The Garfield Movie (2024) Movie Script



Okay, time to eat.

(phone chimes)
Let's see, open the app.
I'm gonna get
a double pepperoni pizza,
-uh, order of breadsticks and...
...well, lasagna.
-Ooh, new item alert.
Jalapeno breadstick
quick bites.
Huh. It might be nice to have
something in the salad family.
-And do I want dessert?
Ooh, I'm gonna be naughty.
Butterscotch budino.
Okay, I'm gonna have five.
(chiming rapidly)
Goes without saying...
now, please.
-APP: Mamma mia.
Eh, all right. That ought to
hold me till breakfast.
Oh, hey.
Wait, are you guys early
or am I late?
No matter. I have got
a real treat for you today.
(barking excitedly)
-No, not a treat for you.
(sighs) Okay.
-Anyway, about that treat.
Can I just say, you will not be
disappointed. (chuckles)
-It's a story about me...
-(doorbell rings)
...that no one's
ever heard before,
-featuring someone in my life...
-(door opens)'ve never met.
-(door closes)
I don't know about you,
but color me intrigued.
(drone plays fanfare)
Oh, yeah, drone delivery.
Welcome to the future.
You know, to really understand
I'm gonna have to take you back
to where it all began.
Don't want anything
to take away
from the flavor of the cheese.
-(bell dings)
And like every great story,
it all started...
...on a dark and stormy night.
(barking like thunder)
-(thunder crashing)
-(rain falling)
(distant siren wailing)
CAT: Wait here, Junior.
I'll be right back.
(soft melancholic music playing)
(thunder rumbling)

(thunder crashing)

-(dog barking viciously)
-(tires squealing in distance)
(siren whooping)
-(siren wailing)
-(motorcycle racing past)
(sniffing continues)
(soft happy music playing)
(muffled chatter)

(engine rumbling)
(engine rumbling)
(horn blaring)
When the moon hits your eye
like a big pizza pie
-That's amore
-(patrons chattering)
-That's amore
When the world seems
to shine
Like you've had
too much wine, that's amore
That's amore
Bells will ring,
and you'll sing, "Vita bella"
-(clucking like a chicken)
-Vita bell, vita bella...
-(chuckles quietly)
-WOMAN: Open wide, Jake.
Like a gay tarantella
Lucky fella
-(sighs heavily)
-When the...
Stars make you drool
just like pasta fazool
-That's amore...
Hi there, little buddy.
With a cloud at your feet,
you're in love
When you walk in a dream
But you know
You hungry, little guy?
You're not dreaming,
You want a little more?
Scusami, but you see
back in old Napoli
Whoa, you are a hungry
little guy.
That's amore...
Uh, uh...
That was a quick dinner,
Signor Jon.
You must've been
very hungry. (laughing)
-Can I bring you anything else?
-(song ends)
-JON: Uh, yes.
-(cheering, applause)
MAN (over speaker): Grazie,
grazie. Thank you very much.
JON: Some lasagna.
Lasagna for one.
Uh, yeah.
You know what, no,
uh, make it family style.
-Very good.
-To go, please, Vito.
Okay, everybody.
Huh? Where'd he go? (gasps)
-MAN: You all know this one.
-MAN: Stand up and sing.
-(rhythmic clapping)
-Join with us.
-(gasps) Oh, no.
("Tarantella Napoletana"
Oh, no. I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Pardon me. I hate this.
What? Hey.
-Oh, no.

Ugh. (gasps)
(laughs nervously)

-MARIA: (singsongy) Jon!
Takeout for Jon!
Your takeout is ready,
Signor Jon.
One famiglia style lasagna
to go.
-JON: Whoa, whoa, uh, uh...
-(chewing, purring)
MARIA: You eat alone
too much, Jon.
You should get on
the dating apps.
-No, I'm good, thanks.
-There's Bumble, Tinder,
-Gluten-Free Singles...
-Oh, really?
-Hot Sauce Passions.
-No, I could never.
And you should spend
serious money
-on premium memberships.
-(song ends)
-(patrons cheering)
(sighs heavily)
Oh, hey. (chuckles)
Well, that was
an interesting dinner...
-that you had.
Well, I guess, um,
this is where we say goodbye.
(soft melancholic music playing)
Aw, you're really cute,
but I... I can't have pets
in my apartment.
So, I'll see you around.
Go on.
-Oh, no.
No, don't cry.
Don't cry.
Oh. Uh.
No, no, no, no, no. No.
Oh, no. Oh, no. Ah, oh.
Wait, wait, wait.

You don't have a home, do you?
Scusami, but you see
Back in old Napoli,
that's amore
That's amore
-(song ends)
And that's how I adopted Jon.
("Good Life" by Jon Batiste
Ow, oh, yeah
GARFIELD: So, I moved Jon
out of his apartment
to this nice little two-bed,
two-bath in the suburbs.
As soon as he understood
the ground rules,
well, let's just say,
we were living the dream.
Uh-huh, I got the good life
(bell jingling)
GARFIELD: And once we were
settled in,
I even let Jon get a pet.
I got the good life
(Garfield slurping)
Like the lips on a honeybee
-Ooh, you taste so sweet...
GARFIELD: Odie became
my most trusted ally.
He was kind, gentle,
and most importantly,
my unpaid intern.
Doing something right
to have ended up
-Here with you
-(Odie grumbles)
I know there've been
a few bumps
-And a few hard nights
-(blowing raspberries)
I feel a little bit of love
and a little bit of time
-(Odie barking)
-The sun can't shine
If you ain't know,
I got the, got the, got the
-I got the good life
GARFIELD: Oh, yeah,
as you can see,
life here
is pretty near perfect.
Well, yeah, except for...
(music stops abruptly)
Time to go to the vet.
-(metallic creaking)
-(microphone feedback)
We're gonna need the big scale.
Does she need to announce it
to the whole office?
(wind howling)
(gasps, whimpers)
-(duck squeaking)
-(Garfield gasping)
No. Please, no.
Ow, it's so hot.
Ow, it's really hurting.
Ow, ow, ow.
(low growling)
(shredder whirring)
And that's why we should go
from Sunday to Tuesday.
Okay. Where were we?
-("Good Life" resumes)
-Ow, I got the good life...
Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey.
Good morning.
-It hit me like dynamite
-While I was healing
From the black and blue
Worry about the things
that I never had
-But I'm thankful
I feel a little bit of love
and a little bit of time
The sun can't shine,
if you ain't know
-(whirring loudly)
-I got the, got the
-The good life
I got the good life...
What? Where'd you get
that chair?
(playing "Chopsticks")
WOMAN: I think I was meant
to be here tonight
because I was meant
to meet you.
-I think we were meant to be.
-That's what I meant to say.
You had me
at the word "meant."
(kissing sounds)
(Odie sobbing)
(Jon crying)
We're gonna ride like the wind!
Faster! Harder! More insane!
Odie? Yeah, can you put
this back to normal?
There you go,
just let the pepperoni's
healing powers work its magic.
You never know
what you mean to me
-You made my life complete
You fill my heart
with the missing piece
-How can it be?
-Nah, nah, nah, nah
-I got the good, good life
-Nah, nah, nah-nah
-I got the good, good life
-Nah, nah, nah-nah-nah
-I got the good, good life
-Good life, good life
-I got the good life...
You saw nothing.
Good, good life
I got the good life
-(song ends)
-(crickets chirping)
(Garfield sighs)
Up until that moment,
my life was a perfect souffle.
(distant thunder rumbling)
GARFIELD: Little did I know
it was all about to collapse.
(gentle music playing
through headphones)
Imagine yourself drifting away
-on a sea of tranquility.
There are no pets
to bother you, distract you,
or max out your credit card
by excessively placing
online food orders.
-(stomach grumbling loudly)
-Oh, yeah, sorry.
-(grumbling continues)
Huh? What? Who said that?
Huh? Odie?
(yawns) Odie?
It's time
for our midnight snack.
-(Jon snoring)
-(Garfield yawns)
Thank you, good sir.
Your kindness will be rewarded.

-(jars rattling)
-(Garfield yawning)
What are we feeling
like tonight, huh?
French? Italian?
(yawning) Chinese?
-(stomach grumbling)
-Chinese it is.
Odie, shape everything
from the bottom two shelves
into a dumpling.
-(Odie grunting)
-(flap squeaking)
(thunder rumbling)
(thunder crashing loudly)
(deep growling)
(ominous music playing)
(thunder crashing)

Late-night snackin'.
Not good for digestion.
Odie, I'm dreaming again.
-Slap me across the face.
-(Garfield grunts)
(loud snarling)
Nope. Still dreaming.
I must be really deep
in this one.
(thunder crashing)
GARFIELD: (stammers)
What do you guys--
What do you want? Money?
I don't have any money, okay?
Who-who carries cash anymore?
I've-- I-I've got Jon's
credit card number memorized.
Did you write that down?
Expiration code is 555.
The cat is out of the bag.
(laughs, slurps)
-(Odie grunts)
-(chuckles, pants)
I really hope
this kidnapping plan works
or she'll put us down.
With her insults
and cutting observations.
(screams) I think this is
a case of mistaken identity.
You must be looking
for another gorgeous,
lovable kitty cat, right?
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, where you going?
No, no, come back, come back.
(moaning, whimpering)
-No, no. Odie?
I'll handle this.
All right, you guys!
I'm giving you
to the count of three
to get back here
and let us down.
One, two, three!
Four, five...
I am not kidding here.
-(playing sad tune)
Three hundred and nine...
three hundred and--
I can't--
Yeah, they're not coming.
It's over.
(tune ends)
-VOICE: (in distance) Psst.
(choral music playing)
-(harmonica squeals)
-Am I dead?
Are you an angel?
Please, take me.
I am ready to go
to that... (sobbing)
to that all-you-can-eat buffet
in the sky.
VOICE: What? Listen,
I'm going to swing you out,
cut your ropes and drop you
safely to that landing below.
Wait, what?
That seems a tad risky.
Is there another plan
that doesn't involve
cutting a rope
over a 40-foot drop?
-(Nolan giggling)
-VOICE: No time.
We got to get out of here
before they come back.
-(birds tweeting)
VOICE: We need to go.
Come on, Junior.
-CAT: Wait here, Junior.
-(sirens wailing)
-CAT: I'll be right back.
-(thunder crashing)
VOICE: (echoing)
I'll be right back.
(gasps) You.
(stammers) Hey, Junior.
-"Who is he?"
This is Vic. My "father."
Look, Junior, I know
how you might be upset.
Upset? Why would I be upset?
You only abandoned me
in an alley as a kitten.
I'm probably just overreacting.
-(metallic screeching)
(screeching continues)
Oh, no, not her.
Okay, follow me, Junior.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You lost the privilege
of telling me what to do
a long time ago.
-Hello, Vic.
-(Garfield gasping, screaming)
Oh, dang it.
Scare cam.
Oh, you should've
seen your faces.
(gasps) Ooh.
Okay, boys, show me.
Hello, Vic.
-(gasping, screaming)
-Oh, dang--
Post that ASAP.
What? Uh, hey, Jinx.
I haven't seen you since-- Oh.
W-Well, no hard feelings,
though, right?
Oh, I don't think so.
I'm a hugger. Oh!
Part of me wants to be mad
at her for kidnapping us,
but you got to love her energy.
(gasps) Where are my manners?
Chop-chop, gentlemen.
Look alive.
(bell dings)
Ah. Perfection.
You know, I was so delighted
that you accepted
my invitation here tonight.
Well, throwing us in a burlap
sack wasn't exactly an Evite.
Vic, you're so quiet.
Are you feline sad?
Cat got your tongue?
Would you prefer a mew-mosa?
Excuse me, uh, how do you two
know each other?
Let me handle this, Junior.
Oh, don't "Junior" me.
You may call me Garfield,
Mr. Garfield, or G-Money.
-Okay, whatever, no G-Money.
Anyway, can somebody please
tell me what is going on?
Well, we really don't
need to get into...
(shushes) I'll take this one.
(clears throat,
breathes deeply)
(solemn tune playing)
I'm from a small town
outside London
that you've probably
never heard of.
Oh, I scratched and clawed
my way through hard times
to come here with one dream.
(tires screeching)
Oh, oh...
-(lively chatter)
-(cameras clicking)

JINX: I wanted to be seen.
-I wanted to matter.
-(audience gasping)
(crickets chirping)
JINX: But I was a failure.
-ANNOUNCER: The winner!
-(crowd cheering)
JINX: And then
I met Vic and his crew.
They were outcasts, losers.
We didn't have much,
but we had each other.
We became a real family.
(scoffs) Vic and family.
I know where this is going.
Excuse me? Garcon?
Uh, when might we expect
Perhaps an amuse-bouche?
(sighs) And then one night,
we were about to make
our biggest score,
enough milk to last us
for weeks.
(gasps) Vic!
Jinx, I tried
to come back for you.
You have to know that.
Oh, yes,
you get an "A" for effort.
So, what happened next?
Imagine Alcatraz...
-but smellier.
It was cold.
And lonely.
And stinky.
So very stinky.
I can't overstate that enough.
But it gave me purpose.
I needed to get out.
I just needed help.
So, your purpose was
to escape jail
and get involved
with charities?
No. My purpose was... (purrs)
Oh, I see.
I went the other way with it.
I'm kidding.
Another cat would be
bent on revenge,
but I'm, uh...
Ooh, how would you put it?
Evolved, compassionate and
incredibly self-actualized.
Bingo. (laughs)
I had such trouble finding him,
and when I discovered
you were his son,
I had no choice but
to kidnap you to lure him here.
No, listen, I totally get it.
It's-it's all--
It's all part of being
associated with Vic.
So, what do you need from him
to make this right?
I simply want him to pay back
the quart of milk
I lost that night,
and we'll call it even.
I can do that.
What he can't do
is raise a child.
-Just one quart.
-Just one quart.
For every day
I was in the pound.
-What, now?
-Nice twist. Well played.
Uh, how long were you
in the pound again?
Four years, seven months
and two days.
Oh! That long?
All right, I'm gonna do
the math here in my brain.
Uh, the way you do that is...
1,675 quarts of milk.
Exactly right, Odie.
We both came up with it
at the exact same time.
Where am I gonna find
that much milk?
Well, I suggest you go back
to the place
you double-crossed me.
Lactose Farms.
Wow. Well, good luck, Vic.
(chuckles) I'll leave you two
to work out the fine print.
We'll just see ourselves out.
Ah, no.
You're all going to do this.
What? Wait, why me?
He's the one who abandoned you.
Yes, but this is
more than a one-cat job.
Yeah, but I'm sure
Vic has a whole crew
of low-life cat burglars
he could ask.
Oh, I'm sure he does, but if
I'm being completely honest,
seeing how miserable
you make one another
brings me endless satisfaction.
Oh, well, thank you
for your honesty.
And if I don't go?
You can stay and have a
playdate with Roland and Nolan.
Okay, boys... (gasps) go play.
Ma'am, I think
this is an opportunity
to take a deep,
cleansing breath
and repeat
your anger management mantra.
(clears throat) Anyone else
have any objections?
(gulps) Nope, I'm good.
Thanks for the opportunity.
Now, you boys have 72 hours.
-(exhales sharply)
-(glass shatters)
Or else.
I-I can't believe
this is happening.
I don't see you for years,
and when I do,
you pull me
into a life of crime.
I had this reunion playing
differently in my head, too.
Well, that's the difference
between us,
because I never wanted
to see you again.
Now, I-I totally understand
your anger.
But if you give me
a chance to explain,
you'll see I am not
the bad guy you think I am.
A good guy doesn't leave
his kid in an alley.
-It wasn't like that.
-It was exactly like that!
No, it wasn't.
Let me tell you what,
-No, no. Ah!
I don't want to hear it.
This whole thing with Jinx?
This is your mess, not mine.
Come on, Odie.
Can't let you do that.
We'll be watching you.
Like a hawk.
(hawk screeches in distance)
(Garfield yelps)
(groans) Is today a Monday?
'Cause it feels
an awful lot like a Monday.
It's Thursday.
Not to me it's not.
Look, I know this isn't ideal,
but we have to do this.
So let's just try and make
the best of our time together.
Our time together?
What are you talking about?
Once we get this milk,
I want you out of my life.
All right, just relax.
Lactose Farms ain't nothing
but a sleepy little
mom-and-pop dairy.
This will be
a quick grab and go.
You'll be back home
before you know it.
So how do we even get
to Lactose Farms?
It's way out in the country.
You ever jumped a train?
I've never jumped.
Look, if jumping a train
is too hard, just say it.
-(scoffs) How hard could it be?
(laughs) This is gonna be fun.
(birds chirping)
JON: (yawns) Garfield?
Garfield, how many times
have I told you
to close the refrigerator door?
Wait, there's food
on the floor.
(gasps) He's never
left food on the floor.
-(door creaks)
Garfield? Garfield? Garfield?
-(train horn blowing)
-(Garfield grunting)
Our best shot at jumping
on the train is here.
Hold on a sec. I'm just
taking in the wind speed,
the direction of the sun
and various angles.
Yes, I say we jump the train
from right here.
Didn't I just say that?
I've seen it on television
a million times.
We'll need a hundred feet
of rope.
Uh-huh, rope. Yeah, okay, great.
Uh-huh. Yep.
We'll throw the rope
-over that branch right there.
-Branch. Uh-huh. Got it.
GARFIELD: Can you follow me?
All right?
And then, timing it just right,
we swing over
as the train passes by
and land on top of the car.
-VIC: Or...
-we can do this.
VIC: Odie, jump, boy.
(meowing, whacking)
Part of me wants to help him.
No. This is how he learns.
(gasps, screams)
I don't know.
It's kind of pricey.
-How does it handle?
-(Garfield screaming)
Whoa! I'll take it!
See? I told you
this was gonna be fun.
(hoarsely) You and I have
different definitions of fun.
Oh, finally. Hello!
You've reached Find My Pet.
If your pet is lost,
we're here to help.
Mm-hmm. Hi, yes. Great.
Okay, uh, my orange tabby
and my dog are both missing,
and I-I need your help.
Please listen carefully,
as our menu options
have changed.
-If you'd like to hear
this call in Spanish...
(speaking Spanish)
-For Pig Latin,
-ess-pray even-say.
- Come on.
For gibberish...
(speaks gibberish)
What do I press to talk
to a real person?
is very important to us.
- There are...
-DEEP VOICE: 1,346
(in normal voice)
...people ahead of you.
Wha-- What?
Garfield, where are you?
(train horn blowing)
Okay, Vic, you got
to figure this out.
(sighs) Jinx can't be trusted,
and you got to keep
Junior safe.
You just got to figure out
a way to get him out of this.
GARFIELD: (clears throat)
Ah. Tell me, is it a burr?
It hurts.
Ah, you pulled my hair.
-Ow, ow, ow.
GARFIELD: Is that--
Is it a bug?
A bug? (screams)
-Ow. Ow. Owie. Ow.
GARFIELD: Odie, Odie.
(sighs) Okay. Ah.
You know what, Junior?
This is gonna be good for you.
-What'll be good for me?
-What we're doing.
We're about to steal
a truck full of milk
from a dairy to pay back
a deranged cat.
What part of that is
going to be good for me?
All of it.
You can't even imagine
the life lessons
you're gonna learn.
-Oh, yeah. Name one.
-Well, for starters,
you already know
how to get on a moving train.
(clears throat)
I found it funny.
All I'm saying is that
to break into a dairy,
it's gonna take a few skills
I'm guessing a rounded,
mush-filled, overly-pampered
indoor cat like you
doesn't have.
So, we need to toughen you up.
Toughen me up?
Hey, I know tough, Vic.
You've obviously never been
in an Olive Garden
that's run out of breadsticks.
Anyway, I'm never gonna need
those skills
-you're talking about.
-But you'll have them.
I'm never gonna
break into a dairy
or anything else, ever again.
You are missing the point.
You're going to learn
to improvise,
think on your feet,
develop moves
that'll come in handy out there
in the real world.
I wouldn't be in the real world
if it wasn't for you.
True. You'd still be hanging
upside down in the mall.
No. I would be asleep at home.
Missing out on life altogether.
Look, I'm just a dad trying
to teach his son some skills.
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
You can't make up for
five years of not being around.
-Ah, yes, I can.
-No, you can't.
-I think I can.
-In fact, you can't.
-Yes, I can.
-You really can't.
With your attitude, I can.
Ah! Okay, whatever, "Dad."
-Wow. Great lesson. Ugh!
GARFIELD: I'm done
talking to you.
You do not know me.
You don't know
the first thing about me.
I am not pampered.
I'm not anything
you think I am.
Okay. I'm just gonna say
that blanket is not
the best idea.
Ah, fantastic, thank you.
I'll take it from here.
(Garfield gasping)
Get them off, get them off!
Ah! Get them off me!
Wait, what are you doing?
(gasps, sputters)
-What did you do?
-Cedar chips.
Spiders hate them.
Another life skill learned.
I-I-I, uh...
I think the words
you're looking for are...
"Thank you, Pops."
No, the word
I'm looking for is...
Oh! Here's our stop.
Really? Where?
(yelps, screams)
Ooh, Odie, you'd think
he'd see that coming.
(howls excitedly)
(excited chatter)
(upbeat carnival music playing)
(horse whinnying)
(kids cheering)
-Here you go.
(excited chatter)

Quaint. Just a simple
little grab and go?
Okay, okay, so they've done
a few upgrades
since I was last here.
Stop being so dramatic.
All we have to do
is climb the fence...
-(loud buzzing)
-(screams) Yow!
(disoriented mumbling)
(gasps) Wait, is that Otto?
-Otto, of "Otto and Ethel."
Uh, no clue
who you're talking about.
He's one of the mascots
of Lactose Farms.
See? On the side of the barn?
I'll bet he knows
how to get into that place.
Leave him alone.
Seems to be in a period
of meditation or depression.
Yes, he does. Hmm.
This calls for tact,
sensitivity and diplomacy.
Oh, yeah? And where are we
supposed to get that?
I have it. In spades.
Maybe you'll learn something.
(knuckles crack)
Excuse me.
You're Otto, right?
(clears throat) I'm Garfield.
A pleasure.
-Go away.
-I just wanted to say
I am a huge fan.
I have eaten everything
that has a picture
of your face on it.
I'm not that guy anymore.
I even loved
that recalled provolone
-from a few years back.
-Junior, no.
Yeah. Anyways,
here's the thing.
Me and my crew back there,
we're in a bit of a bind.
Got ourselves in a situation.
Long story short,
we could use your help.
You're a fan, huh?
(laughs) Oh, yes.
Then sing the jingle.
Well, I don't really sing
on command.
I'm not a circus animal.
Sing it.
Really? (chuckles)
-Sing it.
-(clears throat)
Lactose Farms
Lactose Farms
(clears throat)
We've got milks
Butters, creams
and cheeses
-More spirit.
-Much as you want
-As much as it pleases
Come and take a look
and see what we got
'Cause what we got
is a whole lotta lot
(laughs, scatting)
Tasty goodness is our motto
Brought to you
by Ethel and Otto...
What was that for?
I hate that jingle.
You could've just
told me to stop.
(soft, melancholy music playing)
FARMER: Let's go.
Kids are waiting.
(Odie whimpers)
Odie, come back.
Leave him alone.
He might punch you.
Was that... Ethel?
(Odie whimpering, mumbling)
A few years back,
Old Man Lactose was forced
out of business.
The corporation that took over
separated me from my Ethel.
-(door slams)
-OTTO: Ethel!
ETHEL: You are my day!
OTTO: You are my night!
I was put out to pasture.
OTTO: She was put on display
as part of the tour.
I tried to get in there
to break Ethel free,
but they stop me every time.
Now I only see her
six seconds, twice a day.
We-we feel you, Otto.
Come on, let's go, Junior.
Uh, we'll find another way
to break in there.
Wh-What could you possibly want
from that place?
Oh, you know,
a couple quarts of milk.
A couple thousand quarts.
Hmm. Good luck.
VIC: W-We'll take any
helpful hints you have.
-VIC: I-I'm telling you,
it's a life-or-death situation.
OTTO: Then I hope you've
notified your next of kin.
-What if we can get Ethel out?
Or get you a commemorative pin?
Where are we gonna find
a commemorative pin?
Now, pay attention.
Here's the perimeter
of the plant.
And here are the two places
you need to go.
First, the truck with your milk
is back here.
And this delicate buttercup
is my Ethel.
My North Star
and reason for living
is being kept by
those barbarians in...
a petting zoo.
Located here.
This cricket represents
the electrical room,
this snail,
the refrigeration room.
This toadstool
is the loading dock
where you'll find the keys
to the trucks.
Wait, what's the pine cone?
The pine cone is
the cheese and butter room.
Ooh, cheese is
my love language.
Now, for this briefing,
I've done a quick reading
of your personalities
and have chosen tokens
to represent each of you.
-You are the majestic bullfrog.
Oh, yeah, that feels right.
OTTO: You are the curious
and clever chipmunk.
-And you...
-Wait for it.
OTTO: ...are roadkill.
Huh? What? Oh. (laughing)
No, I get it.
That's a good one, Otto.
Giving your new
best friend roadkill.
Seriously, though,
wh-what's my real token?
That is your real token.
Now, if you have
any chance of succeeding...
Wait, can I, uh-- Excuse me.
Can I switch
to something living?
Like, like the snail
or the cricket?
You should've spoken up sooner.
At this point, it would be
too confusing to switch.
Sooner? But you just told me
this five seconds ago.
Come on, Roadkill, focus.
Oh, really? You give Vic
the majestic bullfrog.
You give Odie the curious
and clever chipmunk.
And then you give me,
your new BFF, roadkill?
I mean, it feels disrespectful,
not gonna lie.
What makes you think he's dead?
My eyes.
I have eyes and can see.
It's a possum. They're masters
at playing dead.
Well, then,
little Daniel Day-Possum here
should do
Shakespeare in the Park.
Things aren't always
what they seem.
You're right.
But in this case, they are.
What's the big deal?
Possums play dead.
Oh, do they, Otto?
Do they play dead?
Do possums play possum?
Is that what they do?
Yes. Possums are very clever.
Yeah, I'm sure he was until
the day he ate a pickup truck.
Uh, just ignore him.
Please, continue.
I'll just put this back
where you had it, mm-hmm.
The straightest line
to the loading dock
is through the snail here,
then the cricket there,
cut through the toadstool
and onto the rock.
Each of these rooms have their
own set of unique challenges.
Well, why can't we just go
straight through the pine cone?
You don't want to go
through the pine cone.
Looks like the straightest shot
is through the pine cone.
You like walking
with those feet, do you?
You a fan of
unimaginable pain and misery?
Then go through the pine cone.
Stay away from the pine cone.
(clicks tongue) Got it.
Once you're inside
the facility...
("Mission: Impossible Theme"
OTTO: will enter
the electrical room.
There you will locate
the air vent.
Pop the grate and climb up.
Then you'll crawl through
a maze of vents
and drop down...
to the refrigeration room.
Next, you will need to hurl
your body over a 30-foot drop
to a series of hand rungs.
You'll propel yourselves
hand over hand
and drop down
directly into a loading dock.
From there, you'll locate
the keys to the milk truck.
Drive that truck to the
west pasture of the complex,
cut the lock on the gate,
and find the closest thing
we have
to an angel here on earth.
You'll escort my sweet Ethel
onto the truck
and drive her to freedom.
(music ends)
It's going to take mad skills
to get that milk
and free my dear, sweet Ethel.
Clearly, this one is qualified
for the mission.
But I have some serious doubts
here about all of... this.
He's pointing to you,
Let's get to work.
(Garfield sighs)
Stupid roadkill.
Hey! I'm working here!
Ugh, definitely a Monday.
is fairly important to us.
If you've lost a cat,
please press one.
If your cat is orange,
please press two.
This doesn't really
accomplish anything
but gives you the false sense
that we're engaged with you.
OTTO: All right, gentlemen,
I've made a list of skills...
that you'll need to master
in order to break into
Lactose Farms.
Number one, develop
lightning-fast reflexes.
You tell Garfield
there's a plate of pasta
on the other side of that wall,
and you will see
lightning reflexes.
Yeah, no, no, no.
Depends what kind of pasta.
This pebble represents
danger you may encounter.
You need to grab it
before it grabs you.
(scoffs) It grabs me.
Snatch the pebble from my hand.
Too slow!
Ow. What was that for?
Being able to grab the pebble
could be the difference
between life and death.
All right,
let me try that again.
(grunts) Ha! Got it!
Ah! Now, what was that for?!
It's never just
about the pebble.
Come on, Junior,
everyone knows that.
Your head's got to be
on a swivel at all times.
You got to be ready
for anything.
I was ready.
He changed the game.
Sounds like
someone's making excuses.
And what was that about
being ready for anything?
You were distracting me!
Might I suggest putting
your head on a swivel?
You should have
seen that coming.
Toes on the line.
Guard your grill.
Cover your stomach.
There are surprises around
every corner at Lactose Farms.
You need to stay alert.
Too slow.
A baby could have
seen that coming.
-Too slow. Too slow.
-(blows landing)
-OTTO: Too slow!
You'll never make it
through Lactose Farms
if you can't survive
this training.
-Are you for real?
-Wh-What kind of dairy is this?
The kind of dairy that
requires teamwork to survive.
Danger could be anywhere,
You've got to be ready
to outrun it.
-(train horn blowing)
-Here comes the pain.
-Left, right, left, right.
-You're confusing me.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
(bees buzzing)
(crunching, groaning)
I think I'm gonna need rehab.
If this is going to work,
these two have to be
on the same page.
I'm out of ideas.
You got any?
Can't believe I'm out
in the middle of nowhere,
getting beaten up
against my will
by a former celebrity steer.
Will you tell my son
to please stop whining?
Odie, can you tell Vic that
I collapsed on this tree first
and that he needs
to find another one?
Odie, can you tell my son that
I will gladly find another one
when I get the feeling
back in my legs?
Odie, can you tell my father
that he wouldn't be
lying in pain
if he led a better life
and didn't create problems
for himself?
Could you please inform my son
that he should focus on
fixing his own issues?
Odie? What?
-Odie? What'd you do?
After all
I've let you do for me.
Hmm. What is this?
-Hey, watch it!
(both grunt)
What's the problem, Vic?
Is this bothering you?
(straining) No.
In fact,
I don't mind it at all.
I don't mind it, either.
-(both grunting)
I could watch this all day.
-Stop pulling.
-I'm not. You're pulling.
If I was pulling,
you would know it.
Why does everything you do
always end up hurting me?
Hurt you?
All I ever did was
try to help you.
Oh, you sure? 'Cause
every time you're around,
it ends up with me
in pain. Ow!
Odie, these ropes are
not funny anymore. Ow!
(panting) Maybe if you were a
little more open to seeing me,
things might be
better between us.
Oh, you do remember
you were the one
who left me in an alley, right?
You don't know
what you're talking about.
Then please enlighten me.
(stammers, sighs)
This is about to get real.
Oh, that's right,
you're normally never around
to actually defend yourself.
No back door
to slink out of this time.
First you abandon me,
then years later, you pull me
into a life of crime.
Well, classic "Father
of the Year" stuff, "Dad."
You know,
why would I ever think that
seeing you could be anything
other than a train wreck?
I did not leave you
in that alley!
Oh, you did. You told me
you'd come right back.
-You never did.
That is not what happened.
Oh, please.
You were probably on the run
from someone like Jinx,
and I was in the way.
No, that... (sighs)
that night...
(horn honks in distance)
VIC: That night was different.
(soft, melancholy music playing)
(thunder rumbling)
(stomach grumbling)
(gasps, sighs)
(indistinct chatter)
(siren blaring in distance)
-WOMAN: Hey! Shoo, shoo!
WOMAN: Get out of here!
(barking in distance)
(door opens)

Wait here, Junior.
I'll be right back.
MAN: Oh, hey, get out of here!
Hey, how you doing? Yeah, yeah.
Ah, I had to shoo a cat.
Yeah, yeah.
Digging in the trash. Yeah.
So what you up to now, huh?
Still taking it easy?
Uh-huh. Yeah.
-(thunder crashes)
-Oh, no, you're kidding.
(chuckles) Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's been raining here
for a while now.
Yeah, yeah.
-Yeah. I'll see you then.
Okay, bye.

(muffled shriek)
-(rhythmic clapping)
-(lively shouting)

I... I never knew.
I know. How could you?
Why didn't you ever
come visit me?
I did. (sighs)
(scoffs) A million times, I...
came to knock on your door,
and I'd see what a great life
you had with Jon,
so I just...
thought it was better
if I kept my distance.
I sense a positive breakthrough
in your relationship.
Am I wrong?
After an extensive evaluation,
I have concluded
that you two are, in fact,
ready to move forward
with this mission.
VIC: We are?
GARFIELD: How is that
even possible?
-(scissors clipping)
-Mathematically, it isn't.
But given your present levels
of incompetence
and overall lack
of basic skills...
...I have determined
it would take roughly...
17 years to get you both
properly ready for this job.
And since we have...
less than 48 hours,
you've passed.
ODIE: Mm-hmm. Hmm.
(chuckles, squeals)
(birds chirping)
(Jinx humming "Alouette")
Alouette, gentille alouette
Alouette, je te plumerai
Je te plumerai la tete,
je te plumerai la tete
Et la tete, et la tete
Alouette, alouette.

(laughing maniacally)
-(Roland clears throat)
She's really losing it.
Yes, what is it?
They're ready to rob the dairy.
Oh, everything is
going to plan.
Now it's time to make a call.
Excuse me. You keep that thing
in your folds?
That is so disgusting.
You, you dial the number
and put me on speaker.
-(phone beeping)
-(line rings)
-Lactose Farms?
-How may I help you?
It's come to my attention
that there'll be an attempt
to rob one of your
dairy trucks tomorrow.
It's not important who I am
or how I came to know this.
Just think of me
as a concerned citizen
intent on fulfilling
my civic responsibility,
as well as...
(meowing over speaker)
Uh, Chief?
(overlapping chatter
on surveillance)
We may have a situation.
Well, okay, then.
Let's go have a look-see.
(meowing continues)
This is the third time
they've called.
It just sounds like
some cat prank calling us.
If it were a dog barking,
I'd be on board for a prank.
Them dogs are born
for mischief. They just are.
-Not cats.
Oh, no.
Cats mean business.

(electronic bark)
(electronic meow)
(meowing over speaker
there will be an attempt
to make off with one of
your milk trucks tomorrow.
I suggest you take
appropriate measures
to prevent this brazen thievery
from occurring.
Okay, I'm done.
Hang up the phone.
Ha ha.
What an evil genius I am.
(line beeps)
Well, then, still seem like
a prank to you?
Eh, that last part
did a little.
What's our next move, Chief?
Our next move is for me
to go back to my office
and formulate
an ingenious plan.
And you go get my car waxed.
Well, well, well,
would you look at that,
Margie Malone.
We're having
company tomorrow.
I guess I better take out
my finest china
to serve
a heaping plate...
of justice.
(lively chatter
in distance)
What are those for?
For us to communicate
once you're inside
the belly of the beast.
-Uh... 'kay.
Don't we need something
more like radio headsets?
(sighs) Indoor cat.
These are better.
It just feels like Bluetooth
would be better.
These are better
than Bluetooth.
These-these are better
than Bluetooth?
They're equal.
And I don't have to pay
for the brand.
(static hums)
-Hmm. Hmm?
-(static hums)
Gold Eagle to Chipmunk.
-Do you copy?
-(barks) Mm-hmm.
Of course you can hear him.
He's standing
three feet away from you.
Oh, I see you sprung
for the binoculars.
Now, we just need to find...
a way in.
A-Anyone ever told you
that you take a lot of
dramatic pauses
when you speak?
(lively chatter)
(brakes squeal)
Hey, wait up!
Look at that.
OTTO: Bingo.
-(horn honks)
-Hello, everyone!
And welcome to
the one and only
Lactose Farms!
If you will all
gather around me,
we'll begin our tour
and head into
the heart of the farm.
I know you're here.
I can feel it.
Show yourself. (scoffs)
TRACY (over speaker):
Today, you will discover
the answers to
all of your dairy questions,
including the most asked
dairy question of all time:
are curds the whey?
OTTO (over acorn):
Bullfrog, Chipmunk,
Roadkill, do you copy?
Are you kidding me?
They actually work?
You should take this
to "Shark Tank."
OTTO: Now, remember,
the only way
to get the keys
to the milk truck
and free Ethel undetected
is by sticking to the path
I mapped out for you.
If you deviate
from that path,
you will trigger security
and all bets are off.
All right, look alive.
The electrical access door
should be coming up
on your left.
TRACY: Okay,
this way. (laughs)
Hey, look. There it is.
(intense music playing)
Okay, we're in.
Continue through and locate
the air vent
at the end of the hallway.
That will take you
to the refrigeration room.
-(P.A. bell chimes)
-(all gasp)
Factory workers,
your 15-minute break
begins now.
(all shriek)
-(door buzzes)
-(lively chatter)
(whistling a tune)
(groans) Oh, your feet
need a deep rinse.
What's the holdup, Junior?
How do you get through this?
You're bigger than me.
-Am I?
Well, the vent doesn't agree.
-Try sucking in your gut.
-I am.
Try sucking in
your butt and your gut.
(all straining)
(screaming continues)
Oh! (screaming)
what's happening now?
We fell out of a vent
into a room that looks like
it's full of heavy machinery.
OTTO: Son of a cud.
You're in the pine cone.
MARGE: Jiminy Davis!
The perp is a cat!
And this one looks like it
could eat us out of business.
Oh, Vic! Vic!
there's the loading dock.
No, don't! Junior!
Don't move.
What? Why?
We're in the middle
of the pine cone.
Otto told us to stay
out of the pine cone.
Oh, stop.
There's no pine cone.
Otto's a bit
of a worrywart.
I can walk to
the loading dock from here.
-VIC: No!
Mmm. Oh, cheddar.
Probably one of
my top 26 favorite cheeses.
-(confused mumble)
(gulping) Mmm.
What do you think happens
when that gets to zero?
(alarm blaring)
OTTO: Bullfrog,
what's happening now?
Roadkill got carried away
into the pine cone.
Listen to me.
You have to carry on
with the mission.
Get to the loading dock
before the workers
return from their break,
or you'll miss your
only chance to get that truck.
(shouts) No, no, no!
No, no, no, no!
Shred sequence initiated.
(Odie barking)
Odie! Oh.
Oh, thanks, buddy,
but-but I'm pretty full
from the cheddar.
Oh, jump off.
Yeah, yeah, good idea.
(gasps, grunts)
Oh, good. He's safe.
GARFIELD: Uh, hang on.
Wait. Where am I going?
-Oh, no!
(grunts, shouts)
(screams, sobs)
VIC: Junior.
-(pained panting)
(both scream)
Junior! Hey!
(chuckles) Oh-ho, hoo!
That was too close,
even for me.
I couldn't let you
have all the fun.
-(P.A. bell chimes)
Workers, your break ends
in five minutes.
Okay, Otto,
we're in the loading dock.
Where are the keys?
OTTO: They should be
hanging on
a pegboard
on the far wall.
What do you mean
we have a problem?
Uh, pegboard's empty.
OTTO: Empty?
MARGE: Now, would you
look at this.
Three misguided stray pets
trying to steal
a truck of milk.
Never a dull moment at
this dairy, is there, Margie?
Well, you're looking for these,
aren't you?
Well, here you go, then.
So how's this gonna
play out, fellas?
The easy way
or the hard way?
Oh, and just so you know,
I'm up for either.
Follow my lead.
Huh? What?
-(neck cracks)
-Who's next, then?
Otto, a security guard
has the truck keys!
Crazy eyes?
Tragic sense of fashion?
Yeah. How did you know?
Marge Malone.
ETHEL: (echoing) Otto!
She's not just my nemesis.
She's also my enemy.
Love to hear about it,
but right now, what do we do?
Get those keys.
I'll create a distraction
so you can get out of there.
-MARGE: Come here, you!
-(both whimpering)
Did you see that?
That's indoor cat style.
(electricity crackling)
No, no, no, no.
You're not getting away.
I've already called the pound.
Your days of thievery
end today.
(alarm blaring)
Attempted perimeter breach.
Attempted perimeter breach.
Attempted perimeter breach.
Attempted perimeter breach.
Attempted perimeter breach.
Junior, sorry about this.
Sorry? For what?
-(Garfield shouts)
-(Marge gasps)
What are you doing?
Don't you go. Vic!
(electrical whirring)
(Marge panting)
Send security
to the loading dock.
You do not want
to try me today, mister.
Get him!
(intense music playing)
-(alarm beeping)
(tires squealing)
JINX: Welcome back...
Oh, hey, Jinx.
Why are you here?
I-I was bringing this to you.
Were you?
Yeah, of course I was.
That's what
we agreed to, right?
So, you and me
square now?
(chuckles) Not quite.
There's still the matter
of those five years
-I lost because of you.
But I thought
this settled that.
It was never about the milk.
It was about you getting
caught trying to steal it
and being sent
to the pound.
Like I was.
You see, Vic,
I needed you to suffer.
Like I did.
I see.
And I'm guessing
you have an idea about
how that should happen.
As a matter of fact, I do.
I can't believe
he did that.
He ran out
and he left me.
I thought he'd changed,
but it was...
it was a lie.
All of it.
How could I have been
so stupid?
Oh, come on, kid.
Don't beat yourself up.
Vic, man,
we've all been burned by Vic.
-(overlapping agreement)
-Yeah, that's right.
Burned every cat I know.
Ah, yeah, the one thing
about Vic you can count on
is that you can't
count on him.
Tell me about it.
I'll tell you about it.
Long story short,
we all used to run in a pack
until we had to kick him
out the crew.
(overlapping agreement)
Like I said,
couldn't count on him.
Sounds about right.
He'd leave
in the middle of a job
just to go see his kid.
Yeah, he said he wanted
to check up on him,
make sure
he was doing okay.
But get this:
he'd never actually visit.
He'd just sit across the street
from his kid's house
in a giant oak tree.
That never happened.
He'd watch that kid
eat and eat and eat...
He'd put a notch
in the bark...
-...and eat and eat...
-...every time he was there.
Oh, yeah. Sure, he did.
He'd go every Sunday night,
rain or shine.
Said that it was
his kid's...
Family dinner night.
(overlapping chatter)
Okay, hate to
tell you guys...
I guarantee
that never happened.
Okay? You all fell for
another one of Vic's lies.
We all have.
Because that's
what he does best.
(Odie barks)
(barks happily)
Odie? Odie!
How did you get out?
Quick, pick the lock
on my cage.
-Garfield, there you are!
-(gasps) Jon!
(crying) Oh, take me away
from all of this.
You can't imagine
what I've been through.
You want this one, too?
Oh, yes, I do.
You sure he's yours?
He didn't have a tag.
JON: Uh-huh, yeah.
Oh, he has a tag.
Huh? I have a collar
and a tag?
-How long have I had those?
I'm just gonna
need you to hold...
I will not hold!
I am done holding!
The Jon who was on hold
is dead!
Do you understand?
That's right.
I'm back, baby.
("Good Life" playing)
I was just talking about you,
wasn't I?
Oh, I've missed you, too.
Ah, coochie-coochie-
-I got the good life
I got the good life...
GARFIELD: (whispering)
I have a lot to tell you.
You're never gonna believe it.
Crazy stuff happened.
I slept outside twice.
I know. Me.
Oh, and I got you
this commemorative pin.
Nothing better than
you and me...
-JON: Dinner time!
Talk later.
I got the good,
good life
Nah, nah, nah-nah
-I got the good, good life
-Nah, nah, nah-nah
-I got the good, good life
-Good life
-I got the good life
-Good life, good life
-Good, good life...
-JON: Say when.
Never, Jon.
Bury me in cheese.
-I got the good life
JON: I have two more
in the freezer.
Let me know when you want 'em.
-(timer dings)
-I'm gonna go check on dessert.
Oh, I apologize in advance.
The eating you're about to see
will not be pretty,
and if you have
young children,
this would be a good time
for them to leave the room.
(soft, melancholy music playing)
OLIVIA: He'd just sit
across the street
from his kid's house
in a giant oak tree.

(stomach grumbling)
Oh, I know, I know.
We're coming back.
(stomach grumbling)
I just need to check
something out first.
(dog barking in distance)
(tires squealing)

He put a notch in the bark
every time he was there.
"He left a notch."
Yeah, right.

He was here.
He saw me grow up.
(Odie barks)
Oh. Ow.
Wow, that really stings.
I don't know why
I didn't think it would.
Give me a second.
Vic loves us!
Me first, of course,
but then you, too!
But me, a lot, and first!
Wait, but if
he loves me-- us--
why would he let me, us,
get captured at the dairy?
Unless... (gasps)
he wanted us to get captured!
-(tires squealing)
-MAN: Hey, watch it!
Yes, he knew that
Jinx wasn't gonna
let him off the hook,
but if we got caught,
we'd get sent to the pound,
and Jon would
come to get us.
-(horns honking)
-Don't you see, Odie?
-He was trying to save us.
-(people shouting angrily)
We have to go save my dad.
And here's
your favorite dessert,
Mount Candy-toa!
-Uh, guys?
Oh, come on!

What is this?
(both gasp)
(both gasp)
(both gasp)
(gasps) Half a star
for Mamma Leoni's?
She's a monster.
(Odie grunts)
She's gonna tie him up,
-take him on a train...
-(Jinx laughing maniacally)
GARFIELD: (gasps)
She's going to throw
him off the Mile High Bridge.
We're gonna need help.
Who can we call?
Hmm. (gasps)
(grunts) Ha.
(gasps) Ew. You got
a lot of waxy buildup.
-What's your Q-tip routine?
You're right, you're right.
We can deal with
that situation later.
Hello? Is anyone there?
Get off the line.
This acorn is for
emergency use only.
Otto. Otto, please, listen.
I want to make good
on our original deal,
but... (sighs)
but I need a favor first.
Otto, are you still there
or are you taking
a dramatic pause?
I'm listening.
(train horn blows)
-(dramatic string music plays)
You know, Vic,
you only have yourself
to blame for this.
(dramatic string music
Right. Look.
There's got to be some way
for me to make this right.
I mean, I know we can
think of something.
Oh, there is, and you will.
(dramatic string music
(thunder rumbles)
(train horn blows)
So, once I get on the train,
I untie Vic, and we jump off
right as the train
gets to the bridge.
Correct. Chipmunk will be
waiting for you.
your status, Chipmunk.
(grunts, barks)
-If you don't jump
right as the train
gets to the bridge,
-you'll miss the net.
-Got it.
It's getting close.
Have you considered
throwing a rope over a branch
and just swinging onto
the passing train instead?
-You watch too much TV.
-I've never watched TV.
Well, this way is much better
than your rope idea.
Better than the versatile,
reliable rope?
Look, I've studied
the science.
I know what I'm doing.
And you think you can battle
these villains on your own?
Oh, yeah. I have a plan.
-(acorn beeps)
GARFIELD (over acorn):
Make the order.
(barks) Mm-hmm.
(phone chimes)
Now get ready to fling me
in the direction
of that moving train.
-GARFIELD: Get ready.
-(train horn blows)
If I don't make it back,
tell my story. Now!
Roadkill, you're too high.
You're gonna miss it.
No, no,
this is how you do it.
It's called
the ricochet approach.
Ooh. (laughs)
It won't be long now.
I can't tell you
how excited I am
for what's about
to happen next.
(all grunt)
Dad, I'm here
to rescue you.
No, no, no,
no, no, Junior.
-Get out of here.
-I'm gonna untie you,
and we're gonna
jump off the train.
VIC: No.
Just leave me and go.
I didn't come this far
just to turn around.
-Let me untie you.
-You're ruining everything.
(both scream)
-Quick, this way.
(Jinx screams)
(groans) You half-wit.
Get them!
(gasps) Oh!
(both shout)
(both grunting)
The bridge is coming up.
We got to get
to the caboose now.
-What? Why?
-Just follow my lead.
Ha! (laughs)
Oi, kitty cat.
Did you expect to take
us on all by yourself?
No. I brought takeout.

("Top Gun Anthem" playing)
(grunts, laughs)
-Ow! (screams)
Ow! (grunts)
I never understood
the purpose of salad
until this exact moment.
Whoa. (grunts)
Go, go! Now!
Get after him!
(Garfield laughs)
Yeah, in case
you were wondering,
I do my own stunts.
and Tom Cruise. (gasps)
JINX: Stop him!
(all scream)
Now, that's amazing.
I can't feel my tongue.
Are you at the caboose,
ready to jump?
(both grunting)
-Jump, Junior.
I'll catch you.
(both scream)
(train horn blows)
What do we do now?
We do this.
-See ya, everyone.
The net's too tight!
Roadkill, the net
is too tight.
I heard.
Hello again.
Welcome back.
Now, where were we?
(gasps, shouts)
No, no, don't throw them
over just yet.
-JINX: Ooh-hoo, I want to find
the perfect place for them
to make the biggest splat.
-Hey, hey, Junior.
Get ready. Almost there.
Sorry my rescue
didn't work out.
No, you gave me
another chance.
That's all that matters.
Now, now!
Drop them now! (gasps)
What are you waiting for?
Their love for one another
indicates that,
despite their
current circumstance,
-they are at peace.
-Because they are together.
If the point of your revenge
was to hurt them,
it has done the opposite.
It's actually
textbook irony.
And we're no longer
comfortable with your plan.
You two are still
as weak as you were
when I found you sniveling
in the pound.
(imitating Roland)
Oh, no one will adopt us.
I never grew
into my folds.
I hide behind them because
I'm socially awkward.
(imitating Nolan)
Please, somebody love me,
even though I can't sit still
for more than ten seconds
and have the attention span
of a bloody goldfish!
We did everything
you ever asked of us.
I even spoke
with this ridiculous accent
to make you feel
more at home.
But no more.
(in New York accent)
I'm New York, loud and proud.
I love myself the way I am,
and I'm a big,
brave boy, baby!
And I've been working on
my attention span.
Is that a hot-air balloon?
(groans) You two are
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
(all scream)
(all screaming)
Might I just say,
as someone else
with a zaftig figure,
you have a
beautiful body, sir.
-Oh, dear.
(all screaming)
Rope. Versatile. Reliable.
There's something about your
cadence that really throws me,
but thank you.
Tossing me off the train.
Did not see that coming.
Well, when you live
in the wild,
you got to keep your head
on a swivel.
It's basic Outdoor Cat 101.
And that had
bird poop on it. (spits)
Hey. You good, Roadkill?
Mm, not quite.
There's one last thing
to take care of.
Cut to...
(typewriter clicking)
(typewriter bell dings)
It was a dark and foggy night.
The air was damp and
heavier than a broken heart.
On nights like this,
you can't swing a cat
without hitting
shady characters
making shady deals
all over town.
Oh, but this night
was going to be different.
Justice was about to be served.
With a helping of retribution
on the side.
Is that... (clears throat)
the package?
(distorted voice) It is.
Then we have a deal.
(distorted voice) No one
will come looking for her?
MARGE: Nope.
I did what you said.
I burned her paperwork,
and then shredded it
and burned it some more.
It's like she never existed.
Except for the image
of her face
on millions of
dairy products.
(cowbell jingling)
(distorted voice)
...never happened.
(Jinx growls)
Oh, save it, Cat Fancy.
I know you planned
the milk truck heist
and then tried to throw
those innocent cats
off a train to cover it up.
The boys told me everything.
(growls) Mm, mm, mm.
Oh. (gasps)
Otto! Oh.
You are my day.
You are my night.
("Let's Get It On"
by Marvin Gaye playing)
I've been
really trying, baby
Trying to hold back
-This feeling
-(exhales, sniffs)
-For so long
-(exhales sharply)
And if you feel
(Otto moos)
Like I feel, baby
Come on, oh, come on
-(song ends)
(soft instrumental music
(Vic sighs)
(inhales, sighs)
Uh... uh...
(sighs) Well,
this is us.
Right. You're home.
-Hey, listen, uh...
-I just, I just wanted to say
-I'm sorry.
-...I'm sorry.
Wh-What are you sorry for?
For misjudging you.
Well... thanks.
Well, I just wanted
to apologize to you for...
Everything bad that happened
to us the last three days?
You know, you had your hand
in a few bad decisions
back there, too, but...
(sighs) Yeah, I'm sorry for
dragging you into my world.
This is where you belong.
Here with Jon and...
What's your name
again? Odor?
Hmm? (growls)
(panting, whimpers)
So, um, yeah,
I should go.
Yeah, yeah.
Um, I mean, unless...
-you'd want to come in?
-Nah. No, no.
I don't think
that would work.
I'm an outdoor cat.
Right. Sure, sure.
No, I just, I figured that...
No, no, no, no,
I get it.
But, you know, uh,
I got this thing
on the other side of town
I got to go do, so...
No, I'm-I'm very
busy, too. Yeah.
See you around, then?
-You know where to find me.
-In the kitchen.
Well, take care.
And remember...
(imitating Otto)
stay out of the pine cone.
(barks, whines)
What? You heard him.
It's for the best.
(gasps, grunts)
(grunts, panting)
JON: (shrieks) Oh!
You're back! What is going on?
Are you okay?
I was so worried.
You know, I was gonna add
more locks to the door,
you know, try to keep you in,
but then I thought,
"Well, what if they wanted
to be outdoor pets?"
Do you want to be
Mm-mm, mm-mm.
Oh, I really missed you guys,
and I got to say,
it's great to be
together again,
-the whole entire family.
You have no idea
what the last few days
have been like: phone calls
-and hold times and tears...
Don't give me that.
I asked him to stay.
-He wanted to leave.
You heard him.
He said he had to...
-Well, I-I... (stammers)
-Fine. I'll be right back.
-A family should consist--
Wait! Wait!
(exclaims) Am I
using trigger words
that I'm not aware of?
(joyful/uplifting music playing)
So, you coming in
or do we have to bring food
up there to you?
I'll come to you.
I just need to finish
something up here.

You know,
those notches show
how much you love me.
VIC: Is that
what you think they mean?
VIC: Nah,
I was just counting
how many slices
of lasagna you ate.
(fanfare music playing)
My medium is cuisine.
My colors are flavors.
My palette is my palate,
if you will.
(sniffs, sighs)
(timer dings)
Dinner is served.
Wow, son, I didn't know
you could cook.
Ah, yes, pasta is my paint
and the dinner plate
my... (grunts) canvas.
Oh, that's where that went.
(gulps) I've had worse.
Thank you, Garfield.
Mmm. Mmm. Wow.
Uh, is he gonna be coming
around for dinner often?
-Yeah. He's family.
-VIC: Whoo!
-(phone vibrates, chimes)
What? Why do I have
a takeout bill
for 6,000 drone deliveries?!
Let it roll, ha
Let it ride, oh, yeah
Let it slide right by,
let it roll
Oh, yeah, let it ride
-(chair beeping)
When I spin out
and don't know where to go
Mm, another day,
another morning
Another party living
in my head
Wish I could've had
a warning
But I better get up
out of bed, hey
Got things to do,
people to see
Everybody want
to get a piece of me
-So I tell you what I do
-(Odie panting)
Mm, I let it roll
When your body
can't catch a feeling
When your feet are stuck
on the ceiling
When your right and wrongs
are the reason
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh
-(Odie howling)
-Let it ride
When I spin out
and don't know where to go
Hey, hey
Still in the field,
and I'm back on the run
I came in the party
to have me some fun
I ride with these cats,
so I'm never alone
DJ, please,
could you play my song?
Wobble the wiggle,
I slide out the back
Pay no attention,
my head in my hat
Surprised, admit it,
rise or risen
Slide, we're vicious,
sky's the limit
Let it go
-Let it ride
-L-I-G, L-I-G
-Mm, let it go
-Let it go
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh
-Let it roll
-Mm, let it ride
Mm, when I spin out
and don't know where to go
-I let it roll
-(song ends)
("Good Life" by Jon Batiste
Ow, oh, yeah

-I got the good life
-I got the good life
Like the lips
on a honeybee
Ooh, you taste so sweet
Nothing better than
you and me
How could it be?
Whoo! I must be doing
something right
To have ended up here
with you
I know there been a few
bumps and a few hard nights
I feel a little bit of love
and a little bit of time
The sun can't shine
If you ain't know,
I got the, got the, got the
-I got the good life
-I got the good life
Whoo! It hit me
like dynamite
While I was healing
from the black and blue
Worry about the things
that I never had
But I'm thankful, yeah
I feel a little bit of love
You know I got the,
got the, got the
-Good life
-I got the good life
Get it, got it,
got the good life
Got the, got the, got the
I g-g-got the,
got the good life
The good life
I-I got the
I got the, ow
-I got the good life
You never know
what you mean to me
You made my life complete
You fill my heart
with the missing piece
How can it be?
-Nah, nah, nah, nah
-I got the good, good life
Nah, nah, nah-nah
I got the good,
good life
Nah, nah,
-I got the good, good life
-Good life
-I got the good life
-Good life, good life
I got the good,
good life
I got the good life
(song ends)
("Then There Was You"
by Calum Scott playing)
Then there was you
I never heard those
three words in the morning
I never felt
those crazy butterflies
And I've never had
the feeling that I'm wanted
I've never held a hand
that fit just right
And then there was you
And then there was you
My mama always told me
I should take it slow
But my heart beats fast
when we're all alone
And I'm never, ever, ever
gonna let you go, no
And then there was you
Gonna love you every day
till we're gray and old
Gonna dance all night,
gonna hold you close
And I'm never, ever, ever
gonna let you go, no
I never said "I love you"
without warning
And I never really felt it
without lies
I never thought
there'd be a day
I'd ever have the guts
to say that
Somebody's mine
And then there was you
And then there was you
My mama always told me
I should take it slow
But my heart beats fast
when we're all alone
And I'm never, ever, ever
gonna let you go, no
And then there was you
Gonna love you every day
till we're gray and old
Gonna dance all night,
gonna hold you close
And I'm never, ever, ever
gonna let you go, no
And then there was you
And then there was you
I never heard those
three words in the morning
I never felt
those crazy butterflies
My mama always told me
I should take it slow
But my heart beats fast
when we're all alone
And I'm never, ever, ever
gonna let you go, no
Never, ever
gonna let you go
Gonna love you every day
till we're gray and old
Gonna dance all night,
gonna hold you close
And I'm never, ever, ever
gonna let you go, no
Oh, then there was you
And then there was you
My mama always told me
I should take it slow
But my heart beats fast
when we're all alone
And I'm never, ever, ever
gonna let you go, no
(song ends)
("I'm Back" playing)
JINX: This is just
what I had planned
Though I'm thrilled
to meet you
I'm just a minx
of English brand
Dreamed of the cat show
Till one night
in the street
'Twas my chance I would meet
a meow so discreet
We had the world
on a string
Till he cut town
and left me empty-handed
(meows harshly)
I'm back
And I'm on the prowl
Revenge would taste
so sweet right now
-I'm back
-She's back
And it's time for war
Watch me scratch,
hear me roar
She's a cat on the prowl
Got a mighty meow
She's the queen
of the streets
Her name is Jinx
JINX: That's me
I'm back
I can't believe
he double-crossed me
That really was so mean
We were friends
from the start
A real work of art
The thickest
of feline thieves
He came up with a scheme
to steal all the cream
But I was
the only one caught
I was locked in a cage
Where my heart filled
with rage
And I developed
this maniacal scream
(screams maniacally)
(laughs maniacally)
ROLAND: Ay, yo,
it's doggy-diggity-diggity-D
I'm bringing
the biggity-biggity-beats
-JINX: No, no, no.
-Don't you...
JINX: Shush.
In case you hadn't noticed...
I'm back
And I'm on the prowl
Revenge would taste
so sweet right now
-Well, I'm back
-She's back
And it's time for war
Watch me scratch,
hear me roar
She's a cat on the prowl
Got a mighty meow
She's the queen
of the streets
-Her name is Jinx
-My name is Jinx
That's me
-I'm back
-She's back, she's back
I'm a cat on the prowl
She's back, she's back
-A mighty meow
-She's back
Her name is Jinx
That's me
I'm back
ROLAND: She biggity-biggity-
I'm back
(song ends)
Oh, oh, oh

-Yeah, turning out tonight
-Turning out tonight
The beat gon' get it right,
bring it
Turning out tonight,
the beat gon' get it right
Bring it
-Turning out tonight
I don't know what I'm doing
Oh, oh, oh
The beat gon' get it right
Yeah, whoo
Turning out tonight,
the beat gon' get it right
Oh, oh, oh
Turning out tonight
-Bring it!
-(song ends)