The Dungeonmaster (1984) Movie Script
1
Late for repair appointment.
Calhoun Information Systems.
Please respond.
Repeat.
Late for repair appointment.
Please respond.
Thanks, Cal.
The trouble's in the CPU.
We had two others out this week.
They leave,
it all goes on the blink.
I got clients
waiting for media quotes,
schedules, it all costs money.
Vent. C-H-N.
How does the world
ever get along without computers?
It won't be long,
Mr. Cahane.
Great.
They told me you were
Xyrex's ace troubleshooter.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, this isn't
going to take long at all.
Oh, thanks, Paul.
Hey, listen, I understand
you did quite a number
over at Winnebe-Cahane today.
Yeah, it was nothing.
Nothing?
God, Im beat.
Hey, look, Paul,
why don't I give you a ride home, huh?
- Come on.
- Don.
You know I run
every day after work.
Hey, it's a way of unwinding
at the end of the day.
You know,
a way of clearing your thoughts.
See, you ought a try it some time.
Look, we-- we could
run together after work.
What do you say?
Run, Paul?
I don't think so.
When the end of the day
comes, all I do,
I want someone to take me home
in a stretcher.
Running, my friend,
is absolutely crazy.
Ill see you tomorrow.
See you later, Don.
Start time noted.
Okay, guys,
that was really nice work.
Please remember
all this for tomorrow
so that we can add it
to what we've got, okay?
Rehearsal four o'clock tomorrow.
Bye.
Hi.
Paul Bradford account.
3-0-7-4-1 Central Branch withdrawal.
$20.
- Hi, Cal.
- Good evening, Paul.
How did the repairs go?
Oh, they went fine.
Yeah, it's becoming too easy.
And how was my time?
Three minutes over yesterday.
Yeah, I guess
I got a lot on my mind.
Account overdrawn.
Yeah, I know.
Ill take care of it in the morning.
Paul?
- Hi.
- Are you going to help, or what?
Oh, you got a lot of stuff.
- You want some help?
- Hurry, hurry.
- You want-- Oh.
- Hurry, hurry.
Hey. Wow.
I only asked for a swordfish.
What, did you buy out the whole store?
Hey, look, I bet you
you have absolutely nothing
in your refrigerator.
Somebody's gotta look after you.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Oh, you owe me $26.
- Ill pay for the wine.
- Um...
- Um...
- I got a Chardonnay 1980.
It goes great with fish--
These are for you.
Oh, Paul.
God, they're beautiful.
Thank you.
I knew something was up
- when I first walked in the door.
- Gwen.
- You were acting really strange--
- Gwen, let's get married.
What?
Let's get married,
I --
Look, it'll-- it'll be perfect, I-- I
talked it over with Cal,
- it all adds up.
- You talked it over with Cal?
- Well, yeah, I--
- Oh, God.
Why did this happen to me?
How did I fall for a guy
whose first love is a machine?
Look, honey, you don't understand.
What I developed with Cal,
it-- it's what gives me an edge.
God, every time
I think about that experiment
that you were involved in
and how you were able to link up.
Hey.
He can't link up the way we can.
Marry?
That is a big step,
Mr. Bradford.
And if Im going
to be Mrs. Bradford,
I want to know exactly how I stand
in relationship to it.
- Oh, not so loud.
- Oh, my God.
- See what I mean?
- Im just kidding.
Look, I-- Im not in love
with my computer,
I am in love with you.
I am.
You're a good cook.
- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
Actually, Cal found
this great recipe
in this metropolitan
art museum magazine.
Mmm.
That's nice of her.
Hey, I forgot dessert.
Oh, Paul, I don't want dessert.
No, you're going to love this.
Okay.
Da-da.
Oh.
Hmm?
So, you like it?
Paul.
I love you.
This thing with Cal
is more than I can live with.
You're consumed
with a passion.
I would just be your wife.
So, what's wrong with that?
Nothing,
except I want more.
I want to be
a part of your life.
You will.
You are.
Come here.
Come on.
- What?
- Sit down.
Cal, check your data
on marriage to men with careers
by women with intelligence,
beauty, and hard heads.
Stop it.
Im not some stupid little kid.
I have just as much
brain power as you do.
Probable outcome, success.
Let's go to bed.
At least that's one place I know
Ill have all of your attention.
Gwen?
Gwen!
Gwen.
Gwen?
Gwen.
Gwen?
Gwen.
- Paul!
- Gwen?
Gwen.
Paul, help me.
Look, let's just--
Let's piece this together, okay?
- Uh--
- Paul, these are real chains.
All right, now,
well, we were asleep...
and, uh...
and I had this dream.
I don't believe this.
You...
are a worthy opponent for Mestema.
Now you have
all power centered on you.
You may call on your machines.
Your magic machines.
Anytime, anywhere
in your world.
Kneel.
By the power
of the prince of darkness!
I dub thee...
Excalibrate.
Rise, Excalibrate.
Excalibrate.
Cal.
X-CaI-BR8.
Mestema
equals Beelzebub, Belial,
Satan.
Excellent.
Yours is a magic
I have never encountered.
Actually, uh...
It's not magic.
Uh...
Its-- Its man's ability
to-- to take science
in order to--
For a thousand years,
I have scoured the Earth
and the ages.
Here and there,
I found a minor challenge.
But now... there is you.
You and your machines.
The new magic.
Now, here is how it will be.
I, Mestema...
have devised seven challenges.
Lose one...
just one...
and I shall have
both your souls.
Paul, what if this thing is real
and we can't get out of here?
Hey, look, uh...
Look, Im Paul Bradford
from Xyrex.
Paul?
Are you there, Paul?
Gwen.
Gwen, Im over here.
Where?
I can't see you.
Just stay put. Ill find you.
But it's cold.
Paul, where are we?
It looks like
Mestema's private art gallery.
Oh, my God, that's Einstein.
Oh, there's Bloody Mary.
What a weird combo.
It looks like Louis XVI.
Isn't he the one
who invented the guillotine?
No.
But he lost his head to one.
Oh, Paul, I don't like this place.
It gives me the creeps.
Yeah.
It looks like every criminal
in the world is here.
Paul?
M-My hands are freezing.
I can't feel a thing.
Just hang in there, Gwen.
I think I see you.
Paul?
My legs are frozen.
I can't move my feet.
Just-- Just keep cool.
- Cool.
- But-- But Paul, Im freezing all over.
Don't leave me here.
Ill be right the--
Paul?
What is it, my dear Gwen?
Would you like me to...
warm you up?
Shall I raise the temperature?
Paul, is that you?
Paul. No!
Paul!
No.
Paul.
- Go.
- Paul, what are we going to do?
Cal?
- No.
- Ice crystal, where's the ice crystal?
What ice crystal?
We're going to die.
Pick.
Your performance was quite good,
Excalibrate.
Where is she?
Where is Gwen?
Trust me.
Yeah, well,
I don't think so, Mestema.
All right, all right,
Ill-- Ill play your game.
You're playing
because you have no choice.
Good point.
Where is Gwen?
Isn't love grand?
No.
Greetings, Excalibrate.
Welcome to my domain.
I am Ratspit,
caretaker of the dead.
- Dead?
- Yes.
I control these discarded husks
that once contained the human soul.
Why am I here?
To test you against that
Death.
Well done.
I commend your abilities.
So, uh...
I met your challenge.
Can I get out of here now?
Gaze upon it.
It is your own death
at the hands of Mestema.
What's this?
You give up so easily?
Not at all.
It comes for you.
You're wrong, Spitrat.
Ratspit.
How-- How is it
that you can destroy that,
which is your own destiny?
That creature
was not my destiny.
Mestema has perceived it.
That thing was only a culmination
of future possibilities.
In a future reality.
I shall destroy you.
I reject your reality
and I substitute my own.
You are a bold adversary.
Oh, my God, Paul.
Gwen, are you okay?
No, Im not okay.
Im having
a very bad dream
and you just happen to be in it.
Lovely creature.
Keep her out of it, Mestema.
Keep her out of it.
Paul, don't push your luck.
Do you fancy music?
This is a piece of my own composing.
You like this noise?
You should have your fill of it.
Paul.
Im a liar
And Im a cheat
I have no morals
And Im a thief
Pillage and plunder
Curse those who enter
I am the killer
And tormentor
Im a sinner
I kiss the breast
I am a sadist
That whips the flesh
Ill beat the women
Take those who enter
You'll be molested
Im tormentor.
No!
Paul!
Paul!
Tormentor
Tormentor
Tormentor
Tormentor
Tormentor.
No!
Congratulations, Excalibrate.
You performed magnificently.
Now, let us
continue our conversation.
We've got nothing to talk about.
Nonsense.
We have arts,
history, myths,
love, hate, magic.
Yeah, well,
I only talk about those things
with people, Mestema.
- Paul, be careful.
- You know what you are?
You're the lowest of the low.
You use people
for your own... entertainment.
Your own little whims and fancies.
You're an egotistical, overbearing--
That is no way
to penetrate this barrier.
It is the strength
of a million souls.
The power of the dead.
Oh, Paul.
You have spirit, woman.
Why waste your tender youth?
Your supple body?
He is a mere child.
Not from where Im standing.
It looks like you got more
than you bargained for.
How... quaint.
Alert.
Alert.
Hey!
Sensing presence of occult power.
Scanning data bank.
Tammock, origin lndonesia.
Do you really know this man?
I have a proposition for you,
Excalibrate.
Your freedom for, uh...
So, that's it?
Paul, he wouldn't.
Not even one minute even consider.
- Would you, Paul?
- Say the word, and it ends.
The word is, "Forget it."
Let me see, let me think.
What would tempt you?
I offer you freedom.
And wealth sufficient
to create your own empire.
In return...
I'd say I know him
pretty well, Mestema.
Oh?
Foul.
Three for one, my best offer.
Yours, for as long as
you can tolerate the ecstasy.
Paul?
Good try, Mestema.
Yeah, damn good try.
You're a fool!
I don't think so.
Anyway, you know what they say.
"There's no fool like an old fool."
Excalibrate.
Im touched by your grief.
But you have no time to waste.
The paper you read
is tomorrow's headline.
Your Gwen is alive.
For now.
You have one hour
to find and save her
from his cold, sharp blade.
Get my point?
Accessing police files.
Want to tell me
what you're doing here?
What we got here?
- Huh, come here, turn around.
- Look, I know
this doesn't look very good,
but I can explain.
Sure, like Halloween, right?
- Look--
- Freeze.
- We got a body.
- Put your hands behind your back,
- come on, lean over.
- Hold on, hold on.
- Freeze.
- Come on, get the cuffs on him.
- Come on.
- Guys, you don't understand.
There's going to be
another murder.
Come on,
we gotta stop it.
5-Adam-49, requesting supervisor
and back-up units
in an alley
behind 304 West 21st.
So, what are you supposed to be
in that outfit?
Gumby?
I wonder where Pokey is.
- Yeah.
- Listen, that reminds me,
Lucille's sister is coming into town
this weekend.
Gwen?
- Gwen!
- Hey!
- Hey, hey, shut up!
- Gwen!
What do you think
you're doing back there, my friend?
- Yeah, go ahead.
- Uh...
Yeah.
This costume's kind of itchy.
- Yeah?
- You guys got a back scratcher on you?
Hey, you're a funny guy.
Now, shut up.
So, what's this you're reading?
Officer
What's it about?
- A future.
- And this book tells you the future?
- Get out.
- 10-4, stand by.
Ouch!
This car's got a bumpy ride.
You guys
could use some new shocks.
What am I eating?
- What?
- What am I eating?
- Donuts.
- What kind of donuts?
Officer
I hate jelly donuts, man.
Officer
Officer
Shut up.
This thing's kind of drafty.
Shut up.
Officer
You're somethin'.
I ask for any kind of plain donut,
you give me a jelly donut.
Yo, where'd he go?
How'd he get
out of here?
Julie Waters, age 23,
actress.
Oh, let me help
you with these.
Oh, no, thanks.
I-- I got 'em.
- You're a performer.
- Yeah, Im late.
Good luck.
Probable location
vacant lot, 654 South Swall Dr.
7/10ths of a mile.
Abandoned auditorium location,
2133 Lexington.
Vacant lot.
Auditorium.
- Dancing.
- The distance...
...is 1 .1 miles.
ETA, five minutes.
Suspect seen headed east--
...on 5th Street. All units respond.
Are they still holding
the auditions?
Hurry, they just finished.
- Hey.
- There's going to be a murder,
call the police.
Sixty seconds
to challenge termination.
Oh, my God, Paul.
- Are you okay?
- Oh, God, he tried to kill me.
I-- He followed me to the audition,
and then afterwards,
I was getting dressed, and I--
I got the part.
L got the part.
Five seconds
to challenge termination.
- Hey, did you see what I saw?
- Nope.
Me neither.
Paul, I don't think
I can go through this anymore.
We'll make it.
Look, when this is all over,
what if he doesn't let us go?
Trust me.
Paul,
I think we're missing something.
This whole contest thing,
there's more in it for him
or else he would've just zapped us.
What is that word,
"zapped?"
Its a magic word, Mestema.
If I were to zap you.
Hear me, Baal-baelum.
Hear me, incubus Astaroth.
Abbadon, Mammon.
If I so wished,
it would destroy you.
Great.
Paul?
No.
No way, Mestema.
- You can forget it.
- Paul?
Im gonna regret this.
Warning,
thermonuclear activity.
Paul!
Gwen?
So, this is the challenge, huh?
Do I even need
the computer for this?
I suppose
this is my idea, right?
Scan reflection, program rendered.
A totally unstable
condition exists.
The chances
of hitting the target
with a controlled strike
are zero.
You didn't listen.
You would've won
by simply walking out of the cave.
I didn't know.
I had no idea.
I, too, transgressed,
and was banished to this cave.
Im sorry.
Lf there's something...
Anything I can do...
You've done it.
Yeah.
I remember when I was a lad.
We found a cat.
It was scavenging
in an alley.
We covered it in cold tar.
Except for the face and the eyes.
And then we lit the tail.
What a sight.
I shall never forget it.
A howling torch,
streaking across a field.
It turned and spun
in a series
of wild gyrations and leaps.
And finally...
into a twitching mass.
Its insides burst forth
in wet sputters.
Its eyes bulged
to the size
and the brilliance of agates.
Animals can be such fun.
Ahimsa.
Where did you
hear that word?
Ahimsa.
Respect for every living being.
For every creature
that can feel.
What conceit,
what hypocrisy.
You mortals think
you are so full of heart
and soul
and love and kindness.
You think your god
looks down on you
with tenderness and mercy?
You're mistaken, my friend.
It is humanity,
not the devil,
that is red in tooth and claw.
It is your god
that rains down terror on you.
You have no heart
and no soul, Mestema.
And that's why
you're bored.
That's why
your immortality is Hell.
Prepare for the end.
Alone at last.
Yeah,
like the last people on Earth.
Well, at least
you're not chained to the rock.
Nice outfit.
Yeah, another
Mestema original.
Where are we?
Cal?
Scan communication frequencies.
See if you can find out where we are.
- Scanning.
- Hey, don't leave me.
Scan shows inhabitants hostile.
Terrific.
Warning,
frequency scan intercepted
by local military.
Military hostile.
What do we do now?
Ask Cal.
Cal, prepare laser mode.
Boy, oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
We got you now.
We got you,
I got him here.
Come on, you guys.
Let's go, let's kill him.
Let's kill him now.
Come on.
Uh... could you guys show us the way
to the Las Vegas Hilton?
Oh.
Let's get him now.
Let's get him.
Let's kill him.
Hey, come on.
Hey.
What is that thing?
Come on, let
me see it, what is it?
I want to kill him,
I want to kill him.
- Cal, still in laser mode?
- Come on, let me see.
- Affirmative.
- What is that?
Give it to me.
Come on, I was here first.
I want to see it.
Come on, give it to me.
Okay,
then Im going to shoot them.
Im gonna shoot
them both.
I want you to give it to--
Come on, come on.
C-Come on.
Cal, three coordinates.
28 degrees x-axis.
1-8-3, 2-8-4, 3-1-6.
Fire.
Paul,
do you know where you're going?
The Las Vegas Hilton?
Oh, boy.
Oh, my God.
Its the little guy.
Why, you little creep.
Yee-haw!
All right, Mestema,
enough is enough.
Hey, what are you doing?
Good shot, huh?
Whoo.
What is it?
We're out of control.
Cal, what's going on?
Remote control.
Well, jam the signal.
Override the remote.
Remote control
is not conventional.
Mestema.
Sensors show second vehicle.
- Trajectory...
- Paul.
...Identical to yours.
Opposite direction.
Mestema!
The game is over.
You call this
a contest, Mestema?
I do all the fighting
while you sit around
like some fat overlord
waiting to see how I fare.
A real contest
is one man against one man.
But then, you've never been
in a real battle before.
You have spirit.
And all you have is your magic.
My magic is powerful.
All powerful.
It can do anything!
Except relieve you
of your boredom.
I have seen
a thousand plagues.
A thousand wars.
And I will be here
when you are dust.
So, you finish me off, then what?
Another thousand years
of boredom?
Mestema,
I know what you want.
But you're not going to get it
sitting on the sidelines
watching some worthy opponent
have all the fun.
Only mortals who risk losing
can know real excitement.
I, the Excalibrate,
challenge you to a real contest.
You have some trick
up your sleeve, eh?
One man against one man.
In this arena.
No magic.
No tricks.
Paul, he's a giant.
You can't possibly win.
It is a trick,
I know it's a trick.
Trust me.
What are the conditions?
What are the rules?
No rules,
except that we go free.
Get up!
Yes. Get him!
No!
Cal!
- You okay?
- Yeah.
Oh, God.
Oh, we're home.
- Yeah.
- We won.
Hello, Paul. Im back.
Im not so sure.
Yes.
- Yes?
- Let's get married.
Let's get what?
Well, I talked it over with Cal
and it all adds up.
Paul, is that you?
Paul?
Mestema!
Late for repair appointment.
Calhoun Information Systems.
Please respond.
Repeat.
Late for repair appointment.
Please respond.
Thanks, Cal.
The trouble's in the CPU.
We had two others out this week.
They leave,
it all goes on the blink.
I got clients
waiting for media quotes,
schedules, it all costs money.
Vent. C-H-N.
How does the world
ever get along without computers?
It won't be long,
Mr. Cahane.
Great.
They told me you were
Xyrex's ace troubleshooter.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, this isn't
going to take long at all.
Oh, thanks, Paul.
Hey, listen, I understand
you did quite a number
over at Winnebe-Cahane today.
Yeah, it was nothing.
Nothing?
God, Im beat.
Hey, look, Paul,
why don't I give you a ride home, huh?
- Come on.
- Don.
You know I run
every day after work.
Hey, it's a way of unwinding
at the end of the day.
You know,
a way of clearing your thoughts.
See, you ought a try it some time.
Look, we-- we could
run together after work.
What do you say?
Run, Paul?
I don't think so.
When the end of the day
comes, all I do,
I want someone to take me home
in a stretcher.
Running, my friend,
is absolutely crazy.
Ill see you tomorrow.
See you later, Don.
Start time noted.
Okay, guys,
that was really nice work.
Please remember
all this for tomorrow
so that we can add it
to what we've got, okay?
Rehearsal four o'clock tomorrow.
Bye.
Hi.
Paul Bradford account.
3-0-7-4-1 Central Branch withdrawal.
$20.
- Hi, Cal.
- Good evening, Paul.
How did the repairs go?
Oh, they went fine.
Yeah, it's becoming too easy.
And how was my time?
Three minutes over yesterday.
Yeah, I guess
I got a lot on my mind.
Account overdrawn.
Yeah, I know.
Ill take care of it in the morning.
Paul?
- Hi.
- Are you going to help, or what?
Oh, you got a lot of stuff.
- You want some help?
- Hurry, hurry.
- You want-- Oh.
- Hurry, hurry.
Hey. Wow.
I only asked for a swordfish.
What, did you buy out the whole store?
Hey, look, I bet you
you have absolutely nothing
in your refrigerator.
Somebody's gotta look after you.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Oh, you owe me $26.
- Ill pay for the wine.
- Um...
- Um...
- I got a Chardonnay 1980.
It goes great with fish--
These are for you.
Oh, Paul.
God, they're beautiful.
Thank you.
I knew something was up
- when I first walked in the door.
- Gwen.
- You were acting really strange--
- Gwen, let's get married.
What?
Let's get married,
I --
Look, it'll-- it'll be perfect, I-- I
talked it over with Cal,
- it all adds up.
- You talked it over with Cal?
- Well, yeah, I--
- Oh, God.
Why did this happen to me?
How did I fall for a guy
whose first love is a machine?
Look, honey, you don't understand.
What I developed with Cal,
it-- it's what gives me an edge.
God, every time
I think about that experiment
that you were involved in
and how you were able to link up.
Hey.
He can't link up the way we can.
Marry?
That is a big step,
Mr. Bradford.
And if Im going
to be Mrs. Bradford,
I want to know exactly how I stand
in relationship to it.
- Oh, not so loud.
- Oh, my God.
- See what I mean?
- Im just kidding.
Look, I-- Im not in love
with my computer,
I am in love with you.
I am.
You're a good cook.
- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
Actually, Cal found
this great recipe
in this metropolitan
art museum magazine.
Mmm.
That's nice of her.
Hey, I forgot dessert.
Oh, Paul, I don't want dessert.
No, you're going to love this.
Okay.
Da-da.
Oh.
Hmm?
So, you like it?
Paul.
I love you.
This thing with Cal
is more than I can live with.
You're consumed
with a passion.
I would just be your wife.
So, what's wrong with that?
Nothing,
except I want more.
I want to be
a part of your life.
You will.
You are.
Come here.
Come on.
- What?
- Sit down.
Cal, check your data
on marriage to men with careers
by women with intelligence,
beauty, and hard heads.
Stop it.
Im not some stupid little kid.
I have just as much
brain power as you do.
Probable outcome, success.
Let's go to bed.
At least that's one place I know
Ill have all of your attention.
Gwen?
Gwen!
Gwen.
Gwen?
Gwen.
Gwen?
Gwen.
- Paul!
- Gwen?
Gwen.
Paul, help me.
Look, let's just--
Let's piece this together, okay?
- Uh--
- Paul, these are real chains.
All right, now,
well, we were asleep...
and, uh...
and I had this dream.
I don't believe this.
You...
are a worthy opponent for Mestema.
Now you have
all power centered on you.
You may call on your machines.
Your magic machines.
Anytime, anywhere
in your world.
Kneel.
By the power
of the prince of darkness!
I dub thee...
Excalibrate.
Rise, Excalibrate.
Excalibrate.
Cal.
X-CaI-BR8.
Mestema
equals Beelzebub, Belial,
Satan.
Excellent.
Yours is a magic
I have never encountered.
Actually, uh...
It's not magic.
Uh...
Its-- Its man's ability
to-- to take science
in order to--
For a thousand years,
I have scoured the Earth
and the ages.
Here and there,
I found a minor challenge.
But now... there is you.
You and your machines.
The new magic.
Now, here is how it will be.
I, Mestema...
have devised seven challenges.
Lose one...
just one...
and I shall have
both your souls.
Paul, what if this thing is real
and we can't get out of here?
Hey, look, uh...
Look, Im Paul Bradford
from Xyrex.
Paul?
Are you there, Paul?
Gwen.
Gwen, Im over here.
Where?
I can't see you.
Just stay put. Ill find you.
But it's cold.
Paul, where are we?
It looks like
Mestema's private art gallery.
Oh, my God, that's Einstein.
Oh, there's Bloody Mary.
What a weird combo.
It looks like Louis XVI.
Isn't he the one
who invented the guillotine?
No.
But he lost his head to one.
Oh, Paul, I don't like this place.
It gives me the creeps.
Yeah.
It looks like every criminal
in the world is here.
Paul?
M-My hands are freezing.
I can't feel a thing.
Just hang in there, Gwen.
I think I see you.
Paul?
My legs are frozen.
I can't move my feet.
Just-- Just keep cool.
- Cool.
- But-- But Paul, Im freezing all over.
Don't leave me here.
Ill be right the--
Paul?
What is it, my dear Gwen?
Would you like me to...
warm you up?
Shall I raise the temperature?
Paul, is that you?
Paul. No!
Paul!
No.
Paul.
- Go.
- Paul, what are we going to do?
Cal?
- No.
- Ice crystal, where's the ice crystal?
What ice crystal?
We're going to die.
Pick.
Your performance was quite good,
Excalibrate.
Where is she?
Where is Gwen?
Trust me.
Yeah, well,
I don't think so, Mestema.
All right, all right,
Ill-- Ill play your game.
You're playing
because you have no choice.
Good point.
Where is Gwen?
Isn't love grand?
No.
Greetings, Excalibrate.
Welcome to my domain.
I am Ratspit,
caretaker of the dead.
- Dead?
- Yes.
I control these discarded husks
that once contained the human soul.
Why am I here?
To test you against that
Death.
Well done.
I commend your abilities.
So, uh...
I met your challenge.
Can I get out of here now?
Gaze upon it.
It is your own death
at the hands of Mestema.
What's this?
You give up so easily?
Not at all.
It comes for you.
You're wrong, Spitrat.
Ratspit.
How-- How is it
that you can destroy that,
which is your own destiny?
That creature
was not my destiny.
Mestema has perceived it.
That thing was only a culmination
of future possibilities.
In a future reality.
I shall destroy you.
I reject your reality
and I substitute my own.
You are a bold adversary.
Oh, my God, Paul.
Gwen, are you okay?
No, Im not okay.
Im having
a very bad dream
and you just happen to be in it.
Lovely creature.
Keep her out of it, Mestema.
Keep her out of it.
Paul, don't push your luck.
Do you fancy music?
This is a piece of my own composing.
You like this noise?
You should have your fill of it.
Paul.
Im a liar
And Im a cheat
I have no morals
And Im a thief
Pillage and plunder
Curse those who enter
I am the killer
And tormentor
Im a sinner
I kiss the breast
I am a sadist
That whips the flesh
Ill beat the women
Take those who enter
You'll be molested
Im tormentor.
No!
Paul!
Paul!
Tormentor
Tormentor
Tormentor
Tormentor
Tormentor.
No!
Congratulations, Excalibrate.
You performed magnificently.
Now, let us
continue our conversation.
We've got nothing to talk about.
Nonsense.
We have arts,
history, myths,
love, hate, magic.
Yeah, well,
I only talk about those things
with people, Mestema.
- Paul, be careful.
- You know what you are?
You're the lowest of the low.
You use people
for your own... entertainment.
Your own little whims and fancies.
You're an egotistical, overbearing--
That is no way
to penetrate this barrier.
It is the strength
of a million souls.
The power of the dead.
Oh, Paul.
You have spirit, woman.
Why waste your tender youth?
Your supple body?
He is a mere child.
Not from where Im standing.
It looks like you got more
than you bargained for.
How... quaint.
Alert.
Alert.
Hey!
Sensing presence of occult power.
Scanning data bank.
Tammock, origin lndonesia.
Do you really know this man?
I have a proposition for you,
Excalibrate.
Your freedom for, uh...
So, that's it?
Paul, he wouldn't.
Not even one minute even consider.
- Would you, Paul?
- Say the word, and it ends.
The word is, "Forget it."
Let me see, let me think.
What would tempt you?
I offer you freedom.
And wealth sufficient
to create your own empire.
In return...
I'd say I know him
pretty well, Mestema.
Oh?
Foul.
Three for one, my best offer.
Yours, for as long as
you can tolerate the ecstasy.
Paul?
Good try, Mestema.
Yeah, damn good try.
You're a fool!
I don't think so.
Anyway, you know what they say.
"There's no fool like an old fool."
Excalibrate.
Im touched by your grief.
But you have no time to waste.
The paper you read
is tomorrow's headline.
Your Gwen is alive.
For now.
You have one hour
to find and save her
from his cold, sharp blade.
Get my point?
Accessing police files.
Want to tell me
what you're doing here?
What we got here?
- Huh, come here, turn around.
- Look, I know
this doesn't look very good,
but I can explain.
Sure, like Halloween, right?
- Look--
- Freeze.
- We got a body.
- Put your hands behind your back,
- come on, lean over.
- Hold on, hold on.
- Freeze.
- Come on, get the cuffs on him.
- Come on.
- Guys, you don't understand.
There's going to be
another murder.
Come on,
we gotta stop it.
5-Adam-49, requesting supervisor
and back-up units
in an alley
behind 304 West 21st.
So, what are you supposed to be
in that outfit?
Gumby?
I wonder where Pokey is.
- Yeah.
- Listen, that reminds me,
Lucille's sister is coming into town
this weekend.
Gwen?
- Gwen!
- Hey!
- Hey, hey, shut up!
- Gwen!
What do you think
you're doing back there, my friend?
- Yeah, go ahead.
- Uh...
Yeah.
This costume's kind of itchy.
- Yeah?
- You guys got a back scratcher on you?
Hey, you're a funny guy.
Now, shut up.
So, what's this you're reading?
Officer
What's it about?
- A future.
- And this book tells you the future?
- Get out.
- 10-4, stand by.
Ouch!
This car's got a bumpy ride.
You guys
could use some new shocks.
What am I eating?
- What?
- What am I eating?
- Donuts.
- What kind of donuts?
Officer
I hate jelly donuts, man.
Officer
Officer
Shut up.
This thing's kind of drafty.
Shut up.
Officer
You're somethin'.
I ask for any kind of plain donut,
you give me a jelly donut.
Yo, where'd he go?
How'd he get
out of here?
Julie Waters, age 23,
actress.
Oh, let me help
you with these.
Oh, no, thanks.
I-- I got 'em.
- You're a performer.
- Yeah, Im late.
Good luck.
Probable location
vacant lot, 654 South Swall Dr.
7/10ths of a mile.
Abandoned auditorium location,
2133 Lexington.
Vacant lot.
Auditorium.
- Dancing.
- The distance...
...is 1 .1 miles.
ETA, five minutes.
Suspect seen headed east--
...on 5th Street. All units respond.
Are they still holding
the auditions?
Hurry, they just finished.
- Hey.
- There's going to be a murder,
call the police.
Sixty seconds
to challenge termination.
Oh, my God, Paul.
- Are you okay?
- Oh, God, he tried to kill me.
I-- He followed me to the audition,
and then afterwards,
I was getting dressed, and I--
I got the part.
L got the part.
Five seconds
to challenge termination.
- Hey, did you see what I saw?
- Nope.
Me neither.
Paul, I don't think
I can go through this anymore.
We'll make it.
Look, when this is all over,
what if he doesn't let us go?
Trust me.
Paul,
I think we're missing something.
This whole contest thing,
there's more in it for him
or else he would've just zapped us.
What is that word,
"zapped?"
Its a magic word, Mestema.
If I were to zap you.
Hear me, Baal-baelum.
Hear me, incubus Astaroth.
Abbadon, Mammon.
If I so wished,
it would destroy you.
Great.
Paul?
No.
No way, Mestema.
- You can forget it.
- Paul?
Im gonna regret this.
Warning,
thermonuclear activity.
Paul!
Gwen?
So, this is the challenge, huh?
Do I even need
the computer for this?
I suppose
this is my idea, right?
Scan reflection, program rendered.
A totally unstable
condition exists.
The chances
of hitting the target
with a controlled strike
are zero.
You didn't listen.
You would've won
by simply walking out of the cave.
I didn't know.
I had no idea.
I, too, transgressed,
and was banished to this cave.
Im sorry.
Lf there's something...
Anything I can do...
You've done it.
Yeah.
I remember when I was a lad.
We found a cat.
It was scavenging
in an alley.
We covered it in cold tar.
Except for the face and the eyes.
And then we lit the tail.
What a sight.
I shall never forget it.
A howling torch,
streaking across a field.
It turned and spun
in a series
of wild gyrations and leaps.
And finally...
into a twitching mass.
Its insides burst forth
in wet sputters.
Its eyes bulged
to the size
and the brilliance of agates.
Animals can be such fun.
Ahimsa.
Where did you
hear that word?
Ahimsa.
Respect for every living being.
For every creature
that can feel.
What conceit,
what hypocrisy.
You mortals think
you are so full of heart
and soul
and love and kindness.
You think your god
looks down on you
with tenderness and mercy?
You're mistaken, my friend.
It is humanity,
not the devil,
that is red in tooth and claw.
It is your god
that rains down terror on you.
You have no heart
and no soul, Mestema.
And that's why
you're bored.
That's why
your immortality is Hell.
Prepare for the end.
Alone at last.
Yeah,
like the last people on Earth.
Well, at least
you're not chained to the rock.
Nice outfit.
Yeah, another
Mestema original.
Where are we?
Cal?
Scan communication frequencies.
See if you can find out where we are.
- Scanning.
- Hey, don't leave me.
Scan shows inhabitants hostile.
Terrific.
Warning,
frequency scan intercepted
by local military.
Military hostile.
What do we do now?
Ask Cal.
Cal, prepare laser mode.
Boy, oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
We got you now.
We got you,
I got him here.
Come on, you guys.
Let's go, let's kill him.
Let's kill him now.
Come on.
Uh... could you guys show us the way
to the Las Vegas Hilton?
Oh.
Let's get him now.
Let's get him.
Let's kill him.
Hey, come on.
Hey.
What is that thing?
Come on, let
me see it, what is it?
I want to kill him,
I want to kill him.
- Cal, still in laser mode?
- Come on, let me see.
- Affirmative.
- What is that?
Give it to me.
Come on, I was here first.
I want to see it.
Come on, give it to me.
Okay,
then Im going to shoot them.
Im gonna shoot
them both.
I want you to give it to--
Come on, come on.
C-Come on.
Cal, three coordinates.
28 degrees x-axis.
1-8-3, 2-8-4, 3-1-6.
Fire.
Paul,
do you know where you're going?
The Las Vegas Hilton?
Oh, boy.
Oh, my God.
Its the little guy.
Why, you little creep.
Yee-haw!
All right, Mestema,
enough is enough.
Hey, what are you doing?
Good shot, huh?
Whoo.
What is it?
We're out of control.
Cal, what's going on?
Remote control.
Well, jam the signal.
Override the remote.
Remote control
is not conventional.
Mestema.
Sensors show second vehicle.
- Trajectory...
- Paul.
...Identical to yours.
Opposite direction.
Mestema!
The game is over.
You call this
a contest, Mestema?
I do all the fighting
while you sit around
like some fat overlord
waiting to see how I fare.
A real contest
is one man against one man.
But then, you've never been
in a real battle before.
You have spirit.
And all you have is your magic.
My magic is powerful.
All powerful.
It can do anything!
Except relieve you
of your boredom.
I have seen
a thousand plagues.
A thousand wars.
And I will be here
when you are dust.
So, you finish me off, then what?
Another thousand years
of boredom?
Mestema,
I know what you want.
But you're not going to get it
sitting on the sidelines
watching some worthy opponent
have all the fun.
Only mortals who risk losing
can know real excitement.
I, the Excalibrate,
challenge you to a real contest.
You have some trick
up your sleeve, eh?
One man against one man.
In this arena.
No magic.
No tricks.
Paul, he's a giant.
You can't possibly win.
It is a trick,
I know it's a trick.
Trust me.
What are the conditions?
What are the rules?
No rules,
except that we go free.
Get up!
Yes. Get him!
No!
Cal!
- You okay?
- Yeah.
Oh, God.
Oh, we're home.
- Yeah.
- We won.
Hello, Paul. Im back.
Im not so sure.
Yes.
- Yes?
- Let's get married.
Let's get what?
Well, I talked it over with Cal
and it all adds up.
Paul, is that you?
Paul?
Mestema!