The Footballest (2018) Movie Script

This is me.
Well, this is the ball.
That's me.
And that's the best
goalkeeper in the league.
They call him the Red Spider.
I've got a nickname too,
but it's not as cool.
Do you know why?
Because I'm a specialist in penalties.
In missing penalties.
That's why, instead of Paco,
they call me Pakete.
Do you want to make me nervous?
Well, you can't.
Because I'm already panic-stricken!
Pakete, Pakete, Pakete...!
Relax, Pakete.
If you miss, it's okay.
Your best friend will leave town,
the team will vanish,
you'll disappoint your parents
and everyone will laugh at you
for the rest of your loser life.
In short,
your destiny is at stake.
I'm 11 years old
and I go to a school called Soto Alto,
in a town that's famous worldwide
because nothing has ever happened...
until now.
What a star! 0 out of 5!
As you can see, the video
of my missed penalties
is gaining in popularity.
Fortunately, my friends
don't talk to me about it.
- Pakete.
- Camuas.
You're my hero.
The video of your penalties
has 100,000 hits on YouTube!
We look ridiculous, but we're famous!
- Cool, huh?
- Better than cool!
Good news, Pakete.
You're about to beat a world record
for missed penalties.
One more and you'll be
the worst shooter of all time.
- Hi, guys!
- Hi, Marilyn!
Training at five, okay? 17 hundred hours!
- Affirmative.
- Positively.
Goes without saying!
What's up, Angustias?
I dreamt about an earthquake
destroying the school,
with us inside.
Do you think that could happen?
An earthquake...
It's tough, but I have to admit
that I'm a great player. Right?
My dad says I'll soon be playing
for Madrid or Bara.
But I said to him, "Easy, Dad.
Soto Alto is depending on me."
- Gee, Toni, you're supercool!
- Yes, all the girls say so.
When you've got a minute,
I'll show you how to shoot penalties.
EVeryone in their theat-th!
You too, Francisco,
your head ith in the cloudth!
we're dithcuthing probability.
For example,
what chanth does our team haff
of being thent down to the thecond?
Depending on the gameth you looth,
on the penalteeth you mith...
there ith not much chanth of thtaying
and a lot of going down.
This is Pedro.
We call him Eight because
even though he's 11,
he looks 8.
Finally, Anita,
the head teacher's daughter,
a studying machine.
No, being a football player
doesn't suit her...
I want some contact with the ball.
Are you all right?
Be careful or there'll be Romanian boot.
What's a "Romanian boot"?
And this is Soto Alto Soccer Club.
How little time you have left...
How do we do it?
Tiki-taka-style or direct?
Direct. Two passes and finish it off.
- I totally agree.
- Okay.
But isn't tiki-taka better?
- Didn't we just say "direct"?
- Yes, but...
- We have to stick to the plan.
- But a little control too...
- Hasn't he asked her out yet?
- It doesn't look like it.
- Unless he snaps out of it...
- This will end badly.
- You talk or I will. Decide already.
- I will, but wait.
For what? For us to get old?
I have to be at 70 heartbeats,
to transmit maximum confidence.
Guys, everything's at stake
in the last three games.
Soto Alto is second-last
and won't bounce back.
We can't allow these children
to be humiliated.
- No.
- But your daughter's on the team.
Anita is very confused.
But playing's the main thing,
not winning or losing.
Nor can we let the name of our school
be denigrated by some losers.
- We're winners!
- Pride of the school!
- Soccer is comradeship! Friendship!
- And passion too, Felipe!
- Yes, passion too...
- Passion.
Soccer is violent, dirty!
It brings out the worst in human beings!
And their look! Their example!
They have tattoos, earrings
and ridiculous haircuts.
When the team is sent down,
we have to do away with it
and allocate the school's resources
to activities that are more...
didactic and beneficial.
Like what?
Like a choir!
Everyone in unison, "Yes, we can!"
Yes, we can!
Yes, we can.
Votes in favor of the choir?
And so you see that not everything
is against you, we have a surprise.
In two words: attacking midfielder.
- Gee!
- Wow!
- Wow!
- My God!
Introducing Helena.
With an Helena with an
- Can I get the number 10 on my shirt?
- Fine by me.
- And me.
- And me. I mean, me too.
- Even I think it's fine.
- I think it's...
- pertinent.
- Why didn't you come before?
My mother wouldn't let me play
until I passed everything.
I have to get all A's.
Ten is free, babe.
- My name's...
- Toni, I know.
You're Pakete, aren't you?
You saw the video, right?
No, I've lived in front of your house
since the school year began.
- Oh, yeah?
- Have you never seen me?
- Our mothers are friends.
- What a coincidence.
Come on, everyone get training!
Everyone come here!
Of course I've seen her!
I'm 11 years old, not 9!
I've seen her, I've followed her,
I've even dreamt about her.
She may play great football
and be the prettiest girl on the planet...
no, in the galaxy.
Let's get this straight.
I'm not into Helena with an "H"!
- Are you on your way home?
- Yeah, I mean, no. I mean, yeah!
Yes, I'm going home.
Have you ever been in there?
- In the Devil's House?
- Is that what they call it?
Yes. When I was little,
my brother scared me by saying
- it had ghosts and monsters.
- All I've seen is the odd cat.
- You've been inside?
- Once or twice.
I don't just like football.
I like mysteries too.
Where'd you get
your love of football from?
From my father. He's a big fan.
- Will he come and watch your games?
- No.
My parents are separated.
He lives in another city.
- And where did you get it from?
- From my mother.
She's seriously into football,
an Atltico Madrid fan.
She seems normal,
but at games she goes nuts.
- You play pretty well.
- But not like you or Toni...
- Toni thinks a lot of himself, huh?
- He's the best.
Well, until you came along.
How'd you learn to play like that?
I don't know. I go out on the field
to have fun, that's it.
I'm always thinking about how to improve,
especially at penalties.
Pakete, I've seen the video.
You know?
I think Toni made it
with his father's footage...
You'll get the next one.
- How do you know?
- I'm going to bring you luck.
- Well, this is my place.
- Oh, yeah?
- You've never seen it before?
- I've never noticed.
- It's across from your place!
- That's true!
That's strange.
Study hard, okay?
So they'll let you keep playing.
- See you tomorrow, Pakete!
- See you, Helena with an "H."
Yes, Helena's going to bring us luck.
Things will get better for Soto Alto.
- A choir?
- A choir.
They're going to swap our team
for a choir?
Only if you get sent down to second,
but since you're not...
Sure they're going down! To fourth!
Did you vote against it?
Tell me you voted against it.
Yes. Well, I abstained.
You abstained. And if an army of
cannibal zombies attacked us?
Mom, all zombies are cannibals.
- He's right about that.
- That proves my point!
What would you do? Abstain?
Let the zombies eat us alive?
- Juana, it's not the same thing.
- It's worse!
The team disappearing is a tragedy!
You've betrayed everything
you swore to defend.
I'm a cop. I enforce the law.
You should've taken out
your weapon and told them...
"The team stays and I'll shoot
anyone who doesn't like it."
- But no, he abstains!
- A choir... I don't believe it!
Well done, Dad!
Shut up.
The head teacher is right.
They're second last.
They're not bad, but...
- They're terrible!
- They're not stars...
They're abominable!
Pakete has blown three penalties.
- Five! Wanna see the video?
- We've seen it already!
You too? No!
That's what Laura says!
Football only causes pain, rivalry...!
Out of the way!
When I was little,
I thought my father was
a superhero who fought evil...
What do you think you're doing?
Stealing the car, you clown.
Bad idea.
Who are you?
I am...
Pakete's father.
Now I know he's not a superhero
fighting evil. He hands out fines.
But he's my dad.
And I love him the way he is.
Right now they're holding
the match between Soto Alto and Axia.
This game is crucial
to Soto Alto not getting relegated
to a lower division,
so I beg you to come
and cheer on Soto Alto.
Thank you very much.
Keep going!
Come on, Helena, go!
- Great!
- Go, Helena!
What did your daughter
have for breakfast? Dynamite?
Toni... Toni... Toni... Toni-goal!
Toni-goal, Toni-goal!
Antonio, I can't recall,
is your son's name Toni or Goal?
Look, the Mother Superior...
- Recover!
- Up, Marilyn!
- Open up the field!
- That's it!
- Everyone up! Up!
- Get back, defend!
- Go!
- Come on!
- Ball...
- Good, guys.
Come on!
We'll surprise them with this simple play:
Camuas kicks, Angustias and Tomeo
triangulate, Marylin looks for a gap,
Helena assists her on the sideline,
moving it back and forth or not,
controlling the ball, passing it
to Pakete, who dribbles in a tiny area
and hangs it over the six-yard box,
where Toni, unmarked,
shoots it in, scraping the post
or the top corner.
That's clear, right?
Are you training or broadcasting
an imaginary game?
- Go, go, go!
- Come on, let's go!
- Into the gap!
- Cover the back!
- Pass!
- Angustias, look at me.
- That's it.
- Good, Toni.
- Toni, to Pakete!
- Toni, here!
Great! Come on, Pakete! Let's go!
What happened?
- Is he dead?
- What's going on here?
Guys, don't bother him.
Make a space, let him breathe.
Let me through, I did a first-aid course.
Did you throw something at his head?
Why? Pakete was about to score.
Get off.
- He's asleep.
- How do you know?
Because he's snoring!
Easy, I'll take care of this.
I'm Jernimo Llorente,
President of the Intercenter League.
We have our top substitute referee,
and the only one.
Gordillo? Wherever you are,
I want you on the Soto Alto field
in under ten minutes.
It's all under control.
- Did you see that?
- I did see it.
- You'd have to be blind not to.
- Or Felipe.
It had to happen at the best moment.
Sit down. No, stop!
Here I am, Mr. Llorente. Minute and score?
Twenty into the second half, no score.
Make me proud of you.
- Drop ball!
- Excuse me, I had the ball.
I didn't see it. And the rules
are very clear. Drop ball.
You weren't here,
but the people saw it. Ask them!
A player doesn't give orders to a referee,
unless he wants a yellow card.
Is that what you want, little man?
Drop ball!
- Go, guys!
- Careful, Tomeo, one's coming.
- Marilyn.
- Toni!
- There! Helena!
- Move it!
- Toni!
- Helena, by yourself!
- Referee!
- Penalty!
Penalty! Referee!
Ref, he pushed her!
- Get it out.
- I'll get out a card on you.
Wait, wait. Get back!
- Don't stand there!
- Back to defense!
- Pass!
- Tomeo, look out!
- Tomeo, don't pass it!
- Look out!
- Simn!
-Camuas! Camuas!
- Go, get the ball.
- What's up with you? There's time!
Match over.
- There's two minutes left.
- And the penalty.
Please! Guys, guys, guys!
- Put the cuffs on me.
- Have you committed a crime?
- No, but I'm about to.
- My boy's a genius, isn't he?
Look, I'll show you.
The game was stolen!
Pakete, the goal's behind Camuas,
not Camuas himself!
We were playing great,
we were going to win.
Suddenly the ref falls asleep,
this Gordillo turns up
- and it's all a disaster.
- This team is cursed.
Cursed, maybe. A team? I have my doubts.
What if it wasn't bad luck?
What if it was all planned?
A conspiracy? By who, Gargamel?
Who wants the team to disappear the most?
- Anita's mother.
- Wasn't it weird she was there?
She's never come to any of them,
and at this one the ref falls asleep.
Welcome to CSI: Soto Alto!
We're missing something.
- Toni and Helena.
- I don't think they're involved.
I mean, they're here.
This is your home.
- What a joint.
- Come in, babe.
Your garden's cool!
What do you think of Pakete
as a footballer?
He's moving up and up.
What are you doing?
That's my mom's favorite tree!
If she sees you,
she'll ground me till 2030!
Pakete, don't obsess about it.
It doesn't matter if Toni is
the best player in the school's history.
And who cares if he gets good grades?
Who cares if he's good-looking?
- How do you know he's good-looking?
- He's good-looking.
- Do you like him?
- A lot. And he's straight up.
Besides, he's got all the consoles
in the world, a superbike,
and a 2,000-inch TV.
His dad's got a potato-chip factory,
let's not forget that!
But take all that away,
and he's a normal kid, like you.
...but better-looking.
How do I get down?
- Don't worry.
- The branch is about to break.
- How did you do this to yourself?
- Training.
- For what? Pro wrestling?
- No, football!
But I fell out of a tree.
It happens to all footballers.
Why were you up a tree?
It's easier to shoot penalties
from the ground.
It stings.
You know what? I love football,
but football doesn't like me.
What? Of course it likes you!
- It likes Toni more.
- It likes you and it likes Toni.
But Toni's better than I am,
and he's got more things...
and he's better-looking. Ow!
- If it were true, what?
- So you think so too.
- I didn't say that!
- Just about!
Why aren't you two like Toni's dad?
He always supports him!
All you do is tell me I'm bad
and laugh at the penalties I miss!
Better to laugh than to cry, no?
Stay in the store, Pakete.
What's wrong?
So you put her on the team
so as not to lose custody...
Partly, yes. Helena loves football.
And the more settled she is in this town,
the easier it'll be to stay together.
But I'm short on money.
He has better lawyers...
and now the team's going to disappear.
And if he gets custody,
he'll take her far away from here.
Helena doesn't want to go,
but I don't know what to do...
Marimar, don't get down in the dumps!
Francisco Garca Casas,
come here, ipso facto.
I'm going home to study!
Are you all right?
I don't want to go.
I'm doing all I can.
I know you don't want to go.
- I don't want you to go either.
- Convince him, please!
I'll do everything I can, but...
you may have to go.
I expected more of you, Mom.
Shorty, you've got a message.
"Date in the Devil's House at Midnight."
Who's Helena?
Helena? Well...
Nobody. Why?
You've got a date?
Don't lie. I'm your older brother.
And I love you.
Victor, I haven't got any date.
- The dwarfs got a date!
- Shut up, Mom'll hear you!
The microbe's got a date
with Helena at midnight!
Okay, I've got a date, I do!
You have to tongue-kiss her.
Look, like this...
That's disgusting!
I've got an idea.
Let's ask Mom how to kiss her!
No, please don't say anything!
Then you'll have to do something.
- What?
- Confess, shrimp.
And... action!
Hello, my name's Pakete
and I have to confess something...
Are you running away from home?
No. You're dreaming, Mom.
Oh, yes.
- What are you doing here?
- Going for a walk. You?
Stretching my legs.
- At this hour?
- Seemed like a good time.
- And in the Devil's House?
- It's a really relaxing place.
- Did Helena send you a message?
- You too?
- You thought it was a date, huh?
- Maybe you thought that.
- What a couple of suckers!
- Where are the flowers?
You have to take flowers to a date.
Sit down and don't be scared.
- Hey, Tomeo.
- What's up?
- Give me five.
- Listen, everyone.
I know I just got here,
but I need us to make a pact.
Our team is in danger.
What's wrong? My sugar's low.
I'm building a drone.
A drone? I mean, a drone?
And it burns up a lot of neurons.
If we're sent down,
Soto Alto is finished
and we'll all be in the choir singing.
Your mom's great idea.
My mother's very confused.
I'm already gargling
to look after my voice...
- We might not be the best team.
- Sometimes we don't look like a team.
Maybe, but we have to defend it.
And not give up, no matter what.
- We've got a job ahead of us.
- It'll be a secret pact,
to never tell anyone or back out.
Are you with me?
I've got offers from professional teams.
I'll have to think it over.
- Toni!
- Just kidding, babe!
As of now, nothing will split us up.
We'll always be united.
As of now, we are the Footballest.
This will be our general headquarters.
- Did you say... the Footballest?
- Footmaniacs sounds better.
- Or the Footballerians...
- I like the Footballest.
- Me too.
- The Footballest it is! Agreed?
Tomorrow we're playing Islantilla.
Are we going to win?
Y-yeah. What could go wrong?
Islantilla, the 8th wonder!
Islantilla, the 8th wonder!
Islantillos, where do we snack today?
In Hell!
- They're... Ores.
- And I haven't made out my will.
- They're garbage!
- Guys,
- play well and don't worry.
- They're noble kids,
- well raised by their dads.
- Islantilla!
Go, kids, slit their throats!
- Machete them!
- No mercy!
Little Spartans, come here!
- Islantilla! Islantilla!
- Cobra, Fast, Furious!
That guy was at the game against Axia.
That's Chacn. The coach of those savages.
Maybe they brought their
basketball players by mistake.
Do an anti-doping test on them later.
Don't smoke in the warm-up!
Did you sharpen your cleats?
Play clean, guys!
Just kidding. To the death!
We're wild, merciless
All our rivals end up battered
The ambulances gather at the gate
Islantilla doesn't fool around
- Camuas, here!
- Pass it!
- Ref!
- Come on, please!
Our opponents
- Come off with lumps
- Kill him!
'Cause clean play is for chumps
- Ref!
- And one red card from the ref
And he'll be limping off the field
A nightmare
- Islantilla
- Let me go!
Go for the shins
Now! Now! Now! Now! Now! Now!
We don't play with strategy
It gives us an allergy
- We don't kick with subtlety
- Blow the whistle!
- We prefer a broken knee
- Hey!
A nightmare
- Islantilla
- Look, look, look.
Get his ligament!
- His tibia!
- His fibula!
Now! Now! Now! Now! Now! Now!
- That was a penalty!
- That's a penalty!
- It was a penalty!
- What's wrong with him?
Hello, Basilio!
It can't be.
Exactly, I'm Pesadillo,
your sister Pili's doll.
Do you remember how much
I scared you when you were little?
I bet you thought it would end
when you grew up, right?
- Yeah?
- Yes.
You grew up,
but you know what?
So did I! And I want to play with you!
No, no, no...!
- Ref! Penalty!
- No! Not again!
Relax, guys. Don't worry.
Trust me.
Gordillo? I'm in Islantilla.
You have between 15 minutes
and a quarter of an hour to be here.
Crisis averted!
Just as well I'm here
to sort this out. Drop ball!
No way! They fouled me bigtime!
The smart aleck!
Yellow card for being a bigmouth!
- What's so funny?
- That's not a yellow card.
It's a photo of you in a swimsuit.
Here! And forget the photo
or I'll give you a red card.
The cuffs, put them on me,
I'm beside myself.
If the other referee
didn't whistle penalty,
there's no penalty. Drop ball!
- No, no! Alicia!
- Get off!
Hey, corkhead, ask the public,
the president of the league,
the Eye of Sauron
or Snow White's stepmother's mirror,
- but call a penalty!
- What did you call me?
- Corkhead. From the tree...
- Red card! You're out of here!
- You're sent off!
- That's you as a gladiator.
- Breathe, stay under 70 heartbeats.
- Off the pitch!
Ref, you're clueless, a cheat
and you look like a Pokmon!
- A Pokmon is...
- I know what a Pokmon is!
- What type of Pokmon?
- Ghost!
Oh, really? You're off too!
And with the gladiator photo
because I left the red cards
at home! Off the field!
Here! Pass it!
Here, here! Pass it!
I'm alone!
- Mine!
- Carlos, behind you!
Go for it!
- Good, Camuas!
- Okay, Camuas, great!
Good, guys!
The corner and it's over!
Hang in there! A draw is good!
If we draw this one and the next,
we're saved! The point's good!
Great! Dislocate! Dislocate!
Forget the ball! It doesn't exist!
What did we say, son? Head on the post!
Go, Tomeo! Go!
Did he whistle the end?
Ref, you're a goddamn piece of sh...!
- Crook!
- I couldn't have said it better.
What a game.
Alicia and I got carried away by passion
-and you saw what happened.
- Passion was to blame?!
They've suspended us
and we can't be on the bench
in the next game.
So, while you were showering,
we talked about someone
-to substitute us.
- Someone you know very well.
You're going to be our coach?
Why not? I know loads about football
and I never lose my cool.
- Right, Emilio?
- Sorry, Juana, I didn't understand.
- You don't have the qualifications!
- Felipe and Alicia didn't either.
- They didn't?
- They're getting them, right?
Yes, but...
What a disaster. Dad, is it legal
to coach without qualifications?
It's legal, as long
as the league doesn't find out.
If they did it'd be illegal.
Pakete, calm down.
You'll have all my support.
But snap out of it
or you'll be first on the bench!
I'm going, I need to be alone.
I think you'll do
a good job with the team.
Today we'll be training
Japanese-style: kemari.
Instead of going for goal,
we'll seek spiritual strength,
peace and harmony.
why don't we do all that
after we win the last game?
Without goals, we won't win!
If we don't win, we'll be sent down!
Then there's no team!
If there's no team, there's a choir!
And there you'll find peace and harmony.
This is my ranking of questions
without an answer.
Number three:
Why don't Felipe and Alicia
get together once and for all?
Number two:
Did Anita's mother
put the referee to sleep
in order to make our team lose?
And most important:
Is it true that Helena is into Toni?
Are you all right?
I had to do something,
and I knew for sure where to start.
We have to find out
why the refs are falling asleep.
- Isn't that a police matter?
- The police won't investigate it.
- They think it's a kids' thing...
- We have to win the last game.
Without missing penalties, if possible!
But however well we play,
if the ref's put to sleep
and Gordillo rigs the game,
- what can we do?
- Nothing. The choir awaits us.
What do you suggest?
I mean, what do you propose?
- Find out who's putting the refs to sleep!
- It's obvious: Anita's mother!
Rubbish! My mother doesn't like football,
but she'd never cheat
to get rid of the team.
If she did, she wouldn't
let you know, smarty.
We either solve this mystery
or it's goodbye team.
And if we lose the team,
we'll lose more than that.
Are you with me?
Yeah! There's no need to put
your hand in all the time!
Where do we start? I mean, what do we do?
I'll finish my surveillance drone.
- It'll come in handy.
- Yes.
- Where do the referees go to sleep?
- On the field.
And who knows everything
that happens on the field?
Radu is head janitor.
He's Romanian and mysterious.
Some say that in Romania
I was a taxi driver,
others that I was a taxidermist.
Hello, Radu.
Hello, Radu.
- We have to ask you something.
- Radu want no problems.
Did you see anyone suspicious
on the day of the Axia game?
- Radu want no trouble.
- Does Radu want a job?
- Radu want.
- If the football team disappears,
Radu has no field where Radu work.
Radu understand?
Radu saw someone go into locker room.
But Radu doesn't know who.
Did this person
enter the ref's locker room?
Maybe. Radu doesn't know.
- Was it Chacn?
- Maybe. Radu doesn't know.
Guys, Tomeo just sent me a video.
The first referee has woken up.
Gerardo, what happened exactly?
I felt dazed. I started hearing voices...
and my grandma appeared, ticking me off.
Twenty years she's been dead,
the poor woman.
As you can see, Gerardo is fine now,
but the other referee, Basilio Rubio,
is still in this hospital,
- unconscious and under observation.
- Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
I'm afraid so.
What was your relationship
with your grandmother like?
We have to find out what room he's in.
I'll do the dirty work.
- Yes?
- Hi, I'm here to see my father.
His name's Basilio Rubio.
- Are you sure you're his son?
- Sure,
we're like two peas in a pod!
And where's your mother?
My mother died, okay?
My father's all I've got.
How did your mother die?
a shark.
What kind of shark?
Great white, 24-footer.
In which sea?
Liar! There are no great whites
in the Mediterranean
due to overfishing and water pollution.
Get out of here!
Basilio, wake up.
I don't want to play with you
or the others.
Go away!
- I don't like cranberries either.
- A doctor's coming!
I don't like tea.
Or cranberry sauce.
I don't like to picnic.
It makes me sick, sick.
Go away!
Don't look at me, please!
The bag...
The bag, no...
But why me?
Where's Margarita? The doll Margarita...
Was that doctor...?
Yes, it was Chacn.
We need proof against Chacn.
My mother's shop had everything
we needed for our investigation.
See? This is Chacn's address
and this is his house.
Hey, Pakete!
Your mom's junk is fine,
but this is much cooler.
I'll show you my website.
Don't get your hopes up. She's into Toni.
- Who's into Toni?
- Selena Gmez,
the girl you broke your skull
falling out of a tree for.
Look, I'm not into Helena.
And besides, she's not into Toni.
One moment, girls.
We'll go in two groups
so we don't stand out.
Mine to the field,
yours to Chacn's house.
Good idea. How do we split up?
How did Toni get to go
with all three girls?
It doesn't matter. How do we get in?
I've got it.
So do I.
Me too.
And me.
I really do have it.
Where's he going? What's he doing?
Where's he going?
Are you crazy?
Fire and rage!
Come on, little Spartans!
Order and balance! Order and balance!
- We have to get into Chacn's office.
- I think it's that way.
I knew it!
We have to guess the code, girls.
It may be his birthday
or another important date for him.
I have to get into Chacn's head,
decipher his mind.
Toni, stop talking to yourself
and help us!
Hello. Is Mr. Chacn in?
He's not back yet.
He told us to wait for him here.
Are you from the football team?
Sure. Can we come in?
Be careful, I'm cleaning.
Wow! I mean... jeez!
Mr. Chacn is very tidy,
he has it all perfectly balanced,
so don't touch anything.
Especially that red book. Is that clear?
Clear as a bell. I mean, crystal clear.
What do we do?
- Marilyn, come on. Hurry.
- Who's there?
Get in there.
- What are you doing there, kid?
- Looking for the bathroom.
That way.
- Do you mind taking me?
- You can't go alone?
I've got a rare disease.
When I want to pee I get disoriented
and I never find the bathroom,
so I end up doing it on myself.
- It's disgusting, I know.
- Come on then.
- What are we after, exactly?
- Clues.
Aren't we looking for proof?
- Clues, proof... whatever.
- Be careful.
We can't leave any trace
that we were here.
Operation Soto Alto.
It's a video about us.
If we take it, it's not stealing, is it?
No way, on the contrary!
- I'll keep it with me.
- Don't lose it.
If there's an operation against us,
we have to find out what it is.
Relax. I've never lost
anything in my life.
We have to put a mic up there.
This will do.
And what idiot is going to get up there?
Little Spartans, enough for today!
Everyone hit the showers!
I so want to get home!
Careful, the fall could be fatal.
Get up there, Eight.
Look, this is cool.
Amazing, it's signed by Maradona.
- What do I do with the mic?
- Sing it a song.
- Virgin of Pilar says...
- Hide it up there!
- You do have it under control?
- Of course.
- No way!
- I'm going to investigate upstairs.
That's it. Danger's over.
- It's the show-off from Soto Alto!
- Thanks for everything.
These kids are everywhere!
- They're going to kill him!
- At least!
- I left the video behind!
- Rip him to shreds!
I'll go for it. You help Toni.
- To the bikes!
- What?
We didn't bring them.
- Get on!
- Where'd you get these from?
- Those are our bikes!
- Thanks for the bikes, Orcs!
We'll leave them at Mordor station!
I have once chance in my life
to kick a ball
signed by Maradona!
- Jump!
- Don't be afraid!
Or maybe a little.
Good afternoon, Mr. Chacn.
Good afternoon.
Laura called, she left a message.
Laura? I'm burning with desire to hear it.
We can't go out the front door.
What about the main window?
It won't open, it's locked. What do we do?
Break the window and find Pakete.
But how?
- Oh, my God!
- Like that.
Just as well the chandelier's intact.
It could've been worse.
- Let there be light!
- Good work, Angustias.
- We have to listen to this tape.
- Yes, when they bring the gadget.
- Here, girls.
- What's this?
- It's like voice-mail, but in junk form.
- Pakete...
get me that museum piece.
Your mom's shop is a bargain.
With all the stuff there,
I could make ten drones.
Just one would be a miracle.
Chacn's sleeping pills are like my mom's,
the strongest there are.
They could put a diplodocus to sleep.
Chacn put the refs to sleep with them,
- they're his weapons.
- No, no, no!
Take off the Axia game, it makes me sick.
- What the devil is this?
- Guys, you have to hear this.
- Hello, darling.
- Give it to me.
I just wanted to tell you that
I'm very happy at how it's all going.
Things are going just as we planned.
But my daughter Anita
mustn't know anything about it yet.
When she's older, she'll understand.
Anita, that was your mother, right?
- No.
- Who was it? An impersonator?
Yes, it's my mother,
but she's not mixed up in this.
- So why is she calling Chacn?
- And calling him darling?
I don't know! My parents are separated.
- Maybe they love each other.
- That's vile, I'm going to puke.
Your mother wants to get rid of our team
and Chacn wants us sent down, "darling."
- The enemy is in the family!
- It's all right, I'll ask her...
"Mom, are you conspiring with Chacn
to get rid of my team?
I hope not because, if it's true,
my friends will think I'm a traitor."
I'm heading too.
Being a detective is boring.
And tomorrow they're taking photos of me
for a report on good-looking footballers.
When you've got a minute,
I'll show you how to shoot penalties.
- Our team's in danger.
- Three games, everything at stake.
- We're a cursed team.
- They're horrible.
- Wake up or you're on the bench.
- Drop ball!
- He'll take her far away.
- I expected more of you, Mom.
If we lose the team,
we'll lose more things.
- Don't get your hopes up.
- I like Helena.
- She likes Toni.
- She doesn't like Toni.
- He's handsome.
- That doctor was Chacn.
- Those savages' new coach.
- Your mother wants to get rid of our team
- and Chacn wants us sent down.
- A conspiracy?
The Footballest!
The video.
- What are you doing here?
- Why are you here?
- I couldn't sleep.
- I couldn't sleep a wink!
I argued with my mother.
Come look at this.
Here it is.
This was just before
the referee fell asleep.
Now look.
- Chacn filmed him by accident.
- Gordillo was already at the field.
He knew what was going to happen.
- But he took a while to arrive.
- As a cover.
Gordillo and Chacn are the culprits.
Put it on again.
- No, it's chewing up the tape!
- Get it out!
Our only proof!
What do we do now?
Is it true that you'll leave town
if the team disbands?
- How do you know that?
- I heard your mother tell mine.
- Why didn't you say anything to me?
- I thought it was a secret.
But you're my best friend.
We can tell each other secrets, can't we?
Of course.
You're my best friend too.
Toni and I have kissed.
Oh, well...
I had no idea.
He's invited me
to go to China in the summer.
His father's setting up
another potato-chip factory there.
What an interesting country.
Why did you kiss Toni?
Do you mind?
No. Kiss who you like.
But precisely Toni?
- Are you all right?
- Fine, can't you tell?
What interest would Gordillo have
in Operation Soto Alto?
Chacn's is obvious: to save his team.
- No idea.
- What do we know about Gordillo?
Apart from being an idiot,
Gordillo is a chemistry student.
And today at 12
he has practicals in his faculty.
- How did you find that out?
- Because I'm a great hacker.
Anything else? I'm finishing my drone.
How about we take a walk
around the university?
"Narcotics and Sleeping Pills."
A bit suspicious, huh?
Hey! What are you doing there?
Delivery at the usual place,
in 20 minutes.
- Look at the time.
- Let's go.
We need a shortcut. Follow me!
Look out!
I'm hell on wheels!
- I can't take any more!
- It's like a mountain pass!
I'm staying here.
- What was that?
- I don't know.
Presenting my drone.
- He's going to deliver the drug!
- It must be Chacn!
Here you are, boss.
- Take photos!
- I am, but I can't see the driver.
- Get the license plate!
- Got it!
What are you doing? He'll see it!
The remote's not responding.
That girl looks a lot like our coach.
Yes, and her boyfriend,
the president of the league.
He's giving her... his whistle?
What do we do? Do I get out my drone?
I'd hightail it out of here
and not look back.
Good idea.
Dad, Mom, we found out
something really heavy!
- So did we.
- Super-heavy.
For a start, you entered my house
without my permission.
That's not true.
We got in, but with permission.
- A lady let us in.
- You said you were my team.
- You lied!
- No.
We said we were a team, not your team.
You stole my guys' bikes.
We borrowed them because the Ores,
your guys, were going to hit Toni.
And we left them in "left-luggage"
at the station!
You destroyed my house.
What an exaggeration!
You see? We didn't destroy his house,
only the living room.
Pakete, go to your room while
we think of the horrible punishment
- we're going to hand out to you.
- It's going to be scary.
But he conspired to put the referees
to sleep and eliminate us!
He has a video called
"Operation Soto Alto."
- It was to see how to beat you.
- There were syringes in his house!
- I'm a doctor.
- And sleeping pills.
I have insomnia.
On his messages there was one
from the head teacher.
They have a plan to get rid of
the team and start a choir.
Laura and I are going out together.
And we don't want Anita to know yet.
Bad luck. She already knows.
Fine, I'll go to my room
while you think of a horrible
and scary punishment.
Kids at this age, you know...
Who wasn't naughty?
I heard it all.
Did you really destroy his house?
It's true!
Laugh at me! Call me shorty
or microbe, I don't care!
Relax, Paco. For the first time,
you've earned my respect.
Destroying a house at age 11...
You're so cool!
You're so cool.
Leave us alone, Victor.
I'll leave you with the beast, Dad.
Sit down, Pakete.
Why did you do it?
Because if we're sent down,
the team's finished
and Helena will leave town.
So that's the story. You like Helena?
No. Besides, she kissed Toni.
You should've talked to me.
I'm a cop as well as your father.
Adults don't care about kids' stuff.
You're not a kid, you're my son
and I love you the way you are.
- But don't do anything like this again.
- But there's a conspiracy!
Never do it again!
We and the other parents convinced
Chacn not to press charges.
We do have to pay for
a ton of broken things.
Some of them really ugly.
I'm sorry.
We haven't thought of a punishment
that's scary and horrible enough,
but for now you're going to be
a substitute tomorrow.
- Not that!
- You're lucky we're letting you play.
- And Mom?
- Mom?
She's as upset as if Atltico
were relegated to the Second Division.
- That bad?
- That bad. Well, almost.
- Do you want me to talk to her?
- No, no. Are you crazy?
Tomorrow would be better, trust me.
I trust you. As a father and as a cop.
And I trust you,
as a son and a footballer.
Do you trust me as a detective?
What else have you done?
So, Gordillo makes the drug that Chacn...
- That is, the bad guy.
- ...uses to put the referees to sleep?
- Exactly.
- Will it happen again today?
- Unless we stop it.
- How?
We can't make any more mistakes.
It's a miracle they're letting us play.
We have to win somehow.
It's the Santo Angel team.
We can't beat them.
Who's telling Felipe
about Alicia and Jernimo?
I'll tell him.
Good idea.
- Felipe, can we talk?
- Of course.
Look, we saw Jernimo Llorente
giving Alicia a whistle on a park bench.
- So, Jernimo...
- "So, Jernimo and Alicia...?"
"Not yet, but snap out of it,
or they're bound to get together."
"How did I not know?"
"Because you're an idiot.
Like Pakete, letting Toni
get together with me."
"What a whack"!
Here she comes.
I've played very defensively.
- Too much so.
- I've kicked balls out of bounds.
Are you going for goal...
or not?
Here and now.
The kids are waiting for us.
We have to guide them to glory.
I feel like "El Cholo" is possessing me.
- No!
- Tell me why!
It was all set.
My father's coming to the game.
- Are you nervous?
- No.
Yes, I am! How can I not be nervous?!
- Come on over.
- Let's go!
Gather round here.
Santo Angel are waiting for us,
my little demons.
Beating them looks impossible,
but in life, as in sport,
impossible things happen.
Referees fall asleep,
kids destroy houses...
We're going to play
like a real team. United...
...and fearless!
We're Soto Alto!
And we're going to show it!
Soto Alto! Soto Alto! Soto Alto!
Let's go!
Helena! Go, honey!
- That's my daughter!
- Her?
What's all this?
It's not about us.
It's because of the referees.
Maybe we should've put them
to sleep a lot sooner.
Soto Alto! Soto Alto! Soto Alto!
Go, go! It's all great!
- Honey!
- Toni, smile! Teeth, teeth!
To the press.
- Let's go!
- Go for it, guys!
Come on!
- Go, go!
- That's it! Yes!
- Pass it!
- Look out, behind you! Run!
- Toni's by himself!
- Helena!
From here to the Champions!
- Come on, go!
- Go, go, go!
- Here, down low!
- Switch it up!
- Get in there, Angustias!
- Come on, come on!
- Get in there, David!
- Look out!
Just what I needed.
What's wrong with you, Camuas?
Stop whining like a baby.
Come on, go!
- Anita, go warm up.
- Anita who? Me?
Yes, you, Anita.
- Play it!
- Fernando!
- Up here, I'm alone!
- Angustias, look out!
Corning, David!
- Look out, Camuas!
- He's alone!
Juana, I can't go on.
Relax, you were terrific, Casillas.
I mean, Camuas.
Let's go! It's fine!
- Where's Pakete?
- Help!
- I hear voices! From in there!
- Help me!
Help me!
Pakete, are you dead?
- Are you on the Other Side?
- Help! Get me out of here!
I'm in Radu's room!
Yes, I'm here!
- There must be a spare key!
- I haven't found anything!
That's it! I'm kicking it in!
Angustias, are you crazy?
No, I'm totally crazy.
And sick of being a whiner.
Out of the way!
I've broken my tibia and fibula!
My career's over!
- Guys, what are you doing here?
- Radu!
Pakete is locked in your room!
We have to get him out!
But Radu no have keys.
Someone stole Radu's keys.
- You don't have any spares?
- No.
- Get me out of here!
- But I have Romanian key.
What's that?
Romanian key.
Let's go!
He drank it! What do we do?
You see?
He's back from the grave
and coming for me!
You eat candy and don't brush your teeth!
You're going to need fillings, Juliann.
And you know what?
I don't have anesthetics!
Well, well, well.
My instinct told me my presence
would be needed here.
Ready to go on? Drop ball!
- What do we do? Pull out?
- No way!
I didn't break a leg
to lose without even playing.
- You just sprained your ankle.
- It doesn't matter.
For once, I'm with Angustias.
If we lose, we lose.
- But not like a bunch of suckers.
- We're not giving up the ghost.
- Well said!
- Let's go for it!
Sorry, Mom.
- Why are you apologizing?
- I don't know, just in case.
Angustias is injured. You're on.
Okay. Any orders?
Go get 'em!
Go, go, go!
- Okay, you have to hold on!
- Hold on!
Come on, guys!
- Come on, guys!
- Not there, open it up!
- Helena!
- Here.
- Offside!
- Penalty, ref!
- What are you saying?
- It was offside.
- You're blind, blind!
- Offside!
It wasn't offside! Come on!
- Come on!
- Ref, you know what you are?
You're a...!
- Is that clear?
- Off the field!
- I'm sent off? God d...!
- Juana, stop. Sorry!
You're outta here!
I'll give her a card! Choose the color!
Off! Off!
Red card for everyone!
Will you leave me alone?!
I'm sticking that whistle up...!
Very well, Alicia.
The rules say that someone
has to occupy the bench
or this game... is over!
Why not you?
- You're dying to take my place.
- Hold it! Hold it!
I know the ideal person.
- No way!
- You're the head teacher.
You don't have to do anything.
Just be there.
Without a coach, the game will be
suspended and Santo Angel wins.
I want Soto Alto out
so I can start my choir.
If you act as coach, I'll forgive you
for going outwith Chacn.
- Are you blackmailing me?
- No, Mom.
I'm a girl.
Girls don't do that kind of thing.
All right. All right, all right.
- If it has to be done...
- What's she doing?
- What now?
- That's the rival team's bench.
Go, Ramn! That way!
- Open it up!
- Look to your left!
- Helena!
- Toni, here!
- Quadrangulate!
- Toni, Toni!
There it goes!
Goal! Go ahead!
- That's my daughter!
- That girl.
Yes, Radu!
My son! You're a champion!
Everybody up! Now or never!
That's it, up!
To the last breath!
Anita, pass!
Attack! One, two! One, two!
- Eight, pass it!
- Attack!
- Open it up!
- Toni!
- Referee!
- Penalty!
- Penalty!
- That was a penalty, ref!
- Penalty, ref!
- I'll take it.
- What are you talking about?
- Penalty!
Put your glasses on!
Ref, you're a goddam piece of sh...!
You're a goddamned bas...!
Off, off, off!
Dad, there's less than a minute to go.
The law can't wait, Pakete.
I've come to arrest the person guilty
of putting the referees to sleep!
Jernimo Llorente, league president.
I hope you have an explanation,
preferably a logical one.
Of course I do, but first I want to say
that it was my son and his friends
who, investigating on their own,
discovered that someone
was putting the referees to sleep
in order to profit from it.
And that someone...
is among us.
You're under arrest for
causing a public health risk,
with malice aforethought and premeditation
and other stuff
you'll be telling the judge.
- What? It's a lie!
- But you couldn't have done it
without the biggest cheat
in refereeing history.
- Rubn Gordillo!
- No, Gordillo, no.
Deny it!
It's a shame you have no proof.
It's a shame that I do.
For a start, you study chemistry.
With an honors average.
What does that prove?
That you made the drug...
for the owner of this car,
whose license plate we have
thanks to the young detectives
of Soto Alto Football Club,
and which belongs to Antonio Perna.
How much did you pay Gordillo?
- Off the field!
- You can't send me off.
Much less with a card of you as an Indian.
I demand to see those photos!
This is circumstantial.
These photos don't prove a thing.
But this does.
These are the keys
that were stolen from Radu.
He used them
to get into the referee's room
-and put the drug in his drink.
- Yes, they're Radu's keys.
I found them on the ground.
I was going to give them back.
And this is the drug.
Dad, why did you do it?
For you, Toni, my son.
So you'd stop wasting time
with these failures
and join a professional team.
- That's what you want.
- No, that's what you want.
- I always do what you want.
- That's not true.
Since the day you gave me your name.
So, you don't want to play
in a professional team?
Yes, but not yet.
Now I want to play for Soto Alto.
They're losers!
No, Dad, they're my friends. It's my team.
We're the Footballest.
Unless you're too busy,
you're coming down to the station.
- There's a minor detail left.
- What's happening with the game?
And what about the obvious foul on Pakete?
Sorry, sorry! There's no referee
and the regulation time is up. Game over.
Hold on a moment!
Jernimo has a referee license,
and he's league president
and impartial, true?
I'm a referee!
And as such, I must say...
that it was a penalty, plain as day.
- Yes!
- Take that!
Hold on. Who's taking it?
Toni! Let Toni take it!
Bust it wide open.
Pakete! Pakete! Pakete!
Pakete! Pakete! Pakete!
Pakete! Pakete!
Pakete! Pakete!
- Goal!
- Goal!
- Mom!
- Anita! Anita!
Sorry about your choir, Mom.
I'm not, Anita! I'm not!
And from now on, I promise
I'll come to all your games.
Pakete! Pakete! Pakete!
Hello, my name's Pakete
and I have something to confess.
I like Helena with an "H".
I like her a lot.
She plays great football,
she's really pretty...
and she's going to bring me luck.
Today I spoke to her for the first time
and it was the best day of my life.
- My God!
- Brave guy!
Bravo, Soto Alto!
- Go, go!
- Brave guy!
The latest news on sports.
The strange case of the sleeping
referees was solved
thanks to the players of Soto Alto,
who uncovered the conspiracy
of Antonio Perna,
the potato-chip magnate.
Soto Alto will drop the charges
against him
in exchange for being
their permanent sponsor.
- I'm so sorry...
- Why did he do it?
He wanted Toni to be what he wanted to be.
You don't want me to be
like you, do you, Dad?
I want you to be what you want to be.
And if you can do that,
I'll want to be like you.
- Did you like that?
- I couldn't have said it better.
The accomplice, referee Ruben Gordillo,
has been given 10,000 hours
of community service,
which will consist of
cleaning the Soto Alto toilets
while singing the club's anthem.
Pakete, a message.
"See you in the general HQ?".
- Your gal?
- No.
It'll be a team meeting.
Where are the others?
At home. It's very late.
Can I ask you a question?
What was your favorite moment today?
When we solved the case,
- when I scored the goal...
- Those were good too.
But my favorite moment was something else.
It was my brother, he made me.
It wasn't true what you said?
Yes, it was true. Yes.
Have you ever kissed a girl?
No. Not much.
Can I do that again?
Are you coming with me?
THE FOOTBALLES I look at you today, I know you're there
Holding on to the good times
You kept for me
- I couldn't be
- Breathe.
The wild, wounded man
Who couldn't understand
Today I'm here to tell you
That I'm the same as you
We will be superheroes
Becoming our own light
Behind the storm
The sun will shine again
Only if you wish it to
So come and we will find
The desire to see you on track again
If you want to carry on
I'll be able to find
Hearts that don't show
what they've been through
And the time to begin
Today I'm here to tell you
That I'm the same as you
We will be superheroes
Becoming our own light
Behind the storm
The sun will shine again
Only if you wish it to
I will let the light
Take us to start from scratch
With your honest ways
And to think again
Leaving fear behind
And being my hero
To the end