The Fare (2018) Movie Script

Came to our
planet thousands of years ago.
What people don't realize
is that they irrevocably
altered our reality.
What was will never be,
and what will be isn't.
I'm not sure I follow you there.
They shifted the very fabric
of space and time.
Time-traveling aliens.
Are they aliens, Bob?
Or are they us.
All right, goodbye.
You call it masculinity,
but what it really is, let's
be honest, it's chauvinism.
Here we go.
Men are taught to conquer.
You find it all across
history and theology.
Hades abducts Persephone
and takes it to the
underworld to be his bride.
Her father even
allows it to happen,
and speaking of father,
Helen of Joyce was
afraid her beauty
would start a war
amongst her suitors,
only to have her abducted, raped
and to start a war anyway.
After that we have the Romans,
- no improvement there.
- Next.
It's not
just about the orgasm for her.
Now we're talkin'.
It's intimacy she's missing.
She wants to be close to you,
not just sexually
but emotionally.
That's the connection
you need to build.
So you
mean like talk to her about
feelings and stuff
while we're doing it?
Harris, come in.
You've reached the
empty shell of the man
who used to be Harris.
How may I be of service
to you, my liege?
What's your ETA on that pick up?
Fuck you.
What was that?
I'm here, I think.
Passenger give any better
description than county line 10
north of 83?
Like what?
I don't know,
mile marker, a sign,
maybe a cactus shaped
like a giant dildo.
They're all shaped like dildos.
Well, that's true.
Just drive
around until you either find her
or the hill mutants descend
upon the cab and devour you.
Make sure they don't
scratch the interior.
Roger that.
What do you know?
Not a prank after all.
Call for a cab, Miss?
I sure did.
Please tell me you
have heat in there.
As long as you don't
mind the smell of burning.
I'll take burning over freezing.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
So where we headed?
Corner of Elm and
River Drive, please.
One middle of nowhere
comin' right up.
You're right, that
smells like burning.
You warm enough yet back there?
I am.
All right.
So what's your name?
Can I call you Harry?
Please never do that.
Harris, how long have
you been driving?
16 years.
Although some nights
it feels like forever.
You must like the road.
I don't hate it.
Does it ever get boring?
What do you do to pass the time?
You know, when not engaged
in riveting conversation
with one of your fares.
Games mostly.
What kind of games?
Like, like I got
this one where I see
how many green lights
I can catch in a row
before hittin' red.
I never said there
were fun games.
12 green lights in a row.
That's my record.
Your game's not original.
It's respectable,
not brag worthy.
You've done more than
12 green lights in a row?
How many?
See, if I told you you'll
feel bad about yourself.
How many?
Wow, I concede defeat.
As you should.
My name is Penny, by the way.
Like the coin?
Yeah, just like the coin.
So what do you
do, Penny like the coin?
I'm sort of in between jobs.
Right now I teach part-time.
Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me.
Art, history of DC Comics
with the folks on
the Jack Kirby years?
Is that a real thing?
It was a blow off
course seniors could take
in my high school.
Hey, I thought Kirby
worked for Marvel.
He was at Marvel first
but went over to DC
in the early '70s.
Very good though.
Well, thank you.
You obviously took
that blow off class,
and you paid attention.
So what do you teach,
Penny like the coin?
I teach dancing.
Ah, so close.
What kind of dance?
The kind where you
take your clothes off.
It's funny, that's usually
a conversation starter.
I guess I never realized
there was much of a demand
for teaching people
how to strip.
I sort of figured, you know,
you just take it
off and shake it.
Next time you're
in front of a mirror,
why don't you try that,
and then ask yourself how much
would you pay to watch you.
I would probably pay
me to keep my clothes on.
Maybe one day you should
come by for a lesson.
I'm serious.
It's a confidence builder.
So is gettin' drunk.
Yeah, but who do you
do your drinking with?
Just me.
And you're right,
it's the company
that makes the difference.
I would say so.
So, Penny like the coin,
you got a dance partner?
Hey Harris.
Go for Harris.
Been some bad
weather reports in your area.
Yeah I see it looks
like a thunderstorm.
Come back to the city limits
after your drop off.
Roger that.
Is that your boss?
He sounds pleasant.
He is not.
We're just a few minutes out.
Y'all right back there?
Goddamn piece of shit.
Harris to dispatch.
Yeah, go.
What is it?
I'm not sure.
My coffee's burning.
My passenger.
I'm enjoying
this game as much as you are.
She disappeared.
She ditched?
No, she...
She what?
She sure as hell didn't
beam out of there.
She kinda did.
You been hittin' the sauce?
What do you think?
Well, if
you haven't been drinking,
then I guess she got
abducted by aliens.
Appreciate that.
You sure she didn't ditch?
I'm quite sure.
I don't know what to tell ya.
There's no protocol for this.
Reset the meter
and come back in.
Call this one awash.
Wait, that's it.
What else is there?
I'm headed back.
That's a roger.
What they don't realize
is that they irrevocably
altered our reality.
What was will never be,
and what will be isn't.
I'm not sure I follow you there.
They shifted the very fabric
of space and time.
Time-traveling aliens?
Are they aliens, Bob?
Or are they us?
Women have
the right to be pissed off.
You call it masculinity,
but what it really is, let's
be honest, is chauvinism.
Men are taught to conquer.
We find it all across
history and theology.
Hades abducts Persephone and
takes her to the underworld
to be his bride.
I really hope that's soda.
Her father
even allows it to happen.
And speaking of father,
Helen of Joyce was
afraid her beauty
would start war monster suitors,
only to have her
abducted, raped,
and to start a war anyway.
After that we have...
All right, bye.
It's not
just about the orgasm for her.
focusing on the wrong thing.
It's the intimacy she's missing.
- She wants to be close to you.
- Of course.
Not just
sexually, but emotionally.
That's the connection
you need to build.
So you mean like talk to her
about feelings and stuff
while we're doing it?
Harris, come in.
You've reached the
empty shell of the man
who used to be Harris.
How may I be of service
to you, my liege?
Do you
even know what a liege is?
Yeah, it's like a lord.
What's your ETA on that pick up?
Fuck me.
Kiss me first.
I'm here, I think.
Passenger give any
better description
than county line
10, north of 83?
Like what?
I don't know, a
mile marker, a sign,
maybe a cactus shaped
like a giant dildo?
Actually, scratch that they're
all shaped like dildos.
Just drive around
like the idiot that you are,
'til you either find her
or the ground underneath
breaks open and swallows
you into its gaping mouth.
And don't let it
scratch the paint job.
Roger that.
Not a prank.
You call for a cab, Miss?
Yes, I did.
Please tell me you
have heat in there.
As long as you don't
mind the smell of burning.
I'll take it over freezing.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
So where are we headed?
Corner of Elm and
River Drive, please.
So middle of nowhere.
You're right, that
smell's like burning.
So your name's Harris?
Yes, ma'am.
Can I call you Harry?
Not if you want an answer.
All right, Harris.
Do you like driving a cab?
I don't hate it.
Doesn't it get repetitive?
Not when I'm engaged
in riveting conversation
with one of my fares.
Riveting, that's
a lot of pressure.
Ah, you seem up for the task.
What should this riveting
conversation consist of?
Whatever you like,
miss, it's your ride.
I'd like to know
something about you.
I drive a cab.
See, I already knew that.
Come on, tell me
something unique.
Everybody's got something
unique about them.
Well, in high
school I took a class
on the history of DC comics
with the folks on
the Jack Kirby years.
It's unique.
Yeah, well, that is unique.
Although it's also trivial.
What, how so?
Well, you completed the
assignment by telling me something
about yourself that's
specific and unusual,
and therefore you satisfy the
definition of the word unique,
but in doing so you
didn't actually tell me
anything about you.
Except that I like Jack Kirby.
Yeah, but, so do
you like Jack Kirby
because you're a comic book fan,
or do you actually
like Jack Kirby
because you yourself are
a disenfranchised crank.
Oh, whoa whoa whoa, feisty.
That would have
been something unique.
How do you know
so much about Kirby?
Well, maybe I
took that class too.
Well, all right then.
Well, what about you?
It's your turn.
What about me?
What do you wanna know?
Well, let's start
with what is your name.
Penny, are you all right?
I didn't tell you my name.
I didn't tell you
my name this time.
We must've hit an
animal or something.
You remembered me.
Just now you remembered me.
Do you remember me?
Harris, what's going on?
Why are you stalled?
We hit something.
It must've run off.
Did it damage the cab?
Harris, remember me this time.
What the
hell's going on over there?
Fuck it.
I don't know.
I lost my fare.
Did she ditch?
Goddamn it, my
seat belt's stuck!
Whoa, all right.
Keep your shirt on.
Just call this one awash, okay.
Looks like you got some bad
weather rolling in over there.
Bring the cab back
into the city limits.
That's a roger.
You all right there?
Not really.
forget to reset your meter.
Through government grants
we came to the
conclusion that these
so-called extraterrestrials
came to our planet
thousands of years ago.
What people don't
realize is they
irrevocably altered our reality.
What was will never be,
and what will be isn't.
I'm not sure I follow you there.
They shift at the very fabric
of space and time.
Time traveling aliens.
Are they aliens, Bob?
Or are they us?
Harris, come in.
Go for Harris.
That was fast.
What's your ETA on that pick up?
Yeah, ETA.
What are you high?
Weather reports in
your area aren't pretty
and they're getting
uglier by the minute.
I'm here.
Yeah, I see the
weather up ahead.
I'm almost to the pickup.
Keep me posted.
Will do, roger that.
Please tell me you
have heat in there.
As long as you don't
mind the smell of burning.
I'll take that over freezing.
Where we headed?
Corner of...
Elm and River Drive.
Middle of nowhere.
You're right, that
smells like burning.
Smells like burning.
Do you remember me?
I'm sorry, but
have we met before?
I don't think so.
It's just I'm
pretty good with faces
and you seem so familiar.
I do?
Very much.
You know, I've had the
worst deja vu all night.
Like I can predict what
the radio is gonna say.
You have ever have
one of those nights?
Not really.
Not really, okay.
Harris, your name's Harris.
Please don't call me Harry.
You were gonna ask
me that, weren't you?
See, I knew that,
how did I know that?
Were you gonna ask me that?
No, okay.
What's your name?
Like the coin.
Like the coin.
That's what we always
say, like the coin,
and then you ask me
if I like driving.
And then we talk about Jack
Kirby and traffic lights
and high school and stripping.
I do know you.
We been here before,
the two of us,
me driving you just like this.
And then we always
hit bad weather,
and that's when you
disappear from the cab.
Am I crazy?
Do you think you're crazy?
I sure as hell sound crazy.
How are you doing this?
How is this happening
all of a sudden?
You've never remembered
anything about...
So I'm right?
We been here before.
I am right, I am right!
Hoo, hoo!
What is this?
Did I volunteer for some
science experiment or something?
Am I sitting in a lab somewhere
pumped full of cocaine and
daffodil juice or something.
Well, that I can't tell you.
So you don't know why?
How much do you remember?
I remember driving this
route with you before.
I can't...
It's like trying to
remember a dream.
How are you so calm about this?
I've had a lot of
time to get used to it.
Time, how many times have
we taken this drive before?
A hundred.
Maybe more.
It was so many drives
together that we started.
And you never remember,
and I never forget.
So I've driven you down
this same stretch of road
over and over again
for a hundred times?
Hoo hoo hoo hoo
hoo hoo, the fuck.
Are you happy about this?
I've given up hope you'll
ever remember anything.
Who are you?
I'm just your fare.
I just got in your cab one day.
This is my fare, okay.
Well, that clears everything up.
Harris, come in.
Go for Harris.
gettin' worse out there.
I see it.
Drop off your fare,
come back into the city limits.
Roger that.
No, no no no no no no.
Damn it!
came to our planet
thousands of years ago.
What people don't realize
is that they irrevocably
altered our reality.
What was will never be.
Shifted the
very fabric of space and time.
Time traveling aliens.
Are they aliens, Bob?
Or are they us?
Dispatch to Harris.
Yeah, ETA on the
pick up, almost there,
will keep you posted.
Over and out.
Get in, the heat
smells like burning.
You know what, hey, why don't
you sit up front this time?
Is that allowed?
Who's gonna tell on us?
We're apparently stuck in a
time loop for all eternity.
Let's change it up.
This is really real.
I'm afraid so.
Shall we drive?
We have to go in a
different direction.
Don't ask to go
to Elm and River,
pick somewhere else.
I already tried that.
Drives 12 through 22,
then again on 49, got
desperate that time.
Well, what happened?
Every road is blocked.
Or forced back that direction.
It's the only way we can go.
Have we ever gotten
out and walked?
We get caught in
the electric storm
and have to duck
back in the cab.
There has to be
something we haven't tried.
Tell you what.
If you come up with something,
you make sure to let me know.
I've tried everything
I could think of.
Why don't we just keep
driving to Elm and River
and see where it takes us.
All right.
We got to figure this shit out.
One thing I don't understand.
Just one?
Why can't I remember?
I think a better question is
why did you start remembering.
There was an accident
and the partition broke.
Oh yeah, I believe I
put my face through it.
I touched your hand.
Was that it?
Well, whatever it
was, I'm grateful.
I know you're anxious to
get to the bottom of this,
but I am just happy
to have the company.
Wow, that burning smell
is way stronger up here.
Shoulda warned ya.
I am so sorry.
I put you through
that so many times.
It's okay.
I don't remember.
You were saying something about
how grateful you were for me.
I was saying.
I am.
I'm grateful.
Until now I've been very alone.
You're not alone anymore.
So, how do we beat this?
I don't know if we can.
You remember every drive, right?
What's something we
never tried before?
Harris, we're in a cab.
There's a finite amount
of things we can do.
Well, have we ever tried
lighting the cab on fire
and running it off the
road at 100 miles per hour?
That'd be drive 64.
Just nothing to light it with.
Well, if this is new for you,
and right now you've
got the stamina for it,
but for me it's been
a very long road.
Honestly, I'm just
really happy to be able
to have a conversation with you
where we can finally move on
from tell me something
about yourself.
I took a class on Jack Kirby.
Now tell me something
about yourself.
I told you about
my Jack Kirby class?
Yeah, you mentioned it.
I am so sorry.
Don't be.
I actually know a lot about you.
Let's see.
I know where you were born.
I know the make and model of
every car you've ever driven.
I know your high school
mascot, go bulldogs.
I know your favorite album,
first celebrity crush.
Oh, I even know your
favorite breakfast cereal.
It's Cocoa Puffs.
I'm sorry, but I don't know you.
I'm partial to Fruit Loops.
Look, I can't imagine
what this is like for you,
but if it helps, I
consider us friends.
I guess I got some
catchin' up to do.
Yeah, you do.
Do you think has
something to do with it,
this loop we're in?
I don't know.
I wonder what would happen
if I didn't reset the meter.
What do you mean?
Nothin', never mind.
We'll think of
something, I'm sure.
Dispatch to Harris.
Not sure why I'm bothering.
Go for Harris.
Some bad weather reports.
In my area, yeah,
I see the storm.
Bring the cab back
in after my drop off?
That's a roger.
Will do, my liege.
Harris out.
So, before you disappear.
Or not.
What happens to you
when you disappear?
Does it hurt?
It's kind of like
falling asleep,
and then the next time I wake up
I'm out on the road in
the cold waiting for you.
What about you?
As soon as I reset this meter
it's literally like I blink
and I'm back on the road
at the very beginning
listening to the worst crap
imaginable on the radio.
There we go.
The grandmother is an alien.
We are the aliens.
I'm an alien.
Do you remember the first time?
Did something happen to
us that caused all this?
Nothing happened.
We drove into some bad weather.
That was it.
Have you ever tried
holding onto anything?
Like what?
Like your hand?
You trying to get me
to hold your hand?
I never said
anything about a hand.
See now you're not even
gonna get your hand held.
For research purposes only.
You have very big hands.
All right.
Is someone out there?
Is anyone out there?
I'm out here.
What the hell's wrong with you?
Jerk off.
Miss me?
Hey, are you
actually a stripper.
Oh God, that you remembered?
No, I made that up.
By then I was just
making stuff up
to get a rise out of you.
I was also an FBI agent
once and I worked for NASA.
How did I react to that?
Not nearly as
fascinated as you were
about the stripper one.
Well, what do you actually do?
Believe it or not,
I'm in horticulture.
It's plants and flowers.
I run a plant nursery.
Ah, horticulture huh.
See, when you tell
people I'm in plants,
that's usually a
conversation ender.
I like fertilization.
Is that a plant joke?
I like plants.
You've never had anything
to say about plants.
Trust me.
Okay, let's play
marry fuck kill.
Marry, fuck, kill.
Selena Gomez, Ariana
Grande, Miley Cyrus.
How come you don't like
to be called Harry?
I like to think I'm
harry enough as it is.
I don't need it pointed
out to me constantly.
Do I have to?
Yeah, that's the game.
What about you?
Penny short for
anything like Penelope?
It's just Penny.
You know, like the coin.
Like the coin.
Yeah, like the coin.
'Cause she did Wrecking Ball,
and I would marry Selena Gomez
'cause she's such a good girl.
Is she?
You're trapped on
a desert island.
Or how about just
in a car forever.
Or that.
And let's say you can be trapped
with anybody dead or alive,
who would you wanna
be trapped with?
Tread lightly, my
feelings are fragile.
Marry, fuck, kill.
Penn Jillette,
Teller, Criss Angel.
Pet what?
Let's see.
MacGyver probably.
I mean, I figure he'd,
you know, build something
to get me off the island.
Penn Jillette and Teller.
I don't know the
difference between the two.
This is a hard choice.
This is the game though.
Brad Pitt.
Ah, True Romance.
It's like the first
thing he was ever in,
he had a tiny part.
Anyway, True Romance.
Christian Slater.
Isn't it like he always has like
a paperclip and a jar of
peanut butter or something.
He builds a bomb out of it.
Fair enough, it was your choice.
You wanted to get
off the island.
I was thinking
about maybe basking
in the glow of the island.
Well, no.
Just making the
best of my situation.
- But that's cool, that's cool.
- Well, in that case.
In that case if we
were to make the best
of our situation,
I would much rather be in
a cab than on an island,
and there's no one I'd rather
be trapped with than you.
Thank you.
Yeah, what about you?
You know what you are?
You are one of those bullshit
pseudo scientists.
I didn't think he would
say bullshit on the radio.
Without having to take
any responsibility for anyone.
I think Bella's
marriage material,
but Jasmine's sexy.
Jasmine's very sexy.
Can I have like a
Stepford wife of sorts,
like a robot?
Why would your mind go there?
You just hate people, don't you?
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
Well, he's already died.
I don't even the other.
Convincing some old lady in Iowa
that time traveling
aliens are the reason
her grandkids don't visit.
Shame on you.
But Bob, if you listen
to what I'm saying...
What exactly are you saying?
Actually, I think
I finally figured out
what they're saying.
So, these time traveling
us aliens from the future
travel back in time and
created us in their/our image.
But in doing so
altered our appearance
so that we look more like them.
Which is us.
Yeah, but how did we turn
into them in the first place?
For them to go back
in time and create us.
See, that would
have to happen first
for us to look like them,
if they're us.
Which is us.
Damn it, I had this.
No, you didn't.
Get out of my office.
Could I
just take the water with me.
But why not me on the island?
Like you, is it...
'Cause can you build a raft
out of coconuts
and dental floss?
Why do you wanna
get off the island?
Why can't we enjoy the island?
Why can't we be islanders.
It's our island.
No, that's cool.
It's cool, it's cool.
I'll just drop you...
Oh, this looks like a good spot,
it's the middle of
nowhere, perfect for you.
Got through government grants.
We came to the conclusion that
these so-called
came to our thousands
of years ago.
What people don't realize
is that they irrevocably
altered our reality.
What happens to you?
I'm doing it.
We'll think of somethin'.
Miss me?
It gets easier.
Come on, talk to me.
It's nothin'.
What's at Elm and
River Drive anyway?
Honestly, I don't even remember.
Hey, why a cab?
You never told me.
Why do you drive a cab?
Why does it matter
why I drive a cab?
Or where I went to high
school or my favorite Beatle.
None of it matters,
nothing matters here.
We're just...
My Pops drove one.
32 years, right up until
he croaked at the wheel.
Did he like it?
No, absolutely hated it,
complained about a
sore ass all the time.
But that was the
thing about him,
he just never had it in
him to be anything else.
Had it in him?
He was a simple guy.
Got up, did his job, came home.
Before he knew it he was old,
his life hadn't
amounted to anything.
You say that like
you despise him for it.
No, I just...
I didn't wanna be
the same as him.
Joke's on me I guess.
Think you're up for
rubbin' my ass a bit.
I'm just tired of drivin'.
You feel trapped.
I know all about what
it's like to feel trapped.
I'm married back in the world.
But it's...
It's not what a
marriage should be.
It's not even close.
My husband, he's brilliant,
but he's cold and he's cruel.
And his work always comes
first, which is fine,
what he does is important,
and, honestly, I'm
relieved not to have to
spend any time with him
outside of social
functions and appearances.
But living like that,
it makes you alone.
Even when you're around people.
See, you don't know
what that's like,
you don't know what it's like
to live life out in the cold.
Then why not divorce him?
Because our families
are influential
and our marriage is an
alliance between them.
It's not something I can
just file some papers
and walk away from.
So you see, you don't
have to be in a time loop
to be trapped.
I'm sorry.
I'm not.
Not here.
Here I'm not alone.
You can judge me if you want.
As a matter of fact,
you probably should.
But part of me, big part of me
is genuinely happy
to be here with you.
So what about you?
Is there anybody special?
Well, in high school
my girlfriend dumped me
in front of the band and the
dick playing the trombone
went wah-wah.
Everybody laughed at
me and I wanted to die.
That was my last
serious relationship.
That can't possibly be it.
That's not it at all.
Hey, I get it, it's okay.
We don't have to
talk about that.
There's plenty of other
subjects to discuss.
Hey, did you see
that game last night?
All right, smart ass.
There was someone.
How'd you guys meet?
She got into my cab one day.
Was she riveting?
Yeah, but was she asked you
to turn the heat on riveting?
No, not that riveting.
Plus we met in the summer time,
so ironically the first
thing she asked me for
was to turn on the
air conditioning.
We didn't end well.
I thought we were...
I was deluding myself.
How so?
She ran off on me one day.
Did she tell you why?
Probably didn't wanna be
with a lowly cab driver.
I'm sure it's not like that.
Well, whatever it was,
I guess whatever we
had wasn't enough.
Did you ever see her again?
Well, suppose you
ran into her again.
What would you say?
Come on.
What would you say?
I'm sorry I didn't
know how to fix it.
What makes you
think it's your fault?
Had to be someone's fault.
No, it doesn't.
And for what it's worth,
I think it's quite noble
to transport people
to their destinations.
There's nothing lowly
about being a cab driver.
We all have to get
where we're going.
You say that except I
can't for the life of me
get you to Elm and
goddamn River Drive.
Some cabby I am.
I'll find you, Penny.
What am I doing?
What the hell am I doing?
Come on.
Come on!
Come on!
Harris, come back.
Harris to Dispatch.
Harris to Dispatch,
please come in.
Turn back.
Come back.
Turn back!
Turn back!
Hey, are you okay?
Just glad to see you.
Something happened.
What happened?
You're okay.
Why wouldn't I be?
I can't lose you.
What do you mean?
We're stuck together, remember?
You're not gonna lose me.
My seat belt's stuck.
Wow, that's really impressive.
That was impressive.
So what happened after we left
each other last time?
Doesn't matter, you were right.
Well, I'm used to that.
But pray tell in what
context are you referring?
At first all I
wanted was to get out of this.
Go on.
What if we were meant to
be here with each other?
What if this is a gift?
Let's just stay here.
What do you think?
No more loneliness,
no more empty lives,
just you and me.
Are you sure?
You can live with that?
I think so.
And that'll be enough?
Where did you get that scar?
What scar?
The one on your head,
right where it went
through the partition.
If time was resetting,
how did that heal?
You're not resetting.
That must mean neither am I.
What's going on?
That scar looks old.
Where did that time go?
Where was I?
No, tell me the truth, Penny!
What is going on?
What don't I know?
Don't ask those questions.
Don't pull on the thread.
What don't I know?
Just stay here with me,
just be happy with me.
Just be...
Be here with me.
Are you the one keeping me here?
It was...
Who is keeping me here?
Don't drink the water.
Harris, come in.
Yeah, I'm here.
What's your ETA on that pick up?
Any minute, I'll
keep you posted.
Harris out.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.
Elm and River.
Elm and River Drive.
Come back to me.
I'll find you, Penny.
Where is Penny?
Who's Penny?
Who is Penny.
There was someone.
How did you guys meet?
She got into my cab one day.
Was she riveting?
We didn't end well.
You call for a cab, Miss?
Yeah, I did.
Do you have air
conditioning in there?
I do.
We're fancy, it
works and everything.
That's awesome, thank you.
You know, legend has it that
the star Altair is a man,
and the star Vega is a woman,
and they loved each
other very much.
But they weren't
allowed to be together.
So the milky way was
created as a barrier
to keep them apart.
However, every year their
star paths would cross
and they would get to
spend one moment together
as they passed each other by.
Isn't that romantic?
Are you gagging back
there, how sappy this is?
No, I'm not gagging, I'm bummed.
That's really sad.
Love stories usually are.
For the ride.
Harris, come in.
Did you make the drop off?
What's happening to me?
You're doing your job.
What is my job?
You work for me.
What is my job?
Harris, you are the fairy man.
I have a life.
I'm a cab driver,
I remember that,
I remember...
Well, you had a life,
and I'm sure it was a
moderately decent one,
but it's long over.
Who are you?
It's not obvious?
We're gonna actually do this.
Well, throughout the ages
I've been called many things.
None of them positive.
I don't know why
people hate me so much,
I'm sort of a necessary evil.
I mean, without
me there would be
no turning of the
tides, no progress.
Life as they all know
it would cease to exist.
So you...
I am the receiver of many.
What about Penny?
Where is she?
It's cute, right?
It's a cute name.
Your Penny, as she likes
to be called these days,
is home right now.
You know, it's not your fault,
what happened with you two.
I don't actually blame you.
Penny and I have
been havin' problems
for, let's see, ever.
I tried to make her
happy, I really did,
but these arranged relationships
they just never
work out, do they?
So she's...
She's my wife.
My husband, he's
brilliant, but he's cold.
Time, how many times have
we taken this drive before?
Five, 10?
And he's cruel.
I don't wanna be
the same as him.
How much do you remember?
Don't drink the water!
Harris, remember me this time.
She hates me.
I mean hates me,
and every year she takes
these trips away from here,
away from me.
Up above.
She just can't wait, you know.
She just can't wait to get away.
And on one of those little trips
she met you.
Really did a number
on you, didn't she?
I'd like to point out right now
that I'm not the bad guy
here, that I'm the victim.
You guys were the ones
who ran around on me.
I was forgiving, I was
lenient, I was merciful.
Yeah, so I sentenced
you to an eternity
of being my fairy man,
but I took away your memory
of that little trump,
and do I get to forget?
I have to live with what
you guys did, so to speak.
Oh, and by the way, she's
still messing with you.
She just had to tell
you about the water.
You wanna know something?
She's the one who put it there.
So every year she takes
a trip away from here,
and every year...
You drive her back.
There are many ways
for her to leave here,
but there is only
ever one way back.
The fairy man.
You know, just because
you're aware of yourself now
doesn't mean you
get to stop working.
Moonlight's burning, Harris.
Fares are piling up.
We have a job to do,
and we pride ourselves
on our service.
So reset your meter.
Dispatch out.
You're such a jerk!
- It wasn't even me.
- I hate you!
It wasn't me.
- Yeah, it wasn't you.
- I wasn't even there.
It wasn't you, like,
when you Mom came home.
And just about then I
started to expand my thinking.
Trying new places, high
end groceries for example.
Know where we can stop
for a cheeseburger?
I mean you can really clean
up outside a place like that.
Look what you did to my shoe!
- You broke my shoe.
- You did that yourself.
These are the most
expensive shoes I have.
I, I don't, I don't...
Spring break gone bad?
Say no more, young
squire, say no more.
I, I, I, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
Stay in the cab, you don't
wanna jump out, die twice.
Actually, tell me what happened.
So I got locked in the
bathroom for 45 minutes.
People think the
secret to panhandling
is having the right sign.
That's not the secret at all.
- You tried to get me...
- Oh my God.
- You're so annoying.
- This guy's gonna give you...
A lot of money, but he's not.
Elm and River.
Elm and River.
Elm and...
Elm and River.
We actually don't
eat down here at all.
I feel like I should warn you.
So the secret is not
to wear shoes, man.
Went out with a bang, huh?
This isn't one of those
like gas, grass or ass
kind of cabs, is it?
Seemed to have left my wallet.
You know, we got radio.
I mean it's like XM.
Are you a vaper or a bonger?
I'm a chonger.
That's a cheeseburger bonger.
Yeah, I'm here.
Well welcome.
You know, if I could, if
could, if I could just
for a minute.
It's some compelling stuff,
like time traveling aliens
and I've listened to it
like a hundred times.
Elm and river!
Got my money on her.
Hello my ragtime gal
Where the hell is this?
Please tell me you
have heat in there.
It smells like burning.
Always does.
I'm sorry.
Was this presumptuous of me?
Not at all.
It's been a long year.
Why does that happen every
time you get in my cab?
What's that about?
That's just my husband
getting ready for a fight,
which I will win.
I looked for you,
then next year when I went back
I found your cab.
Did you now?
I had it restored.
I even drove it around
a couple of times.
Oh, and how'd she treat ya?
She didn't like me as
much as she liked you.
Well, who does?
I'm sorry, Harris.
I'm sorry for everything.
It's been a year again here,
you really wanna
spend it this way?
You're right.
How do you wanna spend it?
Well, my seat
belt's stuck again.
You can drink the water.
It's there so you
don't have to remember.
I know, but I'm always
afraid I'll forget ya again.
Besides, I started
to see the nobility
in getting people to
their destination.
I was selfish, but you
started to remember me.
Stop, it's okay.
I'm sorry.
I'm eternally grateful
for what you did.
That's purgatory humor.
Look, I once told you
that remembering you
was like waking up from a dream.
I've had a long time since
then to make sense of it,
to think about why it even
happened in the first place,
and one thing I know for
sure is before that night
I felt like I'd
forgotten my way home
even though it was
right in front of me.
But when I remembered
you and us that was home.
I remembered you because
you're the one thing in my life
worth holdin' onto.
It's 20 minutes a year.
Is it really worth
that much to you?
It's worth its
price in gold, baby.
That's fairy man humor there.
I got that.
Many people go
their entire lives
without finding any meaning.
Believe me, I've driven my
share of them in the past year.
I consider myself lucky
to get 20 minutes.
So come on.
This is our 20 minutes.
Let's talk about
something more interesting
than eternal suffering.
I get enough of
that in my day job.
Okay, marry fuck kill.
You go first.
You would not believe
the amount of ways
that people die naked.
Well, Miss, I believe
this is your stop.
Please reconsider.
Penny, it's my choice.
This is what I want.
As long as I can
remember you I got hope.
Then I'll always
be waiting for you.
And I'll always be
here to drive you.