The Exorcism of Saint Patrick (2024) Movie Script
1
[creaking]
[crackling]
[uneasy music]
[suspenseful music]
[male voice echoing]
Step right up.
[clock ticking]
[door creaks]
[footsteps approaching]
[door creaking]
[clock ticking]
[ominous music]
[woman over phone]
Alana, I know
that you're scared.
You're probably thinking,
"Why is God doing this to me?
What did I do to deserve this?"
And, you know,
sometimes God challenges us
to bring us to our highest self.
We just want you to know
that we love you so much.
We love you so much, Jellybean.
And we can't wait
to get our daughter back.
[sobbing]
[ominous music]
[sobbing]
[clock ticking]
[Alana sobbing]
I break myself from every
spirit of sexual perversion
in the name of Jesus.
I release myself
from every spiritual pollution
emanating from my past sins
of fornication
and sexual immorality
in Jesus's name.
I release myself from
every ancestral pollution
in the name of Jesus.
I release myself
from every dream's pollution
in the name of Jesus.
Every spirit
of sexual perversion
working against my life,
be paralyzed,
and get out of my life!
Every demon
of sexual perversion
assigned to my life,
be bound in the name of Jesus!
Oh, Lord, let the fire
of sexual perversion
oppressing my life
receive the fire of God!
[continues sobbing]
In the name,
in the name of Jesus.
[man]
So, why don't we, uh...
-Do you want to be Pat or Trick?
-[boy] Huh?
[man]
We're both named Patrick.
So I was thinking I could be Pat
and you could be Trick.
Does that sound okay to you?
[clock ticking]
[Pat sips, gulps]
[inhales]
Patrick Sherman,
October 22nd, 9:59 a.m.
First interview
with Patrick Ableman.
Okay, Trick...
...how are you feeling?
Fine.
How are you feeling?
I can do this all on my own,
but it'll go much faster
if you help me out.
So, how are you feeling?
Nervous.
Hey.
Progress.
No need to be nervous.
How do you know my parents?
[snickers] I don't.
Not socially.
They called me because I have
some experience in this area.
Fixing people?
I don't think
you need fixing, Trick.
I think you were fine
just the way you are.
Look... [sighs]
if you don't want to be here,
you just say the word,
and I'll take you home
right now.
Okay, I would like
to go home now, please.
But I think you should know
that your parents
are really concerned.
-And if you continue
acting out...
-Right.
-...I'm sure I don't
have to tell you...
-No.
...that I am the nice version
of this.
-I get that.
-Yeah.
[breath trembles]
Okay.
Okay.
Just one question.
Are you happy?
No.
Why is that?
[sighs] Your mom says
a lot of your friends are girls.
I guess.
Do you think
that's healthy for a young man?
I don't know.
They're nice to me.
Sure.
Life isn't always about
doing what's easy, Trick.
Your parents love you so much.
They just want you to be happy.
Don't you want that too?
I want to be happy.
Yeah, and to be
part of a family.
[sobs] Yeah.
-And the community
of the church.
-[sobs]
You know, um,
I talked to everybody
over there...
...and you are just
the absolute golden boy.
[chuckles] Everybody loves you.
And love in this world
is precious.
It is limited.
You cannot waste it.
I have seen some people
walk the road you're walking,
and... there's not
a lot of love there.
[tuts]
If there were a pill
that could magically fix this,
would you take it?
There isn't.
But if there was,
wouldn't it make
things easier? [snickers]
But there isn't.
Being gay
is a lonely life, Trick.
My heart goes out
to young homosexuals everywhere.
The violence and the bullying
that they experience
is inexcusable.
But it is avoidable.
You're what, 17?
Scientifically speaking,
your sexuality hasn't set yet.
You're still developing.
And that is good news
if you want a normal life.
And not just a normal life.
Look, I'm not
a big hell kind of guy,
but, you know, gay folk...
...they just don't go to heaven.
They just don't.
Leviticus. Genesis.
Can I have my phone back now?
[scoffs]
Well...
Okay.
Okay.
You're lucky
I'm such a nice guy. [chuckles]
[pensive music]
[muted]
[birds chirping]
And done.
Amazing job, dude. High five.
[Trick panting]
Oh, okay. Here's what you do.
Stand up straight.
Hands behind your head.
Really open up your lungs.
[Trick panting]
You'll recover faster.
[Trick exhales]
Learned that playing D1 at Yale.
[Trick playing guitar]
[Trick]
What a fellowship
What a joy divine
Leaning on
The everlasting arms
What a blessedness
What a peace is mine
Leaning on
The everlasting arms
[water running]
Leaning, leaning
Leaning--
[Pat]
Leaning on
the everlasting arms
Safe and secure...
[Trick continues indistinctly]
[insects chirping]
Oh, how sweet to walk
in this pilgrim way
Leaning on
the everlasting arms
Oh, how bright the path
grows from day to day
Leaning on
the everlasting arms
Leaning
Leaning
Safe and secure
from all alarms
Leaning on
the everlasting arms
Leaning, leaning
Safe and secure from...
[ominous music]
[sighs] Today, we're going
to talk about honesty.
You remember I asked you
if you had any sexual encounters
with other boys,
and you said no.
Were you telling the truth?
"I want to take your cock
down my throat
until I can't breathe.
Daddy."
It's not a big deal.
Okay, cool.
I'll just send these
to your mom, then.
Relax. I'm not going to do that.
We have confidentiality here.
What do you want me to do?
I want you to say
as honestly as you can...
...that you are lost.
I'm lost.
Again.
I'm lost.
Say that you don't
know yourself.
I don't know myself.
Say that you're a liar.
I'm a liar.
Who'd you lie to?
I lied to you.
Yeah. Who else?
Myself.
Why did you lie?
I don't know.
You lied because you were trying
to justify your sin.
-[tearfully] Okay.
-Say it.
I lied to justify my sin.
[breath trembling]
What did you do?
[crying] I told Derek
I wanted to suck his penis.
-Say you need help.
-[crying] I need help.
There you go.
Beg me to help you.
-[crying]
-On your knees!
[serene music]
Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
[panting] Stop.
I need to stop.
We're still a good mile short.
I can't carry this anymore.
[panting]
Why am I making you do this?
Because the weight of the rocks
is like the weight
of a life of sin.
And that weight
doesn't get any lighter,
does it?
In fact... [clears throat]
...oh, boy, it gets heavier.
[Pat grunts]
-[ominous music]
-[thunder rumbling]
[pen rasping]
[ominous music]
[voices whispering indistinctly]
[ominous music]
[somber music]
[Pat]
Mm-mm.
There are pages ripped out.
[clock ticking]
Come on, bud,
I'm starving here. [sighs]
All right, that, that's enough.
That's enough.
-You know--
-What?
You know,
there are many churches
that just don't care anymore.
There are gay pastors.
Do you think
we should be like that?
Maybe.
Sure, we could... [swallows]
...make concessions.
A lot more people
into the whole
Joel Osteen thing.
Hey, we could
put in carnival rides.
That's not what I'm saying.
I know how badly
you want to be accepted
for who you think you are.
And nothing
would make me happier
than to throw open
the doors and say,
"Come on in, be gay, whatever."
But every concession
to the outside world
costs a little bit of our souls.
Makes us a little less distinct.
Makes it mean less
to be one of us.
And the easiest concessions
cost most of all.
But why is it wrong?
It's in the book.
-Well, why does the book
say it's wrong?
-I don't know, bud.
I don't need to know.
[clock ticking]
[rustling]
[suspenseful music]
[door opens and closes]
[door opens and closes]
[suspenseful music]
[breath trembling]
[Alana sniffles]
[breath trembling]
[sniffles]
Do you know what this is?
Does this look
like Tylenol to you?
[sighs, gulps]
[sniffling] Forty-four...
[crying]
...forty-five...
[gulps]
Forty-six.
-[suspenseful music]
-[Trick gasping]
That was really stupid.
[sighs]
Where were you even going to go?
[locks door]
Huh?
And what am I
going to tell your parents?
-Tell them what you want--
-Hey!
That attitude doesn't cut
any fucking ice with me, okay?
[somber music]
[strumming]
[leaves rustling, crunching]
"I'm so scared of hell.
The only reason
I don't kill myself
is because
I'm so scared of hell."
[inhales deeply]
Do you think I'm an idiot?
-[sucks teeth]
-No.
So, what, I find these pages
conveniently sticking,
sticking out
from under a rock...
...and I rush you home.
That was the plan?
-There was no plan.
-Bullshit!
Get up.
-[Trick grunting]
-[Pat] Men do not use
cheap schemes or manipulation.
-Men fight. Come on.
-[Trick grunting]
Combat. Survival.
-Tap into it. Come on, Trick!
-[groans]
We're in the arena.
Here come the lions!
[Trick panting]
[clears throat]
Man, those lions would
eat you up real quick, huh?
What's wrong with you?
Nothing.
Do you like this?
Do you like hurting people?
If Jesus were alive,
he would never forgive you.
Trick...
-...I have not lied to you...
-[breathing heavily]
...nor misrepresented
my faith once.
Not once.
I am here
because I genuinely believe
that I am saving your soul
from an eternity of torment.
I really believe that, okay?
I promise.
Now, I think
you owe me an apology.
Trick... apologize.
[Trick shudders]
Stand up.
[sighs]
Maybe you don't need therapy.
Maybe you need
some outside stimulus.
-[Trick grunts softly]
-What are you going
to do about it?
-Stop.
-Come on.
-Stop.
-What are you going to do?
-Stop.
-I'm not hitting you.
We're fighting.
Come on. Come on!
What are you
going to do about it?
Come on, Trick!
-S--
-Come on!
[exhales]
Where's your fight?
-Come on.
-Go ahead.
Do whatever you want.
[Trick thuds]
What am I going to do
with you, Patrick?
[sighs]
[somber music]
[Pat]
I just don't know what to do.
He's fighting me on everything.
[man over phone]
Have you tried aversion?
[Pat]
I thought we weren't, uh...
allowed to do that anymore.
[man]
Well, I guess that's true,
but... [chuckles] ...we are
on a razor's edge out here.
If this goes south,
I don't think
you're gonna have a job.
But, you know,
do what you think is right.
[tape rips]
[Pat]
Where have you been?
[Trick hesitates]
Nowhere.
Okay.
Well...
...I know I've been
a little hard on you lately.
I figured you deserve
something special.
So, uh, tell me something.
[Trick]
Hm.
Something different.
Nothing about sex.
Nothing about God.
Just, um, uh...
What do you want to be
when you grow up?
So, um...
...I always thought
it would be kind of cool
to work, like...
-...in, like art conservation
and restoration.
-[snickers]
Oh, what's that entail?
So, um...
...this guy from the MEcame to our class
to talk about how
-complicated it was
to do art exhibits.
-Mm.
Like, you have to conceive it,
find money,
ask other museums
to donate their stuff,
transport it, inspect it
from both ends,
like, get insurance.
Like, the whole thing
is really complicated.
Transportation is really hard.
You have to be really gentle.
Uh, you know, I know, um,
a couple of guys
at the county museum. [snickers]
It's not the MET, but, uh,
maybe we could get you
-an internship or something.
-Oh, I don't want an internship.
-Or--
-Why do you do that?
You kind of turtle up.
Do you get bullied?
Oh, yeah.
-Everyone does.
-Mm-mm.
I never did.
What happens?
So, um...
...there's like these,
these main group of dudes
who are all like, uh...
[breath trembling]
...really intense.
And, uh...
...they do things
that are like, um...
-It's all right.
-[crying] ...really intense,
and, like...
[sniffles] And I don't think
that I come off as gay
or anything, but...
[crying]
...I can't help it.
And I try to avoid them
at school.
And you probably don't know this
about Saint Mark's.
It's actually a really...
[crying] ...fascinating school.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
It's okay, it's okay,
it's okay, it's okay.
-Don't worry about it.
-[sobbing]
Hey.
Hey, can we, um...
Can we not talk about it?
I wasn't gonna.
Okay. 'Cause, y-- you know,
I'm actually feeling
much better now.
-You are?
-Yeah.
I mean, about the gay stuff.
Like, I, I was just thinking
that maybe this kind of worked.
Like, I was just thinking
that maybe this kind of worked.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, genuinely, like,
I don't... I think about guys,
and I don't feel
or want anything, so,
yeah, may, maybe we can
go back home now?
Are you being honest, Patrick?
Okay, we can...
...we can stay here
for another day,
if that's what you want.
[Pat sighs]
Actually... I want to try
something a little different.
Are you familiar
with aversion therapy?
No worries.
Drink this, please.
What is it?
If you drink this,
I will take you home tonight.
[exhales]
[exhales]
It's called ipecac.
It's an emetic.
What are you doing?
[Pat sighs]
I really value
what you were sharing
with me earlier.
Your job now is to not let
what's about to happen
jeopardize our closeness.
Okay?
How are you feeling?
My tongue feels numb.
[Trick panting]
[Pat]
Into the tub, please.
There you go.
There you go.
[Trick groans]
[panting]
What's an emetic?
It is a gastric irritant.
How are we doing?
You feeling it?
-[panting]
-Yeah.
[coughs]
[moaning on video]
[indistinct talking on video]
Eyes up, kiddo.
Yeah. Eyes up. Eyes open.
Come on. Come on.
-Come on. Open--
-I can't.
Yes, you can.
There you go. That's it.
-That's good. Look.
-It hurts.
-Is this what you want?
-[men moaning on video]
Good, good. You're doing good.
Is this what you want?
Is this what you want?
[crying] Stop!
Don't ask me, Trick. Ask God.
-Please!
-Ask him, Trick.
-I'm sorry!
-Is this what you want?
-[Trick crying]
-[men moaning on video]
Open your eyes, Patrick.
Open your eyes. Open your eyes.
-Eyes open, Patrick!
-[Trick sobbing]
Hell is not a game.
This is a spa treatment
compared to hell.
-I'm so sorry!
-Are you planning
on lying to me again?
-I'm so sorry!
-Are you planning
on lying to me again?
-[sobbing]
-[moaning continues]
I'm sorry!
Are you?
I'm sorry!
-[moaning, grunting on video]
-[Trick sobbing] I'm so sorry!
I won't lie!
Oh, Jesus! God!
-I'm sorry!
-[grunting]
[sobbing, retching]
[sobbing] Please!
[retching]
[retching, groaning]
[whimpering]
[heavy breathing on video]
There's nothing
I can do now, Trick.
Some things
you just have to endure.
-[Trick retching]
-[moaning on video]
[Trick panting]
[somber music]
[heavy breathing]
[shudders]
[somber music]
You still don't feel
like talking?
It hurts me
when you do this, Trick.
[snickers]
All right.
[door creaks]
[male voice]
One of us.
-Forever.
-Forever.
Forever. Forever.
Forever. Forever.
Forever. Forever.
[man talking indistinctly on TV]
My wife since...
...served Jesus today.
"How did you
serve Jesus today?"
I said, "Say what?"
And she just said it again.
She said, "How did you
serve Jesus today?"
I said, "Well, Pastor,
I serve Jesus every day
with all my heart."
A gentle approach
is usually better.
We, uh, feel the same.
But firm.
Sure, sure. Gentle but firm.
That's really the trick,
isn't it?
[Kai]
Do you, uh, need a water?
You were at redemption
with Alan, right?
Oh. You know Alan.
[Deb]
We think what happened to him
was just criminal.
Well, there will always be those
who don't understand.
It's just a shame
so many of them are
federal regulators. [chuckles]
I'm serious.
Christians are
more persecuted now
than they were
during the Roman Empire.
It's definitely alarming.
[man on TV
continues indistinctly]
Do you do exorcisms?
[man on TV]
He is a mighty God.
[chuckles softly]
Uh, well, no. Not technically.
I am not empowered to do that.
Uh, Deb thinks it's a demon.
-You don't have to
say it like that.
-Sorry.
[Deb]
I don't think it's a demon.
I strongly suspect
demonic influence.
Not uncommon
in a case like this.
But I don't,
I don't deal in demons.
After all, a demon can only
take root in a willing host.
[snickers]
So you treat the patient,
and the demons will go away
on their own.
[Deb]
There's a camp,
you know, in New Mexico.
They have
a water recreation area.
-And you do cost more.
-Sure.
And if money is a concern,
Jubilee is your best bet.
They're great folk.
-But your kid, what's his name?
-[Deb] Patrick.
Funny. [chuckles]
At Jubilee, Patrick will be
around 50 other kids
looked after
by four or five counselors.
If you go with me,
your son will be
my only priority.
-Money's no object.
-Money's... [chuckles]...
a small object.
How much
is the week-long retreat?
He's our son!
You fucker! You fucker!
[Kai sighs]
I am trying to save
our son's soul...
[continues hitting Kai]
...and all you can think about
is money!
[Pat breathing heavily]
[grunts]
[sighing]
[sighs]
[grunts]
Up, up, up.
Time to get up.
I am really pleased
with our progress yesterday.
We are through the hard stuff.
We're on the road to Damascus.
You know... [clears throat]
Paul reported intense pain
when Jesus visited him,
and he was struck blind.
The presence will do that.
[sighs]
Are we going to have
another day of sulking, Trick?
I really don't need you
ruining another day.
[suspenseful music]
[Trick]
To whoever reads this...
...I'm sorry for all the pain
that I've caused.
Damn it! [sighs]
[Trick]
I'm sorry for being
a disappointment to everybody.
I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.
I'm sorry, Mr. Sherman.
I'm sorry that it took me
so long to do the thing
that I know will make
everybody's lives easier.
[Pat grunting]
[Trick]
I'm just so scared of hell.
I'm so scared of hell.
[breathing heavily]
I'm so scared of hell.
I'm so scared of hell.
I'm so scared of hell.
[exhales]
[insects chirping]
[gasps softly]
[sighs]
[snickers]
I...
I don't know. [snickers]
[smacks lips]
I don't know what happened.
No, I... [sighs]
I... [sighs]
I don't know what happened.
He must've snuck out.
No. No signs.
You let me inform the parents.
I'm a preacher.
Look, let me inform...
Will you let me in-- Damn it.
[exhales]
Let me inform the parents.
I'm a preacher.
[snickers]
No, of course not. No, I have,
I have no idea where he went.
I just hope we find him
before it's too late.
Thank you, Officer.
[breathes deeply]
If there's anything I--
If there's anything I--
[exhales in frustration]
If there's anything I can do...
[exhales forcefully]
[ominous music]
[stone clatters]
[breathing heavily]
This is private property!
Don't think
I won't call the cops!
-[stones clattering]
-[yells in pain]
God!
[groans]
[pants]
[groaning]
[sighs]
[sighs]
[sniffs]
[sighs, opens drawer]
[sighs]
[stone thuds]
[panting]
[breath trembling]
-[woman] Excuse me!
-[gasps]
[stifles sob]
[breathing heavily]]
I know you're in there.
I can see your car.
Excuse me.
I'd like to talk to you.
[man]
Babe, come on.
Hey. Sorry.
Couldn't hear you over the sink.
Who are you?
Uh, I'm Pat.
You're not Alan.
Uh, no, ma'am.
And you're a pastor?
Yes, ma'am.
-Uh...
-[man] Babe,
-come on.
-[woman] Shh.
Is the kid in there?
What kid?
Oh.
Uh, yes. Um...
He, uh...
I don't really think of him
as a kid. He's asleep.
Asleep?
He was up late in prayer.
So, how do you know Alan?
Um, I'm a pastor.
[chuckles] Uh, I know.
Um, are you from around here?
Me and Alan, we, we go way back.
[snickers]
So, Alan knows
you're here, right?
Sure hope so.
-Yes, he does.
-And the kid.
What about him?
Hey, are you in there?
Is everything okay?
[smacks lips]
He's a deep sleeper.
How about I just come in
for a second and check?
That's so sweet of you,
but I think we better
let him rest.
I am responsible
for his welfare, after all.
And as far as I can tell,
you're just some trespasser.
[horn honks]
Honey, the range closes
in, like, an hour.
[woman]
All right.
Well...
-...take care.
-[Pat] You as well.
Take the car to the end
of the driveway, block the exit,
and call the cops.
[man sighs]
[car drives away]
[ominous music]
[light shuffling]
[ominous music]
[yells]
[high-pitched ringing]
[squelching]
[breathing heavily]
[gasps]
[inhales sharply]
[creaking]
[gasps]
[sirens wailing, approaching]
[breathing heavily]
[distant indistinct chatter]
[phone ringing]
[officer]
All right, now,
why don't you just tell me
-a little about what happened
over there?
-[softly] I don't know.
[officer]
Listen, Alan's a friend,
and we really don't want
to have to embarrass the church
or anything like that.
So, if you just tell me, uh...
[sniffs]
[sighs]
[footsteps approaching]
Well, here's the lay of it.
We can keep you out of jail.
[chuckles]
Lucky for you,
Judge Blatt, he's a friend.
But you're going to have
to disappear in a hurry.
Where do I go?
I could go to Rexburg.
Now, I know
you didn't just say that.
I feel like I've done
everything I can for you.
You ain't going to prison.
Be thankful.
Alan, I was working for you.
I told you to scare the kid,
not kill him.
That's not how I remember it.
What?
I remember you calling me
and, and telling me
to give the kid ipecac.
You already gave your testimony,
you absolute son of a bitch.
Maybe I remembered
something new.
Just give me a place to live.
God damn it.
Well... there's one place
I can put you.
[somber music]
[door unlocks, creaks]
[spray can hisses]
[insects chirping]
[sighs]
[sighs]
[exhales]
[sighs]
[breathes heavily]
[gasping]
[rustling]
[woman]
Heard you got off.
This is church property.
That's right.
Right up to that
line of trees over there.
And it's my property.
And if you so much as breathe
on my land,
I will do to you
what the state should have done.
I guess that'd be
about what I deserve. [sniffs]
Do you feel bad?
Do you think
about that poor boy?
Most days.
Most days?
Jesus Christ.
Somebody really should
put you out of your misery.
I'm sure somebody will.
[Pat on recording]
I don't think
you need fixing, Trick.
I think you're fine
just the way you are.
Look, if you don't want
to be here,
just say the word,
I'll take you home right now.
[Trick]
Okay. Um, I would like
to go home, please.
[Pat]
But I think you should know
that your parents
are really concerned.
And if you continue acting out,
they may try other things.
[Trick]
Right.
[Pat]
I'm sure I don't have
to tell you that I'm,
I'm the nice version of this.
[Trick]
I, I get that.
[Pat]
Okay.
Okay.
Just one question.
Are you happy?
[Trick]
I'm not.
[Pat]
Why is that?
[exhales]
[girl sobbing]
[exhales heavily]
[girl crying]
[thunder rumbling]
[exhales heavily]
[ominous music]
[breathes heavily]
[thunder rumbles]
[door opens]
[door closes]
[thunder rumbling]
[rain pattering]
[Alana]
Do you remember me, Patrick?
Of course I remember you.
How old are you now?
[Alana]
Twenty-two.
Wow.
-Last time I saw you--
-You don't remember me.
[Pat]
I'm sorry.
My name is Alana Conan.
What can I do for you,
Alana Conan?
It's so hard to focus.
[sighs] It's so hard
to know what's real.
[Pat]
Did you have something
that you wanted to say to me?
Yes.
That's right.
You told me...
...if I wanted to be a lesbian,
I should look like one.
I know that I was lucky.
There were rumors about
what the counselors did
to the other kids.
For a while,
I thought I was pretty lucky
that I just had my head shaved.
But I don't feel
that way anymore.
I need you to apologize.
Alana, from the bottom
of my heart...
...I am so sorry.
Okay.
But...
...at the time,
we thought we were
doing the right thing.
I just think it's important
to look at the larger context.
"The larger context."
The cultural context.
The older I get,
the more I feel it's...
-We're all just products
of our culture.
-I had, um...
I had, um...
...Tylenol, I think...
...in my medicine cabinet.
I didn't know
how much to take, so...
...I just took it all.
And now my stomach is...
...full of nails,
and chalk, and...
After the paramedics left,
I started walking.
Sometimes I felt... hungry.
Um... sometimes I felt sad.
And sometimes...
...my feet would leave the earth
for an hour at a time.
The others walk with me.
When they fade away...
I'll carry them.
And, and when I fade away...
...they'll carry me.
Who will carry you, Patrick?
You know, I really shouldn't
be having visitors this late.
Say you had, um... a baby.
A newborn baby... your son...
...and a rabid dog...
...broke into your house
and killed him.
Clawed out his eyeballs
and tore through
his soft little neck.
How would you kill a dog
that did that?
You have every right
to be angry with me.
Would you trap it?
Keep it in a little cage?
What would you do then?
Would you kick it?
Hit it with a stick?
Break its jaw?
Crush its bones? Uh...
Pull its teeth out one by one?
What do you do to something
that took away what was
most precious to you?
What do I do?
Trick.
[ominous music]
[ominous music]
[Trick]
Lord have mercy.
Christ have mercy.
God, son, the Redeemer
of the world...
[others]
Have mercy on us.
God, the Holy Spirit...
[others]
Have mercy on us.
[Trick]
Holy Trinity, one God...
[others]
Have mercy on us.
Holy Mary, pray for us.
[others]
Pray for us.
[grunting]
[groans]
[spluttering]
[choking]
[Trick]
Hold not thy peace
of God of my praise,
for the mouth of the wicked
and the mouth of the deceitful
are open against me.
-They have spoken against me
with lying tongues...
-[coughing]
...and have rewarded me
evil for good
and hatred for my love.
When he shall be judged,
let him be condemned.
Let his prayer become sin,
-let his days be few,
and let another take his office.
-[coughing]
Let his children be fatherless,
and wife a widow.
Let his children
be continually vagabonds
in death.
-[others speaking indistinctly]
-Let them seek out their bread
also out of
their desolate place.
Let there be none
to extend mercy unto him...
-Let not the sin of his mother
be blotted out.
-...neither let there be any
to father
his favorless children.
[retches, spits]
[coughs]
In the name of the children
who you murdered,
and the ones who survived,
the ones who clawed
their lives back from you,
who cut you out
like the cancer you are.
[pensive music]
[birds chirping]
I'm not surprised.
That's all I'm saying.
Not surprised somebody did it.
I didn't do it. [chuckles]
But...
...not surprised somebody did.
Is he in there?
[man]
Yeah, but it's not
something really that you...
You okay, miss?
Well, now I don't know
how to feel.
[camera shutter clicking]
[camera shutter clicking]
[somber music]
[indistinct, muffled chatter]
[muffled laughter]
[somber music]
[melancholic piano music]
[creaking]
[crackling]
[uneasy music]
[suspenseful music]
[male voice echoing]
Step right up.
[clock ticking]
[door creaks]
[footsteps approaching]
[door creaking]
[clock ticking]
[ominous music]
[woman over phone]
Alana, I know
that you're scared.
You're probably thinking,
"Why is God doing this to me?
What did I do to deserve this?"
And, you know,
sometimes God challenges us
to bring us to our highest self.
We just want you to know
that we love you so much.
We love you so much, Jellybean.
And we can't wait
to get our daughter back.
[sobbing]
[ominous music]
[sobbing]
[clock ticking]
[Alana sobbing]
I break myself from every
spirit of sexual perversion
in the name of Jesus.
I release myself
from every spiritual pollution
emanating from my past sins
of fornication
and sexual immorality
in Jesus's name.
I release myself from
every ancestral pollution
in the name of Jesus.
I release myself
from every dream's pollution
in the name of Jesus.
Every spirit
of sexual perversion
working against my life,
be paralyzed,
and get out of my life!
Every demon
of sexual perversion
assigned to my life,
be bound in the name of Jesus!
Oh, Lord, let the fire
of sexual perversion
oppressing my life
receive the fire of God!
[continues sobbing]
In the name,
in the name of Jesus.
[man]
So, why don't we, uh...
-Do you want to be Pat or Trick?
-[boy] Huh?
[man]
We're both named Patrick.
So I was thinking I could be Pat
and you could be Trick.
Does that sound okay to you?
[clock ticking]
[Pat sips, gulps]
[inhales]
Patrick Sherman,
October 22nd, 9:59 a.m.
First interview
with Patrick Ableman.
Okay, Trick...
...how are you feeling?
Fine.
How are you feeling?
I can do this all on my own,
but it'll go much faster
if you help me out.
So, how are you feeling?
Nervous.
Hey.
Progress.
No need to be nervous.
How do you know my parents?
[snickers] I don't.
Not socially.
They called me because I have
some experience in this area.
Fixing people?
I don't think
you need fixing, Trick.
I think you were fine
just the way you are.
Look... [sighs]
if you don't want to be here,
you just say the word,
and I'll take you home
right now.
Okay, I would like
to go home now, please.
But I think you should know
that your parents
are really concerned.
-And if you continue
acting out...
-Right.
-...I'm sure I don't
have to tell you...
-No.
...that I am the nice version
of this.
-I get that.
-Yeah.
[breath trembles]
Okay.
Okay.
Just one question.
Are you happy?
No.
Why is that?
[sighs] Your mom says
a lot of your friends are girls.
I guess.
Do you think
that's healthy for a young man?
I don't know.
They're nice to me.
Sure.
Life isn't always about
doing what's easy, Trick.
Your parents love you so much.
They just want you to be happy.
Don't you want that too?
I want to be happy.
Yeah, and to be
part of a family.
[sobs] Yeah.
-And the community
of the church.
-[sobs]
You know, um,
I talked to everybody
over there...
...and you are just
the absolute golden boy.
[chuckles] Everybody loves you.
And love in this world
is precious.
It is limited.
You cannot waste it.
I have seen some people
walk the road you're walking,
and... there's not
a lot of love there.
[tuts]
If there were a pill
that could magically fix this,
would you take it?
There isn't.
But if there was,
wouldn't it make
things easier? [snickers]
But there isn't.
Being gay
is a lonely life, Trick.
My heart goes out
to young homosexuals everywhere.
The violence and the bullying
that they experience
is inexcusable.
But it is avoidable.
You're what, 17?
Scientifically speaking,
your sexuality hasn't set yet.
You're still developing.
And that is good news
if you want a normal life.
And not just a normal life.
Look, I'm not
a big hell kind of guy,
but, you know, gay folk...
...they just don't go to heaven.
They just don't.
Leviticus. Genesis.
Can I have my phone back now?
[scoffs]
Well...
Okay.
Okay.
You're lucky
I'm such a nice guy. [chuckles]
[pensive music]
[muted]
[birds chirping]
And done.
Amazing job, dude. High five.
[Trick panting]
Oh, okay. Here's what you do.
Stand up straight.
Hands behind your head.
Really open up your lungs.
[Trick panting]
You'll recover faster.
[Trick exhales]
Learned that playing D1 at Yale.
[Trick playing guitar]
[Trick]
What a fellowship
What a joy divine
Leaning on
The everlasting arms
What a blessedness
What a peace is mine
Leaning on
The everlasting arms
[water running]
Leaning, leaning
Leaning--
[Pat]
Leaning on
the everlasting arms
Safe and secure...
[Trick continues indistinctly]
[insects chirping]
Oh, how sweet to walk
in this pilgrim way
Leaning on
the everlasting arms
Oh, how bright the path
grows from day to day
Leaning on
the everlasting arms
Leaning
Leaning
Safe and secure
from all alarms
Leaning on
the everlasting arms
Leaning, leaning
Safe and secure from...
[ominous music]
[sighs] Today, we're going
to talk about honesty.
You remember I asked you
if you had any sexual encounters
with other boys,
and you said no.
Were you telling the truth?
"I want to take your cock
down my throat
until I can't breathe.
Daddy."
It's not a big deal.
Okay, cool.
I'll just send these
to your mom, then.
Relax. I'm not going to do that.
We have confidentiality here.
What do you want me to do?
I want you to say
as honestly as you can...
...that you are lost.
I'm lost.
Again.
I'm lost.
Say that you don't
know yourself.
I don't know myself.
Say that you're a liar.
I'm a liar.
Who'd you lie to?
I lied to you.
Yeah. Who else?
Myself.
Why did you lie?
I don't know.
You lied because you were trying
to justify your sin.
-[tearfully] Okay.
-Say it.
I lied to justify my sin.
[breath trembling]
What did you do?
[crying] I told Derek
I wanted to suck his penis.
-Say you need help.
-[crying] I need help.
There you go.
Beg me to help you.
-[crying]
-On your knees!
[serene music]
Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
[panting] Stop.
I need to stop.
We're still a good mile short.
I can't carry this anymore.
[panting]
Why am I making you do this?
Because the weight of the rocks
is like the weight
of a life of sin.
And that weight
doesn't get any lighter,
does it?
In fact... [clears throat]
...oh, boy, it gets heavier.
[Pat grunts]
-[ominous music]
-[thunder rumbling]
[pen rasping]
[ominous music]
[voices whispering indistinctly]
[ominous music]
[somber music]
[Pat]
Mm-mm.
There are pages ripped out.
[clock ticking]
Come on, bud,
I'm starving here. [sighs]
All right, that, that's enough.
That's enough.
-You know--
-What?
You know,
there are many churches
that just don't care anymore.
There are gay pastors.
Do you think
we should be like that?
Maybe.
Sure, we could... [swallows]
...make concessions.
A lot more people
into the whole
Joel Osteen thing.
Hey, we could
put in carnival rides.
That's not what I'm saying.
I know how badly
you want to be accepted
for who you think you are.
And nothing
would make me happier
than to throw open
the doors and say,
"Come on in, be gay, whatever."
But every concession
to the outside world
costs a little bit of our souls.
Makes us a little less distinct.
Makes it mean less
to be one of us.
And the easiest concessions
cost most of all.
But why is it wrong?
It's in the book.
-Well, why does the book
say it's wrong?
-I don't know, bud.
I don't need to know.
[clock ticking]
[rustling]
[suspenseful music]
[door opens and closes]
[door opens and closes]
[suspenseful music]
[breath trembling]
[Alana sniffles]
[breath trembling]
[sniffles]
Do you know what this is?
Does this look
like Tylenol to you?
[sighs, gulps]
[sniffling] Forty-four...
[crying]
...forty-five...
[gulps]
Forty-six.
-[suspenseful music]
-[Trick gasping]
That was really stupid.
[sighs]
Where were you even going to go?
[locks door]
Huh?
And what am I
going to tell your parents?
-Tell them what you want--
-Hey!
That attitude doesn't cut
any fucking ice with me, okay?
[somber music]
[strumming]
[leaves rustling, crunching]
"I'm so scared of hell.
The only reason
I don't kill myself
is because
I'm so scared of hell."
[inhales deeply]
Do you think I'm an idiot?
-[sucks teeth]
-No.
So, what, I find these pages
conveniently sticking,
sticking out
from under a rock...
...and I rush you home.
That was the plan?
-There was no plan.
-Bullshit!
Get up.
-[Trick grunting]
-[Pat] Men do not use
cheap schemes or manipulation.
-Men fight. Come on.
-[Trick grunting]
Combat. Survival.
-Tap into it. Come on, Trick!
-[groans]
We're in the arena.
Here come the lions!
[Trick panting]
[clears throat]
Man, those lions would
eat you up real quick, huh?
What's wrong with you?
Nothing.
Do you like this?
Do you like hurting people?
If Jesus were alive,
he would never forgive you.
Trick...
-...I have not lied to you...
-[breathing heavily]
...nor misrepresented
my faith once.
Not once.
I am here
because I genuinely believe
that I am saving your soul
from an eternity of torment.
I really believe that, okay?
I promise.
Now, I think
you owe me an apology.
Trick... apologize.
[Trick shudders]
Stand up.
[sighs]
Maybe you don't need therapy.
Maybe you need
some outside stimulus.
-[Trick grunts softly]
-What are you going
to do about it?
-Stop.
-Come on.
-Stop.
-What are you going to do?
-Stop.
-I'm not hitting you.
We're fighting.
Come on. Come on!
What are you
going to do about it?
Come on, Trick!
-S--
-Come on!
[exhales]
Where's your fight?
-Come on.
-Go ahead.
Do whatever you want.
[Trick thuds]
What am I going to do
with you, Patrick?
[sighs]
[somber music]
[Pat]
I just don't know what to do.
He's fighting me on everything.
[man over phone]
Have you tried aversion?
[Pat]
I thought we weren't, uh...
allowed to do that anymore.
[man]
Well, I guess that's true,
but... [chuckles] ...we are
on a razor's edge out here.
If this goes south,
I don't think
you're gonna have a job.
But, you know,
do what you think is right.
[tape rips]
[Pat]
Where have you been?
[Trick hesitates]
Nowhere.
Okay.
Well...
...I know I've been
a little hard on you lately.
I figured you deserve
something special.
So, uh, tell me something.
[Trick]
Hm.
Something different.
Nothing about sex.
Nothing about God.
Just, um, uh...
What do you want to be
when you grow up?
So, um...
...I always thought
it would be kind of cool
to work, like...
-...in, like art conservation
and restoration.
-[snickers]
Oh, what's that entail?
So, um...
...this guy from the MEcame to our class
to talk about how
-complicated it was
to do art exhibits.
-Mm.
Like, you have to conceive it,
find money,
ask other museums
to donate their stuff,
transport it, inspect it
from both ends,
like, get insurance.
Like, the whole thing
is really complicated.
Transportation is really hard.
You have to be really gentle.
Uh, you know, I know, um,
a couple of guys
at the county museum. [snickers]
It's not the MET, but, uh,
maybe we could get you
-an internship or something.
-Oh, I don't want an internship.
-Or--
-Why do you do that?
You kind of turtle up.
Do you get bullied?
Oh, yeah.
-Everyone does.
-Mm-mm.
I never did.
What happens?
So, um...
...there's like these,
these main group of dudes
who are all like, uh...
[breath trembling]
...really intense.
And, uh...
...they do things
that are like, um...
-It's all right.
-[crying] ...really intense,
and, like...
[sniffles] And I don't think
that I come off as gay
or anything, but...
[crying]
...I can't help it.
And I try to avoid them
at school.
And you probably don't know this
about Saint Mark's.
It's actually a really...
[crying] ...fascinating school.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
It's okay, it's okay,
it's okay, it's okay.
-Don't worry about it.
-[sobbing]
Hey.
Hey, can we, um...
Can we not talk about it?
I wasn't gonna.
Okay. 'Cause, y-- you know,
I'm actually feeling
much better now.
-You are?
-Yeah.
I mean, about the gay stuff.
Like, I, I was just thinking
that maybe this kind of worked.
Like, I was just thinking
that maybe this kind of worked.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, genuinely, like,
I don't... I think about guys,
and I don't feel
or want anything, so,
yeah, may, maybe we can
go back home now?
Are you being honest, Patrick?
Okay, we can...
...we can stay here
for another day,
if that's what you want.
[Pat sighs]
Actually... I want to try
something a little different.
Are you familiar
with aversion therapy?
No worries.
Drink this, please.
What is it?
If you drink this,
I will take you home tonight.
[exhales]
[exhales]
It's called ipecac.
It's an emetic.
What are you doing?
[Pat sighs]
I really value
what you were sharing
with me earlier.
Your job now is to not let
what's about to happen
jeopardize our closeness.
Okay?
How are you feeling?
My tongue feels numb.
[Trick panting]
[Pat]
Into the tub, please.
There you go.
There you go.
[Trick groans]
[panting]
What's an emetic?
It is a gastric irritant.
How are we doing?
You feeling it?
-[panting]
-Yeah.
[coughs]
[moaning on video]
[indistinct talking on video]
Eyes up, kiddo.
Yeah. Eyes up. Eyes open.
Come on. Come on.
-Come on. Open--
-I can't.
Yes, you can.
There you go. That's it.
-That's good. Look.
-It hurts.
-Is this what you want?
-[men moaning on video]
Good, good. You're doing good.
Is this what you want?
Is this what you want?
[crying] Stop!
Don't ask me, Trick. Ask God.
-Please!
-Ask him, Trick.
-I'm sorry!
-Is this what you want?
-[Trick crying]
-[men moaning on video]
Open your eyes, Patrick.
Open your eyes. Open your eyes.
-Eyes open, Patrick!
-[Trick sobbing]
Hell is not a game.
This is a spa treatment
compared to hell.
-I'm so sorry!
-Are you planning
on lying to me again?
-I'm so sorry!
-Are you planning
on lying to me again?
-[sobbing]
-[moaning continues]
I'm sorry!
Are you?
I'm sorry!
-[moaning, grunting on video]
-[Trick sobbing] I'm so sorry!
I won't lie!
Oh, Jesus! God!
-I'm sorry!
-[grunting]
[sobbing, retching]
[sobbing] Please!
[retching]
[retching, groaning]
[whimpering]
[heavy breathing on video]
There's nothing
I can do now, Trick.
Some things
you just have to endure.
-[Trick retching]
-[moaning on video]
[Trick panting]
[somber music]
[heavy breathing]
[shudders]
[somber music]
You still don't feel
like talking?
It hurts me
when you do this, Trick.
[snickers]
All right.
[door creaks]
[male voice]
One of us.
-Forever.
-Forever.
Forever. Forever.
Forever. Forever.
Forever. Forever.
[man talking indistinctly on TV]
My wife since...
...served Jesus today.
"How did you
serve Jesus today?"
I said, "Say what?"
And she just said it again.
She said, "How did you
serve Jesus today?"
I said, "Well, Pastor,
I serve Jesus every day
with all my heart."
A gentle approach
is usually better.
We, uh, feel the same.
But firm.
Sure, sure. Gentle but firm.
That's really the trick,
isn't it?
[Kai]
Do you, uh, need a water?
You were at redemption
with Alan, right?
Oh. You know Alan.
[Deb]
We think what happened to him
was just criminal.
Well, there will always be those
who don't understand.
It's just a shame
so many of them are
federal regulators. [chuckles]
I'm serious.
Christians are
more persecuted now
than they were
during the Roman Empire.
It's definitely alarming.
[man on TV
continues indistinctly]
Do you do exorcisms?
[man on TV]
He is a mighty God.
[chuckles softly]
Uh, well, no. Not technically.
I am not empowered to do that.
Uh, Deb thinks it's a demon.
-You don't have to
say it like that.
-Sorry.
[Deb]
I don't think it's a demon.
I strongly suspect
demonic influence.
Not uncommon
in a case like this.
But I don't,
I don't deal in demons.
After all, a demon can only
take root in a willing host.
[snickers]
So you treat the patient,
and the demons will go away
on their own.
[Deb]
There's a camp,
you know, in New Mexico.
They have
a water recreation area.
-And you do cost more.
-Sure.
And if money is a concern,
Jubilee is your best bet.
They're great folk.
-But your kid, what's his name?
-[Deb] Patrick.
Funny. [chuckles]
At Jubilee, Patrick will be
around 50 other kids
looked after
by four or five counselors.
If you go with me,
your son will be
my only priority.
-Money's no object.
-Money's... [chuckles]...
a small object.
How much
is the week-long retreat?
He's our son!
You fucker! You fucker!
[Kai sighs]
I am trying to save
our son's soul...
[continues hitting Kai]
...and all you can think about
is money!
[Pat breathing heavily]
[grunts]
[sighing]
[sighs]
[grunts]
Up, up, up.
Time to get up.
I am really pleased
with our progress yesterday.
We are through the hard stuff.
We're on the road to Damascus.
You know... [clears throat]
Paul reported intense pain
when Jesus visited him,
and he was struck blind.
The presence will do that.
[sighs]
Are we going to have
another day of sulking, Trick?
I really don't need you
ruining another day.
[suspenseful music]
[Trick]
To whoever reads this...
...I'm sorry for all the pain
that I've caused.
Damn it! [sighs]
[Trick]
I'm sorry for being
a disappointment to everybody.
I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.
I'm sorry, Mr. Sherman.
I'm sorry that it took me
so long to do the thing
that I know will make
everybody's lives easier.
[Pat grunting]
[Trick]
I'm just so scared of hell.
I'm so scared of hell.
[breathing heavily]
I'm so scared of hell.
I'm so scared of hell.
I'm so scared of hell.
[exhales]
[insects chirping]
[gasps softly]
[sighs]
[snickers]
I...
I don't know. [snickers]
[smacks lips]
I don't know what happened.
No, I... [sighs]
I... [sighs]
I don't know what happened.
He must've snuck out.
No. No signs.
You let me inform the parents.
I'm a preacher.
Look, let me inform...
Will you let me in-- Damn it.
[exhales]
Let me inform the parents.
I'm a preacher.
[snickers]
No, of course not. No, I have,
I have no idea where he went.
I just hope we find him
before it's too late.
Thank you, Officer.
[breathes deeply]
If there's anything I--
If there's anything I--
[exhales in frustration]
If there's anything I can do...
[exhales forcefully]
[ominous music]
[stone clatters]
[breathing heavily]
This is private property!
Don't think
I won't call the cops!
-[stones clattering]
-[yells in pain]
God!
[groans]
[pants]
[groaning]
[sighs]
[sighs]
[sniffs]
[sighs, opens drawer]
[sighs]
[stone thuds]
[panting]
[breath trembling]
-[woman] Excuse me!
-[gasps]
[stifles sob]
[breathing heavily]]
I know you're in there.
I can see your car.
Excuse me.
I'd like to talk to you.
[man]
Babe, come on.
Hey. Sorry.
Couldn't hear you over the sink.
Who are you?
Uh, I'm Pat.
You're not Alan.
Uh, no, ma'am.
And you're a pastor?
Yes, ma'am.
-Uh...
-[man] Babe,
-come on.
-[woman] Shh.
Is the kid in there?
What kid?
Oh.
Uh, yes. Um...
He, uh...
I don't really think of him
as a kid. He's asleep.
Asleep?
He was up late in prayer.
So, how do you know Alan?
Um, I'm a pastor.
[chuckles] Uh, I know.
Um, are you from around here?
Me and Alan, we, we go way back.
[snickers]
So, Alan knows
you're here, right?
Sure hope so.
-Yes, he does.
-And the kid.
What about him?
Hey, are you in there?
Is everything okay?
[smacks lips]
He's a deep sleeper.
How about I just come in
for a second and check?
That's so sweet of you,
but I think we better
let him rest.
I am responsible
for his welfare, after all.
And as far as I can tell,
you're just some trespasser.
[horn honks]
Honey, the range closes
in, like, an hour.
[woman]
All right.
Well...
-...take care.
-[Pat] You as well.
Take the car to the end
of the driveway, block the exit,
and call the cops.
[man sighs]
[car drives away]
[ominous music]
[light shuffling]
[ominous music]
[yells]
[high-pitched ringing]
[squelching]
[breathing heavily]
[gasps]
[inhales sharply]
[creaking]
[gasps]
[sirens wailing, approaching]
[breathing heavily]
[distant indistinct chatter]
[phone ringing]
[officer]
All right, now,
why don't you just tell me
-a little about what happened
over there?
-[softly] I don't know.
[officer]
Listen, Alan's a friend,
and we really don't want
to have to embarrass the church
or anything like that.
So, if you just tell me, uh...
[sniffs]
[sighs]
[footsteps approaching]
Well, here's the lay of it.
We can keep you out of jail.
[chuckles]
Lucky for you,
Judge Blatt, he's a friend.
But you're going to have
to disappear in a hurry.
Where do I go?
I could go to Rexburg.
Now, I know
you didn't just say that.
I feel like I've done
everything I can for you.
You ain't going to prison.
Be thankful.
Alan, I was working for you.
I told you to scare the kid,
not kill him.
That's not how I remember it.
What?
I remember you calling me
and, and telling me
to give the kid ipecac.
You already gave your testimony,
you absolute son of a bitch.
Maybe I remembered
something new.
Just give me a place to live.
God damn it.
Well... there's one place
I can put you.
[somber music]
[door unlocks, creaks]
[spray can hisses]
[insects chirping]
[sighs]
[sighs]
[exhales]
[sighs]
[breathes heavily]
[gasping]
[rustling]
[woman]
Heard you got off.
This is church property.
That's right.
Right up to that
line of trees over there.
And it's my property.
And if you so much as breathe
on my land,
I will do to you
what the state should have done.
I guess that'd be
about what I deserve. [sniffs]
Do you feel bad?
Do you think
about that poor boy?
Most days.
Most days?
Jesus Christ.
Somebody really should
put you out of your misery.
I'm sure somebody will.
[Pat on recording]
I don't think
you need fixing, Trick.
I think you're fine
just the way you are.
Look, if you don't want
to be here,
just say the word,
I'll take you home right now.
[Trick]
Okay. Um, I would like
to go home, please.
[Pat]
But I think you should know
that your parents
are really concerned.
And if you continue acting out,
they may try other things.
[Trick]
Right.
[Pat]
I'm sure I don't have
to tell you that I'm,
I'm the nice version of this.
[Trick]
I, I get that.
[Pat]
Okay.
Okay.
Just one question.
Are you happy?
[Trick]
I'm not.
[Pat]
Why is that?
[exhales]
[girl sobbing]
[exhales heavily]
[girl crying]
[thunder rumbling]
[exhales heavily]
[ominous music]
[breathes heavily]
[thunder rumbles]
[door opens]
[door closes]
[thunder rumbling]
[rain pattering]
[Alana]
Do you remember me, Patrick?
Of course I remember you.
How old are you now?
[Alana]
Twenty-two.
Wow.
-Last time I saw you--
-You don't remember me.
[Pat]
I'm sorry.
My name is Alana Conan.
What can I do for you,
Alana Conan?
It's so hard to focus.
[sighs] It's so hard
to know what's real.
[Pat]
Did you have something
that you wanted to say to me?
Yes.
That's right.
You told me...
...if I wanted to be a lesbian,
I should look like one.
I know that I was lucky.
There were rumors about
what the counselors did
to the other kids.
For a while,
I thought I was pretty lucky
that I just had my head shaved.
But I don't feel
that way anymore.
I need you to apologize.
Alana, from the bottom
of my heart...
...I am so sorry.
Okay.
But...
...at the time,
we thought we were
doing the right thing.
I just think it's important
to look at the larger context.
"The larger context."
The cultural context.
The older I get,
the more I feel it's...
-We're all just products
of our culture.
-I had, um...
I had, um...
...Tylenol, I think...
...in my medicine cabinet.
I didn't know
how much to take, so...
...I just took it all.
And now my stomach is...
...full of nails,
and chalk, and...
After the paramedics left,
I started walking.
Sometimes I felt... hungry.
Um... sometimes I felt sad.
And sometimes...
...my feet would leave the earth
for an hour at a time.
The others walk with me.
When they fade away...
I'll carry them.
And, and when I fade away...
...they'll carry me.
Who will carry you, Patrick?
You know, I really shouldn't
be having visitors this late.
Say you had, um... a baby.
A newborn baby... your son...
...and a rabid dog...
...broke into your house
and killed him.
Clawed out his eyeballs
and tore through
his soft little neck.
How would you kill a dog
that did that?
You have every right
to be angry with me.
Would you trap it?
Keep it in a little cage?
What would you do then?
Would you kick it?
Hit it with a stick?
Break its jaw?
Crush its bones? Uh...
Pull its teeth out one by one?
What do you do to something
that took away what was
most precious to you?
What do I do?
Trick.
[ominous music]
[ominous music]
[Trick]
Lord have mercy.
Christ have mercy.
God, son, the Redeemer
of the world...
[others]
Have mercy on us.
God, the Holy Spirit...
[others]
Have mercy on us.
[Trick]
Holy Trinity, one God...
[others]
Have mercy on us.
Holy Mary, pray for us.
[others]
Pray for us.
[grunting]
[groans]
[spluttering]
[choking]
[Trick]
Hold not thy peace
of God of my praise,
for the mouth of the wicked
and the mouth of the deceitful
are open against me.
-They have spoken against me
with lying tongues...
-[coughing]
...and have rewarded me
evil for good
and hatred for my love.
When he shall be judged,
let him be condemned.
Let his prayer become sin,
-let his days be few,
and let another take his office.
-[coughing]
Let his children be fatherless,
and wife a widow.
Let his children
be continually vagabonds
in death.
-[others speaking indistinctly]
-Let them seek out their bread
also out of
their desolate place.
Let there be none
to extend mercy unto him...
-Let not the sin of his mother
be blotted out.
-...neither let there be any
to father
his favorless children.
[retches, spits]
[coughs]
In the name of the children
who you murdered,
and the ones who survived,
the ones who clawed
their lives back from you,
who cut you out
like the cancer you are.
[pensive music]
[birds chirping]
I'm not surprised.
That's all I'm saying.
Not surprised somebody did it.
I didn't do it. [chuckles]
But...
...not surprised somebody did.
Is he in there?
[man]
Yeah, but it's not
something really that you...
You okay, miss?
Well, now I don't know
how to feel.
[camera shutter clicking]
[camera shutter clicking]
[somber music]
[indistinct, muffled chatter]
[muffled laughter]
[somber music]
[melancholic piano music]