The Girl in the Bathtub (2018) Movie Script
Hi!
I'm just sucking down
this caramel... frappucino.
It's disgusting.
Uh, I just wanted to tell you
that I love you and I miss you
and I crave you more than,
well, definitely more than this,
but more than chocolate
or crack cocaine,
and that even when I'm dead
and I'm in the ground
and getting eaten by worms,
I will still love you
because love never dies.
Mwah!
I miss you
and I love you
and I'm here for you
and I will see you soon.
After I died, this video got
more than two million views.
I imagine people who Google
a dead person
or watch movies about them
are looking for clues.
They keep clicking because
they wanna know the person
behind the headline.
They wanna know what
you were really like.
If you were good or bad.
Naughty or nice.
In my case, people wanna know
how I ended up dead
three days before my 27th
birthday in the bathtub
of prominent Philadelphia
defense attorney, Chuck Peruto,
who also happened to be my boss.
Somebody once said publicity
is like sex.
When it's good, it's great,
and when it's bad
it's still pretty good.
In Philly, Chuck gets
a lot of publicity.
Chuck was basically known
for two things:
defending murderers
and mobsters in court,
and dating gorgeous girls
half his age.
Girls like me.
The day after I died, Chuck
posted that I was an angel
who God took too soon,
which is nice,
but not exactly true.
I was a lot of things,
but I was definitely no angel.
Zulma, Chuck's property manager,
was the one who found me.
Hello?
Solomon?
Yeah.
Do you have my shirt?
Chuck sends Zulma
to retrieve his shirt
from his condo
in Rittenhouse Square,
while Chuck was down
on the shore hosting
his infamous Memorial Day
beach bash in Margate.
What...?
From beginning, the shirt
business seemed fishy.
He's down on the shore.
Why is a guy
so desperate for his shirt?
It's human nature to want
to solve the mystery,
but, like a crystal prism, you
hold any life up to the light,
and different colors emerge.
They found a dead girl in
Chuck's Peruto's bathtub.
- Oh, my God.
- I just read it on Facebook.
In the days and weeks
after my death,
cops, journalists,
documentarians
and armchair detectives
will scour my Facebook page,
my online posts,
and my YouTube channel,
trying to figure out
what happened to me.
Lola, hon, can you grab that?
Yeah, hang on.
On local talk shows
and newsmagazines,
they'll call me
a raven-haired beauty
with a Mona Lisa smile.
A sweetheart. A slut.
Party central.
People will speculate
and gossip in every bar,
party and dining room
in the city.
What?
M... Mom?
They found Julia.
What...?
An autopsy will be conducted,
they'll interview co-workers,
lovers, friends and family,
and just like when I used
to obsess over interviews,
autopsy reports
and conspiracy theories,
now strangers obsess over me...
The girl in Chuck Peruto's
bathtub.
Because while everybody
in Philly knew Chuck Peruto...
nobody really knew me.
I was madly in love with her.
What possible reason
would I have to kill her?
Whoo!
Happy graduation, Angie!
Hey, there's my boss!
Hey, you guys.
Wow.
Last time Teri got this drunk,
tables were thrown.
- Do you think I should intervene?
- No.
Chuck could use a few dents
in that giant head of his.
I overheard him talking
to Spencer saying
that he's in love with you.
No, you didn't.
That didn't happen.
Okay, from my desk at reception
I see everything.
I don't need Chuck falling
in love with me.
Look at how scary Teri is.
She looks like she could
throw me out a window
without even blinking.
Yeah.
And also, he's 58.
I'll be 27 next week.
I'm way too old for him.
Yeah, but you're Mary Poppins.
Oh, come on.
A spoonful of sugar!
Okay, alright, alright, alright.
No, no, no, no, no.
You two are planning something
here right now, I can tell.
Yeah, a hostile takeover
of your corner office.
Is that it?
Fine. You take it.
I'm done with that view.
So then, boss, you know,
I have my degree,
you think I can get that raise?
Oh, yeah, maybe he'll bump you
up to $7.50 an hour.
Hardee-har-har.
A couple of cards here, I see.
Yeah, just short of a full deck,
otherwise we wouldn't be
working for you.
I like when you're sassy.
We knew Chuck
would go for Julia
the moment she walked in.
She's totally his type.
Long, dark hair, super skinny.
Angie, congratulations,
this is your day.
I think you know how proud
I am of you.
Happy graduation.
I have to go
and make an appearance
at my nephew's.
Thank you so much for coming.
And um, ahem, don't forget
that raise.
Right this way.
So did you actually get
your nephew anything?
Uh, yeah. Yeah.
I mean, Zulma did, picked out
a train or something.
Oh, that's thoughtful of you.
- Wasn't it?
- Yeah.
Why's Teri so pissed?
She called me last night
and said she wants
to get back together.
Oh, and what did you say?
I said yeah.
I told her I'm seeing somebody.
Why did you do that?
You're gonna make
my life miserable.
I didn't mention any names.
I know. Wait...
For a few weeks there,
Chuck was definitely into me.
- Did you check out that game last night?
- Yeah.
- Flyers almost did it.
- They lost in overtime.
Call me later.
I can't stay up there very long.
Well, they have a pill
for that now.
Oh, Julia Law, ladies
and gentlemen, give it up.
Mm, I'll be here all week.
Unlike some people I don't have
a problem with staying power.
You're killing me.
You're killing me.
Okay, well can you go
before Teri comes in here
and kicks my ass, please?
She better not touch that ass.
Also... you are gorgeous.
You know that?
My God, you are so gorgeous.
Chuck went on local news
proclaiming he never laid
a hand on me,
which is not exactly true. Heh.
We had the perfect relationship.
I wanted to marry her.
I did.
So while everybody was obsessed
with the romance
between me and Chuck,
there were other people the cops
should have interviewed...
Other people
that had plenty
of reason to want me dead.
Hey.
Hey, welcome back.
Uh, I'm headed out.
I just want to tell you
how great you look.
But then you always do.
That's not true, but thank you.
I actually wanted
to ask you, um,
how's your grandma?
Oh, she's, uh,
yeah, hospice
is there now, so...
Oh, my... I didn't realize
it had gotten that bad.
I'm so sorry, Paul.
She's pretty doped up
on morphine, so...
That sucks.
Yeah, other than that,
just trying to stay busy.
Yeah, Chuck said
that Schuster got off
with a slap on the wrist,
which is amazing.
Yeah. He's pretty happy.
Mm-hm. I bet.
How about you?
Are things good?
Uh, yeah.
I uh... I feel great.
Um, I'm just trying to be
healthy and I'm quitting smoking
and quitting midnight runs
to Daily Doughnuts.
Doughnuts? Yeah?
You know about that.
I do.
Unlike most guys in this town,
Paul wasn't a player.
And while he could come off
as a little dull
or plain vanilla,
when you got close to him,
he was a really
nice, smart, sensitive guy.
It's like the methadone clinic.
For pets.
Hey, I'm really sorry that
things ended the way they did.
It's not your fault.
You know, all the stuff
that you said about,
you know, being messed up.
Everyone's got problems.
Everybody.
Not you.
Yeah, I do.
I just think maybe...
maybe it's easier to work
through that stuff
when you're with somebody
who loves you.
Yeah, maybe.
Do you have plans
for your birthday?
Yeah, I'm gonna bury my head
in the sand
and pretend it's not happening.
You're 27, you're a baby.
You're a baby.
My mom invited me
to come home for it.
Wow. That's
progress, right?
That... Whoa.
Yeah, no, it's good.
It is good.
I really wanna see
my little brother.
I haven't seen him in forever.
Lola posted this video
of him in this, like,
really cute penguin costume
and I've watched it
no less than 200 times.
Uh...
Fair enough.
Well, if you don't go
and see the adorable penguin,
can I buy you dinner?
I gotta fly to Chicago tomorrow,
but I'm back Thursday.
I'll take you to Aria
for old time's sake.
Yeah. I would like that.
I missed you.
I missed you, too.
I did miss him.
The year Paul and I
were together
was probably the best year
of my life.
He was nice to me.
My family loved him.
He was smart and stable
and honestly, super boring.
Thank you for the ride.
Until Thursday.
- Ignore all the sounds...
- Yeah, don't worry.
I'm about to make.
Bye.
Everyone who knew him, though,
thought Paul was
a really good guy.
But what if he found out
I was sleeping with Chuck
before Chuck called him in to
tell him I was dead in his tub?
Could he have been
the quintessential nice guy
who suddenly snaps?
She was a friend and she was
a very good person.
That's all I'm gonna say
about it, alright?
I'm not comfortable talking
about somebody that's not here
to defend herself, and frankly,
I'm getting a little tired of
you guys following me around
asking me about it, okay?
Talking about it's not gonna
change what happened
and it's really tough
to move forward
and put things behind you
when you got somebody
sticking a camera in your face
asking you questions about it,
so have a little respect.
Alright? I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
Let me tell you something.
You wanna know the real reason
that they're gonna convene
the grand jury?
'Cause there's nobody out there
that believes that I killed her.
It's this Ratsinger, the D.A.,
otherwise known as "the rat",
fat prick, he's doing this
just to get back at me
for all the times
I made him look like
an asshole in court,
and trust me, it's a lot.
So now you've got Ratsinger,
who's jerkin' off the cops
and the whole time
whoever did this?
They're free.
And you're talking to me now?
Oh, my...
- Hi.
- Hi.
Here's the truth.
I liked Chuck but he was
way too old for me,
and Paul was a super nice guy
but he was kinda boring.
The true undisputed love
of my life
was a guy totally unknown
to both Chuck and Paul,
a guy the cops found out about
but never interviewed.
His name was Neil,
and he broke my heart
about a million times.
Who are you texting?
Chuck...
'cause he asked me to stay over.
- I'm jealous.
- Good.
You should be.
You know I hate leaving
you alone, you know that, right?
What I knew was that Neil
was married with three kids
and I was in love with him.
I also knew there was no way
we were ever gonna be together,
not like normal people.
Okay, well, I'm gonna go
be not alone with Chuck
'cause he acts like he actually
wants to be around me.
Sound good?
Mm.
I hate every minute
that we're apart,
you know that, right?
I just hate you.
That wasn't true
and we both knew it.
I just liked to hurt him
a little sometimes
the way he hurt me
without even trying.
What do you think? This one?
This guy?
A thong...
- You're not going anywhere.
- No, I'm going...
Heh. You're the one
who has to leave.
Funny.
We, uh, we met at a bar.
She was complimenting me
on my old fashioned.
She's like, "There's something
about a man
that drinks an old fashioned"
and I was like, well, okay.
I'll take that.
And we just started
to uh, get into conversation.
It was... It felt like we had
known each other for so long,
it was just instant.
We just...
We just clicked, you know?
Um, and, uh,
she happened to be
going my way and I gave her
a ride home and we just kept
in touch from there.
It's hard not to wonder what if.
Maybe if things had been
different between me and Neil,
and if I hadn't decided
to go to Chuck's,
maybe what happened that night
never would have happened.
- Hey.
- Hey, how's it going?
It's good.
Um, I actually just wanted
to check and see if anyone
had handed in
some, like, Ray-Ban aviators?
I'm not sure, but I can check
in the office for you.
Okay, that'd be great.
- That sucks.
- Yeah, I know.
I left brand a new Phillies hat
at the movies a few weeks ago,
I go back like five minutes
later to get it
and the cleaning crew guy
is like, "I don't know, man,
I haven't seen it."
I go back the next day
the dude's wearing my hat.
That's insane!
Right?
Did you say anything to him?
Well, I...
You just let him keep it.
I think that was his scam.
Yeah, bummer.
I wonder how many hats
that guy has.
A lot.
Uh, you want?
Uh, sure. Why not?
That's nice looking stuff.
Are you celebrating?
Yeah. I just met you, so...
Oh, isn't that nice?
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Uh, you live around here?
Just around the corner.
What about you?
Yeah, just moved
into the neighborhood.
Oh, yeah?
How are you finding it?
It's awesome.
It's good, right?
There's like a lot of good bars
and restaurants and stuff.
This is all we got.
Uh, yeah. That's not them.
Uh, okay, can I just give you
my phone number
and if they show up
you can just call me?
What guy in his right mind
would say no to that?
Do you remember when you left
them here? Yeah, it was last night
so I'm guessing
someone swiped 'em.
- We'll make sure we look.
- Alright, well...
if I come back and
you're wearing them,
I won't do anything about it,
but please don't.
- Okay, nice seeing you.
- Uh, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute.
Where are you going?
I don't even know your name.
I'm actually gonna go meet
somebody right now.
Oh. Okay.
I'm sorry.
Oh.
Sorry. But thank you
for the champagne,
that was really nice of you.
If you're keeping track at home
so far we have Chuck my boss,
Teri, his ex-girlfriend,
Paul my ex-boyfriend,
and Neil, my married lover.
Oh, and then there was
the creep who roofied me.
That was a pretty
crazy night, right?
Uh, shower only, actually.
There's another bathroom
down the hall.
If you've never been roofied,
and I hope to God you haven't,
it's the weirdest feeling
in the world.
I felt like I had died
and been dragged
back to life by my hair.
Everything hurt.
I have to go home.
My phone's dead, I...
I don't have a car.
Oh, yeah, no, well...
let me get you an Uber.
You can just get me back.
What's your address?
And in weather,
it's a beautiful day
out there today.
A high of 92...
No, no, no!
How many times is this now?
Three?
In three months?
Yeah, I'm really sorry.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Are you okay?
No.
I think he took my keys.
Can you come over?
Jules, listen to me.
You gotta call the cops,
alright?
I can't call the cops.
Excuse me.
Who are you with?
What're you doing?
I'm... I'm just uh,
I'm at a lighting...
Can you just come over?
I don't understand
why you can't just come over.
I'm with my kids.
Can Angie come stay with you?
No, her family's in town.
How about Susan?
She's not talking to me.
What? Since when?
Since she yelled at me
and said she wasn't going
to be my enabler anymore.
I'm such a shit show.
Can you just say something?
Can you just tell me
that you love me or something?
Baby, I love you. I do.
And I wish I could be there
right now with you,
kissing you, holding you
in my arms
and making you feel good.
I can't believe this happened
to you.
Babe, I can't see you anymore.
Huh?
I can't see your beautiful face.
- Did you pause me?
- No.
I had been lurking
on a recovery site
that offered support.
I posted on their forums
a few times.
But I wasn't very good
at reaching out.
This might sound weird,
but sometimes I felt like
Amy was watching over me,
like God.
When I finally woke up a
full day later, late for work,
I was pretty sure the painting
of Amy winking at me
was a hallucination,
compliments of the roofie
and the wine I downed
to fall asleep.
Hey.
Well, hello...
- What?
- You, Paul, Saturday?
I knew you were gonna say that
and that's not...
Ladies. This needs to get
filed today on the Diaz case.
Oh, okay.
I just have to finish
another pleading for Chuck
then I'll do it.
Did I get it?
Yeah?
- Oh, hey.
- We're all going to Retro.
After work, okay?
Oh, okay.
The Peruto party train
was a fun ride.
It was hard not to jump on.
But I barely slept three hours
at a stretch.
I was struggling to keep up.
This girl was... person,
excuse me, ladies...
Uh, a physical specimen,
an Olympic athlete,
a triathlete, whatever.
And it seemed to me, I could
admire that if it was on the top
of Mount Olympus,
but at the downtown Y,
- it just seemed...
- The Y?
- What?
- Nothing. Just the Y, yeah.
Chuck can't handle strong women
is what he's trying to say.
Maybe I just like something
more real.
That is why he spent six months
trying to convince me
- to get a boob job.
- You must be talking about somebody else.
Real, Chuck? I mean, we all know
you can't handle real.
Hey, babe.
What's the matter?
I feel like I'm having
a heart attack.
You want me to take you
to the hospital?
I can't breathe, though.
I feel like...
I think I might pass out.
Well, you want me to take you
home or what?
Mm-mm. This is a...
This is a panic attack!
I've had them before,
this is just really bad.
Okay. You'll be alright,
just breathe.
Can we go get a drink?
Look, what that guy did was sick
and illegal,
and you should call the cops...
No, I don't want to talk
to the cops.
I have enough going on
in my head
without a guilt trip from you.
Please.
I'm not trying
to guilt trip you.
I don't have anything
to tell the cops.
If I go to them, I don't know
this dude's name,
I don't know anything about him,
so if I go all we're gonna have
to talk about is me
and I don't particularly
want my life
under a microscope right now.
- I understand.
- No, you don't. I know
you want to but
you really don't understand.
Okay, when I woke up this
morning, my phone was dead,
so he called me a car which
means he knows where I live
and he has my keys.
-Maybe the cops could trace...
-No, I'm not gonna talk to the cops, okay?!
Alright, um... I'm sorry.
Um...
No, I'm sorry.
You've been through a lot.
We'll get you a room.
You can relax, have a hot bath.
You'll feel better.
Sometimes Neil could be
so good to me.
Okay.
Whether he was good for me
is another question.
Yeah, hi.
Yeah, my name is Neil,
I'm a friend of Julia Law's,
she's a tenant in your building.
Apparently, somebody
has the keys to her place
and we'd like to get
the locks changed.
Wondering if you could
help us out.
Yeah, yeah.
As soon as possible, actually.
Look, I know you got
a whole building to manage
and that new locks
are expensive, but...
It's not going to cost anything
so what's the problem?
No, no, I get it, I get it,
but how about this?
How about I send in my
locksmith, he'll change the locks,
no cost to you
and give you the master?
Neil was a really good daddy.
He knew how to take charge
and make everything better.
Yeah, no, she'll rest easier
that way.
Yeah.
Great.
Great, thank you,
thank you very much.
Done.
Yeah?
The locksmith will be
at your place
first thing in the morning.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I do appreciate it.
I'm sorry
that you had to do
all of this. It's just...
Sorry? What do you got to be
sorry about?
I don't know, it's just
not your problem.
Hey, hey.
I like doing things for you.
Yeah?
Yes, I do.
Now, what else...
can I do for you?
I don't know.
I was doing so good.
I was tapering my drinking
and now I've had all this
friggin' vodka and wine
and I still can't calm down.
Shh. Hey, hey.
I think I know how
to make you relax.
Okay...
You should probably
take this off.
I think I'm a little
overdressed.
I think so.
- You wear it.
- Me?
Yeah. Sexy.
Oh, right here...
No. Ooh. On a leash...
I wish you could
just hold me forever.
I wish that was your job,
was just to,
like, hold me like this.
You're the only person
who really loves me.
Oh, come on now, we both know
that's not true.
It is true.
Everyone who's ever loved me
has left me.
Okay, that sounds melodramatic,
but it's kinda true.
My nana and grandpa,
my dog Snuffy.
I just wanna stay here.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Hey.
Aw, hi, baby girl.
You getting ready to go
to sleep?
Yeah?
Alright, big kiss. Mwah.
Ready for the squeeze?
Arrrr.
Alright, baby.
Alright, goodnight, sweetie.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm still here
stuck with a client.
How's it going there?
Well, maybe we can talk
to her together tomorrow.
I should be able to get out
of here within the hour.
Yeah, see you soon.
So am I your client?
You are my boss.
Oh.
In that case,
you can't go,
otherwise you're fired.
No, I have to.
Do you think you could just stay
with me until I fall asleep?
Trust me, I would love to,
but I gotta go.
Your wife yanks on your leash
and then you have to leave?
Don't.
I'm not your boss,
she's your boss.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Yeah.
Hey, come on.
Don't be like that, alright?
I'll call you tomorrow.
Wait.
I'll make it up
to you, I promise.
Yeah, we, uh, talked about me
leaving my wife.
Julia told me not to.
She said that...
her life got really
messed up when her father left
and so she didn't want
that to happen to my kids.
That's just how she was.
She had her problems, but...
she had a huge heart.
I always hated sleeping alone.
Sometimes I'd wake up
in the middle of the night
unable to move
and I'd be so frightened.
I'd see things
and I'd hear things
that were so incredibly vivid.
I was never sure
what was real
and what was a dream.
I was caught in a vicious cycle.
I'd drink to fall asleep,
and then have nightmares
because of the booze
that were so real,
it sent me right back
to drinking.
- Okay.
- Oh!
You're all set.
Okay, thank you.
Oh, my God!
Goddamn it!
Hey, Angie, I gotta
run to court.
- Can you cover for me?
- Spencer was looking for you!
No, I know, it's just I made
this huge mistake
and I don't wanna lose
my job over this.
- I'm sorry.
- Okay...
You can just change
the numbers on the stamp
to yesterday's date.
I won't tell anybody.
Come on, dude.
I've had people do this
for me before.
I have come to this office and
they have literally done this
- for me before.
- I've got a line of people, okay?
If you want to file it, we can
stamp it with today's date.
Please, come on! I just need
this one... What is this for you?
Is this like a tiny little slap
on the wrist or something?
- Just like stamp this.
- Come on, man...
Okay, fine.
Stamp it with...
Amazing.
You're incredible. You're...
spectacular.
Thank you so much.
You have a great day.
Yeah, thank you.
Julia?
- Oh, Brooke!
- Hi!
God, I was just thinking
about you.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
I heard you're working
for Chuck Peruto.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I went to law school with Chuck.
He's great, as long as you're
not on the opposing side.
Yeah.
Totally.
- Um, so how are you?
- God.
Really busy, my little guy's
in preschool,
you know, walking, talking,
super chatty just like his mom.
Yeah! That's amazing.
God, it's great to see you.
We should grab a coffee.
Yeah, I'd love that.
That would be fun.
Yeah, and listen, if you need
a recommendation
for law school or anything...
Oh, that's so nice of you.
I'm not being nice.
You were the best intern
I ever had.
Chuck is lucky to have
snagged you.
So will you call me?
I will.
I will definitely call you.
I'm so glad that I ran into you.
Yeah, we'll talk to you soon.
- Great, I'll call you, okay?
- Okay.
Running into Brooke
on the street
shook something loose in me.
When I was interning for her,
helping others through my work
seemed possible.
I wanted that feeling again.
Online, I read up on how
to taper off on drinking.
I made a list of supplements
and teas to help me sleep.
I was determined
to clean up my act.
$93.78.
But for some of us, as much
as we want that good life,
as much as we reach out for it,
and almost hold it in our hands,
somehow we always come up empty.
I think someone stole my wallet.
Don't worry about it.
Just take the yogurt.
We've all been there.
Like...
Don't worry.
Thank you. I'll...
I'll get you on the next one.
No worries.
Thanks.
We'll send
that new card right out.
In the meantime,
I'd just like to verify
some recent purchases
at Thrifty Liquor.
We show $36.90 on the 7th,
$42.12 on the 8th.
Wait, okay. What...
Where was the one on the 8th?
Uh, the 8th was also at Thrifty.
Andrews, really...
- Okay, I gotta call you back.
- He looks like a clown.
He looks like a circus clown.
What's going on?
Anyway, never beat me
on one count, never will again.
- And the winner is...
- Boom!
My guy got acquitted by the jury
and he should have been indicted
for manslaughter at least.
Great.
Yeah. Heh.
Hey, wait.
Uh, congratulations.
- I want to ask you about something.
- Oh, please do.
I'm having difficulties with...
Look at you.
You're so happy.
-Okay, relax...
-Big day.
You're having a good day.
It's gonna get better.
It's about to get better.
Okay, so did you actually want
to talk to me, or did you...?
Yes. Your lips
taste like honey.
I know you've been
told that before.
Is that true?
Mm-hm. Constantly.
There's a whole
blog dedicated to it.
Okay, enough!
We can't do this in here!
Stop!
They're gonna hear us out there.
You have to stop.
Come on.
What?
Okay.
Hey, hey...
We can't do this here.
Come on...
We can do anything we want.
What if someone walks in?
I also don't want everyone
here thinking of me like this.
Please.
My house, ten minutes.
Yes. Okay.
I'll leave after you.
Okay...
Don't keep me waiting.
Whew.
My sister didn't love Chuck.
I mean, she liked his lifestyle
and she liked the attention,
but down deep she knew
he was no good for her.
She just couldn't end it.
You know, I'm gonna be 27
on Monday.
What?
Yeah. Heh.
Why didn't you tell me that?
Oh, was I supposed to put it
in your calendar?
Yeah.
Abso-freaking-lutely.
We gotta celebrate.
I'm gonna fly you down
after my party to Miami.
Yeah, I can't come
to your party.
What're you talking about?
What do you mean you can't come
to my party?
It's not even a question
that you're coming to my party.
Okay?
You don't come, you're fired.
I mean...
Oh, my God.
Seriously, why can't
you come to my party?
I have to go spend
my birthday with my family.
I haven't seen them in forever
and my brother's making me a cake,
I don't want to disappoint him.
Alright. Whoa... Whoa...
Wait...
They live in Absecon, right?
Yes.
Okay, so, uh,
you go celebrate
with your family
and I'll send a car.
Come down to Margate.
How easy was that?
You'd do that?
It's already done.
You want me there that badly?
It's not a party
without the party girl.
Oh, my God.
Who're you texting?
- Hi.
- Hi.
I was just gonna call you.
Are you coming in
Friday or Saturday?
'Cause I can pick you up
at the station if you want.
Yeah. That's why I called,
because, um...
Oh, my God, do not tell me
you're bailing.
Will you relax, I'm not bailing.
Thank God, because
I'd have to kill you.
You know, Max has blown up
like 1,000 balloons already.
Okay, it's just, Chuck is
giving me like a lot of flack
for not coming to his party.
Why is Chuck giving you flack?
Are you his caterer now?
It's not like that.
It's not like what?
Okay, just like
don't freak out, but, um...
What?
We've kind of started
seeing each other.
Okay, that's a joke right?
Oh, my God, you don't even
know him!
You could have Paul.
Paul is like the kind of guy
that every woman would
just like kill for.
Why would you want to trade him
in for the Cult of Chucky?
I didn't ask for him to for him
to like fall in love with me,
but it's... Oh, my God.
He said he's in love with you?
Seriously?
Don't tell Mom either!
I'm going to handle it!
Just don't say anything to Mom.
Fine.
Are you gonna tell Max
that you're not coming?
I didn't say I wasn't coming!
This is unbelievable!
You're unbelievable!
Okay. Thanks for nothing! I
don't know why I bother with you.
So are you coming?
Yes, I'm coming! Goodbye!
I can go to family functions
and remember them.
And have a good time, but it
wasn't always like that. Sorry...
You know, my dad would
piss me off and I'd be like,
"Oh, I'll show you."
My mom would yell at me, boom.
Drink.
F you, Ma, right?
So I was drinking at people
for years,
trying to feel better,
which really means feel less,
and it didn't matter
what it was.
Booze, drugs, sex, food.
It's all the same thing.
My addict will literally
try anything
to fill this gaping hole
inside of me
and she won't stop
until I'm dead.
I thought it was good, yeah.
I thought it was good.
Yeah, I know.
Hi, I'm sorry, I don't mean
to interrupt.
Hi, by the way,
It's nice to see you.
Good to see you.
It's been a really long time.
Um, I just wanted to say
like that was really helpful,
your share, it was super
relatable and it's...
It's been a really crazy period
for me right now
because like I've been drinking
just to fall asleep and if I try
to stop I start having
these really terrible
panic attacks and I feel like...
I feel like I'm gonna
have a heart attack,
like I feel like my heart is
just beating through my chest
and I've been trying all these
different things and it's...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's just really hard
to like stay
on top of it I think,
because it just feels like
I'm drowning and I've been
trying to taper
and I've just been tapering
and it's just not working
and I just don't know how
to actually stop.
Okay, look.
Um, let me just say that for me,
tapering didn't work.
We're alcoholics, right?
When were we ever content
with just one?
Yeah.
I just went cold turkey
with a ton of support.
Yeah.
Support is huge.
I also had to do a huge
clean out of my place.
Oh, yeah. You've gotta
get all the toxic substances...
And people. Out of
reach and out of your life.
Which, in my case,
included my ex-husband.
Yes, it did.
Hey, listen.
Um, take a phone list, okay?
Use it.
The main thing is,
keep coming back.
Don't isolate.
That's when bad things happen.
Can I start you off
with a drink from the bar?
I'll get a Manhattan
with a twist of lime
and a Sauvignon Blanc,
please, glass.
My pleasure.
Wait. Did you just order me
a glass of wine?
I did.
I can cancel it.
I'm so sick of hearing
about Chuck's party!
I should just break up with him
and get back together with Paul.
Chuck is a bit of a dick,
but he could give you
a big life.
What are you talking about?
Chuck is so obviously
bad for me.
Well, you were always
complaining about how Paul,
all he does is hang out
in his underwear
and play video games.
Chuck's an egomaniac.
He's been with like millions
of women.
I just don't understand
why you're not telling me
to break up with him.
Because you're an intelligent
adult woman who I believe
deserves the dignity
to make her own decisions.
I mean, is Paul better for you?
Yeah.
Probably, yeah.
But you're always saying
how there's no snap,
crackle, pop.
Maybe that's not the most
important thing.
Maybe that's not everything.
Alright, well, do
whatever you want.
I mean, I don't even know why
you're even torturing yourself
to make a decision.
It's not like you're exactly
a one-guy woman.
What? About three or
four guys is about right
for the proper care
and feeding of you.
You're gonna judge me?
I'm kidding.
Wow, dude.
Pot, kettle black, big time.
Oh, come on,
I was just joking. Chill.
Don't tell me to chill.
You know, the one way to not
get people to chill
is to tell them to chill!
Alright.
You know, I was doing really
well when I was with Paul.
I completely stopped
all of my purging.
And started binge drinking.
Because he broke up with me!
You're just always trying
to sabotage my sobriety.
You can't handle it.
You can't stand the thought
of me being sober
because it would mean...
What are you talking about?
Because you only ever
take me out to drink.
We only ever go to bars.
And when I told you
I was gonna start tapering
my drinking, did you support me?
No. You just kept ordering me
more alcohol.
You never, ever stopped
to be like oh,
maybe you shouldn't have
that third, fourth, fifth,
sixth, seventh, eighth...
- You don't even drink that much.
- Yes, I do!
You don't know!
You don't know what I do!
I see you for like one hour
out of every week!
I'm drunk like almost
all the time!
And if I'm not, I'm miserable.
It's not the alcohol that's
the problem here, Jules.
It's what's causing you to drink
that's the problem.
That's why I keep telling you
to talk to a therapist
to figure out why you binge
and purge and drink.
No, no, no.
You know what it is?
It's that if I get sober,
you're scared I won't be
with you anymore.
And you're right.
If I was sober, I wouldn't
be with you.
I wouldn't be with any of you.
Wait, where are you going?
Are you serious right now?
Julia!
Come on, I'm sorry.
Get in the car,
let me take you home.
No!
Come on!
What do you mean, no?
Just get in the car.
Go away! I'm not getting
in the car!
I'm not gonna let you walk home.
God! Fine.
Go!
Text me you got home safe.
Fine!
I hate you!
I was more determined
than ever to stop drinking.
I made an appointment
with my shrink to get help.
If you'd been taking in as much
alcohol as I had,
and then you suddenly stop,
you're at risk for some pretty
horrific symptoms,
including high blood pressure,
fever, confusion,
even hallucinations
and seizures.
I'm sorry.
That's okay.
You want to tell me about the
purging? No, that's actually good.
That's the one thing that's good
at the moment, so...
Okay...
How about the drinking?
How much and how often?
It's a lot.
Like a bottle and a half,
two bottles a night
at the moment.
An inpatient program,
is that an option for you?
Yeah, I just don't have
insurance right now,
so I can't afford it.
But I did actually want
to talk to you about...
I read that, um, like benzos
and valium can help
with withdrawal and...
And stuff, so...
Well, benzos can help, yes,
but they can obviously
be addictive.
No, I know.
And I'm totally aware of that.
Uh, I just... I do want to try
going cold turkey this weekend
and I just want to be safe.
It just feels like the best
option for me. I think.
Detoxing from alcohol
is not something
that you should be attempting
on your own.
Do you understand?
Sure.
Um, and I have somebody
who will stay with me
if I ask him to, I just have
to call him.
There you go.
Hey. Nice
to see you again,
Darren Jones.
Remember me?
Yeah, I'm the girl that you
roofied on Saturday.
Remember?
Okay. Give me my card.
I would never have gone
home with you
if you hadn't drugged me!
Well, she's obviously crazy.
Yeah, I'm crazy
'cause you raped me!
Last Saturday this guy,
Darren Jones, raped me!
Oh, where are you off to,
Darren?
You forgot your card.
Darren Jones, everybody.
Yeah, run, Darren!
Run!
I would never have gone home
with you if... Give me my card.
Look at his face.
Oh, my God, look at his face!
You know, I got some people
in the Philly PD.
You wouldn't even have to go
up to the station. Uh-uh, dude.
I am putting this
all over YouTube.
I am gonna nail this scumbag
to the wall.
I'm going to ruin your life.
Are you sure you're okay?
Look at him.
Yeah, I'm great.
I feel amazing.
Do you want me to come up
with you?
Make sure you feel safe?
Yeah, I do.
Gotcha.
Okay, I have to be serious
for one second.
Uh-oh.
I am gonna quit drinking.
Okay.
Will you help me?
Of course.
You know I got you.
Will you spend
the weekend with me?
I would love nothing...
Yes, I will spend
the weekend with you.
more than to spend
the weekend with you, but I...
Look, I got a prescription
for valium from my shrink,
but she said it's not safe
to detox alone.
Okay, but can we... Can we wait
until next weekend?
But it's my birthday
this weekend.
Yeah, I know.
It's just that...
my in-laws
are coming to town and...
it's Jaelyn's Little League
game on Saturday.
But I mean next weekend I'm free
and I could just tell Grace
that, you know,
I got stuff to do.
Sure.
Don't.
Don't what?
Don't look at me like that.
Look, I'll be here for you
next weekend.
I promise I'll be here
without fail.
- After Neil left,
- I couldn't fall asleep.
I just kept having this feeling
of impending doom.
I decided I couldn't afford
to wait.
I was in a plane
that was going down
and I needed to put on
my own oxygen mask.
I decided I wasn't going
to go home to see my family,
I wasn't going to go to Chuck's
party and drink myself blind,
I was gonna hunker down
at my place
and detox from alcohol.
Hello people!
Day 1: cold turkey.
I took my pill
and feeling great.
I dumped my stash and I'm
working on a list of things
I wanna do to stay busy.
For the first time in years
I actually feel the tiniest
bud of hope.
I am going to change my life.
After starting my detox, I was
so excited I was up all night.
I texted Neil to meet me
at the Rocky steps.
I was feeling great.
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Look at me go!
You did it.
I know.
I have just been thinking
about the 27 club and,
like, all the people who died
when they were 27, right?
Like Janis Joplin,
Amy Winehouse,
Kurt Cobain... Jimi
Hendrix, yeah. Jimi Hendrix.
And just like all the amazing
stuff that they had done
when they were 27 and then
they died and I was like,
"Oh, my God, if I die at 27,
I'm not gonna be in that club."
There's like no reason I would
ever be in that club.
I haven't done anything.
And normally that thought
would like really freak me out,
like I would be like oh, my God,
I'm not living up
to my potential,
I've just been like
waiting around.
Am I like fulfilled?
Am I happy?
Like all these different
questions, right? Mm-hm.
But like I don't feel
like that anymore.
Like I just don't
feel like that.
I feel really good.
Good. Good.
I feel amazing.
And I think the problem is,
is like we're
constantly waiting,
like oh, I'll start living
my life once I'm skinny,
once I'm rich, once I'm married,
once I'm whatever.
Yeah.
And you can't.
You can't just wait
for any of that stuff.
You have to just start doing it.
So last night I wrote
this bucket list
and I'm gonna do all of it.
I'm gonna do all of it this year
and you just helped me
with number 67.
"The Rocky steps."
This was... This was 67? Uh-huh.
What about 69?
G-g-good one.
Can I help you with that one?
Sure.
Yeah?
Yeah, no, 69 is, um, actually...
uh, make a meal
with my mother.
That's 69?
That's number 69.
I don't know,
I think we can do better.
Hi...
Hi.
Ooh, I like those earrings.
Thank you, I just got 'em,
actually.
They were like 30 percent off.
Yeah.
They look expensive.
You... You're at work,
obviously, right?
I am at work, uh-huh.
Um...
What're you doing?
Eating?
No, I just have coffee,
that's all.
Okay.
Um, uh, hey.
There's like a lot of stuff
this weekend
that I have to reschedule
some things, so...
Oh, my God, I can't believe
you're not coming.
That's not what I said.
I can't believe I defended you.
What?
Mom said that you'd pick him
over us and I said, "No, Mom..."
Wait, wait, wait, Lola!
Did you tell Mom about Chuck?
Yeah, I told her.
What the f...? I specifically
asked you not to!
I said that I would take care
of it!
Yeah, well you're obviously
not taking care of it.
I mean, you didn't
even call her, I called you.
Is that your sister? Yeah,
Mom. She's not coming at all.
Don't listen to her, Mom.
Hi, Mom.
- That's not what I said.
- Oh, my God.
That's not what I said.
What shall I tell your brother?
I didn't say I wasn't
gonna come!
I just can't stay
the entire weekend.
You decide and we'll arrange
the day around that.
It's your birthday, Julia.
Well, I have to go,
we can argue about this later.
Whatever.
You better call Max.
- Hey.
- Did you actually file
the pleadings for the Diaz
case? Because Chuck and I...
I tried to hold it together,
but things were unraveling.
Okay, just... Okay, calm down.
I'm sure that they're
here somewhere.
"Substandard"? I work
my ass off all the time!
I'm const... You know what?
Actually, it is... It is... I...
I will... I...
I've never seen her like that.
She was crying in the washroom
saying that everybody
was mad at her.
Luckily, Paul was there.
- Jules, hey.
- Oh, my God.
What's going on?
Hey, no, no, no.
- I'm sorry...
- What's going on?
It's alright, sorry for what?
Hey, look at me.
Everything is just a mess!
I wanted to tell him everything
but I was afraid he'd hate me.
Hey.
What's going on?
Go ahead, slut shame me,
but he was my rock in a storm
and I clung to him.
It's too cheesy to call her
a delicate flower
or something like that,
but I think...
I do think that she brought,
I don't know, there was
a fragrance about her,
if that's not too girly.
When she walked into a room,
everyone saw it.
It wasn't just me, I was just
lucky for that time to have it.
I don't know what else to say.
It's not for me to say, anyway.
But don't talk badly about her.
She's human and trying like
we all are.
So let's leave it at that.
After apologizing
about the file,
I had promised Chuck I'd go
with him to the Philly party.
You sure you don't want me
to add a shot
of vodka to that?
No, I'm sure.
Not to be confused with Chuck's
Memorial Day beach bash.
Anyway, it was the last place
I wanted to be.
But I convinced myself I'd go
and actually break it off
with Chuck
as part of cleaning house.
Hey, stop talking to them.
Talk to me.
- I am bored out of my mind.
- Oh, my God!
- Chuck Peruto!
- Grace.
- Hi!
- How are ya?
Good to see you.
Good to see you.
I don't think you guys
have met before.
This is my husband, Neil.
Finally. Oh, right.
Chuck and I served together
on Hope for the Holidays.
- Good to meet you.
- Good to meet you.
You work for
Larry Glinkowsky, right?
Yeah.
Larry and I go way,
way, way, way, way back.
Okay, okay.
- Yeah, good guy.
- Yeah.
Oh, God. I saw Arnie Milliken
the other day.
Cheap Suit Milliken.
Can I please take you upstairs
and ravage you right now?
Hey, what's wrong?
I'm tired of this.
I don't wanna do this anymore.
I'm sick of being
in a relationship
with Don frickin' Draper.
I've never loved any other woman
the way I love you.
Awesome.
Where does that leave me?
Huh?
You're always saying
that you love me,
you love me more than anything,
that I'm the person
that you want to be with,
but you could be with me.
You could be with me really
easily if you wanted to be.
But you're not.
I get you for like three hours
out of the week,
if I'm really lucky.
Seriously?
Congrats.
You're the worst.
Don't say that.
You didn't even introduce me.
Neither of you did.
You just acted like
I wasn't there.
Maybe I should go and introduce
myself to your lovely wife.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- No?
- No.
You think that you can have
whatever you want.
Just be however you wanna be.
You can't.
If my life is gonna be hell,
yours is gonna be hell, too.
Yeah? What does that mean?
You'll see.
As I watched Neil's wife walk
toward me I thought about
how I could blow up
her perfect world
in an instant.
I knew exactly where I was.
We were driving home
from a restaurant.
My parents were in town,
so they had the kids.
The news was on.
Someone was talking
about the girl
in Chuck Peruto's bathtub.
Everyone in Philly
was talking about it.
I asked Neil a question
and he didn't answer,
and when I looked over at him
he was crying.
Sobbing, actually.
He had to pull over.
And f...
Finally, he said to me,
"I need to tell you something."
And...
When he said that, I knew.
Apparently, it had been going on
for years...
and I had absolutely...
no idea.
Hey.
Hey.
Are you keeping secrets from me?
What're you talking about?
Well, Paul thinks
you're spending
your birthday with him.
I'm not... And without me.
Who's...?
I'm not... Oh, my God,
I don't wanna have
this fight with you.
This is just stupid.
You and I want different things.
Well, until this moment,
I thought we wanted
the same thing.
I want you,
and from what you tell me,
and from how you act when
we're alone, you want me.
Tell me the truth.
Are you two back together
or not?
Because last I heard,
you weren't even speaking.
Okay, I'm not with him,
I'm not getting back together,
I'm not sleeping with him
and I'm not spending my birthday
with him, okay?
Believe me or don't,
I don't really care.
Tell me... Tell me, what is it
that you want
that you think I don't I want.
You want a list?
Yes, I do.
Okay, here's a list of things
that you don't want that I do.
I want to have kids.
I want to have three kids.
I want to be
in a healthy relationship
with a functioning person.
So why is that different
from what I want?
Because it's exactly why
you broke up with Teri!
No, I broke up with Teri
because she's nuts.
I don't wanna have babies
with someone who's nuts, okay?
You wanna have kids? I'll
have kids with you tomorrow.
Don't joke about that, please.
That's so unfair.
I'm not joking.
What do you want me to do
to show you how crazy I am
for you?
What?
Or how perfect I think you are.
Don't say that.
You wanna get married?
Let's get married.
I mean it. I'd go
to the moon with you.
Okay, I'm... I can't stand
people talking about
how perfect I am all the time.
I'm not perfect,
I'm flawed, okay?
Okay, good.
I like your flaws.
You with flaws is ten times
better than the next girl.
Come here. Come here.
Chuck, there's... So what?
I don't care who sees.
I don't.
Stop.
I don't want to stop.
What is going on?
Oh, God.
Don't cause a scene here.
Oy, eh...
Don't cause a scene... Asshole!
Telling me there's
nothing going on!
Teri! Teri!
Acting like I'm crazy!
I was living dangerously.
I am not crazy!
Teri, stop!
I will kick your ass!
- Stop! Stop!
- Don't even look at me!
I am coming for you!
I knew better than to get
on the wrong side of Teri.
- Teri, let's go!
- No!
Chuckie Peruto doesn't
get married to anyone.
I don't think she knew
what the hell she was doing.
You're shaking like a leaf.
Take the friggin' drink.
Come on.
You know all that stuff you said
about me being perfect?
Well, I'm not.
There's just so much
about me that you don't know.
I know enough.
You don't.
You really don't.
I know that you're anorexic.
I'm not anorexic!
Bulimic, whatever.
You're a puker.
Jesus, did somebody
tell you that?
You wouldn't be the first girl
that's used that as a diet.
Did you know that I've been
to rehab not just for ED
but for alcohol as well?
And you think this is
gonna scare me away?
That I'm gonna go running?
When I said you're perfect
I meant you were perfect
for me, okay?
You don't wanna drink,
we don't drink.
You think I need drinking
to be fun?
Come on.
I'm fun.
I've helped a lot
of girls get sober.
Even Gia, for a bit.
Gia the model?
Trust me.
A.A., N.A.,
fill-in-the-blank A.
I've been through all of it
multiple times.
I told you about
my brother, right?
No, I didn't even know
you had a brother.
Kid brother, Joey.
He was an addict.
Pill head.
Quaaludes, mostly.
I sent him to rehab
and, uh, after a while,
he seemed to be
getting better and got out.
But then I didn't hear
from him for a few weeks.
He stopped returning
my calls, so I...
I went to his apartment
and I found him...
face down on the floor
in the bathroom,
covered in his own vomit.
And that was on me,
because I didn't see the signs.
I, uh...
I was too late.
Yeah, but it's not your fault.
Well...
It's not,
because you get
really, really good
at hiding it.
Make sure you don't see it,
make sure no one at work sees,
make sure no one
in my family sees it
and... it's
just so exhausting.
Everything
that you like about me
and everything you know
about me is
just based on nothing,
like I'm...
I feel like I'm nothing
and if you really knew
who I was, you'd just...
If you knew the real me,
you wouldn't love me.
None of what you just told me,
none of it,
changes anything, okay?
Because I've never felt
so much so fast
for somebody.
Nobody, okay?
You got it?
You want to get off
the sauce, fine.
I'll help you get off the sauce.
Is that a deal?
Yeah.
We... We put her through
this program,
a rehab program,
and she did so well, you know?
She was strong
and she was smiling again
and she was eating, and...
And she, you know,
she looked good.
She was such a sweet,
sensitive girl.
Yeah, uh, make sure
the Bayside condo
is already aired out.
Put on the ceiling fans and,
um, you know, open the windows.
Yeah.
No, I'm leaving
in a few minutes.
Alright, thanks.
Alright, gorgeous.
Keys to the manor.
Mm.
I want you to eat.
Relax.
Oh, that tub,
imported from Italy,
it cost me ten grand...
I've never been in it.
Get naked, get in it,
and think of me.
I have a big special surprise
for you when you come
to the beach.
Oh, yeah? Heh.
Do you have any, uh,
jewelry on this...?
Ah. Empty.
Good.
That's not funny.
I'm not trying to be funny.
Stop.
Hey.
Look at this face.
I wanna know
what you're gonna do
for the next 30 years.
I'm serious.
No, you're not.
Oh yeah, I am.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
You're smiling.
See? I can
still surprise you.
Hey, don't worry about
your mom, by the way.
All the ladies hate me.
Until they meet me.
Then they love my ass.
You know what?
I'm gonna send
a Hummer limo to your house.
We'll bring the whole family,
bring 'em to my party.
Are you kidding me?
It's got a hot tub in it.
One glass of champagne, that's
for the toast to celebrate.
And then it's Martinelli's
the whole rest
of the night, okay?
Mm-hm.
- Okay?
- Okay.
- Alright.
- Okay.
Oh, also, by the way,
if you bail on me,
they are gonna need to use
your dental records
to identify you.
Okay!
I promise.
That was a little
after 11:00 p.m.
Well, he says he left
around 11:00,
but I have a friend
who says that they know someone
who definitely heard them
fighting after midnight.
You know, I don't wanna
have this conversation.
- You're not going anywhere.
- Let go of me!
- It's my life!
- Hey!
How about this?
Chuck heads for Margate,
and suddenly, on his way there,
he realizes he's
forgotten something.
The gossips imagined
all kinds of crazy scenarios.
Chuck walking in on me
and Paul, me and Angie.
Some even had us hooking up
in a menage-a-trois
with Chuck coming in for that
shirt at an inopportune moment.
Some people thought Chuck
was definitely guilty,
but they didn't believe
he actually
did the deed himself.
They speculated that
he probably called in a favor
and had one of his goombah
clients snuff me out.
Some people suggested
I had a secret lover.
Fans of presumed innocent
had a different theory.
They imagine Neil's wife
tracked me down
and bashed my head in
after she discovered that
I'd been having an affair
with her husband.
I suppose there would have been
some poetic justice in that.
But the night I died,
I didn't see her
or Paul or Angie or Teri,
or even Darren Jones,
the guy who roofied me.
The night I died,
I had no bruises,
cuts, or contusions.
There was no blood on the floor.
None of those theories are true.
The night I died,
Chuck was 80 miles away
in Avalon, New Jersey,
at a bar with about
100 alibi witnesses,
while Neil was at home
watching his kids.
I was at Chuck's, alone.
Now, this is where things
get murky,
because from this point
until approximately 10:00 a.m.,
when Zulma found me dead
in the tub,
not one of the people
the police interviewed
admitted to seeing me.
From forensics reports
and texts I sent,
police know
that the night I died,
I made and ate a healthy salad.
I watched 8 Mile,
the Home Shopping Network,
a nature special,
a horror movie,
and some
girl-on-girl prison porn.
The thing about
text messages, though,
is police can pinpoint where
the person who's texting is,
based on which cell tower
gets pinged.
The night I died,
I did a lot of texting.
I think everybody knows
who she was talking to,
what she was doing...
Everyone except me, so...
I could be a schmuck,
but I know who he is.
I thought they were friends.
I didn't know that anything else
was going on.
It was before me, and I...
Apparently during.
So what?
Bathtub murders
are really hard to prove,
especially if someone's
drugged or had been drinking,
and according to the coroner's
report, the night I died,
I had a mix of Xanax, Klonopin,
Valium, Vyvanse and Lexapro
in my bloodstream,
and I consumed somewhere
between 10 and 12 shots
of hard liquor,
which means,
despite all of my best efforts
to go cold turkey,
the last night of my life
I got seriously hammered.
I was never with anyone
like her.
Ever.
There's been other women,
why not?
I was never, ever with anyone
like her.
I wanna be very clear
about that.
The one thing that people
don't know about Julia is...
is that she was really funny.
Hello, my name is...
Le Bouquet.
Oh, bonjour,
Monsieur Le Bouquet.
Uh, comment ca va?
I actually don't speak French.
I mean, this woman, she popped.
I mean, she just...
She was... She was like
a little stick of dynamite.
I tried everything
I could to calm down.
Nothing helped.
I wish she would have told me
how much pain
she was going through.
She was an amazing woman.
I would have done anything
for her.
Uh, so I did
the Amy Winehouse look
that I found online.
Um, it's kind of a little bit,
like, festive I guess.
Oh, my God, I can't believe
how much I'm sweating.
One shot.
I took this ten days
before she died.
I told her if she didn't
feel safe detoxing on her own,
to wait a week
until I was available.
But Julia said
she couldn't wait.
That next week
would be too late.
I was doing a pretty good job
keeping myself distracted
and things were going well.
But remember how I mentioned
the horrific side effects
you can experience
when you try to stop drinking?
What a stupid
plan, detoxing alone.
I started to hallucinate.
You're such an idiot.
Yeah, really good idea.
You're going
to give yourself a stroke!
If they care, why aren't
they here?
There are demons in the walls,
watching you.
They hate you.
They hate you.
Everybody hates you.
Nobody cares about you.
They don't love you.
They just say that so they can
sleep with you.
Because they feel sorry for you.
I'm going to kill you...
Everybody hates you!
You're fat and ugly.
Look at your pores.
Look at yourself.
Look at your pores.
Pour another glass.
You're a poor girl.
Look at you, you poor...
You poor girl. Poor girl.
You poor thing.
Look at you.
You poor...
Selfish.
Nobody loves you.
Nobody even cares about you.
You're going to die.
You're such a little idiot!
Who's ready to party?
You are. I know.
Whoop.
At meetings, they always say
it's important not to isolate.
The night I died,
I left 15 voicemail messages...
It's Jules from...
sent 82 texts,
and uploaded four videos.
And welcome to my cooking show.
It is carrots today.
This is Julia Law...
Oh, ha-ha-ha.
So much for my anonymity.
Can you call me back?
It works if you work it,
and you're worth it, right?
Hey, Paul.
Hello?
Hey, Siri, what's
the meaning of life?
I sent messages to Chuck, Neil,
Paul, Angie,
and while they all
texted at various times
throughout the night,
nobody came.
But for all my attempts
at reaching out,
only one call was answered.
Hello?
Devon?
Who is this?
It's Jules. From rehab.
Oh, my God, hi!
How are you?
I'm... I'm okay,
I just was like...
I was just thinking about you
and wondering how you were.
Oh, that's so nice.
Um, well, as a matter of fact,
I'm on my way to my honeymoon.
Really?
Heh. Crazy, right?
We got married today.
Wow.
So is the guy you're marrying
an addict as well?
Um, it's a girl actually,
and no.
She's totally sober. She's a...
She's a social worker.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- Oh, cool.
this is the final boarding
call for Flight...
Yeah, you sound
like you're busy.
You must be really busy.
Uh, yeah, um, I'm about
to get on the plane.
So, um, Jules,
is everything okay?
Uh...
I don't feel very good.
I just... I've been...
trying to reach out,
but I can't...
I'm so sorry, Jules.
I'm having a really hard time
hearing you.
Can you say that again?
I can't.
It's super loud in here.
Um, I'm sorry, I'm not sure
if you're talking or not,
I can't hear you.
I'll be back in a few weeks.
How about if I call you
as soon as I get back, okay?
Did I find the end?
Thought I'd died again
I've been waiting on a friend
To take me home
Take me home
All my blood's run cold
Time is not my own
I've been sailing and I heard
The call to shore
The call to shore
Pull me when I get
Too far away
Be my anchor, come on
Make me stay
When all the world around me
Is about to break
Say that you're not
Gonna let me fade
Did I say goodbye?
With a fateful cry
I was caught between
The chaos and the light
And the light
Call me when I get
Too far away
Be my anchor, come on
Make me stay
When all the world around me
Is built to break
Say that you're not gonna
Let me fade away
Away
Away
Did I find the end?
Thought I'd died again
It's a thin line between
the living and the dead.
Autopsy officials decided
that it was impossible
to pinpoint the exact
cause of death.
But the grand jury investigation
was eventually concluded,
no charges were ever filed.
I might have drowned,
or died of alcohol poisoning,
or had a seizure from mixing
benzos and alcohol.
It might have been accidental
or on purpose.
Nobody could say for sure.
They pretty much ruled out
foul play,
but in some parts
of the Internet,
people still wonder.
They search my old Facebook page
or scour my Instagram for likes.
They try to imagine the person
behind the headline.
They try to unravel
the mystery...
of me.
Time is not my own
I have been sailing
And I heard
The call to shore
The call to shore
Pull me when I get
Too far away
Be my anchor, come on
Make me stay
When all the world around me
Is built to break
Say that you're not gonna
Let me fade
I'm just sucking down
this caramel... frappucino.
It's disgusting.
Uh, I just wanted to tell you
that I love you and I miss you
and I crave you more than,
well, definitely more than this,
but more than chocolate
or crack cocaine,
and that even when I'm dead
and I'm in the ground
and getting eaten by worms,
I will still love you
because love never dies.
Mwah!
I miss you
and I love you
and I'm here for you
and I will see you soon.
After I died, this video got
more than two million views.
I imagine people who Google
a dead person
or watch movies about them
are looking for clues.
They keep clicking because
they wanna know the person
behind the headline.
They wanna know what
you were really like.
If you were good or bad.
Naughty or nice.
In my case, people wanna know
how I ended up dead
three days before my 27th
birthday in the bathtub
of prominent Philadelphia
defense attorney, Chuck Peruto,
who also happened to be my boss.
Somebody once said publicity
is like sex.
When it's good, it's great,
and when it's bad
it's still pretty good.
In Philly, Chuck gets
a lot of publicity.
Chuck was basically known
for two things:
defending murderers
and mobsters in court,
and dating gorgeous girls
half his age.
Girls like me.
The day after I died, Chuck
posted that I was an angel
who God took too soon,
which is nice,
but not exactly true.
I was a lot of things,
but I was definitely no angel.
Zulma, Chuck's property manager,
was the one who found me.
Hello?
Solomon?
Yeah.
Do you have my shirt?
Chuck sends Zulma
to retrieve his shirt
from his condo
in Rittenhouse Square,
while Chuck was down
on the shore hosting
his infamous Memorial Day
beach bash in Margate.
What...?
From beginning, the shirt
business seemed fishy.
He's down on the shore.
Why is a guy
so desperate for his shirt?
It's human nature to want
to solve the mystery,
but, like a crystal prism, you
hold any life up to the light,
and different colors emerge.
They found a dead girl in
Chuck's Peruto's bathtub.
- Oh, my God.
- I just read it on Facebook.
In the days and weeks
after my death,
cops, journalists,
documentarians
and armchair detectives
will scour my Facebook page,
my online posts,
and my YouTube channel,
trying to figure out
what happened to me.
Lola, hon, can you grab that?
Yeah, hang on.
On local talk shows
and newsmagazines,
they'll call me
a raven-haired beauty
with a Mona Lisa smile.
A sweetheart. A slut.
Party central.
People will speculate
and gossip in every bar,
party and dining room
in the city.
What?
M... Mom?
They found Julia.
What...?
An autopsy will be conducted,
they'll interview co-workers,
lovers, friends and family,
and just like when I used
to obsess over interviews,
autopsy reports
and conspiracy theories,
now strangers obsess over me...
The girl in Chuck Peruto's
bathtub.
Because while everybody
in Philly knew Chuck Peruto...
nobody really knew me.
I was madly in love with her.
What possible reason
would I have to kill her?
Whoo!
Happy graduation, Angie!
Hey, there's my boss!
Hey, you guys.
Wow.
Last time Teri got this drunk,
tables were thrown.
- Do you think I should intervene?
- No.
Chuck could use a few dents
in that giant head of his.
I overheard him talking
to Spencer saying
that he's in love with you.
No, you didn't.
That didn't happen.
Okay, from my desk at reception
I see everything.
I don't need Chuck falling
in love with me.
Look at how scary Teri is.
She looks like she could
throw me out a window
without even blinking.
Yeah.
And also, he's 58.
I'll be 27 next week.
I'm way too old for him.
Yeah, but you're Mary Poppins.
Oh, come on.
A spoonful of sugar!
Okay, alright, alright, alright.
No, no, no, no, no.
You two are planning something
here right now, I can tell.
Yeah, a hostile takeover
of your corner office.
Is that it?
Fine. You take it.
I'm done with that view.
So then, boss, you know,
I have my degree,
you think I can get that raise?
Oh, yeah, maybe he'll bump you
up to $7.50 an hour.
Hardee-har-har.
A couple of cards here, I see.
Yeah, just short of a full deck,
otherwise we wouldn't be
working for you.
I like when you're sassy.
We knew Chuck
would go for Julia
the moment she walked in.
She's totally his type.
Long, dark hair, super skinny.
Angie, congratulations,
this is your day.
I think you know how proud
I am of you.
Happy graduation.
I have to go
and make an appearance
at my nephew's.
Thank you so much for coming.
And um, ahem, don't forget
that raise.
Right this way.
So did you actually get
your nephew anything?
Uh, yeah. Yeah.
I mean, Zulma did, picked out
a train or something.
Oh, that's thoughtful of you.
- Wasn't it?
- Yeah.
Why's Teri so pissed?
She called me last night
and said she wants
to get back together.
Oh, and what did you say?
I said yeah.
I told her I'm seeing somebody.
Why did you do that?
You're gonna make
my life miserable.
I didn't mention any names.
I know. Wait...
For a few weeks there,
Chuck was definitely into me.
- Did you check out that game last night?
- Yeah.
- Flyers almost did it.
- They lost in overtime.
Call me later.
I can't stay up there very long.
Well, they have a pill
for that now.
Oh, Julia Law, ladies
and gentlemen, give it up.
Mm, I'll be here all week.
Unlike some people I don't have
a problem with staying power.
You're killing me.
You're killing me.
Okay, well can you go
before Teri comes in here
and kicks my ass, please?
She better not touch that ass.
Also... you are gorgeous.
You know that?
My God, you are so gorgeous.
Chuck went on local news
proclaiming he never laid
a hand on me,
which is not exactly true. Heh.
We had the perfect relationship.
I wanted to marry her.
I did.
So while everybody was obsessed
with the romance
between me and Chuck,
there were other people the cops
should have interviewed...
Other people
that had plenty
of reason to want me dead.
Hey.
Hey, welcome back.
Uh, I'm headed out.
I just want to tell you
how great you look.
But then you always do.
That's not true, but thank you.
I actually wanted
to ask you, um,
how's your grandma?
Oh, she's, uh,
yeah, hospice
is there now, so...
Oh, my... I didn't realize
it had gotten that bad.
I'm so sorry, Paul.
She's pretty doped up
on morphine, so...
That sucks.
Yeah, other than that,
just trying to stay busy.
Yeah, Chuck said
that Schuster got off
with a slap on the wrist,
which is amazing.
Yeah. He's pretty happy.
Mm-hm. I bet.
How about you?
Are things good?
Uh, yeah.
I uh... I feel great.
Um, I'm just trying to be
healthy and I'm quitting smoking
and quitting midnight runs
to Daily Doughnuts.
Doughnuts? Yeah?
You know about that.
I do.
Unlike most guys in this town,
Paul wasn't a player.
And while he could come off
as a little dull
or plain vanilla,
when you got close to him,
he was a really
nice, smart, sensitive guy.
It's like the methadone clinic.
For pets.
Hey, I'm really sorry that
things ended the way they did.
It's not your fault.
You know, all the stuff
that you said about,
you know, being messed up.
Everyone's got problems.
Everybody.
Not you.
Yeah, I do.
I just think maybe...
maybe it's easier to work
through that stuff
when you're with somebody
who loves you.
Yeah, maybe.
Do you have plans
for your birthday?
Yeah, I'm gonna bury my head
in the sand
and pretend it's not happening.
You're 27, you're a baby.
You're a baby.
My mom invited me
to come home for it.
Wow. That's
progress, right?
That... Whoa.
Yeah, no, it's good.
It is good.
I really wanna see
my little brother.
I haven't seen him in forever.
Lola posted this video
of him in this, like,
really cute penguin costume
and I've watched it
no less than 200 times.
Uh...
Fair enough.
Well, if you don't go
and see the adorable penguin,
can I buy you dinner?
I gotta fly to Chicago tomorrow,
but I'm back Thursday.
I'll take you to Aria
for old time's sake.
Yeah. I would like that.
I missed you.
I missed you, too.
I did miss him.
The year Paul and I
were together
was probably the best year
of my life.
He was nice to me.
My family loved him.
He was smart and stable
and honestly, super boring.
Thank you for the ride.
Until Thursday.
- Ignore all the sounds...
- Yeah, don't worry.
I'm about to make.
Bye.
Everyone who knew him, though,
thought Paul was
a really good guy.
But what if he found out
I was sleeping with Chuck
before Chuck called him in to
tell him I was dead in his tub?
Could he have been
the quintessential nice guy
who suddenly snaps?
She was a friend and she was
a very good person.
That's all I'm gonna say
about it, alright?
I'm not comfortable talking
about somebody that's not here
to defend herself, and frankly,
I'm getting a little tired of
you guys following me around
asking me about it, okay?
Talking about it's not gonna
change what happened
and it's really tough
to move forward
and put things behind you
when you got somebody
sticking a camera in your face
asking you questions about it,
so have a little respect.
Alright? I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
Let me tell you something.
You wanna know the real reason
that they're gonna convene
the grand jury?
'Cause there's nobody out there
that believes that I killed her.
It's this Ratsinger, the D.A.,
otherwise known as "the rat",
fat prick, he's doing this
just to get back at me
for all the times
I made him look like
an asshole in court,
and trust me, it's a lot.
So now you've got Ratsinger,
who's jerkin' off the cops
and the whole time
whoever did this?
They're free.
And you're talking to me now?
Oh, my...
- Hi.
- Hi.
Here's the truth.
I liked Chuck but he was
way too old for me,
and Paul was a super nice guy
but he was kinda boring.
The true undisputed love
of my life
was a guy totally unknown
to both Chuck and Paul,
a guy the cops found out about
but never interviewed.
His name was Neil,
and he broke my heart
about a million times.
Who are you texting?
Chuck...
'cause he asked me to stay over.
- I'm jealous.
- Good.
You should be.
You know I hate leaving
you alone, you know that, right?
What I knew was that Neil
was married with three kids
and I was in love with him.
I also knew there was no way
we were ever gonna be together,
not like normal people.
Okay, well, I'm gonna go
be not alone with Chuck
'cause he acts like he actually
wants to be around me.
Sound good?
Mm.
I hate every minute
that we're apart,
you know that, right?
I just hate you.
That wasn't true
and we both knew it.
I just liked to hurt him
a little sometimes
the way he hurt me
without even trying.
What do you think? This one?
This guy?
A thong...
- You're not going anywhere.
- No, I'm going...
Heh. You're the one
who has to leave.
Funny.
We, uh, we met at a bar.
She was complimenting me
on my old fashioned.
She's like, "There's something
about a man
that drinks an old fashioned"
and I was like, well, okay.
I'll take that.
And we just started
to uh, get into conversation.
It was... It felt like we had
known each other for so long,
it was just instant.
We just...
We just clicked, you know?
Um, and, uh,
she happened to be
going my way and I gave her
a ride home and we just kept
in touch from there.
It's hard not to wonder what if.
Maybe if things had been
different between me and Neil,
and if I hadn't decided
to go to Chuck's,
maybe what happened that night
never would have happened.
- Hey.
- Hey, how's it going?
It's good.
Um, I actually just wanted
to check and see if anyone
had handed in
some, like, Ray-Ban aviators?
I'm not sure, but I can check
in the office for you.
Okay, that'd be great.
- That sucks.
- Yeah, I know.
I left brand a new Phillies hat
at the movies a few weeks ago,
I go back like five minutes
later to get it
and the cleaning crew guy
is like, "I don't know, man,
I haven't seen it."
I go back the next day
the dude's wearing my hat.
That's insane!
Right?
Did you say anything to him?
Well, I...
You just let him keep it.
I think that was his scam.
Yeah, bummer.
I wonder how many hats
that guy has.
A lot.
Uh, you want?
Uh, sure. Why not?
That's nice looking stuff.
Are you celebrating?
Yeah. I just met you, so...
Oh, isn't that nice?
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Uh, you live around here?
Just around the corner.
What about you?
Yeah, just moved
into the neighborhood.
Oh, yeah?
How are you finding it?
It's awesome.
It's good, right?
There's like a lot of good bars
and restaurants and stuff.
This is all we got.
Uh, yeah. That's not them.
Uh, okay, can I just give you
my phone number
and if they show up
you can just call me?
What guy in his right mind
would say no to that?
Do you remember when you left
them here? Yeah, it was last night
so I'm guessing
someone swiped 'em.
- We'll make sure we look.
- Alright, well...
if I come back and
you're wearing them,
I won't do anything about it,
but please don't.
- Okay, nice seeing you.
- Uh, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute.
Where are you going?
I don't even know your name.
I'm actually gonna go meet
somebody right now.
Oh. Okay.
I'm sorry.
Oh.
Sorry. But thank you
for the champagne,
that was really nice of you.
If you're keeping track at home
so far we have Chuck my boss,
Teri, his ex-girlfriend,
Paul my ex-boyfriend,
and Neil, my married lover.
Oh, and then there was
the creep who roofied me.
That was a pretty
crazy night, right?
Uh, shower only, actually.
There's another bathroom
down the hall.
If you've never been roofied,
and I hope to God you haven't,
it's the weirdest feeling
in the world.
I felt like I had died
and been dragged
back to life by my hair.
Everything hurt.
I have to go home.
My phone's dead, I...
I don't have a car.
Oh, yeah, no, well...
let me get you an Uber.
You can just get me back.
What's your address?
And in weather,
it's a beautiful day
out there today.
A high of 92...
No, no, no!
How many times is this now?
Three?
In three months?
Yeah, I'm really sorry.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Are you okay?
No.
I think he took my keys.
Can you come over?
Jules, listen to me.
You gotta call the cops,
alright?
I can't call the cops.
Excuse me.
Who are you with?
What're you doing?
I'm... I'm just uh,
I'm at a lighting...
Can you just come over?
I don't understand
why you can't just come over.
I'm with my kids.
Can Angie come stay with you?
No, her family's in town.
How about Susan?
She's not talking to me.
What? Since when?
Since she yelled at me
and said she wasn't going
to be my enabler anymore.
I'm such a shit show.
Can you just say something?
Can you just tell me
that you love me or something?
Baby, I love you. I do.
And I wish I could be there
right now with you,
kissing you, holding you
in my arms
and making you feel good.
I can't believe this happened
to you.
Babe, I can't see you anymore.
Huh?
I can't see your beautiful face.
- Did you pause me?
- No.
I had been lurking
on a recovery site
that offered support.
I posted on their forums
a few times.
But I wasn't very good
at reaching out.
This might sound weird,
but sometimes I felt like
Amy was watching over me,
like God.
When I finally woke up a
full day later, late for work,
I was pretty sure the painting
of Amy winking at me
was a hallucination,
compliments of the roofie
and the wine I downed
to fall asleep.
Hey.
Well, hello...
- What?
- You, Paul, Saturday?
I knew you were gonna say that
and that's not...
Ladies. This needs to get
filed today on the Diaz case.
Oh, okay.
I just have to finish
another pleading for Chuck
then I'll do it.
Did I get it?
Yeah?
- Oh, hey.
- We're all going to Retro.
After work, okay?
Oh, okay.
The Peruto party train
was a fun ride.
It was hard not to jump on.
But I barely slept three hours
at a stretch.
I was struggling to keep up.
This girl was... person,
excuse me, ladies...
Uh, a physical specimen,
an Olympic athlete,
a triathlete, whatever.
And it seemed to me, I could
admire that if it was on the top
of Mount Olympus,
but at the downtown Y,
- it just seemed...
- The Y?
- What?
- Nothing. Just the Y, yeah.
Chuck can't handle strong women
is what he's trying to say.
Maybe I just like something
more real.
That is why he spent six months
trying to convince me
- to get a boob job.
- You must be talking about somebody else.
Real, Chuck? I mean, we all know
you can't handle real.
Hey, babe.
What's the matter?
I feel like I'm having
a heart attack.
You want me to take you
to the hospital?
I can't breathe, though.
I feel like...
I think I might pass out.
Well, you want me to take you
home or what?
Mm-mm. This is a...
This is a panic attack!
I've had them before,
this is just really bad.
Okay. You'll be alright,
just breathe.
Can we go get a drink?
Look, what that guy did was sick
and illegal,
and you should call the cops...
No, I don't want to talk
to the cops.
I have enough going on
in my head
without a guilt trip from you.
Please.
I'm not trying
to guilt trip you.
I don't have anything
to tell the cops.
If I go to them, I don't know
this dude's name,
I don't know anything about him,
so if I go all we're gonna have
to talk about is me
and I don't particularly
want my life
under a microscope right now.
- I understand.
- No, you don't. I know
you want to but
you really don't understand.
Okay, when I woke up this
morning, my phone was dead,
so he called me a car which
means he knows where I live
and he has my keys.
-Maybe the cops could trace...
-No, I'm not gonna talk to the cops, okay?!
Alright, um... I'm sorry.
Um...
No, I'm sorry.
You've been through a lot.
We'll get you a room.
You can relax, have a hot bath.
You'll feel better.
Sometimes Neil could be
so good to me.
Okay.
Whether he was good for me
is another question.
Yeah, hi.
Yeah, my name is Neil,
I'm a friend of Julia Law's,
she's a tenant in your building.
Apparently, somebody
has the keys to her place
and we'd like to get
the locks changed.
Wondering if you could
help us out.
Yeah, yeah.
As soon as possible, actually.
Look, I know you got
a whole building to manage
and that new locks
are expensive, but...
It's not going to cost anything
so what's the problem?
No, no, I get it, I get it,
but how about this?
How about I send in my
locksmith, he'll change the locks,
no cost to you
and give you the master?
Neil was a really good daddy.
He knew how to take charge
and make everything better.
Yeah, no, she'll rest easier
that way.
Yeah.
Great.
Great, thank you,
thank you very much.
Done.
Yeah?
The locksmith will be
at your place
first thing in the morning.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I do appreciate it.
I'm sorry
that you had to do
all of this. It's just...
Sorry? What do you got to be
sorry about?
I don't know, it's just
not your problem.
Hey, hey.
I like doing things for you.
Yeah?
Yes, I do.
Now, what else...
can I do for you?
I don't know.
I was doing so good.
I was tapering my drinking
and now I've had all this
friggin' vodka and wine
and I still can't calm down.
Shh. Hey, hey.
I think I know how
to make you relax.
Okay...
You should probably
take this off.
I think I'm a little
overdressed.
I think so.
- You wear it.
- Me?
Yeah. Sexy.
Oh, right here...
No. Ooh. On a leash...
I wish you could
just hold me forever.
I wish that was your job,
was just to,
like, hold me like this.
You're the only person
who really loves me.
Oh, come on now, we both know
that's not true.
It is true.
Everyone who's ever loved me
has left me.
Okay, that sounds melodramatic,
but it's kinda true.
My nana and grandpa,
my dog Snuffy.
I just wanna stay here.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Hey.
Aw, hi, baby girl.
You getting ready to go
to sleep?
Yeah?
Alright, big kiss. Mwah.
Ready for the squeeze?
Arrrr.
Alright, baby.
Alright, goodnight, sweetie.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm still here
stuck with a client.
How's it going there?
Well, maybe we can talk
to her together tomorrow.
I should be able to get out
of here within the hour.
Yeah, see you soon.
So am I your client?
You are my boss.
Oh.
In that case,
you can't go,
otherwise you're fired.
No, I have to.
Do you think you could just stay
with me until I fall asleep?
Trust me, I would love to,
but I gotta go.
Your wife yanks on your leash
and then you have to leave?
Don't.
I'm not your boss,
she's your boss.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Yeah.
Hey, come on.
Don't be like that, alright?
I'll call you tomorrow.
Wait.
I'll make it up
to you, I promise.
Yeah, we, uh, talked about me
leaving my wife.
Julia told me not to.
She said that...
her life got really
messed up when her father left
and so she didn't want
that to happen to my kids.
That's just how she was.
She had her problems, but...
she had a huge heart.
I always hated sleeping alone.
Sometimes I'd wake up
in the middle of the night
unable to move
and I'd be so frightened.
I'd see things
and I'd hear things
that were so incredibly vivid.
I was never sure
what was real
and what was a dream.
I was caught in a vicious cycle.
I'd drink to fall asleep,
and then have nightmares
because of the booze
that were so real,
it sent me right back
to drinking.
- Okay.
- Oh!
You're all set.
Okay, thank you.
Oh, my God!
Goddamn it!
Hey, Angie, I gotta
run to court.
- Can you cover for me?
- Spencer was looking for you!
No, I know, it's just I made
this huge mistake
and I don't wanna lose
my job over this.
- I'm sorry.
- Okay...
You can just change
the numbers on the stamp
to yesterday's date.
I won't tell anybody.
Come on, dude.
I've had people do this
for me before.
I have come to this office and
they have literally done this
- for me before.
- I've got a line of people, okay?
If you want to file it, we can
stamp it with today's date.
Please, come on! I just need
this one... What is this for you?
Is this like a tiny little slap
on the wrist or something?
- Just like stamp this.
- Come on, man...
Okay, fine.
Stamp it with...
Amazing.
You're incredible. You're...
spectacular.
Thank you so much.
You have a great day.
Yeah, thank you.
Julia?
- Oh, Brooke!
- Hi!
God, I was just thinking
about you.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
I heard you're working
for Chuck Peruto.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I went to law school with Chuck.
He's great, as long as you're
not on the opposing side.
Yeah.
Totally.
- Um, so how are you?
- God.
Really busy, my little guy's
in preschool,
you know, walking, talking,
super chatty just like his mom.
Yeah! That's amazing.
God, it's great to see you.
We should grab a coffee.
Yeah, I'd love that.
That would be fun.
Yeah, and listen, if you need
a recommendation
for law school or anything...
Oh, that's so nice of you.
I'm not being nice.
You were the best intern
I ever had.
Chuck is lucky to have
snagged you.
So will you call me?
I will.
I will definitely call you.
I'm so glad that I ran into you.
Yeah, we'll talk to you soon.
- Great, I'll call you, okay?
- Okay.
Running into Brooke
on the street
shook something loose in me.
When I was interning for her,
helping others through my work
seemed possible.
I wanted that feeling again.
Online, I read up on how
to taper off on drinking.
I made a list of supplements
and teas to help me sleep.
I was determined
to clean up my act.
$93.78.
But for some of us, as much
as we want that good life,
as much as we reach out for it,
and almost hold it in our hands,
somehow we always come up empty.
I think someone stole my wallet.
Don't worry about it.
Just take the yogurt.
We've all been there.
Like...
Don't worry.
Thank you. I'll...
I'll get you on the next one.
No worries.
Thanks.
We'll send
that new card right out.
In the meantime,
I'd just like to verify
some recent purchases
at Thrifty Liquor.
We show $36.90 on the 7th,
$42.12 on the 8th.
Wait, okay. What...
Where was the one on the 8th?
Uh, the 8th was also at Thrifty.
Andrews, really...
- Okay, I gotta call you back.
- He looks like a clown.
He looks like a circus clown.
What's going on?
Anyway, never beat me
on one count, never will again.
- And the winner is...
- Boom!
My guy got acquitted by the jury
and he should have been indicted
for manslaughter at least.
Great.
Yeah. Heh.
Hey, wait.
Uh, congratulations.
- I want to ask you about something.
- Oh, please do.
I'm having difficulties with...
Look at you.
You're so happy.
-Okay, relax...
-Big day.
You're having a good day.
It's gonna get better.
It's about to get better.
Okay, so did you actually want
to talk to me, or did you...?
Yes. Your lips
taste like honey.
I know you've been
told that before.
Is that true?
Mm-hm. Constantly.
There's a whole
blog dedicated to it.
Okay, enough!
We can't do this in here!
Stop!
They're gonna hear us out there.
You have to stop.
Come on.
What?
Okay.
Hey, hey...
We can't do this here.
Come on...
We can do anything we want.
What if someone walks in?
I also don't want everyone
here thinking of me like this.
Please.
My house, ten minutes.
Yes. Okay.
I'll leave after you.
Okay...
Don't keep me waiting.
Whew.
My sister didn't love Chuck.
I mean, she liked his lifestyle
and she liked the attention,
but down deep she knew
he was no good for her.
She just couldn't end it.
You know, I'm gonna be 27
on Monday.
What?
Yeah. Heh.
Why didn't you tell me that?
Oh, was I supposed to put it
in your calendar?
Yeah.
Abso-freaking-lutely.
We gotta celebrate.
I'm gonna fly you down
after my party to Miami.
Yeah, I can't come
to your party.
What're you talking about?
What do you mean you can't come
to my party?
It's not even a question
that you're coming to my party.
Okay?
You don't come, you're fired.
I mean...
Oh, my God.
Seriously, why can't
you come to my party?
I have to go spend
my birthday with my family.
I haven't seen them in forever
and my brother's making me a cake,
I don't want to disappoint him.
Alright. Whoa... Whoa...
Wait...
They live in Absecon, right?
Yes.
Okay, so, uh,
you go celebrate
with your family
and I'll send a car.
Come down to Margate.
How easy was that?
You'd do that?
It's already done.
You want me there that badly?
It's not a party
without the party girl.
Oh, my God.
Who're you texting?
- Hi.
- Hi.
I was just gonna call you.
Are you coming in
Friday or Saturday?
'Cause I can pick you up
at the station if you want.
Yeah. That's why I called,
because, um...
Oh, my God, do not tell me
you're bailing.
Will you relax, I'm not bailing.
Thank God, because
I'd have to kill you.
You know, Max has blown up
like 1,000 balloons already.
Okay, it's just, Chuck is
giving me like a lot of flack
for not coming to his party.
Why is Chuck giving you flack?
Are you his caterer now?
It's not like that.
It's not like what?
Okay, just like
don't freak out, but, um...
What?
We've kind of started
seeing each other.
Okay, that's a joke right?
Oh, my God, you don't even
know him!
You could have Paul.
Paul is like the kind of guy
that every woman would
just like kill for.
Why would you want to trade him
in for the Cult of Chucky?
I didn't ask for him to for him
to like fall in love with me,
but it's... Oh, my God.
He said he's in love with you?
Seriously?
Don't tell Mom either!
I'm going to handle it!
Just don't say anything to Mom.
Fine.
Are you gonna tell Max
that you're not coming?
I didn't say I wasn't coming!
This is unbelievable!
You're unbelievable!
Okay. Thanks for nothing! I
don't know why I bother with you.
So are you coming?
Yes, I'm coming! Goodbye!
I can go to family functions
and remember them.
And have a good time, but it
wasn't always like that. Sorry...
You know, my dad would
piss me off and I'd be like,
"Oh, I'll show you."
My mom would yell at me, boom.
Drink.
F you, Ma, right?
So I was drinking at people
for years,
trying to feel better,
which really means feel less,
and it didn't matter
what it was.
Booze, drugs, sex, food.
It's all the same thing.
My addict will literally
try anything
to fill this gaping hole
inside of me
and she won't stop
until I'm dead.
I thought it was good, yeah.
I thought it was good.
Yeah, I know.
Hi, I'm sorry, I don't mean
to interrupt.
Hi, by the way,
It's nice to see you.
Good to see you.
It's been a really long time.
Um, I just wanted to say
like that was really helpful,
your share, it was super
relatable and it's...
It's been a really crazy period
for me right now
because like I've been drinking
just to fall asleep and if I try
to stop I start having
these really terrible
panic attacks and I feel like...
I feel like I'm gonna
have a heart attack,
like I feel like my heart is
just beating through my chest
and I've been trying all these
different things and it's...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's just really hard
to like stay
on top of it I think,
because it just feels like
I'm drowning and I've been
trying to taper
and I've just been tapering
and it's just not working
and I just don't know how
to actually stop.
Okay, look.
Um, let me just say that for me,
tapering didn't work.
We're alcoholics, right?
When were we ever content
with just one?
Yeah.
I just went cold turkey
with a ton of support.
Yeah.
Support is huge.
I also had to do a huge
clean out of my place.
Oh, yeah. You've gotta
get all the toxic substances...
And people. Out of
reach and out of your life.
Which, in my case,
included my ex-husband.
Yes, it did.
Hey, listen.
Um, take a phone list, okay?
Use it.
The main thing is,
keep coming back.
Don't isolate.
That's when bad things happen.
Can I start you off
with a drink from the bar?
I'll get a Manhattan
with a twist of lime
and a Sauvignon Blanc,
please, glass.
My pleasure.
Wait. Did you just order me
a glass of wine?
I did.
I can cancel it.
I'm so sick of hearing
about Chuck's party!
I should just break up with him
and get back together with Paul.
Chuck is a bit of a dick,
but he could give you
a big life.
What are you talking about?
Chuck is so obviously
bad for me.
Well, you were always
complaining about how Paul,
all he does is hang out
in his underwear
and play video games.
Chuck's an egomaniac.
He's been with like millions
of women.
I just don't understand
why you're not telling me
to break up with him.
Because you're an intelligent
adult woman who I believe
deserves the dignity
to make her own decisions.
I mean, is Paul better for you?
Yeah.
Probably, yeah.
But you're always saying
how there's no snap,
crackle, pop.
Maybe that's not the most
important thing.
Maybe that's not everything.
Alright, well, do
whatever you want.
I mean, I don't even know why
you're even torturing yourself
to make a decision.
It's not like you're exactly
a one-guy woman.
What? About three or
four guys is about right
for the proper care
and feeding of you.
You're gonna judge me?
I'm kidding.
Wow, dude.
Pot, kettle black, big time.
Oh, come on,
I was just joking. Chill.
Don't tell me to chill.
You know, the one way to not
get people to chill
is to tell them to chill!
Alright.
You know, I was doing really
well when I was with Paul.
I completely stopped
all of my purging.
And started binge drinking.
Because he broke up with me!
You're just always trying
to sabotage my sobriety.
You can't handle it.
You can't stand the thought
of me being sober
because it would mean...
What are you talking about?
Because you only ever
take me out to drink.
We only ever go to bars.
And when I told you
I was gonna start tapering
my drinking, did you support me?
No. You just kept ordering me
more alcohol.
You never, ever stopped
to be like oh,
maybe you shouldn't have
that third, fourth, fifth,
sixth, seventh, eighth...
- You don't even drink that much.
- Yes, I do!
You don't know!
You don't know what I do!
I see you for like one hour
out of every week!
I'm drunk like almost
all the time!
And if I'm not, I'm miserable.
It's not the alcohol that's
the problem here, Jules.
It's what's causing you to drink
that's the problem.
That's why I keep telling you
to talk to a therapist
to figure out why you binge
and purge and drink.
No, no, no.
You know what it is?
It's that if I get sober,
you're scared I won't be
with you anymore.
And you're right.
If I was sober, I wouldn't
be with you.
I wouldn't be with any of you.
Wait, where are you going?
Are you serious right now?
Julia!
Come on, I'm sorry.
Get in the car,
let me take you home.
No!
Come on!
What do you mean, no?
Just get in the car.
Go away! I'm not getting
in the car!
I'm not gonna let you walk home.
God! Fine.
Go!
Text me you got home safe.
Fine!
I hate you!
I was more determined
than ever to stop drinking.
I made an appointment
with my shrink to get help.
If you'd been taking in as much
alcohol as I had,
and then you suddenly stop,
you're at risk for some pretty
horrific symptoms,
including high blood pressure,
fever, confusion,
even hallucinations
and seizures.
I'm sorry.
That's okay.
You want to tell me about the
purging? No, that's actually good.
That's the one thing that's good
at the moment, so...
Okay...
How about the drinking?
How much and how often?
It's a lot.
Like a bottle and a half,
two bottles a night
at the moment.
An inpatient program,
is that an option for you?
Yeah, I just don't have
insurance right now,
so I can't afford it.
But I did actually want
to talk to you about...
I read that, um, like benzos
and valium can help
with withdrawal and...
And stuff, so...
Well, benzos can help, yes,
but they can obviously
be addictive.
No, I know.
And I'm totally aware of that.
Uh, I just... I do want to try
going cold turkey this weekend
and I just want to be safe.
It just feels like the best
option for me. I think.
Detoxing from alcohol
is not something
that you should be attempting
on your own.
Do you understand?
Sure.
Um, and I have somebody
who will stay with me
if I ask him to, I just have
to call him.
There you go.
Hey. Nice
to see you again,
Darren Jones.
Remember me?
Yeah, I'm the girl that you
roofied on Saturday.
Remember?
Okay. Give me my card.
I would never have gone
home with you
if you hadn't drugged me!
Well, she's obviously crazy.
Yeah, I'm crazy
'cause you raped me!
Last Saturday this guy,
Darren Jones, raped me!
Oh, where are you off to,
Darren?
You forgot your card.
Darren Jones, everybody.
Yeah, run, Darren!
Run!
I would never have gone home
with you if... Give me my card.
Look at his face.
Oh, my God, look at his face!
You know, I got some people
in the Philly PD.
You wouldn't even have to go
up to the station. Uh-uh, dude.
I am putting this
all over YouTube.
I am gonna nail this scumbag
to the wall.
I'm going to ruin your life.
Are you sure you're okay?
Look at him.
Yeah, I'm great.
I feel amazing.
Do you want me to come up
with you?
Make sure you feel safe?
Yeah, I do.
Gotcha.
Okay, I have to be serious
for one second.
Uh-oh.
I am gonna quit drinking.
Okay.
Will you help me?
Of course.
You know I got you.
Will you spend
the weekend with me?
I would love nothing...
Yes, I will spend
the weekend with you.
more than to spend
the weekend with you, but I...
Look, I got a prescription
for valium from my shrink,
but she said it's not safe
to detox alone.
Okay, but can we... Can we wait
until next weekend?
But it's my birthday
this weekend.
Yeah, I know.
It's just that...
my in-laws
are coming to town and...
it's Jaelyn's Little League
game on Saturday.
But I mean next weekend I'm free
and I could just tell Grace
that, you know,
I got stuff to do.
Sure.
Don't.
Don't what?
Don't look at me like that.
Look, I'll be here for you
next weekend.
I promise I'll be here
without fail.
- After Neil left,
- I couldn't fall asleep.
I just kept having this feeling
of impending doom.
I decided I couldn't afford
to wait.
I was in a plane
that was going down
and I needed to put on
my own oxygen mask.
I decided I wasn't going
to go home to see my family,
I wasn't going to go to Chuck's
party and drink myself blind,
I was gonna hunker down
at my place
and detox from alcohol.
Hello people!
Day 1: cold turkey.
I took my pill
and feeling great.
I dumped my stash and I'm
working on a list of things
I wanna do to stay busy.
For the first time in years
I actually feel the tiniest
bud of hope.
I am going to change my life.
After starting my detox, I was
so excited I was up all night.
I texted Neil to meet me
at the Rocky steps.
I was feeling great.
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Look at me go!
You did it.
I know.
I have just been thinking
about the 27 club and,
like, all the people who died
when they were 27, right?
Like Janis Joplin,
Amy Winehouse,
Kurt Cobain... Jimi
Hendrix, yeah. Jimi Hendrix.
And just like all the amazing
stuff that they had done
when they were 27 and then
they died and I was like,
"Oh, my God, if I die at 27,
I'm not gonna be in that club."
There's like no reason I would
ever be in that club.
I haven't done anything.
And normally that thought
would like really freak me out,
like I would be like oh, my God,
I'm not living up
to my potential,
I've just been like
waiting around.
Am I like fulfilled?
Am I happy?
Like all these different
questions, right? Mm-hm.
But like I don't feel
like that anymore.
Like I just don't
feel like that.
I feel really good.
Good. Good.
I feel amazing.
And I think the problem is,
is like we're
constantly waiting,
like oh, I'll start living
my life once I'm skinny,
once I'm rich, once I'm married,
once I'm whatever.
Yeah.
And you can't.
You can't just wait
for any of that stuff.
You have to just start doing it.
So last night I wrote
this bucket list
and I'm gonna do all of it.
I'm gonna do all of it this year
and you just helped me
with number 67.
"The Rocky steps."
This was... This was 67? Uh-huh.
What about 69?
G-g-good one.
Can I help you with that one?
Sure.
Yeah?
Yeah, no, 69 is, um, actually...
uh, make a meal
with my mother.
That's 69?
That's number 69.
I don't know,
I think we can do better.
Hi...
Hi.
Ooh, I like those earrings.
Thank you, I just got 'em,
actually.
They were like 30 percent off.
Yeah.
They look expensive.
You... You're at work,
obviously, right?
I am at work, uh-huh.
Um...
What're you doing?
Eating?
No, I just have coffee,
that's all.
Okay.
Um, uh, hey.
There's like a lot of stuff
this weekend
that I have to reschedule
some things, so...
Oh, my God, I can't believe
you're not coming.
That's not what I said.
I can't believe I defended you.
What?
Mom said that you'd pick him
over us and I said, "No, Mom..."
Wait, wait, wait, Lola!
Did you tell Mom about Chuck?
Yeah, I told her.
What the f...? I specifically
asked you not to!
I said that I would take care
of it!
Yeah, well you're obviously
not taking care of it.
I mean, you didn't
even call her, I called you.
Is that your sister? Yeah,
Mom. She's not coming at all.
Don't listen to her, Mom.
Hi, Mom.
- That's not what I said.
- Oh, my God.
That's not what I said.
What shall I tell your brother?
I didn't say I wasn't
gonna come!
I just can't stay
the entire weekend.
You decide and we'll arrange
the day around that.
It's your birthday, Julia.
Well, I have to go,
we can argue about this later.
Whatever.
You better call Max.
- Hey.
- Did you actually file
the pleadings for the Diaz
case? Because Chuck and I...
I tried to hold it together,
but things were unraveling.
Okay, just... Okay, calm down.
I'm sure that they're
here somewhere.
"Substandard"? I work
my ass off all the time!
I'm const... You know what?
Actually, it is... It is... I...
I will... I...
I've never seen her like that.
She was crying in the washroom
saying that everybody
was mad at her.
Luckily, Paul was there.
- Jules, hey.
- Oh, my God.
What's going on?
Hey, no, no, no.
- I'm sorry...
- What's going on?
It's alright, sorry for what?
Hey, look at me.
Everything is just a mess!
I wanted to tell him everything
but I was afraid he'd hate me.
Hey.
What's going on?
Go ahead, slut shame me,
but he was my rock in a storm
and I clung to him.
It's too cheesy to call her
a delicate flower
or something like that,
but I think...
I do think that she brought,
I don't know, there was
a fragrance about her,
if that's not too girly.
When she walked into a room,
everyone saw it.
It wasn't just me, I was just
lucky for that time to have it.
I don't know what else to say.
It's not for me to say, anyway.
But don't talk badly about her.
She's human and trying like
we all are.
So let's leave it at that.
After apologizing
about the file,
I had promised Chuck I'd go
with him to the Philly party.
You sure you don't want me
to add a shot
of vodka to that?
No, I'm sure.
Not to be confused with Chuck's
Memorial Day beach bash.
Anyway, it was the last place
I wanted to be.
But I convinced myself I'd go
and actually break it off
with Chuck
as part of cleaning house.
Hey, stop talking to them.
Talk to me.
- I am bored out of my mind.
- Oh, my God!
- Chuck Peruto!
- Grace.
- Hi!
- How are ya?
Good to see you.
Good to see you.
I don't think you guys
have met before.
This is my husband, Neil.
Finally. Oh, right.
Chuck and I served together
on Hope for the Holidays.
- Good to meet you.
- Good to meet you.
You work for
Larry Glinkowsky, right?
Yeah.
Larry and I go way,
way, way, way, way back.
Okay, okay.
- Yeah, good guy.
- Yeah.
Oh, God. I saw Arnie Milliken
the other day.
Cheap Suit Milliken.
Can I please take you upstairs
and ravage you right now?
Hey, what's wrong?
I'm tired of this.
I don't wanna do this anymore.
I'm sick of being
in a relationship
with Don frickin' Draper.
I've never loved any other woman
the way I love you.
Awesome.
Where does that leave me?
Huh?
You're always saying
that you love me,
you love me more than anything,
that I'm the person
that you want to be with,
but you could be with me.
You could be with me really
easily if you wanted to be.
But you're not.
I get you for like three hours
out of the week,
if I'm really lucky.
Seriously?
Congrats.
You're the worst.
Don't say that.
You didn't even introduce me.
Neither of you did.
You just acted like
I wasn't there.
Maybe I should go and introduce
myself to your lovely wife.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- No?
- No.
You think that you can have
whatever you want.
Just be however you wanna be.
You can't.
If my life is gonna be hell,
yours is gonna be hell, too.
Yeah? What does that mean?
You'll see.
As I watched Neil's wife walk
toward me I thought about
how I could blow up
her perfect world
in an instant.
I knew exactly where I was.
We were driving home
from a restaurant.
My parents were in town,
so they had the kids.
The news was on.
Someone was talking
about the girl
in Chuck Peruto's bathtub.
Everyone in Philly
was talking about it.
I asked Neil a question
and he didn't answer,
and when I looked over at him
he was crying.
Sobbing, actually.
He had to pull over.
And f...
Finally, he said to me,
"I need to tell you something."
And...
When he said that, I knew.
Apparently, it had been going on
for years...
and I had absolutely...
no idea.
Hey.
Hey.
Are you keeping secrets from me?
What're you talking about?
Well, Paul thinks
you're spending
your birthday with him.
I'm not... And without me.
Who's...?
I'm not... Oh, my God,
I don't wanna have
this fight with you.
This is just stupid.
You and I want different things.
Well, until this moment,
I thought we wanted
the same thing.
I want you,
and from what you tell me,
and from how you act when
we're alone, you want me.
Tell me the truth.
Are you two back together
or not?
Because last I heard,
you weren't even speaking.
Okay, I'm not with him,
I'm not getting back together,
I'm not sleeping with him
and I'm not spending my birthday
with him, okay?
Believe me or don't,
I don't really care.
Tell me... Tell me, what is it
that you want
that you think I don't I want.
You want a list?
Yes, I do.
Okay, here's a list of things
that you don't want that I do.
I want to have kids.
I want to have three kids.
I want to be
in a healthy relationship
with a functioning person.
So why is that different
from what I want?
Because it's exactly why
you broke up with Teri!
No, I broke up with Teri
because she's nuts.
I don't wanna have babies
with someone who's nuts, okay?
You wanna have kids? I'll
have kids with you tomorrow.
Don't joke about that, please.
That's so unfair.
I'm not joking.
What do you want me to do
to show you how crazy I am
for you?
What?
Or how perfect I think you are.
Don't say that.
You wanna get married?
Let's get married.
I mean it. I'd go
to the moon with you.
Okay, I'm... I can't stand
people talking about
how perfect I am all the time.
I'm not perfect,
I'm flawed, okay?
Okay, good.
I like your flaws.
You with flaws is ten times
better than the next girl.
Come here. Come here.
Chuck, there's... So what?
I don't care who sees.
I don't.
Stop.
I don't want to stop.
What is going on?
Oh, God.
Don't cause a scene here.
Oy, eh...
Don't cause a scene... Asshole!
Telling me there's
nothing going on!
Teri! Teri!
Acting like I'm crazy!
I was living dangerously.
I am not crazy!
Teri, stop!
I will kick your ass!
- Stop! Stop!
- Don't even look at me!
I am coming for you!
I knew better than to get
on the wrong side of Teri.
- Teri, let's go!
- No!
Chuckie Peruto doesn't
get married to anyone.
I don't think she knew
what the hell she was doing.
You're shaking like a leaf.
Take the friggin' drink.
Come on.
You know all that stuff you said
about me being perfect?
Well, I'm not.
There's just so much
about me that you don't know.
I know enough.
You don't.
You really don't.
I know that you're anorexic.
I'm not anorexic!
Bulimic, whatever.
You're a puker.
Jesus, did somebody
tell you that?
You wouldn't be the first girl
that's used that as a diet.
Did you know that I've been
to rehab not just for ED
but for alcohol as well?
And you think this is
gonna scare me away?
That I'm gonna go running?
When I said you're perfect
I meant you were perfect
for me, okay?
You don't wanna drink,
we don't drink.
You think I need drinking
to be fun?
Come on.
I'm fun.
I've helped a lot
of girls get sober.
Even Gia, for a bit.
Gia the model?
Trust me.
A.A., N.A.,
fill-in-the-blank A.
I've been through all of it
multiple times.
I told you about
my brother, right?
No, I didn't even know
you had a brother.
Kid brother, Joey.
He was an addict.
Pill head.
Quaaludes, mostly.
I sent him to rehab
and, uh, after a while,
he seemed to be
getting better and got out.
But then I didn't hear
from him for a few weeks.
He stopped returning
my calls, so I...
I went to his apartment
and I found him...
face down on the floor
in the bathroom,
covered in his own vomit.
And that was on me,
because I didn't see the signs.
I, uh...
I was too late.
Yeah, but it's not your fault.
Well...
It's not,
because you get
really, really good
at hiding it.
Make sure you don't see it,
make sure no one at work sees,
make sure no one
in my family sees it
and... it's
just so exhausting.
Everything
that you like about me
and everything you know
about me is
just based on nothing,
like I'm...
I feel like I'm nothing
and if you really knew
who I was, you'd just...
If you knew the real me,
you wouldn't love me.
None of what you just told me,
none of it,
changes anything, okay?
Because I've never felt
so much so fast
for somebody.
Nobody, okay?
You got it?
You want to get off
the sauce, fine.
I'll help you get off the sauce.
Is that a deal?
Yeah.
We... We put her through
this program,
a rehab program,
and she did so well, you know?
She was strong
and she was smiling again
and she was eating, and...
And she, you know,
she looked good.
She was such a sweet,
sensitive girl.
Yeah, uh, make sure
the Bayside condo
is already aired out.
Put on the ceiling fans and,
um, you know, open the windows.
Yeah.
No, I'm leaving
in a few minutes.
Alright, thanks.
Alright, gorgeous.
Keys to the manor.
Mm.
I want you to eat.
Relax.
Oh, that tub,
imported from Italy,
it cost me ten grand...
I've never been in it.
Get naked, get in it,
and think of me.
I have a big special surprise
for you when you come
to the beach.
Oh, yeah? Heh.
Do you have any, uh,
jewelry on this...?
Ah. Empty.
Good.
That's not funny.
I'm not trying to be funny.
Stop.
Hey.
Look at this face.
I wanna know
what you're gonna do
for the next 30 years.
I'm serious.
No, you're not.
Oh yeah, I am.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
You're smiling.
See? I can
still surprise you.
Hey, don't worry about
your mom, by the way.
All the ladies hate me.
Until they meet me.
Then they love my ass.
You know what?
I'm gonna send
a Hummer limo to your house.
We'll bring the whole family,
bring 'em to my party.
Are you kidding me?
It's got a hot tub in it.
One glass of champagne, that's
for the toast to celebrate.
And then it's Martinelli's
the whole rest
of the night, okay?
Mm-hm.
- Okay?
- Okay.
- Alright.
- Okay.
Oh, also, by the way,
if you bail on me,
they are gonna need to use
your dental records
to identify you.
Okay!
I promise.
That was a little
after 11:00 p.m.
Well, he says he left
around 11:00,
but I have a friend
who says that they know someone
who definitely heard them
fighting after midnight.
You know, I don't wanna
have this conversation.
- You're not going anywhere.
- Let go of me!
- It's my life!
- Hey!
How about this?
Chuck heads for Margate,
and suddenly, on his way there,
he realizes he's
forgotten something.
The gossips imagined
all kinds of crazy scenarios.
Chuck walking in on me
and Paul, me and Angie.
Some even had us hooking up
in a menage-a-trois
with Chuck coming in for that
shirt at an inopportune moment.
Some people thought Chuck
was definitely guilty,
but they didn't believe
he actually
did the deed himself.
They speculated that
he probably called in a favor
and had one of his goombah
clients snuff me out.
Some people suggested
I had a secret lover.
Fans of presumed innocent
had a different theory.
They imagine Neil's wife
tracked me down
and bashed my head in
after she discovered that
I'd been having an affair
with her husband.
I suppose there would have been
some poetic justice in that.
But the night I died,
I didn't see her
or Paul or Angie or Teri,
or even Darren Jones,
the guy who roofied me.
The night I died,
I had no bruises,
cuts, or contusions.
There was no blood on the floor.
None of those theories are true.
The night I died,
Chuck was 80 miles away
in Avalon, New Jersey,
at a bar with about
100 alibi witnesses,
while Neil was at home
watching his kids.
I was at Chuck's, alone.
Now, this is where things
get murky,
because from this point
until approximately 10:00 a.m.,
when Zulma found me dead
in the tub,
not one of the people
the police interviewed
admitted to seeing me.
From forensics reports
and texts I sent,
police know
that the night I died,
I made and ate a healthy salad.
I watched 8 Mile,
the Home Shopping Network,
a nature special,
a horror movie,
and some
girl-on-girl prison porn.
The thing about
text messages, though,
is police can pinpoint where
the person who's texting is,
based on which cell tower
gets pinged.
The night I died,
I did a lot of texting.
I think everybody knows
who she was talking to,
what she was doing...
Everyone except me, so...
I could be a schmuck,
but I know who he is.
I thought they were friends.
I didn't know that anything else
was going on.
It was before me, and I...
Apparently during.
So what?
Bathtub murders
are really hard to prove,
especially if someone's
drugged or had been drinking,
and according to the coroner's
report, the night I died,
I had a mix of Xanax, Klonopin,
Valium, Vyvanse and Lexapro
in my bloodstream,
and I consumed somewhere
between 10 and 12 shots
of hard liquor,
which means,
despite all of my best efforts
to go cold turkey,
the last night of my life
I got seriously hammered.
I was never with anyone
like her.
Ever.
There's been other women,
why not?
I was never, ever with anyone
like her.
I wanna be very clear
about that.
The one thing that people
don't know about Julia is...
is that she was really funny.
Hello, my name is...
Le Bouquet.
Oh, bonjour,
Monsieur Le Bouquet.
Uh, comment ca va?
I actually don't speak French.
I mean, this woman, she popped.
I mean, she just...
She was... She was like
a little stick of dynamite.
I tried everything
I could to calm down.
Nothing helped.
I wish she would have told me
how much pain
she was going through.
She was an amazing woman.
I would have done anything
for her.
Uh, so I did
the Amy Winehouse look
that I found online.
Um, it's kind of a little bit,
like, festive I guess.
Oh, my God, I can't believe
how much I'm sweating.
One shot.
I took this ten days
before she died.
I told her if she didn't
feel safe detoxing on her own,
to wait a week
until I was available.
But Julia said
she couldn't wait.
That next week
would be too late.
I was doing a pretty good job
keeping myself distracted
and things were going well.
But remember how I mentioned
the horrific side effects
you can experience
when you try to stop drinking?
What a stupid
plan, detoxing alone.
I started to hallucinate.
You're such an idiot.
Yeah, really good idea.
You're going
to give yourself a stroke!
If they care, why aren't
they here?
There are demons in the walls,
watching you.
They hate you.
They hate you.
Everybody hates you.
Nobody cares about you.
They don't love you.
They just say that so they can
sleep with you.
Because they feel sorry for you.
I'm going to kill you...
Everybody hates you!
You're fat and ugly.
Look at your pores.
Look at yourself.
Look at your pores.
Pour another glass.
You're a poor girl.
Look at you, you poor...
You poor girl. Poor girl.
You poor thing.
Look at you.
You poor...
Selfish.
Nobody loves you.
Nobody even cares about you.
You're going to die.
You're such a little idiot!
Who's ready to party?
You are. I know.
Whoop.
At meetings, they always say
it's important not to isolate.
The night I died,
I left 15 voicemail messages...
It's Jules from...
sent 82 texts,
and uploaded four videos.
And welcome to my cooking show.
It is carrots today.
This is Julia Law...
Oh, ha-ha-ha.
So much for my anonymity.
Can you call me back?
It works if you work it,
and you're worth it, right?
Hey, Paul.
Hello?
Hey, Siri, what's
the meaning of life?
I sent messages to Chuck, Neil,
Paul, Angie,
and while they all
texted at various times
throughout the night,
nobody came.
But for all my attempts
at reaching out,
only one call was answered.
Hello?
Devon?
Who is this?
It's Jules. From rehab.
Oh, my God, hi!
How are you?
I'm... I'm okay,
I just was like...
I was just thinking about you
and wondering how you were.
Oh, that's so nice.
Um, well, as a matter of fact,
I'm on my way to my honeymoon.
Really?
Heh. Crazy, right?
We got married today.
Wow.
So is the guy you're marrying
an addict as well?
Um, it's a girl actually,
and no.
She's totally sober. She's a...
She's a social worker.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- Oh, cool.
this is the final boarding
call for Flight...
Yeah, you sound
like you're busy.
You must be really busy.
Uh, yeah, um, I'm about
to get on the plane.
So, um, Jules,
is everything okay?
Uh...
I don't feel very good.
I just... I've been...
trying to reach out,
but I can't...
I'm so sorry, Jules.
I'm having a really hard time
hearing you.
Can you say that again?
I can't.
It's super loud in here.
Um, I'm sorry, I'm not sure
if you're talking or not,
I can't hear you.
I'll be back in a few weeks.
How about if I call you
as soon as I get back, okay?
Did I find the end?
Thought I'd died again
I've been waiting on a friend
To take me home
Take me home
All my blood's run cold
Time is not my own
I've been sailing and I heard
The call to shore
The call to shore
Pull me when I get
Too far away
Be my anchor, come on
Make me stay
When all the world around me
Is about to break
Say that you're not
Gonna let me fade
Did I say goodbye?
With a fateful cry
I was caught between
The chaos and the light
And the light
Call me when I get
Too far away
Be my anchor, come on
Make me stay
When all the world around me
Is built to break
Say that you're not gonna
Let me fade away
Away
Away
Did I find the end?
Thought I'd died again
It's a thin line between
the living and the dead.
Autopsy officials decided
that it was impossible
to pinpoint the exact
cause of death.
But the grand jury investigation
was eventually concluded,
no charges were ever filed.
I might have drowned,
or died of alcohol poisoning,
or had a seizure from mixing
benzos and alcohol.
It might have been accidental
or on purpose.
Nobody could say for sure.
They pretty much ruled out
foul play,
but in some parts
of the Internet,
people still wonder.
They search my old Facebook page
or scour my Instagram for likes.
They try to imagine the person
behind the headline.
They try to unravel
the mystery...
of me.
Time is not my own
I have been sailing
And I heard
The call to shore
The call to shore
Pull me when I get
Too far away
Be my anchor, come on
Make me stay
When all the world around me
Is built to break
Say that you're not gonna
Let me fade