The Far Flung Star (2013) Movie Script
(gentle music)
(gasping)
(dramatic music)
(woman crying)
(dramatic music)
(gasping)
(dramatic music)
(gasping)
(dramatic music)
(woman screaming)
I'm sorry my mother, Miriam,
slept with your brother Barry.
And I'm sorry your sister Stacy
killed herself because of it.
No.
Please don't kill me like you
killed your cousin, Kathleen.
(woman gasping)
[Laura] Jackie.
Laura.
You'll never get away with this.
Everybody knows that you killed Jessie.
[Jack] But I love you, Laura.
Oh, I love you too.
I love you too, Jackie,
I've always loved you.
I bet you didn't know that he
used to stand by the window
as you walked home from school,
gazing out at you and trace
the outline of your body.
I always knew someday you'd be mine.
I always loved you.
I loved you forever.
(gentle music)
So long, lover.
(Jack screaming)
(dramatic music)
Oh.
(dramatic music)
(woman crying)
(Laura crying)
(dramatic music)
(audience applauding)
[Man] Samantha, Samantha hi.
You look gorgeous, you're so good.
You look great.
You smell good.
(people speaking indistinctly)
Aren't you sweet.
(audience cheering)
What was your name again?
It's Diana Dunbar.
Could you sign this for me?
Sure, what's your name?
My name's Adam.
Adam.
He didn't even know my name.
Yes, but he recognized you.
You were only in the film for you know.
He didn't know my name, Archie.
You died off so quickly.
I mean, the fact that he recognized you
is pretty good.
- Thanks.
Yeah, all right.
(audience applauding)
So I was good, right?
What did you think, I was harrowing?
You're on the film
for 10 minutes, Diana.
Judi Dench won an Oscar
for just eight minutes.
Well, the only Oscar you're
gonna win is Oscar Mayer.
Sheila, Sheila, it's lovely to see you.
Archie Talbite.
This is Diana Dunbar.
Hi.
Oh, Diana.
Very brave.
(people speaking indistinctly)
You know what?
You need to stop doing
these terrible films,
if you wanna be taken
seriously as an actress.
You got me this job.
I know that, you know, when
your father died in 1978,
in that automobile accident,
it just totally informed
all of your acting.
What did you tap into
to just bring such a
strength to this part,
like it was unbelievable?
Well, my strength says that
it was my childhood memories.
Look at her eat that up.
(audience applauding)
[Man] Yes?
What was it like making this movie?
It was hell.
(all laughing)
Stop it.
Miss. Dunbar, hi.
Can you give us a quote
for More & Beat Magazine?
Sure, okay.
Okay, so you haven't had a starring role
since your last film.
What was it, moonlight something?
"By The Light Of The Moon."
This is like a real departure
from your other films.
Have you given up mainstream
movies to do horror?
Did I?
What do you do you mean?
We've got some surprises in store,
slated for release next summer.
Diana Dunbar will be a household name.
So listen, it must have been amazing
working along someone like Veronica Black.
What was it like?
She's.
She's not as good as you.
Thanks.
That's why the homeless aren't critics.
I'm not homeless.
You sure?
(gentle upbeat music)
Thank you all for coming.
(audience applauding)
Oh shit, come on.
Miss. Black, Miss. Black, please.
Excuse me.
(people speaking indistinctly)
Veronica Black sucks shit, no question.
But she's got the fans
and fans equal money.
Money equals jobs.
"By The Light Of The Moon" was a hit.
I still have fans
emailing me all the time.
[Archie] Prisoners are not a fan base.
How many times do I have to tell you that?
It's a start.
(people speaking indistinctly)
(insects chirping)
(gentle music)
I miss you, Mom.
Damn it Ian, this is totally
not what I need right now.
Barbara, I love you.
Barbara you must go, now.
Go Barbara.
Damn it, Bob.
I don't want go, I love you.
[Bob] I love you too Barbara,
that's why you must go.
Now get on that plane.
(gentle music)
(Barbara crying)
(gentle music)
Barbara wait.
Nothing.
Sorry.
Wait, Barbara.
What?
Forget it.
(laughing)
Wait Barbara.
[Barbara] What?
(laughing)
(gentle music)
(insects chirping)
(telephone ringing)
Hello.
(dramatic music)
Great, you can breathe.
Your mother must be so proud.
(dramatic music)
(door bell ringing)
Geez.
Oh my God.
(door bell ringing)
I'm coming.
Seriously.
(door bell ringing)
Must be joking.
(door bell ringing)
Hi Paul.
Hi.
What do you think dolphins talk about?
Same things as we talk about.
You mean sharks.
This was too big for your box.
Looks pretty important.
Maybe a new script or something.
A fan letter.
Wishful thinking.
Hong Kong?
Ian, what the hell are
you doing in Hong Kong?
Is that your boyfriend?
Ian?
No, brother.
Not that it's any of your business.
I didn't mean to offend you,
Miss. Witak, Miss. Dunbar,
Miss. Dunbar, it's just
that I'm a really big fan.
It's an honor to deliver your mail.
I'm sorry, I'm late for
meeting with my agent.
Oh, good luck, Miss. Dunbar,
I hope you get the part.
Just call Diana.
Paul.
Bye, bye, bye, bye.
(door bell ringing)
(birds chirping)
(gentle music)
(man laughing)
(gentle music)
That's great.
(both laughing)
(gentle music)
Hi, are you a friend of Diana's?
Yes, I am.
You don't belong here.
You don't belong here, this isn't right.
You need to go to the front office.
Give it to me.
No, you can't have this.
I can only give this
to Miss. Diana Dunbar,
only Miss. Diana Dunbar, not you.
(dramatic music)
You need a man in your life.
All your problems would be solved
if you just had a nice man in your life.
These are all the men I represent.
Pick one, I can arrange anything.
Wait, did you just say that
I need a man to solve my problems?
Think of it as charity then.
[Man] What was your favorite part?
That part when you did
the pirouette was beautiful.
Is that Paul?
Paul, sweetie, Paul.
(gasping)
There you go, Tony Toledo.
Too rugged, all right.
Devin Malone.
You know, I hear from Scarlett
that he is hung like a-
I don't need
another dick in my life,
that's why have you.
I need a job.
You also need some fashion sense.
That one looks tasty.
(birds chirping)
(dramatic music)
I don't need a boyfriend,
I don't have time for it.
I don't know, my brother,
Ian, has got a boyfriend.
You have a gay brother
and you didn't tell me.
I need to meet him.
His boyfriend's name is Johnny.
They've been together
for a couple of months,
but I've never met him.
Ian is ashamed or something.
(dramatic music)
Hey, he didn't even come
to our mother's funeral.
(cellphone vibrating)
He just ran off.
Pick up.
(dramatic music)
Men bring drama.
I can't handle that
while I'm trying to
build an acting career.
What career?
The one you're supposed
to be helping me with.
You know what Sara Rose
said about your audition last week?
- No, what?
- You stink.
You know, I've never
been good at cold reads.
(dramatic music)
You need to get your
shit together, Diana.
I believe in you, I really do.
But you need to believe in you
or what the hell are we doing here?
You know I can act.
[Archie] But no one else does.
Well, they think Veronica
Black is a good actress.
If that is good acting, then I am S-O-L.
All right, there you go, Blake Johnson.
All right.
(door bell ringing)
Oh my God, Paul.
Did you hear the news?
It's so sad.
What happened?
Sweet little Paul.
He was killed right there,
right outside our door.
Oh my God.
I just saw him this
morning, I talked to him.
Well, I found him myself.
He was all bloody and curled
up like a little dead baby.
Well, anyways, I made tube steak,
Bucky's coming home soon.
Good night, honey.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
[Ian] D.
Ian?
Shut out that light.
You were in Hong Kong.
They'll see me, shut out that light.
Why?
And the curtains by the window.
Why?
D.
(telephone ringing)
Don't you dare answer that phone.
Why?
It's for me.
What are you talking about?
They're after me.
[Diana] Who's after you?
Johnny, they killed Johnny.
What?
The people who killed
Johnny are after me!
Ian.
- Where's the postcard?
- Huh?
The one I sent you from
Hong Kong, where is it?
It's right here.
Let's get it.
We need to get outta here in a hurry.
No, I'm not going anywhere tonight.
Listen to me, you need to go pack
and we need to get outta here.
It's late, honey okay.
I'm exhausted, it's not
exactly been the best day.
You're upset.
Why don't we just tuck you into the couch?
D, listen this is serious.
Johnny, he confessed it all to me.
He was a spy.
He had dangerous people after him.
And now they're after me.
We need to hurry up, get that
postcard and get outta here.
Let's go.
- No, it's absurd.
Fine, if you don't believe
me, go see for yourself.
There'll be two people down the hallway,
waiting in the shadows.
(dramatic music)
Why do you always
start to screw with me?
(dramatic music)
Call the police.
D, this isn't exactly the kinda thing
we call the police about.
Let me see the postcard, where's it at?
What?
"Dear Diana, twinkle, twinkle."
- You never call me Diana.
- I didn't write this.
- What?
- Instructions,
he said something about instructions.
The day that he died.
I stole something from
someone very powerful.
[Ian] What?
I sent your sister
a postcard, go get it.
She can help you.
Find the dead drop in Hong Kong.
[Ian] What?
Postcard.
(dramatic music)
The instructions.
I love you.
No.
(dramatic music)
He just was shot.
And he was laying there
in my arms and telling me
that he has a wife.
- He was married.
That he stole something,
that he was being chased,
that he was gonna sell it
so that we could run away together.
And this is why they're after me.
They told me if I didn't
do exactly what they said,
that they would kill you too.
D, I need your help with this.
Pretend it's like an
acting challenge, please.
You're gonna owe me big.
(dramatic music)
Do you like me?
Shut it, I'm doing surveillance.
We've never done a job this big before
and I don't want to
trust my life to someone
who doesn't like me.
Likability isn't really
affecting our career.
Your stubbornness will get us caught.
We have never been caught.
Do you want gloves or mittens?
(dramatic music)
[Eva] We can't let him see us.
I do not like him.
(dramatic music)
Look, it's not like
I've got anything pressing here anyway.
Why are you doing this, what's going on?
You're not even confident on a movie set,
what makes you think you can
handle a bunch of criminals?
- Honey wait.
- D, we don't have time.
[Archie] Hello, hello.
Stop taking those out,
they're my favorite shoes.
They're hideous.
- They're not.
- Diana?
You can't even handle a press junket.
Well, I can't handle it dead either.
[Archie] Well, if your
brother's boyfriend's dead,
then he's available right?
I'll castrate you.
- You're not even.
- Look if you haven't
heard back from me in
about five days or so,
I don't know, a couple
of days just, you know,
call the FBI or something.
All right bye.
- Backpack, backpack.
- No,
I'm not packing a
backpack, I'm taking this.
No, you need to pack it in the backpack
'cause we're not taking this.
Honestly, you always do this to me.
- What, save your life?
- Always bringing trouble.
I'm just saving your life.
No, I'm saving your life.
How did Father raise you, honestly.
Yeah how did our mom raise you?
Hey, our mom is dead okay.
Surely you're a bit more sensitive.
Ready?
Let's go.
I'm gonna switch off the lights.
No, leave the lights on,
they'll think we're still here.
(dramatic music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(train engine revving)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(car horns honking)
This is unreal.
[Ian] Come on.
(people speaking indistinctly)
(car engines revving)
I dropped my yarn for one
second and you lose them.
We didn't lose them.
(car engines revving)
Red hairs, four O'clock,
pretend to be a tourist.
Look at that building, it's so big.
I don't think we're going the right way.
How would you know?
(gentle music)
Man.
Now I bet you wish
you said you liked me.
Stop planting negative seeds.
(gentle music)
May I help you?
You look lost.
We're looking for our hotel.
Where are you staying?
The Jade Planet Guest House.
This is a secret mission.
I know this hotel.
Indeed, I do.
May I escort you?
No, we can manage.
No, no, no, I insist,
I insist.
- Oh thank you.
(people speaking indistinctly)
(gentle music)
Did you know there are over 600 shrine,
temple and monasteries in Hong Kong.
Yeah, I hear praying
is a very popular hobby.
And as you can see,
you can get anything
in Hong Kong, anything.
(gentle music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(dramatic music)
Wait a minute.
I knew it.
Hand it over.
You stay away from her.
[Commissioner] Give me the postcard.
[Diana] We haven't got it.
You slipped past me in Los Angeles,
but now you are on my turf.
Give it to me.
- We don't have it.
(Alex screaming)
So my reward does not
have to be humongous.
Any reasonable amount will be cool.
Reward?
For rescuing you, your majesty.
Well, I suppose we could
buy you lunch or something.
Ian, we're going to the police station.
No, Johnny said we couldn't trust.
I don't want to die.
You, I'll pay you 100
bucks and buy you lunch
if you take to the nearest police station.
So like what are you a model?
No, I'm an actress.
Hmm, what kind?
The fully dressed kind.
That is a shame.
(car engines revving)
(gentle music)
All right, I'm gonna stop right here.
It's right around the corner.
[Ian] This is exactly
what we should not be doing.
(gentle music)
[Diana] Ian, we're
not spies, we need help.
(gentle music)
(car engines revving)
I need to speak to police officer
about an attempted robbery,
international spy murder
and cover up.
Wait here.
The Commissioner will be
out to see you in a moment.
You know he thinks you're crazy, right?
So what do you think about our new friend?
Oh, well stoners are stupid.
Did you see his fingernails?
I don't think he looks
like your typical stoner.
Yeah well, Mr. Manicure
sure chomped on that hundred dollars.
(speaks in foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(speaks in foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(car engines revving)
Come on, come on, let's
go, let's go, let's go.
- Move, move.
- Let's go.
(dramatic music)
(car engines revving)
(dramatic music)
(all gasping)
I told you.
Take me to the American Embassy.
No, we can't trust anybody.
Except me, of course.
I'll pay you a hundred dollars
to take me to American Embassy.
Sure thing.
No, we need to follow
Johnny's instructions.
We need to figure out whatever
it is that they're after.
And then we can go to the embassy.
Freeze, give us the postcard.
It's a popular piece of paper, this is.
- You have no idea.
- We haven't got it.
Eva, that girl is telling
the fib, I know she is,
she's got it.
- Duh, shut up.
- You give it
back to us okay.
- Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Because I'm gonna hit, oh.
(dramatic music)
[Ian] This way, this way, this way.
Stop, stop.
(dramatic music)
So what's your name?
Alex.
Ian.
Pleasure.
(people speaking indistinctly)
Diana.
You smell sweet, Diana.
(dramatic music)
Moving to plan B.
Which is?
Forget the postcard,
let them lead us to the pot
at the end of the rainbow.
We hang back, they will do all the work.
And then we will just grab the prize.
I just wanna kiss your mind.
(dramatic music)
Wow.
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle music)
Who are you?
I mean, are you just
traveling Asia for fun?
Yep.
Thought it would piss my dad off
if I left the country after graduating,
instead of joining the family business.
What's so bad about the family business?
Trachtenberg Industries.
(Diana laughing)
Right.
Right.
(gentle music)
You're a Trachtenberg.
Only by name.
I'm not a, stuck in the
lab all day, kinda guy.
Doesn't fit.
I'm a nomad.
See the world.
What about you?
You got a boyfriend?
What would make you say that?
[Alex] Just figured you to be
into perfume rather than cologne.
Hey, touchy subject.
No, it's not.
I mean, I used to.
No worries, no worries.
It's cool, hey,
I like you two.
Come on.
I got an idea.
(birds chirping)
(gentle upbeat music)
Hey, this is a cool spot.
We can hang out here for a while.
How can we trust you?
Because if I was one of the bad guys,
I would've let them get you by now.
Besides you owe me $200 and lunch.
(gentle upbeat music)
Lee.
- Alex.
- Hi.
My friend.
How are you?
- Very good, Sir, thank you.
Look, these are good people,
but I'm in bit of a bind right now.
Do you mind if we hang
out here for a while?
So Johnny said the postcard
would lead us to a dead drop.
A dead drop, Wikipedia says,
"Is used by spies to hide something
"that can be picked up later.
"Could be a loose brick
in a wall, a library book,
"a hole in a tree.
"It's always something common
"in from which the items can be picked up
"without the operatives being
seen by a member of the public"
"or the security forces
who may be watching."
It's very James Bond.
My ex was a spy.
[Alex] Hot.
Confusing.
Let's figure out the where.
I wonder why that cop's after this.
[Ian] Yeah, I have no idea.
What about the other two?
They've been following me since Johnny.
"Dear Diana, twinkle, twinkle little star.
"We've been having such fun.
"Went to a Giant Buddha, ate an egg
"that was a thousand-years-old.
"Just say Periwinkle, you'll love it.
"PS: The sign is a hug."
"XO 2 Ian."
Let me see it.
What does it mean?
It's a riddle.
"Went to the Giant Buddha."
Yeah, that's Lantau Island.
It's a real place?
(dramatic music)
What are they, telepathic?
Damn, this is our caper.
Calm down, calm down, we wait.
(speaks in foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(speaks in foreign language)
(guns firing)
(speaks in foreign language)
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(gentle music)
Let's go to the hotel.
We can't stay at the Jade Planet.
Why not?
You told the cop where we were staying
right before he pulled the knife out.
That wasn't very bright.
We need somewhere safe.
[Diana] What did you have in mind?
I know a place right around the corner.
(gentle music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(car engine revving)
(gentle music)
We're newly weds.
No, we're not.
Actually we're a runaway couple.
Yeah, I try to run away
and he just holds on.
This is our best man, right?
This is my brother, and.
I'm their best brother.
Yeah, this is my brother and actually.
No I, are you serious?
Hey.
Look, nobody can know we're here.
It's okay, we are very high
class and discreet hotel.
So it's no problem.
(gentle music)
Welcome to Hong Kong.
Please let me know if we
can be any service to you.
Okay.
Let's get a room.
I wanna start working on my afghan.
No, we stay and watch.
We need to be ready.
Eva, why must you undermine
my creative expression?
I am focusing.
We have a treasure to take.
Try standing still creatively.
I am.
God.
(cellphone ringing)
Oh, oh.
What, is it Mother?
Buyer.
But we don't have it yet.
Shh.
(dramatic music)
A mix up, but we are close.
We'll check in tomorrow.
That was good.
It's okay.
(Alex laughing)
Do you want some?
No thanks.
Do you trust me?
Do you trust me?
Do you trust me?
I'm gonna go shower next.
Okay, screw it.
(coughing)
(gentle music)
You know, I never think
of sending a postcard
when I travel.
And now you're wondering how the hell
you got into this mess.
(gentle music)
Yeah, you just gotta
wonder what so many people
want so badly.
(gentle music)
Anyway, it's kinda cool, all
this chasing around and shit.
Boys are so weird.
You know, you're just
thinking about having fun,
you know, and that's selfish.
Oh, oh yeah, well how selfish was I
when I saved your life in that alley?
Why'd you bring it up like that?
You know, a real man doesn't.
(gentle music)
(both laughing)
I do have to confess
something to you though.
I actually knew who you were
when I saw you in that alley.
I got it on the street.
No wonder I'm not getting any royalties.
You're really good in it though.
You should do more movies.
Yeah, I should.
(gentle music)
But it's a butt hole business,
full of mercenaries who
wants puppets, not actors.
My career's over and nobody notices me.
I did.
(gentle music)
I do.
Yeah, but you're not anybody.
Well, you could feel sorry for yourself
or you could do something about it.
You know, shoot your own movies.
Just say no to the puppeteers.
Heck you don't need 'em.
You don't need anybody to do it for you.
Are you always this motivated?
Yes.
(gentle music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(dramatic music)
(speaks in foreign language)
You're the police, you
could do what you want.
Do you remember what I
did to the American spy?
Well, if you fail me,
I'm going to take matters
into my own hands.
In fact, if you fail me, I'm
going to cut off your hands.
Now go.
But remember, next time
I'm going to take a finger.
(dramatic music)
[Ian] Yo, my sister already
had her tonsils removed.
My brother needs his voice box removed.
All right here, we cab
down to the waterfront,
that should be about 30 minutes.
And then we climb up to the Golden Man.
Cool.
All we need to do is get D
to rehearse her wifey routine
and we'll be ready to go.
No, no way, I'll never
be able to pull it off.
I suck a cold reads, you know that.
You know, I can't believe it, I knew it.
This is exactly why I
didn't answer the call
every time you called.
You know, you always bring trouble.
Shut up.
It's your nerves that are the trouble.
I didn't get us into this.
I didn't have a choice.
Oh it was your boyfriend.
Oh, that is not fair.
But it's true.
You're so selfish.
I am not.
You didn't even come to Mom's funeral.
[Ian] Are you still hung up on that?
You should have been there,
but instead you were
off sulking or whatever.
I was falling in love.
You ever hear of that?
Oh no, you were hiding
because you're mean and
you're ashamed of yourself.
I'm ashamed of our mom.
She thought I was broken.
She did not.
She thought you were great.
She went on and on about you all the time.
Believe me, it was annoying.
You just don't like yourself.
I guess that would make us twins.
We're not talking about me.
Oh we are now, Miss. Has been actress.
Has been?
My movie just opened, ass face.
Oh is that the title?
"Lost Lovers at Hell Lake."
Has been.
Closet case.
I can't be a closet case.
You just said.
Yeah, see, inside closet case.
At least one of us can act.
Get out of here.
Get out.
Get out.
Oh.
You know, Mom threw me out.
[Alex] Hey, we should
stay together, man.
This was such a bad idea.
(gentle music)
Hey, hey, hey, I
think you've had enough.
Stay away.
(gentle music)
Bingo.
(gentle upbeat music)
You go and get him.
Nuh uh, you do it.
No, I'm not the clientele.
You go.
No, I will be violated.
No trust me, you won't.
Go, go.
Okay dear heart.
(upbeat music)
I think you better come
with me, twinkle toes.
How about menage a trois, move it.
(upbeat music)
What?
Nothing.
(both laughing)
Laughing right now doesn't
really boost my confidence.
I'll give you a boost.
Do you know who we are?
A face with two backs, get it?
I do.
A four legged hole puncher.
(both laughing)
Get some stank on the halo.
(both laughing)
That's just.
You know, you still owe me $200, right?
Yeah right.
Really?
- No, it was good now.
- Oh hold on.
Hello.
[Eva] Have you seen your brother lately?
I have.
Why do you have my brother?
[Eva] Insurance.
You just keep doing what you are doing.
Find us that treasure.
Treasure?
[Eva] My partner will
keep his gun on Ian,
but I'll be joining you tomorrow
for our little field trip.
I'll be at your hotel
first thing in the morning.
(dramatic music)
Oh no.
Oh no.
It's all my fault.
Dammit, I should've never
have let him go out.
I should have never chased
him out of this room.
I was so horrible.
[Alex] We'll figure
it out, what's wrong?
They have my brother.
Okay.
I swear to God, if they hurt him,
I will break off their faces.
(dramatic music)
Where are we going?
(dramatic music)
Oh my God.
Oh my God, oh my God,
where's the postcard?
Oh my God, I can't find it.
I grabbed it.
(dramatic music)
It's okay.
Where are we going?
[Alex] Lantau Island.
(dramatic music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle music)
Are you sure this is the place?
By sure, do you mean certain?
[Eva] You're looking for what?
[Alex] Thousand year old egg.
[Diana] Ah, I don't see that.
Or anything Periwinkle, it's impossible.
You must have gotten it wrong.
Where's the postcard?
"Dear Diana twinkle,
twinkle little star.
"We've been having such fun.
"Went to the Giant Buddha, ate an egg
"that was a thousand-years-old."
"Just say Periwinkle."
(gentle music)
"Went to the Giant Buddha, ate an egg
"that was a thousand-years-old.
"Just say Periwinkle, you will love it.
"PS: The sign is a hug."
"XO 2 Ian."
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle music)
Sign.
The sign in his signature.
(dramatic music)
Aha, it is a map.
(dramatic music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(birds chirping)
(gentle music)
My nanny, I called her Nunu,
she taught me how to knit and crochet.
To tell you the truth, this is my passion.
Oh yeah.
It's really pretty gorgeous.
Really?
You think so?
Man, I know I hold the gun, but honestly?
Oh truth.
Originality's good.
You're actually pretty talented.
Well, thank you Ian.
That is just the nicest thing.
You know Eva, she doesn't
understand my art.
She's completely dismissive.
That I can understand.
Nobody takes you seriously.
Not being understood.
It makes you feel uncertain.
Sure does.
You know, it was my mom who
taught me my passion, cooking.
It's really how I hooked Johnny.
One morning, the first morning,
I made him a Frittata, some eggs, bacon.
It was delicious.
He couldn't leave after that.
That is so sweet.
It's all about connection.
You know, I like you Ian.
So does that mean you'll untie me?
No.
But would you like a bun?
I got the best buns in all of Hong Kong.
No.
Suit yourself.
All for me.
(people speaking indistinctly)
(birds chirping)
(people speaking indistinctly)
What's the problem?
I don't know, you tell me,
do you see a thousand-year-old
egg anywhere?
(waves crashing)
(birds chirping)
Excuse me, Mr. Chicken.
Eggshell is so fragile.
But still contains life.
You've got a thousand-year-old egg?
Answer the riddle and I'll lay an egg.
"The harder one is like the sun."
"He found a key to open me."
Easy, hearts, open.
It's in his chest.
Get it, chest.
(dramatic music)
I'm good at puzzles.
Yeah, but what's that ticking?
(dramatic music)
(egg ticking)
(dramatic music)
[Diana] Throw it.
Chicken man gonna get it.
(birds chirping)
"The harder one is like the sun.
"You found the key to open me."
Okay, gotta think.
One, sun.
(waves crashing)
Star, it's a star.
(dramatic music)
(egg ticking)
(both screaming)
"The harder one is like the sun.
"He found a key to open me."
(dramatic music)
"He found a key to open me."
Ian.
[Alex] What about Ian?
Those are Johnny's clues right?
"He found a key to open me."
Love.
The answer's Ian.
You've earned your reward.
You may take your prize
from between my thighs.
Huh?
(waves crashing)
(dramatic music)
(birds chirping)
Shall I open it?
Of course you should.
Yeah, but what if it's a bomb?
If it is you're a great kisser.
Is that all?
(dramatic music)
Keys?
What does it mean?
It means it opens something, duh?
This is unacceptable.
We have a problem.
Dag nabit, I knew it.
I told you we shouldn't be doing this.
Didn't listen, did you?
Put him on?
Hold on, hold on, I'll put him on.
Okay.
It's for you.
Hello.
We didn't get the
prize we were hoping for.
You have some explaining to do.
What is it?
[Eva] Keys.
[Diana] Let me speak to him.
Ian.
- D.
- Are you okay?
[Ian] D, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I'm so sorry.
I never meant to.
No, I'm so sorry, I'm totally sorry.
I'm such an idiot.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's me.
I know, I'm sorry, I'm the idiot.
[Ian] It's all my fault.
Hey stay on topic, stay on topic.
Okay Ian, we've got what
appears to be some keys.
Well, describe it.
It's got a couple of keys on it.
And then it's got a
little small pocket knife
that says Zin Tau on it.
[Ian] D, Zin Tau, that's Johnny's bank.
Oh, that's what he meant.
You're gonna, you're gonna
have to act like his wife
to get it, to open it up.
I can't do it.
[Ian] D you can do this.
You're my favorite actress.
(waves crashing)
I have faith in you, D.
Okay.
It'll be award-winning.
(waves crashing)
D, D.
She's gone.
(gentle upbeat music)
(machine beeping)
Wait, we can't go through
or we'll set off the machine.
We stay here.
You're on your own.
I won't set it off.
(birds chirping)
You'll be great.
If you mess up, your brother dies.
And we'll kill your lover just for fun.
(birds chirping)
Come over here, please.
I need to check your bags.
(birds chirping)
This is probably it.
(birds chirping)
Okay.
And, yes?
Yes, I'd like to retrieve my items.
- Your items?
- Yeah.
My husband died recently
and I haven't had the time
to take care of the proper.
Here's my keys.
I know I haven't been here for a while.
[Security] Wait, I know you.
I'm sorry?
You're that actress,
from "Light Of The Moon."
I can't believe it.
I saw the movie twice, I loved it.
Oh yeah.
Thank you.
- My friend also loves it.
- Thank you.
- Oh, and you're
a lot taller than I thought,
let me show you to your room
and get this over.
Thank you.
You're doing more acting?
Yeah.
And you're dancing, lot's of great
and it's different levels.
My friend downloaded the
movie from the internet.
Made a copy for me too.
And my other friends also
love you in that movie.
Right, right.
Oh my God, I just forgot.
What is your password?
Please don't tell anybody.
Oh.
I'm supposed to ask you over there.
Oh my God, don't worry
your secret is safe with me.
[Security] And your password?
Oh, right.
(laughing)
Periwinkle.
Okay.
I still can't believe it.
I'll leave this to you.
- Okay, thank you.
- See you later.
Yeah, I'll just be a minute.
And you're so friendly
and even more pretty than in the movie.
You're so pretty.
(dramatic music)
Nice one, Johnny.
Thanks.
(dramatic music)
Stop.
I've been away from you a long time
I never thought I'd miss you so
Somehow I feel
Your love was real Swanee
You're calling me
Swanee, how I love you, how I love you
My dear old Swanee
I'd give the world to be
Among the folks indeed
Even my mommy's waiting
for me, praying for me
Down by the Swanee
The folks up North will see me no more
When I go to the Swanee shore
Swanee, Swanee, I am
coming back to Swanee
Mommy, mommy
I love the old folks at home
Swanee, how I love you, how I love you
My dear old Swanee
I'd give the world
to be among the folks
In D-I-X-I-Even know my mommy's
Waiting for me, praying
for me down by the Swanee
The folks up North will see me no more
When I go to the Swanee shore
(all applauding)
Can I have your autograph please?
Oh, oh my God.
Yeah, thanks.
Thanks, bye.
(birds chirping)
Look, she even gave me her signature.
Yes, yeah.
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
You were incredible.
I've never felt this free before.
I like that song.
My God, that felt great.
I'm as high as a kite.
I know the feeling.
(car engines revving)
Wow, I did it.
You sure did.
(gentle music)
Okay enough happy time.
Was it there?
Yes.
Did you get it?
Yes.
Show it me.
(birds chirping)
Hand it over.
No.
Not until I have my brother back.
You're turning me on right now.
[Diana] Later, baby.
Gross.
Listen, we have the prize.
Bring the little sissy boy.
Yes, the rendezvous we
talked about, dummy.
(dramatic music)
(speaks in foreign language)
(laughing)
(gentle music)
After you win your first big award,
are you still gonna remember me?
I was kinda hoping that maybe
you'd be there with me when I get it.
(gentle music)
I'm a nomad.
Well, I'm a nomad girl.
Cut the bullshit.
(gentle music)
Move.
(dramatic music)
Stay here.
Stop there.
Dipshit, it's me.
(dramatic music)
- D.
- Ian.
Okay we have shown you ours.
Now you have to show us yours.
(dramatic music)
[Both] It's so big.
Have the stoner bring it there.
(dramatic music)
I'm so sorry I said those things to you.
I'm sorry too.
[Commissioner] Wait.
[Eva] Commissioner.
You two, I thought you
pinheads quit years ago.
I'm no quitter.
If he kills me, I'll
never talk to you again.
Arrest them for murder.
We don't do murder.
Zip.
I don't care what you do.
I'm the law.
You did what I say you did.
(speaks in foreign language)
(dramatic music)
Where's the diamond?
Who has it?
Give it to me now.
What are you?
Give me the diamond now.
You can't have it, it's mine.
Don't mess with me, boy.
Give it to me, I want it.
Now.
(dramatic music)
Good.
It's heavier than I remembered.
Well done, Commissioner.
Now kill them all.
That diamond belongs to my family.
[Madame Iris] Impossible.
I have definitive proof that
the diamond you're holding
is the long lost Trachtenberg Star.
(dramatic music)
Not anymore.
(laughing)
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
Behind me.
Holy shit, what happened
to you while I was gone?
Oh, just a little song and dance.
Get the diamond, get the diamond.
You have two hands, right?
No, I'm just trying
to finish your scarf.
Oh no, but Mohair makes me itch.
(dramatic music)
[Diana] Let him go.
I'll blow his brains out.
(dramatic music)
I thought I told you
to take care of things.
(dramatic music)
Put that gun down before
I make you put it down.
But I'm the one holding it.
(dramatic music)
He's cute.
I think I'll keep him from my pet.
I don't think we're gonna be able
to sing our way out of this one.
Take me, let him go and take me.
Are you insane?
It's okay, I'll take both.
No.
(dramatic music)
The most perfect diamond ever recorded.
Isn't she gorgeous?
Commissioner, the cops are here.
I can't be seen here.
Give me the star.
(dramatic music)
Madame Iris, number one.
(laughing)
We're leaving and you can
keep the big bloody diamond
and you know, shove it up your ass.
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
I've got you.
Ha.
Don't you people ever give up?
Give me the diamond.
No, I'll get it Eva.
And you know, don't worry,
I won't drop it like somebody else did.
You can't have it?
What?
It's ours.
Van, take it from her.
Go, go, go.
Van, this isn't you.
You're right y'all, I'm not a thief.
I'm an artist.
Get the diamond you wuss.
Drop the gun.
(dramatic music)
Diana, gimme the star.
Trachtenberg Star?
Why didn't you tell me?
My family's been looking for
that diamond for generations,
I couldn't risk telling anybody.
You're just like them.
D, please.
No, only my family calls me that.
(gentle music)
So you are the one who killed Johnny?
No, no, no, absolutely not.
He worked for my family.
He just wanted the reward money.
The goal was to retrieve the
postcard and recover the stone.
Running into you two in that
alley was a lucky break.
I didn't expect things
to work out so perfectly.
(gentle music)
I didn't count and falling in love.
[Diana] Alex.
I love you, Diana.
(gentle music)
(Diana crying)
(gentle music)
Freeze, freeze.
Get the weapon.
(gentle music)
Let's go, come on.
(gentle music)
My God, Diana, you wrote this?
[Diana] I lived it.
I can't believe you wrote this.
It's incredible.
You'll play the lead of course.
And then we'll get Sara
Rose to produce it.
I'll get her on the phone ASAP.
This it's gonna be your comeback.
How on earth did you think of this?
Just hit me that maybe I should
take matters into my own hands.
Just buy a camera and shoot it.
I don't have to wait to be discovered.
I know who I am.
(gentle upbeat music)
Somebody a little bit cute.
Maybe Madame Iris keep you for pet.
[Brianna] Not so fast Madame Iris.
Oh, scare somebody.
You can choke on that
Emerald all you like,
I don't want it.
I'm surrounded by love
and that's worth more
than any Emerald anywhere.
You know, I feel sorry for you,
all this evil and bloodshed for a rock.
Oh somebody hurt.
As happy as I am now,
I still feel pity for your empty soul.
Madame Iris, number one.
(guns firing)
(police sirens blaring)
The police are here, the real police.
They're here to save us.
(gentle music)
Don't.
What if they take me in?
They won't.
You saved our lives
and helped rescue the King's Emerald.
You'll be a hero.
Oh, I love you, Rex.
[Rex] I love you.
[Brianna] Please stay with me forever.
I'll always be right here, Brianna.
Always.
Forever?
You bet ya.
(both laughing)
(gentle music)
(audience cheering)
(Diana laughing)
(audience cheering)
You're amazing.
Oh, thank you so much.
You mind if I have a photo?
No, no, of course not.
Thanks.
Could you just gimme a quick sign here?
Definitely, what's your name?
Casey.
Right well.
Unbelievable.
Thank you so much.
- Thank you Steven,
I'm really happy you enjoyed it.
You're such an artist.
Thank you.
Thanks Jason, I'm really
happy you enjoyed it.
Darling, you're just
looking rather nice tonight.
Oh, hi baby, you've been working a lot?
(gentle music)
Idiots.
I was in this movie too, you know.
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you
for putting out this movie.
Like, it's changed me.
Oh my God,
thank you very much.
- You are amazing.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, Diana, you are so brave.
Oh, Sheila.
Go to hell.
Well.
Get out of my way.
Out of my way, out.
Never.
(gentle upbeat music)
You were so fantastic.
Thank you.
I really appreciate that.
Come on, let's go, talk at the party.
Oh, I'm not going to the party.
Why don't you come with us?
Really?
Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
(gentle upbeat music)
D, D, D, this is Sven, my accountant.
[Diana] Hi.
You were top of line.
So wonderful.
Awards buzz already.
Oh, whatever.
So listen, I'll see you Sunday brunch?
- Yeah.
- Brunch Sunday.
[Ian] I'll be there.
What is blunch?
- Brunch.
- It's a breakfast.
Nevermind, I'll explain.
Bring your CPA.
My C, oh yeah my CPA, yeah.
Great, great film.
I love you.
So nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
Do you mind you guys, if
I meet you at the party?
(gentle upbeat music)
You were great.
Oh, I wasn't sure if I should come.
Look, I should have told you.
Look, I should have
trusted you completely.
The truth is I never wanted it to end.
(gentle music)
I get it.
Ow.
You tricked us into helping you
then made me fall in love with you.
And then as soon as you
got your precious star,
you run off, left us.
You jerk.
You're the only star I want.
Gag.
I saw your movie,
the way it ends, is that what you want?
Rex and Brianna?
Look, I wanna wake up
with you every morning.
Drink whiskey and get high with you
every night until the sun rises.
I want you to perform "Swanee"
every night to my family,
'cause you're stunning and they
would fall in love with you.
(gentle music)
You give me a place where I fit.
I miss you.
(gentle music)
Okay.
But if you so much hint
at being a lying, cheat,
backstabbing son of a bitch,
I'll tie you to a chair and
introduce you to my agent.
[Alex] Deal.
(gentle music)
(gasping)
(dramatic music)
(woman crying)
(dramatic music)
(gasping)
(dramatic music)
(gasping)
(dramatic music)
(woman screaming)
I'm sorry my mother, Miriam,
slept with your brother Barry.
And I'm sorry your sister Stacy
killed herself because of it.
No.
Please don't kill me like you
killed your cousin, Kathleen.
(woman gasping)
[Laura] Jackie.
Laura.
You'll never get away with this.
Everybody knows that you killed Jessie.
[Jack] But I love you, Laura.
Oh, I love you too.
I love you too, Jackie,
I've always loved you.
I bet you didn't know that he
used to stand by the window
as you walked home from school,
gazing out at you and trace
the outline of your body.
I always knew someday you'd be mine.
I always loved you.
I loved you forever.
(gentle music)
So long, lover.
(Jack screaming)
(dramatic music)
Oh.
(dramatic music)
(woman crying)
(Laura crying)
(dramatic music)
(audience applauding)
[Man] Samantha, Samantha hi.
You look gorgeous, you're so good.
You look great.
You smell good.
(people speaking indistinctly)
Aren't you sweet.
(audience cheering)
What was your name again?
It's Diana Dunbar.
Could you sign this for me?
Sure, what's your name?
My name's Adam.
Adam.
He didn't even know my name.
Yes, but he recognized you.
You were only in the film for you know.
He didn't know my name, Archie.
You died off so quickly.
I mean, the fact that he recognized you
is pretty good.
- Thanks.
Yeah, all right.
(audience applauding)
So I was good, right?
What did you think, I was harrowing?
You're on the film
for 10 minutes, Diana.
Judi Dench won an Oscar
for just eight minutes.
Well, the only Oscar you're
gonna win is Oscar Mayer.
Sheila, Sheila, it's lovely to see you.
Archie Talbite.
This is Diana Dunbar.
Hi.
Oh, Diana.
Very brave.
(people speaking indistinctly)
You know what?
You need to stop doing
these terrible films,
if you wanna be taken
seriously as an actress.
You got me this job.
I know that, you know, when
your father died in 1978,
in that automobile accident,
it just totally informed
all of your acting.
What did you tap into
to just bring such a
strength to this part,
like it was unbelievable?
Well, my strength says that
it was my childhood memories.
Look at her eat that up.
(audience applauding)
[Man] Yes?
What was it like making this movie?
It was hell.
(all laughing)
Stop it.
Miss. Dunbar, hi.
Can you give us a quote
for More & Beat Magazine?
Sure, okay.
Okay, so you haven't had a starring role
since your last film.
What was it, moonlight something?
"By The Light Of The Moon."
This is like a real departure
from your other films.
Have you given up mainstream
movies to do horror?
Did I?
What do you do you mean?
We've got some surprises in store,
slated for release next summer.
Diana Dunbar will be a household name.
So listen, it must have been amazing
working along someone like Veronica Black.
What was it like?
She's.
She's not as good as you.
Thanks.
That's why the homeless aren't critics.
I'm not homeless.
You sure?
(gentle upbeat music)
Thank you all for coming.
(audience applauding)
Oh shit, come on.
Miss. Black, Miss. Black, please.
Excuse me.
(people speaking indistinctly)
Veronica Black sucks shit, no question.
But she's got the fans
and fans equal money.
Money equals jobs.
"By The Light Of The Moon" was a hit.
I still have fans
emailing me all the time.
[Archie] Prisoners are not a fan base.
How many times do I have to tell you that?
It's a start.
(people speaking indistinctly)
(insects chirping)
(gentle music)
I miss you, Mom.
Damn it Ian, this is totally
not what I need right now.
Barbara, I love you.
Barbara you must go, now.
Go Barbara.
Damn it, Bob.
I don't want go, I love you.
[Bob] I love you too Barbara,
that's why you must go.
Now get on that plane.
(gentle music)
(Barbara crying)
(gentle music)
Barbara wait.
Nothing.
Sorry.
Wait, Barbara.
What?
Forget it.
(laughing)
Wait Barbara.
[Barbara] What?
(laughing)
(gentle music)
(insects chirping)
(telephone ringing)
Hello.
(dramatic music)
Great, you can breathe.
Your mother must be so proud.
(dramatic music)
(door bell ringing)
Geez.
Oh my God.
(door bell ringing)
I'm coming.
Seriously.
(door bell ringing)
Must be joking.
(door bell ringing)
Hi Paul.
Hi.
What do you think dolphins talk about?
Same things as we talk about.
You mean sharks.
This was too big for your box.
Looks pretty important.
Maybe a new script or something.
A fan letter.
Wishful thinking.
Hong Kong?
Ian, what the hell are
you doing in Hong Kong?
Is that your boyfriend?
Ian?
No, brother.
Not that it's any of your business.
I didn't mean to offend you,
Miss. Witak, Miss. Dunbar,
Miss. Dunbar, it's just
that I'm a really big fan.
It's an honor to deliver your mail.
I'm sorry, I'm late for
meeting with my agent.
Oh, good luck, Miss. Dunbar,
I hope you get the part.
Just call Diana.
Paul.
Bye, bye, bye, bye.
(door bell ringing)
(birds chirping)
(gentle music)
(man laughing)
(gentle music)
That's great.
(both laughing)
(gentle music)
Hi, are you a friend of Diana's?
Yes, I am.
You don't belong here.
You don't belong here, this isn't right.
You need to go to the front office.
Give it to me.
No, you can't have this.
I can only give this
to Miss. Diana Dunbar,
only Miss. Diana Dunbar, not you.
(dramatic music)
You need a man in your life.
All your problems would be solved
if you just had a nice man in your life.
These are all the men I represent.
Pick one, I can arrange anything.
Wait, did you just say that
I need a man to solve my problems?
Think of it as charity then.
[Man] What was your favorite part?
That part when you did
the pirouette was beautiful.
Is that Paul?
Paul, sweetie, Paul.
(gasping)
There you go, Tony Toledo.
Too rugged, all right.
Devin Malone.
You know, I hear from Scarlett
that he is hung like a-
I don't need
another dick in my life,
that's why have you.
I need a job.
You also need some fashion sense.
That one looks tasty.
(birds chirping)
(dramatic music)
I don't need a boyfriend,
I don't have time for it.
I don't know, my brother,
Ian, has got a boyfriend.
You have a gay brother
and you didn't tell me.
I need to meet him.
His boyfriend's name is Johnny.
They've been together
for a couple of months,
but I've never met him.
Ian is ashamed or something.
(dramatic music)
Hey, he didn't even come
to our mother's funeral.
(cellphone vibrating)
He just ran off.
Pick up.
(dramatic music)
Men bring drama.
I can't handle that
while I'm trying to
build an acting career.
What career?
The one you're supposed
to be helping me with.
You know what Sara Rose
said about your audition last week?
- No, what?
- You stink.
You know, I've never
been good at cold reads.
(dramatic music)
You need to get your
shit together, Diana.
I believe in you, I really do.
But you need to believe in you
or what the hell are we doing here?
You know I can act.
[Archie] But no one else does.
Well, they think Veronica
Black is a good actress.
If that is good acting, then I am S-O-L.
All right, there you go, Blake Johnson.
All right.
(door bell ringing)
Oh my God, Paul.
Did you hear the news?
It's so sad.
What happened?
Sweet little Paul.
He was killed right there,
right outside our door.
Oh my God.
I just saw him this
morning, I talked to him.
Well, I found him myself.
He was all bloody and curled
up like a little dead baby.
Well, anyways, I made tube steak,
Bucky's coming home soon.
Good night, honey.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
[Ian] D.
Ian?
Shut out that light.
You were in Hong Kong.
They'll see me, shut out that light.
Why?
And the curtains by the window.
Why?
D.
(telephone ringing)
Don't you dare answer that phone.
Why?
It's for me.
What are you talking about?
They're after me.
[Diana] Who's after you?
Johnny, they killed Johnny.
What?
The people who killed
Johnny are after me!
Ian.
- Where's the postcard?
- Huh?
The one I sent you from
Hong Kong, where is it?
It's right here.
Let's get it.
We need to get outta here in a hurry.
No, I'm not going anywhere tonight.
Listen to me, you need to go pack
and we need to get outta here.
It's late, honey okay.
I'm exhausted, it's not
exactly been the best day.
You're upset.
Why don't we just tuck you into the couch?
D, listen this is serious.
Johnny, he confessed it all to me.
He was a spy.
He had dangerous people after him.
And now they're after me.
We need to hurry up, get that
postcard and get outta here.
Let's go.
- No, it's absurd.
Fine, if you don't believe
me, go see for yourself.
There'll be two people down the hallway,
waiting in the shadows.
(dramatic music)
Why do you always
start to screw with me?
(dramatic music)
Call the police.
D, this isn't exactly the kinda thing
we call the police about.
Let me see the postcard, where's it at?
What?
"Dear Diana, twinkle, twinkle."
- You never call me Diana.
- I didn't write this.
- What?
- Instructions,
he said something about instructions.
The day that he died.
I stole something from
someone very powerful.
[Ian] What?
I sent your sister
a postcard, go get it.
She can help you.
Find the dead drop in Hong Kong.
[Ian] What?
Postcard.
(dramatic music)
The instructions.
I love you.
No.
(dramatic music)
He just was shot.
And he was laying there
in my arms and telling me
that he has a wife.
- He was married.
That he stole something,
that he was being chased,
that he was gonna sell it
so that we could run away together.
And this is why they're after me.
They told me if I didn't
do exactly what they said,
that they would kill you too.
D, I need your help with this.
Pretend it's like an
acting challenge, please.
You're gonna owe me big.
(dramatic music)
Do you like me?
Shut it, I'm doing surveillance.
We've never done a job this big before
and I don't want to
trust my life to someone
who doesn't like me.
Likability isn't really
affecting our career.
Your stubbornness will get us caught.
We have never been caught.
Do you want gloves or mittens?
(dramatic music)
[Eva] We can't let him see us.
I do not like him.
(dramatic music)
Look, it's not like
I've got anything pressing here anyway.
Why are you doing this, what's going on?
You're not even confident on a movie set,
what makes you think you can
handle a bunch of criminals?
- Honey wait.
- D, we don't have time.
[Archie] Hello, hello.
Stop taking those out,
they're my favorite shoes.
They're hideous.
- They're not.
- Diana?
You can't even handle a press junket.
Well, I can't handle it dead either.
[Archie] Well, if your
brother's boyfriend's dead,
then he's available right?
I'll castrate you.
- You're not even.
- Look if you haven't
heard back from me in
about five days or so,
I don't know, a couple
of days just, you know,
call the FBI or something.
All right bye.
- Backpack, backpack.
- No,
I'm not packing a
backpack, I'm taking this.
No, you need to pack it in the backpack
'cause we're not taking this.
Honestly, you always do this to me.
- What, save your life?
- Always bringing trouble.
I'm just saving your life.
No, I'm saving your life.
How did Father raise you, honestly.
Yeah how did our mom raise you?
Hey, our mom is dead okay.
Surely you're a bit more sensitive.
Ready?
Let's go.
I'm gonna switch off the lights.
No, leave the lights on,
they'll think we're still here.
(dramatic music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(train engine revving)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(car horns honking)
This is unreal.
[Ian] Come on.
(people speaking indistinctly)
(car engines revving)
I dropped my yarn for one
second and you lose them.
We didn't lose them.
(car engines revving)
Red hairs, four O'clock,
pretend to be a tourist.
Look at that building, it's so big.
I don't think we're going the right way.
How would you know?
(gentle music)
Man.
Now I bet you wish
you said you liked me.
Stop planting negative seeds.
(gentle music)
May I help you?
You look lost.
We're looking for our hotel.
Where are you staying?
The Jade Planet Guest House.
This is a secret mission.
I know this hotel.
Indeed, I do.
May I escort you?
No, we can manage.
No, no, no, I insist,
I insist.
- Oh thank you.
(people speaking indistinctly)
(gentle music)
Did you know there are over 600 shrine,
temple and monasteries in Hong Kong.
Yeah, I hear praying
is a very popular hobby.
And as you can see,
you can get anything
in Hong Kong, anything.
(gentle music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(dramatic music)
Wait a minute.
I knew it.
Hand it over.
You stay away from her.
[Commissioner] Give me the postcard.
[Diana] We haven't got it.
You slipped past me in Los Angeles,
but now you are on my turf.
Give it to me.
- We don't have it.
(Alex screaming)
So my reward does not
have to be humongous.
Any reasonable amount will be cool.
Reward?
For rescuing you, your majesty.
Well, I suppose we could
buy you lunch or something.
Ian, we're going to the police station.
No, Johnny said we couldn't trust.
I don't want to die.
You, I'll pay you 100
bucks and buy you lunch
if you take to the nearest police station.
So like what are you a model?
No, I'm an actress.
Hmm, what kind?
The fully dressed kind.
That is a shame.
(car engines revving)
(gentle music)
All right, I'm gonna stop right here.
It's right around the corner.
[Ian] This is exactly
what we should not be doing.
(gentle music)
[Diana] Ian, we're
not spies, we need help.
(gentle music)
(car engines revving)
I need to speak to police officer
about an attempted robbery,
international spy murder
and cover up.
Wait here.
The Commissioner will be
out to see you in a moment.
You know he thinks you're crazy, right?
So what do you think about our new friend?
Oh, well stoners are stupid.
Did you see his fingernails?
I don't think he looks
like your typical stoner.
Yeah well, Mr. Manicure
sure chomped on that hundred dollars.
(speaks in foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(speaks in foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(car engines revving)
Come on, come on, let's
go, let's go, let's go.
- Move, move.
- Let's go.
(dramatic music)
(car engines revving)
(dramatic music)
(all gasping)
I told you.
Take me to the American Embassy.
No, we can't trust anybody.
Except me, of course.
I'll pay you a hundred dollars
to take me to American Embassy.
Sure thing.
No, we need to follow
Johnny's instructions.
We need to figure out whatever
it is that they're after.
And then we can go to the embassy.
Freeze, give us the postcard.
It's a popular piece of paper, this is.
- You have no idea.
- We haven't got it.
Eva, that girl is telling
the fib, I know she is,
she's got it.
- Duh, shut up.
- You give it
back to us okay.
- Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Because I'm gonna hit, oh.
(dramatic music)
[Ian] This way, this way, this way.
Stop, stop.
(dramatic music)
So what's your name?
Alex.
Ian.
Pleasure.
(people speaking indistinctly)
Diana.
You smell sweet, Diana.
(dramatic music)
Moving to plan B.
Which is?
Forget the postcard,
let them lead us to the pot
at the end of the rainbow.
We hang back, they will do all the work.
And then we will just grab the prize.
I just wanna kiss your mind.
(dramatic music)
Wow.
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle music)
Who are you?
I mean, are you just
traveling Asia for fun?
Yep.
Thought it would piss my dad off
if I left the country after graduating,
instead of joining the family business.
What's so bad about the family business?
Trachtenberg Industries.
(Diana laughing)
Right.
Right.
(gentle music)
You're a Trachtenberg.
Only by name.
I'm not a, stuck in the
lab all day, kinda guy.
Doesn't fit.
I'm a nomad.
See the world.
What about you?
You got a boyfriend?
What would make you say that?
[Alex] Just figured you to be
into perfume rather than cologne.
Hey, touchy subject.
No, it's not.
I mean, I used to.
No worries, no worries.
It's cool, hey,
I like you two.
Come on.
I got an idea.
(birds chirping)
(gentle upbeat music)
Hey, this is a cool spot.
We can hang out here for a while.
How can we trust you?
Because if I was one of the bad guys,
I would've let them get you by now.
Besides you owe me $200 and lunch.
(gentle upbeat music)
Lee.
- Alex.
- Hi.
My friend.
How are you?
- Very good, Sir, thank you.
Look, these are good people,
but I'm in bit of a bind right now.
Do you mind if we hang
out here for a while?
So Johnny said the postcard
would lead us to a dead drop.
A dead drop, Wikipedia says,
"Is used by spies to hide something
"that can be picked up later.
"Could be a loose brick
in a wall, a library book,
"a hole in a tree.
"It's always something common
"in from which the items can be picked up
"without the operatives being
seen by a member of the public"
"or the security forces
who may be watching."
It's very James Bond.
My ex was a spy.
[Alex] Hot.
Confusing.
Let's figure out the where.
I wonder why that cop's after this.
[Ian] Yeah, I have no idea.
What about the other two?
They've been following me since Johnny.
"Dear Diana, twinkle, twinkle little star.
"We've been having such fun.
"Went to a Giant Buddha, ate an egg
"that was a thousand-years-old.
"Just say Periwinkle, you'll love it.
"PS: The sign is a hug."
"XO 2 Ian."
Let me see it.
What does it mean?
It's a riddle.
"Went to the Giant Buddha."
Yeah, that's Lantau Island.
It's a real place?
(dramatic music)
What are they, telepathic?
Damn, this is our caper.
Calm down, calm down, we wait.
(speaks in foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(speaks in foreign language)
(guns firing)
(speaks in foreign language)
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(gentle music)
Let's go to the hotel.
We can't stay at the Jade Planet.
Why not?
You told the cop where we were staying
right before he pulled the knife out.
That wasn't very bright.
We need somewhere safe.
[Diana] What did you have in mind?
I know a place right around the corner.
(gentle music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(car engine revving)
(gentle music)
We're newly weds.
No, we're not.
Actually we're a runaway couple.
Yeah, I try to run away
and he just holds on.
This is our best man, right?
This is my brother, and.
I'm their best brother.
Yeah, this is my brother and actually.
No I, are you serious?
Hey.
Look, nobody can know we're here.
It's okay, we are very high
class and discreet hotel.
So it's no problem.
(gentle music)
Welcome to Hong Kong.
Please let me know if we
can be any service to you.
Okay.
Let's get a room.
I wanna start working on my afghan.
No, we stay and watch.
We need to be ready.
Eva, why must you undermine
my creative expression?
I am focusing.
We have a treasure to take.
Try standing still creatively.
I am.
God.
(cellphone ringing)
Oh, oh.
What, is it Mother?
Buyer.
But we don't have it yet.
Shh.
(dramatic music)
A mix up, but we are close.
We'll check in tomorrow.
That was good.
It's okay.
(Alex laughing)
Do you want some?
No thanks.
Do you trust me?
Do you trust me?
Do you trust me?
I'm gonna go shower next.
Okay, screw it.
(coughing)
(gentle music)
You know, I never think
of sending a postcard
when I travel.
And now you're wondering how the hell
you got into this mess.
(gentle music)
Yeah, you just gotta
wonder what so many people
want so badly.
(gentle music)
Anyway, it's kinda cool, all
this chasing around and shit.
Boys are so weird.
You know, you're just
thinking about having fun,
you know, and that's selfish.
Oh, oh yeah, well how selfish was I
when I saved your life in that alley?
Why'd you bring it up like that?
You know, a real man doesn't.
(gentle music)
(both laughing)
I do have to confess
something to you though.
I actually knew who you were
when I saw you in that alley.
I got it on the street.
No wonder I'm not getting any royalties.
You're really good in it though.
You should do more movies.
Yeah, I should.
(gentle music)
But it's a butt hole business,
full of mercenaries who
wants puppets, not actors.
My career's over and nobody notices me.
I did.
(gentle music)
I do.
Yeah, but you're not anybody.
Well, you could feel sorry for yourself
or you could do something about it.
You know, shoot your own movies.
Just say no to the puppeteers.
Heck you don't need 'em.
You don't need anybody to do it for you.
Are you always this motivated?
Yes.
(gentle music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(dramatic music)
(speaks in foreign language)
You're the police, you
could do what you want.
Do you remember what I
did to the American spy?
Well, if you fail me,
I'm going to take matters
into my own hands.
In fact, if you fail me, I'm
going to cut off your hands.
Now go.
But remember, next time
I'm going to take a finger.
(dramatic music)
[Ian] Yo, my sister already
had her tonsils removed.
My brother needs his voice box removed.
All right here, we cab
down to the waterfront,
that should be about 30 minutes.
And then we climb up to the Golden Man.
Cool.
All we need to do is get D
to rehearse her wifey routine
and we'll be ready to go.
No, no way, I'll never
be able to pull it off.
I suck a cold reads, you know that.
You know, I can't believe it, I knew it.
This is exactly why I
didn't answer the call
every time you called.
You know, you always bring trouble.
Shut up.
It's your nerves that are the trouble.
I didn't get us into this.
I didn't have a choice.
Oh it was your boyfriend.
Oh, that is not fair.
But it's true.
You're so selfish.
I am not.
You didn't even come to Mom's funeral.
[Ian] Are you still hung up on that?
You should have been there,
but instead you were
off sulking or whatever.
I was falling in love.
You ever hear of that?
Oh no, you were hiding
because you're mean and
you're ashamed of yourself.
I'm ashamed of our mom.
She thought I was broken.
She did not.
She thought you were great.
She went on and on about you all the time.
Believe me, it was annoying.
You just don't like yourself.
I guess that would make us twins.
We're not talking about me.
Oh we are now, Miss. Has been actress.
Has been?
My movie just opened, ass face.
Oh is that the title?
"Lost Lovers at Hell Lake."
Has been.
Closet case.
I can't be a closet case.
You just said.
Yeah, see, inside closet case.
At least one of us can act.
Get out of here.
Get out.
Get out.
Oh.
You know, Mom threw me out.
[Alex] Hey, we should
stay together, man.
This was such a bad idea.
(gentle music)
Hey, hey, hey, I
think you've had enough.
Stay away.
(gentle music)
Bingo.
(gentle upbeat music)
You go and get him.
Nuh uh, you do it.
No, I'm not the clientele.
You go.
No, I will be violated.
No trust me, you won't.
Go, go.
Okay dear heart.
(upbeat music)
I think you better come
with me, twinkle toes.
How about menage a trois, move it.
(upbeat music)
What?
Nothing.
(both laughing)
Laughing right now doesn't
really boost my confidence.
I'll give you a boost.
Do you know who we are?
A face with two backs, get it?
I do.
A four legged hole puncher.
(both laughing)
Get some stank on the halo.
(both laughing)
That's just.
You know, you still owe me $200, right?
Yeah right.
Really?
- No, it was good now.
- Oh hold on.
Hello.
[Eva] Have you seen your brother lately?
I have.
Why do you have my brother?
[Eva] Insurance.
You just keep doing what you are doing.
Find us that treasure.
Treasure?
[Eva] My partner will
keep his gun on Ian,
but I'll be joining you tomorrow
for our little field trip.
I'll be at your hotel
first thing in the morning.
(dramatic music)
Oh no.
Oh no.
It's all my fault.
Dammit, I should've never
have let him go out.
I should have never chased
him out of this room.
I was so horrible.
[Alex] We'll figure
it out, what's wrong?
They have my brother.
Okay.
I swear to God, if they hurt him,
I will break off their faces.
(dramatic music)
Where are we going?
(dramatic music)
Oh my God.
Oh my God, oh my God,
where's the postcard?
Oh my God, I can't find it.
I grabbed it.
(dramatic music)
It's okay.
Where are we going?
[Alex] Lantau Island.
(dramatic music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle music)
Are you sure this is the place?
By sure, do you mean certain?
[Eva] You're looking for what?
[Alex] Thousand year old egg.
[Diana] Ah, I don't see that.
Or anything Periwinkle, it's impossible.
You must have gotten it wrong.
Where's the postcard?
"Dear Diana twinkle,
twinkle little star.
"We've been having such fun.
"Went to the Giant Buddha, ate an egg
"that was a thousand-years-old."
"Just say Periwinkle."
(gentle music)
"Went to the Giant Buddha, ate an egg
"that was a thousand-years-old.
"Just say Periwinkle, you will love it.
"PS: The sign is a hug."
"XO 2 Ian."
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle music)
Sign.
The sign in his signature.
(dramatic music)
Aha, it is a map.
(dramatic music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(birds chirping)
(gentle music)
My nanny, I called her Nunu,
she taught me how to knit and crochet.
To tell you the truth, this is my passion.
Oh yeah.
It's really pretty gorgeous.
Really?
You think so?
Man, I know I hold the gun, but honestly?
Oh truth.
Originality's good.
You're actually pretty talented.
Well, thank you Ian.
That is just the nicest thing.
You know Eva, she doesn't
understand my art.
She's completely dismissive.
That I can understand.
Nobody takes you seriously.
Not being understood.
It makes you feel uncertain.
Sure does.
You know, it was my mom who
taught me my passion, cooking.
It's really how I hooked Johnny.
One morning, the first morning,
I made him a Frittata, some eggs, bacon.
It was delicious.
He couldn't leave after that.
That is so sweet.
It's all about connection.
You know, I like you Ian.
So does that mean you'll untie me?
No.
But would you like a bun?
I got the best buns in all of Hong Kong.
No.
Suit yourself.
All for me.
(people speaking indistinctly)
(birds chirping)
(people speaking indistinctly)
What's the problem?
I don't know, you tell me,
do you see a thousand-year-old
egg anywhere?
(waves crashing)
(birds chirping)
Excuse me, Mr. Chicken.
Eggshell is so fragile.
But still contains life.
You've got a thousand-year-old egg?
Answer the riddle and I'll lay an egg.
"The harder one is like the sun."
"He found a key to open me."
Easy, hearts, open.
It's in his chest.
Get it, chest.
(dramatic music)
I'm good at puzzles.
Yeah, but what's that ticking?
(dramatic music)
(egg ticking)
(dramatic music)
[Diana] Throw it.
Chicken man gonna get it.
(birds chirping)
"The harder one is like the sun.
"You found the key to open me."
Okay, gotta think.
One, sun.
(waves crashing)
Star, it's a star.
(dramatic music)
(egg ticking)
(both screaming)
"The harder one is like the sun.
"He found a key to open me."
(dramatic music)
"He found a key to open me."
Ian.
[Alex] What about Ian?
Those are Johnny's clues right?
"He found a key to open me."
Love.
The answer's Ian.
You've earned your reward.
You may take your prize
from between my thighs.
Huh?
(waves crashing)
(dramatic music)
(birds chirping)
Shall I open it?
Of course you should.
Yeah, but what if it's a bomb?
If it is you're a great kisser.
Is that all?
(dramatic music)
Keys?
What does it mean?
It means it opens something, duh?
This is unacceptable.
We have a problem.
Dag nabit, I knew it.
I told you we shouldn't be doing this.
Didn't listen, did you?
Put him on?
Hold on, hold on, I'll put him on.
Okay.
It's for you.
Hello.
We didn't get the
prize we were hoping for.
You have some explaining to do.
What is it?
[Eva] Keys.
[Diana] Let me speak to him.
Ian.
- D.
- Are you okay?
[Ian] D, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I'm so sorry.
I never meant to.
No, I'm so sorry, I'm totally sorry.
I'm such an idiot.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's me.
I know, I'm sorry, I'm the idiot.
[Ian] It's all my fault.
Hey stay on topic, stay on topic.
Okay Ian, we've got what
appears to be some keys.
Well, describe it.
It's got a couple of keys on it.
And then it's got a
little small pocket knife
that says Zin Tau on it.
[Ian] D, Zin Tau, that's Johnny's bank.
Oh, that's what he meant.
You're gonna, you're gonna
have to act like his wife
to get it, to open it up.
I can't do it.
[Ian] D you can do this.
You're my favorite actress.
(waves crashing)
I have faith in you, D.
Okay.
It'll be award-winning.
(waves crashing)
D, D.
She's gone.
(gentle upbeat music)
(machine beeping)
Wait, we can't go through
or we'll set off the machine.
We stay here.
You're on your own.
I won't set it off.
(birds chirping)
You'll be great.
If you mess up, your brother dies.
And we'll kill your lover just for fun.
(birds chirping)
Come over here, please.
I need to check your bags.
(birds chirping)
This is probably it.
(birds chirping)
Okay.
And, yes?
Yes, I'd like to retrieve my items.
- Your items?
- Yeah.
My husband died recently
and I haven't had the time
to take care of the proper.
Here's my keys.
I know I haven't been here for a while.
[Security] Wait, I know you.
I'm sorry?
You're that actress,
from "Light Of The Moon."
I can't believe it.
I saw the movie twice, I loved it.
Oh yeah.
Thank you.
- My friend also loves it.
- Thank you.
- Oh, and you're
a lot taller than I thought,
let me show you to your room
and get this over.
Thank you.
You're doing more acting?
Yeah.
And you're dancing, lot's of great
and it's different levels.
My friend downloaded the
movie from the internet.
Made a copy for me too.
And my other friends also
love you in that movie.
Right, right.
Oh my God, I just forgot.
What is your password?
Please don't tell anybody.
Oh.
I'm supposed to ask you over there.
Oh my God, don't worry
your secret is safe with me.
[Security] And your password?
Oh, right.
(laughing)
Periwinkle.
Okay.
I still can't believe it.
I'll leave this to you.
- Okay, thank you.
- See you later.
Yeah, I'll just be a minute.
And you're so friendly
and even more pretty than in the movie.
You're so pretty.
(dramatic music)
Nice one, Johnny.
Thanks.
(dramatic music)
Stop.
I've been away from you a long time
I never thought I'd miss you so
Somehow I feel
Your love was real Swanee
You're calling me
Swanee, how I love you, how I love you
My dear old Swanee
I'd give the world to be
Among the folks indeed
Even my mommy's waiting
for me, praying for me
Down by the Swanee
The folks up North will see me no more
When I go to the Swanee shore
Swanee, Swanee, I am
coming back to Swanee
Mommy, mommy
I love the old folks at home
Swanee, how I love you, how I love you
My dear old Swanee
I'd give the world
to be among the folks
In D-I-X-I-Even know my mommy's
Waiting for me, praying
for me down by the Swanee
The folks up North will see me no more
When I go to the Swanee shore
(all applauding)
Can I have your autograph please?
Oh, oh my God.
Yeah, thanks.
Thanks, bye.
(birds chirping)
Look, she even gave me her signature.
Yes, yeah.
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
You were incredible.
I've never felt this free before.
I like that song.
My God, that felt great.
I'm as high as a kite.
I know the feeling.
(car engines revving)
Wow, I did it.
You sure did.
(gentle music)
Okay enough happy time.
Was it there?
Yes.
Did you get it?
Yes.
Show it me.
(birds chirping)
Hand it over.
No.
Not until I have my brother back.
You're turning me on right now.
[Diana] Later, baby.
Gross.
Listen, we have the prize.
Bring the little sissy boy.
Yes, the rendezvous we
talked about, dummy.
(dramatic music)
(speaks in foreign language)
(laughing)
(gentle music)
After you win your first big award,
are you still gonna remember me?
I was kinda hoping that maybe
you'd be there with me when I get it.
(gentle music)
I'm a nomad.
Well, I'm a nomad girl.
Cut the bullshit.
(gentle music)
Move.
(dramatic music)
Stay here.
Stop there.
Dipshit, it's me.
(dramatic music)
- D.
- Ian.
Okay we have shown you ours.
Now you have to show us yours.
(dramatic music)
[Both] It's so big.
Have the stoner bring it there.
(dramatic music)
I'm so sorry I said those things to you.
I'm sorry too.
[Commissioner] Wait.
[Eva] Commissioner.
You two, I thought you
pinheads quit years ago.
I'm no quitter.
If he kills me, I'll
never talk to you again.
Arrest them for murder.
We don't do murder.
Zip.
I don't care what you do.
I'm the law.
You did what I say you did.
(speaks in foreign language)
(dramatic music)
Where's the diamond?
Who has it?
Give it to me now.
What are you?
Give me the diamond now.
You can't have it, it's mine.
Don't mess with me, boy.
Give it to me, I want it.
Now.
(dramatic music)
Good.
It's heavier than I remembered.
Well done, Commissioner.
Now kill them all.
That diamond belongs to my family.
[Madame Iris] Impossible.
I have definitive proof that
the diamond you're holding
is the long lost Trachtenberg Star.
(dramatic music)
Not anymore.
(laughing)
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
Behind me.
Holy shit, what happened
to you while I was gone?
Oh, just a little song and dance.
Get the diamond, get the diamond.
You have two hands, right?
No, I'm just trying
to finish your scarf.
Oh no, but Mohair makes me itch.
(dramatic music)
[Diana] Let him go.
I'll blow his brains out.
(dramatic music)
I thought I told you
to take care of things.
(dramatic music)
Put that gun down before
I make you put it down.
But I'm the one holding it.
(dramatic music)
He's cute.
I think I'll keep him from my pet.
I don't think we're gonna be able
to sing our way out of this one.
Take me, let him go and take me.
Are you insane?
It's okay, I'll take both.
No.
(dramatic music)
The most perfect diamond ever recorded.
Isn't she gorgeous?
Commissioner, the cops are here.
I can't be seen here.
Give me the star.
(dramatic music)
Madame Iris, number one.
(laughing)
We're leaving and you can
keep the big bloody diamond
and you know, shove it up your ass.
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
I've got you.
Ha.
Don't you people ever give up?
Give me the diamond.
No, I'll get it Eva.
And you know, don't worry,
I won't drop it like somebody else did.
You can't have it?
What?
It's ours.
Van, take it from her.
Go, go, go.
Van, this isn't you.
You're right y'all, I'm not a thief.
I'm an artist.
Get the diamond you wuss.
Drop the gun.
(dramatic music)
Diana, gimme the star.
Trachtenberg Star?
Why didn't you tell me?
My family's been looking for
that diamond for generations,
I couldn't risk telling anybody.
You're just like them.
D, please.
No, only my family calls me that.
(gentle music)
So you are the one who killed Johnny?
No, no, no, absolutely not.
He worked for my family.
He just wanted the reward money.
The goal was to retrieve the
postcard and recover the stone.
Running into you two in that
alley was a lucky break.
I didn't expect things
to work out so perfectly.
(gentle music)
I didn't count and falling in love.
[Diana] Alex.
I love you, Diana.
(gentle music)
(Diana crying)
(gentle music)
Freeze, freeze.
Get the weapon.
(gentle music)
Let's go, come on.
(gentle music)
My God, Diana, you wrote this?
[Diana] I lived it.
I can't believe you wrote this.
It's incredible.
You'll play the lead of course.
And then we'll get Sara
Rose to produce it.
I'll get her on the phone ASAP.
This it's gonna be your comeback.
How on earth did you think of this?
Just hit me that maybe I should
take matters into my own hands.
Just buy a camera and shoot it.
I don't have to wait to be discovered.
I know who I am.
(gentle upbeat music)
Somebody a little bit cute.
Maybe Madame Iris keep you for pet.
[Brianna] Not so fast Madame Iris.
Oh, scare somebody.
You can choke on that
Emerald all you like,
I don't want it.
I'm surrounded by love
and that's worth more
than any Emerald anywhere.
You know, I feel sorry for you,
all this evil and bloodshed for a rock.
Oh somebody hurt.
As happy as I am now,
I still feel pity for your empty soul.
Madame Iris, number one.
(guns firing)
(police sirens blaring)
The police are here, the real police.
They're here to save us.
(gentle music)
Don't.
What if they take me in?
They won't.
You saved our lives
and helped rescue the King's Emerald.
You'll be a hero.
Oh, I love you, Rex.
[Rex] I love you.
[Brianna] Please stay with me forever.
I'll always be right here, Brianna.
Always.
Forever?
You bet ya.
(both laughing)
(gentle music)
(audience cheering)
(Diana laughing)
(audience cheering)
You're amazing.
Oh, thank you so much.
You mind if I have a photo?
No, no, of course not.
Thanks.
Could you just gimme a quick sign here?
Definitely, what's your name?
Casey.
Right well.
Unbelievable.
Thank you so much.
- Thank you Steven,
I'm really happy you enjoyed it.
You're such an artist.
Thank you.
Thanks Jason, I'm really
happy you enjoyed it.
Darling, you're just
looking rather nice tonight.
Oh, hi baby, you've been working a lot?
(gentle music)
Idiots.
I was in this movie too, you know.
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you
for putting out this movie.
Like, it's changed me.
Oh my God,
thank you very much.
- You are amazing.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, Diana, you are so brave.
Oh, Sheila.
Go to hell.
Well.
Get out of my way.
Out of my way, out.
Never.
(gentle upbeat music)
You were so fantastic.
Thank you.
I really appreciate that.
Come on, let's go, talk at the party.
Oh, I'm not going to the party.
Why don't you come with us?
Really?
Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
(gentle upbeat music)
D, D, D, this is Sven, my accountant.
[Diana] Hi.
You were top of line.
So wonderful.
Awards buzz already.
Oh, whatever.
So listen, I'll see you Sunday brunch?
- Yeah.
- Brunch Sunday.
[Ian] I'll be there.
What is blunch?
- Brunch.
- It's a breakfast.
Nevermind, I'll explain.
Bring your CPA.
My C, oh yeah my CPA, yeah.
Great, great film.
I love you.
So nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
Do you mind you guys, if
I meet you at the party?
(gentle upbeat music)
You were great.
Oh, I wasn't sure if I should come.
Look, I should have told you.
Look, I should have
trusted you completely.
The truth is I never wanted it to end.
(gentle music)
I get it.
Ow.
You tricked us into helping you
then made me fall in love with you.
And then as soon as you
got your precious star,
you run off, left us.
You jerk.
You're the only star I want.
Gag.
I saw your movie,
the way it ends, is that what you want?
Rex and Brianna?
Look, I wanna wake up
with you every morning.
Drink whiskey and get high with you
every night until the sun rises.
I want you to perform "Swanee"
every night to my family,
'cause you're stunning and they
would fall in love with you.
(gentle music)
You give me a place where I fit.
I miss you.
(gentle music)
Okay.
But if you so much hint
at being a lying, cheat,
backstabbing son of a bitch,
I'll tie you to a chair and
introduce you to my agent.
[Alex] Deal.
(gentle music)