The Golden Scallop (2013) Movie Script

Okay, we got three Lob rolls,
platter, three fish and chips, chicken
fingers, onion rings, two fried
clams all day. Lets go people! -Okay, I got the Lob rolls.
-Ah guys, we do many platters.
-Get the drinks done, Mikail, -huh buddy!
-How are those clams, Seth?
-Golden Brown just the way you
like them, huh? Excellent, that's what I'm
talking about. -Come on people,
keep it going. Those look perfect. Is that
fish and chips with flounder or
with cod? -The cod fish!
-Mikail, I told you that we
eighty-sixed the cod.
I thought that was the flounder? -If it was the flounder, we
would have eighty-sixed the
flounder Ru. -Ha, ha, ha -Very funny with the sarcasm.
-It's easy. Alright, where are
the chicken -tenders, I got no, nevermind
got them. -I'm sure they're
right in the fridge. -How are we on time? How are we
on time?! We are at 58:35 guys,
pick up the pace this is the
home stretch. We can do this! -Guys, one more ticket left.
Here we go, wrap it up Mikail,
wrap it up for me baby. -Chicken tenders!
-Chicken tender in the window.
-Do you have all the condiments? -Alright, tell me when you're
ready. Tell me when you're done.
-Come on!! -Hang on, hang on, hang on.
-Tell me we got a record, -tell me we're under an hour.
-59:45, personal best! -That's a record baby!
-Crush the fish!! -The onions! We forgot the
onions. -Seth, the onion rings again!
-How stupid can you be -Seth, how stupid can you be?!
-It could be my fault, I mean I,
I... -Well check on the tickets for
me. That's what you're suppossed
to . -Look, I can only be a
buffer. -You can't even follow up on
your tickets? I'm just saying.
-Shut up! Stop. That just cost us "The Golden
Scallop." Line it up and lets
run -it back.
-Lindsay, I no can do this
again. I have work in two hours. Hey Mitch, you gotta try one of
these fishwich. There's something fishy about
it. It's about as addictive as
the first season of "Hill Street Blues." I think
it's got nicotene in it. Hahaha. Splendid.
Well, the Martin Boys are back, winning the online vote
for great seafood from a mobile
location. The Caped Cod has committed
itself to quality and received
the invitation they have always wanted. And one of my
all time favorites, The Happy
Hooker has regained prominence.
-Having Lindsay back has -really, helped them, it's been
great. -Right now we're on our
way to the Lobster Tail, winner of the
eighth championship. 1976, what a year! The Judge never stops
researching. My nephew Mitch and I keep
scorecards. Evaluating
accuracy, flair in the kitchen, speed and of course taste. This being the 43rd
championship, it would be easy
for me to fall off my game, so I have to keep in prime eating
shape. I could never eat this
food if it wasn't in the name of the
championship. -Yea, that would
be, that would be impposible. I like to think of myself as
the HIghlander. With every meal I eat, I absorb
the power and become a stronger, more
accurate judge! The Judge gets his power from
food, not decapitations.
-I'm not afraid of death. I would eat fried clams until
Mitch here had to pry the last,
delicious morsel from my cold dead hand, if it
meant maintaining the integrith of the
championship. That's actually a scenario that
we've discussed. Many times. Two Caped Cod specials, with
slaw. You guys have a wonderful
meal and let me know if you
need anything. -Why not wear capes?
-We're on Cape Cod. That's what we asked ourselves
twelve years ago when we first
got into this business. And I
think the numbers really speak for
themselves. And this, is the
first year it's finally been rewarded
with a Golden Scallop
championship. Ths Fsh is Frsh. It's a slogan
I'm working on it utilizes consinents. It's a
literary thing, it's a work in
progress. It really is an honor to have
been seleceted by Judge
Wellington. We were beginning to think that
he didn't like us. But we have
no doubt that we're going to
win. None at all. We have attractive
young women, serving grerat
food at a reasonable rate, all while wearing capes.
I mean what's not to like about that?
-Well I don't like it... I LOVE
it. We do have the best staff
though, friendly, tight young girls serving the
food. And we have a wonderful
French chef, Marcel Depaul flown here for the summer. I
don't understand a word he says.
-Yea, we flew him in from
France. Oh and we have the most amazing
manager, Corey. He is just a dream and he's
been with us since the start. -If I was five years younger.
Haha. -If I was five years
younger. And not married, and gay. Oooh,
errrr. I'm going to be the tastiest
treat, Ooh fish the most delicious meat,
babidilly bahaha hooo hooo sizzle. Wyatt's drawing from
his seat and the Fishmonger can't be
beat. Wy-bidilly babooba oooh
oooh... -I like the sizzle part.
-Sizzle!! Hi, I'm Jake Martin and this is
my brother Wyatt Martin. -Hello. We are the proud co-owners and
co-operators of the smallest big deal in town.
The Fishmonger! The Capes only fried seafood restaurant on
wheels. -We couldn't afford a
stationary one. And we're just so happy to be
back here in The Golden Scallop
Championship, which is a competition that we were lucky
enough to be a part of ten
years ago. -Doug! Shut up.
-You ain't the boss of me!
-We have the movie cameras here. -It's embarassing. -Don't listen to him, he's
kinding. -We have a hobo
infestation. -The last four years have been
really tough. I haven't been in
a good place. -Well not just
Wyatt, both of us. Since the doors to Martin's
Fish closed we've had some dark times. Alright Agatha, it's time for
your session. Both paws, that's
it. And, let it out. It's been rough, but between
the loyal fan base, with Doug. The better story really is... Wyatt's incredible artistry and
how this got us into the
championship this year through the online vote.
-So when we named it the
Fishmonger, I knew that it had to be our next
comic. And I haven't properly
given tribute to my Nana. -It's modeled after our Nana.
-So I wanted to, and went from there. SHe cuts fish
and does all this stupid stuff
during the day that we have to do. But at
night, she kills things. If it's somebody that's dumping
oil into a dolphin pool she's gonna save it. Or if it's
a hobo that's stealing cans, she'll
kill him. She'll kill him She'll let him bleed out. Or
maybe it's Cecil Martin. -Whoa!
Cecil?! We'll hang him up at town
center and have a little pinata
party. Just a full on beat down. Let
him go, let him go. Let the blood come out like
candy! -And that's all we did,
we took the online vote, and
linked it to the online comic and here we
are, talking to you.
Fishmonger!! But the problem is, most of the
people that like us, they're in
Japan. I would like to use this time
though to thank my Japanese
fans and there continued support. I
prepared something. -Arigato. Fishmonger ichiban!
-Ichiban, Fishmonger! Arigato. Don't, I prepared it, you're
going to patronize them with it. Well patronage is good. It's
like another work for
customers. Patronage!! And could I interest you in a
couple extra slices of bacon,
my little culinary cupcake. Dad, I don't eat pork. Oh yea that's right, that was
your mom. I'm sorry sweatheart,
geez maybe I got some ground turkey, I could make you
some turkey sausages. Hang on
here, I can find them. Nope, it's fine dad. The eggs
are just fine. Oh shit. Shit! The Golden Scallop people
announced to the public that
we're in the championship, dad. Hey I got some ground beef. I
could make some cheeseburger
omelettes or something like
that. Yea, but it's going to be in
every paper, dad, on every food
website. I mean, we are not ready for this type of
business. What do you want to
do? What are we going to do? This ground beef is no good.
Repeat, do not eat the ground
beef! -Bye dad.
-Hey wait a minute, I got
parmesan! Marcy, Marcy turn your arm up
when you scoop no drip drop on the table. Day
of the announcement, we're
always very busy, we're always
very ready. Come on girls! Move it, move
it, focus. Wendy, keep that
back arched. Chest out, smiles up, capes
back! You all have nice teeth,
that's why you were hired, so use it. Use
the teet and something else.
You know what I'm saying, you
know whatI'm talking about. You know what I mean? Honey
you're doing great. High five! Well something I learned during
the dot-com boom of the
nineties was the importance of leadership. And to remain calm in the
craziest of circumstances. Thank you, Wednesday. We worked hard, but we played
Harder. But now, I just get to play.
Cindy's more the hands on go getter type owner. My
management style is a little more subdued. I like to give the girls and
Corey a look. Just to let them
know I'm supporting them. Man, the nineties were crazy. -There's that scumbag.
-That's our dad Cecil Martin, and he's
poisoning the lobster supply at
Harry's Fish. He actually did that at nine
different places so you can see
he's quite adept at it. Allegedly. I mean, this is the
only one they had the video
evidence of. The only thing redeeming about
this video, is that he's about
to get the business. -Four years of suffering, boom!
-He was tried and convicted of
eco-terrorism over four years ago, and the
public still hasn't forgiven
him, but we have. -I haven't forgiven him.
-On a positive note all of the attention from The
Golden Scallop Championship has
reminded people of an old slogan. -Suck it Martins!!! Don't keep telling people to do
that, it's not good. It's good to see Dad again
though. -You have nice eyes.
-Oh, thank you. Real great, real great, busiest
day of the year and we can't
get one order right. I'm in the weeds and Mikail's
over there, chatting it up with
anyone he can. Sorry Seth, I do
not understand the America, in
mother Russia, communism covers
my ass from working. Oh I would love to have a group
of workers, picking up my slack while I'm in the bear
den making bears all night. But
no, no I'm here. -I'm always here.
-Nicole, could you help Mikail
please since he seemes to be
completely incapable of doing his only
job. He's totally weeded. -What do you mean weeded? I have
customer talking to, what?
-Mikail, I can see the weeds. Okay, I need those two fish and
chips yesterday chef. before, we're fine, we can
totally do this. Maikail get to
work!! Oh great Mikail, why don't you
sweep up the imaginary dust that is why your country
collapsed comrade, right there. That is very funny Seth,
because I am from Belarus and I
was maybe like one, two years
old when Soviet Union fell, so...
-I don't need the monalogue,
just sweep! Just let it go, breath, relax
Seth. You got this. Remember, I
need you for that championship. That's right Lindsay. Stay calm
Seth. Women love the calm. Hi, my name's Seth and I am an
addict. I'm addicted to stress. Haha. No but seriously, I cannot get
enough of deadlines And I think that's why I enjoy
kitchen work so much, and of
course why I love making custom stuffed
bears. Fifteen years ago, I was always
partying. And I was kind of like the cool
guy, to Lindsay and her friends. But, you can't always be the
party animal. Sometimes you gotta be the guy
that makes the party animal. I've been customizing these
bears for almost eight years now. Can't get
enough of it. In the beginning, it was rough
man. Because, I didn't have any direction. But one day, when Lindsay, well she was visiting
from college. And I was showing her my work. She happened to mention how
much she missed the then
recently departed, Rodney Dangerfield.
And it just clicked. Because, every business,
they're looking for
specialization. And it just hit me, make custom
bears that look like dead
celebrities. And thus Obitu-Bears was born and it's
been a hit commercially. I was actually suppossed to
have my first gallery appearence in a few weeks, but it
conflicts with the championship. So, I get to fry
cook instead of customizing my Teddy's. Winning the GOlden Scallop
award, it really make Lindsay and Buzz the happiest. And it
would be great to know that we were talented, but most
importantly Lindsay would be
happy. So, I'd rather that then some silly display of stuffed
animals. Isn't that right, Black Beard?
Arrgghhh Matey!! Black Beard. Hahaha. Aaaarrrgh. -Jake, one Lob roll... Oh no.
-Chowder man!! -Hey Doug!
-Jake! -This isn't the cup, sorry Doug.
-Oh, that's my bad, that's my pee cup. I can't tell you
how many times I make that mistake.
-Six times Doug.
-You counted? Yes, I count. Unlike you, you
hobo, I count. In a perfect world, I would
build the rocket ship I've been
designing and put Doug on it and send it into orbit, and get
him lost at the moon. And then
I'd have a remote control and
I'd blow it up at the end and he would die in
space. But not from the
explosion, from the pressure
hitting head, and then jarring Out!!! Hoorah! Lets do this. The Judge loves his rules, but
what makes the GSC so
compelling is the fact that the
audience plays such a large part in the
voting process, accounting for
a total of forty percent of the total score for each
restaurant. Now here's how it
works, each restaurant has one
hour to complete one hundred orders.
They're being judged on flair,
accuracy and they can receive bonus
points for speed. So
theoretically they could earn more than one
hundred points if they really
had a top dog day. Right, the importance of taste.
All that only equals thirty points, which leaves a
whopping seventy points left for taste. Which is, by
far the most important part of the judgeing process to
the judge himself and... (phone ringing) One second. Hey Judge. Yea, I think we could make the
pinata work, sure. Okay, enjoy your shrimp. I love
you too. Okay, Bye. The last part, we can... Right? Okay. Does this fish want to swim
into your mouth and fall into
your tummy? Is that the color we want? Make them golden, yeah? No!! -What are you doing miss?
-Taking this plate.
-It isn't ready yet what have we told you?
-Don't touch the plates until
you say so but Corey told me to.
-Oh, is Corey the chef?
-I need that plate out Marcel it's fish and chips, not foie
gras. -Boys please, you can take
that plate honey. Oh, wait a minute. Well I come from the finest
culinary background training in Lyon, then in Paris and then a brief stint in the
Las Vegas. I come here to win this little
championship. And because the money is good,
it's very good, right? I do not
care so much for the food, but if Miss
Williams wants to put out Shit that is her right. I worry not
so much about making the
quality perfect but in asking the right
questions. I am like the film director,
no? Like me and you, it's the
same idea. Except I am like the Christoff
Nolan, no and you are the Brett
Ratner. See, because I do not believe
in telling someone what to do.
No. Instead I simply say something
like... Would you like to eat these
cold fries Fernando?! No?! Then why would you serve
them?! When I ask the questions, it is
like these terribly untalented and
untrained people can come to the same answer as a world renowned
chef. Like Marcel Depaul. That is me, no? -Hey
-How are we on the books? A little behind but doing
better, starting to thin out
some in here but we were really swamped earlier.
Fantastic work, everybody loved
it. -Really? I feel like we were
putting out absolute crap. -No. I mean, it's just a lack of
focus, that's all there is to
that. -But uh...
-Cut one more onion, I'm going
to snap! Yes, only three competitors per
team in the kitchen. No, no it's nothing like "Iron
Chef." Well, it's more like uh, like
uh... "American Idol," meets, "Murder
She Wrote." Well the intrigue, that's why. Yes, I would be Angela Lansbury. Alright, I'll see you in a week. Who was that? -Boston Globe.
-Angela Lansbury.
-Haha. Great actress.
-Oh yeah. Now what have you got going
over there with my tournament? I'm just putting the finishing
touches on the Fisherman's Ball
and working on the opening
ceremonies. I've been meaning to talk to
you about this, what do you
think of a pyrotechnic show to kick off the tournament. -I don't know if we have room
for it in the budget. -Yes, but
what do you think Mitch? Dream
the dream! -Sounds great.
-You know, I was watching the Pro wrestling last night.
And it's really the fireworks
that make the entrance. Can you imagine
the Judges intro? Huh?! Here he is, the man with the
clam, the ravenous the elastic sided, Judge
Wilfred Wellington! Boom!! And the fireworks go off and it
blows the, "Iron Chef,"
straight out the water!! -Goddammit am I proud to be a
Wellington!! -But we can't do it?
-No. Order up. Coming down. I'll get this one. That'll be
$8.50 please. Suck it Martin! -Right hand green.
Right hand green okay, lets go! That was fun, right? We got
twisted. We're calling people everyday
trying to expand on the Cape.
We want to become the In N' Out Burger of Cape
Cod, but with fried fish. Franchising and expanding in
the area can be tricky. But, with winning a
championship, the acclaim achieved... yeah. Will
almost demand six, seven, eight -Maybe ten.
-Nine, I'm getting there hold
on. Nine Ten Caped Cods, within a thirty
mile area. But we're having this party
today to celebrate what we
have, not what we're eventually
going to have. It's just that, you know, this
is our baby. And it's almost a teenager. And
I just can't believe how much we've all grown. It's okay. She gets a little
choked up. Because we could never have any
children. -Steve shoots blanks. I do! But, I wanted to adopt. We did adopt, a now twelve year
old caped money making machine. We're very proud. Prouder
probably than a real child, we
would be. This third summer in America,
Cape Cod. In Belarus, in my home country,
I complete specialized
secondary education studies in Nutrition. And I hope one day, maybe become, like, I
don't know successful multi-millionaire
health guru. Why not, you know. Of course here I work at super
market stocking grocery and at Happy Hooker. It's life.
You know I keep register perfect always and I
am very much people person. So anyway, I come here for
summer to work, only. And maybe get laid. But, I don't want to win Golden Scallop for
anything other than the bonus
money we get. That's it, you know? I don't
like America, I think it's very
fat very rude, no offence. But, I
do like the money And hopefully when I get back
to my home country my village, I will be like a
baller. You know what I mean
man? Okay, see you later! -Thank you all for coming in
this morning, we know you have
very bu. -But rules are rules! That's right Judge. Now shall
we get down to business. (phone
ringing) Sorry I have to take this. It's
a music therapy client. Wyatt
can take notes? Okay. So each competing
restaurant will have three
employees per mock kitchen. There will be
two cooks and one expeditor. -No more no less!
-Of course, of course. Now I have taken the orders in
advance and personally hand
written all of them all of them out. And they will
be handed out randomly during
the competition so as to ensure as much
fairness as possible. -Okay, great.
-Oh it's the best, Lindsay.
Life isn't always fair. Take for example poor Shawn
Hunter in "Boy Meets World." Born into a
trailer park. Absentee mother. Works his way through a
difficult adolescence. Ends up
taking all the wisdom Mr. Matthews and
George Feeney can give him. Does quite well in college.
Albeit not the greatest
television in the later years, but I cared for them. -Are you paying attention
Wyatt?! -Yeah, Topanga was hot. -Besty Randle, she was Corey's
mom. -Anyway, we just want to
have a fun and fair competition, one that
not only lives up to the
previous forty two years but makes the 43rd annual
Golden Scallop Championship the
best one yet.
-So make sure your teams are
motivated and ready to go. Oh I will have them ready
Judge, no worries. I'm sure you will Lindsay. Also, the Fisherman's Ball is
the night before the
competition, so make sure you
have your finest attire.
-Oh, open bar?
-Even better, all you can eat
scallops. -Wrapped in bacon?
-Of course.
-Ah, Steve will be so happy. That's so Steve! Can I get a drink order on six
please? Here we go guys! Don't get lazy back there, keep
moving. Looking good Laura!
Alright, here we go six top walking in. I have been here since I was
sixteen years old. I went away
for a bit to study architecture
at Hobart but my heart always remained
here at the Caped Cod. Cindy is like a mom to me, uh well no, that would be weird.
She's more like a cool, older, attractive woman
that never judged me on my age
or experience and has given me a great
opportunity. We just, we're
like... you know? We just feed off each
others energy, put out a great
product. Steve's great too. I like
working for him. We haven't seen a huge bump in
business, so Wyatt's on
promotions today. Suck it Martin!! With the Fisherman's Ball
coming up, it's important we
get practice actually talking
to people. Every customer is a friend you
haven't met. Right baby bro? Haha. (Claw)bbered! Good idea, save your energy for
the lunch rush. Every
Stranger's just a friend you haven't met. Waiting for the
lunch rush on Monger's back
deck. Lindsay, you shut place down or
what? -No, no, no, no, no.
-Look, I'm really sorry Linds,
is it me?
-No, relax guys. Everything is fine. After
talking to the Judge today I just wanted to tell you
a story. An inspirational one! To get us ready for service
today. -Quiet. Quiet!! Go ahead Linds-O. Some of you might know this, but a couple years back, I was
coming home from a bar, and I maybe had one too many. I get
pulled over and I know that I'm going to
get a DUI. I throw my keys
outside my window hop out of the car and then I
chug the emergency pint of
vodka that I keep in the glove compartment,
right infront of the cop. He
can't tell if I was drunk,
before when I was driving or after. The only
thing he could hit me up with
was public intoxication. -That's genius.
-What? I guess what I'm trying to say,
is that sometimes even when you mess
up. You know like really,
really, really really mess up. You can make it
better, by just going over the
top with it. You know? Own your mistakes. If
you make a mistake, just own
them. And then find a way to leverage
them to success. -I love it. Yes Mikail. Is DUI like the UTI? -Why do you even know that word?
-You don't want to know baby. Hahaha. So the plate bottom is covered
in tartar sauce. So everything on the plate is
touching the tartar sauce. And we call it, "Sea of White
Plate." -People love tartar sauce. I
know I do. -Cherry, can you come
over here for a second? Rikki-tikki-tavi. Every year, the girls and the
rest of the staff, they get a
little complacent in the middle of the summer.
And usually, I'll let Corey
handle it. But with the added pressure of
the championship, I am going to
have to resort to a tried and true method, dating back to
when I was the most popular
girl in all of Harwich Middle
School public humiliation. Girls listen up! This is how
you are not suppossed to look and act. Cherry here, and thank
you for this, is a prime example of what a loser at The Golden
Scallop will look like. Coincidentally, this is also
what a young, poor, pregnant
teen looks like, in case you
were wondering. Get out of my sight. Corey, go
console her! Not too much compassion,
compassion's a weakness.
Alright girls, get back to work. Chest out, smiles up, capes
back! Go, go, go, go. Look I don't like doing it, I
never have. But whether it's
Peggy Andrews, in seventh grade
social studies flirting with the boy that I
like or an innocent young girl
in a cape I'm going to do whatever it
takes to get what I want. -Does
she remind you of a bad war
general? Yes. Like, you are going
through Russia during winter. Do you want to
mistreat your troops? Napolean, Hitler, -----. Well we ain't got no customers but we got good fish and chip.
And I'm thinking regardless of mood that
positivity is hip. Oh cod fish, you're the
loneliest Fiiiiissssshhhhh. Cod fish, you're the lonliest fish. (humming) ...liest fish Cod fish you're the lonliest...
Hey Wyatt, I think we got one! 52, 19, 220. Haha. Undistractable, can't be
messed up can you? I'm just about done here. You,
um need anything?
-Nope, just about done myself. Just a couple days till the
championship. Ahhhh! Hahaha. Business has been pretty
awesome, it's been great.
Imagine if we win this thing it would be Insane!
-Yes, Seth, that would be
insane. I'm just gonna go home, I
think. I'm gonna watch, "Honey" that Jessica Alba dance movie,
something like that. Probably drink Barolo, my
favorite red wine, just chill
out. Well that sounds fantastic. You could come... you could
come over if you wanted to, just saying.
Totally. Yeah, actually that would be
awesome. I don't think I've done
anything like that in forever. Should we take seperate cars? A girls night is really what I
needed, and Seth is just the
best. He's like the gay uncle I never
had. (Glass shattering) -Oh my god, are you okay?
-Now it's a party!! -Do you want some help?
-No, no, no, you stay right
there. I got lots of glasses. Day before the championship and
the Fisherman's Ball tonight. A
million things to do but I insisted on coming down
here and checking on the
staging. I pulled in a few favors from
my days on the bench, got some
felons to build a stage, part of a work crew. I
don't know how that sits
legally, but it's all in the
name of the Scallop. Wilson! Great
progress you're making. -Oh, Thank you sir, It's coming
along nicely. -Are we going to
be ready for tomorrow? -I don't
see why not, Well if that's the case, how
about those modifications? You
know the ones I emailed you? Mitch told me to disregard all
the emails the Judge sends, but
this one is just too good. "I was
wondering if it wouldn't be too
much trouble if you could build the Judges booth to
resemble the space time
navigation system from Quantum
Leap. There will be some extra coin
in it for you." Then he
proceeds to send me a link to a video of, "Quantum Leap,"
as if I don't know what he's
talking about. Man I love me some Scott Bakula!
-Hey Boys. -I know most of these boys.
Yeah, I remember when you
locked up Tommy. -Yeah, he's a real bad one.
-He's a wild one. Dad, are you coming or what? We have to leave in like fifteen
minutes. -Oh, the Fisherman's
Ball, right. -Hey listen, I don't know if I'm
going to make it this year.
-What do you have to do? I got to wax the floors, I got
to re-arrange the ice box -I got change the lint trap on
the washing machine. -Dad, are
you worried that people are
going to ask you about mom? No, no, no, of course not. It's just, I got a ton of stuff
I got to get done. You
understand. Have a good time without me. -Just make sure that you're
there tomorrow. -Of course. Because I really need you to
help. I've never cooked in one
of these before and you have. -So I need your help.
-Sing your problems out... Oh, just sing your problems
out. This is really happening. Oh, you shouldn't be so
nervous Wyatt. Shouldn't be so
nervous Wyatt. Shouldn't be so bervous, what
do you mean? Everyone's going
to hate us in there. -EVerybody already does hate
us inside there, there's
nothing else we can lose right? That's true, everyone does hate
us. Everyone does hate us. If I sing my problems out, then
everyone's going to hate us
even more... -People couldn't hate us more!
-Haha, that's true. Help me out, lets do, what's
the worst that can happen Wyatt? What's the worst that could
happen Wyatt? I got one. We could go in and they'd be
like, hey there's those tourney
wiz kids, no it's the
despicable Martin's. Oh no! Judge wellington mistook your face for a
scallop and his creepy
assistant date rapes me. Right? Is that going to happen?
Is it likely? Not likely, only like a two
percent chance. Well let's not think about that
and lets focus on what's the
best that could happen. -What's the best that could
happen Wyatt? -So we walk into
the Fisherman's Ball With our heads held up real,
real tall. Everybody's clapping Nana's just napping and Cecil
Martin's blood is all over the
floor! -Whoa, what is dad doing?
Blood. -He's dead! I do feel a lot better. Let's
just go in there! You're right.
What's the worst that could
happen? Kill dad! Hello! So we're here at the
Fisherman's Ball and our entire Judging panel
has arrived. Judge Wellington
of course celebrity food bligger, Sharon
Jennings. The author of the
wealthy palete. And ahh our third... to determine our third judge my
Uncle went a little crazy with
fan participation and held a haiku poetry contest.
The prompt was "What does fried fish mean to
you?" And the winner was Bootstraps
over there, local fisherman. I'm just a little concerned,
because Bootstraps isn't really
the most socially graceful. And he
smells like dead seals. We have a lot of seals on the
cape and they've recently gone
missing. And I think he knows something
about it. Steve. Steve. Do you see anything out of the ordinary right now?
-Now that you mention it. Corey. -Come here.
-Come here?
-Yeah, come here. -There we go. There that's
better. -Thank you. -You ran a multi-million dollar
company at some point? -Yeah. One more, here I completed this
last week. These are amazing Seth. It's
really good craftsmenship. So, you take the dead famous and you make into bear? -Exactly, yeah.
-Could you make one of my
Landlord? Well he's not famous Mikail,
that's what Obitu-bears is
about. I think regular people would
like to be memorialized by them
too. -They're sweet bears.
Yeah, I see where you guys are
going with this, I like that. Yes, there are so many bears to
make dead people out of. That is a great idea, Russian
boy. Steve Williams. The prince of
darkness here is onto
something. WIth the right marketing strategy, these could
take off. -I think with the
right artwork too you could get them all over the
internet. -That would be great,
that's what I want to do. I want
to have a whole online store. No Seth, you make a bear of my
landlord like a voodoo bear, and then he
die. Because he needs to. -Hey a voodoo bear? No. Lindsay
help me out here. -I'm gonna go
get another drink What are you writing? -Just notes for my blog.
-Judge Wellington. I just
wanted to apologize for missing the meeting the
other day. -Oh, forget about
that son, just glad to have you
back in the competition. -Oh, so good to be back.
-Jake Martin was one of the
best chefs I ever met. What would you say your
signature dish is Jake? Positivity and friendship.
Clams, lobster roll.. the whole
thing is just treating the fish gently
as it goes into the batter and
then on the other end it just comes
out golden brown. -Splendid! -I
know where it was, your one of
those boys from the scandal I read
about. -No, that was the father. It's amazing these boys have
the courage to cook up all that
food knowing that everyone despisises their namesake.
-Thank you. It's like when everyone hated
Jack on the island, but he kept
onwards, headstrong. -Yes, but Locke was almost
always right. -Oh, hodge podge,
Jack was the back bone of the show and the
island. -I never got that show What was the polar bear about? Yeah, in the "Lost." Right? The polar bear, the white polar
bear. I just didn't get that. -You actually said that to him.
Oh my god. -New York is like
that, it's just so alive, you
know you can just do anything and
it's exciting. Now I'm just this little old fish lady.
-One who is in the largest
fried seafood championship in the east. That's
not too shabby. -I know but I
don't even care about it, I came back to help
my dad and now it seems like he
doesn't even care so I don't even know what I'm
doing here. I'm just bored, you
know? Well you're not boring. Ah, thank you Rich. I really think Lindsay and I
are hitting it off. And she seems like a pretty
special girl. -I haven't met your partner.
This is Fernando my sous chef.
-Fernando Misushef? -You kill Lobster?
-Yeah, I kill a lot of
lobsters. Oh, my dad. My dad poisoned lobsters, I
still kill lobsters. -No bien. -This is most boring party I've
ever been to. -I don't know
where she is, so you have to
chill. Well, thank you all for
attending. I know you're all very excited about
tomorrow's contest. I thought I'd like to introduce
you to the other judges. We have Miss Sharon Jennings
who does some sort of writing
thing. And local fisherman and winner
of the first annual haiku for fried food contest,
Bootstraps MacMahon. Bootstraps, do you wanna come
up here and read your haiku? Thank you. "Fried food," by Bootstraps MacMahon. Darkness takes the sees John succumbs to the waters I need a fishwich
Bootstraps "Un-title," by Bootstraps MacMahon. Innocent Oysters The moon sees all your sins My stomach forgives. Bootstraps! (applause) You look like hell, Mitch. -Yes Judge.
-A good time last night, huh? -Yes Judge.
-You know, the morning of the championship is the best So much promise, the air is full of anticipation and excitement. -Can you feel it Mitch?
-Yes Judge. I don't believe you, but you've
done a good job so I'll let it
slide. In a few short hours, these
tables will be full and this stage will be flush
with competitors and we, Mitch we will crown a new Champion! Yes!! -I love you Judge.
-I love you too. Do you think I could be a Judge
one day? Maybe. Maybe not. -Hello
-Hey -We are here to register for the
Happy Hooker. -Great! I have you down, Lindsay, as a
cook and manager. Seth, as a
cook and your expeditor is Mikail
Solvaka. -Solvanka. Sol... yes. Okay, if you guys
could just sign this form here. It's just
an insurance thing in case the grease pops
on your face and melts. And I'll also need a valid
drivers license from each of
you, or in your case a green card. And we're all fit
to fry. Lindsay, I no have green card.
You know this did you read the rules?
-I don't read rules?
-Well then fix it. So, Mikail doesn't have either
of those, he just has a temporary visa.
-It's J-1.
-J-1? Um, okay. I'm sorry guys but I
think I'm going to have to deport you. Hahaha. No, I'm just joshing. Most of my amigos are illegals
anyway. I will have Seth make a bear of
you!! They have to be dead before I
make the bears. I'm Peter Galixton, on location
at the 43rd annual Golden
Scallop Championship. Now for all you newbies out
there, lets go over the rules. The best three seafood
restaurants on the Cape,
squaring off against each other for culinary domination. Now
all three restaurants will be
cooking at the same time to prove who is the best. With
a turn out of around three
hundred patrons each team will be responsible
for exactly one hundred orders. Now each order has been hand
crafted by the Judge himself,
and will be released from their proverbial pandoras box
at the discretion of our
wonderful expeditors. Then, the audience fills out
evaluation forms at the end and
combined with the three juges
scores we get a champion! Have we mentioned how happy we
are to have you here at this
event? It's truly amazing. And I loved your piece on that
small place in the east village
with the best curry you've ever
had. Yeah, oh well if you're
interested in Indian, Thai,
Ecuadorian fusion, my friend is
writing a blog it's called
-Indian, Thai, Ecaudorian... Sounds like my last three
maids. Haha. Hahaha. Ole! These foodies, they really get
to me. Stuffy, pretentious. For all
Boostraps faults like his prdigious love of
methamphetamine like his prdigious love of
methamphetamine, he still likes
a good laugh a hardy meal.
-Alright, Steve, cut up some
more orange slices for everyone. -Do you have any grapes?
-No, haha, Marcy you are so
funny. This is America, we eat oranges
when we go into blood thirsty
battle. -Here Corey have one.
-Hit me again. Do you see what's going on
right now? Hydration, Marcel, hydration.
You guys probably use water which is why you lose so many
Tour de Frances. In your own
country. Um, why would it bother me? My
wife feeding orange slices to a young man.
It's not like they got to Spain once a year. One
year they went to Rio another year they went to New
Orleans and another to New York
City. And I am sitting here, in front
of you, unbothered. -The Fishmonger. One of them is
very somber. Fishmonger. -Somber is happy inside, calm
and ready to compete. That's
Wyatt. I just need your third member
to sign right here and we're
all set. -Nah, it's just the two of us.
-We're orphans. Well you're also adults and you
need three people per team so... -Having two people is more of a
challenge than anything. -You're
an adult -I know
-Both adults, we're all adults.
This is great! Alright guys, you're not going
to make me look like a fool out
there. You need three people to
compete, just go back to your place and then grab a third, you won't
be able to get on stage. -No, it
is just the two of us. Since
when do you need three people to
compete? -Those were the rules,
we went over this in the
meeting. Remember? The Judge was very clear. No, no. No. The Judge never
went over anything like this in the meeting. Ooohhh. What's the worst that could
happen, Wyatt? -Do you need some water?
-No, Mitch. -Mmhhscmmhmm
-What?! -You got pretty hammered last
night. Hahaha. -Yes. -Yeah I had a pretty crazy
night. -Yeah? What'd you end up
doing? -Eat all the salsa out of your
fridge or watch like, "Season of
the? -No, no. Nothing like that. I really
can't tell you. -Lindsay, you can tell me
anything. -Yeah? -Mmhmm. Okay, you know that guy who
follows around Judge Wellington? -Rich?
-No, Mitch.
-Motch, Mitch. Yes. Yeah, we sort of um, you know. Yeeaah. -You guys hit is off? Have a
couple drinks? -No. -This.
-After party? -No, this, we did that.
-You f k him?! Yeah, oh my god, I'm such a
whore. -Am I a whore?
-Hahahaha. You're a dirty whore!! Like a
DIRTY WHORE ! ! ! -You did that? Last night?
Hahaha. -Yeah. -It's so bad.
-It is bad.
-It,s bad. Yeah, yeah. I'm so glad that I have you
here, Seth. I feel like I can
tell you anything. -Dirty whore. Hahaha.
-Oh good, it's good to say. -It's good to tell somebody.
-Yeah, it's good to call it
like it is. -Are you ready to go?
-All good, ready to fry.
-You ready to fry? -I'll meet you out there.
-Good, I feel so much better.
Thank you for listening. Heck, yeah. Makes you wonder why I even
started Obitu-bears. Yeah so it's gotten to the
point where we just have to run
up to complete strangers. And ask them to join the
Fishmonger. Team Fishmonger! But, you know, every stranger
is a potential friend, so
that's good. But right now
they're all strangers! -Right baby? Lets go!
-Everyone hates us. -Guys I really messed up and I
need you guys to cook. -We could
use the baby! -Hoover!
-We need one more competitor
for the Golden Scallop. -Suck it Martin!!
-Could one of you stand on
stage and look delicious with
us? -Oh my god, you're so scared.
-We won't harm you We're not going to do anything
but have you be our teamate, for
fr. -She's giving us weird eyes. -I love you man.
-I love you, too. (in the distance) I've been
working on the railroad... -Oh no, defnitely not.
-DOUG!!!!! -Doug!
-Jake!! -She's a great girl, huh?
-Oh, the best. Watch it. Today we become champions. Now,
Marcel, get that food out quick.
Fe. -Si. -Corey, just keep getting those
plates out and looking cute.
-You keep looking cute, Corey. Okay, now I'm going to be in
the coaches box, routing you
guys on. Lets do this as fast as possible. That means
move it, Marcy. Go! Go! Go! Go! (everyone chanting) Caped Cod,
Caped Cod. Jake, I'm pretty nervous over
here. I think I should sing my
problems out. No! I mean, that only works
once baby bro. Hey, listen. We're in it to win
it. -If we don't no one's ever going
to take this name seriously.
-Yeah, but we're too slow. -I mean we're just two men and a
hobo. -That's the spirit! Hey,
you know what? You were right about dad. He
wasn't the best man, but one
thing he always said... Wyatt, if you go down in the
basement again when I'm working
on my special project, I'll
make sure that you can never fry again. And? Quality over quickness. That's the Martin way! (feedback) Testing, one, um... Welcome to the 43rd annual
Golden Scallop Championship! applause Three months ago, you all
bought your tickets and put
your food orders in. I'm sure your stomachs have
been looking forward to it
since then. I know I have. applause I love, nearly every restaurant
on the Cape. But I have to say, these three
have taken a very special part of my heart
this year. The Caped Cod. The Fishmonger. Booooooooo
-Suck it Martin!! And the Happy Hooker. So, without further ado, let's
binge eat! applause roaring applause (Air Horn) Clam strips, two lobster rolls
and a platter. Here we go. Three more clam
rolls, two lob rolls, fries and a seafood platter.
-That is the order?
-Yes. Why else would I ask you
for it? -I don't know, why would you?
-Just cook the food, please. -Less chatting, more cooking
Marcy. -Marcy... Okay I got two more fried clam
strips with a lobster roll. -I said two strips and a lob
roll, call back Seth. -Lob roll. Alright, Mikail, how are those
drinks coming? -Keep pushing okay, it's going
to get tougher. -(mocking) It's
gonna get tougher Mikail. We're down on the floor with
Jake Martin. Co-owner and head chef of the
Fishmonger, who apparently is
ambidextrous. -Jake, where did you develop
that amazing technique? -Oh, you
know, just something you pick up out of necessity, at the
Fishmonger... -Certainly is
necessary with what is going on in this kitchen. With
one squirly looking expeditor. -That's my brother, Wyatt!
-And what appears to be a
passed out vagrant on the floor. -Jake Martin, former culinary
wiz kid, is doing it all. -Hi
dad. Are you really going to eat
everything on every plate
that's given to you? Absolutely. Bootstrap even eats
the lemon rind. -Throw on some more hot dog
rolls so they are ready for the
lob rol. -No! Then the toasting will not be
fresh. Is that what we want? -And why did you already pour
that many drinks? -So I can just
throw them on the tray when the
order comes in. But, the soda will get flat. Do
you want to drink flat soda?! Carbination is my department!
This is how we're doing it. -Keep it rolling!
-El rollo, Fernando. Great start guys. Mikail, you
just keep pushing those drink
orders and I'll yell out the tickets.
And Seth, keep cooking like
you've been cooking all day.
You're doing awesome. -Yeah, maybe we could get Mitch
down here to coook instead, huh?
Th. -What? Guys, I'm just saying, it's
about to get real hairy. So,
just take it easy guys. Come on Lindsay, pull it
together! Mitch, we are nothing if we
don't have our objectivity. No. Lindsay?! You sly, old dog, I never
thought you had it in you. Neither did I.
-Hahaha. (cough) -I'm okay.
-John!! Boom! Oh that was beautiful. What did you guys think of this
last plate from the Caped Cod? Yeah, I agree with Bootstraps,
that the crispiness of the
clams just wasn't there. Soggy.
-Delicious, that was delicious. Ah, Wellington, you're such a
sweet man, but the problem is
you just like all food. -I bet you if they fried baloney
you would eat it. -Well of
course I would, that's great
stuff! -Mmm, baloney!
-Yeah. Only one more order remains and
from what I'm hearing, The
Caped Cod has a chance to break the all time record
for speed. At forty-eight
minutes, they're close to
putting out one hundred plates. I mean,
just look at Marcel go. Look at
the way he's breading that fish. It's like
the batter is adhering to every
flick of his French wrist. Marcel, do you think you can do
it? Do you? If you treat the fish well,
they treat you with equal
respect. Do you know what I
mean? Respecting fish, my kind of
man. And Corey has just put out
the last drink orders -Oh, the symmetry!
-Alright guys, one more order
of fish and chips and we are
out. -Fernando, get those fries on a
plate. Lets go! -Is it possible?
Can they do it? Time is running out. -Done.
-Amazing! Amazing! They did it! The record at the Golden
Scallop Championship has been
shattered. Move over in the history books
Salty Salmon, you've just been
beat by the Secretariat of fried fish! I can't believe how well it
went, we cooked so fast. And Corey looked good. Right?
Wearing the cape. Right? Oh Steve, I'm so excited right
now I could practically kiss
you. Well lets get crazy baby. Not too crazy. How we doing, Wyatt? -I think we're too slow.
-Let the food do the talking
baby bro. The Caped Cod is out already?
Shit, how is that possible? -Probably because they weren't out all n
-Mikail, you need to put tartar
sauce with the clams, not
cocktail sauce. -The tartar is gross, so much
mayo make them fat. -Tartar with
clams! -Seth, do you need an all day?
-Not from the girl that just
pulled an all-nighter. Seth, what the hell is your
problem? You need to get your
head in the game. You're behind
two onion rings, of course and I need a lobster roll, and
also I need fries on all these
plate. -Okay guys, we need one
platter small clams and extra calamari,
lets go. -Another platter?
Jesus, who made this order? -Probably your boyfriend who
ordered that one. -He isn't my
boyfriend and why do you even care? What,
do you not approve Seth? -Clams!
-Tartar, Mikail! No, the clams burn! I can't even serve this shit! They're falling apart out there. I know, they are just so
unorganized. I don't know how
they got into this contest. Championship. They were all
time favorites, Lindsay's been
running a great kitchen for her father earlier this
summer. -Well the tickets are
piling up and that food looks more bland than I thought
possible. Let the food do the talking,
Wyatt. Let the food do the talking,
Wyatt. Come on brother love! Bring it
home baby, bring it home. -Yeaaahhh! -It went amazing, I can't
believe Jake cooked so well, he
cooked hi. -Wyatt got every
single order right. -I think the food might be good
enough. -And it was really
amazing to see someone as worthless as Doug
prove just how ineffective he
could be. -Doug! -Shut the lights, they're coming
in the back door! -Fishmonger!! Great job Fishmonger. Now the
only competitor left, is the
Happy Hooker. This is good, the Fishmonger
beat us too, so they're done. You got a couple criminals and
a derelict, this is great. Good
job there. -Lindsay, we need to slow down.
This is too many tickets. -No,
if you can't handle it then why
don't you just walk. It's not like you're doing
anything anyway. Tension has reached an
unbelievable level in the Happy
Hooker kitchen. When there are knives, hot
grease and an almost impenetrable language barrier,
you have to assume the worst. What's this? Another man is
walking on stage. This is
surely illegal and very
exciting. -Stop! Stop! Stop!
-Only three in the kitchen Buzz. You know the rules. You'll get
yourself disqualified! Seth! Stand up and start
cooking, or I'm going to
personally dismantle every single bear you've ever made.
Mikail! Take a deep breath son. Just put what's on the ticket,
on the plate, or I'm putting
you on the next plane out of here.
Lindsay, sweetie, I love you
but you're doing a shitty job. Now there's no crying in my
kitchen. Lets finish up these
tickets folks! But dad, were going to get
disqualified if you come on
stage. And you're never going to
finish if I don't. And if
there's one thing the O'Hara's
have never done it's to leave a customer
hungry! Now get back to that
line. We're about to do some serious
weed whacking!! I learned that as owner and
most senior member of the Happy
Hooker, what a tremendous
diservice I was doing my daughter by not
criticizing her properly. -It's
like I got my old dad back. You know, the mean, tough guy I
grew up idolizing. -You guys sucked today.
-I know we got disqualified,
but we did serve every customer. -And we served them well.
-And we couldn't have done it
without you. -I know, you guys sucked.
-It's great to have him back. I knew the O'Hara's would never
stop serving you fine people,
even if they were disqualified. Sadly this ends the competition. Eat slowly and fill out your
scoring cards, so we can crown a new champion!
-Eat slowly, Judge? Move over Michael Phelps, the
Caped Cod has taken the reigns.
We're here with owners Cindy and Steve Williams. Guys,
what do you have to say? -We had faith in our kitchen and
they moved fast, so as long as
the. -Oh the food was great! The food was great. I mean, it
was golden brown perfection. I
am just so proud of all these
boys. -I can't imagine us losing this
thing. Not with how much it means to
Cindy and Steve. The food
wasn't perfect, but we were so efficient out there,
you know? You saw us. It's just such a shame that
chef Marcel has such a hard
time obeying Cindy and Steve. But sooner or later he'll find
out, you just have to do
whatever they ask you. Whatever they ask you. -When I see the Buzz coming
through the window, I was like
yes the ! -I know, you love him. -You were fantastic out there
Linds. -Oh! -Lindsay. -I need to talk to you for a
second. -Yeah, sure. You know that green card thing
you should really look into,
because it's super illegal. Listen I know they're
announcing the scores in a few minutes, but I just need
to tell you something. Oh no, no, no. Please stop
right there. I should say
something to you first. I think you did a great job.
I'd love to have you stay in my
country. -Or in your country, yeah?
-Well, I am a citizen.
-I live here three summers. -Okay, nine months, that's
not... -I know this country like
back of hand. -Oh. I'm so sorry about what I did
and how I told you. -Really?
-Yeah, of course. I mean it
wasn't fair with the way that you feel
about me. And you know, honestly Mitch is totally creeping me
out, so you're totally rescuing
me right now. -He is a total creep.
-Yeah, he does kind of have
that effect. I just need you to know how I
feel about you, no matter what. Yeah, Seth of course I know,
you're like my best friend or like an
uncle, you know? You're like
crazy Uncle Seth with the bears. Don't be so stressed, it's okay. You're so silly. Oh, hold on a
second. Hey Jake! You know the most dangerous
animal in the jungle is a
leopard. Because it comes... you're not
expecting it. So. It's the one that you don't
expect, but it's the one that
wins. -Hey, Mitch?
-Yeah. Doesn't get easier buddy. One
night. -One night.
-One night more than you. -So you have never really
watched Mork and Mindy. -No. So how do you know you don't
like it? Okay, honestly, Robin Williams
is a little hairy, and it kind
of creeps me out. -No offense, Bootstraps.
-Your closed mindedness amazes
me. An alien forms an unbreakable
friendship with a twenty-one
year old girl. Zaniness ensues. I mean that is
good television! The Judge can be a bit
overwhelming. But I thought the food was
actually amazing and the whole spectical was
just a delight. It was nice to see a small town
community rally around the food
like that. -Will you be back next year?
-No, absolutely not. The 43rd annual Golden Scallop
Championship is now closed. And I am full, I mean
ridiculously full. After difficult deliberation
and precise calculation of the fan ballot, we have a
champion. In third place, with a DQ,
comes the Happy Hooker. It has to be noted, they fought valiantly and everyone got fed.
And in first place we had one of the closest races
in Golden Scallop history. With an amazing sixty-eight
points out of seventy for taste. And
pulling it out by just half a point. The Fishmonger wins! What a day. What a championship! Oh, uh, that was pretty fun but now I go to grocery store
to work all night. So, see you guys later. Bye,
bye. Okay, here it comes. There we go, Judge. Well it's been tough. I've had
to take a semester off from
school just to take care of him. His
doctor says that his cholesterol is higher than any patient he's
ever had. Which is concerning. Lindsay put a restraining order
on me. So, there's that. I'm not a criminal. Well at first we were devastated -I fired everyone, I even tried
to fire Steve. -She did, for
realz. But then a couple months after
the championship we received
the most unbelievable news. We have our little own scallop
in the oven. The batter stuck! We're going to name him
Cornelius after or favorite
manager and father. -Godfather.
-He's going to be the best
godfather ever. Look at this guy, you kinding
me? Come here. The Caped Cod is going to have
a little baby brother, but
don't worry we're going to be
back on top. And I think that we're ready
for another shot at the
championship. We're going to do this and this
little guy's going to be on
board the whole time. And I bet it'll look just like
you, Steve. Bald, you know, no
hair. That's how babies look, Corey.
This guy. This guy! Thanks to an angel investor,
who wishes to remain nameless,
not faceless. Our investor got me thinking
about the bigger picture. Which
is why just celebrities? SO now when you have a loved
one, like if you had a kid or a
wife just send a picture and a brief
description and let the
berieved be bear-reived.
-We're selling...
-Ah, take the ball. We're selling a whole ton of
bears, which is great. I've been drawing more pictures
than ever, and Seth has been
able to make a ton of them. That's right, Wyatt. We're
doing amazing. We keep selling
bears at this rate I'm going to be able to buy a
second home, or pay off
Lindsay's college debt I don't know, something crazy,
who knows. -Stop, Wyatt. Stop it.
-I'm sorry. Don't go there. We're just
playing, we're just coming up
with ideas man. After we saw how good Jake was
in the kitchen we knew we had
to have him here. Yup, he's just like a young
Buzz, only with fruity singing.
Nobodies perfect. It's really great to be part of
a reputable restaurant again,
and I really feel like I'm starting to get the Martin
name back out there in the
community and restore it to
glory. -I'm as happy as ever.
-Hold that basket straight
Lindsay! -Goddammit hold that basket
straight! -I'm holding it as
straight as I can! -Don't talk
back. Since the championship, my dad
has been much more hands on. -The Buzz is back.
-Yeah, I can't believe I ever
quit yelling at you guys. -You know it's amazing how much
better people do when you give
them. -You're gonna give us the
business? Well, it's a bit much
sometimes, but it's definitely
better than before. Lindsay, quit being such a
wuss. You're gonna win that
scallop this year! Hit it son!
-The Golden Scallop will be
hooked by the happiest of cooks,
that's us, at the Happy Hooker. with our griddles and wits,
we're gonna turn some tricks.
Buzz in! to the Happy Hooker. We'll win
at the Happy Hooker. -I mean I think it's better.
-We'll win! at the Happy Hooker. We'll win
at the Happy Hooker. We'll win at the Happy Hooker. There has been speculation
whether I will be ready for the championship this summer. So, to those people who doubt that I will be at the judges
table, at the competition this
year. I can only offer this. Hahahaha Oh boy!! Does it bother me that my wife,
so he won't die, one of our
employees? Our manager? Um, no. If he were choking to death,
would it bother me that she was trying to get the food out
of his mouth with her tongue? Because that
happened once. He's still here. Two sounds, Seth. The sound of
my fists hitting your face and
the sound of, my, your gonna... I'm noisy when I fight.
-Mitch, let me save you the
trouble, okay? That's what I thought. High Tide, by Bootstraps
MacMohon. Baskets are submerged Like daddy was at his last I'll take two orders. -Bootstraps I'm just saying, Obitu-bears is
a simple way to clue in. Why
were they celebrities? Why do we care about them? Why
do we remember, even after
they're dead? We all had something like a
teddy bear when we were kids.
But when you get to combine the
teddy bear with a dead celebrity, someone
who's done something, in a, you
know... I lost my train of thought
there. It happens. Happened to this guy too, I'm