The Etruscan Smile (2018) Movie Script

Hopefully they are not on
your ferry tomorrow morning.
I heard the whiskey in
America tastes like piss.
This is hopefully
your last glass.
Oh, stop it, MacNeil.
Everyone knows...
whatever you've got...
it's bad.
And you get on that
ferry tomorrow,
we'll be saying goodbye
to you, forever.
Don't you worry.
Christmas Eve, I'll be pissing
on the flowers on your grave.
Drinks for everyone.
On me!
Tonight we celebrate
the demise...
of Rory MacNeil,
who's going to die...
far, far away.
Like an old dog, crawling
into a dark hole,
deep in the ground, to die.
-Give it back.
-Come and get it, cripple!
We are not finished yet.
Piss off and get away, Campbell!
After you.
You old sack.
I'll give you some
for the journey.
After that, you need
to see a doctor.
Well, that's why I have you.
No. No. I'm cutting you off.
These pills are used
to treat the horses.
I am a vet, for Christs sake!
Well, I'm an old horse,
racing toward the
finishing line.
It is a line you may not cross,
unless you get on that
flight and get some help.
Now, if you want to
out live Campbell,
you will listen to me.
Or maybe, I should just stick
the old bastard with my knife.
Then there would be no need
for me to fly to America.
Don't start that again.
I'm not going.
Dad, hey!
Can I get you a taxi, sir?
-Can I get you a taxi?
Do you speak English?
Can I get you a
ride into the city?
-Here. Let me take that.
All right. This way.
Rory? Rory!
Where are you going?
You never showed up.
Give my dad his
suitcase, please.
Is this your son, sir?
Let's go. I'm
parked in the lot.
Bloody lights in the
city outshine the stars.
What's that, dad?
Just admiring your city.
Made you something.
Do you remember how
you used to love
to ride those horses,
down in Donovan's farm?
I do.
I mean, I did love them.
Maybe we can give it to Jamie.
Jamie, our baby.
Oh yes.
How is the wee lassie?
Jamie is a boy.
Oh, of course.
So Emily and I were wondering
what finally drove
you off the island?
It was time to see you.
I told you on the phone.
You can't smoke here, dad.
This is a smoke-free
Smoke-free what?
Smoking will kill you, dad.
Or hasn't the memo
reached Vallasay yet?
Life will kill ya.
This is it.
I'd rather take the stairs.
Where are they?
Right that way.
A man should always be able
to walk into his own house.
We're on the 19th floor, dad.
Never mind.
Em's dad knew someone on
the condo board, otherwise
...never been approved.
Yeah. That's how you get into
one of these places, dad.
Well, let's just
keep them guessing
for another twenty four hours.
Okay? Thank you. Bye.
Oh. We are so happy to
finally have you here.
Why are you whispering?
I've just put Jamie
back to sleep.
He has such a light sleeper.
I know you're probably
dying to see him.
Is it okay if we
do that tomorrow?
Oh! Oh... uh... ah... yes.
Great. Yeah, the tenth
month is the most crucial
for developing like a really
healthy sleeping pattern, so...
I have to get to that
conference call in two minutes.
Oh, Ian, also...
Frida just could not
get the bed open. So...
That's fine. I'll do it.
Thank you.
One again,
we're really so, so
happy you're here, dad.
Why is she calling me dad?
That's an American thing.
Come on, let's get you sorted.
Emily's dad has a box
seat in the ball park.
You should come. It's cool.
So Emily...
she still works at the hospital?
Not any more.
She's got her own firm now.
You remember Dr. Fraser?
he swore me to get a medical
check up while I'm here.
Is everything okay?
Just a wee pain in
the back, that's all.
You know...
anything to stop the
old bugger from...
getting his calluses
in a tangle.
Keep him calm, you know?
Yeah, we can arrange that.
Oh, that would be grand.
So, the bathroom
is down the hall.
I'll see you in the morning.
Um, Ian...
I am glad to see you.
I'd best take a peek.
Make sure he's okay.
No, Ian.
Remember what the
sleep consultant said?
All right.
He didn't come here to see us.
Dad... doesn't give
a crap about us.
Didn't even care
if he saw Jamie.
You saw how he reacted.
I think he just didn't
want to wake him up.
I thought that he was
being very thoughtful.
Where was he when
Jamie was born?
He never even replied to...
any of the messages I sent him.
bought him a present
or send a card.
Well, why do you
think he came then?
He wants to see a doctor.
I haven't seen the man
about fifteen years and...
he comes here as
a couch surfer...
to scrounge a free medical.
Give him a little
more credit, Ian.
I'm sure he didn't
come all this way,
just to see a doctor.
You've got a fine set
of lungs on you, laddie.
I'll grant you that.
I was thinking we're
going to need plates.
I know.
Wait for me to charge
the new centrifuge, yeah?
Yeah. I am on my way.
No breakfast?
This is breakfast.
-You're off to the laboratory?
I'm sous chef at White River.
-It's a restaurant.
-Didn't you study chemistry?
I specialized in what's called...
molecular gastronomy, dad.
How did you sleep?
Like your baby.
Sorry about that. We're
sleep training him.
Emily not breastfeeding, then?
She wanted to, but...
-But she has breasts?
Good morning.
There you are, dad.
I hope you slept well.
Um... I wanted to let you know.
I went ahead and
made an appointment
for you with a doctor...
and I scheduled it for tomorrow.
Is that okay?
Oh, I see. Ian told you.
Ah, well, you know.
It is nothing serious.
Honey, Jamie is starving.
I'm on it! I'm on it!
Oh. Here.
Good boy.
Look, who cam to see you.
Yeah. Grandpa came to see you. Yeah.
Grandpa came to see you.
I... I've got to go.
Come on. Good boy.
Here we go.
Do you want to hold him...
while I grab that. I...
I'm late for that call. They keep calling.
There we go, see?
I... yeah... oh...
Oops... Hello!
No. Around the other...
Here we go. No, no. It's okay, baby.
No, not you. Hold on. I've gotta...
I gotta put you
on hold for a second.
Alright. You'll be fine.
Hold on.
can you take care of him...
Great. Okay.
Here. Here. here.
It's okay, mi amor.
Come, come, my love, come, come.
It's your beard.
He is scared.
Please, Senor, do
not take him out.
I wasn't going to.
What! What, my love.
What, my love.
Why shouldn't I pick him up?
After all, he is my grandson.
He needs to work.
Babies don't work.
Emily says he's behind
his cross crawl.
He needs to practice.
He must learn how
to be autonomous.
Oh, nonsense.
Good job.
Emily did research.
Oh, come on.
Be a man up!
Man up!
Oh, the fucks.
There is only one way
across enemy territory.
What're you doing?
There you go.
How was your day today, sir?
Give me the bloodiest
thing you've got.
Want some? Hm?
Are you man or not?
Oh yeah...
He's a MacNeil, alright!
Where have you been?
I was out two hours, looking for you.
I was worried sick.
I took the boy for a stroll.
You can't just pick
him up and leave, dad!
We had no way of contacting you.
You didn't even take any food.
I fed him.
Do you think I'd
starve my own grandson?
You're not hungry?
I thought Emily made it clear.
They were not to be left alone.
Who is she to chaperone me
I am his grandfather!
You just wait till
Emily gets back
You better hope she
doesn't send you
on the next flight
back to Glasgow.
So are you wearing
the pants here?
If you got something to say
to me, say it in English.
How's about this for English?
Get the hell out of here
while I have a piss.
Let me handle it.
Good luck with that.
God! He always shaves
to impress a woman.
It's so ridiculous.
All ready for my scolding now?
Why don't we have a seat?
So, did you enjoy your
afternoon with Jamie?
Oh, we had a ball.
you had us all a bit...
I'd like to apologize.
You must be overwhelmed...
and we have not
been as attentive...
as we should have been.
Right, Ian?
It's a joke.
I apologize for that and
hope you are offended.
Not at all.
Apology accepted.
I have something for you,
to help us communicate better.
Actually, I've taken the liberty
of including you into
Jamie's calendar.
All settled then.
I'm gonna go say
good night to Jamie.
Uh, one thing I
couldn't help notice.
The boy has got his own room.
Why doesn't he sleep with you,
like it's always been done.
what we've learnt...
is that to develop a
healthy attachment...
-babies need to learn to become...
I can not stay here any more.
I'm going there.
Ian, please. Just let it go.
By the book.
Your seanair is here.
Do you know what Seanair means?
It's Gaelic for grandpa.
Emily worked very
hard to get you in.
Itesan hospital. One of
the best in the world.
Ah! Americans,
I think are the best.
That's why you need
good hospitals.
for all the shite they eat
and all the filthy
air they breathe.
Try not to say
anything like that
at the gala this
evening, will you?
It's the truth.
Truth or not, they
don't like you
when you say what you really
think about them okay?
Hmm... If I said what
I really thought...
Honey, we're done.
How bad is it?
Well, we need to check your...
must check your
scans and samples.
It will take a few days.
But from what I've seen,
you've got the heart
of a 50 year old.
I wish, Campbell were
here to hear that.
-Who's Campbell? Your son?
-No, worse.
Here we go. Cheers.
What can I get you tonight, sir?
We've got an array of molecular
specialities with uh...
'Love in the asylum',
'Blood on the tracks',
'Smoke gets in your eyes'...
Just give me something
that will burn my
throat as it goes down.
It bores me, to be honest.
All that mystery there is drying out.
Just gone.
Nothing left to
wonder at these days.
Is that the same with you?
Where I come from,
is a woman a woman.
She doesn't need to prove it.
-Here you go sir.
-Thank you.
Same to you.
What the hell is this?
'Smoke gets in your eyes'
will give you that burning
you're looking for.
Smoke gets in your
bollocks is more like it.
I had a feeling I'd like you.
-You did?
-I did.
-Hey honey. God, you look great.
-Thank you. Are you being impossible?
How did you two find
each other here?
Process of elimination.
It's called a clan tartan
or something, yeah?
Oye, these colours have
been in the family for about
well over 200 years.
It's beautiful.
It's just what we need
to spice up this event.
Good for you.
You... you two should
really try Ian's food.
It's really exciting.
Um, anyway...
um... I will... check
on you two in a bit.
-Knock 'em back.
-Thank you.
What we wouldn't do
for them, eh Rory?
Our children.
Oh! Aye, aye.
Probably yeah.
Are you ready to come up?
It never turns out exactly
how I pictured it in my mind.
I'm so proud of you.
I mean, just...
look at everything.
It's just you, and your vision.
Enjoy it, Ian.
Even your dad now knows what
a brilliant chef you are.
My dad?
Is that what he said?
Why don't you come
ask him yourself?
-This stuff is celestial.
And it's from one of San
Francisco's famous gourmets.
Hm... Oh! That's surprising.
I thought that was an egg.
Well, that's molecular for you.
My son...
-he makes these?
-He does now.
Watch... and learn.
-Oh God. Oh!
-You okay?
Look, who I managed to
drag out of the kitchen.
Stunning job. We are all
very, very impressed.
The tux pants not
your size, dad?
A man in a kilt is a
man and a half, laddie.
And you should know that.
Listen everybody. I would
actually like to propose a toast.
I just wanna say that
it's such a privilege
to be standing
here at this event,
my tastefully and elegantly
prepared by my
very own daughter.
Dad, you don't have to.
Honey, let me blow your
horn for a minute, okay.
You're always plugging
everybody else.
Your mom.
If she could see
how you've grown up.
And to my son-in-law,
Ian, I just want to say
We are all flabbergasted at your...
bold and unexpected
from chemist to cook.
So, no more of that
sous-chef bull shit.
From now on, Ian is going to
be wearing the chef's hat.
in his very own restaurant.
I made the first down
payment this morning.
-You didn't?
-I did.
I arranged a meeting for
you with a guy named...
Jeff Stradlow. He is
the best there is.
He's going to handle the
business end of things.
All you have to do...
is walk in and do your thing.
That is just so surprising.
I mean, we had no idea.
It's really exciting.
Oh! Vow! yeah. I don't
know what to say.
-No worries.
-I think he means to say 'thank you'.
Of course, sorry. Thank
you, thank you, so much.
Come on here. Give us a hug.
Come on! Come on! Partners.
Here we go. That's my boy.
Dad, next time you come,
you'll be a guest in
my own restaurant?
You can tame a horse best,
by shooting his balls away.
Excuse me.
What did he just say?
I'm not sure.
My Gaelic's a bit rusty.
I have to get back
to the kitchen.
Oh, don't touch it please, sir.
Oh, I'm sorry. I... I...
never meant any harm.
Oh please.
Terracotta is a very
sensitive material.
It's a miracle, that
they survived at all.
What a smile.
They look as if they're having
a right ball, those two.
It's Avery old tomb.
This is how the Etruscans
pictured their dead.
They don't look dead to me.
Why? They can't
die with a smile?
I don't think I've ever had
a conversation with a man
in a kilt, before.
doesn't go down big in
San Francisco, I think.
No, it's... it's a great look.
So is yours.
Better than those
ladies back there.
Huge fake tits to go
with a huge fake smile.
If you know, what I mean.
Do you come often?
I work here.
Well maybe I'll come again.
In the day time.
You should.
We have guided tours.
Good night.
Good night.
Don't touch.
I won't.
This, is one the world's
three great natural harbours...
right in the heart of down-town.
Over there is Treasure Island.
Are you Ian MacNeil?
Is this your father?
What did he do?
Armed robbery.
I understand he's
not from around here.
So I'm gonna let this one slide.
Be sure to tell your father
that we don't allow nude
swimming in public spaces.
Thank you, officer.
We appreciate that.
You have a good night.
Thank you, officer.
It was lovely to spend
the evening with you.
It was a pleasure
meeting you sir.
A very nice man.
Telephone for you, senor.
For me?
Who could it be?
Nobody knows that I am here.
Fraser, you old sack!
You don't say.
liver failure!
Oh, good news.
He's dying! He's dying!
He's dying!
Yes! Yes! Yes! He's going
to die first, laddie.
And then, I'm going
back to Vallasay.
And you're gonna come with me.
You'll taste the
liquor and the meat...
of real men.
Tonight... we celebrate.
Is that mum's stew?
My stew.
Don't you remember?
I always used to cook it
up on special occasions.
-That was you?
What's all this?
Dad cooked a celebratory dinner.
Sit down...
and begin.
It's hot.
See? He's coming around.
You should try it.
It's Dad's recipe.
-This is delicious.
I know that knife.
It was supposed to be yours
but you did not want it.
It's not I didn't want it.
It was just I was too young.
Too afeared.
Well, I'm old enough now.
This belongs to Jamie.
I'm gonna hold it
till he's older.
That is delicious.
Then you'll love
the blood sausage.
It's no black pudding, but
it's the closest thing to...
Dad, you remember then,
I can't stand that pudding.
Oh, come on...
you used to love that
when you were a kid.
Dad, I don't like it.
Oh come on, come on.
Come on, son.
Celebrate with me, huh?
I've never felt
better in my life.
I reckon... no more doctors.
What're you talking about?
The old prick is gonna die first.
Yes. Got the news this morning.
From Fraser.
So, we owe this visit of yours...
to Campbell?
Wait. Who's Campbell?
What is it this time?
Which one of you kicks
the bucket first?
You'll never change, dad.
Mum was right.
If it was up to you, nothing in
this world would ever change.
Change? What for?
By the way, we're
celebrating a dying man.
I was... I was hoping
that we were...
celebrating your restaurant.
So was I. Stupidly.
But no. All of this
is for Alistair Campbell,
who is now, apparently dying.
According to my dad...
he's devoted his entire
life to this very moment.
It was your dog he poisoned.
No one knows for sure, dad.
You know nothing about my dad.
When we found my dog
Angus dead in the yard,
I wanted to bury the poor
fellow like he deserved.
But no, you thought
otherwise, didn't ya?
No. You let him rot...
and then he carried
the decayed carcass
and put it on
Campbell's door step.
Why would he do that?
That's how it works in Vallasay.
It's called a feud.
Don't blame me.
I didn't start that.
Oh! Of course not.
Nothing to do with you.
No say in the
matter, whatsoever.
You are just an innocent
heir to a rivalry,
which no MacNeil or Campbell
has been able to
settle since 1764,
when Muriel MacNeil broke off
her engagement to
Lachlan Campbell.
Legend has it, Muriel
got a sneak peek
under Campbell's kilt and
didn't like what she saw.
So then the Campbells castrated
all of the MacNeil cattle.
The MacNeils could not let that
go unpunished, could they?
Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Well' I'm glad you remember
it after all these years.
He always had better things
to do, than to help his old dad.
All you ever did was
take the piss out of me
and call me a
'little coward' then.
Then he left Vallasay.
Thought it was beneath him.
I didn't run away, dad!
I got a scholarship to Berkeley!
What was I supposed to do?
Spend my life playing
your bloody games?
Little coward.
It wasn't the scholarship.
That wasn't why
you left Vallasay.
You're right, dad
It wasn't Vallasay
that I left...
it was you.
Aye... exactly.
And now...
now you're one of them.
You teach your son
to be autonomous.
But you're still a bairn...
playing with your chemistry set.
It's too late...
too late, to teach
you how to be a man!
It's the blind leading the
fucking blind around here, my boy.
To them...
the stars are invisible
in San Francisco.
You're lucky.
You have me around...
to guide you.
Oh, you have never seen a sky
more beautiful than
the one in Vallasay.
The old prick is
enjoying it right now
but he'll be gone soon enough.
And then, my boy,
then, it'll be you and I
gazing at the stars together.
Generally speaking, you
are in excellent condition
for your age.
except, of course,
what brings you here.
There is no easy
way to say this.
Your PET and CT scans confirm
that you have stage
four prostate cancer.
And how many stages are there?
The appropriate medical term is
metastasised prostate cancer.
At this stage,
chemotherapy is not
recommended or effective.
And in these cases,
we prescribe Oxycodone
for bone pain...
as well as hormonal treatments.
You need to get
shots once a week.
Now sir, do you understand
what I've just said?
How long do I have?
That is so hard to say.
And I'm reluctant to give
these kinds of estimations
since they tend to
be a calculated guess...
Guess then.
I would rather not.
A week? A month? A year?
Less than a year.
Sir, please. There are so
many variables to factor.
As I said, you are in excellent physical
Why don't you just give
me a bloody number?
Okay, thank you doctor.
No wait.
I haven't finished yet.
Can I ask you a question?
Yes. Yes, of course.
How long does it take to die
from cirrhosis of the liver?
Someone my age.
Has it about five years,
can't walk without a cane...
Yellow in the face for
the past few months.
They say he might
have liver failure.
So, do you expect me to
answer this seriously?
Hm. Just what I thought.
You're good for nothing.
What did you do?
What the hell are
you talking about?
I got a message from Emily
to come home immediately.
It's not my fault.
That doctor's an idiot.
You went to the doctor again today?
Yeah, I've got
cancer, stage four.
Whatever the hell that means.
What... What did he say?
What exactly did he say?
He didn't say anything.
That hack couldn't
make a clear sentence
if his life depended upon it.
-But he used the word 'cancer'.
Oh, I'm fine, Ian.
Don't fuss over me.
We've got to have our
super fun time together.
Haven't we Jamie?
We've got plans.
Oh yes, haven't we, Jamie boy.
Oh. I'm so sorry sir.
Are you okay?
Watch where you're going.
Are you alright?
Stupid... stupid old man!
Oh, hey. Hey. Hey, hey. Hey.
That's... that's my grandson.
Oh, it's you!
Are you crazy, leaving
a baby alone like this?
I lost my head.
I got... I got... I got pick pocketed
like some pathetic tourist.
You left your grandson to
chase after your wallet?
You are lucky that I'm the one who found
What would I have done?
I... I... I'm new to all this.
Oh look, I think he likes you.
He's already beginning to play.
You can have him back now.
There we are.
Oh, it's good to have
you safe and sound.
Safe and sound. Yes, yes, yes...
Oh, you're leaving?
Yes. Baby sitting hours are up
and I've got actual work to do.
But we've come all this way.
And you promised
us a guided tour.
Rory MacNeil, by the way.
And this here is Jamie MacNeil.
Yes, well...
Guided tours are in
the mornings, sir...
and... um... I'm not a guide.
Come on, laddie.
I think we've got some
actual work to do.
Why do they make
them so damn ugly?
Wait a minute. Are you...
really interested or you...
just messing with me?
Of course, I'm interested.
Well, the Romans considered
it a sign of character
not to camouflage
your blemishes.
Your scars and your wrinkles...
were you badge of experience.
You don't say.
Mr. MacNeil?
Are you okay?
I think I'm having a weak...
I should call the paramedics?
Are you feeling alright, Rory?
Are you okay, sir?
I'm still alive, son of a bitch.
What? What?
I think he's speaking Gaelic.
Has this ever happened
to you before?
What can I say?
I must've overdone it on
the whiskey last night.
If you don't mind my asking...
was that Gaelic you were speaking?
Yes, what's it to you?
I've been taking part in a study
over at the university...
about endangered languages.
-They would just love you over there.
-And they'd pay you of course.
-I don't need the money.
It's not really about the money,
it's for future generations.
I'll do it...
if you come.
What? Are you asking
me out on a date?
Oh! No. No! Not at all.
It's not a date.
Did you not hear the man?
It's for future generations.
Isn't that right, Jamie?
You don't know what
it feels like yet...
to love a woman.
But someday,
Jamie, someday...
Oh, it's not time to die.
Do you know...
when your stars are
lined in your favour...
he was coughing.
-I just popped in to check.
Yeah. Me too.
Good night, Ian.
Good night, dad.
Yeah. There might be
some pain and nausea
during these days
of treatment...
Do not be afraid to let us know.
Of pain?
Oh. There's a lot you don't
know about us Scotsmen.
I suggest you go home
now and take a good rest.
What are you doing here?
-I though I'd come and get you.
You asked me to ring
if I needed anything.
Well, how can you do
that without this?
I'm fine.
Come on dad. Get in.
You must be exhausted.
I do have plans of
my own, you know?
Rory, basically,
it's very simple.
We need you to speak in Gaelic,
the way you speak
in everyday life.
It's important that
you don't try to speak
perfect textbook Gaelic.
Because we're interested
in your specific dialect
of Hebridian Gaelic.
So... what do you
want me to say?
Well, say anything.
Pretend like you're on a
date with a beautiful woman.
My name is Rory MacNeil.
Your smile is the
most beautiful thing
I've ever seen in this country.
And I like your full breasts.
My head wants to
rest there forever.
I can promise you that
I am a devil in bed.
You can count on me.
I'm honest and diongmhalt.
Well, I did get the part about
you loving a woman's breasts
and your being a demon in bed.
A devil.
Diongmhalt ... I had trouble
understanding that in context.
Were you saying that
people could always
count on you to be stubborn?
That's not what it means at all.
is holding the line of battle.
No matter what.
Ah, so it's more
about commitment.
English have words for
all kinds of shite...
but can never have words
for what really matters.
Diongmhalt is diongmhalt.
Am I saying it right?
-Diongmhalt .
This is great stuff.
It means, what's meant to happen
to you, will happen to you.
Oh! We'll have you talking
like a real Scotswoman.
Hell! You should
come to Vallasay.
You'll fool them all.
What would a woman like
me do in a place like that?
I don't know. I...
I am such a silly girl.
Well, there's lots of fun
things to do in Vallasay.
-Oh yes? Like what?
Oh, well...
I... go for a swim...
outside my house,
every morning...
You should see the water.
So crisp and sparkling.
And when I come out,
I am as alert as a tiger.
Nothing can get by me.
At night-time, I go to the pub
and have a few pints and
a laugh with my mates.
That sounds pretty idyllic.
You know, there is an
ocean here too, Rory.
And San Francisco is
a beautiful city
if you give it a chance.
Maybe I would.
If I had a beautiful woman
like you to show me around.
-Si, Senora.
-On the diapers...
4's are a little
bit snug on him now.
So you're gonna wanna
pick up some of the 5's.
Si, Senora.
Now is a good time
to jump start...
Do you see...
his language skills.
with a little
practice, it works.
-Right. So remember, no baby talk.
-Si, Senora.
You wanna keep it narrative.
Things like...
'Oh! Now I'm chopping
vegetables for the soup.'
Or 'Now, I'm filling out my
online registration form.'
Si, Senora.
-Bag? Where is my bag?
-I'll get it.
-Oh, who is that?
Jamie, Mommy has to
go on a work trip.
But just a couple of days, okay?
You're gonna be good to
Frida and good to Grandpa?
He said yes!
Yes, you said yes.
Oh, honey.
I'm sorry I gotta go to work
just as you're learning to talk.
You won't say another word
till mommy gets back, okay?
I gotta go now. I'm sorry.
I'll see you in
a few days, Rory.
Keep going.
Say Seanair.
The day you say it...
you'll give me... life.
I'm just finishing up.
I'll be right down.
You are from North Korea, huh?
I once asked my friend
from North Korea,
what it was like. He
said 'I can't complain.'
-What's your name, sir?
What's with the accent?
Are you a Scotsman?
Aye, and a proud one.
And, brief history of Scotland.
Prehistoric sheep...
What about the kilts?
They won't hear the zippers
when we stick up on our butts.
How'd I do?
Oh, no probs.
That's what I like
about Scottish people...
They're so drunk they'll
laugh at everything.
Oh! If was drunk, I'd be comin'
up there and joining you.
So what brought you out
from that rock in the
middle of the Atlantic...
to here.
Are you here, to steal our women
or you are here to roger
a few bonnie lassies?
Stage four cancer.
When did you know?
Um, for a while.
after I met you.
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, I'd understand
why you wouldn't want
to be with a dying man.
Well, that's not the point.
I just felt that you...
could be open with me.
But it's nothing to do with you.
Did you know that
Jamie started talking?
-That's great.
-He... he said 'Si'.
That's Spanish for 'yes'.
Genius, eh?
I wouldn't know.
I don't have children.
Do you know what, I...
I... I'm not...
I'm not feeling up to this.
What do you mean?
I'm tired.
It... It has nothing
to do with you.
Good night, Rory.
Because you can't make
a statement with a steak.
It's just not what I'm about.
I... I'm just looking
out for you here, buddy...
you know what I mean...
that's what they
brought me in to do.
You see, the material alone, in this...
What you call it?
'Tasting the Beach'.
'Walking the Beach.'
'Walking the Beach.'
Right. I mean that will knock
out our budget, before we...
Oh! Don't mind me.
I'm just passing through.
I've seen how it works
with White River.
And they're booked up
for years in advance.
Ian... thing is...
you do not have a cooking
show on Bravo... yet.
Being a chef is not about
giving people what they want.
It's about opening
their minds up to what
they didn't even know
they were longing for.
Ian, I'm with you, right?
We'll just keep dialoguing
till we work out a little case.
To the future.
Good. I'll...
I'll send the contracts
over to you tomorrow.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Oh, mind your own business, dad.
You might as well have a drink.
Oh, pour me one, then.
One drink a day...
And you never have
to go to the doctor.
So... you have not
forgotten all your Gaelic.
I've heard it so many times,
I could say it in my sleep.
is the closest thing to
Vallasay around here.
What do you think
about my food, dad?
Look, son...
When I take a bite at something,
I do not expect it to bite back.
Oh, you hate it then.
No. That's not what I said.
I'm a simple man
and I have simple tastes.
Well, well.
You never really understood
anything I did, huh?
But at least, I'm not a
hypocrite like Emily's father...
who spat it out...
and kissed you ass afterwards.
Don't ever go after Frank
just because he is...
Believe me in this.
Life is too short,
to give a fuck...
about an old fool like
me, or what a pompous...
ass like Frank thinks
about your food.
Do what you love...
while you can,
before you've got
one foot in the grave
and it is too late.
Drink up, boy.
Brave lad... brave lad.
That's it. Good boy.
You can do it. That's it.
Come here... oh!
Oh, well done.
Now, this will be one
of our secrets, yeah.
We will not tell a soul.
Okay. Yes.
Oh, good boy.
Oh yes.
Come on now.
Let's cuddle up.
Oh! Dad, dad, dad, dad! Wake up!
-What the hell are you doing?
-I'm filming.
Pu that damn thing away.
Just look... with your eyes.
Come on.
Oh! Come here.
Oh, look at you.
You are a champion.
How did he get out of bed?
I don't know. I was asleep.
You slept here?
Well, I don't think any of us
slept in our beds last night.
Well, I see that you are
responding very well
to the treatment.
At this stage, the fact
that you are still active
and having a regular day to
day life, is a small miracle.
You... you still
haven't told me when.
You just want to beat the guy
with the liver
problems, don't you?
How's he getting along?
Oh, great, great...
almost dead.
But it's not really about that.
Do you have any grandchildren?
Oh yes. Yeah, I do.
These two little rascals.
I really...
really want to hear my grandson
call me 'seanair' .
Two months,
maybe three.
That should be enough.
Does that work usually?
What's what work?
with flowers.
Oh, I wouldn't know.
This is my first time.
when I think about it...
I don't believe, I've
apologized to a woman. Ever.
Not at all.
Look, Rory,
I like you. I do.
I don't think this
is going to work.
I mean, maybe if we had met...
some other time,
like 30 years ago...
But I... I'm not really looking
for a relationship now, and...
I'm dying.
I know.
I should have told you about cancer.
I'm sorry.
I've got...
three months... at best.
But this is me.
No camouflage.
Full of scars and wrinkles,
like your Roman pal.
Maybe, it's too late
for laughs, but...
I really want you to be...
in my life.
Whatever is left of it.
You don't have to
answer right now.
So, I shall...
put these stupid flowers...
and I'll be on my way.
They're not stupid.
Now you know my secret.
I'm just saying that
I know that you understand
what I'm trying to do.
But Jeff...
he doesn't care for what
I am or about my vision.
What do you think should I
planned for Jamie's birthday.
Nothing but the
best for that kid.
The same goes for you too, Ian.
Jeff Stradlow knows
exactly what he's doing.
That's why I chose him.
Listen Frank. I'm not
questioning your judgement.
I'm just saying that maybe we
should find me a partner, who's
inspired by what inspires me.
You know what?
If I'm gonna invest in
art, I'll buy a painting,
I can hang on the wall
and resell for a fortune.
Not stuff that turns into shit
and gets flushed down
the toilet the next day.
You really don't
like my food, do you?
What does that mean?
Do you know what I like?
Grace, tact, dignity.
You're a button for those?
The truth is, it hurts me Ian.
It hurts me to see
you playing 'Yes man'
to some narcissistic
TV chef forever.
Are you getting in?
I didn't say forever.
But maybe one day
some investor will come along,
who will actually believe in me.
You know, I don't remember
you being this picky,
when you came to ask
me to help get Jamie
into the best nurse school
in the city, next year,
or that apartment, I practically
gift wrapped for you.
You're right,
I wasn't picky.
But that doesn't mean I
can't take a pass now.
You know what?
You should have
stayed a chemist.
-You're home?
-I wanted to see you.
Did Jamie say something new yet?
No, but he walked.
Just a few steps.
Did you get it on video?
He was crawling before
I had the chance.
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
I promise you, he
will walk again.
Come on.
-Go on, go on. You can do it.
-Come on.
Come on. Come to Mommy.
Come on, Jamie.
You bought him shoes?
Uh no, dad did.
you don't like them?
I do. They're lovely.
But they're not really
supposed to be wearing shoes...
at this age.
But it's fine. We'll just...
save them for a
little bit later.
Come on, Jamie.
Show mommy how you walk.
Oh. Don't worry.
I promise you, he'll walk again.
I know honey. It's okay.
You did so good. Mommy
is so proud of you.
He'll walk gin, all right.
Only, you'll have to be around,
if you want to see it.
Jesus! I'm a terrible mom.
You are a great mother, Em.
You are a great mum.
I don't even know
what that means.
Can feel me just making
it up as I go along.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
You know, when I was
growing up, I only
had my dad, and he
worked day and night.
And now I'm doing
the same thing.
You're doing the best you can.
We both are.
But, are we happy?
You're supposed to
say yes to that.
I need to tell
you something, Em.
What is it?
I quit White River today.
I mean, now you have more
time to work on the restaurant?
I'm not going to be
taking your dad's money.
-My dad already paid...
-I've already told him.
You did?
You asked if I'm happy.
I don't even know
what makes me happy.
I just don't want to keep
going through the emotion.
Oh, I... I remember
another folk story.
A really, really old one.
The older, the better, Rory.
Once upon a time
there was a strong carpenter.
All islanders loved him.
The idiot,
on the other hand walked
with a stick on earth,
and everybody hated him.
Even his liver spurned him...
You still got it, old man.
Actually, he's just stepped in.
Rory, it's for you.
He gave up just like that.
He is dead.
We're gonna have a bite
to eat in a few minutes.
I'm not hungry.
Just come and sit with us.
Leave me alone.
Should we check on him again?
I don't know.
I give up.
I thought he'd be
dancing in the street.
To the deceased!
Jesus, dad.
Drink up!
We should celebrate.
I'm not gonna drink.
Give it a rest. He's dead.
So what.
You're on Campbell's side now?
I am not on anyone's side, dad.
Campbell is dead.
You've got no one
left to pick on.
Don't make this about me.
There might be a day...
sometime very soon,
I won't be here any longer.
Do you understand me, my boy?
I need you.
If it wasn't for you,
I'd be long gone.
We loved the carpenter
and the prick story, Rory.
You have any more of that?
Th-et weren't real folk stories.
I was fooling the lotta you's.
We know that, Rory.
We still like to hear them.
What proof, you fools?
How did you know that anyway?
For what it's worth...
we think your
stories are great...
and real.
As real as stories can be.
Oh, you know nothing
about what's real.
Or you wouldn't be listening
to an old man jabber.
Tell us, then...
what do you think is real?
A child.
Rory, wait up.
It's all here. All our sessions.
Keep it.
For future generations.
Here we are.
What? You don't
want to get out yet?
Where is your dad?
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
Dad, what are you doing?
It's almost like for a wedding.
Hi. What can I get you?
What can I serve the captain?
the regular one.
No fire, no smoke.
Just whiskey.
Man, whatever you say.
-Look, here's the birthday cake.
A double.
I used to be able to spoil you.
I want to spoil the
death out of you.
Want to thank Grandpa?
Well, are you tired?
Here. Here, Frank.
Let me take him.
Go to grandpa. There we go.
Yes. That's alright.
Hello there, Jamie boy.
I've got a wee surprise for you.
Yes. yes.
Dad, dad...
where are you taking him?
-Can I offer you a cocktail?
-Oh, none for him.
He doesn't want anything
I might have paid for.
Thank you.
That's some family
you married into.
Yes, I think so too.
Here, look.
Look, what's that?
See? See. See.
Now, should we try
and see if it floats?
Yes, let's see if it floats.
There we go.
Isn't that grand?
Isn't that grand? Look at that.
Here we go! Big one comin' in.
Big one comin' in.
There we go! There we go!
Dad! What're you doing?
Oh, look.
Here comes the party pooper.
Jesus Christ dad! Are you
out of your goddamn mind?
The bairn's having
the time of his life.
Get him out of there. Now!
Go back to your party.
Me and Jamie are
doing just fine.
I said, get out!
Come and get him then.
I'm not playing along with you.
Look at daddy.
Grow up!
These are not Jamie's people.
Ian, he does not belong here.
So, what's your plan?
Take him back to
Vallasay with you?
I'm not gonna make the
same mistake with him...
I did with you.
you're dying.
We've so little time left.
Do we really have to keep
fighting till the very end?
Can't we just let it go?
Just let it go, dad.
Please dad...
Just let go.
Come on.
Oh, baby.
Come here.
Now get out of the water.
You'll catch a cold.
Is he even here?
I'll go. I'll go check his room.
Whoa! Check out the rhino.
Oh, fuck off!
Or I'll feed your
rotten liver the devil.
'Fuck off! Or I'll feed your
rotten liver to the devil!'
Disgusting, dude.
Okay professor,
we're rolling now.
And please try not to use
proper textbook Gaelic.
Speak naturally.
Oh, don't worry. I don't
know any textbook Gaelic.
That's what you do here, is it?
Listen to stories for a living?
I've been workin'
at the wrong job.
My name is Rory MacNeil.
I'm 74 years old,
I was born in Vallasay,
on the Isle of Lewis
in the Northern Hebrides,
in Scotland.
The MacNeils have lived in
Vallasay for nearly 2000 years.
Now, tell us a story in Gaelic.
Oh! Oh hello.
What happened?
I think I have to lie down.
Come on.
Let's get you upstairs.
You're very sweet.
You are so wet.
You know, a sofa
would have been fine.
Oh, don't be silly.
Let's get these damp pants off.
Now, let me warn you...
these are the height
of fashion in Vallasay,
I swear.
I always wondered, what
you wear under the kilt.
A mystery.
Warm enough, yet?
Getting there.
Would it be terrible...
if we just held one another?
I don't feel upto anything else.
What I would give...
for you to see me
back in the day...
If I could only...
Oh, this is...
this is everything.
We should have met years ago.
We met...
at just the right time.
But we don't have enough of it.
Some people don't
even have this.
Not even when they're young.
Not even in their
whole life time.
I know that smile.
Oh God. Oh God.
-Could you see if his labs are back yet?
You can see him now.
How is he doing?
Well, we're gonna keep him
overnight just to be safe.
He can go home in the morning.
There's not a lot we
can do for him now,
medically speaking...
Thank you, doc.tor
You have a visitor.
Do you need anything?
Could you lift me up a little?
Okay, come here,
come here, come here.
No, no, no no. Use
the remote, idiot.
How's that?
Take me home.
-Doctor says I can take you home tomorrow.
to our home.
To Vallasay.
We'll all go, dad.
You wait till you see my museum.
Only mine is completely natural.
It is made from
sea and the stone.
You just stand there...
look at it.
It takes your breath away.
I don't know, I...
I don't think I'm coming
with you to Vallasay.
This is the time for
you to be with Ian.
It is time for him.
What about us?
you have to have a pint with...
Fraser and Alice in the pub.
You must dig for
mussels by the sea.
And you have to come with me
to piss on a certain
person's grave.
I love how you make me laugh.
Oh, it's alright.
It's alright.
You don't have to come.
you are a Vallasay.
Look, Jamie, Jamie...
Oh, beautiful!
-Come on.
-Here we go
Now, there!
He's smiling on the inside.
Dad, come here.
Come get in the picture.
Who do you take me for?
A bloody tourist?
-Come on, dad.
-Do not call me dad!
I'm Seanair.
Right. Come here.
Get in the middle.
Come on.
Come on.
I want a smile out of you.
Come on.
Hey look!
Dad, you wanna come show Jamie
where we cut the mussels?
-Why don't you do it?
You sure?
It's about time you
had this, don't you think?
-I'll just safe-keep it for Jamie.
-It is yours.
I hope you'll...
pass it on, one day but
that's your decision to make.
'My little warrior'.
I wasn't much of a warrior, was I?
I gave you that too soon.
I couldn't wait to
make a man of you.
The kind of man I was.
I didn't have the patience
to see the kind of man,
you'd become.
Let's go.
I won't be here much
longer to guide you.
But keep your eye on the stars.
They'll show you the way.
The important thing is:
If you love someone,
make sure to say it.
Don't think another
be a better time...
because there never will.
I would have made a lot
of of people happier...
if only...
Look, this is where
your seanair lived.
Jamie, come on!
I'll race you to the house.
I'm winning, I'm winning!
I'm winning. I will beat you.
I'm winning.
Oh no!
Oh, you've beaten me again.
Every time.