The Disaster Artist (2017) Movie Script

If you were to ask the five
best filmmakers in
the world right now
to make a movie like this...
it wouldn't even be
in the same universe.
I was blown away.
Like, like three minutes into it,
I figure this is
the fucking greatest movie
I've ever seen in my life.
It has withstood, like
ten years?
And people are still watching a
movie and talking about a movie.
People aren't doing that about
whatever won the Oscar for
best picture ten years ago.
What genius is behind this?
Tommy wanted to break
Tommy wanted to break
barriers in filmmaking.
I think that he had a
very clear vision.
He is a figure of mystery
where, you know,
you do wanna learn
more about him.
Who is this man?
Who is this auteur?
The kind of sheer ambition of it...
is in-incredible.
The numbers probably prove
how unlikely it is
that you'll make it.
If I had a time machine,
I wouldn't go do a
bunch of stu-- uh,
stuff you-- I would go back
and try and
get on that set just to watch
and feel what it was like
'cause it has to be...
We'll hang ourselves tomorrow.
Unless 'Gah-dow' comes.
And, and if he comes?
We'll be saved.
S-shall we go?
Pull on your trousers.
Pull on your trousers.
You want me to
pull off my trousers?
No, I want you to stop.
Jesus, that was painfully
Rob, y-you're like a robot.
And it's God-oh.
And Greg...
you were so scared
and so insecure.
you're like a-like a
wounded puppy.
Do you even
want to be an actor?
Yeah, m-more than anything.
Okay, well, it must be a big secret
because I can't tell at all.
You've been coming to class
for about two months now?
And um...
You need to-
to loosen up, and relax!
You've got to really
just expose yourself
or no one's ever gonna care.
Okay, Greg?
Yeah, okay.
Okay. Thank you.
Okay, who here can really
reveal themselves to the class?
I go.
What do you have for
us today, Thomas?
It Tommy.
Always Tommy.
You, come on with this scene.
What are we doing?
Do you know--?
Just go with it.
Don't ever leave me, baby.
Thank you. For. That.
Uh, hey!
Uh, e-excuse me...
Um, I'm-I'm Greg.
I see you in there.
Um, I was-I was just
wondering if you maybe wanted
to do a scene together.
You wanna do scene with me?
No blitzing!
- Pass!
- Hit it, hit it!
Yeah! Come on, boy!
Uh-huh! What you got?
Oh, hey, hey, car, car,
sidewalk, sidewalk.
Come here!
Hey, ju- uh,
give me a second, guys.
All your friend little kid?
Yeah, nah, I was-
I was just waitin' for you.
Okay, get in.
Oh, I-I thought we were just
gonna do it at my place?
No, I have to eat.
Don't worry, I know great place,
you'll love it.
Oh, okay.
And bring football.
All right, I'm gonna-
I'm gonna go, guys.
I'll see you guys later.
Nice car.
Why you pullin'?
No, just, you know, none of my
friends have a car this nice.
'Cause all your
friend little kid.
You know, I
just mean it's expensive,
It's nice,
that'-that's all.
Don't talk about me.
Do what?
What I drive.
What I say, what I do.
Don't tell anybody.
You understand, yeah?
Yeah. No, I-I won't.
And don't look at robot crab.
He's shy.
Bye, little kids.
Why you bring me here?
Wh-what do you mean?
Scene partner.
That joke?
No, not at all.
Then what, Greg?
I don't see point.
Okay, um.
All right, listen, when um, when I...
When I get up on stage
in front of people...
It's like all I could
think about is uh...
"what if-what if they
laugh at me? Or
if I embarrass myself?"
Um, but you, man,
you're like
fucking fearless!
And I just--
I-I wanna feel that too.
I just, I want--I want that.
- Okay.
I want what-
what you have
and I just--
I-I figured I could
I could learn something from you.
That's-that's it.
Oh, alright.
Let's do scene.
Oh, you wanna-
you wanna do a scene here?
Are you not dedicated actor?
I'm dedicated, I just, there,
you know, there's people eating,
I just don't--
I don't care about these people.
Come on, you have to do it.
Uh, okay, yeah.
I'll play the man,
"The Lightning Rod Man",
and you play this
other one with the Z.
Uh, Zachariah, Zachariah.
Good day, sir!
Good day.
Come on,
you have to be louder!
Tommy, it's just, I'm--
Don't worry about these people!
There only you
and there only me.
Now do it.
Okay, okay.
Good day, sir!
Okay, uh, um.
Don't be weird.
-I'm, uh...
-Just do it.
I'm sorry, uh...
Uh, have I the honor,
a visit
from the illustrious
-god, Jupiter Tonans?
-Okay, that's good.
-Keep going!
-All right.
-It's great.
-Uh, so, uh...
So stood-stood he in-
in the Greek statue of old,
grasping the lightning bolt.
-Uh, if you be he,
-What he do it?
or his viceroy, I-I have to
Okay, that good.
I have to thank you for
this noble storm you have
brewed among our mountains.
Okay, it's great.
Now, we're on top a mountain.
The rain pouring,
wind going...
And the lightning, everything.
A very fine rod!
I dare say!
And what are these
particular precautions of yours?!
Close yonder shutter!
The slanting rain
beating through!
Come on! Come on!
-All right, uh.
-Mountain top, right now!
Is rain, it wind going...
Are you-are you mad?
Uh, know you not that, uh, yon
yon iron bar is a
swift conductor?!
Pray, touch the bell,
pull there.
Uh, are you frantic?
Are you frantic?
Never touch bell-wire
in a thunderstorm!
Oh, wow.
Nor ring a bell of any sort!
How this guy?!
Thank you.
Wow, everybody got lucky today.
You don't have to pay
for this performance.
Thank you. You're welcome.
Very much.
Tommy, that felt
fucking amazing, man!
There you go,
now you're acting, Greg.
I would like Shakespeare.
How uh, how often
you play football, Tommy?
I love football!
You love it?
It's nice to play.
Yeah, I agree.
Great American game.
Got it here.
You ever been to
Los Angeles?
Yeah, yeah, once uh,
when I was little.
And my mom took me
down there.
It's like, best two
days of my life.
Los Angeles...
everybody want to be star.
All the pretty boys.
They're lining up
for the big shot.
Just uh,
just have to get lucky,
I guess.
It's not luck, Greg.
Greg, you have to be the best.
You have to be
the best you can be.
And never give up.
What are you--what are we
doing here? What?
All right.
This is a cool fucking
building, man.
How long have you lived here?
Must ask you again,
don't talk about me.
Not to class...
not to anybody.
Yeah, no, of course.
This is it.
Come in.
Can go in there.
Maid on vacation.
Uh, Tommy, where uh,
where you from?
From New Orleans.
Oh, no, like, uh,
like originally?
Hey, that one, you know,
The accent threw me off.
What accent?
You want Redbull?
Wh-when was this taken?
Few years ago.
Really? You just...
You look so young in it.
Look at that.
Don't be smart guy.
Oh, sorry, man.
Why don't you sit down, relax?
Yeah, yeah, no, that was...
my bad. I didn't mean to...
Looking all my stuff.
A little bit nosy guy.
Uh, so, uh, what-how'd
you get into acting?
It always been dream.
Long time.
But I ignore it.
Then one day
I get into accident.
What happened?
Guy run red light.
And smash.
Very bad for Tommy.
I almost die.
But then I survive.
It was like, wake up call,
you could say.
Yeah, definitely.
After that, I stopped doing
all the other things.
And I...
go back to my dream.
And everybody say,
"you're such crazy guy.
you're so stupid guy."
I said, "I don't care."
I do it.
I know I can do it.
I get that.
With me,
everything changed with
Home Alone.
Oh, you...
you're home alone
long time?
Uh, the mov-the movie...
-the movie Home Alone?
-Ah, it's a movie.
With, uh, with Macaulay Culkin?
Okay, um.
Yeah, so, anyway that movie,
it spoke to me, you know? It...
It changed my life and-
and ever since then, I just...
I've... just...
I get it.
You want to be star.
Yeah, I...
just wanted to be in the movies.
You know, Greg...
you and me,
we are the same.
Oh, yeah? How's-
how's that?
We both have this dream.
Yeah, I guess we do.
for information...
I was 'home alone' too.
Except not movie,
in real life.
Don't I buy you
everything you want?
A bicycle? You get a bicycle.
A car?
You buy me many things.
No, no, no, no.
He bought me many things.
We give you love and
affection, don't we?
It's not a place for kids.
A minute ago, you said
you didn't care if he drinks.
He said "a little drink."
You're tearing me apart!
Oh, my God.
You, you say one thing,
he says another...
He's the best, I told you.
You're taking me apart!
You're tearing me apart.
Yeah, he's emotion!
Moment to moment.
Not plastic.
I knew you'd like it, man.
You know,
you could be like Dean.
My God, you behind the schedule.
Listen to me, young man.
You have the gift,
you have the look.
Hey, if I can have a career in
this business, so can you, man.
I don't want career.
You don't want a career?
I thought that's...
I want my own planet.
Uh, your own planet?
Yeah, it's cool,
everybody love each other.
That's why it's the best planet.
Sounds great!
Sounds ideal, really.
I have a present for you.
Welcome to my planet, Greg.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, yeah,
Rebel Without a Cause,
East of Eden, and Giant.
That's it.
Yeah, three movies, and then
all of a sudden, he's dead.
-That's so crazy.
-It is.
You know he died just a
little bit south of here?
I wanna go one day
to the crash site.
Pay my respects.
Why don't we go now?
Now? Now, Tommy,
it's not that close.
It's like 300 miles away.
300 mile, who care?
We just do it.
It would take hours, man.
Now, you drive.
Tommy, are you serious?
Yeah, I'm serious.
Greg, the Dean
won't come to you.
You have to go to the Dean.
All right, fuck it.
All right, let's do this shit.
Road trip!
Road trip!
"I miss you"
"very much."
His whole life,
people tell him,
"You're not good enough.
You'll never make it."
But he doesn't listen.
He show them all.
That will be us
one day, Greg.
I... I hope we're not
dead on the side of a road.
No, not that part.
That we'll be famous.
We'll show them.
You'll see.
Yeah, maybe.
No, Greg, listen.
Give me pinky.
What are we ten years old?
We pinky swear.
Right here, right now.
We make pact.
That we always
push each other.
That we always
believe in each other.
And that we will
never forget dream.
All right.
James Dean!
Ah! We miss you, James!
We're with you, brother, always!
Never gonna make you cry
-Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
-Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and
Hurt you
I think it about us, huh?
Yeah, maybe.
You know, Greg,
I've been thinking.
We should move to Los Angeles.
Really, it's where
everything happening.
Yeah, I fuckin' wish.
So, why not?
Um, for one, I...
I can't afford it.
It's no problem.
We just go stay at my place.
Wait, what, y-you have
a place in L.A.?
Yeah, I have apartment
I rarely use.
We can go there together.
Wait, Tommy, y-you have an apartment
in L.A. and San Francisco?
How? How do you afford that? Wha-?
Greg, money not issue.
I told you.
Tommy, a-are you? You're
being serious right now?
Yes, Greg.
But the real question...
Are you serious?
Uh, uh, yes! I'm-are you kidding?!
Absolu-- are you?
Yes! Let's do this!
All right! Roommates!
Yeah, I see you
smiling, babyface.
It's gonna be great.
I'm never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never goin' to run around
And desert you!
Never gonna make you cry
Have you lost your mind?
What? You're leaving now?
No! This is absurd!
You can't just pack up
-and move to Los Angeles.
What are you gonna
do for money?
I have money saved
from my modeling jobs.
From your mo-- uh!
That money's gonna
last you two weeks.
Then what are you gonna do?
Then I'll get a job, or...
I don't know,
but I'll figure it out.
What about this Tommy person?
You barely know this guy.
You're moving in with him?
He's being a good friend.
He's just lookin' out for me.
Oh, my God, Greg.
Do you...
Do you understand
how hard it is?
This acting thing?
You don't just...
show up in L.A.
and things happen.
It doesn't work like that.
You have to know people.
You have to
be very lucky.
You have to work
really hard.
You have to be talented.
I... I didn't mean it like that.
Oh, my God.
-What, what are you--
-Mom, no, no, Mom, Mom.
-I wanna meet Tommy.
I wanna meet your
little friend, Tommy.
-Why? Why?
-It's gonna be good.
Mom, come on.
Hello, hi!
Why is he driving a Mercedes?
It's complicated.
Greg, wait!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I have an idea,
why don't you guys
come in for a second
and we'll uh, we'll get to
know each other
-a little bit.
-We can't.
We don't have time, Mom.
Are you on a schedule?
Mom, just come
give me a hug, please.
Just a second, just a second,
just a second.
This is quite a fancy car
you have here, Tommy.
How old are you?
-Wow, the questions,
-That's personal. You can't
-My God!
-ask people that question.
I'm more like Greg age.
You're 19?
I just turned 14.
Wow, happy birthday.
Okay, Tommy...
what is it about my son
that you find so intriguing?
No big deal.
Babyface cool guy.
Okay, Mom...
-It's a long drive.
Oh, my God.
Look at me.
It's gonna be fine.
-I'll be fine.
I'm gonna call you
right when I get in, okay?
She crazy.
Tommy, shut up!
Hit it
Almost to Los Angeles.
Oh, shit.
That downtown?
Oh, my God.
One, two, three,
Get loose now
It takes two to make
It-It-It It takes two to make
It-It-It It takes two
It-It takes two
It-It takes two to make
It-It-It It takes two to make
Home sweet home.
It's not castle, but...
it's okay.
It just my pied--terre.
It's perfect, man.
Is it um...
just uh, the one bedroom?
You don't want to
share bed with me?
Uh, um...
I just joking!
Ha ha
Ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha
Oh, my God.
You should have
seen your face.
You got me.
Don't worry,
you take bedroom.
No. No, Tommy, no.
I just maybe put up
some curtain...
make a little room
in corner or something.
No, Tommy, no way,
I'll take the couch.
-This is great, I swear.
- No, no, no.
No, no, I insist, I insist.
I want you to be my guest, like...
Beauty and Beast.
I will be Beauty, of course.
Of course.
Oh, man.
Man, you've had this place
this whole time?
I... I had it
several years now.
A-and you never wanted to like
move down here yourself and-
and give acting a real shot?
Well, I never had friend
to do it with before.
Come on,
I want to show you best part.
-Come on.
-Yeah, yeah.
There it is.
It's incredible, man.
We are doing this.
We're doing this!
this will all be yours, Greg.
Ah! We will own you, L.A.!
Watch out, here we come!
You will know our names!
You feel it, baby?
I can too
Bom bom bam bam bum
Bom bom bam bam bum
Bom bom bam bam bum
Bom bom bam bam bum
Bom bom bam bam bum
Come on, swing it.
Come on, swing it.
Okay, too much wind machine.
Blow me away, by God!
It's such a good vibration
It's such a sweet sensation
It's such a good vibration
It's such a sweet sensation
See you soon.
Yeah, it's about that time
So, are we the first agency
you met with?
Uh, yeah.
Oh, wow, these are great.
Oh, thanks, man.
Yeah, these are great.
Are you funny?
Yes, yeah.
'Cause you should get a
character head shot.
Yes, no, yeah, show
my comedic side.
Yeah, just one or two, but...
You know?
Gain weight?
-Would you do that for a role?
-Hundred percent.
And then immediately lose it.
Yeah, you know what? I'm...
Whatever I need to do, right?
One second.
Uh, could you get Iris
in here for a second?
Yes, sir.
Thank you so much.
Yes, sir.
Where's the fire?
Hey, I'm uh, I'm Greg.
Stand up.
You want me to turn?
What's with the dyed hair?
Frosted tips.
I'd, I can--I'm not
married to it. I can--
You seein' anybody else?
I, uh, no, I wasn't-
I wasn't planning.
No. You're mine.
You got it?
Yeah, no, uh.
Good bubbie.
Sign him up.
I like this one.
Welcome to Iris Burton agency.
Wow, you got agent, Greg!
It's celebration!
So you must
tell me everything.
What do you mean?
The acting business.
How to become
big star like you.
Big star?
Tommy, I'm not a star.
Okay, so modest, this guy.
Come on, you're on your way.
I have to try to think
of where to start.
I need agent?
Yeah, but that's kinda
the hardest part.
You already have agent, right?
Okay, so you just
tell agent about me.
This is the rhythm
of the night
You know what?
That could work.
I've never...
Oh, my God!
Love this song!
Yeah, you...
I have to dance, Greg.
Yeah, dude,
do what you gotta do.
God, come on!
Oh, no, no, no.
-Come on.
-Not me, not me.
I'm like the
goofiest dancer.
-You have to do it.
-No, please.
Don't worry, I'm great dancer.
Come on!
Oh, my God.
What? Wow.
This is the rhythm
of the night
The night
Hey, do you need another?
Vodka soda?
Uh, yes, please, thank you.
Your friend is...
Yeah, yeah, he's uh...
That's a good word for it.
Dude, have I seen you
some place before?
I don't know. I uh,
I'm an actor.
I know, you're always at that uh,
Poquito Mas in the valley.
I'll tell you, next time,
next time you see me there
you should come over
and say hello.
or whatever.
Or you could just
give me a call.
My name is Amber.
Come on, let go.
Just one...
This bar no good.
I guess we are going.
But uh, thank you anyways
for the drink.
Oh, yeah, this one's
on me, man.
Come on, this bar suck.
Okay, I should be uh,
Okay, yeah, all right.
-All right, bye. Bye.
-See you. Talk to you soon.
You're crashin'.
Come on, senator!
Stay with me.
I ain't losin' you tonight.
We're losing him.
God dammit!
Rule to my class are simple.
Work hard.
Show up on time.
Try not fall asleep, everybody.
Any question for a start?
It sounds like you're doing...
Am I hearing an accent?
Uh, no, no, what do you mean?
'Cause I'm hearing a kinda
eastern European accent.
Nah, that, uh, that's from
New Orleans.
Where? What?
New Orleans, you heard?
You know?
The Big Easy?
Oh, New Orleans!
I thought, I didn't know
what you were saying.
Okay, yeah, well...
Can we just try to
lose the accent?
Take it again.
The rules to the class
are simple.
Work hard.
Show up on time.
Try not to fall asleep.
Any question for a start?
Um, I think...
that about does her.
Well, I've been watching you.
Watching me?
I auditioned for that part.
That guy?
You're way more
attractive than that guy.
I'm back.
Tommy, hey!
Who's this?
Uh, this is Amber,
who I was telling you about.
Oh, girlfriend.
I don't-I don't know, um...
Okay. Well, I don't have
time for this.
I'm very busy right now.
I have to change
really quickly and go.
Okay. Is-is everything all right?
Yeah, everything
great on my end.
You heard of
Konstantin Stanislavski?
Of course, yeah, he's like
the greatest acting
teacher of all time.
Yeah, and now he Tommy
acting teacher.
He seen something special
in me, you know, maybe
you know, I become big star.
So I have first
class this evening.
I'm pretty sure
Stanislavski's dead.
No, he not dead.
I just speak to him,
for your information.
What, you think I speak to ghost?
Maybe ghost real,
but I can't talk to them.
-Hey, no, Tommy, Tommy,
-We're happy for you.
-I'm sorry.
That's exciting.
Okay, I let you know
how it is, babyface.
Maybe you can join me some day.
Maybe I will.
Not so busy.
Did he call you babyface?
Having girlfriend over,
watching Gilmore Girls.
is not love.
Which alters
when alteration finds.
Stop. Stop!
What e-uh, exactly
were you doing there?
Uh, this sonnet.
You know sonnet?
Yeah, I know what a sonnet is.
But I think what I'm asking is
why on earth would you choose
to do that uh, here today?
I do the Shakespeare.
Have you, uh, looked
at yourself?
Yeah, I see myself.
This is, no offense,
you have a malevolent
uh, presence.
You are a perfect villain.
I'm not scary guy.
I could see you as
Dracula, Frankenstein.
I'm not Frankenstein!
I'm trying to give
you a shortcut
to success.
Keep your shortcut
in your pocket.
Have you read any
I know all Shakespeare.
Well, The Tempest?
You're Caliban.
Yeah? What he do?
He hero?
No, he's the ogre that
guards the island.
What's this "ogre"?
I am hero.
And you all
are villain.
Yeah, you laugh.
"Ha ha ha."
You know what?
That what villain do.
Ha ha ha ha.
Dude, it's been a fuckin' year.
You know what I mean? Like...
I did this uh, this HBO thing
where I'm like the second lead.
Things been going crazy.
Yeah, I know it seems that way.
This where shit fuckin'...
Yeah, I know, you're gonna
take off after this.
This is like, you're goin', man.
I'm ha-I'm hap-you know
I'm happy for you, man.
What about you, though?
I've been-
I've been good, man.
You been workin'?
Yeah, I don't know, my
agents are saying it's
like kinda a slow season
or whatever, but...
No, there's never a slow season.
It's always shit workin'.
Do you like
call your agents everyday?
-Yeah, I mean...
-Where you start?
Fire that fuckin'
spooky friend of yours.
That fuckin' vampire-lookin'
-It's like...
Who is-who is he?
He's just-I don't know,
he's a friend.
-He's my roommate.
-'Cause he's fuckin'...
You can't go anywhere
with that dude.
Hollywood's pussy dries up
when you walk in with this dude.
I... I... I...
They just fuckin' clamp
shut like a fuckin'...
Hollywood puts on a
fuckin' chastity belt.
Did you see the
new, uh, Star Wars?
No, I heard it was incredible.
You want another drink?
I kinda wondered about
the Jar Jar Binks thing.
It's pretty thin.
And you know,
I don't know.
It doesn't really
get you that far.
It's like too much action,
like it never stops.
There's no story,
and it makes me pass out.
A couple of friends of mine
went and saw it recently.
You big Hollywood
producer, right?
I see-I see you on TV.
Yeah, I'm Hoyer.
Nice to see you.
Tommy Wiseau.
Nice to meet you, thank you.
Hi, young lady.
I don't wanna bullshit.
I don't wanna do none
of the bullshit.
I'm very talented.
And I have many good idea.
We're having dinner.
Okay, you don't walk up
to people's table and do this.
That's not how it works
in this business, okay?
What way? Tell me, I do it.
You can call my agency,
United Talent.
Send your resume to
United Talent Agency,
to David Kramer.
-That's how you--
-I show you that.
To be!
Or not to be!
That is the question.
Whether nobler in mind!
To suffer sling and arrow!
Sir, I'm gonna need to
ask you to stop that.
Is this gentleman bothering you?
What the fuck do you think?
You don't like Shakespeare?
Sir, I need you to leave.
Okay, I do the Tennessee William
I don't want Tennessee Williams,
I don't want Shakespeare.
Okay, now, we're
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry!
-Security! No.
Sir, I'm gonna need you to leave.
Right now.
Come here.
Just because you want it
doesn't mean it can happen.
It's one in a million, even
if you have Brando's talent.
It's not gonna happen for you.
-But now, you have to go
-Well, maybe I...
I'm not saying maybe.
I'm saying not in
a million years.
But after that?
And not after.
I'm sorry.
I accept your apology.
Sorry, sir.
Is everything okay now?
Yeah, thanks for rushing over.
He made it through two
fuckin' acts of Shakespeare.
Tommy, you okay?
You think I'm villain?
This town, Greg.
They don't want me.
They don't understand me.
Maybe I don't have what it take.
Yeah, man,
I know what you mean.
-You do?
My agent won't return
my calls, and...
all I hear is no
all day, every day, it's...
it's fuckin' hard, man.
Nobody like me, Greg.
Nobody give me chance.
My whole life.
But hey, w-we can't give up, right?
Maybe not worth it, Greg.
No, hey, Tommy, look at me.
Look at me.
When they told James Dean
he wasn't good enough,
did he listen to 'em?
No, fuck that.
All right, he kept fighting.
H-he showed them all. And...
that's what we're gonna do.
All right, we said we were
gonna push each other.
Never give up on our dreams, right?
Come on.
I just don't know how, Greg.
I wish we could just
make our own movie.
That great idea.
It'll be great drama.
Like the Tennessee Williams.
So, there's this guy, Johnny.
A true American hero.
To be played by me.
He has it all.
Good look, good job,
many friends.
How long is movie script?
And then this girl,
this beautiful girl...
she betray him.
But then, this Lisa
sleep with best friend.
We call best friend "Mark."
After Mark Damon from
"Talented Ripley Man."
And then this guy, Johnny,
he go crazy!
He decide to kill himself
in front of the world.
And then he show them all.
Ha ha ha.
That's great.
And also, maybe
Johnny is vampire.
We'll see.
Anything for my princess.
After everything
he do for everybody,
why would they do this to him?
My mind!
Can't think.
She was nice but real proud.
She was nice but real proud.
But it's real life.
People act so
strange these days.
You finished?
It's my masterpiece.
Greatest drama since the
Tennessee Williams.
"The Room."
"The Room."
Nobody read it yet.
So today, you be first one.
Yeah, all right.
So read it.
Oh, you want me to
read it right now?
Yeah, what you think?
Okay. The Room.
I'll do anything for my girl.
You should marry Johnny.
Did you know that
chocolate is the symbol of love?
We can't do this anymore.
I keep thinking about your
strong hands round my body.
Anyway, how's your sex life?
I don't think she's
faithful to me.
Life gets complicated.
The unexpected happens.
In a few minutes, bitch.
A lot of people
loved each other.
The world will be a
better place to live.
What you think?
I mean, it's great. That's...
I just-I can't-I can't believe it, man.
You-you did this!
And of course, you play Mark.
What? You want-you want me
to play Mark in this?
Hey, big role. Second lead.
Yeah, it's a huge role.
Are you-are you sure?
Well, you don't
wanna do it, fine.
Maybe Johnny Dapp available.
No, no, no, no. I want it!
I-I want the role. I'll take it.
It's like you said,
Hollywood reject us
then we do it on our own.
Wait, y-you have the
money to make this?
I have. Is no problem.
You're really gonna
make this thing?
No, Greg.
We are going to do it.
And we're gonna have
everything you need.
We have a vast
assortment of lenses.
We've got cameras,
both digital and film.
Here's our facility owner.
Hey, Bill!
Come on over and meet
Tommy and Greg.
These are the guys
I was telling you about.
-Oh, hi.
-How you doing, man?
Hey, hey, pleasure to meet you.
How long is the shoot?
As long as it take.
All right.
Uh, we just wanna
make it right, you know?
I think you're gonna find
everything you need here
at Birns and Sawyer.
Our rental packages
start at about--
Wait, wait, I stop you right there.
We don't rent, we buy.
Is that not normal or?
Industry standard is
pretty much that you
would rent the equipment because
it's so prohibitively
expensive to own it.
Okay. I said no problem.
Okay, I guess we'll buy.
You wanna shoot 35 or HD?
Well, we'll shoot both on this film.
Digital and film?
But you'd need twice the crew,
uh, twice the equipment. I mean...
Hell, both--they're lit differently.
It's just not done.
I have vision.
Tommy, the pioneer, man.
He-- that's--
He wants to go outside the box.
It's what he does.
So what, we have deal or what?
Well, let's discuss.
Yeah, give us a minute,
you know, it's just...
you know, not normally
how we do business.
This is weird, who
buys equipment?
-Apparently, this guy.
-I don't know about these guys.
-If he has the money...
-Does he have the money?
How do we know
if he has the money?
We are a business,
we sell stuff.
-Let's sell it to him.
I have an idea.
Follow my lead.
-Do it.
-Okay, okay.
We are able to sell you
all the equipment you need.
-There we go.
Now, you say yes.
And we're also...
willing to give it to you
at a reduced rate...
if you decide to shoot
here in our studio.
What do you think?
We shoot here?
We wanna be in business
with you, Tommy.
Okay, we make American movie
with American discount!
-Okay, that's a deal, right?
-Deal. Great.
-The character is Lisa.
Is she, you know, like
romantic or a scientist?
-Or is she...
-She is Lisa.
Alright, now we do scene, okay?
Okay, okay, well, Johnny
should be here any minute.
Now you riding horse.
Okay, someone knock on door
while you riding horse.
Who is it?
It's like rain, like sexy rain.
So, I just wanna introduce
you to some people.
Raphael, he's one of our
most experienced DPs.
Uh, director of photography.
All right, DP.
This is Sandy Schklair.
He's a script supervisor
on how many, Sandy?
47 shows.
-Oh, wow! So many!
It's a lot of movies. Yeah.
I'm Lisa!
Oh, that like cowboy.
So, she's a bit of a cowboy?
No, you do like cowboy.
I'm Lisa.
I don't want cowboy,
you do like cowboy.
Are you cowboy?
Don't, just do the
opposite of that.
-Do the opposite?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, now you playing saxophone.
Am I still the cowboy?
No, just play saxophone.
Amy does hair and makeup.
This is Safoya,
she does costumes.
Would she see my character
dressed like this?
Um, maybe we could get
rid of one of the belts?
What? No, no way!
It make my butt look good.
Pretend I'm boyfriend.
And what do you do?
You remember Bill?
You know Bill, come on.
I sold you the equipment.
Bill, I didn't know it was you.
And action.
I'm sorry, my darling.
No, start it over.
Do it like Shakespeare, but sexy.
Good day, Mark!
I misseth you.
That was great!
Don't break character.
Is Johnny there?
Okay, everybody hired!
-Just like that?
-That was easy.
You wanna like talk about the
vision of the movie though?
Don't worry, we have plenty of time.
We talk about all day.
As a script supervisor,
it would be really helpful
if I could look at the
script for the movie first.
Everybody want script.
Don't be greedy, okay?
What we do, it's a
little unconventional, and so...
You're licking ice cream cone.
Okay, but it's really hot out,
so it's melting.
Oh, okay.
You better lick fast!
Oh, no, but now
it's like brain freeze!
It's too much at once!
-Yeah, get it all.
-Get it all in there.
-Yeah, you gotta throw it all.
Is this a real movie?
I really wanna be in one.
No, stop. I don't make porno.
I just do ice cream.
I could try it again.
Don't try again.
You know what?
You're hired.
Aw, thank you!
Can you feel it,
see it, hear it today?
If you can't,
then it doesn't matter anyway
You will never understand it
'cause it happens too fast
And it feels so good,
it's like walking on glass
You want it all
but you can't have it
Okay, everyone gather round.
Everyone gather round.
Come on, don't be shy.
Everyone, come in.
I need cast, crew...
Markus, Markus, come here.
Get in here.
This Markus, he does video
behind scenes. Okay?
Give me now, face,
and eyes, and-- for speech.
Yeah, do some movements
and stuff.
Okay! Today our
top of mountain day.
Today we take first steps
on a great journey.
After today, which one of
ourselves will ever be same?
This play work if chemistry
between character make sense.
Human behavior.
It applies to all of us.
It's in ourselves.
You love someone.
What is love?
You need to have spirit, hope.
Be optimist.
But can you handle
all your human behavior
and behavior of others?
Right? Right, see
what I'm saying?
You don't wanna be good.
You wanna be great.
Okay, I have one announcement.
This um, is bathroom I spent
many dollars on this.
Is for me only,
director only, okay?
You know there's like a real
bathroom with like doors and
everything right-right there.
This real movie set here.
Real movie set, you know?
No Mickey Mouse stuff.
Copy that.
Okay, enough pet talk.
We make movie!
The Room!
Yeah, The Room!
Let's make a movie!
Okay, uh, let's see what
we got set up over here.
We do alley scene.
This set of the alley way
looks exactly like the real
alley way out there.
That's right. That's what we do
in Hollywood movie, right?
Well, why don't we just
shoot in the real alley way?
Because is real Hollywood movie.
No, yeah, sounds good.
Okay, we need other
camera right now.
-Right here next to this one.
-All right, yeah.
-Digital camera.
-Sorry 'bout that, yeah.
-Get the two cameras in.
-Let's go everybody, come on.
Let's go.
This is Denny and Chris-R.
Uh, what do I say?
Okay, we go over lines
Don't worry, don't worry.
You do the light,
I do with the actor, okay?
You play basketball here.
And this guy come over,
Chris-R come over...
gonna demand money. Okay?
Cocksucker motherfucker!
Five fucking minutes!
Jesus Christ.
I'm gonna fuck you.
Okay? Good. Any questions?
Yeah, uh, h-h-how old is
my character supposed to be?
Like your age, like 15,
16-year-old boy.
Mm, I'm 26.
Same thing, okay?
You look great.
Okay, a-and, uh, sorry...
Can I call him Chris
instead of Chris-R?
Just, I don't know why.
No, his name Chris-R.
You call him Chris-R.
You cocksucking motherfucker!
My God, this guy monster.
Fuck! Fuck!
-Okay, we go!
-You got it.
And don't be Brando today.
You might hurt yourself.
All right, picture's up!
Let's roll camera, roll sound.
Scene 109, take one.
Hey, Denny.
Hey, Chris-R,
I was looking for you.
Yeah, sure you were.
You have my money, right?
You wanna play some horse?
Don't wanna play
some fucking horse!
Where is my fucking money?
It's coming, it's coming.
What do you mean it's coming?
J-just give me five minutes.
Five minutes?
You want five
fucking minutes, Denny?
I don't have
five fucking minutes!
-Where's my fucking money, Denny?
-No! No!
Tell me where my fucking
money is, Denny!
I want my fucking money, Denny!
-Please, don't!
-Goddammit, where is...
-I don't have anything!
-my fucking...
-I don't have anything!
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, cut, cut, cut!
-Oh, man!
-Oh, my God, man.
Wow, you like monster.
Little boy, you okay?
You okay, man?
-Little boy.
-So good!
Oh, man!
That's real.
That acting like real life.
Great one.
Great take, everyone.
-Good job.
Who do you think you are?
You're acting like a kid.
Just grow up.
Hey, who are you calling kid?
Chill out, Mark,
just trying to help.
You're having an affair
with Lisa, aren't you?
Okay, cut. Greg, come here
I need to talk to you.
Let's go back to one!
What's going on, man?
I want you to be aggressive.
I know, I know.
This is your moment.
Go to edge of your moment.
-All right? Intensity.
Be aggressive. The Room.
-Great drama. Intensity.
Thanks, Tommy.
Thank you, yes.
Okay, go again.
Okay, here we go, people!
and action.
Wait a sec, who do
you think you are?
You're acting like a kid,
just grow up.
Hey, who you calling kid!
Look, just chill out, Mark.
I'm just trying to help.
You're having an affair
with Lisa, aren't you?
-I'm right, aren't I?
What are you nuts?
Wow, Greg!
-Give me five!
Yeah! Going ten.
Hello, how can I help ya?
I'd like to cash this
check if uh, possible.
Uh, is 20's okay?
-Went through?
That is shocking.
There's actually money in there?
This account...
It's like a bottomless pit.
So, uh, what's the deal?
Do you work with this guy or?
Yeah, he's a filmmaker.
Yeah, I'm working with him
on a movie right now.
You a movie fan?
Is it a period piece?
More spray, more spray.
-Hey, great job yesterday.
-Oh, thank you.
Hi, Mark.
Oh, hi, oh, hi, Mark.
Hi, Mark.
-Hi, Mark.
Hi, Greg.
Dude, first day
in front of the camera.
How you feeling?
You excited? Nervous?
Nervous? Why you say that?
I'm not nervous.
Oh, no, um...
-Hi, Mark.
-I'm just, um...
Man, before my first scene,
I was like, I almost threw up.
You think I'm nervous?
-Not, not at all.
-I'm not nervous.
I'm fine. More spray!
It's gonna look really wet.
No, it look good!
It look good,
I know how I look.
-I just wanna say good luck, man.
You're gonna do great.
You guys, uh, five minutes
away from shooting.
-Great scene yesterday.
-Oh, thanks.
Oh, whatever.
You do great scene yesterday.
Maybe you think
I don't do great scene
-or something.
-Tommy, not at all.
Where wardrobe girl?
I'm sure she's...
Where wardrobe girl?!
Right here, right here.
Where you been?
I been looking all over.
I just went to get ties.
Well, ready now.
Too late. Already dressed.
But none of that matches. I...
Look, it's his first day in front
of the camera. He's just nervous.
Don't talk about me, Greg.
I hear you.
Look, I'm sorry.
I have ear
for your information.
Are you gonna film with all
that stuff in your pockets?
I keep my stuff, sweetie.
Okay, could I at least take
a photo for continuity?
Continuity in your forehead.
What's that even mean?
Don't take it personally.
He's going crazy.
I need five more
minutes for lighting.
No, I'm ready now!
Let's go, let's go, Sandy.
Come on!
Right, let's uh, roll.
-Yeah, we're rolling.
Ready... And...
What line?
What is line?
"I did not hit her."
"It's not true."
"It's bullshit."
"I did not hit her."
"I did not."
"Oh, hi, Mark."
What is line?
"I did not hit her."
"It's not true."
"It's bullshit."
"I did not hit her."
"I did not."
"Oh, hi, Mark."
Scene 112.
Take 13. Mark it.
I did not hit her. I...
Okay, okay. Line?
-"I did not hit her."
-"I did not hit her."
-"It's not true."
-"It's not true."
-"It's bullshit."
-"It's bullshit."
-"I did not hit her."
-"I did not hit her."
-"I did not."
-"I did not."
-"Oh, hi, Mark."
-"Oh, hi, Mark."
Take 17.
I hit her!
No! Do you wanna change the line?
Script is script.
Script stay same.
You're doing great, man.
We'll get there.
Action, action!
You have to say out loud,
I can't hear in here.
Say "action" so I can hear.
I did not hit her.
It's not true.
It's bullshit.
I did not hit her.
I did naaat.
Oh, hi, Mark.
What the f--where
are you looking?
It doesn't work if you're
looking at the camera.
Take 67!
It's not true. I did not hit her.
It's bullshi--
All right, I'm gonna fuckin'...
try something, I dunno...
Hey, hey, hey...
Okay, uh, maybe just use this...
You know, I think it'll
help you take your mind off...
Water bottle?
Hey, hey, listen, listen,
what do you always say to me?
All right?
Intensity, show emotion!
Throw it! Do something crazy!
-Oh, show emotion.
-Use the bottle, yes!
That's easy part.
Why don't you say that
to me before, Greg?
-I don't know, I...
-See, Greg...
These other guys,
these other people...
they don't care like
you care, you know?
I care, yeah, yeah.
-Okay, we do this together.
-Me and you, man, you got this.
-Show emotion.
-Okay, I do it.
-Okay, all right.
-All right.
-All right, let's see.
Oh, we got a bottle now.
Look out.
I did not hit her.
It's not true.
It's bullshit.
I did not hit her.
I did not.
Oh, hi, Mark.
He did it!
I got it!
We got done!
Okay, moving on now!
Hey, babe.
You wanna take a break?
How's it going?
You feeling good?
I am.
I am, yeah, feels like
it's coming together.
And Tommy's?
-Tommy is...
Yeah, h-he's stressed.
You know, he did his
first scene, which uh...
took a million takes, but
Oh, acting it?
But you know, he's the director
too, and that's like...
it's a lot, a lot to think about,
acting, directing, producing.
So, he's doing-he's doing great.
He'll get there.
What do you do...
if it turns out...
really bad?
It's not gonna be bad.
Like if it turns out...
would you...
-That would...
-can you take it off...
-your IMDB?
-That would suck, but...
when it feels good, it feels good
and it's like, you know
when it's working or not.
and it's... it's really working.
I used to know a girl,
she had a dozen guys.
One of them found out about it,
beat her up so bad,
she ended up at a hospital
in Guerrero Street.
Ha ha ha ha.
What a story, Mark.
Why is he laughing?
-I have no idea.
-Weird time to laugh.
Why don't we go
one more time? And uh...
Let's just get a different
reaction to the story, okay? Uh...
Let's uh, let's roll
with tail slate.
Everyone set?
And, uh, action.
I used to know a girl,
she had a dozen guys.
One of them found out about it,
beat her up so bad,
she ended up at a hospital
in Guerrero Street.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
What a story, Mark.
Oh, God.
Hey, uh...
the story he's telling you...
the one you... yourself wrote...
It's not a funny story, Tommy.
Yeah, I thought-I thought this
was a serious scene, Tommy?
-Yeah, why are you laughing?
Well, some-sometimes people
do crazy things, right?
Human behavior.
Okay, fair enough.
Maybe just get one...
where you don't laugh
at the story, okay?
Okay, we still rolling?
-Still rolling.
-Cameras set.
Okay, we'll pick it up.
-All right. Set the speed.
Ready, and, action.
I used to know a girl,
she had a dozen guys.
One of them found out about it,
beat her up so bad,
she ended up at a hospital
in Guerrero Street.
Ha ha ha!
What a story, Mark.
He's not gonna listen to you.
We're gonna be here all night.
Just call it.
All right, cut, check it.
Great. I think we got it.
Okay, great.
Check gate.
It's human behavior.
He knows nothing
about filmmaking.
He's a complete idiot.
I don't even think
he's seen a movie.
Clearly never been
on a set before.
What? Have you ever heard
of someone producing, directing...
This guys doesn't know anything,
talking all the time...
Who gives this guy money?
Oh, I don't even
wanna get into that,
that's something
going for a probe.
Oh, wow.
I love burrito.
Uh, Tommy, so, um...
the reason we
brought you here...
is uh, because w-we've
been talking, and...
we decided that we want
to move in together.
I sorry.
I have no room for
three people my place.
Oh, no, that's-that's not
what I mean. Um...
No, Greg is gonna
move in with me.
Well, y-you know, we've been
going out for a little while now.
It just kinda felt like the
right next step, you know.
-The right time.
-The right time. Exactly.
What about movie?
What about it?
What the...
Living together and the movie have
nothing to do with each other.
Tommy, I-I'll see you on Monday.
I'll be there.
I have to go to bathroom.
Wait, Tommy, Tommy...
Dude, just-just
'cause I'm moving out
doesn't mean we're not gonna
see each other anymore.
He's all right, babe.
-It could have been worse, I guess.
Everybody betray me!
Oh, my foot.
I hurt my foot.
Just another day at the office.
Can you not?
Right now?
I need more lights over here.
You help him.
You too, you too.
-Back me up.
I need this look like "Titanic."
-The Titanic?
-Yeah, that one.
Yeah, yeah, trust me, it does.
-Okay, we go.
-Tommy, Tommy.
This is not necessary.
No, very necessary.
I need to show my ass
to sell this movie.
Maybe uh,
at least we have a close set?
Not closed set, open set.
Life is not closed set.
I want everyone to see.
You especially.
What? Why? What?
Brad Pitt do this
in "The Legend of the Falls."
Juliette, are you okay?
Could we maybe just put on some
music to get in the mood, like...
-maybe a little Alicia Keys?
I'm sorry, we're not here to
promote other people's work.
All right?
We go!
-Okay, roll it!
-Roll it.
Wait, wait, cut, cut!
What is this?
What is this?
This disgusting.
It's my body.
No, this pimples on the...
Makeup, come fix
this disgusting body.
Tommy, what the fuck?
Juliette, I'm so sorry!
I'm so--
Dude, w-what are you doing?
Why are you acting like this?
This American movie,
she need to look sexy.
-Come here.
Fuck, man.
I know I'm hard on her.
Yeah, you're har--it's not just that.
What's going on with you?
Stanley Kubrick, he nice to actors?
Alfred Hitchcock?
Let me tell you something, Greg.
He do this movie, "Birds."
Yeah, I'm aware of The Birds.
On this movie,
he terrify actors.
He locked them in room.
He throw-he throw
birds at them.
Real birds!
Nasty stuff.
The actors,
they cry every day.
But this movie
win every award.
Is Mr. Hitchcock bad man?
No. He great director.
Yeah, but he was an asshole.
And I bet he didn't direct
with his fucking dick out!
Oh, really? Well, maybe we
check the record, okay?
-And you know,
for your information,
word "director" come from
"dictator." Rest my case.
You can't treat them like--
This is not right!
I treat them
how I treat them.
If anyone needs to be upset
here, it's me, quite frankly.
-I give them job.
I give them salary.
I already spend five million
dollar on this movie, Greg!
Five! Are you kidding me?
Five million dollars?!
And they are not grateful!
Nobody respect my vision!
I know what they say, Greg.
I hear them.
Nobody trusts me.
Not even you, Greg!
That's-- What are you?
Oh, see, you don't even trust me!
-What? Hey, Tommy!
-Let's go!
-Let's go!
-Be nice to her!
-Juliette, let's go.
-Be nice to her.
Let's go, please.
I'm a professional, I'm okay.
If you're not comfortable,
tell me, okay?
I can do it. It's fine.
-All right, roll it.
-It's a movie.
And action.
Oh, my--
I think you're aiming
a little bit high.
I aim where I aim.
Just do the scene.
Why is he having sex
with her belly button?
He knows where her
vagina is, right?
Okay, cut!
I need more passion.
And this, it's still disgusting.
You go clean it.
Fuck that! Okay!
-You embarrass that girl
-Whoa, whoa, whoa,
-in front of the entire crew...
-whoa, whoa, whoa...
you're a dead man!
-Oh, really?
-Can I do my job now?
Oh, really I'm dead man?
I'm dead man?
Everyone-everyone calm down.
Jesus, come on, come on.
Juliette, you need a break.
Take a break.
-I'm okay.
-She okay.
-Well, I need a break.
-Then you're fired!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, hey.
I know what you say.
I hear you.
And you, and you.
-I hear everybody.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What the fuck
are you talking about?
Where Markus?
This Mar--film now.
This Markus, I hire him
do documentary
"The Making of The Room."
He capture every comment.
"Oh, yeah, Tommy weird."
"Tommy like Frankenstein."
"He like, he like vampire rapist."
I hear everything.
I have ears everywhere.
I hear your whispers
in your souls.
You're on my planet.
Wait, wait, so you've been
spying on your entire production?
Yeah, that's right.
That's fucking crazy!
That's how it is.
So now, you know.
Next time you make laughter,
"Ha ha ha ha ha,"
I don't care who you are,
you're out on street.
What about me?
Am I still fired?
All right. I give you
one more chance.
Take three's up.
Let's go.
Make sure you see my ass.
-See you at the car?
Tommy, we're leaving.
I feel like um...
I feel like we should
at least talk about this.
Look at my arm.
Not bad.
Look like big strong kid.
Yeah, man.
All right, I'll uh, I'll see ya.
I haven't seen any water.
I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
Yeah, fuck this place.
There's no AC in here.
Too fucking cheap.
Nobody wants to help me.
And I'm dying.
Hey, it's like a hundred
fucking degrees in here.
He show up yet?
No. I wish.
Hey, guys, if he doesn't
get in here soon,
I just say we call lunch.
What do you say?
-You wanna just keep rehearsing?
-Sure, sure.
Um, you're not dying, Mom.
I got the results
of the tests back.
I definitely have breast cancer.
Hi, everybody.
-You're here.
Here camera.
Okay, you ready?
Where have you been, man?
Where have I been? You know.
Just getting ready my apartment.
I live there alone now.
-Got a question?
Does this come back?
What are, why, what
is she talking about?
The storyline.
The breast cancer.
Breast cancer?
No, it's twist.
So, it never comes back?
I don't have time to explain
script to you right now, okay?
What is this?
This makeup. You look like
you're swimming in lake.
It's a hundred degrees in here.
Tommy, if you're not gonna
pay for air conditioning,
you at least have
to pay for water.
Could we maybe just have a little
bit of water before the scene? I...
Okay, I stop you. I stop
everybody right there, okay?
Nobody in Hollywood will
give you water either,
-That's not true.
Dude, we can't work like this.
Well, I'm not
Santa Claus, all right?
Maybe you go buy water
for everybody, Greg!
Maybe girlfriend bring you
some water or something.
We gotta get going, okay.
We're already four hours behind.
Okay, well, whose fault that?
Uh, my fault?
You're late every goddamn day.
All right, that your five cents.
I'm fucking director.
Turn these lights on, right now!
If I turn on the lights,
it's getting hotter.
Be professional, do your job!
You do your job!
Tommy, it's hot enough as is!
Greg, so you know
about light too?
Huh? You know everything.
You know water, light, girlfriend.
Oh, my God!
Carolyn has fainted!
Oh, my God!
Tommy, please get some water?
Tommy, get the fucking water!
Come on!
What she doing? Taking nap?
She's not taking a fucking
nap, you fucking idiot!
She passed out!
-She's dead?
-She's not dead.
No, I can feel her heartbeat.
It's not 'cause water,
it's 'cause she's old lady.
Tommy, please!
You know what?
That's it!
I'm pullin' the plug!
Turn off the lights!
Open the doors!
That's lunch!
We're coolin' it out in here.
She okay? Could
we get the medic?
Turn off these lights!
Best thing I could
say about this,
is nobody will ever see this.
Would you walk?
We can walk off this...
I'm just tired, is all.
I haven't been sleeping
well recently.
I'll be fine.
Hey, can I ask you something?
Why-why do you do it?
You have a husband,
and grandkids.
You live about fifty
miles from here.
And you're waking up at 5 a.m.
to drive all this way,
for what?
We're actors, Greg.
You and me, people like us...
even the worst day
on a movie set
is better than the best day
anywhere else.
Hey, Greg.
Can we ask you something?
What is this movie about?
I have a theory.
It's autobiographical.
Someone in his life was
a Denny, a kid brother,
he's looking out for.
Someone was a Mark,
the better looking friend
he was always jealous of.
I'm sure there was a Michelle
and a Mike.
So, does that mean
that there's a Lisa?
Somebody who broke his heart,
and stabbed him in the back,
and ruined his life?
Well, that's pretty
obvious to me.
That's the universe.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's Bryan fucking Cranston!
Oh, hey, I know him.
Well, yeah, no shit.
Malcom in the Middle.
No, from pilates.
-Wait, what are you--wait.
-Amber! How are you?
-So good to see you.
-You too.
-You too.
-This is my boyfriend, Greg.
Hi, Greg, how are you?
Good, yeah.
Greg is also an actor.
-You are? Cool.
Anything I would
have seen you in?
No, I d-doubt it.
You know, it's a journey.
Are you working on
anything at the moment?
Yeah, yeah, actually,
I'm-I'm doing this movie.
-Movie? Nice.
Yeah, but, you know, I'd love
to do TV at some point.
Yeah, you know, the sitcoms,
drama, cop shows.
Yeah, y-you name it,
I would do it.
It's funny you mentioned
that 'cause, um...
I'm directing an episode
of Malcolm right now.
Next week, we're shooting this
scene where the boys get lost.
And Hal and Lois have to
go find them in the woods.
And we're having trouble
finding this...
And you got this...
this beard.
What do you think? You wanna-
You wanna do it?
Uh, tuh, are you-are
you serious?
Yeah, well, you know,
everybody needs a break.
Oh, are you good?
-I should've asked you that first.
-Yes, yes, yes, no.
He's very good.
I'm sorry, I'm freaking out
a little bit! I'm just...
I'm a big fan.
It's like, it's crazy!
All right, all right.
You and the beard, next
Tuesday and Wednesday.
I will be there.
-Hey, nice to see you.
-Nice to see you!
-Thank you, man, seriously, that's...
-You're welcome, you're welcome.
-See you next week.
Thanks again.
Okay. I'm set.
Go to hell, wall!
Aah, why?
Why is this happening to me?
forgive me.
Why is he getting back up?
No, don't cut! Don't cut!
Why you cut, Sandy?
This is great.
This is real acting.
If you're gonna writhe
around with a dress,
maybe do it before you
shoot yourself in the head
and blow your brains out.
I disagree.
We go!
Okay, still rolling, here we go.
And action.
I wanted to keep that dress.
You can never
wear that dress.
Okay, now I do kill part.
Oh, great, yeah,
let's cover that again.
Give me countdown.
And cut!
Think we got it.
I guess so, yeah.
Get me a C-stand
over there, please?
Dude, that was
amazing, man.
You think so?
Totally, yeah, it was-it was
raw and intense and...
Yeah you really
brought it, man, seriously.
Thank you.
So, uh, so listen, I-I know-I know
this is last minute, but um...
just wanted to talk to you
about something real quick.
What is it, Greg? You can see
I'm very busy right now.
Yeah, um, so-so you know how the
beard-shaving scene is tomorrow?
Yeah, I know the schedule.
Right. Um, so, I was just,
I was hoping that we could
maybe move it to next week.
And that I could maybe get
the day off tomorrow.
Why? You sick?
Oh, no!
Greg, I can't afford
get sick right now.
-I'm lead actor, I'm director.
-I feel great, man, It's not that.
It's not. I feel great.
Then what? Why you need day off?
I actually--I landed a
small role on a TV show.
It's a Malcolm in the Middle.
What, you're movie actor now.
Why you do this... this TV?
Well, i-it's kind of a big show.
You know, it would
be great exposure.
It would be like a really
good stepping stone
for my career, I think.
What you do in this
little Malcolm?
I-I'm playing like-like
a lumberjack
And um, that's like,
that's why the beard,
that's why I need it,
um, which is,
which is why
I can't shave tomorrow.
But if we-if we just
move the schedule
just like-like
a day or two, it would...
it would really
mean a lot to me.
Oh, I'm sorry, Greg.
I can't help you.
Why? What?
Clean-shaven Mark, you know,
he make grand entrance
at beginning of third act.
It's very important.
-It's metaphor.
-I know.
I know, but we can just-
we can do it next week
-it's not a big deal.
-No, I can't, Greg!
It's impossible.
I'm sorry.
I can't give you special
treatment, Greg.
When I can't give special
treatment to everybody.
Everybody here working hard.
One favor. I'm just asking for
a tiny favor as a friend.
Favor, favor, favor.
You always ask favor.
This is one tiny thing, that's it!
I take you to Los Angeles,
give you place to stay.
I write you this part.
I do this whole movie
for you, Greg?
You did it for me?
Come on, man.
-For us? We do it together, right?
-Okay, I know.
Yes, it's our movie.
This doesn't change that.
Don't betray me, Greg.
I'm not betraying you.
What I say?
We do this together?
-We do this together.
Now you betray me.
I'm not--
So, are you gonna let
me do it or not?
Not up to me, Greg.
Up to you.
You have to choose.
You do this TV show,
"Little Malcolm."
Or you do the movie.
Our movie, Greg.
She had to go?
Hey, guys.
You like it?
Yeah, you look great.
Look like... babyface.
You guys wanna
play some football?
In tuxes? No. You've
gotta be kidding.
Mark, come on, let's do it!
I'm up for it.
Ask Peter.
Peter, come on!
No. I don't think so.
-Come on?
Cheep cheep cheep
-Cheep cheep cheep cheep
-Cheep cheep cheep cheep
Cheeep cheep cheep
Cheep cheep
You good, Tommy?
Yeah, good day everybody.
See you tomorrow.
All right, great job!
Can't believe it.
Let's go to a bar
and erase the memory of today.
Hey, Sandy, Raphael.
I talk to you a minute?
Road trip!
San Francisco, here we come.
Who are these guys?
Oh, that's Todd.
That's friend of Todd.
And other friend of Todd
Where's Sandy and Raphael?
Ah, it's over for those guys.
Did you fire them?
Who's to say?
Come on, forget about them!
-We have Todd now.
Look, it's gonna be like the old days.
San Francisco.
We take stroll
down memory lane.
Wait till you see
new script pages, Greg.
You'll love it.
Be very dramatic.
Let's do it.
Okay, Todd?
Yeah, you put
camera there, okay?
Yup, it's here.
Okay, we threw a ball
over here.
Come on, Greg. Come on, Greg.
Remember, Greg?
We play football
first time we met?
Yeah, yeah, I remember.
Okay, Todd? You roll it.
Tommy, what are we doing here?
We do new scene.
About Mark failures.
Mark want to make
dreams come true
and Johnny help him.
Yeah, I don't think so, man.
Let's do it. Come on.
Take from your real life.
Drop it. Stop.
Don't do this.
I'm asking you nicely.
Stop it. Drop it.
Remember, you want
to be actor, but...
nobody believe in you, Greg...
you know, you're not
good enough...
Right? Do that, that stuff.
What? No, Tommy, drop it.
Movies are emotion.
Okay, you need
to be real for us.
Look, Greg...
frankly, you have not been
that real the whole movie.
Now you chance.
Fuck you, Tommy.
No one believe in you,
and Mom think you're loser.
I said no!
Greg! Dammit, why you
throw this tricky stuff?
All right, man,
you wanna get real?
You wanna get real for the
cameras, let's get real.
Hey, you guys gettin' this?
Yeah, good.
Let's get real.
Where were you born, Tommy?
Greg, that not part of scene.
No way, this is your idea.
Where are you from?
It's a simple question.
I'm from New Orleans.
New Orleans.
From the bayou.
You guys hear that?
This guy with this fuckin'
accent is from "the bayou."
Oh, you want an easier question?
Let's see...
where does the money
come from, huh?
Greg, stop! This on camera!
I know it's on camera
just like you wanted.
All right, just
tell me this one thing...
How old are you?
I'm your age, Greg.
You're my age?
You're my age?
I'm just your friend.
When were you born?
What year, Tommy?
Same year as you.
Same year as me?
There is no fucking way
you're in your 20's, all right?
You are a fucking villain!
Fucking Frankenstein-looking
I not villain!
I believed in you, man.
I trusted you!
I gave you everything.
Are you fucking--?
You ruined everything!
You owe me your life!
Man, I don't owe you
shit anymore.
All right, and this movie be
fuckin' awesome!
Will be awesome.
Cut it. Cut it.
Movie over.
And why am I trying to become
what I don't want to be?
What am I doing in an office,
making a-a contemptuous,
begging fool of myself,
when all I want is out there...
Honey, I am so excited
to come see your play.
See, acting doesn't
have to be big movies.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
It's probably better
if no one even sees
that thing you did
with Tommy, right?
I mean, come on, that
thing can't be any good.
Are you there...?
You know what I'm saying?
Hey, good show, guys.
-That was fun tonight, right?
-Good job.
All right, see you tomorrow.
You stalking me now?
Ha ha ha.
You're not that hard to find.
Did you watch the show?
You know I don't like comedy.
So, how Amber?
I don't know.
She moved to Austin.
Didn't work out.
Sorry to hear this.
Is that why you came here, Tommy?
You wanted to talk about Amber?
You didn't RSVP.
Yeah, I'm not coming.
honestly, maybe...
maybe you shouldn't have
a premiere at all.
We made pact.
To never lose sight
of our dream.
Well, on Friday...
they premiere a movie.
Our movie, Greg.
In real live theater.
I know you don't
like me anymore.
So don't do it for me.
Do it for you, Greg.
You'll finally get to
see yourself on big screen.
This was your dream too, Greg.
What the fuck am I doing?
Can you believe it?
I can't, no.
Here, it's for you.
No, you can-
you can keep that.
Don't worry,
I made boxes of them.
You think Sandy be there?
I don't know.
Holy shit, is this for us?
Yeah, that's for us.
Driver, slow down.
Did you get a fucking spotlight?
Yeah, this real Hollywood
premiere, Greg.
Raphael, Sandy, Juliette,
Go, driver, go.
Keep going.
-What, wait, Tommy, why?
-Go, go, go! Go, keep going.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Tommy Wiseau.
-That was fucking weird.
At this point,
it would be fucking weird
if he didn't do something
that was fucking weird.
Tommy, what the
fuck are we doing?
Well, we gotta build
There not enough people.
Greg, we are stars of the movie.
We can't be first one there.
You're right. You're right.
And not enough people yet.
Just trust me.
Tommy, come on.
We're gonna do this, yeah?
It's time.
Is he not gonna
get out of the car?
The fuck is happening?
Tommy, come on, let's do this.
You ready?
Hey, everyone!
Sorry late, traffic crazy!
Well, let's go, let's do it.
No one be nervous.
Come on.
Let's go.
Let's do it.
Come on, Greg.
The very first premiere.
You excited?
Yeah, Tommy, sure.
Wow, this is a day
I never thought would come.
This is a pretty good
turn out, I gotta say.
Wow, so many people.
Yeah, it's packed.
Hey, you play Chris-R, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, I didn't recognize you
without the beanie.
And the beard.
Oh, yeah.
I play the psychologist, uh, Peter.
I'm in this too.
-Oh, cool, man.
I feel like I'm
a little overdressed.
No, are you kidding me?
You're the star of the movie.
If I could have your attention.
Please welcome the writer,
director, producer,
and star of tonight's
His name is Mr. Tommy
This my movie.
And this my life.
Okay, be cool.
I'm so nervous.
Okay, let's begin!
The Room!
Two title cards. Great.
Two logos.
I noticed. Yeah.
Hi, babe.
I have something for you.
What is it?
Just a little something.
Johnny, it's beautiful,
thank you.
Wow, you look so sexy, Lisa.
Isn't it fabulous?
I'll do anything
for my girl.
Oh, hey, guys.
Oh, hi, Denny.
Look at you!
It's from Johnny.
Anything for my princess.
Okay, I'm ready.
It's so pretty,
I can't wait for you
to get it off of me.
Okay, oh, wow.
Stop it!
I just like to watch you guys.
Denny, Denny, Denny boy.
I don't like this.
Two's great but three's a crowd.
Fine. I have homework
to do anyways.
Bye, lovebirds.
Bye, Denny.
So, what's his
relationship to you guys?
Oh, no. No, no, no.
Can I help you?
Yeah, can I have a dozen
red roses, please?
Oh, hi, Johnny, I didn't
know it was you.
Who doesn't recognize that guy?
Here you go.
That's me.
How much is it?
It'll be $18.
Here you go. Keep the change.
Hi, doggie!
You're my favorite customer.
Thanks a lot. Bye.
Nobody wanted to help me.
And I'm dying.
You're not dying, Mom.
I got the results
of the tests back.
I definitely have
breast cancer.
It never comes back.
I don't know why I say that.
Is it-is it just me,
or is this kinda bad?
Oh, yeah, it's bad.
It's still going?
Why, Lisa? Why, Lisa?
Please talk to me, please!
You're part of my life.
You're everything.
You are lying.
I never hit you.
You are tearing me apart, Lisa!
Why are you so hysterical?
Do you understand why?
Do you?
Where's my money?
Where's my fucking
money, Denny?!
Get off Denny!
You have no idea what kind of
trouble you're in here, do you?
I owe him some money.
What kind of money?
What kind of money?
Go. Go deep!
I did not hit her.
It's not true.
It's bullshit.
I did not hit her.
I did naaht.
Oh, hi, Mark.
Don't touch me, Mark.
Get out.
Stop it!
I kill you!
I break every bone in your body!
You betray me.
You're not good.
You're just chicken.
Cheep cheep cheep cheep
Get out of my house.
It's not over.
Everybody betray me.
I'm fed up with this world.
Hey, Tommy.
They hate it.
I know.
I know, they're...
They're just-
they're just laughing.
Yeah, they're laughing.
Laughing at me.
Maybe it's true, you know.
Maybe everybody right, maybe...
Maybe I just big joke.
Ha ha.
Come on, Tommy.
I tried to open my heart,
show them my soul, and...
they just hate me.
Even you hate me, Greg.
Hey, hey, hey.
Listen to me, all right?
All right, that thing up there?
That's your movie.
You made that.
All right, like you said,
you did that all by yourself.
You know how special that is?
Hey, it's fucking incredible.
How many people can say
they've done something like that?
I don't know.
And yeah, maybe it didn't turn out
exactly as you hoped.
But just listen for a second.
Sound like they're loud.
All right, come here.
Look how much fun
they're having.
They fucking love it, man.
Why, Lisa? Why? Why?
How often do you think Hitchcock
got a response like this?
You bitch!
You bitch!
Why you help me?
'Cause we're friends.
Why is this happening to me?
Here we go!
It's over.
Do it!
Do it!
Do it!
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
Tommy! Tommy! Tommy!
Tommy! Tommy!
Go, man!
I'm glad you like my
comedic movie!
Exactly how I intended.
You know...
I have vision for this movie.
I never make this movie...
without my friend.
We followed our dream.
Come down here, Babyface!
Come on, Babyface!
I never be able to make this
movie without my best friend.
We do it together.
The Room!
Can I help you?
Yeah, can I have a dozen
red roses, please?
Oh, hi, Johnny,
I didn't know it was you.
Everything goes wrong at once.
Nobody wants to help me.
And I'm dying.
I can't talk right now.
Why, Lisa? Why, Lisa?
Please talk to me, please!
You are part of my life.
You are everything.
I could not go on
without you, Lisa.
I mean, the candles...
the music...
the sexy dress, I mean...
what's going on here?
You're not dying, Mom.
I got the results
of the tests back.
I definitely have breast cancer.
You have nice legs, Lisa.
You have nice pecs.
Ha ha ha.
I'm tired.
I'm wasted.
I love you, darling.
Come on, make love to me.
Come on, you owe me one.
I love you, Lisa.
Gee, Peter, you're clumsy.
Ah, that's it, I'm done.
Great idea, Denny.
I like you.
Very much.
Lover. Boy.
What are you doing this for?
What's the matter?
Don't you like me?
I'm your girl.
Johnny's my best friend.
You're gonna be married
next month, come on!
You're scaring me.
You are lying, I never hit you.
You are tearing me apart, Lisa!
Why are you so hysterical?
Do you understand why?
Do you?
I did not hit her.
It's not true.
It's bullshit.
I did not hit her.
I did naaaht.
Oh, hi, Mark.
This is the rhythm
of the night
The night
Oh yeah
The rhythm of the night
This is the rhythm of my life
My life
Oh, yeah
The rhythm of my life
You could put some
joy upon my face
Oh, sunshine in
an empty place
Take me to turn to
And babe I'll make you stay
Oh, I can ease
you of your pain
Feel you give me love again
Round and round we go
Each time I hear you say
This is the rhythm
of the night
The night
Oh, yeah
The rhythm of the night
This is the
rhythm of my life
My life
Oh, yeah
The rhythm of my life
Won't you teach me how
to love and learn
There'll be nothing
left for me to yearn
Think of me and burn
And let me hold your hand
I don't wanna face
the world in tears
Please think again,
I'm on my knees
Sing that song to me
No reason to repent
I know you wanna say it
This is the rhythm
of the night
The night
Oh, yeah
The rhythm of the night
This is the
rhythm of my life
My life
Oh, yeah
The rhythm of my life
This is the rhythm
of the night
The night
Oh, yeah
The rhythm of the night
This is the
rhythm of my life
My life
Oh, yeah
The rhythm of my life
This is the rhythm
of the night
This is the rhythm
of the night
Rhythm of the night
This is the rhythm
of the night
This is the rhythm
of the night
The night
Oh, yeah
The rhythm of the night
This is the
rhythm of my life
My life
Oh, yeah
The rhythm of my life
This is the rhythm
of the night
The night
Oh, yeah
The rhythm of the night
This is the
rhythm of my life
My life
Oh, yeah
The rhythm of my life
This is the rhythm
of the night
The night
Oh, yeah
The rhythm of my life
This is the rhythm
of the night
Hey, how you doing?
Hi, feeling fine. Why you ask?
Why you standing
against the wall?
Look, I just a guy leaning
on wall, no big deal.
Why you so lonely, tell me.
What? I'm just standing here alone.
Don't mean I'm lonely.
You need help.
I-I see it.
It's not pity party.
It's just party.
You wanna go with me?
Go where?
To my house.
I'm not going anywhere with you.
You think you have long hair,
you own the world?
That's the idea?
I stop you,
I stop you right there.
What is this accent?
It sound familiar.
You from New Orleans?
Yeah, so what?
What the part?
I love New Orleans.
You know where Chalmette?
Okay, cool.
You wanna drink or something?
No, I'm not-
I'm not thirsty either.
I just want to stand here.
What's your name, hmm?
Tommy, right?
My name Tommy, with capital
Go Away.
It's okay.
Have a nice one.
Okay. Bye!
People are very
strange this day.
Oh, hi, Betty.
My God.
What these friends Greg have.