The Goose and the Gander (1935) Movie Script

Bob.
Let's go in the water.
- I'd like to.
Want to come, Summers?
Hadn't you better wait for your husband?
My brother does not like
Betty going in without him.
He dislikes my getting over my depth.
You'd better come along then, Arthur.
For Ralph's peace of mind.
He's stuffing cotton in his ears.
Can you imagine anything viler than
Ralph sending him to watch me?
Not going far out, are you?
Any possible hope of your drowning?
Eh?
Maybe if you'd stuff up your eyes
too my life may be worth living.
Before we go in and ruin
that beautiful ocean ..
There's something I must say to you.
- Eh?
My husband is arrogant, conceited
and unreasonably jealous.
But the meanest trick
he ever played on me.
Was being born into a family ..
That contained a miserable,
eavesdropping tattle-tale like you.
Oh yes. Of course.
Come on, Bob.
Let's take it out and swamp it.
That's the last time
he'll ever follow us.
I tell you.
I can't take it any longer. If you won't
take me away somewhere I'll go alone.
Darling, I couldn't let
you do anything like that.
He takes the train for town tonight.
After he leaves, we'll grab my
car and beat it up to Hillcrest.
No. We'd better take your car.
We'll decide that later.
Me and you sneak off to Hillcrest alone?
Why not? He won't be home
until Monday morning.
All we must do is get home ahead of him.
- That's all?
Watched the way you are.
Yes. Watched as I am.
I'll have my fling and
I will get away with it.
Just for the satisfaction of doing it.
- My dear.
You are crazy.
I thought you loved me.
Yes. Of course, but ..
Well, will you come to Hillcrest?
I suppose so.
I thought you would.
After that, I suppose
if I don't get shot ..
And you get a divorce,
we might get married.
Don't leave.
Cocktails come at ten-thirty.
Just about the time that I
will be catching my train.
Must you go to town, dear?
- You know perfectly well I must go.
But I had so many things
planned for tomorrow.
Will my going change your plans any?
It's possible.
Even probable.
It seems to me you're very difficult
to understand this evening.
Do you ever understand me?
I sometimes wonder.
Might I have this dance?
Love to.
I've been waiting for
the chance to tell you.
She was out on the raft with young
McNear most of the afternoon.
He's innocuous enough.
No man is harmless with Betty.
He's not her type.
What is her type?
Well. She married me, didn't she?
That young Barkley pup.
He's been emulating me ever
since my football days.
Now he's even started
to imitate my walk.
And he's patronising my tailor.
Of course, I might understand.
It's just a bit of hero-worship.
But when he gets excited about my wife
that's going a bit far, don't you think?
Yes.
Yes I do.
- I think so too.
Just the same. You better keep
an eye on them this weekend.
And likewise.
What a pretty color.
Forgive me.
- No. It's my fault.
I've ruined your shirt.
- No. Your cocktail is more important.
Stop fooling with strangers.
Here. Here are your cups of peace.
Thanks.
May I?
- Of course.
Peace between us.
War might be more exciting.
Thank you.
You did that on purpose.
I just wanted to see what he was like.
He's nice.
Come over tomorrow and maybe
you'll meet him on the beach.
No. He is partial to rafts.
Besides, I think he has other plans.
Hello.
Hello Bobby.
How are you?
- How do you do.
Shall we ..
Ralph, Let's dance.
You haven't asked me once tonight.
Well, I am tired.
I played two rounds of golf.
Well, I didn't.
What did you do then?
Come on, Bobby. Let's dance.
- Love to.
Georgiana.
Ralph.
Where did you drop from?
I say, old man. Do you mind
if I cut in for a minute?
He used to be my husband, Teddy.
We haven't met since then.
Well, if you're all washed up.
I'll take a chance and be generous.
Thank you.
Georgiana, you look beautiful tonight.
I've never seen you looking so lovely.
Two years has done that.
Is it really that long we've been apart?
Are you quite sure we didn't
just wander in here together?
The same old Ralph, aren't you.
I've not changed much, have I?
Not a bit.
Look. Let's get out of here and
go somewhere where we can talk.
Would you like a drink?
- No thanks.
You know, I can't understand why
I haven't run across you before.
I've been here a month.
Aunt Julia and I have a lodge
back in the mountains.
We don't come down often.
- I see.
Georgiana.
Have you forgiven me?
I have only the friendliest
feelings towards you.
I suppose that means that ..
- I am over it.
Not altogether perhaps.
Isn't that nice of me?
At the time I honestly felt I was doing
the best thing for both of us.
You know.
When I got your letter in Paris asking
me stay over until the divorce ..
I didn't know quite what to make of it.
- I must have been out of my mind.
It was quite apparent that this woman
who was out to marry you had you going.
At least you might have come
over so we could talk things over.
Then it wouldn't have had the appearance
of such an out-and-out snatch.
Well.
It's all washed up now
and everybody's happy.
You're happy I hope.
Come now. This won't do.
Can't you forget just for one
moment that I'm married?
Not for a moment. It's too
exciting being the other woman.
Georgiana.
What's the idea?
I'm sorry, Mr Summers.
A couple of crooks have been working
the hotel and casino for the past month.
We have to watch the dark corners.
Forget it.
We'd better go back.
- No. Not like this.
Well.
I have no reason to like your wife.
In fact, I never even laid eyes on her.
Don't hurt her the way you hurt me.
Come along, Ralph.
Georgiana, I can't lose
track of you again.
I'm going back tonight.
I shall come and see you.
- No you won't.
Does that mean you're washed up with me?
Quite. But I'll always be fond of you.
Kiss me goodbye then.
- No.
Once was quite enough.
Come on.
There she is now.
- Which one?
The one over there in the
black-and-white dress.
So that's the young lady
who snatched you.
Who's the man?
One Bob McNear.
I know the name. New York?
- Yes.
Let's go back to the terrace, Ralph.
Oh yes.
I hope your husband is
as dumb as you think.
Hadn't you noticed? I've been
flirting with every man I meet.
I've ceased to be impressed
by your lifelong habits.
Now, if I let you come to see me.
Would you tell her about it?
- No. I don't think so.
You see, Betty's the old-fashioned kind.
She may not be reasonable.
She is the old-fashioned kind?
- Yes.
You will let me come though, won't you?
I stay back in the mountains.
On the road to Hillcrest.
At a place called Twin Pines.
- Twin Pines.
The filling station man at Twin Pines
can show you the road.
It's wonderful of you, Georgiana.
I expect you for lunch tomorrow.
Promptly at noon.
Yes. To be quite honest with you.
Instead of telling Betty, I'll play
a harmless little trick on her.
You will play a harmless trick on her?
- Yes.
You see, I go up to town
by the train tonight.
But at midnight I'll get off that
train and get on the other train.
That returns in the morning.
Then I'll motor up to your place and
Betty will still think I'm in town.
Run along. You'll be missed.
Until tomorrow then.
And by the way.
If your wife has seen us together
don't tell her who I am.
I get you perfectly.
- Do you?
Alright then. Run along.
- Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Pearls.
- Whose?
No idea.
Where's Johnny?
- At the bar.
Say goodbye to him for me.
- I certainly will.
Come in everybody.
Make yourselves comfortable.
Send a boy up for my bags please.
Thank you.
I hate to see you leaving us, Georgiana.
- I hate to go.
I'm not crazy about seeing you drive
up into the mountains alone tonight.
Nonsense. I've done it often enough.
I think I have everything.
Why can't you stay over until Sunday?
There will be big doings up in the
mountains this Sunday, my lad.
Come in.
Take these things down and put them in
my car. It should be round the front.
When do you come back?
I don't know. Boy.
I want you to do something for me.
Get the license numbers on the cars of
Mrs Ralph Summers and Mr Robert McNear.
Put them on a card and give
it to me when I come down.
Yes, ma'am. Thank you.
The emerald?
I got to have it.
Psst. Lawrence.
Careful now. Drive slowly.
Here you are, ma'am.
- Thanks.
Shall I call you in town tomorrow?
I'm not quite sure just where I'll be.
I'd better call you.
And I suppose as a matter of course ..
I'm to be hungrily waiting
beside the telephone?
All aboard.
Just what will you be doing?
Shall we just trust each other
with a beautiful blind faith?
Alright. But I'll find out when
I get back Monday morning.
What time will you be back Monday?
- I don't know.
Darling. You forgot to kiss me.
Will you get my bag?
It's in the rumble seat.
Right.
Leaving your car here?
- I told the garage man to pick it up.
I missed the train. Bring the bags.
We must ditch this car.
I knew you'd pull one job
too many in this town.
I had to have that emerald.
Never saw one like it. We take this car.
Is the key there?
- Yes. Lucky for us.
Which way are we going?
Up in the mountains.
They'll follow by the coast route.
Seems I did a while ago.
- That's funny.
Mrs Summers called a few minutes ago
and asked me to pick it up on this spot.
I don't know anything about that.
This is it. Say, buddy.
See anyone near this car?
It belongs to Mrs Summers.
- What's the number?
It has a New York license.
8-3-5 ..
Here comes one now.
Show me the card she gave us.
Listen. This ain't so good.
- A hundred dollars ain't so good?
If this is the car you know what to do.
Heading for Hillcrest?
Why?
They got smallpox.
It's under quarantine.
Oh. What a narrow escape.
Suppose we ..
- Shush.
Of course I ain't stopping you.
I'm just telling you.
Well, turn around quick and get back.
Thanks for the warning.
- How you fixed for gas?
Plenty.
That's funny.
We need some. Better fill it up.
Out of luck. All out. We're bone dry.
Closed up until Monday.
Monday?
But we have to get home before my ..
Kinda up against it, ain't you?
- There must be a place to get gas.
Tell you what to do.
There's a lodge half a mile down the
side road. Maybe they'll help you.
They'll have to.
- Sure. They're nice people.
That road will take
you right to the gate.
Thanks.
What if we can't get gas?
We will.
I knew we would get into a jam.
Don't worry. You'll be back at
the beach in a couple of hours.
I'd be there now if it weren't for you.
You talked me into this.
Anyhow, you didn't talk me out of it.
It's the same thing.
- Quite.
Suppose that man hadn't stopped us and
we'd gone there and gotten smallpox?
That would have been fine.
Then you could have gone home
and given it to your husband.
I'd give it to him myself
if I weren't vaccinated.
You needn't defend my husband.
He'd know what to do in a fix like this.
He should.
He's been in enough of them.
That is a vile slander.
That is what I thought
when you began on him.
Well.
Here we are.
[ Dogs barking ]
Cheer up. Maybe they'll bite me.
[ Door knocks ]
It's for you, aunt Julia.
You prompt me.
I'm terribly sorry to bother
you but we're out of gas.
There's a gas station down ..
- They're out of gas too.
We were heading for Hillcrest but
there's a smallpox quarantine.
How awkward.
You see, we must get down
the mountain tonight.
Who is it, aunt Julia?
I am Robert McNear.
- Ask Mr McNear and his wife to come in.
Won't you and Mrs McNear
come in and wait?
Thank you.
Is it safe?
Of course, aunt Julia.
It's just a young man and his wife.
How do we know he's not some
terrible gangster with his ..
His 'moll'.
They asked us to come in.
- It might mean a drink.
I think I told them we were married.
- That was bright.
They look like people who
might expect us to be.
It will only be for a moment anyway.
- Alright.
It is monstrous getting you up.
Yes. We're terribly sorry.
My niece has gone for the chauffeur.
This is Mrs McNear.
How do you do?
I'm Mrs Hamilton. Sit down.
It's rather late to be driving
about in the mountains.
My wife and I were having
supper at the beach casino.
At ten o'clock she decided we
must spend the night at Hillcrest.
How do you do, Mrs McNear?
- How do you do?
Oh.
So. We meet again.
I'm Mrs Summers.
Summers?
Yes.
No. Not Mrs Ralph Summers?
The former Mrs Ralph Summers.
Do you know Ralph?
Yes. We've met.
Quite casually.
Ralph and I ran across each
other tonight at the casino.
Quite by accident.
Oh.
I'm strongly opposed to
divorced couples meeting.
I fancy you two will be
together for a long time.
Jones, is the car filed?
- I can't find the chauffeur, ma'am.
Tell me where the gas is. I'll fill it.
- It isn't that, sir.
We keep the gas in the
cistern underground.
The chauffeur has the pump key.
That means no gas until morning.
- Until morning?
You must wait. Let us put you up.
- Oh no.
Nothing else for it.
- We can't do that.
We couldn't impose.
- You're not imposing at all.
Jones, get their bags.
- No.
I'll check the icebox and find some
food for you. You must be starved.
Nice of you, but ..
You don't know what a laugh this
will be for aunt Julia and me.
Isn't it, dear?
You're better off here than you
would be at that awful Hillcrest.
Oh no.
The west room, Jones.
We have to go.
- Yes.
You can't. You've no gas.
It's a one-way route to the summit
or I wouldn't have stopped.
Just in time. We was closing.
Fill her up.
- Alright.
Say, it's the other one.
Funny. Mrs Summers only expected one.
But which one?
We're taking no chances on losing
that hundred bucks. Get busy.
What's holding us up?
- Listen.
There's a smallpox
quarantine at Hillcrest.
Right. We're not stopping at Hillcrest.
Oh?
So what's the delay?
Looks like you're stopping here though.
What?
You're out of gas and so are we.
The tank must leak.
Where do we get some gas?
There's a lodge half a
mile down that side road.
I think they can fix you up.
Mrs Summers?
Yes?
If I am not presuming too much.
Mrs McNear and I are in the habit
of sleeping in separate rooms.
I think that's scandalous.
Julia.
Is the world coming to an end?
[ Door knocks ]
Now who is coming?
Good evening.
I'm in a predicament. I'm out of gas.
There's a gas station down the ..
- That station is in the same fix.
The station man sent me here.
He says there's a quarantine at
Hillcrest so I can't get any gas there.
Alright, Jones.
Good evening.
Did the gas station man send you here?
I thought you'd sell me enough
to make the next station.
I'm terribly sorry but all our
gas is locked up until morning.
That is awkward.
My wife is with me.
By all means, you must
bring in your wife.
That's very kind of you.
- Another pair is here in the same fix.
You can't stay out all night.
We have plenty of room.
Thank you.
My name is Thurston.
I'll bring in Mrs Thurston.
We're stuck here for the night.
Our name is 'Thurston'.
- Do we dare?
It's an out-of-the-way place.
Probably safer than traveling.
Why did the gas man send us that pair?
Well.
Get rid of them.
If we let those two go the other two
will wonder why they can't go.
This is Mrs Thurston.
- My aunt, Mrs Hamilton.
Hello.
Will you ask Mr and Mrs Thurston in?
- Won't you come in?
Thank you.
For no reason at all, after dinner we
decided to drive to a mountain resort.
It's why we're dressed this way.
That whim seems contagious this evening.
As a matter of fact my husband has
nothing to wear except what he has on.
In some way, during our frolicsome
departure my bag was left behind.
I'll take your bag up, sir.
- Don't bother.
If you don't mind ..
You know, Mrs Thurston.
When I first saw you I was sure
you were Betty Summers.
Really? I wonder why.
She was pointed out to me in the casino.
I doubt I know her.
Is there a resemblance?
Striking. Then when I saw
Betty Summers' car outside ..
I happen to know Mrs Summers' car.
Sure. I know you're not Ralph Summers
because I happen to be his first wife.
Oh.
Well, dear.
Perhaps we'd better admit the truth.
Whatever you think, Lawrence.
- You aren't mistaken, Mrs Summers.
This is Betty.
We've run away together in her car.
Oh!
You mean you're leaving Ralph?
I can't imagine what you
think of such proceedings.
Think? I think it's gorgeous.
- Really?
I always wanted you
to run away from Ralph.
You have?
Well.
That's certainly a relief.
Things fitting in so nicely.
It is miraculous.
No doubt Mr and Mrs McNear are
wondering what it's all about.
The wives of Summers are meeting for the
first time under bizarre circumstances.
Thanks for making it clear.
You're seeing it, aren't you?
Yes indeed.
Yes. From all angles.
It is thrilling.
But how will your husband take it?
- I'll manage Ralph.
I'll get you out of his reach very fast.
- Then you'll help us?
I'll do anything in
the world to help you.
You see. I still love Ralph.
I want him back.
- Oh.
Up to now, I've always
hated Betty Summers.
For what I thought was
snatching my husband.
I vowed that I would pay
her back in her own coin.
I was going to steal Ralph away
from her as she stole Ralph from me.
But you have forgiven me?
Of course I have.
Now I know I can have Ralph back again.
And I can have him too.
I sensed that this evening at
the casino when I saw him.
My dear, you can't imagine the awful
things I was going to do to you.
Really?
Well.
You see, I knew weren't behaving as
a wife who loved Ralph should behave.
Not quite.
I suspect there was some other
man and whoever he was ..
I was going to get you two and trap
you together and then expose you.
You're sufficiently aware of Ralph's
temper to know what he'd have done.
How fortunate it all
turned out as it did.
Yes. Isn't it?
The rooms are ready, Mrs Summers.
Thank you. I will show you up.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Anything you need, just ring.
There's a bell by each bedside.
Mr and Mrs McNear are in here.
Mr Summers and Mr Thurston
have the other two.
I say.
I'm a restless sleeper.
Would you mind very much
if we changed around?
We could take those two rooms in there.
But you forget.
They are just eloping.
They aren't married yet.
I'm sure you'll find this
room quite comfortable.
Your rooms are right around the corner.
Follow me please.
Goodnight.
Who are those two?
Evidently two crooks who stole your car.
Why don't you expose them?
- And expose ourselves?
Fine.
I wouldn't go in that room
with you for a million dollars.
Don't be a piker. I wouldn't go in
there with you for two million.
Is everything alright?
Lovely.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
You get out of here.
- Have some patience, can't you?
Let her get downstairs.
- Get out.
Anything you need?
No. Not a thing. I mean.
I think I have everything.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Please don't cry.
What do you expect me to do, laugh?
It has its humorous aspects.
- You idiot.
What are you going to do?
Soak my head. It aches.
What do you think I'll do, take a bath?
Stop it.
- Shush.
Do you want them to
think I'm beating you?
Don't do that.
Can't I brush my teeth?
No. Not here.
I wish you'd get out of here.
Alright. I will.
You can have your comfortable bed.
And even though I'm the
goat, I hope you rest well.
What does that mean?
Bob.
Do you think Georgiana
suspects who we are?
Of course not.
- I had the feeling downstairs.
She directed her talk right at me.
I wish you wouldn't go
around imagining things.
Then you noticed it too?
- Oh, rot.
She thought you're the other woman.
Suppose the whole thing is a trap.
Suppose she sends for Ralph?
Now wait a minute.
After all, the gas man sent us here.
He was bribed, I bet.
- Rot.
Anyway, she couldn't stop smallpox.
- Do we know there is any smallpox?
Well, we have the gas man's word for it.
That is great, isn't it.
What are you going to do about it?
Well.
I don't think it's quite time to ..
Resort to marriage.
I wouldn't marry you if ..
- You are wise.
Our present intimacy is a
revelation to profit by.
Come here.
Look. You can stay out there.
Me?
- Yes.
Why?
She can't say you were here all night.
Ha.
I should stay out there
all night and freeze?
I'll give you a blanket.
Go on. Get out, will you.
Alright.
Don't do that.
Here.
Thank you.
Goodnight.
Nice.
[ Dog barking ]
Good evening.
Are you really comfortable up there?
I didn't know a roof could be so cozy.
You can come down now if you like.
Well.
I thought the air up here
might help me to sleep.
Like a bird?
You see. I hadn't reckoned on the dog.
He's quite harmless.
I must introduce you to him sometime.
You alright?
- Oh yes.
And what a night to be out.
Yes it is, isn't it.
Look at those stars.
And the moon shining through the trees.
Like to take a stroll?
Alright.
[ Siren ]
It must be an ambulance on
the way down from Hillcrest.
Or perhaps a police car.
[ Siren ]
Lawrence, I'm frightened.
It's going away.
They won't think to come here.
Let's go.
This is the safest spot
to be in at present.
Lucky for us we weren't
out there on the road.
It's all over now.
Tomorrow morning the road will be clear.
Funny running into that couple when it
was her emerald that got us in this jam.
What can we do?
Just in case, we'd better plant those
jewels where they can't be found.
If the cops do come, they'd never
think to look in the owner's room.
Get the jewels out of the bag.
If I'm caught they'll be tucked
away for you somewhere.
Watch.
When I met you tonight at the
casino I felt we should meet again.
Isn't that strange?
I had the same feeling.
So I was hardly surprised when you and
Mrs McNear walked in this evening.
Yes. How things work out.
Yes.
Shall we start back?
- Please don't.
It's such a wonderful night out.
Besides, you're part of the enchantment.
In fact. All of it I think.
But I must not be.
- Why not?
You're forgetting Mrs McNear.
Oh yes.
Would it make a difference if I told you
that Mrs McNear and I will be separated?
In the morning.
For good.
Oh.
I am so sorry.
The separation is inevitable.
I don't think there's any harm if we
forgot it for a moment or so.
Do you?
I suppose not.
But I can't forget Ralph.
You still ..
I look forward so to
his coming tomorrow.
Here? Tomorrow?
Yes. He comes for luncheon.
- No, no. He must not.
Why?
Well.
I was just thinking about his wife.
You mean Betty?
- Yes.
Perhaps she'll get away
before he gets here.
Yes. She had better get away.
Oh yes.
We'd all better get an early start.
Do you feel that you must?
Well.
I'd rather not meet him.
I would rather carry away
the memory of tonight.
I hope it isn't just a memory.
Are you going upstairs or
will you stay out longer?
I think I will stay out.
- Well.
Goodnight.
You're wonderful.
Psst.
Goodnight.
What in the world ..
That crook who came in a stolen car.
Sneaked in here a minute ago and
hid these up the chimney. Look.
An emerald. A big emerald.
And pearls.
Aunt Julia.
They're mine.
Those two have been robbing the hotel.
What do we do?
Help me barricade this door.
Have you got it?
- Yes.
I knew he was a crook
the minute I saw him.
Bring those and put them here.
What did we bring those
people in here for?
Hello. What got you up so early?
The clerk said you just came in
the hotel and were down here.
Yes. I caught the 2 o'clock train
back this morning. I just got in.
But then ..
- No. I made a mistake.
I got mixed up with my dates.
Next week I have to see a man in town.
This week I must drive up the mountains
to look at a property with some fellow.
I see.
I didn't see any good in
waking Betty early, so I ..
I thought I would come
and clean up down here.
I just have time to grab my
breakfast and meet my man.
Then you didn't get my
telegram on the train?
Telegram? No. What telegram?
Betty hasn't been in her room all night.
What?
And her room has been robbed.
Her emerald has gone.
Emerald? Where was Betty?
She and McNear drove away
in his car the moment you left.
McNear was asking at the
garage about the road to ..
Hillcrest.
So. She sneaked off to
Hillcrest with that man.
Wait until I catch her.
I'll show her she can't drag the
name of Summers in the mud.
Wait until I get them.
You won't resort to violence?
- Violence? No, no.
Not until I get to Hillcrest.
You'd better come with me.
I need you as a witness.
Bob.
Oh. It's you.
Who did you think it was, Georgiana?
If you're so crazy about
her I'll go home alone.
You can stay here.
I believe she'd ask me if it
weren't for your husband.
Ha.
He is coming here for lunch.
What?
Today.
Bob, what does that mean?
It means the old gander is putting
over a fast one on little goosey.
Are you sure you want
to go through with this?
You can't stop me, aunt Julia.
Ralph will find out I'm here.
She took him away from me
but couldn't appreciate him.
I'll take him back.
Even if you don't want him?
- But I do.
I doubt it.
But I hate her.
Georgiana.
Here. Give it to me.
Wait.
I'll hide these jewels in
Betty Summers' suitcase.
If they come up I've slipped
out for a breath of air.
Be careful.
What's happened?
There's a roaring fire in the
fireplace and the jewels are gone.
They must know about us. We'd better go.
No. Not until I find those jewels.
I don't want to go down.
I'm too jittery.
Hold on, can't you.
Lawrence, let's please get away.
I cannot stand the strain any longer.
We stay here until I make our hostess
tell us where those jewels are. Come on.
Good morning.
- Morning.
You rested well, I hope.
- Marvelously well.
Do you like hot cakes and sausages?
- Yes. I'm simply starved.
Nothing like a good old
mountain appetite.
Good morning everybody.
- Good morning.
Sit right down.
Where are your eyebrows, young man?
Well, are they quite gone?
I was lighting a cigarette and
the matchbox blew up in my face.
Just drink your coffee.
I'm sure you'll feel better.
Thank you.
Mr Summers.
A terrible thing has happened.
The chauffeur went to Hillcrest
last night to a dance.
He has got smallpox.
- What?
That means we can't get gas.
It would do no good if you could, ma'am.
The health officer sent two deputies.
To put this house in
quarantine until he arrives.
They stand down at the gate now.
- We have to do something.
When will that officer be here, Jones?
Late this afternoon.
But I can't stay until then. We ..
A quarantine, is it?
I'm afraid you'll find that
awkward, Mrs Summers.
For me? Not at all.
Unless you mind being detained.
You must know we'll be
only too glad to stay.
As long as is necessary.
Twin pines.
Georgiana's place must be up that road.
I was to have stopped in for lunch.
Maybe I'd better drop in and
tell her I can't and why.
This is a nice time for
you to sit there.
Grinning like a Cheshire cat.
Sid down, my love.
You know, this quarantine is
the luckiest break we've had.
If we can't get out,
your husband sure can't get in.
Consequently, he can't have lunch
with the former Mrs Summers.
Consequently.
The first Mrs Summers can't talk of the
present Mrs Summers to her disadvantage.
Consequently, you may get home safely.
And take your husband to a distant point
where he can't get your actual number.
And incidentally.
You might give my overworked good
humor and nervous system a rest.
Very well.
If that's the way you feel about it.
Aren't the hydrangeas
beautiful in the spring.
These are chrysanthemums.
But do come out and see them.
Now that you're here I think I'll let
you relieve me of my knitting.
Well.
Your aunt certainly goes in
for knitting in a big way.
We sometimes have
queer visitors up here.
You mean the other couple?
I doubt Betty would run
away from Ralph like that.
No. She might skip off on
a harmless lark but ..
If it really is Betty she's got
herself in mighty bad company.
Anything wrong?
Those two arrived here last night
with a small fortune in jewelry.
I know it's stolen jewelry because ..
He must know that I've hidden them.
He wants to get me alone to
make me say where they are.
Lady, I shall stay by
your side indefinitely.
I'm sure Mrs McNear wouldn't mind.
Under the circumstances.
I beg your pardon.
- Hello.
I've taken up knitting.
- A nice way to while away the time.
I wonder, do you happen to have a cigar?
I have a cigar case in my bag.
- Would it be too much trouble?
Not at all.
Except the confounded thing is empty.
Thanks just the same.
I hope everything else was alright?
Quite. Thank you.
[ Dog barking ]
If it's the cops I'll
get the drop on them.
What's the name?
Summers. What's the idea?
Mr Ralph Summers?
- Yes.
Okay. Go ahead.
Well, that finishes us up.
Let's go home.
Arthur.
That's Betty's car.
Come on.
Stick 'em up.
Hey, what's the idea?
Keep quiet and everything
will be alright. Get in.
Upstairs.
You're sure you don't mind the pipe?
I rather like it.
Of course, I shan't need your
protection after Ralph comes.
Is that so?
Mrs Summers.
Yes?
- Will you marry me?
Why should I?
Because I'm in love with you.
But you already have a wife.
And I'm going to remarry Ralph.
Why?
To revenge yourself on
the other Mrs Summers?
She's gotten herself well
out of the picture, hasn't she.
Running off with a crook.
That woman is an imposter.
What?
The real Betty Summers
came here with me.
Mr McNear.
Yes. And you knew it all the time.
Well, you're both here together
and you cannot get away.
Ralph shall find you here.
Thank you very much for your
proposal of marriage, Mr McNear.
But I can't think of letting
you sacrifice yourself.
Even in a last minute
attempt to save your friend.
I forgot that wretched man.
If he ever catches you alone he'll
strangle you without compunction.
Ralph will soon settle
him when he gets here.
How will you feel when you've
busted Ralph away from Betty?
And you have to marry
him out of decency?
I want to marry Ralph.
Rats.
That's the price you pay for revenge.
But that's much too high, my dear.
Because it will prevent
you from marrying me.
I never thought of that.
Don't worry.
As long as we're stuck here I've plenty
of time to bring it to your attention.
You must listen to me, darling.
- Mr McNear.
Did you call?
No.
No.
Mr McNear was just trying to be funny.
That's all.
Psst.
Let's go and see what she wants.
Will you come in here a minute?
A drink?
I needed one.
No thanks. But I would like a cigarette.
Look in my bag.
How about you, Mr Thurston?
No thank you.
You know, we're all in the same fix.
Are we?
I'm afraid I don't understand.
Well, I happen to know that
you are a couple of crooks.
What the ..
Yes. You came here in my car.
So you're the real Betty Summers?
Yes.
And my husband comes
here today for lunch.
You want to get out before he gets here?
He's here already.
Really?
I just saw him drive
in with his brother.
He is somewhere about. Looking for me.
Does your husband happen
to be a policeman?
Of course not.
Then we mistook him and his pal
for the police and locked them up.
What?
That's marvelous.
Send McNear up here.
We'll work something out.
You wait in the car for a quick getaway.
Alright.
Better take your bags so
you needn't come back.
Yes. Of course.
Thank you.
Well, it's a quarter past twelve.
And I'm still in love with you.
Ralph should be here any moment now.
I shan't go far.
Ralph and Arthur drove up a little while
ago and the crooks have locked them up.
That's nice.
Let's grab Ralph's car and run away.
But you forget, my dear.
We are quarantined.
Quarantined?
That's the bunk. If Ralph
got in why can't we get out?
Come on.
- I'd like to, Betty.
But I can't leave Georgiana.
You see, she is in danger.
You can't leave Georgiana.
Very well. Keep your Georgiana.
There's nothing left to do
but go and get rough.
Not while he has a gun.
I was thinking.
Switzerland would be a wonderful
place for a honeymoon.
Mrs Summers.
There is a gentleman to
see you at the front door.
Very well, Jones.
Well.
He is here.
- Listen.
No matter what happens, I am serious.
I love you.
You know.
If you weren't such a liar.
I could like you.
The lady of the house?
I am Mrs Summers.
Police officer from headquarters.
Winkelsteinberger is my name.
But just call me 'Wink'.
We'll get through quicker.
Won't you come in please?
- Have the men surround the house.
Officer, I am so glad.
The people you want with
the jewels are here.
You're telling me?
Yes. It's those awful Thurstons.
We hid the jewels and put them ..
The bag was there.
You had your hands on the jewels?
- Yes.
You put them in a bag that was there.
Now it isn't there.
Ha. How surprising.
Mrs McNear must have
taken the bag upstairs.
I'll get it for you.
- We'll do that.
Round up everybody you can find.
The pair you want are the Thurstons.
You don't seem to like
the Thurstons, Mrs Summers.
They've had us in fear for our
lives since they arrived.
Ah? Well.
Why didn't you telephone for the police?
- Well.
You see, we have no phone.
It's rather a complicated story.
You see ..
Alright. Save it.
Who is this?
Mr McNear.
He was holding a knitting
basket in his lap.
The gun was in it.
- In his knitting basket?
Boy oh boy.
Alright. I'll take him.
Sit down and relax.
The house is surrounded.
I'm quite capable of getting
down these steps by myself.
I've done nothing, I tell you.
Absolutely nothing.
I don't know anything about anything.
That's your answer, lady?
Park yourself. The house is surrounded.
Officer. Officer, they were the two.
May I ask what this is about?
- May I ask where you got those clothes?
I'll do the asking.
Come in and join the meeting.
Sit down. The house is surrounded.
Is this all of them?
- That's all.
Mrs McNear is missing.
McNear. Where is your wife?
I'm not married.
Where's the woman you came with?
- I came here with Mrs Summers.
With this lady?
No. The other Mrs Summers.
Are you speaking of my wife?
Well. I am here.
Are you trying to pretend?
Wait. Wait.
Find that other woman.
And find her bag.
The jewels are in her bag.
What are they talking about?
Can't you see?
- Shut up.
Now, madam. Start right in
and get it off your chest.
Well, last night those two
arrived in a stolen car.
I know. Because I recognised it as
one belonging to Mrs Summers.
Wait. Wait.
Just point out which Mrs Summers
the car belongs to.
That's the one you're looking for.
At any moment I'll ask to be
taken to the psychopathic ward.
Shut up.
Now, madam.
Continue in your own peculiar way.
Well, last night this man stole in to
my bedroom while my aunt was asleep.
And put the jewels in the fireplace.
My pearl necklace among them.
This morning.
I took the jewels from the fireplace
and put them in Betty Summers' bag.
Just so they would be safe.
In my bag?
No other women in the house, Wink.
Auntie.
Did you see anybody hide jewels in
the fireplace while you were asleep?
I don't know anything.
Aunt Julia.
I don't know anything.
Head of the class, auntie.
Now, McNear.
What is your contribution?
- The naked truth.
How did you get here?
Late last night I was driving up
the mountain with the first ..
No, the second Mrs Summers.
Now they've got numbers.
Yes. At Twin Pines they warned
us there was smallpox ahead.
Well, that's just a little joke of mine.
I can explain it you.
- Not to me you won't.
Alright. Proceed.
So, the first Mrs Summers very
kindly put us up for the night.
The ..
The first Mrs Summer put you up
with the second Mrs Summers?
Then you weren't married to her?
- Quite unwittingly.
The first Mrs Summers didn't know I
had the second Mrs Summers with me.
I told her she was Mrs McNear.
But I did know it all the time.
Yes. And get this straight.
While I was put up with
the second Mrs Summers ..
I walked in the garden all
night the first Mrs Summers.
If there's any suggestion of
indiscretion you must get it right.
Say, are you kidding me?
Let me give you a lucid explanation
to this whole business.
You see.
I was angry at Betty Summers because
she stole my husband away from me.
Georgiana.
Outrageous to say I stole him from you.
Will you keep those two quiet?
Georgiana, you had
better not talk so much.
Auntie.
You are the one crook in the whole
bunch that knows your business.
Well?
Let's see how you perform
when the heat is on.
Well.
Last night my wife and I left drove out
in my wife's car to stay at Hillcrest.
Just who do you claim to be?
Ralph Summers of course.
Oh.
It shouldn't be difficult to prove.
I'm fairly well known in Santa Barbara.
Stand up.
That's my lodge too.
Really?
- Yes.
Any more identification?
Yes.
Georgiana gave me this on
our second anniversary.
Oh.
You know this watch?
- I didn't give it to him.
He must have murdered Ralph
somewhere and stolen those things.
Georgiana, do be quiet.
You're okay.
Alright, Mr Summers.
Your ex-wife must have changed a
lot since you were married to her.
It is inexplicable.
Now, Georgie.
Maybe you can tell us why you bribed
the gas station boys to pull that stunt.
Well.
They'll squeal so come clean.
It was just a little joke.
I can't explain it to you.
You're the most impossible ..
I'll explain it to you.
You were in Santa Barbara last night?
Yes.
And you ran across
Summers in the casino.
The house detectives saw
you talking together.
And you tipped off this bird McNear.
Real name is Brady.
He's been working
Santa Barbara all summer.
Brady gets his moll and raids your room.
Meanwhile.
You come on ahead.
When Brady and his moll arrive.
They all get nervous.
And the moll blows
somewhere else with the loot.
When you got here.
They thought that if the police came
you two would be handy to hang it on.
Ha.
I guess that explains everything.
Mike.
Take Georgie and her
boyfriend in the first car.
This is insane.
You shan't hear the last of this.
Come on, Georgie. We can take it.
My hat and coat, Jones.
Alright with you, chief?
- Okay with me.
Sorry, Mr Summers.
But I'll need you two as witnesses.
Certainly. May we go upstairs and pack?
- Sure.
Jones. See that Mr Summers'
car is filled with gas.
Snyder.
Keep your eye on
this lady and the butler.
I'm going to have a look around.
I said you couldn't lose me.
Let's get back to discussing honeymoons.
- How can you?
Ralph may be lying somewhere murdered.
- They've probably found him by now.
What?
The crooks locked him
upstairs in the closet.
You mean you knew that already
and could have prevented this?
Yes.
- Why didn't you?
Because I wanted you to come away with
me even if it had to be in chains.
I hate you.
I never want to see you again.
They're such a nice-mannered couple.
Throughout all this excitement
they never raised their voices.
Bring those two up here.
Come on.
Now, who tied you up?
A man and a woman I've never
seen before stole my clothes.
Julia.
Ralph Summers. What has happened?
Where are your clothes?
Arthur.
Aunt Julia, what's going on here?
Is this Summers?
- Of course.
Ralph and his brother Arthur.
Listen. Have they been stringing us?
My dear man.
All that my niece told you or
tried to tell you was true.
Well. Why didn't you say something?
From the first, I wanted Mr McNear
and my niece to get together.
It seemed such a wonderful opportunity.
You think they'll be in the same cell?
- The same cell?
Key please.
- Yes, Mrs Summers.
This note just came for you.
Jail?
What does it mean?
A robbery I presume.
Well, what are you two doing in here?
We like it.
But they're not the crooks.
These are the two that they brought in.
You two can go now.
We're quite comfortable here, thank you.
Wink just telephoned.
He has the real crooks.
Officer.
Can you get a justice of
the peace in a hurry?
Sure.
He lives right across the street.
Are you two going to get married?
We'll have to.
To keep you out of trouble.
Open that bag.
How do you explain that?
Oh. They'll arrest me.
Officer.
Oh, Georgiana.
Yes, ma'am?
These are the jewels the crooks stole.
I put them in Mrs Summers' bag.
Kindly take care of them
until the proper time.
Very well, lady.
- No.
Everyone seems to be getting
out of this mess but me.
This is the story you tell Ralph.
Bob and I went to the lodge to get
married. You came as a witness.
Then those wretched crooks
came in and spoiled everything.
Georgiana.
You are a peach.
Where is Mrs Summers? Where is she?
Do you take this man to be
your lawful wedded husband?
I do.
Wait.
Officer, give me that bag please.
Then I pronounce you man and wife.
Where is Mrs Summers? Where is she?
Perhaps she can explain.
Maybe. But I've got
to beat her up first.
Beat him to it.
Well, where have you been?
- You listen to me.
I've heard about you sneaking
up to Georgiana's place.
But I ..
You were meant to be in the city.
As I was saying ..
- What did you go there for?
Tell me. What?
Just wait a minute honey
and let me explain.
You see, I had to look at some
property in the mountains.
They'll get along.
I took Arthur with me. Didn't I, Arthur?
Yes, yes.
I don't believe a word of it.
..r-o..