The Dirt Bike Kid (1985) Movie Script

Look, you're a kid, you're no gunner.
I'm the only gunner you got!
We'll return to Superheroes of the Universe
right after this word.
It's summer, summer, summer!
That means the dirt bikes will be flying
fast and furious, a full seven days a week
as motocross madness roars back
to the Mosier Valley Motocross Park.
Come on out, come on out, come on out,
and catch the thrills and spills.
You'll see the big boys busting burns
on their 125cc screamers.
Fighting for thousands
of dollars in cash prizes.
The junior riders, from beginners to experts
will let it all hang out on
their 80cc mean machines,
as they battle each other
for spectacular trophies,
five, count 'em, five feet high!
So pack up the family
and come on out, come on out, come on out,
to Mosier Valley Motocross
Park for a full day of fantastic
fun in the great outdoors.
-Jack, will you get that?
I got my hands full with the bacon.
Tackle the toughest track
to ever test a biker's metal.
Jack, can you get the phone?
And fight it out through the whole shot.
Watch 'em get the rooster jails way in
as they dig their way
through the hairpin turns
one after another.
Hello?
And you like lots of jumps.
-Oh, Miss Clavell.
I've been waiting for you to call.
I've got the interview?
Terrific, um, hold on a minute.
Jack, turn that thing down
and keep an eye on the bacon.
Sorry, Miss Clavell.
No, but I've had similar experience,
when I was the assistant
to the promotional director
of the support systems company,
we had the grand opening
ceremonies at their offices.
It's very similar to what
the bank is gonna want.
Miss Clavell, I'm very sorry,
but could you hold on for just one moment?
You'll never forget.
Come on out, come on out, come on out
to dirt bike heaven.
And catch the thrills and spills.
Fighting for thousands
of dollars in cash prizes.
The junior riders, from beginning to experts,
they'll be letting it all hang out
on their 80cc mean machines,
as they battle each other.
-Give me a sign you're still alive.
-Mom, you just killed the TV.
That's murder.
-Don't you hear the smoke alarm?
I'm really very sorry.
There was just a small emergency.
No, no, no problem, I
can be there in 20 minutes.
Mm-hm.
Bye now.
-You know, Mom, I was just thinking.
-Jack, I don't have time to listen to another
one of your daydreams.
Just toss me the dishcloth and open the door.
Ah!
Jack, tell me something, if
you can't do a simple thing
like keep the bacon from burning,
how do you expect to get through life?
-On an 80cc dirt bike.
It'll take me anywhere I need to go.
-Listen, I finally got a job interview
and I'm gonna need your help.
-Sure, Mom.
-Look, this is our last $50 bill
unless I land this job,
and this is a grocery list,
you think you can do the shopping,
and bring home all the change?
-No problem, Mom.
You know me!
-Yes, yes, I do.
They're spread out all over the racetrack,
that's the 125cc experts are
going through the trophies.
The champagne, the glory, and the gold,
although, not all of them are
old enough for the champagne.
Number 80 right now,
Sal DeLuca, in the lead.
He's starting to left traffic,
look it's DeLuca on the ground, right there.
DeLuca picks it back up,
but he has now been passed by Jeff Freeman,
Mark Davidson, second place
spot and Jimmy Anderson third,
and they're tight together.
No, Henderson battling
with McCormick right now,
for the third place spot.
Bobby McCormick recovers.
-Hey Bo, what's going on?
-Just watching the view.
-Yeah, I'd love to race bikes.
-Who's talking bikes?
Check out those.
25 experts coming down in a battle like--
-It's a proven fact, there's
no bounce to the ounce.
Just a moment.
-The Bo man knows.
Davis right behind him.
Enders in a great battle
for the third place spot,
and McCormick right there
too, looking for the money,
it's checkered flag, and
it's Freeman for the win.
Davis gets second, Enders
third, McCormick fourth place.
-Hey, look, Max has got a bike.
We got just a second here,
we need to call up the 80cc juniors.
All 80cc juniors to the starting line now.
-Hey, Max, get a horse!
Trophies are available
over at the office trailer right now,
so please pick up those trophies.
Second call they tell me right now,
for the 80cc juniors.
-Let's go check out this.
-What'd I give for a bike like that?
-Oh, that bike is special.
-Special?
-Oh, yes, but it needs the
right rider to make it special.
That boy doesn't deserve it.
I'm gonna have to buy it back.
Our starter gate here is set-up,
so that nobody can get the jump.
Watch them all, the gate
goes down, they're on their way!
One of them seems to be stuck.
-All right, Max.
Mad Max is still stuck at the line,
now he gets a launch and
Max is finally underway,
I don't think he's got a chance left.
-Come on, Max, go!
But suddenly, Mad Max is making
a big outside around the corner.
Mad Max does a nose dive on the hill,
Max is in deep trouble
on the top of the hill,
and he's pounding the mess.
Zak Kelton riding like
I haven't seen him ride
in a long time.
Here they come back around,
and Kelton challenges for the lead.
Suddenly, here's Mad max on the red bike.
Mad Max, he flies into the lead!
I can't believe how
that kid is riding it today.
Mad Max.
-Max is gonna win.
What was that?
Max is down in the only
mud puddle in the park today.
Face down in the mud, and
it goes on the win to Turner.
Turner taking the win, Troy Porter second,
John Adams catching the third place spot,
and Zak Kelton ended
up with the fourth place,
but what an afternoon it's been.
-Max.
Max, cool it.
-This damn bike nearly killed me.
-Come on, Max, don't.
-Don't tell me what to do, it's my bike.
-But Max, there's this old man,
and he wants to buy it back.
-Oh, yeah?
Where?
-He's right over there.
Max, he was just there, honest.
-Oh, I'm sure.
Who'd wanna buy this lousy piece of junk?
-I would.
-Ha, with what?
You never have any money.
-Oh, yeah, Max?
What do you call this?
-You think I'd let a great bike like this,
go for a measly $50?
-Max, I thought you said you hated it.
-Are you kidding?
This is the greatest bike I ever drove.
You saw me take those jumps.
-Wait a minute, throw in
the helmet and the bag,
and he'll give you his
$50, plus his BMX bike.
Bo, I--
-It's a deal.
-Bo, wait a minute, come on, I can't.
-Jack, picture it.
Me and you on the bike,
cruising the streets, and think of the girls,
they go crazy over motorcycles,
and you know what that means.
-But Bo, this money is for groceries.
It's our last $50.
-Gentleman, I'm waiting.
-Jack, I know your mom,
and she knows a good deal when she sees one.
She wouldn't want you to pass this one up.
This is the Bo man talking, trust me.
-You what?
-I told you not buy this bike, I told him.
Well, see you later, buddy.
You sure are looking
pretty today, Ms. Simmons.
-Mom, bikes like this
usually cost a lot of money,
but all this one cost me was my BMX bike.
-You traded away your bike?
-Yes, it wouldn't have been fair otherwise.
-Fair?
I can't believe you did this.
Where are the groceries?
-Well, I didn't have any money left
after I bought the bike.
-I can't believe it.
I'm going out breaking my neck,
trying to get a job to make ends meet.
And you're taking our last $50
and trading it in for a
broken down motorcycle
and talking about being fair.
Just go to your room
and stay there until I figure
out what to do with you.
I don't know what its gonna
be, but it's gonna be bad.
Ugh!
-That's okay, fella.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
You know I got this feeling
So peel me off the ceiling
You and me, we got a long, long way to go
The first time I saw you
Not knowing what to call you
Underneath it all, you
know I saw your soul
You get what you go for
Now I'm standing on the edge of love
And I'm touching what
I just been dreaming of
Yeah, standing on the edge of love
And I'm touching what
I just been dreaming of
What's going on?
Would you stop it?
Great, look what you've done.
I'm really in for it now.
Mom's not gonna like this at all.
-Where do you think you're going?
Wait a minute.
Stop it.
-This is unit five, I have a 73-18-14-11,
I'm gonna form a nine, 11, 73.
See if I can't do a six,
one, four, nine, two, eight, B, M, over.
I'm telling you, it was a perfect 72, 40,
right up the fire escape.
Look, you've been smoking.
-Aw, Captain don't say that,
I've haven't taken drugs since high school.
-Wow.
You are something special.
-Well, what do we got here, Big Slime?
-Looks like we've got some kind of a kid.
-Hey, put me down.
-Oh, you got it.
Now, would you look at
this cute little motorcycle?
-That's mine.
-Don't look like much,
let's see how it sounds.
Get off my bike!
-Getting stubborn.
Cut it out!
-How'd I do that?
-Run it, Big Slime!
Look at that, yeah!
-No!
Whoa, whoa.
Look out below!
-Hey, wait, come back here kid, hey, you.
-I'm gonna get you, kid!
What are you doing?
Wow.
Look at that, it's beautiful.
This is great.
Look out!
-Mom, no!
Wait a minute, Mom.
Mom, stop.
Mom, what are you doing?
-Selling the bike.
With a little bit of luck,
I'll get my $50 back.
-Mom, you can't do this.
This bike is special.
-Look, Jack, I'm late.
I don't have time for this.
-Okay, Mom, I will tell you the truth.
The reason you can't sell this bike
is because it's got these amazing powers.
-Will you give me a break?
-But, Mom, it's the truth.
Last night, it took me
on this incredible ride.
And we rode off a fire escape
and then we jumped across roof tops
and then we raced away
from a motorcycle gang.
-Are you on dope?
-Mom!
-I'll see you when I get home.
-But, Mom, its the truth.
-Bye, Jack.
-Mom!
But Mom, I'm not kidding you.
Come on, Mom, please.
Mom!
I don't believe in fairy tales,
I believe in Playboy magazine.
-Yeah, well, that's the
last time I tell you anything.
-Look, I know how much you like that bike,
but you'll get another one sometime.
-Not like that one, Bo.
-Hey, Jack.
New bike rides great.
Thanks for the 50, sucker.
-We're gonna kick your
butts in the game today.
Is that your age or IQ?
-It's a pleasure doing business with you.
-Thanks, Mr. Zak.
-Anytime, Mrs. Simmons.
-Kyle, look alive out there, round the horn.
-Okay, all right, listen up everybody.
It's the big one.
I know they look good out there.
They look great out there.
I know you guys are better, right?
I want you to know that I believe
in every single one of you guys, okay?
What we gotta do?
Gotta pick our pitches, right?
What's the key word?
Hustle!
-Hustle, hustle, hustle.
Hands in everybody.
All right, go get 'em.
Come on!
Hey, Bo.
Jack, boy, I'm glad you guys are here.
Listen, I want you to
remember that nobody can touch
your fast ball, okay?
How's the old wing today, good?
-I'm okay, I guess.
-Okay, you guess?
Is there something the matter, Jack?
-Yeah, I guess so.
You wanna tell me what it is?
-Sure.
-You gotta remember,
you gotta always remember
that when the tough get, uh.
No, no.
When the going gets tough, the, uh--
-The tough get going.
-Yes, yes, thank you.
Okay.
You got it.
Listen, anytime you need to talk to anybody,
you come see me, okay?
-Okay, well thanks, Mike.
-Okay, okay, got it.
Good, good.
-Mike, could I talk to you for a minute?
-Gee, I don't know, Ms. Clavell.
I mean, the game is about to start.
-I found something out at the bank yesterday.
I think you oughta know about it.
Play ball!
-Guess, it'll have to wait.
Okay, guys.
-But it's real--
Come on, guys, let's go, here we go.
-Important.
-Wow, it looks like Hodgkins Bank
is about to cash in another victory.
You're out!
-Hello, Ted!
Ted Harper is a good man
to have behind the plate,
we hold his mortgage.
-Okay, this is it, this is it, this is it.
Last to be, two out.
We need a hit.
Come on, give me your best shot.
Here we go, buddy.
Let's hear it for Jack, come on.
Let's go, Jack.
Here we go, here we go,
here we go, here we go,
get the pitch in.
Come on, here we go,
come on, Jack, come on boy.
Get a pitch in.
Strike one.
-All right, no sweat.
Okay, Jack, good swing, good swing.
-Your swing's about as rusty
as that old bike I sold you.
-Bo, it's my bike.
-Throw it in.
Throw the ball in.
-You're out!
Come on, he blocked the plate.
Hey, come on, you little runt.
I'm gonna throw the whole plate on you.
Come here, you little runt, come on.
Jack!
-All right, wait, hold it, hold it.
Alright, alright, come on.
He was safe, he had safe.
Safe, did you see that?
Listen, he dropped the ball,
he pinned him down, that's not fair.
Come on, Ms. Clavell, you saw what happened.
Tell him what happened, go ahead, come on.
-I didn't get a good view of the play.
-I said he was out.
This game's over.
-Wasn't even close.
-Well, Bo, what do you think?
-This is the bike you bought?
-It sure is.
Isn't it great?
-But I thought your mom sold it.
-I did too.
I guess she just must have changed her mind
and then left it here as a surprise.
-Mothers can be so bizarre.
-They sure can.
How would you like to go for a ride, Bo?
-All right.
-Hop on.
-Max.
Yes, sir?
-If you persist in this poor sportsmanship,
this under handed behavior,
you'll make a superb bank executive someday.
Ah!
-Boy, that rides great.
It's a terrific bike.
-Thanks.
-I want to have one.
-Come on, Bo, the food fight's starting.
-Wait a second.
Hey girls, wanna see my bike?
-Your bike?
I thought it was Jack's.
-No, I was just letting him drive it.
-Well, how bout taking me for a ride?
-Sure.
-Whoa.
-Mike, will you please let me explain
the bank's position on this?
Mr. Hodgkins and the board--
-Ah, missed me.
All right, this one's for you Hodgkins.
Come on, come on, huh?
One for good luck.
All right, all right.
All right, everybody out here right now.
Let's go, everybody, get moving, come on.
Come on.
Damn.
What's his problem?
-Mike, I just--
-What's the matter, Mike?
I've never seen you so steamed.
-Why don't you ask
Mr. Hodgkins' personal assistant?
-Comprehensive analysis
made by the bank's computer
selected this site as the
location for the new bank.
Mr. Hodgkins' has given
Mike one week to vacate
before they tear down the Dog House.
But I'm sure Mike will be able--
-You're sure Mike will what?
Go on, Ms. Clavell, what?
Don't you understand?
Don't you and your computer
understand I'm about to
lose everything in my life,
everything I've worked for?
Or don't things like that compute
in your comprehensive analysis, huh?
-I'm sorry.
-Mike, you can't let them get away with this.
-Yeah, you've gotta fight it.
-I don't know, guys.
I mean, when the bank
says you're out, you're out.
That's it.
-Ms. Clavell, can't you do something?
-There isn't anything I can do.
-But if you kick Mike out of the Dog House,
then what will he do?
-Where are we gonna hang out, Al's Grill?
-Can't you stop them?
-I'm just an employee, Jack.
I'm not the boss.
-What are you doing?
Stop it.
I'm really sorry, Ms. Clavell.
-It's okay, I just wish there
was something I could do.
We aren't gonna let this happen to Mike.
Now, we've gotta do something.
-What?
I don't know.
-My little Hodgkins,
I'll barbecue the first
pigeon that touches you.
-Yes?
-Mr. Hodgkins, shall I
send in the next applicant?
-Yes.
-Janet Simmons, Mr. Hodgkins.
-What a pleasure.
-It's nice to meet you.
-She's got excellent credentials.
-Yes, I see that.
Please.
Hey.
-Well, I don't see any reason
why I can't start tomorrow.
-Oh, that's wonderful.
Ms. Simmons, Janet.
You certainly have all the qualifications
to be a Hodgkins girl.
-Thank you, Mr. Hodgkins.
-Hey, here's an idea.
Why don't we start by taking
a dinner meeting at my house?
-Oh, well.
-Let's just seal our little
deal with a little toast.
God, what in God's name are you doing?
-Mom.
-This is your son?
-Well, he looks vaguely familiar.
Jack, what are you doing?
-I don't know.
-What you do mean you don't know?
-Excuse me.
-Mom, the bike brought me here.
-Jack, if you took this
bike from Mr. Zak's shop--
-Excuse me.
-Mom, I swear, I didn't.
-Excuse me, just one second.
What are we doing with
a motorcycle in my office?
-How come you're throwing
Mike out of his store?
That's a real slimy thing to do.
-Guard!
-Jack, you've gotta take this
motorcycle back to Mr. Zak.
It's his now.
-I tried to stop him, Mr. Hodgkins.
-Take Evel Knievel and
bounce him the hell out of here.
My bank!
My statue!
-Oh, Jack.
Oh, Mr. Hodgkins, I really am very sorry.
-Get out.
-Hey, hey you, get out
of here you little brat kid.
-And stay out!
-He killed my little Hodgkins.
-I'm sorry, but I don't wanna do this either.
But I've gotta take you back.
I have to do what mom says.
-I'll never get caught up, these kids today,
you just can't depend on them.
Be right with you, lady.
-Mr. Zak?
I've gotta bring back my bike.
-I'll give you 50 bucks for it.
Take it or leave it.
-But you already own it.
-Oh well, that's different then.
Let me have it then.
Out of the way, I gotta get this.
I can't get anybody to
help me and I'm way behind.
Be with you, just a moment lady.
Just can't depend on them anymore.
-I just can't leave you here, buddy.
I've gotta do something.
Excuse me, Mr. Zak?
-You still standing around?
-I wanna buy back the bike.
-Make me an offer, that's my business.
-How about $50?
-Sold.
-There's only one thing though.
-Yeah?
-I don't have any money.
-Oh, well, you come back when you do.
-Wait, maybe I can work off the $50.
I could answer the
phone, or I could clean up,
or I could even do deliveries for you.
Please, Mr. Zak, I could be a big help.
-It's a deal.
-You take this up to 674.
I'll meet you across the street.
Mom, I did take the bike back.
-Then what is it doing here?
-Mr. Zak said I could earn the bike back
if I did deliveries for him.
-And I can call Mr. Zak,
and he'll confirm this?
-Right.
-Oh, Jack.
I don't know if I want this bike around.
You've been acting weird
ever since you've got it.
-Mom, I promise, I won't
cause anymore trouble.
-Why did you barge into
Mr. Hodgkins's office like that?
-Because he's kicking Mike out of the store
and that isn't fair.
-But you don't just blast
into someone's office like that.
You make an appointment, you talk to them,
you go through the system.
-Mom, from now on, I will.
And I swear, I won't cause anymore trouble.
Mom, I'm really sorry
about costing you that job.
Really, I am.
-It doesn't matter.
I don't think I could've lasted
very long with Mr. Hodgkins anyway.
He wasn't interested in my abilities.
-What was he interested in?
-Nevermind.
-Oh, that.
Then I can keep the bike?
-No more trouble?
-Oh, you're the best mom in the world,
and I'm gonna be the best kid.
Yeah.
-Come on, if we're gonna talk to Hodgkins,
we've gotta come here.
Come on, stop fighting me, okay?
Try things my way.
Why do you always have to go on
and head on into the things?
We should do what Mom says
and go through the systems.
Now, this is the right way of doing things.
Trust me.
Stay here and keep out of trouble.
I'll be right back.
Stay here.
-It started with a piggy bank for Christmas,
then my own subscription
to The Wall Street Journal,
my first rental property,
my first foreclosure,
and the rest is financial history.
But so what if bank presidents
are fabulously wealthy?
We need love, just like ordinary men.
-There's someone at the door.
-You.
-Hello, Mr. Hodgkins.
-Well, I can see you two
have got a lot to talk about
so I'll just be running along.
-Good dog.
Now back off, Scrooge, she's mine.
Why don't you select a nice
whine for dinner, ma cheri?
And as for you, what you did the other--
-Please, Mr. Hodgkins.
I just came over here
to say that I'm very sorry
for driving into your office and everything.
-I see.
Well, I suppose it takes a big man
to admit that he was wrong.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm in the middle of a very
important business conference.
-Oh, wait.
One more thing Mr. Hodgkins,
I was just wondering, if
maybe you could do something
to help Mike save the Dog House?
-Little boy, the decision to evict,
Mike, was made by the board of directors.
There's a impertinent
Beaujolais in the cabinet,
-I'm having a hard time choosing.
-Bye bye.
-Mr. Hodgkins, do you think that maybe
I can go and speak with
the board of directors?
-Yes, of course, anything you say.
Goodbye.
-When is the next meeting?
-Tomorrow, great seeing you,
I'm sure you'll make a
fine citizen if you grow up.
-Can I go and speak with them tomorrow?
-Dandy, fine and dandy, goodbye.
Who's that knocking at your door
Who's that knocking at your door
Who's that
At your door
Just a love sick president
Did you choose a wine, my...
Damn.
That's the second one today.
I've gotta put bars on these windows.
-Come on now, you're just jealous
because I've got a meeting
with the board of directors.
I told you Mom was right.
It works every time if
you go through the system.
Oh, what's the matter with you?
Don't be a nerd.
Oh, I guess I've hurt your feelings now.
Well, I'm not gonna take it back.
You've got to learn to
do things the right way.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Come on!
Come on, let's get out of here.
-I told you I was gon'
get you, didn't I, kid?
You're gonna get me slaughtered.
-Oh, what's the matter?
Is your bike busted?
Look, I'm very sorry
and I promise, I'll never call
you a nerd again, I swear.
-How does he do that?
-Well, that's wonderful, Harriett.
You must be very proud of Riley.
Well, I'm sure he's gonna
make a very fine milk monitor.
Oh, Jack's really coming around.
We had a very productive talk.
Very productive, excuse me, Harriett.
Jack, where are going in that suit?
-There's no time to talk, Mom.
I've got a meeting with the
board of directors at the bank.
-The board of directors at the...
Jack!
A board of directors at the bank?
Oh my God, Janet, you must be so proud.
-Gentlemen.
Gentlemen, it's about time
for that press conference I
called, so let's get this little
matter of the softball team out of the way.
Now, I've already given you my opinion,
so let's put it to a vote.
-Go, get them, RJ!
-All those in favor of allowing women
on the bank's softball team, say aye.
Those opposed?
Nay!
-Ah, so, it's bye bye, bimbos.
-You're beautiful, RJ.
-Yes?
-Excuse me, Mr. Hodgkins,
Jack Simmons is here.
He says he has an appointment with the board.
-Simmons?
No, I never heard of him.
-Well, you know Jack, Mr. Hodgkins.
He's--
-Don't contradict me, Ms. Clavell.
Now, tell him to run along.
Send those reporters in now.
-But I--
-Now.
Don't tilt it.
Keep it neat, keep it neat.
Good, good, good, get out, get out.
Welcome!
Ladies and gentlemen, please, come in.
Gather around, don't be shy,
the best seats are up front.
-Believe me, Jack, I did the best I could.
I don't know what to say, Mike.
I'm sorry.
-Yeah, I know you're sorry,
I'm sorry, everybody's sorry.
That doesn't do me much good though, does it?
-He told me that I could see
the board of directors, Mike.
He lied to me, he just plain lied.
-I know, what else is new, huh?
I guess being a rebel
is the only way to get
things done around here.
-What?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing?
Look out!
-Thank you, a it gives
me chills just to think of it.
So, today, I have a very
exciting announcement to make.
I thought I told you to stay out!
-Dear friends of the press,
I humbly present the new Hodgkins Bank.
-You.
You.
-I'm very sorry, Mr. Hodgkins,
but I did have an appointment.
-Hodgkins, what's this all about?
Yes, Mr. Hodgkins.
Tell us the story.
Yeah, people wanna know, Hodgkins.
Yeah, exactly.
-Just a little entertainment
for you hard working
folks of the fourth estate.
Hey, who says press
conferences have to be dull?
There's no business like bank business.
Yes, sir!
-Yeah, but what about Mike's Dog House?
-Come on, let's talk.
-What's going on?
What's going on?
Is Jack in there?
Is he all right?
-He's fine, the board's listening to him.
-They're listening to him?
-That's a good sign.
-Come on, Ms. Clavell, you don't really think
Jack's gonna change anybody's mind, do you?
-That's possible.
-Yeah, via wave of a magic wand, maybe.
-What's the matter, you
don't believe in magic?
-Maybe I used to,
but not anymore.
-We did it, Mike, the Dog House is saved.
-What's he talking about?
-Well, young Jack here has
convinced me, and the board,
that before the bank destroys
so beloved an institution as--
-Mike's Dog House.
-Your Dog House,
that it had been pretty darn
sure it knows what it's doing.
-You mean, I can--
-Mike, you have my personal assurance
that the board of directors
will do everything it can
to find an alternative
site for our new branch.
I've already ordered our
computer to start the search.
-That Hodgkins is a hell of a guy.
-Oh, thank you.
Come on.
God bless you, thank you.
Thank you so much, thank you.
-Gee, I don't know what to say.
-Now do you believe in magic?
-Well, yeah, I mean now.
Hey, Jack.
-Shh.
I'd like to say that the Dog House
would have gone down the tubes
if weren't for my good
friend, Jack, right here, huh?
Let's hear it!
We want Jack.
We want Jack!
We want Jack!
We want Jack!
-I know that kid.
-Oh yeah?
-Yeah, he's a jerk.
We want Jack!
We want Jack!
We want Jack!
-This is the greatest moment of my life.
Aw.
-Come on.
Well, first of all, I would
like to thank my mother
who has been so
supportive through all of this.
-All right!
-So, it's your mom, huh?
-And also, I'd like to
thank my best friend, Bo.
All right, Bo.
-Oh yeah, and I would also like to thank Max,
for being nice enough to sell me this bike,
which has made it all possible.
All right!
-Get the blueprints for the building.
Look alive!
A little higher, a little higher.
-What's going on, Mike?
-Bank foreclosed.
Hodgkins says they're gonna start
tearing it down noon tomorrow.
-Mr. Hodgkins.
Mr. Hodgkins, you can't do this.
You promised me that you wouldn't.
-What I said, was that I
would explore alternate sites.
I did, and gosh, there just aren't any.
-But how do you know that for sure?
-It was all done by computer,
and our data shows, beyond a doubt,
this is the ideal location
for our new branch.
Right, Ms. Clavell?
-Yes, sir.
That's what the print out
you showed to the board said.
-But it could've made a mistake.
How about letting me look
at the bank's computers?
-You?
-I got an A in computer science,
and maybe I can find
something that you guys missed.
Please, Mr. Hodgkins.
-Look, look, sonny,
I'm sure you're a real wiz kid,
but I programmed the computer myself
so there can't be a mistake.
Now, run along home
before I make you part of the foundation.
You keep this piece of junk away from me
before I have it demolished.
-But you can't tear down Mike's store!
-Don't take it so hard, Jack.
You did the best you could.
-Yeah, in this life,
I guess you just gotta know when to quit.
Not me.
-What a great day for
Mrs. Hodgkins's baby boy.
Ms. Clavell, come here.
Take my picture.
Hey, hey, what are you doing?
Come back here, you little runt.
-Officer, arrest that punk!
-Yes, sir.
This is unit seven.
I'm on a nine, 11 with a kid 40 the bank
on his left one niner, now
he just 360, a 592, over.
Harvey, you wanna get your patrol car back,
catch that kid.
-Roger, chief.
Whoa!
-Three, 18, seven, 14, 11.
I'm gonna perform a nine, 11, seven, three.
See if I can't six, one,
four, nine, eight, two,
ABM, over.
Wow.
Whoo!
-Chief, this is Flaherty.
I lost the kid.
-Where the hell are you, Flaherty?
-Well, I'm a, actually,
I'm on top of a truck.
-Take my advice, Flaherty.
Stay there.
-Okay.
Wow, lets go downtown.
Woo!
All right.
Wow.
We're going right over Hodgkins Bank.
Oh man.
Whoa, this is great.
Uh-oh, where are we gonna land?
Woo, hoo-hoo!
-Hi, honey.
How you doing?
Oh fine, thanks, Mom.
Sorry that I'm late.
-That's okay.
What have you been up to?
-Oh, I was just busy.
-Busy?
-Yeah.
-Doing what?
-Wasn't any big deal.
-It wasn't?
What wasn't?
-What I was doing.
-Oh.
The bike, Chief, arrest it.
-Flaherty.
No, not my bike.
-You can't just come in here
and take his bike away like this.
-Show her the warrant, Chief.
Your juvenile delinquent son
almost destroyed the bank's
construction trailer
today with his damn bike.
-He lied to me about
tearing down Mike's place.
-Until that eye sore is obliterated tomorrow,
I want that mechanical
menace degassed, de-oiled,
debilitated and locked up.
-The bike will be at the city jail, ma'am.
The bail will be 100
bucks if you want it back.
-But I'll never have that kind of money.
-And if you don't want
your little boy locked up too,
you'd better keep him away
from the construction site.
-Don't worry, he won't come near it.
-Mom.
-Ah, don't say anything, I won't either.
Honey, your dinner's on
the table, don't let it get cold.
Look, I gotta go to a late job interview.
I'll be back in a couple hours.
-No!
Hello?
Yes, this is Jack.
What?
Yes, sir, I can be there in 10 minutes.
Hi, I'm Jack Simmons and somebody said
that I could get my bike back.
-It's down the hall.
Just make sure you keep it out of trouble.
Okay, Joe, you can cut it loose.
-Gosh, I really never
thought I'd see you again.
-I see you got your friend back.
-Mike, it was you?
I don't know how I'll do it,
but I'll try to pay you back someday, really.
-Hold on, hold on, I didn't spring your bike.
-Well, then who did?
-Ms. Clavell, you?
-I can't stop him from
taking Mike's hotdog store,
but I can stop him from taking your bike.
Be sure you take it straight home.
-I'm already there.
You're the best, Ms. Clavell.
-You know you are.
How about if I buy you a cup of coffee.
-I'd love it.
-Yeah, okay.
-Hey, home's the other way.
Stop it, stop it!
You wanna go back to jail?
Don't, don't!
Now we're in for it.
What the heck's the matter with you?
You don't understand that
this isn't gonna do any good.
All they're gonna do is put a new fence,
and then rip down Mike's place,
and the only thing you can
do is get me in a lot of trouble.
Oh, come on, let's get out of here.
Where do you think you're going?
Come on now, I don't wanna play games.
Get over here, right now.
That's more like it, buddy.
Come on, let's go home.
Hey!
Go on, take off, see if I care.
You're nothing but trouble anyway.
I don't want you anymore.
You hear me?
I don't want you!
-Oh boy, am I pooped.
Jack.
I know you miss the bike, but you gotta eat.
-I don't miss that bike.
I hate that bike.
I don't ever wanna see it again.
I don't wanna talk about it.
-Jack, honey.
First, he loves the bike
and now he hates the bike.
I don't know.
Honey?
-Hell hath no wrath like
Hodgkins when he's pissed off.
That little monster will pay
for all of this, with interest.
-Mr. Hodgkins.
-I want that bike confiscated for life.
-We're doing the best we can, Mr. Hodgkins.
-Well, you better do better than that
because I don't want any problems
at my groundbreaking tomorrow.
Do you read me, Chief?
-Loud and clear, Mr. Hodgkins.
-Jack, the police are
on the phone and they...
-Chief, are you telling
me an entire police force
can't find one miserable
little kid on a dirt bike?
-No, I said,
itt's just a matter of time, Mr. Hodgkins.
We'll find him.
-Now you listen to me, you keystone cop,
if that kid disrupts my
demolition party tomorrow,
I'll use your loan application
to line my bird cage.
-Flaherty, you moron, have you found him yet?
I never thought I'd be sneaking into school.
Usually, I'm trying to sneak out.
-You know, it wouldn't be so bad,
except I don't have anything else.
-Believe me, Mike.
You've got a lot of friends in this town.
We owe you something for
what you've done with those kids.
We're not gonna let you down.
-Sounds like you're talking magic again.
-Why not?
I've seen you work magic.
What about the spirit you put in those kids.
You never let them quit.
-Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I am quitting, aren't I?
What?
When the tough, no, no,
when the going gets tough, the--
-The tough get going.
-It's not over until it's over.
I mean, it's not the size
of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
This fight isn't over yet.
I gotta believe what I been
telling these kids all along.
-Now you're talking.
What are you gonna do?
-What I'm gonna do?
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
I'm going to Hodgkins little shindig here
and if I'm going down,
I'm going down in style.
-Oh, Mike, I'm so proud of you.
-Ms. Clavell.
-You can call me Maisie.
-Maisie.
-I don't understand why you had to come
all the way over here to
use the school's computer,
when you've got one at home.
-Because there's no way that I could tap
into the bank's computers with mine.
Hey, Bo, look!
-You did it!
You tapped into the bank's computer.
What do we do next?
-Okay, now, we have to find the password,
so we can get into the file
to figure out what makes
him so sure Mike's place
is the best place to build the new bank.
-Sounds easy.
-Now, what would Hodgkins use for a password?
-How about greedy?
-Pull over.
Any sign of him, Max?
-No, not yet, sir.
-Find him, Max, or say bye
bye to your pretty new bike.
-You've got nothing to worry about, sir.
Several of my friends are
assisting me in my search.
-Oh, Max, what a comforting thought,
but if the whole police
department can't find him,
I think it's gonna take a little more
than a few of your prepubescent friends.
-Well, that sounds like them, now.
Mr. Hodgkins, I'd like to
introduce you to Big Slime.
He hates Jack, too.
So, you're Hodgkins, huh?
-Yes.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Slime,
Big Mr. Slime, Mr. Big Slime.
-You know, Max told us about you, Hodgkins.
-Oh?
-Yeah, you're my kind of guy.
-Thank you.
-All right, let's nail this kid.
-Good hunting.
Check out that river road.
-This used to be such a nice town
to jack up interest rates in.
All right!
-Got you!
Shut up and spread
them, you two-wheel bandit.
Flaherty, over.
-Roger, Flaherty.
-Let me speak to the chief.
-This is the chief, you idiot.
-Hi, chief.
Listen, I'm three-niner in a Y, Z, 80.
-Dammit Flaherty, will you speak English?
-I've got the bike Hodgkins wants.
-No foul ups, Flaherty, you hear me?
You bring that bike in.
-Roger, chief.
Oh, hey, no.
Hey!
-It just doesn't make sense, Bo.
Bo?
Bo?
Hey, pee-wee.
Look, there's no good reason
why they had pick Mike's place
to put the new bank.
In fact, these other sites look a lot better.
Why would Hodgkins want to build his bank
on the Dog House land?
-Do you realize I have
access to all the accounts
at Hodgkins Bank right here in front of me?
-Hey, Bo, be careful.
You didn't do too well in computer class.
-I might've gotten a D in computer class,
but I know how to break into a bank.
-This just doesn't make sense.
-Let's check out my account.
Robert Krocaboom.
39 cents?
I know I had at least 50.
There.
I think I'll give ol' Widow
White a million bucks.
-Bo, would you cool it?
-Why not?
Every morning, the Widow
White goes to the bank,
and checks to see if it still has her money.
Why don't I give her a surprise?
-It just doesn't make sense.
What does Hodgkins got to
gain by building on Mike's site?
-Well, let's just see how
much ol' Hodgkins has got.
-Great idea.
-Hodgkins here.
-Oh Mr. Hodgkins, you'll be pleased to know
we got the kid's bike.
It won't be bothering you anymore.
-Good work, Chief.
I'm on my way to the office now.
Oh, Chief,
if you're telling me the truth,
your little loan is as safe
as money in the bank.
-Gosh, you'd think the richest man in town
would have more money than that?
-It's like we both have case flow problems.
I wanna know what this other number means.
No wonder he wants Mike out of there.
Why?
-See this, it's right here.
Hodgkins Bank is paying
Hodgkins realty for the land.
-So?
-So that greedy bum
Hodgkins has tricked the board
of directors at the bank
into buying the land from him,
and so, that's the reason it's gotta be built
in that exact spot.
-Well, that really sucks.
-It sure does.
Let's get a print out.
-Chief!
Chief.
Officer, Chief.
Help me!
I can't stop this thing.
It's resisting arrest.
Chief!
Come on, stop.
Chief!
Oh, ow.
-Flaherty, you moron!
Bum da da dum bop
Who's gonna be so filthy rich
Hodgkins, Hodgkins
Who cares that he's a son of a
-What's going on here?
-Widow White is withdrawing a million dollars
from the bank.
-She doesn't have a million dollars.
-The computer says she does.
I've checked it a dozen times.
-Widow White, excuse me, Widow White,
can we take care of this tomorrow?
I have to get to my groundbreaking
ceremony this afternoon.
-I want my money now, fish face.
-Ms. Clavell?
Yes?
-Ms. Clavell, handle this
Widow White situation.
-No, I won't.
-You won't?
What do you mean you won't?
-I'm tired of doing your dirty work.
You do it yourself.
-Me?
my little underling.
That's why I hired you.
-I know, and I find you totally insensitive
and completely contemptible.
-Shh, shh.
Be careful, Clavell.
You think you're irreplaceable?
A trained kangaroo could do your job.
-If you're thinking of
firing me, it's too late
because I already quit.
And another thing, don't
call me a kangaroo, you pig!
-Ow.
What's happening here?
Don't hit me.
-All right now, go and
tell Michael what we found,
I gotta pay a visit to Hodgkins.
-Okay.
-Okay.
-Good to see you again, kid.
I've been looking forward
to jumping up and down on your face.
Hodgkins!
Hodgkins!
Give me a H!
H!
Give me an O!
-Bite his nose off, Big Slime, huh?
-Yeah, that'd be cool.
-No, I think I'm gon' set him on fire.
Ooh.
Get that kid, get that kid.
Come on, let's go get him.
Come on, move out, come on.
-Hodgkins says he wants his dozer rigged
so he can push the
button on this place himself.
What Hodgkins wants, Hodgkins gets.
-Mr. Hodgkins, there's
been a little complication
with that bike.
It seems we don't
actually have it in custody.
-Chief, I'm on my way to
the ceremonies right now.
If that kid or bike get within
a mile of that Dog House,
you'll live out your days
as a school crossing guard in Alaska.
Do you like blubber?
-I want that bike found now.
Who's the richest man in town
I am, I am
Am I move that Dog House down
You bet your ass I am
Lock it up, it's not paid for.
Mr. Hodgkins.
-You'd better be ready for anything, Nanook.
-But uh...
Flaherty, this is your last chance.
Now, you stick close to
Hodgkins and don't you screw it up.
Hi, pee-wee!
-Bo, where's Jack?
I've been all night looking for him.
-Gosh, I don't know, Ms. Simmons.
Gee, I love your new hairstyle.
Is that new wave?
Whoa!
How does he do that?
-Get ready for Mike's last stand.
I may not win,
but I'm going down with my hotdogs flying.
-Yee-haw!
-Mr. Hodgkins, this one starts the bulldozer
and this one stops it.
-Yes, thank you, I can read.
Now, get off, so I can
get this show on the road.
Chief!
Thank you very much.
I love you.
Ladies and gentlemen, fellow depositors,
and faithful members of
the Hodgkins team, welcome.
Thank you.
Now, I know how much you've
all been gleefully
anticipating this great day,
the start of construction on our new bank.
Now, it's my pleasure and my honor today
to be able to press this little button,
and begin destruction of an eye sore
that's been a thorn in my side--
Save Mike's Dog House, down with Hodgkins.
Save Mike's dog House, down with Hodgkins.
Save Mike's Dog House, down with Hodgkins.
-Chief, do something.
-This is America.
They're allowed to protest.
That's how we got rid of the British.
Down with Hodgkins, save Mike's Dog House.
-Ladies and gentlemen,
pay no attention to this riff-raff.
I hereby declare the start of--
Save Mike's Dog House, down with Hodgkins.
Save Mike's Dog House, down with Hodgkins.
-Flaherty, do something.
-Okay, what?
-Somebody, do something.
No, not a pie, you fool.
Down with Hodgkins, save Mike's Dog House.
-You rat, he's not a banker.
I'll spank your bottom!
I see you, Mike.
Mike!
Bye bye, Dog House.
-Come on, come on.
-Come on, you can do it, come on!
Go, go, go!
-Stop it, stop it.
Put it down, put that pie down.
You respect your elders.
Good boy.
You take care of the
dozer, I'll handle Hodgkins.
Excuse me, Mr. Hodgkins,
we better have a talk.
-I have nothing to say to
you, you juvenile delinquent.
-Hey, that's my son you're pushing around.
-I warned you at your house, blondie.
-Yeah, you were a jerk then, too.
All right, Mom.
Let's go to the Motion Valley track.
Come on, Maisie, let's go.
-This is not legal.
-Stop this bike.
Not until you listen to what I have to say.
-I will listen to nothing.
-This is Flaherty, Chief.
I'm on 11, 13, four, and I'm in pursuit,
headed towards route 12, I think.
-That's nothing, I got
Hodgkins on the kid's motorcycle
on route five, I'm gonna
cut him off on route 10.
-Oh God, I hate you.
-Faster, Mike, faster.
-Geez, you're an animal.
-Be an animal, Mike, be an animal!
Yee-haw!
-I got him now.
Flaherty, why the hell didn't you tell me
they closed the cut-off to route 10?
-You never asked me, Chief.
-Mmm.
-Let me off this bike!
Not unless you agree to my plan.
-I'm a banker, I refuse
to count on a little boy.
Well, this little boy knows
that you're the one making money
in the bank's new building.
-How did you find that out?
From the bank's computers.
I've got all the information on a printout.
-I won't be blackmailed.
-Oh, no way.
I'll give you that.
Oh, please look out.
I'm getting out of this business.
-All right, all right, you've had your fun.
Now, I order you to pull over and debike.
First, you have to agree to my plan.
-I won't be intimidated by a punk like you.
All right, all right, what do you want?
I want you take some of your money
and help save Mike's Dog House.
-Help save Mike's Dog House?
That sucks!
Suddenly, there's a guy packing double
on the middle of the race course.
Can you freaking see that?
I don't know if you can see it.
-All right, all right, I'll do it.
Just one more thing.
-Are you out of your mind?
Never.
This bike shouldn't even be out on.
Look out, over the jump!
-Whoa!
Anything, anything,
just get me off this bike.
There you go, Mr. Hodgkins, safe and sound.
-Thank God.
I'm wet!
It seem that Mr. Hodgkins
has changed his mind about the Dog House.
Right, Mr. Hodgkins?
-Whatever you say,
just get me out of here.
That stick is moving.
Help!
-Hey, you're missing all the fun.
You've gotta see this.
What's the matter?
This is what we've been working for.
Wait, don't go.
-Jack, what's wrong?
-It's my bike, Mom, all the magic's gone.
-Well, honey, I know this
bike is really special to you.
-It sure is.
But Mom, I was just thinking, if it is gone,
then I guess that's because
I have my own magic
that's working for me now.
-Well, your dad used to
say that we all have a little bit
of magic hidden inside of us.
It's just that sometimes,
it takes someone special
to help us find it.
-And that's what my bike did for me, right?
-And that's what you do for me.
-Oh, thanks, Mom.
-You know what the best part of it is?
Once you find that magic, no--
-Yeah, I know, nobody else
can take it away from me.
-That's right.
-Hey, welcome to the grand opening.
Welcome, welcome.
Hi, Janet.
-Hi, Mike!
-Boy, you really did a terrific job
arranging for the grand opening.
-Aw, thanks.
Must be doing something right,
I got more new clients than I can handle.
-Great, great.
-Listen, you wanna go inside and see
how we used all your ideas?
-Oh, I'd love to.
-Great.
I'll show you.
-Bye, guys.
Okay.
-Oh, Jack, join us later
for some dogs and shakes.
-Hey, Maisie, get ready for our first tour.
-Congratulations, both of you.
-Thank you.
-You better hurry up, Mr. Hodgkins,
it's almost time to cut the ribbon.
I'm not coming out.
-Mr. Hodgkins, we can't start
the ceremonies without you.
I'm not coming out.
-Remember our little agreement, Mr. Hodgkins?
-Okay, put that away.
All right, all right.
I'm coming out.
Happy?
-Wow, I sure would love
to have a bike like this.
-This is a very special bike, you know.
-Really?
-Well, provided it has the right rider.
-Boy.
-No, no, no, no.
-Mr. Hodgkins, we have a deal.
-On behalf of all the kids in town,
it is my great pleasure to reopen officially
Mike's Dog House.
And the new Hodgkins Bank.
What a brilliant idea.
Thanks, I'm really glad you like it.
-Mr. Hodgkins, everything is 100% secure
in the new bank, sir, boss.
-You are such a weenie.
-I'm sorry to be late my first day
of telling, Mr. Hodgkins.
-Just see that it doesn't
happen again, Arthur.
Oh, Arthur.
-You know what?
I believe in you.
-Come on, Walrus, think
this is air conditioned?
Open the door.
Go away!
Stay away from me, stay away!
Please, don't hurt me.
-Jack, your bike.
-That's okay, Mom, it's
where it's supposed to be.
---oOo---
You know I got this feeling
So peel me off the ceiling
You and me, we got a long, long way to go
The first time I saw you
Not knowing what to call you
Underneath it all, I know I saw your soul
You get what you go for
I'm standing on the edge of love
And I'm touching what
I just been dreaming of
Yeah, standing on the edge of love
And I'm touching what
I just been dreaming of
When I woke up this morning
I know I had a warning
That by the sea
And you'd be here with me
Don't mean to be no superman
Don't mean to be no one man band
To hold the real thing
in your hand, you see
You get what you go for
Now I'm standing on the edge of love
And I'm touching what
I've just been dreaming of