The Deadbeats (2019) Movie Script

(upbeat instrumental music)
(car chugs)
(horn beeps)
(upbeat instrumental music)
- [Man] Hey, honey, the clown is here.
(upbeat instrumental music)
(upbeat instrumental music)
- Did somebody request a clown?
- You betcha!
- Put her there.
- Oh, you got me!
You're gonna be worth every penny.
Kevin just blew out the candles, come on.
(upbeat instrumental music)
- [Kid] You're not gonna get me today!
- [Kid] Yes, I am. (shouts)
- [Kid] Help me!
- Okay, wait right here, I
wanna introduce you, okay?
- [Clown] Yeah.
- Okay, kids, gather 'round.
Come on, gather 'round, kids.
(upbeat instrumental music)
okay, I wanna introduce you guys
to a very special entertainer,
all the way from the high
seas of the Caribbean,
Mr. Patch the Magical Pirate Clown.
- Arr, you landlubbers.
Me gold real heavy, I'm
glad to put it down.
Are you all ready for a magic show?
- [Kids] Yay!
- Now before we get started,
I got a joke for all of you.
How much does it cost a pirate
to get his ears pierced?
Buck an ear.
(laughing and clapping)
All righty, how many
of you like to juggle?
All right, well I'll
be doing the juggling.
All right, everybody,
I'm going to do my best
with one eye.
Used to have two, but I lost
the other one out to sea.
So bear with me.
(cheering and clapping)
- [Kid] Whoa!
- All right, we're
gonna sing a little song
together, everybody.
Are you all pirates like me?
- [Kids] Yeah!
- All right.
We're all pirates on the sea, right
Are you a pirate
- [Kid] Yeah!
All right, another pirate
Who's a pirate like me
- Me.
- We are!
We're all pirates
Now everybody dance with me
Pirates all
Oh, yeah
Pirates are the best
'Cause they have the most
fun on the ocean floor
They love to hang around their boats
And I love pirates just like you
Ahoy there, mateys
You are pirates
You are all pirates, too
(heels click)
(piercing beep)
(piercing beep)
(alarm beeping)
(static hisses)
How much longer is this life gonna take?
- [Man With Mohawk] Got some more boxes.
- I left some candles in the car.
- Oh yeah?
- I thought we could
light them while we pack.
- Okay, that sounds amazing.
(repetitive ambient music)
what's he doing here?
- Barry?
Goddamn it, I told him
I needed time to pack
and to stay the fuck away from me.
- [Man With Mohawk] Great,
this is gonna be fun.
- Well, like I said,
he likes to start shit.
(repetitive ambient music)
- Seriously?
Who the fuck's Sid Vicious, Tiffany?
One of your new boy toys?
- Fuck off, he's a friend,
and he's helping me pack.
You're not supposed to be here.
- Whatever.
Just don't take any of my shit.
You hear me, boy toy?
You might be banging the dumb broad,
but keep your hands off my things,
or what's left of my things.
- Hey, fuck you, man.
- What's that, pal?
- I'm not your pal.
- Yeah, I know you're not.
Punk ass.
- [Tiffany] You guys, stop it.
No, don't!
- [Mr. Patch] Oh, fuck!
- What's up, bitch.
Fuck you, man.
Let's go, Tiffany.
We'll finish this BS later.
- [Tiffany] Go fuck yourself.
- Don't let the fucking door
kick your ass on the way out.
Fucking bitches.
(rumbling rock music)
Here he comes like
a contagious disease
That's for certain,
fighting all that he sees
Knights in in armor lay literally
'Cause he'll put you
out of your misery
Dr. Cut Throat's taking revenge
Repulsively handsome,
he'll hold you for ransom
Dr. Cutthroat's at it again
Chasing you through halls,
doesn't make house calls
Ether on his breath,
he's the kisser of death
He's about to clean your infections
A hypo in one hand,
whisky in the other
Giving you an alcoholic injection
And I'm lucky in everything but love
And I'm lucky in everything but love
And I'm lucky
- Hello, Shelly.
- [Shelly] You were dreaming
about me, weren't you?
- How'd you know I was asleep?
- [Shelly] Because you're a bum
and you're always sleeping.
So were you?
- Was I what?
- [Shelly] Dreaming about me.
- No, I think I was dead.
I was on this foreign planet.
Everything had this purple hue to it.
I was playing Frisbee
with this little girl,
who I think was supposed
to be my kid in the dream,
and she kind of reminded me of my mom.
- [Shelly] Wow, that's a good one.
It almost gets me to believe that mankind
does possess an eternal soul.
- Whether or not mankind
does possess an eternal soul
can't be answered in one lifetime.
Human life is finite.
We live, and we die.
- [Shelly] It's only through knowledge
we can attain life, though.
- Yeah.
But what is it for?
- [Shelly] I don't know.
Enough philosophical bullshit.
I haven't had breakfast yet.
Do you have any cheese?
- No.
I'm sure Drake does.
- [Shelly] You wanna give him a call?
See if he'll come pick us up,
we can arrange for food
and he can get us high?
- Okay.
I'm sure he'll oblige.
- {Shelly] Always does.
Loyal Drake.
So I'll see you soon?
- Yeah.
That is if I don't die
in the next few hours.
- [Shelly] Okay, whatever, Kyle, goodbye.
(truck rumbles)
(soft pop music)
- [Woman] Can I get you kids anything?
- No, Mom.
When's the party clown gonna get here?
- Now that is a good question.
He should be here any minute now.
Tell you what, let's do another game
of pin the tail on the donkey.
- I think that we're
all bored of that game.
- Yeah, can we just hit the pinata now?
- Honey, I thought you
wanted to save that for last.
- [Girl] It's my birthday.
- Okay, tell you what,
give the clown five more minutes,
and then, if he's not here, you kids
can whack the donkey.
- Okay, whatever.
(soft pop music)
- Tom,
I need you to call the clown guy.
The kids are getting restless over here.
- Why can't you just do it?
- Because you're the one who booked him,
and I've got kids to entertain over here.
- Fine.
(soft pop music)
(springy popping)
- [Mr. Patch] Hello.
- [Tom] Yeah, hey, this is Tom Flannigan.
I booked a clown for my
daughter's birthday party.
- [Mr. Patch] Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry,
I'm just now pulling
into the neighborhood.
I should be pulling up soon.
- [Tom] Okay.
The kids are getting
restless, so make it quick.
- Arr.
Fuck it.
(doorbell chimes)
- Well, well,
if it isn't Mr. Patch, pirate magician.
- Arr, it be the Magical Pirate Clown.
- Whatever, man, you're here now.
- Well, are you gonna let me in?
- Gate's unlocked, go around back.
(soft pop music)
I swear to God I'm gonna work it
I swear to God I better hurt me
I swear these haters been lurking
'Cause they know the
guy I've been searching
About these things,
it's in all these things
They doubt me seeing up in my dreams
Hey, man.
Just a heads up, kids are
looking a little bored,
so I think you got your
work cut ut for you today.
- Great.
- Hey, kids, got a surprise for ya.
(soft pop music)
We going there, don't play
We're about to have our day
'Cause she booted on my way
Look who I found.
Mr. Patches, magic pirate.
- [Girl] All right, it's about time, Dad.
- Why did you get a
clown for your birthday?
- I don't know.
- Clowns are weird.
- All right, I'm about to
perform my first trick.
I want you all to pay attention
to what I'm about to do.
Now where did it go,
you might be thinking.
- No one cares.
- But what you should be thinking is
has it
turned into?
Now, who's the special
birthday girl today?
- I am.
- Well then,
this is for you.
- [Girl] Thanks, I guess?
- All right,
now for my next magic trick.
- No, do something funny.
You're not very funny for a clown.
- So it's comedy you want.
- No, I want you to juggle stuff.
It's my birthday, and I
want you to juggle stuff.
- Juggling it is.
(vocalizing circus music)
It seems as though I dropped one.
- This guy sucks.
He isn't funny and he
can't even juggle right.
- Arr, matey.
Pull me finger.
- Are you kidding me?
You can't do that.
This is a children's birthday party.
- Honey, honey, honey,
I'm sure Patch Master
didn't mean any harm.
- It's Patch, you knucklehead,
the Magical Pirate Clown.
- Hey, don't get testy with me, asshole.
I'm the one paying for everything.
- Tom, your language!
You're being a worse example than he is.
- Now for my next trick.
- [Girl] No, we want the pinata!
- [Kids] Pinata, pinata, pinata, pinata!
- Okay!
- Pinata.
- So it's the pinata you
want then, you landlubbers.
Well then the pinata it shall be.
Arr, now who's first up to bat?
Why don't you let someone
else have a couple of swings?
Give me the bat.
You ever had your ass kicked by an adult?
Are you ready?
- Yeah.
- Now go on,
and give it a good whack!
- [Girl] Why won't it die?
- Arr, lassie,
why don't you let me kill it for ya?
(jagged rock music)
I'm never going to change
I've got nothing on my brain
And you won't think twice
When I take it to your
(clapping and cheering)
- [Kid] More candy.
More candy!
- More candy!
More candy!
More candy!
Did you hear me, Barry?
I said,
more candy!
You won't see me again
(pounding rock music)
You won't see me again
I got something to show you
- Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
(car revs)
Who the fuck ever heard
of a fucking clown?
(graceful piano music)
(pounding metal music)
- [Man With Mohawk] Hey, what's up, buddy?
- Drake.
(pounding rock music)
- So, uh, you decide
where we're gonna go eat?
- I don't know.
Let's just pick up Shelly
first and let her decide.
- Why does she get to decide?
- Because she's the picky eater, dude.
If we let her decide,
we don't have to listen to her bitch
about the food not being
perfect for an hour.
(pounding rock music)
- Fair enough.
Fair enough.
What do you say, after we're done eating,
we got get a little hair
off that dog that bit ya?
- Yeah, I'd be up for it.
- Nice, man.
You know what, give Shelly a call,
and see where that girl's at.
- Gotcha.
(rhythmic instrumental music)
- Shelly!
What's up?
- [Shelly] Why do I always have
to sit in the fucking back?
- [Kyle] Because your
bony ass fits better.
- [Drake] So true.
- [Shelly] All right, well,
where are we going to eat?
- We thought we'd let you decide.
- [Shelly] Oh, you're so sweet.
- [Kyle] We like to try.
- [Shelly] Drake, did you bring a cheese?
- Of course, I've already
got a bowl loaded and ready.
- [Shelly] All right,
well, let's break it up
and I'll think of a place we go.
- [Drake] Are you sure you
wanna do it in that order?
- Yeah, I'm sure.
- [Drake] Okay.
- And by the way, what the
fuck are we listening to?
Can we change it?
(radio chatters)
You know you never kill yourself
But I'm not the one
(bright rock music)
- So, any ideas yet,
where we're going to eat?
I seriously do not want
to be driving around
all day with you guys.
- You're not gonna drive around all day.
Let's just go to Joe's Diner.
I wanna get a skillet.
- A skillet?
- [Shelly] Yeah, you have
a problem with skillets?
- Nah, it just sounds funny.
- [Drake] Skillet!
- [Shelly] Oh, yeah, it
does sound kind of funny.
- You guys are high.
- Skillet.
I'm not high.
- I am.
- [Shelly] You are?
No you're not.
- [Kyle] I am most definitely high.
- [Drake] We're all high, shut up.
- [Kyle] Whoa, whoa, hey, look at this.
Are you seeing this?
(speaker muffled through window)
- [Mr. Patch] What, what
the fuck did you call me?
- [Kyle] Hey, hey, make
me a balloon animal!
- Guys, come on.
Guys, knock it off.
- [Mr. Patch] Fuck you, man!
- [Kyle] Dude, make a face.
Can you make me a balloon animal?
- [Drake] He's getting
so mad, knock it off.
- [Kyle] Oh God, he's real--
- I'll kick your fucking ass.
- Seriously, just stop.
- Fucking cocksuckers!
(blistering rock music)
Is that the fucking boy toy?
Boy toy.
You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
I know who the fuck you are!
(truck revs)
Fuck, man!
(blistering rock music)
Fucking boy toy piece of shit!
Fuck you, fuck you!
(growling rock music)
- [Waitress] Hi, I'm Julie,
can I get you started with a drink?
- Can we get a pot of
coffee and some water?
- [Julie] You, hun?
- Bupkis.
- [Julie] Anything extra for you, hun?
- Coffee and water will be fine.
Unless you got anything green.
- [Julie] So you guys know what you want?
- Yeah, could we have a minute?
- Let's make it two.
- What happened, I thought
you wanted that skillet.
- Fuck you, I do, I just
don't know which one yet.
- Look at them, man, they just
never know what they want.
- True story.
(squeezebox hums)
(swinging country music)
You caught my eye
- [Julie] Short stack.
- Woo!
- [Julie] Rocky Mountain
skillet for the lady.
- Thank you.
- [Julie] Steak and eggs.
- Perfect.
- Mine is so much better than yours.
World famous.
- So can I get you guys anything else?
- Nah.
- No, I think we're all set.
- Thank you.
- Perfect.
- Right.
- Hey, Shelly, you mind passing the salt?
- Sure.
- So, what was going on
with you two last night?
- What the fuck are you talking about?
- Seriously, come on, the
dancing over in the corner,
like nobody noticed?
- It's just dancing, bra.
- I've seen a lot of dancing,
and that was definitely not dancing.
- Yeah, just dancing.
- [Drake] Screw you guys.
- [Shelly] You're not jealous, are you?
- Me, jealous, nah.
I mean, I like you, but
I'm not in love with you.
- I mean jealous of me, not him.
I know you guys have that
two peas in a pod bullshit going on.
- Yeah, Drake's in love with me.
- Nah, I'm in love with
your drug connection,
but not your dick.
- How would you know,
you've never seen it.
- Why do you think that is?
Because there's absolutely nothing to see.
- Ah, so you have seen it.
(pounding rock music)
- [Drake] Hey, Kyle, so
how about the hair, man?
- [Kyle] Yeah, I'm still down.
- What are you guys talking about?
- We were just gonna go
grab a couple of beers.
You in or not?
- Yeah, you can't ditch me now.
- [Drake] Let's go to Bikini Lounge then.
- Dude, that place is a fucking dive.
- It's fun.
- For you maybe.
- [Drake] Come on, Shelly,
look, just a few beers,
it's super close, and
then we'll go to Kyle's.
Are you down?
- All right, fine.
(pounding rock music)
(singing in foreign language)
(jagged electronic music)
- [Kyle] You wanna put
a little wager down?
- No, not yet.
Let's play one out first.
And then we'll see.
- Okay.
I'm not talking about anything serious,
just a little gentleman's bet,
Like I win, you buy my next beer.
- [Drake] You mean when I
win, you buy my next beer.
- Yeah, something like that.
- Okay, fuck it, you're on.
- Rack for break?
- I racked, you break.
This motherfucker runs on
longhorn cheese, come on
(jagged electronic music)
- It's all part of my strategy.
- [Drake] Sure it was.
(bell rings)
- Hey.
- [Mr. Patch] Yeah?
- [Shop Owner] How can I help you?
- Yeah, do you have any tasers here?
- Sure thing.
Right over here.
- Hey, don't lean on the glass.
- Which one's the best?
- Well, that all depends on
what you're trying to do.
What is it you're trying to do?
- Self-defense, uh, home defense.
Self-defense, you know, in case.
- Look, do you want one that shoots?
- I want one I can jam
into someone's rib cage
and shock the living shit out of them.
- Now you're talking.
The Black Jack 21 Million
is the taser for you.
- How does it, how does it work?
- [Shop Owner] You wanna
give it a little test?
- On you?
- Why not?
- I couldn't do that, that's assault.
- I gave you permission.
Look, I can't have you leaving here
unless you're a satisfied customer.
Just zap me right here.
See that red button?
Push it.
- Oh!
- There you go.
Now, come in here close.
That's right.
(buzzing snaps)
That's better than a cup of coffee.
- I'll take it.
- Good.
Is there anything else I can get you?
- You have baseball bats here?
- I like where your head's at.
You know what, I got a
Louisville Slugger in the back
with your name on it.
- Slugger?
- It's old school.
Tell you what, you get
the bat and the taser,
I'll throw in a little bonus item,
something sharp.
- Sharp.
Aw, shit.
I'm sorry, I'll move
it right now, I swear.
- Don't hurt me.
- No, they're not for you.
- Please.
- They're for someone else.
- Mr. Clown, leave me alone!
(bluesy instrumental music)
- Hey, hey, Shelly.
- Yeah?
- You wouldn't happen to
have any chit chat, would ya?
- Chit chat?
- [Drake] You know.
- You mean blow?
- [Drake] Yeah.
- Why didn't you just say
that instead of making up
pet names for drugs that no one else uses?
- Okay, Shelly, do you have any blow?
- [Kyle] So you like my hat, huh?
- I love your hat, it's adorable.
- [Kyle] Maybe you can borrow it.
- Yes, but not much.
- Well, how much is not much?
- Like not even a gram, barely enough.
- Hmm.
Okay, hold on.
Hey, Kyle,
I know you never carry,
but you wouldn't happen to have any blow
back at your place, would ya?
- As a matter of fact, I do.
- How much?
- Drake, shut up.
- [Drake] How much?
- Enough to be merry.
- Amazing.
Let's hit up the liquor store,
and back to Kyle's place.
- All right, Cochise, after you.
(rumbling rock music)
Sink or swim
It's not about who you know
You'll let them fuck
you, then you'll know
Sink or swim
Sink or swim
(tires crunch)
- Drake?
- [Drake] Shelly!
- Do you want a beer?
- [Drake] Of course, batter up.
- Nice catch.
- Good arm.
- [Shelly] Kyle?
- Man.
- I'm good, thanks.
Dude, could you be any messier?
- Your floor is thirsty.
So, where is
the blow?
- [Kyle] All right.
Let me go grab my stash.
- Get it, cowboy.
- Your stash?
I'm gonna go check on
what this stash situation is all about.
- Okay, you do that.
- Okay.
- [Kyle] I wasn't scared.
- You should be.
- [Kyle] Why is that?
- Because I'm going to suck your blood.
- [Kyle] Really?
- I'm gonna start stealing shit.
The fucking dancing.
The fucking dancing!
I fucking called it.
I called it.
Can't make money off this shit.
Well, you could at
least make it a quickie!
- I think we should go back out there.
- Good things come to those who wait.
Shall we?
(fleshy thunk)
- Fucking boy toy, you piece of shit.
- [Shelly] Where'd you
get all this anyway?
- I told you, it's part of my stash.
- Come on, Kyle.
- [Kyle] I borrowed some from Conway.
- Kutt Conway?
Are you crazy?
- It's just an extra bag,
he's not gonna notice.
- He has cameras everywhere.
- [Kyle] So?
- He's gonna come knocking for you.
You fucking know it.
- So let him knock.
That's probably him right now.
- Ha ha, it's just Drake.
- Yeah.
Bitch probably just locked himself out.
Hold your fucking horses.
Where you going?
- I have to tinkle.
- [Kyle] Seriously?
- Yeah.
You'll be okay, go check on him
before he gets eaten by a javelina.
We'll pick up where we left off, promise.
- [Kyle] I'm gonna hold you to that.
- Okay, tiger.
- Drake, I'm going to fucking kill you.
- What the fuck are you
guys doing out there?
Um, not funny, guys.
- Ah, shit!
- [Man In Plaid] Got a few.
- Want me to trash him?
- [Man In Tracksuit] We'll
dispose of them all at once.
- Right on.
- [Man In Tracksuit] Gentle,
gentle, gentle, she's a lady.
- You want this again, asshole?
- Fuck you guys!
- You will sit there and behave
or I will turn this thing so goddamn ugly
that you will beg me to kill you.
- Um,
who are you guys,
and what do you want with me?
- We'll get to that.
But, first, we have to play a quick game.
- Is it the drugs, man?
I'll go get them, just let us go.
- You're gonna have to
play for the pretty girl
because, well, she can't do it right now.
- I promise I won't say a word.
I swear.
- Where's Drake?
- Hey, keep your mind focused
on the game, young man.
You don't need any distractions.
- You fucking killed him.
You killed him.
You're not gonna let us go.
Just fucking do it.
Get it over with!
- Actually, Kyle, I did not kill him.
It was your creepy clown
friend here who did it.
- What the fuck, man?
- You know, I really
don't know what I'm going
to be doing next,
but I can tell you one thing,
if you don't play along,
the rest of your lives are
going to do nothing but hurt
real bad.
Hit or stay?
- Fuck you.
- Hit or stay, last chance.
- [Mr. Patch] Hit.
- 20, not bad, not bad at all.
Hit or stay?
- Question.
- Sure.
- What the fuck are we playing for?
- To see who gets the trip.
- Trip, what trip?
- You see, the winners get to take
the Magic Mystery Shot.
- What's in it?
- (chuckles) I can't tell you
because it's a Magic
Mystery Shot. (laughs)
Hit or stay?
- Hit me.
- You gotta be kidding me, 21.
- Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
- [Man In Tracksuit] Beats me.
- Chicken dinner, more like chicken shit!
You stacked the deck.
- It's your word against mine, Kyle.
And I say you're a winner.
In fact, you're both winners.
- [Kyle] No, no, no, no,
don't, don't touch her!
Just give them both to me.
Better yet, give them
both to the fucking clown.
- I'm afraid I can't do that, Kyle.
Besides, if anybody around here
needs a Magic Mystery
Shot, it's Sleeping Beauty.
Kind of boring, right?
We're gonna be here for a while.
Now you.
- Fucking do it.
You fucker!
You gave us speed?
- Just a little bit.
I don't want you falling asleep.
Might as well give him one, too, right?
Don't want him to feel left out.
- No, no, no, no!
I won't say a word, I promise.
- Shelly, Shelly, talk to me.
- Don't, don't, don't.
- What the fuck is going on?
What's wrong with my arm?
- Shelly, Shelly, we're
in some shit, girl.
This guy.
- Okay, that's enough chit
chat out of the two of you.
We've got more games to play.
- {Shelly] What the fuck is that?
- Good morning, darling.
- Conway.
Why is there a clown here?
- I don't fucking know.
He killed Drake.
- Yeah, you know, I was actually
wondering the same thing.
Why are you here?
- You guys want a hint?
- No.
- Hint away.
- Look, look at the
clown behind the wheel.
He looks angry, let's piss him off more.
Hey, Mr. Clown, you know
how to make animal balloons?
- No, no, no, you're not
doing this because of that.
No, are you fucking serious?
- Dead fucking serious!
- We were fucking stoned, man.
We thought it was funny
seeing a clown driving a car!
- Ha, ha, ha, ha ha!
- I don't mean to be rude,
but I do have to interrupt
this little getting to know you chit chat.
- Okay.
- Now, listen,
we're going to play a really
high stakes game of poker.
And don't worry, Kyle, this time
I won't stack the deck in my favor.
- [Kyle] Yeah, right.
- What's he talking about, Kyle?
- You were passed out.
We played a round of blackjack.
And he stacked the deck,
and that's why we're all
high as kites right now.
- What are you gonna do now?
Set us on fire?
- No, nothing like that.
- Oh, good.
- Did you know that I used to be a dealer?
Well, I mean, right, I am a dealer, right?
But I used to be a dealer
dealer in the city of sin.
- Yeah, that was until he
caught fucking stealing.
- No, no, Kyle, you're the thief.
I just needed a change of scenery.
This is a true,
straight-up game of chance.
But this time, it's not the
winners, it's the losers.
- What do losers get?
- The losers?
The losers get to take
the Speedball Challenge.
- That doesn't sound like fun.
I don't want that prize.
- And the winners, what
do the winners get?
- [Conway] Very simple, the
winner gets to sit out a round.
- Do they have to sit?
Can they run around the RV with an escort?
- Yeah, yeah, that sounds great.
- Big fucking prize, man.
- All right, I'll tell you what,
I'll sweeten the pot.
- Oh, shit.
- The winner gets to go home alive.
Now, considering the three
of you have just been shot up
with a very, very intense dose of speed,
I just have to ask the question,
I mean, how much more do you think
your little hearts can take, you know?
I don't know.
- Not much.
- So no matter what,
even if you play fair,
one of us is getting the speedball?
- Yeah.
Yes, I mean, the math would dictate that.
- You're fucking sick.
- Well, that remains to be seen.
Let's play some poker, what do you say?
- Woo!
- Fucking stupid.
What are we betting with?
- Brick, say what It over here
has in that bag of tricks, will you?
- Hey, get your hands off that.
- [Conway] Balloons.
You make balloon animals?
- Yep.
Pretty good.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, little fives.
- Shelly, what would you
like him to make for you?
- A javelina.
- A javelina, that's an
interesting choice there, Shelly.
Why'd you pick javelina?
- It resembles you, your face,
'cause it's like a fucking wild pig.
- Shh!
- Okay.
We'll see what he can do.
- I'm gonna need both hands, yep.
- Brick.
- No, wait, no. (whimpers)
(balloon snaps)
- We'll use the rest of those balloons
as poker chips, though.
- Arf, arf, arf.
- That's beautiful.
- You think so?
- Your mother must be very proud.
- Actually, she can't stand me.
- All right, everybody
gets two balloons each.
The orange are worth five,
the blue are worth 10,
the purple are worth 20.
Shelly, would you cut the deck, please?
- Okay,
cut them there, cut them thin,
should've went, cut them
deep, sleep in the street,
cut them thin, should've
went, cut them deep,
sleep in the street.
- Or buried at the bottom
of a six foot grave
covered in dirt. (chuckles)
Right, that's the other. (laughs)
- Real promising, man.
- [Conway] Thank you.
- It didn't even rhyme.
- [Conway] Everybody ante up five.
(ticking rock music)
Since we're all playing this hand,
let's just go right to the
flock, what do you say?
- Yeah, yeah.
(ticking rock music)
- That is to you, my lady.
- I'm in for 10.
- [Kyle] I'll call.
- I call, as well.
- Okay, okay, okay, here we go.
Now, here comes the turn.
(ticking rock music)
- I'm in for 30.
(Conway chuckles)
- What does it even matter?
You stacked the deck anyways.
- Fuck you!
Fuck you!
You fucking deadbeat,
I already said that this
is coming out clean.
Don't fucking insult me again.
- It's all right, Kyle,
I'm watching real close.
He's playing, he's playing
clean, he's playing fair.
- Guess I'll call.
(fluttering instrumental music)
- Fuck you.
I'm all in.
(fluttering instrumental music)
- Okay, Chuckles, me too.
- I guess that makes all three.
- Mm,
you feel that?
You guys feel that?
Isn't the anticipation just,
just killing you?
- Cut it with a knife.
- Can't wait.
- Here comes the last card.
Here's the river.
- Yes, winner, winner, chicken dinner!
(ticking instrumental music)
- All right, let's see who the losers are.
- Boom.
- Seven high straight.
Can anybody beat that?
- I sure can.
- Son of a bitch.
- Fucking pair.
- Wow, lover boy, you are the winner,
which means, of course, that the princess
and the jester
will need to take the Speedball Challenge.
- No, no, no, no, no, I
want to trade my pass.
I want to take the challenge.
- No, it just doesn't work that way.
Remember, I said the
losers take the challenge.
- This isn't a game.
You're fucking with our lives, man!
- No, Kyle, this is a game,
and it's my game.
And I make the rules,
which means that
she's going to get the high of her life
off of what you stole from me.
- Conway, please, you
know that we're sorry.
I'm sorry.
Whatever we did to piss you off,
we'll make it better.
- She's sorry, she's sorry,
she's sorry.
- Anything that you want.
- This is what I want.
I want us all to party.
- [Shelly] Conway, please, stop.
- No, no!
No, leave her alone!
- [Shelly] Get off of me!
Fuck you!
Fuck you.
- Bozo, too.
- Don't do it.
- I don't know what to tell you, pal.
You were just at the wrong
place at the wrong time.
(pinball machine music)
- It worked, it worked.
- No.
(pounding metal music)
(pounding metal music)
Cause it's free, cause it's free
We're punk rock
Cause it's free, cause it's free
We're punk rock
Cause it's free, cause it's free
We're punk rock
Cause it's free, cause it's free
- Shelly!
- [Mr. Patch] Conway!
- Hey, man, what's up?
Time out!
Whoa, whoa.
Yo, I need a minute, okay?
Old guy time out, hang on.
Man, you shouldn't have been here, I know.
I feel bad now.
I feel really bad, it's okay.
No, no, no, we can work
together, it's fine!
(fleshy thunks)
(thudding and squishing)
- Shelly, can you hear me?
I need you to talk to me.
Shelly, can you hear me?
- [Shelly] I'm cold.
I can't feel my lips.
- We're gonna get you outta here, okay?
Just hold on.
- Kyle,
will you dance with me?
- [Kyle] Okay.
Are we going somewhere
Or are we just having fun
Is your love about to leave
Have we just begun
Do you dream about me
Knowing that I dream of you
Tell me
- I guess I never realized
how much I love being close to you.
Do you feel it, too
- I really like being next to you, too.
Am I going crazy
- So now what, do we say goodbye?
Please don't let me stay here
Slowly lose my mind
Tell me if you love me
And if you want to be true
- Shelly.
Don't fade out on me.
I need you here with me.
If I'm crazy, if you feel it, too
- Don't forget to dream about me.
- Shelly, Shelly, Shelly.
Shelly, stay awake, wake up!
Wake up.
She's gone.
All my friends are gone!
And they'd still be alive
if it wasn't for you.
(engines rev)
(engine revs)
Fuck you, I'm gonna kill you!
- Showtime.
Where are you going?
Oh no, you're not getting away that easy.
(tense instrumental music)
- [Kyle] Shit.
- Are you okay?
Okay, I'll take off your helmet.
Okay, I'll take it off.
What are you doing here?
Did you come here?
they'll never understand.
They won't understand me.
(blooping ambient music)
- Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
I'm not alone.
I'm not alone!
(truck revs)
- [Driver] Hey, man, you need a ride?
(tires screech)
(driver laughs)
What a clown.
(bright rock music)