The Golden Rut (2016) Movie Script

- Go in there and live the character's life
from your heart and don't care.
Don't care about results.
And, there's a difference because 90%
of the actor's will be needy little actors.
Oh, I want, I want.
I need, I need.
Give me, give me now.
And, you go in there, and you don't give a shit
about any of that.
You're completely dedicated to the character.
That's what you have to do.
Okay, get your scripts and be back here in 30 minutes.
I did no wrong
I was young
I wandered like a child
I would do anything
To have you come back
Come back to me and smile
- I'm trying to decide between Johnson and Jags.
I'm unsure.
What are you?
- 300.
- I mean your real name Scottie Johnson is cool too.
But, I feel like Jags is more from an actor.
- You change your name and come out to my show tonight.,
- Okay.
- It's at eight.
- Sweet.
- There'll be some free beer there.
- Okay what are you?
- Nerd.
- No?
Come on.
- No.
- Let me give you, just five.
- Man, I'll put you on the guest list if you promise
to come out.
- I'm gonna try and make it.
No, I've got something going on later,
but if you want to go to that, I'm coming.
I'll be there.
- [Man With Dreadlocks] Free beer.
It's good to see you.
I like I'm.
I had enemies
I needed water
I needed to spend some time with the sky
Have mercy on me
Have mercy on me
When you hear that trumpet blow
Have mercy on me
Have mercy on me
- Have you talked to Roy lately?
- Yeah I talked to him like a couple months ago
or something like that.
He's in New Orleans, right?
- Yes, he is.
He's in New Orleans, and he's really killing it, man.
Like, he just booked his second TV series.
Gross, man.
- I'm sorry, something in it.
- Yeah.
Well dude, you should move out there.
You'd do really well for yourself.
- Austin's more my speed, you know what I mean?
- Yeah, I hear that.
Yeah man, I'm working on this doc
about Rastafarianism and everything, right?
But, here's the thing.
I don't want to go to Jamaica.
I could stay here in Austin, kick back,
nail a couple Skype interviews, UVU whatever?
Call it a day, dunzo.
- Look I gotta run.
I gotta make a call, but it was great seeing you, all right?
- Cool man, we can talk about the Rastafarianisms.
- Yeah, all right man, good luck with that band.
- Doc, yeah.
- Dick Nacho's agency, this is Dick Nacho speaking.
- Hey did Lloyd book another TV show?
- Scottie, I told you time and time again,
get to NOLA, that's where all the work is.
- Any calls for auditions this week?
- Nothing right now my man.
But, don't worry.
Be patient, okay?
I'm keenly keeping my eyes on a few things.
- All right, I'll call you later.
- I did a commercial audition in Dallas one time.
You know there was like eight people in there.
I did really good.
I said, "Hey I have a chance of getting this job."
Didn't worry about it.
Didn't get the job.
Didn't think about it till the next time
I went up there to that same casting director.
She said, "Hey Gordon, you know remember a few weeks ago,
"we had that commercial audition?"
I said, "Yeah."
"Well you did really good, man.
"In fact everybody in the room said you were
"by far the best actor except for one guy, the client.
"You reminded him of his brother-in-law,
"so we couldn't cast you."
How would you ever know anything like that?
And, how can you control something that arbitrary.
You can't.
So you don't worry about it.
You live the character's life and leave it to God.
Don't give a shit about anything else.
That's who they want to cast is somebody that is
the character.
So get your scripts.
Go out there, learn something, and come back,
and do it in 30 minutes.
And, it better be good.
- Gordon.
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you too.
Got your money.
Thanks for the help the other day.
- Did you book it?
- Nah, they wanted someone from LA.
- That's the usual horseshit.
Come over here, I want to show you something.
Sit down.
- They're shooting 50 movies in New Orleans this year.
They're shooting like 10 here and maybe two of 'em
are gonna pay anything.
I mean come on, man.
Go to New Orleans, build up your resume,
then maybe go to LA.
What the hell?
How much you pay for rent?
- 800.
- [Gordon] You have a nice place?
- I don't know.
It's a
- [Gordon] Look at this.
tiny bedroom, two shitty roommates.
- 1,000 square feet for $500 a month,
and it's in the heart of the French Quarter
surrounded by fucking culture.
I'd be gone if I was your age.
Man, you're the best actor I ever coached,
and I just don't want to see it wasted.
- If I'm gonna make it, I can make it here, you know?
Hey what do you think about my new name?
Check this out.
- New name?
Oh God, Scottie Jags?
- Yeah.
- Great name for a porn star.
What's wrong with Johnson.
- I don't know.
I feel like I need something that pops more, you know?
- God, why aren't you in New Orleans?
- I'll tell you why.
Look at this girl.
Oh my God, I met this girl at the snow cone stand.
We've been dating for like three months.
- Oh Lord, not another one.
- She's so cute.
Look at this.
- [Gordon] They're all cute.
- I mean seriously.
- [Gordon] And, they're all about the same age.
Is that girl even legal?
- Yes, she's 20.
- [Gordon] How old is she?
- She's 20.
- How old are you again?
- [Scotty] 30.
- Little louder, didn't hear you.
- 30.
- What are you gonna do?
Support a family bartending the rest of your life?
The hours don't work for having a baby.
You gotta make some money if you're gonna
move ahead with any of these women.
All right, you wanna stick around and do a scene?
- No, I'm not really in the right headspace
right now.
- Well watch a few anyway.
There're some good actors here.
Maybe you can find somebody for your web series.
- Yeah, I'll stick around.
- [Gordon] I did a porn film once.
- Serious?
- But, my part was so small.
(guitar music)
- Hey.
- Hey what's up?
- I saw your web series.
I really dig your work.
- Thank you.
- I heard you coach some.
- No, I'm not a coach.
I just love acting so I help friends out
when I can.
But, I'm not a coach.
- Well you know I got this really great part.
And, I could always use an extra eye.
I'd even like pay you if you're into that.
- Sure, yeah.
I mean you don't have to pay me, but if you have
some extra cash to throw, that'd be cool.
- Oh hey Scottie, can you help me out?
I need you for one scene.
- [Scottie] Sure yeah.
- The results are in.
- Tomorrow you're gonna die.
- It's the only way.
- Okay.
- [Gordon] Cut.
(synth music)
- [Scottie] Are you sure it's setting people up?
- [Actress] I don't exactly know.
It's what he seemed to be hinting towards.
- It's a good way to get yourself fucking killed.
You know that right?
- Look I'm fine.
I don't need your help.
- Like I'm gonna let you do this on your own.
You'll get kidnapped, raped, beat to death,
and then fed to sewer rats.
You, you go back to Yazu City.
All right, cut.
I think we can stop the scene right there.
- So what'd you think about my energy.
Is it good?
- Yeah it's really good.
Why don't you try it with like an accent or something?
- Yeah okay.
- Forget about the camera and everything
and just do your lines.
Like don't even worry about mine.
Just give me the energy, go.
- I don't exactly know.
It's just my hunch.
It's what he seemed to be hinting towards.
- Give it to me now.
Give for power.
- I don't exactly know.
It's just my hunch.
It's what he seemed to be hinting towards.
It's just my hunch.
It's what he seemed to be hinting towards.
- Good.
What are you doing?
- With your tongue.
- Whose, the general?
- I don't know.
(guitar music)
Tell me it hurts again, you little bitch.
- Yeah it really hurts.
- [Actress] But, it hurts so good, right?
- Do you have a safe word?
- Yeah, I can see you need a safe word.
Yeah just like that, get it.
Bite my toe!
Bite me, you little bitch.
Get it.
- Whoa, baby!
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Baby, we were just rehearsing.
- You piece of shit.
Fucking asshole!
(Folk rock music)
- [Taylor] I was just rehearsing.
I'm so lonesome
I'm gonna hang my head and cry
Cry, cry, cry
Cry, cry, cry
(bowl ringing)
- Let's all check in.
Just go ahead and call out an injuries you're having
right now.
(everyone responding)
Got it.
I love what you're doing.
Now see how everyone, if you can look,
Maria's flexing her feet.
Let's try to really flex the feet.
Yeah, lift up a little bit.
Let's think of the Indians while we're in bow pose.
(guitar music)
Good breathing.
I like that breathing.
Oh shit, okay everyone just hold a minute.
I'll be right back.
Let's just rest in child's pose.
What the fuck are you doing?
- I'm fucking smoking a cigarette.
- In the middle of my fucking class?
Everyone in there knows you're my best friend.
This makes me look like an asshole.
Well fuck man, I'll leave.
- No, don't leave.
Get your ass back in class.
We can talk after.
- Taylor left me.
I got caught cheating.
- [Arlo] You idiot.
- I fucked up, man.
- Dude, she sucked, okay?
She did.
She sucked.
- [Scottie] Really?
- Yeah.
- I loved her.
- You didn't love her, man.
You've told me that you loved five girls this year.
You can't love five girls in one year
It's impossible.
The numbers don't add up.
Get you ass back in class.
- I'm pretty sure I loved her.
- You didn't love her, trust me.
We'll talk later, okay?
I'm sorry that happened.
Okay so I give him tea.
I get back in the car, pull out.
All of a sudden, this hippie chick pulls up
next to me, starts banging on my, you all right?
- Yeah, I just gotta pee really bad.
- I'm about to tell you a story.
- I know.
Is it like a five minute story or a 10 minute story?
- If you gotta pee, go pee.
- [Scottie] No, no, go head.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
- So anyway, I get some tea.
All of a sudden, this hippie chick pulls up next to me
starts banging on my car and spits on my car.
- Watch what you're doing, tiny dick.
- You pulled in front of me.
I'm confused.
- Why don't you just go back to LA, all right?
- I'm sorry I don't know what's going on.
Can you explain to me what happened?
And, then all of a sudden, her boyfriend pulls up.
He starts cursing me out.
I'm like, I don't know what this is all about,
but that chick is gonna get you in a lot of fucking trouble.
- Actually do you wanna speak sign language a little bit?
- So I kind of blacked out.
I'm like what the fuck?
I throw my tea at him.
Next thing I know, he's throwing his water canteen at me.
She's crying, bawling crying.
Don't drink water if you have to pee.
- Okay.
- Then she tells she's called the cops.
I'm like the fucking cops?
- These are breasts.
- Call the fucking cops!
- This is how you were raised.
- Fucking call the fucking cops.
- From your mother.
Milk to you, and then you throw a fucking bottle at me?
- What is she even talking about?
- I'm gonna tell them what you did.
I'm gonna say he was violent.
- Babe, just call the fucking cops!
(breathing out)
- [Arlo] Do you think I was in the wrong for that?
- I mean they're cyclists right?
- [Arlo] They are cyclists.
- Yeah they got the right of way.
- Cause I'm in a car, and they're cycling?
- [Scottie] Yeah definitely.
- I felt bad.
I couldn't sleep that night.
- Yeah, of course I'm gonna have some thoughts on that
when I get back.
- Okay.
(door knob rattling)
(breathing out)
(toilet flushing)
- [Scottie] I just peed.
- [Woman] Yeah you gotta pee sometimes.
- Yeah it was just pee.
- Try an apple cider vinegar.
- What is this?
- [Arlo] It's apple cider vinegar.
- No, I'm good.
- Cause it's good for you.
(whimsical music)
- Oh man.
What happened with that girl you were,
she heard about--
- No, she walked in on me.
- [Arlo] She walked in on you?
- Yeah, I'm just banging this chick
in all these crazy ass positions, dude.
Like I've never even heard of or seen.
It's horrible, dude.
It was probably pretty scarring.
- [Arlo] That's awful.
You gotta be more careful.
- I know.
It was bad.
- Who did you cheat on her with?
- This like Cirque du Soleil actress chick.
- How do you feel about the actress?
- Damn.
- [Arlo] What?
- Hold on a second, I'll be right back.
- What are you doing?
- Could I buy you a coffee?
- Why?
- If not, I'm gonna be sitting over there
disturbed thinking this girl thinks I'm an idiot.
- I'm fine.
- What are you working on?
- [Woman] It's nothing.
- What is it?
- It's embarrassing.
- Come on.
- I'm trying to sell my wedding ring.
- You were married?
- Engaged.
- Engaged?
Sorry to hear that.
I just got out of a relationship.
My girlfriend and I broke up.
- I'm so sorry.
- Yeah, thank you.
- What's your plan?
- For today?
I don't know probably like watch a movie or something
like that.
- No, what's your plan to get over her?
- Oh classic comedy movies usually.
- Have you ever seen Palm Beach Story?
- Yeah I love Palm Beach Story.
You like Sturges?
- [Woman] I love Sturges.
- You see Christmas in July?
- I haven't.
- No?
We should watch it.
You wanna watch it?
We can do it tonight.
- I can't.
- [Scottie] Tomorrow night.
- [Woman] I have work early.
- The night after that.
- Sure.
- Yeah?
- Call me.
- I'll call you.
This chick is rich.
(guitar music)
- You didn't have to do that.
- Well I wanted to.
I figured you could use 'em since you might
not be getting 'em for awhile 'cause you're single
'cause the marriage didn't work out.
(orchestral music)
- [Woman] It's so cute.
- You okay?
- Yeah, it's just so sweet the way
she stands up for her man like that.
It's so beautiful.
- I know it's Sturges.
I mean he's the best.
He's the best.
Do you want to hug or something?
- Sure.
Are you serious?
First date?
- I'm sorry.
I'm usually way more respectful.
- Sure you are.
It's called self control.
Why do I get the feeling you don't have any?
- No, no I'm sorry.
- I think it's time for you to go home.
- Did I fuck this up?
Look I'm enjoying this.
I shouldn't of kissed you.
- No, I just have work early tomorrow.
- Well can we do this again?
- Yeah.
Call me.
- Okay.
I just hope I didn't fuck it up.
- Did she say you fucked it up?
- No, she said I could call her.
- Straighten your arms like this, breathe.
It's a confidence pose.
How do you feel about this girl?
- I don't know.
She's really sweet, but she's a good girl.
- That's new for you.
- [Scottie] What?
- I don't know if you realize, but every time you meet
a new chick, you come over here saying
I'm gonna marry this girl.
This is very new for you.
- Well I'm just worried that she's too innocent for me.
I think she might be a virgin, dude.
And, she's 25 years old.
She might be 28 years old.
- I doubt she's a virgin just 'cause she won't
let you bang her on the first night.
I mean I think you need to just relax a little bit.
Try to have a little faith.
Get to know her, take your time.
You know it can be very healthy to go against type.
- Okay listen up.
The word on the street is Moses Duval
- No shit.
- is headed to town to shoot his new feature film.
And, he's casting only local talent.
- Holy shit!
- That's you Scottie.
What you need to do is you need to be ready,
and you need to stay sharp.
You gotta be read to go at all times.
Stay in shape, stay sharp because it could happen
at any time, okay?
Keep working out.
Your web series got canceled.
- What?
- Not a big deal.
How you doing?
- Fuck.
- So let's talk about your last film.
Everyone questioned you when at the peak of your career
you decided to quit directing so that you can
research for your award winning film,
The Mailman of Wemberly.
Is it true that you actually got a job
at a post office and decided to deliver mail
for two years?
- What a great idea for the metaphor
to be a mailman.
To be, a M, A, L, E, a male, but also M, A, I, L,
mailman to be able to convey someone
who delivers communication to people
in the small town of Wemberly.
(fuzzy guitar music)
- So where're your parents?
- Houston.
- Nice, they still together?
- Yeah.
- That's cool, you don't find that a lot.
Bet your mom's a fox.
- Yeah she is.
Your mom a fox?
- Yeah, of course.
What do you do for a living?
You got a job?
- I have my own butter company.
- What gives?
You're like too perfect.
You got an addiction or something?
- No.
- You're like super religious.
- No.
- You cool with sex before marriage?
- Now that is something I am not cool with.
Just kidding.
I have a swing dance class on Wednesday if you want to come.
- Man, honestly I'm not a dancer.
- [Ebby] Okay.
- But, I got this pottery class I've been dying to go to.
You wanna go?
- Yeah.
(happy music)
- What?
- I dig you, I do.
It's cool that you're an actor and all.
But, I need to know this.
Are you making any money acting?
- Yeah, yeah I am.
- I don't want to waste either of our time.
And, I'm not looking to be the bread winner
of the family especially if I feel
the guy isn't even working.
So how much money can you make acting?
- A lot, like millions.
- Well how much money did you make last year
like 20 grand, 30 grand?
- No, last year I made like $1,200.
But, the year before that I did a commercial.
I made $3,200 in two days.
They had like craft services and filet mignon.
And, I make my money bartending anyway.
- I don't know if I can date someone with no ambition.
- What?
- At some point, I want a family.
And, I'm sorry I like you, but I don't want
to go down this road again.
- Wait, whoa.
Okay I'm like right on the cusp of making it
and breaking in.
You know what I'm saying?
So you got to be fair with me.
You gotta give me some time.
Like give me like a couple months.
- Well if it takes too long, I'll jet.
I'm warning you.
- That's fair.
- Good.
- Good.
- [Ebby] Good.
- Cause I'm starting to like you.
- I like you.
- You do?
You wanna go in your bedroom?
- One more week.
- Really?
Can I sleep over?
Not till then?
- Can I just watch you sleep?
- That's weird?
- [Scottie] Really?
- Yes.
- All right, well I'm gonna take off
'cause I don't wanna get blue balls.
- Wait, I know a little trick for that
and it involves my butter.
- Are you hand gesturing?
Is that sign language?
- [Ebby] Scottie.
- [Arlo] You want a coffee enema?
- A what?
- A coffee enema.
Well I don't get the caffeine but it wakes
up my intestines and cleans me out.
- Yeah sure, I'll take it home.
- Okay take it.
- I think I'm really into this girl.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- That's beautiful.
- I mean the no sex thing might be a good thing.
It's making us talk a lot.
- That's lovely.
Embrace that.
I've done two years before.
- [Scottie] Really?
- Amazing.
- Yeah, I think I need a new career though.
I need to do something else.
- You're an actor.
You've been acting for like 20 years.
You can't stop acting, come on.
- I could try to drive with Uber or something.
- Uber, how long you gonna be happy with Uber,
two months?
Think long term.
Scottie, you're a great actor.
I don't know what you're talking about.
- You know I could talk.
I could always cook.
I could open up like a food trailer downtown or something.
- I've had your food before.
It's not very good.
- Actually you know what I'm thinking is
what I could do is I could get super jacked,
I could join MMA, I could become a fighter,
and I could transfer into film
kind of like Bruce Lee, the Rock.
- Mr. T.
- Mr. T.
- I like Mr. T.
- Yeah.
- Anyway, next right thing, man you know?
Get down, grounded into the earth,
feel it working for you.
(rock music)
- Wow check this out, dude.
For his next movie, he wants to explore
those who are disadvantaged in society
and not of the status quo.
It makes him feel grateful.
- What's the movie about?
- I think it's about handicapped people.
Look at this.
Listen to this quote, all right?
It is only by walking in the shoes
of those less fortunate than us
that we are actually able to grasp who we are
and what beauty we are surrounded by.
Dude, this dude is an artist.
- You know this chicks whipping you into shape, huh?
- Look at this picture of him, dude.
He looks like he's in the jungle or something.
There's only one online.
Damn, this girl is hot.
Look at this, dude.
That's his daughter.
(rock music)
Look at this.
Look at this girl.
- I think I know her.
- Shut up, dude.
- I'm serious.
Yeah, she's taken my class a couple times.
- This girl?
Are you messing with me?
- No.
- You're gonna do what?
- He's gonna go on a date with her.
She takes his yoga class.
- What's that gonna do, Scottie?
- He's gonna go on a date with her,
he's gonna get in with her, and she's gonna get
me over to that house, and we get the lead
fucking role in the film.
- Scottie, I don't think this is gonna work?
- Why not?
I mean Dick this is old school Hollywood shit
that I'm doing.
You of all people should understand that.
- I'm busting my ass over here for you.
- Dick, what the fuck else do you want me to do, man?
- I just kind of feel like you're doing this
on your own.
You're going on a little solo mission,
and I don't really appreciate it.
- Hey look, if I go to the Oscars, man,
you're coming with me, bro.
You're my date.
- Yeah?
- We'll drive down there together in a convertible.
- Okay.
- Throw this thing together.
What can we do?
What do you got, you got anything?
- Yes, I actually did hear something.
- [Scottie] What do you got?
- Sorry buddy, but it doesn't look good.
It looks like they're only hiring
real disadvantaged people.
- So I'm out?
- No, we might have a shot at getting
a good supporting role, one of those meaty, chunky,
gravy supporting roles perfect for you.
So stay sharp, stay ready, stay in shape.
Be happy.
You know what, I'm gonna let you know
as soon as I hear anything.
- All right.
- Who am I to you?
- You're my Dick.
- I am your Dick.
- Well you're not, yeah.
- Yeah.
(bowl ringing)
- [Arlo] For the first half of this class,
we're gonna stay in child's pose and just relax.
I just feel like there's a lot of worry
happening these days.
Breathe in.
(peaceful guitar music)
Exhaling, letting worries go.
- I can't relax.
- Exhale.
Jog around the block a few times.
Good, good, I like to hear those breaths.
- You need to just relax.
Why don't you take Ebby on a nice date tonight?
- To do what, man, I'm broke?
- I don't know, get a bottle of wine,
go to the woods.
(happy music)
- Man, I've been working so hard lately.
I'll tell ya.
But, I think I got a meeting with this really big
director in town.
- That's great, babe, I'm so proud of you.
- Thanks babe, yeah.
- Oh I'm going out of town.
Would you be up for watering my plants?
- Yeah all right, like everyday?
- If that's possible.
I'm going to San Francisco trying to get
my butter in the shop there.
- That's cool.
So when you get back, we can...
- What?
- You know when you get back we'll...
- What?
- [Scottie] You know what I'm talking about.
- What?
- Or, we just do another hand job.
That's cool too.
That's probably the best I've ever had.
- Maybe.
- I mean it was definitely the best I've had
from someone else.
- [Ebby] Cool, I'm glad you liked it.
- Give me a kiss.
What are you doing now?
- Hey listen, did I ever tell you about the time
that I flew to Paris with Marlon Brando?
- [Scottie] With Brando?
- You know what he said to me?
- What?
- He said, "Can you please close your window
"I've asked you five times?"
- So did you do it?
- Fuck no, I could've represented him,
but I didn't.
So what does that tell you about success?
Newsflash, they're only casting transgendered people
for this Moses Duval film.
- Transgender?
- Don't worry about it Scottie.
Not a big deal.
You're gonna get the next one, okay.
Stay sharp.
- Good game.
- Good game, let me see the ball.
- Hey do you know any transvestites?
- I know a transgendered person.
- Think I could meet him or her?
- Doubtful, I can try.
- If you could, yeah.
All right, hit me up.
- Why are you trying to meet a trans person?
- Research.
You know any?
Hey your date's tomorrow night with Magnolia, right?
- [Arlo] That's right.
- Sweet!
- Hey aren't you gonna see Ebby?
How you feeling about that?
- Yeah.
I'm just a little nervous because we're supposed
to have sex.
She's just so innocent.
I don't feel like I can be myself.
- Hey forget about up here, come from here.
This is where you connect.
This is where you make love from.
That's where you bang.
- Yeah, I'm just tired of things not working out.
- Maybe you're afraid because she's available.
- I don't think so.
- [Arlo] Any fear of getting hurt?
- I don't know.
Did you confirm with Magnolia?
Why didn't you confirm?
- Because I'm not desperate.
- Arlo, confirm with the girl.
- It'll be fine, man.
Just relax, okay?
I don't want you to have a stroke attack.
- What is that?
There's no such thing as that.
Look hey Arlo, do me a favor, confirm with the girl, please.
All right?
Look this is probably the biggest opportunity
of my career honestly, man.
If you love me, you'll confirm.
(rock music)
- Scottie, Scottie.
- That was okay.
Hey Ebby, the first time's always a little weird.
But man, are you beautiful.
- Thanks.
- My sister's coming to town soon.
- Oh yeah, that's right.
She's your twin, right?
- Yeah.
- That's cool.
Is that weird?
- No.
It's just I don't know anything other than that.
- You know I think I'm starting to like you.
- Yeah?
- Yeah if I'm speaking from my heart, yeah.
I think I love you.
- Well if I'm speaking from my ears,
they're telling me it's time to go to bed, Cassanova.
- [Scottie] Oh that is so mean.
- I'm just playing.
I think I love you a little too.
- A little?
- A little more than a little.
- Yeah?
- But, get your shit together.
- [Scottie] Yeah, I will.
- Good night.
- You wanna go again?
- Scottie, maybe later.
- All right, just know I'm prepared.
Hey Moses, hey.
Hey Moses.
Hey Moses.
Shoot, you looking at my ass, Moses.
You're looking at my ass.
Hey Arlo, have you heard from her yet?
- [Arlo] Why you talking weird?
- Does it sound believable 'cause it's
for a character I'm working on?
- [Arlo] It's not super believable.
Maybe it's 'cause I know you.
- Have you confirmed with Magnolia?
- [Arlo] Canceled.
- Really?
- [Arlo] Nah, she's coming to my house in an hour.
Why don't you meet me here at three,
bring me some tacos and sparkling water please.
- All right, awesome.
So what you all do?
- We gave each other the best coffee enemas
of our lives.
- [Scottie] Really?
- Blew it out, yeah.
I'm kidding, man, we had tea.
- Did you find anything else out about the movie?
- Not much, but I'm gonna see her again soon.
And, this is something I'm kind of considering,
but I told her you're a big fan of her dad.
They have a big lunch thing next Sunday.
She's gonna try to get us invited.
- Really?
- If we go, I'm serious, like you've gotta play it cool.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause you've been really nervous lately.
It's kind of just a lot.
I like this girl, man.
I can't lie.
You know none of those selfies, autographs,
she'll pick up on that.
She'll smell that like a fearful dog.
You don't want to be a fearful dog, do you?
Say I'm not a fearful dog.
- I am not a fearful dog.
- I'm gonna clear the energy out in the house
if you want to go.
- Sure, I was on my way out anyway.
- Call me later.
- Scottie, my fault on this one.
I was misinformed.
The whole transgendered scenario,
it was going down a wrong path and I apologize.
I know you put in a lot of work.
- Dick, I've been working on that role
for like two fucking weeks.
- Look here's the deal, they only unknowns he's going with
is a real developmentally disabled guy and a girl.
Those are the only unknowns.
- All right, but Dick, so those two roles--
- Stop it!
- Those two roles, the developmentally disabled characters,
maybe he just doesn't want a name actor in there,
but maybe he wants a no name actor.
- It's fucking Moses Duval, Scottie.
The insane thing is because of who we're working with here,
there are celebrities coming out of the woodwork
for day player roles on this one.
I hear Tom Cruise is gonna be a store clerk.
Kevin Bacon is gonna be some type of baker.
I mean it's insane.
So maybe extra work or something,
something a little smaller, maybe get you
on craft services, do something to help out
with the crew.
You ever done any grip work?
- No.
- Now's the time to start.
- You wanna do what?
- I wanna nail this mentally challenged character.
You know just in case I get a chance
to show it to him.
- Oh Jesus.
I thought this was just like lunch.
What are you gonna do drool at the table for him
or something, what?
- Just in case, you know?
I just wanna be prepared.
- Oh man, okay but look what you said
is politically incorrect.
You have to say developmentally disabled.
Have you done any research?
- Yeah, of course.
Watched a ton of movies, researched a bunch of actors.
A lot of actors got their start from something like this.
I mean think about Cliff Robertson, Dustin Hoffman,
Daniel Day Lewis in My Left Foot, I mean that's...
- My left Foot is not developmentally disabled.
It's physically disabled, nitwit.
There's a difference.
- Yeah, but he's disabled.
- Actually you're very close to this character
now that I think about it.
Let's get to work.
(rock music)
Sucked beyond all comprehension.
I swear to God.
I mean it not only sucked.
It was like watching a log float downstream sucking.
I mean bad.
- [Scottie] Let me try it again.
- You better.
Okay, go ahead.
- Ebby.
Just calling to say hi.
I'd love to see you.
Life is good, call me.
I'm thinking about taking my girlfriend flowers later.
- That's sweet of you.
- You think so?
- Yeah.
(guitar music)
- Well, well, well, what is up, dude?
- What's happening?
- Nothing much, how are you?
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.
- Rock and roll show tonight, eight pm, free beer.
Just like last time.
You gonna come?
- I'm gonna try and make it.
I'm gonna try and make it for sure.
- All right.
Well you're my favorite actor in town,
and I would love to have you.
- Get outta here.
- I would love to have you there, dude.
- All right.
- I'm gonna get out of here, love you, buddy.
- Good to see you, love you too.
Hey Ebby, your car's here.
Are you home?
Anyone home?
(rock music)
- You want the real thing, baby?
Oh shit, oh my God, you're not Ebby!
- No, I'm not.
- I'm just this boyfriend.
This is fucking crazy.
Holy shit.
- Get the fuck out.
I'm in the shower.
- Right, right, right.
I didn't mean to walk in on you like that.
That's so wrong of me.
I should've knocked on the door first
or something like that.
I'm so sorry.
- All right, bye.
- Yeah okay.
(guitar music)
Hey, what's going on?
- [Ebby] Good, how's it going?
- No, I just went by to bring you some flowers,
and I met your sister.
- [Ebby] Oh that's sweet.
- Yeah I just wanted to bring you something, you know?
- [Ebby] Did you guys hang out?
- No, I just said hi.
I didn't want to make it awkward or anything.
- [Ebby] How 'bout dinner, the three of us tonight?
- Yeah you want to do dinner, the three of us?
All right, yeah.
I'll see you there.
Dude, it's been a crazy fucking day.
- What happened?
- It's kind of a long story.
You got any work for me, man?
You got anything coming in?
Any commercials?
I need some fucking money.
- Nothing coming in yet, man.
But, I did get my hands on Moses Duval's new script.
- Is it good?
- It's fucking incredible.
It's Moses Duval.
- Can I read it?
- No, you can't read it.
You can't even look at it.
You shouldn't even be in the same room with it.
It's an agent script, okay?
Agent's eyes only.
Sorry, no can do.
- Well here's the thing, I'm going over there
this weekend, so if you could give me that script,
I could prep it.
I could read it.
- You're going over there this weekend?
- Yeah.
- Here, take my script, okay?
I want you to pour over every inch of this thing.
I want you to know every part, every line
inside, outside.
I want to be able to ask you how many T's are in the script,
and you'll tell me, 759.
I don't know if that's right.
It might be wrong.
I want you to know everything.
- [TV Interviewer] Why do you think people
were just touched by the Mailman of Wemberly?
- You know Tesla, you have light
and static electricity, and then there is
no way of being able to, I mean I cannot choose
the lightning that strikes me.
I cannot arbitrate inspiration to that end.
The light is being delivered to the people of Wemberly.
I am not so much a bringer of mail,
I'm a bringer of lightning.
(rock music)
- You ready to go jogging?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just wow!
I just finished Duval's script, dude.
It's a masterpiece.
- Really?
What's it about?
- I don't know.
A lot of different things, you know?
But, it's, I mean it's literature.
- That's great.
- Have you confirmed with Magnolia?
- Tonight, I'm gonna see her tonight.
- It's confirmed?
- Yeah, we've been texting all day, man.
- You've been texting all day?
- Yeah man, she's something.
She's really funny.
She's kind of like poetic with her texts n'stuff.
She's cute.
- Wow.
So I hear these noises, right?
It's coming from the shower.
She's masturbating.
I think it's Ebby.
So I take off my clothes, make it all sexy
and hop in there.
It's her twin sister, identical.
- Wow.
- Yeah, I don't know.
It's kind of weird honestly.
I'm supposed to have dinner with both of 'em tonight.
- [Arlo] Does your girlfriend know about this?
- No.
- You know people when they sleep with their girlfriends
and then their fantasizing it's somebody else,
you ever try that?
- No.
- It's pretty great.
I would give it a try, but anyway think if you're
you know fantasizing about her sister, thinking
about her sister, but you're sleeping with your girlfriend
and looking at your girlfriend but fantasizing
about the sister.
That's so trippy.
- What are you talking about?
- One face thinking about this girl.
I mean one day you're into this girl,
one day you're into this girl, why?
It's bizarre.
It's beautiful.
- I don't know.
- Yeah, I don't know.
I'd be curious to talk to more people
who've had this experience.
- So did you talk to Magnolia about going over
to her dad's place on Sunday?
- I'll actually find out tonight.
- All right, as soon as possible if you could, you know?
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
- Because I know everything about this guy.
This could be my part, you know what I mean?
It's really big for me, man.
This could be my Rain Man.
This could put me on the map.
- Okay, you're just kind of making me nervous, man,
because I sure she gets this stuff all the time.
- Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be cool.
Just relax, dude, trust the universe.
(guitar music)
This is really good.
- Thank you.
You like it?
- Yeah, it's great.
You're a really good cook.
- So how are mom and dad?
- Same old, they were happy I was coming to see you.
So you gonna do Christmas there?
- That's the plan.
- Are you gonna bring Scottie?
- We haven't talked about it.
- Is that awkward?
So what do you do?
- I'm an actor, yeah.
And, I bartend too.
- Are you a bartender who acts?
- No, I'm an actor who bartends.
- What do you like better Godfather One or Two?
- Two.
- Thought so.
- You?
- One of course.
So you been in anything I've seen?
- Probably not.
- You make any money?
- Yeah, a little bit.
- What do you think about the death penalty?
- What?
- Alex, don't drill the poor boy.
- Just trying to see if he has a brain.
You gotta watch those actor guys.
Well, I've never been to Austin.
Let's go see the town.
- You know what I gotta read my lines.
- Come on, my sister's in town.
- Yeah, don't be selfish.
- All right.
(club music)
- Alex?
(club music)
- [Alex] Yes, oh that's the spot!
- Jesus Christ!
Are you not having trouble focusing?
- No.
- No?
- Look in my eyes.
- I'm trying.
I can't focus.
I'm sorry.
- Come on, I'm close.
- Can we put on some music or something?
- Music distracts me.
- Well what can we do?
- Here.
- What is that?
(rock music)
- These are weird.
- Baby, that was working?
- [Alex] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What do you want do?
I don't know, she's been going on for two hours.
Wanna go in the closet?
- Okay.
(rock music)
- [Scottie] Oh, that what amazing.
- Good, I'm glad you liked it.
- Except I think I got a heel up my ass.
- Oh I know you likes that.
- I love you, Scottie.
- [Scottie] I love you too, sugar.
- Did you have fun last night?
- Yeah it was a nice night?
- Who was that guy you were with?
- I didn't catch his name.
- Are you gonna see him again?
- He wasn't really my type.
- I'm sure it was a memorable night for him.
- There's some extra eggs in the pan if you want some.
- So I have this, like, photo shoot interview thing.
Do you think you could help me with it?
- I actually have a bunch of meetings,
but maybe Scottie can help you?
- Huh, where?
Oh no, I can't.
I'm sorry.
I gotta memorize my script.
- You have an audition or something?
- Yeah I do.
Actually a pretty big one with Moses Duval.
- Holy shit, impressive.
- Right?
- [Ebby] Who's that?
- Probably the biggest art house film director there is.
- Baby, that's so exciting!
- Thanks babe.
I mean I don't have the part yet,
but it's for the lead.
- Baby?
- So you wanna go to a funky coffee shop
and work together?
I hate being alone.
- You guys can get to know each other.
- Yeah okay.
(guitar music)
- Yeah!
- [Alex] What happened?
- Got confirmed for Sunday at Moses's house.
- Is that the script you're reading?
- Yeah, what are you working on?
- Oh I just got confirmation of the photo shoot
interview we have later today.
It's for my magazine.
- That's cool.
What's it about?
- It's about sex.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- You make a living doing that?
- 200K a year.
You can read it.
- Yeah sure, I'll check it out.
(guitar music)
- It's gorgeous.
- Thank you.
- Really clean.
- We have a lovely housekeeper.
- Cool, shall we?
- Am I worried that my husband's gonna leave me?
Of course.
Is there a chance that I could get pregnant
from a one nighter?
But, freedom isn't always the easiest path to take.
Freedom is facing your fears and your fantasies.
- And, the title Warm Up the Cave is
that a reference to the vagina?
- Is it?
Get that fire going, girl.
No I'm kidding.
What my focus is on obviously is writing
about why humans aren't really fit to be monogamous.
That particular quote is really about the importance
of re-questioning our beliefs and our values.
One of my favorite passages is from the philosopher
John Locke, and essentially what he says is
when we don't question our beliefs, they grow cobwebs,
and they become cold like and abandoned cave.
So does the simple act of questioning the things
that we do everyday, it clears the cobwebs
and warms our cave.
- That's really gorgeous, very sexy.
You got me turned on just thinking about it.
You ready to take some photos?
Oh yeah.
Do you mind taking off your dress?
- [Cam] Sure.
- Oh my God, you are so flipping gorgeous.
Pout your lips.
I love that.
Now give me some movement, but like may it natural,
you know?
Let me hear you.
Fuck yeah.
I think we got that.
That was it.
Is there anything else you wanna try?
- Yeah.
- I love it.
Would you mind taking a few shots with her?
- I mean I'm not really a photographer.
- No baby, I mean strip down to your underwear
and maybe chase her around a bit.
- Oh yeah.
- No.
Thank you but no.
- Come on, we need your help here.
- I don't think I should.
- Don't be a pussy.
- Would your sister be okay with this?
- Yeah, this is my art.
It's who I am.
- [Alex] Like you know.
- Show me.
- Okay.
Up and down.
And, then look at him in the eye.
And, bite his lip like that.
You can do it.
Oh Yeah.
That's it.
(guitar music)
Yes, that's it we got it.
Scottie, you look good on camera.
- Thank you.
- Y'all want to go swimming?
- Yeah, let's go swimming.
(guiatar music)
- Hey baby, what's going on?
Nah, I'm just hanging with your sister.
- Scottie, get in the pool.
- She's just swimming with a friend.
I'm looking forward to dinner tonight.
Really looking forward to it a lot.
All right cool, well I'm gonna see you for dinner.
I love you too.
I love you too.
(dramatic guitar music)
- [Alex] Scottie, come on.
- Get in the pool, Scottie.
- [Alex] It feels so good.
- Yeah, I gotta run.
I gotta run.
- Are you sure you don't wanna stay and eat?
- I've gotta get to my acting class.
- [Cam] I have some juice from Barcelona.
- From Barcelona?
- Fuck.
- [Cam] It's warm.
- You're so boring.
- I know.
- [Scottie] Gordon?
- Welcome.
You're 30 minutes late, man.
- I know I'm sorry.
- Where were you with that little girlfriend of yours
or something?
- The one I showed you the picture of?
- [Gordon] Yeah.
- We actually broke up.
- [Gordon] What?
- I'm seeing somebody new now though.
- Oh Lord, I thought she was the reason
you didn't go to New Orleans.
- I know, I know.
- [Gordon] God man, what are you doing?
You should go to New Orleans or, shit, Atlanta,
or something, you should give it a shot.
- This is gonna be my break.
This is gonna be it, trust me.
- What's the deal though?
What, Moses invited you to lunch and tells you
to prep the script or what?
- Not exactly like that, but I got invited to lunch, yeah.
- I'd be careful if I were you.
I mean I'm not so sure this is the best idea
you've ever had.
He could be offended.
- Yeah, I'm gonna be cool.
- You're sure?
- Yeah.
Be real cool.
- [Gordon] Do it now,
don't ask forgiveness later - forgiveness later.
- Yeah right?
Do it now.
- Your funeral.
- I've got this, bro.
- Yeah okay, well let's get started.
(guitar music)
- Oh shit.
- Stop Scottie.
- I'm sorry, baby.
- Just don't touch anything.
- Alex, I'm gonna give you a call later, okay?
(guitar music)
- Oh.
- Sup?
- She didn't want to stay for dinner?
- No, she had work.
- I thought we were gonna get to listen
to sex noises all night.
- Scottie did some modeling.
I'll show you.
- You're a real sex stud, Scottie.
- Thanks babe.
- Oh that reminds me.
There's an amazing band playing tomorrow.
We should all go.
- I actually have work tomorrow night,
but Scottie you don't have work.
You can go.
- I got that meeting with the director tomorrow.
- Isn't it a lunch thing?
- Yeah but--
- It's not till nine or 10.
- Well what about your writer friend?
- I mean I could ask her if you really don't wanna go.
- No, no, I'll go.
- Sweet.
- Do you not like my sister?
- No, I do.
Yeah, she's just different.
- She means the world to me, so just try to be
a little more sensitive.
- Okay yeah, I will.
I'm sorry I just think I'm nervous.
I got this big movie director meeting coming up.
Is that new lingerie that you're wearing?
Baby, come here.
I love you.
I'm gonna miss you so much tomorrow.
- I'm only gone for one day.
- Just be careful.
- You're such an actor.
- You're gonna do great in your meeting tomorrow.
The director's gonna love you.
(rock music)
- You didn't tell her I was an actor, did you?
- I did what you said.
I just told her you were a friend.
Man, I'm kinda feeling nervous about meeting her dad.
I looked him up, he's quite the artist, genius.
- Calm down, dude, you're gonna have a stroke attack.
- [Arlo] I'm just saying, man.
- Who's all gonna be there today, do you know?
- No, just close friends and family, not a lot of people.
You should really revel in the gratitude of just being here.
It's pretty amazing.
All right, you ready to do this?
- I'll meet you in there, all right?
I'm just gonna call my agent real quick.
- You feel okay?
- Yeah, I just wanna tell him about it.
I'm excited.
I wanna tell him about the meeting, Moses and everything.
- [Arlo] But, you feel okay?
- Yeah, I feel good.
I'm excited.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah no, I'm excited.
- Okay I'll see you in a second.
- All right.
All right, you good looking son of a bitch.
Let's do this.
(rock music)
Can I have a sip of that?
- No I better hold onto this.
I'm from everywhere.
- Do you need a drink?
Here have some of my orange juice.
(rock music)
- Are you enjoying the barbecue?
- [Scottie] Yeah it's super good?
- It's a special family recipe.
- Yeah, super good.
- You're amazing to me.
Look at you sitting up.
Do you know what that chair is called?
- Yeah.
- That's a papasan.
Can you say papasan chair?
- Yeah bumped.
- There you said it right there.
- You know what we should do?
- What?
- Let's go in the Airstream and fuck.
There's nobody in there.
You want to?
- Of course.
But, I was thinking we could wait because
I really respect you.
I wanna give you your respect.
- Are you being serious?
- But, thank you for the offer.
It means a lot.
I'm very flattered.
I want to.
- You're welcome.
- That's how we do it out here.
- Yeah.
- We like it super good all the time.
I got a question for you, Scottie.
Would you like to be in a movie?
- I'd be in the movie, yeah.
- You would?
You wanna act in a movie, Scottie?
- [Scottie] Yeah, well yeah.
- We'll see about that.
- Hey sis.
Hey man.
- This is my little brother Dice.
- Hey Dice, how's it going buddy.
Nice to meet you.
- I met your friend.
He's pretty cool.
Oh good, yeah.
He's a nice guy.
It's pretty cool y'all are friends.
- Yeah.
I've known him a long time.
- He seems pretty capable.
- What do you mean?
- I mean he seems pretty independent
for a developmentally disabled person.
- Hey guys.
- Hi.
- Scottie, what are you doing?
Are you having fun?
- [Scottie] Yeah.
- I just talked to you mom like a minute ago,
and she's pretty worried.
I told her we'd be leaving here
something came up.
- I just talked to her, and she said I can stay.
- Scottie, I just talked to her.
Let's get outta here, come on.
- No, you didn't.
- [Arlo] Yes, I did, Scottie.
- Hey Arlo, I've been standing here the whole time.
She hasn't just let him stay.
- [Arlo] She texted him, Magnolia.
Scottie, come on.
- Scottie, how are you?
I want you to meet someone.
This is Rachel my producer.
Rachel, this is Scottie.
- Hi Rachel.
- Hi Scottie.
- Scottie, we're, I know this is hard
for you to fathom because of your challenges,
but we're making a movie.
I'd love to have you involved.
I think you'd be,
- The lead.
We've had so many problems finding our lead.
- [Arlo] We gotta go.
His mom want him back home.
- But, he's so cute, and I love him.
- I could stay.
- He can stay.
Listen how 'bout just long enough for him
to hear a little bit about the story.
- [Arlo] Oh really?
Back off!
- Hey Dice.
- Back off, bitch.
- [Arlo] Hey come on, he needs sternness.
- Here, take my card.
- But, I wanted to keep him.
- That's a lot of sternness, young man.
- It's a little too much.
- I don't think anyone needs that much stern-itude.
- You can be stern with me.
- Yes, later on.
I haven't eaten.
- [Moses' Girlfriend] I hope he comes back.
- No, he probably won't.
Not without his caretaker.
What's up with that swarthy guy?
- He creeps me out.
- Yeah totally, it's a gift.
Let's go get some quiche.
- [Scottie] Arlo.
- I can't believe you lied to me!
How am I ever gonna talk to her again?
Do me a favor, lose my number.
We're done!
- Dude.
- You're a fucking asshole, okay!
I'm serious, don't ever talk to again.
We're done.
I'm serious.
You're a mess, dude.
(car peeling out)
(dramatic music)
- Scottie, what are you doing?
- Nothing.
- You're not even dressed for the show.
- Oh shit.
Oh yeah, the show.
- I'll be back.
- Another one?
- [Alex] This is not the company I want to be seen with.
Now get up.
I want to see your dance moves.
- I feel so much better.
- I don't want to be seen with a flacid penis tonight.
Is this real life?
Okay just stay still.
- All right.
- Just barely, feel the music.
Feel the music.
All right?
- I fucking went for it, you know what I'm saying?
And, if Arlo doesn't understand that, then fuck him.
- Yeah, fuck him.
That took balls, baby.
I didn't think you had something like that in you.
Go get dressed.
It's time for the show.
(club music)
- Hey, is that your girlfriend over there?
- No, it's not.
It's my girlfriend's twin sister.
- What, twin?
- Identical.
- Okay, I could not do that.
I could not date a twin.
Once I dated a dude who just had a brother
hotter than him, and I fucked my whole life up,
and it was so awesome, great sex.
- Really?
- That's all I will say.
Worth it.
Fucked my whole life up, worth it.
And, you like her a little, don't you?
- No, I mean definitely she's sexy.
But, like nah.
- Okay.
Well where's her sister then?
- She's out of town.
- She's out of town.
It's just you two in the club, getting drunk.
You're gonna try to bang her, aren't you?
I don't think you like your girlfriend at all
And I think you should bang that bad bitch
Oh my God, she's so hot
Oh my God
Bang her, bang her.
- Yeah I should bang her.
- You should bang that.
(club music)
- I'm really sorry about what happened.
- [Arlo] Let's do some meditating.
- Okay.
Why do you think all this is happening to me?
- [Arlo] Let's do some meditating.
- What are your thoughts?
- I've done all this work to get you
where you need to be spiritually,
but you're building weak foundations.
- What should I build them on?
- I can't tell you.
- Do you know the answer though?
- You have to figure this out.
- Okay, thank you, Arlo.
Thank you.
That's great.
- I have to teach a class.
(guitar music)
- You seen Alex?
- She left early for California this morning.
She said you left her last night and didn't say goodbye.
Were you drunk or something?
- I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
This isn't fucking right.
I don't think I'm in any state to be
in a relationship, Ebby.
And, here's the thing, all right, if your sister
would've wanted to hook up with me last night,
I think I'd have done it.
I think I'd have done it.
I'm sorry, that's fucking wrong.
- Well didn't you walk out on her?
- Yeah.
- Well obviously you didn't do anything.
So why are you even telling me this.
- Cause I don't wanna waste your time anymore.
It's unlikely I'm every gonna hit this year deadline.
It's honestly unlikely I'm ever gonna get my shit together.
- Quit feeling sorry for yourself.
Oh my God, are you breaking up with me?
(sad dramatic music)
- Scottie, hey Scottie.
You can't take it so hard, man.
- It's not just Moses, man.
It's everything, you know what I mean?
I'm a fucking loser, Dick.
- You throwing a pity party right now?
- Dick, I'm lost.
Scottie, I ever tell you what Brando said to me
on that flight to Paris?
- Yeah, he said close the window.
- No, not that.
I mean he said that, yeah.
But, he told me something else too.
I was just a young kid, man, just like you
searching for something, lost in the world.
He looked me in the eyes, and do you know
what he said?
He said, "If you want to make it in this business,
"you gotta believe in yourself first, Dick."
- Brando said that?
- You need to go to New Orleans, Scottie.
- Man, New Orleans, I don't know.
I'm just gonna be fucking lost in New Orleans, Dick.
- Everybody's lost in this crazy, brutal world, man.
But, it's being lost with hope that gives you a chance.
- Lost with hope, I like that.
- Get your fucking foot off my lap.
I think you know what to do.
- [Dick] You believe in yourself, Scottie?
- I do.
Thank you, Dick.
- I love you, man.
- I love you, Dick.
- You're a prince.
Give me a kiss.
- Thank you.
I love you too.
I love you.
What are you doing?
- I'm gonna kiss you one time.
- Dick, what are you doing?
What are you doing, Dick?
Are you trying to kiss me?
- Is that awkward?
- Get the fuck outta here.
- [Dick] Okay, just looking at your eyes for awhile.
Love you, Scottie.
- Love you too.
(guitar music)
I'm Scottie.
You were gonna cast me in your film.
I came by the other day.
- Yeah.
It's nice.
Have you met Bungie.
She's a clown.
- Blue.
- Not bad, right?
That's nice.
That's real nice.
So mister actor, what can I do for you?
- Look I'm sorry, all right?
I'm really sorry about that, but I want this role, Moses.
- I mean this is a great role.
I mean this is gonna be obviously because
it's Moses Duval.
It's gonna be Oscar nominated, the movie,
the role, I mean it's a career maker,
and wouldn't that be just like me
to take an absolute no name from fucking Austin, Texas,
put him in the role of his career?
- Yeah.
- I've got a compass inside me.
It's like a little inner ticker, all right?
I gotta go, like gravity's pull, wherever attracts me.
Do you understand?
It's gotta come from a place of authenticity.
I need to actually have somebody that's actually phisically
or intellectually challenged.
- I can do this role.
I've been studying acting my whole life.
This is my passion Moses.
This is what makes me want to live.
This is what gives me my breath, Moses.
Please if you just give me a chance,
and you just give me this role, I promise you,
I promise you, I will do an amazing job.
- You got it.
- I got the role?
- No, you don't have the role,
but you do have an energy I like.
You know you're a chronic bullshitter,
and that's what this business is all about.
I'm sure somewhere down the line I'll have
a position for you.
You have a lot of genuine potential.
You wouldn't be here right now if I didn't think
that was the case.
Do you understand?
- Yeah.
- You wanna do me a huge favor?
- [Scottie] Yeah.
- You see that towel over there?
- Put it over there.
The towel?
- Yeah.
Blue usually runs my towels.
She's wonderful.
She makes a great Mai Thai, and she's not a bad
little mime.
Just get her to shut her fucking mouth.
Wanna do me another favor?
- Sure, anything yeah.
- You need to get the fuck off my property.
- All right, yeah.
- Do you understand about all the things I've said?
- Could you just tell Magnolia that Arlo
didn't know anything about me coming over here
and doing that?
- I'll make that a priority.
(guitar music)
- New Orleans huh?
So what'd he say?
He say anything else about your whole character thing?
- Actually he said I was a good actor,
and that he wants to work with me one day.
- Whoa, that's amazing.
- I know.
- I've been tell you you're a good actor.
You just gotta believe in yourself.
Faith, faith.
That's your issue, bro.
But, that's amazing.
What about Ebby?
- You know I broke it off with her.
- Why?
- Cause I'm just in no state to be
in a relationship right now.
- Says who?
- Says my bank account.
- You need a bank account to be in love?
- What do you mean?
What am I gonna say?
Hey, I don't know what I'm doing with my career
or my life, and I know you want to have kids
and a family one day, but if you could just wait
for me to get my shit together.
It might be a year.
It might be 20 years.
It might never happen.
I mean, dude, come on.
- No, I don't think you should say that.
I think you should say, listen from my heart
what I want to tell you is I got something
I'm really passionate about, and it's something I love.
And, it's who I am.
It's what I do.
I don't want to live life with regrets.
I doubt she wants you to life life with regrets.
You say listen even if I do this my whole life,
and I never make it, I'll still find a way
to hold up my end of the bargain whatever bargain
we make.
And, I'll you know, I'll find a way to carry my load.
You tell her you love her.
Do you love her?
- Yeah.
- Have you told her you love her?
- Kind of.
- Kinda?
Maybe think about tell her how you feel.
- Yeah.
- Well get on the road, why don't you give me a hug?
Come on in, buddy.
I know you don't like these hugs.
- I'm sorry, man.
- It's all right, don't sweat it, man.
It was entertaining.
I'm proud of you.
- Good.
- You're giving off good energy.
- I'm actually gonna bask in this energy,
what you're leaving behind.
It's pretty nice.
(dramatic guitar music)
- Just let me talk to you for a minute, okay?
Can you come outside?
I want to show you something.
(dramatic guitar music)
Come on.
- [Ebby] Isn't that you car.
- [Scottie] Yeah.
- Why is there a suitcase on it?
- Look I'm gonna do this acting thing, okay?
'Cause it's who I am.
It's what I love.
But, I promise you that I will hold up
whatever end of my bargain that we make
you know if you want to make a bargain with me.
But, I'm going to New Orleans.
I want you to come with me.
- When?
- Now.
- You think I can just hop in your car and drive
to New Orleans.
- I mean yeah I guess I didn't think about it.
I mean yeah.
- No, I have a life and responsibilities
I have to tend to.
- So this is the end then?
- No, I can come visit you.
Hopefully even in the next few months.
- Okay, I'm gonna go then.
I'm gonna go to New Orleans.
(country music)
I'm gonna go.
- So you wanna come in and do a little love making
before you go?
- Yeah I do, I really do, but I'm not gonna do that
because I want to show you that I'm not sexually motivated.
- Okay.
- Okay, so I'm gonna go to New Orleans.
(country music)
I mean what's an hour?
- It's nothing.
- Right, I'm not perfect.
- No, you're not.
A little love making will be good for you.
- It will.
- [Ebby] Or, it'll be better with my sister.
- [Scottie] That is so wrong.
- [Ebby] Is it?
- [Scottie] I guess I deserve it.
- [Ebby] You know your life would be so much better
if you just kept your life shut.
- [Scottie] I know.
Yeah, honey you're my best friend
I got a desk 'cause it feels so good now
Dance with me, baby
- Hello?
Papa needs a cocktail.
- Are you sure you don't wanna stay and eat?
- This little piggy stayed home.
You like this don't you?
- [Woman Off Camera] Mark.
- Help me I don't know my right and my left.
- [Man Off Camera] It's all in the feet.
- [Scottie] You ready?
- [Man Off Camera] Let's see your pterodactyl face.
- Is that a reference to the vagina?
- Is it?
- Vagina.
- There are celebrities coming out of the woodwork
just for little day player roles on this one.
I heard Tom Cruise is gonna be a store clerk.
Kevin Bacon's gonna be some type of priest
with a bum leg.
Michael Cera is gonna play a tiny baby.
Jimmy Super Fly Snuka is gonna be in this one.
- I want Scottie.
- [Arlo] I sorry he needs some sternness.
- Hey well take me card.
- But, I love him.
- I know I like him too.
- He's perfect.
- He's ideal.
But, that other guy is hostile.
- It's Moses fucking Duval that we're talking about here.
When he gets a vision, he sticks to it.
- I bet he's not SAG.
- I bet he's not SAG.
- Man, he can't fold paper.
- I wonder where his parents are?
- The guy was a professional magician at the age of 10.
- Bring him back.
I want to tell him a little more about the story.
It's a line I just dropped, and I'd like to bring
it back in there.
- He broke my nail.
- [Man Off Camera] Then the storyline.
- This little piggy had a rough day.
And, this little piggy had none.
And, this little piggy got in the car and went
to New Orleans.
My little baby said that you're my friend
I want to love you till it never ends
I said yeah
Yeah honey you're my best friend
- [Man] One, two, three
Well I've fallen for a girl
She don't want me anymore
I'm so lonesome
I could hang
My head and cry
She was my darling
My only love
And, now she's all
I'm thinking of
And, now she's gone
And left with hope
I hear she's with
Somebody new
I'm so lonesome
I could hang
My head and cry
Cry, cry, cry
Cry, cry, cry
(wind chimes ringing)
- I would like to ask you, and I know
this is a controversial one.
Why the decision to have a blind cinematographer.
- Like a chive.
- [TV Interviewer] I think you're okay.
- Yeah.
(tongue clicking)
(guitar music)