The Great Pretender (2018) Movie Script
1
My Life has been a
series of bad decisions
Because of this I found
myself in a strange bar
in a strange country
waiting for the man who
turned my heart to dogshit.
- May I have a glass
of red wine, please?
- We
only have Chianti.
- What kind?
- Chianti.
- Okay.
- This place is a
dump, a real shit hole.
Yeah.
So what's your story?
- What?
- What's your
story, are you visiting?
- I just moved back to
America for a bit, thank you.
- Well, cheers to you.
- Cheers.
- Yes.
Cheers to not being
scared, I ain't scared.
I know what to do in
case of a nuclear attack.
Trick is, get away from the
densely populated areas,
get your ass out to the
woods, like upstate,
you know, they got
trees, real trees,
not this little twig.
Nick was punishing me.
Making me meet him somewhere
where the wine is corked.
Before I met up with him
I decided to visit places
where we used to go together.
Am I a masochist.
Of course I am.
But the places we used to go
aren't the same.
The people have grown younger
while we have grown older.
Nick would always talk about
how he felt we
were like gorillas.
From the same...
What the hell do
gorillas travel in?
It doesnt' matter anymore.
He called me his little cat.
How silly relationships are.
Nick was the exact
opposite of the kind of guy
I thought I would
fall for as a girl.
But he was so broken
I wanted to lick the
pain right off his face.
My
mind drifted again to my father.
I will never forget when he--
- Oxygen, you know,
and they clean the air,
that way you can breathe
better, and think,
yeah, 'cause it's gonna
get crazy, I tell you.
Shit, you know,
buildings going down
in flames and shit, mm-mm.
I got me a tent, I
don't even need a
domicile,
I got me a tent, I just
lay out in the grass,
pop my tent, boop, I'm good.
- I don't understand,
you talk so fast.
- Well, better to talk
fast than not at all.
You're not into
that, huh, talking?
Yeah.
You got the face for quietness,
you ain't gotta say a word.
- Okay, Barry.
Move.
I'll wait forever
Even though it's
the end of the world
- Hey,
beer and a shot?
- Hi.
- Hi.
Even though it's
the end of the
World
- I wanted to talk to you.
I wrote a play.
It's about us.
And I would like you to read it.
- Okay, all right.
- Look, it's honest.
- It's confessional.
- Is there a difference?
- Yeah, honesty's hard.
- Okay.
The lead actress, she
wants to meet you,
she thinks it would help her
to discover her character,
and I think it
will help her, too.
Obviously it would be a
tremendous favor to me.
Maybe you owe me a favor.
Look.
I know how things
are between us,
but you know how
much it means to me.
I've been writing the
play my entire life.
- You gonna take your
shoes off, or what?
- There's no time for
naked feet.
- Come on, make
yourself comfortable.
- Listen,
it's.
It's about my father,
too, it's about,
it's about what happened
when I went back to France.
You throw it away
before that part.
- All right, all right,
show me a picture.
- Of who?
- Of the actress.
- You want to see
if she's pretty?
- You jealous?
- She's pretty.
- All right, I'll
make you a deal.
I'll meet her if you have
sex with me one last time.
- Oh, that's a good joke.
- I'm serious, come on.
- I know you're serious.
- I'm just
trying to help you out,
I want to see if she's
a good actor or not,
you know, can she act like
you, can she fuck like you?
- And you made yourself sick,
your breath smells like death.
- You miss your gorilla, though.
- No.
- You don't miss your gorilla?
- I don't miss my gorilla.
Don't do the gorilla.
- I told you no shoes.
- You will come to see
the play, won't you?
You will come to see it?
- Take off your shoes.
Nick
taught me to be impulsive.
We would throw parties, then
escape to have sex outside.
I would imagine he was a
stranger, which got me so wet.
But I knew I was safe
because it was him.
My big gorilla.
Now he is really a stranger.
- It's honest.
- It's confessional.
- Is there a difference?
- You take the most, I'm
sorry, can we do it again?
Ugh, the grad thing's weird.
The next day in rehearsal,
I could barely hold
myself together.
The grad thing, I'm
just trying to figure out how
to make it feel, it
feels kind of corny, but.
- It's honest.
- It's confessional.
- Is
there a difference?
- You take the most intimate
details from our lives,
you twist it around to
where I'm the bad guy,
and then you don't even
do me the basic courtesy
of telling me about it,
is there a difference?
Sorry, what are we doing?
Hey.
- I'm sorry.
- You all right?
- Yeah.
Some men make you cry,
others let you cry on them.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Thank you for helping
me through today.
The director is supposed to
treat the actors like babies,
not the other way around.
- Oh, don't feel bad about it,
the material's hard, you
know, it's your life.
- Yeah, my life, I have
some imagination, don't I?
- I have to tell
you, I think that
what you're doing with
this play, it's really--
- Boring.
- No.
- Predictable.
- No.
- Self-indulgent,
exploitative, cruel?
- No,
brave,
I could never put my life
on the line like that, I mean,
nothing has ever really
happened in my life, anyway.
- I can
only cum during sex
if I know I'm gonna
get my heart broken.
- Do you have a room?
- It's too far.
Is this a bad idea?
Ow, fuck.
- I just want, like,
when you see a baby,
you want to bite him.
- Oh.
Usually, when I
actually love a girl,
I have a hard time, you
know, lasting, I did my best
to make sure I didn't
embarrass myself with Mona.
I thought of my roommate
clipping his toenails,
but it didn't matter,
the sex was just too intense
for her, she fell asleep.
I wanted to keep
fucking for sure,
I hadn't come from
a woman in months,
but just watching her
sleep, that was enough.
Usually when I watch
girls sleep in my bed,
they just look like
aliens, it's weird
to sleep next to
an alien, but Mona,
she felt like a human, she
felt like my kind of human.
- Which came first,
the chicken or the egg?
Feel free to ponder
this age old question
as you let the eggs
fry in the pan.
It's important to
give yourself a break,
just watch the eggs.
Don't need to think about
it, it's a beautiful sight,
isn't it, just enjoy
it, don't think.
- I heard a corny
joke the other day.
- I need a coffee.
- Coffee.
Did you sleep all right?
- I had a dream
I was a
black widow spider.
- Mm-hmm?
- They kill
their mates, you know?
- That's neat.
Fuck, ah!
I had met Mona at a party
at her ex-boyfriend's house
after one of her plays,
it was a really personal play,
and I told her that I liked it.
Looking at her was like
looking at a sunset,
it gave me a boner.
- On the Uber ride here, we
passed this liquor store,
Raul's Liquor, and I
just thought to myself,
like, who is Raul, you know,
like what is his story,
what is his day like, you know,
a liquor store would be a
great setting for.
- Totally.
- Raul doesn't want
you tell his story,
Raul just wants you
to buy his beer.
What did you like about my play?
- I thought it was
self-deprecating
without being self-indulgent.
- You get a gold star.
- Whoa, that's too
much food to eat.
- I had to make breakfast
for myself, anyway.
Are the eggs okay?
- Oh, I don't like eggs.
- Oh.
- Sorry.
- It was honestly one
of the best mornings of my life.
The only problem was
when I went inside,
my pee really hurt.
- Unfortunately,
you've tested positive
for gonorrhea, we do
have an antibiotic
for you to take, the
next step is for you
to notify any sexual
partners you've had
in the last 60 days.
- Well, you didn't
get it from me,
I get checked constantly.
- I'm not accusing you,
I'm just telling you
what I have to
tell you, the fact
that you get checked
constantly is a little--
- I'm not
gonna let you shame me.
You know, underneath
this mister-nice-guy act
is a real passive aggressive
asshole, I see through it.
- I don't care what
Hannah says, I'm a good guy,
deep down, when it
counts, in a life
or death situation, like
when a ship's sinking,
I help the women
and children first.
It was clear Mona was
developing real feelings for me,
so I needed to give her
the news the right way,
I planned on making my puppy
dog face when I told her.
- Oh, hey, you're the
guy from the show, right,
the Clown Academy?
- Yeah.
- Why aren't you
doing that anymore?
- They killed my character.
Yep, the puppy dog
face, my secret weapon,
my ace in the hole.
- Hey,
can I have a cigarette?
- Sorry, this is
my last one, man.
- Please,
just one cigarette?
- Sorry.
- Oh, please?
- To the outside
world, it looks spontaneous,
but only I know it's
totally calculated,
I control my every tick,
why don't I get more work?
Fuck, I gotta learn my lines.
At another time in my life,
I probably would have gotten
with Thrse just to do it,
but now I'm a one woman guy,
and I don't want to lead her on.
Yeah, good guy.
- Are you uncomfortable
with me?
- No, no, I'm just having a
weird day, I was at the doctor--
- Nothing serious, I hope.
- No, it was just the flu.
- Mm.
Few.
- No, the flu.
- No, no, no, I mean the few,
like,
a few.
You know?
- Oh, yeah, that's good.
- Should we try the kiss?
- Yeah.
All right, let's
do the whole thing.
- Yeah.
- I guess I would expect
nothing less from you.
- It's honest.
- It's confessional.
- Is
there a difference?
- Yeah, honesty's hard.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Okay, so you must
be Thrse, right?
- You must be Nick.
- You look nice.
Well, shall we?
- Yeah, okay.
See you tomorrow.
- Bye.
- You walk so fast,
you'd think you're
from New York.
I knew I had to tell her about
the gonorrhea at some point,
it was looming over me all day.
Hey, I never told you that joke,
it's kind of corny,
but it goes--
- I'm writing.
- What's that?
- I'm writing, in my head,
I'm writing in my head.
Sometimes when I walk,
I'm writing in my head,
it's nothing personal,
it's just, you know.
- Yeah, say no
more, do your thing.
I'd tell her when we got inside,
that way I could do
my puppy dog face.
I knew I had to tell her
before we had sex, though.
Okay, I would tell
her after we had sex.
You're so beautiful.
- Don't say that.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Stop apologizing,
you little pussy.
- That was
it, I lose all control
when girls talk to me like I'm
dirt, I tried to think fast.
You're seriously kicking
me out right now?
- Yeah, I'm feeling
very confused,
I have to wake up
early tomorrow morning.
- Can you understand why I might
be feeling suicidal right now?
- Yeah, okay, I feel
that way all the time,
you go on living, or you don't.
I can't stand here all night
going in circles with you.
- I know, but I feel
like we just have
to address this
thing between us.
- What, but the only thing
between us is this door.
I told her, you can't
spend the night here.
- I have to tell you something.
- What?
What on earth are you
doing with that face?
- Huh?
Hey, Kelly, how's it going?
- Not bad, not bad.
- Is Hannah working tonight?
- Later, you want me
to tell her you stopped by?
- No, I'll just hang out,
can I get a Jameson on the
rocks when you get a chance?
- You got it.
- How's it going?
And it's, like, very
hard to be attracted
to somebody that's
attracted to you, it's like
your tastes seem
to be very shitty,
and that's, you
know, taste matters.
- Man, what do you
do for work, for a living?
- Nothing, worse than
nothing, I'm an actor.
- Hey,
Hannah's not coming in,
she said something
about an audition.
- Yeah, of course.
Can I have one more?
- Coming up.
- What do
you do for work?
- Sanitation.
- Cheers.
I knew I shouldn't call
her, I'm a good guy,
really, deep down,
when it counts,
when the ship is sinking,
women and children first,
women and children--
- Howdy, stranger.
- Hi.
- Did
I say that right?
- Yeah, it was
perfect, thanks for coming.
- Mm-hmm.
- Cheers.
- Yeah.
You shouldn't drink
when you have the flu.
- What the fuck
are you talking about?
Kelly, have one more,
and what do you want?
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- Did you finish?
- No.
I'm a good guy.
When it counts.
Hello.
Mommy, guess what?
Another Crush?
Don't be so condescending!
This one is serious.
How serious?
Let's just put it this way:
I made him breakfast
this morning.
You cooked for him?
Yes!
You will never see him again.
What?
Oh.
- Time
to start the day.
- Great.
- Handsome.
I hope you don't mind, I watched
you sleep for a few hours.
- That's fine.
- What?
- You watched me
sleep for a few hours?
- You snore like a grizzly.
- Fuck.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I
just need, like--
- Advil?
- Yeah.
- Water?
Bread.
- Bread?
- Eat up so.
when we were having.
- Sex.
- Yes!
Do you remember what you said?
- Hmm?
- Do you remember what you said?
- Thrse, I don't
really remember anything
about last night.
It was black out, do you
understand black out, black out?
- Yeah, black out.
- Yeah, yeah, I don't want this.
Black out.
- Silly grizzly.
Come on, let's take a shower.
- I'm fine, thank you though.
- Oh, no fun.
- Yeah.
- Come on, let's get clean.
- No, I can't, I'm a
shower every other day guy,
today's an off day, I
can't break the rotation,
I have sensitive skin.
- Sensitive to what?
- To water.
- Oh.
If you want to join me, there's
plenty of room.
Are they horrible?
- No, no.
Not horrible.
- Yeah.
I was raised with
chefs in the house,
so I never really
learned how to cook.
But I'm trying.
- I think I'm gonna leave, I'm
not really feeling very well.
Thanks for breakfast, though.
- Wait.
- Look, I know
that we should probably
talk about what--
- I was just going
to ask for a kiss.
- Oh.
For Your Information, mother,
he loved the
breakfast I made him.
- Five, six, seven, eight.
She told me not to tell
any of the other students but
she said I'm top of the class.
Hey, Thrse, I don't know
what you're doing here,
but you just gotta
get out of your head,
okay, and just feel it.
- Yeah.
- One, two, three, and four,
one, two, three, and
four, five, and six.
It's not about the dancing,
though, I've made so many
great friends in class.
Three and four, five and
six, seven and eight,
now go to your left,
two, three, four.
Mommy, I love daddy,
but why couldn't you have
had me with a black man?
I'm not having
this conversation again.
Tell me about your friends.
They're so wonderful.
Liz is so sweet and caring.
She's a good listener,
and she makes sure
everything is fair.
- Everyone should
get a little piece.
- Great, a half of a half
of a piece of cheese.
And Joyce is so strong
and sassy, just
like the ones on TV.
- So T.
- What?
- Any new developments
on the Chris front?
- Not really.
- Oh.
- I think he likes Mona, and
I think she likes him back.
And yesterday, he had a big
bite that I think came from her.
- So what, swoop in there,
no way that bitch
is cuter than you.
- This bitch may not
be cuter than me,
but she's a more beautiful
bitch than I, inside and out.
- She's probably
confusing her feelings
for Chris with her feelings
for her ex-boyfriend.
- Maybe.
- You know what you should do?
- What?
- You should wait for this
whole crazy-ass play to be over,
then Mona's gonna see she
doesn't have any real feelings
for Chris, unless he's
playing her ex-boyfriend.
Then, when she dumps his
ass, he's gonna be all,
"Oh, woe is me," then
who's gonna be there,
waiting on the rebound?
- You.
- So you're, you're saying
I should go on a date
with Mona's ex-boyfriend
to make her jealous?
- That's literally not even
close to what I just said.
- Then Chris will be all
mine for the rebound.
- But see, you've
got it all wrong.
So I decided
to go ahead with Joyce's plan.
I called Mona for an
emergency meeting.
I told her I wanted
to meet her ex
so I could better
understand my character.
At first, she was
resistant to the idea,
but I eventually convinced her.
She even thanked me for caring
so much about the project.
Introduce me or I quit.
Thrse, remember
in grade school when you
called the girlfriends of boys
you liked and told
them they were dead?
Yes, I was so young and silly.
- Hey, Ms. Independence,
you look good today.
- Thank you.
No one liked you
after that, remember?
Remember how much you cried
when the whole
school shunned you?
How you slept in my
bed for a year after?
Mother,
Stop using the past against me!
I just don't want
you to get hurt again.
You don't get hurt like other
people, you come undone, baby.
You become dangerous
to yourself.
Oh, mommy! You worry too much.
Chris has such a beautiful
beard. It's clean,
perfectly trimmed --
Like the pubic hair of
a respectable woman.
Oh, cookie.
Don't make an old woman puke.
And his hands --
They are strong, capable, but
not paw-like like daddy's.
And he has the most beautiful
eyes you've ever seen.
So much mystery behind them.
You want to jump into
them naked and drown.
Baby, remember your
co-star in that dreadful
rendition of Three Sisters?
You said the same
thing about his eyes.
And your co-star in that
deodorant commercial?
You said the same
thing about his eyes.
Even that boy who played Romeo
to your Juliet in 6th grade--
Oh, mother!
Would you stop
living in the past?
Should we try the kiss?
- Yeah.
Chris is different.
When we kissed, it was like
a million fireworks went off
inside me all at once.
With the other boys, it was
just like...toy sparklers.
That night, I was
rehearsing my lines --
What about your date
with Mona's ex-boyfriend?
Did you actually
go through with it?
Huh?
- You must be Nick.
I just want to understand the
relationship from your point
of view so I can tell the
story more truthfully.
It's your story, too.
- Who gives a shit?
- I give a shit.
Bite me, bite me.
- Hmm?
- Would you, would you bite me?
I like to be bitten.
Yeah.
Yes.
Ow!
- What?
- Not that hard.
- I'm sorry.
- Did you leave a mark?
- I mean, yeah.
Maybe.
Hey.
- Okay.
You dirty old man.
- What?
Oh, yes.
It was relatively painless.
Anyway, that night I
was rehearsing my lines
when out of the
blue Mona Skyped me.
Hello?
Mona
Thrse, can you hear me?
Yes. I hear you.
- Cool.
How
do you make the box
that shows my face disappear?
I don't know.
I
only want to see you.
Your beautiful. You really are.
Are you okay?
I may have
just driven a man to suicide.
Oh, I'm sorry.
And I ate some pot brownies.
Have you ever smoked pot?
How often do you get drunk?
Almost never
I'm a square, I guess.
How
was your date with Nick?
I don't care, don't tell me.
I just wanted to see your face.
Your beautiful face...
Touch my finger.
Anyway, I'm actually glad
you made me see my
ex the other night
I wrote a new scene
based on the experience.
Oh, fantastic!
It might suck
because I'm stoned.
Do you think you can have
it memorized by tomorrow?
Yes, but it depends on
how many pages it is--
Great.
- You drink to have had
happiness, you know why, because,
okay, you dreamed to have
had happiness, you know why,
because in order
to be happy, one
must first be brave,
one must first be brave.
You drink to avoid happiness,
you know why, because
in order to be happy,
one must first be brave,
yeah, you could let go
of your misery if you--
Hello?
- Hey.
- Howdy, stranger.
- Hey.
- Did
I say that right?
- Yeah, no, that was perfect.
Thanks for coming.
- Mm-hmm.
- Cheers.
- Yeah.
You shouldn't drink
when you have the flu.
- What the fuck are
you talking about?
Can I get one more,
and what do you want?
- I'll just have a pinot grigio.
- You got it.
- Thank you.
So?
Have you read the new lines?
- The new lines?
- Mm-hmm.
- We open in a week.
- Yeah, Mona had yet another
burst of inspiration.
- Fucking bitch,
you know, some people,
if you're not as
fucked up as they are,
then they're just, you're
uninteresting to them,
you know, you're worse than
that, you're disposable.
- Did she give you that bite?
- If you're
decent, you're disposable.
- I have a bite, too.
You drink to avoid happiness,
you know why?
Because in order to be happy,
one must first be brave.
You could let go of your
misery if you wanted to,
but you won't.
- I love you.
He said he loves me, Mommy!
Well I'm glad
you met someone.
Just try not to get
carried away this time.
I won't always be here
to pick up the pieces.
Oh, mommy, don't say that!
You'll be around for
a good long while.
Thrse, sweetie,
you must accept the
reality of the situation.
Chemo only prolongs
the inevitable--
La, La, La! Okay mommy,
I should go rehearse.
I'll send you some
photos of Chris sleeping.
You should have heard him
snore. My big grizzly.
Okay.
I cant' wait to see
him. Love you, baby.
Love You!
- The day after
Nick's 10th wedding anniversary,
he found himself day
drinking in the park.
He was taking pictures
of old people,
thinking about how he
himself would soon be old,
forgotten, unable to remember
the things he once wanted
to do, as he contemplated
his own demise,
two girls with
perfect skin appeared,
seemingly out of
nowhere, one was Chilean,
and exuded a youthful confidence
that Nick could only
understand as arrogance.
"She probably fucks rock
stars, and eats organic candy,
"and practices some
bastardized form of meditation
"that requires no work,"
these were the thoughts
that raced through Nick's
head as he took her picture
with the intention of
jerking off to it later.
Her friend, though,
had sad eyes,
she wore a dumb hat,
and her name was Mona.
They went to a bar,
the Chilean took off
because she couldn't
keep up with him.
Mona talked excessively
about her own life,
she was a good storyteller,
she had a dark sense
of humor, of someone who's
lived, and boy, could she drink.
Nick began spending a dangerous
amount of time with Mona.
They would sit on the same
park bench for hours on end,
taking pictures of crazy people.
Mona was the first
woman that seemed
to genuinely like
Nick since his wife,
but his wife had long since
realized the charms she saw
in Nick as a younger person
were entirely imagined.
She no longer supported
his photography, or choice
in facial hair, Mona, Nick
thought, understood him
for the sweaty, misunderstood
genius beast he was,
mostly, though, she
was just so beautiful.
- I'm still going through
changes you've been
through yourself,
you know?
You'll always be 10
steps ahead of me.
- See, what you just
said, that was amazing,
I could have never
formulated a thought like
that at your age.
So you're mature for your
age, I'm immature for mine.
- Come on, that's
every guy who's dating
a younger girl will say
that, it's so cliche.
- Well, then I'm a cliche.
- Yeah, you're a cliche.
- I don't mind being a cliche
if that means being with you.
- I don't think you
should leave your wife.
- Hey, Gorilla.
- Hey.
- Oh, you're hanging your
pictures like I told you to.
- Uh-oh, oh, it's
dripping, oh, shit.
Oh, it's gonna drip on
you, oh, no, I didn't mean
to do that, I just held my
ice cream over your face.
- Why we took
this, it's, is just,
I don't like vanilla,
I prefer chocolate.
- Van-iy-a?
- Van-i-ya.
- Did I say van-i-ya?
- No.
- Did you say what?
- What the fuck is van-iy-a?
- I want to put
vanilla on your nose.
- No, stop.
- I don't want it
anymore, can I give it to you?
- Stop.
- Uh-oh.
- Stop.
- You just didn't,
once you push like,
once you see it's not--
- I didn't say anything.
- Oh, I know, he's.
- Should I try
to go and get him?
- No, he
gets really angry.
You okay, dude?
- Are you okay?
- What?
- Are you okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm sorry.
- Nick could feel
Mona growing disinterested
by the complications
of his very adult life,
so he tried to integrate
himself into her world.
My times will turn to guns
If I find Brad had sex
If I find Brad had sex
If I find Brad had sex
- What?
- Yes, what do you mean?
Why are you making me sound
like the fucking idiot?
- You're crazy
about this, it's--
- Oh, I'm
crazy about this?
- I never said that.
- I'm Chris, by the way.
I never got to tell you
how much I loved that play.
- How long is this
shithead is gonna be,
I'm gonna piss my pants.
- You're not wearing any pants.
- What?
- You're not
wearing any pants.
- No, just these
beautiful tights,
it would be so sad if I
got piss all over them.
I really need to go back home,
I need to take care of him.
- How long
will you be gone?
- My mom's just completely
abandoned him, there's no one.
He's my father, and he's
drinking himself to death now.
- Please leave a
message after the beep.
- Hey, Mona, yeah, it's me.
I know you're going
through a lot, but,
I mean, can you at
least call me back?
I mean, I haven't talked to
you in, like, over a month.
Hold on, that's you,
disregard this message.
Hey.
Mona?
Mona.
I swear to god, if
this is a butt dial,
I'm gonna fucking lose it, Mona!
Fuck!
- Nick knew Mona
couldn't abandon her father,
but he couldn't go a moment
without imagining her being
fucked by some dirty Frenchman.
- And, you know.
- Yeah, you have a lot of
moles, you know, but why not?
- That's
about all I know.
- You know.
- Bonjour!
- Sorry, let's go home.
- Bonjour!
- Bonjour!
- Bonjour!
- Bonjour!
- Bonjour!
- Let's go
outside, get some air.
- Bonjour!
Get some air,
let's get some air.
- When she returned
from France, Nick vowed
to end it, no matter what,
his dignity depended on it.
- Your stuff's
packed up over there.
What?
- My father died.
- And just
like that, it was as
though the past six months
had never even happened.
it seemed like Nick might be
living out his own version
of a happy ending.
Then Mona casually mentioned
she had an affair in France.
She claimed it was born
out of emotional distress,
and the whole ordeal
just made her realize
how much she needed him.
He wanted to forgive her,
he tried to forgive her,
but every time he
closed his eyes.
- Nick.
- What'd you say?
- What?
- It sounded
like you just said Nico.
- What?
- You just said Nico.
- I said Nick.
- One
morning, Nick woke up
to find a note from Mona,
she hadn't dotted her Is
with hearts like
she usually did.
The note read, "To
my big gorilla,
"it was nice to share
a dream with you,
"but now I am awake, I
wish there was some way
"of doing this to hurt you less.
"I wish I didn't care
about you, but I do.
"I begged you not to
make me your home.
"What do you have
to go back to now?"
- Hey, Henry.
Henry!
Henry.
Hey.
- What the hell are you doing?
- I'm here to pick up
Henry, where is he?
- No, no, keep your voice down,
you were supposed to be here
hours ago, and you're drunk.
You're drunk.
- I don't care, he's
my fucking son, where--
- Go inside, listen,
Nick, come on,
let's make this nice, come on.
- All right, I'm very peaceful,
I'm just going up to get my son.
- I don't--
- I'm just going
up to get my son.
- Let's not make it
uncomfortable, all right?
Stay composed, composure.
- All right, you make a
very good point, Jerry,
all right, you win,
I'll see you later,
this is inappropriate,
I'm sorry.
- Now, get
up, get up, get up.
- You fucking
hurt me, I'll fucking.
- Nick, Nick,
please, Nick, please.
- Wait, no.
- Close the door,
close the door, close the door.
- Come on, come on,
I'll fuck my way through
you to get to my son.
- Hey, thanks
for setting me up
with that crazy bitch
the other night.
Look, I just wanted
to let you know
I'm not gonna come tonight,
I guess I'm supposed
to wish you luck or something.
I hope this play
helps you get over
whatever you need to get over.
Wear some lipstick tonight, oh,
and I might have
given you gonorrhea.
- Howdy.
- Hey.
- Pre-show jitters?
Maybe I can help you
to get rid of them.
- I just have to do some
breathing exercises, so.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- You're shaking.
- I can't do this.
- What do you mean?
- I mean, I'm not an actor.
- Of course you are.
- No, no.
Some guys overheard me
imitating my parents at a mall
when I was 16, put me in a
Saturday morning kid's show,
and I'm just bullshitting
ever since then,
but I haven't been on stage
since I was in the sixth grade.
- I'm sure you were great.
- I was a tree.
- I'm sure you
were a great tree.
- I just feel like if I
blow this, then I will,
I'm not gonna be able
to come back, you know?
- Aw, silly grizzly.
You're good, okay?
It's your lack of energy
that makes you exciting,
and you have me to guide you.
- Mm-hmm.
- What more could you ask for?
- Just finish quick.
- What, what was that?
- What was what?
Hey.
- Of course.
Your big night,
your big premier,
everything you
wrecked our lives for,
everything you wrecked
your own life for has come
to fruition, and how
are you handling it?
Like a little baby, in way
over her head, like always?
You should just stay down.
I'd cry too if I were you,
whole self image wrapped up
in this grand notion you
have of yourself as a writer,
and yet you're
incapable of writing
about anything except
yourself, now, is that writing,
or is that just publicly crying?
The world is going to
shit, not in some far off,
abstract way, but in real ways
that affect the lives
of people you know,
and yet you refuse
to look outward
because you're so
goddamned interesting.
- I
thought you loved me.
- You're like a drug,
you're like a drug
that re-enters my life--
- I thought, I thought, I
thought you, you loved me.
- You're like a
drug that re-enters my life.
You're like a drug
that re-enters my life
after I've gone
through all the--
- Can you
forget the line--
- You're like--
- Can you be real,
do you have a real
in you, do you?
- You're like a drug that--
- You
said you loved me.
- You're like a drug that
re-enters my life after--
- You
said you loved me.
- I.
You're like a drug--
- Why
did you say that?
Why did you say you loved me?
- Because I fucking meant it.
I always have.
Fuck this guy, come on, kitty,
you can do this, all right?
Come on, you got this, let's
do the material justice.
- I can't,
I'm covered in snot,
and I don't have a
tissue, okay?
- Here, use this.
Hey.
Come on.
The show must go on.
- I thought you hated this play.
- It's honest.
- It's confessional.
- What's the difference?
- Honesty is hard, I never
really got the hang of it.
- Hey, neither did I.
- When you left your wife
without telling me--
- I felt obligated to
at least give us a shot.
But I know, you weren't
really ready to settle down.
- Our
entire relationship,
I never really needed you,
that's probably what
attracted you to me,
and
when
I finally
did need you,
you weren't there.
- When I think
about what happened
when you went back to France,
what your father did to you,
I get so mad, I don't
know what to do.
- The only way I knew
how to deal with it was
to turn my mind off,
and follow my body.
It led me
to other bad places,
it led me to other men,
sometimes it felt, it felt good.
Sometimes it,
it didn't, but,
in the end,
it was
the coping mechanism,
and nothing more.
I tried to make you understand.
But you, you wouldn't listen.
- When we talked about it,
it made it real, and I had
to push it down, that's why I
started drinking like crazy,
it made it easier for me
to twist things so that,
you know, I saw
you as the bad guy.
It was easier for me to
see you as the bad guy,
instead of the
victim that you were,
but we don't have to be
defined by what we did.
All this time
alone, I've realized
that waking up without you
is like not waking up at all,
I'm old, I'm tired,
but I promise you,
all I want to do is take care
of you, be there for you.
Please, Mona, what do you say?
How about a happy ending?
My Life has been a series
of bad decisions
Perhaps I thought I could make
my life story worth telling,
I could make it a life
worth living as well.
I say his name a
hundred times a day.
My Life has been a
series of bad decisions
Because of this I found
myself in a strange bar
in a strange country
waiting for the man who
turned my heart to dogshit.
- May I have a glass
of red wine, please?
- We
only have Chianti.
- What kind?
- Chianti.
- Okay.
- This place is a
dump, a real shit hole.
Yeah.
So what's your story?
- What?
- What's your
story, are you visiting?
- I just moved back to
America for a bit, thank you.
- Well, cheers to you.
- Cheers.
- Yes.
Cheers to not being
scared, I ain't scared.
I know what to do in
case of a nuclear attack.
Trick is, get away from the
densely populated areas,
get your ass out to the
woods, like upstate,
you know, they got
trees, real trees,
not this little twig.
Nick was punishing me.
Making me meet him somewhere
where the wine is corked.
Before I met up with him
I decided to visit places
where we used to go together.
Am I a masochist.
Of course I am.
But the places we used to go
aren't the same.
The people have grown younger
while we have grown older.
Nick would always talk about
how he felt we
were like gorillas.
From the same...
What the hell do
gorillas travel in?
It doesnt' matter anymore.
He called me his little cat.
How silly relationships are.
Nick was the exact
opposite of the kind of guy
I thought I would
fall for as a girl.
But he was so broken
I wanted to lick the
pain right off his face.
My
mind drifted again to my father.
I will never forget when he--
- Oxygen, you know,
and they clean the air,
that way you can breathe
better, and think,
yeah, 'cause it's gonna
get crazy, I tell you.
Shit, you know,
buildings going down
in flames and shit, mm-mm.
I got me a tent, I
don't even need a
domicile,
I got me a tent, I just
lay out in the grass,
pop my tent, boop, I'm good.
- I don't understand,
you talk so fast.
- Well, better to talk
fast than not at all.
You're not into
that, huh, talking?
Yeah.
You got the face for quietness,
you ain't gotta say a word.
- Okay, Barry.
Move.
I'll wait forever
Even though it's
the end of the world
- Hey,
beer and a shot?
- Hi.
- Hi.
Even though it's
the end of the
World
- I wanted to talk to you.
I wrote a play.
It's about us.
And I would like you to read it.
- Okay, all right.
- Look, it's honest.
- It's confessional.
- Is there a difference?
- Yeah, honesty's hard.
- Okay.
The lead actress, she
wants to meet you,
she thinks it would help her
to discover her character,
and I think it
will help her, too.
Obviously it would be a
tremendous favor to me.
Maybe you owe me a favor.
Look.
I know how things
are between us,
but you know how
much it means to me.
I've been writing the
play my entire life.
- You gonna take your
shoes off, or what?
- There's no time for
naked feet.
- Come on, make
yourself comfortable.
- Listen,
it's.
It's about my father,
too, it's about,
it's about what happened
when I went back to France.
You throw it away
before that part.
- All right, all right,
show me a picture.
- Of who?
- Of the actress.
- You want to see
if she's pretty?
- You jealous?
- She's pretty.
- All right, I'll
make you a deal.
I'll meet her if you have
sex with me one last time.
- Oh, that's a good joke.
- I'm serious, come on.
- I know you're serious.
- I'm just
trying to help you out,
I want to see if she's
a good actor or not,
you know, can she act like
you, can she fuck like you?
- And you made yourself sick,
your breath smells like death.
- You miss your gorilla, though.
- No.
- You don't miss your gorilla?
- I don't miss my gorilla.
Don't do the gorilla.
- I told you no shoes.
- You will come to see
the play, won't you?
You will come to see it?
- Take off your shoes.
Nick
taught me to be impulsive.
We would throw parties, then
escape to have sex outside.
I would imagine he was a
stranger, which got me so wet.
But I knew I was safe
because it was him.
My big gorilla.
Now he is really a stranger.
- It's honest.
- It's confessional.
- Is there a difference?
- You take the most, I'm
sorry, can we do it again?
Ugh, the grad thing's weird.
The next day in rehearsal,
I could barely hold
myself together.
The grad thing, I'm
just trying to figure out how
to make it feel, it
feels kind of corny, but.
- It's honest.
- It's confessional.
- Is
there a difference?
- You take the most intimate
details from our lives,
you twist it around to
where I'm the bad guy,
and then you don't even
do me the basic courtesy
of telling me about it,
is there a difference?
Sorry, what are we doing?
Hey.
- I'm sorry.
- You all right?
- Yeah.
Some men make you cry,
others let you cry on them.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Thank you for helping
me through today.
The director is supposed to
treat the actors like babies,
not the other way around.
- Oh, don't feel bad about it,
the material's hard, you
know, it's your life.
- Yeah, my life, I have
some imagination, don't I?
- I have to tell
you, I think that
what you're doing with
this play, it's really--
- Boring.
- No.
- Predictable.
- No.
- Self-indulgent,
exploitative, cruel?
- No,
brave,
I could never put my life
on the line like that, I mean,
nothing has ever really
happened in my life, anyway.
- I can
only cum during sex
if I know I'm gonna
get my heart broken.
- Do you have a room?
- It's too far.
Is this a bad idea?
Ow, fuck.
- I just want, like,
when you see a baby,
you want to bite him.
- Oh.
Usually, when I
actually love a girl,
I have a hard time, you
know, lasting, I did my best
to make sure I didn't
embarrass myself with Mona.
I thought of my roommate
clipping his toenails,
but it didn't matter,
the sex was just too intense
for her, she fell asleep.
I wanted to keep
fucking for sure,
I hadn't come from
a woman in months,
but just watching her
sleep, that was enough.
Usually when I watch
girls sleep in my bed,
they just look like
aliens, it's weird
to sleep next to
an alien, but Mona,
she felt like a human, she
felt like my kind of human.
- Which came first,
the chicken or the egg?
Feel free to ponder
this age old question
as you let the eggs
fry in the pan.
It's important to
give yourself a break,
just watch the eggs.
Don't need to think about
it, it's a beautiful sight,
isn't it, just enjoy
it, don't think.
- I heard a corny
joke the other day.
- I need a coffee.
- Coffee.
Did you sleep all right?
- I had a dream
I was a
black widow spider.
- Mm-hmm?
- They kill
their mates, you know?
- That's neat.
Fuck, ah!
I had met Mona at a party
at her ex-boyfriend's house
after one of her plays,
it was a really personal play,
and I told her that I liked it.
Looking at her was like
looking at a sunset,
it gave me a boner.
- On the Uber ride here, we
passed this liquor store,
Raul's Liquor, and I
just thought to myself,
like, who is Raul, you know,
like what is his story,
what is his day like, you know,
a liquor store would be a
great setting for.
- Totally.
- Raul doesn't want
you tell his story,
Raul just wants you
to buy his beer.
What did you like about my play?
- I thought it was
self-deprecating
without being self-indulgent.
- You get a gold star.
- Whoa, that's too
much food to eat.
- I had to make breakfast
for myself, anyway.
Are the eggs okay?
- Oh, I don't like eggs.
- Oh.
- Sorry.
- It was honestly one
of the best mornings of my life.
The only problem was
when I went inside,
my pee really hurt.
- Unfortunately,
you've tested positive
for gonorrhea, we do
have an antibiotic
for you to take, the
next step is for you
to notify any sexual
partners you've had
in the last 60 days.
- Well, you didn't
get it from me,
I get checked constantly.
- I'm not accusing you,
I'm just telling you
what I have to
tell you, the fact
that you get checked
constantly is a little--
- I'm not
gonna let you shame me.
You know, underneath
this mister-nice-guy act
is a real passive aggressive
asshole, I see through it.
- I don't care what
Hannah says, I'm a good guy,
deep down, when it
counts, in a life
or death situation, like
when a ship's sinking,
I help the women
and children first.
It was clear Mona was
developing real feelings for me,
so I needed to give her
the news the right way,
I planned on making my puppy
dog face when I told her.
- Oh, hey, you're the
guy from the show, right,
the Clown Academy?
- Yeah.
- Why aren't you
doing that anymore?
- They killed my character.
Yep, the puppy dog
face, my secret weapon,
my ace in the hole.
- Hey,
can I have a cigarette?
- Sorry, this is
my last one, man.
- Please,
just one cigarette?
- Sorry.
- Oh, please?
- To the outside
world, it looks spontaneous,
but only I know it's
totally calculated,
I control my every tick,
why don't I get more work?
Fuck, I gotta learn my lines.
At another time in my life,
I probably would have gotten
with Thrse just to do it,
but now I'm a one woman guy,
and I don't want to lead her on.
Yeah, good guy.
- Are you uncomfortable
with me?
- No, no, I'm just having a
weird day, I was at the doctor--
- Nothing serious, I hope.
- No, it was just the flu.
- Mm.
Few.
- No, the flu.
- No, no, no, I mean the few,
like,
a few.
You know?
- Oh, yeah, that's good.
- Should we try the kiss?
- Yeah.
All right, let's
do the whole thing.
- Yeah.
- I guess I would expect
nothing less from you.
- It's honest.
- It's confessional.
- Is
there a difference?
- Yeah, honesty's hard.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Okay, so you must
be Thrse, right?
- You must be Nick.
- You look nice.
Well, shall we?
- Yeah, okay.
See you tomorrow.
- Bye.
- You walk so fast,
you'd think you're
from New York.
I knew I had to tell her about
the gonorrhea at some point,
it was looming over me all day.
Hey, I never told you that joke,
it's kind of corny,
but it goes--
- I'm writing.
- What's that?
- I'm writing, in my head,
I'm writing in my head.
Sometimes when I walk,
I'm writing in my head,
it's nothing personal,
it's just, you know.
- Yeah, say no
more, do your thing.
I'd tell her when we got inside,
that way I could do
my puppy dog face.
I knew I had to tell her
before we had sex, though.
Okay, I would tell
her after we had sex.
You're so beautiful.
- Don't say that.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Stop apologizing,
you little pussy.
- That was
it, I lose all control
when girls talk to me like I'm
dirt, I tried to think fast.
You're seriously kicking
me out right now?
- Yeah, I'm feeling
very confused,
I have to wake up
early tomorrow morning.
- Can you understand why I might
be feeling suicidal right now?
- Yeah, okay, I feel
that way all the time,
you go on living, or you don't.
I can't stand here all night
going in circles with you.
- I know, but I feel
like we just have
to address this
thing between us.
- What, but the only thing
between us is this door.
I told her, you can't
spend the night here.
- I have to tell you something.
- What?
What on earth are you
doing with that face?
- Huh?
Hey, Kelly, how's it going?
- Not bad, not bad.
- Is Hannah working tonight?
- Later, you want me
to tell her you stopped by?
- No, I'll just hang out,
can I get a Jameson on the
rocks when you get a chance?
- You got it.
- How's it going?
And it's, like, very
hard to be attracted
to somebody that's
attracted to you, it's like
your tastes seem
to be very shitty,
and that's, you
know, taste matters.
- Man, what do you
do for work, for a living?
- Nothing, worse than
nothing, I'm an actor.
- Hey,
Hannah's not coming in,
she said something
about an audition.
- Yeah, of course.
Can I have one more?
- Coming up.
- What do
you do for work?
- Sanitation.
- Cheers.
I knew I shouldn't call
her, I'm a good guy,
really, deep down,
when it counts,
when the ship is sinking,
women and children first,
women and children--
- Howdy, stranger.
- Hi.
- Did
I say that right?
- Yeah, it was
perfect, thanks for coming.
- Mm-hmm.
- Cheers.
- Yeah.
You shouldn't drink
when you have the flu.
- What the fuck
are you talking about?
Kelly, have one more,
and what do you want?
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- Did you finish?
- No.
I'm a good guy.
When it counts.
Hello.
Mommy, guess what?
Another Crush?
Don't be so condescending!
This one is serious.
How serious?
Let's just put it this way:
I made him breakfast
this morning.
You cooked for him?
Yes!
You will never see him again.
What?
Oh.
- Time
to start the day.
- Great.
- Handsome.
I hope you don't mind, I watched
you sleep for a few hours.
- That's fine.
- What?
- You watched me
sleep for a few hours?
- You snore like a grizzly.
- Fuck.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I
just need, like--
- Advil?
- Yeah.
- Water?
Bread.
- Bread?
- Eat up so.
when we were having.
- Sex.
- Yes!
Do you remember what you said?
- Hmm?
- Do you remember what you said?
- Thrse, I don't
really remember anything
about last night.
It was black out, do you
understand black out, black out?
- Yeah, black out.
- Yeah, yeah, I don't want this.
Black out.
- Silly grizzly.
Come on, let's take a shower.
- I'm fine, thank you though.
- Oh, no fun.
- Yeah.
- Come on, let's get clean.
- No, I can't, I'm a
shower every other day guy,
today's an off day, I
can't break the rotation,
I have sensitive skin.
- Sensitive to what?
- To water.
- Oh.
If you want to join me, there's
plenty of room.
Are they horrible?
- No, no.
Not horrible.
- Yeah.
I was raised with
chefs in the house,
so I never really
learned how to cook.
But I'm trying.
- I think I'm gonna leave, I'm
not really feeling very well.
Thanks for breakfast, though.
- Wait.
- Look, I know
that we should probably
talk about what--
- I was just going
to ask for a kiss.
- Oh.
For Your Information, mother,
he loved the
breakfast I made him.
- Five, six, seven, eight.
She told me not to tell
any of the other students but
she said I'm top of the class.
Hey, Thrse, I don't know
what you're doing here,
but you just gotta
get out of your head,
okay, and just feel it.
- Yeah.
- One, two, three, and four,
one, two, three, and
four, five, and six.
It's not about the dancing,
though, I've made so many
great friends in class.
Three and four, five and
six, seven and eight,
now go to your left,
two, three, four.
Mommy, I love daddy,
but why couldn't you have
had me with a black man?
I'm not having
this conversation again.
Tell me about your friends.
They're so wonderful.
Liz is so sweet and caring.
She's a good listener,
and she makes sure
everything is fair.
- Everyone should
get a little piece.
- Great, a half of a half
of a piece of cheese.
And Joyce is so strong
and sassy, just
like the ones on TV.
- So T.
- What?
- Any new developments
on the Chris front?
- Not really.
- Oh.
- I think he likes Mona, and
I think she likes him back.
And yesterday, he had a big
bite that I think came from her.
- So what, swoop in there,
no way that bitch
is cuter than you.
- This bitch may not
be cuter than me,
but she's a more beautiful
bitch than I, inside and out.
- She's probably
confusing her feelings
for Chris with her feelings
for her ex-boyfriend.
- Maybe.
- You know what you should do?
- What?
- You should wait for this
whole crazy-ass play to be over,
then Mona's gonna see she
doesn't have any real feelings
for Chris, unless he's
playing her ex-boyfriend.
Then, when she dumps his
ass, he's gonna be all,
"Oh, woe is me," then
who's gonna be there,
waiting on the rebound?
- You.
- So you're, you're saying
I should go on a date
with Mona's ex-boyfriend
to make her jealous?
- That's literally not even
close to what I just said.
- Then Chris will be all
mine for the rebound.
- But see, you've
got it all wrong.
So I decided
to go ahead with Joyce's plan.
I called Mona for an
emergency meeting.
I told her I wanted
to meet her ex
so I could better
understand my character.
At first, she was
resistant to the idea,
but I eventually convinced her.
She even thanked me for caring
so much about the project.
Introduce me or I quit.
Thrse, remember
in grade school when you
called the girlfriends of boys
you liked and told
them they were dead?
Yes, I was so young and silly.
- Hey, Ms. Independence,
you look good today.
- Thank you.
No one liked you
after that, remember?
Remember how much you cried
when the whole
school shunned you?
How you slept in my
bed for a year after?
Mother,
Stop using the past against me!
I just don't want
you to get hurt again.
You don't get hurt like other
people, you come undone, baby.
You become dangerous
to yourself.
Oh, mommy! You worry too much.
Chris has such a beautiful
beard. It's clean,
perfectly trimmed --
Like the pubic hair of
a respectable woman.
Oh, cookie.
Don't make an old woman puke.
And his hands --
They are strong, capable, but
not paw-like like daddy's.
And he has the most beautiful
eyes you've ever seen.
So much mystery behind them.
You want to jump into
them naked and drown.
Baby, remember your
co-star in that dreadful
rendition of Three Sisters?
You said the same
thing about his eyes.
And your co-star in that
deodorant commercial?
You said the same
thing about his eyes.
Even that boy who played Romeo
to your Juliet in 6th grade--
Oh, mother!
Would you stop
living in the past?
Should we try the kiss?
- Yeah.
Chris is different.
When we kissed, it was like
a million fireworks went off
inside me all at once.
With the other boys, it was
just like...toy sparklers.
That night, I was
rehearsing my lines --
What about your date
with Mona's ex-boyfriend?
Did you actually
go through with it?
Huh?
- You must be Nick.
I just want to understand the
relationship from your point
of view so I can tell the
story more truthfully.
It's your story, too.
- Who gives a shit?
- I give a shit.
Bite me, bite me.
- Hmm?
- Would you, would you bite me?
I like to be bitten.
Yeah.
Yes.
Ow!
- What?
- Not that hard.
- I'm sorry.
- Did you leave a mark?
- I mean, yeah.
Maybe.
Hey.
- Okay.
You dirty old man.
- What?
Oh, yes.
It was relatively painless.
Anyway, that night I
was rehearsing my lines
when out of the
blue Mona Skyped me.
Hello?
Mona
Thrse, can you hear me?
Yes. I hear you.
- Cool.
How
do you make the box
that shows my face disappear?
I don't know.
I
only want to see you.
Your beautiful. You really are.
Are you okay?
I may have
just driven a man to suicide.
Oh, I'm sorry.
And I ate some pot brownies.
Have you ever smoked pot?
How often do you get drunk?
Almost never
I'm a square, I guess.
How
was your date with Nick?
I don't care, don't tell me.
I just wanted to see your face.
Your beautiful face...
Touch my finger.
Anyway, I'm actually glad
you made me see my
ex the other night
I wrote a new scene
based on the experience.
Oh, fantastic!
It might suck
because I'm stoned.
Do you think you can have
it memorized by tomorrow?
Yes, but it depends on
how many pages it is--
Great.
- You drink to have had
happiness, you know why, because,
okay, you dreamed to have
had happiness, you know why,
because in order
to be happy, one
must first be brave,
one must first be brave.
You drink to avoid happiness,
you know why, because
in order to be happy,
one must first be brave,
yeah, you could let go
of your misery if you--
Hello?
- Hey.
- Howdy, stranger.
- Hey.
- Did
I say that right?
- Yeah, no, that was perfect.
Thanks for coming.
- Mm-hmm.
- Cheers.
- Yeah.
You shouldn't drink
when you have the flu.
- What the fuck are
you talking about?
Can I get one more,
and what do you want?
- I'll just have a pinot grigio.
- You got it.
- Thank you.
So?
Have you read the new lines?
- The new lines?
- Mm-hmm.
- We open in a week.
- Yeah, Mona had yet another
burst of inspiration.
- Fucking bitch,
you know, some people,
if you're not as
fucked up as they are,
then they're just, you're
uninteresting to them,
you know, you're worse than
that, you're disposable.
- Did she give you that bite?
- If you're
decent, you're disposable.
- I have a bite, too.
You drink to avoid happiness,
you know why?
Because in order to be happy,
one must first be brave.
You could let go of your
misery if you wanted to,
but you won't.
- I love you.
He said he loves me, Mommy!
Well I'm glad
you met someone.
Just try not to get
carried away this time.
I won't always be here
to pick up the pieces.
Oh, mommy, don't say that!
You'll be around for
a good long while.
Thrse, sweetie,
you must accept the
reality of the situation.
Chemo only prolongs
the inevitable--
La, La, La! Okay mommy,
I should go rehearse.
I'll send you some
photos of Chris sleeping.
You should have heard him
snore. My big grizzly.
Okay.
I cant' wait to see
him. Love you, baby.
Love You!
- The day after
Nick's 10th wedding anniversary,
he found himself day
drinking in the park.
He was taking pictures
of old people,
thinking about how he
himself would soon be old,
forgotten, unable to remember
the things he once wanted
to do, as he contemplated
his own demise,
two girls with
perfect skin appeared,
seemingly out of
nowhere, one was Chilean,
and exuded a youthful confidence
that Nick could only
understand as arrogance.
"She probably fucks rock
stars, and eats organic candy,
"and practices some
bastardized form of meditation
"that requires no work,"
these were the thoughts
that raced through Nick's
head as he took her picture
with the intention of
jerking off to it later.
Her friend, though,
had sad eyes,
she wore a dumb hat,
and her name was Mona.
They went to a bar,
the Chilean took off
because she couldn't
keep up with him.
Mona talked excessively
about her own life,
she was a good storyteller,
she had a dark sense
of humor, of someone who's
lived, and boy, could she drink.
Nick began spending a dangerous
amount of time with Mona.
They would sit on the same
park bench for hours on end,
taking pictures of crazy people.
Mona was the first
woman that seemed
to genuinely like
Nick since his wife,
but his wife had long since
realized the charms she saw
in Nick as a younger person
were entirely imagined.
She no longer supported
his photography, or choice
in facial hair, Mona, Nick
thought, understood him
for the sweaty, misunderstood
genius beast he was,
mostly, though, she
was just so beautiful.
- I'm still going through
changes you've been
through yourself,
you know?
You'll always be 10
steps ahead of me.
- See, what you just
said, that was amazing,
I could have never
formulated a thought like
that at your age.
So you're mature for your
age, I'm immature for mine.
- Come on, that's
every guy who's dating
a younger girl will say
that, it's so cliche.
- Well, then I'm a cliche.
- Yeah, you're a cliche.
- I don't mind being a cliche
if that means being with you.
- I don't think you
should leave your wife.
- Hey, Gorilla.
- Hey.
- Oh, you're hanging your
pictures like I told you to.
- Uh-oh, oh, it's
dripping, oh, shit.
Oh, it's gonna drip on
you, oh, no, I didn't mean
to do that, I just held my
ice cream over your face.
- Why we took
this, it's, is just,
I don't like vanilla,
I prefer chocolate.
- Van-iy-a?
- Van-i-ya.
- Did I say van-i-ya?
- No.
- Did you say what?
- What the fuck is van-iy-a?
- I want to put
vanilla on your nose.
- No, stop.
- I don't want it
anymore, can I give it to you?
- Stop.
- Uh-oh.
- Stop.
- You just didn't,
once you push like,
once you see it's not--
- I didn't say anything.
- Oh, I know, he's.
- Should I try
to go and get him?
- No, he
gets really angry.
You okay, dude?
- Are you okay?
- What?
- Are you okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm sorry.
- Nick could feel
Mona growing disinterested
by the complications
of his very adult life,
so he tried to integrate
himself into her world.
My times will turn to guns
If I find Brad had sex
If I find Brad had sex
If I find Brad had sex
- What?
- Yes, what do you mean?
Why are you making me sound
like the fucking idiot?
- You're crazy
about this, it's--
- Oh, I'm
crazy about this?
- I never said that.
- I'm Chris, by the way.
I never got to tell you
how much I loved that play.
- How long is this
shithead is gonna be,
I'm gonna piss my pants.
- You're not wearing any pants.
- What?
- You're not
wearing any pants.
- No, just these
beautiful tights,
it would be so sad if I
got piss all over them.
I really need to go back home,
I need to take care of him.
- How long
will you be gone?
- My mom's just completely
abandoned him, there's no one.
He's my father, and he's
drinking himself to death now.
- Please leave a
message after the beep.
- Hey, Mona, yeah, it's me.
I know you're going
through a lot, but,
I mean, can you at
least call me back?
I mean, I haven't talked to
you in, like, over a month.
Hold on, that's you,
disregard this message.
Hey.
Mona?
Mona.
I swear to god, if
this is a butt dial,
I'm gonna fucking lose it, Mona!
Fuck!
- Nick knew Mona
couldn't abandon her father,
but he couldn't go a moment
without imagining her being
fucked by some dirty Frenchman.
- And, you know.
- Yeah, you have a lot of
moles, you know, but why not?
- That's
about all I know.
- You know.
- Bonjour!
- Sorry, let's go home.
- Bonjour!
- Bonjour!
- Bonjour!
- Bonjour!
- Bonjour!
- Let's go
outside, get some air.
- Bonjour!
Get some air,
let's get some air.
- When she returned
from France, Nick vowed
to end it, no matter what,
his dignity depended on it.
- Your stuff's
packed up over there.
What?
- My father died.
- And just
like that, it was as
though the past six months
had never even happened.
it seemed like Nick might be
living out his own version
of a happy ending.
Then Mona casually mentioned
she had an affair in France.
She claimed it was born
out of emotional distress,
and the whole ordeal
just made her realize
how much she needed him.
He wanted to forgive her,
he tried to forgive her,
but every time he
closed his eyes.
- Nick.
- What'd you say?
- What?
- It sounded
like you just said Nico.
- What?
- You just said Nico.
- I said Nick.
- One
morning, Nick woke up
to find a note from Mona,
she hadn't dotted her Is
with hearts like
she usually did.
The note read, "To
my big gorilla,
"it was nice to share
a dream with you,
"but now I am awake, I
wish there was some way
"of doing this to hurt you less.
"I wish I didn't care
about you, but I do.
"I begged you not to
make me your home.
"What do you have
to go back to now?"
- Hey, Henry.
Henry!
Henry.
Hey.
- What the hell are you doing?
- I'm here to pick up
Henry, where is he?
- No, no, keep your voice down,
you were supposed to be here
hours ago, and you're drunk.
You're drunk.
- I don't care, he's
my fucking son, where--
- Go inside, listen,
Nick, come on,
let's make this nice, come on.
- All right, I'm very peaceful,
I'm just going up to get my son.
- I don't--
- I'm just going
up to get my son.
- Let's not make it
uncomfortable, all right?
Stay composed, composure.
- All right, you make a
very good point, Jerry,
all right, you win,
I'll see you later,
this is inappropriate,
I'm sorry.
- Now, get
up, get up, get up.
- You fucking
hurt me, I'll fucking.
- Nick, Nick,
please, Nick, please.
- Wait, no.
- Close the door,
close the door, close the door.
- Come on, come on,
I'll fuck my way through
you to get to my son.
- Hey, thanks
for setting me up
with that crazy bitch
the other night.
Look, I just wanted
to let you know
I'm not gonna come tonight,
I guess I'm supposed
to wish you luck or something.
I hope this play
helps you get over
whatever you need to get over.
Wear some lipstick tonight, oh,
and I might have
given you gonorrhea.
- Howdy.
- Hey.
- Pre-show jitters?
Maybe I can help you
to get rid of them.
- I just have to do some
breathing exercises, so.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- You're shaking.
- I can't do this.
- What do you mean?
- I mean, I'm not an actor.
- Of course you are.
- No, no.
Some guys overheard me
imitating my parents at a mall
when I was 16, put me in a
Saturday morning kid's show,
and I'm just bullshitting
ever since then,
but I haven't been on stage
since I was in the sixth grade.
- I'm sure you were great.
- I was a tree.
- I'm sure you
were a great tree.
- I just feel like if I
blow this, then I will,
I'm not gonna be able
to come back, you know?
- Aw, silly grizzly.
You're good, okay?
It's your lack of energy
that makes you exciting,
and you have me to guide you.
- Mm-hmm.
- What more could you ask for?
- Just finish quick.
- What, what was that?
- What was what?
Hey.
- Of course.
Your big night,
your big premier,
everything you
wrecked our lives for,
everything you wrecked
your own life for has come
to fruition, and how
are you handling it?
Like a little baby, in way
over her head, like always?
You should just stay down.
I'd cry too if I were you,
whole self image wrapped up
in this grand notion you
have of yourself as a writer,
and yet you're
incapable of writing
about anything except
yourself, now, is that writing,
or is that just publicly crying?
The world is going to
shit, not in some far off,
abstract way, but in real ways
that affect the lives
of people you know,
and yet you refuse
to look outward
because you're so
goddamned interesting.
- I
thought you loved me.
- You're like a drug,
you're like a drug
that re-enters my life--
- I thought, I thought, I
thought you, you loved me.
- You're like a
drug that re-enters my life.
You're like a drug
that re-enters my life
after I've gone
through all the--
- Can you
forget the line--
- You're like--
- Can you be real,
do you have a real
in you, do you?
- You're like a drug that--
- You
said you loved me.
- You're like a drug that
re-enters my life after--
- You
said you loved me.
- I.
You're like a drug--
- Why
did you say that?
Why did you say you loved me?
- Because I fucking meant it.
I always have.
Fuck this guy, come on, kitty,
you can do this, all right?
Come on, you got this, let's
do the material justice.
- I can't,
I'm covered in snot,
and I don't have a
tissue, okay?
- Here, use this.
Hey.
Come on.
The show must go on.
- I thought you hated this play.
- It's honest.
- It's confessional.
- What's the difference?
- Honesty is hard, I never
really got the hang of it.
- Hey, neither did I.
- When you left your wife
without telling me--
- I felt obligated to
at least give us a shot.
But I know, you weren't
really ready to settle down.
- Our
entire relationship,
I never really needed you,
that's probably what
attracted you to me,
and
when
I finally
did need you,
you weren't there.
- When I think
about what happened
when you went back to France,
what your father did to you,
I get so mad, I don't
know what to do.
- The only way I knew
how to deal with it was
to turn my mind off,
and follow my body.
It led me
to other bad places,
it led me to other men,
sometimes it felt, it felt good.
Sometimes it,
it didn't, but,
in the end,
it was
the coping mechanism,
and nothing more.
I tried to make you understand.
But you, you wouldn't listen.
- When we talked about it,
it made it real, and I had
to push it down, that's why I
started drinking like crazy,
it made it easier for me
to twist things so that,
you know, I saw
you as the bad guy.
It was easier for me to
see you as the bad guy,
instead of the
victim that you were,
but we don't have to be
defined by what we did.
All this time
alone, I've realized
that waking up without you
is like not waking up at all,
I'm old, I'm tired,
but I promise you,
all I want to do is take care
of you, be there for you.
Please, Mona, what do you say?
How about a happy ending?
My Life has been a series
of bad decisions
Perhaps I thought I could make
my life story worth telling,
I could make it a life
worth living as well.
I say his name a
hundred times a day.