The Dead Want Women (2012) Movie Script
(powerful suspenseful music)
(powerful theatrical music)
(powerful theatrical music)
(party goers conversing faintly)
("Lover Come Back To
Me" by Annette Hanshaw)
(party goers conversing faintly)
Still, the magic of the night I met you
Seems to stay forever in my mind
The sky was blue and high above
The moon was new and full of love
This eager heart of mine was singing
Lover where can you be
You came at last
Love had its day
That day is past
You've gone away
This aching heart of mine is singing
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank
you all for coming to this
momentous gallery event.
Everyone looks so dashing as ever.
A new film has opened to rave reviews,
and it is certainly destined to break
all previous box office notices.
And as we are all aware
this film which we celebrate tonight
would be nothing if it
weren't for its star
our lovely hostess this evening.
(audience applauding)
("Lover Come Back To
Me" by Annette Hanshaw)
This may as well be a wake.
That picture is practically belly up.
What do you mean?
The talk about the talkies, toots.
There's a new game in
town and it ain't Rose.
It's pictures with sound.
Sure she's gorgeous and all,
but nobody wants to hear what's
coming out of her pie hole
just like all dames.
Hush up you.
And so without further ado
it is my great pleasure
to introduce to you
our guest of honor and lovely hostess
who has so graciously opened her home
to us this evening
to hail this joyful occasion.
You know her as the brightest
and most lovely and captivating
siren of the silver screen.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the eternally beautiful
Ms. Rose Pettigrew.
(audience applause)
(powerful dramatic music)
[Woman In Pearls] You look beautiful.
Can I have an autograph?
(slow melodramatic music)
Not now darling.
[Woman In Pearls] Beautiful necklace.
It's very expensive,
and there isn't another one like it.
Roses for Rose,
the most beautiful of them all,
but I wonder how this one smells up close.
(soft poignant music)
Lovely.
Rose, Rose one moment.
That'll make a swell pic.
There we go.
Yes, we got it.
Gentlemen, I must
see to my other guests.
Don't miss me too much.
Looks like she's got some
bigger fish to fry, huh Bob?
Boys, that's the thorniest
Rose I've ever met.
(soft dramatic music)
Hello, boys.
Hi ya, Rosy.
Howdy, ma'am.
Rose (snarling).
My, my, my you fellas sure do know
how to make a girl feel welcomed.
Get rid of those awful
things will you darling?
This is some hootenanny
you have here, Ms. Rose.
Yeah, this is some swinging to do.
Just a little soiree
to celebrate the film
and my new pending
contract with the studio.
Norman's taking care of all the details.
When are we gonna really celebrate?
Patience, boys,
all in good time.
[Sonny] Hey, hey.
Speaking of the devil.
Here comes that pip squeak now.
Rose, Rose, Rose we have to talk.
Not now, Norman.
Don't be such a ninny.
But, Rose, we must talk.
I have very important news.
I think you heard the lady
she said run along little doggy.
(man barking)
With all respect, sirs
this matter of business
doesn't pertain to you.
Alright soldiers stand down.
(tense dramatic music)
I can handle this.
Thank you, Rose,
Ms. Pettigrew.
(soft dramatic music)
(squeaky door opening)
Ms. Pettigrew, I apologize
for the intrusion,
but this absolutely could not wait.
I just talked with the lawyer.
Lawyers, phooey.
I will have no speak of
lawyers on this night.
It's a party, Norman,
have a drink or how ever many
it takes to loosen you up.
Whatever it is will wait until tomorrow.
But, Rose
there is no tomorrow.
(soft dramatic music)
(party goers conversing faintly)
(soft dramatic music)
(eerie dramatic music)
(eerie dramatic music)
Well,
here we are.
You didn't start without me did you?
We wouldn't think of
not waiting on such a
good looking woman like yourself.
'Bout time ya made it.
Yeah, 'cause now we can
really get this party started.
[Sonny] Here we go.
And now your special
treat for your big day.
Get on the table.
[Rose] Boys, they're perfect.
You always know what I like.
[Tubby] Only the best for you, Rosy.
(woman moaning)
(man laughing)
(man barking)
(woman moaning)
(woman giggling)
(tense dramatic music)
(woman moaning)
(dramatic suspenseful music)
(woman moaning)
(woman groaning)
(woman groaning)
(climactic suspenseful music)
(woman moaning loudly)
Works for me.
I want this one.
[Tubby] That's good. I'll take this one.
(woman giggling)
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
(climactic suspenseful music)
(woman moaning loudly)
I'm a big fat cowboy.
(woman moaning loudly)
(woman groaning loudly)
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
("Are You Happy" by Annette Hanshaw)
(party goers conversing faintly)
(man whispering softly)
(tense dramatic music)
Excuse me have you seen Ms. Pettigrew?
She must've bailed on this lousy spread.
(tense dramatic music)
Rose.
(woman moaning faintly)
(tense dramatic music)
(woman moaning loudly)
Rose.
(woman moaning loudly)
Rose.
(climactic suspenseful music)
Yee-haw, yeah.
Yeah, not bad huh?
Not bad, huh?
(woman moaning loudly)
You little cunt.
You fucking bit me.
(tense suspenseful music)
[Norman] Oh, my.
Why you little cow pie.
I ought a blow your ass...
Sonny, no.
Stand down.
What is the meaning of this?
Norman.
Ms. Pettigrew, I...
Sorry I had no idea you
were in the middle of...
Spit it out.
Hey, you heard the lady spit it out.
This I...
Ms. Pettigrew, I must speak with you.
Rose, it's extremely urgent.
I think this conversation
is best held in private.
There's nothing you can't
say in front of my boys.
Out with it or else.
I just got word from the studio.
The film is a bomb.
(woman laughing)
That's it.
That's why you interrupted me.
Not exactly there's more unfortunately.
They tested the new talky
with audiences and...
No one cares about that the talkies.
It's a fade.
No, no, no the audience loved it.
The talky is the future.
The future is the talky.
The studio wants nothing
but them from now on
and no more silent pictures.
That's why they told...
(tense dramatic music)
That's why they what?
What's the matter,
Norman, cat got your tongue.
That's why they, the studio
cancelled your contract, Rose
Ms. Pettigrew.
Say that again.
The studio cancelled your contract.
Fix it.
There's nothing to fix.
I tried.
You know they've gone so far
as to ban you from the studio.
It's over.
It'll be aight just a misunderstanding.
Yeah, don't worry baby
everything's gonna be hunky-dory.
Yeah, maybe for you.
What about me?
Come on baby cake.
Come on remember what we
said together forever.
Do you really mean it?
You bet I do.
It's aight, baby.
Hey, baby cakes, put that
gun down nice and easy.
[Erik] You don't wanna do this, Rose.
I have to.
Watch where you pointing
that thing, sister.
(soft dramatic music)
It's just like you said
I'm holding you to it
Rose
Together
forever.
(tense dramatic music)
(woman crying)
(tense melodramatic music)
(woman gasping)
They forced the brightest
star to burn out.
(tense theatrical music)
[Danni] Well, here it is.
[Reese] It's been so long I
almost forgot how big it is.
[Danni] Yeah, and how much
work needs to be done to it.
[Reese] We just have to
clean it up a little bit,
make it presentable.
I mean the listing was as is
so the rest is up to the buyer.
[Danni] Yeah, and
maybe a vampire killer.
It's just so eerie.
It's too quiet.
Well, no one's been here in forever
since the last owner decades ago.
I just don't understand
how this house hasn't sold.
It's been sitting vacant
for what 80 years.
Something like that.
It's been in escrow a dozen
times with different agencies
and for some reason or another
they just all fell through.
Weird.
I mean the area's amazing,
price is reasonable enough
must be some major problems
we don't know about.
Or it's just destiny
that we were the ones to sell the house.
I mean we sold it in couple
weeks within taking it on.
Yeah, I think you might
be onto something there.
Just waiting for the two
hottest realtors in the world.
I mean think about what this
is gonna do for our business.
Not only is it gonna cover the
overhead for an entire year,
but people are gonna be talking about us.
We're gonna be the go-to
girls for the rich and famous.
For selling houses that is.
Yeah, or whatever (laughing).
[Reese] Shut up.
(gasping) Oh, my god.
I didn't mean to scare you that bad.
Oh, my god, yeah right.
What's wrong?
[Reese] Nothing.
[Danni] Seriously.
Okay. We did forget one
pretty important thing.
I guess the only thing to do now is...
Is what?
Make it official.
Do you want do the honors?
No, we do it together. We're a team.
[Reese] Okay.
Here.
There it's official.
Alright we got a lot of work to do.
Come on.
[Danni] Oh, god.
[Reese] Whoa, would
you look at this place.
[Danni] Would you look of
how much work we have to do.
(slow dramatic music)
(woman coughing)
Just remember to be careful
when you remove the sheets.
[Reese] Got ya.
[Danni] Next time we can
afford a cleaning crew.
[Reese] I hear ya.
[Danni] Man it's like a fairy tale.
This is what I've been dying to see.
It's beautiful.
I assume it doesn't work.
Doubt it but the
waters not turned on yet,
so there's no way to tell.
Who could afford these places?
The buyer is who.
If we don't get this house cleaned up
in the next couple
hours when he gets here,
then we're screwed.
He's gonna take one look at it,
and decide to spend his money elsewhere.
- But...
- No buts.
We can talk and work at the same time.
Come on, Danni.
[Danni] Okay.
(poignant dramatic music)
(soft chiming bells)
I think I'm gonna
check out that waterfall.
See if I can clean up some of that debris.
Okay, just leave the
dirty work for me then.
(gentle dramatic music)
(ducks quacking)
(door opening)
(birds squawking)
Earth to Reese.
Sorry.
Think all this dust is getting to my head.
What were you saying?
I was asking you about the buyer.
What's his deal?
Other than the fact that he's late
I don't really know anything about him.
Why don't you just call
him and tell him we're here.
I wish I could but
the only correspondence
he does is by letter.
Letter.
Who writes anything anymore?
Apparently he does.
Nice penmanship.
What's he do for a living?
You just wanna know
whether he's hot or not.
And available.
Well, you'll see when he
shows up, if he shows up.
Don't say that.
It's Hollywood.
He's just fashionably late.
Well, if he brings the cash
I'll forgive his tardiness.
Cash.
That's his payment of choice.
If he has that much cash,
I'll forgive him for anything
including ugly.
You know it looks
like we've made a dent.
Let's take a break.
Yeah, about time.
Careful.
(eerie suspenseful music)
Can you believe I got this going.
Hey, check this out.
What is that?
I found it by the waterfall.
It's beautiful.
Just costume jewelry you want it?
Let me see.
This isn't costume jewelry.
This could be worth a fortune.
It's fake why would someone
leave it here all these years.
Girl, bling is my thing,
and this is the real thing.
You should have this appraised.
Take it. I don't believe it.
No, finders keepers and
this is a mega keeper.
Let's see what it looks like on you.
Fine.
(tense suspenseful music)
How does it look?
Looks like it was made for you.
Where you going?
[Danni] I have a surprise.
No, I'm too tired I don't
think I can handle it.
Then I guess I will have
to finish this all by myself.
That's for the buyer.
[Danni] Nope, secret stash.
I wanted to celebrate
the most incredible sale
with the most incredible partner.
[Reese] Awe
thanks.
[Danni] Of course.
[Reese] Yum.
To the other most amazing
partner in the entire world.
Cheers.
This is house is amazing.
This wine is amazing.
Wonder why it never sold.
Do you want the real story
or the Hollywood story?
The real story I guess.
It's too damn expensive.
That sucks give me
the Hollywood version.
Okay, legend has it that it
was owned by Rose Pettigrew.
Rose Petti who?
Only one of the most famous
actresses that ever lived,
an icon of the silent era.
I hate silent movies.
Are you gonna let me finish.
Proceed.
An icon of silent movies,
class, fashion, and sexual excess.
Now I'm interested.
I guess she threw
these really wild parties
that were known for their
debauchery and perversions.
She was on top and nothing could stop her
except for her own voice.
Her voice.
The talkies debuted.
Thank heavens.
And I guess she had this
really horrible voice.
So the studio fired her immediately.
She just want completely insane
and killed all of her closest friends
and slit her own throat
right there over that waterfall.
(tense suspenseful music)
My God that's horrible.
Some people say that her
ghost still haunts this house.
Other say...
What do they say?
That it's just too damn expensive.
Jerk you really had me going.
Actually some of it really is true.
Rose was a huge star.
The other part I don't really
know how it got started.
Well, I know one thing
we need to kill off this bottle.
God this damn guy he's so late.
I know.
It's your call stay or go.
[Danni] Well, if we
go we may lose the sale.
You know these eccentric rich guys can be.
I know I wish I was one of them.
I say in the meantime we
party like a Pettigrew.
I think I will.
Cheers.
Cheers.
(soft melodramatic music)
(soft melodramatic music)
(tense dramatic music)
[Tubby] Come out, come
out wherever you are.
(man laughing)
(woman giggling)
Come here you.
(woman giggling)
(man giggling)
(tense suspenseful music)
[Erik] What is this
flower upon our doorstep?
A shrinking violet apparently.
[Erik] Join us.
No thank you.
How goes it?
Come on in, toots.
(man giggling)
Ma'am.
Have a seat.
[Tubby] Yeah.
For our shrinking violet.
Are you here for the shindig?
Of course she's here for the party.
I know aren't ya.
I mean it's the premier for your premier.
Cat got your tongue.
I'm not here for any party.
I'm here...
You should stick around.
It's gonna be real swell.
We always have the best times here
especially with such
beautiful creature as
yourself to play with.
No, honestly I don't
think you should be here.
Where else should we be?
We're always here. We belong here.
No, I don't think so.
My partner and I are selling this house.
Is that a fact well
this will cure what ails you.
Drink.
There this is so much better
don't you think.
So what's with the new twist anyhow
I ain't never seen her before.
Don't know.
What is your name, flower?
Reese,
my name's Reese.
A Reese by any other name...
And who are you?
You look familiar.
From the wild west
Sonny Barnes.
Howdy.
To the east Tubby Fitzgerald.
Hi ya.
And from the darkness
Erik Burke
at your service.
I know I've seen all of you before.
Everyone has lady.
Look I'm sorry I just can't place where.
You will.
You can count on that.
So to our new lovely friend Reese.
Say
what's with the costume any ways?
Costume?
He means the funny duds.
Studios don't like it when
you walk with their threads.
They'll dock your pay.
Okay, I've had about enough.
(tense suspenseful music)
I don't know what the
hell you're talking about
and I don't know what you're doing here,
but just cut the shit,
answer the question,
and get the hell out of
here before I call the cops.
(tense suspenseful music)
Who are you talking to?
Danni, call the police.
Why what's going on?
These men they...
[Danni] What men?
They were just here.
I was just talking to them.
You didn't see them?
You didn't hear me talking to them?
I heard you yelling like
crazy and it woke me up.
Good thing too.
Danni, I swear there were...
These guys were here.
I was just talking to them.
I think the wine is talking now.
Dammit I'm not drunk and I'm not crazy.
They were here. They
looked really familiar.
I feel like I know them for somewhere.
Well, who were they?
I don't know I can't pin point it
but there was this really creepy guy
and then there was this cowboy
and then there was this really fat guy.
Typical.
They were dressed like they
were going to this party.
They kept talking about
this party, this premier.
Like a movie premier?
Yeah, yeah they must be actors
that's why they looked familiar.
You believe me don't you?
It's Hollywood
I'll believe anything
especially out of work actors
squatting in our house
and sneaking out through the window.
But I also believe that
our buyer hasn't shown up,
and I don't think he's coming tonight.
You're probably right.
Look can we just go
home and get some sleep.
He'll probably just contact us tomorrow.
I was hoping we could finish tonight.
I mean that way it's done,
and we don't have to worry about it.
I don't know.
I mean we only have like an hour left
it'll be better tomorrow.
I'm just so tired.
I'm seeing things.
I can't even think straight.
Just take it easy.
Why don't you just finish
cleaning up down here.
I'll do the room at the top of the stairs.
That's it deal.
Deal.
Just hurry okay.
Okay.
I'll be right back.
(crickets chirping)
(soft dramatic music)
Man these people really knew how to live.
(soft dramatic music)
(soft dramatic music)
(soft dramatic music)
(woman screaming)
(powerful suspenseful music)
Reese.
Reese, where are you?
[Reese] I'm right here.
What, what, what is it?
[Danni] I think I
saw one of your actors.
[Reese] If they're still here
we need to make them leave.
No, they can have it.
We have to go right now.
Jesus, Reese, will you hurry up.
(women screaming)
[Reese] Let her go.
(tense suspenseful music)
(woman screaming)
All you get back here.
We ain't finished with ya.
Please just let us go.
We won't tell anyone you're here please.
[Erik] Let's get these
sweet treats downstairs.
[Tubby] You said a mouthful.
(woman screaming)
I'll get the other one.
(tense piano music)
(tense organ music)
(woman screaming)
[Danni] No.
No, stop
No.
Oh, my god, no.
Please don't please.
Let me go.
Let me go.
No, stop, no.
No, no, no.
No, no stop it.
Stop, no.
(woman crying)
[Sonny] You look like you
got a real bucking bronco.
[Erik] Don't just sit there.
Help me chain her up.
[Sonny] You look like you doing aight.
(woman screaming)
My god.
No, god, no, no.
[Sonny] Poor missy.
Gonna have a high time taming you.
Screw you.
Screw me.
Screw me.
Baby,
we'll have plenty of time for that.
(woman crying)
(woman screaming)
I love a gal who plays hard
to get but this is ridiculous.
(soft dramatic music)
I guess it's Tubby's time of play.
Marco.
Polo.
Dammit.
Come on out here already.
You're keeping everybody waiting.
(soft dramatic music)
(woman screaming loudly)
(woman screaming loudly)
[Danni] Oh, god.
I don't know why you
women always gotta be
so damn stubborn.
[Erik] You knew your role
when you accepted the part.
No, I don't know what
you're talking about.
I just wanna go home.
[Erik] Maybe this will
help you remember your line.
(woman screaming)
No, no, no.
No, oh, god no.
(man laughing)
[Sonny] Yeah.
(woman screaming)
[Woman With Bow Tie]
Isn't this dreamy, honey?
No, it's a nightmare.
(screaming) God, no.
(screaming) God, no, no.
No, oh, god.
(woman screaming)
(woman moaning)
[Sonny] Come on doll.
That a girl.
(woman screaming)
(man groaning)
(woman moaning)
[Danni] No, no, no, no.
Get off of me.
Get off me.
Get off me.
No, no, don't leave me.
No, get off me.
Get of me.
Me and you really gotta stop
running into each other like this.
[Reese] Let me go.
[Tubb] You ain't getting
away this time toots.
Ain't no way.
Want me to lasso her for you, Tubby?
Quit busting my hump, fellas.
I got it. I got it.
Are you sure?
Sure I'm sure.
Now don't just stand around mugging
go tell her we're ready already.
We gotta be sure.
You know how she is
about being kept waiting.
Go get her.
I'll get her. I'll get her.
Keep it warm for me.
I'll be waiting so scoot.
(man laughing)
Come here, dolly.
Been a long time.
[Danni] I'm so sorry
I didn't believe you.
It's okay.
How could you have known.
You've always taking care of me.
You've never lied to me.
Should've just done what you said.
It's gonna be okay.
We're together now it's gonna be fine.
[Danni] Should've just
left when you wanted to.
Just don't freak, okay.
I don't want you to cry.
Don't give them the satisfaction.
Boo-hoo ain't that rich.
All you dames shut your traps.
They're gonna kill us aren't they?
Aren't they?
Aren't they?
We're gonna do far worse than that.
Like hell you will.
You have no idea
how much we'll make you scream.
[Danni] Is he dead?
[Reese] We're not
sticking around to find out.
Can you run?
[Danni] I'll fly if I have to.
(powerful suspenseful music)
[Reese] Dead end.
Darn tooten it's a dead end, yours.
Drop her you son of a bitch.
I like your style girly.
But do you know
I am the fastest draw in Hollywood.
Gonna find out soon enough.
Alright here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna have a good old fashion dual.
We're gonna turn back
to back, walk five paces
one, two, three, four, five turn and kill.
Are you ready?
One, two, three.
You cheated girl.
[Danni] Come on this way.
(powerful suspenseful music)
[Reese] No,
Danni.
It's a crying shame isn't it?
Alive, dead I'm gonna have you
while you're being the bell of the ball,
while you being such a pain in my ass.
I'm going out that door
even if I have go through you.
I'm gonna teach you respect.
Wait, okay, this isn't fair.
You're not even giving
me a fighting chance.
Is the cat done playing
with the little mouse?
Okay.
To die by the blade of
the knife is honorable
don't you think?
A man's way to die
personal to see the eyes
of the one that will take you life
to smell his victory.
No.
Then you're not gonna like
how this picture ends lady
because I'm getting bored.
Please, please just let us go.
I never considered that one.
Please.
Not a chance.
Danni.
Come on, come on we gotta get out of here.
Come on.
Come on I can't carry you, Danni.
Please gotta help me.
No, no, no come on.
Get up. Get up.
Action.
(woman screaming)
(woman screaming)
Keep screaming
it's music to my ears.
What baby cakes
you thought we just rode
off into the sunset.
It ain't the end for us.
We're the stars.
We always survive the final reel,
but it's curtains for you.
No, people will be looking for me.
There's a man he's coming here any minute.
(man laughing)
Would you be speaking
about the potential buyer
of this house?
Yes, yes, he's coming.
He's gonna find me.
(man laughing)
Sorry baby cakes
but I don't think he's gonna make it.
Or more likely he's here already.
One of my finest roles
if I can be so bold.
What do you think, fellas?
[Tubby] Bravesema.
You can't keep me here.
In due time you will be free
to waltz right out the door.
Missy, you should feel mighty grateful.
It isn't often a girl like yourself
gets invited to such a
special premier like this.
Hell, you're a VIP.
You should cherish the honor.
We have been holding casting
sessions for decades,
but never before could we find
such incredible beauty as yourself.
You played your part exquisitely.
You are indeed ingenue
and a flower that will forever bloom.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Think of it
you will be the new contract
girl for our little studio
forever.
I don't know what they see in you.
You're a dime a dozen.
I just wanna go home.
You are home.
Look you can have the house.
You can have it please just
please I won't say anything.
I promise I won't say anything please.
It's not the house.
It's never been about the house.
It's always been about you.
A house is of mortar and brick,
but a star
a star is eternal.
I'm not a star.
I don't wanna be a star.
I just wanna go home.
Enough of this ingenue ass kissing.
Let's get on with it.
Take it away, Tubby.
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls of all ages,
it is our undying pleasure
to reintroduce to you
after too long an absence
the swellest,
shiniest star of the silver screen
then, now, and forever.
Prepare yourself
for the triumphant return
of our leading lady.
You know her.
You love her
Ms. Rosy Pettigrew.
(soft dramatic music)
Hello, boys.
[Sonny] You're sure
a sight for sore eyes.
[Tubby] Hi ya, Rosy, welcome back.
Rosy, we have something for you.
[Erik] A gift of love for our love.
Beautiful.
Don't touch me you bitch.
(soft melodramatic music)
I knew she had star quality.
Star quality you stupid mook.
You said I have star quality
and for what I've waited
all these years for her.
(woman screaming)
(woman gasping)
Golly.
Let's get this rodeo started.
Yeah, on with the show.
(soft melodramatic music)
Don't.
I have missed you for so long.
Don't forget our supporting roles.
Together
forever.
(tense climactic music)
Are you ready for your close up?
Action.
(powerful theatrical music)
That you broke your vow
Tell me truly
Old pal of mine
Are you really
Happy now
(soft melodramatic music)
(powerful theatrical music)
(powerful theatrical music)
(party goers conversing faintly)
("Lover Come Back To
Me" by Annette Hanshaw)
(party goers conversing faintly)
Still, the magic of the night I met you
Seems to stay forever in my mind
The sky was blue and high above
The moon was new and full of love
This eager heart of mine was singing
Lover where can you be
You came at last
Love had its day
That day is past
You've gone away
This aching heart of mine is singing
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank
you all for coming to this
momentous gallery event.
Everyone looks so dashing as ever.
A new film has opened to rave reviews,
and it is certainly destined to break
all previous box office notices.
And as we are all aware
this film which we celebrate tonight
would be nothing if it
weren't for its star
our lovely hostess this evening.
(audience applauding)
("Lover Come Back To
Me" by Annette Hanshaw)
This may as well be a wake.
That picture is practically belly up.
What do you mean?
The talk about the talkies, toots.
There's a new game in
town and it ain't Rose.
It's pictures with sound.
Sure she's gorgeous and all,
but nobody wants to hear what's
coming out of her pie hole
just like all dames.
Hush up you.
And so without further ado
it is my great pleasure
to introduce to you
our guest of honor and lovely hostess
who has so graciously opened her home
to us this evening
to hail this joyful occasion.
You know her as the brightest
and most lovely and captivating
siren of the silver screen.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the eternally beautiful
Ms. Rose Pettigrew.
(audience applause)
(powerful dramatic music)
[Woman In Pearls] You look beautiful.
Can I have an autograph?
(slow melodramatic music)
Not now darling.
[Woman In Pearls] Beautiful necklace.
It's very expensive,
and there isn't another one like it.
Roses for Rose,
the most beautiful of them all,
but I wonder how this one smells up close.
(soft poignant music)
Lovely.
Rose, Rose one moment.
That'll make a swell pic.
There we go.
Yes, we got it.
Gentlemen, I must
see to my other guests.
Don't miss me too much.
Looks like she's got some
bigger fish to fry, huh Bob?
Boys, that's the thorniest
Rose I've ever met.
(soft dramatic music)
Hello, boys.
Hi ya, Rosy.
Howdy, ma'am.
Rose (snarling).
My, my, my you fellas sure do know
how to make a girl feel welcomed.
Get rid of those awful
things will you darling?
This is some hootenanny
you have here, Ms. Rose.
Yeah, this is some swinging to do.
Just a little soiree
to celebrate the film
and my new pending
contract with the studio.
Norman's taking care of all the details.
When are we gonna really celebrate?
Patience, boys,
all in good time.
[Sonny] Hey, hey.
Speaking of the devil.
Here comes that pip squeak now.
Rose, Rose, Rose we have to talk.
Not now, Norman.
Don't be such a ninny.
But, Rose, we must talk.
I have very important news.
I think you heard the lady
she said run along little doggy.
(man barking)
With all respect, sirs
this matter of business
doesn't pertain to you.
Alright soldiers stand down.
(tense dramatic music)
I can handle this.
Thank you, Rose,
Ms. Pettigrew.
(soft dramatic music)
(squeaky door opening)
Ms. Pettigrew, I apologize
for the intrusion,
but this absolutely could not wait.
I just talked with the lawyer.
Lawyers, phooey.
I will have no speak of
lawyers on this night.
It's a party, Norman,
have a drink or how ever many
it takes to loosen you up.
Whatever it is will wait until tomorrow.
But, Rose
there is no tomorrow.
(soft dramatic music)
(party goers conversing faintly)
(soft dramatic music)
(eerie dramatic music)
(eerie dramatic music)
Well,
here we are.
You didn't start without me did you?
We wouldn't think of
not waiting on such a
good looking woman like yourself.
'Bout time ya made it.
Yeah, 'cause now we can
really get this party started.
[Sonny] Here we go.
And now your special
treat for your big day.
Get on the table.
[Rose] Boys, they're perfect.
You always know what I like.
[Tubby] Only the best for you, Rosy.
(woman moaning)
(man laughing)
(man barking)
(woman moaning)
(woman giggling)
(tense dramatic music)
(woman moaning)
(dramatic suspenseful music)
(woman moaning)
(woman groaning)
(woman groaning)
(climactic suspenseful music)
(woman moaning loudly)
Works for me.
I want this one.
[Tubby] That's good. I'll take this one.
(woman giggling)
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
(climactic suspenseful music)
(woman moaning loudly)
I'm a big fat cowboy.
(woman moaning loudly)
(woman groaning loudly)
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
("Are You Happy" by Annette Hanshaw)
(party goers conversing faintly)
(man whispering softly)
(tense dramatic music)
Excuse me have you seen Ms. Pettigrew?
She must've bailed on this lousy spread.
(tense dramatic music)
Rose.
(woman moaning faintly)
(tense dramatic music)
(woman moaning loudly)
Rose.
(woman moaning loudly)
Rose.
(climactic suspenseful music)
Yee-haw, yeah.
Yeah, not bad huh?
Not bad, huh?
(woman moaning loudly)
You little cunt.
You fucking bit me.
(tense suspenseful music)
[Norman] Oh, my.
Why you little cow pie.
I ought a blow your ass...
Sonny, no.
Stand down.
What is the meaning of this?
Norman.
Ms. Pettigrew, I...
Sorry I had no idea you
were in the middle of...
Spit it out.
Hey, you heard the lady spit it out.
This I...
Ms. Pettigrew, I must speak with you.
Rose, it's extremely urgent.
I think this conversation
is best held in private.
There's nothing you can't
say in front of my boys.
Out with it or else.
I just got word from the studio.
The film is a bomb.
(woman laughing)
That's it.
That's why you interrupted me.
Not exactly there's more unfortunately.
They tested the new talky
with audiences and...
No one cares about that the talkies.
It's a fade.
No, no, no the audience loved it.
The talky is the future.
The future is the talky.
The studio wants nothing
but them from now on
and no more silent pictures.
That's why they told...
(tense dramatic music)
That's why they what?
What's the matter,
Norman, cat got your tongue.
That's why they, the studio
cancelled your contract, Rose
Ms. Pettigrew.
Say that again.
The studio cancelled your contract.
Fix it.
There's nothing to fix.
I tried.
You know they've gone so far
as to ban you from the studio.
It's over.
It'll be aight just a misunderstanding.
Yeah, don't worry baby
everything's gonna be hunky-dory.
Yeah, maybe for you.
What about me?
Come on baby cake.
Come on remember what we
said together forever.
Do you really mean it?
You bet I do.
It's aight, baby.
Hey, baby cakes, put that
gun down nice and easy.
[Erik] You don't wanna do this, Rose.
I have to.
Watch where you pointing
that thing, sister.
(soft dramatic music)
It's just like you said
I'm holding you to it
Rose
Together
forever.
(tense dramatic music)
(woman crying)
(tense melodramatic music)
(woman gasping)
They forced the brightest
star to burn out.
(tense theatrical music)
[Danni] Well, here it is.
[Reese] It's been so long I
almost forgot how big it is.
[Danni] Yeah, and how much
work needs to be done to it.
[Reese] We just have to
clean it up a little bit,
make it presentable.
I mean the listing was as is
so the rest is up to the buyer.
[Danni] Yeah, and
maybe a vampire killer.
It's just so eerie.
It's too quiet.
Well, no one's been here in forever
since the last owner decades ago.
I just don't understand
how this house hasn't sold.
It's been sitting vacant
for what 80 years.
Something like that.
It's been in escrow a dozen
times with different agencies
and for some reason or another
they just all fell through.
Weird.
I mean the area's amazing,
price is reasonable enough
must be some major problems
we don't know about.
Or it's just destiny
that we were the ones to sell the house.
I mean we sold it in couple
weeks within taking it on.
Yeah, I think you might
be onto something there.
Just waiting for the two
hottest realtors in the world.
I mean think about what this
is gonna do for our business.
Not only is it gonna cover the
overhead for an entire year,
but people are gonna be talking about us.
We're gonna be the go-to
girls for the rich and famous.
For selling houses that is.
Yeah, or whatever (laughing).
[Reese] Shut up.
(gasping) Oh, my god.
I didn't mean to scare you that bad.
Oh, my god, yeah right.
What's wrong?
[Reese] Nothing.
[Danni] Seriously.
Okay. We did forget one
pretty important thing.
I guess the only thing to do now is...
Is what?
Make it official.
Do you want do the honors?
No, we do it together. We're a team.
[Reese] Okay.
Here.
There it's official.
Alright we got a lot of work to do.
Come on.
[Danni] Oh, god.
[Reese] Whoa, would
you look at this place.
[Danni] Would you look of
how much work we have to do.
(slow dramatic music)
(woman coughing)
Just remember to be careful
when you remove the sheets.
[Reese] Got ya.
[Danni] Next time we can
afford a cleaning crew.
[Reese] I hear ya.
[Danni] Man it's like a fairy tale.
This is what I've been dying to see.
It's beautiful.
I assume it doesn't work.
Doubt it but the
waters not turned on yet,
so there's no way to tell.
Who could afford these places?
The buyer is who.
If we don't get this house cleaned up
in the next couple
hours when he gets here,
then we're screwed.
He's gonna take one look at it,
and decide to spend his money elsewhere.
- But...
- No buts.
We can talk and work at the same time.
Come on, Danni.
[Danni] Okay.
(poignant dramatic music)
(soft chiming bells)
I think I'm gonna
check out that waterfall.
See if I can clean up some of that debris.
Okay, just leave the
dirty work for me then.
(gentle dramatic music)
(ducks quacking)
(door opening)
(birds squawking)
Earth to Reese.
Sorry.
Think all this dust is getting to my head.
What were you saying?
I was asking you about the buyer.
What's his deal?
Other than the fact that he's late
I don't really know anything about him.
Why don't you just call
him and tell him we're here.
I wish I could but
the only correspondence
he does is by letter.
Letter.
Who writes anything anymore?
Apparently he does.
Nice penmanship.
What's he do for a living?
You just wanna know
whether he's hot or not.
And available.
Well, you'll see when he
shows up, if he shows up.
Don't say that.
It's Hollywood.
He's just fashionably late.
Well, if he brings the cash
I'll forgive his tardiness.
Cash.
That's his payment of choice.
If he has that much cash,
I'll forgive him for anything
including ugly.
You know it looks
like we've made a dent.
Let's take a break.
Yeah, about time.
Careful.
(eerie suspenseful music)
Can you believe I got this going.
Hey, check this out.
What is that?
I found it by the waterfall.
It's beautiful.
Just costume jewelry you want it?
Let me see.
This isn't costume jewelry.
This could be worth a fortune.
It's fake why would someone
leave it here all these years.
Girl, bling is my thing,
and this is the real thing.
You should have this appraised.
Take it. I don't believe it.
No, finders keepers and
this is a mega keeper.
Let's see what it looks like on you.
Fine.
(tense suspenseful music)
How does it look?
Looks like it was made for you.
Where you going?
[Danni] I have a surprise.
No, I'm too tired I don't
think I can handle it.
Then I guess I will have
to finish this all by myself.
That's for the buyer.
[Danni] Nope, secret stash.
I wanted to celebrate
the most incredible sale
with the most incredible partner.
[Reese] Awe
thanks.
[Danni] Of course.
[Reese] Yum.
To the other most amazing
partner in the entire world.
Cheers.
This is house is amazing.
This wine is amazing.
Wonder why it never sold.
Do you want the real story
or the Hollywood story?
The real story I guess.
It's too damn expensive.
That sucks give me
the Hollywood version.
Okay, legend has it that it
was owned by Rose Pettigrew.
Rose Petti who?
Only one of the most famous
actresses that ever lived,
an icon of the silent era.
I hate silent movies.
Are you gonna let me finish.
Proceed.
An icon of silent movies,
class, fashion, and sexual excess.
Now I'm interested.
I guess she threw
these really wild parties
that were known for their
debauchery and perversions.
She was on top and nothing could stop her
except for her own voice.
Her voice.
The talkies debuted.
Thank heavens.
And I guess she had this
really horrible voice.
So the studio fired her immediately.
She just want completely insane
and killed all of her closest friends
and slit her own throat
right there over that waterfall.
(tense suspenseful music)
My God that's horrible.
Some people say that her
ghost still haunts this house.
Other say...
What do they say?
That it's just too damn expensive.
Jerk you really had me going.
Actually some of it really is true.
Rose was a huge star.
The other part I don't really
know how it got started.
Well, I know one thing
we need to kill off this bottle.
God this damn guy he's so late.
I know.
It's your call stay or go.
[Danni] Well, if we
go we may lose the sale.
You know these eccentric rich guys can be.
I know I wish I was one of them.
I say in the meantime we
party like a Pettigrew.
I think I will.
Cheers.
Cheers.
(soft melodramatic music)
(soft melodramatic music)
(tense dramatic music)
[Tubby] Come out, come
out wherever you are.
(man laughing)
(woman giggling)
Come here you.
(woman giggling)
(man giggling)
(tense suspenseful music)
[Erik] What is this
flower upon our doorstep?
A shrinking violet apparently.
[Erik] Join us.
No thank you.
How goes it?
Come on in, toots.
(man giggling)
Ma'am.
Have a seat.
[Tubby] Yeah.
For our shrinking violet.
Are you here for the shindig?
Of course she's here for the party.
I know aren't ya.
I mean it's the premier for your premier.
Cat got your tongue.
I'm not here for any party.
I'm here...
You should stick around.
It's gonna be real swell.
We always have the best times here
especially with such
beautiful creature as
yourself to play with.
No, honestly I don't
think you should be here.
Where else should we be?
We're always here. We belong here.
No, I don't think so.
My partner and I are selling this house.
Is that a fact well
this will cure what ails you.
Drink.
There this is so much better
don't you think.
So what's with the new twist anyhow
I ain't never seen her before.
Don't know.
What is your name, flower?
Reese,
my name's Reese.
A Reese by any other name...
And who are you?
You look familiar.
From the wild west
Sonny Barnes.
Howdy.
To the east Tubby Fitzgerald.
Hi ya.
And from the darkness
Erik Burke
at your service.
I know I've seen all of you before.
Everyone has lady.
Look I'm sorry I just can't place where.
You will.
You can count on that.
So to our new lovely friend Reese.
Say
what's with the costume any ways?
Costume?
He means the funny duds.
Studios don't like it when
you walk with their threads.
They'll dock your pay.
Okay, I've had about enough.
(tense suspenseful music)
I don't know what the
hell you're talking about
and I don't know what you're doing here,
but just cut the shit,
answer the question,
and get the hell out of
here before I call the cops.
(tense suspenseful music)
Who are you talking to?
Danni, call the police.
Why what's going on?
These men they...
[Danni] What men?
They were just here.
I was just talking to them.
You didn't see them?
You didn't hear me talking to them?
I heard you yelling like
crazy and it woke me up.
Good thing too.
Danni, I swear there were...
These guys were here.
I was just talking to them.
I think the wine is talking now.
Dammit I'm not drunk and I'm not crazy.
They were here. They
looked really familiar.
I feel like I know them for somewhere.
Well, who were they?
I don't know I can't pin point it
but there was this really creepy guy
and then there was this cowboy
and then there was this really fat guy.
Typical.
They were dressed like they
were going to this party.
They kept talking about
this party, this premier.
Like a movie premier?
Yeah, yeah they must be actors
that's why they looked familiar.
You believe me don't you?
It's Hollywood
I'll believe anything
especially out of work actors
squatting in our house
and sneaking out through the window.
But I also believe that
our buyer hasn't shown up,
and I don't think he's coming tonight.
You're probably right.
Look can we just go
home and get some sleep.
He'll probably just contact us tomorrow.
I was hoping we could finish tonight.
I mean that way it's done,
and we don't have to worry about it.
I don't know.
I mean we only have like an hour left
it'll be better tomorrow.
I'm just so tired.
I'm seeing things.
I can't even think straight.
Just take it easy.
Why don't you just finish
cleaning up down here.
I'll do the room at the top of the stairs.
That's it deal.
Deal.
Just hurry okay.
Okay.
I'll be right back.
(crickets chirping)
(soft dramatic music)
Man these people really knew how to live.
(soft dramatic music)
(soft dramatic music)
(soft dramatic music)
(woman screaming)
(powerful suspenseful music)
Reese.
Reese, where are you?
[Reese] I'm right here.
What, what, what is it?
[Danni] I think I
saw one of your actors.
[Reese] If they're still here
we need to make them leave.
No, they can have it.
We have to go right now.
Jesus, Reese, will you hurry up.
(women screaming)
[Reese] Let her go.
(tense suspenseful music)
(woman screaming)
All you get back here.
We ain't finished with ya.
Please just let us go.
We won't tell anyone you're here please.
[Erik] Let's get these
sweet treats downstairs.
[Tubby] You said a mouthful.
(woman screaming)
I'll get the other one.
(tense piano music)
(tense organ music)
(woman screaming)
[Danni] No.
No, stop
No.
Oh, my god, no.
Please don't please.
Let me go.
Let me go.
No, stop, no.
No, no, no.
No, no stop it.
Stop, no.
(woman crying)
[Sonny] You look like you
got a real bucking bronco.
[Erik] Don't just sit there.
Help me chain her up.
[Sonny] You look like you doing aight.
(woman screaming)
My god.
No, god, no, no.
[Sonny] Poor missy.
Gonna have a high time taming you.
Screw you.
Screw me.
Screw me.
Baby,
we'll have plenty of time for that.
(woman crying)
(woman screaming)
I love a gal who plays hard
to get but this is ridiculous.
(soft dramatic music)
I guess it's Tubby's time of play.
Marco.
Polo.
Dammit.
Come on out here already.
You're keeping everybody waiting.
(soft dramatic music)
(woman screaming loudly)
(woman screaming loudly)
[Danni] Oh, god.
I don't know why you
women always gotta be
so damn stubborn.
[Erik] You knew your role
when you accepted the part.
No, I don't know what
you're talking about.
I just wanna go home.
[Erik] Maybe this will
help you remember your line.
(woman screaming)
No, no, no.
No, oh, god no.
(man laughing)
[Sonny] Yeah.
(woman screaming)
[Woman With Bow Tie]
Isn't this dreamy, honey?
No, it's a nightmare.
(screaming) God, no.
(screaming) God, no, no.
No, oh, god.
(woman screaming)
(woman moaning)
[Sonny] Come on doll.
That a girl.
(woman screaming)
(man groaning)
(woman moaning)
[Danni] No, no, no, no.
Get off of me.
Get off me.
Get off me.
No, no, don't leave me.
No, get off me.
Get of me.
Me and you really gotta stop
running into each other like this.
[Reese] Let me go.
[Tubb] You ain't getting
away this time toots.
Ain't no way.
Want me to lasso her for you, Tubby?
Quit busting my hump, fellas.
I got it. I got it.
Are you sure?
Sure I'm sure.
Now don't just stand around mugging
go tell her we're ready already.
We gotta be sure.
You know how she is
about being kept waiting.
Go get her.
I'll get her. I'll get her.
Keep it warm for me.
I'll be waiting so scoot.
(man laughing)
Come here, dolly.
Been a long time.
[Danni] I'm so sorry
I didn't believe you.
It's okay.
How could you have known.
You've always taking care of me.
You've never lied to me.
Should've just done what you said.
It's gonna be okay.
We're together now it's gonna be fine.
[Danni] Should've just
left when you wanted to.
Just don't freak, okay.
I don't want you to cry.
Don't give them the satisfaction.
Boo-hoo ain't that rich.
All you dames shut your traps.
They're gonna kill us aren't they?
Aren't they?
Aren't they?
We're gonna do far worse than that.
Like hell you will.
You have no idea
how much we'll make you scream.
[Danni] Is he dead?
[Reese] We're not
sticking around to find out.
Can you run?
[Danni] I'll fly if I have to.
(powerful suspenseful music)
[Reese] Dead end.
Darn tooten it's a dead end, yours.
Drop her you son of a bitch.
I like your style girly.
But do you know
I am the fastest draw in Hollywood.
Gonna find out soon enough.
Alright here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna have a good old fashion dual.
We're gonna turn back
to back, walk five paces
one, two, three, four, five turn and kill.
Are you ready?
One, two, three.
You cheated girl.
[Danni] Come on this way.
(powerful suspenseful music)
[Reese] No,
Danni.
It's a crying shame isn't it?
Alive, dead I'm gonna have you
while you're being the bell of the ball,
while you being such a pain in my ass.
I'm going out that door
even if I have go through you.
I'm gonna teach you respect.
Wait, okay, this isn't fair.
You're not even giving
me a fighting chance.
Is the cat done playing
with the little mouse?
Okay.
To die by the blade of
the knife is honorable
don't you think?
A man's way to die
personal to see the eyes
of the one that will take you life
to smell his victory.
No.
Then you're not gonna like
how this picture ends lady
because I'm getting bored.
Please, please just let us go.
I never considered that one.
Please.
Not a chance.
Danni.
Come on, come on we gotta get out of here.
Come on.
Come on I can't carry you, Danni.
Please gotta help me.
No, no, no come on.
Get up. Get up.
Action.
(woman screaming)
(woman screaming)
Keep screaming
it's music to my ears.
What baby cakes
you thought we just rode
off into the sunset.
It ain't the end for us.
We're the stars.
We always survive the final reel,
but it's curtains for you.
No, people will be looking for me.
There's a man he's coming here any minute.
(man laughing)
Would you be speaking
about the potential buyer
of this house?
Yes, yes, he's coming.
He's gonna find me.
(man laughing)
Sorry baby cakes
but I don't think he's gonna make it.
Or more likely he's here already.
One of my finest roles
if I can be so bold.
What do you think, fellas?
[Tubby] Bravesema.
You can't keep me here.
In due time you will be free
to waltz right out the door.
Missy, you should feel mighty grateful.
It isn't often a girl like yourself
gets invited to such a
special premier like this.
Hell, you're a VIP.
You should cherish the honor.
We have been holding casting
sessions for decades,
but never before could we find
such incredible beauty as yourself.
You played your part exquisitely.
You are indeed ingenue
and a flower that will forever bloom.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Think of it
you will be the new contract
girl for our little studio
forever.
I don't know what they see in you.
You're a dime a dozen.
I just wanna go home.
You are home.
Look you can have the house.
You can have it please just
please I won't say anything.
I promise I won't say anything please.
It's not the house.
It's never been about the house.
It's always been about you.
A house is of mortar and brick,
but a star
a star is eternal.
I'm not a star.
I don't wanna be a star.
I just wanna go home.
Enough of this ingenue ass kissing.
Let's get on with it.
Take it away, Tubby.
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls of all ages,
it is our undying pleasure
to reintroduce to you
after too long an absence
the swellest,
shiniest star of the silver screen
then, now, and forever.
Prepare yourself
for the triumphant return
of our leading lady.
You know her.
You love her
Ms. Rosy Pettigrew.
(soft dramatic music)
Hello, boys.
[Sonny] You're sure
a sight for sore eyes.
[Tubby] Hi ya, Rosy, welcome back.
Rosy, we have something for you.
[Erik] A gift of love for our love.
Beautiful.
Don't touch me you bitch.
(soft melodramatic music)
I knew she had star quality.
Star quality you stupid mook.
You said I have star quality
and for what I've waited
all these years for her.
(woman screaming)
(woman gasping)
Golly.
Let's get this rodeo started.
Yeah, on with the show.
(soft melodramatic music)
Don't.
I have missed you for so long.
Don't forget our supporting roles.
Together
forever.
(tense climactic music)
Are you ready for your close up?
Action.
(powerful theatrical music)
That you broke your vow
Tell me truly
Old pal of mine
Are you really
Happy now
(soft melodramatic music)