The Good, the Bad, and Huckleberry Hound (1988) Movie Script

The year was 1849, when a voice cried out
from America's Wild West.
Gold! Gold! Gold!
'I found gold!'
And so, began the gold rush
and the race to Californei.
The horses have reached the starting gate.
The flag is up.
And they're off.
The pioneers headed West to stake their claims.
And among these prospectors, was a lone rebel
a mysterious, steely-eyed and silent-type stranger.
Oh my darlin'
Oh my darlin'
Oh my darlin'
Eh, excuse me. Uh, pardon me.
Uh, who are you?
Well, I'm that mysterious,
steely-eyed, silent-type
stranger you was talkin' about.
Namely, Huckleberry Hound.
Heading West to pan for gold?
Heck, no! I'm goin' to settle
down on a quaint country farm
and raise goats and pigs.
And maybe a little ruckus
on Saturday night. Heh-heh.
And so as our hero journeyed West
he ran into countless obstacles.
Like treacherous mountain cliffs.
Steaming and sizzling hot deserts.
Mmm, this here steamin'
and sizzlin' hot apple pie
is mighty tasty.
Not desserts, deserts.
Shotguns, must've been one of them
tricky type mirages.
He battled the blazing western sun.
I sure could use a sip of water
right about now.
The rampaging and racing rivers.
Me and my big mouth.
And the worst obstacle yet, the Californei freeways.
But these natural hazards were a piece of cake compared to..
The Dalton Gang.
Duh, I'm Dinky.
I'm Pinky.
I'm Finky.
And I'm Stinky.
We is the Dalton Gang.
Oh, Dalton brothers, say "Cheese!"
Yes, the Dalton Gang.
Wanted dead or un-alive.
The crime spree of the Daltons became legendary.
They'd rob anything from anyone
anywhere, anytime and any place.
Anyhow, the Daltons were the most despicable, low-down
nasty, cheatin', thievin', rotten-to-the-core polecats.
What was that, bigmouth?
Uh, I-I said, uh, uh, the Daltons were just
the nicest group of fellers you'd ever want to meet.
And cute, too.
Well, that's more like it.
But the long arm of the law
finally caught up with Stinky Dalton.
The Two Bit City court
is now in session.
'The right honorable Judge
Tumbleweed Flopner presiding.'
Mr. Stinky, you've been charged
with assault, train robbery
cattle rustling and worst of all
forgetting Mother's Day.
Gee, I'm sorry.
Now you must pay
for your crimes.
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury
what is your verdict?
Guilty guilty
Mr. Stinky's guilty
Mr. Stinky,
I sentence you to 90 years
in the state penitentiary.
Make that, uh, 90 days
in the county jail.
Alright then,
how about 90 minutes
in your room with no television?
No television?
Forget it, pal.
I'll take the 90 days.
While Stinky pouted in jail, his brothers waited patiently
in the peaceful little town of Two Bit Californei.
Welcome, my friends, to Two Bit.
Yours truly, Mayor Hokey Wolf
at your service.
Just one word of advice, folks.
Steer clear of the Daltons.
They'll steal the shirts
right of your back.
Not to mention your pants.
And into this peaceful little town
came our mysterious steely-eyed and silent-type stranger.
Well, now, faithful horsie
what have we here?
'This appears to be a perfect spot'
to settle down and raise goats and pigs.
Hmm, Two Bit Californei.
But unfortunately, there seems
to be a pickpocket on the loose.
And so, plucky Huckleberry Hound
began his quest to recover
his faithful horse and fancy saddle.
Not to mention,
my spiffy western duds.
Uh, excuse me,
Mr. Mysterious, Steely-Eyed
and Silent-Type Stranger sir.
Perhaps, you can spare
a lip-smackin' snack.
Some left over left-overs.
Or even a delicious dessert for
a poor hungry woodland creature.
Namely, me, Yogi bear
who is stranded
in this dusty, western town.
What about me, Yogi?
And maybe a tidbit or two for
my pint-sized sidekick, Boo Boo.
Sorry, fellas,
I'm plum out of vittles.
No vittles?
What do we do, Boo Boo?
I'm too young to diet.
Gee, Yogi, maybe we should
go back to Jellystone Park.
Jellystone Park?
I couldn't take it anymore.
All the tourists there
would say, "Look at the bears!
Look at the bears!
Look at the bears!"
Relax, Yogi,
there isn't a tourist
within a hundred miles of here!
Look at the bears!
Look at the bears!
Look at the bears!
Look at the bears!
Look at the bears!
Look at the bears!
Look at the bears!
Ugh! I can't take it anymore.
Now, that was sort of
a bizarre interlude, wasn't it?
Meanwhile, after a long day of being ornery no-good critters
the Daltons pulled up at Rusty Nail Saloon.
Dinky, tie up the horses.
Duh, okay.
Oh, so boys, how would you all
like to hear
Rusty Nails warble up
a pretty little ditty?
Ooh, hit it, Snagglepuss.
I'd be delighted. Overjoyed.
Underjoyed, even.
Anything can happen
at Rusty Nails Saloon
Dinky Dalton Calipton
ridin' on a broom
Over a big ten gallon hat
The other hat oh far
He filled it
full up to the brim
Some dripped on the floor
The broom got mad
wheeled around
With his one big hoof
Gave that cowboy such a kick
He went right
through the roof already
But cowboy went in orbit
Clear up to the moon
Yes anything can happen
At Rusty Nails Saloon
Yes anything can happen
At Rusty Nails
Anything can happen
and it just about did
- I'm Finky!
- I'm Pinky!
I'm Dinky.
We is the Dalton Gang.
Minus our big brother, Stinky,
who's in the calaboose.
And I'm Red Eye, the bartender.
What's your poison, gents?
Rattlesnake juice on the rocks.
Duh, tarantula spritzer, please.
I'll have a Shirley Temple.
With two cherries.
Uh, c-comin' right up, boys.
Bottoms up, boys.
gulp slurp
Yeah! Just like ma used to make.
This is yummy! I want more!
Ooh. The bubbles tickle my nose.
I'm not thirsty anymore,
but now I'm bored.
I wanna have some fun.
Duh, yeah.
How about some dancin'?
Preferably, ballet.
Oh, Snagglepuss, some dancin'
for our honored guests.
Watch closely as my feet
never my legs.
I said, ballet!
Heavens to Murgatroyd!
Everybody's a critic.
Exit stage, outta here.
In double-time even.
While the Daltons were having their fun
Huckleberry Hound arrived on the scene.
Maybe I'll find them villains
in this here saloon.
Seems like a mighty
friendly place.
Shuckins! They even take
your hat at the door.
Oh, hello there, big boy.
What can Rusty Nails do for you?
My palate is a bit parched
and I'd like
a shot of root beer.
But unfortunately
all I got to pay for it with
is this here gold nugget.
Duh, look at the size
of that guy's gold nugget.
Eh, too bad he's
such a rotten dresser.
I want a gold nugget too.
Well, I got a plan on how's
we can get us that nugget.
Duh, greetings, stranger.
How's about
a friendly game of poker?
Sorry, friend,
but I never gamble.
Of course,
there's always a first time.
Cut the deck, Dinky.
This'll be a one hand,
a five card start.
Winner take all.
Includin' your gold nugget,
Hmm, these boys look familiar.
Of course, they does.
Them is the armed critters
who stole your faithful horsie
and your fancy saddle.
Not to mention,
your spiffy western duds.
That's right!
Maybe I can win back
what rightfully belongs to me
in this here game of poker.
Yeah, 'fraid not, stranger.
I win with four aces. Ha ha.
Not so fast.
I got five aces. I win.
Hold it, hold it.
I win. I've got six aces.
All I got
is a pair of threesies.
But I couldn't resist gettin'
in on this comedy pie gag.
And besides, I do believe
you boys are cheatin'.
Nobody accuses the Daltons of cheatin'.
And lives to tell about it.
Duh, looks like
we is gonna have us a fight.
This mysterious steely-eyed
and silent-type stranger biz
is becoming a real pain.
Ladies and gentlemen
it's time for the main event.
In this corner,
weighing a combined 862 pounds
'the Dalton brothers!'
And in this corner,
weighing 78 pounds
after a large meal
with two desserts
the steely-eyed
and silent-type stranger.
He forgot the part
about me being mysterious.
Oh, the prizes for tonight's
victor include a faithful horsie
and a fancy saddle.
Oh, not to mention
some spiffy western duds.
Huh! That there is my stuff.
Let the massacree begin!
You folks out there
that are a mite squeamish
had best hide your eyes.
This could get ugly.
As the battle between Huck and the Daltons raged on
the townsfolk were on the edge of their seats with excitement.
I just love watching fights
from a ring-side seat.
And, so night fell on the
peaceful little town of Two Bit.
The fight's finally ended,
two minutes into round 705.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten!
The winner Huckleberry Hound.
I couldn't have done it
without the help
of my little old
good luck charm, Betsy.
Meet Betsy.
We lost! I hate losing.
Well, I got back my faithful
horsie and fancy saddle.
Not to mention,
my spiffy western duds.
Now, it's high time I deposited
this here gold nugget
in the bank.
In the bank, huh?
Yeah, if there's
anything we like
better than fightin',
it's robbing banks.
We'll teach him that nobody
messes with the Daltons.
Especially if that nobody
is a rotten dresser.
So Huckleberry Hound headed across town
to deposit his gold nugget in the Two Bit National Bank.
Here, it's business as usual for..
Bank president,
Quick Draw McGraw.
And his faithful sideskicks,
Baba Looey.
Well, Baba boy, our spankin'
brand new fangled
burglar alarm system
is ready for a dry run
trial test.
I don't think it's going to
work, Quicks Draw.
Now, hold on there, Baba Looeys.
I'll do the thinnin' around here
and don't you forget it.
That Quicks Draw,
what a hambone.
Now, you play the bad guy type
villain, Baba Looey.
You know, I double dog
dare ya to rob this bank.
Whatever you say, Quicks Draw.
Stick 'em up.
Now, watch careful, Ike
as I cleverly pull
this here lever
thus activating the burglar type
alarm system.
This thing must weigh a ton.
And it's a squinch
out of tune to boot.
I think there are still
some bugs in the system.
And some
in Quicks Draw's head too.
Oh my darlin'
Oh my darlin'
Oh my darlin' Clementine
Howdy y'all.
Howdy, mysterious, steely-eyed
and silent-type stranger.
What can we do you for, today?
I've come to deposit
this here gold nugget.
In our ten years of service
You're our very first customer.
Which entitles you to receive
one of these complimentary
gift-type presents.
First, a brand new fountain pen.
complete with ink.
Hmm, blue. My favorite color.
Or you might choose
this lovely calendar
picturising the Grand Tetons.
Whoops, this here
is my calendar.
Or this wonderful toaster.
The greatest invention
since sliced bread.
Hmm, pumpernickel.
My favorite.
Or instead,
you could choose this
'brand new Conestoga wagon.'
And last but not least,
you and a guest could travel
in first-class comfort
on a cruise around the world.
with Captain Peter Potamus.
Tahiti, here we come.
Well, stranger,
which selection do you select?
Take the car!
Hmm, it's a tough choice.
But pretty much got my heart set
on that there pen.
Just wanted to make sure
it still works.
Rest assured, your gold nugget
is safe and sound with us.
- Stick em' up!
- Yeah, this is a bank heist.
That is,
unless we have a bank heist.
Duh, give us all your gold!
Never! The gold is safely locked
away inside this here safe.
To which, I shall never
divulge the combonation.
Thirty-four to the left,
six to the right
twenty-seven to the left.
Psst, Baba Looey..
activate the new fangled burglar
alarm type system.
And pronto.
You're the boss, Quicks Draw.
Now, you Daltons are about to
learn that crime does not..
Anybody have aspirin?
Gee, sorry about that,
Mr. Mysterious, Steely-Eyed
and Silent-type Stranger sir.
No problem.
At least they didn't steal
my free complimentary-type pen.
That's what you think.
Nyah nyah.
Oh, now I'm really mad.
Duh, we better get outta here.
Yeah, I don't wanna get caught.
Yeah, besides, it's time
for my bubble bath.
Them fellers won't be laughin'
once I report this
to the local authorities.
Excuse me,Senor Mysterious,
you mean the sheriff?
That's right. Would you fellers
mind takin' me to see him?
Whatever you say.
Well, there's the sheriff.
'Course, he ain't much
in a chattin' mood.
The Daltons took care of that.
You could say he's been
buried in his work.
Baba Looey, your sense of humor
is for the buzzards.
Well, somebody's gotta bring
them Daltons to justice.
And I'm just
the mysterious, steely-eyed
and silent-type stranger
to do it.
Meanwhile, in the county jail, Stinky was planning an escape
that would go un-noticed.
Perfect! No one will
ever know I broke out.
'We interrupt our program to
bring you this special report.'
Stinky Dolton
has just escaped from jail.
Roving reporter,
Magilla Gorilla is on the scene
'with his live report.
And now, jail guard,
Mr. Peebles, will tell us
exactly what happened.
Mr. Peebles?
You don't say.
You don't say!
He don't say!
You heard it here first, folks.
A complete and detailed report
on the Stinky Dalton breakout.
Thank you, Magilla.
A word of warning
to all you Two Bit citizens.
Stinky Dolton is armed
and dangerous.
He's also a low-down, no-good,
ugly polecat.
Oh-h, though he does have
his good points.
That's better.
And, so ends our special report.
You forgot one thing, news boy.
What was that?
I'll be heading to Two Bit
to do some real damage.
Right after these important
messages, so stay tuned.
Without realizing that their brother Stinky
had escaped from jail
the Daltons discussed their next devious plan
in their secret hideout.
Duh, what do you say
we blast the saloon?
No, I say we blast
the railroad station.
What do you say, Pinky?
I say we change this wallpaper.
It clashes with the curtains.
But first, we gotta get rid
of that Yuckleberry Hound.
Duh, he's a real troublemaker.
Not only that,
he's a rotten dresser.
Duh, our big brother Stinky
would know what to do
with Huckleberry.
'Too bad
he's locked up in jail.'
But I escaped
and I'll be join' up
with you boys in no time.
At the Two Bit City Hall, the weekly town meeting
was just getting started.
What about those Daltons?
Alright, you goofballs,
quiet down, will ya?
Order! Order!
I-I'll take a ham and cheese,
if you please.
Hold the mayo, Mr. Mayor.
Make mine a tuna melt,
Red Eye.
And hop to it, hurry up.
Go, go, go.
Sure thing, Mayor Hokey.
Now, about those Daltons.
Mayor Hokey! Mayor Hokey!
While I was gettin'
the sandwiches
this important message come in
at the telegraph office.
What's it say?
It says, "Beep beep beep dot dot
dot dot dot beep beep beep."
Oh, boy, everybody
is a comedian.
Red, you knucklehead,
read it in English.
Okie dokie, Mayor Hokey.
"Stinky Dolton has
done busted out of jail.
'And he's arrivin' here tomorrow
on the noon train."'
Oh, this is awful,
this is terrible.
You're tellin' me? My sandwich
is drippin' with mayo.
It also says that Stinky
is gonna go gunnin'
for the sheriff.
Then what's the problem?
Two Bit doesn't have a sheriff.
And if there's no sheriff, he's
gonna go gunnin' for the mayor.
Now we have a problem.
I hope you find a sheriff.
But where will we ever find
anybody that stupid?
Hi, y'all!
I just stopped by to tell y'all
I'm plum fed-up of them Daltons.
You said a mouthful.
And to solve all our problems
I, Mayor Hokey, nominate you,
Huckleberry Hound, for sheriff.
But I don't wanna be sheriff.
I just want a quaint
country farm
where I can raise
goats and pigs.
'Nonsense, nonsense!'
All those in favor, say "Aye."
All those who oppose, say "Nay."
It is now my pleasure
to pin this badge
on the new sheriff of Two Bit.
Sheriff Huckleberry, would you
care to make a statement?
Yes, always wear a shirt
when somebody pins a badge
on your chest.
Huckleberry Hound's first job as sheriff
was to clean up the town.
I don't do windows.
Meanwhile, the Dalton Brothers continued their crime spree.
Horse stealing.
Holding up stagecoaches.
Stick 'em up!
Robbing trains.
Duh, I always wanted
my own choo-choo.
And worst of all, littering.
Now, they've gone too far.
Ah, this candy bar
is delicious.
Ew, mine's got coconut.
I hate coconut!
I'm allergic to chocolate.
It's murder on my complexion.
But I just can't resist.
I'm puttin' you in jail
for contributin'
to the untidiness of Two Bit.
Sheriff, no one's ever
put us in jail.
And lived to tell about it.
Don't force me to get tough.
Just come along
peaceful like, please.
Duh, toodle-oo, sheriff.
Uh, roger, Mission Control. All systems are go.
Three, two, one, ignition.
We have lift-off.
Perhaps I should've said
I guess we took care
of that icky Huckleburger Hound.
'He won't be bothering us
no more.'
That's what they think.
I'll outfox 'em
with my fancy ropin'.
Here's my brain power
versus their muscle power.
And the brains win out every time.
Make that almost every time.
Daltons, give up. I got you
covered with this here cannon.
And we got you covered
with our cannon, sheriff.
And I got your cannon
re-covered with my cannon.
We see your cannon
and raise you a bigger cannon.
This little baby ought to put
an end to it, once and for all.
Surrender or I'll be forced
to use heavy artillery.
What is your answer?
I take that to mean "No?"
That Sheriff Knuckleberry will
never take us Daltons to jail.
Duh, ho-ho-ho!
He's right, you know.
So instead, I brung the jail
to them Daltons.
So, thanks to the bravery of Sheriff Huck
three of the Daltons were behind bars.
But the fourth Dalton, Stinky
was on his way to Two Bit.
You got that right,
Mr. Narrator.
And I got me a bullet
with the sheriff's name on it.
Meanwhile, in Two Bit, the townsfolk threw a party
for their new hero, Huckleberry Hound.
For he's a jolly
good sheriff
For he's a jolly
good sheriff
For he's a jolly
good sheriff
Who Stinky
is going to smash
Who Stinky is going to smash
Who Stinky is going to smash
For he's a jolly good sheriff
Who Stinky is gonna smash
Of course, my friends here
might beat Stinky to the punch.
Punch bowl, that is.
Before the final showdown
we have some lovely
parting gifts
for the soon-to-be departed
First, this lovely redwood box
with padded-silk ling.
Ooh! Ahh!
Mm, mighty comfortable.
Plenty of headroom, too.
And from the Two Bit's
National Bank
this lovely,
personalized headstone.
I am touched..
bam more ways than one.
And now, the man of the hour,
who has only a few hours left..
Huckleberry Hound.
Speak! Speak!
First off, I'd like to
personally thank
each and every one of you
for all these lovely gifts.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
'Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.'
Thank you. Thank you.
And in conclusion, thank you.
And listen, y'all.
evil shall prevail in Two Bit
unless we all stand together.
Therefore, all you folks
who'd like to help me
fight Mr. Stinky Dalton,
please step forward.
Well, what do you know?
Looks like there'll be
a few less people
on my Christmas card list
this year.
With noon fast approaching
time was running out for Sheriff Huck.
Hmm, 11:30.
I'll give them townsfolks
one last chance
to join my cause.
I'll start by askin'
my closest and bestest pal
in the whole wide world,
Yogi Bear.
I've never seen this guy
before in my life.
But, Yogi,
I need a few good men.
That leaves us bears out. I'd
rather lunch than take a punch.
That goes ditto for me.
Hmm, looks like I'm in
the market for a new closest
and bestest pal
in the whole wide world.
Hokey, I hope you'll be standin'
by me in my hour of need.
Don't worry your
pretty little head, Huck.
I've got you covered,
completely protected.
- I knew I could count on you.
- That's right.
I've signed you up for a million
dollar life insurance policy.
With yours truly, Hokey Wolf,
as sole beneficiary.
Sign here, please.
I'd sign it too
exceptin' that them Daltons
stole my free
complimentary-type pen.
No problem,
I'll sign it for you.
I mean, what are friends for?
I'm beginnin'
to wonder that myself.
Well, I know
I can depend on Snagglepuss.
Anybody here seen Snagglepuss?
Hi there, tall, dark and blue.
New in town?
Is it just me
or do all women out West
appear to a mite ugly.
Flattery will
get you everywhere.
Beggin' your pardon, ma'am.
But have a seen
a mangy, flea-bitten
floor rug
named Snagglepuss?
You're no Robert Redford
yourself, buster.
Oh, that Snagglepuss.
He's about to leave town.
Exit, to the powder room
to take a powder.
Stage right.
I'm no Einstein, but I do
believe that was the Snagglepuss
to whom I was referrin'.
Last on my list are
Quick Draw and Baba Looey.
I hope they don't let me down.
Can I count on you two fellers
to be me deputies?
Wo would love to help you,
Senor Huckleberries.
But, unfortunate like
we both just opened
spankin' new accounts.
And for our complimentary gifts,
we have chosen
the free trip around the world.
Tahiti-i, here we comes.
But them folks don't realize
is that you can't run away
from your problem.
All alone, Sheriff Huck returned to his office
to await the arrival of Stinky Dalton.
'Time's runnin' out,
Our brother's comin' in
on the noon train.
Duh, yeah! And he's gonna turn
you into Swiss cheese.
cuckoo cuckoo cuckoo
Phew! That's a relief.
For a minute there, I thought
that noon train
was gonna be late.
No wonder
they call this place Two Bit.
What ta-ta?
Out of my way, lady.
I'm Stinky Dalton.
And I'm gonna eliminate
me a sheriff.
As Stinky stepped off the noon train
he had only one thought in mind.
It's over for Huckleberry Hound.
Sorry, Stinky, but there's no
fire arms allowed here
in Two Bit.
These six shooters
are dangerous.
So don't forget, kids,
never play with guns.
Someone could get hurt.
Now, Mr. Stinky..
I want you to write
one hundred times
"I will never play with guns."
'I will never play with guns.'
'I will never play with guns.'
I will never play with guns.
But he didn't say nothin' about
playin' with TNT.
I'm gonna blow Two Bit
into itty-bitty bits.
Well, I guess that taught
Stinky Dalton a lesson.
I wonder who that could be.
'Oh, flower delivery.'
A peace offering
for Sheriff Huck
from Stinky Dalton.
It appears Mr. Stinky
has turned over a new leaf.
Thank you, kindly.
Excuse me,
Mr. Flower Delivery Man, sir
I seem to be..
to these here flowers.
But thanks anyway.
clatter clatter clatter
You know, if my free
complimentary-type pen
hadn't been stolen, I'd write
Mr. Stinky a thank you note.
Once more, I wonder who
is that tat-tattin' on my door.
'A singing telegram
for Sheriff Huck.'
Happy birthday Sheriff Huck
Wishing you
lots and lots of luck
With love from
Stinky Dalton
I'm all choked up.
Specially, since it
ain't even my birthday.
Excuse me, Mr. Deliver Boy
but I have to return this cake
'cause my name is misspelt.
Dear, Mr. Stinky..
Here's a note to thank you
for the purty presents.
Please forgive
my writing in crayon
but my free complimentary-type
pen was stolen by your brothers.
'Ho, ho, ho!'
I do believe
that sounds like Santi Claus.
Ho, ho, ho.
'Merry Christmas, Huck.'
Hmm. July.
Have you noticed how Christmas
just gets earlier every year?
You've been such a good,
little, mysterious
and silent-type stranger
that I brung ya
an extra special present.
So long, ma boy.
Ho, ho, ho!
You know, Santi's awful sweet.
Also, however there are many
less fortunate children
more deserving
of this present than I.
- Oh, Santi!
- 'What do you want?'
Please give this gift
to someone more needy.
Looks like I'm gonna need help
puttin' that
pain-in-the-neck sheriff
out of commission.
Oh, I know.
I'll break my brothers
out of jail.
Then all of us will stop
that hound dog's blue hide.
Ah, but first,
I better figure out a way
to land without gettin'..
...plastered, duh!
'I hate this place.'
What we need is a shovel
to dig us out of here.
Duh, what we need
is some dynamite
to blow us outta here.
What we need is a maid.
This place is a mess.
Stop your belly achin', boys.
You has to pay your debt
to society.
Once we get outta here,
we'll pay you
with a lump
on the head, Hucklepoo.
That's Sheriff Hucklepoo to you.
This place is becomin'
a regular knock-knock joke.
I'm Grandma Dalton.
And I came to visit with
my sweet little grandsons.
Why, who could say no to such a
petite young thing as yourself?
Come right in.
Look, fellas, it's Stinky.
Uh-uh, I mean..
our sweet, dear grandma.
I baked a nice angel's
fruit cake
for you little devils.
Just a second, granny.
I better inspect out
their tasty treat.
Just in case, you by chance,
baked a file into it.
Oh, sheriff, how could you
think such a thing?
You can't be too careful around
desperate criminals, ma'am.
chomp chomp chomp
With Sheriff Huck on the job
nobody's gonna pull a fast one.
chomp chomp chomp
Well, there's no file
in this here cake.
Oh, I must be on my way, boys.
Bye-bye, grandma.
Hold it. Hold it!
You can't get away
with this, Daltons.
Uh, get away with what, sheriff?
Having your granny
bring you a cake
and not kissin' her goodbye.
Well, that's, uh,
quite alright, sheriff.
No, I insist.
Now, pucker up.
Ah-ha, blech, blech.
Kinda touchin', ain't it?
Don't worry a bit, ma'am.
Your grandsons will be outta
jail in another 99 years.
Or even sooner, sheriff.
Uh, toodle-oo.
What a nice, old lady.
Too bad she's got
such rotten granny sons.
If them there holes
are any indication
them rotten granny sons
has just escaped.
Oh, sheriff!
I got one last present for ya.
Five hundred head of cattle
with free delivery.
rumble rumble rumble
This calls
for some fast thinkin'.
rumble rumble rumble
Nyah nyah! I guess we showed
Sheriff Yuckle Huckle
who's boss.
Duh, we squished him
like an itty-bitty beetle bug.
That's what he gets for being
such a rotten dresser.
And look, Stinky..
We still got Skunkleberry's
gold nugget.
Uh, not to mention, his free
complimentary-type pen.
With that pesky sheriff
out of the way
we'll win the West.
Little do the Daltons realize
that while them cattle
was tramplin' my office
I ducked down
into the rumpus room
for a quick game of pool.
But now, it's time to catch up
with them outlaws.
And to assist me,
I will need my faithful horsie.
Oh, faithful horsie.
I will chase them Daltons
to the end of the earth.
And not rest until
they are brung to justice.
Even if it means being
a tad late for supper tonight.
By the time we're finished
we'll own the entire US of A.
Well, bust my bridges.
I can't believe it.
It's that mysterious,
et cetera, et cetera.
There's nothing
like an exciting chase
to keep you on the edge
of your saddle.
Oh, I hate him.
He gives the chilly-willies.
That blue hound dog's
nothin' but trouble.
Let's lose him.
Whoa! Not that fast!
That's better.
That ought to do it.
He'll never catch up
with us now.
Excuse me,
but you boys are going
a squinch over the speed limit
and I'm gonna have
to give y'all a ticket.
Well, boys, we won't be seeing
that pesky sheriff no more.
Tickets, tickets please.
You fellas got tickets
to ride this here train?
Well, boys, he'll never
find us down here.
You wanna bet on that?
This here chase just gets
more exciting by the minute.
- Uh, where in the heck are we?
- Who cares?
Just so's we gave
that no-good sheriff
the slip, once andfor all.
So nice of you to drop in.
What a relief.
For a second there,
we thought you
was gonna be that pesky sheriff.
Fooled you, didn't I?
Hold it!
What are we afraid of?
There's four of us
and just one of him.
We've got him outnumbered.
You know, I was hoping they'd
never figure that one out.
'Let's get him!'
Looks like I am gonna be a tad
late for supper, after all.
Prepare for launch!
You know, this here rocket ride
could postpone
my buying that
goat and pig farm.
Start the countdown!
Duh, ten, nine, eight..
Perhaps my faithful horsie,
can come to the rescue.
', eleven, twenty-nine..'
Duh, what comes after 29?
- Six.
- Oh, yeah.
Six, five, twelve..
'...four, ninety-nine,
six, eleven..'
'...three, two, one.'
Blast off!
That mysterious steely-eyed
and silent-type stranger
won't be bothering us no more.
Looks like my faithful horsie
is gonna be too late.
'So long, Huck!'
For those of you just joining us
our story began in 1849 with a cry..
...and everybody headed West.
'Out West,
us outlaws was in charge.'
I'm Finky.
I'm Pinky.
- I'm Dinky.
- And I'm Stinky.
We is the Golden Gang!
But Stinky Dalton was arrested..
Ninety days.
...and thrown in jail.
I was framed.
Meanwhile, Finky, Dinky and Pinky went to..
Two Bit Californei.
Mayor Hokey presiding.
Not to mention freezing.
Boob and I,
we're in town to chow down.
Well, everyone else was..
Having fun
at Rusty Nail Saloon.
Especially them Daltons.
And in the town came..
A mysterious, steely-eyed
and silent-type stranger.
I'm gonna cash in
this here gold nugget
buy me a quaint country farm
and raise goats and pigs.
But Finky won the gold nugget
fair and square
in a game of Crazy Ace.
'I've got six aces.'
But Huck accused the Daltons of..
- Cheatin'.
- Cheatin'?
A fight ensued, with Huck declared the winner.
Meet Betsy.
Later, Huck deposited his nugget
in the Two Bit National Bank.
But we stole that nugget!
Along with Huckleberry's
free complimentary-type pen.
Sound the alarm.
"At that very moment,
Stinky Dalton--
"Escaped from jail
and headed toward Two Bit..
Where he's gonna go
gunnin' for the mayor."
Unless we have a sheriff.
Hi, y'all.
Howdy, sheriff?
Huck started cleaning up the town..
I do not do windows.
...while the Daltons' crime spree took an ugly turn.
Now they've gone too far.
Huck asked the Daltons to..
Give yourselves up.
I'll take that to mean "No."
But finally, that sheriff
threw us into pokey.
So us townsfolk celebrated
the capture of the Daltons.
For he's
a jolly good sheriff
Who Stinky is gonna smash
And showered me
with lovely parting gifts.
I was heading to town
to eliminate that sheriff.
But I knew I could count
on my dearest and closest
friends for help.
Then again, maybe not.
Stinky arrived on the noon train..
To give that sheriff
some bang-up presents.
Duh, but then our big brother..
Helped us escape.
After which we cattle
trampled Huck's office.
But I survived
and I pursued them Daltons.
But we bushwhacked
that pesky sheriff.
'Took him to Cape Dalton'
'And blasted him
in outer space.'
'We now continue'
'with the good, the bad'
'and the late, great'
'Huckleberry Hound!'
With that pesky sheriff
out of the way
nobody's gonna stop
our dastardly deeds.
Like horse thieving.
And stagecoach robbin'.
Duh, and holdin' up trains.
We're rich, rich, rich!
Duh, the richest outlaws
in all the West.
And soon we'll be the richest
outlaws in all the world!
Gold gold gold
Gold gold gold
All we ever talk
about is gold
We wear it on our fingers
on our arms
And around our necks
We're the richest
outlaws in the world
By half
Gold gold gold
Gold gold gold
All we ever think
about is gold
Our teeth are gold
our hair is gold
We even cry gold tears
We're so filled up
full of gold
They comin' out our ears
Our swimming pool
is full of gold
We're rich just like I said
But diving off
that springboard is sure
Hard on the head
Gold gold gold
Gold gold gold
All we ever
want more of is gold
We know we are not needy
And we do not
think we're greedy
But we want lots more gold
Gold gold gold
Gold gold gold
We want lots more gold
- 'First things first.'
- Huh?
It's high time we changed
the name of this Two Bit Town.
Duh, yeah, to Dinkyville.
No! Pinkyville.
No way! Finkyville.
I say it's Stinkyville.
But we compromised
and changed the name to..
Tahiti sure was a nice place
for a vacation getaway.
But be it ever so humble
there's no place
like home, sweet home.
You bet.
It's great to be back
in good old..
What gives?
It must be a misprint.
This may qualify for an episode
of "The Twilight Zone."
'Finky Dalton's Saloon?'
'Dinky Dalton's National Bank?'
'Pinky Dalton's barber shop
and boutique?'
'Stinky Dalton's the mayor?'
'I demand a recount.'
And he's the sheriff too.
Looks like bad luck.
I wonder what happened to Huck.
We sent him to the moon.
'And you quitters
are trespassin' on Dalton turf.'
B-b-but this here is our town.
No, it ain't, horse face.
This is our town now.
And we don't want you
furry types around here no more.
So, we're giving you
a one-way ticket out of town.
First class, I hope.
That's a fine "How do you do."
Kicked out of our own town.
'I guess we only
have ourselves to blame.'
'How right you are.'
Huck asked for our help
to beat the Daltons
but we turned him down.
PoorSenor Huckleberries.
Looks like we'll never see
that mysterious, steely-eyed
and silent-type stranger again.
Where are you off to,
Desert Flower?
For a walk through
the valley, father.
I won't be long.
W-where am I?
Why, I-I must be in heaven.
Why do you say that,
mysterious bluehombre?
'Cause you
are a beautiful angel.
I am much obliged
for your kindness
Miss, uh, um..
They call me Desert Flower.
Your name's almost
as pretty as your face.
And what is your name,
mysterious blue hombre?
My name?
Why, uh, it's, um, uh..
Shuckins, I, I can't rember.
Then I shall call you
the Mysterious Blue Hombre..
...with Amnesia.
Well, I best be moseying along.
No, you must rest.
And I will tend to you
until you are well.
Oh, well, in that case
I kinda hope
I never get better.
That stranger has been
here long enough.
It's time he moved on.
Oh, I think Desert Flower
would disagree.
What are you saying?
'Can't you see?
They're in love.'
But he's of us.
He is blue.
Love has no color
to Desert Flower.
She sees not with her eyes,
but with her heart.
And I will not permit
her heart to be broken.
Desert Flower, there's somethin'
heavy on my mind.
What is it, Mysterious
Blue Hombre With Amnesia?
Well, uh, um..'s kinda hard
to put into words.
But maybe this here song
will explain how I feel.
By the light
Of the silvery moon
I want to swoon
Oh with my honey
I'll croon love's tune
Honey moon
Keep on shinin' in June
Ba-ba-ba boom
Your silvery beams
will bring love dreams
We'll be cuddlin' soon
By the silvery moon
Your silvery beams
will bring love dreams
We'll be cuddlin' soon
Ba-ba-ba boom
By the silvery moon
In other words, Desert Flower
um, will you marry me?
Oh, Mysterious Blue Hombre
With Amnesia
of course I will.
That is, if my father
will allow it.
Absolutely not!
You cannot marry
this Blue Hombre.
Why, you don't even
know his name.
He doesn't even know his name.
On account of, I have amnesia,
Mr. Chief, sir.
But I love him, father
and he loves me.
Sure is shootin',
Mr. Chief, sir.
My answer is still no.
Desert Flower, you cannot
marry outside the tribe.
Of course, if the Blue Hombre
wanted to join the tribe..
I'll do it.
Anything to win
your daughter's hand.
Very well then.
Tomorrow morning we shall start
the initiation test.
Oh, this is awful.
What's wrong, Desert Flower?
No one has ever survived
the initiation test.
May be so, but there's
got to be a first time.
To join our tribe, the Blue
Hombre must pass two tests.
First, a test of intelligence.
I knew, I should've
done my homework.
And second,
a test of strength.
I was the run at the litter
but you got nothin'
to worry about.
Failure at either of
these tests means
a long walk off a short cliff.
Now you can start worryin'.
It's time for the Wild West's
favorite quiz show.
"Stump the Blue Hombre."
And now, here's your host,
Laughing Donkey.
Hey, thank you.
You're beautiful.
I see we have some
bunch of buffalo in the crowd.
Let's give 'em a hand.
Now, let's meet
our three contestants.
'Educated Elk,
Scientific Skunk'
'and the Blue Hombre.'
Thank you,
thank you.
Our first question
for one hundred points.
'What did Columbus say
when he discovered America?'
'Blue Hombre?'
Golly, I'm lost on this one.
'That's right,
for one hundred points!'
Hmm, lucky guess.
Our next question.
'What did the pilgrims say
when they tasted the turkey'
'at the first Thanksgiving?'
'Blue Hombre?'
Hmm, that's tough.
for another hundred points.'
I don't believe it.
Let's see him answer this!
And now,
our final bonus question
for three hundred points.
'What did Benjamin Franklin
say when he discovered a crack'
'in the Liberty Bell?'
'Blue Hombre?'
You know, I do believe
this here thingamajig is busted.
'Absolutely correct!'
Which makes the Blue Hombre,
our big winner!
You might have survived
this challenge
but you shall fail
the test of strength.
And now, the second test.
The Blue Hombre shall wrestle
our fellow tribesman
Chuckling Chipmunk.
Sounds like a
rat-friendly feller to me.
I give you
Chuckling Chipmunk.
Let the match begin.
Been nice knowin' you,
Desert Flower.
It's a pleasure to meet you,
Chuckling Chipmunk.
the feelin' ain't mutual.
Looks like I'm gonna
have to use some strategy.
Pretty clever of me, ain't it?
clang clang clang
He didn't hurt me a teensy bit.
Well, maybe
one teensy-weensy bit.
Ain't that cute?
Little old toy tow-truck.
I might admit,
that laugh of his
is startin' to get
on my nerves.
Chuckling Chipmunk,
I must warn you that
I am an expert
at hand-to-hand..
I win.
And you lose, Blue Hombre
which means you're finished.
Oh, no.
Desert Flower!
Help! Help!
- Daughter!
- My baby!
Don't worry, folks,
I'll save her.
Help! H-help!
'Help! Help!'
Help! Help!
'Help! Help!'
Anytime you need a hand,
Desert Flower, just holler.
Although, you failed
the initiation test
you have proven your love
for my daughter.
It goes with the territory
of being a mysterious
Blue Hombre, Mr. Chief, sir.
Just call me dad.
Uh-uh, uh, you mean..
That's right, son,
you have my present
to marry Desert Flower.
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here to join
'Desert Flower and the
Blue Hombre in holy matrimony.'
If anyone has any reason
that these two should not be wed
speak now or
forever hold your peace.
Stop the weddin'!
At last, I found you.
I've been searchin'
everywhere for you, Huck.
Huck? Who's Huck?
Why, you're Huck.
Huckleberry Hound.
Don't you remember?
Shazaam, he's right,
that's me.
It's all coming back now.
And you're my faithful horsie.
But I didn't know
you could talk.
How come you never said
nothin' before?
Everything's been okay uptill now.
But the Daltons
have taken over Two Bit.
The Daltons?
Why, them's the outlaws
that stole my free complimentary-type pen.
It's time I taught
those boys a lesson.
But, Blue Hombre,
what about our wedding?
Desert Flower, I have some
unfinished business to attend to
will you wait for me?
Why, as long as it takes,
my Blue Hombre.
Hi-ho, faithful horsie, away.
Huck, could you please stop
callin' me "Faithful horsie?"
-'Why is that?'
- Because my name is Bob.
Huck, you're gonna need
some help to stop them Daltons.
Too bad my pals in Two Bit
are too chicken to pitch in.
You're pals ain't in
Two Bit no more.
The Daltons booted 'em out.
Where'd they go to,
faithful horsie?
Uh-uh, I mean, Bob.
It's a sad story,
I'm afraid.
'They really hit the skins.'
Step right up, ladies and gents,
for Hokey's Wild West Circus.
The greatest show
to ever hit town.
I just hope the town
doesn't hit back.
Poor Hokey seems down
on his luck.
Quick Draw and Baba Looey
aren't much better.
Giddy up, you dumb horse.
Yeah, move it,
you dopey donkey.
Wooh, my achin' sacroiliac.
Si, Quick Draw, I only wish
these children would thin down.
Now, hold on there.
I'll do the thinnin'
around here, Baba Looey
and don't you forget it.
Sort of pathetic,
ain't it?
Well, wait till you
check out the center ring.
How demoralizing!
An audience of one?
And my luck,
the kid's get a great arm.
Exit, with egg on my face,
stage left.
This is downright depressing.
Shee, they really work us
at this circus.
I don't know how
it could be worser.
Look at the bears,
look at the bears.
Now I know.
We better get out of here, Yogi.
I'm with you, Boo Boo,
let's skidoo.
Your pals have
hit rock bottom.
You're right, Bob
but maybe I can show them
how to dig their selves out.
'How much cash money type profit
did we make today, Hokey?'
Profit? Are you kidding?
Our dissatisfied customers
demanded double their
money back.
None of this would've happened
if we'd stayed in Two Bit.
And thought them no-good
ornery Daltons a lesson.
Hello, what's this?
A letter, a mail delivery,
no less.
"To whomsoever it may concern.
"Miss your hometown of Two Bit?
Want to win it back?
"Come on, come all to a once-in-
a-lifetime secret-type meeting.
"Midnight tonight.
"At Last Chance Ravine.
Act now, uh, don't delay.
Signed, the Blue Hombre."
And who pray tell
is the Blue Hombre, anyhoo?
I have nary an idea
but I vote we go for this
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
I'm with you, Quick Draw.
That Blue Hombre sure picked a
creepy place to hold a meeting.
I just wish
he'd show his face
so we could get out
of this place.
Heavens of hallucinations!
What was that?
Look, Quick Draw.
'It's the ghost
of Huckleberry Hound.'
Leave us exit,
stage out of here.
Hold on, folks,
Huckleberry Hound is no ghost.
I am alive and well.
Then what's with
the spooky get-up?
I just wanted to see
if I could fool you.
It's all part of my plan
to teach them Daltons a lesson.
'Once before, I asked you
for help and you left me dyin'.'
I'm gonna ask you one more time.
Do it for yourselves, do it for
your friends, do it for Two Bit.
But how do we infiltrate
With a little help
from some old pals
Rusty Nails and Red Eye.
And Huck's faithful horsie, Bob.
Well, boys, what do you say?
- We say, all for one..
- One for all..
'And everybody for Two Bit.'
Stinky Dalton is a guy
who can't be beat
He's stinkier than
anyone you meet
Don't come in to his casino
He's a low-down
no-good meano
Stinky Dalton
is a dirty rotten sheep
That's my favorite tune..
...and that's
my favorite drink.
Why, I'm the meanest,
rotten-est dude in all the West.
Oh,contre, Mr. Stink
there's one dude who's even
meaner and rotten-er than you.
But that can't be.
I'm afraid so, boss.
Just take a look at this here
movie clip and see for yourself.
'Hit the lights, Rusty.'
'He came from out of the past.'
'His goal, to punish the law
breakers for their evil deeds.'
'Those who are guilty, beware!'
'You're about to meet
the meanest, rotten-est dude'
'on the face of the earth.'
'And he is not alive.'
'He's the ghost
of Huckleberry Hound.'
It's that icky Yuckleberry.
Duh, I thought we gave him
a rocket ride to the moon.
We did and now he's come back
as a gh-gh-ghost.
Pipe down, you guys,
it's only a movie.
Besides, there ain't
no such things as ghosts.
'Yes, there is.'
'It's the ghost
of Huckleberry Hound'
'and he's arriving
in Daltonville'
'by tonight's midnight train.'
But there ain't
no midnight train.
'The midnight ghost train.'
'Be afraid. Be very afraid.'
Going down the lines
of wickedy-trickedy track
A ghostly train was rolling
on the little track
A mysterious steely-eyed
and silent-type
Is coming back
Boogie woogie
Boogie woogie
You thought he died
Boogie woogie
Boogie woogie
No place to hide
Boogie woogie
Boogie woogie
He's coming to catch you
Boogie woogie
Boogie woogie
Boogie woogie
Boogie woogie
A spirit has risen up
from the ground
No way to stop him
he's Two Bit bound
The creepy crawler
icky-yackey hak hak hak
Huckleberry Hound
Boogie woogie
Boogie woogie
You thought he died
Boogie woogie
Boogie woogie
No place to hide
Boogie woogie
Boogie woogie
He's coming to catch you
Boogie woogie
Boogie woogie
Boogie woogie
Boogie woogie
Boogie woogie
Boogie woogie
Well, crew,
according to the time table
the Daltons should be seein' our
spooky movie right about now.
I just hope
the ghost-train routine
gives 'em the creepy crawlies.
We'll find out soon enough.
Here comes our choo-choo, now.
All aboard for Daltonville.
You alright, Huck?
Sure thing, Bob.
Just thinkin' about
somebody special.
Be patient, father,
he said he'd come back.
I'll give him another half-hour,
and that's it.
Uh, 11:59.
One more minute till
the gh-gh-ghost train arrives.
And that means
the end of the D-Daltons.
Uh, no, it don't.
'Cause, I'm gonna blow up
that Huckleberry's ghost.
Uh, but, y-you can't
blow the ghost.
'Cause they're already dead.
It's midnight.
'There, the ghost train,
i-it's coming.'
Please, Stinky, let's leave town
while we still can.
Please, please, please,
please, please.
Ah, quit your bawlin',
you cry babies.
You just leave the ghost
of Huckleberry Hound to me.
Ho-owdy, Daltons?
It's him! It's, it's, it's--
The ghost
of Huckleberry Ho-ound.
I don't believe in ghosts.
B-b-but in your case,
I, I'll make an exception.
This smoke ought
to give 'em a scare.
Our apologies to
Smokey the Bear. Hee-yay.
These blinding light bulbs
are a bright idea, Quick Draw.
You said it, Baba Looey.
Come on, you two, I want chills
running up their spine.
What do you want?
I'm gonna haunt you
for the rest of your lives.
No, no, uh, anything but that.
Well then, maybe we can
make a deal.
A deal? Wha-wha-whatever
you want, just name it.
Handover the gold nugget
you Daltons stole from me.
Here, Stinky,
just give it to him.
One g-gold nugget,
Mr. G-Ghost, sir.
Much obliged.
So, everything's
hunky-dory now, huh?
I mean,
w-we're even-steven, right?
Not on your life, Stinky.
I got one more demand.
Anything, anything at all.
You will pay your debt to
society and go directly to jail.
No ghost can make us Daltons
go to jail.
Maybe not.
But we can.
Let's get out of here!
Run for your life!
Them Daltons can run,
but they can't hide.
You said it, Quick Draw.
Let's head to our
secret hideout, boys.
They'll never find us here.
That's what he thinks.
We've been had!
In more ways than one.
You see, I'm still alive.
On behalf of the people
of Californei
I wanna thank you for
finally capturing the Daltons.
My pleasure, Mr. Governor
but I couldn't have done it
without the help of my friends.
Excuse me, Mr. Huck,
can I have your autograph?
Why, sure, little feller.
Oh, Daltons.
What do you want now?
My free complimentary-type pen,
if you please?
Duh, rat, he rembered.
There you go, little feller.
Now, do you know what the moral
of this here story is?
Always take that trip to Tahiti
instead of the free pen?
Well, that's true.
But also, crime does not pay.
Looks like our troubles
are over, gang.
Let's head on home to Two Bit.
I'm afraid that's one trip
I'm gonna have to miss.
What do you mean,Senor Huck?
Yeah, where're you goin'?
I got me a weddin'
to attend, my own.
You fellers take care now.
Giddy up, Bob.
Your silvery beams
will bring love dreams
We'll be cuddlin' soon
By the silvery moon
Ba-ba-ba moon
And so, after thwarting
the dastardly Daltons
our heroes went their separate ways.
Snagglepuss set out for Broadway
and became the toast of the town.
Alas, poor Yogi,
I knew him well.
Quick Draw became the new sheriff of Two Bit
with Baba Looey as his faithful deputy.
Another peaceful-type day
in the Old West.
Mayor Hokey opened the first used
covered-wagon dealership.
Hiya, friends, Hokey Wolf here.
And have I got
a bargain for you!
Along with Boo Boo,
Yogi Bear returned to Jellystone Park
where he'd go for picnic baskets
and proved himself to be..
Smarter than the average bear.
Look at the bears,
look at the bears.
As for Huck, he married Desert Flower.
- I do.
- I do.
And the two love birds settled down
on a quaint country farm.
Where they raised
goats and pigs.
And a family.
And we all lived
happily ever after.