The Gracie Allen Murder Case (1939) Movie Script
1
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
(crowd shouting and cheering)
- Ladies and gentlemen, the winner!
(crowd shouting and cheering)
- As the fastest three-legged couple
of the Vogue Perfume Company,
it affords me great pleasure
to award you the first prize.
(crowd shouting and cheering)
- I'm not asking you to marry me
because I think you're the
loveliest girl in the world,
it's just that I hate to see this
beautiful cradle go to waste.
- Well, we could fill it with flowers.
- Flowers, I should say not.
You wouldn't stick a baby
in a flower pot, would you?
Well, there's only one way out of it.
What do you say?
- I say, let's dance.
- You promised me this one, Ann.
- That's right, Bill.
- Well, you haven't danced with me once.
- Well, I'm sorry, Bill,
but Fred did ask me first.
-And besides, I'm much better looking.
Let's go.
(upbeat music)
- Would you mind untying that cord?
- Oh, I'm perfectly comfortable.
(upbeat music)
- Stooge.
(people laugh)
-Ow!
- Here, this will look
better around your neck.
- See you later.
- If some girl with better
taste doesn't see me first,
it's your risk, you know.
- I'll take it.
(car hoots)
(crowd cheering and applauding)
- Hello, hello, everybody, now
don't let me stop your fun.
Oh, I just want you to meet my niece,
she's just returned from Europe.
All right, Gracie, come
on out and say hello.
- Hello, everybody, well,
it certainly is nice
to see your bright and smiling faces,
and a pleasure to see
you having so much fun.
- Gracie, Gracie, come around here.
- Oh, pardon me.
Hello everybody, it's so nice to meet you-
- Gracie, here!
- Oh, I wondered where you'd gone.
- Folks, this is my niece, Gracie Allen.
(crowd applauds)
- Thank you.
Well, it's really lovely
to see your smiling faces,
and I just wanna tell you,
it's a pleasure to be here.
This is such a very beautiful place
because I just got off
the boat from Europe.
I was over in Paris,
oh, I didn't know how
long I was over there,
and I went to Fontainebleau
and then it was very
nice, it rained that day.
And then, oh, I wanted tell
you about the French people.
The French people were amazing.
They all talk French and
even the babies talk French.
Well, I never realized
that before my whole life-
- Back to your fun, folks.
- Lovely and everything,
and I just wanna tell you, oh,
here I am, just talking
on and on and on and on
and all I wanted to say was, hello.
- Yeah, you said it.
Well, why don't you join
the folks and sing and dance
and have a good time?
- Oh, this is a picnic, I wanna have fun.
- Well, who knows, Gracie now,
you might find some nice young man here.
- Why Uncie, I wouldn't
even look at a strange man
unless he looked at me first.
But of course,
if you ever wanted to
introduce me to anybody,
I would be most willing to meet the-
-All right Gracie, come on, Gracie.
- Oh, Bill.
- Yes. Mr. Martin.
- I want you to meet
my niece, Gracie Allen.
Gracie, this is Bill Brown,
my very best perfume mixer.
- How do you do?
- I do.
- Seeing you two were kind of unattached,
I thought perhaps it,
well, I thought maybe
it'd be nice if you would-
- Well, I'd love to.
- Of course I, you would?
- Sure.
- Oh, well, that's swell of you, Bill.
And I'd like to have you
show her around a couple
of night spots too.
Of course, I'll pay all the bills.
- Oh, no, it'll really be
my pleasure, Mr. Martin.
- Well, now that's what
I call a regular fellow.
Well, I guess I'd better
leave you two alone.
- Be nice to Mr. Brown, Gracie.
- Of course, I'm nice to everybody
on account of I like people.
After all, if it weren't for people,
folks wouldn't have anyone to talk to.
(upbeat music)
And I always say human beings
ought to stick together,
not pay any attention to anybody else,
that's what I always say.
- Oh, what was that?
- What was what?
- What you just said.
- Well, I don't know,
I wasn't listening.
- Well, suppose we find
a nice shady spot and-
- Oh, that'll be grand.
I packed the loveliest picnic basket
and you can be my guest, Mr. Brown.
- Well, I'd be delighted
and you can call me Bill.
- Oh, thanks, and you
can call me Bill too.
(gentle music)
Don't you just love picnics?
They remind me of when I was a girl scout.
Were you ever a girl scout?
- Now Ms. Allen, what would I
be doing with a lot of girls?
- Well, if you don't know,
I'm not gonna tell you.
Well, I guess we're all ready now.
I forgot the food.
Oh, isn't that a scream?
(Bill laughs)
Oh, it was such a wonderful lunch too.
I forgot to bring the best
potato salad you ever tasted.
- I bet you forgot some
delicious chicken too.
- I did, but first,
you've just gotta taste the potato salad.
- Well, as long as they're not
here, couldn't I have both?
- Oh yeah, but save some room
for the delicious sandwiches
I forgot to bring.
- You know you're a swell hostess,
you didn't forget to
forget anything, did you?
- Oh, I bet you're just saying that
because anything tastes
good when you're hungry.
- Look, they're serving
refreshments over there,
I better get some.
- What, after all you've just eaten?
(upbeat music)
- Hello, mister,
am I betraying my jealousy?
-Oh Huh?
Oh, you mean her?
Well, you didn't expect me
to be left on the loose for long, did you?
- She looks pretty from here.
Mr. Brown.
(wind blows)
- Hello, I want The Diamond
Slipper Cafe, New York City.
This?
Riverford 381.
(upbeat music)
- Hey, boss, you're wanted on the phone.
- I'm busy!
- But it's Benny.
- Benny?
The Buzzard?
- Yeah.
- Hey, you don't want him around here,
he'll make trouble for all of us.
- Shut up, I'm not letting the kid down.
- But...
Hey, Dix.
(upbeat music)
- I am sure glad you made it, kid.
- Thanks, Danny, yeah, I'm okay.
Smitty fixed me up with
some clothes and a gadget.
You better come up and get me.
- Sure kid, I'll drive up and get you.
I see, under the Bridge at Riverford,
I'll be there as soon as I can.
Be careful now, all right.
Oh, hello little one, you were swell.
- Gus just told me about Benny.
- Well, what are all the jitters about?
Benny and I are good friends, aren't we?
- Are you?
- Just what do you mean by that?
- Oh, nothing,
I just thought he might
feel bitter towards you
because he had to take that rap.
- Oh, that's ridiculous,
he knows that couldn't
be helped, he told me so.
We're still the best of friends.
I'm going up to Riverford to meet him.
- Riverford?
- Yes, under the bridge.
Well.
- Dan.
- Yes?
- Don't go.
- Well, why not?
- Well, I'm afraid.
- You are not afraid, you're
just tired, I'll see you later.
(door closes)
(car engine rumbles)
- I love this crowd.
My favorite people are men
and women and boys and girls.
- Must be building the new prison
without locks on the doors.
- [Gracie] Well, it does save money.
- No, I mean, there's too much coddling
of habitual criminals and murderers.
Now, if I had my way, I'd kill them all.
- Mr. Brown, you mustn't
talk about killing people,
you might hurt their feelings.
Oh, I know this song.
(Gracie vocalizes song)
Oh, of course.
My reverie you are the cream of my tea
No, that's not it.
(Gracie vocalizes song)
Did you ever see a dream
walking while I did?
No.
And the baby makes three. a
No, that's not right.
That's funny, and I know it's a lot too.
But hey nanny nanny and the air man
(Gracie vocalizes song)
You can go where you wanna go
Do what you wanna do, I don't care
where the flying fishes play,
Oh, that's silly.
Night and day, day, day, day.
Oh, now I know it.
Snug as a bug in the rug
Whenever you hold me tight
Cozy and warm on the chillest night
Thought I didn't know it, huh?
Snug as a bug in the rug
Whenever I feel your kiss,
Talk about home, home
was never like this.
Save me the core, huh?
First rounds come stealing
And my heart goes on
the roller coaster
Then I get that feeling
Like a little piece of
toast in the toaster.
Why, but my life would be cold
Without your delicious hug.
Keeping me snug as a bug in a rug.
Cute.
(car engine roars)
-Oh Oh!
- Idiots, throwing lighted
cigarettes around so carelessly.
- Yeah, might have set the grass on fire.
- Well, it did burn a hole in your dress.
- Oh, well, that's all right,
I'll turn it inside out
and it'll never show.
- A special made bitter almond.
- Oh, really?
I could have sworn it was a cigarette.
- Kiss me.
- Oh, Mr. Brown, you're
terribly impulsive.
- Ms. Allen, Kiss Me is a perfume,
it's one of my special mixtures.
- Oh, well, I'm gonna
cut the burned end off
and save the cigarette
in memory of the first time
you ever tried to kiss me.
- But I'm trying to tell you
that Kiss Me is a perfume.
- Oh, so that's the fellow
that thought my dress
was an ashtray, well.
- That's what fellow?
- Mr. Slipper there.
- That's The Diamond Slipper, a nightclub,
you know where people dance?
- Oh, really?
Well, let's go there,
I'd love to see people
dancing in a slipper.
- You left your lunch
in the car, Ms. Allen.
- Oh, isn't that silly?
(Gracie laughs)
(upbeat music)
(crowd applauds)
- I will get you a waiter right away.
- Make it two, I'm starved.
That's a pretty suit, Bill.
- Thanks, Gracie, that's a
lovely dress you have on.
- Oh, thanks, that's why
I mentioned the suit.
Oh, what a lovely cigarette case.
What do you put in it?
- Cigarettes.
- Ah, what do you take out of it?
- Cigarettes.
- What'll I think of next?
- Let's dance.
- Oh, I'd love to.
- Shall I take your order?
- After this dance?
- Yes.
(upbeat music)
- Well, I know him from somewhere.
(upbeat music)
- I just don't understand it Mr.Mirche,
Ms. Del Marr is generally
here long before this.
- Are you sure she didn't
tell you where she was going?
- No, sir, she don't tell me nothing.
She just went out of here
like a bat out of a cage.
- Where have you been?
- Why, waiting, waiting in my apartment.
- I called there four times.
- Oh, well, I was probably asleep.
I thought you'd bring Benny over.
- Oh, something must've gone
wrong, he didn't show up.
- That's strange.
- He'll call again.
- I have a feeling he's dead.
- Benny can take care of himself.
You better get dressed,
go on in a few minutes.
- All right.
(audience applauds)
- Isn't it funny the
orchestra always manages
to finish the number just
as the people stop dancing.
What's the matter?
- What, the check already?
- Oh, it's a note from a man.
I'll be back in a minute,
you'll pardon me won't you?
- Oh, of course, do you
mind if I order a bite
while I'm waiting for the food?
(gentle music)
(Gracie calls waiter)
(gentle music)
- Excuse me.
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
I know you'll think this
is awfully forward of me,
but would you mind, oh, I
hate to ask you to do this.
- Oh, please.
- Well, would you,
that is if it isn't too much trouble.
- I am sure it'll be a privilege.
- Would you please tell that
waiter I'd like to see him?
- Oh yes, of course.
- Oh, thank you.
Oh.
- She wants you.
- I'm sorry to keep you waiting, lady,
but you see, I have to give Mr. Lawrence
the best of attention,
he's one of our steadiest
customers and the boss's lawyer.
- On.
The person who told you
to deliver that note,
was it a tall man or a lanky one?
- It was a woman.
- Oh.
(upbeat music)
(door closes)
Oh, I beg your pardon,
I was looking for my boyfriend, Bill.
(phone ringing)
I'll answer it if you don't
feel like talking to anybody,
I'll tell him you're not here.
He's not here.
- Are you the lady that
just phoned the police
about a dead man and hung up on me?
- No!
- Well, who are you?
- Oh, I'm Gracie Allen, but I'm not dead.
- Listen, someone said there
was a dead man in that office.
-A dead man, oh, don't be silly,
I just had a long conversation with him,
but I'll ask him just the same.
Are you dead?
Listen, if you're dead, speak up,
and if you're not dead, say so.
You are dead, now don't deny it.
Hello, get me the police,
there's a dead man here, yeah.
Good bye!
- Hello, hello!
Come on.
- He's dead.
- Dead?
Who's dead?
- The dead man.
- Well.
(gentle music)
- What are you staring at?
- I was just thinking.
- You shouldn't waste your time.
- Bill?
- Yes.
- Why did you do it?
- Do what?
- I don't like to blab,
but that man you killed,
well, he's dead.
- What are you talking about?
(upbeat music)
(car doors close)
(upbeat music)
- Why, gentlemen, well,
well, this is a surprise.
- All right, where is it?
- Where is what?
- The body.
" Body?
I don't understand, Sergeant.
- Dead men usually have bodies,
at least all I've ever seen have them.
- There are no dead men in here.
- We haven't any time
for nonsense, Mr. Mirche.
- Nor have I, Mr. District Attorney.
- Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know.
- Come in, Ms. Del Marr.
Did you see a dead man
when you were in here a few minutes ago?
- A dead?
I don't know what you're talking about.
This is the first time
I've been in here today.
- That's funny.
The scent of your lovely perfume
was still in the room when we came in.
- There must be some mistake.
- Perhaps.
Sergeant, see if you can
find that Gracie Allen woman.
- Right.
(upbeat music)
- Where's Miss Allen's table?
- Third one.
- Ms. Allen?
- Well, of course.
- Hey you, wait a minute,
the chief wants to see you.
- The Chief?
Oh, I certainly, I just love Indians.
- Say, what's this all about anyway?
- Gracie Allen?
- Oh, how do you do Ms. Allen?
My name is Gracie Allen too.
- Drunk.
- Drunk?
She doesn't look good.
- Lady, you told me over the phone
you saw a dead man in here.
- Oh, you mean that man
with a scar in his face
who slumped over in that chair?
Well, I didn't see him.
Scar?
Sounds like Benny The Buzzard.
- Oh no, Benny The Buzzard
wouldn't dare come around here,
my Bill said he would kill him, I mean.
- Come on, let's get out of here.
- Just a minute, who's Bill?
- This is Bill, he's my boyfriend.
- What's this about
your threatening to
kill Benny The Buzzard?
- Well, it was just conversation,
I didn't really mean it.
- And besides it was self-defense.
- So what are you talking about?
- Don't play dumb, mister.
- He's not playing, I
mean, I plead insanity.
- You should!
Now Quiet!
- Fresh.
- Come on, son, you better talk up.
- Oh, please, he's a good
boy, but he's got bad friends.
If you let him go this time,
I promise he'll never kill anybody again.
- I better get you home before
I actually do commit murder.
- We better play safe and
hold them for questioning.
- Let's go.
- Wait a minute, what's this all about?
This is absurd.
- Come on.
- If you don't let go of
him, I'll call the police.
Police, police, oh the brutes.
And it's the first man he ever killed too.
- Lady, you better come with me.
- I hardly know you.
- You are coming to jail!
- I'm afraid we'll have to hold you
as a material witness
pending the discovery
of the Corpus delicti.
- Oh, Mr. Markham.
- The body!
- Oh, no, thank you,
I don't think I care about
going, it's awfully late.
- Late?
Look, lady, you and the boy
are both spending the night in jail!
- Oh, no, no, I couldn't do that.
After all, you know how people talk.
(door closes)
(keyboard clacking)
- Oh, this is terrible, a
disgrace to the whole family,
my own niece in jail.
- Well, I thought it would
be nice keeping Bill company,
- Just exactly what makes you think
that Bill Brown killed this man?
- Well, I found the
cigarette case on the floor
right beside the body, but
I'm not telling a soul.
(Gracie whistles)
- Well, I guess I'd better be going.
- Oh, it was so nice
of you to come, Uncie.
I hope I'll be able to
visit you in jail sometime.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Oh, Bill!
- Man, I didn't think you'd ever get here.
- Oh, Bill, this is terrible.
- I just had to see you,
I don't care what anyone thinks
so long as you don't believe.
- Of course not, but why
do they have to arrest you?
You of all people.
- Simply because that crackpot dame
had a dream or a hallucination
or heaven knows what?
Connecting me with the murder.
- Sounds crazy.
- You don't know Ms. Allen.
- I'm afraid I do.
- If you'd been a little
nicer to me at the picnic,
this would never have happened.
- I'm sorry, Bill, but
you were unreasonable.
- I always will be,
wherever you're concerned.
- Well, something's got to be done.
- Well, you can tell me you love me.
- I mean, about your arrest.
- Do you?
- Well, this is hardly
the time or the place.
- Does that answer your question?
Oh, we've just got to get you out of here.
- An excellent suggestion, but how?
- Suppose I go and see
Philo Vance, detective,
he ought to be able to help us.
- Ah, you can't trust that Vance,
he's strictly on the level.
- Funny, no marks or signs
of violence on the body.
- What I can't understand
is how his body got into the river.
- Can't you?
- Well, not if the police are right about
his being found dead in your office.
- You know they're right.
- All right, you two, you can
go now, but don't go too far,
the chief may want to
question you some more.
(door opens)
- There isn't anything yet, Vance.
You must have some dope on Benny's murder,
come on, please give us a
story, will you, Mr. Vance?
- What makes you think
Brown is innocent Mr. Vance?
- Guilty people never turn to detectives,
they turn to lawyers.
- Who did kill The Buzzard?
- Patience fellow, patience.
But for the present, permit me to boast
that within 48 hours,
Mr. Brown will be as free
and unfettered as a bachelor bird.
- Will you permit us to print that?
- I beg you to print it.
Please, please my, my good side.
Now, if what you tell me about
this cigarette case is true,
our case against the boy
becomes practically foolproof.
- I'm genuinely sorry about the youngster,
but I simply had to do something
to get my niece out of this difficulty.
- I've already ordered her released.
- Thank you.
And remember, not a
word to her about this.
- You can trust me.
- Good day.
- Good day.
Use this door.
- You may go in. Mr. Vance.
- Thank you.
- Hello, hello, Vance.
- Hello, Markham.
- Well, that's on that fidgety
mind of yours this morning?
- I have been brought
into the Brown case, what?
Markham, you and I have
been friends far too long
for me to stand by idly and see
you make a fool of yourself.
- The feeling is quite mutual.
- I've come to ask for Brown's release.
- Sorry, my friend, but I'm
afraid I can't accommodate you.
You see, the only person in danger
of making a fool of himself is you.
The case is cut and dry.
- Markham old boy, unless
my memory fails me,
those are the precise words you used
when you were about to
arrest every innocent person
connected with the Green,
Benson and Canary murder cases.
- Why, Mr. Markham, fancy
meeting you here of all places.
- Ms. Allen, this is Mr. Vance.
- Vance, not Fido Vance?
Well, well, well, it is a
pleasure to meet you Fido.
- Ms. Allen, the name is Philo, not Fido.
Fido is a dog.
- Well, I hear he is a regular bloodhound.
- I've just been called
in on the Brown case,
I've been trying to get hold of you.
- Oh, you mustn't do that,
I'm awfully ticklish.
Oh, will you please tell him
that Bill didn't kill that man, Fido?
-Why don't you pipe down?
- The Brown boy
is just about as guilty
as you are, Sergeant.
- So you did it.
- Why, what are you talking about?
- Oh, now don't try to
say you didn't do it,
you murdered him and you
threw him in the river
with all his clothes on too.
- Now look here, Ms, Allen.
- And don't try to alibi for him.
- Lady, please!
- You can't do that and get away with it,
even if you do say please.
If you kill a man in
this state, it's murder.
You have to buy a whole new
suit of clothes for him too.
And now, Mr. Vance, I
wanna congratulate you
on catching the real murder so quickly.
Yes, you have got the
nose of a bloodhound.
Oh, but don't you care,
otherwise, your face is pretty.
You know, with you on the case,
it's a pleasure to kill somebody.
Well, why don't you go out
and get yourself arrested?
I'm going on and tell the reporters
that you committed murder.
- Just a minute.
- Ms. Allen, please.
You try my patience!
- Oh, not now, I'm too busy.
- Now, you see what you've
gotten yourself into?
You can still with draw.
- On the contrary.
I expect to obtain a writ of habeas corpus
for the boy's immediate release.
Surely you can't expect to hold him
on some vague threat he's
supposed to have made?
- Vague threat, eh?
Just listen to this, Ms. Allen.
We are searching for a cigarette case
resembling the one Bill Brown owns.
It was left beside The Buzzard's body.
If we find it,
we are certain to prove
the boy's innocence.
- Really?
Well here it is.
It's gone!
- Is this it?
- But yes, that's it, I
found it next to the body.
- Thank you, Ms. Allen.
This is Brown's cigarette
case, your witness, sir.
- Obviously, the witness is in a
perpetual state of confusion.
- Oh, thank you, Fido.
- Well, we'll still know
exactly where we stand, come on.
- Then you admit this
is your cigarette case.
- Yes, of course.
- Can you explain how it
got into Mirche's office
beside the body Ms. Allen saw there?
- No, I haven't any idea.
- Well, then can you tell us
how it got into Ms. Allen's possession?
- No, I can't explain that either.
- Surely Mr. Brown, you can
explain the migratory habits
of your own cigarette case.
- No, I'm afraid I can't.
The last I remember seeing it
was at The Diamond Slipper.
- Of course.
- But I'm telling you the truth.
- Who helped you remove The Buzzard's body
from The Diamond Slipper?
- I never saw The Buzzard in my life.
- You are quite sure?
- Positive.
- You admit you were in
Riverford yesterday, don't you?
- Certainly.
- It was in Riverford
that the state police
lost trace of The Buzzard.
Do you still insist you
never saw him in your life?
Yes!
- The Buzzard and the accused
in Riverford the same day,
definite threats against
The Buzzard's life
admitted by the accused.
The accused's cigarette case
found next to the murdered man's body.
And against all this, not even
the semblance of an alibi.
Could anything be more conclusive?
- Yes, an established motive.
- Oh, you are just being a stubborn fool.
- You may be right.
(cars roar past)
- Oh, it's awfully sweet of you
to let me work with you, Fido.
- Oh, one thing is certain, my pet,
I can't afford to have
you working against me.
If we're ever to get young Brown freed,
I mustn't let you out of
my sight for an instant.
- Well, there she goes.
- Step on it.
- My examination of The Buzzard
leaves me with a definite conclusion
that he was the victim of
a rare and subtle poison.
The traces of which evaporated
on his being immersed in the river.
- Immersed in the river?
Oh, that's terrible,
he might have drowned.
- Miss Allen, he was dead
when they fished him out.
- Oh, well, in that case,
then I think they'll
have to throw him back.
We're awfully early, the
dancing doesn't start-
- We're not here for dancing,
we're here for clues.
- Oh, I've got a lot of clues.
- You have, where?
- In my closed closet.
- You say that, you say
that door was unlocked?
- I didn't notice, I just
turned the knob and walked in.
- If The Buzzard had been
lured here to be murdered,
that door would certainly
not have been open.
The question then is,
why should the killer
have brought the body here?
- Well, they've got a
wonderful floor show.
- Even if, even if it had been
Mirche who removed the body,
he certainly must have been
unaware of its presence
before that,
it must have been removed
immediately upon being discovered.
Could they have sneaked a dead body
in and out of here with the
place packed with people?
- No.
- How then was it accomplished?
- The back door.
- Wait, I've got an idea.
- What?
- The back door.
- Very shrewd deduction, my pet.
But there isn't any back door.
- Oh, then you must be wrong.
- And then again, there may be.
- Then I must be right.
Oh, silly, that's a wall, not a door.
Oh my goodness, what's that?
- Miss Allen, that's a, oh, never mind.
(Grace gasps)
- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to trace the fingerprints
discovered on the cigarette case.
They may reveal the
identity of the culprits
who placed the Buzzard's
body in Mr. Mirche's office.
- Oh.
- Ah, you understand?
- No.
- The only fingerprints
the police have been unable to
identify were those of a man,
a man, not Mr. Mirche and a woman.
- A mystery woman?
- Well, since these files
refuse to divulge her identity,
a mystery woman.
The discovery of whom
may lead to some very
interesting developments.
- Oh, I see.
- I doubt it.
- A mystery woman.
(keyboard clacking)
(bell tolls)
- Yes, ma'am.
- May I have the key to my,
to Mr. Buzzard's apartment, please.
- Mr. Buzzard, you mean Mr. Nelson?
- Well, that's correct too.
- Well, I'm afraid I can't open it.
- Well, you don't have to open it,
just give me the key
and I'll open it myself.
- Well, I'm sorry, but you see,
the place has been closed for over a year,
it's open only to the police.
- The police, and who are the police?
Just employees of the city.
And who is the city?
People like me.
Isn't it silly keeping me out
and letting my employees in?
- No, look here.
- Careful, remember, you
are talking to the city.
- Please, madam, get out.
- I am leaving.
12, please.
- We've only got 10, 10 and a
penthouse, but that's closed.
- Well, suppose we make it 10.
(Gracie knocks door)
(door opens)
Darling!
- Hey, what is, wait,
I don't know you lady,
wait a minute.
- (laughs) Isn't he cute?
Thank you very much.
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music continues)
(glass shatters)
(Grace screams)
(ominous music plays)
(dramatic music)
(Gracie screams)
(Gracie laughs)
(dramatic music)
(Grace screams)
(dramatic music)
(Grace yelps)
(Grace screams)
- So it was you.
- There's a woman in
there, the mystery woman,
you know the footprints of the fingers?
- No, There was no one in there but you.
- Well, she pulled a pistol
and a gun and a pistol.
I tell you, there's a woman.
- Yeah, you're quite
right, there is a woman.
- But sure, she-
- I discovered a little wall
safe and some documents.
Documents leading me to believe
that Mr. Mirche's lady friend
knows lots more than we'd suspected.
- Well, then what are we waiting for?
Let's go in and catch her, come on.
- Please, stop waving
that pistol in my face.
- This, this pistol, this is only a toy.
Look, you pull like this and goes, boom,
and then you pull it again, it goes boom,
and boom, boom, boom,
boom, isn't that cute?
(Grace laughs)
Oh, Fido, you are crying.
- I really don't need
any flowers, Fido but-
- I'm not going to buy you any,
this is merely a little scheme of mine.
I'm going to try to discover
whether the fingerprints
on the cigarette case
belonged to a certain young dancer
without arousing her suspicion
or putting her on her guard.
- Won't that be fun, come on.
Oh, what a lovely flower shop.
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
- Oh, they're gorgeous daisies.
He loves me, he loves me,
he loves me, he loves me.
- Ms. Allen!
- Shh, I wanna see how this finishes.
He loves me, he loves me, he loves me.
Well, you can't believe daisies anyhow.
Once I had one that
said my fella loved me.
Ha, I didn't even have a fella.
- Quiet please.
- Yeah, quiet please.
- How about some pansies?
- Well, frankly, my pansies are drooping.
- Oh, well, you ought to wear suspenders.
- Just give me two dozen roses.
- Yes, sir.
- They're to go to Ms. Dixie
Del Marr, Chelsea Apartments.
- Well Fido, I didn't know you and Dixie
were that way about each other.
- Please.
- Oh, I just think it's
too cute for words.
- Good, then let's not have any.
Have your messenger get her
to sign for them with this.
- Oh, yes, sir.
- Then have him wrap the pencil
carefully in the handkerchief,
I'll call for it later in the day.
- Yes, sir.
- Any card or name?
- No, just say from an admirer.
- Oh, why don't you
sign your name, bashful?
- How much please?
- $4.
- Smallest I have is 10.
- Well, that's all right,
you keep the change.
Come on, Fido.
Wasn't she nice to keep the change?
(car engine turns over and drives away)
(siren blaring)
- Extra, extra, extra, get
your money, extra, extra.
- Now, how far from the body
did you find the flower?
- How far, Hulda?
- It was right under her.
First, I think she faint,
so I tried to help her up, and then...
- Did the coroner's report arrive yet?
- Should be here any minute,
he said the flowers were
poisoned, all right.
Look, you're the manager here,
are you sure she had no visitors?
- [Manager] Positive.
- How about telephone calls?
- None that I know of.
- Who brought the flowers?
- The boy from the flower shop,
he left them at her door.
- Well, Heath, I don't know it.
Heath, what's happened?
Heath?
- He's dead.
- Lock the doors, nobody goes in or out.
And for heaven's sake, be careful,
we've got a murderous fiend on our hands.
- This ruins my hotel for sure.
- Search the place.
- Yes, sir.
- Heath, are you all right?
- Yeah, I'm all right.
- Well, what happened?
- Something hit me from up there.
- Hello.
- What are you doing here?
- Well, I just came in
to tell Mr. Del Marr
that those lovely flowers
were from Mr. Vance
on account of he was too
bashful to sign his name.
-Are you sure Mr. Vance
sent those flowers?
- Well, of course, I'm sure,
I was with him when he ordered
them, isn't it romantic?
- Those flowers were poisoned.
- Poisoned?
Oh, I think that's terrible,
he can't expect to get girls that way.
- I just heard of Ms. Del
Marr's unfortunate demise.
- Fido, I'm surprised at you.
- Frankly, Heath, this
tragic turn of events
was not entirely unexpected.
- Vance, do you realize
what you're saying?
- Most assuredly.
- Well, that's terrible.
- Vance, you said you'd
have a front page story
within 48 hours.
- I intend to make good my little promise.
- Here's something for
your front pages right now:
Mr. Vance is under arrest for
the murder of Dixie Del Marr.
- This is no time for
practical jokes, Sergeant.
- I'm not joking.
- Then you are making a fool of yourself.
- She told us all about those
flowers, they were poisoned.
- Poisoned?
- Come on, Vance.
- You blundering idiots,
you'll find yourselves back
in the traffic squad for this.
-All right, you people, you can go now.
Well, it's too bad.
- Isn't it terrible?
There's The Buzzard murdered,
and Bill, in danger of the electric chair,
Ms. Del Marr poisoned,
Fido arrested, I need a manicure.
- Arresting Philo Vance.
Sergeant, that's the most
idiotic thing you've ever done.
- I'm so confused.
Doc, this Allen woman is driving me crazy.
The man was shot, the knife
was found alongside of him.
Who do you think poisoned him?
Nobody, he hung himself.
How do you know he hung himself?
The gas jet was wide open.
Was there much gas?
He was cut from ear to ear.
Was he bleeding?
Every bone in his body was broken.
He'd been in the water for 14 hours.
The worst case of dandruff I've ever seen.
Was he dead?
Well, if he wasn't, he told me a lie.
She's driving me crazy.
- Well, what are you gonna do about Vance?
- Well, naturally, I've ordered a release.
The story that the florist told
about the flowers being left
outside Ms. Del Marr's door
where anyone could have
tampered with them,
has been corroborated by
three different people.
- Good.
(phone buzzes)
Yes?
- [Secretary] Do you
wish to see Ms. Allen?
- Heavens no, don't let her in.
- Hello.
Well, I've got it.
- You've got it, got what?
- Her picture, the mystery woman.
- Pardon me, Ms. Allen,
but I have no time to
listen to your ideas.
- Look I sneaked into The
Buzzard's apartment again,
and sure enough, there she was.
So I snapped the picture and ran.
- Well, you didn't run far enough.
- Well, I certainly did,
I ran right into the police
photographer's office
downstairs, and he's developing
the picture right now.
- Ms. Allen, please go away.
I've got no time to waste
on people who talk nonsense.
- Yeah, but I have, sit down.
Now, here's what happened.
I tiptoed into the house and nobody heard.
Fido, come here.
Oh, so you were put out of jail, huh?
Couldn't you prove that
you sent the flowers?
- Please, Ms. Allen, quiet.
- Couldn't you prove that
you sent the flowers?
- Oh, pipe down.
Mr. Vance, I'm sorry about that arrest.
- My unbounded admiration Sergeant
for the way you performed your duty.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Your turn.
- Just what do you make of
this Del Marr thing, Vance?
- Yes.
- Simple, The Buzzard was done to death.
Ms. Del Marr knew too much
and was likewise removed.
Same party, same method.
- But The Buzzard wasn't-
- Poisoned?
Yes, he was.
- No.
- But I don't understand.
- In medieval days when
according to romantic legend,
the art of a poisoner was highly regarded.
Many poisons were said to bring
death with a single whiff.
Astounding how these legends persist,
and how examples of their
apparent authenticity
crop up in modern times.
My! my' my'
- Incredible, aye?
- Indeed.
- What do you think Dr. Doremus?
- Well, Vance is nobody's fool.
- But don't you ever get lonesome?
- Ms. Allen, please.
The substance on the flowers,
and in Mr. Del Marr's lungs
was a very strange poison.
It had a faint aroma of bitter almonds.
- Bitter almonds?
Bitter almonds, where did
I hear that word before?
- The doctor just
mentioned it a second ago.
- Oh, for minute, I
thought my boyfriend Bill
mentioned it up in Riverford.
Uncle Ambrose says
that he's a wonder at mixing those things.
- Brown talked to you about
this bitter almond mixture?
- Oh, sure, he said that-
- Eureka!
- What kind of a case is this anyway?
- Well, the mystery woman.
- Let's see it.
- Mystery woman.
- Now where have I seen that face before?
Oh, isn't that funny?
No, don't tell me, let me guess.
Oh, I know that face as
well as I know my own.
Fido, Fido, oh Fido, wait for me!
Oh, I've got a good night to get good mad
and I will do, Fido!
- Hello?
- Oh, hello.
- Can I take you anywhere?
- Where are you going?
- To your way.
- Oh, good, then I'll drop you off.
- Don't lose him.
- I do wish they'd clear
this thing up and let you go.
- I've seen you so much more
since being thrown in here
and I'm beginning to like it.
- I'm getting a bit worried.
- Say, they haven't begun to plant doubts
in your mind about me, have they?
- Oh, of course not, darling.
- Well then what are you worrying about?
- Brown, I advise you not to
try and hold anything back.
Did you or did you not discuss
the poison used in the Buzzard murder
with Ms. Allen at Riverford?
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Maybe this will refresh your memory.
We discover the stuff
smells of bitter almond.
- Silence is golden son,
but not at this moment.
- Well, yes, I recall now,
I did discuss it with Ms. Allen.
- Bill!
- Oh, but it was all in a harmless way.
- Then you admit the discussion,
you admit threatening The Buzzard
and that it was your cigarette
case found next to the body.
Brown, it's about time
someone told you that
poison is not harmless.
- Ann, you don't think
I've been lying to you?
- Oh, I don't know what to think.
Ann!
- You had better tell us
everything that happened.
- Ms. Allen and I were
on a picnic at Riverford,
we were near the roadside
when a car sped by
and someone threw a lighted
cigarette into Miss Allen's lap.
It smelled of Kiss Me
perfume and bitter almond.
I knew because perfume's my business.
- Well continue.
- Well, that's all.
- That's all?
Well, I'll be a blubbering baboon.
- Markham, you are.
- What?
- My young friend practically deposits
the solution of the murder in your lap,
and you stand there proclaiming
you are a blubbering baboon.
That's a slander on baboons.
- Now see here, Vance.
- That cigarette was poisoned.
The Buzzard took one whiff of it
and departed this troubled world.
- But the body was found in the river.
- You are right, Markham,
it was taken on a sightseeing tour.
- Very interesting, Vance, but by whom?
- The Kiss Me will probably divulge that.
- See, I think Ms. Allen
still has that cigarette.
She was keeping it as a souvenir.
- Souvenir?
Exhibit A for the prosecution.
Where is she?
- We left her at my office.
- Well, let's get her before she loses it
OF poisons someone.
- You better come along with us, son.
- Yes, sir.
- I'm sorry, I haven't
time to tell you any more,
but Mr. Vance and I are hot on the trail
of the real murderer.
- I see.
- Well, this is as far as I go.
- It's kind of you to permit me,
oh, a little gift by which
to remember a lonely old man.
- Oh, I really couldn't.
Oh, smells like some kind of nuts.
Almond nuts?
Walnuts?
Forget me nuts?
- I do hope you'll like it.
No, no, no, no, not now.
When you are alone, then
you will think of me
for one brief moment at any rate.
- Oh, flirty, you're just a lady killer.
Oh, yes you are.
- No, no, really.
- You're an awfully fast
worker for an old geezer.
Well, goodbye!
- Sorry miss, Mr. Vance ain't home.
- Isn't home.
-All right, isn't home.
All the same, ain't home.
- Somebody at the door.
- That's a phone.
- Oh, probably for me.
- Sorry, miss, you can't come in.
- Well, all the calls in
my apartment are for me,
except the wrong numbers.
See now look what you've done.
Hello?
- Hello, Ms. Allen?
- I've got her.
- This is Mr. Vance
- Vance?
Oh, I'm sorry, but he's not here.
- I am Vance, no, Vance, V-A-N-C-E.
Yeah, Fido.
Now listen,
that cigarette you've been
guarding so carefully,
it's poisonous.
- Poisonous?
Oh, don't be ridic,
cigarettes can't harm you.
- I'm not talking about cigarettes.
Cigarette, that one you got
in Riverford, it's deadly!
- Oh, I don't believe it, wait a minute.
You must be mistaken, Fido,
it's not marked poisonous.
-All right, all right, just hang onto it.
Don't let it out of your
sight, we'll be right over.
Wait there.
We better hurry, gentlemen.
- My brother Louis, the
one with a sense of humor,
he smokes all the time.
Well, only yesterday he said to me.
(sirens blaring)
Now tell the truth Mr. Vance
is that brother of mine a
scream or is he a scream?
(sirens blaring)
- Look, Missy, Mr. Vance downstairs,
he just got here in police car.
- Well, well, we're certainly
living in a wonderful age.
There's Mr. Vance riding
around a police car,
and here I'm talking to
him at the same time.
I'll be right down, Mr. Vance.
- Going up-
- Going down.
- Good, so am I.
- Where's Ms. Allen?
- She gone.
- Gone?
- Did she say where she was going?
- No, sir, she just come up and go.
- I could have made sure she'd
stay by asking her to go.
- Well, what now?
- Work.
We're going to retrace
every step on the case
until we find the owner of the cigarette.
We start with the Diamond Slipper.
Does she say, Vance?
- If Ms. Allen returns,
send her right over there.
- Yes, sir, oh, Mr. Vance,
you forget your cigarette
case this morning.
- Thank you.
- Have you seen Fido?
- Fido, Fido?
- Yeah.
- Oh, you mean him?
- Oh no, Fido's much taller.
And besides, Fido is a
man and his name is Vance.
- Oh, Mr. Vance, I'm sorry,
he just went upstairs.
- Oh, oh, thank you, general.
- Going UP-
- Wait for me.
Where's Mr. Vance?
- He go down.
- Well, the general just said he went up.
- He do come up, but he going down again.
- Wow, he must be elevator crazy.
- He say for you to meet
him at Diamond Slipper,
really important.
- Oh, hello.
- That's the door.
- Oh, well then you better answer this.
Well, I do.
- Is Bill here?
- Well, no, you see he's been arrested
on account of he killed someone
and well, it's a long
story, pull up a chair.
- I just heard he's been released.
- No, isn't that wonderful?
Well, aren't you glad?
- Of course, I haven't been
able to think of anything else
for days.
- Say, you kind of like Bill, don't you?
- I love him.
- I see, and does he love you?
- Well, we talked of getting
married as soon as he was free.
- On.
- You like him too, don't you?
" Me?
Oh no, you know me, I can't
stick to any one fella.
Well, I've had dozens of them,
but here I am still
stringing them all along.
I guess I'm just a butterfly.
- Why are you dirty double cross.
- What did I tell you?
I can't let an innocent
kid go to the chair.
- Don't be a fool.
You're not sending him to the chair,
you're just minding your own business
and not starting any
more trouble around here,
do you understand?
- I'm gonna tell you, you can't stop me!
- I can't, eh?
All right, boys.
- Don't, don't let me alone, me alone.
Mr. Vance, he didn't do
it, it was all my fault.
- He's crazy.
- I'll tell you the truth
about the whole thing.
- Calm yourself my good man,
you're among friends, huh?
-All right, spill it.
- That cigarette case, I
stole it from the kid's table
while he was dancing.
- So those mysterious male
fingerprints were yours?
- Yes, sir.
I came in here to fill it
with the boss's cigarettes,
there was nobody here, nobody!
Then I heard a noise from over there.
So I got scared and I
dropped the case and ran.
And just as I was going through the door,
I ran into some woman who
gave me a note for him.
- It was from Ann Wilson,
she merely wanted Ms. Allen
and me to join her party.
- I wanted to tell you
right along, I swear,
but they wouldn't let me.
- Very interesting.
- Yes, Mirche,
we think you can be of great
help to us in this case.
- Well, I hope so, won't you
make yourselves comfortable?
- Thank you.
(phone rings)
- Hello?
- I was just with that silly Allen woman.
Did you know she was up
at Riverford that day?
- Oh yeah, she's a swell kid,
yeah, she talks a lot though.
- No fear, I gave her a
little gift, poor thing.
- Mr. Vance and some
other friends are here.
Why don't you drop over?
- Oh, he is, eh?
Well take it easy, I'll be right there.
- Okay'
It's my attorney.
- I see.
- Here, use some of this,
it'll make you feel better.
- Oh, no thanks-
- Oh, go on.
- Well.
- Sorry, but Mr. Vance
say for you to hurry.
- Forgot all about Mr.
Vance, isn't that awful?
(man whistles)
- Is anything wrong?
- That song reminds me of something.
See the picnic, oh, the cigarette.
Where's my cigarette?
- Cigarette?
- Well, I left it right on the desk,
Mr. Vance says it's poisonous.
Poisonous, Jiminy Cricket,
I put it in Mr. Vance's cigarette case!
- Why is that, to smoke it?
- They go to Diamond
Slipper, better phone.
- You took the words
right out of my mouth,
only I was just gonna say,
we ought go down there!
(Grace dials number)
Jiminy Cricket, missy, what are you doing?
- Oh, this thing is outta order,
every time I swing it around,
it comes right back again.
- The Buzzard was my friend.
I'm just as anxious to discover
his murderer as you are.
- Of course.
- Let's not have any more disturbances.
- Mr. Mirche, you drove up to Riverford
to meet The Buzzard at The
Buzzard's telephone request,
didn't show.
- Riverford?
I didn't even know he was there.
- The telephone company states
they put through a Riverford
call to your office.
Perhaps you can explain that call.
-And if I can't, does that
mean I drove up to Riverford?
- I'm afraid, Mr. Mirche, it does.
- Taxi, Taxi.
- All of them when you no want cabs, cabs.
All of them when you
do want cabs, no cabs!
- [Doorman] There might
be one down at the corner.
(car hoots)
- Diamond Slipper, quick.
- What?
- Oh, please, do you wanna
make a widow outta Mrs. Vance?
- Vance?
- Yes.
- Oh, Philo Vance?
There ain't no Mrs. Vance.
- Oh no, what do you think
his mother's name is, Smith?
- Now you listen to me.
- Oh, quick hurry or he'll be dead.
-All right, but this better not be
one of them fraternity initiation gags.
- No, it isn't.
(Engine turns over)
- There she go.
- Come on, let's hurry.
(car and bike engines rumble)
- Mirche, supposing I were to tell you
that we've got the cigarettes you used
in poisoning Benny The Buzzard?
- You know Vance, you and
I are in the same boat.
Neither one of us knows
what you're talking about.
Warm?
- Me, no?
No, I feel fine.
- [Vance] You are
perspiring rather freely.
- Oh, oh, that?
- Oh, I guess it is a bit stuffy in here.
- Lovely handkerchief, may I see it?
- Sure.
- Lovely perfume too, isn't it?
- It's Kiss Me.
- So that's the stuff I smelled
when I first walked into this office.
- Quite right, Mr. Markham,
the cigarette in question had
the aroma of bitter almond.
It also had the fragrance of Kiss Me,
which betrays the fact that it
had been in your possession.
You threw the cigarette
out of the death car
after it had killed The Buzzard,
and it landed on Ms. Allen's dress.
- So Ms. Allen is the big
brain behind all this nonsense?
(sirens blaring)
- It's all crystal clear, Mirche.
Ms. Del Marr only
pretended to care for you
in order to find out
whether you and your associates
had framed The Buzzard,
the man she really loved.
- Dixie hardly knew The Buzzard.
- A little document I found
in his safe says otherwise.
This marriage certificate attests the fact
that they had been married secretly
for three weeks when you had him sent up,
so there'd be one less to
share your foul profits with.
- You are crazy!
- She knew that you'd stop at nothing
to get The Buzzard out of the way.
So she followed you to Riverford
in her car to warn him.
Unfortunately, you had already
kept your little rendezvous with him.
Intent upon having you found out,
she took the corpse
from where you'd left it
and dragged it here through that door.
- Say, I'll bet she was the woman
that telephoned right
before Ms. Allen did.
- She even placed our
Young Knight cigarette case
near the body
thinking, of course it was Mr. Mirche's.
Her fingerprints on the
case are unmistakable proof.
But I-
- Yes. Markham,
they matched with those on this pencil
with which she signed for the flowers.
- Well, weren't the flowers
left outside her door?
- Well, not finding Ms. Del Marr at home,
the delivery boy left
the flowers at her door
where they were murderously tampered with.
He managed, however, to
get her to sign for them
as she entered the lobby.
- Well.
- Well, Lawrence,
they're trying to implicate
me in the Buzzard murder.
- Absurd.
- Well, do something!
- Patience, please.
After all, I'm only your attorney.
- I'm afraid it'll take
more than an attorney
to get you out of this.
Mr. Lawrence, we have
enough on your client
to get him a season ticket
to the electric chair.
You see, we've got Mr. Mirche
as he so quaintly puts it
himself, "dead to rights".
(motorcycle engine roars)
(sirens blaring)
- Well, gentlemen,
under the circumstances,
I think perhaps I had better
withdraw from the case.
- What?
- Irrevocable judgment, Mr. Lawrence.
- Why, you dirty, double crosser,
are you trying to get me out of the way
so you can run the whole town yourself?
- Well, the poor man, he's hysterical.
- Come on, Mirche.
- Wait a minute, he
engineered the whole thing.
- He's mad.
- Vance, this isn't my kind of a job,
you know it's too fancy for me.
- Yes, you are a good soldier Mirche,
but I always did think
you lacked imagination.
I do believe there was a mastermind.
- Maybe you're right.
I think you better come
along too, Mr. Lawrence.
- Now remember,
you are acting solely on
the word of this one man,
without a particle of evidence.
I need hard to remind you
of my reputation in the
community and my profession?
- If I remember correctly, Mr. Lawrence,
the Bar Association has wisely
commenced disbarment
proceedings against you.
- That is another fib.
(Motorcycle engine rumbles)
- Well then gentlemen,
arrest me if you wish,
but you'll regret it, both of you.
- Perhaps we are acting a bit
hastily in Lawrence's case.
- You are the district attorney.
- We'll just take him
along for the time being.
- Come on.
- Come on, get 'em up, all of you.
I may get the hot seat for this boys,
but there are two of you guys
who won't have the pleasure
of seeing me get it.
- Oh, Fido's getting robbed.
- I'm sorry about you, Vance,
but I can't afford to have
you loose on my trail.
- Very flattering.
- Wait a minute!
- Can't a condemned man
have a couple of puffs on a cigarette
before he takes his final bow?
- Sure, Harry, you get it for him.
- Too bad about you, Mirche,
you do have the instincts of a gentleman.
- Okay, will you join me?
- Sure, you better light it for me.
- Pleasure
- There he is!
Gosh, I'm glad I hit you.
- I'm glad you find it fun.
- Oh, well that cigarette
may be the poisoned one.
- What?
- Whew.
- Nice work boys, but what brought you?
- That dame tipped me off.
- Well, congratulations Ms. Allen.
You had the solution to
the mystery all the time.
-Oh Huh?
Well, oh sure, but nobody ever asked me.
- Oh, I see.
Let's get going, men.
- You are not getting
away with this, Lawrence.
- Don't you dare yell at him,
he's my friend, aren't you, Mr. Geezer?
- Wait a minute, did you say
this man was your friend?
- Oh sure, he gave me this
bottle of Kiss Me, here smell.
- That's awfully pale for Kiss Me.
Bitter Almond.
- You're a lucky little one,
that's the stuff he put on the flowers
that killed Dixie Del Marr.
-All right, Lawrence.
- This is an outrage-
- How do you feel now, mastermind?
- Well, goodbye, it's
been nice knowing you.
- Oh, thanks, it's been
nice knowing me too.
- Are you all right?
- You feel all right, Mr. Vance?
- [Vance] Yes, I'm all right.
- Go on, kiss her.
- Oh, there you are.
- Hello.
- Now, who are these men?
- Oh, I hired these two
gentlemen as my bodyguards,
but I won't be needing you boys anymore.
From now on, I'll be working with Fido.
I'm gonna be the silent partner.
Well, goodbye.
Well, goodbye.
Hello.
Well, goodbye, goodbye.
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
(crowd shouting and cheering)
- Ladies and gentlemen, the winner!
(crowd shouting and cheering)
- As the fastest three-legged couple
of the Vogue Perfume Company,
it affords me great pleasure
to award you the first prize.
(crowd shouting and cheering)
- I'm not asking you to marry me
because I think you're the
loveliest girl in the world,
it's just that I hate to see this
beautiful cradle go to waste.
- Well, we could fill it with flowers.
- Flowers, I should say not.
You wouldn't stick a baby
in a flower pot, would you?
Well, there's only one way out of it.
What do you say?
- I say, let's dance.
- You promised me this one, Ann.
- That's right, Bill.
- Well, you haven't danced with me once.
- Well, I'm sorry, Bill,
but Fred did ask me first.
-And besides, I'm much better looking.
Let's go.
(upbeat music)
- Would you mind untying that cord?
- Oh, I'm perfectly comfortable.
(upbeat music)
- Stooge.
(people laugh)
-Ow!
- Here, this will look
better around your neck.
- See you later.
- If some girl with better
taste doesn't see me first,
it's your risk, you know.
- I'll take it.
(car hoots)
(crowd cheering and applauding)
- Hello, hello, everybody, now
don't let me stop your fun.
Oh, I just want you to meet my niece,
she's just returned from Europe.
All right, Gracie, come
on out and say hello.
- Hello, everybody, well,
it certainly is nice
to see your bright and smiling faces,
and a pleasure to see
you having so much fun.
- Gracie, Gracie, come around here.
- Oh, pardon me.
Hello everybody, it's so nice to meet you-
- Gracie, here!
- Oh, I wondered where you'd gone.
- Folks, this is my niece, Gracie Allen.
(crowd applauds)
- Thank you.
Well, it's really lovely
to see your smiling faces,
and I just wanna tell you,
it's a pleasure to be here.
This is such a very beautiful place
because I just got off
the boat from Europe.
I was over in Paris,
oh, I didn't know how
long I was over there,
and I went to Fontainebleau
and then it was very
nice, it rained that day.
And then, oh, I wanted tell
you about the French people.
The French people were amazing.
They all talk French and
even the babies talk French.
Well, I never realized
that before my whole life-
- Back to your fun, folks.
- Lovely and everything,
and I just wanna tell you, oh,
here I am, just talking
on and on and on and on
and all I wanted to say was, hello.
- Yeah, you said it.
Well, why don't you join
the folks and sing and dance
and have a good time?
- Oh, this is a picnic, I wanna have fun.
- Well, who knows, Gracie now,
you might find some nice young man here.
- Why Uncie, I wouldn't
even look at a strange man
unless he looked at me first.
But of course,
if you ever wanted to
introduce me to anybody,
I would be most willing to meet the-
-All right Gracie, come on, Gracie.
- Oh, Bill.
- Yes. Mr. Martin.
- I want you to meet
my niece, Gracie Allen.
Gracie, this is Bill Brown,
my very best perfume mixer.
- How do you do?
- I do.
- Seeing you two were kind of unattached,
I thought perhaps it,
well, I thought maybe
it'd be nice if you would-
- Well, I'd love to.
- Of course I, you would?
- Sure.
- Oh, well, that's swell of you, Bill.
And I'd like to have you
show her around a couple
of night spots too.
Of course, I'll pay all the bills.
- Oh, no, it'll really be
my pleasure, Mr. Martin.
- Well, now that's what
I call a regular fellow.
Well, I guess I'd better
leave you two alone.
- Be nice to Mr. Brown, Gracie.
- Of course, I'm nice to everybody
on account of I like people.
After all, if it weren't for people,
folks wouldn't have anyone to talk to.
(upbeat music)
And I always say human beings
ought to stick together,
not pay any attention to anybody else,
that's what I always say.
- Oh, what was that?
- What was what?
- What you just said.
- Well, I don't know,
I wasn't listening.
- Well, suppose we find
a nice shady spot and-
- Oh, that'll be grand.
I packed the loveliest picnic basket
and you can be my guest, Mr. Brown.
- Well, I'd be delighted
and you can call me Bill.
- Oh, thanks, and you
can call me Bill too.
(gentle music)
Don't you just love picnics?
They remind me of when I was a girl scout.
Were you ever a girl scout?
- Now Ms. Allen, what would I
be doing with a lot of girls?
- Well, if you don't know,
I'm not gonna tell you.
Well, I guess we're all ready now.
I forgot the food.
Oh, isn't that a scream?
(Bill laughs)
Oh, it was such a wonderful lunch too.
I forgot to bring the best
potato salad you ever tasted.
- I bet you forgot some
delicious chicken too.
- I did, but first,
you've just gotta taste the potato salad.
- Well, as long as they're not
here, couldn't I have both?
- Oh yeah, but save some room
for the delicious sandwiches
I forgot to bring.
- You know you're a swell hostess,
you didn't forget to
forget anything, did you?
- Oh, I bet you're just saying that
because anything tastes
good when you're hungry.
- Look, they're serving
refreshments over there,
I better get some.
- What, after all you've just eaten?
(upbeat music)
- Hello, mister,
am I betraying my jealousy?
-Oh Huh?
Oh, you mean her?
Well, you didn't expect me
to be left on the loose for long, did you?
- She looks pretty from here.
Mr. Brown.
(wind blows)
- Hello, I want The Diamond
Slipper Cafe, New York City.
This?
Riverford 381.
(upbeat music)
- Hey, boss, you're wanted on the phone.
- I'm busy!
- But it's Benny.
- Benny?
The Buzzard?
- Yeah.
- Hey, you don't want him around here,
he'll make trouble for all of us.
- Shut up, I'm not letting the kid down.
- But...
Hey, Dix.
(upbeat music)
- I am sure glad you made it, kid.
- Thanks, Danny, yeah, I'm okay.
Smitty fixed me up with
some clothes and a gadget.
You better come up and get me.
- Sure kid, I'll drive up and get you.
I see, under the Bridge at Riverford,
I'll be there as soon as I can.
Be careful now, all right.
Oh, hello little one, you were swell.
- Gus just told me about Benny.
- Well, what are all the jitters about?
Benny and I are good friends, aren't we?
- Are you?
- Just what do you mean by that?
- Oh, nothing,
I just thought he might
feel bitter towards you
because he had to take that rap.
- Oh, that's ridiculous,
he knows that couldn't
be helped, he told me so.
We're still the best of friends.
I'm going up to Riverford to meet him.
- Riverford?
- Yes, under the bridge.
Well.
- Dan.
- Yes?
- Don't go.
- Well, why not?
- Well, I'm afraid.
- You are not afraid, you're
just tired, I'll see you later.
(door closes)
(car engine rumbles)
- I love this crowd.
My favorite people are men
and women and boys and girls.
- Must be building the new prison
without locks on the doors.
- [Gracie] Well, it does save money.
- No, I mean, there's too much coddling
of habitual criminals and murderers.
Now, if I had my way, I'd kill them all.
- Mr. Brown, you mustn't
talk about killing people,
you might hurt their feelings.
Oh, I know this song.
(Gracie vocalizes song)
Oh, of course.
My reverie you are the cream of my tea
No, that's not it.
(Gracie vocalizes song)
Did you ever see a dream
walking while I did?
No.
And the baby makes three. a
No, that's not right.
That's funny, and I know it's a lot too.
But hey nanny nanny and the air man
(Gracie vocalizes song)
You can go where you wanna go
Do what you wanna do, I don't care
where the flying fishes play,
Oh, that's silly.
Night and day, day, day, day.
Oh, now I know it.
Snug as a bug in the rug
Whenever you hold me tight
Cozy and warm on the chillest night
Thought I didn't know it, huh?
Snug as a bug in the rug
Whenever I feel your kiss,
Talk about home, home
was never like this.
Save me the core, huh?
First rounds come stealing
And my heart goes on
the roller coaster
Then I get that feeling
Like a little piece of
toast in the toaster.
Why, but my life would be cold
Without your delicious hug.
Keeping me snug as a bug in a rug.
Cute.
(car engine roars)
-Oh Oh!
- Idiots, throwing lighted
cigarettes around so carelessly.
- Yeah, might have set the grass on fire.
- Well, it did burn a hole in your dress.
- Oh, well, that's all right,
I'll turn it inside out
and it'll never show.
- A special made bitter almond.
- Oh, really?
I could have sworn it was a cigarette.
- Kiss me.
- Oh, Mr. Brown, you're
terribly impulsive.
- Ms. Allen, Kiss Me is a perfume,
it's one of my special mixtures.
- Oh, well, I'm gonna
cut the burned end off
and save the cigarette
in memory of the first time
you ever tried to kiss me.
- But I'm trying to tell you
that Kiss Me is a perfume.
- Oh, so that's the fellow
that thought my dress
was an ashtray, well.
- That's what fellow?
- Mr. Slipper there.
- That's The Diamond Slipper, a nightclub,
you know where people dance?
- Oh, really?
Well, let's go there,
I'd love to see people
dancing in a slipper.
- You left your lunch
in the car, Ms. Allen.
- Oh, isn't that silly?
(Gracie laughs)
(upbeat music)
(crowd applauds)
- I will get you a waiter right away.
- Make it two, I'm starved.
That's a pretty suit, Bill.
- Thanks, Gracie, that's a
lovely dress you have on.
- Oh, thanks, that's why
I mentioned the suit.
Oh, what a lovely cigarette case.
What do you put in it?
- Cigarettes.
- Ah, what do you take out of it?
- Cigarettes.
- What'll I think of next?
- Let's dance.
- Oh, I'd love to.
- Shall I take your order?
- After this dance?
- Yes.
(upbeat music)
- Well, I know him from somewhere.
(upbeat music)
- I just don't understand it Mr.Mirche,
Ms. Del Marr is generally
here long before this.
- Are you sure she didn't
tell you where she was going?
- No, sir, she don't tell me nothing.
She just went out of here
like a bat out of a cage.
- Where have you been?
- Why, waiting, waiting in my apartment.
- I called there four times.
- Oh, well, I was probably asleep.
I thought you'd bring Benny over.
- Oh, something must've gone
wrong, he didn't show up.
- That's strange.
- He'll call again.
- I have a feeling he's dead.
- Benny can take care of himself.
You better get dressed,
go on in a few minutes.
- All right.
(audience applauds)
- Isn't it funny the
orchestra always manages
to finish the number just
as the people stop dancing.
What's the matter?
- What, the check already?
- Oh, it's a note from a man.
I'll be back in a minute,
you'll pardon me won't you?
- Oh, of course, do you
mind if I order a bite
while I'm waiting for the food?
(gentle music)
(Gracie calls waiter)
(gentle music)
- Excuse me.
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
I know you'll think this
is awfully forward of me,
but would you mind, oh, I
hate to ask you to do this.
- Oh, please.
- Well, would you,
that is if it isn't too much trouble.
- I am sure it'll be a privilege.
- Would you please tell that
waiter I'd like to see him?
- Oh yes, of course.
- Oh, thank you.
Oh.
- She wants you.
- I'm sorry to keep you waiting, lady,
but you see, I have to give Mr. Lawrence
the best of attention,
he's one of our steadiest
customers and the boss's lawyer.
- On.
The person who told you
to deliver that note,
was it a tall man or a lanky one?
- It was a woman.
- Oh.
(upbeat music)
(door closes)
Oh, I beg your pardon,
I was looking for my boyfriend, Bill.
(phone ringing)
I'll answer it if you don't
feel like talking to anybody,
I'll tell him you're not here.
He's not here.
- Are you the lady that
just phoned the police
about a dead man and hung up on me?
- No!
- Well, who are you?
- Oh, I'm Gracie Allen, but I'm not dead.
- Listen, someone said there
was a dead man in that office.
-A dead man, oh, don't be silly,
I just had a long conversation with him,
but I'll ask him just the same.
Are you dead?
Listen, if you're dead, speak up,
and if you're not dead, say so.
You are dead, now don't deny it.
Hello, get me the police,
there's a dead man here, yeah.
Good bye!
- Hello, hello!
Come on.
- He's dead.
- Dead?
Who's dead?
- The dead man.
- Well.
(gentle music)
- What are you staring at?
- I was just thinking.
- You shouldn't waste your time.
- Bill?
- Yes.
- Why did you do it?
- Do what?
- I don't like to blab,
but that man you killed,
well, he's dead.
- What are you talking about?
(upbeat music)
(car doors close)
(upbeat music)
- Why, gentlemen, well,
well, this is a surprise.
- All right, where is it?
- Where is what?
- The body.
" Body?
I don't understand, Sergeant.
- Dead men usually have bodies,
at least all I've ever seen have them.
- There are no dead men in here.
- We haven't any time
for nonsense, Mr. Mirche.
- Nor have I, Mr. District Attorney.
- Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know.
- Come in, Ms. Del Marr.
Did you see a dead man
when you were in here a few minutes ago?
- A dead?
I don't know what you're talking about.
This is the first time
I've been in here today.
- That's funny.
The scent of your lovely perfume
was still in the room when we came in.
- There must be some mistake.
- Perhaps.
Sergeant, see if you can
find that Gracie Allen woman.
- Right.
(upbeat music)
- Where's Miss Allen's table?
- Third one.
- Ms. Allen?
- Well, of course.
- Hey you, wait a minute,
the chief wants to see you.
- The Chief?
Oh, I certainly, I just love Indians.
- Say, what's this all about anyway?
- Gracie Allen?
- Oh, how do you do Ms. Allen?
My name is Gracie Allen too.
- Drunk.
- Drunk?
She doesn't look good.
- Lady, you told me over the phone
you saw a dead man in here.
- Oh, you mean that man
with a scar in his face
who slumped over in that chair?
Well, I didn't see him.
Scar?
Sounds like Benny The Buzzard.
- Oh no, Benny The Buzzard
wouldn't dare come around here,
my Bill said he would kill him, I mean.
- Come on, let's get out of here.
- Just a minute, who's Bill?
- This is Bill, he's my boyfriend.
- What's this about
your threatening to
kill Benny The Buzzard?
- Well, it was just conversation,
I didn't really mean it.
- And besides it was self-defense.
- So what are you talking about?
- Don't play dumb, mister.
- He's not playing, I
mean, I plead insanity.
- You should!
Now Quiet!
- Fresh.
- Come on, son, you better talk up.
- Oh, please, he's a good
boy, but he's got bad friends.
If you let him go this time,
I promise he'll never kill anybody again.
- I better get you home before
I actually do commit murder.
- We better play safe and
hold them for questioning.
- Let's go.
- Wait a minute, what's this all about?
This is absurd.
- Come on.
- If you don't let go of
him, I'll call the police.
Police, police, oh the brutes.
And it's the first man he ever killed too.
- Lady, you better come with me.
- I hardly know you.
- You are coming to jail!
- I'm afraid we'll have to hold you
as a material witness
pending the discovery
of the Corpus delicti.
- Oh, Mr. Markham.
- The body!
- Oh, no, thank you,
I don't think I care about
going, it's awfully late.
- Late?
Look, lady, you and the boy
are both spending the night in jail!
- Oh, no, no, I couldn't do that.
After all, you know how people talk.
(door closes)
(keyboard clacking)
- Oh, this is terrible, a
disgrace to the whole family,
my own niece in jail.
- Well, I thought it would
be nice keeping Bill company,
- Just exactly what makes you think
that Bill Brown killed this man?
- Well, I found the
cigarette case on the floor
right beside the body, but
I'm not telling a soul.
(Gracie whistles)
- Well, I guess I'd better be going.
- Oh, it was so nice
of you to come, Uncie.
I hope I'll be able to
visit you in jail sometime.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Oh, Bill!
- Man, I didn't think you'd ever get here.
- Oh, Bill, this is terrible.
- I just had to see you,
I don't care what anyone thinks
so long as you don't believe.
- Of course not, but why
do they have to arrest you?
You of all people.
- Simply because that crackpot dame
had a dream or a hallucination
or heaven knows what?
Connecting me with the murder.
- Sounds crazy.
- You don't know Ms. Allen.
- I'm afraid I do.
- If you'd been a little
nicer to me at the picnic,
this would never have happened.
- I'm sorry, Bill, but
you were unreasonable.
- I always will be,
wherever you're concerned.
- Well, something's got to be done.
- Well, you can tell me you love me.
- I mean, about your arrest.
- Do you?
- Well, this is hardly
the time or the place.
- Does that answer your question?
Oh, we've just got to get you out of here.
- An excellent suggestion, but how?
- Suppose I go and see
Philo Vance, detective,
he ought to be able to help us.
- Ah, you can't trust that Vance,
he's strictly on the level.
- Funny, no marks or signs
of violence on the body.
- What I can't understand
is how his body got into the river.
- Can't you?
- Well, not if the police are right about
his being found dead in your office.
- You know they're right.
- All right, you two, you can
go now, but don't go too far,
the chief may want to
question you some more.
(door opens)
- There isn't anything yet, Vance.
You must have some dope on Benny's murder,
come on, please give us a
story, will you, Mr. Vance?
- What makes you think
Brown is innocent Mr. Vance?
- Guilty people never turn to detectives,
they turn to lawyers.
- Who did kill The Buzzard?
- Patience fellow, patience.
But for the present, permit me to boast
that within 48 hours,
Mr. Brown will be as free
and unfettered as a bachelor bird.
- Will you permit us to print that?
- I beg you to print it.
Please, please my, my good side.
Now, if what you tell me about
this cigarette case is true,
our case against the boy
becomes practically foolproof.
- I'm genuinely sorry about the youngster,
but I simply had to do something
to get my niece out of this difficulty.
- I've already ordered her released.
- Thank you.
And remember, not a
word to her about this.
- You can trust me.
- Good day.
- Good day.
Use this door.
- You may go in. Mr. Vance.
- Thank you.
- Hello, hello, Vance.
- Hello, Markham.
- Well, that's on that fidgety
mind of yours this morning?
- I have been brought
into the Brown case, what?
Markham, you and I have
been friends far too long
for me to stand by idly and see
you make a fool of yourself.
- The feeling is quite mutual.
- I've come to ask for Brown's release.
- Sorry, my friend, but I'm
afraid I can't accommodate you.
You see, the only person in danger
of making a fool of himself is you.
The case is cut and dry.
- Markham old boy, unless
my memory fails me,
those are the precise words you used
when you were about to
arrest every innocent person
connected with the Green,
Benson and Canary murder cases.
- Why, Mr. Markham, fancy
meeting you here of all places.
- Ms. Allen, this is Mr. Vance.
- Vance, not Fido Vance?
Well, well, well, it is a
pleasure to meet you Fido.
- Ms. Allen, the name is Philo, not Fido.
Fido is a dog.
- Well, I hear he is a regular bloodhound.
- I've just been called
in on the Brown case,
I've been trying to get hold of you.
- Oh, you mustn't do that,
I'm awfully ticklish.
Oh, will you please tell him
that Bill didn't kill that man, Fido?
-Why don't you pipe down?
- The Brown boy
is just about as guilty
as you are, Sergeant.
- So you did it.
- Why, what are you talking about?
- Oh, now don't try to
say you didn't do it,
you murdered him and you
threw him in the river
with all his clothes on too.
- Now look here, Ms, Allen.
- And don't try to alibi for him.
- Lady, please!
- You can't do that and get away with it,
even if you do say please.
If you kill a man in
this state, it's murder.
You have to buy a whole new
suit of clothes for him too.
And now, Mr. Vance, I
wanna congratulate you
on catching the real murder so quickly.
Yes, you have got the
nose of a bloodhound.
Oh, but don't you care,
otherwise, your face is pretty.
You know, with you on the case,
it's a pleasure to kill somebody.
Well, why don't you go out
and get yourself arrested?
I'm going on and tell the reporters
that you committed murder.
- Just a minute.
- Ms. Allen, please.
You try my patience!
- Oh, not now, I'm too busy.
- Now, you see what you've
gotten yourself into?
You can still with draw.
- On the contrary.
I expect to obtain a writ of habeas corpus
for the boy's immediate release.
Surely you can't expect to hold him
on some vague threat he's
supposed to have made?
- Vague threat, eh?
Just listen to this, Ms. Allen.
We are searching for a cigarette case
resembling the one Bill Brown owns.
It was left beside The Buzzard's body.
If we find it,
we are certain to prove
the boy's innocence.
- Really?
Well here it is.
It's gone!
- Is this it?
- But yes, that's it, I
found it next to the body.
- Thank you, Ms. Allen.
This is Brown's cigarette
case, your witness, sir.
- Obviously, the witness is in a
perpetual state of confusion.
- Oh, thank you, Fido.
- Well, we'll still know
exactly where we stand, come on.
- Then you admit this
is your cigarette case.
- Yes, of course.
- Can you explain how it
got into Mirche's office
beside the body Ms. Allen saw there?
- No, I haven't any idea.
- Well, then can you tell us
how it got into Ms. Allen's possession?
- No, I can't explain that either.
- Surely Mr. Brown, you can
explain the migratory habits
of your own cigarette case.
- No, I'm afraid I can't.
The last I remember seeing it
was at The Diamond Slipper.
- Of course.
- But I'm telling you the truth.
- Who helped you remove The Buzzard's body
from The Diamond Slipper?
- I never saw The Buzzard in my life.
- You are quite sure?
- Positive.
- You admit you were in
Riverford yesterday, don't you?
- Certainly.
- It was in Riverford
that the state police
lost trace of The Buzzard.
Do you still insist you
never saw him in your life?
Yes!
- The Buzzard and the accused
in Riverford the same day,
definite threats against
The Buzzard's life
admitted by the accused.
The accused's cigarette case
found next to the murdered man's body.
And against all this, not even
the semblance of an alibi.
Could anything be more conclusive?
- Yes, an established motive.
- Oh, you are just being a stubborn fool.
- You may be right.
(cars roar past)
- Oh, it's awfully sweet of you
to let me work with you, Fido.
- Oh, one thing is certain, my pet,
I can't afford to have
you working against me.
If we're ever to get young Brown freed,
I mustn't let you out of
my sight for an instant.
- Well, there she goes.
- Step on it.
- My examination of The Buzzard
leaves me with a definite conclusion
that he was the victim of
a rare and subtle poison.
The traces of which evaporated
on his being immersed in the river.
- Immersed in the river?
Oh, that's terrible,
he might have drowned.
- Miss Allen, he was dead
when they fished him out.
- Oh, well, in that case,
then I think they'll
have to throw him back.
We're awfully early, the
dancing doesn't start-
- We're not here for dancing,
we're here for clues.
- Oh, I've got a lot of clues.
- You have, where?
- In my closed closet.
- You say that, you say
that door was unlocked?
- I didn't notice, I just
turned the knob and walked in.
- If The Buzzard had been
lured here to be murdered,
that door would certainly
not have been open.
The question then is,
why should the killer
have brought the body here?
- Well, they've got a
wonderful floor show.
- Even if, even if it had been
Mirche who removed the body,
he certainly must have been
unaware of its presence
before that,
it must have been removed
immediately upon being discovered.
Could they have sneaked a dead body
in and out of here with the
place packed with people?
- No.
- How then was it accomplished?
- The back door.
- Wait, I've got an idea.
- What?
- The back door.
- Very shrewd deduction, my pet.
But there isn't any back door.
- Oh, then you must be wrong.
- And then again, there may be.
- Then I must be right.
Oh, silly, that's a wall, not a door.
Oh my goodness, what's that?
- Miss Allen, that's a, oh, never mind.
(Grace gasps)
- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to trace the fingerprints
discovered on the cigarette case.
They may reveal the
identity of the culprits
who placed the Buzzard's
body in Mr. Mirche's office.
- Oh.
- Ah, you understand?
- No.
- The only fingerprints
the police have been unable to
identify were those of a man,
a man, not Mr. Mirche and a woman.
- A mystery woman?
- Well, since these files
refuse to divulge her identity,
a mystery woman.
The discovery of whom
may lead to some very
interesting developments.
- Oh, I see.
- I doubt it.
- A mystery woman.
(keyboard clacking)
(bell tolls)
- Yes, ma'am.
- May I have the key to my,
to Mr. Buzzard's apartment, please.
- Mr. Buzzard, you mean Mr. Nelson?
- Well, that's correct too.
- Well, I'm afraid I can't open it.
- Well, you don't have to open it,
just give me the key
and I'll open it myself.
- Well, I'm sorry, but you see,
the place has been closed for over a year,
it's open only to the police.
- The police, and who are the police?
Just employees of the city.
And who is the city?
People like me.
Isn't it silly keeping me out
and letting my employees in?
- No, look here.
- Careful, remember, you
are talking to the city.
- Please, madam, get out.
- I am leaving.
12, please.
- We've only got 10, 10 and a
penthouse, but that's closed.
- Well, suppose we make it 10.
(Gracie knocks door)
(door opens)
Darling!
- Hey, what is, wait,
I don't know you lady,
wait a minute.
- (laughs) Isn't he cute?
Thank you very much.
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music continues)
(glass shatters)
(Grace screams)
(ominous music plays)
(dramatic music)
(Gracie screams)
(Gracie laughs)
(dramatic music)
(Grace screams)
(dramatic music)
(Grace yelps)
(Grace screams)
- So it was you.
- There's a woman in
there, the mystery woman,
you know the footprints of the fingers?
- No, There was no one in there but you.
- Well, she pulled a pistol
and a gun and a pistol.
I tell you, there's a woman.
- Yeah, you're quite
right, there is a woman.
- But sure, she-
- I discovered a little wall
safe and some documents.
Documents leading me to believe
that Mr. Mirche's lady friend
knows lots more than we'd suspected.
- Well, then what are we waiting for?
Let's go in and catch her, come on.
- Please, stop waving
that pistol in my face.
- This, this pistol, this is only a toy.
Look, you pull like this and goes, boom,
and then you pull it again, it goes boom,
and boom, boom, boom,
boom, isn't that cute?
(Grace laughs)
Oh, Fido, you are crying.
- I really don't need
any flowers, Fido but-
- I'm not going to buy you any,
this is merely a little scheme of mine.
I'm going to try to discover
whether the fingerprints
on the cigarette case
belonged to a certain young dancer
without arousing her suspicion
or putting her on her guard.
- Won't that be fun, come on.
Oh, what a lovely flower shop.
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
- Oh, they're gorgeous daisies.
He loves me, he loves me,
he loves me, he loves me.
- Ms. Allen!
- Shh, I wanna see how this finishes.
He loves me, he loves me, he loves me.
Well, you can't believe daisies anyhow.
Once I had one that
said my fella loved me.
Ha, I didn't even have a fella.
- Quiet please.
- Yeah, quiet please.
- How about some pansies?
- Well, frankly, my pansies are drooping.
- Oh, well, you ought to wear suspenders.
- Just give me two dozen roses.
- Yes, sir.
- They're to go to Ms. Dixie
Del Marr, Chelsea Apartments.
- Well Fido, I didn't know you and Dixie
were that way about each other.
- Please.
- Oh, I just think it's
too cute for words.
- Good, then let's not have any.
Have your messenger get her
to sign for them with this.
- Oh, yes, sir.
- Then have him wrap the pencil
carefully in the handkerchief,
I'll call for it later in the day.
- Yes, sir.
- Any card or name?
- No, just say from an admirer.
- Oh, why don't you
sign your name, bashful?
- How much please?
- $4.
- Smallest I have is 10.
- Well, that's all right,
you keep the change.
Come on, Fido.
Wasn't she nice to keep the change?
(car engine turns over and drives away)
(siren blaring)
- Extra, extra, extra, get
your money, extra, extra.
- Now, how far from the body
did you find the flower?
- How far, Hulda?
- It was right under her.
First, I think she faint,
so I tried to help her up, and then...
- Did the coroner's report arrive yet?
- Should be here any minute,
he said the flowers were
poisoned, all right.
Look, you're the manager here,
are you sure she had no visitors?
- [Manager] Positive.
- How about telephone calls?
- None that I know of.
- Who brought the flowers?
- The boy from the flower shop,
he left them at her door.
- Well, Heath, I don't know it.
Heath, what's happened?
Heath?
- He's dead.
- Lock the doors, nobody goes in or out.
And for heaven's sake, be careful,
we've got a murderous fiend on our hands.
- This ruins my hotel for sure.
- Search the place.
- Yes, sir.
- Heath, are you all right?
- Yeah, I'm all right.
- Well, what happened?
- Something hit me from up there.
- Hello.
- What are you doing here?
- Well, I just came in
to tell Mr. Del Marr
that those lovely flowers
were from Mr. Vance
on account of he was too
bashful to sign his name.
-Are you sure Mr. Vance
sent those flowers?
- Well, of course, I'm sure,
I was with him when he ordered
them, isn't it romantic?
- Those flowers were poisoned.
- Poisoned?
Oh, I think that's terrible,
he can't expect to get girls that way.
- I just heard of Ms. Del
Marr's unfortunate demise.
- Fido, I'm surprised at you.
- Frankly, Heath, this
tragic turn of events
was not entirely unexpected.
- Vance, do you realize
what you're saying?
- Most assuredly.
- Well, that's terrible.
- Vance, you said you'd
have a front page story
within 48 hours.
- I intend to make good my little promise.
- Here's something for
your front pages right now:
Mr. Vance is under arrest for
the murder of Dixie Del Marr.
- This is no time for
practical jokes, Sergeant.
- I'm not joking.
- Then you are making a fool of yourself.
- She told us all about those
flowers, they were poisoned.
- Poisoned?
- Come on, Vance.
- You blundering idiots,
you'll find yourselves back
in the traffic squad for this.
-All right, you people, you can go now.
Well, it's too bad.
- Isn't it terrible?
There's The Buzzard murdered,
and Bill, in danger of the electric chair,
Ms. Del Marr poisoned,
Fido arrested, I need a manicure.
- Arresting Philo Vance.
Sergeant, that's the most
idiotic thing you've ever done.
- I'm so confused.
Doc, this Allen woman is driving me crazy.
The man was shot, the knife
was found alongside of him.
Who do you think poisoned him?
Nobody, he hung himself.
How do you know he hung himself?
The gas jet was wide open.
Was there much gas?
He was cut from ear to ear.
Was he bleeding?
Every bone in his body was broken.
He'd been in the water for 14 hours.
The worst case of dandruff I've ever seen.
Was he dead?
Well, if he wasn't, he told me a lie.
She's driving me crazy.
- Well, what are you gonna do about Vance?
- Well, naturally, I've ordered a release.
The story that the florist told
about the flowers being left
outside Ms. Del Marr's door
where anyone could have
tampered with them,
has been corroborated by
three different people.
- Good.
(phone buzzes)
Yes?
- [Secretary] Do you
wish to see Ms. Allen?
- Heavens no, don't let her in.
- Hello.
Well, I've got it.
- You've got it, got what?
- Her picture, the mystery woman.
- Pardon me, Ms. Allen,
but I have no time to
listen to your ideas.
- Look I sneaked into The
Buzzard's apartment again,
and sure enough, there she was.
So I snapped the picture and ran.
- Well, you didn't run far enough.
- Well, I certainly did,
I ran right into the police
photographer's office
downstairs, and he's developing
the picture right now.
- Ms. Allen, please go away.
I've got no time to waste
on people who talk nonsense.
- Yeah, but I have, sit down.
Now, here's what happened.
I tiptoed into the house and nobody heard.
Fido, come here.
Oh, so you were put out of jail, huh?
Couldn't you prove that
you sent the flowers?
- Please, Ms. Allen, quiet.
- Couldn't you prove that
you sent the flowers?
- Oh, pipe down.
Mr. Vance, I'm sorry about that arrest.
- My unbounded admiration Sergeant
for the way you performed your duty.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Your turn.
- Just what do you make of
this Del Marr thing, Vance?
- Yes.
- Simple, The Buzzard was done to death.
Ms. Del Marr knew too much
and was likewise removed.
Same party, same method.
- But The Buzzard wasn't-
- Poisoned?
Yes, he was.
- No.
- But I don't understand.
- In medieval days when
according to romantic legend,
the art of a poisoner was highly regarded.
Many poisons were said to bring
death with a single whiff.
Astounding how these legends persist,
and how examples of their
apparent authenticity
crop up in modern times.
My! my' my'
- Incredible, aye?
- Indeed.
- What do you think Dr. Doremus?
- Well, Vance is nobody's fool.
- But don't you ever get lonesome?
- Ms. Allen, please.
The substance on the flowers,
and in Mr. Del Marr's lungs
was a very strange poison.
It had a faint aroma of bitter almonds.
- Bitter almonds?
Bitter almonds, where did
I hear that word before?
- The doctor just
mentioned it a second ago.
- Oh, for minute, I
thought my boyfriend Bill
mentioned it up in Riverford.
Uncle Ambrose says
that he's a wonder at mixing those things.
- Brown talked to you about
this bitter almond mixture?
- Oh, sure, he said that-
- Eureka!
- What kind of a case is this anyway?
- Well, the mystery woman.
- Let's see it.
- Mystery woman.
- Now where have I seen that face before?
Oh, isn't that funny?
No, don't tell me, let me guess.
Oh, I know that face as
well as I know my own.
Fido, Fido, oh Fido, wait for me!
Oh, I've got a good night to get good mad
and I will do, Fido!
- Hello?
- Oh, hello.
- Can I take you anywhere?
- Where are you going?
- To your way.
- Oh, good, then I'll drop you off.
- Don't lose him.
- I do wish they'd clear
this thing up and let you go.
- I've seen you so much more
since being thrown in here
and I'm beginning to like it.
- I'm getting a bit worried.
- Say, they haven't begun to plant doubts
in your mind about me, have they?
- Oh, of course not, darling.
- Well then what are you worrying about?
- Brown, I advise you not to
try and hold anything back.
Did you or did you not discuss
the poison used in the Buzzard murder
with Ms. Allen at Riverford?
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Maybe this will refresh your memory.
We discover the stuff
smells of bitter almond.
- Silence is golden son,
but not at this moment.
- Well, yes, I recall now,
I did discuss it with Ms. Allen.
- Bill!
- Oh, but it was all in a harmless way.
- Then you admit the discussion,
you admit threatening The Buzzard
and that it was your cigarette
case found next to the body.
Brown, it's about time
someone told you that
poison is not harmless.
- Ann, you don't think
I've been lying to you?
- Oh, I don't know what to think.
Ann!
- You had better tell us
everything that happened.
- Ms. Allen and I were
on a picnic at Riverford,
we were near the roadside
when a car sped by
and someone threw a lighted
cigarette into Miss Allen's lap.
It smelled of Kiss Me
perfume and bitter almond.
I knew because perfume's my business.
- Well continue.
- Well, that's all.
- That's all?
Well, I'll be a blubbering baboon.
- Markham, you are.
- What?
- My young friend practically deposits
the solution of the murder in your lap,
and you stand there proclaiming
you are a blubbering baboon.
That's a slander on baboons.
- Now see here, Vance.
- That cigarette was poisoned.
The Buzzard took one whiff of it
and departed this troubled world.
- But the body was found in the river.
- You are right, Markham,
it was taken on a sightseeing tour.
- Very interesting, Vance, but by whom?
- The Kiss Me will probably divulge that.
- See, I think Ms. Allen
still has that cigarette.
She was keeping it as a souvenir.
- Souvenir?
Exhibit A for the prosecution.
Where is she?
- We left her at my office.
- Well, let's get her before she loses it
OF poisons someone.
- You better come along with us, son.
- Yes, sir.
- I'm sorry, I haven't
time to tell you any more,
but Mr. Vance and I are hot on the trail
of the real murderer.
- I see.
- Well, this is as far as I go.
- It's kind of you to permit me,
oh, a little gift by which
to remember a lonely old man.
- Oh, I really couldn't.
Oh, smells like some kind of nuts.
Almond nuts?
Walnuts?
Forget me nuts?
- I do hope you'll like it.
No, no, no, no, not now.
When you are alone, then
you will think of me
for one brief moment at any rate.
- Oh, flirty, you're just a lady killer.
Oh, yes you are.
- No, no, really.
- You're an awfully fast
worker for an old geezer.
Well, goodbye!
- Sorry miss, Mr. Vance ain't home.
- Isn't home.
-All right, isn't home.
All the same, ain't home.
- Somebody at the door.
- That's a phone.
- Oh, probably for me.
- Sorry, miss, you can't come in.
- Well, all the calls in
my apartment are for me,
except the wrong numbers.
See now look what you've done.
Hello?
- Hello, Ms. Allen?
- I've got her.
- This is Mr. Vance
- Vance?
Oh, I'm sorry, but he's not here.
- I am Vance, no, Vance, V-A-N-C-E.
Yeah, Fido.
Now listen,
that cigarette you've been
guarding so carefully,
it's poisonous.
- Poisonous?
Oh, don't be ridic,
cigarettes can't harm you.
- I'm not talking about cigarettes.
Cigarette, that one you got
in Riverford, it's deadly!
- Oh, I don't believe it, wait a minute.
You must be mistaken, Fido,
it's not marked poisonous.
-All right, all right, just hang onto it.
Don't let it out of your
sight, we'll be right over.
Wait there.
We better hurry, gentlemen.
- My brother Louis, the
one with a sense of humor,
he smokes all the time.
Well, only yesterday he said to me.
(sirens blaring)
Now tell the truth Mr. Vance
is that brother of mine a
scream or is he a scream?
(sirens blaring)
- Look, Missy, Mr. Vance downstairs,
he just got here in police car.
- Well, well, we're certainly
living in a wonderful age.
There's Mr. Vance riding
around a police car,
and here I'm talking to
him at the same time.
I'll be right down, Mr. Vance.
- Going up-
- Going down.
- Good, so am I.
- Where's Ms. Allen?
- She gone.
- Gone?
- Did she say where she was going?
- No, sir, she just come up and go.
- I could have made sure she'd
stay by asking her to go.
- Well, what now?
- Work.
We're going to retrace
every step on the case
until we find the owner of the cigarette.
We start with the Diamond Slipper.
Does she say, Vance?
- If Ms. Allen returns,
send her right over there.
- Yes, sir, oh, Mr. Vance,
you forget your cigarette
case this morning.
- Thank you.
- Have you seen Fido?
- Fido, Fido?
- Yeah.
- Oh, you mean him?
- Oh no, Fido's much taller.
And besides, Fido is a
man and his name is Vance.
- Oh, Mr. Vance, I'm sorry,
he just went upstairs.
- Oh, oh, thank you, general.
- Going UP-
- Wait for me.
Where's Mr. Vance?
- He go down.
- Well, the general just said he went up.
- He do come up, but he going down again.
- Wow, he must be elevator crazy.
- He say for you to meet
him at Diamond Slipper,
really important.
- Oh, hello.
- That's the door.
- Oh, well then you better answer this.
Well, I do.
- Is Bill here?
- Well, no, you see he's been arrested
on account of he killed someone
and well, it's a long
story, pull up a chair.
- I just heard he's been released.
- No, isn't that wonderful?
Well, aren't you glad?
- Of course, I haven't been
able to think of anything else
for days.
- Say, you kind of like Bill, don't you?
- I love him.
- I see, and does he love you?
- Well, we talked of getting
married as soon as he was free.
- On.
- You like him too, don't you?
" Me?
Oh no, you know me, I can't
stick to any one fella.
Well, I've had dozens of them,
but here I am still
stringing them all along.
I guess I'm just a butterfly.
- Why are you dirty double cross.
- What did I tell you?
I can't let an innocent
kid go to the chair.
- Don't be a fool.
You're not sending him to the chair,
you're just minding your own business
and not starting any
more trouble around here,
do you understand?
- I'm gonna tell you, you can't stop me!
- I can't, eh?
All right, boys.
- Don't, don't let me alone, me alone.
Mr. Vance, he didn't do
it, it was all my fault.
- He's crazy.
- I'll tell you the truth
about the whole thing.
- Calm yourself my good man,
you're among friends, huh?
-All right, spill it.
- That cigarette case, I
stole it from the kid's table
while he was dancing.
- So those mysterious male
fingerprints were yours?
- Yes, sir.
I came in here to fill it
with the boss's cigarettes,
there was nobody here, nobody!
Then I heard a noise from over there.
So I got scared and I
dropped the case and ran.
And just as I was going through the door,
I ran into some woman who
gave me a note for him.
- It was from Ann Wilson,
she merely wanted Ms. Allen
and me to join her party.
- I wanted to tell you
right along, I swear,
but they wouldn't let me.
- Very interesting.
- Yes, Mirche,
we think you can be of great
help to us in this case.
- Well, I hope so, won't you
make yourselves comfortable?
- Thank you.
(phone rings)
- Hello?
- I was just with that silly Allen woman.
Did you know she was up
at Riverford that day?
- Oh yeah, she's a swell kid,
yeah, she talks a lot though.
- No fear, I gave her a
little gift, poor thing.
- Mr. Vance and some
other friends are here.
Why don't you drop over?
- Oh, he is, eh?
Well take it easy, I'll be right there.
- Okay'
It's my attorney.
- I see.
- Here, use some of this,
it'll make you feel better.
- Oh, no thanks-
- Oh, go on.
- Well.
- Sorry, but Mr. Vance
say for you to hurry.
- Forgot all about Mr.
Vance, isn't that awful?
(man whistles)
- Is anything wrong?
- That song reminds me of something.
See the picnic, oh, the cigarette.
Where's my cigarette?
- Cigarette?
- Well, I left it right on the desk,
Mr. Vance says it's poisonous.
Poisonous, Jiminy Cricket,
I put it in Mr. Vance's cigarette case!
- Why is that, to smoke it?
- They go to Diamond
Slipper, better phone.
- You took the words
right out of my mouth,
only I was just gonna say,
we ought go down there!
(Grace dials number)
Jiminy Cricket, missy, what are you doing?
- Oh, this thing is outta order,
every time I swing it around,
it comes right back again.
- The Buzzard was my friend.
I'm just as anxious to discover
his murderer as you are.
- Of course.
- Let's not have any more disturbances.
- Mr. Mirche, you drove up to Riverford
to meet The Buzzard at The
Buzzard's telephone request,
didn't show.
- Riverford?
I didn't even know he was there.
- The telephone company states
they put through a Riverford
call to your office.
Perhaps you can explain that call.
-And if I can't, does that
mean I drove up to Riverford?
- I'm afraid, Mr. Mirche, it does.
- Taxi, Taxi.
- All of them when you no want cabs, cabs.
All of them when you
do want cabs, no cabs!
- [Doorman] There might
be one down at the corner.
(car hoots)
- Diamond Slipper, quick.
- What?
- Oh, please, do you wanna
make a widow outta Mrs. Vance?
- Vance?
- Yes.
- Oh, Philo Vance?
There ain't no Mrs. Vance.
- Oh no, what do you think
his mother's name is, Smith?
- Now you listen to me.
- Oh, quick hurry or he'll be dead.
-All right, but this better not be
one of them fraternity initiation gags.
- No, it isn't.
(Engine turns over)
- There she go.
- Come on, let's hurry.
(car and bike engines rumble)
- Mirche, supposing I were to tell you
that we've got the cigarettes you used
in poisoning Benny The Buzzard?
- You know Vance, you and
I are in the same boat.
Neither one of us knows
what you're talking about.
Warm?
- Me, no?
No, I feel fine.
- [Vance] You are
perspiring rather freely.
- Oh, oh, that?
- Oh, I guess it is a bit stuffy in here.
- Lovely handkerchief, may I see it?
- Sure.
- Lovely perfume too, isn't it?
- It's Kiss Me.
- So that's the stuff I smelled
when I first walked into this office.
- Quite right, Mr. Markham,
the cigarette in question had
the aroma of bitter almond.
It also had the fragrance of Kiss Me,
which betrays the fact that it
had been in your possession.
You threw the cigarette
out of the death car
after it had killed The Buzzard,
and it landed on Ms. Allen's dress.
- So Ms. Allen is the big
brain behind all this nonsense?
(sirens blaring)
- It's all crystal clear, Mirche.
Ms. Del Marr only
pretended to care for you
in order to find out
whether you and your associates
had framed The Buzzard,
the man she really loved.
- Dixie hardly knew The Buzzard.
- A little document I found
in his safe says otherwise.
This marriage certificate attests the fact
that they had been married secretly
for three weeks when you had him sent up,
so there'd be one less to
share your foul profits with.
- You are crazy!
- She knew that you'd stop at nothing
to get The Buzzard out of the way.
So she followed you to Riverford
in her car to warn him.
Unfortunately, you had already
kept your little rendezvous with him.
Intent upon having you found out,
she took the corpse
from where you'd left it
and dragged it here through that door.
- Say, I'll bet she was the woman
that telephoned right
before Ms. Allen did.
- She even placed our
Young Knight cigarette case
near the body
thinking, of course it was Mr. Mirche's.
Her fingerprints on the
case are unmistakable proof.
But I-
- Yes. Markham,
they matched with those on this pencil
with which she signed for the flowers.
- Well, weren't the flowers
left outside her door?
- Well, not finding Ms. Del Marr at home,
the delivery boy left
the flowers at her door
where they were murderously tampered with.
He managed, however, to
get her to sign for them
as she entered the lobby.
- Well.
- Well, Lawrence,
they're trying to implicate
me in the Buzzard murder.
- Absurd.
- Well, do something!
- Patience, please.
After all, I'm only your attorney.
- I'm afraid it'll take
more than an attorney
to get you out of this.
Mr. Lawrence, we have
enough on your client
to get him a season ticket
to the electric chair.
You see, we've got Mr. Mirche
as he so quaintly puts it
himself, "dead to rights".
(motorcycle engine roars)
(sirens blaring)
- Well, gentlemen,
under the circumstances,
I think perhaps I had better
withdraw from the case.
- What?
- Irrevocable judgment, Mr. Lawrence.
- Why, you dirty, double crosser,
are you trying to get me out of the way
so you can run the whole town yourself?
- Well, the poor man, he's hysterical.
- Come on, Mirche.
- Wait a minute, he
engineered the whole thing.
- He's mad.
- Vance, this isn't my kind of a job,
you know it's too fancy for me.
- Yes, you are a good soldier Mirche,
but I always did think
you lacked imagination.
I do believe there was a mastermind.
- Maybe you're right.
I think you better come
along too, Mr. Lawrence.
- Now remember,
you are acting solely on
the word of this one man,
without a particle of evidence.
I need hard to remind you
of my reputation in the
community and my profession?
- If I remember correctly, Mr. Lawrence,
the Bar Association has wisely
commenced disbarment
proceedings against you.
- That is another fib.
(Motorcycle engine rumbles)
- Well then gentlemen,
arrest me if you wish,
but you'll regret it, both of you.
- Perhaps we are acting a bit
hastily in Lawrence's case.
- You are the district attorney.
- We'll just take him
along for the time being.
- Come on.
- Come on, get 'em up, all of you.
I may get the hot seat for this boys,
but there are two of you guys
who won't have the pleasure
of seeing me get it.
- Oh, Fido's getting robbed.
- I'm sorry about you, Vance,
but I can't afford to have
you loose on my trail.
- Very flattering.
- Wait a minute!
- Can't a condemned man
have a couple of puffs on a cigarette
before he takes his final bow?
- Sure, Harry, you get it for him.
- Too bad about you, Mirche,
you do have the instincts of a gentleman.
- Okay, will you join me?
- Sure, you better light it for me.
- Pleasure
- There he is!
Gosh, I'm glad I hit you.
- I'm glad you find it fun.
- Oh, well that cigarette
may be the poisoned one.
- What?
- Whew.
- Nice work boys, but what brought you?
- That dame tipped me off.
- Well, congratulations Ms. Allen.
You had the solution to
the mystery all the time.
-Oh Huh?
Well, oh sure, but nobody ever asked me.
- Oh, I see.
Let's get going, men.
- You are not getting
away with this, Lawrence.
- Don't you dare yell at him,
he's my friend, aren't you, Mr. Geezer?
- Wait a minute, did you say
this man was your friend?
- Oh sure, he gave me this
bottle of Kiss Me, here smell.
- That's awfully pale for Kiss Me.
Bitter Almond.
- You're a lucky little one,
that's the stuff he put on the flowers
that killed Dixie Del Marr.
-All right, Lawrence.
- This is an outrage-
- How do you feel now, mastermind?
- Well, goodbye, it's
been nice knowing you.
- Oh, thanks, it's been
nice knowing me too.
- Are you all right?
- You feel all right, Mr. Vance?
- [Vance] Yes, I'm all right.
- Go on, kiss her.
- Oh, there you are.
- Hello.
- Now, who are these men?
- Oh, I hired these two
gentlemen as my bodyguards,
but I won't be needing you boys anymore.
From now on, I'll be working with Fido.
I'm gonna be the silent partner.
Well, goodbye.
Well, goodbye.
Hello.
Well, goodbye, goodbye.
(upbeat music)