The Dogfather (2010) Movie Script

Today is the day I've been
waiting for my whole life.
A made man.
Boss of bosses.
And with you by my side,
we will control everything.
Nothing will stop us.
Hey, boss. You ready?
Let's go.
Why are you wearing your hat
in the house again?
Don Tazio, my brother.
Today you become one of us.
Today we come together... welcome our brother
Don Tazio Nuvolari into our family.
Don Tazio and I go back many years
in this racket and I am certain...
Looks like a tasty meatball.
...that honouring him today,
which he deserves...
...he will make us proud
to call him our brother.
So it is with great pleasure that
I introduce you to our new brother...
...Don Tazio Nuvolari.
I'm happy to be here today
among my brothers.
I promise to you to be a good
Don and make lots of money.
I offer you my complete
dedication... expand our business
ventures all over the...
My ring.
My ring!
Sonny, I never thought it would be
you who would turn on me.
You know how much
that ring means to me.
Give it back and you live.
But you're no longer
a member of this family.
Boys! Get me that ring back,
alive or dead!
Hey, Sonny, where you going?
Get back here, Sonny!
Hey, Sonny!
Okay! Come on, hurry! Come on!
Let's get him! He went out the
door! Get him! Get him! Get him!
He's up the stairs!
Hurry up, you lug!
Sonny, get over here!
Sonny, come back!
Sonny! Slow down!
You want a cracker?
Come on, Sonny!
- Sonny!
I got him, Vinny!
I got him!
Get back here, Sonny!
Get over here! Sonny!
You see him?
- No! Where is he?
- I don't know.
- Sonny!
- Keep looking.
- Sonny! Here, boy!
He got away, boss.
My father gave me that ring
40 years ago.
And just like that...'s gone.
Sonny just became enemy number one.
You find me that dog,
bring me back that ring...
...or the two of you will become
enemy number two and number three!
- Hey, Vin.
- What?
Do you think I would be enemy
number two or number three?
It's nothing serious, is it?
Well, he has a weak heart.
Is he going to be all right?
I mean, he has to be all right.
He's not going to...
- Christine...
I know. I just...
I watch those hospital dramas...
...and terrible things happen
in those shows every episode.
He's going to be all right.
He's perfectly fine otherwise.
He just has to be careful
not to exert himself too much.
We can do careful.
Can't we, Josh?
I guess.
Think class.
Who knows the answer?
Josh, you know the answer.
You know every answer.
Is Josh Franks the only one that
brought his brain to school today?
I brought mine too,
Miss Carrington.
- Yes, Dino?
- The answer is eight.
Just ignore him.
- Thanks.
Thank you, Dino.
Now, I have one more issue I'd
like to discuss. Class president.
Dino, you've been elected
president every year unopposed...
...since you've been
at the school.
So this year,
to make it all the more fun...
...I'd like to personally
appoint someone in the class... run as well.
Someone with all the qualities
to make a great class president.
Josh Franks.
Brian, you've outdone yourself
this time.
Model's done then?
Not yet, sir.
Well, then why are you just
standing there...
...smiling at the blueprint?
- Well, because...
- Because it better be that good...
...or you'll be designing
igloos in Alaska.
It's cold in Alaska.
So where do we start looking
for him?
The nearest pounds.
Dog pounds? No way. He's probably
in the witness protection already.
What? You don't think
he's talking to the Feds?
He's a dog, birdbrain.
He could still point to a photo.
Let's just stick with
the nearest dog pounds, okay?
- Good idea.
- I know it's a good idea.
That's why we're partners.
Watch the hair, all right?
Put your seatbelt on.
Class president...
Class President Josh Franks
will now take the stage!
You know you can't do that,
- It's so much fun, Dad.
- I know, but your heart.
I know. My heart.
My terrible, weak, oh-so-tender
ache-y break-y heart.
Don't you ever do that...
No, the fake falling
to the ground thing.
Can't say "die" can you?
No. I guess I can't.
Well, I'm not dead
and I don't plan on being...
...until I'm at least
150 years old.
Well, okay. Then you should
have been a turtle.
Just once I'd like to run around
the block as fast as I can.
Well, you can't.
It's not fair.
Come on. Josh!
Hey, Buddy.
What's wrong?
Dad. That's what's wrong.
He won't let me play anything
fun like all my friends do.
You heard what the doctor said.
Very little physical activity
for you.
It's not fair.
Josh, look,
I know this isn't easy...
...but what about it don't
you understand?
That's what I don't understand.
He is not happy with you.
It's for his own good.
What do you want me to do?
You've got to let him live
a little.
Let him burn his hand on
the stove or fall off his bike...
...or break his leg or something.
The doctor wants us to
treat him this way.
I'm just afraid that
he's going to miss growing up... every other
12-year-old boy.
And he's going to
resent you for it.
Brian, he needs you.
Don't lose him.
- Okay.
But what am I supposed
to do then?
Well, maybe we could get him
a little baby brother or sister.
Are you insane?
He needs a playmate. Or a...
A dog!
Dad, you're the best dad ever!
Thanks. Now, remember
I said small, old dog.
Emphasis on "old."
Hey, little guy.
Dad, what about this one?
Really? That one? That's about
the ugliest dog I've ever seen.
Well, I think he's adorable.
Just like you.
Fine. But he has to sit
in the back seat, not the front.
With all that jewellery on,
he could blind me.
Welcome to the family, Sonny.
We're here about a dog.
Wow. Really? A dog?
That's strange this,
is a dog pound.
- Let's go.
- I ain't going back there.
What are you worried about?
They're in cages.
They better be!
What are you in here for?
- Gettin' caught.
This one looks like my ex-wife.
Yeah! Yeah, it does.
Look, Sonny ain't in here.
Let's get out of here.
Where you going?
That thing looks like
it wants to eat us.
What's wrong? The poor little
doggies scare you?
- No, we're just gonna go check...
- Woof!
I think he likes you.
And he's smart, too.
Aren't you, boy?
Come on, boy! Come on!
Come on, buddy.
This is your new home.
- How about a little help, please?
- Come on, boy, come on!
Sorry, honey.
Brad Pitt's on The Ellen Show.
I'm going to go show
Sonny my room.
Come on.
Do you want Sonny
to help you with that?
Are you sure that's
enough food for Sonny?
Really funny, babe.
Come here, Sonny.
Come get your food.
Dad, I don't think Sonny likes
to eat off the floor.
Why don't we just let him eat
at the table like a normal family?
Okay. There is absolutely no way...
...that dog is ever going to be
eating dinner at the table with us.
Maybe he'd like to try a meatball.
Maybe he wants some cheese.
That's ridiculous. Dogs don't
eat cheese on their food.
Sonny, would you like
some cheese?
Wow. He sure likes Italian.
He stays in the garage
and that's all there is to it.
You wouldn't put your own son
in the garage.
My own son doesn't pee
on the floor.
He won't pee in the house, Dad.
I promise.
You... are... staying... in..
the... garage... and that's...
You hate me, don't you?
Why are you so sore?
Gee, I don't know.
Maybe it's from when my face
flattened like a pancake...
...on the floor or perhaps from
my perfect 10 gymnastic butt flip...
...I did at the front door.
Well, I have seen you score
much higher.
It was funny.
Tell that to every screaming
bone in my body.
He is cute, though,
don't you think?
And Josh absolutely loves him.
Yeah, I suppose.
But he's mean to me.
Come on.
It's just his way of
showing you affection.
It's either that or
peeing on you.
Yeah, well, he better improve
or I'm going to take him back.
You will do no such thing.
I have two weeks to make sure my
design for the new complex works.
I cannot finish that model with
a dog running around the house.
Well, then why don't you work
in the back room?
No one will bother you in there,
including me.
So now I'm in the back room and
Sonny gets to stay in the house.
You said that you needed time alone
to work and that is the best place.
Sonny gets the run of the house
and I'm stuck in the back room.
This is so unfair.
I know.
- Here it is.
- What?
Brian, that is not a doghouse,
it's a... a prison.
Besides, Sonny likes it
in the house.
He'll like his own house better.
Don't you dare order that thing.
Josh will be devastated and I...
...I'll change the locks.
- You're going to lock Sonny out?
- No, I'm going to lock you out.
Bless you.
- Thank you.
How can you say
he doesn't like you?
Now, turn that computer off
and go to sleep.
Good night.
Josh, time to wake up
for school!
It's you! Of course.
You can't be hungry...
...because you ate practically
all the meatballs last night.
Frankly, I'm surprised
you don't need to take a huge...
No. Come on. Come on.
No, no, no. Somewhere else, please.
Now we're talking.
That one looks particularly
good on you.
Pretty? Old, too.
Could be important to someone.
- Where did you find it?
- In Sonny's poop.
I'll let you look after that.
Thanks, but you're still
getting the dog house.
Give me a break.
He brought you the newspaper.
Maybe he could read it to me.
Mom, could I take Sonny out
to the park after breakfast?
No, sweetie, you're going to be
late for school. Daddy will do it.
I have a hair appointment. I have
to take a shower and do my hair.
You've got to do your hair
so you can go to the salon...
...and get your hair done?
- Yeah.
Don't look at me that way.
It's not my rule,
it's the law, okay?
That was easy.
Sonny. Whoa, Sonny.
Whoa, Sonny. Whoa, boy.
Sonny. Whoa, Sonny!
Whoa, Sonny.
Whoa, boy.
Whoa, Sonny.
Hey, Josh.
Hi, Olivia. What's up?
Well, I was just thinking.
I'm not doing much these days
except way too much homework...
...every sport imaginable,
piano lessons, ballet...
...annoying my parents
for a cell phone...
...and wanting
a horse of my very own.
So I was wondering if I could be
your campaign manager, you know...
...for class president?
You'd want to do that for me?
Sure. I just don't want that
Dino Viviano to win it again.
Thanks. I'll need all the help
I can get to beat him.
Don't worry. I'm really good
at this sort of stuff.
- Wow.
- Told you.
I'm already getting calls from the
President for the next election.
Hey. Whose monster is that?
Mine. We just got him.
He's way too ugly to be a dog.
Takes one to know one.
Hey, I've got a dog, too,
you know. His name's Rocky.
Well, mine is named Sonny.
Yeah, that kind of would suit
an ugly dog.
Say what you want but
he's really cool and super smart.
Well, Rocky can do
all sorts of tricks...
...and he's way prettier
and cooler than that... thing.
He's not a thing.
He's our family pet.
Well, you do know what they say
about family members, don't you?
They all look alike.
Okay, listen up, class.
Tomorrow is Show and Tell day.
So I need you to bring something
unique to class that you love...
...and that you'd like to share,
Hey. Nice form.
- Any luck?
- Nah. These dogs all look the same.
What was that for?
Madon, she's beautiful.
Not the lady, you moron.
The dog. That's Sonny. Let's go.
Now I'll never get him home.
Pardon me.
Pardon me.
Do you know him?
No. I think he just likes
the exercises I'm doing.
I think you're right.
Have a nice day.
Over the rock!
Over the rock!
Are you guys okay? I'm so sorry.
Yeah, yeah. No problem.
We was just playing with the dogs.
- Messing around with the mutts.
- Okay.
Well, guess it did look
kind of fun.
It was a freakin' blast.
Well, glad you're both okay.
Got to go.
Love the underwear.
Got a pair just like 'em.
Nice guy.
I need a pair of them shorts.
There you are.
All right.
Thanks for walking me
home, Josh.
It's on my way.
No, it isn't.
Yeah, you're right.
Hey, have you ever played
laser tag before?
No way!
You got the game?
I have something better, though.
Want to see it?
- You're late.
- Sorry...
...but I brought a new recruit.
- Do we need to train him first?
No, he's gone through
my vigorous training camp already.
He's combat ready.
All right.
Duder, show us what you got.
Prepare for war.
Just pretend you know
what you're doing.
Don't worry. I've got a million of
them. My mom works at the company.
So you want me to teach you how to
really get the best out of them?
Just the two of us?
Don't be silly. Dream team.
Ten hut!
Yes, fearless leader.
Meet my unit.
This is Captain Crunch...
...General Electric...
Private Property...
Colonel Sanders and, finally...'ve already meet the most
dangerous member of our unit...
...Officer Mac. She's really
my kid sister, Rose.
Prepare for combat.
Let's rumble.
- What happened?
- We were attacked by dogs.
Yeah, every day this week.
I'm running out of clothes.
- Was one of them Sonny?
- Yeah. That's why we went back.
Finally today he shows up
but he's got a whole new crew.
And they kept attacking us
every time he, you know...
...barked orders at them.
He's already started
another family.
Where is he?
- We lost him, boss.
We got squa-douche.
- Squa-what?
Squa-douche. You know, boss,
nothin'. We got nothin', boss.
I don't want to see you two again
unless you bring me back Sonny.
- Understood, boss.
- Yeah.
- Understood.
Anything else?
Actually, I'm a little bit hungry.
Do you think it would be okay
if maybe I had a bite of something?
You know what, I'm good.
Get out of here, you bums!
I'm surrounded by bums!
I love you too, honey. Yeah.
Did you see that?
He's trying to kill me.
Please, he's smarter than that.
He'd torture you first
and then kill you, silly.
Fine. Be that way, but he's up to
something. Something evil.
Brian, go back to sleep before
I help him. Ruff, ruff, ruff.
- Fine.
- That's a good boy.
You know what?
This just might work.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Where's Sonny?
You tied him to a tree.
That's original.
It's just until the dog house
Brian, that is not nice. Don't you
think you owe him an apology?
The dog?
No, the tree. Of course, the dog.
He has feelings, too, you know.
Fine. But he has to apologize
to me first.
For what?
For trying to kill me
while I was sleeping last night.
You're being ridiculous.
It's here.
Come on, fellas. This way.
Come on.
That's it.
Going around over there.
Just follow me.
Okay. Yes.
You're going to love this.
What do you think?
Pretty nice?
Hey, Sonny.
What on earth are you doing?
I am trying to get that beast
into its new home.
In your underwear?
You call that a home?
It's as nice a home to a dog
as our house is to us.
Really? Well, let's find out.
You sleep in it 'cause Sonny's not
going anywhere near that thing.
- Yes, he is.
- No, he isn't.
Great. Now you've upset Josh.
Brian, what did I tell you?
Don't lose him.
Dad, can you help mom bring
in the groceries?
Yeah. Sorry, I just woke up.
Don't worry, honey. Sonny's doing
a great job on his own.
In your dreams.
have you seen the remote?
Honey, did you find the...
That's so sweet. You lose the
remote and Sonny finds it for you.
I, for one, am very glad that
he's here to help us all.
Of course you know,
this means war.
You hungry?
Dog food's still not your thing.
Well, what can I give you?
Peanut butter.
Here. Try this.
It's good?
I figure you should be done
licking that from your mouth... this time next year.
What is wrong?
He took my toilet paper!
Why would he do that?
Because he's out to torture me
before he kills me, remember?
Yes, with his fangs, right?
Josh, hurry! You're going to be
late for Show and Tell day.
- All right.
- Bye.
Bye, Sonny!
Come on, Rocky. Rocky.
Come on.
Come on, Dino.
Hey, Dad. Why are you taking me
to school today?
'Cause I'm the luckiest dad
in the world.
That's why.
Why are you going with Rocky?
- Show and Tell today at school.
- Hey! Watch the seats back there!
That's Sicilian leather.
Where did you get this?
- Some kid in my class named Josh.
That's his stupid dog.
Hey. Don't talk like that. I'll get
these back to you after school.
Put your seatbelt on!
Look at this. My kid brought it
home from school.
Now, I think that this is Sonny.
Of course that's Sonny.
Did you see the necklace
with his name on it?
Yeah, but, you know,
but it could be another dog.
I think you're starting to put too
much sugar in your Kool-Aid.
It's starting to fry
that bird brain of yours!
Do you really think
there's two dogs named Sonny...
...both wearing gold necklaces
with their name on it?
- It's possible.
- Yeah.
So is you losing a little bit of
weight there, pork chop...
...but not likely.
Let's go.
- Was that you behind those posters?
- Yep.
- You've been busy.
- Yeah. My mom says I'm half beaver.
Is that Sonny?
- Yeah.
Very cute.
Keep that vicious thing away from
my poor Rocky.
Sonny is not vicious.
Your dog is the one growling.
- Whatever, loser.
Why don't you go play with your
imaginary friends, Dino?
Now you've got your girlfriend
defending you?
Double loser.
- I heard that, Dino Vino.
It's Viviano!
- There he is right there.
- I told you.
I told you we'd find Sonny!
Watch the hair. Watch the hair.
Forget about your hair,
we found Sonny!
Is that a parrot?
- I don't know.
- Let's get him.
There you go.
You got to be kidding me.
Are you okay?
No. I'm not okay.
In fact, I'm so far from okay I may
never get back to being okay again.
He was just excited to see you.
That four-pawed mouthful of
Niagara Falls drool has got to go.
Sorry, Dad.
I'll take him upstairs.
No. Go. Gone.
As in leave this house.
It's just a model.
That model helps pay for this house
and your clothes and your toys.
And I cannot complete this model
with Sonny around.
That's why he has to go.
I know. You don't have to get me
anymore toys. I'll just keep Sonny.
Buddy, it's a little more
complicated than that, okay?
He needs to go.
Sonny is my best friend.
I'm sorry, Sonny. I don't know
why dad doesn't like you.
If only he could understand that
you're a part of our family now.
You're the little brother
I never had.
If I lose you, I'll always
cherish the memories.
Well, we've only known
each other a couple of weeks.
But it's been the best
couple of weeks of my life.
No matter who adopts you,
you'll always be my little brother.
I love you, Sonny.
You need to start treating Sonny
like a member of this family.
That is what he wants.
And that is what Josh needs.
Look out there.
Do you see the happiness
Sonny has brought upon Josh?
That mutt is destroying
this family.
No, Brian, you're destroying
this family.
By the way, Sonny stays.
And Josh and I are going
...and we won't be back
'til we max out your credit card.
Come on.
Hey, little guy.
You still love me, don't you?
Just because you got
more teeth than me...
...doesn't mean I'm scared of you.
And I'm in here looking for my golf
clubs if you really want to know.
You can run but you can't hide!
So you think
you can outsmart me...
...while Josh and Christine
aren't around?
Well, we'll just see about...
What's that smell?
You didn't.
This is my house.
And no one, not even some
bug-eyed, slobbering...
...pooing machine like you
is going to get me out of it!
Varmint, today's the day your
tombstone is written.
What the...
Sonny, are you all right?
Brian! Brian!
Honey, honey, are you okay?
Honey, honey! Call 911.
Josh, Christine. Hi.
- Sweetie.
- Hi.
Where's Sonny?
I don't know. Wait.
Now I remember. I was...
...I was chasing him with
the whipped cream and...
That's the last thing I remember.
Look at him.
Have your shower already?
Not funny.
Franks residence...
Yes sir, how are...
Well, I...
Can I...
But I...
Well, I...
Can I...
So I... Now, if I...
Then I...
Yes, sir.
This weekend is fine.
Have a nice... Okay.
Now what?
My client, Mr. Cobalt wants to see
the model I've been working on.
- So?
- This weekend.
Thought you were almost finished.
It's going to take me
the rest of the week to finish it.
And they want to come here to see
the model instead of at the office.
Well, then, we've all got our
work cut out for us, don't we?
Mind if I finish breakfast first?
Sonny, he doesn't know it yet...
...but you are the best thing that
has ever happened to this family.
- Great job, honey.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Where are Sonny and Josh?
I sent them on a little errand.
An errand? We have everything.
Well, it's a special errand.
What kind of special errand?
Well, I told Josh that
if he took Sonny to the park...
...during the unveiling
I would give him...
100 dollars.
Do you know how much ice cream you
can get for 100 dollars, Sonny?
That's right. A lot.
Sure are a lot of people here
Guess it's like this every
I'll race you to the other side.
That was a good sangwich
I had for lunch.
- What did you have?
- A saus-eech.
Why didn't you have a meatball?
Forget about meatball sandwich.
Meatball is way better
than a saus-eech.
You telling me you think that...
...a meatball is better than
a saus-eech?
Take one bite of a meatball
...and it falls all over the place.
- A meatball sandwich is way better.
You get two pieces of meat
instead of one.
You get the mozzarella, you get
the ragu, you get the pepper.
Who puts peppers on a meatball?
Peppers go on a saus-eech
and a saus-eech only.
What about a beef?
You can put peppers on a beef.
Absolutely not.
Hot giardiniere!
Hot giardiniere and
peppers is the same thing!
What are you talking about?
I can grow peppers
in my backyard... peppers, green peppers,
yellow peppers.
Where do you grow
the hot giardiniere?
I take the peppers that you're
growing in your backyard...
...I chop them up real nice and
small and I stick 'em in a jar.
I fill that up with oil and salt
and oregano and garlic and... got to have garlic.
- Garlic is good.
And then I top it all off
with pepper!
You put pepper on peppers?
You're a meatball.
Yeah? Well, you're a saus-eech.
A sausage is taller than
a meatball.
Well, a meatball is a lot faster
than a saus-eech.
There's no way that a meatball
is faster than a sausage.
You put a meatball and a saus-eech
at the top of the hill...
...and the meatball is going to get
to the bottom first every time!
Not if the sausage runs over
the meatball and crushes it!
Yeah? Well, one sausage
doesn't stand a chance...
...against two meatballs.
You want a piece of this,
pork chop?
Yes, I do! Come here.
I'm gonna take your saus-eech
and I'm gonna put it...
Watch the hair!
Okay, everyone, if you could
gather around, please?
It's time for the big unveiling.
Mr. Cobalt, I can assure
...what you are about to see will
absolutely blow our competitors...
...out of the water.
...meatballs and make a combo!
Get off of me, meatball head!
Give me the binoculars!
- Why? What?
That's Dino and Rocky!
That is definitely Rocky!
But I'm not sure if it's...
- Come on!
- Okay, hurry up!
Ladies and gentlemen,
it is a great honour... have you all here
today for this event.
Thank you all for coming... the unveiling of the new
downtown Cobalt Complex.
Soon to be the largest
and finest business...
...and shopping complex around.
And now... what you've all
been waiting to see.
Honey, sweetheart. Are you okay?
I'm sorry.
- Daddy...
- Josh?
- Honey?
- My chest hurts.
Josh! Josh, sweetie!
Someone call 911!
Okay. Okay.
Mom's here.
Is he going to be okay?
I think I saw him go around
this corner someplace.
There he is.
There he is.
Sonny. Hey, buddy.
Good to see you again.
You look good.
You lose some weight?
- You look great.
- Man, you look trim.
- You.
- We missed you.
- You.
- We missed you.
You're coming home.
Okay. Come on. Come on.
Careful with my suit.
Don't worry,
he's going to be fine.
Just no more crazy sprinting
after a dog, okay?
I promise.
What did I tell you, Josh?
Honey, can we at least wait 'til
he's dressed to start the lecture?
You're right. I'm sorry, son.
I'll wait outside for you guys.
- Mom?
- Yes, sweetie?
It wasn't Sonny's fault.
We know.
Don't worry.
Sonny? Sonny, where are you?
He's probably just upstairs
waiting for you, honey.
It's that dog.
Sonny has nothing to do
with Josh's condition.
Yes, he does.
He can't help it, he's a dog.
That's what dogs do, they run.
I mean, it is not like we told
Sonny that...
...Josh had a heart condition.
You've got to understand that.
Okay, well, understand this. I just
lost my job because of that animal.
What am I supposed to do now?
You're a great architect.
You'll find another job.
Like designing what,
gas stations in Alaska?
We'll have to sell the house.
Honey, we have enough money
to get by for awhile.
What if I don't find a job
in awhile?
Well, you have always wanted
to open your own design firm...
...and maybe
this is an opportunity.
That thing up there is
the real problem.
Ever since we've had it,
everything has gone wrong.
It has brought nothing
but problems for us.
He has to go before I can
even begin to figure out...
...what we're going to do next.
- He's gone.
You chased him away.
Son, I'm sure he's around here
He must be just outside, honey.
I'm sorry, sir, but there's
nothing in the dog's stomach.
Don Tazio, she's right.
We don't see a ring.
There's not one in there.
Where's that saus-eech you was
talking about?
What are you talking about?
I see a lot of meatballs but
I don't see no saus-eech.
My ring...
I'll never see it again.
Get me my ring back.
Hey. What's wrong?
Campaign pressure getting to you?
It's Sonny. He's missing.
I'm sorry.
I'll help you find him.
We'll never find him.
Everything's going to be okay.
We'll find Sonny.
I don't think so.
My father chased him away...
...and now he's never coming back
because he knows my dad hates him.
Your dad loves you.
He would never hurt you.
Then why would
he get rid of Sonny?
You come here to get
your dog back.
But you don't ask with respect.
You don't offer friendship.
You don't even think
to call me Godfather.
But I'm going to make you
an offer you can't refuse.
Hey, Boss.
- What?
- What do we do now, Boss?
We're going to use
the dog as bait.
Why, you want to go fishing?
Yeah, we're going to go fishing.
For the ring, puddin' head!
I checked the garage, the park,
the pound, nothing.
Honey, we've been up all night
looking for him.
He's just gone.
- He's got to be somewhere.
I knew it. You got rid of him.
I did not, son.
Yes, you did. You hate him.
Josh, calm down.
Your father does not hate Sonny.
- Yes, he does.
- No, he doesn't.
- Yes, he does!
- No, he doesn't.
He's right, Christine.
I do hate him. Well, did.
Well, actually,
I don't really hate him.
I did hate him for a bit there,
but not really.
It's that he and I...
and then he, then I...
...I didn't like Sonny but I see
how happy he makes you...
...and that's
what really matters.
And I want my family
to be happy...
...and I think it's taken
Sonny disappearing for me... realize he really is
a part of our family.
Yes, this is Brian Franks...
Yes, I understand. The lake house
off the old dirt road... One hour.
- So?
- Somebody kidnapped Sonny.
And they want that old ring.
You mean the one we found in his
Yeah. And he said to be there
in an hour or Sonny will be k...
- Killed?
- No.
Actually, the line went all
static-y on me.
I didn't really hear
what they said...
...but I'm sure it wasn't
something good.
What are we going to do?
Well, I think I better do
what they said.
Dad, I want to help save Sonny,
No, Josh, it's my fault.
I'll handle it.
- You shouldn't be going alone.
- They said no police.
I know,
but what are you going to do?
Sweetheart, you pass out
when you give blood.
That's true,
but I can handle this.
Dad, you don't even like Sonny.
But I love you.
Mom, Dad can't save Sonny
by himself.
I know.
But I have an idea.
So do I.
- Emergency. Which service?
- Yes, police, please.
Is that you?
- Josh?
- Yeah.
- Something's wrong, isn't it?
Sonny's been kidnapped.
I need your help.
Come in.
Here goes.
- You got the ring?
- Yes, I've got the ring.
You have the dog?
We got the dog. Come on in.
This the house?
I think so.
Let's move.
Mr. Franks.
Pleasure to meet you.
Is it? Not so sure.
You make it sound like it's the
end for you and the dog. Please...
I can assure you that it won't be.
Just give me back the ring.
I'll give you the ring as soon as
I see that Sonny is alive and well.
Mr. Franks, you're in no position
to make demands.
All right, everyone, this all of
you've been training for.
I want Colonel Saunders to take up
a position on the left...
...Captain Crunch on the right...
...and both of you should
keep an eye out...
...for any escape attempt
by them to the lake.
General Electric and Private
Property will be with Josh...
...and I up front.
- What about Officer Mac here?
She knows what to do. Don't you?
Let's go.
My ring!
I told you to come alone.
- I did. I swear.
Answer the door.
And... be careful.
There's a little girl at the door!
What's the matter, little girl?
Are you lost?
Don't be sad.
It's all right.
Everything's going to be all...
Take that, sucker!
- Don't move.
- Okay.
Get those kids!
Goin', boss!
Hey! Hey! Whoa! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Whoa! Whoa! Come here!
Come here!
Come here!
Get over here, kid!
Come here, you dumb mutt!
Captain Crunch, they're coming.
Get out of there.
Josh! What are you doing here?
Saving Sonny.
And you, too, Dad.
Hey, you!
Gimme that. Let me show you
how to use this thing.
I don't think so.
There's one getting away!
- Joey! Joey!
- Vinny!
These kids are tough!
- Yeah! Let's get out of here!
- The boat!
- Good idea!
Let's go!
They're heading for the boat.
Dream Team,
converge at the dock.
- Hey! Sonny.
- Hey, Sonny!
Come here. Come here. Yeah.
Such a good boy.
I've had enough of you!
- Take it easy, guys
- We can work this out.
- Come on. Take it easy.
- Why don't we talk about this?
Dad, I can't believe
you took a bullet for Sonny.
I took a bullet
for you and Sonny.
Ready? I got 'em!
Vinny, your hair!
Where's my comb?
What? What did I do?
I want my lawyer!
Top crime boss taken down
by a bunch of kids.
This is one for the books.
- Yeah, yeah.
Take it easy!
Get out of here!
Get in there, you meatball!
Hey, hey. Watch the hair.
Your bum's in my face!
Dad, by the way,
this is Olivia... campaign manager and also
commander of the Dream Team Unit...
...that saved you.
Nice to finally meet you,
Mr. Franks.
You are so lucky to have an amazing
kid like Josh here as a son.
And I promise you that... intentions with him are
purely 'tween in nature.
Isn't she great?
How old are you?
Well, in dog years,
I'm one and three quarters.
But in human years I'm twelve.
But, really, it's all relative,
isn't it?
Sonny, I'm so sorry for
everything that's happened.
Can you forgive me?
I'm glad we found you...
...because our family wouldn't be
the same without you.
- Does that mean we can keep him?
- Of course. Sonny's family.
Yes, he is.
Well... I wonder what happened
to that ring.
Good morning, everyone.
- Good morning.
Where's my...
Thanks, Sonny.
- Nice sweater, mom.
- Thank you.
- Right on time.
- Good morning, Olivia.
Morning, everyone.
Would you like the usual?
Sure but I'll take it to go.
Josh and I have a lot of work
to do at school today...
...with his acceptance speech
for class president.
Of course, you do.
So do you think
we should tell Dino that...
...he ran a good campaign
even though he lost?
Nah. I have something better
in mind for him.
You didn't.
Yes, the 'tween years.
You know, I've got to go, too,
or I'll be late for work.
Thanks, honey.
- Bye.
Hey, buddy. Good luck with your
acceptance speech today.
Thanks, Dad. Are you going to be
home for dinner?
I think so. Depends on
how much traffic, of course.
Be careful on your commute.
You know what?
We really are family now,
aren't we?
Good morning, Mr. Franks,
could I offer you a coffee?
Why, thank you, Mrs. Franks.
I'd love some.
I am live on the set of the motion
picture The Dogfather...
...with Sonny the star dog.
- Gabe.
- Pardon me?
The name is Gabe, okay? Get it
right. Sonny's the movie name.
And another thing, I'm not just
a dog. I'm an actor, too.
Okay. Sorry, I'll call you Gabe.
Sonny. I'm in character now so just
call me Sonny. That'll be good.
Okay, so, Sonny, what is it like
playing a dog who doesn't talk?
It's a lot of hard work.
I mean, I have to stretch myself
as an artiste...
...but I think I'm giving
an Oscar-type performance here.
Is it hard not talking on set
for weeks?
It sure is. I mean, I'd like to
give some of these people on set...
...a piece of my mind.
- Like who?
- Everybody...
...the producers, director, the
other dogs and even Chris Parnell.
Wow, it sounds like
there's a lot of problems on set.
Sure is.
First of all, the producers aren't
paying me enough for this role.
- Anything else?
- The director's a total hack job.
I'm practically directing myself.
And the other dogs, they can't
even get their lines right.
Even Chris Parnell,
is he giving you a hard time?
Parnell's going around
telling everybody...
...he's the big star of the movie.
Well, he is, isn't he?
Hey, birdbrain! You can't make a
movie about a dog without a dog.
But, Parnell, he can be replaced.
How is it working
with Chris Parnell?
He's okay. He knows his lines
but his delivery's all wrong.
Plus he's a diva.
He demanded a bigger trailer
than me...
...and spends all day in hair
and makeup.
How much time do you spend
in hair and makeup?
Look at me. I'm perfect. Do I look
like I need hair and makeup?
You look great for a dog.
I look better than you, baldy.
Hey, baldy, I like that.
How about Josh,
is he doing a good job?
He keeps forgetting his lines.
He won't pee in the meatballs.
Josh told us that he often
takes you for walks on set.
Does this look like
he was taking me for a walk?
Bye, Sonny!
How about Joey and Vinny?
They seem cool.
These two clowns?
I just want to rip 'em to shreds!
Is there anything you enjoyed
while filming?
Of course. Lunchtime.
Will you come back for the sequel?
There is no sequel without me.
If the producers pay me
what I deserve, I come back.
Without me, they got squadouche.
Sqadouche, right.
Last question.
Have you made any new friends
on set?
With my personality?
Of course I did.