The Halloween Family (2019) Movie Script

(playful instrumental music)
(crickets chirping)
(wolf howling)
- [Larry] This is it, Fred.
The night we've waited
for all year long.
- [Fred] Good Mischief Night,
Larry.
Oh, without a doubt, the
best night of the year.
- That's right.
What other time can
we be ourselves,
mingle with the living,
and have a total blast?
- Oh, none that I can think of.
Thank Hades for
Mischief Night, huh?
- The only time of year I
can go any place I want.
Nobody gets scared,
and everybody likes me.
They just think I'm a cool
dude in a cool costume.
- I wish I could say the same
thing.
Folks usually think I'm lazy.
Yeah, and just wrap myself
in head to toe in gauze
from the medicine cabinet.
Sometimes, I wanna unwrap,
and watch their faces when these
dusty bandages hit the floor.
(laughing)
Yeah, and poof,
there's nothing left.
- Now that would be some
kind of parlor trick, Fred.
- Yeah.
It would be.
But I don't know how
I'd ever rewrap myself.
I'm made up of dust
and stale air molecules
at this point, you know?
(laughing)
Oh, I'd just vanish.
- Then let's never do that.
You're my best friend, Fred.
Mischief Night wouldn't
be the same without you.
- You're not just saying that
because
I'm a 2,000 year old mummy.
Inviting me would be like
eating one of those
foam rubber pie displays
from the window of Mrs.
Crampton's
Cakes and Curiosities, are ya?
- Definitely not.
I'm saying it because I mean it,
Fred.
I can't imagine having more fun
with anyone on Mischief
Night than I have with you.
Even if you are a 2,000 year old
mummy.
- Oh, well thanks, Lar.
I think you're swell, too.
(laughing)
For a zombie.
- Hey, wouldn't it be wild
if these were costumes?
And in the morning,
we could wipe off the grease
paint,
and unwrap the bandages, and
voila!
We were just a couple of
guys from the neighborhood,
with jobs and hobbies,
and families.
(hesitating)
- Yeah.
That'd really be something.
I've been wrapped up
like this for so long.
I can't remember what it was
like before.
- Same here.
I used to love trick-or-treating
for all that candy.
Boy, I really had a sweet tooth.
Ever since I became a zombie,
though,
my diet's changed quite a bit.
I mean, I still have the sweet
tooth,
but my cravings are a little
different.
- That's an understatement.
Well listen.
There's no point in musing
about how it could be
when this is how it is.
We are what we are.
I'm a mummy,
and you're a zombie.
And tonight's Mischief Night.
So let's have fun.
- You know, Fred,
there might be somebody out
there
who could answer our wish.
- Oh, not with that old
legend again, Larry.
It's just a legend.
Nobody can answer our wish.
- Ah, alright.
- So, ready to have fun?
(light instrumental music)
- You bet.
- That's the spirit.
(laughing)
- You know, Fred, being
undead here in Halloween World
isn't so bad.
We have ghosts and
ghoulies behind every tree,
under every rock,
and Grand View Cemetery throws
the biggest parties ever.
- [Boo] Hey guys.
- Hey, Boo.
- Oh, sup Boo?
- Are you two ready for the
one and only Mischief Night?
- [Fred And Larry] Yeah!
- Oh, I'm telling you boys,
tonight's the greatest
night in recorded history.
(laughing)
So many opportunities
for creeps and frights.
With shrieks of terror
all through the night.
- It's guys like you who make it
as fun as it can be, Boo.
- No doubt.
What would Mischief Night be
without the one and only
Boogeyman?
- Thanks, boys.
I know I put on a savage front,
but it's nice to be appreciated.
It's hard work being the
Boogeyman.
(chuckling)
- Oh, I'll bet.
- I mean, I wanna scare the
whole world in one go, you know?
But I just can't.
So many victims, so little time.
- Frustrating.
- You got that right.
Hey, you guys wanna team up
tonight?
You take the East side,
I'll take the West.
We can work our way to the
middle
and spook folks white haired,
ah.
- That sounds like a good time,
Boo,
but we might just take it easy
tonight
and watch the festivities from
afar.
- Watch from afar?
What kind of evil-doing is that?
- We're not much interested
in evil-doing, Boo.
Oh, we wanna have fun.
- Fun?
Fun's in the eye of the
beholder, mummy.
And what's more fun than mayhem,
destruction, unbridled terror?
- Oh, I don't know.
Making friends, doing new
things, going new places.
- Guys, the chasm between us is
widening
like the river Styx.
Hm, what's with all this
feel-good mumbo jumbo
you're spewing out?
You got food poisoning?
Bite a bad brain, or something?
- No, Boo.
Everything's fine.
We'd just kinda like to mingle.
See how the other half lives.
- The living half.
- Right.
Maybe we can make some new
friends,
and do some different
stuff in the new year.
When everyone flees in horror
at the mere sight of you,
after a while, it gets to be a
real drag.
- If you ask me,
the only thing more fun than
making
folks flee in horror
is when you trap 'em in
when they got nowhere to run.
(laughing)
Talk about good times.
(light instrumental music)
- Say, Boo.
Have you ever heard the
ancient tale of Goul?
- You bet ya.
- Ooh, that's just legend,
right?
- Not at all, folks.
- See?
I told you.
- Goul is an ancient sage tree
that grows in the fat
countryside out of town.
- He does?
I knew it.
- But he ain't no easy find.
It's said that Goul's roots
are like giant squid tentacles.
And he can uproot himself
and move around at will.
- Whoa.
That's wild.
- Sure is.
Legend also has it that Goul
will grant
every traveler a wish.
One wish, once a year.
And once a year only.
You guys know when that is?
- It's gotta be tonight, right?
- Bingo, Sherlock.
Mischief Night it is.
- See?
Sounds like Goul could be the
answer
to all of our problems.
- I suppose he does.
Do you know where we might
find Goul tonight, Boo?
- Me?
Nah.
I've never seen Goul myself.
For all I know, the legend could
just be
a bedtime story to scare kids to
sleep.
Or to keep 'em up all night.
Which is even more fun.
- Oh.
- Cheer up, old chops.
I hear Goul lives somewhere
along
the brick road of the dead.
You could go and check for
yourselves
if the legend is true.
- The brick road of the dead?
But the brick road of the dead
doesn't exist in the realm
of conventional physics.
It's endless.
You could travel it for
eternity,
and never reach your
destination.
- That's right.
And when I was growing up,
my mom told me never to travel
the brick road of the dead.
She said only creepers used it,
and only bad stuff happened on
it.
- Yeah.
That's what I thought, too.
So I started hanging around it
for kicks.
But they've really
cleaned that road up a lot
in the last few centuries.
There's even a community garden
now.
- A community garden?
- Yeah, watch out, though.
It's full of man-eating plants
and stuff.
And you don't even wanna
meet the banana spiders.
Yeesh, they're huge.
Those things even give me the
willies.
- Thanks for the advice, Boo,
but it sounds kinda dangerous.
Maybe we'll just stay home
tonight,
and we'll watch the parade on
TV,
and play board games.
- Oh, give me a break, mummy.
Board games make you bored.
Now I know you guys are
deader than doornails,
but live a little,
for crying out loud.
(upbeat instrumental music)
It's not like you'll be alone.
You guys do everything together,
right?
So, go on a grand adventure.
Strike out for parts unknown.
Nobody can change your life
except you.
It's Mischief Night.
What do you have to lose?
- Yes.
- No.
(wolf howling)
(mellow instrumental music)
- Boo's right.
What do we have to lose?
I mean, look at us.
We're technically already dead.
It's not like we'd be killed
by a carnivorous plant
or heinous snake attack.
Let's go for it.
We've heard stories about
the brick road of the dead
forever.
What better time to
explore it for ourselves
than on this night of all
nights, Mischief Night.
- You're right, Lar.
What are we afraid of?
You're a zombie, for crying out
loud,
and I'm a mummy.
We're two of the most terrifying
creatures
to ever stalk the shadows.
Who's gonna mess with us?
(owl hooting)
What was that?
It sounded like a raptor.
Watch the sky!
If its talons get tangled in my
bandages,
I'm a goner.
- Calm down, Fred, calm down.
It was just Hootie, he lives
here.
He's our friend, remember?
- Oh.
Right.
I knew that.
I was just testing you.
Making sure you're up for this.
- Alright Fred.
Let's go get my walking shoes,
and tighten up your bandages.
We're gonna follow the
brick road of the dead,
wherever it leads.
(light suspenseful music)
(bird cawing)
(water dripping)
- Selma, Selma.
Selma.
There you are.
I have news.
- Pins!
I thought I told you never
to disturb me in the castle.
Especially when I'm casting
spells,
and conjuring wraiths.
- I know, I know,
but it's important, Selma.
You'll wanna hear this.
- Oh?
Important.
Like the time you interrupted my
seance
to tell me you messed
up your pumpkin carving?
- No, not like that.
Although that was a bummer.
I was going for a totally
creepy Boogeyman vibe, and--
- You're wasting my time, Pins.
Out with it.
What brings you to my castle
this late,
and on Mischief Night no less.
I should be 13 spells deep by
now,
enjoying a whirlwind of ghosts,
specters, and demons,
filling the skies overhead,
like a majestic, supernatural
tornado,
that only the wicked witch
of the dead can summon.
- You are amazingly talented,
Selma.
The undisputed wicked witch of
the dead.
I'm forever in your command.
- Yes, that's because I put you
under a spell that makes
you beholden to me.
And me alone.
Forever and ever.
- Right, but I mean, I'm okay
with it,
is what I'm saying.
Every sidekick needs a master,
and I'm proud to call you mine.
- Cut to the chase, Pins.
My feet are falling asleep.
- My sixth sense was tingling
like mad,
so I opened my third eye,
and saw something I think
you'll find interesting.
Two friends from Halloween World
have set out on the
brick road of the dead.
- Oh, they have, have they?
And what do these fiends
hope to find out there?
- They've gone in search of
Goul, Selma.
They want to confer with none
another
than the magical sage tree.
- Goul?
So it's power they seek, eh?
Even after my expressed commands
to all in Halloween World
never to travel the
brick road of the dead?
Less they incur my wrath?
- Even still, they persist.
Shall I intercept them,
and make them realize the
severity of their error?
Make them rue the day they were
born?
I mean, they died?
- No, Pins, No.
Leave them be.
We'll wait and watch.
I believe those fiends
will frighten easily,
and flee back to their miserable
Halloween
huts before dawn,
with a tale of terror they'll
tell their grandchildren.
Despite their fleeting bravery,
I know they are spineless.
They shan't get far.
- As you wish, Selma.
- Nay, as I command, Pins.
Now, leave me.
I've many spirits to conjure
before the morning light.
Tonight shall be a Mischief
Night for the ages.
(cackling)
(bird cawing)
(owls hooting
- Ah, just think of it, Fred.
(gentle instrumental music)
Both of us, alive and kicking.
No longer members of the undead.
What a trip that would be.
- Yeah, it would be.
Do you think Halloween World
would still accept us as one of
its own?
- Hm, I don't know.
But I guess we wouldn't be,
if both you and I had blood
coursing through our veins,
breath filling our lungs,
twinkles in our eyes, pep in our
step,
and hearts beating with life.
We'd probably have to move out.
- Isn't that a kicker.
If we get everything we ever
wanted,
and as a result, lose everything
we have.
- Just one of the endless
conundrums
that come with being alive,
Fred.
- It's still better than
being dusty all the time.
Oh, I'd love to take a bath.
A long bath.
By candlelight.
Oh, I'd soak for hours.
Maybe even days.
- And, I can actually order
from a restaurant menu.
I've always been curious about
chicken pot pies and milkshakes.
Ah, I'd love to try a
big strawberry milkshake.
- Me too.
And I could drink a
whole one down,
without sprouting
leaks from my sides.
Such a mess.
And I could try face cream.
(laughing)
Heck, you know,
after 2,000 years,
I might need it a little.
Hey, I wonder if I'm handsome.
What if I look better
with these bandages on,
and I should leave
well enough alone?
Oh, the joke sure would
be on me, then, oh.
- Nah, don't think
like that, Fred.
You've been my best friend
for as long as I can remember.
You're caring, and smart,
and generous,
and fun to be around.
It doesn't matter
what you look like
under the bandages.
You'll always be
my main mummy.
- Oh.
Thanks buddy.
And just so you know,
(bright instrumental music)
I'd never hold it against you
if you decided to order
a side of warm brains
with your pot pie.
- Thanks, Fred.
But I don't think the
living serve warm brains.
It's kind of a faux pas.
I think we ought to find
Goul before sunrise.
If there's black magic at play,
he might just be a regular
old tree in the daytime.
- Demon speed, friends.
You're gonna need it.
- Selma, my sixth
sense is blowing up.
My pins are tingling.
Those friends from Halloween
World
haven't turned back in terror.
In fact, they're moving
even faster than we thought.
- Is that so?
Exactly how fast are they
moving, Pins?
- Lightning fast.
For two non-flying creatures,
they're covering incredible
ground.
No one in recent memory's been
as sure-footed on the brick
road of the dead as these two.
- How charming.
Unfortunately for them, I don't
do charms.
Why don't I call in a little
favor,
and alter their track
from charmed to cursed?
- Sweet.
I love it when you throw curses,
Selma.
- You and everybody else, Pins.
Stand back while I awaken
my magic vortex mirror.
Merwin.
- Merwin?
Ooh, this is gonna be bad.
In a good way.
- Sh, quiet.
(clearing throat)
From the darkest depths for
souls to take,
obey me now, mirror awake.
- [Pins] Whoa.
(whooshing)
- Greetings, Merwin.
So nice to see you again.
Merwin, two friends from a far
away land
dare defy my will.
To deter their advance,
I seek an ally of the night.
Connect me to our old friend,
Count Dracula.
(cackling)
Good evening, Count.
Dashing as ever, I see.
- Ah, my sweet Selma.
So fair, so frightful.
(Selma cackling)
- You're still a charmer,
Dracula.
We must get together sometime,
and enjoy each other's company.
Over some toad saliva, perhaps.
- Indeed, but remember,
I never drink,
toad saliva.
- How could I forget?
Silly of me, Dracula.
I have a little problem.
Two of them, actually.
And I was wondering if you might
like
to have a little fun this
Mischief Night,
and help rid me of them.
- But of course, Selma.
Ask and you shall receive.
Anything for the wanted
wicked witch of the dead.
- Wow, talk about connections.
- Count, there are
two pesky pedestrians
from Halloween World
making their way
along the brick
road of the dead,
which just so happens to run
right by your mansion, correct?
- That is correct.
Would you like me to,
(light instrumental music)
bring these pedestrians in
for a little nightcap?
- Yes, I think that
would be lovely, Count.
And who knows, they may even
want to stay there forever.
(cackling)
- I catch your drift,
witchy-poo dear.
And don't worry,
I'll describe the fate
those Halloweeners meet
when we next speak.
- I look forward to it, Dracula.
Until then, ciao.
- Ciao, sweet Selma.
(whooshing)
- Oh my gosh, that was Dracula.
Like, the Count Dracula.
You never told me you
knew Dracula, Selma.
- Yes, Pins.
He and I go back centuries.
Once upon a time,
we terrorized the
Transylvania countryside,
side by side.
What a delightful
blood bath it was.
- I love this job.
(light instrumental music)
- Larry, I've been thinking.
What if this tree isn't
friendly?
And what if it doesn't
want to grant our wishes,
like Boo said it would?
- Hm, I hadn't even
thought of that, Fred.
I suppose it's a possibility.
It's not like Goul makes
himself readily accessible.
- Right.
What do we do if the tree
decides it dislikes us,
and instead of
granting our wishes,
it puts on an evil
curse on our heads?
And we're doomed
to walk the Earth
as a mummy and
a zombie, forever.
- [Larry] I think you're
being a bit fatalistic.
- Look, I've been living
with this mummy's curse
for 2,000 years, Lar.
2,000 years.
I don't need to do
anything to make it worse.
- Are you saying you
want to turn back?
- I'm thinking about it.
It's getting darker out here.
Colder, and creepier.
- Since when has dark
and creepy bothered us?
- Well, you have a point.
(shivering)
But the cold sucks.
Stiffens my joints
and limbs right up.
And I don't need to
be any more rigid
than I already am.
- Just buck up and
hang in there, Fred.
If we just stick together,
I think everything will
work out for the best.
- Well I'll remember that, Lar.
Because this place
is ultra creep-tastic.
(light instrumental music)
(howling)
- Ah, listen to them.
Children of the night.
What music they make.
- Children?
I don't know about you,
but that sounded
like a wolf to me.
- Indeed, weary travelers.
There are predators
in these woods.
Why don't you two come inside,
kick off your shoes and relax,
stretch out,
lay your heads back,
expose your necks.
- Thanks for the offer, mister.
- Call me Count.
Count Dracula.
(wolf howling)
- Yikes, he's a vampire.
And not just a vampire,
the king of all vampires.
Let's go, Larry.
Let's get out of here.
- Hold on, Fred.
Sure, he's got a bad reputation,
but you can't believe
everything you hear.
He seems friendly enough.
Maybe he'll tell us
how close we are
to finding Goul.
- Or maybe he'll take a
bite out of our necks.
And I'm dry as the grave, Lar.
I don't even wanna think about
how mad Dracula
will be if he bites me,
and gets a mouthful of dust.
Let's go.
- Let me handle this.
Count Dracula,
maybe you can help us?
- Oh boy.
- Help you?
With what?
- We're looking for a tree
called Goul.
Could you please tell
us if we're headed
in the right direction?
We'd sure hate to
get lost out here,
on Mischief Night, no less.
- Yes, that would be
unfortunate.
Why don't you come
inside my mansion,
and we'll take a look at a map.
- No, no, no.
- That's mighty nice
of you, Count,
but I'm afraid Goul
won't appear on any maps.
We heard this tree moves around.
- Moves around?
But trees don't move around.
You know what moves around?
Tree monsters.
- [Larry And Fred] Monsters?
- Yes, monsters.
The tree you seek is evil,
and not to be trifled with.
Besides that, Goul hasn't
granted a wish
since the days of
horses and carriages.
Ah, those were the days.
Everyone so rosy, so plump.
Ah, I miss that.
- So you do know Goul?
- I know all things, traveler,
and see all things.
Like that steady
pulse in your neck,
going thump, thump,
thump thump, thump.
- For Heaven's sake, Lar,
let's get out of here.
- It's okay, Fred.
(chuckling)
I don't have a pulse.
- Come closer.
Let me get to know you better.
- You'll be sorely
disappointed, Count.
Trust us.
(chuckling)
- Thanks for talking
with us, Count.
We'll be on our way now,
but it was sure
nice meeting you.
- Leaving so soon?
But you just got here.
- And we have to run, literally.
Go, Larry, go.
(light suspenseful music)
- Be careful, travelers.
Some predators bite.
Ah, I'm getting
too old for this.
- Oh mummy, that was a
close call back there.
Did you see the Count's eyes?
Thought he was
gonna pounce on you,
and drain you like a sippy cup.
- Thanks for that visual.
I wonder if Dracula
was telling the truth.
- About watching
our neck pulses?
- No, about Goul not
granting wishes anymore.
It'd be a real shame
to come all this way
only to have to go all
the way back empty-handed.
Or worse, we could get lost,
and wander out here forever.
- Well, after meeting
Count Dracula,
I'm starting to
think we might not
want to be human out here, Lar.
Maybe the only way we can
survive a trip like this
is if we're like we are.
Already dead.
- Don't think like that, Fred.
We'll never know
what could've been
if we don't at least
give this a shot.
Besides, who do
you believe more?
Boo the Boogeyman, or
Count Dracula the vampire?
- I'm not sure either
of them can be trusted,
to tell you the truth.
Why can't we just
have normal friends,
like other folks?
- Because we live in
Halloween World, Fred.
The rules of the regular
world do not apply.
Never have, never will.
But, maybe after
we find that tree
and get our wishes,
we can be regular folks, too.
And things will be
better than ever.
- I sure hope you're right.
- We won't know
'til we find Goul.
Now come on, we're wasting time.
- Mirror, mirror,
eye in the sky,
who is the fairest
witch that flies?
(whooshing)
Oh Dracula, I didn't expect
to see you again so soon.
Tell me the good news.
- Good news?
I'm afraid I have none, Selma.
Those wayward
travelers got by me.
- They got, they got by you?
How?
- I'm not as young
and spry as I once was.
I'm afar from the savage
shape-shifting vampire
I was when we terrorized those
Transylvanian villages together.
- Now you tell me,
where did they go, Count?
- Ah, I don't know.
They ran off.
- And you didn't
even give chase?
- No, my nights of chasing
are long behind me.
The last time I tried it,
I stubbed my toe
badly on a rock.
So, I attempted to transform
into a bat and fly,
only to discover my
powers have greatly waned.
Instead, I turned into
a black billed cuckoo.
It was a bad night.
- But, but, I thought
I could count on you.
Of all creatures, Count.
- In my younger days,
I could have easily
talked those fools
into my mansion,
like flies to the spider.
But now my legend precedes me.
Everyone's on guard.
They've seen too many movies,
read too many books.
My story has horrified
generations,
and I don't even get royalties.
- Nobody ever said being
undead was fair, Count.
- Tell me about it.
I still pay utilities
on my mansion.
Do you know how
much my air conditioning
bill is every month?
It costs a fortune
to keep this place
as cold as the crypt.
Before long, I may
have to get a real job.
- Boohoo.
Try tombstone salesman.
It's right up your alley.
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have two Halloween
World misfits to stop.
- Allow me to make it
up to you, Selma.
I can book us some time at
Build-A-Broom in the mall.
It's a wonderful bonding
experience.
(whooshing)
- Ugh, sentimental
vampires suck.
- I'm the one who spots
what those Halloween
clowns are trying to do,
but Dracula is the one who gets
summoned to stop them.
Ah, he'll probably
get the credit
when all's said and done, too.
(sighing)
If only I were a feared
and mighty creature
like Count Dracula,
with a reputation
that preceded me,
and a legion of victims to prove
my dark powers to the world.
- Don't beat yourself
up over it, kid.
- Huh?
Boo, I thought I was alone.
- Yeah, I sneak up on people.
Can't help it.
Hope you don't mind.
I overheard you
talking to yourself.
- Oh, I don't care.
I talk to myself because Selma
doesn't want to hear
about my trivial problems.
- Cut yourself some slack, pal.
We can't all be a
world-famous vampire.
Sometimes, we just gotta
take what we're given,
and make the most of it.
- That's easy for you to say.
You're the Boogeyman.
You scare everybody, from
the minute they're born,
to the moment they
draw their last breath.
- Yeah.
(giggling)
It's pretty cool.
- I don't get to be cool.
I'm just a glorified teddy bear.
If not for Selma,
I'd probably be
stuck in the bottom
of some brat's toy
box for eternity.
- Hey, come on now, Pins.
A teddy bear could
do a lot worse
than palling around with
the wicked witch of the dead.
- I know, I know.
I just wish I could be
of more sinister value to her.
My sixth sense detected
those troublemakers
on the brick road of the dead,
but Selma's using her
magic mirror to stop them.
I'd love to do it myself,
but she doesn't even
think of asking me.
- Why don't you tell
her you want to help?
Listen, I know those two.
They live on my block,
for howling out loud.
They'll be lucky if they
find their way back home.
Much less find Goul,
the evil sage tree.
They were bumming out
about their lot in life.
Like you are now.
So I told 'em the story of Goul
just to give 'em some hope.
I don't know what
I was thinking.
I didn't think they'd
take me seriously.
But off they went.
- So Larry and Fred
aren't seeking out Goul
to ask for the
supernatural power
to attack Selma?
- No, those idiots don't
even know who Selma is.
They just don't want to be
Halloween World
creeps no more.
They wanna fit in some place.
And not have to wait
for one night a year
to go out and have fun.
- Wow, I didn't know we
had so much in common.
- Listen, don't tell no one
I told you that, though.
Especially Selma, you hear?
Now if you'll excuse me,
I gotta go see the old lady.
She also summoned me to
help stop Larry and Fred.
- You too?
Ah, I don't believe this.
I'm completely
useless around here.
I may as well be a dog toy.
(light suspenseful music)
(distant howling)
- Wow, look at this place, Fred.
Ah, I wonder who lives here.
- Hopefully not the Wolf Man.
I don't know if I can cope
with any more
super monsters tonight.
- Somehow, I doubt the Wolf Man
lives in a well
kept pumpkin house
along the brick
road of the dead.
- Hey, you never know.
Did you get a load of Dracula's
mansion digs back there?
I thought that guy lived
in a crumbling castle.
- Hey guys, I'm Bighead,
and this is my place
you're talking about.
- Oh, see Fred?
It's nice to meet you, Bighead.
My name's Larry, and
this is my buddy Fred.
- Nice to meet you.
Boy, I don't see many
travelers out here.
It's like everybody's
scared or something.
What are you two doing
all the way out here
on the brick road of the dead?
- We're looking for somebody.
- Oh yes?
Who?
Maybe I can help.
- A tree called Goul.
- Goul.
Wow, I haven't heard
that name in forever.
Goul's still around?
- Somewhere.
- Gosh.
I wish I'd known that.
- How come?
- Because, I'd go find him,
and wish for a new
head on my shoulders.
- [Fred And Larry] A new head?
- Yep.
A new head.
Mine's been rotting for
quite some time now.
And I need a replacement.
We don't see very much
sunlight out here, you know.
Pumpkins tend to rot
in the dewy night air.
- That's why we're looking
for Goul too, Bighead.
To make a wish.
- Is it true what they say?
That Goul grants wishes
on one night of the hear?
- On Mischief Night, tonight.
- Oh, it's true, alright.
I've seen it happen
with my own two eyes.
Well, it was a different
set of eyes, actually.
A different head.
(chuckling)
But you get the idea.
Same me.
- Got ya.
Bighead, if you want,
you're welcome to join us.
- Yeah.
There's strength in numbers.
And after our
run-in with Dracula,
we could use all the
strength we can muster.
(light music)
(distant howling)
(wind howling)
(bird cawing)
- Merwin, awaken.
(whooshing)
Connect me to a
friend who can halt
two trespassers in
their tracks at once.
I don't care who,
so long as they're ready
to intimidate and terrify.
(whooshing)
Hello, Frankie.
- Friend?
- It's me, Frankie.
Selma, the wicked
witch of the dead.
- Ah, hey Selma.
Say, I'm still waiting
for that shipment
of candy corn you promised me,
for running those vampire
bats out of our area.
Any word on that?
- Oh, that.
Your candy corn was
regrettably lost in transit.
It's so hard to find a reliable
delivery company these days.
Especially the ones that service
the brick road of the dead.
I'll have the candy
re-sent, Frankie.
In the meantime, I have
another job for you.
(rain pattering)
- So, everybody
in this whole land
is more valuable to the wicked
witch of the dead than I am,
and I'm the loyal one by her
side, from dusk 'til dawn.
I really need to examine
my priorities.
But, those knuckleheads
strutting down
the brick road of the
dead like they own it.
The impudence.
Don't they know the road belongs
to Selma?
I'll strike out on my own,
and find those goofs myself.
That'll show Selma
what I'm made of.
Things are gonna
change around here.
Wrap it up, mummy.
Chew on this, zombie.
Pins is coming for you both.
(light instrumental music)
- Ew.
What's that smell?
Be careful, you guys.
Don't step in something gross.
- I'm sorry, you guys.
I think that's me you smell.
- You?
Oh.
Your rotting head.
- Yeah.
It's been going bad
slowly for a while.
Now all this
exercise I'm getting,
combined with the humidity,
I'm afraid this is only
speeding the process up.
- It's okay, Bighead.
We understand.
Don't sweat it.
Wrong choice of words.
(laughing)
Listen, I'm sure we'll
find Goul before too long.
And you can wish for
a fresh pumpkin head.
- And once that tree
gets a whiff of you,
it'd be crazy not to
grant that wish.
- Right?
And the smell's not
all that bad, honestly.
- It's not?
- [Fred] It's not?
- No, it's kinda fruity.
Sort of pleasant.
(clearing throat)
Once you get used to it.
(Fred hesitating)
- Are we smelling the
same thing here, Lar?
- It's okay, guys.
You don't have to try
and make me feel better.
- Halt.
Who goes bump in my night?
(light suspenseful music)
What have we here?
The Three Dusk-eteers.
Isn't it past your
bedtimes, wanderers?
- We didn't mean
to bother you, sir.
We're just passing through.
- On our way to
an important meeting.
- An important meeting?
Who'd meet with a
motley crew like you?
- We're on our way to
see a tree named Goul.
- Goul?
- Yeah, you know him?
- I know Goul well
enough to know
he wouldn't want
to waste his time
on rabble like you three.
- What does rabble mean?
Is that good?
- No, it isn't.
We're sorry to hear that, sir.
But since we're here,
might you be able to tell us
how close we
are to finding Goul?
- I might.
- Sweet.
- But I won't.
- Oh.
- And if you wimpy wayfarers
don't get off my lawn,
I'll be forced to tear
you all limb from limb.
- Oh no.
Don't do that, big guy.
We have enough problems already.
- I can see that.
Your Mischief Night
mask looks ridiculous.
- My mask?
It's not a ma--
- Look sir.
We appreciate that it's late,
and you live here,
and you're not
particularly friendly.
- Larry, this guy's
already a bear.
Let's not poke him.
- I've dealt with grumps
like this before, Bighead.
You just have to give 'em a
taste of their own medicine.
But we certainly don't deserve
you getting in our faces,
and giving us grief.
So back off, you big lug.
And we'll be on our way.
Got it?
- You don't have
to get all mean.
- Oh, was I too mean?
- Meh, I wouldn't say mean.
A little harsh, maybe.
- I'm sorry, monster sir.
It's just that we're
all a little tense.
It's been a long night already,
and we have no idea how
much longer we're in for.
We've never ventured this
far from home before.
- I know, I came out
here to scare you three
into turning back.
Although I thought there
were only two of you.
Anyway, I'd give it
the old college try,
but it's time to face the facts.
I'm just no good
at scaring folks.
I'm not a very good monster.
- Oh, don't get
down on yourself.
Sure there's somebody out there
who's absolutely
petrified of you.
- You think so?
- Totally.
I mean, you're huge,
and you look like
you could really
wreak some havoc
if you wanted to.
(chuckling)
- I really could tear
you guys limb from limb.
- Hey, easy.
Easy.
- We believe you.
But sir, if you don't
mind me asking,
how did you know two of
us were coming by tonight?
- Selma told me.
- Selma?
Who's Selma?
- She's the wicked
witch of the dead.
This is her road you're
traveling on.
At least she sees it is.
And she wants to
make you guys disappear.
- Selma the witch
is watching us?
I knew I should've stayed home
and watched Pumpkin Patch Slip
and Move.
- But, how does she
know about us?
Never heard of her.
- Selma knows everything.
She has eyes in
the back of her head,
and more ears
than you can count.
- Sounds ugly.
- Does she have others on
the lookout for us, too?
- That I don't know.
But I'd proceed with
caution if I were you guys.
Hey, what's that
delicious smell?
You guys have candy?
- Candy?
- He's after Bighead's
rotten pumpkin.
- It's not candy you smell, sir.
It's pumpkin seeds.
- Salted pumpkin seeds?
- Nah, they're pretty old.
We need to throw 'em away.
- You really know how to make
a guy feel special, Fred.
(slurping)
- I'm making sure this big lug
doesn't eat your
head in one bite.
- Yikes.
- Sir, about Goul.
Can you tell us if we're close?
- It's hard to say.
Goul's a tricky tree.
He moves around.
- So we hear.
- Last I saw him,
he was out by the
bends in the road.
About half a monster mile on.
Keep your eyes open when it
starts getting zig-zaggy.
- What does Goul look like?
- You know, I'm not sure.
He's never stuck his head out
of that old tree and said hi.
But you can't miss him.
- We can't?
How's that?
- Because he'll spot
you before you spot him.
(swallowing nervously)
- Great, just what we need.
More creepers watching us.
- Thank you, sir.
And thanks for not
tearing us limb from limb.
- Don't mention it.
Maybe next time.
(wolf howling)
- Huh, what was that?
(owl hooting)
Blast, be gone, scary creature.
Leave me alone.
(howling)
Yikes, that was
definitely a ghost.
I'm surrounded.
If I'm not careful,
it'll be curtains for me.
Oh, what was I thinking?
If Selma has to come rescue me
from my own mission,
I'll be the laughing
stock forever.
I never should've come
out here. That was stupid.
Stupid stupid stupid.
(animal growling)
(Pins yelping)
- Oh, Pins.
Pins.
Bring me my cauldron.
I want to conjure
more malicious specters
and turn them loose on tonight's
Mischief Night festivities.
We can't have too many
people enjoying themselves
now can we?
There must be
adequate terror and dread
in the streets.
Pins.
Pins.
Pins?
Pins.
Can you hear me?
Oh where are you, Pins?
Pins?
Merwin, show me Pins at once.
(whooshing)
What?
What is this fresh madness?
Pins on the brick
road of the dead?
I didn't grant him permission
to leave the castle.
- [Merwin] Mm hmm.
- He what?
That silly little voodoo doll.
What does he intend to do,
get under foot and
trip up those searchers
before they can find the tree?
Unbelievable.
With any luck,
he's already smashed
that mummy and zombie to bits.
(whooshing)
Frankie, tell me you
annihilated those two
fiendish rubes
atop the very bricks
on which they stood.
- First off.
It's not two rubes, it's three.
Secondly, no, Selma.
I let them go.
- What?
Three?
How dare they.
As for you, Frankie.
I told you to.
- I know, I know.
But try as I might,
I'm just not a good monster.
- Not a good,
I don't believe
I'm hearing this.
How can you not be a
good monster, Frankie?
You're the most hideous
looking creature I know.
A hulking mass of horror.
A lurching lug of terror.
With a face only a mad
scientist could love.
And then maybe.
- Thanks Selma, I think.
- Don't thank me.
You had one job,
Frankie, one job.
- I know, and I blew it.
I'm so sorry, Selma.
I don't deserve
to be called a monster.
- No, Frankie.
After tonight's blunder,
you don't.
Lucky for me, I have
a secret weapon,
and this secret weapon is all
I'll need
to crush those traveling
fools, once and for all.
(laughing)
- Can I go now?
I want to make the Mischief
Night
Big and Tall Party.
- Goodbye, and good riddance.
(light instrumental music)
(distant howling)
- Hey look, the road
starts winding up ahead.
I think this is what the big
monster
was talking about.
We might be getting closer to
Goul.
(swallowing nervously)
- Now that we're getting closer,
I'm getting more nervous, Lar.
What if it doesn't go like we
planned?
Oh, what if Goul hates us?
What if he hits us with
a lightning bolt curse,
and turns us all into
cockroaches?
- Cockroaches, Fred, really?
- Really.
Then we'd be even worse
off than we are now.
And I go from a fine young man
to a decrepit mummy,
to a creepy crawling vermin.
It's not a good life trajectory.
It's not a good death
trajectory, either.
- Are you kidding me right now?
Why would Goul even care
to want to turn us into insects?
- I don't know.
But at least up 'til now,
I've had the benefit of
being scary to some folks.
People think mummies can curse
you.
I mean, we both know
I wouldn't hurt a fly.
But others don't know that.
Sometimes a snarl and a glare
is all it takes to send them
running for the hills.
But if I became a cockroach,
they might just step on me,
splat.
Or set traps, so many traps.
There will be traps everywhere.
Roach motels.
Where roaches check in,
but they don't check out.
- I give up.
- Does his brain always go
into overdrive like this?
- Pretty much.
Fred's a neurotic mess, really.
(sighing)
But he's my best friend.
And I care about him.
- That's so nice.
You're really lucky to have
a BFF like Larry, Fred.
I can't even remember
the last friend I made.
- Well, it was pretty
recent, I can tell you that.
We're your friends, Bighead.
- That's right.
You can count on us, Bighead.
And Larry, you can count on me.
- I just want you to be happy,
Fred.
I don't like seeing you
so down on yourself.
2,000 years ago, you
were a great young man,
and you're a great mummy now,
and you know what?
If things don't go our way,
and Goul turns us into a bunch
of skittering cockroaches,
you'll be a great cockroach,
too.
Because it's what's inside that
counts.
And you've got a good
heart and a kind soul.
- Golly.
This is touching.
I had no idea when I joined you
guys
that this trip could be a
tearjerker.
I just,
(weeping)
I need a second to collect
myself.
(light ominous music)
- Hey, look, up ahead.
- Is it Goul?
- Who else could possibly
be lurking out here at this time
of night?
- Your worst nightmare
in the flesh, sort of.
(gasping)
- It's him.
Oh, I told you he'd be mad.
- No, that's not Goul.
Look.
- Prepare to meet your makers,
whoever they are.
- Yikes, I don't even know who
made me.
What would I say?
What would we do?
What if we didn't click?
Oh no, I couldn't bear the
rejection.
- Not so fast, you.
Identify yourself, or get out of
our way.
- Easy, Lar.
That bonehead looks dangerous.
- My name's Rattles,
and I've seen my share of
battles.
I fight until they're done,
and I win every one.
- Oh, he's like some kind of
fledgling rapper, or something.
- I have skills you can
only dream of, dust cloth.
- Dust cloth?
I'll have you know I'm a mummy.
A 2,000 year old one.
I've given my share of shocks
and scares.
So punks like you had best
beware.
- Come on, you guys.
Look at this joker.
He's nothing but a bag of bones.
And there's three of us.
Let's take him.
- Take me?
Take me?
Bring it on, vagabonds.
Hiya.
- Ooh, that bag of bones knows
Kung Fu.
Run!
(suspenseful music)
(rocks skidding)
- Whoa, watch out, you guys.
We almost ran right over this
little kid.
- What?
(light instrumental music)
Who are you calling a
little kid, melon head?
- Melon?
No, it's a pumpkin, silly.
I know it's rotting and all,
but it doesn't look that bad.
- The mirror would beg
to differ, scarecrow.
- We don't mean any harm, little
buddy.
Say, what are you doing
out here all by yourself?
Tonight's Mischief Night.
It's not safe.
- I'm not your little buddy,
you wannabe invisible man.
I'll have you know my name's
Pins,
and I'm a powerful and feared
sorcerer.
- Oh.
- Hm.
- Sorcerers sure look
different these days.
- Time to pay the toll,
travelers.
I'm about to put an end
to your little charade.
- Charades?
No, we're not playing
charades, little guy.
We always look like this.
- Yeah, we're from Halloween
World,
on a very important mission.
- Duh, I know that.
I could see you jerks
as soon as you began your
journey,
with the use of my mighty sixth
sense.
- Get out.
- No way.
- Way.
And if you clowns know
what's good for you,
you'll turn back right now.
- Or what?
You gonna put a curse on us?
- Oh.
- How cute.
- Cute?
Did you just call me cute?
Why you.
- Listen, Pins.
There's one seriously
scary skeleton out there,
and he's hot on our heels.
- We should all stick together,
and get out of here as fast as
we can.
- Aha.
Thought you could escape
me that easily, eh?
No dice, suckers.
- Rattles.
What's up, buddy?
(Bighead gasping)
- They know each other.
- Pins, my man.
How you been?
- Prickly, you?
- You know me.
Just taking care of some light
work
for the lady of the castle.
- Me too.
- I think they're talking about
us.
- You mean, one of you is
the lady of the castle?
- No, we're the light work.
- Oh.
- Hey, let me finish off these
fools,
then we can go catch
some trick-or-treating.
- Okay.
I love holding people up for
more candy
than they want to give.
- So do I.
I let them give me there,
oh, what a cool costume spiel,
then I'm like, is that all you
got?
Their faces are priceless.
(laughing)
- I'll bet.
Let's dump these dopes
and rake those candy
merchants over the coals.
- I'm in.
- Listen fellas, there's two of
them,
and I'm like, 85% dust
particles.
So that's pretty much even odds.
- If worst comes to worst,
I can throw my head at them.
- Rotten pumpkin bomb, great
idea.
- Time's wasting.
How do you wanna nix these
three nitwits, Rattles?
- Hm.
Let's make it slow and
agonizing.
Let's show 'em how we roll
with a little bayou black magic
ritual.
- Nice.
Hit it.
- Uh oh.
Hit what?
What do we do, you guys?
- [All Three] Run!
- Yeah, how about now?
Boo yeah.
- Boom, there it is.
Where you at now, monsters?
- What what what?
(light music)
Hey, if we do this long enough,
we can summon a subterranean
mega mole.
- A subterranean mega mole?
That'll scare the wits out of
those three.
- What wits?
Look at 'em go.
- I bet they don't stop
running 'til they're home.
Keep dancing.
I wanna meet a mega mole.
- You asked for it, Pins.
Keep pace with me, juju doe.
Uh uh, work it, work it.
- I don't believe what I'm
seeing.
If you want a thing done right,
you've got to do it yourself.
That's enough, Merwin.
(whooshing)
Merwin, make way.
I'm coming through.
(whooshing)
(light instrumental music)
(feet pattering)
- Where are they going?
Did we lose 'em?
(panting)
- I don't know.
I don't see them.
I think we got away.
- Hey, look at this place.
Somebody lives here.
- It's a farm.
A big one.
- I hope they're friendly.
I've had it up to here
with monsters giving us
problems.
- Tell me about it.
Maybe we should go knock on the
door.
- Or maybe we should keep going.
Might be a big old meanie in
there.
Or a whole family of meanies.
- Fred's right.
There's no telling who lives
here.
- But you live out here,
Bighead.
And you're a nice guy.
Maybe they can help us find
Goul.
- Yes.
Or maybe they're friends
with those other two,
and they'll call 'em in and
corner us.
It's not worth the risk.
- No risk, no reward.
- That's a good point too, Lar.
- Listen, you guys.
My head might be rotten,
but I have every
intention of keeping it on
as long as possible, okay?
If it comes off,
I want a shiny, plump new one
to replace it immediately.
- I understand, Bighead.
But, think about it.
What better place to pick out
a brand new pumpkin head
than a pumpkin farm.
- Oh.
(chuckling)
I get it.
I wonder if they'll let
us pick out their crops.
- Only one way to find out.
(light mystery music)
(birds chirping)
(bell dinging)
- Selma, what a surprise.
I've never seen you on the
brick road of the dead.
Much less at my humble abode.
- I'd hardly call this
place humble, Count.
It's rather befitting a
bloodsucker of your stature.
- Why, thank you.
Might I add, you are my
favorite wicked witch
with which to socialize.
- That's quite a tongue twister,
Count.
Try saying it three times fast.
- Alright.
My favorite wicked witch
with which to socialize.
My favorite wicked witch
with which to socialize.
My favorite wicked witch which
which,
oh you got me.
It is a tongue twister.
Ow, I think I nicked my tongue
with a fang, actually.
- Count, I'm here tonight
because circumstances
necessitate
my direct involvement.
Every creature in my employ
seems to be letting me down.
- My apologies again, Selma.
I have no excuse,
other than my own lazy
exhaustion.
I need to remember what it was
like
scouring the Transylvania
hillsides,
seeking victims like the owl
does mice.
- Whatever works for you,
mister.
- Would you care to join
me in a little nightcap?
Give our reflexes a workout.
Sharpen our instincts.
We could corner a sheep
to see which one of us frightens
into running away first.
- There you go with the
tongue twisters again.
- Well I don't want you
to bite yours clean off.
So we'll say, some other time.
- Very well.
Until we meet again, my sweet
Selma.
- No one else calls me
sweet but you, Count.
You sure know how to charm a
witch.
T-T-F-N.
- T-T-F-N?
- Ta ta for now.
- Ooh.
Ah, what a witch.
(light instrumental music)
(feet pattering)
(rocks sliding)
- You there.
(speaking in foreign language)
Why are you gathering on my
farmland?
What's the meaning of this,
banditos?
- Oh, we're just passion
through, Senor.
- Senor?
Why so formal?
Call me Senor Tobias.
- Okay, Senor Tobias.
Maybe you can help us.
We're looking for a tree.
- A tree?
You three are tree trimmers?
Why didn't you say something?
Where are your tools?
And where's your truck?
- No, we...
- Do you know what?
Doesn't matter.
I want you boys to come take a
look
at this unruly elm out back.
If you can pull her down,
I'd be obliged.
Her branches block all my
moonlight.
- We appreciate the offer, Senor
Tobias,
but we're not groundskeepers.
- You're not?
Well what are you then?
Wait, don't tell me.
You're traveling salesmen?
- No, we're not salesmen either,
Senor.
- But we are travelers.
(chuckling)
- Good.
I like an honest pilgrim.
Salesmen, though, I cannot
stand.
If their lips are moving,
they're selling.
- Thanks for the tips.
- Now listen, somebody,
and I don't care who,
needs to spell this out for me.
You say you're looking for a
tree.
But you're not yard workers.
What in tarnation is that about?
You some kind of stump
huggers or something?
- We're looking for the
legendary
magical tree called Goul.
Do you know anything about it,
Senor?
- Goul, you say.
(chuckling)
There's no tree around here
called Goul, muchachos.
- Oh.
- What, no tree called Goul?
You gotta be kidding me.
We came all this way,
risked our necks with Dracula,
risked our backs with Frankie,
risked our lives with Rattles,
and who even know what we risked
with that tiny little thingy
named Pins.
- He's so cute.
- Totally cute.
- All for nothing.
I don't believe this.
I think I'm gonna cry.
Oh, I'm mostly dust,
so I don't know how in the world
I'll generate tears.
(weeping)
But I think I'm gonna cry.
- Don't fall to pieces, Fred.
Just because Senor Tobias
doesn't know,
doesn't mean Goul's not here.
Somewhere.
- Right.
Well we'll come up with a plan
B.
- Hold on a second.
(speaking in foreign language)
What I said was,
I didn't know any tree called
Goul.
But a tree stump called Goul,
I can point you to it
lickety-split, okay?
(crickets chirping)
(light suspenseful music)
- This is it, you guys.
This is exactly where Senor
Tobias
told us to look.
- Yeah, it is.
But these all look like every
other tree
we passed on the way.
I don't see Goul anywhere.
(gasping)
- No, look.
There he is.
That's gotta be him, that's
Goul.
- Excuse us.
Goul?
- Yes?
(gasping)
- Get out.
It is him.
Oh, we did it.
We found Goul.
- [Goul] Who dares disturb my
slumber?
- Uh oh.
He's not happy to see us.
- He's probably just surprised
is all.
I mean, how many folks do you
think
actually make the trek to find
him?
- I don't know anybody else
who'd be
plum crazy enough to do what
we're doing.
- You guys have a point there.
Should we hurry up and make our
wishes
so we can leave him be?
- Well, that seems rude.
How would you like it if a
bunch of strange monsters
just showed up at your doorstep
in the middle of the
night, asking for favors?
- They did.
- Oh, yeah.
- Hm, I guess you're right.
How did you like that?
- Just fine, since I was invited
along.
If you'd have bugged me and took
off,
I wouldn't be too happy at all.
- Well, we're not gonna do that,
then.
Follow my lead.
- Last time I followed Larry's
lead,
we found ourselves at the
bottom of a pendulum pit.
- Ah, hi Goul.
I'm Larry, and these are my
buddies,
Fred and Bighead.
We're from the town of Halloween
World.
And we were just taking a
little Mischief Night stroll,
when we happened to hear about
you.
- You're talking too much.
Cut to the chase.
- I know what I'm doing, Fred.
- Okay okay.
I'm just saying, wasting time's
as bad
as being too abrupt.
- He's right, Larry.
- Will you both please let me
handle this?
I know what I'm doing, I got
this.
(sighing)
(chuckling)
Pleasant weather we're
having tonight, huh?
(sniffing)
- [Goul] What's that awful
smell?
(bright instrumental music)
- [Both] Selma.
- Well well well.
Fancy meeting you here, Pins.
- I couldn't stand seeing
you so distraught, Selma.
I wanted to chip in and do my
part.
- How noble of you.
Working hard, are we?
- Hot on their trail.
- Hm.
Have them pinpointed, do you?
- Ha, pinpointed.
I see what you did there.
- Shush, Rattles.
I'm speaking with Selma.
As a matter of fact,
we do have their location
pinpointed.
We were closing in on
their sorry carcasses
just as we ran into you.
- So, the fact that you
haven't yet caught them
has nothing to do with that
little
dancing interlude from earlier?
- Oh.
(chuckling nervously)
You saw that?
- I can see everything, Pins.
You know that.
- Oh, don't blame Pins, Selma.
It was my idea.
I thought we could conjure
a subterranean mega mole
and have it do our bidding.
- Mm hmm.
A little tougher than you
thought, eh?
- Yeah, it was hecka hard.
Warlocking is not for just
anybody.
- It sounded like a good idea,
Selma.
When in Rome, you know.
- You're not in Rome, Pins.
Rome fell.
You're on the brick road of the
dead.
My brick road of the dead.
And I have no intention of
letting
two bumblers from beyond the
grave
steal it out from under me.
Play time's over.
It's time to find those two,
and make examples of them.
- Three.
- Oh yeah.
I heard about that.
- Seems they picked up a friend
someplace.
- They picked up a friend?
I don't care if they recruited
an army.
This ends tonight.
I hope they've all enjoyed
their Mischief Night
because it's going to be their
last.
- Alright, let's go get 'em.
Selma, lead the way.
- Double double, toil and
trouble.
Drop this bag of bones.
Now pop his bubble.
(gasping)
- Selma, you,
you just killed Rattles.
- Oh, balderdash.
Rattles died 100 years ago.
He's the walking dead.
I merely cast a sleep spell on
him.
He needs his rest.
When he wakes, he won't remember
a thing.
He was useless to me anyway.
We'll carry on without him.
- So, you're not gonna
cast a spell on me, too?
- No, Pins.
You're far to subservient for
that.
Good acolytes are hard to find.
Now come, it'll be morning soon,
and I hate the sunshine.
I've avoided it for centuries.
Look at my soft skin.
I am not about to start tanning
now.
- [Pins] Yes, Selma, thank you,
Selma.
- Shut up, Pins.
- As you command, Selma.
(ominous music)
- Yeah so then Larry says,
oh, I didn't know you
were a headless horseman.
(all laughing)
I'm telling you,
if he had a head,
it would've exploded right
there.
- My goodness.
You sound like you're a lot of
fun.
- That we are, Goul.
But you know what would make us
even more fun than we already
are?
- What's that, Larry?
- Wait for it.
Wait for it.
(chuckling)
- If our wishes came true.
- [Goul] Oh, what wishes?
- The unique individual wishes
that we three brought with us
tonight.
- To present to you.
In the hope that you'll grant
them.
- And make each of us
happier and better than we are
now.
- We heard you grant one wish
per visitor,
on one night of the year only.
So here we are.
(hesitating)
- What do you say, Goul?
Can we tell you our wishes?
- Guys.
I need to tell you something.
- Uh oh.
This might be that cockroach
curse
Fred was afraid of.
- The story of this tree
stump granting wishes
is nothing more than a rumor,
started by those who did not
wish
to see me living in peace and
tranquility.
And by those with the
unquenchable need
to believe in something beyond
themselves.
And to sell for their own
shortcomings,
and an excuse not to
have to work too hard,
nor reach too high.
- So what you're saying is,
I'm stuck being a centuries-old
mummy
for all eternity?
- And I'm stuck being a zombie
forever?
- And I'm stuck with this
bloated,
rotten, smelly noggin,
until it drops off and
smooshes on the ground?
- Well, yes.
If you choose to see
those traits as negative.
- Negative?
How else can I see this head?
It grosses out everyone
who gets within sniffing
distance of me.
I'll never make friends again.
(weeping)
Never be wanted.
Never be loved.
- Bighead, stop and listen to
yourself.
You're surrounded by friends as
you speak.
And they find you wholly
endearing.
Stinky pumpkin head and all.
And Fred, you're sick and
tired of being mummified,
yet you carry with you the
wisdom
of thousands of years of
experience.
Everyone in your town
comes to you for advice,
do they not?
- Well,
yeah, they do.
- And they still invite you to
parties,
and still laugh at your jokes,
correct?
- Right.
No matter how bad they are.
(laughing)
- Zombie Larry, so brave and
true.
You're the foul glue that holds
your circle of friends
together, are you not?
- I don't know, Goul.
I never really thought about it.
- Well, you should.
The three of you already possess
the qualities you've come
seeking.
Therefor, there is nothing
you can be granted.
The next time any of you feel as
though
you're not good enough,
you need only look deeper into
the mirror,
and the answers will be there.
- I agree, silly stump.
The mirror reveals all.
Just as it revealed to me
what you three have been up to.
- You must be Selma.
We heard you have a problem with
us.
- Yes, Larry.
In fact, I do.
- She knows your name, Lar.
- And I know yours, Fred.
And you, ugh.
Are you the one behind
that dreadful smell?
- Yes.
I am, witch.
And the name's Bighead.
- How fitting.
What in Halloween World made you
think
you could just come ask this
tree
for supernatural powers?
- It's not powers we're after,
witch.
We just wanna be normal and fit
in.
- Yeah, we don't have to
wait for one night a year
to show our faces and mingle.
We wanna make new friends,
and do fun things,
and be like other folks.
- And I want a new head.
- [Pins] How drab.
- Seriously.
Who wants to be like everyone
else?
You mean to tell me you risked
your own death tonight
in the hopes of losing
what makes you unique?
You're bigger fools than I
thought.
So, this is the elusive
and legendary Goul, eh?
Dazzle us with your fanciful
conjurings,
your magical summonings,
your dark delights.
Surely a bat of your caliber
has some tricks up its
branches, so to speak.
Give us what you got,
or stand down and watch a true
witch work.
- Okay, the floor's yours.
- Very well, then.
That you would decline
a public test of power
on this night of all
nights, Mischief Night,
speaks volumes, tree.
Now watch while I show
you all how it's done.
Wraiths in flight, the monsters
unite,
black magic works through
this witch tonight.
(cackling)
- Wow.
(sighing)
- And we came so close.
I guess this is the end of the
brick road
of the dead for us, Fred.
- What do you mean, Lar?
We're here.
We made it.
- Yeah, and Goul denied our
wishes,
and now Selma's gonna put
the nail in our coffin.
It's over.
- You're not completely witless,
I see.
Don't worry, wretches.
There's plenty of room
for servants in my castle.
Perhaps I'll take you into my
employ.
- Oh, this just keeps
getting better and better.
Not only did we travel all this
way
for absolutely nothing,
but I have to stay a
crusty old mummy forever,
and go to work in some wicked
witch's
cold dark castle.
- Cold and dark?
My castle features the most
up-to-date comforts and
amenities
you'll find anywhere.
Including a state-of-the-art
Bigfoot breadth hot
tub, I'll have you know.
- Wow, yeah.
I've always wondered about
those Bigfoot breadth hot tubs.
Does it have the back jets?
- It has the back jets.
- Ooh, and we can use
it after a day's work?
- I didn't say that.
- See?
This sucks.
- Your opinion doesn't matter,
mummy.
Heed my marching orders,
or suffer my wrath.
- But I--
- Move.
- Hold it right there, witch.
- Eh?
- I've listened to your
bluster long enough.
Your pompous posturing and
hollow threats
mean nothing out here.
You see, I know better than
anyone
that what you see can't
always be believed.
- Oh my Goul, it's a bat.
- Mind blown.
Mind blown.
- That's right.
It was me all along.
I'm Mandy, and I live
inside that hollow tree.
- Ha, some sorcery.
You've conjured a cute little
fruit bat.
What are you going to
do to us, little one?
Pelt us with grapes?
- No, I'm gonna tell you
something you need to hear.
Something you should've heard
long ago.
Sometimes, we jump to
conclusions
based on what we see and hear
when it's what's inside
that really counts.
You may look wicked and
evil on the outside, Selma,
but inside, you're sad and
worried.
And Larry and Fred may
look weak and weary,
but inside, they're strong and
brave.
And strength beats weakness
any night of the year.
- This is unbelievable.
You mean there is no Goul the
sage tree?
- It's just a fruit bat playing
dress-up,
who fooled the entire
countryside?
- Um, hello.
You see these fangs?
Yeah, I'm Mandy the vampire
bat, thank you very much.
- Wait a minute.
You reveal yourself to be
not a gnarled old tree,
but a pesky little bat?
And you expect me to cower in
fear?
Ha, take this.
Power of beast and stealth of
creeps,
squash these foals and bury them
deep.
- Oh, go home, Selma.
Nobody's afraid of you anymore.
And without fear, you're
powerless.
- But, but.
- [Pins] Finish them, Selma.
Do it.
- I, I,
oh, I, I,
you know what?
Forget this.
I've had it.
If you fools aren't
going to cower in fear,
then why bother?
Besides, Miss Bathery is coming
to teach a water aerobics class
at the castle before dawn.
I have to peel some blood
oranges.
They're her favorites.
- Nice meeting you, Selma.
- Yeah, and good riddance.
(puffing)
- Whatever.
You'll be sad little monsters
in your Halloween village.
I'll be up in my sprawling
castle estate,
conferring with the spirits.
Until we meet again.
(cackling)
- Say, Mandy.
Is there any way I can
take over this tree gig?
If you don't wanna do it
anymore, I mean.
I can fit inside that tree trunk
easy.
All this walking's murder
(bright instrumental music)
on my feet, you know.
- It's all yours, kid.
I'm giving up pretending
to lead a battier kind of life.
Playing Goul has been a real
hoot,
but I miss night flying.
(hooting)
(laughing)
(upbeat instrumental music)
- Well, here we are.
The same as we were when we
left.
Home sweet home.
- Welcome to Halloween World,
Bighead.
- Wow.
Thanks, you guys.
It's so vibrant,
so alive.
Hey, you wouldn't happen to have
any fresh pumpkin patches
around here, would ya?
- I'm sure we do.
It's that time of year, after
all.
Why don't you go have a look
around?
- Don't mind if I do.
Whoa, is that the famous
Macabre Cadabra Mystery House I
see?
- The one and only.
- That's here?
No way.
- Somebody's enjoying himself.
- Larry, Fred.
You're back.
How'd it go?
- It went well, Boo.
Really well.
- No kidding.
Did you find Goul?
- No, we didn't find Goul.
- But we did find what
we were looking for.
- Oh, well, good for you.
You missed one heck of a
Mischief Night party here.
Woo.
Chains were rattling, let me
tell you.
We shook the gates of Hades
itself.
- Sounds like it was fun, Boo.
- Ah well, maybe next year.
- Don't sweat it, Lar.
It'll go quick.
Just stay in the shadows and
wait it out.
- I think we're gonna take
a trip this year, actually.
- Oh?
A trip?
- Yeah, we're gonna take
our new friend Bighead
out to the coast to see Bodega
Bay.
He's never been to the ocean.
- Bodega Bay, huh?
Oh, gonna do a little bird
watching?
- Maybe.
It's been a while since
we've seen the sun.
We figure it's about time.
Can't stay in the dark forever.
(laughing)
- Well, you have fun out there.
- Thanks, Boo.
We plan on it.
- If you'll excuse me,
I gotta get back in this limbo
contest.
It's coming down to me and
Houdini.
This year, I'm a-winning it all.
- Go get 'em, Boo.
(feet shuffling)
- Hey look, over there.
Is that who I think it is?
- It sure is, Dracula and
Frankie.
- What do you think they want?
(swallowing)
- Not us, I hope.
Come on, let's hide in the
Macabre Cadabra Mystery House.
- [Male] Oh,
what stinks in here?
- [Man] Something must have
crawled in here and died.
Call the exterminator.
(light instrumental music)
- Uh oh.
Sounds like Bighead's
in trouble.
- Quick, let's save him.
- Wow, so this is
Halloween World.
It's like a great big wonderland
for a vampire bat.
Whoa, this is going to
be some kind of fun.
(upbeat mystery music)
(monster laughing)
La la la la
La la la la, la la la la la
La la la la, la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la
La la la
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la
la la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la
La la la
La la la la
la la la la la la