The Grinch Grinches the Cat in the Hat (1982) Movie Script
1
[yawning]
[engine rumbling]
[instrumental music]
[rooster crowing]
[male narrator]
It sure was
a beautiful morning.
The sun came up glowing
and glitzeling.
And when the dawn broke
all the witzel birds woke.
The witzel birds
all woke up witzeling.
[birds chirping]
[music continues]
[dramatic music]
[male narrator]
An unusually beautiful
morning it was.
Even the Grinch
woke up witzeling.
[whistles]
His dog, Max, was amazed!
He stared up from the floor.
A witzeling Grinch?
Never happened before.
Never before had this nasty,
old guy
left out of his bed
with a smile in his eye
and witzeling, "Hello,"
to the birds in the sky.
[whistling]
Unbelievable!
This was gooder than good.
This was grander than grand.
There was peace in his heart.
There'd be peace in the land.
And a very good morning to you,
Mr. Grinch.
Oh, it is, is it?
Well, i-it seems so, sort of.
I see nothing
to witzel about.
You must be out of your head,
no doubt.
I think the time has come
for thee
to repeat the Grinch's oath
with me.
[both]
A Grinch is unhelpful
unfriendly, unkind.
With ungracious thoughts..
...in an unhealthy mind.
A Grinch is uncheerful
uncouth and unclean.
'Now, say this together!'
[both]
I'm frightfully mean!
My eyes are both shifty.
My fingers are thrifty.
My mouth will not smile.
Not half of an inch.
I'm a Grinch.
I am a Grinch.
I'm a Grinch!
That's my boy!
Now, go out and prove it.
[whimpering]
[The Grinch]
Prove it. Prove it.
Prove it.
Prove it.
[instrumental music]
[engine revving]
[tires screech]
[engine revving]
[birds chirping]
[engine revving]
[tires screech]
Prove I'm a Grinch. Hah!
[chirping]
[coughing]
[engine revving]
[coughs]
And a witzel to you.
[laughing]
[engine revving]
[instrumental music]
Oh the bees
are busy buzzin'
In the beezleberry vine
While the beezleberries
sweeten
In the good old sunnyshine
It's gonna be a sunny
buzzy beezleberry day
A day when cats
Put on fresh hats
When cats put on
their picnic hats
And go outside to play
thud
[engine rumbling]
[music continues]
Oh the leapfrogs
are a-leapin'
And they're leapin'
mighty fine
And they're beepin'
while they're leapin'
In the good old sunnyshine
It's gonna be a beepin'
leapin' moo-moo of a day
A buzzy berry
Beezly very lulu of a day
[engine rumbling]
pop
[sniffles]
[music continues]
[tires screeching]
[crashing]
[horn blaring]
[crashing]
You get this crate
out of my way.
I am tremendously
so, so sorry, mister..
Whatever your name is.
I do seem to be blockerizing
and obstructivating
your mobility.
Obstructivating
my mobility willity.
However, Mr. Hosts,
if you would be so kind
as to hold my hot dog..
'That's a good fellow.'
I will de-blockorize and
de-obstructivate this roadway
allowing you to sally forth
on your merry, merry way.
I deeply deplore
any incovenience-alities
that I may
have caused you, mister..
...Greenface.
Greenface?
snap
I thank you for your patience
and I wish you
a felicitous resumption
on your interrupted journey
towards your ultimate
destination on..
Mr. Greenface?
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
[whistling]
[engine rumbling]
crash
[tires screeching]
crash
splash
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
[music continues]
[crashing]
Oops!
[engine rumbling]
[engines revving]
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
Phew!
Relax.
[mellow music]
In this world
Of complexitous
complicatation
In this world
Of peculitous puzzleazation
In this world
Of ridunculous
rufulization
There comes a time for
Relax-ification
Your life's full of boulders
But shrug your should-olders
Just shrug
your should-old-ers
Re-e-e-lax
[music continues]
In this world I've..
screech screech
In this world of pec..
screech screech
In this world..
screech screech
[The Grinch]
Having problems,
Mr. Cat in the Hat?
Come inside.
I have something to show you.
This, sir, is my Acoustical
Anti-Audial Bleeper.
Otherwise known
as my Vacu-Sound Sweeper.
That?
That's the darn thing
that makes the sound
sound stupid?
It sucks out of the air
every noise
every sound
and gargles the sound waves
for 50 miles 'round!
'Nifty little contraption,
isn't it?'
It's implausible,
it's impossible
it's unreasonable
and unlawsible.
Such things never happen
in the middle of the day.
'And if they do, I ignore them'
and they're bound
to go away..
screech screech
[Grinch laughing]
From now on, you will hear
what I want you to hear.
On again off again
Make the sound cough again
I am the boss
of what everyone hears
The sound of your voice
Is the sound of my choice
I am the master
of everyone's ears
With the flick of my thumb
With the greatest of ease
If I wish I can stop
All the buzzing of bees
And as for your lovebirds
I can't stand their chirping
So I just push my button
Your lovebirds start burping
[hiccupping]
The sounds that you make
Are the sounds of my choice
I can make you sound better
Or make you sound worse
When your bull
goes out wooing
There'll be no more mooing
[bell dinging]
When I wish to hear moos
I could hear them from youse
Not from me..
[mooing]
I can fuzzle the sound
Of what everyone hears
I'm the puzzle the master
of everyone's
E-e-a-rs
Ha-ha!
[engine revving]
crash
[tires screech]
[engine revving]
[Grinch laughing]
[The Grinch]
'I'm the puzzle'
'the master of everyone's ears.'
[laughing]
'Max. Max!'
'Where are you, Max?'
[whimpers]
'Oh, no, Maxie-Waxie.'
No hidey-widey
from Grinchy-Winchy.
That cat!
That beezleberry cat!
I snurgled his sound.
'Now I'll even do more.'
Take this up to my shop
on the 39th floor.
That cat's gonna suffer
like never before!
[laughs]
[dramatic music]
This is the liggle gear
And as you know
It goes 'round and it makes
The biggle gear go
And the biggle gear turns
The elliptical scrunch
Which in turn is attached
To the dratsital thrust
Which rotates the flange
Of the salamar gotch
And that decompresses
The spatulet springs
Which fluctuate 'round
In the rabulous rings
Which heats up the pongs
As they heat up the pings
And that brings about
The most horrible things
[laughing]
Ha!
[whimpering]
'Max.'
Do you know
what a lighthouse is?
'A lighthouse makes light.'
So, just for a lark
I built me a dark-house.
A dark-house makes dark.
I just push a button
up here in this place..
'...and you can't see your
mitten in front of your face.'
Huh? What? What..
I can't see my mitten
in front of my face.
[instrumental music]
screech
crash
[laughing]
[snarls]
How you doing, kitty-kitty?
Are you feeling pretty good
Mr. Cat in the Hoot?
Besides being boss of your ears
and your sound
I can make gloom
for a hundred miles 'round.
Ooh! That Grinch!
That Grinch!
That psychopathic Grinch!
Why is a Grinch?
What makes him tick?
Why is his Grinch brain
sick, sick, sick?
Oh, boy, if I had
a psychiatrist couch
I'd find out what's wrong
with that Grinchy Grouch.
That's a lot of rot.
Is there something
in your family tree
that causes Grinch delinquency?
Absolutely not!
As a boy were you never
a good Boy Scout?
Did you ever eat
too much sauerkraut?
Did your school teacher say
that you were a fool?
Did you dive
in an empty swimming pool?
Positively not!
Did you fight a lot
with your older sisters?
Did you suffer
from poison ivy blisters?
The shoes that you wore
Were they too tight?
Were you afraid to go out
In the dark at night?
Did some big bully
steal your kite?
Your teeth was there something
wrong with your bite?
Or maybe your mother didn't
Treat you right
Absotively, posolutely
that's a lot of rot.
Hm, one of the most difficult
patients I've ever had.
'I'm gonna have to make
a house call.'
boing
[engine rumbling]
[instrumental music]
[zapping]
[tires screeching]
Hm, this is a bit more
complicatacious than I thought.
[whirring]
[engine rumbling]
[music continues]
whoop
vroom
[tires screeching]
crash
[laughs]
That darkness is getting
quite dull
don't you think?
Let's liven things up
'with some persimmon pink.'
[instrumental music]
boing.
Phew!
May I suggest
this sizzling chef's special?
- But I'm not hungry.
- An excellent choice!
[indistinct chatter]
[instrumental music]
Here you are, sir.
The delicious
sizzling chef's special.
[inhales deeply]
Watch this, I'll give him
a double gagtical
flomax deluxe.
[beeping]
'Oh, what a super-dupe
flomax deluxe.'
Ah!
boing
[instrumental music]
[whirring]
[man screaming]
[laughs]
And now
I will give them
a triple ring fitzarung
gunkongeshlap.
With a marshmallow sauce
and a cherry on top.
[whirring]
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
[horn blaring]
[music continues]
[horn blaring]
[music continues]
[shatters]
[music continues]
That Grinch, that Grinch.
He has smuggled our light.
He's guzzled our sound.
He's bamboozled our lives.
And a way must be found
to cease him
from schploting
his evil around.
[dramatic music]
That Grinch. That Grinch.
Deep inside
his freaky freakness
there must be a soft spot.
[blows]
There must be a weakness.
Despite the grim fact that
he's depraved and deranged
I will find that soft spot.
That Grinch can be changed.
He hates cows.
He hates cats.
He hates frogs,
he hates doves.
Is there no one, no one?
Nobody he loves?
Absolutely not!
That's a lot of rot!
[whooshing]
Rowdy-doe! I've got it!
I've got it,
I've got the Grinch
psychological-ized.
You, you, you and you
follow me, men and madam.
We're going to un-Grinch
The Grinch.
- How am I doing, old fellow?
- Magnificently--
Pong pong pong
Pong
Hum-m-m
Oh soften your heart
Remember your mother
Everyone
Even a Grinch
Had a mother
Who taught him of love
Between one and another
Oh remember
your mother's
Warm arms
As she held you
Remember your sweet
mother's eyes
She adored you
Remember how hard
mother worked
To afford you
How she patted
your cheeks
While you sat
on her knees
Oh remember
your wonderful
Grinch mother please
Aa-uh aa-uh
Wherever she's now
Her eyes are still looking
Looking down on at you
And wondering
what's cooking
Deep down in your brain
Must you give her
more pain?
Please soften your heart
Make mom happy
Oh Grinch
Bum bum bum bum
[mellow music]
There, there, son.
Everything's
going to be alright.
Ma-mama?
[sniffles]
Yes, son.
Now, be a good boy
and clean up your room.
[The Grinch]
Yes, mama.
[sniffles]
Hand me a wrench, Max.
We've got work to do.
[male narrator]
Once again,
it was a beautiful morning.
Once again,
the sun came up glitzeling
and the witzel birds
once more were witzeling.
This was gooder than good.
This was grander than grand.
There was peace in his heart.
There'd be peace in the land.
And a very good morning to you,
Mr. Grinch.
Oh, it is, is it?
I think the time has come
for thee
to repeat The Grinch's oath..
[screeching]
[instrumental music]
[yawning]
[engine rumbling]
[instrumental music]
[rooster crowing]
[male narrator]
It sure was
a beautiful morning.
The sun came up glowing
and glitzeling.
And when the dawn broke
all the witzel birds woke.
The witzel birds
all woke up witzeling.
[birds chirping]
[music continues]
[dramatic music]
[male narrator]
An unusually beautiful
morning it was.
Even the Grinch
woke up witzeling.
[whistles]
His dog, Max, was amazed!
He stared up from the floor.
A witzeling Grinch?
Never happened before.
Never before had this nasty,
old guy
left out of his bed
with a smile in his eye
and witzeling, "Hello,"
to the birds in the sky.
[whistling]
Unbelievable!
This was gooder than good.
This was grander than grand.
There was peace in his heart.
There'd be peace in the land.
And a very good morning to you,
Mr. Grinch.
Oh, it is, is it?
Well, i-it seems so, sort of.
I see nothing
to witzel about.
You must be out of your head,
no doubt.
I think the time has come
for thee
to repeat the Grinch's oath
with me.
[both]
A Grinch is unhelpful
unfriendly, unkind.
With ungracious thoughts..
...in an unhealthy mind.
A Grinch is uncheerful
uncouth and unclean.
'Now, say this together!'
[both]
I'm frightfully mean!
My eyes are both shifty.
My fingers are thrifty.
My mouth will not smile.
Not half of an inch.
I'm a Grinch.
I am a Grinch.
I'm a Grinch!
That's my boy!
Now, go out and prove it.
[whimpering]
[The Grinch]
Prove it. Prove it.
Prove it.
Prove it.
[instrumental music]
[engine revving]
[tires screech]
[engine revving]
[birds chirping]
[engine revving]
[tires screech]
Prove I'm a Grinch. Hah!
[chirping]
[coughing]
[engine revving]
[coughs]
And a witzel to you.
[laughing]
[engine revving]
[instrumental music]
Oh the bees
are busy buzzin'
In the beezleberry vine
While the beezleberries
sweeten
In the good old sunnyshine
It's gonna be a sunny
buzzy beezleberry day
A day when cats
Put on fresh hats
When cats put on
their picnic hats
And go outside to play
thud
[engine rumbling]
[music continues]
Oh the leapfrogs
are a-leapin'
And they're leapin'
mighty fine
And they're beepin'
while they're leapin'
In the good old sunnyshine
It's gonna be a beepin'
leapin' moo-moo of a day
A buzzy berry
Beezly very lulu of a day
[engine rumbling]
pop
[sniffles]
[music continues]
[tires screeching]
[crashing]
[horn blaring]
[crashing]
You get this crate
out of my way.
I am tremendously
so, so sorry, mister..
Whatever your name is.
I do seem to be blockerizing
and obstructivating
your mobility.
Obstructivating
my mobility willity.
However, Mr. Hosts,
if you would be so kind
as to hold my hot dog..
'That's a good fellow.'
I will de-blockorize and
de-obstructivate this roadway
allowing you to sally forth
on your merry, merry way.
I deeply deplore
any incovenience-alities
that I may
have caused you, mister..
...Greenface.
Greenface?
snap
I thank you for your patience
and I wish you
a felicitous resumption
on your interrupted journey
towards your ultimate
destination on..
Mr. Greenface?
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
[whistling]
[engine rumbling]
crash
[tires screeching]
crash
splash
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
[music continues]
[crashing]
Oops!
[engine rumbling]
[engines revving]
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
Phew!
Relax.
[mellow music]
In this world
Of complexitous
complicatation
In this world
Of peculitous puzzleazation
In this world
Of ridunculous
rufulization
There comes a time for
Relax-ification
Your life's full of boulders
But shrug your should-olders
Just shrug
your should-old-ers
Re-e-e-lax
[music continues]
In this world I've..
screech screech
In this world of pec..
screech screech
In this world..
screech screech
[The Grinch]
Having problems,
Mr. Cat in the Hat?
Come inside.
I have something to show you.
This, sir, is my Acoustical
Anti-Audial Bleeper.
Otherwise known
as my Vacu-Sound Sweeper.
That?
That's the darn thing
that makes the sound
sound stupid?
It sucks out of the air
every noise
every sound
and gargles the sound waves
for 50 miles 'round!
'Nifty little contraption,
isn't it?'
It's implausible,
it's impossible
it's unreasonable
and unlawsible.
Such things never happen
in the middle of the day.
'And if they do, I ignore them'
and they're bound
to go away..
screech screech
[Grinch laughing]
From now on, you will hear
what I want you to hear.
On again off again
Make the sound cough again
I am the boss
of what everyone hears
The sound of your voice
Is the sound of my choice
I am the master
of everyone's ears
With the flick of my thumb
With the greatest of ease
If I wish I can stop
All the buzzing of bees
And as for your lovebirds
I can't stand their chirping
So I just push my button
Your lovebirds start burping
[hiccupping]
The sounds that you make
Are the sounds of my choice
I can make you sound better
Or make you sound worse
When your bull
goes out wooing
There'll be no more mooing
[bell dinging]
When I wish to hear moos
I could hear them from youse
Not from me..
[mooing]
I can fuzzle the sound
Of what everyone hears
I'm the puzzle the master
of everyone's
E-e-a-rs
Ha-ha!
[engine revving]
crash
[tires screech]
[engine revving]
[Grinch laughing]
[The Grinch]
'I'm the puzzle'
'the master of everyone's ears.'
[laughing]
'Max. Max!'
'Where are you, Max?'
[whimpers]
'Oh, no, Maxie-Waxie.'
No hidey-widey
from Grinchy-Winchy.
That cat!
That beezleberry cat!
I snurgled his sound.
'Now I'll even do more.'
Take this up to my shop
on the 39th floor.
That cat's gonna suffer
like never before!
[laughs]
[dramatic music]
This is the liggle gear
And as you know
It goes 'round and it makes
The biggle gear go
And the biggle gear turns
The elliptical scrunch
Which in turn is attached
To the dratsital thrust
Which rotates the flange
Of the salamar gotch
And that decompresses
The spatulet springs
Which fluctuate 'round
In the rabulous rings
Which heats up the pongs
As they heat up the pings
And that brings about
The most horrible things
[laughing]
Ha!
[whimpering]
'Max.'
Do you know
what a lighthouse is?
'A lighthouse makes light.'
So, just for a lark
I built me a dark-house.
A dark-house makes dark.
I just push a button
up here in this place..
'...and you can't see your
mitten in front of your face.'
Huh? What? What..
I can't see my mitten
in front of my face.
[instrumental music]
screech
crash
[laughing]
[snarls]
How you doing, kitty-kitty?
Are you feeling pretty good
Mr. Cat in the Hoot?
Besides being boss of your ears
and your sound
I can make gloom
for a hundred miles 'round.
Ooh! That Grinch!
That Grinch!
That psychopathic Grinch!
Why is a Grinch?
What makes him tick?
Why is his Grinch brain
sick, sick, sick?
Oh, boy, if I had
a psychiatrist couch
I'd find out what's wrong
with that Grinchy Grouch.
That's a lot of rot.
Is there something
in your family tree
that causes Grinch delinquency?
Absolutely not!
As a boy were you never
a good Boy Scout?
Did you ever eat
too much sauerkraut?
Did your school teacher say
that you were a fool?
Did you dive
in an empty swimming pool?
Positively not!
Did you fight a lot
with your older sisters?
Did you suffer
from poison ivy blisters?
The shoes that you wore
Were they too tight?
Were you afraid to go out
In the dark at night?
Did some big bully
steal your kite?
Your teeth was there something
wrong with your bite?
Or maybe your mother didn't
Treat you right
Absotively, posolutely
that's a lot of rot.
Hm, one of the most difficult
patients I've ever had.
'I'm gonna have to make
a house call.'
boing
[engine rumbling]
[instrumental music]
[zapping]
[tires screeching]
Hm, this is a bit more
complicatacious than I thought.
[whirring]
[engine rumbling]
[music continues]
whoop
vroom
[tires screeching]
crash
[laughs]
That darkness is getting
quite dull
don't you think?
Let's liven things up
'with some persimmon pink.'
[instrumental music]
boing.
Phew!
May I suggest
this sizzling chef's special?
- But I'm not hungry.
- An excellent choice!
[indistinct chatter]
[instrumental music]
Here you are, sir.
The delicious
sizzling chef's special.
[inhales deeply]
Watch this, I'll give him
a double gagtical
flomax deluxe.
[beeping]
'Oh, what a super-dupe
flomax deluxe.'
Ah!
boing
[instrumental music]
[whirring]
[man screaming]
[laughs]
And now
I will give them
a triple ring fitzarung
gunkongeshlap.
With a marshmallow sauce
and a cherry on top.
[whirring]
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
[horn blaring]
[music continues]
[horn blaring]
[music continues]
[shatters]
[music continues]
That Grinch, that Grinch.
He has smuggled our light.
He's guzzled our sound.
He's bamboozled our lives.
And a way must be found
to cease him
from schploting
his evil around.
[dramatic music]
That Grinch. That Grinch.
Deep inside
his freaky freakness
there must be a soft spot.
[blows]
There must be a weakness.
Despite the grim fact that
he's depraved and deranged
I will find that soft spot.
That Grinch can be changed.
He hates cows.
He hates cats.
He hates frogs,
he hates doves.
Is there no one, no one?
Nobody he loves?
Absolutely not!
That's a lot of rot!
[whooshing]
Rowdy-doe! I've got it!
I've got it,
I've got the Grinch
psychological-ized.
You, you, you and you
follow me, men and madam.
We're going to un-Grinch
The Grinch.
- How am I doing, old fellow?
- Magnificently--
Pong pong pong
Pong
Hum-m-m
Oh soften your heart
Remember your mother
Everyone
Even a Grinch
Had a mother
Who taught him of love
Between one and another
Oh remember
your mother's
Warm arms
As she held you
Remember your sweet
mother's eyes
She adored you
Remember how hard
mother worked
To afford you
How she patted
your cheeks
While you sat
on her knees
Oh remember
your wonderful
Grinch mother please
Aa-uh aa-uh
Wherever she's now
Her eyes are still looking
Looking down on at you
And wondering
what's cooking
Deep down in your brain
Must you give her
more pain?
Please soften your heart
Make mom happy
Oh Grinch
Bum bum bum bum
[mellow music]
There, there, son.
Everything's
going to be alright.
Ma-mama?
[sniffles]
Yes, son.
Now, be a good boy
and clean up your room.
[The Grinch]
Yes, mama.
[sniffles]
Hand me a wrench, Max.
We've got work to do.
[male narrator]
Once again,
it was a beautiful morning.
Once again,
the sun came up glitzeling
and the witzel birds
once more were witzeling.
This was gooder than good.
This was grander than grand.
There was peace in his heart.
There'd be peace in the land.
And a very good morning to you,
Mr. Grinch.
Oh, it is, is it?
I think the time has come
for thee
to repeat The Grinch's oath..
[screeching]
[instrumental music]