The Good Catholic (2017) Movie Script
1
Hail Mary, full of grace.
The lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of god,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our
death, amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace,
the lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
blessed is the fruit of thy
womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of god,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour
of our death.
Amen.
Hello?
Hey.
There's a switch right behind
your head
if you want...
Switch?
The switch for the light.
It's right behind your head
if you want to...
Oh. I'm good.
Okay.
Whenever you're ready.
Okay.
Aren't you supposed to, like,
ask me for a sin list
and call me a child
or a lamb or some shit?
Thing. Something. Sorry.
It's your first time?
How did you guess?
There aren't any real rules
to this.
I'm just here to help.
With what, exactly?
Your relationship with god.
Oh...
Sorry.
Again.
Don't apologize.
This is for you.
Okay.
Well, thing is...
I'm dying.
I'm sorry.
You're probably thinking,
this chick's trying to clear the
desk at the last minute or whatever,
you know, hit the redo button
on the way out, but...
I'm not here to judge you.
And that's great,
and everything,
but I'm really not here
to save my own ass.
I'm here for a practical reason
as opposed to spiritual.
What would that be?
Funeral arrangements.
This isn't usually how that...
I'm sure you've got a guy
I'm supposed to call...
Or maybe a website.
I just... I don't know
how much time I have left,
and I really don't want
to spend it planning an event
I'm not even going to
be able to attend.
I want a nice casket.
Nothing to over the top,
but not boring either.
The kind of casket
that makes people think,
"wow, it's a shame
she died so young."
But I don't want it
to elicit tears.
Just enough...
You know...
Whatever you call it...
So they'll miss me
in that, um...
That fond memory kind of way.
I really am sorry.
Thank you.
I may have needed this.
Definitely needed something.
This is what I do.
Yeah, well, this seems
to be what I do, too.
As far as pallbearers go,
are those included
or should I make a list of
ex-boyfriends
with decent upper-body strength?
Um, I...
I think that you should
probably... screw it.
I'll do cremation.
Thanks again for listening.
You sound nice.
I keep hearing
some sort of reverb.
Reverb's not the problem.
It's like a flange or...
I'm-I'm hearing something.
There's no flange.
Do you even know
what a flange is?
Maybe the problem is
that our equipment
happens to amplify
your vocal imperfections.
Full disclosure. I haven't had an
opportunity to read the manual
but I don't think
this piece of equipment comes
with a setting
for drowning out jealousy
because I think you're jealous,
is what I'm trying to say.
Of... of my singing.
Was I flat again?
Hmm.
Death is everywhere.
We can try to run from it,
deny it, hide away
in the most articulate,
philosophical explanations
that man has been coming up
with since, well...
Man.
The Bible certainly has
a lot to say about it.
Trust me, I know. I've skimmed
the book more than a few times.
The truth is...
Is that the more that
I think about death,
the less I seem to really
understand it.
And guess what.
That's okay.
Because knowing
that our time here is limited,
that's what makes
it matter so much.
Good, Daniel.
Most inspiring one yet.
You don't think it was
a little dark?
Well, Matthew made it dark.
You're just commenting on
the writing.
You got a gift.
It reminds me
of a younger version of myself.
It doesn't mean they'll laugh
at the Bible skimming bit.
Well, I just thought that...
You thought that it was funny
enough for a laugh pause.
I mean, maybe a slight smile,
a courtesy chuckle,
but a laugh pause?
What if I work on the timing...
I've only been
with this parish for 30 years,
and you,
just-just over one.
I'm sure going with your gut
is the right call.
Oh, come on, come on.
What, father?
Why...
Even the Franciscans have...
Have some rules about... this.
Let me check, father.
And cometh game day,
'tis okay to go forth
in the colors of
thine chosen team
unless thine chosen team
is the Purdue boilermakers
or the Kentucky wildcats.
God is good.
Tip off's in five minutes.
I'm making my nachos.
You never told me how the
Friday-night confession went.
Oh, it was... fine.
There was uh...
It was nothing.
It was fine.
Daniel?
Oh, the game's about to start.
I should probably...
He would have been proud
of who you've become.
Your dad.
Have a good night, father.
Hmm.
Skimmed the book.
Rivers crosses over...
Are you serious?
Did you see that?
Come on!
Did you see that?
Shoot the... three pointer.
For the love of god.
Basket. Dunk.
Father, you're from here, yes?
Yeah.
How do you not love basketball?
I think it's definitely a b...
A good way of...
Okay, okay, okay,
okay, tell me this.
W-what's-what's your thing?
My thing?
You know, your thing,
like I... I played
third string power forward
on my junior high
basketball team.
I went on to never actually make
another squad after that,
so that now I live through them.
Delusional hoop dreams
and saturated fat...
That's my thing.
What's yours?
Uh, I... yeah, I guess,
I mean... god.
God what?
God's my thing.
What?
No.
Why is that... what no?
Look, you gotta... you gotta
find something of your own,
something selfish
and stupid and...
Human.
Otherwise you just might wind up
like Victor.
What's wrong with that?
He wears his collar to target.
I mean, he literally
puts on his collar
to buy honey nut cheerios
and toilet paper.
Now, that's weird.
That's weird.
Don't... don't be weird.
And don't bring that shit
in the Lane!
Oh, do not bring that shit
in the Lane!
Do not bring that shit
in the Lane.
Yeah! That's what I am
talking about. Okay.
Mm.
Welcome to Hoosier basketball.
All the best, father.
Am I late?
I'm sorry, are you lost or...
This is Saint Martin's, right?
Mark's.
I'm Jane.
No, it's Saint marks.
The church.
I'm still Jane.
The person.
Daniel. Father Daniel.
Nice to meet you, father Daniel.
Nice to meet you...
Jane.
We're very far apart.
Permission to approach
the priest?
Uh, well, you don't really need
to ask permission, but...
It's... okay.
So what's the verdict, father?
Verdict?
Is it too late?
For...
Confession.
Oh.
You guys are open late
on Fridays, now, right?
You were the... uh,
one from last week.
No.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Yeah.
I recognize your voice.
Distinctive, right?
I'm a singer. I sing.
No big deal.
I'm good, though.
But let's not make
a whole thing out of it...
Confession was supposed to end
at 2:00 and...
I can go.
No, it's just we're very...
Very big on rules around here.
It's cool. Really.
And so I think... I'll just
order some absolution
with my taco bell.
I meant... wait, I... I...
I can...
I mean, we can...
Thanks, father.
Daniel.
Can I call you Daniel?
Uh...
We'll figure it out in there.
So... maybe we should
start talking...
I can't do cremation, Daniel.
I just can't.
I thought about it,
and it's like...
What the hell was I thinking?
Maybe we should start with who
your... who's gonna dress me?
What?
Now that we're back
to the standard funeral,
I've got to think about who,
you know...
No way I'm letting
a creepy funeral-y guy
put me in some kind of
sad death smock.
And if my mom got involved...
My god.
She drives one of those
Mary Kay cars,
you know, those pink atrocities they only
give their most celebrated salespeople?
She'd have me wearing
a floral pants suit,
and she'd splash so much paint
on my face
that I'd look like
a transvestite,
prostitute version
of blanche Dubois...
Why are you here?
What?
I'm sorry, but last week,
tonight, why?
What do you mean? Is this really
about funeral arrangements?
You don't believe I'm dying?
Wha... that's not what I...
I mean...
Are you?
This was a stupid idea.
Jane...
I should go.
You came here for a reason.
Here.
Why?
You were open.
And no, I'm not lost,
in case you're wondering.
I'm just... I'm done with it.
I'm done.
Everything around me...
I see it.
And it's all the same.
Nothing.
And it's not that I don't give
a shit, or that I'm giving up.
It's just...
It's disappointing.
No...
Heartbreaking.
And there aren't enough
cat videos
or fucking Ted talks on YouTube
to make up for that.
So when...
Faced with all the possible
things left to contemplate...
Death feels like one of the
last remaining ideas we have
to... to remind us of...
Of...
Life?
That light you have outside...
What? The one over the
front door of the church.
It was on when I happened
to walk by last week.
That's why I'm here.
What about a photo?
What?
For the funeral.
Sort of a template
for what it is you kind of
want to look like.
Now, that's not a bad idea.
Yeah.
You don't think that's
too stagey?
Well, the catholic church
has never shied away
from a little pageantry.
Yeah...
I've seen the crucifix.
That's not really what I
was referring... too soon?
That was kind of too soon.
You gotta wait till
at least 3,000 years.
But, I mean, come on.
They put makeup on Jesus.
No, they don't.
Yeah, they do.
When do they put makeup on
Jesus?
Have you looked at any of
the crucifixes
where he's got kind,
like, blush on
and some eyeliner?
- It's hot in the sun.
- Um, no.
They're making him look pretty.
He looks like a woman
in some of those.
Which is not all that weird
because, you know,
maybe... who knows?
"Hey-Soos" would be glad
that you figured it out.
That's how you say
his name in Spanish...
"He... he answereth and saith
unto them,
"'let him that hath two coats
impart to him that hath none.
And let him
that hath meat...'"
baby, do the same.
Luke 3:11.
How do you like me now?
Father. Father.
No run today?
I guess I slept in.
- Is everything okay?
- Y-yeah, yeah.
No, yeah. Just tired.
Victor...
Surely you have a verse in there
about the evils of hitting
the snooze button.
Mm-hm. Are the late Fridays
a bit too much?
No, not at all.
I'll talk to the bishop.
No, I-i... you were right.
It's been... it's been really...
It's good. It's very good.
For me.
Daniel...
You know, we get to reach out
to different, uh...
So yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
My problem is that he'll tell
his mother
every little detail about
our life
but with me, it's just
I think that he has a problem
with communication.
And that is what he really needs
to work on.
And he knows that already
because I tell him all the time,
but he just goes about his day
like he doesn't even hear me,
which, you can imagine,
doesn't feel good
when I'm trying to express
my feelings,
which I believe is at the core of
the problem with the marriage,
not to say that we don't have
a good marriage, because we do.
It's just I thought that if we
talked to someone within the church,
it might better open up the lines
of communication between...
Father!
Yes.
Yes what?
Yes, what he said. Yes.
Yes, I apologized.
I listened to her
for another hour...
Without interruption...
And of course I assured her
that it would
never happen again.
This is not like you.
I know.
We've discussed the
importance of detail.
It's the reason why
I do even this,
instead of letting
some sacristan housewife...
God bless them...
Improperly dress my alter.
I'm sorry, father.
Do you feel his presence,
Daniel?
Yes, of course. Always.
It's okay to say no.
Yeah, I know.
Wait a minute.
How is it okay?
This isn't magic.
We are not special.
Nor do we have
some privileged access to god.
We are men who chose to serve.
Whether or not we see
or hear or feel him
at any given time
is not the point.
Our job is
to be ever present for him.
The day to day,
the minute to minute.
This moment.
Now.
The details?
Exactly.
Do you?
Do I what?
See god?
Yes.
Sometimes.
- A-2.
- Miss.
Really?
I don't cheat at battleship,
and if I was going to start,
it wouldn't be in this building.
Oh, and, um...
C-6, by the way.
You sunk my battleship.
Oh, three losses in a row.
Ouch.
I wasn't really counting.
Not to be, you know, but I'm...
I'm totally dominating
this confession.
What?
You haven't really...
I mean,
I don't feel like
I'm really doing my job here.
I know I'm not, actually.
Do you want me
to confess something?
No.
I mean, not unless you want to.
I don't want you to feel
like it's required.
There is something.
What?
You can say anything.
I know, but...
I'm just afraid that
if I tell you,
I don't know,
things might change.
What things?
Just... things...
Between us.
Jane...
Promise you won't hate me?
I promise.
Thing is...
I've been trying to find a way
to say this all night.
I just... oh, I don't know.
I...
I...
I totally cheated.
What?
The first game
was actually close,
and I just... I lied a bit.
Didn't even place my ships
in the next two.
You hate me?
Why would I hate you?
Just seems like
I'm always
sitting on my... you know...
Sinner half and...
You have to listen to all
of my...
What about you?
Me?
You ever get a chance to sit on
this side?
You know, get stuff off
your chest?
Priests go to confession, too.
But you only confess
to other priests, right?
That's sort of how it works.
Well, what if you wanted
to confess to someone else?
I don't know what you mean.
To me, for example.
I... don't think that's
a very good idea.
It doesn't have to be juicy
or anything.
Just something real.
To a normal, non-priesty person.
Might be good for you.
I don't think that...
Awesome. Switch me.
Jane? Jane? Jane.
What is this? It's a gift.
Me to you.
I don't understand.
You go in there, you know,
on the sinner side,
and just for a few minutes
you get to be a normal person,
not somebody
who's gotta do everything right.
Not somebody who's supposed to have any
sort of profound existential insights,
and certainly not someone who's gotta
listen to me ramble on about my...
Dying stuff.
Just be you...
Daniel.
With all your Daniel junk.
Come on.
Let's go.
Hmm.
Was kind of hoping that you guys
would have the upgraded side.
Maybe a tempur-pedic chair...
Flat-screen.
Would it kill you to get
some reading material in here?
This was a mistake.
No, it isn't.
Relax.
Relax.
You don't look relaxed.
Relax. Breathe.
Good job.
So?
So?
You're gonna make me explain
this process to you? No,
I just... I don't...
Now, Daniel.
Hmm.
My child.
Mm-hmm.
My lamb.
My lambchop child.
Unburden yourself.
Get absolved.
Speak.
Whatever you want to say.
I don't see.
You don't see?
No.
You don't see what?
God.
God... what?
I don't see god.
I don't think I ever have.
My, uh...
My dad died...
Last year, and, uh...
He always liked the idea
of having a priest as a son.
I mean, I liked the idea, too.
Don't get me wrong.
It wasn't like he forced me
into it or anything.
It was just...
Just made sense.
You know?
Some kids want to grow up and...
Pitch game seven
at Yankee stadium...
Give an Oscar speech...
Fight fires or terrorists or...
Whatever.
I wanted to wear the fancy robes
on Sundays...
Give homilies
to captive audiences every week.
Help people.
He never missed a single mass.
Even when he got sick.
He used to tell people that...
He wasn't afraid of death
because...
My Danny's got it in with
the big guy.
Truth is
he was never worried though.
He saw him every day.
But you don't.
No.
So why do you do this?
Because if god ever does
show up, I...
I don't want to miss it.
I was sort of hoping for impure
thoughts about the organ lady.
Um...
But...
This'll do.
So what now?
Uh, well... I guess
you could give me a penance.
Really?
Yeah.
Nice.
Um...
Five hail Marys,
three our fathers...
Two...
20 pushups.
And you have to come
to my show next weekend.
Show?
I'm huge in this town.
I'm surprised you're not already
familiar with my music,
but I guess
this'll give you a chance
to get hip to what the kids
are into these days.
Um, I don't...
Oh, you're totally coming.
I'll save you a seat up front.
I can comp you, but you gotta
buy some coffee or something,
or the owner's gonna get pissy. Okay?
I really don't think this...
Great. I'll give you the details
at our next confession slash date.
Jane. Jane.
Jane!
Yes, you can buy merch from me
directly after the show.
Jane, I...
Autographs are fine,
but, please, no photos.
Miss your run again?
Want a muffin?
They're minis, so...
You can have, like,
30 of them, and they're
still not that bad for you.
Why do you do this?
I'm addicted to refined sugar.
It just tastes so darn good
on everything,
and if that's a sin, I just figure
I'll work it out on the other side,
but Adam had his apple, and I...
Truth be told,
I'm just looking for one
guilt-free sleeve of oreos,
and I don't think that's
too much to ask.
That's not what I meant.
I know.
So what...
What's going on with you?
I don't know.
But you're hoping
I can offer you
some sort of divine nugget
of wisdom
that'll make all the pieces
add up together for you?
What's the story?
Having a crisis of faith or...
Something else?
I have faith.
Yippee! Good for you,
father Jamieson.
I just...
I mean, I'm...
I'm just trying to
figure it out,
and you...
Forget it.
Did you do the last rights?
What?
When your dad died.
Were you the one
who gave him his last rights?
Yes.
And how did that feel?
He told me it was worth it...
Dying...
In order for me to be
the one to anoint him.
What about you, though?
How did you feel?
Gracious?
Did you feel...
Blessed?
Just sad.
Go ahead and have a seat,
will ya?
Go ahead and take the whole box.
Yeah, they're gluten free.
Organic.
Mostly locally sourced.
Not quite farm to table, but...
pretty good.
So I've got
the second Sunday mass,
a baptism on Saturday afternoon,
and the Monday-morning
confession.
Wednesday choir practice
and the Saturday-evening mass.
Oh, and this is pretty fun:
The kids from Sunday school
have asked me to...
To come in and teach a lesson.
You?
Yeah.
It's strange.
It turns out that
they find some people
a little more relatable
than others.
Well, they're only
eight years old, so...
And I will be spending quite
a bit of time
over at Ronnie's.
Why not the hospital?
No, that stubborn
son of a bitch,
he just refuses to...
Let go.
They have moved him home.
He is strictly hospice now.
He's really still alive?
Well, I'll tell you what,
father.
I will let him know that his
selfish need to cling to life
is disrupting his schedule.
How's that sound?
Hmm. How's your week looking?
It's pretty much
the same as the last,
except for a few adjustments.
Uh, n-not so fast.
You'll be happy to know that
I talked to the bishop,
and he agreed to drop
the Friday night confessions.
I... it... I just think
that maybe we should...
Well, the church
is going back to normal hours.
Building will close at night.
End of story.
Okay?
Okay.
No, mom, they don't
call mourning "morning"
because it's supposed to happen
every day.
Who told you that?
I know.
I know.
But I don't let it take over.
He wouldn't have wanted us to...
Everything happens for a reason.
I love you too, mom.
God bless.
Problem was
I couldn't sing Harmony,
and the other problem was
I couldn't sing melody.
So...
This is me.
Oh... nice.
Place.
Weird, right?
Hmm?
I actually live somewhere.
Now I'm real, too.
Thanks for walking me home.
I always wanted a priest
as a bodyguard.
You don't really strike me
as the type of person
that needs protection.
We all need it, Daniel.
The world kinda sucks.
You don't believe that.
No, you don't,
which is why I like you,
but you're also, you know...
You.
Again, confirming my world view.
What's that supposed to mean?
Oh, nothing.
Nothing here.
Just a lovely friendship.
What's wrong with that?
Nothing.
You're a priest.
I'm dying.
I get it,
but in different circumstances,
we're totally dating right now.
No. No, I...
No.
Wow, father,
you really know
how to make a girl feel special.
No, I mean...
This isn't...
I-I... we're...
I... I wouldn't say that...
That... I mean, we're not.
I-I'm not. You know?
No, I don't,
but I'd be happy
to give feedback
if you feel compelled
to articulate
an entire thought.
I am committed to god.
That means that any...
Emotional connection,
that is...
Other than friendship,
which... which is
what I think that we have...
Friendship.
You know? A really strong...
But anything more than that
is obviously not allowed.
I mean,
it goes against everything...
Uh... everything...
That I am, so...
How do you expect to get laid if you
keep saying that kind of stuff?
That was a joke. Relax.
Well, you're probably going
to hell because of it,
so I really hope
it was worth it.
I really can't tell jokes,
can I?
Come on!
No, man, sorry.
But you did really sell
the whole humorless,
stodgy priest thing there.
Yeah.
We work on it in seminary,
for years.
Yeah,
that and thurible swinging.
Thurible swinging?
Yeah.
Sounds dirty.
Uh, well...
Sorry. It's late.
You're cute.
I'm human.
Can I... ask you a question?
Maybe.
The whole dying thing.
No.
What?
Let's not.
Come on.
You've got off-limits,
you know, stuff. So do I.
Well, we both know that
you're not... Daniel.
I mean,
you don't even look sick.
Like at all.
It's late.
I should go inside.
Jane.
Thanks for walking me home.
I didn't mean to...
It's just...
I don't know why we have to keep
up with the, you know, charade.
Charade?
No, that's not what I...
I-I just mean...
You don't...
I mean, you look...
How?
What?
How do I look?
Well, no, I just...
I don't look frail...
Helpless?
I seem a bit too healthy?
Well, I guess that's a testament
to my formidable spirit.
Good night, friend.
There's a decent case
for blasphemy here...
You see? Keep missing
your morning jogs,
breaking your routine,
that's your future.
What?
Nothing.
Daniel, say it.
He's happy.
What?
I know that you take some issue with
father Ollie's eccentricities, but...
He treats this like a joke.
But look at him.
That's what I'm talking about.
Good, good, good, good, good.
Lost your snare
at the bridge, keyshawn...
He's wearing basketball shoes.
Under his habit.
You know what I mean.
I'm not so sure... actually.
Never mind.
Doug?
Were you lip syncing?
No.
Doug.
No.
Doug.
And I broke Doug.
That's on me.
That's my bad.
Daniel... I should probably
go get some work done.
Doug, come.
Sit.
Come here. Come here.
Come here.
C'mere, c'mere, c'mere...
Doug, sing these...
Bring your air down lower.
And you're back.
I'm so proud of you.
That's the way to...
What's going on here?
What is it?
I met someone.
You met someone?
Yes.
What does that mean?
A person.
I met a person.
There was a person,
and I met her.
Her?
Yes.
Hmm.
I see.
No big deal.
And that's what happens
when you apply
a little bit of enthusiasm...
Doug!
Now you're embarrassing yourself
in a place of worship.
Take a knee.
You will not be in this
rehearsal until I tell you.
So it wasn't
just someone you met.
You... you met her.
A... female someone.
I didn't do anything, father.
No one says you did.
Because I didn't.
Okay.
So it doesn't matter if it was
a female someone or a her
if I didn't do anything, which I
didn't, so it doesn't... matter.
Great.
Terrific.
Glory be.
I didn't do anything, father.
Well, that's between you
and god, now, isn't it?
Let's go one more time.
Let's feel it.
Practice makes perfect.
B-4.
Bingo Thursdays with
Edith and Ruth.
And Jane.
G-51.
Oh! G-51.
When you're blessed,
you're blessed. Am I right?
Yeah?
No?
Okay.
I-17.
Nope. No I-17.
I-16.
I-18 would've done it.
But no.
This is fun. Let me know
when you really wanna talk.
Jane.
E-7.
I got you something.
What is it?
Open it.
I wasn't expecting you'd...
You've been holding out on me.
I don't know what to say.
I'm pleasantly... surprised.
Is this a joke?
What do you mean?
I don't understand.
E-46.
Don't do this Daniel.
Please.
You of all people. I'm not letting you
turn out to be a disappointment too.
O-68.
Please, just... take that.
For your sake.
For my sake?
See you around.
Father.
I-43.
Where are we?
Why are we here?
No, no no, don't.
Don't try to answer.
Just maybe give that some
thought for a second or two.
Why are we here?
I mean, I can tell you
for a fact
I'm only here
for the free communion wafers.
'Course that's just me.
But the rest of you.
Why?
And I, I don't mean
philosophically.
I mean right now.
In this exact moment.
What brought you into
this building?
Guilt?
Fear? Obligation?
Perhaps you aren't
even into the big radio hits.
And you're more of a deep track,
b-side kind of guy.
So, are you looking for
a sense of community?
A moment of reflection?
An escape?
You can do a lot worse.
This really is
a beautiful building.
Oh my goodness.
But...
But...
If what brought you here
doesn't at least have something
to do with compassion.
Well then, that's all there
really is.
Huh?
A building.
Compassion.
Oh, what a concept.
I mean, we all like to think
that we are...
Compassionate.
Help you feel better.
Thoughts and prayers.
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
But it's a funny thing though.
Because when you find out where the word
compassion comes from, it's real...
Origin.
It turns out
the word actually means
to suffer with.
Not to pity.
Not to feel sorry for,
not to send hugs
to somebody's Facebook wall.
But to suffer with.
And are you capable
of suffering with
someone else?
To...
Take on their pain.
And carry it around with you
for a while.
Someone...
Hurting.
Someone...
Completely lost.
Someone...
With less than you.
Less money.
Less stuff. Yeah, whatever.
But what about less freedom?
Less choice.
Less...
Privilege.
Less basic human rights.
Are you truly able to
suffer with...
Others?
But,
will you?
How much I owe you?
Good run? Good, good, yeah.
Very good.
Very focused.
Good.
It was great, actually.
It was,
it was great.
Great.
I would definitely classify that
run as great.
If I were to classify it.
Which apparently I am. So...
Yep. I would file it
under g for great.
How's scripture?
Wonderful.
It is.
Always wonderful. Scripture.
I'm just going to go ahead and
opt out of this conversation.
How's it going?
'Kay, I'm on my way.
Everything okay?
It's Ronnie.
He's on his way out.
Well, perhaps you should allow
the family to...
He asked for me.
Oh. You've spent so much time...
He asked for me, Victor.
Of course.
If one of you could cover
my 10:00am confession,
that'd be Ter...
- Can I go with you?
- No.
- What if, uh...
- We'll finish in the car.
So, dying sucks.
You okay?
Yeah. I didn't
really know him, so...
Well, that's not what I asked.
I'm fine.
It's awfully easy
to forget, but,
we're pretty damn lucky to
be able to do what we do.
Priests?
Humans.
What'd you say?
Wanna crush a little Arby's
on the way home?
Thank you.
You know, it's fans like you
that really make it all
worth-while.
You see, that was actually funny
because you guys
aren't being supportive
at all.
Is why it's funny.
What I just said.
Okay.
I cheered.
Probably couldn't hear me because
I was standing outside the door.
What do you want?
I'm sorry.
For what?
For the other day and the Bible.
Just say being a dick.
What?
I'm sorry for being a dick.
That should cover everything.
I'm sorry for... yes, Daniel,
you can take me home.
But please no funny business.
I'm saving myself for
the right clergyman.
You want something to drink?
Uh, yeah.
I have...
Water. And... water.
And...
Well, water.
Water would be great.
Great.
Make yourself at home.
It's amazing. Isn't it?
Jane.
No.
What?
You said Jane like, Jane.
What does that mean?
That tone.
I had a tone?
Um, yeah. That, you know...
Eat your vegetables tone.
Jane.
Don't do it.
I, can we just...
Don't.
I just wanna ask...
We had a good thing.
Why would you wanna mess that...
Do you even know
what it is that I'm gonna ask?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
So?
So, what?
Eh-tell me.
Why would I say something out loud that
I'm practically begging you not to ask?
Because you realize that
I'm asking you a real question.
You miss, uh, I-sing.
And-I'm-emotionally-fearless.
And-i-do-really-
weird-things-to-my-hair.
To-try-and-make-it-less-attractive-but-it-always-
makes-it-more-attractive.
You're afraid to let somebody
know who you are.
You think this makes me
more attractive? Okay.
You were going to ask me about
the whole death thing. Again.
I told you I knew.
Do you get that a lot?
Yeah.
Right before
I never see someone again.
I'm not going anywhere.
Yeah well...
You're not the one
I'm worried about.
I'm not crazy.
In case you were wondering.
I mean, yeah. But no.
Not really.
It started off as a joke.
But just, saying it,
I'm dying.
Finite.
It gave things
a sense of urgency.
And sometimes it doesn't work.
Well, most of the time.
But there are days,
if I really let myself
buy into it,
where I can actually see
the beauty of how little time
we actually have.
And lately,
that only seems to be happening
when I'm with you.
What the hell are we?
I don't know.
I think that's okay.
Me too.
But we should make some rules.
Rules?
Yeah.
If we're gonna proceed with this
whole, star-crossed, platonic,
g-rated, tragicomedy
of ours,
we should be very clear on what
we can and can't do.
That's actually not a bad idea.
Which makes sense,
'cause I only have good ones.
So... what?
Rule number one:
Nothing sexual and...
Yep. Agreed.
I wasn't finished.
I am sorry.
Nothing sexual in nature.
Although, I mean.
I can't just turn off
my natural appeal.
I mean...
There's a lot going on here.
And you're just gonna have to
learn to view it as a work of art
in a museum that you can view and
appreciate but you know never...
And you, quite frankly...
I'm sorry.
Are gonna have to stop dressing
so suggestively.
I know.
Rule number two...
Uh-uh my turn.
But I...
I get to make some rules.
Okay, but mine was gonna
be good.
Rule number two:
We let ourselves be friends.
Without shame.
Could be a bit tight.
But for having three baptisms
in a week,
I think we found
a really nice job.
What about Friday?
Friday?
Yeah. Night.
If I have this correct I think we
should all be free at that time.
For what?
Dinner.
No offense, but we already eat
together like 15 times a week.
I also have a reservation for
the golden corral,
which I'm not gonna miss.
They take reservations?
No. No Daniel, they don't.
What's going on Friday?
I just thought that
we could all have dinner.
Together. At the rectory.
Oh yeah, no problem.
With a friend of mine.
A friend?
If this friend is
as fun as you two,
well, count me in.
She is fun. Great.
Fun and great.
She?
She. Yes.
She's a she. Jane is her name.
It's a female name.
Which she has because she's
a girl. Woman.
Well, to be clear,
I'm definitely available
for this dinner now.
I like the bread.
- Thanks.
- Yes, Daniel.
Bread is quite good.
It's brioche.
I didn't realize you baked.
Oh no. I bought it.
Well, it's really good.
Still.
For store bought
it's really good.
Pasta's good too.
You bought the pasta as well?
Nope. Nope. I made that. Myself.
- Old family recipe.
- Oh.
Ollie.
You being a connoisseur
of all things, remotely edible,
I'd love to have
your expert opinion on the meal.
It's hilarious.
I'm sorry?
Very good. It's delicious.
Excellent effort.
I'm proud of you.
Thank you. I always felt like
I should cook more, you know?
I agree. And the best part
of cooking more...
Is more dinner guests.
Umm... thanks.
No. Thank you.
And thank you for introducing us
to Jenny.
Jane.
What did I say?
Not Jane.
Strawberry shortcake
for dessert.
So, you know, gotta save room.
And ice cream.
Sponge or pound?
What?
Sponge cake or pound cake
as the base?
You know, it's called
strawberry shortcake,
but I never really considered
strawberry shortcake
unless it has a pound cake
or a sponge cake as the base.
Not that biscuit thing
that my grandmother used to always
try to pass off as dessert.
Well, traditionally speaking,
shortcake is really supposed to
be more savory, less sweet.
A fun fact.
Especially if you decide
you want to do your own baking.
I definitely prefer sponge cake.
Oh. That's your god given right.
And there is um...
Certainly others who feel
that it's less,
uh, substantive. Empty.
Fleeting.
But it tastes better.
Amen sister.
And sure it might be wrapped
in cheap cellophane,
shelf stable for like,
a hundred years.
Sadly placed somewhere between
little Debbie's
and generic Twinkies rip-offs on
the shelf
but at the end of the day,
if it tastes better
than your other options,
what can you do?
Have better taste.
Oh man. I forgot.
There is no cake.
There's no sponge cake.
There's no pound cake.
There's no shortcake.
There's no cake.
Got caught up in the
strawberries I guess.
But yeah. Anyway.
There is ice cream.
Which everyone seems to enjoy so...
- Vanilla or chocolate?
Can we just talk about dinner?
The flavor...
Just for right now?
Please. Thank you.
That'd be great.
So, Jane.
Did I say it right this time?
Yes.
Hmm. What do you do, Jane?
Like, for a living?
Sure.
I'm a musician.
Mostly at a coffee shop.
Where I also sometimes work.
Because I'm a musician.
Mostly at a coffee shop.
Well would you say that,
music is your passion?
Um, well I mean, yeah.
It's a passion.
Yeah. She's really good.
Pretty great.
We should go
check her out sometime.
What does that mean?
What does what mean?
A passion.
I mean,
a person can have
more than one passion.
Right?
You tell me.
I think I just did.
Daniel.
Uh, yeah. I think um...
I think passion, you know,
has several different, uh...
Like father Ollie.
He likes, uh, carbohydrates.
Uh, basketball.
Iu basketball, specifically.
Thank you very much. You can forget
about the rest of division I.
- See?
- And I really enjoy running, and... so, the...
Passion of Christ
or a...
Passion
of Christ.
Are interchangeable.
I think it's different
than what we're talking about.
Simple question.
No.
Obviously not.
So Daniel.
So your new friend could,
understand where
you're really coming from.
What is your passion?
Do you have many passions?
Spread out.
Scattered.
As Jane seems to.
What would you say you have a...
Overriding passion
in your life...
That you have made a serious...
All-encompassing commitment to.
I mean, you speak of Ollie's
quirks as if, uh...
Have you,
ever, at your worst,
even considered making
god second?
Have you ever considered
not being such an assface?
Yes or no?
Father.
I think this is something we
can more appropriately address
once our guest has...
Yes or no?
No.
Dick.
So Daniel. We're not quivering
over semantics, or are we
trying to compare out hobbies
with our purpose.
What.
Is.
Your.
Passion?
I'm gonna go.
Afraid of the answer?
Not half as much as you are.
It was nice to meet you.
Jane you don't have to...
Let her go.
Was that supposed to, like, have
some sort of deeper meaning?
In our work. Everything has
some sort of deeper meaning.
Sure.
See you around.
God bless, Jessica.
Eat a dick, father.
Is there really no cake?
Really?
What do you want me to say?
Can we please talk about this
anywhere else?
Talk about what?
Please?
Talk about what Daniel?
It's just... she's.
Us.
Us?
I think she means them.
Is there something
you want to say to me?
No.
Bullshit.
Nothing happened.
Bullshit.
Daniel. Nothing.
Enough!
This is not a game.
You're not trying this out to see if maybe
you're able to make a commitment to god.
This is how you breathe.
Eat. Live. Love. Everything.
This is you.
Father Daniel Jameson.
I don't know what's going on
between you two.
- And it sounds like you don't either.
- Nothing.
It was nothing.
Jane.
You're human.
We all are.
This is...
These things happen.
I'm not asking questions.
I'm not...
Whatever happened.
Whatever it was,
all that matters is this:
What do you believe
what do you want Daniel?
I want to be a man of god.
That's all I ever wanted.
And that's enough Daniel.
That's enough.
It'll be okay.
You haven't lost faith,
have you?
No.
I never had it.
Until I met her.
Everything will be okay.
It's just, we have to...
It has to be. It has to be.
Because that's what people say.
We say that because
we think that it will be.
Think.
Know.
Hope.
Because nobody knows, mom.
Nobody knows.
That's why it's called faith.
I don't. I don't know what you
want me to...
It's... it's not magic.
It's not magic.
We're just people. We just...
We try to be
you know, we make choices that,
uh...
We just try to help people.
I miss him too.
I know.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I love you, too.
God is in the details.
I've hear the same about
the devil.
I suppose it depends on what
details you're focusing on.
Sorry.
We all said things
last night that...
No. For everything.
It's been a rough year.
And, uh...
I just thought that I could...
That I could...
You know, I just...
I don't know. I don't know.
Oh, bullshit.
Daniel.
No. I know exactly what
I've been... I've been.
You get... lost.
Just. Everything is about...
You get caught up in yourself,
and uh...
And I just... somewhere along the
way it just all became about me.
And...
I felt...
Empty.
Spent.
And. I just... I tried.
But she...
Made me forget about all that.
You know, she...
Made sense
when nothing really did.
But see that's just
me thinking about me
about what I want, and about...
What makes me feel like I,
what makes me...
Feel.
I... i... I don't mean that...
It's not that...
I made a promise
a commitment to something that
is bigger than myself
and, I can't break that
to just...
Ease my mind. Or my fears.
My... love.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
And I'm back.
God bless.
God bless.
Before you go,
think I could run
part of my homily by you?
You want my feedback?
Okay.
Have you been reading much,
John lately?
Yeah. Well,
I'm a little bit more of
a Ringo man myself. But...
Sorry.
Laugh pause.
That actually was pretty funny.
Trust yourself.
No one has ever seen god.
But, if we love each other,
god lives in us.
John, 4-12.
I probably read that over
100 times in my life.
I thought I knew what it meant
but it turns out
I never really understood
mush about it at all.
Seeing god.
It's not that I don't see him.
I do.
It's just that I've always
assumed that
it could be done only one way.
Through prayer.
Through faith.
Through the perfect ritual
of mass.
If it worked for me.
Why not everyone else?
If we love each other,
god lives in us.
What does that really mean?
Love itself cannot
be defined or...
Understood, or...
Quantified.
Denied.
If god is a mystery,
love probably is as well.
Because, at the end of the day,
after a lifetime
of theological study,
my knowledge of love and god
amounts to little more than
these two truths:
One:
They both exist.
And two:
When it comes to
the matters of god
or the matters of love,
I can no longer tell
the difference.
And for this,
I feel blessed.
Hail Mary, full of grace.
The lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of god,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our
death, amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace,
the lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
blessed is the fruit of thy
womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of god,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour
of our death.
Amen.
Hello?
Hey.
There's a switch right behind
your head
if you want...
Switch?
The switch for the light.
It's right behind your head
if you want to...
Oh. I'm good.
Okay.
Whenever you're ready.
Okay.
Aren't you supposed to, like,
ask me for a sin list
and call me a child
or a lamb or some shit?
Thing. Something. Sorry.
It's your first time?
How did you guess?
There aren't any real rules
to this.
I'm just here to help.
With what, exactly?
Your relationship with god.
Oh...
Sorry.
Again.
Don't apologize.
This is for you.
Okay.
Well, thing is...
I'm dying.
I'm sorry.
You're probably thinking,
this chick's trying to clear the
desk at the last minute or whatever,
you know, hit the redo button
on the way out, but...
I'm not here to judge you.
And that's great,
and everything,
but I'm really not here
to save my own ass.
I'm here for a practical reason
as opposed to spiritual.
What would that be?
Funeral arrangements.
This isn't usually how that...
I'm sure you've got a guy
I'm supposed to call...
Or maybe a website.
I just... I don't know
how much time I have left,
and I really don't want
to spend it planning an event
I'm not even going to
be able to attend.
I want a nice casket.
Nothing to over the top,
but not boring either.
The kind of casket
that makes people think,
"wow, it's a shame
she died so young."
But I don't want it
to elicit tears.
Just enough...
You know...
Whatever you call it...
So they'll miss me
in that, um...
That fond memory kind of way.
I really am sorry.
Thank you.
I may have needed this.
Definitely needed something.
This is what I do.
Yeah, well, this seems
to be what I do, too.
As far as pallbearers go,
are those included
or should I make a list of
ex-boyfriends
with decent upper-body strength?
Um, I...
I think that you should
probably... screw it.
I'll do cremation.
Thanks again for listening.
You sound nice.
I keep hearing
some sort of reverb.
Reverb's not the problem.
It's like a flange or...
I'm-I'm hearing something.
There's no flange.
Do you even know
what a flange is?
Maybe the problem is
that our equipment
happens to amplify
your vocal imperfections.
Full disclosure. I haven't had an
opportunity to read the manual
but I don't think
this piece of equipment comes
with a setting
for drowning out jealousy
because I think you're jealous,
is what I'm trying to say.
Of... of my singing.
Was I flat again?
Hmm.
Death is everywhere.
We can try to run from it,
deny it, hide away
in the most articulate,
philosophical explanations
that man has been coming up
with since, well...
Man.
The Bible certainly has
a lot to say about it.
Trust me, I know. I've skimmed
the book more than a few times.
The truth is...
Is that the more that
I think about death,
the less I seem to really
understand it.
And guess what.
That's okay.
Because knowing
that our time here is limited,
that's what makes
it matter so much.
Good, Daniel.
Most inspiring one yet.
You don't think it was
a little dark?
Well, Matthew made it dark.
You're just commenting on
the writing.
You got a gift.
It reminds me
of a younger version of myself.
It doesn't mean they'll laugh
at the Bible skimming bit.
Well, I just thought that...
You thought that it was funny
enough for a laugh pause.
I mean, maybe a slight smile,
a courtesy chuckle,
but a laugh pause?
What if I work on the timing...
I've only been
with this parish for 30 years,
and you,
just-just over one.
I'm sure going with your gut
is the right call.
Oh, come on, come on.
What, father?
Why...
Even the Franciscans have...
Have some rules about... this.
Let me check, father.
And cometh game day,
'tis okay to go forth
in the colors of
thine chosen team
unless thine chosen team
is the Purdue boilermakers
or the Kentucky wildcats.
God is good.
Tip off's in five minutes.
I'm making my nachos.
You never told me how the
Friday-night confession went.
Oh, it was... fine.
There was uh...
It was nothing.
It was fine.
Daniel?
Oh, the game's about to start.
I should probably...
He would have been proud
of who you've become.
Your dad.
Have a good night, father.
Hmm.
Skimmed the book.
Rivers crosses over...
Are you serious?
Did you see that?
Come on!
Did you see that?
Shoot the... three pointer.
For the love of god.
Basket. Dunk.
Father, you're from here, yes?
Yeah.
How do you not love basketball?
I think it's definitely a b...
A good way of...
Okay, okay, okay,
okay, tell me this.
W-what's-what's your thing?
My thing?
You know, your thing,
like I... I played
third string power forward
on my junior high
basketball team.
I went on to never actually make
another squad after that,
so that now I live through them.
Delusional hoop dreams
and saturated fat...
That's my thing.
What's yours?
Uh, I... yeah, I guess,
I mean... god.
God what?
God's my thing.
What?
No.
Why is that... what no?
Look, you gotta... you gotta
find something of your own,
something selfish
and stupid and...
Human.
Otherwise you just might wind up
like Victor.
What's wrong with that?
He wears his collar to target.
I mean, he literally
puts on his collar
to buy honey nut cheerios
and toilet paper.
Now, that's weird.
That's weird.
Don't... don't be weird.
And don't bring that shit
in the Lane!
Oh, do not bring that shit
in the Lane!
Do not bring that shit
in the Lane.
Yeah! That's what I am
talking about. Okay.
Mm.
Welcome to Hoosier basketball.
All the best, father.
Am I late?
I'm sorry, are you lost or...
This is Saint Martin's, right?
Mark's.
I'm Jane.
No, it's Saint marks.
The church.
I'm still Jane.
The person.
Daniel. Father Daniel.
Nice to meet you, father Daniel.
Nice to meet you...
Jane.
We're very far apart.
Permission to approach
the priest?
Uh, well, you don't really need
to ask permission, but...
It's... okay.
So what's the verdict, father?
Verdict?
Is it too late?
For...
Confession.
Oh.
You guys are open late
on Fridays, now, right?
You were the... uh,
one from last week.
No.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Yeah.
I recognize your voice.
Distinctive, right?
I'm a singer. I sing.
No big deal.
I'm good, though.
But let's not make
a whole thing out of it...
Confession was supposed to end
at 2:00 and...
I can go.
No, it's just we're very...
Very big on rules around here.
It's cool. Really.
And so I think... I'll just
order some absolution
with my taco bell.
I meant... wait, I... I...
I can...
I mean, we can...
Thanks, father.
Daniel.
Can I call you Daniel?
Uh...
We'll figure it out in there.
So... maybe we should
start talking...
I can't do cremation, Daniel.
I just can't.
I thought about it,
and it's like...
What the hell was I thinking?
Maybe we should start with who
your... who's gonna dress me?
What?
Now that we're back
to the standard funeral,
I've got to think about who,
you know...
No way I'm letting
a creepy funeral-y guy
put me in some kind of
sad death smock.
And if my mom got involved...
My god.
She drives one of those
Mary Kay cars,
you know, those pink atrocities they only
give their most celebrated salespeople?
She'd have me wearing
a floral pants suit,
and she'd splash so much paint
on my face
that I'd look like
a transvestite,
prostitute version
of blanche Dubois...
Why are you here?
What?
I'm sorry, but last week,
tonight, why?
What do you mean? Is this really
about funeral arrangements?
You don't believe I'm dying?
Wha... that's not what I...
I mean...
Are you?
This was a stupid idea.
Jane...
I should go.
You came here for a reason.
Here.
Why?
You were open.
And no, I'm not lost,
in case you're wondering.
I'm just... I'm done with it.
I'm done.
Everything around me...
I see it.
And it's all the same.
Nothing.
And it's not that I don't give
a shit, or that I'm giving up.
It's just...
It's disappointing.
No...
Heartbreaking.
And there aren't enough
cat videos
or fucking Ted talks on YouTube
to make up for that.
So when...
Faced with all the possible
things left to contemplate...
Death feels like one of the
last remaining ideas we have
to... to remind us of...
Of...
Life?
That light you have outside...
What? The one over the
front door of the church.
It was on when I happened
to walk by last week.
That's why I'm here.
What about a photo?
What?
For the funeral.
Sort of a template
for what it is you kind of
want to look like.
Now, that's not a bad idea.
Yeah.
You don't think that's
too stagey?
Well, the catholic church
has never shied away
from a little pageantry.
Yeah...
I've seen the crucifix.
That's not really what I
was referring... too soon?
That was kind of too soon.
You gotta wait till
at least 3,000 years.
But, I mean, come on.
They put makeup on Jesus.
No, they don't.
Yeah, they do.
When do they put makeup on
Jesus?
Have you looked at any of
the crucifixes
where he's got kind,
like, blush on
and some eyeliner?
- It's hot in the sun.
- Um, no.
They're making him look pretty.
He looks like a woman
in some of those.
Which is not all that weird
because, you know,
maybe... who knows?
"Hey-Soos" would be glad
that you figured it out.
That's how you say
his name in Spanish...
"He... he answereth and saith
unto them,
"'let him that hath two coats
impart to him that hath none.
And let him
that hath meat...'"
baby, do the same.
Luke 3:11.
How do you like me now?
Father. Father.
No run today?
I guess I slept in.
- Is everything okay?
- Y-yeah, yeah.
No, yeah. Just tired.
Victor...
Surely you have a verse in there
about the evils of hitting
the snooze button.
Mm-hm. Are the late Fridays
a bit too much?
No, not at all.
I'll talk to the bishop.
No, I-i... you were right.
It's been... it's been really...
It's good. It's very good.
For me.
Daniel...
You know, we get to reach out
to different, uh...
So yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
My problem is that he'll tell
his mother
every little detail about
our life
but with me, it's just
I think that he has a problem
with communication.
And that is what he really needs
to work on.
And he knows that already
because I tell him all the time,
but he just goes about his day
like he doesn't even hear me,
which, you can imagine,
doesn't feel good
when I'm trying to express
my feelings,
which I believe is at the core of
the problem with the marriage,
not to say that we don't have
a good marriage, because we do.
It's just I thought that if we
talked to someone within the church,
it might better open up the lines
of communication between...
Father!
Yes.
Yes what?
Yes, what he said. Yes.
Yes, I apologized.
I listened to her
for another hour...
Without interruption...
And of course I assured her
that it would
never happen again.
This is not like you.
I know.
We've discussed the
importance of detail.
It's the reason why
I do even this,
instead of letting
some sacristan housewife...
God bless them...
Improperly dress my alter.
I'm sorry, father.
Do you feel his presence,
Daniel?
Yes, of course. Always.
It's okay to say no.
Yeah, I know.
Wait a minute.
How is it okay?
This isn't magic.
We are not special.
Nor do we have
some privileged access to god.
We are men who chose to serve.
Whether or not we see
or hear or feel him
at any given time
is not the point.
Our job is
to be ever present for him.
The day to day,
the minute to minute.
This moment.
Now.
The details?
Exactly.
Do you?
Do I what?
See god?
Yes.
Sometimes.
- A-2.
- Miss.
Really?
I don't cheat at battleship,
and if I was going to start,
it wouldn't be in this building.
Oh, and, um...
C-6, by the way.
You sunk my battleship.
Oh, three losses in a row.
Ouch.
I wasn't really counting.
Not to be, you know, but I'm...
I'm totally dominating
this confession.
What?
You haven't really...
I mean,
I don't feel like
I'm really doing my job here.
I know I'm not, actually.
Do you want me
to confess something?
No.
I mean, not unless you want to.
I don't want you to feel
like it's required.
There is something.
What?
You can say anything.
I know, but...
I'm just afraid that
if I tell you,
I don't know,
things might change.
What things?
Just... things...
Between us.
Jane...
Promise you won't hate me?
I promise.
Thing is...
I've been trying to find a way
to say this all night.
I just... oh, I don't know.
I...
I...
I totally cheated.
What?
The first game
was actually close,
and I just... I lied a bit.
Didn't even place my ships
in the next two.
You hate me?
Why would I hate you?
Just seems like
I'm always
sitting on my... you know...
Sinner half and...
You have to listen to all
of my...
What about you?
Me?
You ever get a chance to sit on
this side?
You know, get stuff off
your chest?
Priests go to confession, too.
But you only confess
to other priests, right?
That's sort of how it works.
Well, what if you wanted
to confess to someone else?
I don't know what you mean.
To me, for example.
I... don't think that's
a very good idea.
It doesn't have to be juicy
or anything.
Just something real.
To a normal, non-priesty person.
Might be good for you.
I don't think that...
Awesome. Switch me.
Jane? Jane? Jane.
What is this? It's a gift.
Me to you.
I don't understand.
You go in there, you know,
on the sinner side,
and just for a few minutes
you get to be a normal person,
not somebody
who's gotta do everything right.
Not somebody who's supposed to have any
sort of profound existential insights,
and certainly not someone who's gotta
listen to me ramble on about my...
Dying stuff.
Just be you...
Daniel.
With all your Daniel junk.
Come on.
Let's go.
Hmm.
Was kind of hoping that you guys
would have the upgraded side.
Maybe a tempur-pedic chair...
Flat-screen.
Would it kill you to get
some reading material in here?
This was a mistake.
No, it isn't.
Relax.
Relax.
You don't look relaxed.
Relax. Breathe.
Good job.
So?
So?
You're gonna make me explain
this process to you? No,
I just... I don't...
Now, Daniel.
Hmm.
My child.
Mm-hmm.
My lamb.
My lambchop child.
Unburden yourself.
Get absolved.
Speak.
Whatever you want to say.
I don't see.
You don't see?
No.
You don't see what?
God.
God... what?
I don't see god.
I don't think I ever have.
My, uh...
My dad died...
Last year, and, uh...
He always liked the idea
of having a priest as a son.
I mean, I liked the idea, too.
Don't get me wrong.
It wasn't like he forced me
into it or anything.
It was just...
Just made sense.
You know?
Some kids want to grow up and...
Pitch game seven
at Yankee stadium...
Give an Oscar speech...
Fight fires or terrorists or...
Whatever.
I wanted to wear the fancy robes
on Sundays...
Give homilies
to captive audiences every week.
Help people.
He never missed a single mass.
Even when he got sick.
He used to tell people that...
He wasn't afraid of death
because...
My Danny's got it in with
the big guy.
Truth is
he was never worried though.
He saw him every day.
But you don't.
No.
So why do you do this?
Because if god ever does
show up, I...
I don't want to miss it.
I was sort of hoping for impure
thoughts about the organ lady.
Um...
But...
This'll do.
So what now?
Uh, well... I guess
you could give me a penance.
Really?
Yeah.
Nice.
Um...
Five hail Marys,
three our fathers...
Two...
20 pushups.
And you have to come
to my show next weekend.
Show?
I'm huge in this town.
I'm surprised you're not already
familiar with my music,
but I guess
this'll give you a chance
to get hip to what the kids
are into these days.
Um, I don't...
Oh, you're totally coming.
I'll save you a seat up front.
I can comp you, but you gotta
buy some coffee or something,
or the owner's gonna get pissy. Okay?
I really don't think this...
Great. I'll give you the details
at our next confession slash date.
Jane. Jane.
Jane!
Yes, you can buy merch from me
directly after the show.
Jane, I...
Autographs are fine,
but, please, no photos.
Miss your run again?
Want a muffin?
They're minis, so...
You can have, like,
30 of them, and they're
still not that bad for you.
Why do you do this?
I'm addicted to refined sugar.
It just tastes so darn good
on everything,
and if that's a sin, I just figure
I'll work it out on the other side,
but Adam had his apple, and I...
Truth be told,
I'm just looking for one
guilt-free sleeve of oreos,
and I don't think that's
too much to ask.
That's not what I meant.
I know.
So what...
What's going on with you?
I don't know.
But you're hoping
I can offer you
some sort of divine nugget
of wisdom
that'll make all the pieces
add up together for you?
What's the story?
Having a crisis of faith or...
Something else?
I have faith.
Yippee! Good for you,
father Jamieson.
I just...
I mean, I'm...
I'm just trying to
figure it out,
and you...
Forget it.
Did you do the last rights?
What?
When your dad died.
Were you the one
who gave him his last rights?
Yes.
And how did that feel?
He told me it was worth it...
Dying...
In order for me to be
the one to anoint him.
What about you, though?
How did you feel?
Gracious?
Did you feel...
Blessed?
Just sad.
Go ahead and have a seat,
will ya?
Go ahead and take the whole box.
Yeah, they're gluten free.
Organic.
Mostly locally sourced.
Not quite farm to table, but...
pretty good.
So I've got
the second Sunday mass,
a baptism on Saturday afternoon,
and the Monday-morning
confession.
Wednesday choir practice
and the Saturday-evening mass.
Oh, and this is pretty fun:
The kids from Sunday school
have asked me to...
To come in and teach a lesson.
You?
Yeah.
It's strange.
It turns out that
they find some people
a little more relatable
than others.
Well, they're only
eight years old, so...
And I will be spending quite
a bit of time
over at Ronnie's.
Why not the hospital?
No, that stubborn
son of a bitch,
he just refuses to...
Let go.
They have moved him home.
He is strictly hospice now.
He's really still alive?
Well, I'll tell you what,
father.
I will let him know that his
selfish need to cling to life
is disrupting his schedule.
How's that sound?
Hmm. How's your week looking?
It's pretty much
the same as the last,
except for a few adjustments.
Uh, n-not so fast.
You'll be happy to know that
I talked to the bishop,
and he agreed to drop
the Friday night confessions.
I... it... I just think
that maybe we should...
Well, the church
is going back to normal hours.
Building will close at night.
End of story.
Okay?
Okay.
No, mom, they don't
call mourning "morning"
because it's supposed to happen
every day.
Who told you that?
I know.
I know.
But I don't let it take over.
He wouldn't have wanted us to...
Everything happens for a reason.
I love you too, mom.
God bless.
Problem was
I couldn't sing Harmony,
and the other problem was
I couldn't sing melody.
So...
This is me.
Oh... nice.
Place.
Weird, right?
Hmm?
I actually live somewhere.
Now I'm real, too.
Thanks for walking me home.
I always wanted a priest
as a bodyguard.
You don't really strike me
as the type of person
that needs protection.
We all need it, Daniel.
The world kinda sucks.
You don't believe that.
No, you don't,
which is why I like you,
but you're also, you know...
You.
Again, confirming my world view.
What's that supposed to mean?
Oh, nothing.
Nothing here.
Just a lovely friendship.
What's wrong with that?
Nothing.
You're a priest.
I'm dying.
I get it,
but in different circumstances,
we're totally dating right now.
No. No, I...
No.
Wow, father,
you really know
how to make a girl feel special.
No, I mean...
This isn't...
I-I... we're...
I... I wouldn't say that...
That... I mean, we're not.
I-I'm not. You know?
No, I don't,
but I'd be happy
to give feedback
if you feel compelled
to articulate
an entire thought.
I am committed to god.
That means that any...
Emotional connection,
that is...
Other than friendship,
which... which is
what I think that we have...
Friendship.
You know? A really strong...
But anything more than that
is obviously not allowed.
I mean,
it goes against everything...
Uh... everything...
That I am, so...
How do you expect to get laid if you
keep saying that kind of stuff?
That was a joke. Relax.
Well, you're probably going
to hell because of it,
so I really hope
it was worth it.
I really can't tell jokes,
can I?
Come on!
No, man, sorry.
But you did really sell
the whole humorless,
stodgy priest thing there.
Yeah.
We work on it in seminary,
for years.
Yeah,
that and thurible swinging.
Thurible swinging?
Yeah.
Sounds dirty.
Uh, well...
Sorry. It's late.
You're cute.
I'm human.
Can I... ask you a question?
Maybe.
The whole dying thing.
No.
What?
Let's not.
Come on.
You've got off-limits,
you know, stuff. So do I.
Well, we both know that
you're not... Daniel.
I mean,
you don't even look sick.
Like at all.
It's late.
I should go inside.
Jane.
Thanks for walking me home.
I didn't mean to...
It's just...
I don't know why we have to keep
up with the, you know, charade.
Charade?
No, that's not what I...
I-I just mean...
You don't...
I mean, you look...
How?
What?
How do I look?
Well, no, I just...
I don't look frail...
Helpless?
I seem a bit too healthy?
Well, I guess that's a testament
to my formidable spirit.
Good night, friend.
There's a decent case
for blasphemy here...
You see? Keep missing
your morning jogs,
breaking your routine,
that's your future.
What?
Nothing.
Daniel, say it.
He's happy.
What?
I know that you take some issue with
father Ollie's eccentricities, but...
He treats this like a joke.
But look at him.
That's what I'm talking about.
Good, good, good, good, good.
Lost your snare
at the bridge, keyshawn...
He's wearing basketball shoes.
Under his habit.
You know what I mean.
I'm not so sure... actually.
Never mind.
Doug?
Were you lip syncing?
No.
Doug.
No.
Doug.
And I broke Doug.
That's on me.
That's my bad.
Daniel... I should probably
go get some work done.
Doug, come.
Sit.
Come here. Come here.
Come here.
C'mere, c'mere, c'mere...
Doug, sing these...
Bring your air down lower.
And you're back.
I'm so proud of you.
That's the way to...
What's going on here?
What is it?
I met someone.
You met someone?
Yes.
What does that mean?
A person.
I met a person.
There was a person,
and I met her.
Her?
Yes.
Hmm.
I see.
No big deal.
And that's what happens
when you apply
a little bit of enthusiasm...
Doug!
Now you're embarrassing yourself
in a place of worship.
Take a knee.
You will not be in this
rehearsal until I tell you.
So it wasn't
just someone you met.
You... you met her.
A... female someone.
I didn't do anything, father.
No one says you did.
Because I didn't.
Okay.
So it doesn't matter if it was
a female someone or a her
if I didn't do anything, which I
didn't, so it doesn't... matter.
Great.
Terrific.
Glory be.
I didn't do anything, father.
Well, that's between you
and god, now, isn't it?
Let's go one more time.
Let's feel it.
Practice makes perfect.
B-4.
Bingo Thursdays with
Edith and Ruth.
And Jane.
G-51.
Oh! G-51.
When you're blessed,
you're blessed. Am I right?
Yeah?
No?
Okay.
I-17.
Nope. No I-17.
I-16.
I-18 would've done it.
But no.
This is fun. Let me know
when you really wanna talk.
Jane.
E-7.
I got you something.
What is it?
Open it.
I wasn't expecting you'd...
You've been holding out on me.
I don't know what to say.
I'm pleasantly... surprised.
Is this a joke?
What do you mean?
I don't understand.
E-46.
Don't do this Daniel.
Please.
You of all people. I'm not letting you
turn out to be a disappointment too.
O-68.
Please, just... take that.
For your sake.
For my sake?
See you around.
Father.
I-43.
Where are we?
Why are we here?
No, no no, don't.
Don't try to answer.
Just maybe give that some
thought for a second or two.
Why are we here?
I mean, I can tell you
for a fact
I'm only here
for the free communion wafers.
'Course that's just me.
But the rest of you.
Why?
And I, I don't mean
philosophically.
I mean right now.
In this exact moment.
What brought you into
this building?
Guilt?
Fear? Obligation?
Perhaps you aren't
even into the big radio hits.
And you're more of a deep track,
b-side kind of guy.
So, are you looking for
a sense of community?
A moment of reflection?
An escape?
You can do a lot worse.
This really is
a beautiful building.
Oh my goodness.
But...
But...
If what brought you here
doesn't at least have something
to do with compassion.
Well then, that's all there
really is.
Huh?
A building.
Compassion.
Oh, what a concept.
I mean, we all like to think
that we are...
Compassionate.
Help you feel better.
Thoughts and prayers.
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
But it's a funny thing though.
Because when you find out where the word
compassion comes from, it's real...
Origin.
It turns out
the word actually means
to suffer with.
Not to pity.
Not to feel sorry for,
not to send hugs
to somebody's Facebook wall.
But to suffer with.
And are you capable
of suffering with
someone else?
To...
Take on their pain.
And carry it around with you
for a while.
Someone...
Hurting.
Someone...
Completely lost.
Someone...
With less than you.
Less money.
Less stuff. Yeah, whatever.
But what about less freedom?
Less choice.
Less...
Privilege.
Less basic human rights.
Are you truly able to
suffer with...
Others?
But,
will you?
How much I owe you?
Good run? Good, good, yeah.
Very good.
Very focused.
Good.
It was great, actually.
It was,
it was great.
Great.
I would definitely classify that
run as great.
If I were to classify it.
Which apparently I am. So...
Yep. I would file it
under g for great.
How's scripture?
Wonderful.
It is.
Always wonderful. Scripture.
I'm just going to go ahead and
opt out of this conversation.
How's it going?
'Kay, I'm on my way.
Everything okay?
It's Ronnie.
He's on his way out.
Well, perhaps you should allow
the family to...
He asked for me.
Oh. You've spent so much time...
He asked for me, Victor.
Of course.
If one of you could cover
my 10:00am confession,
that'd be Ter...
- Can I go with you?
- No.
- What if, uh...
- We'll finish in the car.
So, dying sucks.
You okay?
Yeah. I didn't
really know him, so...
Well, that's not what I asked.
I'm fine.
It's awfully easy
to forget, but,
we're pretty damn lucky to
be able to do what we do.
Priests?
Humans.
What'd you say?
Wanna crush a little Arby's
on the way home?
Thank you.
You know, it's fans like you
that really make it all
worth-while.
You see, that was actually funny
because you guys
aren't being supportive
at all.
Is why it's funny.
What I just said.
Okay.
I cheered.
Probably couldn't hear me because
I was standing outside the door.
What do you want?
I'm sorry.
For what?
For the other day and the Bible.
Just say being a dick.
What?
I'm sorry for being a dick.
That should cover everything.
I'm sorry for... yes, Daniel,
you can take me home.
But please no funny business.
I'm saving myself for
the right clergyman.
You want something to drink?
Uh, yeah.
I have...
Water. And... water.
And...
Well, water.
Water would be great.
Great.
Make yourself at home.
It's amazing. Isn't it?
Jane.
No.
What?
You said Jane like, Jane.
What does that mean?
That tone.
I had a tone?
Um, yeah. That, you know...
Eat your vegetables tone.
Jane.
Don't do it.
I, can we just...
Don't.
I just wanna ask...
We had a good thing.
Why would you wanna mess that...
Do you even know
what it is that I'm gonna ask?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
So?
So, what?
Eh-tell me.
Why would I say something out loud that
I'm practically begging you not to ask?
Because you realize that
I'm asking you a real question.
You miss, uh, I-sing.
And-I'm-emotionally-fearless.
And-i-do-really-
weird-things-to-my-hair.
To-try-and-make-it-less-attractive-but-it-always-
makes-it-more-attractive.
You're afraid to let somebody
know who you are.
You think this makes me
more attractive? Okay.
You were going to ask me about
the whole death thing. Again.
I told you I knew.
Do you get that a lot?
Yeah.
Right before
I never see someone again.
I'm not going anywhere.
Yeah well...
You're not the one
I'm worried about.
I'm not crazy.
In case you were wondering.
I mean, yeah. But no.
Not really.
It started off as a joke.
But just, saying it,
I'm dying.
Finite.
It gave things
a sense of urgency.
And sometimes it doesn't work.
Well, most of the time.
But there are days,
if I really let myself
buy into it,
where I can actually see
the beauty of how little time
we actually have.
And lately,
that only seems to be happening
when I'm with you.
What the hell are we?
I don't know.
I think that's okay.
Me too.
But we should make some rules.
Rules?
Yeah.
If we're gonna proceed with this
whole, star-crossed, platonic,
g-rated, tragicomedy
of ours,
we should be very clear on what
we can and can't do.
That's actually not a bad idea.
Which makes sense,
'cause I only have good ones.
So... what?
Rule number one:
Nothing sexual and...
Yep. Agreed.
I wasn't finished.
I am sorry.
Nothing sexual in nature.
Although, I mean.
I can't just turn off
my natural appeal.
I mean...
There's a lot going on here.
And you're just gonna have to
learn to view it as a work of art
in a museum that you can view and
appreciate but you know never...
And you, quite frankly...
I'm sorry.
Are gonna have to stop dressing
so suggestively.
I know.
Rule number two...
Uh-uh my turn.
But I...
I get to make some rules.
Okay, but mine was gonna
be good.
Rule number two:
We let ourselves be friends.
Without shame.
Could be a bit tight.
But for having three baptisms
in a week,
I think we found
a really nice job.
What about Friday?
Friday?
Yeah. Night.
If I have this correct I think we
should all be free at that time.
For what?
Dinner.
No offense, but we already eat
together like 15 times a week.
I also have a reservation for
the golden corral,
which I'm not gonna miss.
They take reservations?
No. No Daniel, they don't.
What's going on Friday?
I just thought that
we could all have dinner.
Together. At the rectory.
Oh yeah, no problem.
With a friend of mine.
A friend?
If this friend is
as fun as you two,
well, count me in.
She is fun. Great.
Fun and great.
She?
She. Yes.
She's a she. Jane is her name.
It's a female name.
Which she has because she's
a girl. Woman.
Well, to be clear,
I'm definitely available
for this dinner now.
I like the bread.
- Thanks.
- Yes, Daniel.
Bread is quite good.
It's brioche.
I didn't realize you baked.
Oh no. I bought it.
Well, it's really good.
Still.
For store bought
it's really good.
Pasta's good too.
You bought the pasta as well?
Nope. Nope. I made that. Myself.
- Old family recipe.
- Oh.
Ollie.
You being a connoisseur
of all things, remotely edible,
I'd love to have
your expert opinion on the meal.
It's hilarious.
I'm sorry?
Very good. It's delicious.
Excellent effort.
I'm proud of you.
Thank you. I always felt like
I should cook more, you know?
I agree. And the best part
of cooking more...
Is more dinner guests.
Umm... thanks.
No. Thank you.
And thank you for introducing us
to Jenny.
Jane.
What did I say?
Not Jane.
Strawberry shortcake
for dessert.
So, you know, gotta save room.
And ice cream.
Sponge or pound?
What?
Sponge cake or pound cake
as the base?
You know, it's called
strawberry shortcake,
but I never really considered
strawberry shortcake
unless it has a pound cake
or a sponge cake as the base.
Not that biscuit thing
that my grandmother used to always
try to pass off as dessert.
Well, traditionally speaking,
shortcake is really supposed to
be more savory, less sweet.
A fun fact.
Especially if you decide
you want to do your own baking.
I definitely prefer sponge cake.
Oh. That's your god given right.
And there is um...
Certainly others who feel
that it's less,
uh, substantive. Empty.
Fleeting.
But it tastes better.
Amen sister.
And sure it might be wrapped
in cheap cellophane,
shelf stable for like,
a hundred years.
Sadly placed somewhere between
little Debbie's
and generic Twinkies rip-offs on
the shelf
but at the end of the day,
if it tastes better
than your other options,
what can you do?
Have better taste.
Oh man. I forgot.
There is no cake.
There's no sponge cake.
There's no pound cake.
There's no shortcake.
There's no cake.
Got caught up in the
strawberries I guess.
But yeah. Anyway.
There is ice cream.
Which everyone seems to enjoy so...
- Vanilla or chocolate?
Can we just talk about dinner?
The flavor...
Just for right now?
Please. Thank you.
That'd be great.
So, Jane.
Did I say it right this time?
Yes.
Hmm. What do you do, Jane?
Like, for a living?
Sure.
I'm a musician.
Mostly at a coffee shop.
Where I also sometimes work.
Because I'm a musician.
Mostly at a coffee shop.
Well would you say that,
music is your passion?
Um, well I mean, yeah.
It's a passion.
Yeah. She's really good.
Pretty great.
We should go
check her out sometime.
What does that mean?
What does what mean?
A passion.
I mean,
a person can have
more than one passion.
Right?
You tell me.
I think I just did.
Daniel.
Uh, yeah. I think um...
I think passion, you know,
has several different, uh...
Like father Ollie.
He likes, uh, carbohydrates.
Uh, basketball.
Iu basketball, specifically.
Thank you very much. You can forget
about the rest of division I.
- See?
- And I really enjoy running, and... so, the...
Passion of Christ
or a...
Passion
of Christ.
Are interchangeable.
I think it's different
than what we're talking about.
Simple question.
No.
Obviously not.
So Daniel.
So your new friend could,
understand where
you're really coming from.
What is your passion?
Do you have many passions?
Spread out.
Scattered.
As Jane seems to.
What would you say you have a...
Overriding passion
in your life...
That you have made a serious...
All-encompassing commitment to.
I mean, you speak of Ollie's
quirks as if, uh...
Have you,
ever, at your worst,
even considered making
god second?
Have you ever considered
not being such an assface?
Yes or no?
Father.
I think this is something we
can more appropriately address
once our guest has...
Yes or no?
No.
Dick.
So Daniel. We're not quivering
over semantics, or are we
trying to compare out hobbies
with our purpose.
What.
Is.
Your.
Passion?
I'm gonna go.
Afraid of the answer?
Not half as much as you are.
It was nice to meet you.
Jane you don't have to...
Let her go.
Was that supposed to, like, have
some sort of deeper meaning?
In our work. Everything has
some sort of deeper meaning.
Sure.
See you around.
God bless, Jessica.
Eat a dick, father.
Is there really no cake?
Really?
What do you want me to say?
Can we please talk about this
anywhere else?
Talk about what?
Please?
Talk about what Daniel?
It's just... she's.
Us.
Us?
I think she means them.
Is there something
you want to say to me?
No.
Bullshit.
Nothing happened.
Bullshit.
Daniel. Nothing.
Enough!
This is not a game.
You're not trying this out to see if maybe
you're able to make a commitment to god.
This is how you breathe.
Eat. Live. Love. Everything.
This is you.
Father Daniel Jameson.
I don't know what's going on
between you two.
- And it sounds like you don't either.
- Nothing.
It was nothing.
Jane.
You're human.
We all are.
This is...
These things happen.
I'm not asking questions.
I'm not...
Whatever happened.
Whatever it was,
all that matters is this:
What do you believe
what do you want Daniel?
I want to be a man of god.
That's all I ever wanted.
And that's enough Daniel.
That's enough.
It'll be okay.
You haven't lost faith,
have you?
No.
I never had it.
Until I met her.
Everything will be okay.
It's just, we have to...
It has to be. It has to be.
Because that's what people say.
We say that because
we think that it will be.
Think.
Know.
Hope.
Because nobody knows, mom.
Nobody knows.
That's why it's called faith.
I don't. I don't know what you
want me to...
It's... it's not magic.
It's not magic.
We're just people. We just...
We try to be
you know, we make choices that,
uh...
We just try to help people.
I miss him too.
I know.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I love you, too.
God is in the details.
I've hear the same about
the devil.
I suppose it depends on what
details you're focusing on.
Sorry.
We all said things
last night that...
No. For everything.
It's been a rough year.
And, uh...
I just thought that I could...
That I could...
You know, I just...
I don't know. I don't know.
Oh, bullshit.
Daniel.
No. I know exactly what
I've been... I've been.
You get... lost.
Just. Everything is about...
You get caught up in yourself,
and uh...
And I just... somewhere along the
way it just all became about me.
And...
I felt...
Empty.
Spent.
And. I just... I tried.
But she...
Made me forget about all that.
You know, she...
Made sense
when nothing really did.
But see that's just
me thinking about me
about what I want, and about...
What makes me feel like I,
what makes me...
Feel.
I... i... I don't mean that...
It's not that...
I made a promise
a commitment to something that
is bigger than myself
and, I can't break that
to just...
Ease my mind. Or my fears.
My... love.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
And I'm back.
God bless.
God bless.
Before you go,
think I could run
part of my homily by you?
You want my feedback?
Okay.
Have you been reading much,
John lately?
Yeah. Well,
I'm a little bit more of
a Ringo man myself. But...
Sorry.
Laugh pause.
That actually was pretty funny.
Trust yourself.
No one has ever seen god.
But, if we love each other,
god lives in us.
John, 4-12.
I probably read that over
100 times in my life.
I thought I knew what it meant
but it turns out
I never really understood
mush about it at all.
Seeing god.
It's not that I don't see him.
I do.
It's just that I've always
assumed that
it could be done only one way.
Through prayer.
Through faith.
Through the perfect ritual
of mass.
If it worked for me.
Why not everyone else?
If we love each other,
god lives in us.
What does that really mean?
Love itself cannot
be defined or...
Understood, or...
Quantified.
Denied.
If god is a mystery,
love probably is as well.
Because, at the end of the day,
after a lifetime
of theological study,
my knowledge of love and god
amounts to little more than
these two truths:
One:
They both exist.
And two:
When it comes to
the matters of god
or the matters of love,
I can no longer tell
the difference.
And for this,
I feel blessed.