...
- What?
A grudge against him ever
since your parents split up.
No, no, not at all. No.
And you know what?
I can do this.
Uh, the thing is that we actually
just give our clients
three dates, Samantha,
so only crazy people actually fall in love
in literally three dates.
Looks like your 10:00 a.m. is here.
- Here's hoping she's crazy.
- Let's hope so.
And that's it.
So do you have any questions at all?
It only takes three dates?
But what if he doesn't like me?
Why wouldn't he like you?
You're amazing.
I just, um...
I don't know how to talk to people,
especially men.
Why can't men be more like cats?
Well, then they'd be too smart.
Millie, you deserve your dream man.
You're worth it.
You really think so?
Oh, um... no.
No, no, no. Um, I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna... will you excuse me
just for one second?
I'll be right back.
I'll be right back.
What are you doing here?
Are you insane?
What are you doing?
I'm here to meet our client.
Our client?
Oh, you thought
I was just gonna take your word
on whether or not she falls in love?
Sam, I take my bets very seriously.
Matt, this is where I work.
You can't just show up here like...
Oh, hello.
- Hi.
- Who is this gentleman?
- Hi.
- Hi.
Um, this is...
Oh, I'm the intern.
- Intern?
- Intern?
Yeah. Yeah, the... the intern.
Remember Jen set up that
internship with my college?
So you're in college?
Oh, yeah.
I decided to change careers
after what I realized
I was doing was a giant sham.
I'm Matt, by the way.
I'm gonna be shadowing Sam here.
But if there's anything you need,
- anything at all.
- Oh.
Well, thank you, Matt.
I'm Breanna.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
- I, uh...
- I run this office.
Welcome to the team.
I'm sure we'll see one another soon.
So where's our client?
OK, um, Millie, uh, sorry about that.
This is Matt, my underling.
All right.
So next, we're gonna
go through a series of
this or that questions
to get a better sense
of your relationship goals.
This allows us to ensure that
you're building a lasting
and solid relationship
with your new partner.
Um, OK.
OK, um, indoor or outdoor dates?
Uh, no.
Um, whatever he likes.
And coffee dates or drinks?
I don't drink, but I could
have a coffee at a bar,
uh, if...
And do you want kids?
Uh, that's a big shift.
Um, mm, I guess?
Come on, Millie!
Be bold. Own what you want.
Yes, yes.
- I want kids.
- That's it, well done.
- And marriage?
- Uh, yes, definitely.
On a roll.
And do you have someone in mind that
you'd like to connect with?
Do you want to tell us who?
Oh! Ye... uh... uh, ye... yes.
Sorry. Oh, I got carried away.
Um, his name is Wyatt.
And he's... he's dreamy.
You know, he, like, builds furniture
with raw lumber with his bare hands
'cause he's, like, so manly.
I love your enthusiasm.
Um, and how did you and Wyatt meet?
Uh, well, we haven't.
Um, but I...
I read an article with him online.
Oh, OK, so you haven't met?
That's OK. That's OK.
Um, so we'll just...
We'll have to use
- your first date as a meet-cute.
- That's... that's fine.
And, um, actually,
I brought something for you.
But I... I promise I don't
carry a photo of him
with me all day.
You think he's too good for me.
No, no, no, not at all.
- No.
- No.
- Um...
- No. No, no, no.
No, this is pointless.
- I'm...
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for wasting your time.
Um, yeah.
Why would a man like that ever want...
Let's go get your dream man.
No, no, no, no, no.
- I can't...
- I can't do this. No way.
- What am I even wearing? I look...
- I look ridiculous.
Relax, relax.
Our makeover team
knows what they're doing.
You look fantastic.
Here. Put this in your ear.
Here you go.
What about me?
Oh, did you not bring yours?
You know a good intern should
always bring their own gear.
Um, OK.
Mill, can you hear me?
Yes, I... I can hear you, but... but Sam...
Millie, listen.
You're gonna be fine, OK?
You've got this.
Plus, I'm going to be in
your ear the whole time
so all you have to do is
repeat what I'm saying.
- Copy.
- OK.
All right, now just go in
there, have a look around,
and we'll be in right behind you.
Millie, you've got the best date whisperer
in the business.
All right.
Now just breathe.
Breathe, Millie.
- Millie, Millie, breathe.
- You got this, Millie!
You're being awfully
encouraging for somebody
who loses if she falls in love.
I'm a sucker for romance.
It smells nice in here.
I agree.
- No, Millie.
- What?
No, you're Millie.
Say you're Millie.
Um... um...
I'm not Sam.
You look like a Sam.
I know a Sam, and you look just like him.
Uh, but I...
I... I'm not Sam.
Sorry. Let me start over.
I'm Millie.
Got it.
What can I do for you today,
You're looking for a nightstand
for your father, a pair.
I'm looking for a nightstand
for my father.
A pair.
Perfect. Yeah, um,
our nightstands are actually
out in the back patio here.
Now, what kind of style
does your dad like?
Something unique and artisan
would be lovely.
Well, you're in good hands
with me, Millie.
Tell her to hold his hand.
- They've just met.
- So what?
He's a guy. They're easy.
It's a classic case.
You know what?
You can't do this.
You can't just waltz in here and act like
you know everything.
That is how people get hurt, OK?
I'm just saying she needs to go for it.
She needs courage. Come on.
Where'd she go?
A pine tree that, actually,
that I cut down myself
- here on the property.
- Wow.
Millie, what are you doing?
I told you to go to the nightstand.
That suggests certain things.
Coffee tables just suggest...
Do you have one big enough for a puzzle?
I was going to say coffee, but yeah,
puzzles are equally as boring.
Look at him, taking her to
the most expensive table.
So predictable.
He's just in it for the sale.
What? What?
What else is he supposed to be in it for?
He doesn't even know that
she likes him yet.
You know what?
You are throwing me off.
Just take three steps back.
- Really?
- Yeah, three big steps.
Thank you.
All right, Millie, you want a date?
Let the master work.
So how many pieces
are we thinking exactly?
Go high.
10,000 puzzle pieces.
That's a big number.
"I like a challenge."
Well, I like a challenge.
You know, the sense of
accomplishment you get
when you overcome something hard.
OK, well, we can work with ten.
Um, let's see, that would
kind of put you at
just about...
Get down there and
do the same thing as him.
That's it, good.
Now take your hand and put it on his
ever so gently.
Perfect, exactly.
Now look him in the eyes and say...
Feels about right.
Oh, yeah.
So you like it?
I do.
But I have to measure my space.
And I came here for my dad,
so, uh, maybe next time.
OK... OK, Millie.
OK, that's OK.
Just walk to the car.
Don't say goodbye. Trust me.
Ooh. OK, that's OK.
That's OK. Just keep walking.
Keep walking.
Hey, um, sorry, I didn't mean...
What's he saying?
He's flustered.
It doesn't matter how cool a guy is.
For the right woman,
he will always get nervous.
There you go, Wyatt.
Find your courage.
Yes, yes, yes, come on.
Let me get your number real quick.
And, uh, doing anything tomorrow?
- Does tomorrow work?
- Tomorrow's great.
Did you see that?
- You... you saw that?
- Yes, yes, I saw it.
See, that is finesse.
Don't need a jackhammer for one nail.
You don't need a jackhammer
for any amount of nails.
- Whatever.
- Mm.
I'm good.
- Hi!
- Oh.
Way too much energy for pre-coffee, Jen.
OK, well, take a sip.
Now just tell me everything.
I mean, how did it go?
- What's he like?
- Who?
Oh, come on.
Wait. You know that Breanna
has been, like,
talking about him nonstop, right?
OK, that is kind of disturbing.
And it was awful.
No, he is awful, Jen.
Jen, he is so annoying.
He just... he thinks he knows everything.
It is so annoying.
You have no idea.
Mm. Is it now?
It's just like there's no...
There's no planning.
And there's no thinking.
No overthinking?
Right, exactly!
No. Wait, what?
I mean, I am just saying,
sometimes you, like, overthink.
You overcomplicate.
You overanalyze.
You just, like, get in your own head,
and you just sabotage yourself.
You know what I mean?
I'm saying all of this
with love, obviously.
Obviously, but OK,
with love, you weren't there.
This guy is beyond annoying.
So then, why don't you
just call off the bet?
No way. Mm-mm, no.
Coffee is clearly kicking in.
Jen, he needs to learn his lesson.
He ruined my family.
- Sam...
- He told my dad
to leave my mom, which,
now that I know him, is classic him.
I mean, he just, like, pushes people
to make these big decisions and... and... and
throw caution to the wind
and, like, live in the moment,
and not even think about
repercussions, you know?
Yeah, well, Sam, your dad is happier, hon.
And however that came about,
you've got to admit that
it's good that your dad
- can finally live his truth.
- No, I... I know. I know.
You're right.
So what are you gonna do about Matt?
I'm going to crush him like a bug.
Oh, hey.
Ah, check this out.
That's a little high.
- Oh, and he makes the catch...
- Wow.
- Ladies and gentlemen.
- Very impressive.
Um, where's my dad?
Upstairs changing into a tuxedo.
- OK.
- OK, come on.
- Your turn.
- No.
I know you're allergic to fun,
- but you can try this.
- I'm good, thank you.
- You do it, I'll shut up.
- OK, fine.
Um, are you OK?
- Yeah.
- Those aren't soft.
I'm fine.
Just give me another one.
- You sure?
- Mm-hmm.
OK, that's the spirit.
That was amazing.
No, you're good where you are.
What do you think?
You look really nice.
I would second that.
- You look amazing, honey.
- Thank you.
So are you two ready for yours?
Too many mints?
Glad to see you're having some fun, Sam.
Yeah, I'm dressed like a Barbie doll,
so I clearly have plenty of fun.
Speaking of fun, when's date number one
for the Millster?
Mm, yeah, you're not coming to that.
I'm sorry. What?
What do you mean?
What about our bet?
You're too much of a wildcard.
Yeah, I know.
No, that's not a good thing, Matt.
Date whispering is a science,
a very specific science...
- And you are...
- A rebel? Loose cannon?
Dangerous? I know.
Yeah, more like a pain in the...
Wow, look at you two.
You look amazing.
What's wrong, Sammy Bear?
- Oh, Sammy...
- Sam.
Um, nothing.
No... nothing, Dad.
It's all good. Suit fits well.
- I just...
- I kind of have to run. I have a work meeting.
So, um, approved?
Or you could stay, have some fun,
do something different.
Yeah, Matt, you, um,
better be careful about that
cool guy advice you're always giving.
Might get yourself in trouble
one of these days.
No way.
They fired me, Matt.
I did what you told me.
I stood up to my boss.
And they fired me.
What am I gonna do?
I am so sorry.
- I...
- I have kids.
How am I going to support 'em?
You need to fix this.
I mean, Jo, I can't.
I don't even...
You know my reach at this club.
I'm afraid
I'm just gonna have to
tell all your clients about this.
- Jo... - Jo...
- You'd be done, Matt.
Fix it.
What's going on?
Hi, Sam.
So good to see you.
Can you just...
What are you doing in Breanna's office?
- Do you...
- I'm sorry.
Do you have any idea
how much trouble I would be in
if she found out about our bet?
Yes, I am sorry.
I was looking for you,
and you weren't there.
And then Breanna saw me and was like,
"Hey, can you get me some coffee?"
'Cause, you know, intern.
Why were you even looking for me?
I told you, you're not coming
on Millie's next date.
About that.
Um, I might have messed up big time.
I, um... yeah, look,
I told one of my tennis clients
that she should
confront her boss
because he passed her over
for so many promotions.
So I was like, "You know what?
You stand up to him.
You say what you gotta say.
You get in there."
And now she's fired.
Sam, she's fired.
I just... she's fired.
- Just hold this.
- Like, fired.
And this.
And this.
- What is...
- And this.
What is happening?
Sam, you're not listening to me.
You are gonna get two people fired
if you keep showing up here.
OK, you don't understand.
This client is Jo Law.
The... the tabloid writer, Jo Law,
the queen bee of gossip
and rumors, Jo Law.
She's gonna ruin
my reputation at the club.
Sam, I'm gonna lose all my clients
if I don't get this ad space.
I'm sorry, are you seriously asking me
for a down payment on losing our bet?
Yeah. I mean, well,
when you say it like that,
it kinda sounds desperate.
Oh, my gosh. OK, I told you.
Sorry, but I told you that
this was gonna happen.
I told you this was gonna happen.
You are a meddler.
You push and you push and you push.
You think you know everything,
but you don't.
And I told you that one of these days,
one of these big bombs you keep
telling other people to drop
was going to blow up in your face.
So you'll help me?
You are not even listening to me.
That's good.
You know what? I gotta go.
I gotta go.
Millie has a hiking date with,
uh, wood working wonder boy,
- so good luck, intern.
- Sam, Sam. No, no.
- Bye.
- Do not... do not leave me!
Millie, I'm so sorry, but I'm here.
- I'm here.
- Where have you been?
Wyatt just texted me
saying he's two minutes away.
Um, OK, that's fine.
Where's Matt?
Why isn't he here?
Oh, Matt, he's, um...
He's doing paperwork,
intern stuff today.
So just you and me.
OK, so you've got this.
Just remember, confidence,
and I will be in your ear the whole time.
- OK.
- OK.
- Oh, my gosh, he's here.
- Oh.
What is he, 12?
Who rides a scooter?
- Oh, I was...
- I was just saying, it's a cool scooter.
Oh, well, you know, he doesn't drive
because he's trying to reduce
his carbon footprint.
You know, like, save the planet.
He's such a hero.
Hi, Wyatt!
Well, it's really pretty out here.
Yeah, it's one of my favorite hikes.
I come out here
probably at least once a week.
- Oh!
- Oh!
Oh, that's... that's OK.
That's OK.
- Just laugh it off.
- Are you OK?
- Yeah, I'm...
- Geez.
I'm fine.
Yeah, its bark was worse than its bite.
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, don't make a joke.
Just... just laugh.
Bark, like tree bark.
That's... that's pretty good.
Or that's...
That's pretty wood, huh?
- Oh.
- Eh?
Wow, I...
I don't know how you pulled that one off.
OK, good job.
So how did you get started
in furniture making?
That's actually...
Oh, my God, Millie.
Hi! How are you?
- Hi. Hi.
- How are you doing?
Bob Ford, used car salesman.
You look like a Vespa guy.
Vespa, electric scooters,
anything you need, I got you.
Nice to meet you.
- Bob Ford.
- Bob Ford.
- Yeah.
- Got it.
Millie and I actually used to date.
Let me tell you, she's a little crazy,
a bit of a wild one,
not really in a good way.
Have you introduced him
to the porcelain cats yet?
- What?
- Bob?
- Honey, oh!
- Hey, hi.
I've been looking for you everywhere.
Have you?
Um, oh, and Millie, hi.
Hi. Millie is our neighbor.
- So sorry to intrude.
- Neighbor.
- And you are?
- Wyatt.
Mm, so good to meet you.
I am just so sorry about Bob.
He was just at the dentist and, um,
had a bad reaction to the anesthetic.
He's a little loopy.
You know, doesn't really know
what he's saying.
- Yes.
- Yep.
OK, um, well, we should
get you home, honey,
'cause, you know, the dentist said
if we don't, you could die.
Wow, that's... that's serious.
OK. Bye, guys.
Great meeting you.
Great meeting you, too. Yeah.
You don't say anything.
Millie, you're doing great, OK?
I'm just gonna be five minutes.
Just ask him...
Ask him about his job.
Ask him if he has pets, um,
if... if he's close with his family, OK?
So are you out of your mind?
I cannot lose this bet, OK?
I need those ads.
So just buy the ad space.
Don't ruin my date.
I cannot buy the ads.
Look, I'm not gonna get into it right now.
Money's a little bit tight, and I'm sorry.
What do you care anyways?
You practically hate the guy.
What? I don't hate him.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Do you remember the files
you put in my arms earlier?
Yeah, I read what you put in
your initial reports
about him: "pretentious"?
Well, he's... you know,
his furniture prices are insanely high.
Mm-hmm, "manipulative."
Did you see?
He took her to coffee tables
when she was looking for nightstands.
I mean, come on, Sam.
You saw the guy once.
- How could you know any of that?
- OK, fine.
Maybe phony was a leap,
but you should have
seen this guy today,
rolling in on a scooter
for the environment?
And the only person that does
that is Leonardo DiCaprio,
so clearly, my instincts are spot on.
Look, none of this even matters.
My job is on the line, OK?
You can't keep doing these things.
Sam, please,
I'm begging you, OK?
I'll leave them alone.
Just help me.
I am not giving you ad space.
I told you, I don't even
have the power to do that.
OK, if you back off,
I will help your client get her job back.
- Really?
- Yes.
Just come to my house tonight.
I will text you the address.
We'll get it all sorted.
OK, now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go fix the mess that you made.
- All right? Thank you.
- Go, go, go.
Wait, do you want my help?
You told him that
you'd whisper for his client?
- How does that work?
- I don't know.
But I mean, it can't be
that different than
whispering for a date, right?
I mean, instead of a kiss,
the goal is a job.
I guess.
I think I'm just surprised
that you offered.
I thought that he was
public enemy number one.
He is.
But, you know,
I also can't lose my job.
So if this keeps him
off my back, then fine.
Plus, you know, it's nice to do
nice things for nice people.
You know, after today,
I'm not entirely sure he's people.
Maybe an alien sent to destroy my life.
Oh, that is him. I gotta go.
OK, so tell me what is going on.
- What?
- What are you doing?
It's pizza.
Just pick it up and eat it.
I don't want to get my hands messy.
The mess is part of the fun.
Says the man who's in
quite a bit of a mess.
I'm just saying not everything
has to be so serious, you know.
What is happening with your client?
You were right.
I should not have told her
to confront her boss.
So what does she want?
Just her job back.
She says she tried calling,
but she's not exactly
the calmest person under pressure, so.
OK, fine. Fine, fine, fine.
I'm going to need a list
of information from her.
And then Friday, 10:00 a.m.,
we will meet in front of her office.
I will get her job back.
Do you really think this is gonna work?
Same principles as dating.
Establish trust, build a connection,
find your hooks, get a positive outcome.
- It really is a science.
- Mm-hmm.
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
You know, earlier, you had mentioned that
your job was on the line.
What did you mean?
Well, I just...
I haven't been in the best place lately.
And my work's been suffering.
And so Breanna, your bestie,
she's giving me one last chance
to prove my worth to the company.
So if Millie doesn't fall in love, then...
You did a bet on top of all of this?
You must really want me
out of your dad's wedding.
- Do it. No, no.
- I'm just gonna go get a fork.
No, you're not.
You're an adult.
Eat your pizza like a real woman.
Come on.
Ladies and gentlemen...
- Are you happy?
- I'm so happy!
The smallest of victories.
Pizza with no fork?
Well done.
Thank you.
It tastes better, right?
I admit nothing.
And that was the serve
that won me the match.
So then I rushed the net,
you know, 'cause I thought it
was a cool thing to do.
And I got my foot caught
and ended up knocking out
my two front teeth.
- No.
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, not the best move, but I was hooked.
I knew I loved the sport at that point.
- I got 'em fixed.
- I was just checking.
- Really? Are you sure?
- I was just checking.
But they look good.
- Second question for you.
- Mm-hmm.
Earlier, you had mentioned that
your work's been suffering.
Is this from your mom and dad
splitting up?
But hey, I mean,
I know you didn't mean to
get involved with their relationship and...
No, I... I wasn't apologizing.
Well... well, you should.
Yeah, but you just said...
I was being polite, Matt.
You know, you told my dad to leave my mom,
and it broke up our family/
What, just another one
of Matt's big pushes?
Sam, it was a push that worked out.
I mean, your dad's happier now.
What is wrong with you?
Have you learned nothing, Matt?
There is a way to do things, a method.
- A science?
- Yes!
Yes, a science.
You can't just keep going around
and taking all these big risks.
That's how people get hurt.
I mean, look at your client.
Yeah, you know what? Fine.
Maybe, Sam.
I don't regret your dad, though.
He lived his entire life as a lie, Sam.
So, no, that was the right push.
I'm sorry that you found out
the way that you did.
It sucks, OK?
That, I get.
You get it?
You get it?
No, Matt, you don't get it.
OK, you don't know what it feels like
to think you know someone your whole life
and then find out you were a mistake.
- Sam, I...
- Please leave.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Um, can I talk to you really quickly?
Yeah, of course.
Are... are you OK?
You seem a little...
Yeah, no, I'm good.
It's just...
I don't know... something.
It's just that...
Sam? My office.
- I better go.
- Go, go.
How are things with your client?
Um, good, I think.
I mean, the guy is a little...
Two dates in, and one date left.
Yeah, and I was actually thinking...
Is she happy?
Is there a connection?
I think so.
I'm gonna tell you this
as your friend, Sam.
You've been with this company a long time.
And like I said before,
you were our top whisperer for years.
Please don't mess this up.
I really don't want to fire you.
I won't.
Get out of your own way.
Get out of your own way.
Thanks, Breanna.
- Sam.
- Yeah?
How is that intern of yours doing?
Uh... um, good.
Very good.
OK, bye.
Where is she, Matt?
She will be here, Jo.
I promise.
She'd better be.
If she's not, you can say
goodbye to your career.
Yes, yes, yes.
I'm very well aware she...
My life is... oh!
There she is.
See? I told you.
No, Millie, just trust me.
I know, I know it feels fast,
but just text him
exactly what I told you, OK?
We have to get clarity on
how he's feeling.
And this is the best way
to do it without...
She does this a lot.
- Exactly. So...
- OK.
OK, we'll lock in date three tomorrow.
I'll see you then.
OK, yeah, I gotta go.
- Hi.
- Hi.
So you're Jo?
Surely, you know who I am, dear.
All right.
Um, you're going to put this in your ear.
OK, so what's she gonna do?
Like, a big grand gesture or...
Oh, no, she could pull the fire alarm...
That's him, right?
OK, you're gonna walk over there,
bump into him, and spill this on yourself.
Excuse me?
This is a silk blouse.
OK, well, if you want to keep buying more,
you'll listen to me.
Look, we need to establish a dynamic
where he is at fault
and you're the victim, OK?
So don't get any on him.
Go now. Go.
Come on.
- Oh!
- Oh!
I am so sorry... Jo.
Jo, what are you doing here?
I told you I'm not giving you
your job back.
You don't want your job back.
You've already accepted a new job.
You just stopped by
to pick up a few things
for your new office.
No, my blouse. It's ruined.
Did you say something about my old job
after just spilling coffee all over me?
She's good.
She is loving this.
I don't want your job, Doug.
I already accepted a new offer.
Here, let me give you some money for the...
Did you say you accepted another job?
- Where?
- Don't tell him where.
Let him ask again,
and don't take any money.
Keep him feeling in the wrong.
Keep your money, Doug.
I don't have time to stop.
I'm picking up a few things
for my new office,
a corner office in the penthouse.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't... don't improv, and don't oversell.
- Take the money.
- No, I gotta go.
Hey, where did you accept that offer?
Go big.
Whitehall Press.
Wow, that was fast.
Apparently, they were waiting
for me to be free.
A headhunter had me in
to talk to the CEO and CFO.
- Big plans.
- Go and walk away.
Doesn't matter. I gotta run
and figure out something with this blouse.
Don't hesitate. Just go.
Maybe we should talk
before you officially start your new job.
Hm, all right.
See, they are so cute.
Come on, you can't deny it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they are pretty cute.
You OK?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm good.
I'm just...
Lot on my mind, you know?
Hey, how's the bet going, by the way?
Do you think you're actually
gonna get an "I love you"
- by date three?
- Mm, yeah, but I don't know.
I'm just...
I'm starting to think,
what if he's not the right guy for her?
You know, or what if
he hurts her or leaves her?
- What?
- Oh, no, nothing.
- It's just...
- I don't know... your focus seems to have shifted
from getting Matt out of the wedding...
to actually really worrying
about your client.
No, my focus is on keeping my job.
But yeah, I mean, I guess
if Matt's in the wedding,
it's not... it's not the worst
thing in the world.
It's not like it's my wedding, right?
Oh, yeah, speaking of which,
I'm gonna leave you two to chat.
Jen. Jen!
- Hi.
- Hi.
Can I buy you another drink?
How about your dad, huh?
I'm happy he's having fun.
Did you set this all up?
You've been helping a lot
with the wedding stuff,
- so thank you.
- Of course.
You were amazing today, by the way.
Like, seriously.
It was really cool to watch,
and it made me think
about some things, too.
I know you're going through it
at work right now,
but I can definitely see how
you're the best whisperer out there, Sam.
I mean, it's a lot easier
to be on your game
when love's not actually involved.
Yeah, about that.
What's going on?
I want to change the bet.
Afraid you're gonna lose?
If I win, you have to talk to your dad.
It's good to see nothing's changed.
Sam, I promise you
this isn't some big swing thing, OK?
Look, your dad loves you.
- He misses you.
- Misses...
I'm right here.
- I have...
- I've been in all the wedding stuff.
I'm at the bachelor party.
I'm actually standing at the altar.
You're here, but you're not
really here, Sam.
We all see that. He feels that.
There's, like, this barricade
where you don't want
to get hurt, and you just
put it in front of people.
This is none of your business.
You need to tear it down, Sam.
Matt, stop it.
Guys, guys,
they're calling for the
best people to come up on...
Hey, can you take me home?
Yeah, of course.
If you want to change your end
of the bet, that's fine.
Mine still stands.
When you lose,
you are out of this wedding.
Who does he think he is?
Who does he think he is,
telling me to talk to my dad?
He is my dad.
I will talk to him when I want to.
I'm here.
You... you agree with him?
Are you serious?
You're a traitor.
No, Sam.
I'm just saying, I think that
this whole bet thing is dumb
and dangerous.
- And I think that you...
- OK, I get it. I get it.
Look, maybe you talking to your dad
wouldn't actually be the worst thing
in the entire world.
It's not gonna bring
my family back together.
Maybe it will, though.
I mean, not in the way that it used to be,
but you'll have your dad back.
And he'll have you.
That's family, Sam.
And plus, I mean, think of, like,
all the birthday gifts
that Frankie must give.
I mean, oh!
Seriously, if you do not
want him as a dad,
- I will take him.
- You'll take him?
I will take him.
Please, just...
Just right over this way.
Hey, boss.
What you doing?
I am just creating
the perfect park atmosphere for a picnic
for Millie and Wyatt.
The perfect picnic park place.
I do love alliteration.
Mm, well, please participate post haste.
Oh, of course.
I got to admit, I was expecting
a different vibe.
I wasn't really sure if
I should show up or not.
Um, well, I may have
maybe sort of overreacted the other night.
I mean, I... I know you're just
trying to help
in your very Matt way.
"The Mighty Matt Method,"
some might call it.
Ah. I see what you did there.
So are we pushing for
the "I love you" today?
Lots on the line.
You know, about that,
you don't have to pull out of the wedding.
I mean, that was really
never fair of me to ask.
Well, thanks.
Thanks, Sam.
And I guess using
your relationship with your dad
as a bet wasn't the best tactic either?
But I do think you two should talk.
How about we change it to a friendly bet?
Friendly? No way.
We are putting something on the line.
I love the sound of that.
What you have in mind?
Um... ooh.
Wedding gifts?
- Loser buys winner's?
- Yes, deal.
Mine is gonna be huge.
Mine is going to be so big
and so expensive
with insane delivery fees.
International, of course.
That is brutal.
OK, well, I'm gonna get one of Wyatt's...
No, no, ten of Wyatt's coffee tables.
Uh, hi.
What are you doing?
Millie! Hi, how are you?
Are you sane again?
I may have told her that
you went temporarily insane
from eating some bad sushi.
Yes, yes, no, I...
That is the last time that
I mix California rolls
and Alaska rolls.
Those states just don't get along.
Well, I'm glad you're back.
You're really good at building me up.
Thank you.
Just like Sam is good at guiding me.
You two make a good team.
- No.
- No, I don't really think so.
- With him?
- It feels a little weird.
- No.
- She's...
Um, but Millie, how are you feeling?
I mean, that's the important thing.
I feel good.
Uh, yeah, that nervous, shaky,
"can't stop thinking horrible
thoughts" kind of good.
Uh, OK.
Um, well, what kind of horrible things?
I just realized how different we are.
You know, at first,
I was like, "Yay!"
But now I'm like, "Yikes."
Well, that's normal.
You're questioning your attraction.
I mean, it's a risk liking someone.
And you know,
there's actually no one better
to talk to about risks than Matt.
- Me?
- Mm-hmm.
Are you sure?
'Cause I've taken all that
big swing stuff deep down
and locked it away.
- It's forever gone.
- Sure.
Well, you can let just a little out.
This is it.
What's your favorite food?
Uh, grilled cheese?
I'm sorry.
Is that a question?
Grilled cheese with tomato.
And what was it like
just before the first time
you tried grilled cheese with tomatoes?
Well, I don't know.
I was, like, three, probably.
You doubted yourself.
You were nervous.
That's OK. I mean, grilled
cheese with tomatoes?
Now it's your favorite.
Your absolute favorite, right?
- This is the same thing.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I guess I can kind of
see how you draw the line...
The same thing!
Nerves are good.
Nerves are good.
You're gonna have fun.
I'm gonna have fun.
And if it feels right,
you're gonna give that boy a smooch.
- What?
- Mm-hmm.
I agree.
I mean, less yell-y and manic, but,
um, I agree.
Yeah, uh...
thank you.
Uh, this is amazing.
And I... I couldn't have done it
without you.
Well, we are gonna just be in the car.
And you just have fun.
Come on.
You guys have binoculars, too?
Oh, there's Wyatt.
He's walking over.
- Hey.
- You did all this?
This is amazing.
OK, let me know what he's saying.
Oh, well, you can just listen yourself.
You sure that
I'm ready for this?
Mm, there's no mic on it.
I'm not an idiot.
Hey, Sam.
They're sitting down.
Yeah, I know how you like
to be outside, so.
Yeah, it's perfect.
You're perfect.
Ugh, Wyatt.
OK, let's hear it.
I'm sure you're gonna say
what a fraud he is
and how men use these
cheesy lines to trick women.
Come on. Let it out.
I think he means it.
- Um, no, I'm...
- Millie?
I'm not. I'm not.
Hey, whoa, whoa, what's going on?
- Are you OK?
- No, I don't...
Wait, wait, wait. Hang on.
What's happening?
Millie, is everything all right?
- I don't...
- What is it?
Millie, take...
Millie, take a breath.
Take a deep breath, OK?
You're OK.
I'm not perfect, though.
I'm not perfect.
I've had you this whole time.
Who... who are you talking to?
Millie, don't talk to me directly, OK?
Just listen to my voice, OK?
Now just look him in the eyes,
and listen to my words, OK?
Breathe in with me.
And out.
- OK?
- No, no, no, no, I can't.
- I can't do this.
- Millie.
Millie, you're OK.
Just... just breathe, OK?
- Millie?
- I'm not perfect.
I'm not. I can't.
- Millie, are you with me?
- I'm not perfect.
Millie? Millie?
What is that?
- I'm not...
- I'm not perfect.
- She's gone rogue!
- Oh, OK.
OK, we're leaving.
Come on!
I like board games,
and not the normal game night
kind of board games;
the really nerdy ones.
I have a Dungeons and Dragons character.
Her name is Snarf.
She's half orc, and she's really ugly!
Oh... oh, OK.
Are you all right?
I'm a terrible runner!
I don't swing my arms,
and I take really tiny steps.
I don't know why. It just...
It feels weird doing it any other way, OK?
And I look like a penguin
trying to escape a wave.
This is as low as I go.
Are we in one of those, like,
punked hidden camera shows
right now or something?
I have zero confidence.
Sometimes I walk into doors,
and then I apologize to the door.
That's actually pretty cute.
I talk to my cats.
A lot.
And I gave them human names,
so it would seem less weird,
but it still seems weird.
Their names are David and Glenn.
I've killed...
- Whoa.
- At least six plants...
In the past year.
And I wear a mouth guard at night.
And sometimes
I still do the puzzles
- on the back of cereal boxes.
- Millie.
I have no idea what's going on right now,
but all of that, that's... it's OK.
It's OK.
But there's one more thing.
I hired a date whispering service
to help make you fall for me.
That's... that's them over there.
You guys can come out.
You're terrible hiders.
Wait, a date whispering service?
Like, one of those things
where they tell you
what to say the entire time?
I was scared.
You just... you seem so perfect.
And... I'm just me.
You OK?
- Wait.
- Hi.
You guys are from the hike.
And you!
You're the one who said all those weird,
- horrible things.
- Yeah, I, um...
No, what?
Everything you told me was a lie?
God, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I just wanted you to like me.
It wasn't you.
That's so sad.
It was never you.
Wyatt, it... it was her.
It wasn't a lie.
We just help our clients
put their best selves forward.
But they aren't her words.
They're your words.
Well, we have an intricate,
detail-oriented process,
questionnaires and interviews,
all to learn about a client's personality
to make sure we're not showing
anyone in a false light.
I don't know. I mean,
it just feels so weird now.
It makes it kind of hard to trust you.
No, I'm...
I'm sorry. This is...
This is too much.
Bud, she just told you that
she apologizes to doors.
Anybody who does that is
obviously a good person.
And she... she has cats
named David and Glenn.
How cute is that?
And did I hear something about
a penguin run?
Do... do you want to show us real quick?
- No.
- OK.
Well, I bet it's adorable.
Look, the point is,
she put herself out there and
she laid all of her quirks bare
because she likes you.
She hired Sam because she likes you, man.
I don't know, man.
I mean, it's...
She got the best whisperer in this town.
Millie's in.
And obviously, you like her, too.
Otherwise, you wouldn't have
had this weird freak-out.
Look, my motto is "Just do it."
- Pretty sure that's...
- Yeah.
Look, what I'm trying to
say is, just go for it, OK?
You only live once, man.
You know, you're right.
You're both right.
Sometimes I sleep with
a log under my pillow
'cause I... I like
the smell of freshly cut wood
- in the morning.
- Really?
Well, it's not... not a log.
It's more like a small branch
and it's always hickory, never oak.
And don't even get me started
on cedar 'cause that's, like,
- the most overrated species...
- Well, OK.
Well, we don't have to do
the whole list thing again.
But you guys enjoy your picnic.
We're gonna go.
You're leaving?
You don't need us anymore.
You've got this.
Very well done.
You know, you were like
a surgeon with your words.
I mean, so... so precise,
so perfectly articulate.
Well, look, I hate to admit it,
but your whole, um, "just do it" mentality
definitely worked today.
So thank you for pushing a little bit.
Don't let it go to your head.
I mean, my head barely fits
in my house as it is.
Oh, my God. You are like
a different person.
- Yeah, you.
- No. Mm-mm.
- Oh, mm-mm.
- It's one bite.
Uh, what was that?
The forks were all in there.
Mm-mm, that's what
I thought you said. OK.
Look, well, I think I will take
this golden opportunity
to point out the fact that, um...
Drum roll.
You lost the bet.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
Did you just...
drum roll me losing?
Yeah, is that not what a drum roll is for?
No, no, it's not, actually.
I don't think so.
I know I lost.
The thing is,
I know they love each other.
And it won't be long
until they're saying it,
so your spreadsheets were a success, Sam.
Oh, I know.
My success sheets are always a success.
Oh, my God.
I'm just trying to say
we can both consider this a win, OK?
That is very diplomatic of you.
But thank you because I would
have had to remortgage my house
to buy one of
Wyatt's coffee tables.
Yes. Yes.
You know, um, actually
speaking of our... our bets,
I think...
I think that maybe
you might have been right?
I mean, maybe I should talk to my dad.
Wow, Sam, that's... wow.
Yes, that would mean the world to him.
So thank you for pushing
'cause I definitely needed it.
Of course.
Listen, while we're being serious,
I feel like
I owe you an apology.
I was pretty mean about Love
and Whispers when we first met,
and I shouldn't have been.
I'm sorry.
What you do helps people, Sam.
I see that now.
Thank you.
What is happening?
We heard about what happened
and how your last client took
out her earbud and went rogue.
So here.
Well, I don't know if it
really warrants donuts, but.
Well, just take a bite,
and then you tell me.
Oh, no, I was wrong.
Donuts were a very good call.
Yeah, I know. I got you.
My office, please.
- Am I OK?
- OK. You're good.
Um, Breanna, listen.
I can explain about everything...
Congratulations, Sam.
You're not upset with me?
Why would I be upset?
Well, you wouldn't be.
I don't even know why I said that.
Because your client went rogue,
and you revealed yourself to her date?
Yeah, kind of... kind of that.
We've all had a rogue client
here and there.
- Well, not me, of course, but...
- Of course.
But the others? I'm sure.
What I care about, Sam, are results,
and on that front, you delivered.
Your review came in this
morning from your client,
and it's one of the best
I've seen in a while.
Five stars across the board.
You're back, Sam.
You can breathe again.
Thank goodness.
Um, wow. Thank you.
I'm so glad because, I mean,
this job means a lot to me.
What we do for people,
helping them find love and
breaking down the walls between them,
it fulfills me.
Well, I'm happy to hear it
because I have another client for you.
Well, this is an executive client.
We'd like to make you an executive, Sam.
What do you say?
- Oh, my God!
- I had to.
I love it so much.
- Shall we?
- Yes, go!
I didn't get it so you
could just, like, look at it.
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did.
Oh, my gosh.
But you deserve it,
Miss Executive!
And now you can dress just
like our boss, which...
- It is so awful.
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, you'd be surprised
how hard it is to find, like,
really ugly blazers.
- I bet.
- Yeah.
Well, thank you.
So, how's everything else going?
Are you feeling ready for
the rehearsal dinner tomorrow?
You know, actually, I am.
I don't know. It's weird.
I feel like I've been
walking around this dark maze
for months, and, like,
I finally found a path out,
you know?
- Does that sound super crazy?
- Mm-mm.
No, it does not sound super crazy.
It actually sounds really, really good.
Like, really, really, really...
I'm just wondering
how much of this, like,
newfound path of yours
is because of Mr. Matt
whatever his last name is...
No, no, stop. Stop. Mm-mm.
I am just saying.
Or you know what?
I am asking.
Let's say that I'm asking
so that you actually have to answer.
He's... he's a good guy.
He's a really good guy.
And he's helped me a lot.
But, Jen, romance, it's not
a part of the plan right now.
Sam and her plans.
- I do love my plans.
- You do.
Should we get some food?
Yes, and put on some trashy TV?
I am so glad to see being a big-time exec
hasn't changed you.
Heaven on the dance floor
I've gotta,
I've gotta get some more
She was heaven...
I only know half the people here.
- Oh, my God.
- What?
Is that cupcake?
I only had one. Or two.
- It was...
- I almost didn't want to say anything because of...
I gotta get some more
You know, you know
I got to
Oh, that's our song.
That's definitely not our song.
No, no, not our song.
My song with Matt.
- Yes?
- On the dance floor now.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Come on.
Dance floor. Go.
Heaven on the dance floor
I've gotta,
I've gotta get some more
Oh, my gosh.
She was heaven on the dance floor
I've gotta,
I've gotta get some more
I've gotta get some more
Heaven on the dance floor
This is... this is
a little embarrassing, huh?
- It's not good, no.
- Good? No.
Frankie's so fashionable,
you'd think he would choose
a trendier dance than the vogue.
Get down, get down, get down
- What?
- Oh, God.
Oh, nice. Nice.
Why don't we go show them how it's done?
Let's go.
Heaven on the dance floor
I've gotta,
I've gotta get some more
She was heaven on the dance floor
I've gotta,
I've gotta get some more
I've gotta get some more
Heaven on the dance floor
I've gotta,
I've gotta get some more
You know, you know
I've gotta
I bet you can't eat that in one bite.
You know a better bet would be
how many of these Frankie has
already stuffed into his bag?
Oh, true, true.
He's got a bit of a problem.
Gotta work on that.
How's your night going?
Yeah, this... this is all good?
- Mm-hmm.
- Where's your...
Where's your partner in crime?
She is off hobnobbing
with LA's fashion elite.
Oh, are you trying to say
that this isn't your scene either?
Not really.
Yeah, I feel weirdly nervous
around all these people.
Even me?
Oh, especially you.
I think what you do is amazing, Sam.
You're amazing.
I think you're smart and funny
in a very dry,
borderline mean kind of way.
But I dig it.
And I think you're intelligent...
That's the same thing as smart.
See, that...
That very mean, but funny.
I'm sorry.
I... I just feel a little nervous right now.
I... I don't...
What I'm trying to say is,
is that when I'm around you,
I just feel like
I'm a better version of myself.
I have so much fun with you, and...
I like you.
I actually wrote a...
A spreadsheet for you.
- And it's just...
- I don't really have a spreadsheet.
I just thought that would be funny.
- Matt, I can't do this.
- Sorry, uh...
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
- It's not...
- No, it's...
- It's... it's really...
- Fine.
- It's not... it's not you.
- Fine, it is... fine.
Just a quick question.
I thought you were done hating romance.
I thought you were done
running away from all that.
I mean, we had so much fun
with Millie and Wyatt.
Yeah, that was them, not me.
I know, but... but you and me, like, that...
You can't deny we were a good team.
It really doesn't matter.
No, no, it does matter, though, Sam.
That's... that's it.
OK, do you remember when I said
I didn't have a lot of money for the ads?
Breanna already said that she's...
That's not... that's not
what I'm talking about.
That's not what I mean.
Just... just let me finish.
It's because of my sister.
She is going through a divorce right now.
And I've been trying to help her.
And it has gotten messy
and drawn out and ugly.
And she has always felt
like her and this guy
were just two different people.
And I just think that's...
That's how everybody lives their lives,
and I don't want that.
And then I meet someone as frustrating
and as amazing as you.
And I find out that
you are the best person
I have ever met...
- Matt...
- And we are a good team.
Matt, it doesn't...
It doesn't matter.
You make me better.
- You challenge me.
- So what?
It doesn't matter.
So what? So what? So what?
- What do you mean, "so what?"
- So what we're a good team?
So we make each other better now?
- Is that a problem?
- What happens in ten years?
- I can't tell you...
- What about in 20 years?
What happens when you wake up one day,
and you suddenly decide that
you've found something better?
You're right. You're right.
We are a good team.
We're great.
It's exactly why I can't be with you
'cause, look, great, it never lasts!
- Sam...
- Sorry.
What is wrong with you?
You did the right thing.
You did the right thing.
Definitely did the right thing.
Go to sleep, Sam.
You did the right thing.
Did I?
I don't know.
I... I talked to her last night.
I just said that I liked her.
- I don't...
- I don't understand what I did wrong, Frankie.
I thought I wasn't supposed to see you
until you walked down the aisle.
God, look at you.
You look so beautiful.
Thank you.
OK, what's going on?
Don, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what happened.
- I... I...
- Sam isn't here yet, honey.
Well, have you tried to call her?
I have been trying to call her all day.
Her phone is off.
I'd go to her house,
but I'm the last person
- that she wants to see.
- I can go.
No, I'll go.
What about the wedding?
Hey, that's my baby girl, OK?
Let me go figure it out, OK?
And I'll come right back as soon as I can.
Of course. Of course.
I'll just regale them with
some song and dance numbers.
You go be the wonderful father
that you are.
All right. OK.
- What the...
- Sammy!
Wha... oh, I'm so sorry!
I'm so sorry! I fell asleep.
I couldn't sleep,
so I turned off my phone,
and then a bird pooed on my head.
Well, they say that's good luck.
Ew. Who says that?
Wait, wait, why aren't you
at your wedding?
Hello? Because you aren't.
Look, Sam, it's time that
we talked about all this, OK?
Less chance of more luck
landing on your head.
And then the cat is found.
Holly and Paul share a passionate kiss.
He has always loved her,
and she can now finally love him
because she truly understands
what love is.
And that, that is
"Breakfast at Tiffany's."
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Is he back?
OK, go, go, go, go.
It's for you.
Thank you.
You look really nice.
Thank you.
OK, I'm gonna get my suit,
and we're gonna go.
Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam.
I'm gonna...
Let's just sit and talk for a second.
I'm sorry I ruined your rehearsal dinner.
You didn't.
And now your actual wedding.
Oh, please.
What's a gay wedding
without a little drama?
Sam, what's going on?
I don't know.
I don't know, Dad.
I don't know.
I think I'm pretty messed up.
I know, baby.
I'm just scared, you know,
of caring for someone,
of someone caring for me.
- I just...
- I don't want to take that chance.
Sam, what happened between your mom and me
has nothing to do with you.
It wasn't her fault.
It was no one's fault.
And I know you want someone to blame.
That person isn't here,
which makes it so much harder.
But you can't hide
your heart away forever.
Yeah, but you guys were so happy.
I know.
We were.
I mean, that's why your mom
is still my best friend.
I loved her then,
and I still love her now.
It had nothing to do with us
caring for each other
or you.
So you don't feel like
I was a mistake?
Like, maybe you would have
just been happier
- if you never had me?
- What?
- Oh, my God.
- I don't know.
What made you come up with that idea?
You're the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
Why didn't you just say that?
Why didn't you just tell me
what was going on?
Why couldn't you have just been honest?
I wasn't honest with myself, Sam,
my whole life.
It took me a long time to
figure out why I wasn't...
Why I wasn't happy.
- So you weren't happy.
- No, no.
That's not what I meant.
I was so happy with our family,
with you, your mom.
I felt like the luckiest guy in the world.
That's why it was so hard.
I felt like, "Here I am.
I have the perfect wife
"a perfect, beautiful daughter.
Why don't I feel complete?"
You know?
And then I met Frankie.
Through my arch nemesis, Matt.
I don't think he had a master plan.
I mean, you know Matt.
And I don't think
he's capable of coming up
with a master plan.
You know I did actually have to show him
what an Excel sheet is?
Oh, your success sheets.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
Point is, it's not Matt's fault.
I mean, I was just born
this way, you know?
He just gave me the courage
to accept who I am.
- Don't say it like that.
- What?
Oh, like he is some sort of hero.
Or at least a half decent guy.
He is.
You know that.
I'm just worried, you know?
I do.
Giving your heart to someone
is the scariest thing
to do in the world.
He's a good guy.
And he likes you a lot.
I'm really sorry about everything.
You're my daughter.
You never have to say you're sorry.
And I love you.
Love you.
Now, oh, come on.
I'd still like to get married today
if you would still be my best woman.
- Let's get you to the altar.
- Yes.
- Ready?
- OK.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and let's...
Let's get some of that
out of your hair, huh?
Oh, ew, ew, ew!
I totally forgot about that.
Oh, my God. How embarrassing
would that been
if I went still with this in my hair,
- walking down the aisle?
- Yeah, yeah, we're going.
Yeah, go, go, wedding.
Yeah, I'm going,
I'm going, I'm going.
Right, we're going, OK.
But unfortunately,
that's where the book and the movie differ
- because...
- They're here! They're here!
They're here! They're here.
- How do I look?
- You look good. Breath.
OK, Hello. Sorry, everyone.
So sorry, totally my fault.
Bird incident.
- Hi.
- I'm sorry.
It's OK.
I told them all about
my favorite Audrey Hepburn movies.
- They loved it, right, Matt?
- Mm-hmm.
- How are you doing, sweetie?
- Oh, I'm fine.
I just feel awful.
I'm really sorry.
No, don't be silly.
We are just glad that you're here now.
Thanks... Dad.
You're gonna make me cry
before the ceremony.
Don't cry.
Hey, guys, this is beautiful,
but the makeup's starting to melt.
People are looking like the end
of "Raiders of the Lost Ark."
- We should probably get started.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Come on, let's go.
- Let's go. Yes, OK.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we are gathered here today
to celebrate...
Ladies and gentlemen,
I now present to you
the two grooms.
Hey, where's Sam?
Oh, I think she's over there getting...
Oh, um, actually, I don't know.
Sorry. Sorry.
I mean, who knew that
turntables could make
that horrible noise, right?
Um, OK, I'm just going to
borrow this really quickly.
Sorry... sorry.
I'm fine.
Hi, everyone.
Um, I promise this won't take long.
Uh, I just wanted to say that my dad...
Hi, Dad...
Has always led by example,
whether it's how to sneak broccoli
under the table to the dog.
I remember that.
Or... or how to trip and then turn it into
a light jog so no one really
knows how clumsy you are.
You just did that this morning.
Stop her.
She's giving away my secrets.
He also taught me
how to be insanely organized
and how rules and charts
and always having a plan
can overcome any obstacle.
You see, I was thrown for
a loop when my dad met Frankie
because, well, this guy who
had always been so regimented
was suddenly throwing caution
to the wind and...
And taking a big swing on something
he couldn't have known the outcome of.
It threw me.
I mean, I was like, "Who is this guy?"
But what I didn't realize was,
he was just teaching me
another life lesson.
I'm not good at this whole
big, grand gesture thing,
but I do know I'm really tired
of playing it safe.
So, once again,
following in my dad's lead,
I am going to take a chance.
And instead of running the numbers
and sussing everything out,
I'm just gonna listen to my heart,
and my heart is telling me
I really want to give us a shot
if you'll go all in with me?
Well, lucky for you,
I ran the numbers.
They're perfect, Sam.
You are so perfect.
That was a really impressive speech.
Thank you.
You know, I actually learned
from this guy I met.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
He sounds amazing.
I bet that if I...
Mm-mm, no more bets.