The Firemen's Ball (1967) Movie Script
1
ANNUAL FIREMEN'S BALL
8 February. Admission 8 crowns
Music - Dancing - Raffle
Beauty Contest
Honouring a Deserving Colleague
Let's see!
Beautiful, isn't it?
It's very nice.
- It will make him happy.
- Pass it around.
It's great!
Let's see! Let's see!
It will make him happy.
Very nice,
but we should have
presented it last year,
on his 85th birthday
instead of now.
Maybe. That's true.
How could we know last year,
that he would get cancer this year?
True, but it's as if we're rushing
to give it before it's too late.
And you expect him to be happy?
But we're the only ones who know
that he's got cancer.
He doesn't know!
So he can just be happy, can't he?
How do you know he doesn't know?
Did you ask him?
How would you know?
Not us.
And certainly not the doctors.
They have no right to say.
That's the law.
You can have a huge cancer
and the doctor won't tell you a thing.
You can't trust doctors!
What's the use of telling him?
You can be half dead.
When it's the end, a man feels it.
- And they won't tell you.
- You were never dying, so be quiet.
Look, let's be logical.
If he knows, he knows
and if he doesn't know
we're not going to tell him.
Franta, you hypochondriac.
Don't you dare ask him where his
cancer hurts, or anything like that.
Don't worry about me.
I won't ask him anything.
He's playing tricks again. Vaclav!
Stop playing games!
This is no time for games!
- There was a cake here.
- What?
Put it back! It's not for me.
It's for the guests!
So what?
Mr Balcar!
Mr Balcar!
Don't bother him now.
Mr Balcar!
What? Don't bother me now!
See, what did I tell you?
I stand here. I hold the ladder.
I can't see what's behind my back.
How am I supposed to know
whether someone was there
when you were gone?
See my point?
Well, what do we do?
- That's your problem.
- Why my problem?
We're the only two here.
Just the two of us.
Well, it wasn't me!
Then who took it?
Please search me, gentlemen.
No! Sit down.
No one's blaming you.
There! Look at that!
- I saw you!
- You saw nothing.
- Don't lie to me!
- You see too much.
Don't lie to me!
That leg wasn't there!
- Of course it was.
- It stands up by itself!
- It'll fall down.
- No, it won't. Look!
You're a liar!
You could walk away!
It stands up without you.
- Yeah, yeah.
- That's how you got it. I saw!
- I saw!
- And what are you going to do...?
- Saw, saw...! Don't deny it!
- The cake was your job, not mine!
- Who stole it?
- It wasn't me!
- But you could have!
- I didn't take it! You be careful...!
I can't work like this!
You could have left.
Well, I'm not staying here with you.
- I'm going!
- Josef! What are you doing?
Where are you going?
Help!
Get me down! Get me down!
Get me down!
Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up!
I can't hang on!
I can't hang on! Do something!
Help!
Please get me down!
I'm falling!
May I, gentlemen?
Rm 90mg t0 let g0!
I'm letting g0!
Barrandov Film Studios presents
a Czechoslovak-Italian co-production
a film directed by
Milo Forman
THE FIREMEN'S BALL
Story and Screenplay,
Script Editor
Starring
Assistant Director, 2nd Cameraman,
Deputy Head of Production
Make-Up, Costumes, Art Direction
Music by
The Film Symphony Orchestra
conducted by Qtpn Koniek
Production Designer, Editing, Sound
Head of Production
Director of Photography
Directed by Milo Forman
Winner of the Klement Gottwald Prize
Made at Barrandov Film Studios
Creative Group Leaders
Processed at Prague Film Laboratories
Come on, boys,
let's get to work.
We've got a job to do.
Look at them!
Have a good look and you'll see.
- This one's for me?
- You've already got one!
That's enough!
Calm down, everybody!
Wait while I count them.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
Remember our winner
must be from round here.
The girls are from all over the world.
You're getting ahead of yourself.
We won't have as many to choose from.
We'll take... Well, let's say...
How many?
There was a brandy bottle here!
- Where?
- Here!
- And it's gone, has it?
- Can't you see? It's gone.
Are you sure?
- It was standing right there. Look!
- Did you put it there in the first place?
Of course I did!
I've been watching all the time.
It's not my fault.
There was nobody here.
- You didn't watch!
- I did!
- No, you didn't!
- Yes, I did!
Then what were you watching?
- Not here!
- Don't yell.
Am I yelling?
Am I yelling?
I simply said.
You didn't watch. The bottle is gone.
First, let's decide.
Do we select two, ten, or forty?
Eight.
- Eight?
- Eight.
But, remember! They've got to be
the most beautiful!
I understand! I understand!
So get to it!
They'll be the most beautiful girls
we've got here!
You can't see them from here!
From the balcony,
we could see their breasts!
Look, Vclav,
I've only called you here
because I had a bottle of brandy here.
Mother and I have been keeping careful
watch. And the bottle disappeared.
- I want you to see!
- So, and where is it?
That's why I called you,
to make sure nobody thinks
we're the ones who swiped it!
Listen, Josef!
Where's the headcheese?
What headcheese?
There was some headcheese here!
I remember,
there was a chocolate cake.
That's right, there was.
But no headcheese.
I'd swear to that.
You're imagining things!
Well then, where's the cake?
Wait!
The chocolate cake...
Chocolate... Mother, come here.
There was a chocolate ball here.
- What sort of ball?
- A chocolate one!
I never saw it.
You must have!
You're out of your mind!
Wait a minute!
Wasn't that a headcheese?
You're right, Vclav!
It was a headcheese!
Well, that settles that!
Well then, where's the headcheese?
Look at that one!
That's a beauty queen!
I'd like to see their legs!
Boys, we're doing things upside down.
We're looking at legs instead of faces.
She should have a face like a virgin.
A face like a picture.
They're the worst kind!
Come here. Look!
What about that one?
The one scratching her head.
What do you think?
No...
Ota!
- Write down Blanka!
- Who!
Don't ask questions! Write it down!
What are you writing there?
Blanka!
She's ugly as sin!
Never mind. Write!
She's already written down.
- Shall I leave her down, then?
- Yes, leave her there.
We've got one!
It's all set. Mother!
Don't do that to me, chaps!
Who ordered these?
Not me!
It wasn't me!
So, who was it?
It's me! Drink up!
That's my daughter over there.
He wants his Rfiiena in the list.
We'll have two girls.
Which one is she?
There. See her?
The gentlemen thank you
and said to tell you
they're not thirsty.
Good evening, young lady.
- We're members of...
- ...the contest committee.
- Wait!
- Finish what you were saying.
We'd be very happy
if you'd agree
to take part in the
Miss Fireman beauty contest.
You're very pretty.
What do you say?
Why aren't you thirsty anymore?
Wait!
What do I have to wait for?
I'm talking to you!
Take him away!
Come on, Ludvik!
What's up?
What's the matter with you?
But why us?
Not you. We chose this young lady.
Put down my Rfiiena. As a favour to me.
But Ludvik, try to understand,
she looks just like you...
Sure. She's my daughter!
That's just the trouble!
Don't laugh! Well miss, yes?
Franta!
Franta!
Come here!
Hurry UP!
Vrecka and Matjikov.
You see the beautiful girls we've got?
Now we've got three contestants.
Shut up and write!
- What's her name?
- Vrecka, Matjikov.
Ota!
Did you put Blanka down?
Cross her off!
But you yourself told me...
Don't argue! Take her name off!
Do I cross her off?
Don't cross anything out.
But she told you to!
- Well, make up your mind, damn it!
- Do as she says.
Okay, she's off!
I was watching.
- No!
- I was!
But I didn't lose it! You did!
It was her.
Ludvik, you're driving us crazy!
Stop it!
I'll stop if you put my Rfiiena down.
You surprise me, Mother.
You're so stupid!
You old fool!
They're stealing the stuff
right under your nose!
Well, then.
You watch!
Go away! Don't touch me!
Leave me alone!
Get away from there!
Don't you understand Czech?
What's going on here?
Get away from there!
I know a nice castle inn
the vineyard, brook and forest
is whispering there.
I know a nice castle inn
now it's called Paradise.
Near Kokofin, near KokoFin
I like to drink a bottle of wine.
Near Kokofin is Katefina
And Katefina knows
How to make love.
A quick barmaid,
Cleverly making her way,
Refusing everyone,
She knows what to do.
As soon as I enter,
She looks at me.
The world turns around
And it's already May.
Near Kokofin, near KokoFin
I like to drink a bottle of wine
Near Kokofin is Katefina
- And Katefina knows...
- Is that you, Cmarada?
Cmarada!
Kamzik, is that you?
Kamzik!
Young lady,
we are the contest committee
and we would like you
to be a candidate...
...in the election of Miss Fireman.
What?
Would you take part
in our competition?
- What's up, gentlemen?
- Wait! Is she your girl?
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Let us explain!
- Explain what?
- Is she your girl?
We're asking her to take part...
- Come on, explain!
- We are explaining.
- Well, explain then!
- We told you twice.
Let us explain!
- Come on! Come on! Come on!
- Let me go, damn it!
Take that you "bloody fireman",
you hooligan, you!
Franta, leave him alone!
Come on, Franta!
Hey Zindulka! Well I never! You're the
last person I would have thought of!
- But...
- Are you back from the army already?
Well, Zindulka, well I never...!
What are you doing here?
I can't find the list
with the girls' names.
Miss! Come out! Quick!
Come out!
Did you hear me?
Come out of there!
If I have to call someone,
there'll be a scandal!
Be a good girl. Come out!
Oh!
You idiot, what are you doing
with my bag?
What's in there is none
of your business!
And why have you pulled it out from
under the table, anyway?
Everybody steals,
but you've got to look!
You and your idiotic honesty!
- Vrensk.
- No, Vreck!
- She's too homely.
- We dropped her.
- Matjikov!
- Matjikov!
Yeah, Matjikov!
Write her down! Matjikov.
Yes, but we've only got one girl.
- Mark down his Rfiiena.
- OK, I'll write her down.
OK, but that's only two!
Could I please be
excused for a minute?
Now? Is it really urgent?
We were about to announce
the winner of the beauty contest.
Yes, but...
I don't want to spoil things...
You can go,
but come right back!
I'll hold on if you like...
Attention, everybody!
We ask all the candidates selected,
for our Miss Fireman contest
to gather in the room behind the bar.
I repeat: Behind the bar.
Come in!
Line up there.
Don't worry, the others are nicer.
Good evening, I'm the mother.
I've come to have a look at you.
I wanted to ask you
what this is all about.
My girl told me
something about a contest...
But I think she's only a child.
With no experience. She knows nothing.
So I came to see what's what.
It's kind of you to come to see us.
Are you satisfied?
If she wins, I'll be satisfied!
Don't worry, she'll be safe with us.
It's better to make sure.
Of course, you're the boss.
But look at us!
Are we the kind who would...
Then I'll bring her in.
Hanna, where are you?
Where have you gone? Come here, girl!
Here she is.
Skinny as a toothpick!
Is it my fault she won't eat?
Stand up straight!
She's ready now.
She's not moving.
She's not moving.
All right, you can go now.
I'm curious to see what's going on.
Don't worry! She'll be all right.
If I stay,
all of us will be all right.
Come in!
Well, come in!
Don't be scared.
Stand over there,
next to the others.
Come in!
Come in, come in!
Don't be shy.
Stand over there.
Good evening.
Come in.
Stand there.
That's not all of them.
We wanted eight.
Yes 'yeS=yes Ves ,yeS'
She was scared to come in.
I wasn't selected.
Never mind. Stand there.
Everything's OK.
All right. Begin!
Begin what?
OK, I'll begin. I'll help you.
Come on.
Welcome, young ladies.
On behalf of the committee,
we've selected you as the most
beautiful girls at our affair tonight.
- I'm sure you're pleased, aren't you?
- I wasn't selected.
I picked her myself.
Personally!
We'll show you
how to act on the platform.
Go on!
Well?
Girls...
Get rid of the old lady!
- Somebody ask her to dance!
- Me? Why me? Let him do it!
- Me again?
- Don't argue!
Do I have to go again?
- Do you dance?
- I'd love to, but this is so interesting!
- Go with him!
- You can't turn him down!
Now, ladies...
Stand at attention!
I know all about Miss Fireman!
You dirty old goats!
March! March!
At ease!
Ladies, the girl
who is elected Miss Fireman
will have the honour
of presenting this gift
to our former president
on his 86th birthday.
His 86th!
Go on.
Now, we rehearse
how to go on stage, right?
Ladies, you can't go
stumbling in like a herd of...
I mean, 500 people
will be looking at you.
We don't want them to feel
that we've picked a bunch of...
Know what I mean?
One step forward!
Turn right!
No, turn left! Turn left!
Good evening, good evening!
Excuse me, but I went
to get my bathing suit.
- Your what?
- My bathing suit.
You have it with you?
Hold it! What are you doing?
Let her!
- She can't undress here!
- Why not?
Wait! Wait!
Lock the door so that
nobody can come in.
Go ahead!
Did you tell her to wear it?
Miss, who told you
to wear your bathing suit?
Nobody.
Miss, who told you
to wear your bathing suit?
Why didn't you tell them all
to wear bathing suits?
We never thought of it.
Stand back a little.
Further... further... further.
Stop! OK. That's enough.
Now, strike a pose.
Another one?
Miss! Stand over there.
Now, pose like her!
- What do you think?
- The bathing suit is good.
But they should all have them!
It's another cup of tea
in those bathing suits!
Line up!
Now, rehearse. Go on!
Ladies! Attention!
Forward, march!
One... two...
Left, left!
Step lively!
Eyes front!
Smile!
One! Two! One!
Come on girls, get going!
Let's go! Nicely now!
Nice and happy.
Smile!
Now, throw kisses!
Let's have some kisses, damn it!
Come on, girls, damn it.
You know how to do it.
Nice and happy! Now more!
Wait! Wait!
Get dressed! Quickly!
Fall in! Fall in!
Hurry, hurry, hurry!
Come on! What's taking so long?
Come on! Quick!
- Come in!
- Come in!
What's going on in there?
- Where's the mother?
- Zemanek's got her now.
You damned fool!
You damned fool!
What did I do now?
It's always me!
Here at last
is the long awaited event.
We selected Miss Fireman!
Our winner
will present a beautiful gift
to our former president.
I ask the candidates
to come forward to the platform.
Music!
I'll tell you when.
Just don't go away!
Will the comrade candidates
please come forward now.
Where are the girls?
- I don't know.
- Where are they?
Well, we're waiting!
Rfiiena!
Come on, girls!
Come up to the platform!
Applaud, Mother!
It's too soon for applause
the contest hasn't started yet!
Go on. Applaud!
You'll bow later!
Come up here, don't dawdle!
NOT yet!
NOT yet!
NOT yet!
- Now! Go on!
- Damn it!
Well, we're waiting!
Come up, will you!
Music!
Keep going! Go on!
Go on!
Go on up there!
Music, what's the matter?
- The same thing?
- Of course!
L~\ \ \ \ I \\ !
Bartoov, I see you!
Miss!
Ladies!
I wasn't chosen!
I wasn't chosen!
No matter! Come on!
Rfiiena!
Rfiiena, come back!
Rfiiena, come back!
No you don't!
We want the beauty queen!
We want the beauty queen!
- Come out of there! Come out of there!
- Are you crazy?
Calm down!
- Be quiet!
- Why don't they go out there?
Quiet, please!
Stop! Stop the music!
Quiet, please!
A fire!
A fire!
Pay up before you g0!
What did you have?
And what did you have?
Back! Back! Back!
Back! Back!
- No! I don't want to go outside!
- Don't be afraid!
My things are in there!
Everybody out!
Someone here, hold him!
- Hold him!
- Make some room!
Wait there, grandpa, wait!
- Bill, please! What did you have?
- A lemonade.
Let me smell!
Seventy cents. Next, please!
Don't make him stand up!
Sit down, grandpa!
Slowly! Slowly!
Move over, madam!
I'm hiding his house from him.
Are you going to let him watch?
Turn him around at least!
Turn around, grandpa!
Sit down, grandpa.
Sit down. Slowly!
He's still looking.
It's his house that's burning.
Aren't you cold, grandpa?
Put him close to the fire.
Get up, grandpa!
Let's go a bit closer.
Damn it, man, it's really hot here!
Sit down then, grandpa!
You won't be cold here.
Don't look! What's the use?
I'm borrowing your table, grandpa.
Forget the fire, girls!
Work!
Put the beer there! Now, the glasses!
Give me that brandy!
There's no bottle opener.
Bottle opener!
Wait your turn!
We'll get around to everybody.
Waiter, two beers please!
Join the queue!
Join the queue!
A drink'll warm you up, grandpa.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses.
As we forgive those
who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
- Give me your helmet!
- No, I won't!
- Give it to me!
- Why are you taking my helmet?
Wear the scarf!
It'll be cold in the morning.
- I'll look like an old woman!
- Well, you're an old man!
An old man and an old woman:
there's a difference, isn't there?
- Yeah, but you're an old man!
- Keep it on! It's freezing!
And you're sweating.
You'll get sick. You keep it!
- Button up!
- Thank you! Thank you!
Make sure they come to
relieve me in the morning.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Make sure nothing's stolen.
Thank you! Thank you very much!
Anyone else?
Thank you very much!
Thank you, you're so kind!
Put something in for the old man!
He's lost everything!
Thank you.
Papa!
Papa, come on!
He's not moving, damn it!
What's going on?
They're collecting raffle tickets
for the old man. He's lost everything.
So what?
We've got to stop them!
Why?
Because all the prizes have been stolen.
Come here, will you!
I can't let him in!
My job is to keep out anyone
who looks like a tramp.
I can't let him walk in his underwear!
Be reasonable! That's impossible!
But he's in terrible trouble.
I know that! Did I say he wasn't?
But, what's the use
of my standing here...
Well, I don't have to be here, then!
It's completely pointless!
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Grandpa, I wish to
thank on your behalf
all the people gathered here.
And you people, allow me
to donate in your name
to Mr Havelka, the proceeds of our
- Collection.
- Yes, of course, our collection.
What I mean is that
the collection itself
is the result of our...
Goodwill.
Goodwill, of course,
but also of our...
The word's on the tip of my tongue!
I can't think... Our...
Kindness?
Yes of course, kindness too.
Kindness, charity.
That's not exactly it, either.
Our comradely feeling.
That's what he means!
Of our solidarity.
That's the right word.
Allow me to offer to Mr Havelka
this moving token of our solidarity,
of our sympathy
with his tragic misfortune.
But this isn't money!
It's just bits of paper!
Of course. They're raffle tickets.
You can win
beautiful prizes with them.
I need money. That's no good to me.
I need money!
But it's the same thing!
Just a minute, we'll do the necessary.
Quiet, please!
Your attention, please!
I must report an unfortunate incident.
I don't want to dwell on this and I
don't want to turn this into a scandal.
Several of the raffle prizes
have disappeared.
And we can't draw lots.
So we'll put the lights out
and in the darkness
those who took the prizes
will put them back.
No, no!
Not yet!
I'm still talking. Lights, please!
Not yet! Turn the lights back on!
There seems to be some
misunderstanding!
There seem to be some jokers here!
I distinctly said
that those who took,
should put back,
not the other way round!
Now, let's try again!
Lights out!
Put something under his head.
Careful, careful, boys! Be careful!
A bit more... a bit more...
Wait! Lift him! Lift him!
- There, now! Calm down.
- Good. Well done, boys!
- You old goat, you idiot!
- Leave him alone!
Why did you have to put it back?
Why did that idiot
try to put it back?
He shouldn't have put it back!
It's going to be such a scandal
that he put it back!
Now, they'll think
we're the ones who stole!
Don't get worked up.
Let him rest awhile.
What do you mean, rest? He's an idiot,
he shouldn't have put it back!
OK, he shouldn't have put it back,
but he put it back. We'll work it out!
- Let him rest, that's all!
- How are we going to work this out?
We'll just have to work it out!
But not like this, I'm guessing?
- You're not going to solve the scandal!
- What scandal?
It's a disgrace for the whole brigade!
- Don't argue!
- It's hopeless!
Stop arguing!
I'll tell you something.
If you were in his position
as an honest man
you too would have put it back!
I would never have put it back!
You remember that!
The prestige of the brigade
is more important than my honesty!
Our reputation depends on
how we're going to settle
this raffle business.
Settle what? It's obvious, isn't it?
To you everything's always obvious!
The prizes were stolen.
That much is obvious.
Boys, let's face the facts.
Those who stole the prizes
don't expect to win them.
Don't talk like that, Josef!
What about the ticketholders
who didn't steal anything?
That's their problem!
They should have stolen too!
Whoever didn't steal anything
is out of luck!
Wait! Don't joke about this, please.
This is about something else.
How about those who stole
without buying any tickets?
They're really crooks!
That's not really possible, is it?
We can check.
How are you going to find out?
You can't!
Wait, boys!
We have to assume that every one of us
has bought a ticket.
A crook without a ticket?
That's too much.
Well, at least
we know where we stand.
Well then, let's try
to get out of this...
The people are waiting.
What do we tell them?
You want to explain everything!
What are you going to tell them?
Just like Jesus Christ!
Always explaining something
to someone...
The raffle prizes were stolen.
Everyone was at the scene.
They're all under suspicion.
So, they'd better shut up!
The fact is that
anyone might have done it.
That's not true. That's not true.
- But there's something in that.
- He's right.
It's not true.
Now, we've got to go and tell them!
Yes, but what?
That they're all suspects!
Boys, I don't know about you...
I could tell them myself
it's nothing.
But I think it's pointless.
Well, I don't know about pointless.
Look, those who did it know themselves
that if the stuff is stolen
they can't expect to win.
And they also know darn well
that they're all suspects.
They're not so stupid.
We mustn't underestimate people,
gentlemen!
That's right, mustn't underestimate!
We've got to trust them!
That's right, mustn't underestimate,
and have faith in them.
We'd be better off with five fires...
But no!
- He had to put the headcheese back...
- OK, forget about that.
Quiet!
Wait a minute!
Quiet!
Somebody go and see
what's happening out there.
Beloved President, please
excuse this unfortunate delay.
You know how it is after a fire...
Anyway, now we can be more intimate,
more sincere.
- Isn't that right, boys?
- Right.
Beloved President,
allow me to present you
with this modest gift in the name of
our brigade. Please accept this gift.
Dear friends and colleagues.
My sincerest thanks
to the fire brigade
of which I am now honorary President.
There are no words to express my joy
and gratitude
for this beautiful present
and this tribute in the twilight
years of my life.
Again, I thank you for the precious
assistance you often gave me
in the performance of my duties
and various tasks.
You have afforded me
a high distinction
by presenting me
with this valuable gift.
THE END
ANNUAL FIREMEN'S BALL
8 February. Admission 8 crowns
Music - Dancing - Raffle
Beauty Contest
Honouring a Deserving Colleague
Let's see!
Beautiful, isn't it?
It's very nice.
- It will make him happy.
- Pass it around.
It's great!
Let's see! Let's see!
It will make him happy.
Very nice,
but we should have
presented it last year,
on his 85th birthday
instead of now.
Maybe. That's true.
How could we know last year,
that he would get cancer this year?
True, but it's as if we're rushing
to give it before it's too late.
And you expect him to be happy?
But we're the only ones who know
that he's got cancer.
He doesn't know!
So he can just be happy, can't he?
How do you know he doesn't know?
Did you ask him?
How would you know?
Not us.
And certainly not the doctors.
They have no right to say.
That's the law.
You can have a huge cancer
and the doctor won't tell you a thing.
You can't trust doctors!
What's the use of telling him?
You can be half dead.
When it's the end, a man feels it.
- And they won't tell you.
- You were never dying, so be quiet.
Look, let's be logical.
If he knows, he knows
and if he doesn't know
we're not going to tell him.
Franta, you hypochondriac.
Don't you dare ask him where his
cancer hurts, or anything like that.
Don't worry about me.
I won't ask him anything.
He's playing tricks again. Vaclav!
Stop playing games!
This is no time for games!
- There was a cake here.
- What?
Put it back! It's not for me.
It's for the guests!
So what?
Mr Balcar!
Mr Balcar!
Don't bother him now.
Mr Balcar!
What? Don't bother me now!
See, what did I tell you?
I stand here. I hold the ladder.
I can't see what's behind my back.
How am I supposed to know
whether someone was there
when you were gone?
See my point?
Well, what do we do?
- That's your problem.
- Why my problem?
We're the only two here.
Just the two of us.
Well, it wasn't me!
Then who took it?
Please search me, gentlemen.
No! Sit down.
No one's blaming you.
There! Look at that!
- I saw you!
- You saw nothing.
- Don't lie to me!
- You see too much.
Don't lie to me!
That leg wasn't there!
- Of course it was.
- It stands up by itself!
- It'll fall down.
- No, it won't. Look!
You're a liar!
You could walk away!
It stands up without you.
- Yeah, yeah.
- That's how you got it. I saw!
- I saw!
- And what are you going to do...?
- Saw, saw...! Don't deny it!
- The cake was your job, not mine!
- Who stole it?
- It wasn't me!
- But you could have!
- I didn't take it! You be careful...!
I can't work like this!
You could have left.
Well, I'm not staying here with you.
- I'm going!
- Josef! What are you doing?
Where are you going?
Help!
Get me down! Get me down!
Get me down!
Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up!
I can't hang on!
I can't hang on! Do something!
Help!
Please get me down!
I'm falling!
May I, gentlemen?
Rm 90mg t0 let g0!
I'm letting g0!
Barrandov Film Studios presents
a Czechoslovak-Italian co-production
a film directed by
Milo Forman
THE FIREMEN'S BALL
Story and Screenplay,
Script Editor
Starring
Assistant Director, 2nd Cameraman,
Deputy Head of Production
Make-Up, Costumes, Art Direction
Music by
The Film Symphony Orchestra
conducted by Qtpn Koniek
Production Designer, Editing, Sound
Head of Production
Director of Photography
Directed by Milo Forman
Winner of the Klement Gottwald Prize
Made at Barrandov Film Studios
Creative Group Leaders
Processed at Prague Film Laboratories
Come on, boys,
let's get to work.
We've got a job to do.
Look at them!
Have a good look and you'll see.
- This one's for me?
- You've already got one!
That's enough!
Calm down, everybody!
Wait while I count them.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
Remember our winner
must be from round here.
The girls are from all over the world.
You're getting ahead of yourself.
We won't have as many to choose from.
We'll take... Well, let's say...
How many?
There was a brandy bottle here!
- Where?
- Here!
- And it's gone, has it?
- Can't you see? It's gone.
Are you sure?
- It was standing right there. Look!
- Did you put it there in the first place?
Of course I did!
I've been watching all the time.
It's not my fault.
There was nobody here.
- You didn't watch!
- I did!
- No, you didn't!
- Yes, I did!
Then what were you watching?
- Not here!
- Don't yell.
Am I yelling?
Am I yelling?
I simply said.
You didn't watch. The bottle is gone.
First, let's decide.
Do we select two, ten, or forty?
Eight.
- Eight?
- Eight.
But, remember! They've got to be
the most beautiful!
I understand! I understand!
So get to it!
They'll be the most beautiful girls
we've got here!
You can't see them from here!
From the balcony,
we could see their breasts!
Look, Vclav,
I've only called you here
because I had a bottle of brandy here.
Mother and I have been keeping careful
watch. And the bottle disappeared.
- I want you to see!
- So, and where is it?
That's why I called you,
to make sure nobody thinks
we're the ones who swiped it!
Listen, Josef!
Where's the headcheese?
What headcheese?
There was some headcheese here!
I remember,
there was a chocolate cake.
That's right, there was.
But no headcheese.
I'd swear to that.
You're imagining things!
Well then, where's the cake?
Wait!
The chocolate cake...
Chocolate... Mother, come here.
There was a chocolate ball here.
- What sort of ball?
- A chocolate one!
I never saw it.
You must have!
You're out of your mind!
Wait a minute!
Wasn't that a headcheese?
You're right, Vclav!
It was a headcheese!
Well, that settles that!
Well then, where's the headcheese?
Look at that one!
That's a beauty queen!
I'd like to see their legs!
Boys, we're doing things upside down.
We're looking at legs instead of faces.
She should have a face like a virgin.
A face like a picture.
They're the worst kind!
Come here. Look!
What about that one?
The one scratching her head.
What do you think?
No...
Ota!
- Write down Blanka!
- Who!
Don't ask questions! Write it down!
What are you writing there?
Blanka!
She's ugly as sin!
Never mind. Write!
She's already written down.
- Shall I leave her down, then?
- Yes, leave her there.
We've got one!
It's all set. Mother!
Don't do that to me, chaps!
Who ordered these?
Not me!
It wasn't me!
So, who was it?
It's me! Drink up!
That's my daughter over there.
He wants his Rfiiena in the list.
We'll have two girls.
Which one is she?
There. See her?
The gentlemen thank you
and said to tell you
they're not thirsty.
Good evening, young lady.
- We're members of...
- ...the contest committee.
- Wait!
- Finish what you were saying.
We'd be very happy
if you'd agree
to take part in the
Miss Fireman beauty contest.
You're very pretty.
What do you say?
Why aren't you thirsty anymore?
Wait!
What do I have to wait for?
I'm talking to you!
Take him away!
Come on, Ludvik!
What's up?
What's the matter with you?
But why us?
Not you. We chose this young lady.
Put down my Rfiiena. As a favour to me.
But Ludvik, try to understand,
she looks just like you...
Sure. She's my daughter!
That's just the trouble!
Don't laugh! Well miss, yes?
Franta!
Franta!
Come here!
Hurry UP!
Vrecka and Matjikov.
You see the beautiful girls we've got?
Now we've got three contestants.
Shut up and write!
- What's her name?
- Vrecka, Matjikov.
Ota!
Did you put Blanka down?
Cross her off!
But you yourself told me...
Don't argue! Take her name off!
Do I cross her off?
Don't cross anything out.
But she told you to!
- Well, make up your mind, damn it!
- Do as she says.
Okay, she's off!
I was watching.
- No!
- I was!
But I didn't lose it! You did!
It was her.
Ludvik, you're driving us crazy!
Stop it!
I'll stop if you put my Rfiiena down.
You surprise me, Mother.
You're so stupid!
You old fool!
They're stealing the stuff
right under your nose!
Well, then.
You watch!
Go away! Don't touch me!
Leave me alone!
Get away from there!
Don't you understand Czech?
What's going on here?
Get away from there!
I know a nice castle inn
the vineyard, brook and forest
is whispering there.
I know a nice castle inn
now it's called Paradise.
Near Kokofin, near KokoFin
I like to drink a bottle of wine.
Near Kokofin is Katefina
And Katefina knows
How to make love.
A quick barmaid,
Cleverly making her way,
Refusing everyone,
She knows what to do.
As soon as I enter,
She looks at me.
The world turns around
And it's already May.
Near Kokofin, near KokoFin
I like to drink a bottle of wine
Near Kokofin is Katefina
- And Katefina knows...
- Is that you, Cmarada?
Cmarada!
Kamzik, is that you?
Kamzik!
Young lady,
we are the contest committee
and we would like you
to be a candidate...
...in the election of Miss Fireman.
What?
Would you take part
in our competition?
- What's up, gentlemen?
- Wait! Is she your girl?
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Let us explain!
- Explain what?
- Is she your girl?
We're asking her to take part...
- Come on, explain!
- We are explaining.
- Well, explain then!
- We told you twice.
Let us explain!
- Come on! Come on! Come on!
- Let me go, damn it!
Take that you "bloody fireman",
you hooligan, you!
Franta, leave him alone!
Come on, Franta!
Hey Zindulka! Well I never! You're the
last person I would have thought of!
- But...
- Are you back from the army already?
Well, Zindulka, well I never...!
What are you doing here?
I can't find the list
with the girls' names.
Miss! Come out! Quick!
Come out!
Did you hear me?
Come out of there!
If I have to call someone,
there'll be a scandal!
Be a good girl. Come out!
Oh!
You idiot, what are you doing
with my bag?
What's in there is none
of your business!
And why have you pulled it out from
under the table, anyway?
Everybody steals,
but you've got to look!
You and your idiotic honesty!
- Vrensk.
- No, Vreck!
- She's too homely.
- We dropped her.
- Matjikov!
- Matjikov!
Yeah, Matjikov!
Write her down! Matjikov.
Yes, but we've only got one girl.
- Mark down his Rfiiena.
- OK, I'll write her down.
OK, but that's only two!
Could I please be
excused for a minute?
Now? Is it really urgent?
We were about to announce
the winner of the beauty contest.
Yes, but...
I don't want to spoil things...
You can go,
but come right back!
I'll hold on if you like...
Attention, everybody!
We ask all the candidates selected,
for our Miss Fireman contest
to gather in the room behind the bar.
I repeat: Behind the bar.
Come in!
Line up there.
Don't worry, the others are nicer.
Good evening, I'm the mother.
I've come to have a look at you.
I wanted to ask you
what this is all about.
My girl told me
something about a contest...
But I think she's only a child.
With no experience. She knows nothing.
So I came to see what's what.
It's kind of you to come to see us.
Are you satisfied?
If she wins, I'll be satisfied!
Don't worry, she'll be safe with us.
It's better to make sure.
Of course, you're the boss.
But look at us!
Are we the kind who would...
Then I'll bring her in.
Hanna, where are you?
Where have you gone? Come here, girl!
Here she is.
Skinny as a toothpick!
Is it my fault she won't eat?
Stand up straight!
She's ready now.
She's not moving.
She's not moving.
All right, you can go now.
I'm curious to see what's going on.
Don't worry! She'll be all right.
If I stay,
all of us will be all right.
Come in!
Well, come in!
Don't be scared.
Stand over there,
next to the others.
Come in!
Come in, come in!
Don't be shy.
Stand over there.
Good evening.
Come in.
Stand there.
That's not all of them.
We wanted eight.
Yes 'yeS=yes Ves ,yeS'
She was scared to come in.
I wasn't selected.
Never mind. Stand there.
Everything's OK.
All right. Begin!
Begin what?
OK, I'll begin. I'll help you.
Come on.
Welcome, young ladies.
On behalf of the committee,
we've selected you as the most
beautiful girls at our affair tonight.
- I'm sure you're pleased, aren't you?
- I wasn't selected.
I picked her myself.
Personally!
We'll show you
how to act on the platform.
Go on!
Well?
Girls...
Get rid of the old lady!
- Somebody ask her to dance!
- Me? Why me? Let him do it!
- Me again?
- Don't argue!
Do I have to go again?
- Do you dance?
- I'd love to, but this is so interesting!
- Go with him!
- You can't turn him down!
Now, ladies...
Stand at attention!
I know all about Miss Fireman!
You dirty old goats!
March! March!
At ease!
Ladies, the girl
who is elected Miss Fireman
will have the honour
of presenting this gift
to our former president
on his 86th birthday.
His 86th!
Go on.
Now, we rehearse
how to go on stage, right?
Ladies, you can't go
stumbling in like a herd of...
I mean, 500 people
will be looking at you.
We don't want them to feel
that we've picked a bunch of...
Know what I mean?
One step forward!
Turn right!
No, turn left! Turn left!
Good evening, good evening!
Excuse me, but I went
to get my bathing suit.
- Your what?
- My bathing suit.
You have it with you?
Hold it! What are you doing?
Let her!
- She can't undress here!
- Why not?
Wait! Wait!
Lock the door so that
nobody can come in.
Go ahead!
Did you tell her to wear it?
Miss, who told you
to wear your bathing suit?
Nobody.
Miss, who told you
to wear your bathing suit?
Why didn't you tell them all
to wear bathing suits?
We never thought of it.
Stand back a little.
Further... further... further.
Stop! OK. That's enough.
Now, strike a pose.
Another one?
Miss! Stand over there.
Now, pose like her!
- What do you think?
- The bathing suit is good.
But they should all have them!
It's another cup of tea
in those bathing suits!
Line up!
Now, rehearse. Go on!
Ladies! Attention!
Forward, march!
One... two...
Left, left!
Step lively!
Eyes front!
Smile!
One! Two! One!
Come on girls, get going!
Let's go! Nicely now!
Nice and happy.
Smile!
Now, throw kisses!
Let's have some kisses, damn it!
Come on, girls, damn it.
You know how to do it.
Nice and happy! Now more!
Wait! Wait!
Get dressed! Quickly!
Fall in! Fall in!
Hurry, hurry, hurry!
Come on! What's taking so long?
Come on! Quick!
- Come in!
- Come in!
What's going on in there?
- Where's the mother?
- Zemanek's got her now.
You damned fool!
You damned fool!
What did I do now?
It's always me!
Here at last
is the long awaited event.
We selected Miss Fireman!
Our winner
will present a beautiful gift
to our former president.
I ask the candidates
to come forward to the platform.
Music!
I'll tell you when.
Just don't go away!
Will the comrade candidates
please come forward now.
Where are the girls?
- I don't know.
- Where are they?
Well, we're waiting!
Rfiiena!
Come on, girls!
Come up to the platform!
Applaud, Mother!
It's too soon for applause
the contest hasn't started yet!
Go on. Applaud!
You'll bow later!
Come up here, don't dawdle!
NOT yet!
NOT yet!
NOT yet!
- Now! Go on!
- Damn it!
Well, we're waiting!
Come up, will you!
Music!
Keep going! Go on!
Go on!
Go on up there!
Music, what's the matter?
- The same thing?
- Of course!
L~\ \ \ \ I \\ !
Bartoov, I see you!
Miss!
Ladies!
I wasn't chosen!
I wasn't chosen!
No matter! Come on!
Rfiiena!
Rfiiena, come back!
Rfiiena, come back!
No you don't!
We want the beauty queen!
We want the beauty queen!
- Come out of there! Come out of there!
- Are you crazy?
Calm down!
- Be quiet!
- Why don't they go out there?
Quiet, please!
Stop! Stop the music!
Quiet, please!
A fire!
A fire!
Pay up before you g0!
What did you have?
And what did you have?
Back! Back! Back!
Back! Back!
- No! I don't want to go outside!
- Don't be afraid!
My things are in there!
Everybody out!
Someone here, hold him!
- Hold him!
- Make some room!
Wait there, grandpa, wait!
- Bill, please! What did you have?
- A lemonade.
Let me smell!
Seventy cents. Next, please!
Don't make him stand up!
Sit down, grandpa!
Slowly! Slowly!
Move over, madam!
I'm hiding his house from him.
Are you going to let him watch?
Turn him around at least!
Turn around, grandpa!
Sit down, grandpa.
Sit down. Slowly!
He's still looking.
It's his house that's burning.
Aren't you cold, grandpa?
Put him close to the fire.
Get up, grandpa!
Let's go a bit closer.
Damn it, man, it's really hot here!
Sit down then, grandpa!
You won't be cold here.
Don't look! What's the use?
I'm borrowing your table, grandpa.
Forget the fire, girls!
Work!
Put the beer there! Now, the glasses!
Give me that brandy!
There's no bottle opener.
Bottle opener!
Wait your turn!
We'll get around to everybody.
Waiter, two beers please!
Join the queue!
Join the queue!
A drink'll warm you up, grandpa.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses.
As we forgive those
who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
- Give me your helmet!
- No, I won't!
- Give it to me!
- Why are you taking my helmet?
Wear the scarf!
It'll be cold in the morning.
- I'll look like an old woman!
- Well, you're an old man!
An old man and an old woman:
there's a difference, isn't there?
- Yeah, but you're an old man!
- Keep it on! It's freezing!
And you're sweating.
You'll get sick. You keep it!
- Button up!
- Thank you! Thank you!
Make sure they come to
relieve me in the morning.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Make sure nothing's stolen.
Thank you! Thank you very much!
Anyone else?
Thank you very much!
Thank you, you're so kind!
Put something in for the old man!
He's lost everything!
Thank you.
Papa!
Papa, come on!
He's not moving, damn it!
What's going on?
They're collecting raffle tickets
for the old man. He's lost everything.
So what?
We've got to stop them!
Why?
Because all the prizes have been stolen.
Come here, will you!
I can't let him in!
My job is to keep out anyone
who looks like a tramp.
I can't let him walk in his underwear!
Be reasonable! That's impossible!
But he's in terrible trouble.
I know that! Did I say he wasn't?
But, what's the use
of my standing here...
Well, I don't have to be here, then!
It's completely pointless!
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Grandpa, I wish to
thank on your behalf
all the people gathered here.
And you people, allow me
to donate in your name
to Mr Havelka, the proceeds of our
- Collection.
- Yes, of course, our collection.
What I mean is that
the collection itself
is the result of our...
Goodwill.
Goodwill, of course,
but also of our...
The word's on the tip of my tongue!
I can't think... Our...
Kindness?
Yes of course, kindness too.
Kindness, charity.
That's not exactly it, either.
Our comradely feeling.
That's what he means!
Of our solidarity.
That's the right word.
Allow me to offer to Mr Havelka
this moving token of our solidarity,
of our sympathy
with his tragic misfortune.
But this isn't money!
It's just bits of paper!
Of course. They're raffle tickets.
You can win
beautiful prizes with them.
I need money. That's no good to me.
I need money!
But it's the same thing!
Just a minute, we'll do the necessary.
Quiet, please!
Your attention, please!
I must report an unfortunate incident.
I don't want to dwell on this and I
don't want to turn this into a scandal.
Several of the raffle prizes
have disappeared.
And we can't draw lots.
So we'll put the lights out
and in the darkness
those who took the prizes
will put them back.
No, no!
Not yet!
I'm still talking. Lights, please!
Not yet! Turn the lights back on!
There seems to be some
misunderstanding!
There seem to be some jokers here!
I distinctly said
that those who took,
should put back,
not the other way round!
Now, let's try again!
Lights out!
Put something under his head.
Careful, careful, boys! Be careful!
A bit more... a bit more...
Wait! Lift him! Lift him!
- There, now! Calm down.
- Good. Well done, boys!
- You old goat, you idiot!
- Leave him alone!
Why did you have to put it back?
Why did that idiot
try to put it back?
He shouldn't have put it back!
It's going to be such a scandal
that he put it back!
Now, they'll think
we're the ones who stole!
Don't get worked up.
Let him rest awhile.
What do you mean, rest? He's an idiot,
he shouldn't have put it back!
OK, he shouldn't have put it back,
but he put it back. We'll work it out!
- Let him rest, that's all!
- How are we going to work this out?
We'll just have to work it out!
But not like this, I'm guessing?
- You're not going to solve the scandal!
- What scandal?
It's a disgrace for the whole brigade!
- Don't argue!
- It's hopeless!
Stop arguing!
I'll tell you something.
If you were in his position
as an honest man
you too would have put it back!
I would never have put it back!
You remember that!
The prestige of the brigade
is more important than my honesty!
Our reputation depends on
how we're going to settle
this raffle business.
Settle what? It's obvious, isn't it?
To you everything's always obvious!
The prizes were stolen.
That much is obvious.
Boys, let's face the facts.
Those who stole the prizes
don't expect to win them.
Don't talk like that, Josef!
What about the ticketholders
who didn't steal anything?
That's their problem!
They should have stolen too!
Whoever didn't steal anything
is out of luck!
Wait! Don't joke about this, please.
This is about something else.
How about those who stole
without buying any tickets?
They're really crooks!
That's not really possible, is it?
We can check.
How are you going to find out?
You can't!
Wait, boys!
We have to assume that every one of us
has bought a ticket.
A crook without a ticket?
That's too much.
Well, at least
we know where we stand.
Well then, let's try
to get out of this...
The people are waiting.
What do we tell them?
You want to explain everything!
What are you going to tell them?
Just like Jesus Christ!
Always explaining something
to someone...
The raffle prizes were stolen.
Everyone was at the scene.
They're all under suspicion.
So, they'd better shut up!
The fact is that
anyone might have done it.
That's not true. That's not true.
- But there's something in that.
- He's right.
It's not true.
Now, we've got to go and tell them!
Yes, but what?
That they're all suspects!
Boys, I don't know about you...
I could tell them myself
it's nothing.
But I think it's pointless.
Well, I don't know about pointless.
Look, those who did it know themselves
that if the stuff is stolen
they can't expect to win.
And they also know darn well
that they're all suspects.
They're not so stupid.
We mustn't underestimate people,
gentlemen!
That's right, mustn't underestimate!
We've got to trust them!
That's right, mustn't underestimate,
and have faith in them.
We'd be better off with five fires...
But no!
- He had to put the headcheese back...
- OK, forget about that.
Quiet!
Wait a minute!
Quiet!
Somebody go and see
what's happening out there.
Beloved President, please
excuse this unfortunate delay.
You know how it is after a fire...
Anyway, now we can be more intimate,
more sincere.
- Isn't that right, boys?
- Right.
Beloved President,
allow me to present you
with this modest gift in the name of
our brigade. Please accept this gift.
Dear friends and colleagues.
My sincerest thanks
to the fire brigade
of which I am now honorary President.
There are no words to express my joy
and gratitude
for this beautiful present
and this tribute in the twilight
years of my life.
Again, I thank you for the precious
assistance you often gave me
in the performance of my duties
and various tasks.
You have afforded me
a high distinction
by presenting me
with this valuable gift.
THE END