The Diary of a Chambermaid (2026) Movie Script
THE DIARY OF A CHAMBERMAID
variation on the eponymous novel
by Octave Mirbeau
23 September
Give me, please.
Please!
I've nothing! Sorry.
Fuck your mouth!
Janine!
How was your day?
- Great.
I want an ice cream.
-We can't today.
Why not?
We just can't.
I'll make you some food at home.
- Can we play football?
-Not now.
I wanted to play with the older kids.
They pushed me.
I fell even.
That's life.
We're friends again now.
Tomorrow's the birthday
of a girl at school...
Janine!
Yes?
Come and tell me a story!
You fucking snotty brat.
Aren't you on your tablet?
No, it timed out and switched off.
I can't right now. I'm cooking!
Come on. You can do that later.
Fuck you, motherfucker!
25 September
Hello!
All good?
How are you, Gian in a?
Just fine.
Lou en was very good today.
I was cooking. I made Thai soup.
Thai soup?
Wonderful!
- I just...
- Tom kha gai, is it?
You're a real gem, you know.
How did we get by without you?
I just followed the recipe.
- Very good.
- Good?
Yes.
- Bravo!
- Thank you.
You added something extra?
Not bad.
No, I followed the recipe
in your book.
No, no, there's a...
There's a dash of Romania, isn't there?
It's wonderful.
- You need to change the tablecloth.
- Yes.
Something else...
I tried to dust in the...
What's it called?
With the dolls in it.
With the dolls in it?
And trinkets.
- In there.
No, hands off my Wunder kabinett.
It's full of fragile and very rare items.
Hands off the trinkets. Watch out!
Like Diderot's jewels, hands off!
It's bizarre.
Yes, bizarre.
So I'm writing a book about it.
Very interesting.
I'm also writing an essay
on Athanasius Kircher.
Don't know him.
A jesuit.
A 17th-century German jesuit.
He was a man of adventure.
He wrote a heap of books.
On subjects ranging from mathematics
to so many other things.
Music, acoustics, astronomy...
Medicine and China...
He also happened to be
one of the first Egyptologists.
He was a...
For the period,
he possessed unbelievable knowledge.
-Kind of a walking internet, see?
- Okay.
A lot of what he said
turned out to be wrong.
Or even totally fanciful but...
Hands off the trinkets! Watch out!
He even dreamed up an orchestra of cats.
Really?
Really.
You pulled their tails
to make music, to compose.
And a machine for...
How to clean a volcano.
I miss you too.
But I spoke with the Donn adieus.
They're letting me come home
for Christmas and New Year's Eve.
Come on, don't cry.
You'll make mummy sad.
Sweetheart,
it's in just over two months.
Look, mummy.
I made my bed.
And I have a new doll.
She's called Aura ,
named after Aurelia.
Because Aurelia gave her to me.
Look how pretty she is!
But, mummy...
I miss you.
I want you to come home to Romania.
Maria!
Stop now.
You want mummy
to see you crying again?
Hang up already.
I don't want to hang up!
I want to keep filming!
No more filming now.
Come on...
You've been yelling so much
my head hurts.
Aurelia...
Time to go home.
I want to stay some more!
- Go home to your mother.
- I want to stay!
My head's killing me. Put your shoes on!
-Be good or you'll catch it!
- I want to stay.
You'll come back tomorrow.
29 September
Look, love, this is the city.
And here...
Look at this big ass ship.
On the river.
See?
It's a floating hotel!
Home at last!
Look at all this shit.
3 October
C le stine, sir.
Oh, hell!
Pretty name but too long, child.
Far too long.
I'll call you Marie, if you don't mind.
It's very dainty too. And short.
And I've always
called my chambermaids Marie.
You have no objection
to my calling you Marie, naturally?
Yes, sir.
Pretty girl, sweet nature...
Do you have others?
Other names, sir?
No, child, other booties?
Yes, sir, I have others.
Patent leather?
Yes, sir.
Very good! Yellow leather?
No, none, sir.
You must have some.
I'll give you a pair.
Fine, fine, not a word!
Sir!
Understand, child...
I have my foibles.
At my age,
it's permitted, is it not?
I alone shall polish your little booties.
Your dear little booties.
Listen carefully.
Each night before bed,
you shall bring your booties to my room,
you shall place them by the bed
and, each evening,
when opening my windows,
you shall retrieve them.
And if you are a very good girl...
I'll shower you with gifts.
Thank you!
Thank you.
Marie!
Your little booties!
Give them to me immediately.
I want them immediately.
Let's run the lighting cue.
And I lie down?
Yes, lie down.
Now I...
Next morning,
going in to open the window,
I nearly fainted in fright.
Sir was dead!
Flat on his back,
in the middle of the bed.
His body almost completely naked.
Rigor mortis already setting in.
He might have been asleep,
were his face not...
purple!
The sinister purple of aubergines.
The sight was terrifying.
Sir had his teeth clamped
on one of my booties.
Clamped so hard in his teeth
that after futile and horrible efforts
I had to cut the leather with a razor
to tear it out.
I am no saint.
I know men and I have learned,
through experience,
of what follies and filth
they are capable.
But a man like sir?
8 October
Look, love,
they call this the Water Mirror.
All the buildings are reflected in it.
There are a lot of beautiful buildings.
And a lot of poverty.
Especially with migrants
coming from all over the world.
Still, it's lovely here.
Winter's not far off.
You'll get heaps of presents.
And mummy promises you,
if we save up enough money,
you can come here to see the Mirror
and all these beautiful things.
Be ddy-byes now?
-Ma'am?
- Yes?
I brought your coffee.
V 60, your favourite.
All right.
Thanks very much. I appreciate it.
You'll have a cup with me?
No, thanks.
Just take his temperature.
Even if I insist?
Are you happy here?
Yes, and I'm very grateful to you.
Thank you for everything.
No problem.
What happened
where you were before?
How can I put it?
They treated me very badly.
A family from Paris.
They kept calling me
a dirty gypsy, monkey, and stuff.
They scammed me financially.
The lady even beat me.
It's difficult to believe.
Yes.
Several times.
Worst of all, they took my papers
so I couldn't leave.
How come?
Yes, I wanted
to see my daughter in Romania.
So they took my passport and ID card.
Why?
That's absurd.
They were sick in the head.
They threatened me, saying,
if I went to the police,
I'd be in trouble
because I work unofficially,
so I'd be deported.
Good Lord!
What awful people!
I went to the police in the end
and ran away but...
It was horrible.
9 October
Look, mummy,
Grandma's going to slaughter the chicken.
She's afraid to slaughter one.
She's such a chicken!
Hello.
Look, mummy, it's Cost ic B tu!
World's greatest chick e n-s layer,
ladies and gentlemen!
This'll make a good soup.
Good sauce too.
My goodness.
There, done.
When I was your age, in winter,
I'd go tobogganing on a frozen river.
There were so many children
with their toboggans on the ice.
From time to time,
the ice broke up
and it was very dangerous.
Some children even died.
They died? Really?
Yes.
I fell off the toboggan once
and it was really difficult
to get out of the water.
Afterwards, I ran home in the snow,
and I changed my clothes.
But I still caught cold.
Like you.
My father, may God forgive him,
beat me really hard.
How come?
What the heck
was I doing on the ice?
But those days are past.
It doesn't snow like that anymore and...
all the kids have gone.
14 October
I don't think I'll ever get used to it.
When Teacher yells at me,
I get scared and start crying.
Teachers are like that there.
Always yelling at the kids.
They even used to hit us.
Teacher hit me too.
They don't do that in France.
Then why don't you take me with you?
I told you, love, I can't just yet.
I need to pay off the bank,
finish renovations on the house.
Remember Daddy will be away a long time.
But I miss you!
When I come at Christmas,
we'll spend lots of time together.
Didn't I promise?
Okay.
Listen...
I'm a giant toad,
coming to eat you up!
I'm a giant toad
coming to eat you up too!
Here, I'll eat you again!
17 October
Don't cry, ma'am.
We shall save him.
I swear we shall save him.
All he asked of me
was to read him poetry.
The poets speak to the souls
of the simple, the sad and the sick.
In that, they are eternal.
Do you know
that when one has sensitivity,
one is always partly poet?
You too, little C le stine,
often you have told me things
as beautiful as verse!
Monsieur Georges!
You are mocking me!
No!
You have no idea
you said such beautiful things.
Your chores can wait, C le stine.
Come close to me!
I sit here, sick.
Completely sick!
Monsieur Georges!
You do not be have!
It's not nice.
What if your mother were to come,
Monsieur Georges,
and see you in this state?
You would make her cry once more,
Monsieur Georges!
Call me simply Georges.
-Wicked girl!
- That I could not do. Never!
No, don't go!
Stay with me!
You have no idea
how good it makes me feel!
How it warms me up!
You see? I am no longer
jittery and agitated!
I am no longer sick!
I am so happy!
Monsieur Georges!
I'm not feeling well. Leave me alone!
Stay!
Leave me alone!
You see now, Monsieur Georges.
You make yourself sick with pleasure.
Be have yourself, will you?
And if you were a good boy...
do you know what you would do?
You would go to bed this moment.
This moment!
I feel within me,
in my soul and in my body,
newborn vigors,
a whole unknown life. Simmering!
In any case, what can you do?
Why would you love me?
Truly...
you are right not to love me.
You fear you shall poison your mouth
with the poisons in mine.
And earn my illness,
the illness
of which I am surely dying,
through a kiss of mine!
Do not say that, Monsieur Georges.
It is horrible and wicked,
everything you say.
What a stench!
My God!
Here, wicked man,
behold how scared I am!
Eat my cheese!
It was above all
an act of fervent piety.
Selfless and very pure.
As if to say,
"No, I do not believe that you are sick."
And for proof,
I do not hesitate
to mingle my breath with yours.
Drink that breath
and steep my bosom in it!
Monsieur Georges!
I did you wrong!
I am so happy.
Do not leave me all night long!
Alone, you see, I do believe
that I could not bear the violence,
however sweet,
of my happiness.
It is nothing.
Do not be sorry
since I am so happy.
And I am not sick.
You'll see
how well I sleep next to you.
I want to sleep
as if I were your little child.
Between your breasts.
My head between your breasts.
What if your mother were to ring
for me tonight, Monsieur Georges?
No!
She will not ring!
My kiss had the sinister touch
of criminal madness.
Knowing that I was killing Georges,
I strove to kill myself too,
through the same happiness and sickness.
I inhaled,
I drank death,
all the death from his mouth.
And while he was coughing,
wracked in my arms
by a violent fit,
I saw, frothing from his lips,
a large, vile gob of spit
streaked with blood.
I swallowed the spit
with murderous rapacity.
Once more your mouth!
Once more your eyes!
Once more your joy!
Not tonight.
Please, be have yourself tonight.
You always say the same thing.
"Not tonight!"
Do I have time to wait?
Monsieur Georges!
So you want me to kill you?
So you want me to have
a lifetime's remorse for killing you?
Be quiet!
You have no idea
how good it makes me feel!
Monsieur Georges!
But...
I'm not an actress.
That's why I chose you,
to make it more authentic.
We don't want actors.
We want something more amateur, more...
com media dell'arte, grand guignol.
I mean,
something joyful and accessible.
Amateur.
Like Ubu Roi.
That's why we want an immigrant maid
and why Khalil plays all the male parts.
Yes, but...
I'm a bit embarrassed.
Really? You know...
Nobody's forcing you.
Only do what's right for you,
if it seems like a good idea to you.
Think it over.
Basically, we wanted
to do something provocative, you see.
That's why,
if you could do the scene nude,
it'd be just perfect.
Perhaps only in my underwear.
Or just topless.
What do you think?
If I can give my opinion,
I think it's one or the other.
Doing things by half
makes no sense.
We'll have an intimacy coordinator so...
We have no money for that.
I understand,
but we need one automatically.
We need a coordinator.
-I'll think it over.
Thanks, Gian in a.
One more question...
In Bu uel's film
based on Diary of a Chambermaid,
there's a line that is not in the novel.
Joseph says, reading the paper,
goodness knows how many Jews
were killed in Romania.
Do you know what it means?
No.
No idea.
You know nothing
about anti-Semitism in Romania?
18 October
20 October
Goal!
Hagi!
Hagi! Hagi!
Janine, who's Romania's best goalie?
I don't know.
Look, sweetie.
That's Lou en.
The boy I look after.
He's cute but you're the cutest.
When you come on holiday,
you'll be friends!
Janine, can you film me
in slow-motion?
Ready?
22 October
Why are you just letting her cry?
What can I do?
It's not my fault, is it?
Besides, I got the roof fixed.
All the money went on that.
You haven't been sending any.
I will.
You think money grows on trees here?
First let me finish
paying the fucking bank.
And don't let poor Maria
bang her head against walls like that.
She was beaten at school!
I don't want them touching her.
What can I do?
They do that here.
A little slap here and there.
Comrade Teacher used to slap you.
I got slapped too.
Yeah, the fucker.
Put her on.
Maria!
- Want to talk to your mother?
No!
She doesn't want to.
Tell her I want to talk to her right now!
Come on, Maria.
Please, do it for grandma.
Come talk to your mum.
I don't want to talk to you!
Why not?
You take care of other children
instead of me!
Seriously now?
It's my job, sweetie!
I don't want you looking after that boy!
I want you to come home!
I'll be there in the flash of an eye.
I don't want you
to be with that stupid, ugly boy!
All right, my love.
Here's the deal,
tomorrow I tell them I'm done.
I'm not looking after him anymore.
Okay?
And you're coming home?
To hell with their ugly brat!
I'm done with him!
But you're coming home?
I can't. I've explained before.
But I'm done with him.
Laundry, cleaning, cooking, fine.
But no more childcare!
To hell with that idiot!
You promise?
23 October
That's Gian in a.
-Gian in a? Thank you.
We're delighted to have Gian in a.
How would we get by
without her today?
Put it there.
She tells Lou en
the most extraordinary stories.
I can tell you,
her imagination is insane.
- You come from Romania?
Yes, sir.
Bucharest?
No, I've never been to Bucharest.
I come from a village in Moldavia.
You mean Moldova?
No, Moldavia in Romania.
-It's not the same thing?
-Not quite.
You knew?
Naturally.
Janine, sit down with us.
Eat with us and talk with us.
- No, thank you.
- Come on!
-Just a little.
- I'm very busy in the kitchen.
Sorry.
I heard you're in our college play,
a Mirbeau adaptation.
That's true.
Madam suggested it. I'm no actress.
Some of our literature students
put on a play every year.
And usually the show is pretty well done.
They cast only non-professionals.
Yes, amateurs.
Amateurs, that's right.
As well as migrants,
and seeing as...
Gian in a loves acting out the stories
she tells Lou en,
it seemed a good idea.
Great!
- They do an extraordinary job.
-How interesting!
- Yes, it's...
What kind of stories do you tell Lou en?
Romanian stories and fairy tales,
picked up from my grandfather.
He was the village storyteller
for all the kids.
- You're so lucky!
Yes.
And how do you feel here in France?
Good.
Really good.
I'm very lucky here.
I miss my daughter, though.
Her daughter's in Romania.
She's flying home soon.
- For the holidays.
- Yes.
That's great.
Her father...
After we got divorced,
he stayed in Spain
and broke off contact with her.
Yes, apparently, he's not a nice man.
A bastard!
He's a bastard.
Let's call things by their name.
- Yes, it was a big mistake.
- A bastard.
They exist.
Gian in a, can you come here?
Me?
Come on.
We need a two-tier Europe.
West, with real potential
for rapid development.
And East, lagging behind.
Gian in a, actually what Jacques is saying
is that Ukraine should give in
to Russian demands,
NATO should abandon
the Baltic states and Eastern Europe.
Otherwise,
there'll never be real peace, right?
Gian in a, as someone from the East,
as a Romanian, what do you say?
I don't know.
I mean...
I don't know.
Obviously! Only the Yanks
and other nut jobs keep the war going.
I know that the Russians are bad,
so my grandparents always said.
-She's right. They're brutes!
- For sure.
I know nothing about politics.
It's not about politics,
it's about principles!
I mean,
just imagine!
Half of Europe
abandons the other half?
It's intolerable!
Either we stand together
to help Ukraine or...
No, honestly,
these leftists are all Putinists!
- Simple as that.
- They're anti-Putin and anti-Ukraine.
The real bad actor is America!
That's not what you said earlier.
Personally, I adore Zelenskyy.
And he's super sexy.
Fuck him then, if you want.
The guy's trash!
My wife's family and I loathe him.
I piss on the smart ass shit!
Marching us to nuclear war
' cause he's a moron!
Calm down.
I'm very calm.
Champagne socialism is over.
Look...
Over!
Somehow I wound up on a Facebook group
that posts daily...
war videos.
Oh, fuck! Oh, fu...
war videos.
Oh, fuck! Oh, fu...
It's scary,
more and more like a video game.
Who's filming?
Them.
Their helmet cams film it all.
Why don't they just surrender?
You go further.
Why don't they just surrender?
Why don't they just surrender?
Like us in 1940.
Why not surrender?
They're all so young.
Poor guys.
They could surrender, though, right?
It's terrifying, isn't it?
- A country can surrender to save all...
- That's not the point.
Nice one, nice one!
Nice one, nice one!
Well, Gian in a...
Well, Gian in a...
Imagine you're a soldier, you see?
Surrender, you fucking cunts!
Imagine you're a soldier, you see?
Surrender, you fucking cunts!
Surrender, you fucking cunts!
Can we try a thought exercise?
Can we try a thought exercise?
You can live, motherfuckers!
Can we try a thought exercise?
Can we try a thought exercise?
Close your eyes
and bring to mind the footage.
Now, can you tell us who you're for?
That's horrible.
When you're ready.
For the Ukrainians shooting
or the Russians falling?
Stop it.
I know that the Russians
tried to steal our country.
Yes! The Russians
want to steal your country.
That's the truth.
Whatever else happens,
there comes a time to act.
I never disputed that.
- You don't dispute it?
- No, I don't.
Can you see
how disrespectful you are?
How disrespectful you are!
In front of folks from the East.
You realise
what you've done tonight in my home?
Look at me when I'm talking to you!
This is going too far.
25 October
Who's a clever, pretty chicken!
Of course,
you're one of our best customers.
Yes.
I'm delighted
to be able to supply your wines.
GRANDE
But I'm sorry, we're completely...
CRAN DE
It's a tragedy.
It's a tragedy.
GRANDE
It's a tragedy.
It's a tragedy.
You're full of...
There, you're full of...
You've got it on your nose.
You're always having fun, aren't you?
Yes, a lot.
Who was that behind you?
That's Janine, my nanny.
Hello!
Hello, Janine. I like your scarf.
Thanks a lot.
Right, of course...
Lou en's always talking about you.
Really?
Sure. He said you're very nice.
I've been to Romania.
Although it was a long time ago.
Around 1985.
-See you later.
- Bye.
I met lots of Romanians.
All of them,
they all wanted me
to bring them to France.
All those I met.
The poverty over there
was just terrible.
Yes, I know.
I mean, I guess so.
I wasn't born then.
People must have said.
What's it like now?
I don't know.
For some people, better.
For others...
30 October
Mum, we're going to school
in the next village.
Ours closed down.
It's cold outside,
but we're having lots of fun.
That idiot's honking!
GR 60 NNN
You blockhead!
You blockhead!
GR 60 NNN
GR 60 NNN
GR 60 NNN
GR 60 NNN
GR 60 NNN
GR 60 NM
There are no insects. no birds,
no worms that I have not eaten.
I have eaten polecats and snakes.
Rats and crickets. Caterpillars!
When an animal is found,
alive or dead,
an animal that no one can identify,
the call goes out,
"Take it to Captain Mauger!"
It is brought to me and I eat it.
I eat everything.
In the depths of winter,
unknown birds fly over,
from America or further afield.
They are brought to me and I eat them.
I eat everything.
Bravo!
Kleber!
Kleber is my ferret. Phenomenal!
Come here, Kleber.
Have you ever seen such a tame ferret?
He follows me in the garden
like a puppy.
I call him and he is there.
He eats with us, sleeps with us...
Mark my words,
I love him as much as any human.
I'd refuse 1, 000 francs for him.
I wager, captain sir,
that you will not eat your ferret.
Eat Kleber?
Dare say that again.
I wager
that you will not eat your ferret.
I will not eat my ferret?
What are you saying?
You're saying I will not eat him?
Yes.
Well then, you'll see.
I eat everything.
Nowadays, with all the vegetarians,
animal rights and so on,
that scene should go.
What?
- It's a great scene.
I don't know, Mirbeau loved to provoke.
I'd hate to smooth the edges
that make him so important.
We're not smoothing any edges,
but provocation...
Go pray in church.
Throwing in racist...
God always answers our prayers.
But most often the answer is no.
Get lost!
Like I said,
provocation can be futile at times.
Throwing in classism, racism,
or plain vulgarity,
it's just nothing.
What are you talking about?
It's not racist!
Mirbeau is against racism, right?
No, hold on,
we can't slaughter animals like that.
It's...
It's...
We need to respect animal rights, guys.
It's super important.
Sorry, but
what does "animal rights" mean?
I worked in an abattoir in Spain
and there were no rights of any kind.
They exploited us too.
Gian in a, you can't compare.
It's one thing to kill animals
in a civilised way for food.
But killing animals for fun
or to avoid looking after some kittens...
You're right,
but I remember, about ten years ago,
before I left the country,
there was a funny story online
about a girl
from a country somewhere...
- Yes, maybe...
- It's raining.
But let me just say...
Then we can go.
Before I left home,
there was a funny story online
about a girl somewhere
who threw kittens in a river.
Everybody accused her...
She was even taken to court.
- Exactly.
- But in the countryside...
at home, it's what you did
with kittens and puppies.
My grandmother carried them
in her apron to the river
and threw them in...
That's barbaric. It's horrible!
No, come on, barbaric?
What else could we do?
We'd have been overrun
by dogs, cats and rats!
Is there nowhere to take them?
A shelter or anything?
A shelter? No, there isn't.
Anyway, in the shelters,
they killed them too.
31 October
Erd beere
Toffee
Look, love, Halloween stuff.
Toffee
e Toffee Mir till o
Lot tee
Zitron e
Erd beere of fee
Look, love, Halloween stuff.
a gola
E Toffee
ee
Erd beere f fee
Look, love, Halloween stuff.
rago la
Toffee Toffee
Look, love, Halloween stuff.
Cherry
Look, love, Halloween stuff.
Apfel
Toffee
Toffee
Suck on that, you little shit! Cherry
Suck on that, you little shit!
Cherry
Toffee
Suck on that, you little shit!
Toffee Citron
Cherry
Toff
Suck on that, you little shit!
Toffee
Fra gola
Suck on that, you little shit!
Cherry
Toffee
Suck on that, you little shit!
Apple
Toffee
Suck on that, you little shit!
Tof
Frage
Apple
Suck on that, you little shit!
Toff
Fra gol
e
Apple
Toffee
La lele Cave
They're not happy
I've stopped looking after their son.
Told you I'd stop doing that!
Good! That ugly, stupid boy.
But you stopped? You're sure?
Yes! To hell with that idiot!
"Janine, Janine, I'm hungry, j'ai faim!"
Grandma keeps saying
Dad's abandoned us.
Put your grandmother on!
Grandma's sleeping.
Grandma.
How are you, mum?
How do you expect?
Slaving as usual.
Work, work, all day long.
The pigs, the chickens...
I'm an old woman.
Listen, stop telling her
stuff about her dad.
And how he'll never be back.
He'll come back, just later.
But I'm not telling her anything.
Never have.
I'm staying out of that,
it's your business.
But she misses you so much.
She's started crying at night again.
Well, get her to stop.
I'll be back soon.
Look at this.
She keeps count on the wall.
See that?
One line for each day that passes.
One day, one line.
In groups of seven, for each week.
Just like prison inmates.
That's good.
I'll be home soon.
Right, love?
12 November
Once upon a time,
there was an emperor and his empress
who couldn't have children.
An old faith healer told them,
An old faith healer told them,
"I have a remedy
"but you will only have a single son."
F t-Frum os.
Fat Frum mus?
Yes, F t-Frum os.
Prince Charming.
The emperor and empress
took the remedy
and returned joyously to the palace.
A few days later,
the empress sensed she was pregnant.
Just before the hour of his birth,
the child started to cry loudly.
The emperor began to promise him
every worldly good.
In vain! He kept crying.
"Quiet, my little treasure,"
said the emperor.
"For I will give you
"such and such a kingdom.
"Quiet, my son,
for I will give you as a wife
"such and such a princess."
Since the child was still not quiet,
the emperor told him,
"Quiet, my son, for I will give you
"youth without aging,
"and life without death."
Instantly, the child fell silent
and was born.
One day, when he had just turned fifteen,
F t-Frum os stood up and said,
"Father,
"the time has come for you
to keep the promise
"you made to me at birth."
The emperor felt his heart lurch.
"But how can I give you
such a wondrous gift?
"When I made that promise,
"I meant only to console you."
"If you, father, cannot give me that?
"I shall have to roam the earth
"until I find what was promised to me."
F t-Frum os went straight
to the royal stables,
where the kingdom's finest stallions
were kept.
He noticed a horse that was...
skinny, pustular and sickly.
He approached to take a closer look.
As soon as he grasped its tail,
the horse span around and said,
"What are your orders, sire?"
F t-Frum os told the horse of his plan,
and the horse replied,
"It shall be done. Let's go!"
They set off
and soon they reached a field of flowers,
where spring reigned eternal.
The horse said to him,
"Ahead of us looms the palace
"where Youth Without Aging
"and Life Without Death live."
"The palace
is surrounded by a tall forest
"where all the wild animals live."
"Let us go
and may God have pity on us."
They soared into the sky
and saw the palace
shimmering so brightly
that they could not look at it.
On the way past, with the tip of a hoof,
they brushed the treetops.
And suddenly,
the forest came to life.
The feral howls
made their hair stand on end.
Were the lady of the palace
not in the courtyard,
feeding her little ones,
as she called the animals,
they would certainly
have been torn to shreds.
She was so pleased to see them
she saved their lives
for she had never seen humans there.
The lady of the palace
was a tall, attractive fairy.
He told her, "We are looking for
"Youth Without Aging
"and Life Without Death."
"You'll find them here!"
Hice @
br agadir u residence
@ br agadir u residence
He dismounted
and entered the palace.
There, he saw two other women.
The fairy's sisters.
He started by thanking her
for saving his life.
They were so thrilled
that they made a delicious supper.
The three young women
urged him to live with them from now on.
For, as they said,
they'd had enough of solitude.
F t-Frum os agreed there and then.
Gradually, they all grew accustomed
to each other.
And soon,
he married the youngest one.
On their wedding day,
the sisters allowed him
to go wherever he wished
in the vicinity,
except for a valley
that they showed him,
telling him to venture no further
because it would bring bad luck.
They added that the valley was named
the Valley of Tears.
His time in the sisters' company
was without memory.
He did not register time,
since he stayed as young
as when he arrived.
But, one day,
when he was out hunting,
in pursuit of a rabbit,
he let loose an arrow
and missed.
Angrily, he gave chase.
But the poor fellow,
in his confusion,
failed to notice
that in his pursuit of the rabbit,
he had entered the Valley of Tears.
He was returning home,
quarry in hand,
when he was suddenly overwhelmed
by boundless nostalgia for his parents.
He did not dare mention it
to the sisters.
But...
they were alerted by his long face
and the rings under his eyes.
"You wretch,
"you ventured into the Valley of Tears,"
they said in fright.
"Yes.
"Now I am dying to see my parents.
"At the same time,
"I do not have it in my heart
to leave you.
"I shall visit my parents one last time.
"Then I shall return here,
never to leave again."
"Do not leave us.
"Your parents passed away
hundreds of years ago.
"Likewise, if you leave,
"we fear you shall never return."
The young women's prayers
could not appease his violent desire
to see his parents again.
He felt tired to death.
F t-Frum os made preparations
for his journey.
He embraced the women
and left them languishing behind,
with tears in their eyes.
F t-Frum os and his horse
reached the lands
of the witch Gh aeon oai a.
There, they came across towns.
The forests had been turned into fields.
He asked after people he knew,
and wondered
where Gh aeon oai a's lands had gone.
The townspeople answered
that their grandparents had indeed heard
from their own ancestors
such fantastical tales.
"How can this be?" asked F t-Frum os.
I came through here not two days ago.
The townspeople laughed at him,
as if he were delirious.
Upset,
he continued on his way,
oblivious to the fact
his beard and hair had turned white.
He was perplexed.
How could these places have changed
so much in a few days?
And so, he reached his father's kingdom.
There...
were new people
and new towns.
Finally, at the palace
where he came into the world,
seeing the palace in ruins
and overrun by weeds,
he sighed tearfully
and tried to recall the former splendour
of the place.
And the happy days of his childhood.
All he found was a small trunk.
When he raised its lid,
the enfeebled voice of Death
murmured to him,
"Be most welcome, F t-Frum os.
"If you had taken
even a short while longer
"I would myself
have perished eventually."
Saying this,
Death,
which had shrivelled in the trunk,
slapped him.
That slight blow
was enough to kill him.
Immediately after,
he turned to dust.
That's such a sad story.
The years went by so fast
that F t-Frum os
did not see the time go by.
TL
And his parents had died long ago.
23 November
30 November
See that?
He had the face of a fat pig.
Or more like a squirrel.
You think?
How about a fish?
With the eyes...
Of a demon!
You saw them? That man's eyes?
Look, all the Black slaves
they used to have.
These statues,
they're called "mascarpone"
or something like that.
Look there.
Black faces!
See?
Look at the globe.
Was it you
who told Lou en a story about...
a young man who leaves his home...
and he doesn't notice
the passing of time?
Yes.
-It's a Romanian fairytale.
-I see.
There, I told you.
I'd like you to stop
telling him stories like that.
Of course.
Is something wrong?
Two nights running, he cried.
Last night, we had to console him
in our room.
He was scared we'd die. Anyway...
He was badly affected.
I'm sorry.
- There's nothing to be sorry about.
I love the stories you tell.
They're superb.
I'd far rather you tell him those than...
mindless Asterix and Obelix.
With his crappy little dog.
That's the real scary stuff.
Scares the life out of me!
- Take it easy.
- No, it's Obelix!
Yes, all right, fine.
Besides that...
I've forgotten,
I didn't write it down.
You go away on...
the 22nd, right?
22 December?
And you're back when?
- 4 January.
- Yes, that's right.
All right.
The 22nd to the 4th.
Your daughter's well?
Yes, ma'am.
Not very well.
I mean, she misses me.
I understand.
But you'll see her soon.
Yes.
She can't wait.
I can't either.
5 December
Khalil's been deported with his family.
Or is about to be.
How come?
It's my fault.
I posted on our website
about the play's premiere,
with a profile of Khalil.
It was going to be you next week.
I'm really so sorry.
It's not your fault.
How could you know?
What happened?
Mathilde posted
that it was a play performed by amateurs.
And that Khalil had been assaulted.
Beaten up by a customer and so on.
A moron of a student
asked the police
to investigate the matter
and charge the agressors.
He only meant well.
But first of all,
the police checked his papers.
Irregularities were detected,
so they removed him.
He had big problems
we knew nothing about.
I messed up
but I swear I meant no harm.
I was trying to help him.
Of course.
Yes, but fucking hell!
If you'd asked me...
If you hadn't gone it alone,
it wouldn't have happened.
Hold on now,
how was I to know
his papers were problematic?
He told no one, he lied to us.
It never occurred to you to ask.
Just a simple question.
Basically,
you've destroyed our whole concept.
We work with non-professionals
to help them.
With the underprivileged and migrants.
It's community theatre.
Augusto Boal said it.
The aim is not to cause trouble
and get them deported.
It's easy to say that now.
-No kidding.
I hold my hand up and get attacked.
Great community spirit!
A man gets deported and you...
You have an issue
with our community spirit!
Yes, it feels really shitty,
you guys not sharing responsibility.
When I uploaded the post,
everybody read it.
Nobody spoke up.
I was busy,
I just skimmed through it.
Yeah.
So much for the community spirit!
You're all piling on me
and nobody owns it.
Stop yelling at each other, please.
You know, Gian in a,
it could easily have been you.
Me?
No, I have papers, it's all legal.
I'm totally okay,
I came in through an agency.
They can't touch me,
and I'm from an EU country.
Anyway, Khalil, I'm really sorry,
but he had zero accent.
Nothing suggested
his situation was marginal.
Sorry?
There was nothing to show
he wasn't one of us.
There you go,
just like in Faulk en er,
the white black man.
Well...
the question is, what now?
We give up, obviously. "What now?"
Without Khalil, there's no point.
I don't agree.
Our opening night's scheduled.
Leave me be,
I have a chicken to slaughter.
The lady asked me to do it.
Joseph is in charge
of killing chickens, rabbits and ducks.
He kills ducks
using an ancient method from Normandy
that involves
driving a needle into their heads.
He loves to prolong their agony
with sophisticated forms of torture.
He loves to plot and count
and feel in his hands
their death throes.
Their suffering.
Their death!
One time,
I witnessed a duck's death
at Joseph's hands.
One hand clasped its neck.
The other drove a needle in its skull,
in one slow, steady movement.
The animal had freed itself
from Joseph's knee hold.
Its wings kept flapping and flapping.
Even held by Joseph,
it spiral led horribly.
And then, Joseph tossed the animal
on the flags of the kitchen floor,
and elbows propped on knees,
he sat and watched,
with savage joy
and a hideously smug expression,
its convulsions, the frantic scraping
of its feet on the floor.
Finish it off, Joseph!
Kill it outright!
It's horrible to make animals suffer.
It has to suffer!
The more it suffers,
the better the blood tastes.
It amuses me.
I love it.
It was you
who raped little Claire in the woods.
Yes, I'm sure of it now.
It was you!
It was you, you old pig!
14 December
Mummy, look at all the snow!
When I come back from school,
I'll make a snowman!
He'll wait for you.
He won't melt with all that snow.
He'll be the awesomest snowman!
Look!
Fuck it!
Fucking stay there.
Fucking tinsel.
Look at the Santas, my love!
Heaps of them floating around!
16 December
You have to stop that.
Calm down, mummy.
Stop! No!
Stop it! Just calm down!
Respect people.
Stop yelling at them!
What? I already told you...
I told you to stay at home, didn't I?
I don't know,
she needs constant home help.
- Everything okay?
- No, not okay!
Pierre's mother went out and fell.
She was rushed to hospital.
-Oh my God!
She slipped on black ice
and broke her leg.
Come on now.
- Is it serious?
- No, it's not serious.
I cancel the dinner party tonight, right?
- Yeah, sure.
- There we are.
I'll go up and finish...
So I need to call Jean-Baptiste.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
It'll be fine.
I don't want grandma to die.
What are you talking about?
For sure, she'll get better.
Not for sure.
For sure.
Yes, Jean-Baptiste, this is Marie.
Bad time?
Something's come up...
Do you want a story?
It's Pierre's mother.
She tripped and fell, of course.
Yes, sorry, we have to cancel.
18 December
Right here. Hold on, there's a code.
There we go.
Bring my bag!
Bring my bag, will you?
You look like Mishima
after his har a-k iri.
With your bandage.
-I don't give a hoot!
-Can I help?
- No, it's fine.
Who's she?
Sure?
- Yes.
It's all good. We're fine.
There we are, all done.
Here, let me...
Everything's just fine.
Take my slipper off.
Pierre!
How are you, Anne?
Look, mummy...
I'm not very well.
- How can I help?
Here, look...
This one's for up. Look.
The room's not too cold?
There's a remote control, mummy.
Press here, and you go up.
See? And press here...
Yes, my boy, I see.
20 December
POUR
ANG
We have a favour to ask.
A big favour.
You know our skiing holiday's booked
for tomorrow.
We have two options. Either...
we cancel our skiing holiday.
which is a tragedy for Lou en.
He loves skiing.
He waits for it
like it's the 2nd Coming.
Either, we thought,
you could perhaps push back
a little bit your...
I mean...
your trip to Romania
so you're free to look after mummy.
You already looked after seniors?
Yes.
- See, works fine.
That's not it.
It wouldn't be a problem.
But my daughter's expecting me.
I promised to go home.
She's expecting me.
Yes.
We know.
That's why we'll change our return,
to be back on 30 December
instead of 5 January.
But my flight's in two days.
I have a ticket.
Don't worry about a thing.
We'll get one.
So...
you can fly out on 1 January.
5 January
would be just perfect, Gian in a.
No. Please, the 1st at least.
1 January.
I've put it off too long for Maria.
All right.
Please...
31 December, does that work?
To be there for New Year's.
It's important for Maria.
There's only a seat in Business
on the 1st.
Take it?
We'll take it.
But you know you'll get a little extra.
We'll top up your pay.
It's not necessary, thanks.
Sure it is,
it's important to compensate you.
No arguing.
We'll bring your bed down.
It could be easier
to stay in the attic
and ask Madam Anne to call me
when she needs me.
I mean, sleep upstairs.
And come down during the day.
- Perfect.
Here, get this one?
The most expensive but too bad.
All right.
Too bad.
- Buy?
- That's fine.
21 December
It's sad to end up like this,
in nappies!
It's only temporary, the nappies.
Not for long, don't worry.
-It's nothing.
It heals fast.
It's just a broken leg.
You'll be as good as new soon.
-It's next to nothing.
- Stop...
-Please!
-Be gentle.
Stop!
Don't be embarrassed with me.
You know, I'm very experienced.
I was a bad ante.
Is that what you...
Stop it, will you?
- In French, band ante means...
- Yes...
It means, it's like when...
We know.
It's what you call women who give...
men an erection.
I already cared for Alzheimer patients.
I don't have Alzheimer's.
No, of course not.
I was just saying.
You're sweet.
I can tell, you're a sweetie.
We'll get on fine.
Yes!
Yes!
- Just fine.
You're a love.
Mummy, if you had Alzheimer's,
you'd never know.
I wanted to give you a little gift for...
For Christmas,
so you can go shopping, buy clothes...
So...
That's for Christmas.
- Thanks.
- Our little gift.
And this is what we discussed...
For you staying with my mother.
All there. Count it, if you want.
Thank you so very much.
No, I should be thanking you.
And as I on B loy used to say,
who knows if the winner
is the one that gives or takes.
I like to think that I...
I win by giving to you, see?
Yes, sir.
-It's my pleasure.
And little Lou en is delighted by...
He adores your stories.
It's way better
than Asterix and Obelix because...
Obelix is just disgusting
with his fat belly.
It's disgusting!
Whereas your story
about the walking cup-and-ball is...
It's full of joy.
Even if the cup-and-ball breaks
in the end, right?
Is that right? It breaks?
You should change that story.
Change the ending...
Let's say the cup-and-ball
isn't broken at the end,
it's full of joy.
That's a wonderful story
for little Lou en.
23 December
That's lovely, sweetie!
I couldn't find a topper,
but grandma will get
the tinsel from the attic tomorrow.
- It's old, but -
Wow, that red one!
I had that as a kid!
Go back in
before you catch a cold.
Look, grandma's bought firewood.
The house is warmer now!
I know, I sent her the money.
I know.
Well, see?
It's good to have money.
My love, here's the thing...
I'll be a few days late.
What?
Yes, love, their grandma
slipped and fell like an idiot.
I need to stay and wipe her butt.
They're paying me loads.
I don't want that!
You swore you'd come!
You said it yourself! You lied to me!
I didn't, my love. That's life.
Sometimes you do what you must,
not what you want.
What difference does it make if...
You're an idiot and a liar!
Idiot! Go to hell!
Come on, don't be silly.
Mummy will bring you lots of presents!
I promise!
And you can come here in spring.
Mummy will come loaded with gifts,
just like Santa in picture books!
What's wrong with the kid?
I have bad news.
They're working me to the bone.
Their old bat slipped and fell.
I need to stay to wipe her backside.
The poor girl has been
waiting for you like...
I can't help it!
Just reassure her a few more days.
Just a few days.
Fuck that stupid old bat.
Die, you fucking idiot.
Just call me Anne, will you?
No, really.
I can't do it.
How could I do such a thing?
I'm terribly embarrassed.
Don't be.
Hold on, as if you're on a bus,
and lift yourself up.
Exactly.
Lift up your hips. Perfect.
This one person,
an Alzheimer's patient...
I looked after him
until he died tragically.
- I don't have Alzheimer's.
- I know.
God forbid.
Stop saying that.
You attract the forces of evil.
A real bother, the Alzheimer's guy?
No, not at all.
They're the best patients, actually.
There's nothing to do.
They be have like little kids.
Real cuties.
You're very beautiful.
Fuck your stinky ass.
24 December
COMPAN
DIP AN
They're called C lu ari i.
-How amusing.
- Yes, they're fun.
That's Ceausescu's palace?
Yes.
The House of the People.
Casa Pop or ulu i.
You know, I...
RAD
BRA UC
When I was young,
and I'm ashamed to admit it,
my friends and I
loved Ceausescu.
Yes, because he was
with the non-aligned powers and he was...
for Palestine,
against Apartheid...
It was only after the revolution in...
December ' 89.
- Exactly.
It was only after the revolution...
After the revolution in ' 89,
that we realised what a monster he was.
A lot of Romanians
are nostalgic for him.
Me too.
Apparently, he worked
for the good of the people.
People's memories are short.
They forget the shops were empty,
there was no food.
There was no heating.
They forget all that.
So it goes.
Yes, but...
But what?
I have to say, I was...
I was hugely political.
Very politically active when I was young.
Really?
- Really.
I was part of May ' 68.
What was that?
It was a movement
of young people demanding change.
And even today, you can be sure
that what we did was good.
We achieved change.
That's right.
All the good guys were on our side.
There was Sartre, there was Foucault.
It was fabulous.
So...
So...
So...
We went on demos,
we wanted the workers on our side.
We'd left the universities
and we were...
We wanted
to bring the Chinese communist party
to Paris.
Yes, we were Maoists.
- Wonderful.
- Yes.
A TV channel sent a correspondent
to report on...
In Mao's China.
Her name was Marceline...
Marceline Lori dan-Ivens.
- A correspondent?
- I swallowed...
I'm fine.
She was told
to ask the Chinese prime minister,
under Mao,
whose name was Zhou Enlai...
To find out what he thought
of our movement, you see?
10000
40000
When she came back,
10000
she told us his answer.
10000
Which was?
Go back to university!
We wanted to take to the streets
with the workers, you see?
We were...
We were disappointed, you know.
And I was young.
We were idealists.
I'm 80 years old, I have osteoporosis,
my health's going down...
No, you're wearing really well.
Honestly!
Fucking carcass is just fine!
So I'm putting on an act?
Wasn't it...
on Christmas Day that he was...
decapitated?
Ceausescu.
Yes.
25 December, 1989.
1989?
- Yes.
It was...
It was jaw-dropping, wasn't it?
I've only seen it on YouTube.
His wife yelling
at soldiers tying her up,
"My children!
"Don't tie me up!
"You are my children!"
You like acting, don't you?
- I guess.
You want to be an actress?
No.
But madam suggested I act in a play
at the Literature Faculty.
Really?
- Yes.
Can you act out a scene from your play?
Yes.
She was a young woman from Brittany.
Madam came over to talk to her.
"Goodness me!
"How tiny you are!
"Why did you leave home?"
"Because...
"My father beat me.
"My mother beat me.
"Everybody beat me."
"Why did everyone beat you?"
"I don't know.
"In every family,
there's always one girl,
"who is beaten because..."
"How ugly you are, little one!
"If I take you on, it's because...
"I feel sorry for you."
"You see, little one,
this is a unique opportunity
"that won't come along again.
"I am not like all the others.
"I...
"...
"I...
"I am alone.
"I have nobody.
"My family
"is my maid.
"What do I ask of my maid?
"To love me
"To love me
"a little.
"That's all.
"My maid
"lives with me,
"eats with me,
"except for the wine.
"Sleeps with me.
"When I die...
"because I am very old
"and sickly...
"When I die...
"Come closer, little one.
"Goodness me,
what is wrong with you?
"What is that odour of yours?
"So you have corruption in your body?
"So you have cancer in your nose,
"in your stomach perhaps?"
"That...
"is my big failing."
What's this here?
Hey, sweetheart, do you love me?
Sweetheart!
Bitch! Fuck you
and your dirty, rotten cunt!
Why won't you pick up?
Neither you, nor Maria!
What the hell?
I told you I need to talk to her!
Call back right away!
25 December
- What's that?
- A Christmas movie.
Why the fuck don't you answer?
I keep calling.
What?
Come again?
What happened to her?
Just tell me!
Put her on.
Why can't I talk to her?
Put her on the phone!
Okay, I'll come.
My daughter...
Hello, I'm glad you answered.
My daughter,
Maria,
tried to commit suicide
using rat poison.
I have to fly to Romania urgently.
No, she isn't dead but...
It's serious. She's in hospital.
They pumped her stomach.
I'm sorry but I have to go.
She tried to kill herself.
With rat poison.
What? I don't understand a word.
My daughter tried to kill herself
with rat poison.
Rat poison?
Why?
She said she missed me.
I told her I was coming.
I told her I would be
just a bit delayed.
With you, I couldn't just leave.
Why couldn't she wait a few more days?
-How old is she?
- Nine.
How can you be suicidal
aged nine?
How is she now?
You're not lying
about her being fine?
Put her on the phone.
Why won't she?
Tell her there's no reason
to be upset, damn it!
Send me a video of her.
Because I want to see she's all right!
Film her right now!
Little sweetie.
Want to talk to mummy?
Come on, say something!
Your mum wants to see you're all right.
I don't want to.
Why did you do it?
Give her a break.
You want to die?
Don't you know you go to hell
for killing yourself?
Don't tell her off.
Yes, she's completely stupid.
She should have told her off before.
No, don't tell her off at all.
Yes, Mr Donna dieu?
Getting better.
They're taking her home.
Most likely, she's already there.
Yes, I understand but...
I have to go.
I don't know what to say.
It's better if I go.
All right.
I'll send you the birth certificate,
ID and details on WhatsApp.
Yes, I can. They have the signature.
Yes.
No, I'd hate you to pay that much.
My room's fine for all three of us.
Yes.
Just perfect.
Thank you.
Well?
That was Mr Donna dieu.
He says it's very hard
to leave the mountains.
Lou en's crying,
so he came up with another solution.
He'll fly Maria here for a few days
and I'll stay with you.
That's not a bad idea.
Yes, and he's paying for it all.
Yes, it's better that way.
They want to see Bordeaux.
All this time
I've been promising them...
I can't wait to meet them,
your daughter especially.
She's a love.
She's even learned some French.
Little sweetie!
variation on the eponymous novel
by Octave Mirbeau
23 September
Give me, please.
Please!
I've nothing! Sorry.
Fuck your mouth!
Janine!
How was your day?
- Great.
I want an ice cream.
-We can't today.
Why not?
We just can't.
I'll make you some food at home.
- Can we play football?
-Not now.
I wanted to play with the older kids.
They pushed me.
I fell even.
That's life.
We're friends again now.
Tomorrow's the birthday
of a girl at school...
Janine!
Yes?
Come and tell me a story!
You fucking snotty brat.
Aren't you on your tablet?
No, it timed out and switched off.
I can't right now. I'm cooking!
Come on. You can do that later.
Fuck you, motherfucker!
25 September
Hello!
All good?
How are you, Gian in a?
Just fine.
Lou en was very good today.
I was cooking. I made Thai soup.
Thai soup?
Wonderful!
- I just...
- Tom kha gai, is it?
You're a real gem, you know.
How did we get by without you?
I just followed the recipe.
- Very good.
- Good?
Yes.
- Bravo!
- Thank you.
You added something extra?
Not bad.
No, I followed the recipe
in your book.
No, no, there's a...
There's a dash of Romania, isn't there?
It's wonderful.
- You need to change the tablecloth.
- Yes.
Something else...
I tried to dust in the...
What's it called?
With the dolls in it.
With the dolls in it?
And trinkets.
- In there.
No, hands off my Wunder kabinett.
It's full of fragile and very rare items.
Hands off the trinkets. Watch out!
Like Diderot's jewels, hands off!
It's bizarre.
Yes, bizarre.
So I'm writing a book about it.
Very interesting.
I'm also writing an essay
on Athanasius Kircher.
Don't know him.
A jesuit.
A 17th-century German jesuit.
He was a man of adventure.
He wrote a heap of books.
On subjects ranging from mathematics
to so many other things.
Music, acoustics, astronomy...
Medicine and China...
He also happened to be
one of the first Egyptologists.
He was a...
For the period,
he possessed unbelievable knowledge.
-Kind of a walking internet, see?
- Okay.
A lot of what he said
turned out to be wrong.
Or even totally fanciful but...
Hands off the trinkets! Watch out!
He even dreamed up an orchestra of cats.
Really?
Really.
You pulled their tails
to make music, to compose.
And a machine for...
How to clean a volcano.
I miss you too.
But I spoke with the Donn adieus.
They're letting me come home
for Christmas and New Year's Eve.
Come on, don't cry.
You'll make mummy sad.
Sweetheart,
it's in just over two months.
Look, mummy.
I made my bed.
And I have a new doll.
She's called Aura ,
named after Aurelia.
Because Aurelia gave her to me.
Look how pretty she is!
But, mummy...
I miss you.
I want you to come home to Romania.
Maria!
Stop now.
You want mummy
to see you crying again?
Hang up already.
I don't want to hang up!
I want to keep filming!
No more filming now.
Come on...
You've been yelling so much
my head hurts.
Aurelia...
Time to go home.
I want to stay some more!
- Go home to your mother.
- I want to stay!
My head's killing me. Put your shoes on!
-Be good or you'll catch it!
- I want to stay.
You'll come back tomorrow.
29 September
Look, love, this is the city.
And here...
Look at this big ass ship.
On the river.
See?
It's a floating hotel!
Home at last!
Look at all this shit.
3 October
C le stine, sir.
Oh, hell!
Pretty name but too long, child.
Far too long.
I'll call you Marie, if you don't mind.
It's very dainty too. And short.
And I've always
called my chambermaids Marie.
You have no objection
to my calling you Marie, naturally?
Yes, sir.
Pretty girl, sweet nature...
Do you have others?
Other names, sir?
No, child, other booties?
Yes, sir, I have others.
Patent leather?
Yes, sir.
Very good! Yellow leather?
No, none, sir.
You must have some.
I'll give you a pair.
Fine, fine, not a word!
Sir!
Understand, child...
I have my foibles.
At my age,
it's permitted, is it not?
I alone shall polish your little booties.
Your dear little booties.
Listen carefully.
Each night before bed,
you shall bring your booties to my room,
you shall place them by the bed
and, each evening,
when opening my windows,
you shall retrieve them.
And if you are a very good girl...
I'll shower you with gifts.
Thank you!
Thank you.
Marie!
Your little booties!
Give them to me immediately.
I want them immediately.
Let's run the lighting cue.
And I lie down?
Yes, lie down.
Now I...
Next morning,
going in to open the window,
I nearly fainted in fright.
Sir was dead!
Flat on his back,
in the middle of the bed.
His body almost completely naked.
Rigor mortis already setting in.
He might have been asleep,
were his face not...
purple!
The sinister purple of aubergines.
The sight was terrifying.
Sir had his teeth clamped
on one of my booties.
Clamped so hard in his teeth
that after futile and horrible efforts
I had to cut the leather with a razor
to tear it out.
I am no saint.
I know men and I have learned,
through experience,
of what follies and filth
they are capable.
But a man like sir?
8 October
Look, love,
they call this the Water Mirror.
All the buildings are reflected in it.
There are a lot of beautiful buildings.
And a lot of poverty.
Especially with migrants
coming from all over the world.
Still, it's lovely here.
Winter's not far off.
You'll get heaps of presents.
And mummy promises you,
if we save up enough money,
you can come here to see the Mirror
and all these beautiful things.
Be ddy-byes now?
-Ma'am?
- Yes?
I brought your coffee.
V 60, your favourite.
All right.
Thanks very much. I appreciate it.
You'll have a cup with me?
No, thanks.
Just take his temperature.
Even if I insist?
Are you happy here?
Yes, and I'm very grateful to you.
Thank you for everything.
No problem.
What happened
where you were before?
How can I put it?
They treated me very badly.
A family from Paris.
They kept calling me
a dirty gypsy, monkey, and stuff.
They scammed me financially.
The lady even beat me.
It's difficult to believe.
Yes.
Several times.
Worst of all, they took my papers
so I couldn't leave.
How come?
Yes, I wanted
to see my daughter in Romania.
So they took my passport and ID card.
Why?
That's absurd.
They were sick in the head.
They threatened me, saying,
if I went to the police,
I'd be in trouble
because I work unofficially,
so I'd be deported.
Good Lord!
What awful people!
I went to the police in the end
and ran away but...
It was horrible.
9 October
Look, mummy,
Grandma's going to slaughter the chicken.
She's afraid to slaughter one.
She's such a chicken!
Hello.
Look, mummy, it's Cost ic B tu!
World's greatest chick e n-s layer,
ladies and gentlemen!
This'll make a good soup.
Good sauce too.
My goodness.
There, done.
When I was your age, in winter,
I'd go tobogganing on a frozen river.
There were so many children
with their toboggans on the ice.
From time to time,
the ice broke up
and it was very dangerous.
Some children even died.
They died? Really?
Yes.
I fell off the toboggan once
and it was really difficult
to get out of the water.
Afterwards, I ran home in the snow,
and I changed my clothes.
But I still caught cold.
Like you.
My father, may God forgive him,
beat me really hard.
How come?
What the heck
was I doing on the ice?
But those days are past.
It doesn't snow like that anymore and...
all the kids have gone.
14 October
I don't think I'll ever get used to it.
When Teacher yells at me,
I get scared and start crying.
Teachers are like that there.
Always yelling at the kids.
They even used to hit us.
Teacher hit me too.
They don't do that in France.
Then why don't you take me with you?
I told you, love, I can't just yet.
I need to pay off the bank,
finish renovations on the house.
Remember Daddy will be away a long time.
But I miss you!
When I come at Christmas,
we'll spend lots of time together.
Didn't I promise?
Okay.
Listen...
I'm a giant toad,
coming to eat you up!
I'm a giant toad
coming to eat you up too!
Here, I'll eat you again!
17 October
Don't cry, ma'am.
We shall save him.
I swear we shall save him.
All he asked of me
was to read him poetry.
The poets speak to the souls
of the simple, the sad and the sick.
In that, they are eternal.
Do you know
that when one has sensitivity,
one is always partly poet?
You too, little C le stine,
often you have told me things
as beautiful as verse!
Monsieur Georges!
You are mocking me!
No!
You have no idea
you said such beautiful things.
Your chores can wait, C le stine.
Come close to me!
I sit here, sick.
Completely sick!
Monsieur Georges!
You do not be have!
It's not nice.
What if your mother were to come,
Monsieur Georges,
and see you in this state?
You would make her cry once more,
Monsieur Georges!
Call me simply Georges.
-Wicked girl!
- That I could not do. Never!
No, don't go!
Stay with me!
You have no idea
how good it makes me feel!
How it warms me up!
You see? I am no longer
jittery and agitated!
I am no longer sick!
I am so happy!
Monsieur Georges!
I'm not feeling well. Leave me alone!
Stay!
Leave me alone!
You see now, Monsieur Georges.
You make yourself sick with pleasure.
Be have yourself, will you?
And if you were a good boy...
do you know what you would do?
You would go to bed this moment.
This moment!
I feel within me,
in my soul and in my body,
newborn vigors,
a whole unknown life. Simmering!
In any case, what can you do?
Why would you love me?
Truly...
you are right not to love me.
You fear you shall poison your mouth
with the poisons in mine.
And earn my illness,
the illness
of which I am surely dying,
through a kiss of mine!
Do not say that, Monsieur Georges.
It is horrible and wicked,
everything you say.
What a stench!
My God!
Here, wicked man,
behold how scared I am!
Eat my cheese!
It was above all
an act of fervent piety.
Selfless and very pure.
As if to say,
"No, I do not believe that you are sick."
And for proof,
I do not hesitate
to mingle my breath with yours.
Drink that breath
and steep my bosom in it!
Monsieur Georges!
I did you wrong!
I am so happy.
Do not leave me all night long!
Alone, you see, I do believe
that I could not bear the violence,
however sweet,
of my happiness.
It is nothing.
Do not be sorry
since I am so happy.
And I am not sick.
You'll see
how well I sleep next to you.
I want to sleep
as if I were your little child.
Between your breasts.
My head between your breasts.
What if your mother were to ring
for me tonight, Monsieur Georges?
No!
She will not ring!
My kiss had the sinister touch
of criminal madness.
Knowing that I was killing Georges,
I strove to kill myself too,
through the same happiness and sickness.
I inhaled,
I drank death,
all the death from his mouth.
And while he was coughing,
wracked in my arms
by a violent fit,
I saw, frothing from his lips,
a large, vile gob of spit
streaked with blood.
I swallowed the spit
with murderous rapacity.
Once more your mouth!
Once more your eyes!
Once more your joy!
Not tonight.
Please, be have yourself tonight.
You always say the same thing.
"Not tonight!"
Do I have time to wait?
Monsieur Georges!
So you want me to kill you?
So you want me to have
a lifetime's remorse for killing you?
Be quiet!
You have no idea
how good it makes me feel!
Monsieur Georges!
But...
I'm not an actress.
That's why I chose you,
to make it more authentic.
We don't want actors.
We want something more amateur, more...
com media dell'arte, grand guignol.
I mean,
something joyful and accessible.
Amateur.
Like Ubu Roi.
That's why we want an immigrant maid
and why Khalil plays all the male parts.
Yes, but...
I'm a bit embarrassed.
Really? You know...
Nobody's forcing you.
Only do what's right for you,
if it seems like a good idea to you.
Think it over.
Basically, we wanted
to do something provocative, you see.
That's why,
if you could do the scene nude,
it'd be just perfect.
Perhaps only in my underwear.
Or just topless.
What do you think?
If I can give my opinion,
I think it's one or the other.
Doing things by half
makes no sense.
We'll have an intimacy coordinator so...
We have no money for that.
I understand,
but we need one automatically.
We need a coordinator.
-I'll think it over.
Thanks, Gian in a.
One more question...
In Bu uel's film
based on Diary of a Chambermaid,
there's a line that is not in the novel.
Joseph says, reading the paper,
goodness knows how many Jews
were killed in Romania.
Do you know what it means?
No.
No idea.
You know nothing
about anti-Semitism in Romania?
18 October
20 October
Goal!
Hagi!
Hagi! Hagi!
Janine, who's Romania's best goalie?
I don't know.
Look, sweetie.
That's Lou en.
The boy I look after.
He's cute but you're the cutest.
When you come on holiday,
you'll be friends!
Janine, can you film me
in slow-motion?
Ready?
22 October
Why are you just letting her cry?
What can I do?
It's not my fault, is it?
Besides, I got the roof fixed.
All the money went on that.
You haven't been sending any.
I will.
You think money grows on trees here?
First let me finish
paying the fucking bank.
And don't let poor Maria
bang her head against walls like that.
She was beaten at school!
I don't want them touching her.
What can I do?
They do that here.
A little slap here and there.
Comrade Teacher used to slap you.
I got slapped too.
Yeah, the fucker.
Put her on.
Maria!
- Want to talk to your mother?
No!
She doesn't want to.
Tell her I want to talk to her right now!
Come on, Maria.
Please, do it for grandma.
Come talk to your mum.
I don't want to talk to you!
Why not?
You take care of other children
instead of me!
Seriously now?
It's my job, sweetie!
I don't want you looking after that boy!
I want you to come home!
I'll be there in the flash of an eye.
I don't want you
to be with that stupid, ugly boy!
All right, my love.
Here's the deal,
tomorrow I tell them I'm done.
I'm not looking after him anymore.
Okay?
And you're coming home?
To hell with their ugly brat!
I'm done with him!
But you're coming home?
I can't. I've explained before.
But I'm done with him.
Laundry, cleaning, cooking, fine.
But no more childcare!
To hell with that idiot!
You promise?
23 October
That's Gian in a.
-Gian in a? Thank you.
We're delighted to have Gian in a.
How would we get by
without her today?
Put it there.
She tells Lou en
the most extraordinary stories.
I can tell you,
her imagination is insane.
- You come from Romania?
Yes, sir.
Bucharest?
No, I've never been to Bucharest.
I come from a village in Moldavia.
You mean Moldova?
No, Moldavia in Romania.
-It's not the same thing?
-Not quite.
You knew?
Naturally.
Janine, sit down with us.
Eat with us and talk with us.
- No, thank you.
- Come on!
-Just a little.
- I'm very busy in the kitchen.
Sorry.
I heard you're in our college play,
a Mirbeau adaptation.
That's true.
Madam suggested it. I'm no actress.
Some of our literature students
put on a play every year.
And usually the show is pretty well done.
They cast only non-professionals.
Yes, amateurs.
Amateurs, that's right.
As well as migrants,
and seeing as...
Gian in a loves acting out the stories
she tells Lou en,
it seemed a good idea.
Great!
- They do an extraordinary job.
-How interesting!
- Yes, it's...
What kind of stories do you tell Lou en?
Romanian stories and fairy tales,
picked up from my grandfather.
He was the village storyteller
for all the kids.
- You're so lucky!
Yes.
And how do you feel here in France?
Good.
Really good.
I'm very lucky here.
I miss my daughter, though.
Her daughter's in Romania.
She's flying home soon.
- For the holidays.
- Yes.
That's great.
Her father...
After we got divorced,
he stayed in Spain
and broke off contact with her.
Yes, apparently, he's not a nice man.
A bastard!
He's a bastard.
Let's call things by their name.
- Yes, it was a big mistake.
- A bastard.
They exist.
Gian in a, can you come here?
Me?
Come on.
We need a two-tier Europe.
West, with real potential
for rapid development.
And East, lagging behind.
Gian in a, actually what Jacques is saying
is that Ukraine should give in
to Russian demands,
NATO should abandon
the Baltic states and Eastern Europe.
Otherwise,
there'll never be real peace, right?
Gian in a, as someone from the East,
as a Romanian, what do you say?
I don't know.
I mean...
I don't know.
Obviously! Only the Yanks
and other nut jobs keep the war going.
I know that the Russians are bad,
so my grandparents always said.
-She's right. They're brutes!
- For sure.
I know nothing about politics.
It's not about politics,
it's about principles!
I mean,
just imagine!
Half of Europe
abandons the other half?
It's intolerable!
Either we stand together
to help Ukraine or...
No, honestly,
these leftists are all Putinists!
- Simple as that.
- They're anti-Putin and anti-Ukraine.
The real bad actor is America!
That's not what you said earlier.
Personally, I adore Zelenskyy.
And he's super sexy.
Fuck him then, if you want.
The guy's trash!
My wife's family and I loathe him.
I piss on the smart ass shit!
Marching us to nuclear war
' cause he's a moron!
Calm down.
I'm very calm.
Champagne socialism is over.
Look...
Over!
Somehow I wound up on a Facebook group
that posts daily...
war videos.
Oh, fuck! Oh, fu...
war videos.
Oh, fuck! Oh, fu...
It's scary,
more and more like a video game.
Who's filming?
Them.
Their helmet cams film it all.
Why don't they just surrender?
You go further.
Why don't they just surrender?
Why don't they just surrender?
Like us in 1940.
Why not surrender?
They're all so young.
Poor guys.
They could surrender, though, right?
It's terrifying, isn't it?
- A country can surrender to save all...
- That's not the point.
Nice one, nice one!
Nice one, nice one!
Well, Gian in a...
Well, Gian in a...
Imagine you're a soldier, you see?
Surrender, you fucking cunts!
Imagine you're a soldier, you see?
Surrender, you fucking cunts!
Surrender, you fucking cunts!
Can we try a thought exercise?
Can we try a thought exercise?
You can live, motherfuckers!
Can we try a thought exercise?
Can we try a thought exercise?
Close your eyes
and bring to mind the footage.
Now, can you tell us who you're for?
That's horrible.
When you're ready.
For the Ukrainians shooting
or the Russians falling?
Stop it.
I know that the Russians
tried to steal our country.
Yes! The Russians
want to steal your country.
That's the truth.
Whatever else happens,
there comes a time to act.
I never disputed that.
- You don't dispute it?
- No, I don't.
Can you see
how disrespectful you are?
How disrespectful you are!
In front of folks from the East.
You realise
what you've done tonight in my home?
Look at me when I'm talking to you!
This is going too far.
25 October
Who's a clever, pretty chicken!
Of course,
you're one of our best customers.
Yes.
I'm delighted
to be able to supply your wines.
GRANDE
But I'm sorry, we're completely...
CRAN DE
It's a tragedy.
It's a tragedy.
GRANDE
It's a tragedy.
It's a tragedy.
You're full of...
There, you're full of...
You've got it on your nose.
You're always having fun, aren't you?
Yes, a lot.
Who was that behind you?
That's Janine, my nanny.
Hello!
Hello, Janine. I like your scarf.
Thanks a lot.
Right, of course...
Lou en's always talking about you.
Really?
Sure. He said you're very nice.
I've been to Romania.
Although it was a long time ago.
Around 1985.
-See you later.
- Bye.
I met lots of Romanians.
All of them,
they all wanted me
to bring them to France.
All those I met.
The poverty over there
was just terrible.
Yes, I know.
I mean, I guess so.
I wasn't born then.
People must have said.
What's it like now?
I don't know.
For some people, better.
For others...
30 October
Mum, we're going to school
in the next village.
Ours closed down.
It's cold outside,
but we're having lots of fun.
That idiot's honking!
GR 60 NNN
You blockhead!
You blockhead!
GR 60 NNN
GR 60 NNN
GR 60 NNN
GR 60 NNN
GR 60 NNN
GR 60 NM
There are no insects. no birds,
no worms that I have not eaten.
I have eaten polecats and snakes.
Rats and crickets. Caterpillars!
When an animal is found,
alive or dead,
an animal that no one can identify,
the call goes out,
"Take it to Captain Mauger!"
It is brought to me and I eat it.
I eat everything.
In the depths of winter,
unknown birds fly over,
from America or further afield.
They are brought to me and I eat them.
I eat everything.
Bravo!
Kleber!
Kleber is my ferret. Phenomenal!
Come here, Kleber.
Have you ever seen such a tame ferret?
He follows me in the garden
like a puppy.
I call him and he is there.
He eats with us, sleeps with us...
Mark my words,
I love him as much as any human.
I'd refuse 1, 000 francs for him.
I wager, captain sir,
that you will not eat your ferret.
Eat Kleber?
Dare say that again.
I wager
that you will not eat your ferret.
I will not eat my ferret?
What are you saying?
You're saying I will not eat him?
Yes.
Well then, you'll see.
I eat everything.
Nowadays, with all the vegetarians,
animal rights and so on,
that scene should go.
What?
- It's a great scene.
I don't know, Mirbeau loved to provoke.
I'd hate to smooth the edges
that make him so important.
We're not smoothing any edges,
but provocation...
Go pray in church.
Throwing in racist...
God always answers our prayers.
But most often the answer is no.
Get lost!
Like I said,
provocation can be futile at times.
Throwing in classism, racism,
or plain vulgarity,
it's just nothing.
What are you talking about?
It's not racist!
Mirbeau is against racism, right?
No, hold on,
we can't slaughter animals like that.
It's...
It's...
We need to respect animal rights, guys.
It's super important.
Sorry, but
what does "animal rights" mean?
I worked in an abattoir in Spain
and there were no rights of any kind.
They exploited us too.
Gian in a, you can't compare.
It's one thing to kill animals
in a civilised way for food.
But killing animals for fun
or to avoid looking after some kittens...
You're right,
but I remember, about ten years ago,
before I left the country,
there was a funny story online
about a girl
from a country somewhere...
- Yes, maybe...
- It's raining.
But let me just say...
Then we can go.
Before I left home,
there was a funny story online
about a girl somewhere
who threw kittens in a river.
Everybody accused her...
She was even taken to court.
- Exactly.
- But in the countryside...
at home, it's what you did
with kittens and puppies.
My grandmother carried them
in her apron to the river
and threw them in...
That's barbaric. It's horrible!
No, come on, barbaric?
What else could we do?
We'd have been overrun
by dogs, cats and rats!
Is there nowhere to take them?
A shelter or anything?
A shelter? No, there isn't.
Anyway, in the shelters,
they killed them too.
31 October
Erd beere
Toffee
Look, love, Halloween stuff.
Toffee
e Toffee Mir till o
Lot tee
Zitron e
Erd beere of fee
Look, love, Halloween stuff.
a gola
E Toffee
ee
Erd beere f fee
Look, love, Halloween stuff.
rago la
Toffee Toffee
Look, love, Halloween stuff.
Cherry
Look, love, Halloween stuff.
Apfel
Toffee
Toffee
Suck on that, you little shit! Cherry
Suck on that, you little shit!
Cherry
Toffee
Suck on that, you little shit!
Toffee Citron
Cherry
Toff
Suck on that, you little shit!
Toffee
Fra gola
Suck on that, you little shit!
Cherry
Toffee
Suck on that, you little shit!
Apple
Toffee
Suck on that, you little shit!
Tof
Frage
Apple
Suck on that, you little shit!
Toff
Fra gol
e
Apple
Toffee
La lele Cave
They're not happy
I've stopped looking after their son.
Told you I'd stop doing that!
Good! That ugly, stupid boy.
But you stopped? You're sure?
Yes! To hell with that idiot!
"Janine, Janine, I'm hungry, j'ai faim!"
Grandma keeps saying
Dad's abandoned us.
Put your grandmother on!
Grandma's sleeping.
Grandma.
How are you, mum?
How do you expect?
Slaving as usual.
Work, work, all day long.
The pigs, the chickens...
I'm an old woman.
Listen, stop telling her
stuff about her dad.
And how he'll never be back.
He'll come back, just later.
But I'm not telling her anything.
Never have.
I'm staying out of that,
it's your business.
But she misses you so much.
She's started crying at night again.
Well, get her to stop.
I'll be back soon.
Look at this.
She keeps count on the wall.
See that?
One line for each day that passes.
One day, one line.
In groups of seven, for each week.
Just like prison inmates.
That's good.
I'll be home soon.
Right, love?
12 November
Once upon a time,
there was an emperor and his empress
who couldn't have children.
An old faith healer told them,
An old faith healer told them,
"I have a remedy
"but you will only have a single son."
F t-Frum os.
Fat Frum mus?
Yes, F t-Frum os.
Prince Charming.
The emperor and empress
took the remedy
and returned joyously to the palace.
A few days later,
the empress sensed she was pregnant.
Just before the hour of his birth,
the child started to cry loudly.
The emperor began to promise him
every worldly good.
In vain! He kept crying.
"Quiet, my little treasure,"
said the emperor.
"For I will give you
"such and such a kingdom.
"Quiet, my son,
for I will give you as a wife
"such and such a princess."
Since the child was still not quiet,
the emperor told him,
"Quiet, my son, for I will give you
"youth without aging,
"and life without death."
Instantly, the child fell silent
and was born.
One day, when he had just turned fifteen,
F t-Frum os stood up and said,
"Father,
"the time has come for you
to keep the promise
"you made to me at birth."
The emperor felt his heart lurch.
"But how can I give you
such a wondrous gift?
"When I made that promise,
"I meant only to console you."
"If you, father, cannot give me that?
"I shall have to roam the earth
"until I find what was promised to me."
F t-Frum os went straight
to the royal stables,
where the kingdom's finest stallions
were kept.
He noticed a horse that was...
skinny, pustular and sickly.
He approached to take a closer look.
As soon as he grasped its tail,
the horse span around and said,
"What are your orders, sire?"
F t-Frum os told the horse of his plan,
and the horse replied,
"It shall be done. Let's go!"
They set off
and soon they reached a field of flowers,
where spring reigned eternal.
The horse said to him,
"Ahead of us looms the palace
"where Youth Without Aging
"and Life Without Death live."
"The palace
is surrounded by a tall forest
"where all the wild animals live."
"Let us go
and may God have pity on us."
They soared into the sky
and saw the palace
shimmering so brightly
that they could not look at it.
On the way past, with the tip of a hoof,
they brushed the treetops.
And suddenly,
the forest came to life.
The feral howls
made their hair stand on end.
Were the lady of the palace
not in the courtyard,
feeding her little ones,
as she called the animals,
they would certainly
have been torn to shreds.
She was so pleased to see them
she saved their lives
for she had never seen humans there.
The lady of the palace
was a tall, attractive fairy.
He told her, "We are looking for
"Youth Without Aging
"and Life Without Death."
"You'll find them here!"
Hice @
br agadir u residence
@ br agadir u residence
He dismounted
and entered the palace.
There, he saw two other women.
The fairy's sisters.
He started by thanking her
for saving his life.
They were so thrilled
that they made a delicious supper.
The three young women
urged him to live with them from now on.
For, as they said,
they'd had enough of solitude.
F t-Frum os agreed there and then.
Gradually, they all grew accustomed
to each other.
And soon,
he married the youngest one.
On their wedding day,
the sisters allowed him
to go wherever he wished
in the vicinity,
except for a valley
that they showed him,
telling him to venture no further
because it would bring bad luck.
They added that the valley was named
the Valley of Tears.
His time in the sisters' company
was without memory.
He did not register time,
since he stayed as young
as when he arrived.
But, one day,
when he was out hunting,
in pursuit of a rabbit,
he let loose an arrow
and missed.
Angrily, he gave chase.
But the poor fellow,
in his confusion,
failed to notice
that in his pursuit of the rabbit,
he had entered the Valley of Tears.
He was returning home,
quarry in hand,
when he was suddenly overwhelmed
by boundless nostalgia for his parents.
He did not dare mention it
to the sisters.
But...
they were alerted by his long face
and the rings under his eyes.
"You wretch,
"you ventured into the Valley of Tears,"
they said in fright.
"Yes.
"Now I am dying to see my parents.
"At the same time,
"I do not have it in my heart
to leave you.
"I shall visit my parents one last time.
"Then I shall return here,
never to leave again."
"Do not leave us.
"Your parents passed away
hundreds of years ago.
"Likewise, if you leave,
"we fear you shall never return."
The young women's prayers
could not appease his violent desire
to see his parents again.
He felt tired to death.
F t-Frum os made preparations
for his journey.
He embraced the women
and left them languishing behind,
with tears in their eyes.
F t-Frum os and his horse
reached the lands
of the witch Gh aeon oai a.
There, they came across towns.
The forests had been turned into fields.
He asked after people he knew,
and wondered
where Gh aeon oai a's lands had gone.
The townspeople answered
that their grandparents had indeed heard
from their own ancestors
such fantastical tales.
"How can this be?" asked F t-Frum os.
I came through here not two days ago.
The townspeople laughed at him,
as if he were delirious.
Upset,
he continued on his way,
oblivious to the fact
his beard and hair had turned white.
He was perplexed.
How could these places have changed
so much in a few days?
And so, he reached his father's kingdom.
There...
were new people
and new towns.
Finally, at the palace
where he came into the world,
seeing the palace in ruins
and overrun by weeds,
he sighed tearfully
and tried to recall the former splendour
of the place.
And the happy days of his childhood.
All he found was a small trunk.
When he raised its lid,
the enfeebled voice of Death
murmured to him,
"Be most welcome, F t-Frum os.
"If you had taken
even a short while longer
"I would myself
have perished eventually."
Saying this,
Death,
which had shrivelled in the trunk,
slapped him.
That slight blow
was enough to kill him.
Immediately after,
he turned to dust.
That's such a sad story.
The years went by so fast
that F t-Frum os
did not see the time go by.
TL
And his parents had died long ago.
23 November
30 November
See that?
He had the face of a fat pig.
Or more like a squirrel.
You think?
How about a fish?
With the eyes...
Of a demon!
You saw them? That man's eyes?
Look, all the Black slaves
they used to have.
These statues,
they're called "mascarpone"
or something like that.
Look there.
Black faces!
See?
Look at the globe.
Was it you
who told Lou en a story about...
a young man who leaves his home...
and he doesn't notice
the passing of time?
Yes.
-It's a Romanian fairytale.
-I see.
There, I told you.
I'd like you to stop
telling him stories like that.
Of course.
Is something wrong?
Two nights running, he cried.
Last night, we had to console him
in our room.
He was scared we'd die. Anyway...
He was badly affected.
I'm sorry.
- There's nothing to be sorry about.
I love the stories you tell.
They're superb.
I'd far rather you tell him those than...
mindless Asterix and Obelix.
With his crappy little dog.
That's the real scary stuff.
Scares the life out of me!
- Take it easy.
- No, it's Obelix!
Yes, all right, fine.
Besides that...
I've forgotten,
I didn't write it down.
You go away on...
the 22nd, right?
22 December?
And you're back when?
- 4 January.
- Yes, that's right.
All right.
The 22nd to the 4th.
Your daughter's well?
Yes, ma'am.
Not very well.
I mean, she misses me.
I understand.
But you'll see her soon.
Yes.
She can't wait.
I can't either.
5 December
Khalil's been deported with his family.
Or is about to be.
How come?
It's my fault.
I posted on our website
about the play's premiere,
with a profile of Khalil.
It was going to be you next week.
I'm really so sorry.
It's not your fault.
How could you know?
What happened?
Mathilde posted
that it was a play performed by amateurs.
And that Khalil had been assaulted.
Beaten up by a customer and so on.
A moron of a student
asked the police
to investigate the matter
and charge the agressors.
He only meant well.
But first of all,
the police checked his papers.
Irregularities were detected,
so they removed him.
He had big problems
we knew nothing about.
I messed up
but I swear I meant no harm.
I was trying to help him.
Of course.
Yes, but fucking hell!
If you'd asked me...
If you hadn't gone it alone,
it wouldn't have happened.
Hold on now,
how was I to know
his papers were problematic?
He told no one, he lied to us.
It never occurred to you to ask.
Just a simple question.
Basically,
you've destroyed our whole concept.
We work with non-professionals
to help them.
With the underprivileged and migrants.
It's community theatre.
Augusto Boal said it.
The aim is not to cause trouble
and get them deported.
It's easy to say that now.
-No kidding.
I hold my hand up and get attacked.
Great community spirit!
A man gets deported and you...
You have an issue
with our community spirit!
Yes, it feels really shitty,
you guys not sharing responsibility.
When I uploaded the post,
everybody read it.
Nobody spoke up.
I was busy,
I just skimmed through it.
Yeah.
So much for the community spirit!
You're all piling on me
and nobody owns it.
Stop yelling at each other, please.
You know, Gian in a,
it could easily have been you.
Me?
No, I have papers, it's all legal.
I'm totally okay,
I came in through an agency.
They can't touch me,
and I'm from an EU country.
Anyway, Khalil, I'm really sorry,
but he had zero accent.
Nothing suggested
his situation was marginal.
Sorry?
There was nothing to show
he wasn't one of us.
There you go,
just like in Faulk en er,
the white black man.
Well...
the question is, what now?
We give up, obviously. "What now?"
Without Khalil, there's no point.
I don't agree.
Our opening night's scheduled.
Leave me be,
I have a chicken to slaughter.
The lady asked me to do it.
Joseph is in charge
of killing chickens, rabbits and ducks.
He kills ducks
using an ancient method from Normandy
that involves
driving a needle into their heads.
He loves to prolong their agony
with sophisticated forms of torture.
He loves to plot and count
and feel in his hands
their death throes.
Their suffering.
Their death!
One time,
I witnessed a duck's death
at Joseph's hands.
One hand clasped its neck.
The other drove a needle in its skull,
in one slow, steady movement.
The animal had freed itself
from Joseph's knee hold.
Its wings kept flapping and flapping.
Even held by Joseph,
it spiral led horribly.
And then, Joseph tossed the animal
on the flags of the kitchen floor,
and elbows propped on knees,
he sat and watched,
with savage joy
and a hideously smug expression,
its convulsions, the frantic scraping
of its feet on the floor.
Finish it off, Joseph!
Kill it outright!
It's horrible to make animals suffer.
It has to suffer!
The more it suffers,
the better the blood tastes.
It amuses me.
I love it.
It was you
who raped little Claire in the woods.
Yes, I'm sure of it now.
It was you!
It was you, you old pig!
14 December
Mummy, look at all the snow!
When I come back from school,
I'll make a snowman!
He'll wait for you.
He won't melt with all that snow.
He'll be the awesomest snowman!
Look!
Fuck it!
Fucking stay there.
Fucking tinsel.
Look at the Santas, my love!
Heaps of them floating around!
16 December
You have to stop that.
Calm down, mummy.
Stop! No!
Stop it! Just calm down!
Respect people.
Stop yelling at them!
What? I already told you...
I told you to stay at home, didn't I?
I don't know,
she needs constant home help.
- Everything okay?
- No, not okay!
Pierre's mother went out and fell.
She was rushed to hospital.
-Oh my God!
She slipped on black ice
and broke her leg.
Come on now.
- Is it serious?
- No, it's not serious.
I cancel the dinner party tonight, right?
- Yeah, sure.
- There we are.
I'll go up and finish...
So I need to call Jean-Baptiste.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
It'll be fine.
I don't want grandma to die.
What are you talking about?
For sure, she'll get better.
Not for sure.
For sure.
Yes, Jean-Baptiste, this is Marie.
Bad time?
Something's come up...
Do you want a story?
It's Pierre's mother.
She tripped and fell, of course.
Yes, sorry, we have to cancel.
18 December
Right here. Hold on, there's a code.
There we go.
Bring my bag!
Bring my bag, will you?
You look like Mishima
after his har a-k iri.
With your bandage.
-I don't give a hoot!
-Can I help?
- No, it's fine.
Who's she?
Sure?
- Yes.
It's all good. We're fine.
There we are, all done.
Here, let me...
Everything's just fine.
Take my slipper off.
Pierre!
How are you, Anne?
Look, mummy...
I'm not very well.
- How can I help?
Here, look...
This one's for up. Look.
The room's not too cold?
There's a remote control, mummy.
Press here, and you go up.
See? And press here...
Yes, my boy, I see.
20 December
POUR
ANG
We have a favour to ask.
A big favour.
You know our skiing holiday's booked
for tomorrow.
We have two options. Either...
we cancel our skiing holiday.
which is a tragedy for Lou en.
He loves skiing.
He waits for it
like it's the 2nd Coming.
Either, we thought,
you could perhaps push back
a little bit your...
I mean...
your trip to Romania
so you're free to look after mummy.
You already looked after seniors?
Yes.
- See, works fine.
That's not it.
It wouldn't be a problem.
But my daughter's expecting me.
I promised to go home.
She's expecting me.
Yes.
We know.
That's why we'll change our return,
to be back on 30 December
instead of 5 January.
But my flight's in two days.
I have a ticket.
Don't worry about a thing.
We'll get one.
So...
you can fly out on 1 January.
5 January
would be just perfect, Gian in a.
No. Please, the 1st at least.
1 January.
I've put it off too long for Maria.
All right.
Please...
31 December, does that work?
To be there for New Year's.
It's important for Maria.
There's only a seat in Business
on the 1st.
Take it?
We'll take it.
But you know you'll get a little extra.
We'll top up your pay.
It's not necessary, thanks.
Sure it is,
it's important to compensate you.
No arguing.
We'll bring your bed down.
It could be easier
to stay in the attic
and ask Madam Anne to call me
when she needs me.
I mean, sleep upstairs.
And come down during the day.
- Perfect.
Here, get this one?
The most expensive but too bad.
All right.
Too bad.
- Buy?
- That's fine.
21 December
It's sad to end up like this,
in nappies!
It's only temporary, the nappies.
Not for long, don't worry.
-It's nothing.
It heals fast.
It's just a broken leg.
You'll be as good as new soon.
-It's next to nothing.
- Stop...
-Please!
-Be gentle.
Stop!
Don't be embarrassed with me.
You know, I'm very experienced.
I was a bad ante.
Is that what you...
Stop it, will you?
- In French, band ante means...
- Yes...
It means, it's like when...
We know.
It's what you call women who give...
men an erection.
I already cared for Alzheimer patients.
I don't have Alzheimer's.
No, of course not.
I was just saying.
You're sweet.
I can tell, you're a sweetie.
We'll get on fine.
Yes!
Yes!
- Just fine.
You're a love.
Mummy, if you had Alzheimer's,
you'd never know.
I wanted to give you a little gift for...
For Christmas,
so you can go shopping, buy clothes...
So...
That's for Christmas.
- Thanks.
- Our little gift.
And this is what we discussed...
For you staying with my mother.
All there. Count it, if you want.
Thank you so very much.
No, I should be thanking you.
And as I on B loy used to say,
who knows if the winner
is the one that gives or takes.
I like to think that I...
I win by giving to you, see?
Yes, sir.
-It's my pleasure.
And little Lou en is delighted by...
He adores your stories.
It's way better
than Asterix and Obelix because...
Obelix is just disgusting
with his fat belly.
It's disgusting!
Whereas your story
about the walking cup-and-ball is...
It's full of joy.
Even if the cup-and-ball breaks
in the end, right?
Is that right? It breaks?
You should change that story.
Change the ending...
Let's say the cup-and-ball
isn't broken at the end,
it's full of joy.
That's a wonderful story
for little Lou en.
23 December
That's lovely, sweetie!
I couldn't find a topper,
but grandma will get
the tinsel from the attic tomorrow.
- It's old, but -
Wow, that red one!
I had that as a kid!
Go back in
before you catch a cold.
Look, grandma's bought firewood.
The house is warmer now!
I know, I sent her the money.
I know.
Well, see?
It's good to have money.
My love, here's the thing...
I'll be a few days late.
What?
Yes, love, their grandma
slipped and fell like an idiot.
I need to stay and wipe her butt.
They're paying me loads.
I don't want that!
You swore you'd come!
You said it yourself! You lied to me!
I didn't, my love. That's life.
Sometimes you do what you must,
not what you want.
What difference does it make if...
You're an idiot and a liar!
Idiot! Go to hell!
Come on, don't be silly.
Mummy will bring you lots of presents!
I promise!
And you can come here in spring.
Mummy will come loaded with gifts,
just like Santa in picture books!
What's wrong with the kid?
I have bad news.
They're working me to the bone.
Their old bat slipped and fell.
I need to stay to wipe her backside.
The poor girl has been
waiting for you like...
I can't help it!
Just reassure her a few more days.
Just a few days.
Fuck that stupid old bat.
Die, you fucking idiot.
Just call me Anne, will you?
No, really.
I can't do it.
How could I do such a thing?
I'm terribly embarrassed.
Don't be.
Hold on, as if you're on a bus,
and lift yourself up.
Exactly.
Lift up your hips. Perfect.
This one person,
an Alzheimer's patient...
I looked after him
until he died tragically.
- I don't have Alzheimer's.
- I know.
God forbid.
Stop saying that.
You attract the forces of evil.
A real bother, the Alzheimer's guy?
No, not at all.
They're the best patients, actually.
There's nothing to do.
They be have like little kids.
Real cuties.
You're very beautiful.
Fuck your stinky ass.
24 December
COMPAN
DIP AN
They're called C lu ari i.
-How amusing.
- Yes, they're fun.
That's Ceausescu's palace?
Yes.
The House of the People.
Casa Pop or ulu i.
You know, I...
RAD
BRA UC
When I was young,
and I'm ashamed to admit it,
my friends and I
loved Ceausescu.
Yes, because he was
with the non-aligned powers and he was...
for Palestine,
against Apartheid...
It was only after the revolution in...
December ' 89.
- Exactly.
It was only after the revolution...
After the revolution in ' 89,
that we realised what a monster he was.
A lot of Romanians
are nostalgic for him.
Me too.
Apparently, he worked
for the good of the people.
People's memories are short.
They forget the shops were empty,
there was no food.
There was no heating.
They forget all that.
So it goes.
Yes, but...
But what?
I have to say, I was...
I was hugely political.
Very politically active when I was young.
Really?
- Really.
I was part of May ' 68.
What was that?
It was a movement
of young people demanding change.
And even today, you can be sure
that what we did was good.
We achieved change.
That's right.
All the good guys were on our side.
There was Sartre, there was Foucault.
It was fabulous.
So...
So...
So...
We went on demos,
we wanted the workers on our side.
We'd left the universities
and we were...
We wanted
to bring the Chinese communist party
to Paris.
Yes, we were Maoists.
- Wonderful.
- Yes.
A TV channel sent a correspondent
to report on...
In Mao's China.
Her name was Marceline...
Marceline Lori dan-Ivens.
- A correspondent?
- I swallowed...
I'm fine.
She was told
to ask the Chinese prime minister,
under Mao,
whose name was Zhou Enlai...
To find out what he thought
of our movement, you see?
10000
40000
When she came back,
10000
she told us his answer.
10000
Which was?
Go back to university!
We wanted to take to the streets
with the workers, you see?
We were...
We were disappointed, you know.
And I was young.
We were idealists.
I'm 80 years old, I have osteoporosis,
my health's going down...
No, you're wearing really well.
Honestly!
Fucking carcass is just fine!
So I'm putting on an act?
Wasn't it...
on Christmas Day that he was...
decapitated?
Ceausescu.
Yes.
25 December, 1989.
1989?
- Yes.
It was...
It was jaw-dropping, wasn't it?
I've only seen it on YouTube.
His wife yelling
at soldiers tying her up,
"My children!
"Don't tie me up!
"You are my children!"
You like acting, don't you?
- I guess.
You want to be an actress?
No.
But madam suggested I act in a play
at the Literature Faculty.
Really?
- Yes.
Can you act out a scene from your play?
Yes.
She was a young woman from Brittany.
Madam came over to talk to her.
"Goodness me!
"How tiny you are!
"Why did you leave home?"
"Because...
"My father beat me.
"My mother beat me.
"Everybody beat me."
"Why did everyone beat you?"
"I don't know.
"In every family,
there's always one girl,
"who is beaten because..."
"How ugly you are, little one!
"If I take you on, it's because...
"I feel sorry for you."
"You see, little one,
this is a unique opportunity
"that won't come along again.
"I am not like all the others.
"I...
"...
"I...
"I am alone.
"I have nobody.
"My family
"is my maid.
"What do I ask of my maid?
"To love me
"To love me
"a little.
"That's all.
"My maid
"lives with me,
"eats with me,
"except for the wine.
"Sleeps with me.
"When I die...
"because I am very old
"and sickly...
"When I die...
"Come closer, little one.
"Goodness me,
what is wrong with you?
"What is that odour of yours?
"So you have corruption in your body?
"So you have cancer in your nose,
"in your stomach perhaps?"
"That...
"is my big failing."
What's this here?
Hey, sweetheart, do you love me?
Sweetheart!
Bitch! Fuck you
and your dirty, rotten cunt!
Why won't you pick up?
Neither you, nor Maria!
What the hell?
I told you I need to talk to her!
Call back right away!
25 December
- What's that?
- A Christmas movie.
Why the fuck don't you answer?
I keep calling.
What?
Come again?
What happened to her?
Just tell me!
Put her on.
Why can't I talk to her?
Put her on the phone!
Okay, I'll come.
My daughter...
Hello, I'm glad you answered.
My daughter,
Maria,
tried to commit suicide
using rat poison.
I have to fly to Romania urgently.
No, she isn't dead but...
It's serious. She's in hospital.
They pumped her stomach.
I'm sorry but I have to go.
She tried to kill herself.
With rat poison.
What? I don't understand a word.
My daughter tried to kill herself
with rat poison.
Rat poison?
Why?
She said she missed me.
I told her I was coming.
I told her I would be
just a bit delayed.
With you, I couldn't just leave.
Why couldn't she wait a few more days?
-How old is she?
- Nine.
How can you be suicidal
aged nine?
How is she now?
You're not lying
about her being fine?
Put her on the phone.
Why won't she?
Tell her there's no reason
to be upset, damn it!
Send me a video of her.
Because I want to see she's all right!
Film her right now!
Little sweetie.
Want to talk to mummy?
Come on, say something!
Your mum wants to see you're all right.
I don't want to.
Why did you do it?
Give her a break.
You want to die?
Don't you know you go to hell
for killing yourself?
Don't tell her off.
Yes, she's completely stupid.
She should have told her off before.
No, don't tell her off at all.
Yes, Mr Donna dieu?
Getting better.
They're taking her home.
Most likely, she's already there.
Yes, I understand but...
I have to go.
I don't know what to say.
It's better if I go.
All right.
I'll send you the birth certificate,
ID and details on WhatsApp.
Yes, I can. They have the signature.
Yes.
No, I'd hate you to pay that much.
My room's fine for all three of us.
Yes.
Just perfect.
Thank you.
Well?
That was Mr Donna dieu.
He says it's very hard
to leave the mountains.
Lou en's crying,
so he came up with another solution.
He'll fly Maria here for a few days
and I'll stay with you.
That's not a bad idea.
Yes, and he's paying for it all.
Yes, it's better that way.
They want to see Bordeaux.
All this time
I've been promising them...
I can't wait to meet them,
your daughter especially.
She's a love.
She's even learned some French.
Little sweetie!