The Handyman (2025) Movie Script
1
Put down the gun, sweetie.
No chance.
You're gonna have to do this yourself.
You're trying to test me?
Yeah, because I know for a fact
you don't have the balls to do it.
You know what?
You're right.
What do you want?
It's me, bud.
You running late?
Late for what?
Hud, I got a plane to catch.
You said you could make it by 10.
Oh.
Yeah, 10.
Oh. Shit, sorry man.
I'm, uh, got caught up in another job.
I'll, uh, be there in 15 minutes.
So you're gonna be here?
30 minute tops.
I'm, uh, running to my car right now.
Okay, see you soon.
Fuck.
Jesus, Hud, you're late.
Yeah, and you're fat.
Damn.
Life must be really good.
You know, my son would
give you shit for body shaming.
Who's body shaming?
I mean, fat is fat and you,
you're, you're kind of fat.
It's just a fact.
Yeah, well, you look like shit.
Well, I tell you, looked much
better when I got up today.
You got a light?
No, I don't smoke.
Yeah.
Good to see you, Hud.
You too, old friend.
It's been a while.
Yep.
Well, we've been worried about you
and, from what I can see, with good cause.
Don't lose any sleep over me.
Quite a few people have
been losing sleep over you.
So how's your little vacation
with your friends, Walker and Daniels?
So I had a few too many,
but you got a plane to catch.
You've been here before?
Not this place.
Let me show you around.
Don't smoke in the house.
So who picked this place?
Isn't it obvious?
What about you?
What'd you want?
I wanted by the beach someplace,
but happy wife, happy life.
Oh, it's such a pussy.
Yeah.
Nice bar.
Yeah, we're not going there.
Uh, why don't we go this way, old chap.
Your room's right up here.
This is your bedroom and the bathroom.
Place is too fancy for my taste.
Well, you can check out the other rooms
and the rest of the
property on your own time.
Let's go, buddy.
This is not a house, this is a mansion,
make no mistake about that.
Where'd you get this
place from, Bruce Willis?
Bruce Willis?
You're out of touch in more
ways than one, aren't you?
You're trying to say that Bruce Willis
isn't still the king of Hollywood?
Look, "Die Hard" was 30 plus years ago.
If you wanted to be culturally relevant,
you should have said The Rock.
The who?
Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
He can't be that famous.
Why?
'Cause I've never heard of him.
My Uber's here, I'm gonna go let him in.
Here's the keys.
Here's a laundry list of impossible tasks
Pam gave you to take care of.
Check bathroom faucets.
Check the AC ducts.
Check the basement for rodents.
Come on, you don't need me to do this.
I know, I told Pam I could hire someone,
but she insisted on you,
that you could fix anything.
Guess that's the least I could do
while I house-sit this shithole.
And don't smoke in the house.
Alright, that's twice now.
I know, I just wanna make sure
you heard me the first time.
Yeah, I hear you.
Jo wants to hear from you too.
You talked to Jo?
Yeah.
She said you stopped seeing the shrink
and took up to some
other type of medication.
Yeah, like what?
Like that liquor I could
smell on your breath.
This trip was supposed to be you and Jo,
our family, the kids, our
annual trip to Bora Bora.
What's going on, man?
Yeah, I know.
Look, I know that I fucked up, okay?
I'm a fucking failure.
No, you're not.
It's not your fault.
Uber's waiting there, Tony Robbins.
Thanks for doing this.
You tricked me.
No. Pam.
Make sure you call Jo.
Have a nice flight.
Don't smoke in the house.
Only out by the pool.
Don't empty my liquor cabinet.
Cocktail hour doesn't start till five.
Hud.
Please don't leave.
I just need some time.
I really need to find myself.
Please.
This is something that I need to do.
I hope you understand.
Hi, you've reached Joanne McAllister.
Sorry I've missed you.
Please leave a message with
your number and we'll talk soon.
Fuck.
Well, good afternoon to you.
You smoking in the house?
Not at the moment, fat ass.
What do you mean not at this moment?
Hold on.
Alright, go on.
I asked you not to smoke in the house.
Yeah, I'm in the pool.
Okay. Okay.
You taking care of yourself?
What are you, my mother?
Trying to house-sit here.
Yeah, I know.
I'm just checking on you.
It's what friends do.
I'm operating with zero distortion.
I've checked all the
little items off your list.
You called Joanne?
I did - [Amberson] Liar.
I did.
But the message is whole nine yards.
She wants to hear from you.
Yeah, maybe she should
answer her damn phone then.
Look, I'll, uh, I'll try
calling her again later.
Now you go enjoy the water
and stop being such a fucking pest.
I love you too, man.
And I'll have a hug for you
when you get home, Mom.
Give the best to Pam and the kids for me.
Take it easy, hard head.
Call Jo, and don't smoke in the house.
Hi, you've reached Joanne McAllister.
Yes?
It's me.
And?
We're at the target as planned.
We move in tonight.
Good.
Call me when you have the case.
I will send a location for the exchange.
Understood.
You just get that cash ready.
It's gonna be a cakewalk.
We're about to join the club boys.
We're gonna tap that motherlode.
We're gonna snatch us a big ass bag
of good old-fashioned fuck you money.
Right?
Yes.
Let's go. Come on, let's go.
Hi, you've reached Joanne McAllister.
Sorry I've missed you.
Please leave a message with
your number and we'll talk soon.
Hey, Jo.
Um... I just, uh... I, I
heard you wanted to talk
and I just... Uh...
Shit.
Hate this fucking voicemail shit.
Hud.
Hud.
Hud, is that you?
Hud, over here.
What do you think this
is, trick or treat, asshole?
What's up with the getup?
In case someone sees me?
Hey, genius, it's the middle of the night.
This can be traced back to me.
I can't risk it.
You said the family was
far, far away from town.
And they are.
Then you're pissing in the
wind with that fucking mask.
What if the neighbors sees something, huh?
So you think the people,
liquid enough to live around here,
give a flying fuck where
the neighbors get their blow?
Shit.
They probably all have the same dealer.
Besides, the closest
house is a half a mile away.
Now, get me in that fucking house.
All right.
Wait by the front door.
Just fix the mask, alright?
You picked the wrong
house to rip off, asshole.
Are you alone?
I may have been born at night,
but I wasn't born last night.
I'm alone.
I'm alone.
Look at my forehead.
Is that dumb-ass written on it?
No.
Look closer.
What the fuck is taking so long?
Don't just stand there and
try to think of a good answer.
Go to the back and help her.
Open that door. Go.
Fucking go, go, you fucking... Dipshits.
Fuck.
Ellis?
Ellis?
Fucking cold out here.
Freezing my fucking bag ass off.
What the fuck?
Oh, boy. Hey.
Who the fuck are you?
Neighborhood Watch.
Who the fuck are you?
Friends of the family.
Yeah, jerk off.
Just one phone call to the
owner, you'll be in deep shit.
I'm a friend of the family too.
Been for a long time.
Long enough to know who their friends are.
And you definitely ain't one of them.
It's a beautiful singing
voice you got there.
Why don't you take that
pretty singing voice of yours,
and your little showgirl friends,
and get your ass to Vegas.
You'd best move your ass.
I won't be so gentle next time.
You said the fucking house was empty.
You think I went in there
knowing some guy was
waiting to beat the shit out of me.
Then who the hell was that?
If I fucking knew, you would too.
Okay.
Do you have the case?
Yeah, we, we had a little problem.
Problem?
Yeah, some dickhead.
He's friends of the family.
He's, he's in the house.
Didn't you tell me the
house would be empty?
It is, was, it's supposed to be.
I don't know who this guy is.
Maybe a squatter.
I, I don't care who he is,
all that matters is the
case that you promised me.
What do you want us to do?
There's only an old man
in the house, you say?
Yeah.
And there are five of you?
Uh, I don't get it.
I'll make this real simple.
Go arm yourselves.
Return to the house.
Shoot the old man and get me that case.
Simple enough?
Yeah.
Uh...
Listen, uh, killing people
wasn't part of the deal.
Do you want the money?
It is now.
Yeah, um...
Look, if I have to kill someone,
we're gonna need more money.
Well, why not?
I, I, I'll, I'll even double it.
Just get me that case.
And this time, don't call me
unless you have it.
Ain't no coming back from this, man.
Alright.
You wanna walk,
you do it now,
but if you do walk,
you don't get a cut.
We all in?
Alright.
Let's go grab some guns,
come on back.
Let's teach this motherfucker a lesson.
Not to fuck with us.
Let's roll.
Yeah, no, I just got here.
Mm-hmm, no, the drive wasn't bad at all.
The place is, you know, it's cute.
I know, it's, it's pink.
Love that.
But it's, it's just gonna
take like a second for me
to get used to it, you know?
No, seriously wishing I were
somewhere sunny right now.
But whatcha gonna do?
I'm sure Mom will love
to tell me all about it
when she gets back.
Are you guys going to that kappa party?
Oh, really? Oh, my God.
You have to
tell me all about it.
Hey... Hey, can I call you back, Zander?
Yeah, no, everything's
fine, everything's fine.
It's just...
I'm, I'm gonna call you back, okay?
Drop it or I'll crack your skull.
-Uncle Hud.
-Molly.
You've grown some.
Are you still smoking?
Oh, what?
No.
You promised me you'd quit.
It was my last one.
You want to drop the bat?
Oh. yeah. Sorry.
Hungry.
Come on, Uncle Hud,
you know I don't eat meat.
Oh, well, these are as safe as churches.
'Cause I don't think there's
any real meat in here.
Oh, that is disgusting.
How about a pizza?
Yes. Oh, yes, that.
I am way ahead of you.
You said that was your last one.
What's with the case?
That's my makeup case.
It's, it's jammed or
something, I can't open it.
Here, let me see it.
Hey, hey, hey, don't break it.
Don't worry.
Yeah. Got my lucky tool.
I can literally fix anything with this.
So why aren't you in sunny Bora Bora?
I lied.
I told my mom I was gonna
stay with my friend Patricia.
But really you were with?
Zander, my boyfriend.
He's a lot like you,
Uncle Hud, you'd like him.
Yeah, I doubt that.
He loves me because I'm bus sin.
Not because I'm boujee.
He, he likes me for me,
not because my dad's rich.
Well, I hope that that's true.
It is.
Well, he must really be something
for you to turn down a tropical vacation.
It just... It didn't feel right.
Why's that?
'Cause you and Aunt
Jo aren't gonna be there.
It, it'd be weird.
Sorry.
It's all fixed.
See that?
Lucky tool.
Never leave home without it.
You're so lame.
Thank you.
No, come on.
Leave it, I'll take care of that.
It's good to see you.
She misses you, you know?
We all do.
Leave it, kid.
She knows.
We know you're in pain.
Molly, come on.
If you just stop drinking and listen.
Alright, would you just stop?
Last thing I need is to
hear about my problems
from some little princess
who's never even lived
in the real world, okay?
Hey, kiddo.
I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean what I said.
It's really stupid of me.
I'm just a little lost right now.
It's okay.
You'll find your way.
You're not alone.
Thanks.
I'm, I'm tired.
I think I'm gonna take a nap, okay?
Hey, you're a lot like your
old man, you know that?
Call Aunt Jo.
I did.
So, try again.
You need to go lay down.
And you need to stop drinking.
Oh, and stop smoking.
Just smoked my last one.
Yeah, I hope that's true.
And I hope you won't give up on Aunt Jo.
You're a good man, Uncle Hud.
You got rizz.
What?
I'll tell you what,
if you come down those
stairs in the morning
talking like a real human being,
I just may make you some pancakes.
It's just my fancy way
of saying that I know you're
not gonna give up on us.
Goodnight Molly.
Night.
Hi, you've reached Joanne McAllister.
Sorry I missed you.
Please leave a message with
your number and we'll talk soon.
Everybody ready?
Really gonna shoot this guy?
Well, if you can get
the shot, just take it.
I'm just here to get you in the house,
I ain't shooting no one.
Oh, don't be a pussy.
Look, look, like I, I'll,
I'll shoot that dickhead
in the head myself, alright?
You just get us in the
house to get the item.
Okay, and this time, he's going with you.
They.
What?
My pronoun is they, not he.
Tony, tell him.
Yeah, they.
They are gender-fluid.
So when you address
Franco, you use they, not he.
Tony, how many Franco's do you see?
One.
Ellis?
Ellis, Ellis, Ellis.
How many Franco do you see?
One.
That's right.
Theo?
One.
Snap out of it, okay?
You're only one.
There's no they or them.
I'm not gonna pay you double
'cause you think you're more than one.
I'm not comfortable with he.
You comfortable now?
Yes.
-Yes.
-You comfortable now?
Yes, call me whatever you want.
So comfortable right now, aren't you?
You're very comfortable... Okay, enough.
Now,
what if he's waiting for
us when we get in there?
Well, you just wave the
gun at him and shoot him.
And if he doesn't move?
Well, then you shoot him again, right?
And then the next bullet's
gonna have his name on it.
Okay.
Look,
just get us through the door.
That's all you have to do,
the only time you have
to get your hands dirty.
And I'm sorry for calling
you a pussy, okay?
I, sorry.
-Let's go.
-You, you forgive me.
You forgive me, right?
Hey.
There's a girl.
Are you serious?
She just ran away.
Fuck.
Think she's with that old guy?
No, but if she is who I think she is,
then shit just got deep.
I'll go find her.
You just let me (indistinct).
Copy that.
Uncle Hud.
-Uncle Hud.
-What is it?
There's somebody breaking into the house.
Sons of bitches.
What? What?
Molly.
Alright, don't worry.
Take this tracking device and hide it.
Where?
I'll figure it out.
Stay right behind me,
and once we get out there,
find a spot to hide.
Wait, where are you going?
I'm going to take out the trash.
About fucking time.
We got another problem.
Now what?
Uncle Hud.
Who the fuck is that?
Go.
Forget about them.
Let's just get the case
and get outta here.
I can't find her.
Behind you.
Motherfucker!
Fucker!
It's you, you son of a bitch,
get the fuck back up there!
And you, get me that fucking case.
Let's go.
Now.
This way, he keeps it in his room.
Even know how to
use that thing, little girl?
Fuck you!
Check the cabinets.
Better be here.
Where is it?
Give me that.
Thank you.
Hey, give me a boost.
Huh?
Give me a boost.
Okay.
Ready?
Okay, ready, one, two, three.
God.
-Bring it down.
-Alright, right.
Oh, oh, give me that.
We need to open it.
Go get, go.
Go!
Shh, shh, shh.
Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah.
Alright, go out back and wait for me.
I'll be right there.
Wait, I'm worried about you.
Don't worry about me.
Come on, go.
The hatch!
That it?
I am gonna fucking kill you.
I'm gonna make you cry.
Ah, fuck it.
Molly.
Seems like you got what you came for.
We do.
Plus a bonus.
I'm gonna let you walk with the box.
She's not going anywhere.
We'll see what happens.
Let's discuss.
Listen up, pretty boy.
You roughed up all my
guys pretty fucking bad.
Now they want some payback.
Otherwise this bitch
gets it in the fucking head.
Uncle Hud.
It's okay, kid.
Yeah, in a minute, Uncle Hud.
Get down on your fucking knees.
Hope your showgirls can dance, asshole.
Oh, they can make some moves, Hollywood.
Boys, show him.
Okay, guys, that's enough, that's enough.
Okay, just take care of him,
because we're gonna leave.
We're not taking the girl.
My ass we're not.
Her, her dad's gonna pay
good money to get her back.
And I told you this can
be traced back to me.
You're such a fucking amateur.
Are you stupid?
She has seen all of our faces.
That's why we're taking
her, you fucking moron.
She knows me.
No shit.
Um... Yeah, she, uh, she
used to work for my father,
but, but she got fired for stealing.
Oh.
Looks like a big old family reunion
here for you two, huh?
We're not taking her.
Okay, buddy, then why'd you shoot her.
Hmm?
She knows who we are, right?
We have no other option.
Theo.
Shoot this fucker.
Put down the gun, sweetie.
No chance.
You're gonna have to do this yourself.
You're trying to test me.
Yeah, 'cause I know for a fact
you don't have the balls to do it.
You know what?
You're right.
No!
In the car.
-Uh-huh.
-You killed him.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh-huh.
Where are we going?
Shut your whore mouth!
I got it.
Just bring the money.
Let's go.
Where the hell is he?
He said to meet us here.
A little out of the way, don't you think?
So we're trafficking stolen goods.
Would you rather make
the exchange at Walmart?
Just shut your punk-ass
bitch mouth right up.
And relax.
I don't like it, okay?
Don't get your knickers in a twist.
You'll get your cut,
then you do whatever you want after that.
Fuck you.
What are you gonna do with her, huh?
We'll get the money for the case.
And I get the money for the girl.
Sex trafficking.
Is that what we're doing now?
I thought we were gonna
keep her for ransom.
Nah, it's too much work.
I want the easy money.
We're gonna do it the American way.
We make him an offer.
He's bringing money for the case.
He ain't bringing extra.
And?
And
we offer him the girl
and he sets up a drop
where we get paid later.
We're no better off
than if we try and get
money from her family.
He's here.
He's here, right?
Don't worry about the girl, okay?
Right? We're gonna be rich.
You just shut up, let me
do all the talking, okay?
Right, guys.
Game on.
Game on.
Well, it looks like we have something
to give each other, huh?
That it is.
You show me yours, I'll show you mine.
As you wish.
As is as seen. Let's go.
So what's that all about, huh?
You don't need to know.
All good?
Oh, it's all good, my man.
Who's the girl?
That's my girlfriend.
You keep your girlfriend
restrained like that.
We had a fight on the way here
and, uh, she's a little pissed off at me.
What the fuck's wrong with you?
You some kind of fucking
animal degenerate?
What?
Ungag her.
Unrestrain her.
Let her go. Now.
You know this guy?
No.
They stole that case, took
me and killed my uncle.
You bastard, I'm gonna fucking kill you!
So you don't know any of them?
I know her.
Really?
How do you know her?
She used to work for my
dad before she got fired.
Really?
Ellis?
Wait.
No, you wait.
You seem to have a history
of being very unreliable.
Hey, you got what you
wanted and I made it happen.
Yes, you did.
Now we have a body
and a girl who was seen
and heard way too much.
Look, I know things didn't
go as smooth as planned,
but, but, but you got-
You said the house would be empty.
Well, shit happens.
Oh yeah, shit happens.
No.
No, no.
No!
No! Karl.
No!
Any more fucking surprises?
No problem here, sir.
Everything's fine.
Everything's cool.
Hi, you've reached Joanne McAllister.
Sorry I missed you.
Please leave a message with
your number and we'll talk soon.
Hey Jo, it's me.
Why don't you ever answer your damn phone?
Anyway,
I just wanna let you know
that I'm not the man
that you fell in love with
and I'm sorry.
I'm just really lost right now
and I didn't wanna drag you down with me.
No!
Listen, if you don't hear back from me,
just know that I love you.
I gotta go.
No. No!
Well, it looks like we can head out, okay?
We did our business here.
We're good.
Right, guys, we're all set?
Thanks for the cash.
Thanks for everything.
No, no, no, the girl comes with me.
No, that wasn't part of the arrangement.
Arrangement?
Yeah, you paid for the case.
You gotta pay for the girl now.
Okay, so would you want
the same amount as before?
Same amount.
Then it's a deal.
Let the girl walk over to me.
Come over here, child.
Come over here.
Come over here, my dear.
Come over here, child.
Okay, chief, it's your turn.
Pay the man.
Oh shit.
Oh, my God.
Who are you?
Oh, hey, buddy.
Don't mean to bother you.
I was just wondering if
you needed a handyman.
Who's that out there?
I don't know who the fuck that is.
Get out there and kill whoever that is.
God.
Alright.
Woo, hey, wait, wait Wait, wait.
Wait, wait. Wait.
-What?
-Wait, wait.
Timeout.
Timeout.
No timeouts in fights.
Now move very slowly, my dear.
-Molly.
-Uncle Hud.
Drop the gun.
Drop it.
Now.
Drop it, or I'll put a hole
through her pretty head.
No.
Do it.
Uncle Hud, huh?
What exactly do you do for a living?
I'm a handyman.
Really?
You seem quite proficient at killing.
I haven't always been a handyman.
Do tell.
Actually, I spent most of my life
putting down scumbags just like you.
What happened? Lose your nerve.
I may not be as sharp as I used to be.
Let's cut through the bullshit.
You got what you came
here for, let the girl go.
Hmm, sounds like a plan.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
Yes.
Oh, my God, what happened?
I'm alright.
Let's get outta here.
Alright, come on.
Fuck!
Motherfuckers.
Shoot him!
You alright?
Yeah.
Where did you learn to shoot like that?
I don't know.
Could be all those action
movies you showed me.
Nice job, kid.
Let's get out of here.
Yeah.
Yeah?
Hud, it's me.
Are you okay?
I got your message.
Sorry I didn't... I'm so
glad to hear your voice.
I'm glad to hear yours.
Listen, Jo,
I want to come home.
I'd like that.
I'm sorry I shut you out.
Auntie Joanne, he's,
he's kind of roughed up.
I'll, I'll call you back
later with more details,
but right now I need
to get him to a hospital.
Hospital?
-Is he okay?
-Yeah.
He's, he's a little banged
up, but he'll be okay.
Shit.
-What is that?
-We gotta go.
We talk later.
I love you.
Love you too.
I'll call you back later.
I got you.
I got you, you bastard.
Get down.
Shit.
Hud.
Here.
Oh, shit.
Fuck.
Yeah.
I'll be right back.
I'm gonna kill you, you fucking bitch.
Over my dead body.
Smoke this.
Ah, oh my...
You may not look like much,
but you sure can fix anything.
That's because I've got rizz.
By the way, smoke this?
God, you sure are so lame.
Hmm.
Couldn't think of anything else.
Oh, and where'd you end up
hiding that tracker, by the way?
Oh, Uncle Hud.
Put down the gun, sweetie.
No chance.
You're gonna have to do this yourself.
You're trying to test me?
Yeah, because I know for a fact
you don't have the balls to do it.
You know what?
You're right.
What do you want?
It's me, bud.
You running late?
Late for what?
Hud, I got a plane to catch.
You said you could make it by 10.
Oh.
Yeah, 10.
Oh. Shit, sorry man.
I'm, uh, got caught up in another job.
I'll, uh, be there in 15 minutes.
So you're gonna be here?
30 minute tops.
I'm, uh, running to my car right now.
Okay, see you soon.
Fuck.
Jesus, Hud, you're late.
Yeah, and you're fat.
Damn.
Life must be really good.
You know, my son would
give you shit for body shaming.
Who's body shaming?
I mean, fat is fat and you,
you're, you're kind of fat.
It's just a fact.
Yeah, well, you look like shit.
Well, I tell you, looked much
better when I got up today.
You got a light?
No, I don't smoke.
Yeah.
Good to see you, Hud.
You too, old friend.
It's been a while.
Yep.
Well, we've been worried about you
and, from what I can see, with good cause.
Don't lose any sleep over me.
Quite a few people have
been losing sleep over you.
So how's your little vacation
with your friends, Walker and Daniels?
So I had a few too many,
but you got a plane to catch.
You've been here before?
Not this place.
Let me show you around.
Don't smoke in the house.
So who picked this place?
Isn't it obvious?
What about you?
What'd you want?
I wanted by the beach someplace,
but happy wife, happy life.
Oh, it's such a pussy.
Yeah.
Nice bar.
Yeah, we're not going there.
Uh, why don't we go this way, old chap.
Your room's right up here.
This is your bedroom and the bathroom.
Place is too fancy for my taste.
Well, you can check out the other rooms
and the rest of the
property on your own time.
Let's go, buddy.
This is not a house, this is a mansion,
make no mistake about that.
Where'd you get this
place from, Bruce Willis?
Bruce Willis?
You're out of touch in more
ways than one, aren't you?
You're trying to say that Bruce Willis
isn't still the king of Hollywood?
Look, "Die Hard" was 30 plus years ago.
If you wanted to be culturally relevant,
you should have said The Rock.
The who?
Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
He can't be that famous.
Why?
'Cause I've never heard of him.
My Uber's here, I'm gonna go let him in.
Here's the keys.
Here's a laundry list of impossible tasks
Pam gave you to take care of.
Check bathroom faucets.
Check the AC ducts.
Check the basement for rodents.
Come on, you don't need me to do this.
I know, I told Pam I could hire someone,
but she insisted on you,
that you could fix anything.
Guess that's the least I could do
while I house-sit this shithole.
And don't smoke in the house.
Alright, that's twice now.
I know, I just wanna make sure
you heard me the first time.
Yeah, I hear you.
Jo wants to hear from you too.
You talked to Jo?
Yeah.
She said you stopped seeing the shrink
and took up to some
other type of medication.
Yeah, like what?
Like that liquor I could
smell on your breath.
This trip was supposed to be you and Jo,
our family, the kids, our
annual trip to Bora Bora.
What's going on, man?
Yeah, I know.
Look, I know that I fucked up, okay?
I'm a fucking failure.
No, you're not.
It's not your fault.
Uber's waiting there, Tony Robbins.
Thanks for doing this.
You tricked me.
No. Pam.
Make sure you call Jo.
Have a nice flight.
Don't smoke in the house.
Only out by the pool.
Don't empty my liquor cabinet.
Cocktail hour doesn't start till five.
Hud.
Please don't leave.
I just need some time.
I really need to find myself.
Please.
This is something that I need to do.
I hope you understand.
Hi, you've reached Joanne McAllister.
Sorry I've missed you.
Please leave a message with
your number and we'll talk soon.
Fuck.
Well, good afternoon to you.
You smoking in the house?
Not at the moment, fat ass.
What do you mean not at this moment?
Hold on.
Alright, go on.
I asked you not to smoke in the house.
Yeah, I'm in the pool.
Okay. Okay.
You taking care of yourself?
What are you, my mother?
Trying to house-sit here.
Yeah, I know.
I'm just checking on you.
It's what friends do.
I'm operating with zero distortion.
I've checked all the
little items off your list.
You called Joanne?
I did - [Amberson] Liar.
I did.
But the message is whole nine yards.
She wants to hear from you.
Yeah, maybe she should
answer her damn phone then.
Look, I'll, uh, I'll try
calling her again later.
Now you go enjoy the water
and stop being such a fucking pest.
I love you too, man.
And I'll have a hug for you
when you get home, Mom.
Give the best to Pam and the kids for me.
Take it easy, hard head.
Call Jo, and don't smoke in the house.
Hi, you've reached Joanne McAllister.
Yes?
It's me.
And?
We're at the target as planned.
We move in tonight.
Good.
Call me when you have the case.
I will send a location for the exchange.
Understood.
You just get that cash ready.
It's gonna be a cakewalk.
We're about to join the club boys.
We're gonna tap that motherlode.
We're gonna snatch us a big ass bag
of good old-fashioned fuck you money.
Right?
Yes.
Let's go. Come on, let's go.
Hi, you've reached Joanne McAllister.
Sorry I've missed you.
Please leave a message with
your number and we'll talk soon.
Hey, Jo.
Um... I just, uh... I, I
heard you wanted to talk
and I just... Uh...
Shit.
Hate this fucking voicemail shit.
Hud.
Hud.
Hud, is that you?
Hud, over here.
What do you think this
is, trick or treat, asshole?
What's up with the getup?
In case someone sees me?
Hey, genius, it's the middle of the night.
This can be traced back to me.
I can't risk it.
You said the family was
far, far away from town.
And they are.
Then you're pissing in the
wind with that fucking mask.
What if the neighbors sees something, huh?
So you think the people,
liquid enough to live around here,
give a flying fuck where
the neighbors get their blow?
Shit.
They probably all have the same dealer.
Besides, the closest
house is a half a mile away.
Now, get me in that fucking house.
All right.
Wait by the front door.
Just fix the mask, alright?
You picked the wrong
house to rip off, asshole.
Are you alone?
I may have been born at night,
but I wasn't born last night.
I'm alone.
I'm alone.
Look at my forehead.
Is that dumb-ass written on it?
No.
Look closer.
What the fuck is taking so long?
Don't just stand there and
try to think of a good answer.
Go to the back and help her.
Open that door. Go.
Fucking go, go, you fucking... Dipshits.
Fuck.
Ellis?
Ellis?
Fucking cold out here.
Freezing my fucking bag ass off.
What the fuck?
Oh, boy. Hey.
Who the fuck are you?
Neighborhood Watch.
Who the fuck are you?
Friends of the family.
Yeah, jerk off.
Just one phone call to the
owner, you'll be in deep shit.
I'm a friend of the family too.
Been for a long time.
Long enough to know who their friends are.
And you definitely ain't one of them.
It's a beautiful singing
voice you got there.
Why don't you take that
pretty singing voice of yours,
and your little showgirl friends,
and get your ass to Vegas.
You'd best move your ass.
I won't be so gentle next time.
You said the fucking house was empty.
You think I went in there
knowing some guy was
waiting to beat the shit out of me.
Then who the hell was that?
If I fucking knew, you would too.
Okay.
Do you have the case?
Yeah, we, we had a little problem.
Problem?
Yeah, some dickhead.
He's friends of the family.
He's, he's in the house.
Didn't you tell me the
house would be empty?
It is, was, it's supposed to be.
I don't know who this guy is.
Maybe a squatter.
I, I don't care who he is,
all that matters is the
case that you promised me.
What do you want us to do?
There's only an old man
in the house, you say?
Yeah.
And there are five of you?
Uh, I don't get it.
I'll make this real simple.
Go arm yourselves.
Return to the house.
Shoot the old man and get me that case.
Simple enough?
Yeah.
Uh...
Listen, uh, killing people
wasn't part of the deal.
Do you want the money?
It is now.
Yeah, um...
Look, if I have to kill someone,
we're gonna need more money.
Well, why not?
I, I, I'll, I'll even double it.
Just get me that case.
And this time, don't call me
unless you have it.
Ain't no coming back from this, man.
Alright.
You wanna walk,
you do it now,
but if you do walk,
you don't get a cut.
We all in?
Alright.
Let's go grab some guns,
come on back.
Let's teach this motherfucker a lesson.
Not to fuck with us.
Let's roll.
Yeah, no, I just got here.
Mm-hmm, no, the drive wasn't bad at all.
The place is, you know, it's cute.
I know, it's, it's pink.
Love that.
But it's, it's just gonna
take like a second for me
to get used to it, you know?
No, seriously wishing I were
somewhere sunny right now.
But whatcha gonna do?
I'm sure Mom will love
to tell me all about it
when she gets back.
Are you guys going to that kappa party?
Oh, really? Oh, my God.
You have to
tell me all about it.
Hey... Hey, can I call you back, Zander?
Yeah, no, everything's
fine, everything's fine.
It's just...
I'm, I'm gonna call you back, okay?
Drop it or I'll crack your skull.
-Uncle Hud.
-Molly.
You've grown some.
Are you still smoking?
Oh, what?
No.
You promised me you'd quit.
It was my last one.
You want to drop the bat?
Oh. yeah. Sorry.
Hungry.
Come on, Uncle Hud,
you know I don't eat meat.
Oh, well, these are as safe as churches.
'Cause I don't think there's
any real meat in here.
Oh, that is disgusting.
How about a pizza?
Yes. Oh, yes, that.
I am way ahead of you.
You said that was your last one.
What's with the case?
That's my makeup case.
It's, it's jammed or
something, I can't open it.
Here, let me see it.
Hey, hey, hey, don't break it.
Don't worry.
Yeah. Got my lucky tool.
I can literally fix anything with this.
So why aren't you in sunny Bora Bora?
I lied.
I told my mom I was gonna
stay with my friend Patricia.
But really you were with?
Zander, my boyfriend.
He's a lot like you,
Uncle Hud, you'd like him.
Yeah, I doubt that.
He loves me because I'm bus sin.
Not because I'm boujee.
He, he likes me for me,
not because my dad's rich.
Well, I hope that that's true.
It is.
Well, he must really be something
for you to turn down a tropical vacation.
It just... It didn't feel right.
Why's that?
'Cause you and Aunt
Jo aren't gonna be there.
It, it'd be weird.
Sorry.
It's all fixed.
See that?
Lucky tool.
Never leave home without it.
You're so lame.
Thank you.
No, come on.
Leave it, I'll take care of that.
It's good to see you.
She misses you, you know?
We all do.
Leave it, kid.
She knows.
We know you're in pain.
Molly, come on.
If you just stop drinking and listen.
Alright, would you just stop?
Last thing I need is to
hear about my problems
from some little princess
who's never even lived
in the real world, okay?
Hey, kiddo.
I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean what I said.
It's really stupid of me.
I'm just a little lost right now.
It's okay.
You'll find your way.
You're not alone.
Thanks.
I'm, I'm tired.
I think I'm gonna take a nap, okay?
Hey, you're a lot like your
old man, you know that?
Call Aunt Jo.
I did.
So, try again.
You need to go lay down.
And you need to stop drinking.
Oh, and stop smoking.
Just smoked my last one.
Yeah, I hope that's true.
And I hope you won't give up on Aunt Jo.
You're a good man, Uncle Hud.
You got rizz.
What?
I'll tell you what,
if you come down those
stairs in the morning
talking like a real human being,
I just may make you some pancakes.
It's just my fancy way
of saying that I know you're
not gonna give up on us.
Goodnight Molly.
Night.
Hi, you've reached Joanne McAllister.
Sorry I missed you.
Please leave a message with
your number and we'll talk soon.
Everybody ready?
Really gonna shoot this guy?
Well, if you can get
the shot, just take it.
I'm just here to get you in the house,
I ain't shooting no one.
Oh, don't be a pussy.
Look, look, like I, I'll,
I'll shoot that dickhead
in the head myself, alright?
You just get us in the
house to get the item.
Okay, and this time, he's going with you.
They.
What?
My pronoun is they, not he.
Tony, tell him.
Yeah, they.
They are gender-fluid.
So when you address
Franco, you use they, not he.
Tony, how many Franco's do you see?
One.
Ellis?
Ellis, Ellis, Ellis.
How many Franco do you see?
One.
That's right.
Theo?
One.
Snap out of it, okay?
You're only one.
There's no they or them.
I'm not gonna pay you double
'cause you think you're more than one.
I'm not comfortable with he.
You comfortable now?
Yes.
-Yes.
-You comfortable now?
Yes, call me whatever you want.
So comfortable right now, aren't you?
You're very comfortable... Okay, enough.
Now,
what if he's waiting for
us when we get in there?
Well, you just wave the
gun at him and shoot him.
And if he doesn't move?
Well, then you shoot him again, right?
And then the next bullet's
gonna have his name on it.
Okay.
Look,
just get us through the door.
That's all you have to do,
the only time you have
to get your hands dirty.
And I'm sorry for calling
you a pussy, okay?
I, sorry.
-Let's go.
-You, you forgive me.
You forgive me, right?
Hey.
There's a girl.
Are you serious?
She just ran away.
Fuck.
Think she's with that old guy?
No, but if she is who I think she is,
then shit just got deep.
I'll go find her.
You just let me (indistinct).
Copy that.
Uncle Hud.
-Uncle Hud.
-What is it?
There's somebody breaking into the house.
Sons of bitches.
What? What?
Molly.
Alright, don't worry.
Take this tracking device and hide it.
Where?
I'll figure it out.
Stay right behind me,
and once we get out there,
find a spot to hide.
Wait, where are you going?
I'm going to take out the trash.
About fucking time.
We got another problem.
Now what?
Uncle Hud.
Who the fuck is that?
Go.
Forget about them.
Let's just get the case
and get outta here.
I can't find her.
Behind you.
Motherfucker!
Fucker!
It's you, you son of a bitch,
get the fuck back up there!
And you, get me that fucking case.
Let's go.
Now.
This way, he keeps it in his room.
Even know how to
use that thing, little girl?
Fuck you!
Check the cabinets.
Better be here.
Where is it?
Give me that.
Thank you.
Hey, give me a boost.
Huh?
Give me a boost.
Okay.
Ready?
Okay, ready, one, two, three.
God.
-Bring it down.
-Alright, right.
Oh, oh, give me that.
We need to open it.
Go get, go.
Go!
Shh, shh, shh.
Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah.
Alright, go out back and wait for me.
I'll be right there.
Wait, I'm worried about you.
Don't worry about me.
Come on, go.
The hatch!
That it?
I am gonna fucking kill you.
I'm gonna make you cry.
Ah, fuck it.
Molly.
Seems like you got what you came for.
We do.
Plus a bonus.
I'm gonna let you walk with the box.
She's not going anywhere.
We'll see what happens.
Let's discuss.
Listen up, pretty boy.
You roughed up all my
guys pretty fucking bad.
Now they want some payback.
Otherwise this bitch
gets it in the fucking head.
Uncle Hud.
It's okay, kid.
Yeah, in a minute, Uncle Hud.
Get down on your fucking knees.
Hope your showgirls can dance, asshole.
Oh, they can make some moves, Hollywood.
Boys, show him.
Okay, guys, that's enough, that's enough.
Okay, just take care of him,
because we're gonna leave.
We're not taking the girl.
My ass we're not.
Her, her dad's gonna pay
good money to get her back.
And I told you this can
be traced back to me.
You're such a fucking amateur.
Are you stupid?
She has seen all of our faces.
That's why we're taking
her, you fucking moron.
She knows me.
No shit.
Um... Yeah, she, uh, she
used to work for my father,
but, but she got fired for stealing.
Oh.
Looks like a big old family reunion
here for you two, huh?
We're not taking her.
Okay, buddy, then why'd you shoot her.
Hmm?
She knows who we are, right?
We have no other option.
Theo.
Shoot this fucker.
Put down the gun, sweetie.
No chance.
You're gonna have to do this yourself.
You're trying to test me.
Yeah, 'cause I know for a fact
you don't have the balls to do it.
You know what?
You're right.
No!
In the car.
-Uh-huh.
-You killed him.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh-huh.
Where are we going?
Shut your whore mouth!
I got it.
Just bring the money.
Let's go.
Where the hell is he?
He said to meet us here.
A little out of the way, don't you think?
So we're trafficking stolen goods.
Would you rather make
the exchange at Walmart?
Just shut your punk-ass
bitch mouth right up.
And relax.
I don't like it, okay?
Don't get your knickers in a twist.
You'll get your cut,
then you do whatever you want after that.
Fuck you.
What are you gonna do with her, huh?
We'll get the money for the case.
And I get the money for the girl.
Sex trafficking.
Is that what we're doing now?
I thought we were gonna
keep her for ransom.
Nah, it's too much work.
I want the easy money.
We're gonna do it the American way.
We make him an offer.
He's bringing money for the case.
He ain't bringing extra.
And?
And
we offer him the girl
and he sets up a drop
where we get paid later.
We're no better off
than if we try and get
money from her family.
He's here.
He's here, right?
Don't worry about the girl, okay?
Right? We're gonna be rich.
You just shut up, let me
do all the talking, okay?
Right, guys.
Game on.
Game on.
Well, it looks like we have something
to give each other, huh?
That it is.
You show me yours, I'll show you mine.
As you wish.
As is as seen. Let's go.
So what's that all about, huh?
You don't need to know.
All good?
Oh, it's all good, my man.
Who's the girl?
That's my girlfriend.
You keep your girlfriend
restrained like that.
We had a fight on the way here
and, uh, she's a little pissed off at me.
What the fuck's wrong with you?
You some kind of fucking
animal degenerate?
What?
Ungag her.
Unrestrain her.
Let her go. Now.
You know this guy?
No.
They stole that case, took
me and killed my uncle.
You bastard, I'm gonna fucking kill you!
So you don't know any of them?
I know her.
Really?
How do you know her?
She used to work for my
dad before she got fired.
Really?
Ellis?
Wait.
No, you wait.
You seem to have a history
of being very unreliable.
Hey, you got what you
wanted and I made it happen.
Yes, you did.
Now we have a body
and a girl who was seen
and heard way too much.
Look, I know things didn't
go as smooth as planned,
but, but, but you got-
You said the house would be empty.
Well, shit happens.
Oh yeah, shit happens.
No.
No, no.
No!
No! Karl.
No!
Any more fucking surprises?
No problem here, sir.
Everything's fine.
Everything's cool.
Hi, you've reached Joanne McAllister.
Sorry I missed you.
Please leave a message with
your number and we'll talk soon.
Hey Jo, it's me.
Why don't you ever answer your damn phone?
Anyway,
I just wanna let you know
that I'm not the man
that you fell in love with
and I'm sorry.
I'm just really lost right now
and I didn't wanna drag you down with me.
No!
Listen, if you don't hear back from me,
just know that I love you.
I gotta go.
No. No!
Well, it looks like we can head out, okay?
We did our business here.
We're good.
Right, guys, we're all set?
Thanks for the cash.
Thanks for everything.
No, no, no, the girl comes with me.
No, that wasn't part of the arrangement.
Arrangement?
Yeah, you paid for the case.
You gotta pay for the girl now.
Okay, so would you want
the same amount as before?
Same amount.
Then it's a deal.
Let the girl walk over to me.
Come over here, child.
Come over here.
Come over here, my dear.
Come over here, child.
Okay, chief, it's your turn.
Pay the man.
Oh shit.
Oh, my God.
Who are you?
Oh, hey, buddy.
Don't mean to bother you.
I was just wondering if
you needed a handyman.
Who's that out there?
I don't know who the fuck that is.
Get out there and kill whoever that is.
God.
Alright.
Woo, hey, wait, wait Wait, wait.
Wait, wait. Wait.
-What?
-Wait, wait.
Timeout.
Timeout.
No timeouts in fights.
Now move very slowly, my dear.
-Molly.
-Uncle Hud.
Drop the gun.
Drop it.
Now.
Drop it, or I'll put a hole
through her pretty head.
No.
Do it.
Uncle Hud, huh?
What exactly do you do for a living?
I'm a handyman.
Really?
You seem quite proficient at killing.
I haven't always been a handyman.
Do tell.
Actually, I spent most of my life
putting down scumbags just like you.
What happened? Lose your nerve.
I may not be as sharp as I used to be.
Let's cut through the bullshit.
You got what you came
here for, let the girl go.
Hmm, sounds like a plan.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
Yes.
Oh, my God, what happened?
I'm alright.
Let's get outta here.
Alright, come on.
Fuck!
Motherfuckers.
Shoot him!
You alright?
Yeah.
Where did you learn to shoot like that?
I don't know.
Could be all those action
movies you showed me.
Nice job, kid.
Let's get out of here.
Yeah.
Yeah?
Hud, it's me.
Are you okay?
I got your message.
Sorry I didn't... I'm so
glad to hear your voice.
I'm glad to hear yours.
Listen, Jo,
I want to come home.
I'd like that.
I'm sorry I shut you out.
Auntie Joanne, he's,
he's kind of roughed up.
I'll, I'll call you back
later with more details,
but right now I need
to get him to a hospital.
Hospital?
-Is he okay?
-Yeah.
He's, he's a little banged
up, but he'll be okay.
Shit.
-What is that?
-We gotta go.
We talk later.
I love you.
Love you too.
I'll call you back later.
I got you.
I got you, you bastard.
Get down.
Shit.
Hud.
Here.
Oh, shit.
Fuck.
Yeah.
I'll be right back.
I'm gonna kill you, you fucking bitch.
Over my dead body.
Smoke this.
Ah, oh my...
You may not look like much,
but you sure can fix anything.
That's because I've got rizz.
By the way, smoke this?
God, you sure are so lame.
Hmm.
Couldn't think of anything else.
Oh, and where'd you end up
hiding that tracker, by the way?
Oh, Uncle Hud.